#Good Times Marathon | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

umbry-fic · 5 months

Text

mairieux

Summary: Colette Brunel, and the decision to live.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Colette Brunel, Lloyd Irving, Frank Brunel Relationships: Colette Brunel & Lloyd Irving, Colette Brunel & Frank Brunel Rating: G Word Count: 1990 Mirror Link: AO3 Original Post Date: 07/04/2024

Notes: A short pre-canon fic. The title is from mairieux by n-buna.

~~~

When Colette was ten, she learned what it meant to fear death.

She had known since she was a child that she was special - chosen to carry the hopes and wishes of the people of Sylvarant, fated to one day deliver them to the Heavens and into the embrace of the Goddess. A holy figure to be revered, not to be befriended. A lonely figure among a thronging sea of people that always parted around her, praying at her feet yet refusing to approach her.

Standing before the church’s stained glass window depicting the benevolent Goddess reaching ever skywards, the truth of her fate was delivered to her by a group of priests, their voices containing not a hint of passion, as if they were blandly discussing the weather.

Because to them, her death was nothing more than a fact - a truth that could not be overturned.

When the light of salvation arrived from the Heavens, she would walk the land of Sylvarant in a quest to reach the tower that represented hope, and thus preordain an era of fortune, dooming herself in the process.

In that single moment, her heart grew cold, as if she had suddenly found herself lost in a vicious winter storm, flurries of snow assaulting her from every direction.

The few hands that had bothered to reach out towards her, to wipe the tears from her cheeks and coax a smile from her…

She would lose them, no matter what.

~~~

“Colette, would you like to go pick apples in the orchard today?” her father offered, nursing a steaming cup of tea over the dining table, empty plates littered with crumbs still scattered over it.

The scratch of pencil against paper stopped, and she sat up straight in her chair in excitement, homework forgotten. She barely spent any time with her father - most of it was monopolised by the priests. She had long since learned to stop asking, not wanting to be the one to put that horribly sad expression on his face when he gently turned her down.

She opened her mouth to answer enthusiastically, but the words wouldn’t come. They were trapped in her throat, drowning in poison that bit at her skin. The priests’ words from yesterday echoed in her ears, that strange chill gripping her heart in its claws once more.

“I… I have a lot of homework to catch up on, Father, so maybe not today.” She smiled weakly, not understanding why those were the words that had left her lips as she stood, gathering loose sheaves of paper. “I think I’m going to go back to my room now.”

In the silence that followed, neither her father nor her grandmother said a word to interrupt it. Her grandmother passed her a plate of still-warm cookies, a terrible guilt haunting both of their gazes.

She hurried up the stairs, cracks splintering on the surface of her heart.

If this was how they had felt all this time, then she could understand why they never spent any time with her.

~~~

“That’s all I have to teach you today. Class is dismissed.” Professor Raine snapped the book in her hand shut, faint muttering exploding into a ruckus as friends made plans and chattered about their day. “Remember to do your homework!” she yelled over the chaos as the dozen or so students jostled each other to be the first to leave the stuffy classroom.

Colette continued to stare out the window at nothing in particular, watching clouds drift across the colourless sky.

“Hey, Colette! Wanna come over today?” Lloyd grinned, sliding into view and jolting her out of her thoughts. The vibrant red he always wore was a shock after an hour of overcast grey, blooming to consume her vision. “We can do our homework together and then go visit Genis to see if he’s feeling any better.”

“I…” she faltered, heart sinking when the smile on her best friend’s face flickered for a moment at her hesitation. She had never, ever voluntarily given up a chance to spend time with the only friends she had, who stole her away from her closed-off world of prayers and scriptures to a world of fun and laughter where she could be nothing more than an ordinary girl.

She didn’t understand, how she could want nothing more than to be by the side of those she held dear, only for the thought of doing so stabbing a knife through her heart.

She shook her head. “I’m a little tired today. Sorry, Lloyd. Maybe next time?”

The lie slid from her lips with ease, despite not knowing when she could next spend time with him - not without this strange numbness creeping into the very depths of her soul.

“Oh. Well, that’s alright.” She glanced away when his expression crumpled, disappointment flooding his face.

“Give Genis my well wishes, won’t you?”

She folded her hands in her lap, keeping her head bowed, not wanting to bear witness to his crestfallen expression.

“...Alright. See you, Colette."

~~~

The ticking of the clock echoed loudly in her ears as she kicked her feet back and forth, seated at the dining table and pondering the intricacies of a complicated math equation.

This had been the longest week of her life. Guilt had choked her each and every time she had turned someone away, but the biting sting from the cracks in her heart that were only continuing to spread was worse, never fading. Tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, she slumped over the table, burying her face in her arms.

What was she supposed to do? She didn’t want to keep doing this - she didn’t want to keep hurting those she held dear. But the pain wouldn’t stop.

