#Good for me tho I love torturing both of them (especially Catherine)

[inkperch]

Every time I remember this, I get more tempted to write a Catherine angst fic that combines it with a specific little factoid we learn in her support with Lysithea-

The chaos of war

One thing I think gets lost in the endless flood of “lol it’s unfinished” comments surrounding Crimson Flower is that the route portrays the chaotic conditions that arise in war far more elegantly than Gronder Field in Azure Moon and Verdant Wind could ever hope to.

AM and VW insists that fog, which totally exists, trust us bro, caused Dimitri and Claude to be unable to recognize the armies of each other despite all three armies wearing color-coded uniforms.

Meanwhile, in Crimson Flower, at Tailltean, the allied Kingdom and Church armies are soundly defeated by the Black Eagle Strike Force in spite of their pride and honor, and their sacred weapons, Crested blood, golems, and Relics. And their ultimate defeat comes not at the hands of the Sword of the Creator, or Aymr, or the Black Eagles themselves but from the weather.

The Kingdom and the Church intend to strike the Imperial army down with a simple by effective pincer attack:

And Hubert concludes on his own that their allied armies would be very difficult for the Imperial army to overcome:

But then just as battle is about to start…

Rain starts, preventing the church forces from finding either their allies or their enemies. This forces Dimitri into an unenviable position when the Empire finds him before his allies do;

And ultimately, Rhea arrives so late that the Black Eagles have had considerable time to maul the isolated Kingdom army;

This is reflected in game that the church forces don’t show up until you’re deep in Kingdom territory. And a good thing too, given some of the golems and falcon knights spawn right on top of where you begin the map. Imagine if they spawned on Enemy Phase 1? That’d certainly make the map more interesting.

So for all the holy force present on both sides of conflict (though more on the allied Kingdom and church’s side), it’s something as simple as rain that lays the groundwork for their defeat.

[dillydedalus]

february reading

truly the month of the 2.5 to 3/5 star books

the testaments, margaret atwood y’all.... i was bracing myself for disappointment but yikes. the first half is semi-decent, with at least the storylines of aunt lydia’s (alleged) diaries and the testimony of a girl raised in gilead opening up some interesting themes (the third, from the pov of a canadian teen, is a fucking disaster from the beginning), but the second half genuinely reads like generic dystopian YA, it’s predictable & tropey & silly & the prose becomes bad, real bad, ‘is atwood okay’ bad. 1.5/5

paul takes the form of a mortal girl, andrea lawlor really cool & propulsive picaresque about paul polydoris, a queer student in the early 90s who can shapeshift (yeah) & explores what that means for his identity,  learning to reject attempts to force him into binary categories. it’s a fun read, but it felt a bit directionless (picaresque i know), and like... i read a lot of this on my commute & there really is nothing like sitting on the train, in a half-awake daze, and your book throwing a fisting scene at you. 3/5

delusions of gender: the real science behind sex differences, cordelia fine nonfiction book dedicated to debunking claims about the neurological basis of sex differences. it’s from 2010 so prob a lil dated (scientifically i assume, as well as a relative lack of intersectional analysis), but it’s a good overview of why such claims are often based on flawed or misleading studies (like one on toy preference where monkeys where presented w/ gendered toys, such as the clearly female-coded pan, which like... it’s a monkey...). the section on supposedly gender-neutral childraising was particularly interesting & depressing. 3/5

silence, shusaku endo (tr. from japanese by william johnston) historical novel about the oppression & persecution of christians in 17th century japan - the protagonist, a young priest, secretly travels to japan to find his mentor & ends up betrayed & captured, under threat of torture, struggling with his own doubts about his faith. it’s interesting but preeetty damn slow. also tbh i can’t really relate to the struggle of whether or not you should step on an image of jesus to save yourself or others from torture/execution. (to be fair depending on your reading god does break his silence to be like ‘dude. just step on the fucking image.’) 2.5/5

the garden of the finzi-contini, giorgio bassani (tr. from italian by william weaver) a melancholy novel in which a jewish-italian narrator looks back at his youth & early adulthood thru the lense of his relationship to the finzi-contini, a very rich jewish family whose daughter, micòl, he was in love with. although the narrative is slow and leisurely, the growing antisemitism and the narrator’s retrospective knowledge of what is to come makes this quite haunting & unsettling. what’s also unsettling is the narrator’s campaign of sexual harrassment against micòl in the end of the book, which is painted as silly, lovesick weakness, rather than, you know, harrassment. 2.5/5 why are men like this

