#Granted I had DVDs and videos to help

[wingzie]

Jikook and the Importance of Photos

Photographs are special. They map out our lives through precious memories. They leave a footprint in time that can forever be part of our history. These glimpses of our past, make us who we are and show what or who is important to us. They are full of so much love and emotions, even more so when they are shared with those most trusted to us. This goes for every photo shared by the members.

 I personally think it’s amazing that we can tell when a photo of Jimin is taken by Jungkook, there’s a certain style to it and it comes across even at a glance. One of my favourite photos of Jimin by Jungkook is this one:

This photo was taken from the behinds of Life Goes On. Each MV was beautifully directed by Jungkook, and it’s hard to miss the references made from within their old dorm. I know Jungkook isn’t keen on photos but, just like during GCFT, Jimin is looking at Jungkook and not the camera here with that smile. With that one look, that we are so familiar with, we can trace every single moment within their history which has that same shining expression. It tells a story over time, but also that one photo itself is so telling in the way that it was captured. One of my favourite photos of Jungkook by Jimin is this one:

There’s something raw and delicate in this photo.You can see it in Jungkook’s eyes. Each item in the photo tells its own little story, from the Birthday cake to the polaroid photos on the table that we never saw. This photo is all we saw from the night of Jungkook’s Birthday in 2019 and sometimes I am reminded that with these glimpses into their lives, there are still so many moments of theirs that we are unaware of. For example, Jungkook had a hickey on his neck during MOTS:Online and none of us had any idea until the DVD Behinds came out. 

For every selca or video that Jikook has shared with us, it shows a part of them that we are so lucky to witness. To be able to watch their growth over the years is magical and something I will always cherish. Why am I going on about photos and memories though?  Because they give so much of themselves to us and I will never take it for granted, nor expect them to give more to us than they want to. Some of their memories are for them only, but we can still hold dear what we know already…

Some of you know this already, but I have been caring for my Mother lately. Over the last few months, her memory has worsened. In an attempt to help, we play memory games and repeat simple tasks together. However, her memory is something that cannot be simply fixed with such methods. I had the idea to get out family photos, until I realised that we had stopped taking them when my parents divorced. It’s made me more proactive in archiving things that I do each day. Every little thing I see or hear, I note it down or save the song. In a way, it’s also how I associate with BTS or Jikook. When the BTS World soundtrack came out, I was having a really bad day and it gave me a lot of comfort. I smile whenever I hear Pied Piper because it’s one of my friends favourite songs. Any time I hear “Jungkookie” or “Jimin-ssi”, a barrage of memories come to the front of my mind and I grasp onto all of them whilst I still can. 

I'm sure it's not just me who does this either, Jimin and Jungkook probably do this themselves. You could see that when Jungkook was watching Jimin’s compilation with us. He was recollecting the same memories as us, but he also has access to an entirely different set of memories that we don’t know of. We also saw that with the way Jimin and Jungkook both explained the Rainy Day Fight. During the Festa video, Jungkook mentioned “rainy day” and expected Jimin to understand what he meant. Later on, Jimin and Jungkook gave their own versions of what happened in their separate lives. They both more or less experienced the same thing, but blamed themselves for their actions and not the other. 

They love adding to their own collections of memories. Every single time that Jimin watched Jungkook rehearse and the other way around, enough so that they could probably be a backup dancer. All the clips they have but haven’t shared. The moments we don’t find out until later, the inside jokes they have without context. We don’t understand, but that doesn’t matter. Only they have to and we just watch and smile. Their memories are a huge part of them, it’s what makes their bond so special.  

[weed-ols]

Reviewing Every UKISS Release: By Unpopular Demand

Nobody asked for this, I don't even think anybody wants this, but I have a voice, and I'm gonna use it while I have a mild mental breakdown over how long it's taking me to rip their concert DVDs and consequently breaking my only USB and therefore forcing me to shell out even more money after splurging on them. Like it's fine, it only took me two hours to rip Action after spending an hour fiddling with the damn DVD reader before giving up and using a busted old laptop.

Anyway.

So to start, some general opening remarks about this whole unasked project, some rules or whatever:

They have a ton of music. I saw someone on twitter mention it a while back, but after writing down everything I need to listen to, it's a lot. There's about 11 studio albums, 13 mini albums (granted, one is a Christmas repackage + 2 new songs), and a bunch of JP singles (most of which made it into albums, but still they had to promo those).

I have no idea what to classify their clothing album Only You as. It's only 4 songs long, but I feel like that's enough to call it a mini album/extended play/whatever? Also, it has like no presence whatsoever on YouTube or Spotify, and the only reason I remember it exists is because for some reason I have the album art on a random USB (not the one I broke).

Neither Spotify nor YouTube Music have their full discography. Spotify is missing all their JP releases prior to Panic (meaning we're missing the Christmas album and a lot of b-sides), while YouTube Music has their JP discography, but is missing Collage, Moments (funny enough, the Mysterious Lady single is still there), Mono Scandal (which was there right up until last week).

While hunting for some of their music, I found an OT6 version of Ready For U that someone mixed, and I also found out there's a version of OT6 RUN A WAY, but I don't think it exists anywhere publicly.

A lot of their songs have a bunch of different versions, courtesy of their unstable lineups, but I probably won't touch on all of them. A lot of them are from their concerts, so maybe if I do concert reviews if the DVDs start cooperating, and I'm not masochistic enough to sit through every single ManManHaNi performance.

I won't do their JP singles separately, I'll do the entire album, then do the b-sides grouped by album release.

Format is something along the lines of -- actual music, music video(s), and music show stages. I found my feelings varied quite a bit from music-music video-music show due to costuming and choreo.

This is mostly for archival purposes, as in I'm just dumping all the info I know on these releases here for myself, and whomever finds it helpful. A lot of things are from my own memories from back in the day, so they might not be totally accurate since a lot of the sources are gone. Feel free to add/correct if the 10 Kissmes on here are willing.

[buddygoodboyesq]

Kevin Conroy died.

If you don’t follow voice actors, Kevin Conroy played Batman and Bruce Wayne in Batman: The Animated Series, The New Batman Adventures, The Batman-Superman Movie: World’s Finest, Batman Beyond, Justice League, Justice League Unlimited, Justice League Action, The Killing Joke, the Arkham series of video games, and some other movies I know I missed.

You know his voice. He was vengeance. He was the night. He was, for many, including me, Batman.

* * *

Batman’s always been a part of my life. He—and I’m not talking about an actor here but the Real Batman—is still one of my heroes, and the Real Batman’s sense of justice and equity still informs mine. I doubt I’ll ever fire a gun. I’ll always try to extend an open hand instead of a closed fist. I’ll always think capes are a necessary fashion accessory.

My parents maintain that I recognized a cardboard standee of Michael Keaton’s Batman by name in 1989. I was two, maybe. Not much of a talker at that point. Batman ‘89 is the first movie I ever recall seeing on VHS. I got myself in trouble repeating some of the words I learned in that movie at a dinner party once. I still have a Polaroid of myself, my twin brother, and my sister as two Batmans and a Catwoman standing with the ‘89 Batmobile at an auto show that we went to specifically for that.

Then there was the 1949 Batman and Robin movie serial starring Robert Lowery and Johnny Duncan. We had two VHS tapes of that, and there must have been a third out there, because I first saw the ending when it was rereleased on DVD in 2005. Worth the wait? Not exactly, but for completion’s sake, it needed doing.

Let’s not forget Batman ‘66. Dad was almost definitely the one who got us watching those. He can still tell you the date of the premiere, and what date he saw the real Batman and Robin with the Batmobile at Walt Whitman Mall on Long Island. I watched that show with a religious zeal—I never saw the strings until watching it on Blu-ray. Whether that’s due to taping the show off a TV re-run or because I was a True Believer, I’ll never know.

A copy of the children’s novelization of Knightfall wound up in my hands as part of a birthday party goody bag.

The comics, of course; I recall nearly my first comic ever being an early issue of the Contagion crossover, and it scaring the pants off me. Chuck Dixon, Larry Hama, Ed Brubaker, Grant Morrison, not to mention the countless artists like Neal Adams, Scott McDaniel, Alex Toth…

***

But Batman: The Animated Series debuted on Fox Kids on September 5, 1992, airing the first part of “The Cat and the Claw,” a two-part episode featuring Adrienne Barbeau as Catwoman, Kate Mulgrew as Red Claw, and, of course, Kevin Conroy as Batman. This was, and is, my Batman.

Kevin always played his Batman as trying to save everyone, especially his villains. Mercy was as much a hallmark of his character as gadgets, martial arts, and Batarangs. Villains like Two-Face, Mr. Freeze, Ventriloquist, and Catwoman—especially Catwoman—he was always trying to bring over to the side of the angels. Even no-namers like Sid the Squid got the benefit of the doubt.

Kevin seemed to be that way in real life as well—I only got to know about him indirectly, through interviews and secondhand stories. He served food to NYC first responders after 9/11, and rekindled their spirits by playing Batman for them. He seemed genuinely gracious to be known as Batman and gave everyone their moment with the Man himself.

One of the most powerful things he ever did was to come out as gay. He even wrote a comic about how being in the closet informed his performance as Batman and Bruce Wayne—about fear, duality, loneliness, rage—and being able to do something positive with it. More than any other actor, Kevin Conroy embodied Batman. He was dealt a tough hand, pushed through it, and used his position to help others.

“Finding Batman” was written by Kevin Conroy, drawn and colored by J. Bone, lettered by Aditya Bidikar, and edited by Arianna Turturro and Jessica Chen. It was published by DC Comics in DC Pride 2022, available in print and digitally. It’s worth your time.

Kevin, I’ll miss you. Thanks for everything.

[kishoremehta]

Run Barry Run

I am here to watch The Flash. People are boycotting the film due to Ezra Miller's antics. It doesn't affect me or anyone else. The CW series had come to an end. The new DC universe launched managed by James Gunn. I had arrived early as I have a new card and needed to see if the pin will work. Usually book seats early online. Seat J13 screen 8. 13:10 on Friday 16th June 2023. I was impressed with the film. Good action scenes, comedy and acting. The cgi was a little ropey at the beginning. Sasha as Supergirl did a great job. She is pretty too. Ezra as two different Barrys. It is just a shame with what happened outside of work. Good seeing Keaton, Sheen and Irons. Some cameos expected. Would have been nice foe Grant Gustin but because of availability it didn't happen. I know that they recast Henry. Good soundtrack. You could feel the emotion. The Speed Force was like if Sam Raimi had created it. The Flash is busy helping Batman save the city. Eventually he discovered what else he can do with his abilities. He goes back in time to save his mum being killed. A flash point is created. Things have changed for the worse. Sod has arrived to take over the world. Kara is being held prisoner. Bruce is retired. Barry needs the help he can get. There is a post credits scene though it isn't really important.Sasha Calle · Supergirl ; Ben Affleck · Batman ; Ezra Miller · Barry Allen ; Michael Keaton · Batman ; Michael Shannon · General Zod.

[pixie-skull]

# 30 Post: Top 19 Goth Girls

This was asked by Anonymous and yes depending on the subject matter, I do requests. So this list composes of goth girls I grew up with and who I think is the most attractive outfit. :D I had to look up a to jog my memory, so these gothic gals I grew up watching. *=I had a crush on.

19. Dusk (new outfit) 

18. Creepella or Creepie

17. Black Cuervo (no suit outfit)

16. Thorn (new outfit)

15. Mavis (regular)

14. Luna (new outfit) 

13. Rogue (the first character to appear in the gif)

12. Sam (regular outfit)

11. Dusk (old outfit)

10. *Raven

9. *Debbie

8. Daphene (yes one episode yet counts)

7. Vanessa Doofenshmirtz (I just realized if I let my hair grow out I could make a costume idea for myself) 

6. Mavis (wedding)

5. *Shego

4. *Scarlet Witch

3. Sam (ballgown outfit)

2. *Gwen 

1. *Thorn (old outfit)

0. *Luna (old outfit)

So these were in the order of best-looking outfits. Best share ones I missed that you grew up with. Also, please again consider requesting an idea or two. 

[derekscorner]

Fated Rantings: Apocrypha

I have begun watching Fate Apocrypha pt 1

Technically my tumble down the Fate rabbit hole began with lore videos on youtube and Fate Grand Order on mobile but the first anime I’ve watched is Apocrypha. (although I do have the original Fate Stay/Night on dvd)

And it’s been quite good too my shock. Granted, I think I was able to follow it better than other new fans since I know some lore terminology early. I’m also aware of the Unlimited Blade Works and Heaven’s Feel timelines already.

Although the anime itself explains what it needs to properly I think. Apocrypha, like nearly every Fate entry, is it’s own timeline of events at it’s core. One where a mage joined the nazi party during WWII then used them to steal the Grail from Fuyuki.

Yes, a mage humorously tricked the nazis into helping him steal an item of miracle level power then killed his collaborators leaving the party to lose WWII. lmao

As of typing this I am 14 episodes in and two people that have stood out to me have been Astolfo and Mordred.

I’ll have to give Mordred her own post cause hot damn that poor child but Astolfo himself surprised me. Given internet osmosis and memes I had no idea about the truth of his character.

I’ve seen people throw fits or defend him but now that I’ve seen the show I find it a shame such talks are so surface level at times. You can say what you want about “traps” but his morality as a character is shockingly solid.

Most Heroic Spirits are very morally gray since they come from different times to our own and they’re bound to their masters whims so I wont call the other heroes of the Black Faction bad but among them Astolfo was the first and most adamant about sticking to his morals from life.

14 episodes in and I’ve come to find his character rather admirable. He is fully aware he that he was Charlemagne’s weakest knight but he’s still acted rather knightly despite how he presents himself.

I was actually glad to see him escape his first master to pact with Seig and his (to put it bluntly) dorky personality is needed to contrast everyone else there. He never downplays the severity of situations but between blood thirsty, battle happy, or serious mages & spirits he’s a welcome brevity.

To be blunt, I rather like this character. Perhaps not for reasons the “activists” on tumblr would or other such groups but I do find his presence rather enjoyable.

Given the tragedy that awaits so many heroes which defines them once summoned centuries later he’s a rather nice bright spot on the field. I’m not sure how well he’d work in other situations but within the confines of Apocrypha he’s a good character.

I hope he gets his wish once I reach the end of this anime. Sometimes a story just needs a happy personality to contrast it’s cast and world....well not too bright. I can’t stand baseless optimism just like I can’t stand baseless pessimism. lol

[crisp-sweet-pink-lady]

Summer of Strawberry Shortcake: Cooking Up Fun

I've got mixed feelings about these episodes. On the one hand, it's annoying that so much of the runtime is literally showing you how to cook the recipes exactly, but on the other hand, I'm sure if I were in the right age demographic I would love this for exactly that reason (one of my favorite videos growing up was a Betty Crocker cake decorating video, so there you go). And it's a little disconcerting for Strawberry to keep insisting that you should always get a grown-up's help with cooking when there are no adults to be seen. Seriously, every time she mentioned it, I kept waiting for someone to look around, trying to locate these "grown-ups" of which Strawberry speaks.

This DVD is basically the return of all the core characters who haven't had speaking roles in season three: Apple Dumplin', Honey Pie Pony, and Huck. Plus, this is the first time (and maybe the only time) that Orange Blossom has a spotlight episode. Sadly, that episode was the most "instruction-y" but it had some levity added with Angel Cake inserting herself into the others' recipes. I would have preferred if that happened a little more, but ah well.

