#Gloomy Eyes (2019)

[astvrook]

洪水 | YANDERE THEMES | HEESEUNG.

much has been speculated about "sloman", whose uniqueness lies in his emergence from the sewers of south korea. known as lee heeseung, during his school years, he faced bullying because of his poor eyesight and dependence on glasses. his extreme shyness also made him the target of cruel teasing and aggression that often left him injured.

he possessed introspection and anxiety about his surroundings, revealing disturbing signs of violent instincts. yet, over time, the constant belittling undermined his self-esteem, despite his submissive nature.

once heeseung met you, his vibrant life became monotonous, losing interest in social activities and group events, along with the appearance of unfounded rumours of criminal behaviour swiftly circulating around campus. he was once arrested for assaulting a former classmate and in a cycle of obsession that drove him to extremes. through charitable acts and sexual encounters, however, he sought an escape from psychological overwhelm. because, although exhausted, heeseung gave himself body and soul, with his obsessive thoughts weaving a dangerous web, and the burning desire drove him to act violently.

when they began a relationship, heeseung always looked completely exhausted, with the scratches on his back telling the story of unbridled passion the night before, and "obsessed bitch! i'd attack anyone and gouge their eyes out for you." he told you, as desire enveloped him and he moved with fervour, exploring every corner of your body with deep movements.

his breathtaking, heart-stopping kisses remained etched in your memory with astonishing clarity. being honest with yourself, you never did not enjoy the exquisite sensation of his soft tongue delicately exploring your mouth, and heeseung, for his part, felt truly alive when you were near. your presence was vital in his life, as essential as the skin that covered him.

you personified, for him, the idea of an inner danger.

it was in late 2019 when officials discovered an alarming scene in his basement: nine bodies devoured by ravenous maggots. and ironically, each individual present had had some sort of interaction with you. for example, one of them was a young man who rudely interrupted heeseung once to ask for your phone number.

that's when you realised that lee heeseung saw each individual as a potential threat.

happily, through numerous investigations to unravel the motives behind sloman's crimes, none of them managed to effectively delve into the killer's malevolent inclinations. you alone knew that you were his source of inspiration, his muse, and never mentioned it.

(…)

and now, years have passed since what happened, and as you slowly regain consciousness, you become aware of the cruel grip of the chair beneath you. while your eyes grow accustomed to the darkness, a grisly scene reveals itself to you: a once pristine wall was now stained by a dense, clotted mass of blood, surely witness to a heinous crime from the distant past.

you attempt to inspect the abandoned chamber and spot some barely visible traces of blood, which makes your skin crawl. even the sound of laughter in the gloomy atmosphere was a clear sign of trouble, because you recognised it.

it's lee heeseung's distinctive laugh.

your pulse quickens and a wave of panic sweeps over you with unfathomable intensity.

"all individuals, no matter how repulsive, deserve a dignified representation and a final feast to bring solace. my choice would be an exquisite feast, to be shared with you… my loved one (y/n)".

our eyes fall on heeseung, and though you don't initially recognise him, a flood of memories sweeps over you with force. his appearance remains as striking as ever, but since you last saw him, he has undergone a remarkable physical transformation. he's grown in stature and gained muscle mass, which is reflected in the greater definition and prominence of his muscles, and you also sense an additional level of maturity in his appearance, now with a seriousness he didn't show before. moreover, he demonstrates a new talent: his remarkable artistic skills in using unconventional materials, such as paraffin wax, to recreate his famous clown make-up.

being near him, a wave of negative emotions sweeps over you, sending shivers down your spine at the mere sight of his presence. meanwhile, heeseung's words echo in your mind. he leans in for a kiss and the simulated blood that gushes from the wounds near his eyes stains your face. as a result, bit by bit, your thoughts become confused.

his relentless, passionate kisses saturate your mind, leaving little room for anything else, and the touch of his hand on the inside of your thigh sends an electric shock through your entire being, confronting you with a harsh reality.

"your striking beauty and the fear you provoke within me lead me to act undesirably, (y/n)".

just then, an intense anxiety causes a piercing tingling and pain throughout your body, bringing you to the brink of a fiery explosión. and heeseung feels an intense fury bubbling up inside him, making his hands throb, just as the burning desire to wield his knife and pierce hearts burns in him, as powerful as the instinct to breathe.

at the same time, a burning anger buzzes in his ears, burning his chest and clouding his vision with a red haze. "absence plunged me into madness, but now that you're back and I feel whole again, (y/n)." knees bent, heeseung's soft kisses dance over the contours of your legs.

feeling his thumb brush against your pelvis, an instant tightness in your stomach overwhelms you. scorching heat spreads through your being and descends in a wave that tightens your muscles, as the pounding of your heart and the trembling of your legs intensify as you watch his lips roam over your body. in seconds, you gasp as you feel the touch of his tongue on your exposed skin, unleashing a roar in your throat and awakening an unbridled passion in heeseung that spreads.

with passion, heeseung caresses your silky legs with his hands and lifts them to rest on his strong shoulders. In spite of the immense pleasure that almost consumes you, find the strength to resist and not succumb completely as suddenly you begin to feel self-conscious with two men standing out behind you, unable to ignore when open your eyes.

looking recognisable, you find it curious how the simple use of similar cosmetics can make people appear more attractive. then, in a moment, you can clearly distinguish them.

both jay and jake are watching you calmly and attentively. and you realise that all three of them were present in this specific place: the triad of failures.

"honey, see… this tradition of having dinner together as a family of three is something so… special." heeseung elaborates as he feels the tension, and you inwardly curse.

because there was no place safe enough to hide from heeseung indefinitely.

ENHYPEN MASTERLIST.

[themacabre70s]

bauhaus: fashion and music

music: the start of the gothic subculture

originally called bauhuas 1919 (in reference to the year a german art school named Bauhaus opened) but shortened in 1979, Bauhaus formed in 1978 in Northampton England. their music was haunting and moody. The band became a staple pioneer for the gothic rock genre and are known to have “introduced”the world to the genre. they did mix many other genres though including dub rock, psychedelia, dub, and funk.

known for their 9 and a half minute long hit Bela Lugosi’s Dead they were the first band to dive into such a depressing sound. this song was a harbinger for gothic rock music and was influential on contemporary goth culture.

Bauhaus consisted of lead vocalist Peter Murphy, lead guitarist Daniel Ash, bass guitarist David J and drummer Kevin Haskins.

their debut album In The Flat Field is regarded as one of the first gothic rock albums. with their third album The Skys Gone Out they achieved mainstream success with the album peaking at number 3 on the UK albums chart in 1982. They reached number 15 that same year with a cover of David Bowies “Ziggy Stardust” which earned them an appearance on Top of the Pops.

In 1983 the band disbanded when Peter Murphy fell ill and spent a lot of his time away from the band leaving the other members having to compensate for his absence. this created tension between the bandmates and they disbanded on July 5th a week before their fourth and final studio album was released.

Bauhaus has since reunited for tours in 1998, 2005-2008 and then again in 2019.

fashion: dark image

unlike siouxsie and the banshees, bauhaus’ influence on fashion is not quite as influential. they had a flair for the dark and dramatic as many goths do and dressed the part of a goth band.

with Peter Murphy and Daniel Ash often sporting the signature spiky teased goth hair Kevin Haskins and David J were more tame opting for a more standard slightly styled look.

The band as a whole did have a dark and gloomy look with all of them wearing dark eyeliner and clothing. Daniel Ash most notably adopted a very androgynous look during their time together as a band wearing fishnet tops, flowing shirts, lipstick, eyeshadow and a lot of other distinctly feminine fashion and accessories.

In comparison with Daniel Ash the other members did not quite have a style like his.

David J and Kevin Haskins stuck with a lot of traditionally masculine clothing like trenchcoats, suit jackets, t shirts, and jeans or dress pants.

notably David J wore a pair of sunglasses all the time as his signature piece.

Peter Murphys relys a lot on his hair, it was styled very uniquely a lot of the time and he wore a lot of ties and dress shirts with tight pants as did Kevin Haskins and David J. Peter Murphy also wore eye and lip makeup but not quite as much as Daniel Ash. The band experimented with style a lot and would put together a lot of really cool outfit combinations. Bauhaus’ style is really important to mention when you talk about them because they just look so freaking cool in all of their pictures. i really like the kind of effortless fashion they wore and even if its not mentioned you can tell they definitely influenced goth style and gave it a more concrete idea of what goths of the time commonly wore.

[w3bgrl]

bonding time

synopsis: a glimpse into one of jinju’s more significant bonding sessions

date: october 2019

era: pre-double knot

word count: 1.2k

featuring: kang juyeon, hwang hyunjin

warnings: n/a

juyeon huffed with an annoyed smile as her phone started to ring, shifting the to-go boxes in her hands to pull her mask down so she could answer the call. she didn’t even check to see who it was before speaking. “i’m actively coming up the stairs right now”

‘you better be!’ hyunjin whined on the other line ‘i’ve been waiting all day for this.’

she laughed as she ascended the last step. “you’re ridiculous. now come let me in!”

the door swung open within seconds of the words leaving her mouth to reveal hyunjin with an excited smile. she hurried inside and kicked her shoes off to set the food down on the soda-adorned coffee table before falling onto the familiar couch with a relieved sigh.

