#Good morning Hannibal community I made a meme because I have nothing better to do

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[velcroboyfriends]

2016 Year in Fic

I really enjoyed doing this write-up last year, and damn, a lot has changed! So I thought I’d do this again and take stock of my writing this past year.

I was ridiculously prolific last year, but due to a variety of factors I really didn’t keep up that volume this year. As someone who doesn’t often feel the spark to write, what kept me going this year were fic exchanges and prompt memes. I feel fortunate to have communities like AO3 and DW to keep me writing even when I’m drained and anxious and feel incapable of it. 

So here are the results:

Fic List

1. Miles High - 1853 words. It’s quite telling about my early-2016 experience that I didn’t write a single word of fic between January and April. Disaster had struck in my work life, but I made the decision to sign up for Smut Swap 2016 anyway, and I was glad for it. This was my first Poe/Finn/Rey fic; we’ll see if I have another in me when Episode VIII rolls around. I just really wanted to write the three of them fucking in a spaceship, okay?

2. Slash: Romance Without Boundaries - 2516 words. I have only the AO3 volunteer community to thank/blame for this pile of trash. They play a game called Slash, in which competitors are challenged to write cracky pairings in weird situations. This led to me writing such pairings as Batman/Grantaire, James Bond/Remus Lupin and Will Graham & Tigger, as well as a very bizarre song parody about Aaron Burr’s encounters with a Drumpf-shaped sex doll. idk you guys. I’m sorry.

3. Bluebeard’s Wives - 1661 painstaking words. I wrote this for Not Prime Time 2016, and I’m really glad the exchange forced me to, because otherwise I would never have written the work I’m most proud of. I wanted to write something dark and twisted and beautiful, and to capture Hannibal’s inner monologue with all its vivid imagery, and somehow I halfway managed it. This was the first fic that ever earned me a place in a fandom spotlight post, and I’m very proud of that. It was my first Hannibal work and will probably be my last, but I enjoyed it.

4. On Not Being Alone - 4103 words. It took me til August this year to write something born purely of the desire to write, not a deadline. I’d been binge-watching Critical Role all summer, and after I reached the scene that precedes this fic in canon, I found myself in a whirlwind of writing. I wrote this near-obsessively over the course of 24-ish hours, and it was incredibly exciting to want to write again. It’s just a PWP, but it was so refreshing.

5. In the Middle of Summer - 2344 words. This was the only Richlee fic I wrote all year, and I’m sad to say it’ll probably be my last. There’s a chance I might pick up interest in participating in the fandom again - and I still get stupid hearteyes over the both of them - but the spark has just waned. I wrote this for a challenge for Richard’s birthday, and without that event I probably wouldn’t have written it. However, I did have fun with one last hurrah.

6. Between the Two of Us - 4584 words. Aand this is where I embraced my trash-goblin self and started writing Critical Role RPF. Even while I was gorging on CR all spring and summer, it never occurred to me that people would write RPF about the cast until I stumbled upon the awesome Five Minute Break. At first I was like ‘ew no’ but then I read it and was hooked. My giant crush on Liam melded with my new-found fascination with sub!Matt and a new fandom obsession was born. This was also my first seriously kinky fic!

7. Girls’ Night - 3218 words. This was partially written because of the criticalkink kink meme, but also because I felt bad leaving Marisha out of the fun in my Liam/Matt fic. It was my first time writing any sort of femslash, and I loved it.

8. I’ll Pencil You In - 3107 words. I entirely wrote this because of criticalkink and the little Liam/anyone reverse-prompt I set up in there. Normally I would never have thought to write Liam/Sam, but I ended up enjoying it a lot, primarily because of how the power dynamic shifted their characters. It was also my first time writing kink negotiation, which was really fun.

9. Break Time - 996 words. Again, this was written for criticalkink. The prompt got into my head and wouldn’t go away. I tend to struggle with writing kissing, so this was a fun little challenge to write a fic that simply consisted of the build-up and the kiss.

10. Like the Bright Morning Stars - 3855 words. This was written for Yuletide. I was scared of this fic for the longest time, because smut is (obviously) my favored terrain and my recipient specifically said they did not want any sexual content. So for once I had to focus on plot and emotions and world-building, and that is HARD, Y’ALL. It’s very easy to churn out some sex; not so much to craft love. But it really paid off, because I loved this and it seems like a lot of other people did as well!

11. Into My Arms - 1843 words. Another prompt-fill from criticalkink. I had a lot of fun writing something simple and sweet and in a position/circumstance I had never written before. I also enjoy a good text convo in fic, so that was fun as an opener.

Total Word Count: (so far) 30,080 words. 

Overall Thoughts: Word-count-wise, I wrote less than half of what I wrote last year, but just as many individual works, which is pretty good. And it’s far, far better than 0, which had been my usual word-count for the past five years before last year. If last year was an exercise in writing for fun, this year was an exercise in pushing myself to write even when I was tired or sad or anxious, and I learned that I’m capable of a lot more than I thought.

Personal Best Story: 100% Bluebeard’s Wives. The vignette style, the imagery, the spare narration, the nuance - I’m proud of every word. If I ever write something better than this, that will be an enormous victory.

Personal Favorite Story: I really like I’ll Pencil You In. It was the first CR RPF story where I really felt like I knew what I was doing, and I really like that even in a scene of bondage and domination, there’s palpable softness, intimacy and sweetness between two friends.