During the last DVD (Berry Fairy Tales), I noticed that you can tell the voice cast is getting older, and in this one we see that time has progressed at least a little in-universe, too, with Apple Dumplin' acting a little older than the last time we saw her. Granted, this is to facilitate the plot, but it makes me wonder if the showrunners had already decided to age up the main characters for the next season. "Adult" Apple Dumplin's hair does look kind of like season four Strawberry's....

Next up is the movie!

[the-man-that-i-was-not]

If anyone's sick of seeing my sad posts, then I'm sorry. This is gonna be another one.

Today should've been my dad's 65th birthday and even though I miss him every day, it hit a lot harder today. It was nice looking through loads of old family photos with my mum, but it also made me kind of sad. I realised that the dad I had in my childhood is the one that I really miss and that's the dad I want to remember. From 2014 onwards he suffered so much and he was so much more ill, I wouldn't want him to still be going through all of that, I really don't blame him for calling it quits, those last seven years were hellish for him.

When I think about my dad, I think about him pre-illness. I think about when he used to sit and watch my live Nightwish DVDs with me. I think about when we used to help each other with levels on whatever shooter we were each playing at the time. I think about all of the times he drove me to and picked me up from shows I was playing and he never once moaned about it. I think about us singing the lead guitar parts (terribly) on our favourite Eagles songs in the car. I think about all the times I'd show him stupid videos I found on YouTube that would make him laugh so hard he'd begin to sound like Muttley.

Happy birthday you stubborn old fart, I miss you every single day. I never got to thank you for everything you did for me and everything you taught me, I'll never take those things for granted. I hope I'm even half the man you were.

[zr-art-world]

Homestuck fan comic act 1 script w.i.p

I thought I might as well post what I have so far of my scrips. I'm not done with the whole outline, but I am far in its development that I feal confident enough to work on the act 1 script.

I’m also posting this for any possible critique. Working on something alone kind of suck so... if anyone out here has any critique for me, it would be very much apricated

(I’m doing this on word, so this isn't a link, sorry its long)

Act 1 Script

 *Curtains open up

A young girl is asleep in her bed, despite the time, the warm covers that trap her body heat and protect her from the cold threaten her back into the sweat embrace of sleep.

wake up

…

Wake Up

WAKE UP

WAKE UP!

…

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Jean falls off bed

A young lass lays in the middle of her room. It just so happens to be the 17th birthday of this young girl’s birthday. It was 17 years ago she was given a name and due to time and events, her name has slipped from this young girl’s mind. Help the lass jog her memory.

 *She takes the text box and scribbles in her name

Wait, shit, what are…

 Oh…ok, take the fun out of it. I hope your proud of yourself

 Your name is Jean Croker, a spunky girl that loves jokes, japes, and overall buffoonery, as it is in your blood. Granted, your jokes tend to be a little less humorous and more impish. Not helped by your love of misdirecting magic tricks and love of jesters. You also enjoy video games that, due to their age, are considered retro in this day and age, one series in particular that tickles your fancy being about a certain thieving, morally gray racoon. You also like comics and comic movies. However, you have a soft spot for the morally dubious yet heroic leads, as evident from the poster strewed around your walls and the figures lining some of the surface in your room.

Enough of that, let us take a better gander of your room, shall we?

 Jean, equip arms

 Equip…arm??? You have your hand here, on your body. Whare else would they be??? Would I have a pair of fake ones? Why would I?

…

Although that does sound fun, you can only imagine the possible pranks you could pull with those bad puppies.

 Jean, inspect posters

 As mentioned before, you have a love of morally grey heroes. They do the right thing, but their methodologies aren’t the greatest, there’s also the fact that these characters tend to be more fun than the grittier brand of anti-heroes. With their wise cracking mouthy personalities and all.

 Inspect plush

 You inspect the large plush on your floor, it depicts one of your favorite animals. The majestic and trash eating racoon. They can be cute or a little menacing and their depiction in media tend to associate them with thieve, as seen with their method of gathering food and the fur pattern around their eyes. God, you love these scrunkly fucks.

 Inspect figurines

 You already made you point clear towards Harley Quin, but the jesters…well… you don’t really have an explanation of that, you just like them for no defined reason. Maybe its that they look slightly more elegant than their clown counterpart? You’re not sure.

 Look in closet

You don’t have a lot of shelf space, so you result to putting most of your stuff in the closet. This is where you put all your games, movies, DVDs, plushies, figures, ect.

Inspect bat

Inside is you prized baseball bat. Man, you have had some fun time with this thing, it’s somewhat dented from previous use as you used play quite a bit in the day. You did quite a few extracurricular activities when younger. It was one of those things’ you guardian signed you up for in order to put your energy to more…productive activities.

 Mess around with bat

You begin to mess around with your bat, trying to be carful not to knock anything over.

 Grab hat

(grabs hat and puts it on her head and spins it backwards)

Jean, pose

…

Wait

What are you doing?

Quit dilly-dallying and get going on with the story.

You also decide to put the bat under strife spesubes. You never know when you need to “accidently” break a window with a base ball and run away like the kids in almost every movie that has some illusion to base ball.

Inspect dress

You fish a taky red and white dress from your closet. You look at it with discontent as your eyes are assaulted with the shiny accents and itch white frills. Your guardian gave this to you to wear on your birthday so you can prance around like a show pony. You didn’t even want a big party and you certainly don’t want to wear this thing. God, you just want to burn the damn thing.

Throw the dress on the floor

You can not burn it for obvious reason, so you decide to just disrespect it by throwing it on the floor. Ya, you sure showed that inanimate object what for.

Other outfits

You don’t actually put a lot of your cloths in your closet, so you head to your dresser.

*Old baseball outfit

*Some shirt that looks like someone skinned a 90s arcade or old bowling ally

*Some weird looking overall clown pants that look like its missing a texture package

Ok, this is dumb, pick and outfit already

 Wait, what is that box under your bed

It is a present from one of your friends that arrived early. You remember you had to sneak the package inside to prevent a lecture from your guardian.

Open box

The first ting you note is a classic Walmart birthday card with striders equally classic vernacular and doodles.

Happy B-day jean, it is on this day that you appeared on this random mud planet and it is today you turn a year older. For your b-day, I got you something that made me think of you. I defiantly didn’t see it in my dad’s “Old shit” closet and I’m defiantly not trying get it out of my house because it freaks me the fuck out. I hope you like it.

Sinsirly fuck spelling

From, Dare

You open the box and…oh…wow.

It appears to be a long limed stuffed porcelain faced jester in a purple outfit with gold trim. The smirk engraved on its face emits an eyrir energy. The doll itself doesn't look inherently scary but you kind of get a weird feeling emanating off it. This is giving you some serious Annabella vibes. Maybe to avoid being stuck in the middle of your own Goosebumps episode, you should put the jester back in the box.

Put the jester back in the box

Um...are you going to put it back or...

You love it

Oh...seriously. Ok, but you only have yourself to blame for the inevitable B-movie horror plot that happens next. You capture log the disturbing and possible possessed porcelain jester in your sylladex…for some reason. You have the pocket fetch modus and so you kind of just stuff things in what ever pockets you have on you. However, it has a size capacity so you just tie the arms around your neck until you find a proper fetch modus.

Look out window

Outside, you can barely see the entrance gate and there are also an abundant of chimaera looking gargoyles. These things line the perimeter and area of the house, a creepy decor choice that scares you shitless when you go out of your room to piss or when you go and grab a glass of water in the middle of the night.

Despite living in this house for most of your life, it still feels off.

EXSPOSITION

You believe it is time for some context. You Just so happen to be adopted into the Crocker Corp Family tm. A massive baking conglomerate dedicated on pushing their confections to the word. They have also bought a multitude of different companies that don’t really relate to baking, like their software branch pushing games and computer software and they even have a gaming division. Recently, they released a game that you were able to get you and your friends early access, not sure if you mother meant it as a nice jester or to get you to not bother her.

Jean, answer friend

WOW, that got sad, but look!

One of your friends are pestering you, most likely about the game. It appears to be your friend Remi Lalonde, a clever lad you met on a gaming forum along with your other friends. Despite your differing personalities, you and the other members of your friend group seamed to hit it off. Your friend Remi also seems to be interested in your family, more specifically, things that your family does that may seem… sketchy. You don’t really believe a lot of the theory’s he has proposed, but your relationship with your mother and the Crocker corp name isn’t the best either way. You can’t even remember the last time you saw her.

Jean, pester back

 --gnawingInquiry [GS] began pestering with riotousCharlatan [RC] at 8:02 AM—

GI: Morning Jean

RC: RRRREEEEEEEMMMMMIIIIII

RC: whats up man?!

GI: currently, nothing of note

GI: Have you gotten the game yet

RC: idk, I just woke up a while ago

RC: pretty rudely to. Have you ever had that feeling of falling in your sleep and waking up in a cold sweat?

RC: granted, I did fall out of bed so…

GI: Well, that is one way to start your birthday

RC: I think its pretty on brand for me on this day of all days

RC: But I think Dares gift defiantly made it a bit better.

GI: :/

RC: What?

GI: I’m just a little worried what he decided to give you. Although I don’t live with you, so I can’t say what you can and can’t do with your gifts.

GI: what ever mischief or general chaos you choose to inflict isn’t any of my busyness.

RC: >:)

RC: anyways, he got me an old porcelain jester that belonged to his uncle.

GI:…

GI:……

GI:………….

RC: Dude

GI: Give me a minute to think of a response

RC: ok, I get that, but do you have to put in the ellipsis. I can feel your cocked eye brow judging stare.

GI: I just, have you seen his uncle’s puppets. They ether range from weird to horror movie prop.

RC: I have in fact seen them. Tbh, this is one of the less weird looking ones.

GI: ok, send me a pic

RC: …

RC:……

RC:………

RC: Fuck you

GI: I believe I made my point clear.

RC: OK smart ass. Your one to talk, you live in the middle of but fuck no ware woods. That’s some slasher shit.

GI: Correction, it is not “…In the middle of the woods”. The nearest city is literally a 40-minute drive from here.

GI: Ok, we are grossly off topic

GI: we can talk again once you check your mail

RC: ¬_¬aaaaaggggghhhhhhhh

GI: ?

RC: I don’t want to deal with a certain person today

GI: Ah yes, the pains of having a private maid. The horror.

RC: look, she’s…ok. But she is so nagging and I know she would say something about me giving you guys my address.

GI: Granted, it is a valid concern

RC: But still.

RC: I also don’t want to see all those decorations

RC: I know she did a lot to make it look perfect, but I never asked for a large party. Its just going to be me and her. Like last year, and the year before that, and the year before that, ya get the point.

GI: Sooooo

GI: your mother…

RC: She’s probably gonna give me the obligatory gift and card with money in it

RC: Again, I know I’m lucky to have all this stuff but…

RC: Shit, I’m sorry for dumping all that on you. I just started typing without really thinking.

GI: It is quite alright; it is totally understandable to feel like that.

GI: It’s only fair, considering all the times I talked your ear off with my problems.

RC: It just kinda feels like being thrown in the deep end of a cold pool. Left flailing and cold, uncomfortable, and you want to be any ware else.

RC: Just left there to hold onto the edge like that guy from Titanic.

RC: Tbh I forgot his name.

GI: I did not think the Titanic would be something from your movie repertoire.

RC: Not really, it’s just one of those movies most people know because it’s been around for a long ass time.

RC: We can all agree that there was defiantly enough room for both of them on the piece of wood.

GI: …

GI: Did you just say that because it is a common thing said about the movie.

RC: … maybe

GI: Part of me really want to dissect that statement and point out the holes, but I’m not.

RC: Have you seen Titanic

GI: I’ve seen reviews of the 2017 one.

RC: You're the type of person that spoils the movie for themselves by reading the reviews, aren’t you?

GI: Look, I rather spoil a good movie for myself than waste my money to see a bad movie.

GI: Getting back to the main topic that I feel like you are avoiding in order to prolong getting out of your room…the game.

GI: If you don’t do it now, you are going to have to in the future.

RC: UUUUGGGGHHH!!!!!!

RC: I hate it when your right!

RC: I bet you fucking love though.

RC: Maybe I could go out the window.

GI: omfg

GI: You relay need to talk to someone about this.

RC: Nope.

GI: What about those dreams you have been having.

RC: Double NOPE

RC: Aren't you the one that says that dream theory is "Incredibly dubious"

GI: Not when dissecting common themes and relating them to behaviors and instances in a person’s life. When I said "Incredibly dubious" When referring to dreams, I was referring to their usage to tell the future.

GI: One of the reasons most people tend to feel like an event is familiar is because your unconscious mind simulates a variety of different events. Therefore, it is possible that a real event will have similarities to a dream you had in the past.

GI: Jesus, how do you keep making me go on tangents! Getting on the main topic, no more derails, I have a fucking death grip on the reins to this shit show pony ride.

RC: >:P Your the one that was asking about dream theory.

GI: I was making a statement about a problem you probably need help with. You are the one that brought up my feeling about how dreams are used in a less scientific method.

GI: Also, its You’re.

 --gnawingInquiry [GS] ceased pestering with riotousCharlatan [RC] at 8:19 AM—

 Check mail box

You look out the window and find the fed flag on the side is down. Wait, does that mean you don’t have mail? If you remember correctly, when you flip it up, it signals to mail people that you have mail to send. You might as well check to make sure. You look back and forth between the door and the window ceil.

Abscond out window

You use your sheet and blankets to-wait, what!

Oh, wow, you were being serious

Um

Well

You use your sheets and blankets and tie them together to slid out the window like Rapunzel.

You misstep and almost fall and break you neck. You can already imagine the headline, “Local Ritch kid Dies from Tall Fall After Reenacting Disney Movie”.

You catch yourself and nearly miss snaping your neck like a pencil and making this story really short.

Climbing out the window and swinging the gate to for the walk way, you get a good look at the exterior. It is…a fucking mansion. It’s on the older side with little minimalism, unlike modern houses. Another thing to note are the fucking gargoyle things, each one a variety of differing animal parts. You see that the gate you just existed through has a pin pad and another, much larger gate, for vehicles to enter the premises.

You also take a good look at the scenery around your house. You live in one of those towns people stop by when they’re on a long trip and need to get gas and restock on snacks. You’ve only been in town a few times growing up because it takes forever to drive there and also due to your protective care taker.

Check mail box

Yes! It is in there!

You have successfully retrieved SBURB

Abscond with spoils

Grabbing your spoils, you attempt to dash back to your hidey-hole but-

Uh oh, it looks like your maid has trapped you in a corner. Crap, now you have to explain your ass.

Strife

[blackmissfrizzle]

Wrong Bitch

Pairing: Angel Reyes x black!reader

Summary: Based on this imagine

Warnings: Petty Angel & reader, smut

Gif credit: @angels-reyes​

“Didn’t I tell you that last time?”

“Nope, wrong bitch. Must’ve been one of your other girlfriends.” You lied, knowing full well Angel just told you last week he didn’t like you hanging out with Nestor or Miguel.

Angel inhaled a deep breath and clutched his fists. Ever since you left the bar you have been trying him and he didn’t know how long he could last. Your mouth kept running a mile a minute like he wouldn’t spank your ass raw.

“I don’t have time for this, Y/N. Just stay the fuck away from them!” Angel demanded as if he were king.

“Well, I have time today. You can’t tell me shit, I’m a grown ass woman. I do what I want whenever I want. So, if I wanna dance with my friend then damn it that’s what I’m gonna do.” Now you were in Angel’s space, your face close to his.

“Is that so?” Angel asked, leaning in closer to you.

“Yup.” You confidently said, crossing your arms and staring down at your annoyed boyfriend.

Excitement thrummed through you when you saw the flash of anger on Angel’s face. He was about to fuck you up and you were gonna enjoy every minute of it.

“Aight,” Angel simply said, going into the kitchen to get a beer.

