#Grace and Frankie would absolutely get me out of a bad date and it would be hilarious

[pilothusband]

fly me to the moon

Rating: M-ish (a lil spicy at the end)

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader

Warnings: Swearing, boner mention, a douchebag, a little hint at food shaming

Word count: 2.5k

Description: You go on a date with a complete asshole. He takes you on a helicopter tour, not expecting the pilot to be the one to sweep you off your feet.

Author’s note: Probably should have edited this more but meh. This was completely self-indulgent. Unbeta’d. Let me know what you think!

gif by @pedroispunk

Why did I agree to go out with this jackass in the first place?

Your eyes were starting to feel sore with the amount of times you had rolled them throughout your date. He hadn’t noticed the exasperated movement of your eyes, too swept up in talking about the summer he spent in Ibiza with his former fraternity brothers, his medium rare, overpriced ribeye untouched.

So far, everything had felt off. The way he pulled up outside of your apartment and honked his horn to signal his arrival, the anchor cufflinks in his freshly pressed suit, paired with a pair of leather boat shoes and a salmon-pink button down. You loved a man in pink, but the rest of the outfit just felt like it didn’t fit together. Was he going to a wedding or going to party on a yacht? You had glanced down at your own outfit, a simple black dress that stopped mid-calf and hung loose, just barely hinting at your curves.

God, you hoped he wasn’t going to take you on a boat.

You had only agreed to this date in the first place because Liam, an investment banker who worked in your office building in the suite below yours, had asked you nearly every day for a month in a row. He was persistent, kind of like a mosquito, but you figured you were being too picky and needed to expand your horizons a bit. Maybe you would learn more about him and actually have a good time.

Not so much.

You couldn’t help but notice the way his brows knit together when you had ordered the fettuccine alfredo. The restaurant’s menu was pretty limited, and you didn’t recognize most of the items. This place was just too fancy for your comfort. You had wanted to call the waiter back to the table and change your order to a cheeseburger, just to embarrass him further.

As Liam droned on about how his father had taught him how to manage his finances, you let your mind wander to last weekend. You had gone out with your friends, Benny and Will, a pair of brothers who were each other’s polar opposites, yet they had a bond that was stronger than any other siblings you had ever met.

You were already well acquainted with their other friends, Santiago and Frankie, affectionately known as Pope and Catfish. Pope had a magnetic personality– he commanded the room without meaning to, sometimes to the detriment of others around him, who were trying to get a word in edgewise. 

Frankie was complicated. He was quiet, a little rough around the edges, and a little gruff, but so soft at the same time. His eyes gave way to a deeply settled kind of hurt. They had drawn you in almost right away. It only took one glance at his smile, brilliant and boyish, with a hint of a dimple gracing his cheek, before you were hooked.

You had only known him for a few months now and only saw him when the guys got together, but you couldn’t deny the desire that clutched at your stomach whenever his deep brown eyes met yours.

You heard your date call your name, snapping you out of your daydream.

“You ready for part two of the best date ever?” Liam asked. His smirk was all wrong. It wasn’t soft or playful. It was polished and practiced. He reminded you too much of Patrick Bateman.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” you said, pasting a smile onto your face, inwardly wincing at how fake it was. You could not wait to go home and put on your sweatpants.

Shit. Holy shit.

He was taking you on a helicopter tour. The same company that Catfish worked for. Your stomach was in knots, threatening an unwelcome return of the alfredo you had for lunch.

Maybe he’s not working today, maybe we’ll get a different pil–

Of course you had no such luck. The guide ushered you both over towards the launching pad, where Frankie stood, wearing a tan flight suit. His hair was tousled, likely from being up in the air for most of the day and he had a pair of aviators on. He looked delectable.

His eyebrows shot up in recognition. He cocked his head to the side, glancing at your date, then back at you, a grimace set on his face.

Frankie schooled his expression and walked up and gave you a side hug, his hand squeezing your shoulder gently.

“Good to see you,” he said, giving you a small grin.

“You two know each other?” Liam asked, his eyes shifting between the two of you.

“Oh, yes, Liam– this is Frankie. He’s one of my friends.” 

Friends.

“Nice to meet you, Liam,” Frankie said, shaking his hand politely.

Liam gave Frankie one of his wide, practiced grins. “Likewise.”

You could have sworn you saw Liam wince a little during the handshake, but you chalked it up to pre-flight jitters. Liam slung an arm around your shoulder possessively and chuckled.

“Excited to show this pretty lady some pretty sights.” His fingers curled into your shoulder, a little too hard, and he jostled you a little, trying to come off as a cute gesture. It had you feeling like a rag doll. 

The smile you gave him must have been pretty forced, because Frankie coughed, interrupting the moment.

“All right, folks. Ready to get going?” 

You nodded, feeling a fluttering in your belly. Despite not wanting to be stuck in a helicopter with Liam, you were excited to finally see Frankie in action.

Frankie handed you both a pair of headsets and instructed you to buckle up. Before climbing in himself, he checked Liam’s belt, tightening it a little and then came over to your side, adjusting your belt as well. You risked a peek at him out of the corner of your eye, noticing the way his Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. 

“All set,” he murmured, giving you a soft smile.

Before you knew it, Frankie was in the pilot’s seat and the helicopter roared to life. The blades were whirring above your heads, making your hair whip around your face. You tucked the sides of your dress under your legs, silently cursing Liam for not warning you of this afternoon’s non-dress appropriate activity.

The swoop you felt in your stomach was unlike anything you had felt before, more intense than a commercial flight. You tried not to fidget, knowing you were in good hands with Frankie piloting, but fuck, were you already high up, and only climbing higher by the second.

You briefly wondered how high up you were now, how high up Frankie had ever flown. You planned on asking him once you were all safely back on the ground.

A large gust of wind made its way into the helicopter, forcing a shiver down your spine, goosebumps rising on your woefully unprotected arms.

“You cold, sweetie?” Liam asked. “I would give you my jacket but I need it to stay warm. You should have planned better, gorgeous.”

You instantly clenched your teeth, wishing murder was legal at this very moment.

“Well, Liam, I would have brought a jacket if you had told me we were coming here,” you said, voice dripping with a sarcastic, syrupy sweet tone.

“I have a jacket in the compartment in front of you,” Frankie said, glancing over quickly. “Go ahead and put it on.”

You obliged, opening the compartment and bundling up in the oversized jacket, instantly feeling better once the corduroy material covered your arms. You wrapped it around your torso and took a deep breath, hiding your grin in the sherpa collar. It smelled like him.

“Thank you, ‘Fish,” you said softly. He didn’t respond, but you saw his dimple appear out of the corner of your eye.

“All good back there?” You heard Frankie’s voice in your ears. You looked over to him, only catching a glimpse of his hands and the side of his face, partially obscured by his headset and his baseball cap.

“Doing fan-tas-tic, Frank,” Liam whooped. You couldn’t help but wince at how loud his voice was, and how he intentionally pronounced Frankie’s name incorrectly.

“Great,” Frankie sounded unamused.

You huffed, annoyed at your date’s bad manners and looked out the window. Terrible date aside, you had to admit the bay from above was absolutely gorgeous. You looked down at the ocean, so expansive and eternally blue. Your eyes skimmed over to where water met land, at the soft sand on the beach, turning into a thick forest.

“Frankie, it’s beautiful,” you gasped.

You looked over at him briefly, seeing a hint of a smile on his face.

Liam was momentarily forgotten, until his hand snaked its way onto your thigh, giving it a little squeeze. Instinctually, you moved your leg at the unwanted contact. Liam looked over at you, an ugly scowl marring his face.

“Careful with the turns in this thing,” he said, addressing Frankie. “Our girl here ate about 15 pounds of pasta before this.”

You felt a hot wave of embarrassment wash over you, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. They streaked down into your hairline from the force of the wind around you. You had already realized Liam was a bit of a douche, but you hadn’t thought him to be cruel.

“The only thing we have to worry about bringing this thing down is that big head of yours,” Frankie quipped back.

Biting back a laugh, you looked out the window so Liam wouldn’t see your reaction.

You could tell Liam wanted to argue back, but he stayed quiet, since the man he wanted to lash out at was responsible for keeping you all alive at the moment.

The rest of the ride was pretty quiet, other than the persistent chopping of the helicopter blades. The views were beautiful, but you found your eyes wandering back over to Frankie every few minutes. The tanned skin of his hands as he deftly worked at the throttle. Every time he pulled on a control you saw the veins in his forearms strain with the movement. You wondered what else those hands could do.

Before you knew it, the bird touched down and you unbuckled your seatbelt, removing the tight headset from your ears. You had a slight headache and you could tell getting down was going to be a struggle.

Frankie seemed to have no issue, jumping out of his seat with grace and walking over to your side to help you down. Your legs were shaking, so you stumbled as your feet hit the ground, grabbing onto his broad shoulders for dear life.