white is for witching, helen oyeyemi i love an evil house, i love an evil house that gets to narrate (!!!), i love (conceptually!!!) an evil xenophobic white supremacist parasitic house that loves & starves its daughters. conceptually & thematically oyeyemi sets up a lot of really cool shit about haunting & grief & race/whiteness & yanno, evil parasitic houses that eat you from the inside, but i don’t think the resolution of these themes really works & a lot of the build-up just kinda deflates (the brother especially is kinda pointless). idk. i want to read more from oyeyemi tho. 2.5/5

vater unser, angela lehner (no english translation yet) the blurb for this is big cringe (’you’ve never seen a crazy person like this!’ like bitch i have to see myself every damn day) & the bones of this are not super original (mentally ill compulsive-liar narrator gets herself committed, manipulates everyone around her) but it’s pretty well-executed with a strong & funny voice, lots of austrian-specific weirdness, & a nice zippy pace. the twist is a bit predictable but still well-done imo. 2.5/5

interior chinatown, charles yu really smart experimental novel(ish) about one willis wu, struggling actor, trying to work his way up from Generic Asian Man to Kung Fu Guy in a strange shadow-world-version of chinatown where everyone is an actor & everything is part of the set. this strange half-world & the fact that much of the novel is in script-form are both really clever & also work really well in setting up the novel’s deeper point (i.e. not just that the film industry sucks if you’re any kind of minority, but that the stereotypical roles one is assigned in a culture have deeper repercussions in terms of identity and self-perception). it’s also a really funny books, and the epigraphs for each chapter are *chef’s kiss*. 3.5/5

die erfindung der deutschen grammatik, rasha abbas (tr. from arabic by sandra hetzl, no english translation) funny little collection of very short stories by a young syrian journalist & author who moved to berlin in 2014. the stories are for me most part about her experiences as a refugee, learning german, dealing with german bureaucracy & so on, often with a slightly surreal twist. fun but not super substantial or anything. 2.5/5

northanger abbey, jane austen tbh henry tilney is a condescending ass & the whole thing about him only falling in love with catherine bc she is so in love with him is a big yikes from me but it is so charming & funny (the thorpes! the narrator!) & catherine is so sweet, so ready to suspect gothic misdeeds & so naive when it comes to the much more commonplace cruelties that like, i still love it. 3.5/5

a thread of grace, mary doria russell historical novel about the nazi occupation of northern italy from ‘43 onwards, told thru various perspectives of partisans & resistance members, italian jews and jewish refugees in hiding, and catholic clergy involved with the resistance efforts. given that topic, it’s often brutal and depressing but there is always that (title drop) thread of grace in seeing the heroism of the partisans and the people who aided them & hid thousands of jewish refugees from the nazis. and russell just always brings so much humanity to her characters. not as good as the sparrow, but man, russell is great. 3.5/5

eure heimat ist unser albtraum,  ed. fatma aydemir & hengameh yaghoobifarah & many many others (german, no translation yet) 2019 anthology about racism in germany, what it means to be a minority in germany, and why ‘heimat’ (~home(land)) is a problematic concept. as it is w/ anthologies it’s a mixed bag & i will say that i don’t think it’s as radical as it presents as overall but i think the #discourse in germany just ain’t as advanced as it is in the us&uk. 3/5

currently reading: gideon the ninth (i have no idea what’s going on but it’s very stylish)

[hatsukoi-butterfly]

Nothing Left to Cling To Review

Spoiler alert!!

First at all, I want to start with Jolex storyline since it's the only one I care about what I waited for the most. The first scene of the episode where they're taking everything that can be dangerous for Jo hurts me so much, especially when they took her ring. Honestly, almost every scene of Jolex made me so sad - how she tells Alex that he has a way out, or how she tells him he doesn't deserve someone who breaks like glass. I hate seeing her so sad, I hate that she thinks of herself as crazy only because she has mental illness. Yes, it's a big part of who she is now, but she's also a brilliant surgeon, super smart person and has such a good personality. She has depression, but it doesn't mean she doesn't deserve love. I was a bit annoyed with the fact Alex didn't tell her all of that after she repeatedly talked about her "craziness" and how he deserves better, but I'll let it go since he clearly had a rough time too. I love that Richard made him realise that he needs to give Jo a reason to stay, but I have to admit the second proposal was a bit awkward. I loved their conversation, but they're already married (I don't care they didn't send the marriage license!!!) So proposing again was weird. However, I really love how he admitted that he thought of leaving but then realised she makes him a better person and he wants to grow old with her and he loves her in sickness and health. It was beautiful. And she jiggles before he kissed her!! I always noticed how she jiggles every time she is going to kiss him or he's going to kiss her and I told myself that the moment she does that, the moment we know she got a little bit better.