“Aight?” You repeated, following him. That reaction was completely unexpected. You thought you would be bent over already.

Angel had to keep his smirk hidden, taking a sip of his beer. Maintaining his patience paid off and now you weren’t getting your way. A win-win situation.

“That’s all you got to say?”

Angel walked passed you in the doorway, his body close to yours that you could smell the beer on his lips. “Yeah. Remember you do whatever you want whenever you want, mami.”

Leaving you in shock, Angel went to go sit on the couch and watch tv. He pretended to laugh at the tv when he heard you grumbling and then plopping down on the far side of the couch.

Every so often Angel’s eyes would cut to you and he saw the same thing every time. Your arms, knees tucked into yourself, the same pout while you cuss him out under your breath. If it wasn’t so funny, he would’ve been fixed your attitude.

Missing touching you, Angel grabbed your ankle to massage your foot and scoot you closer to him, but you were resistant to it. “No, Angel. Leave me alone.”

“C’mon, you love my massages.” Angel pulled your ankle once again.

This time you kicked your foot to break his hold, but instead you accidentally kicked him in the face prompting you to double over in laughter.

Angel was gonna blow it over, but then you had to just go ahead and laugh. Too busy with crying your eyes out, you didn’t notice Angel get up until you felt a sharp pain at the back of your head, and you were on your knees.

“You think that’s funny?” Angel was unbuckling his belt with one hand while the other still had a firm grip in your hair. He pulled his magnificent dick out, but you didn’t have time to adore it because he pushed your head to his crotch, forcing you to take him all in.

It all took you by surprise, but once you were able to calm down you could breathe normally and enjoy the heavy feel of Angel in your mouth.

Gentleness was not in the plans for tonight. Angel kept his hands tight on your head making sure you went nowhere as he repeatedly shoved his dick down your throat.

“I should’ve done this earlier. Only way to keep your mouth shut is some dick in it.”

Angel tilted your head slightly for you to look at him and just like that you came. Your boyfriend was sex on legs. He tilted his own head back, rolled his eyes, and licked his lips.

When Angel finally looked down he saw you squirming around. He pulled away from you with a trail of saliva still connecting the two of you. “Did you just fucking cum?”

“I’m sorry, daddy.”

Angel dragged you to the couch and ordered you to stay put while he went into the room. When he returned he had the wand in his hand. You were getting giddy, because when the wand comes out, multiple orgasms are promised.

Before coming back to the couch, Angel turned on the DVD player, putting on one of your many sex tapes you made together.

“Siéntate.” Angel patted his lap. He took your pants and panties off before you sat in his lap.

Leaning over your shoulder, Angel admired your glistening wetness. He couldn’t help himself and had to give it a couple of smacks. “Fucking juicy ass pussy and it’s all mines. It’s mine right, querida?” Angel lowered his voice, tucking his head in the crook of your neck to nip at your chin.

“It’s all yours,” you declared.

“Damn right.” He growled right before he set the wand against your clit. The combination of the sex tape playing and the vibration of the wand had you writhing in pleasurable torture. It was becoming too much, you had to close your eyes.

“Nah, keep your fucking eyes open. Watch how good I fucked you. Don’t you want to be fucked like that again? All cock drunk and willing to do whatever I say.” Angel was on a roll. You knew he didn’t want you to answer, so you kept your mouth closed. “Oh, I love it when you’re like that, mami. All fucking needy and willing, and most importantly so fucking obedient for daddy. Where’s that girl at, baby? Where’s daddy’s good girl, hm?”

If it wasn’t for Angel’s quick hands, you would’ve fell off his lap after the intense orgasm washed over you. If necessary, this man could get you off with his voice alone but add in the erotic video and that damn wand, and you turn into a waterfall.

You thought you would get a reprieve, but Angel put the toy back on your weeping core. “Angel, no more.” You begged, trying to run away, but there was nowhere to go.

“Don’t you wanna be a good girl?” Angel was teasing you now, it was all in his voice. He wanted you over the edge, begging, coming to him because you knew he was the only one able to grant you that release.

You weren’t gonna let him get the best of you. Clinging to your last bit of defiance, you shot back at him. “Angel, if you don’t shut up and fuck me then get the fuck off me and let me find someone to finish the job.”

That little jab got your boyfriend to flip the switch. His features darkened as he laid you down and slammed into you. His hand automatically went around your throat, instinctively making you squeeze around him.

“You always got to pop off at the mouth. Keep it up and I’ll fuck one of those other putas you’ve been talking about.” Angel teased, knowing you were just as possessive as him. He enjoyed the fury on your face and the frustration when you couldn’t do anything but take everything he was giving you.

Angel noticed you trying to wrap your legs around him, but he needed them wide for him to hit the angle he was reaching for. “Keep them legs open.” But he felt so good, you couldn’t comply, so Angel had to pin down your legs to keep them how he wanted them.

“I must be fucking the wrong bitch, because my girl is a grown ass woman and wouldn’t run from the dick.” Angel commented when he saw you trying to push him away.

“Fuck you, Angel.” You spat back which lack the venom you wanted, because of how good Angel was drilling into you. The mayan darkly chuckled as he digged your pussy out, claiming it as his.

This continued on forever until you were a weeping mess from the back to back orgasms Angel generously gave out. He was making sure you knew who own your body.

“Awww, look at my baby. The dick so good, I got you crying?” Angel mocked then leaned down to kiss your tears away.

At this point you threw your pride out the window. You begged Angel to stop, that you couldn’t take anymore, but he insisted that he knew you had one more in you and fortunately, he was right. In no time, Angel pulled out the most explosive orgasm of the night that you almost passed out, but Angel wasn’t having that, he needed you awake.

Angel hovered over you, proud of the number he did on you. “Now, next time I tell you not to do something, you’re gonna listen, right?”

“Nah, you got the wrong bitch.” You smiled weakly.

It looked like Angel needed to teach you another lesson.

Tags: @marvelmaree​ @chaneajoyyy​ @sadeyesgf​ @starrynite7114​ @angrythingstarlight​ @woahitslucyylu​ @briannab1234​ @sparklemichele​ @thickemadame​ @ifoundmyhappythought​ @dearsamcrobae​ @titty-teetee​

[krsonmar]

How do I girl?

Awkward question from a cis-hetero woman to trans folks...I'm happily cis but have always been a tomboy and am neurodivergent in all the ways, and apparently a trait that tends to align with neurodiversity in women is difficulty in performing femininity--like the superficial trappings: style and makeup, but also stuff like communication styles and body language, ect.--which lines right the heck up with my experiences. I pretty much never learned that stuff in adolescence, for various reasons, and now I'm in my thirties and, as I like to say, I don't know how to girl. Which is, as we all know, sliiiiiightly more allowable when you're a kid but not so much in the adult worlds of professional workplaces or dating, and while I'm fine with being the ways I am, the tough reality is that the world grants or withholds opportunities based on ability and willingness to meet other people's expectations, reasonable or not.

So the awkward thing I want to ask is how my trans femme ladies learned feminine body language specifically. I figure a lot of it is just a person’s inherent self being allowed to be expressed instead of tamped down but also I've seen older movies or TV shows where a trans character uses videos or DVDs specifically made for trans women to learn this stuff, and--this feels like the clueless thing to ask--is that even a thing anymore? If I were to go on YouTube, what would I search for? Right now I'm just getting these gag-inducing tradwife wannabes talking about how "God likes pretty girls and don't you want to honor your sacred femininity" blah blah bleeeech. Basically, I like my own tomboyish femininity plenty, but I need to learn body language in a more traditionally feminine way so I can mask my neurodivergence better.

I hope this isn't clueless or harmful in any way, I'm genuinely really sorry if it is and that's part of why I haven't asked until now--this feels like one of those "I don’t know what I don't know so I might accidentally put someone else's eye out in my flailing" things, so if I'm making any assumptions I shouldn't be or costing someone any mental bandwidth they didn't want to give up, and you have the spoons to tell me that gently, I want to be the best ally I can be and would appreciate it, and you have my sincere apologies. I wish you a better day than you’ve had so far and that you happen upon puppy kisses that help make it so. So...can anyone give me a hand in finding some sort of resources? What should or could I be looking for?

[aryn-writes]

Comfort

Jumin x MC

~I wrote this instead of doing my math. Enjoy! I also apologize for the bad writing ahaha this is a draft but I wanted to post so yeah!~

It has been months since Jumin has seen you look anything other than exhausted.

And he hates not being able to do anything.

MC is in their last year of university, but everything has been online for the past year and a half. And this last semester was just hurting them.

He didn’t quite understand why you were always so tired; his role these past few months hadn’t changed much other than implementing COVID-19 protocols and working a bit more from home.

He knew that at the beginning, you were doing your best to stay positive for your peers and professors. They all knew you as the one who always smiled and had a bright, sunny attitude that went through the camera. But he watch as you slowly fell into a lack of motivation, and your depression began to creep back slowly.

He tentatively walked into your study room, noticing how you were staring death glares into your math homework.

“MC, my love, how do you feel about going on a date today?”

“Jumin, I have to keep doing homework. I still don’t understand it and we are learning a new topic in the next lecture. Also, you do realize that the pandemic is still really bad, right?”

“I thought we could order your favorite food and have a movie night. You’ve seemed stressed and it can’t be good for you.”

“I would love to go on a date, JuJu, but I need to figure all of this out. The professor is sending prerecorded videos and you know how much I struggle with those.”

He nodded, unsure of what to do next.

“How about dinner? You haven’t been eating well, and I know the truth darling so please come eat with me.”

You knew he was right. But school was important, and being in your final year you didn’t have the time to waste especially since you needed to apply for more grant renewals to get your doctorate degree. (You hadn’t told Jumin because he would immediately pay for you, and you didn’t;t want to inconvenience him like that).

“Jumin-”

“MC, please?”

You looked at him from where you sat, taking note of the small smile he had in hopes that you would get up, but also the desperation in his eyes. It had been a while since the two of you had spent time together, and though you would eat together whenever you could, you guessed that he just wanted your attention.

“Okay. Let’s go order some food, JuJu”

His smile immediately widened, and he walked swiftly towards you to hold your hand and guide you to the kitchen.

Except he didn’t lead you to the kitchen.

In the living room the two of you shared was a huge pillow fort.

And by huge, you meant huge as in you couldn’t see any other doors and were pretty sure that it spanned the entirety of the room.

You looked over to Jumin, noticing the bright eyes he had paired with that small smile. With a tilt of his head and his free hand gesturing to the entrance, he said “Come, my love.”

“Jumin, how?”

“You haven’t been okay recently. I wasn’t sure what to do since you refused to see a therapist, and as a result I found that doing something you love tends to help, if even just as a distraction. I have never made a pillow fort, and so I asked Luciel, Zen, and Yoosung to create one. Do not worry, were properly compensated. Jaehee has lent us some of her Zen DVD’s, but if you are not in the mood to watch him, then we can always put on a show or a different film.”

You plopped down on one of the cushions on the floor. You noticed that the boys had left you some stuff as well. With the snacks, you saw several bags of Honey Buddha Chips, fish-shaped buns, and (your favorite food), which had likely been prepared by Yoosung.

“Oh no. Do you not like it? We can always go to the dining room or kitchen to eat if you aren’t happy.”

Without realizing, you had started tearing up, and Jumin noticed before you did.

“Honey, I love you.”

“And I love you, MC. But are you okay? Do not feel as though we have to stay here if you are not comfortable. I just wanted you to take a moment outside of school.”

“You are amazing. And I am just very appreciative and well, happy. Thank you Jumin.”

And for the rest of the night, the two of you cuddled in the pillow fort.

[waywardfangirl]

For the fantastic @fight-surrender: You are a wonderful person with a brilliant mind and a kind heart, and I am so happy to know you! I really enjoyed the prompts you suggested for the Secret Snowflake exchange this year, so to give you something fluffy and happy for your birthday I combined a few of them into one sweet and silly fic - I hope that you like it! 🖤

A big thank you goes out to @carryonvisinata for her wonderful beta work and for making this fic even better for such an incredible friend 🖤 Purr-fect Strangers

Rated: General Audiences Word Count: 3208 Chapters: 1/1 Simon

"Die Hard? Really?"

I'm struggling to make the Redbox give me my DVD. Video vending machines sounded like a good idea when I couldn't find anywhere to stream my favorite movie, but the obstinate thing in front of me and the condescending voice behind me are now making me reconsider my choices.

"What's wrong with Die Hard?" I demand, momentarily giving up on retrieving my video to take some of my frustration out on the prick watching me.

Unfortunately, when I turn around to scowl at him, I make eye contact with one of the most attractive people I've ever seen. He's tall, with dark hair escaping the bun on top of his head and falling around his face, and a perfectly tailored suit hugging every inch of his body right on down to his shiny Chelsea boots. My brain shorts out, and he sneers at me.

"There’s nothing wrong with it, per se. But you have a near unlimited assortment of cinema to choose from, and you've selected Die Hard?"

(Read the rest on ao3, or keep reading here)

I scoff.

"Look, mate, some of us don't feel the need to watch pretentious films just to feel better than other people. I like Die Hard. I'm going to watch it while eating pizza and relaxing in joggers, and I refuse to feel bad about enjoying that."

He looks a bit startled, and his cheeks take on a slightly pink tinge, but he just arches an eyebrow at me. (And manages to make that look unfairly hot too, the prat.)

"What movie are you renting?" I say it like a challenge, and he pushes past me.

He deftly removes my DVD from the stubborn machine and thrusts it at me, before turning back around to get his own. I loiter behind him, just like he did to me, ready to see what movie he thinks is better than Die Hard.

"Two Weeks Notice?" I exclaim, when I see the poster pop up on the screen. "You're ridiculing Die Hard, but getting a rom-com for yourself? Unbelievable."

He pushes past me and turns up his nose. My blood boils for so many different reasons, and it's work to hold myself still.

"This has Hugh Grant in it. My tastes are superior."

Then he swans off, and I'm left standing on the kerb.

Baz

A year into my time at university, I started treating myself to a monthly visit to Sephora. It was easily excusable then, with parties every weekend to justify each new purchase, but I've kept up the tradition since graduating. (Retail therapy and good skin care never hurt anyone. And a little eyeliner does wonders for one's self esteem.)

This month, I'm browsing for something sparkly. My eyes are grey, but with a dark, glittery liner I think they might stand out a little more. I'm just testing one of the pencils on the back of my hand when I see him.

Blond hair, plain blue eyes, and a constellation of freckles and moles across his skin. The most lovely man I have ever seen, with the worst taste in movies, and (I'm sure) a well-deserved hatred for me.

For all that I try to appear cool and confident, my facade sometimes fails me. When I get flustered, I become cruel. The man renting Die Hard was so pretty that all I could do was insult him and then curse myself for it the entire way home. I couldn't even properly enjoy Hugh Grant, as mired as I was in self-loathing. And now, whatever second chance to impress him I've been granted with has surely been ruined by my actions last time.

I keep my head down and steal glances at him through my eyelashes.

He is entirely out of his element, that much is obvious right away. I watch him ask one of the shop assistants for help, and she points him in the direction of a display. His brow furrows as he picks up different containers, and he’s ridiculously precious and hopeless as he holds a lipstick tube next to a garish eyeshadow palette and closes one eye to look at them. (What is he even doing?)

Finally, his confusion seems to win out, and he turns to look around for help, when he suddenly spots me. I've been caught out; I can't pretend now like I haven't been staring, and he scowls a little as we make eye contact. I arch an eyebrow, watch as his face grows pink in anger, and decide I hate myself enough to try talking to him again.

"That's really not your shade."