“I– oof, sorry,” you laughed nervously, rubbing your nose. You had bumped into his chest nearly smashing your face into his sternum. Frankie bit his lip and chuckled in response, squeezing your waist. You felt dizzy with his arms caging you in like this. It gave you an overwhelming desire to wrap yourself around him, to feel him pressed against you.

“It’s okay, I got you.” His voice rumbled in your ear, absolutely sending your senses on a tailspin. His strong, quiet voice was doing something magical to your already weak knees.

You stepped away before you fell over, remembering your date after a moment. He was about ten feet away, arms crossed, his face pinched in an angry expression.

“I don’t think this is working out,” he said as you walked over to him.

“I couldn’t agree more,” you said, giving him a sickly sweet grin. “I’ll find another ride home.”

Liam scoffed and made his way back into the tour center to grab his belongings. You instantly felt a weight lift off your shoulders. Thank God he left.

“So, why did you go out with that asshole, anyways?” Frankie asked, a bewildered expression on his face.

You sighed, feeling embarrassed.

“I honestly don’t know. He wouldn’t leave me alone so I decided to give him a shot.”

“I can’t say I blame him for being persistent, but seriously, fuck that guy.”

You huffed a laugh. 

“Seriously, when he made that comment about what you ate for lunch I wanted to throw him right out of the helicopter.”

You bit your lip and sniffed, feeling the embarrassment wash over you at the memory.

“I’m sorry you had to hear that,” your voice was small and you rubbed at your arms nervously.

Frankie had a hard, angry look on his face. It made you feel a little giddy, that he was so angry on your behalf.

“He should have never talked to you that way. He’s lucky you agreed to go out with his sorry ass.”

“You’re right. And God, I can’t believe he took me here, of all places,” you laughed. This really was surreal.

“Feels kind of like fate, huh?” He said, giving you a boyish grin.

“How so?”

“Well,” he stepped towards you, arms sliding up the material of his jacket. “I’ve always wanted to see you in this jacket.” His gaze made its way down your figure. His eyes were dark as he swallowed heavily.

“And I’ve always wanted to go on a date with you, though not while you’re on one with another man.” The smile he gave you was shy, searching, as if he wasn’t sure how you’d react.

“Well, I won’t be making that mistake again,” you replied, stepping closer. 

Your tongue came out to wet your lips and Frankie watched with rapture. 

“I’d like to kiss you now, if that’s okay.” His mouth was an inch from yours, and his large, calloused hands cradled your face gently.

“Please, Frankie,” you sighed.

His lips were soft, despite the bruising urgency in his actions. Your hands immediately tangled into his hair, knocking the cap off his head. You melted against him and licked his bottom lip, asking for permission. He immediately complied, licking into your mouth. Your tongues found a delicious rhythm, tangling together. You moaned into his mouth, spurring him on further. His hips pressed into yours. You could feel how hard he was, even through his flight suit.

“Fuck, baby” he rasped, pulling away. His chest was heaving, breath ragged from your kiss. “The things I want to do to you.”

You slanted your hips back into his, pressing into his erection. “Then do them.”

Frankie bit his lip and groaned, pressing his forehead to yours.

“You’re absolutely perfect for me, you know that?” 

You grinned, leaning forward to capture his lips again.

“I want to do this right, though,” he said. “I’m going to take you out on a better date. Show you how first dates should go. And then I’m going to take you home and show you how much I’ve wanted you for months.”

You felt as if your heart had stopped momentarily.

“That sounds perfect to me,” you said, kissing him again.

Taglist: @tenderclio @softdin @darnitdraco @freeshavocadoooo​ @recklessworry @wyn-dixie​ @manalg14​ @codenamewife @comphersjost​ @princessxkenobi​

[pettyprocrastination]

Panty & Bambi

Francisco “Catfish” Morales x Roller Derby!Reader

Summary: Helena Morales celebrates her 12th birthday at the roller rink, where she plays cupid for her kind father who’s attention has been captured by a confident skater that danced about the rink. 

Warnings: profanity, uhhh mention of alcohol?? Frankie being a fucking BOTTOM about buff thick women lmao. 

Word Count:2.9k

Perm Taglist: @honestlystop​

authors note:Wrote this because I’m sad about not being able to do derby this season and i’ve been watching lots of bouts to comfort myself in it lmao. Big inspiration to @qveenbvtch​ who wrote a fucking MAGICAL javi rollerskating fic called Ring My Bell!! It’s so fucking good read it here !!!!!! Big thank you to my boo @captainsamwlsn​ for reading this for me ILY Thais so fkin much <3

“For her next birthday could your daughter pick something that isn’t fucking murder on my knees?”

Frankie stared at his friend and god father to his now twelve year old daughter under the flashing fluorescent lights of the roller rink before taking a sip of the cheap beer in his hand. “Don’t whine Santi.” Frankie laughed.  “We both know you’d do anything for her.”

Which was true. 

Helena had only been a baby when the group went to Columbia to take down Lorea. They had always been a close-knit group of friends, but what happened on that trip, that shit-show of a mission, made them appreciate having each other even more. They visited Tom’s family when they were able to, the first few months after his death his ex-wife wouldn’t even let them on the front lawn. She took to screaming and cursing at them for his death, they didn’t tell her about the teenage boy that took her ex-husband’s life to avenge his brother. 

Tess did in fact get into Harvard. She sent Pope letters from time to time. She didn’t blame him or the others for her father’s death like her mother did. The boys couldn’t say the same for themselves. 

But the family they did have, the sweet chunky cheeked little infant girl Frankie was proud to call his daughter? Oh they all worshiped her. Little Helena had them all wrapped around her finger from the moment they set eyes on her. 

The men had been there for every tea party, fairy tale, and birthday. They watched her go from mashing cake into her mouth at one years old to laughing at a skate rink with her friends at twelve. 

Frankie had been there for everything and his boys were there to help him. 

He couldn’t say the same for Liana. 

“Twelve years brother.” Pope remarked. Frankie groaned and let his head fall forward. 

“You don’t have to tell me man. Where did it all go?” He looked out on the rink with a smile, watching his daughter skate with ease on the polished wood floors while Ben wobbled along next to her, looking more like a baby taking its first steps than a grown man. 

“It feels like just yesterday I was changing her diapers, now she’s in eighth grade.” Frankie sighed, released the vice like grip he had on the neck of his bottle. “Fuck man, I’m not ready for her to go to high school, I don’t know what I’ll do with myself.”

“You’ll do what you’ve always done for her, ‘Fish.” Frankie looked up to see Will standing at his side, setting a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You’ll be there for her. Which is more than I can say about half of the dead beat dads out there now.”

“Dad!” She called out, her pigtails swaying as she turned to him, hands held out with a big grin. “Come on!”

Frankie ignored the pop of his knees as he stood up with a groan. 

“I’ll pray for your back hermano!” Santi called out with a barking laugh as his friend slowly stepped onto the rink with shaking legs

Frankie couldn’t give his little girl the world no matter how much he wanted to, he was just one man. But damn if he wouldn’t skate with her at her birthday party. 

Helena took his hand in hers as they skated, which he knew was more for his safety than hers. But he still felt his heart clench at seeing just how small his daughter’s hand was compared to his.

“How are you so bad at this!” She giggled upon seeing his knees buckle for the third time in two minutes. While Helena had taken to roller skates with ease, the same could not be said for her father, who clutched onto her hand like a lifeline. 

“Mija, the last time I was on wheels like this was before I broke my ankle skateboarding.” A woman skated by them, the wheels on her skated lighting up a bright pink each time they made contact with the floor. You turned, skating backwards for a moment with a carefree smile before turning forward again. 

Frankie’s knees buckled when Helena’s hip bumped against his.

“God-” His daughter snorted. “Maybe if you stopped staring at that lady and focused more on skating you wouldn’t be wobbling like an old man on a walker!”

His head snapped to his daughter like a whip, for a moment uncaring how he nearly lost his balance. “I am not-I wasn’t-did you just call me an old man?”

His daughter simply stared up at him with that smug little grin that he swore Santi taught her. 

“She’s pretty.” His daughter noted, he spared another glance up, feet sliding across the floor as he did. 

You skated around another couple, hips swaying to the song playing over the speaker and hands raised high over your head. You brought one foot in front of the other in a sashay along the rink, gliding over the floor with grace that Frankie couldn’t even try to get as he gripped his daughter’s hand for dear life while they skated along the inner rim of the rink. 

His daughter tugged at his hand, which had gotten arguably more sweaty when he realized that you would be passing them once more. “You should say hi.”

Frankie shook his head and offered his daughter a smile. “It’s your birthday ‘lena.” He reminded her. “You should be having fun with your friends instead of worrying about your old man’s dating life.”

Helena tilted her head in thought before smiling and letting go of her father’s hand. “Okay!”