“how was it?” hyunjin asked and claimed the other couch, already opening the boxes to start eating “how was the rain?”

juyeon sat up with a groan and took her mask and hat off, throwing them haphazardly on the coffee table. “it was fine, i’m just so bad at socializing when i’m alone.”

“why? what happened?”

juyeon finally opened her takeout box as hyunjin shoveled down his first sushi roll of many, lips jutted out the way they usually did when he ate. she broke her chopsticks and rolled them between her palms.

“there was this display stand to advertise their home-made sauce that called it ‘awesome sauce’. so when our food was ready i asked if i could try their ‘awesome sauce’ and the employee - like - didn’t know what to say to me.” juyeon turned their current tv-show on before taking the first bite. “turns out,” she covered her food-filled mouth “it was just spicy mayo. awesome sauce was the marketing hook; like the ‘got milk?’ slogan? yeah.”

hyunjin’s eyes squeezed shut as he laughed silently at the older girl who in turn took a gloomy bite of her food. her frown turned upside down the second she started eating, though, and hyunjin apologized for her misfortune that day before their attention fell to the tv.

their ‘bonding time’ thing started a long time ago, but their most recent addition to the routine was showing one another new shows the other would never pick themselves. last sunday was hyunjin’s pick and he chose a romantic murder mystery called ‘w; two worlds.’ juyeon typically avoided watching romantic shows because it usually didn’t appeal to her idea of romance, but to her surprise, she actually really liked the show. so much so that they had been watching the rest of it together during the week and planned on finishing it by the following sunday.

“ah,” hyunjin held his chest with food-stuffed cheeks after a particularly sweet interaction between the characters “this show makes my heart flutter.”

juyeon shrugged. it didn’t so much ‘make her heart flutter,’ but she did enjoy the show and watching the main characters transition into lovers. however, hyunjin was unimpressed with her reaction and stopped chewing completely.

“you disagree?” he asked with his eyebrows raised high “you’re saying it doesn’t give you butterflies?”

“i just think you have more of an eye for that stuff, you’re a pisces after all.” she finally cracked open the soda he had set out for her “plus, you’ve never dated anyone, right? you’re more susceptible to it.”

hyunjin now set down his chopsticks in a manner that reminded juyeon of how he used to be - confrontational and aggressive. however, he’d grown a long ways since this time and instead of standing to show how big and bad he was, hyunjin crossed his legs and clasped his hands together professor-like.

“what about you, then? are you not ‘susceptible’ because of alll the boyfriends you’ve had?”

she laughed at this and placed the can back on the table. “well, i’ve never had a boyfriend, so we can start there.”

hyunjin sat back and crossed his arms, an eyebrow cocked with disbelief. he narrowed his eyes at her as if staring too hard would elicit the truth and when it didn’t he shook his head. “i don’t believe you.”

she laughed again “why? is that hard to believe?”

“you’ve never dated anyone?”

the blush of deception on juyeon’s cheeks caught his attention and he kept his eyes locked on her features as she brushed her hair off her neck. “that’s not what i said…” she trailed off and took another bite.

hyunjin took what she said in his hands and rolled it around to see every angle; every meaning. yet all perspectives revealed the same thing and his eyes bulged wide once he put words to it. never did he expect juyeon to be into girls - she was in a group of 8 dudes! but then again, she was in a group of boys, always surrounded by men. they never really got to see how she interacted with the same sex.

“noona! i didn’t know you were a player like that”

“why does that make me a player?” she whined “it was just once!”

her wording made the situation sound much more suggestive than it actually was which in turn made hyunjin’s jaw fall open. “wha - kang juyeon!”

“just one girl, hyune.” she clarified firmly “i was like sixteen, anyways. we just hung out a lot.”

although she was ready to return to the show, this box had been opened, and now hyunjin had every question under the sun. he started with just one more.

“who was it?”

she shook her head with her eyes on the tv “doesn’t matter anymore.”

“did it end badly?”

“no, it was fine. we just kinda stopped talking.”

hyunjin readjusted his seating position to fully face juyeon, his beloved show now long forgotten after unlocking new lore from his older member. he had to hand it to her, although you wouldn’t guess it, she could be quite mysterious.

“was she a trainee?”

juyeon picked up on his disinterest in the show and paused it so as to save their spot before finally turning to him. she reminded herself that this was the whole point of bonding time, and she had been in hyunjin’s position plenty of times in the past so there was kind of an obligation to answer his questions. “yes, she was.”

“did she debut?”

“no, no.” she dismissed him quickly “i think she left in 2018.”

hyunjin chuckled “maybe because the one that got away debuted that year?”

juyeon shrugged charmingly although she didn’t think that was the reason for her departure and stood from her seat to grab another soda from the fridge. however, hyunjin’s questions just kept rolling. “did i ever meet this girl?”

“probably not.” she hummed as she returned “we hung out in the dorms after practice cause we didn’t see each other all day - cause i was with you guys.”

“i see.”

as he finished his last roll of sushi hyunjin went over the information he had gathered in his head, a silence falling over the room. juyeon assumed he had finally had his fill of questions and grabbed the remote to resume their episode.

“well,” hyunjin smiled at her teasingly as she waited on him to start the show again “if you ever find yourself needing advice in a romantic situation someday, let me know. i’ve been told i have an eye for those kinds of things.”

“yeah,” she bit her tongue as certain…instances she had with someone recently came to mind “whatever you say, jinnie.”

[roffmychest]

My Near Death Experience

[CW for death and mentions of religion]

I had a near death experience towards the end of 2019. It all started when I began experiencing severe tachycardia. I had tachycardia before, but this was much worse than anything I’ve ever dealt with, so my roommates convinced me to go to the emergency room.

Once I was there, it only got worse. I think I was around 200 BPM. They ran some tests and discovered my potassium was extremely low, but didn’t know why. They decided to keep me there for observation. I was given a horse pill of a potassium supplement that I couldn’t choke down and Ativan.

After the Ativan, my condition stabilized enough for them to let me go home sometime in the early morning. The Ativan made me very cloudy headed. I cannot remember how I even got home. The only thing I remember is that one moment I was On the phone with my roommates in the hospital and the next I was on the couch back at the house.

I don’t know if I was sick or if it was just the Ativan but I was so tired I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I had never been that tired in my life. I collapsed on the couch with all my clothes and shoes on. I remember feeling an extreme heaviness in my chest just before I dozed off and feeling like I was drifting out of my body.

At first, it felt like I was waking up from the deepest sleep I’ve ever had. I was near a river with black water that had a bunch of sticks floating in it. Everything was dark and gloomy like I was Underground. I think I might have been on a small boat or some thing because I wasn’t in the water, but I was moving and I kept dipping my hands in and moving the sticks around like if I moved them out of the way, some thing else would be behind them.

Then I felt a falling sensation and woke up feeling like I have been dropped from somewhere very high up. Paramedics and my roommates were standing around me. I had no idea what the hell was going on. I later found out that I hadn’t been breathing. Apparently one of my roommates Tried to wake me up to give me something to eat, and I was completely nonresponsive, which isn’t like me. She was concerned and held a mirror in front of my nose. There was no fog.

Apparently I was not breathing and did not have a pulse. She was really worried about me and tried to get my other two roommates to call somebody but they didn’t take the situation seriously. She finally called the paramedics herself. While all of this was going down, apparently she had texted my girlfriend at the time freaking out, saying that I was dead on the living room couch. Apparently I was like that for quite some time before they got to me and I woke up for no apparent reason.

Anyway, I was clinically dead, and I didn’t think much of it until later, but I think I saw the veil. I didn’t see any deceased family members. There was no sense of peace. I saw neither Heaven nor Hell. I didn’t meet God or Jesus. I just remember going down a black underground river full of sticks.

I haven’t told this to anybody, except for one friend. He’s big into Greek mythology, and he thought perhaps I saw the freaking river Styx. We don’t know though. It was very strange.

.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

do you have any outside pov fics where the outsider is not part of the fandom? non-au, can be a stranger or someone who knows them (just read something really good from kath's pov and i'd like more like that)

there are plenty in the masterlists but i picked some out for you!

Bared Borders, Bottomless (ao3) - keeplovinanyway

Summary: It's 2014. She's a therapist. Her client is Mr. Howell, who has steered relatively clear of who he shares his life with. Today, he talks about Phil (a bit).

Puppy Makes Three (ao3) - theoreoqueen

Summary: The story on how Dan and Phil get a dog, as told from the dog's point of view.

Summer Of '69 (ao3) - outphan

Summary: Being on a tour bus with Dan and Phil can get interesting for Marianne.