"What?" It's a simple word, horribly enunciated, and does nothing to quell the wrinkle between his eyes.

"The purple. I don't think it would flatter you. Furthermore, that lipstick clashes horribly with every color in that palette."

He turns a bright red and starts to splutter. I am hopelessly endeared.

"That's not- I, I don't- it isn't-"

"Oh, calm down, there's nothing wrong with wearing makeup," I say, flashing him the back of my hand with the eyeliner tests on it. "You just need to pick a better shade." I pluck a different palette (for blue eyes) and a lipstick in a true red from the display and hand them over. "Something like this."

He stares at them dumbly for a moment, his mouth hanging open. (Mouth breather.)

"You think I should wear this?"

"I think it would flatter you if you chose to wear makeup. That purple will do you no favors." I sneer at the garish eyeshadow still in his hand.

"It's for my friend!" he finally bursts out.

"Are you mad at her?" It's a reasonable question, that eyeshadow is truly appalling.

"No? It's her birthday next week, and she said that she wanted to have some makeup for date nights and things."

"Are you in love with her?"

"No!" No hesitation at all. "No, no way. Penny is like my sister. She's my best friend. We're not…" he trails off, and I'm strangely reassured. He still probably hates me, but at least there is one woman in the world that he’s not dating, so my odds have improved marginally.

"Don't get your pants in a twist. I just thought you might be, since that eyeshadow would certainly drive away her current boyfriend."

He sticks out his chin and seems to decide something.

"Fine. What should I get for her, then?" The “if you know so much” is left unsaid.

I'm not really an expert, despite my monthly purchases, but I'll take any excuse I can get to linger around this starburst of a boy for a few moments more.

"Does she wear makeup normally?" He shakes his head no. "Then perhaps start with something more subtle for her." I take the offending palette away and hand him a more subdued one, with a faint shimmer. "Do you think this would look nice on her?"

He thinks hard for a moment, then pulls out his phone, swiping at the lock screen and turning it to face me.

"This is her."

His home screen background is a picture of the two of them, cheeks pressed together and grinning like crazy under the summer sun. His curls are being tossed by the wind, and he looks like a bronze Adonis. I think my heart actually skips a beat at the sight.

"That palette will be fine then. This lipstick, too," I add, handing him a plum shade. "Do you need anything else?" I ask, and then cringe when I sound like I'm working instead of flirting.

He shakes his head.

"No, this is brilliant, thanks."

He still looks a bit confused, and he bites his lip as he looks down at the makeup in his hand - the makeup for his friend, and the things I picked out for him.

I don't want to go, but I can't figure out any way to prolong our conversation.

"You should get that one," he says, pointing to one of the lines on my hand. I raise an eyebrow in question. He's right, but what does this mean? Is he flirting? Does he want me to wear eyeliner? Is he just trying to repay me for helping him? "Yeah. Definitely that one."

He raps his knuckles on the counter beside us twice, and then wanders towards the check out.

It's not until I'm trying to fall asleep that I realize - he bought the makeup for himself too.

Simon

One of my foster fathers had a workshop, and I spent a happy summer watching him build a table and matching chairs for the dining room. I didn't get to stay to see it completed, because one of his biological children kept stealing money out of his mom's purse and blaming me, but I still enjoyed the time I had spent watching woodworking. I liked it so much that when Penny and I graduated and got a flat together, I saved up to buy a few tools. I don't make anything major, but I've built small shelves and a side table and a pan organizer for the flat, and I really like it.

Recently, Penny has been complaining about not being able to reach everything in the kitchen, so while she's still at work I stop by the B&Q to pick up some wood for a step stool. I'm heading to the check out when I see him - the mean makeup guy. (Although he was actually quite nice when we were talking about makeup. He was just rude when we were getting our movies.)

He's dressed casually today, in tight dark jeans and a warm grey sweater, with his hair falling in loose waves around his face. He's glaring down at two wrenches, and I hate that he still looks so good when he's glowering.

Before I even register what's happening, my feet have carried me over to him.

"D'ya need help?"

He startles, and turns lovely grey eyes up to look at me. It's work not to gasp. He’s wearing eyeliner. I'm not entirely sure, but I think it may even be the eyeliner I told him to buy.

"The sink in my kitchen is leaking. I watched a tutorial on YouTube, and it should be easy enough to fix, but I don't have the proper tools."

He goes back to glaring at the wrenches, and I lean over to take a look.

“You want that one.”

“Why? How do you know?”

“Well, it’s adjustable. You can change it within reason, so as long as your plumbing isn’t something incredibly out of the ordinary it should fit just fine.”

He looks surprised (and maybe a bit like he wants to attack me, although I try to ignore that).

“How do you know that?”

I laugh.

“Basic home maintenance, mate, I’ve had to fix a leaky sink before too, believe it or not.”

I grin at him until one corner of his mouth tips upward in response.

“Thanks,” he says, his cheeks flushing a little. “I’ll get this one then. Yes. Thank you. Have a nice evening.”

He strides off, once again leaving me feeling a bit dazed.

He looks really good in eyeliner.

Baz

When Fiona discovered I hadn’t left the apartment in a week, she called in the cavalry. Daphne showed up at my door with a casserole and some flowers, and within minutes she had the kitchen feeling like a place that was less utility space and more home.

“Basil, Fiona is worried about you.” I rolled my eyes, despite knowing it wouldn’t get me anywhere. “I’m worried about you, too. You spend so much time by yourself, and you hardly ever go out to see your friends or enjoy the city.”

“I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.”

“Basil,” she had said, and that time it was a warning. “It’s not healthy for anyone to spend this much time alone.”

“What, do you expect me to get a cat?”

Daphne smiled, and I knew that I had said the wrong thing.

“Yes, actually. And,” she said, before I could object, “Fiona thought you should too. In fact, she made it a condition of your continued occupancy of this flat. We both think it might be nice for you to have someone else around to talk to.”

I arched an eyebrow.

“And you want me to talk to a cat?”

Daphne just gave me a Mona Lisa smile, handed me a plate filled with food, and told me when she left later that evening that I had forty-eight hours to send her a picture of a cat. (I asked what I should do if I didn’t like any of the cats I saw. Or if they didn’t like me. She said I had to at least prove that I tried.)

So, this morning, I made my way to the nearest RSPCA and talked to strangers for the first time in over a week. I told them that I was looking to adopt a cat, and they immediately led me to a room filled with individual cages and an assortment of felines. They said I could play with any of the cats that I wanted, and now I’m staring into the eyes of a fluffy orange tabby.

The tabby meows at me, and I swear that she’s telling me to get lost. I guess cats can tell when you’re out of your depth.

I stroll down the aisle and read the names given to each cat. It’s been years since I last had a pet and even then, the husky my family had wasn’t my sole responsibility. I was in charge of feeding him, but there was always someone else making sure that I did. And really, we only adopted him when my pediatrician suggested that an animal might help me after my mother died. Daphne is probably trying to do the same thing again now. (Is this how one becomes a crazy cat lady? Depression, anxiety, OCD, and an unwillingness to tolerate therapy?)

I keep walking slowly until I feel a tug on my sleeve. I look down, and a little orange paw ending in one very sharp claw has latched on to me. I unhook it before my sweater can snag, and then look into the kennel. There are two kittens, each only about ten weeks old according to their cards, and the orange one is peering up at me with big blue eyes. Its littermate is asleep in the corner, curled into a fluffy black puffball, but the tabby is ready to play. His tail twitches, and he pounces immediately when I wiggle a finger between the bars. He catches my fingertip in a far more gentle grasp than I would have imagined, then looks at me with what can only be described as pure adoration.

“Excuse me,” I say, moving my finger some more and feeling small claws dig in. Then again, louder, to get the attention of the woman, “Excuse me. Can I see this one?”

The woman comes over and flips the latch, then reaches in and comes out with a handful of fur and knives. The kitten opens its mouth in a fierce imitation of a vampire, then stretches it further as it lapses into a yawn. We spend the better part of an hour in a bright, cheerful room, just the kitten and I. At first it chases a string that I drag along the ground and runs after balls with bells in them, but then it calms down and curls up in my lap to sleep.

I’m petting it and cooing softly to it, trying to ignore the fact that Daphne and Fiona were both right about this whole thing, when the door to the room opens again.

“Oh. It’s you,” says the most beautiful man I have ever seen. My face flushes when I remember our last encounter and I pray he doesn’t remember my ignorance. (Of course he does. I didn’t know how to select a wrench. I am incapable of basic home repair and he knows it.)

“Do you two know each other?” The woman from before is back, this time holding the other kitten from the same cage, and looking between the two of us. “These kittens aren’t technically a bonded pair, but they are siblings, the only two remaining from their litter, and it would be lovely if they could still see each other.”

“Err…” the man says, shifting his weight.

“We’ve met in passing a few times now,” I say, trying to avoid encouraging this line of questioning.

“Great!” she says, clapping her hands brightly after handing the kitten off. “I’ll leave all of you to get better acquainted then!”

For a moment, there’s just awkward silence. Neither of us are looking at each other, both focusing on our respective kittens. Then, his kitten turns into the feline equivalent of a slinky, oozes out of his grasp, and runs over to tap my leg once before running away again. It hides behind his legs, and all I can see is a black tail winding around his ankles.

We both laugh, and the ice is broken.

“I’m Simon,” he says, and smiles at me. It’s the same radiant smile I remember from his lockscreen. It feels like looking into the sun, and I bask in it.

“Basil. Although my friends call me Baz.”

“Are you going to…” he trails off, but gestures to my cat.

“Yes,” I look down and give it a scratch under the chin. “I’m going to adopt it.”

“Same here,” Simon says, and then he blushes. “I mean, unless it rips my face off in the next few minutes, but I think this is the one.”

“Do you know which one you have?” Their names and genders were on the cage, but it didn’t specify who was who.

“No idea. I’m going to rename mine anyway though, I didn’t like either of those names.”

“I was planning on doing the same thing. If I’m going to have a pet, it needs to have a proper name befitting its personality. Not something mundane like Fluffy.” I scowl, and he laughs.

As his kitten comes over to touch its nose to my kitten, Simon clears his throat.

“So, um, like she said, they’d probably be happy to have playdates or whatever. I mean, since we’re getting them. And since we keep running into each other. It might make sense to, you know, exchange numbers?”

“Yes!” I say, far too eagerly. “I mean, that seems reasonable. It would be more convenient than waiting to happen upon you in the Waitrose choosing inferior crisps to set up a future meeting.”

He smiles. “Well, yeah, there’s that. And this way, it’ll be easier for me to ask you out, ”

Then the absolute nightmare sits down beside me and hands me his phone. He texts me immediately once I enter my contact info.

Unknown Number (11:27 AM) This is Simon Snow

Unknown Number (11:27 AM) Your cat is cute.

Unknown Number (11:27 AM) So are you

Unknown Number (11:28 AM) Wanna get dinner sometime? ;)

I blush, and send him a reply.

Baz (11:29 AM) I thought you’d never ask.

[crashbandicunttt]

So, I wrote this Borra smut fanfiction upon no one’s behest. lmao. I just love Bolin so much and thought if the writers paired him canonically with Korra, I imagine their energy would be just chaotic in a good way. Plus, that Borra date montage just really has me in a chokehold, especially the way Bolin looks at Korra. let me die. 

FIRST

A Bolin x Korra smut fanfiction. 

E rating. 

Set in a mix of the LoK universe and the modern world. There’s enough context in the story though, I think. You don’t need that much context though, this story is just mostly horny. 

--

“So.” Bolin said, half chuckling. 

“So.” Korra responded in a small voice.

They stayed that way for a little while longer, under the cover together but never touching. 

And to think everything seemed to start off relatively easy. 

— 

The agreement was simple and straightforward, a pact made when Korra was thirteen and Bolin was fourteen: if neither of them gets laid by the time they are eighteen, then they would rather lose their virginities to each other. At the time Bolin admitted it was not his brightest moment. After all, it was at age ten that Bolin first discovered Korra was not only the girl he wanted to hang out with all day during the weekends, but that he wanted to be beside her all the time. He realized he wanted to be with her long before the pact was made. 

If he remembered correctly, the pact was made clumsily and in response to an encounter they should have probably not experienced. 

It was a fateful winter night when the pact was formed. Bolin’s large extended family was home for the holidays, and being that their family was large, every holiday saw their house filled to the brim with people. Bolin beamed with joy, completely in his element interacting with each and every member of his family. Unlike Mako, Bolin was less sullen and enjoyed the company of many as much as he enjoyed the company of his own brother. 

Or Korra, it seemed, who he finally spotted standing with her back flush against the wall closest to the basement door, holding a cup of water in her hand that she was so intently watching. Bolin excused himself to stroll closer to her, ignoring the way his heart pounded so much louder whenever he was around her. 

There was no reason she had to know. 

Holding his cup in his own hand, he waited for her to look up at him and the way she instantly smiled just made him feel all sorts of warm and… funny inside. Only when he got older would he realize what that was, but at the time, he labelled that feeling ‘funny,’ an emotion that made him grin at her. 

She grinned back. “Hi.” 

“Hi,” he responded, clinking his cup against hers, to which she obliged happily. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah. It’s just a lot of people. And I only really know you. And Mako. And your grandmother.” 

That she did, and no matter how many times Bolin introduced her, she seemed to forget them. Bolin supposed that was just the thing about big families. Now, enough movies told him that whisking a girl away to somewhere nice in the middle of a party was the way to go. Only there were no ‘nice’ places in their household, and the cold winter night outside limited their options severely. So Bolin turned to the next best thing: the basement. 

It made sense that Korra would stand in the proximity of the room they hung out in the most. Every Friday like clockwork since they were old enough to understand how to operate the DVD player, Bolin and Korra would sit on the couch in the basement and watch a movie together. Sometimes Mako would join them, but as he grew older, he remained in his room for longer periods and joined Friday basement movie nights only sparingly. 

This time, Mako was bustling about helping their grandmother tend to the guests. Bolin and Korra snuck away to the basement with ease, and when Korra flopped down onto the sofa, she seemed to sigh in relief for the first time all night. Bolin hid a careful smile as he turned to the DVD player. A disk case of their favourite movie sat on top of the DVD player. Bolin figured if there was something that could help Korra’s nervous energy abate, it would be watching something familiar. 

Only, when he sat down and pressed the remote so the disk would be fed into the slot, something completely different materialized on the screen. It was… not their favourite movie, that was for sure. In fact, it didn’t even seem very appropriate at all. Bolin and Korra looked at each other but neither made a move to pop open the DVD player, go back upstairs, and forget this ever happened. Perhaps it was pubescent curiosity that made them stay seated where they were, staring intently at the unfolding events on screen until it finished. Both of them had questions in mind that they did not have the courage to ask each other just yet. Not now that Bolin’s shirt felt too tight and his skin too hot, not now that Korra’s hair seemed to lay much too flat on her forehead, sticking down due to the light sheen of sweat.

“Uhm,” Bolin awkwardly broke the heavy silence first. “So, that was a different, uhm, movie.” 

“That was… Bo, I don’t think that was a movie.” 

“Y-yes it is,” Bolin responded with nervous laughter, tugging at his collar. “Didn’t you see the actors?” 

Korra’s look was puzzled, but she didn’t say anything for a long time after that, and neither did Bolin. The party upstairs continued merrily, and soon, thankfully, Bolin’s body temperature dropped and his shirt no longer felt three sizes too small. 

Well, until Korra decided to attack the awkwardness by saying: “I’m pretty sure that was sex.” 

Bolin couldn’t help but agree. He knew Korra well enough to sense that this specific tone of her voice brokered no argument. Which meant they were venturing into uncharted territory and he had to be careful not to show any signs that, well, he would rather not have this conversation with her because, well, it was simply too awkward to talk about something so intimate in such a casual manner with the person he liked so much. 