“Wait-wait!” Frankie shot his hands out to balance himself, without the help of his daughter he felt even more off-kilter and out of his element. “Where are you going!?”

His daughter laughed before joining her friends that had skated ahead of them. “You told me to have fun with my friends! So I’m going to!” She looked behind him and smiled so wide he felt his heart drop. “Have fun dad! You got this!”

“Helena Maria Morales if you don’t-” Frankie’s threat was cut off when his legs wobbled against, one foot shooting out to steady him, except he was on fucking roller skates, which only caused his foot to slide out from beneath him and send him tumbling onto the hard floor beneath him. 

Had it not been for his skating savior that is. 

You shot forward, one hand gripping the collar of his shirt meanwhile the other grabbed the waistband of his trousers to steady him. On instinct his hands gripped your hips like you were a life preserver and he was a man lost at sea. 

“You alright there buddy?” Frankie simply stared at you, throat tight and mouth wide open as his bright wracked for a single thought, a single word to say to you. 

“Jesus Christ.” Santi groaned from the other side of the rink. He and the other boys sat watching in equal parts awe and dismay at their friend being caught like damsel and then absolutely flounder in front of you. “Say something you idiot!”

“Oh this is painful.” Ben snorted. “I don’t want to look away!”

“I’m uh, yeah I’m good.” Frankie realized as you pulled him upright how fucking strong you were, and it made his knees knock together for a whole different reason. His hands tensed and he realized he was still holding onto your hips. “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine, really.” You held up a hand to silence him, his mouth snapped shut as if it were a trained command. “I know you aren’t some creep trying to cop a feel, I’ve been watching you skate for a while now.”

Frankie looked down at the floor. “Yeah well, the last time I was on wheels was when I was sixteen and tried to impress a girl at the mall by grinding on a rail with my skateboard.”

You slowly took his hand in yours and began to skate forward, slow smooth steps that he did his best to mimic. He was so focused on not falling he hadn’t realized that the pair of you were skating like a couple. “Did it work?”

“Fuck no!” He laughed. “I broke my ankle, lost a tooth, then she and her friends all laughed at me.”

You smiled at his story, noting the way the multi-colored lights bounced off his profile. “Well, I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t break an ankle or lose any teeth tonight, alright Bambi?”

Frankie’s feet wobbled again and tightened his grip on your hands, marveled for a moment at how soft they felt against his. “Bambi?”

“Yeah.” You offered him a slight shrug, he still wasn’t sure how you could skate around others with such ease while also maintaining a conversation, but was thankful for it either way. “You both have brown hair, both have shit balance-”

“Gee thanks.”

You giggled and flicked the tip of his cap. “Let me finish.” You scolded. “You both have shit balance, and you're both pretty fuckin’ cute.”

Frankie felt his heart race and his lips curl into a shy smile. He watched the colors that danced over your form like a kaleidoscope. “Well my actual name is Frankie-” The tip of his skate dipped forward, catching on the floor and sending him careening right into your arms. You kept your feet together at an angle to keep from falling, hands grabbing onto him as he barreled forward, arms thrown around you and nose pressed against yours. “-but I guess Bambi is pretty fitting too.”

“Well Bambi-” Frankie felt a tingle down his spine every time you called him that. A nickname so sweet and innocent had no business making him feel so hot under the collar. “How about we take a break from trying to keep you from falling flat on your ass and go sit down for a bit? If your daughter doesn’t mind that is.”

He looked over your shoulder, where Helena stood with two of her friends, smiling wide and flashing her dad two thumbs up. 