Through The Wall (ao3) - Iittlesparkle

Summary: Frank just want to unwind after a long and boring day, but his noisy neighbours wont let him.

together: a tale in five board games (ao3) - dieofthatroar

Summary: Dan in his BBC LGBT interview: "I had friends who honestly would be like, 'so, are you going to get a girlfriend at some point?' and I was like, 'so you have no idea, even though we've been friends for five years.'"

Dan and Phil have this friend that comes over for monthly board game night.

watching terrariums (ao3) - obsessivelymoody

Summary: They’re silhouetted against the gloomy grey London sky, light only touching the high points of their faces, illuminating their eyes. They look carved from marble, and by someone who is really able to capture love.

Or, Dan and Phil in 2019, told through two perspectives at two different times.

Where The Heart Is (ao3) - andthenshesaid-write

Summary: Two young men have moved into the house across the street and Martha plucks up the courage to go over and welcome them to the neighbourhood.

- Tori

[stormblessed95]

I'm all good, if Jkk broke up atp tbh. JM seems to glow. He looks like someone who is out of a toxic relationship and found new freedom to do and enjoy everything he liked. And I'm happy if the reason is end of Jkk for his thriving.

On other hand, I'm being honest so bare with me, JK seems so miserable. Not only my opinion, I saw many saying JK seems so sad now. And how he looks like Tae in 2019 who was at a not so good place mentally then. And how they hope he talks about it to someone and try to be happy again. In almost all contents (which is only few btw) he seems gloomy. One sec he'll laugh next sec he'll go all sad and lonely. Even in New year message, when others told about things to look forward and how they are trying lot of various things with lot of hope. JK said he wish this year goes fine without much up and down. There was zero happiness or hope in his voice.

The cackle I let out 🤣 oh boy. Anywho, here is your book recommendation! Since I do this now. I give books recs to the haters instead of entertaining their nonsense lol

ACOTAR by Sarah J Maas. To be fair, SJM writes extremely white washed and heteronormative fantasy romance books. But they are a fun sandbox of stories and relationships to play around in. So while I don't love her, her books are fun.

Content warnings: Drugging, Emotional abuse, Kidnapping, Manipulation, Murder, Physical abuse, Sex scenes, Sexual abuse, Sexual assault, Torture, Violence, and Racist/Homophobic undertones in stereotypes for certain characters.

Description of book 1: Feyre's survival rests upon her ability to hunt and kill – the forest where she lives is a cold, bleak place in the long winter months. So when she spots a deer in the forest being pursued by a wolf, she cannot resist fighting it for the flesh. But to do so, she must kill the predator and killing something so precious comes at a price ...

Dragged to a magical kingdom for the murder of a faerie, Feyre discovers that her captor, his face obscured by a jewelled mask, is hiding far more than his piercing green eyes would suggest. Feyre's presence at the court is closely guarded, and as she begins to learn why, her feelings for him turn from hostility to passion and the faerie lands become an even more dangerous place. Feyre must fight to break an ancient curse, or she will lose him forever.

As for WHY I'm recommending this series to anon based off their message, that will be full of SPOILERS SO DONT READ AFTER THE NEXT PHOTO IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS

Feyre is in a relationship with Tamlin for the entire first book basically. And into the second. But due to their own traumas, the relationship is incredibly toxic and unhealthy. She ends up leaving him and finds her fated mate in Rhys. Where she blooms and blossoms and becomes a very powerful person. Tamlin withers, becomes lonely, depressed, and full of malice. Her new relationship and just new life even before she gets into said new relationship is honestly super great. Im being honest anon, so bare with me please. You'd probably enjoy reading about the come up, which means you'll have to at least get to book 2 in the series anon. Good luck. Hopefully this gives you some characters you can obsess over so that you can leave the real people who are in BTS alone and stop treating them like characters in the story in your head. Thanks!

[fcble]

FABLE (페이블, occasionally stylized as FA8LE) is a fictional, seven member kpop boy group under ZENITH ENTERTAINMENT, who debuted as the company's first group on AUGUST 8, 2018. Originally an eight member group, EUNSU left in mid 2021. They are best known for their unwavering traditional concept that incorporates elements of Korean culture and evokes a sense of nostalgia for a time that no one alive today has actually lived through.

Formed by former SM Entertainment executive LEE TAEIN, Fable's debut was well-received as far as small company groups go. Following two mini albums with progressively worse sales, their future looked gloomy until a performance of the title track of their fourth mini album, 가자, went viral, giving them their first music show win.

After regaining their footing, Fable leaned further into their concept, until the release of their second full album, 오비이락(烏飛梨落), in 2023. Helmed for the first time by YEJUN, it marked the group's transition toward a more general retro sound. Fable has since established themselves as a mid-tier fourth generation boy group, despite the huge individual popularity disparities—mostly between center HAKSU and everyone else—and a few major scandals—mostly centering MINGEUN and no one else.

GENERAL !

NAME: Fable

COMPANY: Zenith Entertainment

CONCEPT: Korea

COLORS:

DEBUT DATE: August 8, 2018

DEBUT SONG: 승천

DEBUT ALBUM: 경천동지(驚天動地)

FANDOM NAME: Fabulist 

GREETING: 옛날 옛적에! 안녕하세요, 페이블입니다! / Once upon a time! Hello, we are Fable!

MEMBERS !

OH KIYOUNG : b. 1994, lead vocalist + lead dancer

ANDREW 'YEJUN' HAN : b. 1995, main vocalist + visual

LEE JAESEOP : b. 1995, leader + lead dancer

PARK INTAK : b. 1995, main rapper

KANG HAKSU : b. 1997, main vocalist + center

BAEK EUNSU : b. 1999, main rapper 

YOON MINGEUN : b. 1999, main dancer + lead vocalist + lead rapper

LIM BYEONGHWI : b. 2001, lead vocalist + maknae

DISCOGRAPHY !

경천동지(驚天動地) : mini album, 2018

천우신조(天佑神助) : mini album, 2019

천정부지(天井不知) : mini album, 2019

이구동성(異口同聲) : mini album, 2020

옥골선풍 (玉骨仙風) : full album, 2020

낙화유수(落花流水) : mini album, 2020

환호작약(歡呼雀躍) : mini album, 2021

수복강녕(壽福康寧) : mini album, 2022

오비이락(烏飛梨落) : full album, 2023

후래삼배(後來三杯) : repackaged album, 2023

화(花) : digital single, 2023

화룡점정 (畵龍點睛) (PAINT THE DRAGON, DOT THE EYES) : full album, 2024

[devoted-to-colin-farrell]

Narrated by Colin Farrell, Gloomy Eyes (2019) tells the story of the sun who got tired of humans and decided to hide and never rise again. The darkness awoke the dead. Colin loves a good love story. A zombie boy falls in love with a mortal girl. 💕

I could listen to Colin’s voice all day 😍

[yyh4ever]

A Demon Lives in My Heart

"Yu Yu Hakusho 100% Maji Battle" Toguro Event

The event quest "A demon lives in my heart" was first held on May 10th, 2019. I want to translate some of the Maji Battle stories about Genkai and Toguro. These two surely deserve a gaiden.

Story: Fearing the decline in strength, Toguro was training hard every day. One day, however, he witnesses the death of his beloved disciples. Right before Toguro's eyes, there was the repulsive figure of Kairen grinning at him.

Video:

Translation:

"A demon lives in my heart"

Toguro: Genkai...

Genkai: Calling me out to a place like this, what is it?

Toguro: .......

Toguro: Both you and I, we are probably at the peak of our strength right now, right?

Toguro: Lately, I've been thinking that it would be nice if time stopped...

Genkai: What's this, all of sudden?

Toguro: Don't you think so?

Genkai: ...Maybe so.

Toguro: I'm scared.

Toguro: It's not that I'm scared of someone stronger than us appearing.

Toguro: I'm scared to think that when such a person appears, my body will have deteriorated.

Toguro: It's frustrating...

Toguro: Being a human is inconvenient.

Genkai: Really, do you think so...? 

Toguro: I want to obtain a body that will never deteriorate.

Toguro: That'd be simply the greatest!

Genkai: ....... 

[Toguro leaves]

Toguro: Genkai looked gloomy when she heard me talking.

Toguro: Does she not feel frustrated with her own decline?

Toguro: I don't want to, absolutely don't...

Toguro: I don't want my body to deteriorate, and turn into an ugly figure...

Toguro: *Sigh*! *Puff Puff*!

Toguro: I still need more training...!

Toguro continued training day after day, as he struggled with fear and anxiety of the decay of his physical strength...

If the prime of his strength was now, he wanted to extend that time forever.

But then, tragedy strikes Toguro.

[At Toguro's Dojo]

Disciple A: Aaggghh!!

*slide* (sound of a sliding door opening)

Toguro: What the hell...

Disciple A: To ... Togu ....... ro-san...