He gulped. “Yes. I think so, yes.”

Korra looked thoughtful, her gaze back in her cup of water again. “What do you think it feels like?” 

“Wh—what?”

“Sex,” she asked, unyielding blue eyes now trained at him. Too tight. Tomorrow, he will burn this shirt. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Should it feel bad?” Korra tilted her head. 

Something told Bolin it shouldn’t, but he had the same question in his head while they were watching the video. “I don’t think so,” he said. Of this, at least, he felt sure. He and Mako may not have any parents anymore but he was vaguely aware two people in love also engaged in… well, sex, and that their love meant sex was supposed to feel good. With a full blown blush, he told Korra as much, and she took his information like it was nothing but plain fact rather than fuel to an increasingly uncomfortable conversation. For Bolin, of course, who had never had this conversation with a girl before. With some of his guy friends at school, sure, but never with a girl, much less Korra. 

He drank from his cup as he watched Korra think from the corner of his eyes. Finally, she blinked up at him. 

“You think that will hurt me?” She asked. Bolin choked on his water. Korra was quick to pat his back, which only made it worse. 

“I— uhm,” he cleared his throat. “I don’t know.” 

“You think it will hurt you?” She followed up, unfazed by his discomfort. Spirits, this is the first time he actually regretted going to the basement. It wasn’t supposed to end up like this. He just wanted Korra to feel a little less overwhelmed so that when she goes back up with him to the party, it’ll be easier for her to interact with everyone else. 

“I— I hope not.” He finally croaked out, thumping his chest lightly with his balled fist, willing the discomfort in his throat to melt away. It didn’t, especially not when Korra’s resolute eyes trained on him. This time, he knew a decision was going to follow it and he didn’t exactly know if it would be a good one. He hoped it would be good because Korra sticks to things she wants to do with a fiery passion. 

Korra crossed her legs on the couch and set her cup down on the floor. 

“You said that sex was something that two people who loved each other did.” She explained, almost to herself. “But in the video, they didn’t seem to be happy doing it.”

“Yeah?” Bolin said, setting his own cup down and rubbing his throat from all the coughing. 

“Does that mean she didn’t love him?” 

This conversation was so weird. Bolin had such a vague idea of sex that every question Korra threw at him felt like a trap. Granted, he was one year older than Korra and thus felt like he knew about this whole thing more than her, but he felt like it was still not his place to talk about these things with her. After all, she had her parents.. But the cat was already out of the bag and there didn’t seem to be a way he was going to get Korra to think about anything else until this was finished. 

“I don’t know many things about that but… I guess maybe, they’re not doing it for love.” 

“Why not?” 

“I think because maybe… maybe it doesn’t matter if they love each other.” This was horrible. If only it weren’t so cold outside then maybe he could bend himself a little rock house and promptly die in it. 

“So they’re just having sex?” 

Bolin shrugged, trying to be dismissive about it. “I think so.” 

“Well,” Korra said after a while. “I thought of something.” 

“Okay?” 

“Obviously, when I grow up, I’ll be doing that.”

Bolin winced, feeling entirely responsible for the blunder. She was only a year younger than him and yet he already felt like he’d violated her, even though they didn’t really expect porn to be tonight’s movie. 

“And,” Korra started again, a small smile gracing her lips for the first time since this whole thing started. “Since I already love you, maybe you can be the first person I do that with!” 

Since I already love you. 

He knew she just meant the friendly type of love, he knew this. He did. But it felt so nice, so warm in his heart when she said that, her sincerity clear in her eyes. It was just the other half of her statement that made him blink in disbelief. 

“You want to… what? With— with me?” He asked while placing a hand on his chest. “M—me?” 

“Yeah.” Her smile was blinding, like she hadn’t just said something that started to fry Bolin’s pubescent brain in a hot oil bath of dangerous teenage boy curiosity. 

“Well,” he grappled for an excuse and found one just as quickly. “We can’t, though, because we’re not old enough.” 

Korra considered this, eventually nodding. “Eighteen, then.” 

Bolin gulped. “Eighteen? What do you mean?” Lie, he berated himself. He knew exactly what that meant. And from the looks of it, so did she. 

“We wait until we’re eighteen and then we do it. If we don’t find anyone else to do it with by then.” 

And this was when his famous mistake began: he’d agreed.

He was so sure she’d forget, so sure she’d eventually turn 19 and only think about the time they popped in a porno into the DVD player by accident as something to laugh about as she went on with her life. Thinking this, Bolin had felt it safe to agree with her request. And so, the pact was made. 

Bolin and Korra would lose their virginities to each other if they don’t find any other partner by the time they reach 18. 

—

And like almost every promise she made, she made good on this one, too, showing up at his dorm room door a week after her birthday, after she’d moved into the same school he did for college. 

Fuck, he thought as he let her enter his dorm room. His roommate was out for the night for his weekly DnD habit.

He sighed. Just his luck, then. 

As he closed the door, Korra bounded up to him in a great hug, and Bolin caught her, encircling his thick arms around her. When she pulled away, she punched his arm. 

“Ow, Korra!” He admonished, rubbing the spot. “When did you get such a mean right hook?” 

“Training to be the Avatar, of course! I also came because I promised I would beat you in an arm-wrestling match one day, didn’t I? Prepare to be defeated!” She exclaimed, before Bolin moved to hush her on account of the other sleeping students on the floor. Korra apologized in an instant, smiling sheepishly at her antics. 

There was that funny feeling in the pit of Bolin’s stomach again. And it just intensified when she settled on his single bed, deftly taking off her boots and kicking it to the side. She spotted a folding table off to the side, leaning beside the window. She pulled it close, placing it in front of Bolin’s bed before pointing to a spare chair near the door that was piled high with laundry. 

“Come on, pull that seat over here and fight me like a man!” She said, sending Bolin laughing. 

“You’re on, lady! I’ll show you what a man looks like!” He retorted, speaking loud enough for effect but quiet enough so as not to disturb everyone else on the floor. 

This was good. Good. She came here for a different promise. He might just be able to get out of this. With a flourish, he sat down on his seat and flexed his arm, placing his elbow on the table in preparation for their battle. Realizing he had been topless all this time, he felt a little subconscious, looking at Korra and then scooching his seat just a little close to his bed so he could reach for his tank. 

Korra waved her hand dismissively. “Hey, Bo, relax, it’s just me.” 

“Oh, okay,” he retreated to his seat, positioning his arm on the table. “Let’s go, little lady,” he said, grinning when she fit her hand easily into his own. Bolin reminded himself that this was an arm-wrestling rematch and willed himself not to dwell on the thought that her hand in his just felt so… perfect. So, so perfect. 

Soon, she was exerting effort into her hand, her teeth gritted as she pushed against Bolin’s grip. 

“Not to brag but I was born to have a tighter grip, Korra. It’s an earthbender thing.” 

Korra scoffed. “No it’s not, and that’s definitely a brag. Don’t forget I’m the Avatar.” 

Bolin laughed, and it felt just like old times. “You still weren’t born an earthbender, unfortunately. But fortunately, our established friendship means you can request for me to go easy on you. See that? I used unfortunately and fortunately together. Neat, huh?”

“Ha! No way, Bo! I didn’t practice all that time for nothing,” she responded, and Bolin was surprised to find his hand was actually giving. 

“Okay, whoa,” he said, unable to help it. “Okay, that’s impressive. But not more than this!” 

With the strength of the right half of his body, he pressed tighter against her hand, determined to give her the fight she deserved. A light sheen of sweat beaded on her brow and it was more alarmingly… attractive than it needed to be. Korra’s hand started to give this time, but with a tight groan, she was able to summon up enough strength to slam Bolin’s hand in defeat. 

“Ah, what! No fair! Did you go into the Avatar State just then? That’s illegal, you know.” Bolin protested, comically crossing his arms. Korra’s eyes flitted to his bunched biceps just then, and unbidden, Bolin arched a curious brow. Interesting.

“No, I didn’t,” Korra coughed into her hand before momentarily turning her head to look around the room. 

He’ll let that slide. For now. “I could have sworn I saw some glowing! Explain yourself!” He protested, proceeding as normal. 

“I have nothing to explain!” She replied, standing up abruptly. They stared at each other, squinting for only a split second and for a split second, Bolin thought she was going to storm out out of embarrassment. Luckily, they’d just ended up laughing together. Korra closed the distance between them to hug him again, and Bolin was all too happy to return her tight embrace. 

“It’s so nice to see you, Bo. I really missed you!” 

“No, I missed you!” Bolin said, pouting at her. She poked at his cheek intending to kiss it when just at that moment, Bolin turned his head. 

The kiss landed on his lip. 

A million thoughts rushed through Bolin’s brain in that moment, the most prominent being ‘put as much distance between you and Korra,’ and ‘never let her go.’ It didn’t help that these two thoughts fought each other in his head, rendering him immobile after the soft smack of her lips. It was a tiny thing, he barely tasted her, but his body singed for more. And it did this so because it also knew what day it was, how old they both were. 

It knew of the pact. 

Bolin swallowed; Korra caught it. Eventually, they broke apart, both feeling flustered. Bolin resolved to find solace away from his room, which now felt entirely stuffy. 

“I— uh, need to get something, uh, outside. You can, uh, stay here!” Bolin swung the door open hastily, but stopped when Korra said, “Wait.” 

Don’t fight it, you’ve always loved her, his heart screamed at him. But his brain told him this wasn’t what he had in mind. Korra deserved to be worshipped in, maybe, silken sheets or something, not in his cramped dorm room. 

“Bolin, please look at me.” She pleaded, and when Bolin turned back to look at her, he wished he wasn’t wearing gray sweats to bed tonight. He could hide nothing in the thing. 

Desperate for a distraction, Bolin thought about many other things. All the things, if it meant he could calm down his wildly beating heart in front of her. He stood stock still, shoulders tensed and hunched inward. 

“You know why I came here, don’t you?” She asked, stepping slowly towards him and just when Bolin thought she was too close, she reached behind him to close the door. The lamp was usually enough light for him, but with her here, it seemed to shrink back at her brilliance. 

Bolin closed his eyes, worried that if he doesn’t, he might just lose himself staring into her eyes. So close. What was only seconds felt like ages before Bolin felt Korra’s careful breath against his cheek. So close. He resisted the urge to bite his lip. 

With a shaky smile, he quipped, “H— hi, Korra. It feels so nice to be close friends with you.” How he could still manage a joke right now is beyond him, especially when earlier they had already accidentally kissed and even that nearly sent him into cardiac arrest. Korra’s hushed laughter at the joke made his shoulders relax just a little, before her next words made him tense up anew. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

Bolin’s been hit by a heavy rock to the chest before, but all his training built up his resistance over time. But this… this was a hit to his heart. His breath hitched, unbidden, and he braved one eye open to look at… exactly how close she was. Much too close. 

“Korra, I—“ 

“Can I at least touch you?” 

“Korra—“

She reached tentative fingers into his jet black hair, and the small shiver that shot down his spine made his mouth run dry. That was just a hair-touch! His body is betraying him! She’ll definitely see the effect she has on him if she just looked down. Please don’t look down. Please don’t look down. 

“Is this okay?” 

“Y-yes,” His mind screamed. But then Korra stopped touching his hair. 

“Yeah?” She asked. 

Bolin brought up a hand tentatively just to facepalm. “I— I said that out loud, didn’t I?” 

“Yes you did.” 

“I’m such an idiot,” he mumbled. 

“You are,” she agreed. 

Bolin raised a brow at her. “Hey!” 

Korra chuckled, which served to take away some more of the tight tension in his body. He was still on guard, though, making small steps backward to put some distance between them. But Korra easily caught on to what he was doing. She inhaled deeply and steeled her face into an unreadable expression. Oh no, no. 

“If you didn’t want me to be here then maybe you should have just told me! God, I feel like an idiot!” She groaned, shoving past him to get to the door. No, no, Bolin thought. He has to fix this. 

“Korra wait—!” He exclaimed, wrapping his fingers around her wrist just before she reached the doorknob. 

“What?” She snapped, and when she whirled her head towards him, he saw her eyes were watering. Oh, Korra. 

“I— can we just talk about it first? Yeah?” 

“What’s there to talk about?! When you obviously don’t want me here!” 

“Korra, listen— just listen to me.” He pleaded, ignoring his brain’s call to be careful when touching her. That was always a slippery slope. Especially now when they’re in a room together, about to discuss a five-year-old pact Korra never forgot about. “Come here.” He said, loosening his grip on her wrist and holding her hand. He tugged her closer to his bed and settled on the floor in front of her when she finally sat down on his covers. 

Bolin took a deep breath. “First of all, I missed you, too, in case that part wasn’t clear. What with all the… you know, this going on. Heh. And second of all, well, I didn’t really…” 

Oh man. This was so hard. Korra stared at him, waiting for his answer.  

Bolin cleared his throat, scratching the back of his head and shifting his gaze away. “I didn’t really want our first time to be just here. In my dorm room. You deserve something special, you know! It’s just all a surprise, is all.” 

A beat. “So you do want to have sex with me?” 

Oh. 

Well. He walked into that one.

Bolin swallowed and his answer came in a squeak. “Y—yes.”

Korra bit her lip and it took everything in Bolin’s body not to physically react to that. He remembered the accidental smack from earlier, how soft her lips were. 

“I don’t really care where we are.” She finally said, settling on the floor, too, in the space between him and the bed. “As long as I’m with you.” 

Fuck. “T—thank you, Korra. I appreciate that.” 

“So… do you want to do it?” She pressed, moving an inch closer on her hands and knees. This time it was his turn to bite his lip. 

He turned the offer around in his head, willing his heart and… nether regions to calm down. If he did this, there was no going back. Something would change and it will never be the same between them. What he couldn’t figure out was whether or not that was a bad thing. 

He finally looked at her, really looked at her. “I’m not going to wiggle out of this one, aren’t I?” 

“Unfortunately, no,” she said with a cheeky grin. 

Sighing, he replied. “Alright, then, oh Miss Avatar, I am your willing participant. But please, do come back to bed. It’s much more comfy there.” 

Korra smiled a bright smile, happily settling on his bed. He followed after her, all too aware of her proximity now. She didn’t seem to be as nervous as he was, which made sense to him because even though he knew she didn’t expect him to, he had already put himself under the pressure of making this feel good for her. 

“Alright so what now?” She enquired, bright blue eyes glinting with mischief and… something else. Bolin tried to think. One of them had to be level-headed around here, which was rapidly becoming hard to do when his body was already heating up at the prospect of the pact. 

He stretched his legs out and patted his lap. “Sit on me.” He said, and the resulting flush on Korra’s face made him swallow. Doing great so far, Bolin, doing great. 

She followed his command, sitting just a hair’s breadth away from where he was already at half-mast. Bolin tentatively put his hands on either side of her thighs, silent watchful stare asking for her permission. She placed two hands on his shoulder before nodding, prompting Bolin to slide her closer and fit her against his chest so she was sitting directly on top of his groin. His next exhales became hotter, as he pressed his forehead against her chin. She too was affected by his closeness, her thighs clenching ever so slightly, almost imperceptible. 

“Korra, if we do this, I want you to tell me exactly when I’m making you feel uncomfortable, okay? If you tell me to stop, I will, immediately.” He assured, absently drawing circles on her thighs. She nodded, adjusting herself on his lap. He hissed when she did and she looked at him in a panic. 

“Oh, no. Are you okay?”

With his voice strained, he replied, “I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s just I’m very hard right now.” 