“I don’t think she'll mind.”

```

“A pilot?” You whistled, leaning back in his chair. “Damn, you’ve got me beat. I’m just a high school English teacher!”

Frankie shook his head, toe tapping on the linoleum floor of the little snack corner of the rink that pair of you were sitting at. “Now I wouldn’t say all that. I mean, spending your entire day dealing with teenagers who definitely don’t want to be there? You must have the patience of a saint.”

You bumped your knee against his. “We’ll now you’re just trying to flatter me.”

Frankie held one hand up and the other over his heart, as if he were taking an oath. “All truth here, coming from a former AP English kid.” You gasped and held one hand over your chest and pretended to swoon. 

“An honor student of my subject? Be still my beating heart!” Frankie snorted into his drink, which caused you to in turn laugh loud enough for the people in front of them to turn and glare. 

He had always hated dating. It felt so forced, so uncomfortable. The icebreakers were only met with bland replies of women who clearly weren’t interested in him, and only became less interested when they learned he was a father. That or they would praise him for being so “brave” to raise his daughter on his own. What, as if he was supposed to walk out on her just like her mother did? It turned him off to the whole situation. 

But this? Sitting in the tiny snack corner at a roller rink, sipping overpriced sodas and laughing loud enough to annoy people while staring at the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen? Oh it was better than any date at a four star restaurant he’s been on. 

“Trust me.” He told you. “You would’ve hated me as a student.”

“I could never!”

“Oh yes you could!” He laughed. “I fell asleep in class all the time, never answered questions and uh honestly?” He pulled his hat low over his face with a shy smile. “If I had you as a teacher? I’d never get anything done.”

His eyes flicked to the sleeve of your shirt, seeing your biceps strain against it as you leaned over for your drink. The shorts you wore hugged the thick muscle of your legs and he felt his throat tighten up at the thought. 

You smiled and pushed his cap up so you could see his brown doe eyes. “I’m gonna take that as a compliment, Bambi.”

 Santi watched the pair of you, nearly nose to nose when you leaned in close to toy with his hat. He smiled and bumped Will’s shoulder. “Look at ‘em go. ‘Fish still has it.”

“That’s our boy.”

They had all gotten the call when Liana left, she had simply packed her bags in the middle of the night and vanished. Leaving Francisco and their six month old baby alone. They knew how much it hurt him to see her leave, how much he blamed himself and wracked his brain for how to fix it, how many times he called her and pleaded for her to come home. If not for him, for their daughter. Their little baby girl who wouldn’t stop crying because she was hungry and mommy was gone. 

But to see him now, blushing like a school boy while talking with a woman who his daughter practically pushed him into, they all felt a swell of pride. 

If any of them deserved a happy ending, it was Catfish. 

“If he doesn’t ask her out-” Ben sighed. “I’ll kill him. Just fucking murder him.”

Sadly, just as Frankie was about to ask that dreaded question, if he could get your number or hell, if you’d like to get a drink sometime, a woman with bright pink hair poked her head over your table. 

“Hey panty!” She called out and Frankie damn near got whiplash at that nickname. “Can you give me a ride home? My car is busted and my boyfriend can’t pick me up.”

Your shoulders deflated at her response and Frankie couldn’t help but feel a little prideful that you felt dejected to leave his side. “Yeah no problem Jammie.”

“Thanks!” The girl chirped. “I’ll meet you outside!”

When she left, Frankie turned to you with a slow smile, his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Panty?”

“Ughh I know!” You groaned into your hands. “It’s not some weird nickname or anything it’s just my derby name I swear!”

Frank leaned back, eyes wide in admiration. “You play roller derby?”

You grinned, shoulders back and confidence oozing off of you at the mention of your sport. You tucked your hands behind your head and Frankie took that moment to marvel at the muscle that strained against your shirt. “Damn right I do. Not to brag but I’ve been the MVP for the last three seasons.”

It was absolutely a brag and he loved it. 

“You know-” Your eyes flicked to his, shy and skittish. “-we have a bout, a game, this Saturday if you want to come. It’ll be here, at eight. You don’t have to-”

“I’ll be there.” He promised. The thought of you in those spandex shorts on skates, being positively brutal to other women on the track with that confident grin? Christ, he wouldn’t miss it for the world. “I’ve never watched roller derby before but, it’s recently piqued my interest.”

You smiled, raising your foot to knock it against his. “Well I hope it keeps you interested Frankie, because you’ve piqued mine too.”

Frankie felt a swell of pride in his chest at your shy smile and sweet words. He felt like a kid back in high school, trying his best to woo the girl in his biology class with passing notes in hopes of getting a date. 

Only this time he had more experience and a lot less acne. 

“Panty!” The woman shouted. “Lets gooo! I work the morning shift tomorrow!”

Your face fell. “Looks like that’s my que to head out. I’ll see you Friday though?”

“Fuck yes.” Frankie breathed out, before regaining his composure. “I mean uh yeah, yeah I’ll uh, see if I can make it.” You laughed and stood up from the table, turning on your heel at the final moment to press a quick kiss to his cheek. 

“I’ll see you then, Bambi.” You purred, before walking out of the door and past His daughter and three grown ass men, who stood in a circle nearby like a bunch of gossiping old women.

Frankie didn’t even have a moment to realize you kissed him before his daughter bounded over to him asking eighty questions within two seconds.

“What's her name? Is she cool? She seems cool! Are you guys dating now? Did you ask her out? Did you get her number?”

He brought this daughter in for a hug, bringing his hand down on the crown of her head in a playful nuzzle. 

“Alright speedy gonzales.” She laughed into his side and tried to wriggle out of his bear hug. “No more matchmaking, you hear me?”

“But it worked! Didn’t it?” His stern facade melted away at the excited grin on Helena’s face.He sighed, letting his chin fall onto the top of her head. 

“We’ll just have to wait and see mija.”

His daughter whooped in victory, throwing her hands high in the air in celebration. 

“That means it worked!”

[theinvisible-rogertaylor]

Film Productions and Fiancées

For @ben-hardy-slut who asked: Could please write a ben where the reader is Rogers daughter and he asks if he can propose on the set thanks!

For the purpose of this imagine, Roger has only been married once. To the reader’s mother!!

FYI filming took place in 2017... so things are not exactly “present time”

Warnings: fluff and one swear

Pairing: Ben Hardy x reader

Gif - @/piszczumiszczu85

————

———//———

“You’ve got this, Ben. You’ve talked to him a million times. You’re about to play him in his movie for God sakes. Man up, Jones.” Ben said aloud as he knocked on the door of his girlfriend’s father’s house.

Looking up he saw his girlfriend’s mother coming to the door in her pajamas and silk robe.

“Ben, it’s late. What brings you here at this hour, honey?” Camilla Taylor asked as she eyed the young blonde boy.

“I’m sorry it’s so late Mrs. Taylor, but I need to talk to you and Mr. Taylor.” Ben said, his right hand fidgeting with something in the pocket of his leather jacket.

“Of course, honey. Come in. Is it YN? Is she alright?” Camilla asked as she walked Ben into the living room and sat herself down next to her husband who yawned and rubbed his eyes.

“Benjamin, to what do we owe the pleasure? Is YN alright?” Roger asked, standing up to bring Ben in for a hug.

“Yes, Mr. Taylor. She’s more than alright, she and Frankie are sleeping right now. I just needed to speak to the two of you and I couldn’t wait.”

“Please, son. You have been dating YN for 5 years, it’s Roger and Camille. So need for formalities, we’ve told you this.” Roger chuckled.

Ben’s palms began to sweat and he rubbed them on his jeans. Looking down at the floor he cleared his throat and spoke.

“Roger, Camille, as you pointed out I’ve been happily dating YN for the last 5 years. We have a home, and a dog so I think it’s only natural we take the next step...”

Camilla gasped and patted Roger’s arm excitedly, nearly bouncing off the sofa.

“Rog! Oh my God. Is it happening? Is he gonna...”

“Cami, my love. Settle down and let the boy speak.” Roger laughed, pulling his wife onto his lap and kissing her temple.

“Continue, Ben. Sorry.” Camilla smiled.

“Um, yeah so... I was wondering if I could ask for YN’s hand in marriage? I-I have a plan, I-if you’ll let me.” Ben stammered.

“Yes! Oh goodness, Ben absolutely! Tell us all about it.” Camilla beamed.

“Well... you know how Roger proposed to you at Live Aid? YN’s told me all about it and how perfect it was, and well...”

———

The next morning Ben’s alarm went off at 6 AM sharp. YN groaned at the sound and Frankie lifted her head off of Ben’s chest and let out a little bark.

“Yes, Sweet girl. I will feed you. Let mummy sleep.” Ben whispered, lifting her from the bed onto the floor so she could follow him into the kitchen.

Whispering still as he poured some kibble into Frankie’s dish he whispered,

“Today’s the day Franks. Mummy and daddy will finally be fiancé and fiancée!” The biggest smile graced his face and Frankie barked in response.

After making himself and YN a cup of coffee, he made his way back into their bedroom and placed it on the end table. Climbing back into bed beside her, she nuzzled into him and hummed contently.

“Baby. I have to go to set now, but you’re going to come visit me, right?” He whispered, kissing her lips lightly and sitting up to leave.

“Noooo, stay baby. Don’t go.” She whined, attempting to pull him back.

“Babe. It’s the first official day of filming your dad would kill me. Plus, we’re shooting Live Aid today, you’ve gotta be there!” He smiled, kissing her goodbye.

“See you at noon for lunch, baby. Dad wants sushi, since he hates craft services. Do you want anything?”

“Just to see you, my love. Now I’m going before I’m late. I love you!” He said, running out of their flat.

————

On set, around 11:30 Ben was running around like a chicken with his head cut off trying to get everything ready.

“Ben, sweetheart, calm down. Everything will be fine. She hasn’t texted me yet so that means she’s still at the restaurant.” Camilla sighed, rubbing Ben’s back in an attempt to calm his nerves.

“I just want everything to be perfect. She’s the love of my life and she deserves the best.” Ben smiled.

“YN just texted me, she’s on her way!” Roger shouted, running out onto the makeshift Wembley Stadium stage.

Camilla walked over to her husband and gave him the widest grin she could muster before kissing him passionately and whispering,