Toguro: Waaaaaaaaaaaa!! (*flabbergasted*)

Toguro: Why are my disciples lying on the ground bleeding!?

Toguro: You, you are...!?

Kairen: Hahahahahaha...!

*slash*!

Toguro: Oof!

Toguro: Damn ... youuu!!

[Toguro tries to fight Kairen]

Toguro: Ouch...

*thud* (Toguro falls down)

Toguro: I, I can't win...

Kairen: Don't sweat it, hahaha! Dark Tournament guests at this level would naturally be defeated.

Kairen: You, at best, will live until the Dark Tournament.

Kairen: You should be grateful for having survived today.

Toguro: *cough* ... *cough*...

Toguro: It's the first time I've met an opponent beyond my skills. I came across someone stronger than me...

Toguro: "It's not that I'm scared of someone stronger than us appearing" ... I surely said that yesterday.

Toguro: However, when he appeared before me, I was no match for him...

Toguro: What have I been up to until now?

Toguro: I can't even protect a single disciple.

The fact that Kairen appeared and killed his disciples was immediately brought to Genkai's attention.

After that, Toguro has disappeared for three months.

And time passed, until the day before the Dark Tournament...

[On the Eve of the Dark Tournament]

Genkai: It's the day before the Dark Tournament ... What the hell's he doing?

Genkai: No way ... of course he's coming.

Genkai: Jeez, I don't even know what he's doing. I can't believe he's gone away without saying a word.

*tmp* ... *tmp*... (sound of fast steps)

Genkai: ...!?

Toguro: .......

Genkai: ...You! Where the hell you been?

Toguro: ...Genkai

Toguro: The Dark Tournament, it seems if you win, they'll grant you any wish you desire.

Genkai: Eh? That's true, but... 

Toguro: ...I see

Genkai: You, you didn't even write. What have you been up to for the past three months?

Toguro: ......

Genkai: You...

Genkai noticed that Toguro was different from before, but she couldn't say anything more.

A demon was already living in Toguro's heart.

Thus, Toguro heads to the Dark Tournament...

As he vowed to take revenge on Kairen, and turn into a youkai!

-The End-

As Togashi commented in the official Yu Yu Hakusho Characters Book, and was also on display at the Puzzle Exhibition: "Toguro feels no remorse for his actions, all his decisions were his own to make". He probably wanted to become a youkai before Kairen killed his disciples. He was really scared of aging. I remember Genkai telling him that if he got old, so would she. So sad, he chose such a sad path. They could have aged together.

[shintin]

Forget Me Not: Chapter 33 (Touch)

↳ Gojo Satoru x Female Reader

Description: Imagine that from the moment you opened your eyes into this world, you had no choice but to kill and shed the blood of others, that you had to fight alongside Toji Fushiguru and die with him

What would you do when they force you to do something you don’t like? When the torment of conscience presses on your throat, will you give up? Now think about a day that life gives you another chance; how would you use it?

This is the story of a murderer who seeks salvation. Will she find it in the arms of Satoru Gojo? Or will pain find her sooner than redemption and drive her out of heaven forever?

Genre: heavy angst, sad love story, maybe tragedy, violence, lonely hearts, broken souls, +18.

Tags/Warnings: Please don't curse me. I feel like you'll hate me after this chapter.

Song Recommendation: Paloma Faith - Only Love Can Hurt Like This

Chapter index -> Next Chapter

Year: 2019

"Did he take it well?" the man with blond hair asked, removing a cigarette from the package and putting it between his lips. Nobody had seen him smoking much, but today seemed like an exception. A grand exception. His coat was hung on the wood railing next to him; contrary to usual, he had no tie. Based on the mess in his hair and the dimples under his eyes, it was apparent that he had had a rough night. He pulled out his lighter, lifted it slowly, and flickered it a few times while protecting the small flame from the autumn wind with his hand. Eventually, something better came along, and his cigarette was lit. He took his first whiff and breathed a sigh of relief as if the air had returned to his lungs.

"I don't think anyone can call it taking, Kento," the brunette answered, holding out her hand to pick up the lighter from him. She looked at him from the corner of her eyes. Damn! He seemed worse than she did, that's for sure. "He shouted, knocked on the walls, and blamed himself. I guess what we feared finally happened."

She pressed the trigger on the lighter with her thumb and continued, "he lost it. Completely." A buzz of Nicotine pleasure was evident on her face; she wanted to enjoy it all the way before fading away. Why not just smoke? The reason for her quitting smoking vanished hours ago. Fuck! When would the pain disappear? "I'd never seen him that desperate."

Dawn was nearby, and the school was buried in silence. The clouds had rained, the thunder had rumbled and wept, the yellow and orange leaves had covered the ground, and the smell of wet earth had invaded all around. Still, no bird or cricket chant could be heard. Maybe even the animals mourned quietly for the soul of the unborn child who left this world before her first cry.

Maybe if it were a typical day, that view wouldn't be as gloomy, but taking into account their red and sunken eyes, it was clear that sadness owned the day. Even though there was not yet any sun in the sky, both stood by the infirmary, under the canopy, and leaned against the wooden wall behind them. Perhaps they simply wanted to be close to those across the wall.

Nanami placed his hand upon his eyes and began rubbing his eyelids before opening his mouth. "The meeting with the Higher Ups went poorly." His voice sounded more hoarse than a couple of minutes ago. It couldn't be said that the smoke was squeezing his throat or a smothering lump. Of course, he reproached himself for playing a role in the chain of anguish that had overcome them. Maybe if he hadn't hugged Y/N in the bathroom on that wedding day, Satoru would never have left, and she would still be a mother now. But since no one could hear the voices resonating in his brain, no one told him not to torture himself. Nobody said to him that it was okay because he just wanted to help his friend. His best friend after Yu Haibara.

It was then that Nanami promised himself that if Y/N ended up like his old friend, he would never forgive himself and abandon sorcery forever.

Shoko took another drag from her cigarette. Predicting events was more evident than daylight, but she still asked, "what happened there?" Her gaze was fixed on the little drops of water piled up on the large leaves of the trees. "They condemn her for missing 3 of the cursed wombs and 6 of Sukuna's fingers." Shaking his head with disbelief, Nanami let out a breath of anger and patted his cigarette for the ashes to fall. The absurdity behind this vote had been the source of an eternal headache that stuck like a parasite.

Shoko quickly turned her head towards him with raised brows. She opened and closed her mouth several times but couldn't come up with an appropriate word to express her shock.

"Can you question their decision? I mean, the cursed wombs are counted as Y/N's siblings."

"But she had no idea they were here, did she?" Nanami saw her hand clenching into a fist. "Their cursed energy was sealed! Even assuming she knew about them, she was no fool to steal them at the day school was full of sorcerers." Her knitted eyebrows stayed untied. She always tried to be moderate, but recently, Higher Ups had taken many unforgivable measures. " She lost her child to protect the students," she said in a whisper while lowering her head. Her fist slowly opened and released her fingers. Like everyone in the story, she had her own reasons to blame herself. If she'd let Y/N flee without convincing her to stay at school, the baby would still be safe, and she would be awake, not in a fucking coma. It pricked her heart that Y/N had selfishly chosen to carry the burden of all the wrong decisions of others by herself and pay the atonement alone.

"Why didn't you tell us she was pregnant?" Nanami's tone was calm. He was clearly only looking for answers, not the culprit.

"She wanted no one to know, including the father." Shoko smacked her forehead. Now that she looked back, she better understood her mistakes.

She should never have kept the truth from Satoru. What was she thinking? She took another drag, then another, and another. After some quiet time, she started speaking again.

"Those mother fuckers know about her miscarriage?" She flipped her head and looked at Nanami.

"Satoru's father is one of the higher-ups; what do you think?" He crossed his arms across his chest and, with his head bent, he stared at her.

"I thought that asshole would be a little more cautious after the troubles he's caused." She blew out a frustrated breath.

"If he could, he would gladly kiss the hand of the curse that brought this calamity to Y/N! His eyes were as happy as I've ever seen!" He chuckled angrily and tossed his cigarette into the trash can.

"In his son's presence?!!!"

"He's not aware of his clan's actions right now. When these matters were discussed, he was beating the shit out of the curse users that had been arrested for getting them confession and proving Y/N's innocence."

Shoko clasped her lips together. Her throat slowly rolled with her swallow, but she still said nothing. She just looked torn as her face took what looked like a world of pain. "Did Satoru succeed?" She locked her eyes with Nanami again with the hope of good news.

"No." Nanami shook his head. "They said nothing, but bullshits." He eyed her, holding her elbow with one hand, looking down, and moving a stone on the ground with the tip of her shoe. Remorse was a rope that was tightened around the throat of all. "No one blames you. All you wanted to do was keep her safe behind the school walls." He put his hand on her shoulder and pressed it softly.

Shoko inhaled a big gulp of air, turned her back to Nanami, and walked towards the stairs, leaving traces of regret behind her back. She leaned her head toward the wooden pillar. "It doesn't matter what others think. I blame myself." She bit her quivering lower lip.