They both fell silent enough that they could hear each other breathe. Slowly, tentatively, Bolin saw Korra move her hips again, grinding down his erection. His grip on her thigh tightened as he groaned. “Korra.”

“Yes?” But she kept going, slowly and then with more confidence, causing Bolin’s breath to escape him in hot bursts against her neck. 

“Korra— s—slow down,” he pleaded in jagged breaths. He wanted this so bad but it was moving too fast. He placed his hand on her hips so he could manually stop her and Korra gave a whimper when he did. The sound made his cock twitch. He took a deep breath to steady himself before looking up at her face. She was flushed, no doubt the same way he was. He wanted this to last a bit longer, a bit more. If this was going to be just the fulfillment of a pact and nothing else then he was going to draw it out and worship her and then burn this memory in his mind if this was the first and last time he was going to do this.

“Okay, just an update,” he said, breathing labored. “So, I’m hard as a rock under there and you’re… much more, uh, willing than I thought you were going to be. You know, for a virgin.” 

Korra crossed her arms, shooting him a challenging glare. “For a virgin.” 

“For a virg— yes. That’s not a bad thing, though! It’s just— I want to make this feel good for you. You deserve it.” If his voice quieted at that last sentence, he didn’t notice. He smoothed his hands up to the small of her back, pressing a thumb against the part of her waist he knew was ticklish. A bubble of laughter escaped her lips and before he knew it, she was kissing him. 

Korra. 

Korra was kissing him. 

It was messy. She was inexperienced after all. But so was he. So it was a strange mix of wet, slippery, and teethy but neither of them cared. They just kept kissing until it felt right, and after Bolin found tilting his head a little was easier for both of them, he continued to kiss her fervently. Her arms snaked back around his neck as her chest pressed close to his. He groaned at the contact, pushing his tongue past the seam of her lips to taste her. She’d had something to drink before coming here, something fruity. Bolin smiled against her lips, savoring the taste and feel of her. Soon, she was grinding down his cock again, breaking apart for air and throwing her head back when Bolin latched onto her neck to mark her with fiery hot kisses. 

“Bolin,” she sighed to the room and he pulled her closer at the sound. 

Maybe he’d died. That’s right; he’d died and even in heaven was tormented by the delicious feeling of having Korra so close, tasting her, feeling her, loving her. That last part he didn’t think he’d say but it was there. He did love her. Even before all this began. He still loves her. 

She shuddered when he started suckling on the skin of her neck, urged by a need to mark her in some way. To put something on her body that reminded them both what had transpired here. His wandering hands reached underneath her tight blue tank, the one she loved to wear so much ever since she grew those muscles he loved so much. He pressed his mouth on top of her tank where he knew underneath sat her breasts and she trembled some more, moaning in heated pants. Bolin smoothed his hands up her back, making sure to touch her feverish skin as he peeled the tank off of her and let go of her clothed breasts. He chucked it somewhere in the room, forgotten momentarily, to pay attention to her sarashi wraps next, the only barrier between him and his prize. 

Korra was looked almost shy as he drank the sight of her, topless, and he knew this was because she had not been naked with anyone before. Bolin’s heart swelled at the thought of being the first to see her like this, his forever best friend and the now, as ever, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. 

He kissed her cheek when the last of the wraps finally fell to the floor. “Good?” He asked, pressing the word against her chest where he planted a small kiss. 

Korra swallowed and then muttered, “Yeah.” 

“Tell me how you feel.” He asked almost automatically, and he was struck with how smooth and even his voice was. He’d thought he would be too anxious for this but when it came down to it, he was more sure about this than he ever was in any other thing in his life. 

Korra’s fingers found the curls on the back of his head before she pressed her forehead against his for another passionate kiss. Breaking away momentarily, she whispered, “I’m feeling good.” 

“Good,” he replied, grinning and slowly tracing her nipples, budded now and very eager. Her moan was long and drawn out when he finally took one of her nipples in his mouth, languidly caressing the other one with his hand. 

“Oh, Bolin,” she hummed, bucking her hips against his straining cock. He gripped her hips at the contact, grinding her down himself. It was too much, much too much, but his brain still screamed for more. He nipped at her breast and sucked like it was his last meal. And when he licked from one breast to another with his tongue flat against her skin, Korra’s fingers tightened in his hair, hard enough to hurt — he didn’t care. On her chest he left marks, too, and she was only too happy to have them. 

Bleary-eyed, he lifted his head up to meet her eyes again, one hand still showering attention to one of her breasts. “You look so beautiful.” He breathed out, kissing the corner of her lips. “And you feel so good.” 

Korra looked at him in a daze, too, breath hot and fast against his face. “You’re not so bad yourself.” 

And despite their current steamy interaction, they couldn’t help but laugh. There was something so easy about this whole thing, something that went beyond sex and Bolin knew it was their friendship, but he also knew it was about love. His love. He could not say the same for Korra. 

“Feeling good?” He finally said, burying his face in between her breasts and exhaling. If she moved unceremoniously now, he might just paint his sweatpants white on the spot. That small moment of laughter seemed much more effective in tipping him over the edge than the half hour they already spent on kissing and fondling. 

You’ve got it bad, Bolin. So bad. 

Korra nodded, reaching a hand down into her pants before Bolin could think. 

Fuck, this was real. It’s getting very real now.

Wordlessly, he watched intently as she slid a hand into her waistband. He drew circles on her clothed thighs, his chest feeling tight and his cock feeling ready to burst. Fuck, no. No. Not now. 

Before he could do anything about it, he spilled into his sweatpants the exact moment Korra moaned so deliciously as her fingers slipped inside her pussy. No, he’d ruined it. Out of shame, he bit his lip and thrust small upward strokes despite himself. He couldn’t control it. It was too much. Korra stopped when she noticed, slipping her finger out of her entrance and placing her hand back up on his shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry, I— Korra, I ruined this.”

“Shh, it’s okay, Bolin. We have all night.” 

“A—all night?” 

“Well, if—if you want to, of course—“ 

Bolin was sure he’d stopped breathing at some point. And if he thought he’d been dead before, he was sure now that he really had died. There was no way any of this is real, no way Korra wanted to spend all night with him having… 

He gulped. “But I already came.” 

“You will again.” She said with a smile, climbing off of him to position herself on the other side of the bed, her legs falling open before him. 

You will again, a statement hotter than it had any right to be. A statement that seemed to linger far longer even as she started to take off her pants beside him, still frozen in place at what she said. 

Wait. Pants? 

“Korra, are you sure?” His cock twitched again even in its flaccid state, highly interested in the way she was currently wiggling her hips out of her pants. When it was finally off, he just sat there, watching her legs fall open to reveal all of her. The air felt too thick, like the only way to breath was to swallow. Korra watched his Adam's apple bob consistently before taking her fingers slowly down and tracing between her folds. There was gathering wetness there and Bolin could see it, he couldn’t stop seeing it. He thought maybe he never will. The room was quiet enough that he could hear the way the slick coated her folds. After what felt like forever, she finally plunged a finger back inside and released a groan that was identical to his own. His cock was back and ready for more. And yet he sat there, patiently, cock painfully straining, transfixed by the way she was moving her fingers. In, out. In, out. 

But then she stopped. And then she covered her face before releasing a disjointed sigh. 

With furrowed brows, he placed a reassuring hand on the side of her thigh, growing increasingly worried when her disappointed whimpers increased. 

“Hey, hey, Korra, are you okay?” In a flash, he was on the floor, kneeling beside her on the bed and kissing her sweaty forehead just because he could. “Talk to me.” 

“This always happens.” 

“What always happens?” 

“I start off and I think I’m wet enough when I’m actually not.” This time she turned around, pressing her chest against the bed and burying her face into his pillow. It took every ounce of willpower in Bolin not to touch her in that moment. A beautiful, naked woman was in his bed. And not just any beautiful, naked woman, no, Korra. 

“What can I do to help? I’m very helpful, you know. Do you want some tea? Or like, maybe a hug?” 

Frustrated, she groaned some more. 

“Okay, okay. I’m just going to, uh, get in bed with you here but I’m going to give you a little bit of space for now, alright? I’m here for you, Korra, really,” and he meant it with all his heart. More than she will ever know. “And besides,” he began, gently encasing them in his blanket and kissing her hair. “I pretty much finished waaay too early for this whole thing so I don’t want to judge you for your uh, drought.” He grimaced when she groaned at the word choice. “I meant your situation! Your situation! Oh, that’s not any better is it?” 

A pause and Korra was chuckling into his pillow. After what seemed like forever, she turned around, pulling the blanket up to her chest to cover herself. With one hand, she pulled her ponytail out and stared at the ceiling. 

“So.” Bolin said, half chuckling. 

“So.” Korra responded in a small voice.

They stayed that way for a little while longer, under the cover together but never touching. Bolin hummed a tune as the seconds dragged on before Korra spoke again. 

“Do you think I’m naïve, Bo?” She asked. 

“What? No, of course not.” He responded all too quickly, worried as to where this is coming from. “Why would you say that?” 

She turned to him and he propped himself up with his hand against his cheek. If he noticed how Korra eyes shifted to the way his biceps moved, he didn’t mention it. She took a deep breath. “Because I came here thinking I can do this. Only for me to… lose interest just when it was getting good.” 

He’d read about this before somewhere, and he was pretty sure it didn’t expressly mean losing interest. “I don’t think that’s it.” He said, tentatively reaching a hand to stroke her hair. She looked at him, blue eyes meeting green, before shifting just a little bit closer so he could do what he wanted. Even her hair was soft. 

“Then what is it?” She asked. 

“I think you just need more… stimulation.” 

She groaned again. “What more stimulation do I need? I’d already touched myself before coming here and it still wasn’t enough.” 

His hand stilled. “You touched yourself? Before coming here?” 

“Uhm, yeah.” She replied, making herself smaller. 

“What did you think about?” 

“What?”

He propped himself up on both arms now, angling himself just right so she could see both his arms flex. Her curious little eye flutter made him feel… sexy. 

“What did you think about, Korra? Before you came here and decided to rock my world.” 

“Pfft, rock your world. That’s two rock puns now, Bo,” she snickered. Bolin pouted. 

“Hey that was a legitimate thing you did, grinding down on me like that.” 

“Okay,” she conceded. He wanted to kiss her again. So he did. And she kissed him back with ease, like it was the most natural thing in the world. “Well, I thought about this moment, really. I’ve actually been thinking about it since I— what are you doing?” She asked, watching Bolin leave her side to kneel in front of his bed. 

“I have an idea. Just keep talking. You were saying?” 

“Okay, well, so uhm, I’ve just been thinking about this moment since I moved in a week ago.” Just then, Bolin lifted the blanket off her feet and slid her gently sideways so her feet were dangling over the edge. He watched her swallow, watched as she lifted herself up gingerly to look at him. 

“Wh—what are you doing?” 

“Listening to your story.” He simply replied, hiking the blanket up just above her knee before planting a kiss there. “You were saying?” 

“But th—that’s it,” she sighed when he ran his finger slowly on the inside of her thighs. 

“Oh?” He made sure to breathe out the word against her thigh, letting his breath fan out against her skin. He watched as she threw her head back. 

“Bolin, what—“ 

“Do you trust me?” His voice was much lower now and because of his earlier release, this time around he felt more in control. It helped that Korra was so pliant in his hands, so responsive even though he hasn’t even put his lips on her just yet. Good idea, he thought. “Tell me, Korra. Tell me you trust me?” 

Bolin never really thought of himself as particularly… skilled in the art of oozing sex just by his words. But he felt now, maybe he was wrong, as he watched Korra nod eagerly. “I trust you,” she said, voice tight. 

“Good girl,” he replied, almost unaware of it. “I’m going to eat your pussy out, okay? Now, it’s gonna feel weird but I read somewhere this helps with the dryness.” 

Korra blushed again. “Do you have to bring it up again?” She said, irritated. Playfully, he nudged his nose against the downy curls of her sex, blowing air onto her folds. She yelped, clenching the blanket in a white-knuckled grip. 

“I’ll bring it up when I want to.” He pressed, remembering that lesson in female anatomy he taught himself. “Tell me what you like, okay? If you don’t, I will stop.” 

Bolin continued to run his nose in her downy curls but when she remained wordlessly panting, he lifted his head. She blearily stared at his face, a questioning look flashing on her face. “What—“ 

“Tell me what you like,” he insisted, pulling her legs closer and hooking it over his broad shoulders. The smell of her sex this close felt exhilarating, like he wanted to drown in it. “Won’t you, Korra?” He asked, licking a small stripe up against her folds with the tip of his tongue. She arched her back nearly off the bed, mewling and babbling. 

“Korra, answer me.” 

“Yes! Yes, I’ll— I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you, Bo. Please.” 

“Please what?” 

“P-please that, uhm, lick me again.” 

Bolin was more than happy to oblige, settling ever closer, only ever closer, so close that he can press the flat of his tongue against her folds completely, licking very slowly from her entrance up to the little bud of nerves on top. Korra cursed, the first time he’d heard her do so. It was sinful. The way she just said fuck followed by his own name. Motivated, he pressed his face closer, continuing to lick, tasting her at each pass. His cock twitched with renewed interest and he ignored it only until he couldn’t, palming himself. 

When he opened his eyes, he saw her watching, mouth agape and blue eyes glazed. Fuck. He wanted to stay here. In between her legs. Just eating her out. Forever. Eventually, she became antsy, and Bolin saw in her face she wanted to say something. 

“Something on your mind, Korra?” 

“I— p— please do the licking with something e— else…” 

“Like?” He asked, almost innocently, even as his lips and chin glistened with her wetness. As if in suggestion, he probed at her opening with a thick finger. 

“That! That’s—“ 

“Oh, this?” He asked, running his finger down her wet folds and then pushing it inside agonizingly slowly. Korra’s hips bucked into his hand but he steadied his finger, stopping and kissing her inner thigh. “Tell me, Korra. Tell me you want me to fuck you with my fingers.” 

He was gone. Gone. All coherent thought replaced by giving her whatever it was she wanted. 

“I— please f—fuck me with your fingers…” 

With a pleased rumble from within his throat, he gently pulled his fingers in and out and as he sucked his own finger and watched her breathe much more heavily at the sight, they knew that she was finally wet enough. 

Bolin slipped another finger on the next pass, testing how open she already was, and she welcomed him easily, just as he dove back in to flick her clit with his tongue. Korra wailed, hands flying up to his hair and fucking up into his face. Underneath, his cock was straining so hard but he didn’t care, palming mindlessly. Korra was coming or he was going to stay here until she did. Or maybe even after that just to lap her up.

“You like that? On your clit?” He asked, giving a flat lick that covered the entire bundle. 

“Fuck, ah, yes, Bolin. Oh, yes.” He focused his attention on the bundle, following the tantalizing tug of her fingers in his hair. He groaned each time she did, and the vibration of the sound seemed to increase the intensity of her moans. 

“Right there,” she babbled over and over again as he hit a spot inside her with his fingers. “Oh, just stay there, ah.” 

Inspired by another naughty idea, Bolin lifted his head from her opening, breathing harshly against her sex. “Listen to me.” He began, kissing her thighs to get her attention. “I’m going to eat you out until you scream, until you come. And then when I drink you up, I’ll fuck you with my cock. Is that okay?” 

“B—but, I’ve already come by then,” she looked concerned, but he’d read about this before. Multiple orgasms. 

“You will again.” 

She recognized the quip as her own and couldn’t help but crack a smile. But she still looked worried. “A—are you su—sure? What if I don’t c—come?” 