“He’s perfect for her, my love. I can’t wait.”

“If he’s anything like me, of course he’s perfect, my Queen.” Roger said, wrapping his arms tighter around his wife of 32 years.

“Dream on, Taylor.” She smirked.

Just then, Lucy yelled out from backstage,

“YN just texted me guys! She’s finding a parking space.”

“Alright. Showtime!” Ben smiled, while still obviously quite nervous.

Roger made his way to his drums on the stage while the real Brian and Deaky also picked up their instruments and began to lightly play “You’re My Best Friend,” Ben and YN’s designated Queen song.

When YN walked out onto the set she first spotted her father and uncles in a semi jam session and her boyfriend pacing the stage as her mother stood behind her father on the drum rises.

“Hello, my love. I brought you some lunch.” YN greeted, kissing his cheek and taking his hand in hopes that he would stop pacing.

“Actually, love. I’m not really hungry right now.” Ben said, suddenly the ring in the pocket of his ADIDAS track pants felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, screaming “let me out of here!! Put me on her finger!”

“Oh, okay. Do you want to just hang out in your trailer until lunch is over?” YN smiled, wrapping her arms around his waist kissing him.

Just then Roger bangs the cymbal rather hard and halts the song.

“Jesus Christ, Ben, just do it!” Roger yells, causing his wife to smack him in the back of the head and give a hushed, “shut up you wankuh!” But kissing his cheek quickly afterwards. Brian and John nearly bust a gut.

YN raises an eyebrow as she realizes something is off, and looks up at Ben as he pulls away.

“YN, I lied. I-I’m actually starving right now. But I need to tell you ... or rather ask you something.” Ben smiled, taking hold of her left hand and getting down on one knee. YN gasps, And begins to tear up.

“YN Y/M/N Taylor, I have loved you since I bumped into you at that bookstore in Piccadilly over 5 years ago. Since then I’ve watch you flourish and grow. Graduating university, moving in together, adopting our baby Frankie. You’ve seen me go from a lowly soap opera twat to playing your father in a Hollywood movie — thanks for getting him to give me drum lessons before Brian Singer found out I couldn’t actually drum, by the way.” He smiled through the tears that were steadily cascading down his red cheeks. YN too was crying like a baby, and she knew that behind her, so were her parents.

“I can’t wait to adventure so much more with you. I love you so damn bad, baby. Will you marry me?” He finished.

“Yes, baby. Of course I’ll marry you!” YN chocked, pulling him up off of his knees and sliding the Cartier ring onto her finger, kissing him as if her life depended on it.

Bri, Deaky and her dad all lifted YN off the ground and spun her around. Rami, Joe, Gwil and Lucy all ran out from backstage hollering like maniacs.

“You did it, you crazy fucks! It’s about time!” Joe laughed engulfing his best mate in a hug.

“It sure was, mate.” Ben laughed, reuniting with his girl once the congratulations were over.

“Hey babe, I think you beat my dad’s proposal.” YN smiled, admiring the ring on her finger as Ben held her waist from behind.

“I’m glad, Ms. Jones.”

[sapphicscholar]

Pride Month Prompts Day 2: Rainbow (Grace/Frankie)

From this Pride Month Prompts post! I’m taking the opportunity to write some short fics for a variety of pairings that I haven’t written for as much, maybe at all. They won’t be going on AO3, so I’ll be sure to tag them all with #pride month prompts so you can find them later if you want.

Day 2: Rainbow

Pairing: Grace/Frankie  A/N: I’ve never written for Grace and Frankie before, so hopefully I did them a bit of justice, even though I’m still trying to get their voices and figure out my style for writing them as a pairing. I might try a few more prompts with them this month...we’ll see!

“Tomorrow’s June 1st. You know what that means, don’t ya?” Frankie had asked, apropos of absolutely nothing in between the gummy bears she picked up and popped into her mouth one by one during the commercial breaks of annual Scripps Spelling Bee.

Grace tried to remember. She’d always thought of herself as a considerate partner--she’d certainly been more likely to remember important dates and moments than Robert had, that’s for sure, and she knew his secretary was the only reason she always received a timely, perfectly impersonal gift for their wedding anniversary. But with Frankie, suddenly things weren’t so clear. Grace had inscribed a careful, cursive F inside of her planner on April 17, the day that all of the feelings that she’d been pushing down further and further finally beat back the dam and demanded her attention, demanded that she lean over and kiss the infuriating, impossible woman who she’d fallen in love with at some point over the years. But Frankie recognized so many other dates as important milestones in the relationship she’d described later that same night as being “like playing fetch with that old dog we had, Ernie, remember him?” Grace mainly remembered the way he’d smelled like kibble and rain and mud. “We’d throw a ball for him, and, well, he wasn’t exactly a professional fetch player, if you know what I mean, but he’d meander over. Maybe sniff the grass. Eat a bug. Chew on a stick. Really enjoy the whole experience, one with nature and all that. Pretty enlightened if you think about it. And eventually, he’d find whatever you threw and make his way back to you.” Grace had been halfway to offended until Frankie had added: “Fetch with Ernie.” Us. She gestured between them. “Inevitable. You just have to be patient, trust that things will work out.” So instead of getting snippy with Frankie, Grace had found herself kissing Frankie, again, for the better part of an hour until her neck was stiff and her bad knee demanded something stronger than the heat and ice Frankie would suggest.

A few days later, once it was easier to be alone on the couch together without reveling in the newfound ability to lean over and hold hands or hold one another or kiss, Grace finally asked Frankie about the milestones she’d mentioned. As Frankie began listing them, Grace realized she might need a separate planner just to keep track. Because there was the first time Grace made a proper promise with a kiss. The first time they had a whole meal together uninterrupted by phone calls or fights or family members barging into the house. The first time Grace actually ate something at Del Taco. The first time Frankie had an erotic dream about Grace and Del Taco’s queso--unsurprisingly, those two shared a date. The morning on the beach when Frankie first realized she could spend the rest of her life with no one but Grace and be happy. The first time Frankie had an inkling that Grace might feel the same way.

Still, June 1st wasn’t ringing any bells. “Alright, you’ve got me. What is it? Is it the first time we got high together?”

“Don’t jest, Grace. We all know that was an early spring evening just before Mercury entered retrograde.”

“But of course.” Still, she resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Just barely.

“It’s Pride month! Oh Grace, there’s glitter and rainbows and parades--you know how much I like a good parade.” The distinction between good and bad parades was still lost on Grace, though Frankie had been working to explain it, mainly by yelling, “Bad!” whenever they happened to drive past a bad parade or see a bad parade on TV or see something that reminded Frankie of a past bad parade.

“Are you...celebrating?”

“Well of course! But not with those Wall Street sellout types.”

“Obviously.” Frankie beamed at her like she’d done something right, so Grace once more resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“But remember that potluck Babe organized her last year here? Then on Facebook I got an ad for Gay Day at the Beach and a 65+ mixer. And I know it means Mark and all his little friends are listening to me.” She glared at her cell phone. “I know you can hear me, but you don’t own me!” A moment later her attention was back on Grace. “Doesn’t that sound great?”

Grace swallowed heavily, thinking of Robert’s theater friends and the big loud crowds of 20-somethings all yelling about how happy they were to be out and proud when she’d spent her 20s pushing down memories of kissing her best friend in a darkened dorm room and following instructions as everyone around her reminded her that it was time to find the right kind of man and settle down into the right kind of life. She managed some vague noise of assent before begging off with claims of exhaustion, knowing Frankie was never one to discourage napping.

Over the next few days, Grace watched as Frankie trotted out colorful outfit after colorful outfit. Not that her typical color palette was what anyone would call reserved, but now there were patches and buttons and bright swaths of primary colors that made Frankie beam every time she caught sight of herself in the mirror. And Grace tried. She pulled out the pink button up she knew Frankie liked, and tried to shy away from the blacks and grays and navys and tans she too often favored. But still, her colors always turned out more J-Crew in the Summer than Queer Grandmas at Pride. Anything more than that made her stomach clench uncomfortably, like she was trying to force herself into a mold that fit no better than motherhood and heterosexuality had.

So it was with no small amount of trepidation that Grace accepted the rainbow gift bag from Frankie, who stood in front of her, bouncing on the balls of her feet, nearly vibrating with energy as she waited for Grace to tear into the present she’d gotten her “for Pride, of course!”

The first item she pulled out was a coffee mug with Straight Outta the Closet printed on it--an homage Grace recognized only because of the weekend Frankie had come back from some protest or other and made them listen to N.W.A. again and again in her studio until the neighbors came over and asked them to keep it down or at least shut the windows. It wasn’t anything Grace would ever have picked for herself, but it reminded her of Frankie enough that she already knew she’d be using it frequently, just like she’d spent a whole month drinking her coffee out of the matching Vybrant-purple coffee mugs Frankie had made for them.

“There’s still one more thing for today’s potluck!”

“Right.” Grace forced herself to smile as she dug into the tissue paper exploding out of the bag. But she didn’t find the rainbow tutu Frankie had laughed about for a solid three minutes or even one of the t-shirts she’d browsed for hours. Instead, she found a rainbow enamel pin, about the size of her nail.

“I thought you could pin it to that big bag you carry to the beach. Just right in the corner.”

And it was small and understated, but still bright and colorful. A tiny, personal reminder of what this first Pride month being together meant. The kind of thing that could be overlooked, but wouldn’t be by those who knew to look. She didn’t realize she was getting emotional until she felt tears she refused to let fall prickling at her eyes. “It’s perfect,” Grace whispered. “How’d you know?”