If she was inevitably going to die, then what was the point of enduring all this pain in the first place?

Steady knocking of a fist on wood bid her raise her head, and she wandered over to the door in a daze to see whoever it was that would come over at this time of the night.

“Hey, Colette!”

A familiar face greeted her in the doorway, and she wondered if she was dreaming.

“Lloyd? What are you doing here so late?” she asked, her gaze roving over her best friend, dirt smudging his cheek and a small glass jar wedged under his arm.

“I have something to show you, is all!” He offered her a hand, his smile small but brave, surely knowing there was a chance she’d turn him down again. Yet still he reached out for her, as he always did, never giving up.

She wavered on that threshold, weary, her heart pulling her in two different directions. She could just give him the excuse that it was late, far too late for the Chosen to be wandering into the woods. But she…

A hand landed on her shoulder. “You should go, Colette.”

She turned to stare in confusion at her father, who gave her an encouraging smile and a squeeze of her shoulder.

“I… Alright…” she mumbled, taking Lloyd’s hand.

~~~

Frank had watched his daughter close herself off from the world all week, grief colouring his gaze as he watched her slowly kill her own heart with every passing second without even realising she was doing it.

She had been on the verge of becoming nothing more than a living corpse with the trappings of a messiah. Still able to shamble her way to the tower and sacrifice herself, giving away the heart beating in her chest that had died long ago.

And not a single person would have cared, so long as she completed the duty she had been born to carry.

Perhaps that would have been easier. A peaceful existence, one without suffering, that would come to an end without any regrets.

But it broke his heart to lose his daughter this way, even if he could no longer reach her anymore.

So he hoped, and prayed, because that was all he could do.

~~~

“Woah! Careful there!” Lloyd laughed, steadying her as she slid down a slope, having nearly tripped over a particularly large root. She grabbed onto his arm, preventing herself from falling face-first into the dirt.

The sound of his laughter, carefree and bright, soothed the aching of her soul. It had been a while since she’d last heard it, hadn’t she? The warmth of his hand seeped into her arm, slowly melting the ice around her heart. For a moment, she could be an ordinary girl again.

She’d missed him.

“Here we are.” Lloyd ushered her into a clearing, the dense leaves of the trees clearing to reveal the moon hanging high in the night sky among the twinkling stars, casting everything in liquid silver. “Now we just have to wait.”

“Wait…?”

She didn’t have to wait long, a gasp rushing from her lips as gold erupted from all around her.

“Fireflies…” she whispered in awe, spinning in a circle to observe the clearing, which had completely transformed. There were so many of them! The tiny insects were almost like stars that had fallen from the sky, sharing their radiance as they floated gracefully about, doing as they pleased. Some filled tree hollows, and some fluttered past her hair, surrounding the both of them.

It was a magical sight, one that Lloyd had still wanted to share with her, despite how hard she had been shoving him away all week, refusing to let him in as she shut her heart in a gate to protect it. He truly was kind, wasn’t he? Kind enough to see her as nothing more than a normal girl, one with normal troubles, with normal dreams, who deserved to be happy…

She couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face, even as her heart continued to break.

“Anyway, here!” The jar she had noticed him carrying was now shoved beneath her nose, filled to the brim with vibrant gold. She accepted it with careful hands, tracing the paths that the fireflies made against the glass. “You’ve been down all week, so I thought maybe I could cheer you up. I’m… glad you’ve finally smiled,” he mumbled, averting his gaze, the tips of his ears red.

She cradled the jar close to her chest, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks, drop after drop. It still hurt, so very, very much, and it always would. To know that moments like these would one day come to an end - that no matter how much she cherished these memories, they would inevitably be wrenched from her. And every time, her heart would remember this pain.

Perhaps it would be easier to cast it away in this sea of gold and let it dissolve into nothing, shielding her from the sea of pain that threatened to drown it. But it would mean giving up this overwhelming joy that she had forgotten, and she would not forego her dwindling chances to spend time with those she loved, knowing that here, she was safe, cared for by gentle hands that would never let her go.

“W - what’s wrong?” Lloyd panicked, rushing closer. “Did I -”

“You didn’t say anything wrong, silly.” She laughed, for the first time this week, letting the lock over her heart fall and shatter as she took his hand, rubbing the dirt that stained his fingers. “I’m just… really, really happy. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“Truly? You’ll tell me next time, though, if you’re feeling down again? I promise I’ll cheer you up!”

“It was just something silly. Nothing to worry about. I’m feeling much better now. All thanks to you, Lloyd!”

His cheeks flushed beet red again at her words, and she giggled, squeezing his hand.

Her happiness would not last. But she would make the most of it right now.

She would live, to the best of her ability. That was the decision she had made.

#fanfiction #one shot #tales of symphonia #colette brunel #lloyd irving #frank brunel #i marathoned six hours of lecture and my brain is leaking out of my ears so good time to post this

5 notes · View notes