After the darkness of the night, the star of the earth rose from the horizon, spreading its gold in every direction. Minutes later, the sunrise became even more beautiful. The sky had pink layers like a sea of cotton candy, with sunlight coloring the clouds above with a pink tint. As the sun slowly ascended, the sky in the west became a deep neon blue as the light reached further out.

"Nobody knows what the attack was for?" Shoko came up all of a sudden.

Nanami took his gaze from the sky and turned it to the woman who seemed not to be the first time she was overwhelmed by guilt that wasn't hers. Aha! He remembered now. She had blamed herself after Suguru Geto's massacre too. Was there anything he could do to help with the hurt? Was it possible at all? "Maybe they wanted Sukuna's vessel; maybe they just wanted to cause damage. Nobody knows, but I don't think their purpose is going to be long hidden." He let out a sigh.

The cigarette in Shoko's hand had reached its end long ago, and now it was burning both fingers holding it. She shivered, but a sigh and a question mark almost immediately followed that. "There are thousands over there who are after Sukuna's fingers. Why do they doubt Y/N?" Throwing her cigarette stub in the bin, she tried to make eye contact with Nanami, believing that there were still truths that had not been revealed. "What are you hiding, Kento?"

There was no need to insist. After all, Nanami was against keeping this secret from the get-go. "Yuji is one of Y/N's brothers." He shrugged his shoulders.

Shoko quickly brought her hand to her mouth. "Are you kidding me? This is impossible!"

"I know how it looks. I didn't believe it either, but their DNA is over 98 percent alike. You're a doctor yourself. You know the meaning better," he said, leaning toward the wall while closing his eyes. Considering his recent bad decisions, it was inevitable that Satoru's stupidity had taken its toll on him. Maybe confession was an excellent way to start getting rid of it.

Biting the palm of her hand, Shoko shook her head. "When did you even...? Never mind! I've seen Yuji's case. He was born on March 20, 2003, and there were no sorcerers in his family lineage. He can't be her brother!"

"Maybe Yuji is related to the girl in the parking lot to which Y/N's primary body belongs."

"What? No! Once cursed wombs take over a body, they change it to their own form," she said and thought. Supposedly impossible even if that girl was one of Yuji's relatives, the similarity couldn't be 98%! It means a close blood relationship, but how?" She rubbed her chin.

"For God's sake, Ieiri! Didn't you hear the boy's screams calling her his sister?"

Nanami lowered his head, and seeing Shoko's surprised looks, he continued, "probably not, because you were treating the wounded at the time. Okay. Yuji kept talking about a strange memory of him, Y/N, and other cursed wombs sitting at a table and picnicking."

Shoko looked at Nanami as if she doubted his sanity.

"It sounds crazy, but think about it. Y/N surrendered precisely when Yuji's life was at risk. The same thing happened with Yuji too. This couldn't be a consequence!" He moved his body away from the wall, adjusted his shirt collar, and while grabbing his coat from the railing, he stood beside Shoko. "I think the school staff tipped Higher-Ups about Yuji's hallucinations."

"Do they know everything now?"

"I think they just doubted since Y/N was always willing to do anything to protect Yuji, but let's be careful and keep it hidden as long as possible," Nanami said, wearing his coat.

Shoko nodded. "And I guess she has no idea about this, right?"

"Nope. Satoru didn't want her to know anything until he was absolutely sure." He stretched his arms. "I'm going to get some coffee. Are you coming with me?"

Shoko looked back at the entrance of the building and then turned her head. "No, I'm going to stick around. Satoru is still there; injured students may also need my help." She forced a smile and rubbed her shoulders with her hands.

"So I'm bringing you a coffee here." He put on his famous glasses to hide his red eyes, agitated his hand, and left.

And again, Shoko was left alone to stand there and help others gather their broken pieces. All that is broken could be tied with the appropriate binder, even if it would never be the same. But based on recent events, she doubted fixation would be possible this time.

-----

It was quiet between the room's white walls, and only the sound of the beeps and raspy breaths could be heard. Satoru took his gaze out the window and the rising sun back to her. Many machines were attached to her body to prevent her from giving up. The bed looked so huge with her in the middle of it. Wires and needles were all connected to her fragile figure as she lay there, unmoving.

The only promising movements that Satoru's six eyes could capture were the heaving of her chest and the slow sliding of her pupils beneath her lids. Was she dreaming? Was she at least happy in there? Is that why she refused to wake up?

But her creator was crueler than giving her some relief. She had a frown on her innocent face. The corners of her dull lips were turned down, and her eyebrows were slightly furrowed, as if she was caught in the worst nightmare of her life without being able to move on. Or maybe she was unwilling to wake up. Perhaps she knew that the moment she opened her eyes, the loss she felt would knock her down. Maybe her worst nightmare was a sweet dream compared to the hell ahead of her.

The stinging pain in Satoru's chest lingered, and the breath he took in felt so thick, like a cold spear thrusting into his lungs. Holding his head in his hands, he leaned his elbows to the edge of the bed and allowed his thoughts to consume his mind.

'What if she never awakes? '

Satoru closed his eyes and bumped his head against the bed's metal ledge. No. He could never let that happen. He would go fucking insane without her. He hadn't even apologized to her yet. He hadn't even taken his words back yet. She couldn't fucking die because he still had tons of things to say to her. His chest heaved as he took a deep breath, letting it out with a groan. If he could, he would make a deal with God and get him to swap their places. The angels of the seven heavens knew that he would do anything for her. He would take her pain, take it all the way, if it would force her to open her beautiful eyes, once filled with life.

After all, it was all his fault, wasn't it? A lot of factors indeed contributed to this disaster. But based on chaos theory, the flapping of a butterfly in one part of the world can create a tornado in another part, and indeed, this storm started when Satoru forced her to attend a wedding she didn't even want. "It'll be fun, trust me," he said, but he left her alone among the wolves thirsting for her blood. And when he saw her sheltered by someone other than himself, his stupid ego built such a large wall before all his eyes that he blindly, not knowing what he was doing, crushed everything before him, including her heart. The heart that loved him unconditionally.

Regrettably, that wasn't the end of the tragedy. Instead of apologizing, he forced himself to her purely out of selfishness, solely to prove her loyalty to himself. He wanted to ensure that she belonged only to him, and when he got it, he just noticed her tears. He just realized what the fuck he had done, and somewhere in his being, he knew that the catastrophe his tornado had caused could never be mended. So he ran off away like a coward rabbit and hid in his dark corner. In comparison, Y/N remained and fought, not just for herself, but for his school, his students, and their daughter. Yes. The daughter he let down.

He could feel his chest tightening at his thoughts. Not because he was angry at himself, but because he was scared of the damage he had done.

Satoru lifted his head, his gaze fixed on her stomach. This time yesterday, he had a family, he hadn't embraced. This time yesterday, he had a daughter, and he hadn't sung a lullaby. This time yesterday, he had a woman, maybe with a place in her heart.

What good is it to be the strongest when you can't even save the ones you love?

He was so devastated, but his heart kept beating, over and over, reminding him of all the heartbeats his daughter would never feel. Had Y/N told their daughter about him? Was she expecting him to help her? Or did she know from the beginning that her father was the most stuck-in-the-mud man on earth?

He tried to hold back the seething torrent of tears that had been building up since the moment he had seen her, but there wasn't much fight left in him, just a sack of anguish in his chest he refused to let go.

'What if she had her hair? Were her eyes blue like mine, or were they holding the world like hers? Did her little heart beat fast or slowly? Did Y/N feel the moment it stopped?' He thought, and a cry mixed with a gasp that sounded filled with years of heartache released itself when he said, "was the pain so unbearable, love?"

He pressed his lips together as he clung to the sheets, resembling a shroud. The ache in his soul and sanity raged. Then it was over. He tried to stop himself as his throat tightened, but it was a futile effort. Tears burned in his sinuses, then filled his eyes and descended slowly on his cheeks, leaving him weak and frail as he dug his nails into the white cloth.

Once that first tear broke free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. Satoru bent forward, clenching his hands; he began to cry with the strength of a person vomiting all his grief. These weren't only sad tears. They were also angry ones. Tears filled with regret.

Several drops fell upon her pale hand. Satoru reached out to grab and kiss it, but his hand stopped a few inches from hers, and a graceful agony washed over his face.

"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?" Satoru shouted, but Shoko stood firm, crossing her arms over her chest and looking down at the ground. "I'd never hurt her, let alone kill her! Are you out of your mind?" His words weren't a yell anymore. They were just a subtle and piercing statement. He stretched out his hand and grabbed the knob, but she still remained motionless. "GOD DAMMIT! MOVE AWAY, OR I'LL MOVE YOU!" He was so angry he had to blow out a steady breath to avoid shouting at her.