“You forget that I am an intuitive witch, Grace Hanson.” Frankie grinned as she reached out a hand, tangling her fingers with Grace’s. It would probably last only until they hit the beach or the water or the first person whose reaction wasn’t already guaranteed to be fine strolling along the shore. But until then, Grace’s hand--always slightly cool to the touch, but perfectly moisturized, perfectly manicured (but nails kept shorter these days, thank you very much)--would find its home in hers, and until then, Frankie would enjoy every second of it.

[iknowicanmakeitthrough]

Thoughts on 14x03

-Hm starting off with Winston/Frankie... this episode has already lost me

-Also, Frankie’s been counting the days they’ve been dating, which is equal parts sweet and obnoxious

-“Miles can’t get pregnant” “sounds like a challenge”.... I really would Die for this idiot

-Jack and Imogen! They’re too cute

-Are they wearing matching lipstick?

-I. And I cannot stress this enough. Could not care less about Drew and Becky

-Tiny!!! And Grace!!!

-Zig... can we not with the homophobic stereotypes

-No, Tiny, not you too! :(

-At least Grace is always here to talk some sense into them

-“No boy is worthy of my room” I love Shay so much

-oomfchat is the worst fake name for anything I’ve ever heard

-I love Imogen encouraging Becky to keep her faith (in God and her family) its very sweet

-Also, you definitely have to be an adult to use dating sites so I don’t know what site Becky is using

-Maya’s nightmare just shook me up so bad oh my God. Girl really needs to talk to someone

-Ms.. Grell? What’s her name again? Anyway, she’s very helpful but Maya is not opening up at all

-this idea is so STUPID and ILLEGAL. Like.. if they were like, 10 years older I’d be like, sure, reclamation and feminism but... they’re literally children

-I stand by what I said, but it is a pretty solid business plan

-Okay I’m just gonna point this out: Shay is the only black girl on the team, it would be so incredibly obvious it was her

-I love Maya’s mom, she’s awesome

-Also, this is definitely some left over trauma from what happened to Cam, which makes me very sad

-Lmaoooo I forgot about Becky’s broken leg

-Wow this guy is obnoxious

-Like, sometimes it’s okay to be like “that sucks, I’m sorry”

-I feel like Miles is maybe... too mad about this? But I get where he’s coming from (also he says “mum” which.. cute)

-Aw, of course Zig is right there to comfort her!

-he’s a good guy. Also now I want to rank Degrassi ships in order of how much I like their height difference

-“okay then maybe I hate myself” that’s... deeply concerning

-there is absolutely nothing revealing about Frankie’s dress wtf

-she’s also very justified in being frustrated with the double standard

-Why on earth would she just leave her door open?

-Yeah that l dress is bad. It looks like something I would’ve worn to church... in kindergarten

-Hunter’s an idiot for opening that pic in front of another person

-Also, was that Frankie’s screename because if so... ew

-Drew and Becky are back together now out of nowhere... wish I cared

[houseofdisdain-blog1]

Book Club, Part 4: Vampire Jane Fonda

Welcome back to BOOK CLUB, our 4-part book club about the movie Book Club. Previously, we discussed Diane Keaton’s least favourite friend. We’re back this week to tell you all about Jane Fonda and lesbian vampires.

R1: Her character, Vivian, is also the one most closely linked to Judge Sharon.  R2: We get a lot of bad photoshop at the beginning that lets us know that Vivian and Sharon went to Stanford together. And, to Diane’s credit, she does describe them as exceptional. R1: It’s something like: Judge Sharon, a federal judge, went to law school and of the 263 graduates in her year, 63 were women, and of those 63 women, only one became a federal judge. R2: What Diane doesn’t tell you is that all of the 200 male graduates became federal judges, too. It was a big year for federal judges. R1: Vivian is technically the founder of the titular book club, isn’t she? R2: Yes. It all started when V was like, hey friends, let’s go read this book — so did they all go to school together? That would make sense.  I can understand how Vivian and Carol know each other, because they work in similar worlds. Even though they don’t do anything in those worlds. I mean, Jane Fonda just rides her elevator up and down every single day. R1: Right, she’s this fabulously wealthy, sexually empowered hotelier. I think we’ve mentioned it before, but she’s basically the Christian Grey. And she lives in her fancy hotel.  R2: Which, by the way, has the worst security. There are multiple occasions where people just walk in on her after she’s told her staff to keep people out. She’s in her office and tells her secretary she can’t take her love interest’s call and then he just enters the room. And then she’s in her bedroom — R1: And all her friends just walk in! Although, that one’s on her. Lock your door, Jane! R2: Even her private rooftop view! She has this exclusive, private space set up at the top of her building but — R1: It’s not locked! Anyone can get in there! R2: You employ 150 people and not a single one is a security guard. R1: They’re too busy tickling her arm. R2: A scene that made me feel deeply uncomfortable, but I was okay with it for the sole reason that Frankie asks Grace to do that to her in season one of Grace and Frankie. So I choose to read this as Jane Fonda telegraphing to me, a conspiracy theorist, that she wants Grace and Frankie to be about lesbians.  R1: I guess we should go over her romance with someone who is tragically not Lily Tomlin.  R2: Oh, it’s pretty straightforward. Jane Fonda has had many lovers, but she only ever cared for one man. So of course she turned him down when he proposed.  R1: She’s a busy career woman! 

R2: And then he comes back into her life and melts her cold, career-oriented heart.  R1: Because she always held a candle for him.  R2: Her secret patio looks over their favourite diner. Jane Fonda rebuilt her entire hotel so that she could have a better view of her favourite date spot with a man she rejected. That’s bananas. I’m into it, but that’s bananas. Jane Fonda is out there sunbathing every night vampirically, looking out over the city and saying to herself, I don’t want to marry that man I just want to look longingly at the place where he proposed to me every night. I love it. That’s romance.  R1: Definitely more romantic than bringing that man up to your vampire hideaway and falling asleep while he tickles your arm. R2: Absolutely. R2: What else does Jane Fonda do? R1: She goes shopping with Candice Bergen and buys her the shapewear. R2: Why wasn’t Jane Fonda the lesbian? Someone should’ve been a lesbian. All book clubs should have at least one lesbian.   R1: I mean, they both could be. R2: That’s true. It could’ve been the established lesbian helping the late-in-life lesbian. But no, that’s not for Diane Keaton, the kisser of the men. They are all obviously heterosexual.  R1: She really goes out of her way to assure Andy Garcia that her first kiss — R2: That conversation really felt like Diane Keaton sharing a personal memory, I’m just saying — R1: It did. Don’t worry, Andy, my playground kiss was definitely, absolutely heterosexual.  R2: Relatedly, throughout the entire movie, every character keeps trying to tells us 50 Shades is so sexy. Mary even wildly asserts that this book is a love story. Everyone needs love! Sex isn’t enough, Jane Fonda! You heartless flax-wench! R1: You’re not better than me, JANE! R2: Diane Keaton probably definitely read 50 Shades and went, wow this is so sexy, I wish a man would coerce me into dating him by first leading to believe that my greatest fear of a plane crashing will come true.  R1: True love. R2: It’s a masterpiece of a movie, but it would’ve been truly transcendent if Jane Fonda’s one true love had been played by Lily Tomlin. R1: There should have been lesbians. Or vampires. R2: Or lesbian vampires.  R1: Judge Sharon is halfway there. She’s up all night. She never sleeps. She just Bumbles.  R2: Do you think her life would be more fun if she was a vampire? R1: Vampire federal judge!! R2: Why isn’t there a movie about a lesbian vampire federal judge? R1: I guess we’re writing it. R2: We’re taking your fanfiction away from you, Diane. R1: This is our book club now. 

Thank you all for joining us for BOOK CLUB, our book club about the movie Book Club (2018). Do you know of any movies about vampire federal judges? Please let us know. We’re desperate. 

[bassoonboss182]

Degrassi Next Class Season 1: My Thoughts

No one asked but I thought I’d post my overall thoughts on season 1 in one big ass post in order to avoid hitting the post limit super early. I’ll talk about characters, relationships, and the plot in general. Just a warning, this is a long ass post.

Characters:

Maya: Oh, you poor thing. She’s been through entirely too much this season. I love that she’s trying to pursue her music dream at such a young age (even though I miss her cello ☹) I think from now on she needs to make her Twitter (or whatever their equivalent is) private from now on to avoid the troll nonsense. I dig Feminist Maya, but she needs a little work. She needs to do a bit more research instead of relying on Goldi to inform her on things. Hopefully, next season will be better for her. She can heal from her break up with Zig and all the social media nonsense.

Zig: *sigh* I love this damn boy but god dammit he is dumb sometimes. Jealousy is a relatively normal emotion when it comes to relationships, but good lord. He let that shit get to his head for no reason. Maya showed no signs of being done with Zig, so I don’t really understand why the obsession of Jonah taking Maya was so intense for him. I’m pissed he slept with Zoe. Even more so I’m pissed that it was so easy. “Are you sure?” Really? Really Zig? I’m mad that he lied to Maya about it for so long. He destroyed their relationship for no reason.

Grace: I like Grace. I feel like she’s one of the only characters that has any common sense. She’s knowledgeable about a lot of things that I feel like should be common knowledge ie: consent, rape, feminism. It sucks that she has CF. She seems to be dealing with it okay I guess. Kinda weird that this is the first time we’ve heard about it even though she’s been around for a couple seasons now.

Zoe: I go back and forth with her. She’ll do things and will make me proud but then she messes it up by doing something dumb as hell. I hope next season she figures herself out.

Tristan: Running for class president was a good thing for him, and I think being president looks good on him. I don’t like all this random hooking up stuff he’s doing. It’s obvious he’s doing it to try and get over Miles but its not working and he’s not being safe about it. He needs to be on his own and heal. He probably needs therapy.

Miles: Hoooo boy. He (as well as his siblings) needs therapy and bad. I know he’s in it now for his drug addiction but he needs it for other things as well. His whole family should be in family counseling. I don’t know why his mom ignored him for so long. I think he also needs to spend time alone. He’s not over Tristan and whatever this relationship with Esme is isn’t healthy either. He needs to heal so he can have a healthy relationship in the future. It’s clear he has some sort of undiagnosed illness. (Anxiety, PTSD maybe?) He needs help.

