#Government Man Ep 20 - VIP

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #164

Brain Curds are lightly edited flash fiction - practically first drafts - posted daily (haven't missed one yet!) and sometimes written with the express intention of being terrible… but, you know, in an endearing way. Please like and reblog if you enjoy - the notes keep me going!

The following material is classified - unless you've read the rest of Government Man here on Tumblr!

Government Man and Government Woman climbed into the helicopter from opposite sides, his suit covered in blood and hers covered in the same blood, though slightly less of it. GM’s eyelids drooped like the bags beneath them, but GW’s eyes were wide open, staring a thousand yards out.

Government Man took his pistol from its holster and began cleaning it with deep focus and determination, though he knew he could never truly clean it of the blood it had spilled. Government Woman turned to him and watched as he ran the microfiber cloth over every surface of the gun.

“Do you… ever wonder if what we’re doing is… wrong, somehow?”

He glared at her. “How?”

“Aren’t we hurting people?”

Government Man blinked. “Speak for yourself, Government Woman.” He went back to cleaning.

The blades began spinning and Boss Man jumped into the seat opposite the others. He strapped in and the pilot took off.

“Great work, agents. The world is in your debit.”

“Debt.” Government Woman corrected him.

“Yes, debt for short. Now, without further ado, we must discuss your next mission.”

“Do we not get some kind of break, Boss Man?”

“Forces working against our government do not take breaks, Government Woman, so neither do we.”

“When is lunch?” Government Man asked.

“Noon, eastern time.”

Government Woman tilted her eyebrows. “Isn’t that seven-thirty PM local time?”

“We shall be in flight by then, so it does not really matter.”

“May I have the vegetarian meal?”

“No.”

The helicopter shook. Boss Man grabbed onto a hand hold.

“Turbulence.” The pilot said over the intercom.

“Shouldn’t we be at the airport by now?”

“Don’t be silly, Government Woman. If we were supposed to be at the airport by now, we would have landed. Right, pilot?”

The androgynous pilot turned around and saluted. “Right you are, Boss Man! You are very smart.”

Boss Man pushed his hair back. “Finally someone notices. Anyway, we must track down those missile launch codes as soon as we return to headquarters. Government Boy has recovered enough to help us search.”

The helicopter touched down and everyone got out. Government Woman looked around at the unfamiliar landscape: wide open nothing with a building in the middle of it.

“This isn’t the airport we landed at.” She noted.

“This is a special airport, just for CIA VIPs!” The pilot replied, gesturing to the building. “Please proceed through that rusty door for your security checkpoint.”

“Oh no!” She pulled out a jar from her pocket, which held a red scorpion. “You don’t think they’ll make me get rid of him, do you?”

Government Man scowled at her. “Why do you care so much for that stupid insect?”

“Scorpions are arachnids! And not stupid… And I think he’s pretty!”

Just as the four walked through the door, they were at gunpoint. Five nondescript henchmen had rifles pointed right at their heads.

“Hands up where I can see them!” One of them said.

“Aaah!” The pilot fake-screamed. “We’d better do what they say!”

Another henchman focused on Government Woman. “She’s got a grenade! Drop it!”

“No, no, he’s just a cute little scorpion! Leave him alone!”

“Drop it!”

She complied, letting the jar fall to the ground and shatter. The scorpion scurried off and hid in a crack in the brick wall.