Shoko raised her head, but before he could do anything, he saw the look in her eyes. It was apologetic. Sad. The knob felt cold in his hand, cold enough to burn his palm and freeze his arm to his shoulder, but he still didn't let go of it. As if dropping it was like accepting never to see her again. As if something terrible would happen if he took his hand off it.

"You don't get it." The sting of agony in his voice made her flinch internally, but she remained as stoic as possible. "I need to see her." His voice trembled, and he stared straight into her eyes, pleading. "Please let me see her."

"Satoru," Shoko said. She drew him towards herself and wrapped her arms in a comforting embrace. He was stiff against her, unsure what to do with his persistent anger. She leaned her forehead against his shoulder and repeated the undeniable sentence she had said a few minutes ago. "Your love is fatal for her. You shouldn't even touch her!"

Her words were barely above a whisper, but they felt like a scream echoing inside him. He began to laugh hysterically. His dry, shattered laughter was as if he was throwing glass dust.

It continued for some time until her grip tightened around him. It was then that reality slapped him. His mind crossed the gates of madness to protect him from what had happened. There was no evidence of surprise or sadness on his face. He was given up and had the face of a man who had just received the bad news he knew was coming.

His mind went blank. Not thoughtless as in uncaring, but thoughtless as in empty inside his head, and feeling everything in his chest, like a ball of fire was building inside him. He could hear her words one by one, knew they had meaning, and even knew what they meant, but he couldn't understand them. He just wanted to hate her, but he was aware that she wasn't at fault. She was just the messenger.

Now that his wrath had left him, he seemed surprisingly defenseless. She gasped for breath, trying to wipe away the few tears that were beginning to form, and since he had no idea what the fuck to do, he just stayed in her embrace, his hand still holding the fucking knob. It took all the effort inside him to keep his tears at bay.

"She is a half-curse. Curses feed on bad feelings..." Shoko muttered, and disbelief waved in the unbridled sea of his eyes. He had messed up a lot, but how could he slowly kill the one willing to trade his life for a deadly poison?

"...and I guess your touch was free of those bad feelings," she continued, and he closed his eyes. Because her voice was painful enough, keeping his eyes open and accepting that this crap wasn't all part of a joke would make it much worse. "I'm sorry, Satoru."

He felt a pang in his chest as he digested all her words in his gut. He had hurt her with both his actions and inactions. His breath took hold of his throat, and he couldn't even scream. He believed he was worthy of any shit thrown at him.

Shoko slipped her hands on his arms to console him and then distanced herself. His face looked like those whose world had been smashed before their eyes. There was no intangible hope for him to cling to anymore.

Ever since she had realized this, she'd been trying to find a silver lining in this misery. She assumed she was wrong, but all her assumptions were shattered when she saw how quickly Y/N's injuries healed after the Gojo clan attack. She checked out Satoru. There was never a good time to come clean about his clan. His plate was always full enough.

"Are you sure about it?" Satoru's voice trembled in shock and sorrow. He was always frightened by this moment. The moment that someone or something would take her away from him. And Satoru was well aware that there was no way out of fear.

He turned his head slightly, and his eyes met hers. He stared at her, studying her, and sought her face for a little ray of hope. But there was no hope left in the market. She nodded. "When you were close to her, her wounds took much time to heal. She looked weak even though she was a special grade." She paused and gulped. She knew what she would say next would be the last nail in the coffin. "But she recovered quite quickly when you weren't around."

The words pierced into his heart. He couldn't say anything. He had more tears in his throat than words, but Y/N was the only one to whom his weakness belonged. After tasting the bitterness in every word of Shoko, his ears refused to hear anymore. The echoes of the rain falling outside became meaningless. The sound of the wind rattling the windows disappeared. The echoing footsteps of Shoko's approaching him entered an endless silence. He leaned his head against the door and looked down at his feet. Suddenly, his knees felt very tired, as though the world had drained him of everything, and he had nothing to lose anymore.

Satoru slowly withdrew his hand. He couldn't hold back the tears. He cried as if something had broken inside him, and all his emotions had poured out. It was the first time since he entered the room that he acknowledged what it meant to be at her side without holding her hand. She meant the world to him. How was he supposed to let her go?

But isn't it what true love demands? A sacrifice? Sometimes you need to sacrifice something that matters to you to offer something that matters more to someone else. As a lover, he would give her the world, but in this cursed case, he had to give up his world for her. He had to give up on her.

He blinked back tears and blew out a calming breath, trying to dry up them as if a claw ripped open his memories, pulled out what was left of his heart, and dropped it on the floor. He didn't deserve to cry, to find a piece of relief. He just deserved a raw, aching wound that would stay fresh until he died.

Satoru pushed back the chair and rose. He slowly bent over her, and his fingers gently brushed a lock of hair on her face without touching her skin. His hand hung in the air for a moment, as if he didn't know what to do with it. What was he supposed to do with these hands? Just pouring blood? He leaned down, and his cheeks touched her hair. It was still soft, but now the strands smelled of blood and dirt. He turned his face, and his warm breath struck her ear lobe.

"When you see me again, you'll hate me." He smiled what was probably the most painful-looking smile, simply because he didn't want to do what he had to, but he had no choice. "It'll be worth it," he murmured in her ear. "Because you'll wake up." For him, she was a type of flower that could still grow after a forest fire. And the sight of her made him sad without effort.

It is what it is. A fucked-up situation, with no escape for Satoru. After all, aren't we all a bunch of sad people doing what we have to do to make it until tomorrow? Some of us are sadder than others, and some of us luckier.

"I miss knowing you're waiting for me. I miss the peace I felt with you. I miss the dumb fights that kept us quiet until the next time or made us laugh. I miss holding your hand. I miss you holding back. I miss you not holding back. I miss your burnt food. I miss those nights when we didn't want to stop being together. I miss you getting so pissed at something I would say or do and trying to deal with it on your own until I made you fess up. I miss surprising you. I miss being surprised by the glimpse of your humanity every now and then. I miss the look you would get when I would touch your cheek. I miss how you thought you were so stealthy with your cursed energy when you really couldn't hide your presence from me, because you wanted to be found by me." He sniffed. "Most of all, I miss your hugs. I didn't need them often, but now I do. It sucks to know you won't give them to me anymore." A tear formed and spilled down his cheek. Just one lonely tear. He raised his head and angrily wiped it out with his sleeve. "I miss my home, Y/N." His voice was like a saw cutting bones.

It hurt to be without her. The thought of it made his stomach feel like it was full of tight, knotted ropes, and they were all about to snap. He was too weak to endure but had to pretend he was strong. He closed his eyes, and his expression tightened up like all his facial muscles held in his emotions and only managed to contain them.

He clenched his fists, and his nails dug into his palms as if he was trying not to lose it. Walls could witness him silently screaming, suffocating with each breath he took, holding onto his agony.

"Y/N, forgive me and forget—" He felt something else trapped in his chest other than his voice. Maybe it was a few extra heartbeats. Maybe it was an erupting volcano. Maybe it was his last ...

Never before had he wanted to say so much but said so little; felt so much but stayed so silent. He didn't know what to do with these feelings. So he wadded them up and tried to keep them stuffed in his throat, stomach, or wherever people tucked away this shit.

He looked at her once again and then turned his back on her; even though it was gut-wrenching for him, he strode towards the door. It would sound entirely mythical to say that he didn't look back, but that wasn't true. It was like the last moment before the string between them fell apart. He was about to return, but he knew that he would never be able to leave there if he returned. So no matter how hard it was, he shoved his hand in his pocket, pulled out a blindfold, hid his sad eyes from the whole world, and opened the door.

The sky was on fire when he walked outside. He shielded his hand over his covered eyes, forgetting how assaulting the light always was when tears scorched his eyes. As he expected, Shoko was standing outside. He walked towards her with the slowest steps, like a magnet leaving its magnetic circuit.

"I'll do it," he said, with no preamble.

Shoko looked at him with concern. "Are you sure?"

Satoru's gaze was locked on an unknown spot that didn't seem to be in this world.

"Didn't you say this was the only way to wake her and prove her innocence?"

Although she couldn't see his eyes, she could hear the back-breaking pain in his voice, just like a very deep wound that was impossible to heal. "But..."

"I deserve it," declared Satoru and walked away from his friend with long paces.

The sun had been in the sky for a long time, and its combination with autumn colors had given a particular warmth to the landscape. Today was one of those beautiful autumn days abounding in stories and seldom found in the real world. It could have remained as it was, but sadly the blood was about to be spilled.

Tag list: @hecateria @whattowritewhattonot @readxeer00 @sunamew @yoongi-holland @sanokana @soft--grunge--burrito @move-in-mysterious-ways @tanu003097 @spookytreeeagle @wonderlandjthedaydreamer @littlecarrot06 @kurooyy @angeliccutie007 @misaki17 @yungliddysyx @nanamiswh0r3 @smokeyfuzz @sumii @zukisbabe @geidly @evalynanne @antheialy

[doomedandstoned]

GÉVAUDAN Unveil Powerful Lovecraftian Journey in ‘Umbra’

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

Album Art by Erskine Designs

I love it when bands go for epic. With concept firm in hand, four-piece English progressive doomers GÉVAUDAN reveal a one-track 43-minute epic in 'Umbra' (2023), the band's second LP following the well-received 'Iter' (2019).