Frankie: Poor thing spent the whole season whining about Winston and then when she wasn’t she was being all weird with Jonah. She needs some type of help so she can finally start healing and discover who she is now. I don’t think a relationship is going to help that but I dunno. She needs to heal. She needs some help.

Hunter: Honestly since his introduction, I’ve had no reason to like him. He was kinda meh at the beginning but then he just kept getting worse. Horrible cyber bullying, threatening to shoot up the school etc. He honestly scares me. He showed no remorse for the shit he did to Maya. He needs serious help.

Esme: So far I don’t like her. It’s obvious that she’s not well. She needs some serious help, she needs to stay away from prescription drugs and whatever else she has. Hopefully, Miles can convince her to get help.

Winston: He didn’t do anything noteworthy this season. He told Miles’ mom about his drug addiction, which was great. He asked out Frankie to the Snow Ball, to which she said no on the day of. I dunno. Not a fan of him, but he didn’t really do anything this season.

Lola: I’m on the fence about her. I’m not really a fan, I feel like she’s not that great of a friend. I dunno. Meh.

Shay: She’s cool I guess. She needs to stop listening to Lola and just follow her heart.

Tiny: He is such a science nerd and I love it. Very supportive and a good friend.

Yael: Don’t know her all that well. I think it’s fucked up that she went along with Hunter’s revenge on Maya so easily, but I’m glad she felt bad about it. I dunno. Not quite a fan but I don’t know her enough.

Vijay and Baaz: I think Vijay is adorable. I thought his date with Tristan was cute and was kinda sad that it didn’t work out. Hopefully, he’ll find someone nice next season. I don’t know anything about Baaz. He didn’t stand out all that much this season. Pretty much the same feelings about the Maya situation.

Goldi: She seems cool. Weird that it took so long to have a character with a hijab. I hope she has a good storyline overall. I dig her so far.

Jonah: I still don’t really know how to feel. He’s kind of annoying, but he’s very talented.  I dunno, we’ll see.

 Relationships:

Zaya: *sighs heavily* I waited so god damn long for this damn ship and Zig (and Zoe) mess it up. I love them and as much as I want them to get back together…I dunno. Maya deserves someone who won’t cheat on her so easily, even though he’s super cute. I was hoping they would be endgame.

Grace and Zoe (no seriously what’s their ship name?): I find it��hard to believe that Grace is straight? I don’t believe that she would fake it for this long. And if she really is straight…why did she let it get so far? I mean I know she didn’t want to hurt Zoe but that obviously backfired. Idk. It was kinda cute but I guess we’re not gonna see that anymore?

Miles and Tristan/Triles: They’re not over each other. I think they’ll get back together, but they both need to heal and get some help. I think they both absolutely need therapy.

Frankie and Winston: I guess this doesn’t technically count because they didn’t get back together but whatever. I wasn’t really a fan, to begin with and since Frankie is with Jonah I don’t have to worry about it.

Frankie and Jonah: Ehhhh. I don’t really like it yet. Still feels very weird. Maybe I’ll like it later?

Tiny and Shay: I was kind of weird about them at first but it might be okay. I feel like they’re more compatible than Tiny and Lola but I dunno. Shay’s parents would make this relationship difficult.

Tiny and Lola: Not a fan, mostly because I don’t really like Lola.

Tristan and Vijay: Could be cute once Tristan is ready.

Hunter and Yael: This might be strictly platonic but either way I’m not a fan and Yael deserves better.

Miles and Esme: They both need help. They need to spend time away from each other. She’s not good for him right now.

Overall Thoughts on Season 1:

I was expecting the move to Netflix to make the show different, or at least bring new plot lines, but it was basically the same as they were before. I mean I guess that’s not that bad of a thing but it was unexpected. They brought back plotlines that we’ve seen before multiple times (Cancer/rare disease, school shooter, drama at a school dance, cheating, someone thinking they had an STD/STI) which was kind of disappointing. I feel like there’s surely some other plot points they could introduce, right? I don’t know. I’m hoping they come up with some new stuff for the next couple of seasons.

In conclusion: Use condoms every time. Don’t cheat. Don’t do drugs. Go to therapy. Put your Twitter on private.

[callmehawkeye]

Watched in 2019

Big Little Lies (Season 1): This is such a solid cast and story, albeit predictable. I loved it as a mini-series and do not understand why it needs a second season; but I’ll be watching regardless. 

Taylor Swift Reputation Stadium Tour (2018): IIIIIIIIIII don’t think this setting is the best for Taylor. I go back and forth on her as a person often, but dig over half her catalog. The big theatrical show doesn’t quite suit her particular stage presence. She is great when just talking to the crowd with her guitar or piano. Regardless, she was definitely having fun, it was entertaining enough, and it’s cool she put this up on Netflix so I don’t have to amputate a body part to afford a ticket.

If Beale Street Could Talk (2018): Without a doubt, this is perhaps the most genuine and fulfilling depiction of a (hetero) romantic love story put to film I’ve witnessed in recent memory. The actors and their chemistry were breathtaking. 

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018): Hands down the best Spider-Man movie to date. Soundtrack was perfection. Story was great. Characters were amazing. I want to protect Miles with my dying breath. Unique animation. Deservedly kicked Disney’s ass this award season.

Bumblebee (2018): Oddly endearing? Easily the best Transformers movie, and the only one I’ll recognize.

A Star is Born (2018): I’m sure I’d like this more if I weren’t a fan of the other 3. Lacked subtlety. Overhyped. It’s fine. The only best part was the rehab scene.

Fyre Fraud (2019): The Hulu documentary about the disastrous Fyre Festival. Superior of the two, in production and scope.

Abducted in Plain Sight (2017): WHAT. THE. FUCK. A must-see for true crime enthusiasts. 

Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes (2019): This is more or less the same thing if you have already spent a little more time on this case than the average person. Good content for first-timers.

Girlfriends Day (2017): A nice, fast watch to pass the time.

Fyre Festival (2019): The other Fyre Festival documentary. To me, the lesser because it is produced from people who were on the inside. Which you’d think, “Oh so then they’d know.” But their bias and attempts to scrub themselves from the narrative are obvious.

The Favourite (2018): This made my little queer heart so happy. Great characters. 

Everybody Knows (2019): A little on the nose in the mystery itself (just watch the actors in the background). But the performances were great. Loved the setting. Appropriate ending. Good job.

Isn’t It Romantic (2019): I loved this. I feel like I’ve written something exactly like this before. Very endearing and satisfying to watch.

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (2019): It felt a little long, unsatisfying at some parts and rushed. But it’s a great bookend to a great series.

They Shall Not Grow Old (2019): Very impressive filmmaking and editing. I loved learning how they accomplished it in the featurette at the end of the screening.

Arctic (2019): Now THIS is how you make a survival movie. 90 minutes. No romance. Brutal reality without becoming melodramatic. Mads Mikkelsen cast in the lead...

Don’t Knock Twice (2016): Pleh. I hated the pacing and editing. Called out the “twist” immediately as a joke because I didn’t expect this movie to be that nuanced (magic done without permission, even with the intent to be good, is bad magic).

Captain Marvel (2019): My god this was so much fun and rejuvenated my interest in the MCU. I’m absolutely dreading Endgame and not for the reasons you think.

Greta (2019): Great performances, absolutely tense, very creepy and fun.

1922 (2017): What a great fucking motif.

Climax (2019): This was quite the sit. A literal 90 minute bad LSD trip from an up-close perspective. God I hated it.

Michael Che Matters (2016): I’ve never seen a standup special start so strong and progressively get weaker like this before...

Us (2019): As I said on Twitter --  it seems to me primarily casual or non-horror fans think Us is the greatest horror film of all time and is going to rejuvenate or “save” the genre. Then primarily veteran fans think it’s weak and vague. I think both viewpoints are shortsighted and formed from either category being stuck in their perspectives. For me, the movie was neither. (I loved it).

The Beach Bum (2019): Another movie I can’t believe I sat all the way through.

Leaving Neverland (2019): I stand with Wade and James.

Queer Eye (Season 3): Who needs antidepressants? Not me!

Homecoming: A Film By Beyoncé (2019): Beychella reigns once again!!

Dancing Queen (Season 1): This was very sweet. I never thought I could sit through anything with insufferable dance moms, but Justin/Alyssa makes it so engaging and watchable. Stupid to end on a cliffhanger, however.

Avengers: Endgame (2019): ..............B+ At least it was a million times better than Infinity War. And I had fun.

Booksmart (2019): This hit so close to home. Sure, the coming of age movie is nothing new. But there was something liberating about the characters in this one that were terribly stereotypical and much more relatable. To me, anyway.

Long Shot (2019): Great music, great relationship, great laughs. This was a fun, solid watch of a romcom.

Hail Satan? (2019): I want to inject this documentary directly into my veins.

Amazing Grace (2019): The live footage of Aretha Franklin recording her Amazing Grace album at the church in Watts.

Meeting Gorbachev (2019): I got to see this documentary at a theater where Wener Herzog himself was hosting a Q&A and introduced this film. Maybe it made me more biased to liking it. But I honestly felt like I learned a lot.

Missing Link (2019): First movie of the year I didn’t complete/walked out of. I let it have an hour. First time I’ve ever been disappointed in Laika. I can’t believe it. It was so dull and I kept waiting for something to happen.

Little (2019): This was sweet. Issa Rae is dipped in gold. BUT it felt like there was an outline, not a script. Lots of dropped threads. And a weirdly out of place, glaring, punching-down trans joke??!

Tolkien (2019): Wow. I really liked this. Great pacing, shifting between time frames. Even better performances and relationships. Made me think of my own fellowship a lot. This is how biopics should be done.

The Biggest Little Farm (2019): WONDERFUL documentary covering the years of building up a sustainable farm from less than scratch.

The Hustle (2019): God, this was a long, humorless sit. At least Anne looked stunning.