Most Underappreciated Story: I was expecting a lot more traffic on Miles High, because I was writing a really popular pairing in a very popular fandom - but I suppose that when there are a lot of works going up in a fandom at once, it can be even harder to get recognition than it is when you’re writing for a very small fandom. And I don’t think my heart was really in it, which probably showed in the writing.

Most Popular Story: By hits alone, it’s On Not Being Alone, which makes sense, as it’s a simple PWP about a popular pairing in a small-but-growing fandom. By kudos, it’s Like the Bright Morning Stars, which is nice, given that I really didn’t think it was that good until it got such a fervent response. It also wins for kudos-per-hit, with ~19% of viewers giving kudos.

Story with the Sexiest Moment: Girls’ Night, man. Every inch of that is ridiculously sexy to me. The face-sitting, the manhandling, the dualingus... yes. Last year in my response to this question I mentioned that I felt my sex writing was getting a bit stale, and in the latter half of this year I feel I rose to the challenge and really mixed things up.

Most “Holy Crap That’s Wrong Even for Me” Moment: Basically all of Bluebeard’s Wives. There’s gore, there’s murder, there’s twisted relationship dynamics... yeahh. I also felt very wrong writing CR RPF, and continue to feel a bit weird about it - but I love it too much to give it up.

Story That Shifted My Perceptions of a Character: I felt like I really got to know Hannibal through writing Bluebeard’s Wives. I began to understand his way of thinking. I also really changed my perceptions of Sam through I’ll Pencil You In, by exploring him in a completely unfamiliar situation and entering subspace for the first time.

Most Fun to Write: Writing those crackfics for the Slash games was really fun, but also nerve-wracking. It’s hard to say if anything I wrote was purely fun with no worry involved, but I probably enjoyed myself the most writing my two Liam/Sam works, because they’re so good for one another and Sam is just a ball of joy.

Hardest Story to Write: Bluebeard’s Wives was a slog through hell as far as the writing process went. When I was done I was happy, but up until that point I had no clue what I was doing and nothing felt good enough. I considered every single word to within an inch of its life. But it all paid off, I think.

Favorite OC: The only OC I wrote this year was the nameless girl from Bluebeard’s Wives. I liked her, though - she was defiant until the end. She didn’t buy into Hannibal’s shit.

Biggest Surprise: Every moment of my Slash game fics was a surprise. Buffy almost getting the Half-Blood Prince’s book, Batman rescuing Grantaire, Hannibal eating Voldy, “The World Was Wide Enough” being rewritten about a Drumpf sex doll, AVPM!Ron seducing Voldemort with Red Vines, Will Graham shooting Tigger, James Bond kissing Remus, Jack Sparrow rescuing Enjolras... it’s all fucking weird and surprising, and that’s the beauty of the game.

Most Unintentionally Personal Story: I really can’t say any of my works this year ended up very personal. Perhaps what’s personal is how many of my kinks and trash-goblin shipping tendencies I revealed.

Favorite Lines/Scenes:

The morning-after scene in Between the Two of Us feels very true to Matt and Liam’s dynamic, and very tender.

I loved writing kink negotiation in I’ll Pencil You In.

From my Slash fics: “There were many reasons why Buffy always avoided the Hogwarts library. One was that studying was, like, so 1996, and that any sixth-year worth her salt (liberally sprinkled in a circle to ward off whatever) did not bother with books. The other was that creepy librarian who kept telling her it was her destiny to save the world from vampires or whatever. That was super species-ist, for one thing - didn't Professor Giles know that anti-vampire bias was waaay 15th-century? Buffy had hoped the world had come further than that. It was sad enough when that werewolf professor had to quit without her adding to the whole problem. As if.”

From Bluebeard’s Wives: “He cooks a wonderful meal for the three of them. He offers to give up his portion. He washes their hair in the bath. He washes their feet. He sketches Abigail into a copy of Gentileschi's Judith Slaying Holofernes, Bedelia by her side, holding the figure of Holofernes - Hannibal himself, in this copy, although he has never been a self-portraitist - as Abigail slices at his neck. Blood sprays forth in a fountain. Will hangs it upon the wall unsmiling. He brings home a scrappy little spinone, the lovely thing's ears drooping with long fur. Will says the city is no place for a dog. And none of it is enough.“

All of Girls’ Night. Just all of it.

Lines/Scenes I’d Like to Change:

Basically all of Like the Bright Morning Stars. But it seemed to work for readers, so what do I know?

I’d like to let Finn shine more in Miles High; ditto for Laura in Girls’ Night.

The pacing in Break Time could have been a little more leisurely; same for Into My Arms.

Top Five Scenes I Wish Could Be Illustrated:

Vox Machina taking the stage in Like the Bright Morning Stars

Hannibal’s copy of Judith Slaying Holofernes in Bluebeard’s Wives

Basically all of Girls’ Night

James Bond kissing Remus and then being decked by Sirius

The kiss from Break Time

2017 Writing Ambitions:

I just want to keep writing, be it fic or RP or the possibility of non-fannish fiction. I’m not going to set an ideal wordcount, because I’ll end up disappointed, but I just want to write more than 0 words. And I want to write at least one thing I’m truly proud of.

Fic ideas for this year:

Sequel to Like the Bright Morning Stars - titled Like the Rolling Waters and in the works for SFBB 2017!

The last two reverse-prompts from criticalkink: Liam/Matt playful jokeyness and Liam/Laura/Travis threesome (!!!!)

MOAR POLYMACHINA

And whatever the hell I think of next!