Some songs are written to get your body moving and your head banging, and so release a lot of energy in a short space of time. Other songs are written for the long-haul, supporting the unfurling narrative of a story old, grand, mysterious, and surprising.

Gévaudan's penchant for storytelling is worthy of the baffling tale of the Beast of Gévaudan itself, a puzzling corner of history three centuries past. This epic tale seems at times to characterize a carousing beast or the sorrowful cries of its victims or the brimming rage of loved ones headed into the forest to hunt the thing that is like a wolf, yet not a wolf.

Some hints of the band's intentions can be gleaned from the album title, umbra being the darkest place in a shadow. The piece begins with the unsettling scratch of dissonant guitar, like a cloud of electrified mist. Then comes the slow, deliberate thump-thump-thump of the drums. The first doom riff and sorrowful verse emerges:

I’m waiting in the dawn light, clawing, tongue like dirt Bleeding wounds that unwind, nails worn through Screaming, wordless prayer

For a voice this plaintive, you'd have to go to Rainbo from Portland, Oregon's Purification or The Wizard from the late, great Pilgrim. There is genuine mourning here, with words reminiscent of the downcast prayers of King David. Like the Psalmist, the eyes of lyricist Adam Pirmohamed seem to lift heavenward, to the invisible, esoteric realms of God and the soul.

And I slumber, in His embrace He cradles me to death And I slumber, in His faith He caresses, within my flesh

You may wonder how to take the words, just reading them at face value, but Adam has a way of convincing you of them on an intuitive level, such is the sincerity and relatability of his singing. Meanwhile, guitarist Bruce Hamilton gives release to the moment with a dazzling heavy metal solo that does some singing of its own.

When Adam returns to the mic, it is with conviction, and the vocal style becomes considerably more bold.

And I slumber, in His embrace! And I slumber, in His faith!

There follows at 12:43 a period of the sublimest peace, with the airy ambience of pleasant dreams, free from the burdens and cares of this life. In a note from the band, they reveal that the song is about battling depression, with strong Lovecraftian themes (see below).

A third section surfaces at 18:32, with the guitar strumming a triumphant theme and the rhythm section of Andy Salt (bass) and David Himbury (drums) supplying a lofty heartbeat. Adam's singing seems to embrace sunlight and blue skies following the sullen clouds of the first act. At 21:51 a whirling, climbing solo from Bruce, charged with grit and determination.

There is something vaguely Medieval about the riff we return to at 23:03, as though it were ruminating on past sins or future worries. Then at 23:40 bliss enters in the form of a psychedelic guitar set against noodling bass and the gentle tapping of drums and cymbals. The stern riff returns, though it seems to be right at home with its jazzier counterpart.

Then at 25:05 the mood shifts back to the depressive air of the start, and it might seem like defeat -- back to the status quo of gloominess and melancholy. But something has changed. There is reflection and a sense of perspective about the state of things, and an optimistic spirit rises above the morass.

I’m waiting in the dawn light Screaming, euphoria Sightless woodland Breathless blood

The presence of the synth gives it an otherworldly flare. Then at 32:52 piano, bass, and voice take us to the water's edge for a beautiful song within a song. It might have ended there, but the full band returns at 35:53 with wailing guitar and damning chords to truly finish the piece.

Standing at my hearth, I am showered with gold Strong foundations, I am king, I am known Growing inside, fearless soul of mine Brightest eyes, reflecting through mirrors

Now, as I mentioned, this is inspired by Lovecraft so there could be something stranger, more sinister afoot than I am aware of. I won't spoil those last four lines of the song (beginning at 38:21), but they may leave you questioning whatever you believed about the whole ordeal to begin with. I love the dark, droning synth that takes us into the void at the record's conclusion.

And with that, Gévaudan have created something unexpected and brilliant in Umbra. The album releases this weekend on vinyl, compact disc, and digital formats (pre-order here). Stick it on a playlist with Neurosis, Serpent Venom, Purification, Age of Taurus, and Pilgrim.

Give ear...

Umbra by Gévaudan

A Letter From The Band

We’re delighted to provide an exclusive stream of our second full-length album, Umbra, in partnership with Doomed & Stoned. This has been a while in the making, and we’re really excited to finally be releasing our most ambitious record to date, seeped in grandiose and epic doom.

Our new album, 'Umbra' (2023), evolved from the depths. Through a single 43-minute concept, it explores depression through the eyes of Eldritch horror, culminating in the unrelenting shadow that’s imparted on its sufferer -- a battle of light, stalked by darkness. As you may have come to expect from Gévaudan, this is monolithic, progressive, and highly emotive doom.

It was late 2020 when the first riffs for Umbra appeared in the studio. We felt we’d really found our niche through our debut, ‘Iter’ (2019), and made a conscious decision that our next record was going to take some of the more epic elements even further. Since our inception in 2013, we’d had a strong desire to write a concept album - something vast and atmospheric. It felt like the appropriate time to embark on the piece and see how our sound would translate onto a 40+ minute canvas for the next album.

Our writing process took on a far more live and collaborative approach. Whilst riff-master-general, Bruce, continued to bring riffs into the studio which we adopted, refined, and worked into fully formed ideas. We also took more time to jam and evolve parts, and created more in the room collaboratively. This helped to fully shape the progression and tonal shifts we wanted to achieve.

Lyricist and vocalist Adam has always taken the lead on the thematics. When thinking of concepts for the album, we wanted to take a different approach than usual. We’ve covered a lot of fantasy, history, and the occult; and whilst we didn’t want to stray too far from that, we wanted to write something with more of a personal and relatable element.

At the time, Adam was managing a bout of depression and kind of fell naturally into writing about how they were feeling -- almost an indescribable and ominous feeling, a sense of something looming. From that feeling it felt instinctive to use themes and ideas of Eldritch Horror as an allegory for depression and distress, and it was rewarding to write about a relatable topic whilst still staying true to our known themes and tones.

An important part of our evolution on this album is the introduction of piano and synth. They have extended the layers and palettes we can play with and have allowed us to explore different textures and writing approaches.

As part of the completely immersive concept approach, the cover art was another key ingredient. The impressive cover artwork has been developed by Erskine Designs. Conceptually and tonally, it’s the perfect accompaniment of the aforementioned themes.

The dynamics of our song writing have always been a key ingredient to our musical approach, and we were fortunate to have the opportunity to work with producer and engineer Mike Exeter in the studio again.

Finally, we’re really excited to be working with Meuse Music Records on this release. They have been incredibly supportive in bringing our vision to life on physical formats, and are a really great team to be collaborating with.

Please sit back, lower the lights, and crank up the volume to indulge in this epic musical journey.

Follow The Band

Get Their Music

[our-time-is-now]

September 26, 2019 (2): I know, sometimes sisters just suck…

(previous play)

You can find more information about the authors, translators, content warning and additional information about the plays in the pinned post on our blog.  

Thursday, 3:31 pm:

David: has underestimated the distance to Alex’ apartment a little and realizes while walking that he isn’t really that fit yet but is so angry and disappointed because of Laura that he doesn’t care about any of it can feel tears of anger welling up in his eyes at some part of the way, because what Laura has accused him of hurts him so much and because he doesn’t understand how a discussion about a bit of money could get this out of hand angrily wipes them away and continues walking is quite glad when he eventually reaches the shore of the river Spree and that it’s not that far away now finally arrives at the house in which Alex’ apartment is located and realizes that the front door downstairs is open takes the lift upstairs and only then considers that he maybe should have asked in advance to see if Alex is even at home finally reaches Alex’ floor, takes another deep breath and then rings the doorbell knocks on the door a moment later to signal him that he’s already upstairs

Alex: has worked out over noon and then had a nice long shower is now wearing sweatpants and a hoodie and considers making something to eat or ordering something was just about to go check what’s in his fridge when he hears the doorbell and a knock shortly thereafter slides over the floor toward the door doesn’t press the buzzer and instead opens the door immediately is surprised to see David Hey… what are you doing here? Did I forget we had plans? quickly thinks about if they had any plans only then notices how done David is looking Hang on, did you walk here?