The Sun is Also a Star (2019): This isn’t more realistic than romantic comedies, or teen love films. But it’s more enjoyable than most. The leads are great and have electric chemistry. New York is framed beautifully.

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (2019): I am blessed by this Keanu Reevessance.

Fleabag (Season 1): This is probably going to be the best thing I watch this year.

Fleabag (Season 2): Yup. Confirmed. Something very special would need to come along from June to December to change this mindset. I highly recommend this. Watch it. Go in blind. Watch it!!

Pavarotti (2019): I enjoy documentaries where I feel I really learn about the subject. Beautiful music, beautiful memories, beautiful life.

Rocketman (2019): I wish more biopics were like this. It was wonderful and such a grand time.

Lorena (2019): A deep dive into the Bobbitt case, including the woman herself. I have such empathy and love for Lorena. You should watch it and learn about the incident yourself.

The Last Man in San Francisco (2019): Go in blind. Don’t look it up. Just go. it’s the most beautiful film I’ve seen so far this year. I wish there were more male protagonists like this.

Toy Story 4 (2019): I was so skeptical. It more than exceeded my expectations. Just go in prepared to have your heart ripped in two.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019): They’re learning. Out of the newer films, this one has the less amount of people. Now make another film like this, only extend the monster fight scenes. Less. People.

Child’s Play (2019): This was fun. Not much more to say. More Aubrey in things!

Men in Black International (2019): Honestly, this was better than the second or third ones. I legitimately enjoyed myself. It was funny. The cast was charming. The otherworldly aliens were interesting. And I’m so proud of Les Twins.

Grace and Frankie (Season 5) :This is always a good time for me. I love watching this show when I want to take a break from more dedicated watches. I love these actresses with all my heart. June Diane Raphael is goals.

Midsommar (2019): This was such a fun aesthetic to watch. I was so uncomfortable throughout.

Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am (2019): Ugh, my hearrrrrtt.

Maiden (2019): Documentary about the first all-female crew who competed in the 1985-86 Whitbread Round the World Race. The woman next to me in the theater was the same age as the women featured in old footage and modern day talking head interviews -- and she was just sobbing by the end. Solidarity.

Frankenstein’s Monster’s Monster, Frankenstein (2019): 30 minutes well spent. Fucking hilarious.

Stranger Things (Season 3): God, what a fun season. I am still Steve.

Queer Eye (Season 4): I need 54 more seasons, kthx.

Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019): My absolute favorite battle sequence in a Marvel movie. Such a good time.

Hobbs & Shaw (2019): My first and last Fast movie. Goddamn I was so bored.

Bring the Soul: The Movie (2019): Wow, this was brutal. I get it wasn’t all of the footage, but they seemed to mostly focus on members being sick and injured and miserable. I didn’t understand the love for this movie when all it did was highlight how exhausted the boys are. I suppose it was meant to be inspiring, but I only felt bad for them. I just ranted about them needing a break and thank god they finally have one -- apt timing!

Burn the Stage: The Movie (2018): I went back to the earlier film with the hopes of... Higher hopes. And they were fulfilled. Such cute and uplifting footage.

Blinded by the Light (2019): God I love Springsteen. This movie is a great homage to his music. It’s not a straight-up musical, and that’s lovingly the point. Some things never change.

It: Chapter Two (2019): This was a slog compared to the first part. Much like the miniseries. Much like the book.

Parasite (2019): I, a college student with very little free time -- let alone free time to go to the movies -- saw this in theaters twice. I tried to go a third time but then finals happened. Go see it. Go see it blind. I'm not really doing end-year lists anymore but this is without a doubt my favorite film from 2019.

BTS World Tour: Love Yourself (2019): Most fun I've had in a theater in some time. I feel like I curled up into the tiniest ball at some point out of pure joy that couldn't be contained.

Frozen II (2019): This was quite plot-heavy for a sequel. I loved how many songs they were. It's an acceptable sequel. A lot of weak themes and choices, however, if you think about it for more than a few minutes. Overall delightful. 

Jojo Rabbit (2019): Speaking of delightful. Taika Waititi continues to be my favorite living writer-director. This is such a solid portrayal of Nazism without glorifying it. Always go the Mel Brooks route and make it a comedy; they can't turn it around and make the imagery propaganda. I have high hopes for Roman Griffin Davis and his future career.

Knives Out (2019): This was quite fun. I love a good mystery with a large ensemble cast like this. It didn't blow my mind of anything -- I saw every turn coming -- but that's just because I credit it to being such a lonely kid who read so many mystery novels.

2018 | 2017 | 2016 | 2015 | 2014

[kpop-wetdreams]

Tag Games~!

Tagged by the wonderful @kpopchangedme​

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THE LAST

Drink: Jasmine Green Tea with Lychee Jelly Phone call: My brother wondering where he was after the Halsey concert.  Text message: "Ah ok. I hope he feels better soon.” I was supposed to meet up with a friend for breakfast but her little brother felt sick so she had to raincheck. Song you listened to: Post Malone - rockstar ft. 21 Savage Time you cried: Last night at the Halsey concert when she was just talking to her fans and then sang ‘Bad at Love’.

HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: Nope. Kissed someone and regretted it: Well after the fact, after we broke up probably. Kind of like, oh we should’ve never dated xD Been cheated on: Yes Lost someone special: Yes Been depressed: I feel like everyone has these moments of depression but I’m lucky and its never lasted very long. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Once. Only once. 

3 FAVOURITE COLORS

Emerald Green, Cerulean, and crimson

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made new friends: Yes Fallen out of love: No Laughed until you cried: Yes! I was just at a John Mulaney show recently. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes. Oh the world of League of Legends xD Met someone who changed you: Maybe? I feel like they might’ve been sneaky about it and changed me (hopefully for the better) without me realizing it. Found out who your friends are: I actually usually keep a really close circle of friends but definitely Kissed someone on your Facebook list: My boyfriend! How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: Oh...uh... most? I don’t add strangers cause you know, stranger danger and all that. Do you have any pets: I have 3 dogs and 1 cat that is the size of my 3 dogs. Do you want to change your name: Nope! Even if I did at this point I really think I just wouldn’t remember to respond to anything else. What did you do for your last birthday: Watch Wonder Woman in the middle of the day. It was fantastic. What were you doing at midnight last night: Coming home from the AMAZING HALSEY CONCERT! And probably stuffing my face with food cause I was starving. Name something you can’t wait for: To go see my boyfriend again! When was the last time you saw your mom: Yesterday. I would say today but she’s sleeping right now xD What are you listening to right now: Post Malone - rockstar ft. 21 Savage Have you ever talked to a person named tom: Um I actually don’t think so... Something that is getting on your nerves: Well I don’t appreciate waking up early to have my friend cancel 40 minutes late but what can you do. Most visited website: Tumblr and Youtube Hair colour: Black (like my heart) Long or short hair: Long hair. Funny story: In grade 4 my mom took me to a sketch hair salon place and my hair was supposed to be cut into a bob that turned into a very short pixie cut. For a month I was constantly confused with my brother. Now I can’t have my hair shorter than my shoulders without feeling weird about it all. Do you have a crush on someone: My boyfriend <3 forever and ever. What do you like about yourself: I would like to think I’m pretty considerate of others. Blood type: AB+. THE BEST BLOOD TYPE HONESTLY. I’m useless to others and can accept all blood types. MUAHAHAHAHAHAAA. Nickname: Risa Relationship status: In a relationship with my boyfriend for over 3 years now! Zodiac: Gemini Pronouns: She/Her Favourite tv show: Hmm. I don’t know if I have an absolute favourite but there are shows that I love a lot like Grace and Frankie, Modern Family, Fresh off the boat, Kim’s Convenience, Bob’s Burgers and then a plethora of kdramas.  Tattoos: None yet but I do want one. Right or left handed: Right Surgery: Nope. Sport: Competitive sleeping. Otherwise I’m pretty decent at volleyball and swimming. Pair of shoes: Old worn in boots. Eating: Salty peppery deep fried chicken with noodles. Drinking: Nothing yet though I really should drink some water. I’m about to: Go find food and tell my boyfriend my friend cancelled. Waiting for: My cat to stop staring at me. Want: To stuff my face with food or go back to bed. Honestly, that’s probably the most prevalent dilemma in my life. Get married: To my boyfriend soon. Once he proposes. But we know we are getting married so I’m just coasting and waiting to get super super super fat. I’ve notified him of this. He is aware of my plans to become a balloon. It shall be glorious. Career: Exactly where I am right now.

WHICH IS BETTER

Hugs or kisses: Why not both? Lips or eyes: BOTH. Shorter or taller: Taller Older or younger: Before I was always I ONLY DATE OLDER MEN but my boyfriend is 5 months younger than me xD But we’re the same age so I don’t think age is too important anymore. Nice arms or nice stomach: Nice arms Hook up or relationship: Relationship Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker. I have a penchant for the drama. Kissed a stranger: Nope. Drank hard liquor: Yes. But now I prefer soju and calpis though is soju considered hard liquor? Lost glasses/contact lenses: NOT YET. PLEASE DON’T JINX ME. Turned someone down: Yes. Sex on the first date: Yes. Broken someone’s heart: Yes Had your heart broken: Yes. Being arrested: Nope and I don’t plan to. Fallen for a friend: Nope. Cried when someone died: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: Yes because who else has the energy to believe in me all the time? xD Miracles: Yes Love at first sight:  I don’t. I feel love is something that requires connection and knowledge about the other person. Love at first sight to me is more you’re attracted to them physically or maybe even an infatuation but I wouldn’t call it love. Santa Claus: I think I might’ve as a child but I love a super stereotypical Christmas so I do bake cookies for him every year. Kiss on the first date: If the date was really good then absolutely!