Now, Teddy and Owen. I have to admit Teddy is my least favorite Grey's character, or one of my least favorites at least. I really dislike her. I also think he storyline is Owen is stupid and the whole Owen Tom Teddy Amelia thing is annoying as fuck. If I were Tom I would get so mad about what she did to him, but he didn't because he still loves her. I feel sorry for him. He deserves love and be happy and she clearly not the person for him. However, I liked how they showed that she has trouble being a mom. I said couple of times that I can't really "think" of her as a mother, and I'm glad they showed that it's indeed not easy for her. She's a work person, she doesn't really know how to handle it. Also OWEN OFFERING TO MILK HER?? I laughed my ass off oh my god. It was so freaking funny. It's such Owen thing to do. I really disliked how she told him they need a new house tho. Really? Giving away your perfect house only because "this is not how we supposed to start our relationship"? Ridiculous, in my opinion. I hope they'll have less problems from now on, I am sick of the whole love triangle or whatever that thing is. I hope they can focus more on her struggle of being a mom and still be the good surgeon she is.

Amelia and Link! I really like them together, I ship them. I found the way Amelia wanted to take things slow so nice - Grey's always jump into things, people sleeping with people instead of going to actual dates and such so I loved that they actually dates. The whole... Sex with more than one person was a bit weird, but it's such and Amelia thing to do lmao. I loved how Link just went with it, they really fit each other. He's more open minded than Owen and it makes them work. And he's so sweet! I didn't like him at first but now I really do. I also LIVE for his relationship with Alex. Let Jo's boys be friends!! Anyway, now I want to talk about Amelia's pregnancy. It's... First of all, a lot of people in the fandom guessed it's going to happen and I don't know how?? I didn't see it coming, really. And I don't like this storyline, to be honest. Amelia just started to have some "normality" in her life after the whole Owen Teddy Leo Betty whatever thing. She dates and she's happy and now all of the sudden she's pregnant? They didn't really had to do that, I hope she's not REALLY pregnant even though it might breaks her. Also, I'm 100% she's pregnant with Owen's baby because they want thr drama. Urgh.

Jackson and Maggie. I shipped them at the beginning then noticed they're very toxic to each other so I'm glad this is over, but I didn't like how it went. Maggie got SO mad which partly makes sense because he did leave her alone, but I didn't think that's what she'll be so mad about. To be honest, I would like more if they made Jackson seriously hurt - not because I hate him, I LOVE him! - but because it feels like they have nothing to do with him now so they're just giving him random storylines and not very interesting ones. Maybe this could make his story a bit more interesting to watch. I feel bad for Maggie tho, she's really hurt and she's so sensitive I feel sorry for her. I don't know much about Vick from station 19, I only saw one episode of that, but they seemed cute together. I saw a lot of people are against that so I don't know what to think. We'll see where it goes. I just want both Maggie and Jackson to be happy. Not necessarily means they'll have a romantic relationship with someone - Japril was an endgame for me, so for now I think he can be happy without a girlfriend just like Meredith was fine until now. But if he goes with Vick, that's nice too. As for Maggie... She needs someone ad nerd as her lol. I hope she finds someone. I liked her with Deluca, how about making them getting back together? I don't know.

Meredith and Deluca. I REALLY dislike their relationship, I can't stand it, it makes not sense. However, they were barely together this episode so it wasn't a torture to watch lol. Meredith collecting garbage makes me laugh SO much everytime I see it, I live for this. This is just great. And when Bailey asked if he can wear Meredith jacket for school? I laughed so much. And when Zola asked how to spell criminal. It's so sad it's just extremely funny lol. We all know she'll get her medical licence back, she's Meredith Grey and everything and you can't have a medical drama without the main character lol. For now I'm fine with her collecting garbage because it's so funny.

Some other tiny things - I can clearly see why Richard is so mad and while I don't understand why he doesn't retire I don't really get why Catherine got so mad about him getting a new job. What did you want him to do? Sit at home all day? It's your fault you didn't try to help even though you know Meredith is the only one who deserves the punishment she got. I missed Carina! So happy to see her back, she's always a nice addition. Levi and Nico were sweet this episode, I hope it means they'll be better this season because their relationship so far was toxic as fuck.

That's it I think! See you next week