“You will. I’ll make sure of it.” Without another word, he moved his fingers in and out of her at a much faster rate than before, all while swirling his tongue around her clit. Korra panted so harshly at his attentions, as though she was drowning in desire. Bolin already was. He wanted to drown in her cunt forever. It was not long after that that her thighs clamped on either side of his head. He could die here for all he cared. It’ll be a lovely death. Though cramped, he moaned into her pussy, curling his fingers to hit that spot inside her that made her gasp and moan loudly. If he was concerned about his neighbours before, he wasn’t now. Let them hear. 

It didn’t take long for Korra to reach climax, her whole body trembling violently at the force of it. Between her clenched thighs, Bolin caught every last drop on his tongue, giving her folds a final kiss before finally standing back up. 

She was a vision. Not even in his wildest wet dreams did he imagine how beautiful and utterly ruined Korra looked like on his own bed right now. Her hair haloed around her face and her mouth open, her lips swollen from how much she was biting them. The quick rise and fall of her chest made her breasts look all the more lovely, and her lax and shaking legs made his head spin. 

I made Korra come. I, Bolin, made her come. 

“C—come here, p—please, Bolin.” She reached her hand out weakly, and in an instant, Bolin was on her. 

“So,” he kissed her cheek, positioning himself on top of her and pressing his erection between her legs. “How’d that feel?” 

“So good. I thought you were a virgin.” 

“I am. Well, sort of.” 

Korra raised a brow. 

“Well, I am a virgin. I’ve never gone all the way. But I’ve eaten pussy before.” But never like this, never this delicious, never this good, he wanted to say. Never you. “This… this felt different.” He admitted, which was not a lie. He hid in the crook of her neck. “Your pussy? Heaven.” 

Korra chuckled. “Liar.” 

“It’s true!” He chuckled with her, kissing up to her ear. Not knowing she was sensitive there, he felt her hips buck up again. He chuckled darkly. “Excited, aren’t we?” 

She tried to protest but he was already sucking and kissing at her neck. 

“Bolin,” she moaned, long and deep. 

“This is the part,” kiss, “where I fuck you again,” kiss, “with my cock this time,” kiss, “tell me to stop and I will,” kiss, “I’ll do anything for you.”

It hurt his heart how much he meant that last part. He pressed his forehead against hers, his eyes searching. He did nothing else, waiting for her response. He didn’t even move, his arms having no problem holding him up. Korra stared at him for what felt like forever until he felt her wrapping her legs around his lower back. Bolin took a shuddering breath, closing his eyes to quell the irresistible urge to just thrust. 

“Tell me,” he pleaded again. “Tell me you want me to fuck you.” 

Korra looked at him, panting softly against his lips. She kissed him. “Fuck me, Bolin.” 

It was like a switch had been turned on in his brain, like her words wiped away every rational thought in his head so that all he could think about was going back into her wet heat. With hurried hands, he shucked his sweats off and pounced right back on top of her, loving how slick and open she was now to his stiff cock. Still, he pushed slowly, watching her face intently at each delicious inch that sank in. Satisfied, he made the final push to bottom out, the tight, wet heat around him nearly making him lose his mind. How would he ever exist after this? After experiencing Korra like this? 

Bolin planted a wet kiss against her temple. “Is this okay?” He asked, pulling back slightly to slide back in gently. Korra’s legs around his lower back tightened and he grit his teeth so hard at the sensation. 

“Yes. Yes,” she panted, bringing Bolin’s face closer and kissing him greedily. Slowly and then a little faster, Bolin pulled out and slid in until she was open enough to take all of him in each stroke. Each push inside made him see stars and it took everything in him not to blow his load right then and there. It was just too good. 

“Korra,” he moaned against her lips, watching with half-lidded eyes as her breasts bounced with each thrust. “Fuck, Korra. You drive me insane.” 

“Bolin,” she babbled his name over and over again. “Faster.” 

“What was that?” He said through broken gasps. 

“Faster!” 

“What?” 

“Faster! Please Bolin!” She clamped down on her bottom lip, staring intently into his eyes as he neared the delicious edge of his orgasm. He could feel she was close too, but he was determined for this to be about her. Only her. 

“Come for me, Korra, please?” He muttered against her lips, capturing her in a bruising kiss. As the sinful sounds left her lips in staccato, Bolin continued on with his relentless pace, feeling her whole body shake as she neared her own orgasm. 

“Yes, yes, yes, Bolin!” She all but shouted when she came, throwing her head back and arching her whole body underneath him. Shortly after he let go, too, seeing spots and hearing his own ragged rasps echo in his head. He bucked gently as he emptied in her, shivering when he was all spent. He collapsed on top of her, admiring the modest peak of one of her breasts, blissed out and too pleased to think about anything other than Korra. He kissed the side of her breast lazily, running a finger on her raised nipple. Korra flinched, feeling oversensitive. 

When she didn’t say anything for a long time, Bolin grew worried. But when he lifted his head to look at her, her eyes twinkled with mischief. 

“Is there any chance we can do that again?” 

Bolin’s breath caught in his throat again. How could he ever deny her? He couldn’t even wiggle out of this silly pact. Grinning, he kissed her and his heart sang at how eagerly she kissed him back. 

When they broke apart, he said, “Could you at least bring me flowers next time? A man wants romance too, you know.” 

Korra laughed. “Sure thing.” 

--

If you want to read it over on AO3, here’s the link. :D

[popculturebuffet]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1990 Review: Still Possesses Turtle Power After All These Years

Cowabunga all you happy people! I freaking love the Teenage Ninja Turtles. I grew up with it from Turtles in Time, which was my first video game, to the 2003 cartoon, which I covered the first three episodes of last month, and on to present day as I re-read the idw comics after finally reading the original eastman and laird run of mirage, and impatiently waiting for Shredder’s Revenge to come out after a LONG drout of no good TMNT games. I”m a fan of these heroes four, their dynamic as a family, the endless possiblities that come from it’s long history and ablitlity to go anywhere in any genre, and the wonderful goofy shit that happens when you have a franchise about mutant turtles learning ninjitsu from a rat and fighting a dude covered in knife covered samurai armor. 

So with me finally covering the guys after almost a year last month and with a new movie set to debut at some point this year, I had the bright idea to revisit the FIRST TMNT movie after way too many years of not watching it. This movie is anear and dear to my heart: When I first started getting into the boys big as a kid with the 2003 cartoon, I badly wanted more turtles. But back then it wasn’t nearly as easy to glom onto some more of the sewer shock pizza kings: Streaming sites with all the cartoons on them weren’t all that accesable, dvd’s were expensive for the 87 cartoon, Mirage wasn’t reprinting the comics in any meaningful way and my local comic shop didn’t have any at all and I could only play the SNES when my brother had it set up on occasion like at our Grandma’s farm. 

As you probably guessed though there was one exception: the original 1990 movie, which I got at Walmart for 5 bucks and haven’t let go of since. It was one of my first dvds and is still one of my most precious. Said film hit the spot just right as like my beloved 2003 series, it was a mildly goofy but still fucking cool adaptation that stuck closer to the mirage comics, even more than the 2003 series would, while taking a few queues from the 87 series. This film is as precious to me as the 2003 series and a with a brand new movie coming up, I figured it was the exact right time to dig into this classic: what makes it still good to this day, what’s fun to point and laugh at, and how the heck Jim Henson got involved in this. So join me under the cut as I take a look at my boys first theatrical outing and why I still love watching a turtle. 

No One Wanted To Make This: Before we get into the film itself some background. As usual I struggled a bit, but thankfully found some help in the form of this Hollywood Reporter article.  It’s a fascinating read worth your time, providing an oral history of the film from the people who worked on it. 

The film was the baby of Gary Propper, a surfer dude and road manager for the prop comic Gallagher, aka that guy who used to smash watermelons but now has instead opted to smash what little’s left of his career by being a homophobic douchenozzle. He found an ally in Showtime producer Kim Dawson who’d produced Gallagher’s special. I don’t think there will be more of an 80′s sentence than “Gallagher’s surfer dude agent wanted to make a teenage mutant ninja turtles movie”. Propper was a huge fan of the comics, and with Dawson’s help convinced Laird and Eastman to let them option it to studios. 

It may come as a shock to you but the road agent for a homophobic watermelon man and a producer at a niche cable channel wanting to make a movie based on an underground comic book about masked turtles at a time when the two most recent comic book movies were Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and Howard the Duck, did not go well. Every door in Hollywood got slammed in their face, even Fox> Even the eventual backer of the film, Golden Harvest, a hong kong action film studio, took months to convince to actually back the film. 

Things did not get easier from there: The films writer Bobby Herbeck had trouble getting a story agreed on because Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s working relationship had deteroiated horribly from the stress so naturally the two could not agree on a damn thing and argued with each other. Peter Laird  made a tense siutation even worse by constnatly sniping at Herbeck and feeling he was a “Hollywood outsider infringing on his vision and characters”

Granted the script was apparently not great... but Pete still comes off as a pretnetious ass who views his weird indie comic as THE HIGHEST OF HIGH CALLINGS HOW DARE YOU SOIL IT. And continued to be kind of a prick like this throughout the rest of his time with the property. 

Thankfully the film found i’ts voice, vision and director in Steve Barron. Barron was a music video guy who knew the producers and while reluctant, eventually dove into the project rightfully thinking the film would need to be a mix of the mirage comics and 87 cartoon, keeping aprils’ reporter job, the turtles lvoe of pizza and their iconic color coding from the cartoon but adapting several stories from the comics as the backbone of the film. The guys liked barron MUCH better and things ran smoother. 

Barron also brought in one of the film’s biggest selling points and it’s most valuable asset: it’s triumphantly awesome Jim Henson costumes. Barron had worked with good old Jim on the music videos for Labyrinth, and while it took some convincing since the comics were violent as hell and that wasn’t Jim’s style, Barron eventually got him on board. This naturally doubled the budget, but given Henson’s costumes STILL hold up today and look better than the cgi used in the platinum dunes films... it was a good call. And this was brand new tech for jim, having to invent tons of new ideas and mechanisms just to make the things work, and said things still were absolute hell on the actors. Jim later ended up not liking the film for being too violent... which I find hilarious given how many muppets got eaten or blowed up real good on his show but regardless, I thank this legendary and wonderful man as without him this film WOULD NOT have worked. The costumes here look great, feel realistic, and you can’t tell the actors were dubbed much less horribly suffering in those suits. Much like Disney Land. 

The film would get picked up for distribution by New Line, and despite i’ts weird as hell origins and the long shot it had.. the film was a MASSIVE hit at the box office, owing to a combination of Batman 89 the previous year having proved comic book movies can work for audiences, the cartoon’s runaway sucess, and a massive marketing campaign. The film made it’s mark. So now we know how we got here let’s get into the film itself. 

What’s the Story Morning Glory?:

So the story for this one is largely cobbled together from some of the more notable arcs Eastman and Laird did before handing off the book to others full time as the stress of the company and the mounting tension with each other made it near impossible to work together on the book itself. 

To Save time i’m just going through what hte movie takes from the comics plot wise now to save me the trouble later:The movie takes elements from the first issue (The Turtles, Splinter and Shredder’s backstories, Shredder being fully human and the main antagonist, Shredder’s design and the final rooftop showdown that results in Shredder’s death), second and third, (April’s apartment over her dad’s old store and the turtles moving in when their home is ransacked and splinter has gone missing), the rapheal micro series (A tounge in cheek way of cashing in on the Mini-Series craze of the 80s, a one shot by modern standards and something that’s tragically been underused as an idea as only TMNT and MLP have used the idea at IDW, Raph meeting casey and their fight with one another), the return of shredder arc (One of the turtles being ambushed and mobbed by the foot and then thrown though a sky light (Leo in the comic and Raph here), the turtles being horribly outnumbered by them, Casey coming ot the rescue and metting the non-raph turtles for the first time, and them being forced to escape when the place goes up in flames), their exile to northampton (April writing in a journal, casey working on a car with one of the guys and one of hte guys looking over hteir injured brother), and finally, their triumphant return which was very loosely adapted as there are no deformed shredder clones and shredder not being dead yet in this version was not brought back by a colony of super science worms. 

So as for how this all comes together: Our story takes place in New York: A crimewave is high with muggings mysterious. There are a ton of phantom thefts going around and at most people have been seeing teens responsibile. And the police.. are at about this level of useful:

The only person doing something is April O’Neil, played by Judith Hoag. Hoag is easily the standout of the film, giving us a strong, confident woman with a wonderful sense of humor. She honestly might be my faviorite April O Neil, and given we’ve had some great ones with 2003, 2012 and Rise, that’s not something I say lightly. I honestly wish I’d recognized her in more stuff as she was both on Nashville and the mom in the Halloween Town films, and most recently was on the ScFy show the magicians. She’s a talented lady and i’m glad she’s still goin. 

April is a reporter for Channel 3 like the cartoon, though for some weird reason her boss from the cartoon is replaced by Charles Pennigton, played by Jay Patterson, whose currently dealing with his troubled son Danny, played by Micheal Turney. Pennington is horribly useless at both jobs: At work he tries to ease April off calling out Chief Sterns, who refuses to listen to April’s evidence gathered from japanese immigrants that the crimes resemble similar ones in japan in favor of trying to get charles to shut her up. Danny meanwhile is a member of the foot becase his dad thinks shouting out him and talking about him like he’s not there and generally being a dipstick will actually do anything to help him. 

I love the concept for the foot here. In addition to being a Ninja Violence Gang as always, they now recruit new members by finding kids without families or with troubled family lives and giving them a sense of family with the foot, and sweeting the bargin with a giant cave filled with arcade machines, a skate ramp and general late 80′s early 90′s kids goodies. Is it rediculous? Yes. Is it also clever as it gives Shredder an easy army of plausably deniable theives that he can pick the best out of to put in his elite that will be tirelessly loyal to him and him alone? Also yes. 

So April being public about this stuff gets her attacked, which naturally leads to our heroes coming in, first in the shadows and later directly when April wont’ give up on the case and Shredder sends some ninjas to go shut her up.. which he does weirdly as the guy jsut slaps her and tells her to cut it out like he’s on a domestically abusive episode of Full House. Raph saves her, and we get the turtles origin.. though weirdly they cut it in half. We get the ooze portion but Splinter’s past with Saki, Saki’s murder of his master and his master’s partern Tang Shen is left for later in the film and the fact Shredder’s saki is treated as a big twist despite the fact the biggest audience for the film would be kids... and kids would’ve been familiar with the cartoon where the giant brain monster routinely screeches out saki at the shredder. Maybe Barron just thought he was an alcoholic I don’t know. It just would’ve made more sense to have it all at once and let the audeince put it together. 

April becomes good friends with the turtles over a night of frozen pizza and camradrie, but the Splinters return home to find it ransacked, Splinter kidnapped by the foot, and are forced to Stay with april. Charles meanwhile tries to get April to backoff because he made a deal with the police to clear Danny’s record, without TELLING her any of this mind you, but I will save my rage on that little plot point for in a bit as Danny who he drug along sees the turtles and tells the Shredder. 

So we get the return of the shredder arc as Raph goes through a window, our heroes fight valiantly, and Raph’s friend Casey who he met earlier shows up, the two having bonded as all true friends do.. by beating the shit out of each other ending with raph shouting DAMNNNNNNN really big and dramatically into the sky for some reason. The Turtles and friends escape with an injured raph from April’s burning second hand store. She had a second hand store it was poorly established and only there because she had it in the comics. 

Our heroes retreat to a farm April’s grandma owned in Northampton, Massachutes, where Mirage was located at the time the original comics where they were exiled to the place were written and a location that has been a staple of the turtles ever since. The turtles slowly recover, lick their wounds, talk about who hooked up with who on gilligans island etc, before Leo connects with Splinter via meditation, who tells them to come back. Splinter also starts to connect with Danny and convinces him to swtich sides.. or at the very least squat in the boys old home. 

The boys return home, find danny, and prepare, Danny goes back and ends up giving away the Turtles are home.. but the turtles are ready and in an awesome sequence kick the fuck out of the foot squad sent for them with some well prepared steam vents. Casey goes to get splinter since Danny told them and with Danny’s help, finds him, since Danny found out they were gonna kill him. Casey beats up Tatsu, shredder’s right hand man, and they get him out. 

We get our final fight which is awesome up until the climax.. which is splinter casually tripping shredder with nunchucks and thier bloody history being kind of rushed and unsatsifying. Casey crushes shredder with a garbage truck, April gets her job back, more on that in a moment, she and casey hook up, and we end with the fucking awesome song T-U-R-T-L-E Power by partners in cryme. Seriously check it out it’s fucking triumphant. 

The song is just good.. cheesy? Sure but that’s half the fun. It’s the gold standard for movie theme songs for them and stacks up handily with the various animated series themes.. all of which slap. Okay... ALMOST all of which slap. Fast Forwards is aggressively medicore, which is doubly suprising to me since 4kids was REALLY damn good with theme songs. It was one of the three things they were best at along with finding VERY talented voice actors and setting japan based works in america because merica dammit.  

The plot is very solid: It skilfully packed half of eastman and laird’s run on TMNT into 90 mintues while adding things like April’s job at channel 9, the way the foot recurited kids etc. The plot flows well for hte most part and apart from one annoying subplot we’ll get to never has a moment that feel unecessary or dosen’t pay off later. And the stellar plot and fun pacing of it helps boilster the characters that do work... and help paper over the ones that are so thin the’yd fall down a grate...

Our Heroes, Villains and Annoying Middle Aged Guys:

Yeahhhh character is hit and miss here. Some are rather strong, others are the bare basics for the character their adapting and most are just to serve the plot but some work some don’t,  So let’s talk about it starting with our boys:

Raph is the most fleshed out of the turtles, being the main focus of the first 2/3 of the film, and having his anger be part of what SHOULD be a character arc, learning to temper it. And while granted MOST TMNT properties do this, to the point that Rise Raph is so loveable in part because his boisterous bruiser big bro attitude is a refreshing break from the usual grumpus we get. But at the time this hadn’t been done in every version but the 87 cartoon, so exploring it was valid.. but despite saying this should be a thing htey just forget about it and the most plot relevance he gets is going thorugh a window. He dosen’t really get a resolution.. his arc just kind of stops dead for the final half and it’s one of the film’s weaker points, one I only just now noticed on this rewatch. He’s still the most entertaining. 

Leo is the weakest of the turtles. He really lacks a personality here mostly just being leader and while his spirtual side is touched on, it’s  mostly a plot device. He’s just kinda the leader because he was in the comics to the point Partners in Cryme called Raph the leader. His role in getting taken out by the foot was taken by Raph, so he just has.. nothing to do for most of the film other than gripe at raph ocasionally and say orders. He’s probably the worst Leo i’ve seen outside of Next Mutation. I prefice that because after watching Phelous’ review it’s VERY clear those four are the worst versions of the characters, and no personality is still better than either having your team do nothing or yelling at them as your personality. I chalk this up to the Mirage Leo, and the mirage turtles to a poit being kind of bland. Not TERRIBLE characters, especially for the time, but not nearly as fleshed out or individualized as they woudl be in other adpatations, and with most traits LEo DID have, like his badassery flat out gone, he’s just.. nothing here. 

Mikey and Donnie are a double act here with both sharing a brain. Interestingly instead of his normal genius character, Donnie is Mikey’s best friend and the two simply trade jokes and schtick together. The two are interchangable.. but easily the best part of the film and a lot of the most memorable gags and lines, from Ninja Kick the Damn Rabbit! to “Do you like Penicllin on your pizza”, are from them. Thier there almost entirely as comic relief but it works, with both clealry being more modled ont he 87 cartoon turtles, a move that helps lighten the mood in darker moments. Their just genuinely charming and it’s intresting to see such a diffrent version of Donnie, and other incarnations, specifically the 2003 and Rise versions, would retain the sarcastic edge. 

Splinter is splinter. That’s about it, he’s peformed well and the puppet is amazing but he gets kidnapped a half an hour in and outside of influcencing Denny, more on that in a moment, and finishing Shredder he dosen’t do much but spout exposition. He’s not bad or anything, but he’s essentially a rodent shaped plot device. He was also puppeted by Kevin CLash, aka the guy who does Elmo. So there you go. 

April on the other hand.. is truly excellent. This might be my faviorite April. Judith’s april nicely blends the cartoon and mirage versions: She has the cartoons energy and job, but the comics sheer will and casual nature. Judith just oozes personality and her April is just a joy to watch, from her breezy chemistry filled interactions with the guys to her confrntation with Chief Sterns, knowing she’ll get thrown out by the asshole. She’s confident, and even when afraid dosen’t back down to her attackers and even helps out during the sewer ambush. I mean it’s a pot on the head but still it’s neat. She’s easily the best part of the flim and the most fleshed out of the cast. The worst I can say is they kinda shove her store from the comics, Second Time Around, in there for no other reason than it was in the comics: It dosen’t come up until it’s needed for the foot’s assault on her place. But overall.. she’s just fantastic to watch. 

Speaking of fantastic to watch, Elias Koteas is fantastic as Casey. Seriously he’s only second to the 2003 version in my eyes, getting the concept of a testorone filled average guy who decided to just go out and hit people with sports equipment after watching too much A-Team.. I mean that part of it’s not in this version but it’s implied, just right. Like judith, Elias is just really funny to watch and his big scenes, showing up just in time during the foot assault on april’s place and his fight with Tatsu are some of the best parts of the film, the former taken directly from the comics. This version isn’t without problems: His friendship with Raph, his most endearing aspect and one that has been carried throughout eveyr version Casey’s important, with the only exception so far being rise and we have a movie to fix that, is absent here. HE does save the guy, but they don’t really bond or anything. In fact he disappears for about half an hour after his big fight with Raph. But... again he’s just so damn entertaining, down to his JOSEEEEEEEEEEE Conseco bats (There was a two for one sale!).

Shredder is just a LITTLE better than splinter, if only because his actor projects a true aura of menace and I feel this version had some influence on the pants crappingly terrifying 2003 version. And the idea of the foot recurting teenagers like I said is a good one: He gives them home and a cause, they give him plausably deniable backup. And his fight with the boys in the climax is really awesome... the conclusion sucks but otherwise h’es okay. Not the deepest villian, but he has enough presence to be enjoyable.

His right hand man Tatsu, whose been adapted ocasionally since this and reimaigned as Natsu in the IDW comics, a female version, is also fine. He’s your standard grimacing goon but has enough presence to work. 

So that brings us to the penningtons. Charles, april’s boss at the station and his son Danny who’s joined the foot as he feels his dad dosen’t love him. Charles..is about as interesting and likeable as a dog turd and is the worst aspect of the film. No debate there, he just sucks. He sucks so hard he’s classified as a black hole.  The film wants you to see him as a put upon wokring dad whose frustrated with his son’s increased moodiness, skipping school and crminal undertakings and just wants to help him and loves him deep down. The problem is his actor’s delivery instead of concerned.. is just pissed. He just seems pissy and upset about the whole thing and comes off like he’s only mad about Danny doing this because he’s embarassing him and not because you know, it’s bad. When confronting Danny about stealing, he dosen’t consider MAYBE he’s part of a gang or needs help, but just wonders “Why are you stealing when I give you stuff”. Because, Dipshit, sometimes kids do crimes not because they need the stuff but because they WANT to, and because they want to act the fuck out. 

The most he does for the kid is agree to try and get April to back off the police when Cheif Sterns offers to let Danny go and not put him on record in exchange for it. The problem.. is this makes him even MORE unsympathetic. While I do get wanting to help your child, I do and it’s a sucky position... he again should be sympathetic.. but he handles the thing so badly it sucks. He just tells april to ease off, with no reason given, then fires her when she SHOCKINGLY dosen’t give up taking the guy whose refusing to take her hard work seriously or actually solve the crime wave problem to task for his shitty behavior as ANY person facing a shitty, corrput cop would. She just wants to hold him acountable and get him to actually do something. He clearly knows her on a personal level too as he talks about his issues with his son freely with her, something you don’t do with an employee unless their also a friend on some level. 

He could have TOLD april what was going on. She’d be furious at Stern’s naked corrpution and prioritizing shutting her up over actually solving crimes.. and thus put at least some of that energy into shutting him down or finding a way around it, going to the papers or something like that. Even in 1990 pre-internet, there were ways to get around Sterns blackmail and expose him so someone who’d actually do the job could get the job. Instead he just comes off as a selfish coward who rather than try and fight the guy blatantly abusing his power and using Charles own son as  barganing chip, goes along with it because it’s the easier option to simply bow to him instead of TRY and stop this. And it’s not like he’s even going after a beloved public figure or someone who could hide behind his rep: Sterns was blatantly failing a crime wave, April had called him out on his failrues and coverups multiple times. The public was against sterns.. finding out he tried to blackmail the media into shutting up about him would PROBABLY end him... I only say probably not because the public wouldn’t skewer him, but because police tend to escape consequences for blatantly murdering someone on a daily basis and Andrew Cumo is STILl mayor over in new york, the same city this movie takes place, 31 years later, depsite EVERYONE asking him to resign over a long history of sexual harassment and a more recent but still horrible history of hiding death numbers. I don’t doubt people being stupid enough to ignore this or the bilaws with cops being stacked enough for him to get away with it, but just because someone gets away with a crime dosen’t mean you shoudln’t try and go after them in the first place. Fuck. Charles. Pennington. 

Danny on the other hand is FAR more interesting and I think gets way too much flack when it comes to this subplot. Unlike his dad, whose dead weight, Danny is intresting: He provides a POV character for the foot’s MO in the film of taking in wayward teens, and his character arc is pretty engaging, slowly realizing the foot dosen’t care and that hte turtles are the good guys. HIs actor does a great job and while not the biggest presence, he’s not a bad addition to clan hamaoto and I wish other adaptations would find a way to use him. The pull between doing the right thing and his found family is a good struggle. My only real issue with his plot is the moviies flawed aseop about family. It tries to contrast shredder and his using the kids blatnatly with Splinter and Charles really loving their sons. And it works with Splinter and the kids because despite being a tad strict, Splinter clearly loves his sons and works with them to help them. The problem is ENTIRELY with Charles and Danny. As I said Charles love comes off as transasctional: He either thinks he can buy it or just expects it because he shot a bunch of goop into Danny’s mom after two minutes of disapointment. It dosen’t work with them because neither option is good for Danny. His father is neglectful, chooses throwing his jounralistic integrity out the window over talking to his son or his best friend about another way, and abrasive. Danny is no saint, he does do crimes, but it’s clearly a result of a shitty upbringing and the shredder and co actually offeirng him the love he desperatly craves. Danny goes to the foot because his dad is bad at his job but the film never adresses that and just expects Danny to go back to his dad because the plot says so. Danny would HONESTLY be better off with Splinter. No really. Sure he’d have to live in the sewers.. but he did so for a few weeks in the course of the movie. He’s fine down there. Splitner actually cares about him and took an intrest to him and knows how to raise a child. Let him become the fifth turtle. An aseop about family is not a bad thing: Loaded subject that it can be given how many outright abusive families exist, i’m one of the lucky ones who dosen’t have that issue, family is an important thing and can be a source of comfort and support. But this film tells you you should love and respect someone who does not love, respect or value you because he spent a minute in your mom’s vagina and that’s not how family should work and is outright dangerous to kids in an abusive situation. Love the film otherwise but fuck this aseop skyhigh. 

Final thoughts:

Overall though.. the film is bodacious. It’s funny, well paced, has an awesome cast, and outside of a certain bald asswipe... it’s a really good superhero film. Is it the best i’ve seen? Nope. Not even close and character wise most of them are as thin as a wet paper bag covered in ranch dressing. But it’s still a fun as hell with awesome corepgraphy, a killer soundtrack, seriously the soundtrack is damn excellent and only didn’t get it’s own section because I didn’t have enough to say and some of the best effects work i’ve seen in a film in the turtle suits. If you haven’t seen it I urge you to check it out: it’s a breezy 90 minutes, it’s on hbo max and it’s a shell of a time. Will I do the next film? 

We’ll see how this one does like wise and such, but I will be doing the rise film whenever it comes out this year. So look for that and keep possesing turtle power my dudes. If you liked this review subscirbe for more, join my patreon to keep this blog a chugging, comission a review if you have more turtle stuff you want me to cover, and comment on this. What do you think of the movie, what are your thoughts on the review, what can I do better, what other turtle stuff would you like me to cover/ Let me know and i’ll see you at hte next rainbow. 

[peggysousfan]

Good news or Happy posts plz!!

I need some good news, positive vibes, and some soft fics to read bc it has been a very stressful week. 

Job hunting is a pain in the ass in itself, but working where I was just hired is not worth a damn. (Granted I was told in the interview that everyone was new and few have been there for more than a few months, but I did not expect it to be as such of a cluster fuck as it is) It was my first day there and as soon as I walked in I was brought to the back to watch dvd’s as orientation videos, No one clocked me in or told gave me an employee number, then after an hour of watched dvds I was brought out to be trained by a littler newbie!!! This was his third fucking day!!!!! AND HE BARELY KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING!!!

He struggled constantly with the system, every time someone tried to used a credit card to pay it would freeze or he would have to cancel the payment and have them try again. He didn’t know which button was to choose between debit or credit so this was a consistent cycle every time someone paid with a card. And  whenever he did not change the default screen it would sign us off and we had to call the assistant Every. Singe. Time!  And when it was extremely busy (btw it was only the two of us at the registers while every associate and manager was walking around the store doing other things) the associate manager called a woman who has only been there a few weeks to help out, and even she did not have a number to log in to the computer when it logged her off. So again, the manager needed to be called every single time to the front to log us back in.

She had to have a cheat sheet basically to help her with the register because even she didn’t fully know how to work up front. -_- She tried her best to help when needed then disappeared to what she had been doing before. Literally it took an hour or longer before the newbie was able to try and talk me through working on the register and its specific keys and buttons to use. And I feel so bad for him because he was so nervous and unsure of what to do, hell he wasn’t even able to explain what to do well because he was still learning himself!!! Three fucking days and he was forced to train a new hire. He didn’t even know how to work the phone yet! I was scheduled to come back in today, and I was dressed and ready to go in. Maybe work one more day and all it quits, but I just couldn’t do it. No one with experience would be around to give proper training and development, and to top it all off the pay was never discussed nor was I able to clock out. It was imply walk in and start working then watch the clock to walk right back out, or wait until your replacement gets there. But the managers are well informed I do not have my drivers license yet and my mother gives me a ride. My teenage brother is also in school so as soon as I need to leave we had to pick him up from school so once I got the OK I left. Again, no way of clocking out so I had to open a doc on my phone and write down my hours for the day. So not only did I not go in but I texted on of the managers (Who didn’t even bother saving my number??) and told her I was grateful for the opportunity but I will be working else where that aligns with the career I will be studying for college (BTW for those that do not know I changed colleges and got accepted into community college and am going through with it finally!) And when I texted her the message her response was, “who is this?” 🤦‍♀️ Told her my name and she said that it is expected of me to put in a two weeks notice and if I did not return then I could never work at that store again. So I said I understand and was grateful for the opportunity but I was not going to return as a worker.

Like this place is so fucked up its not even funny. I felt so horrible for wanting to quit so early on but there was no way of being content at that establishment let alone successfully understanding a damn thing.