David: is relieved when the door opens and Alex is standing in front of him Hey… smiles slightly even though he’s actually still upset slightly shakes his head at his question and simply goes inside thinks that Alex would kick him out if it’s a bad time No, you didn’t forget anything… then takes a deep breath and looks a little gloomy again was just about to tell him that he had an argument with Laura when he hears Alex’ question frowns a little confused because he doesn’t quite understand why that’s important right now Umm… yes?! slightly shakes his head But that felt quite good to be honest… to calm down… I had a really bad fight with Laura…

Alex: lets him come inside and closes the door behind him turns around and looks at him is relieved that he didn’t forget anything Okay… shakes his head when he says that he walked That’s not good, David… next time you’ll call me, then I’ll pick you up, okay? but then hears that he had an argument and swallows down his speech Okay… then have a seat first… I’ll make us some cocoa and then you’ll tell me about it, ok? somehow feels really weird and only realizes once he’s already in the kitchen that he feels honored that David came to him quickly prepares two big mugs of cocoa and then calls over Hot or cold?

David: turns around to him when he says that it wasn’t good, sighs quietly and nods Yes, okay… but I’m really already doing better… and… no idea… I was so angry and didn’t even think about it… smiles slightly when he says that he’ll make some cocoa and because he doesn’t continue nagging about the fact that he walked so far says quietly Thanks… goes to the sofa and takes his shoes off before he sits down and pulls his legs up gets comfortable and realizes that he’s getting a little calmer briefly thinks at Alex’ question but then calls over Hot… somehow finds hot cocoa more calming and thinks that the temperatures are already allowing for hot cocoa by now

Alex: puts both mugs in the microwave and sets it to 2 minutes thinks that maybe it’s not a bad thing if David can calm down a little before he talks It’s done any second now… then also gets a packet of cookies from the cabinet and already takes it over to David Good for your nerves… grins slightly and then goes back waits for the microwave to beep and gets the mugs out goes back again and puts the mugs down on the table before taking a seat across from David Okay… shoot… what did Laura do?

David: nods when Alex says that it’s done in a second and grins slightly when he already brings over cookies I need those now… thanks! opens the pack and takes one out before putting the pack down next to him on the couch then sees that Alex is bringing the mugs over and that he joins him groans briefly at his question and slightly shakes his head thinks where best to start then exhales and realizes that he’s already getting angry again Somehow it was really stupid - a stupid discussion that somehow got out of hand. My parents always transferred my share of the rent and utilities for the old apartment to Laura… and I got some kind of allowance to my bank account. Anyways, we’re paying less for the flatshare, but my parents still want to transfer the same amount and she wants to give me the entire differential amount. I said that we should share… or save it… I don’t need more money, I can make due with my money! And then it somehow started and it escalated… scoots forward on the sofa to grab his mug of cocoa from the table can feel that it hurts less and less in his stomach, scoots back to the couch with his mug almost without any problems and takes a sip

Alex: also takes a cookie after David opens the pack then listens to him and frowns a little at the end Okay… so… don’t get me wrong, but why don’t you want more money? sees David glower at him Okay, okay… let me guess… you felt patronized? She just decided it? sips from his cocoa and thinks that there has to be something else behind it

David: gives Alex an annoyed secretary’s-office-look at his question, but then nods at his next question Yes, somehow she did. She basically just told me how it’s gonna be… parrots her slightly “I don’t want to discuss this with you right now, David!” pfffs We also could have had a normal conversation about it. And she knows exactly that I can make due with my money, but she makes it seem as if I’m god knows how irresponsible and that without that money I wouldn’t have a chance to survive somehow… sure, a little bit more money is always nice… but she doesn’t exactly earn all that much herself… so it would only be fair if we shared the money… slightly shakes his head But like I said, that was only the beginning… then it somehow escalated. She said something about her being responsible for me and that she busted her ass for me and crap like that… takes another sip of cocoa and then scoots forward again to put the mug back down onto the table can feel once again how much Laura’s words hurt and annoy him

Alex: listens to him and nods slightly can imagine that David’s idea of just apparently wasn’t the same as Laura’s listens to him further and then gets his confirmation that there’s more to it Ahhh… I see… looks at him And? Did she? Bust her ass for you, I mean? Or are you only pissed because it sounds as if you owed her something?

David: scoots back on the couch again, sits down cross-legged and grabs a throw pillow to fumble with the edges of it huffs quietly at his question and shrugs Yes, sure… somehow she did. But I didn’t ask it of her, you understand?! She helped me to enroll at a new school and she organized a car so that we could get my stuff and she helped me organize the bed and the shelf… okay… and she took care of my parents so that they’d give me money… but it’s not like I just put my feet up and pretended as if it were a given! I thanked her thousands of times! Again and again! And it’s not like I didn’t manage anything by myself… I also took care of quite a lot by myself. But now she makes it seem as if she /had/ to do all of that… as if she had been responsible for me. I never asked any of that from her. I somehow also would have managed it on my own… but you know what’s the worst thing? I thought doing all of that was her pleasure! I thought she does it because I’m her brother and because siblings help each other… But now it sounds as if I’m somehow only a burden and a responsibility and someone who can’t manage anything by himself. I really don’t want to be accused of everything she’s done for me with each fight that we’ll have in the future! has abused the pillow while he was talking and now throws it back into a corner of the sofa

Alex: listens to him attentively lifts his eyebrows a little at first when David lists all the things Laura did thinks that’s really a lot and that it was pretty nice of her but then understands toward the end what it’s about for David and nods slightly Yes, sure, I get that… she shouldn’t keep bringing it up again and again to get what she wants… then thinks briefly But it also sounds more as if she was angry that you didn’t simply accept her decision, doesn’t it? then shrugs one shoulder Well if you want to hear my opinion, then it sounds as if you two have to clear up some basics… well, your relationship to each other, basically… it’s actually not a sister’s job to take care of all the things she took care of, is it?

David: reaches for a cookie and bites into it a little frustrated smiles slightly when Alex says that he understands him and nods Exactly! As if that were some kind of leverage or something… nods again, but then shrugs, after all Yes, somehow… I don’t know… ultimately, the fight barely had anything to do with money anymore… then looks at him interestedly when he announces his opinion immediately nods vigorously at his words Exactly! At the end she asked me what I even wanted and then I hit her with the fact that I wanted my sister back! I want my sister and not a second mother! Because that’s exactly the way she somehow acts right now. And sure, none of those things were her job… that would have actually been mine, because at that time, my mother still didn’t care… But I really thought she does this for support and because she likes helping me. Had I known that afterwards, she’d make it sound like /that/, then I would have preferred to take care of everything myself somehow… even if that would have meant sleeping on the floor for three months and getting a job so that I wouldn’t have to beg my parents for money… I would have done all of this just to keep my sister and to not have to deal with this reproachful, arrogant bitch she currently is…

Alex: sighs slightly when David immediately goes off like that again only nods slowly at everything he says Well, I don’t want to defend her, that’s not what this is about, okay? But I do think that doing all of that was her pleasure, helping you, I mean… she does love you, right? And sometimes you go a bit overboard with it… maybe she also felt attacked… or powerless or something? And that’s why she just dished it out? suddenly has to think of Sophie and that she once also told him that he wasn’t her father and that he should mind his own business swallows hard and then quickly grabs his mug again to take a sip

David: takes another bite off his cookie after he’s finished raving and looks at Alex skeptically when he hears the beginning of his sentence slightly shakes his head, then thinks again and shakes it again I really didn’t give her any cause to feel attacked or powerless… well, at least not at first. I just made a counter-suggestion for the money, but she didn’t take me seriously, at all… parrots her again “Don’t be silly, David!” - that’s also something parents say! That’s nothing a sister would say! And yes, okay, in the end I probably attacked her… but she started it… realizes that he sounds defiant and has to laugh quietly Yes, okay, that’s no reason, I know… and man, I’m sorry, I know you just want to help and you want me to understand her so that we can get closer again, but I also want her to understand /me/. And I don’t want to be treated like some depressive ungrateful child that can’t handle anything by himself. I did so much on my own! I don’t need any recognition or praise or something for it… but I do want people to see it… at least I don’t want her to accuse me of the opposite. Of course I care about her opinion… but I feel like she no longer really sees me. We haven’t talked like we did in the beginning in forever! She constantly has something to complain about! I can really do without a sister like that!

Alex: hears that David thinks that he didn’t give her any cause nods slightly but then listens to him further as he talks about his sister and how he’s bitchy and defiant and can’t help but think of Sophie and what he’d give for her to bitch at him once again hears David say that Laura doesn’t see him anymore and has to swallow really hard then hears his last sentence and doesn’t think before it spills out of him Dude, David, be glad that you still have your sister to bitch at! breathes heavily and realizes only now what he just said gets scared and backpedals quickly I mean… just be glad that you two care about each other… knows that it was a weak attempt, but can’t think clearly right now

David: has grabbed the pillow again while he raged and is taking a deep breath to continue talking when Alex interrupts him at first thinks that he misheard him and looks at him confused takes a moment for the words to register with him and feels his heartbeat speed up a little when he realizes what his words might mean - which is that either Alex and his sister are so estranged that they’re no longer in contact… or something worse then sees that he’s breathing heavier than he did a moment ago and is a little overwhelmed for a moment as to what to say or do then hears his attempt to somehow neutralize his words, but suddenly can’t really think about Laura anymore right now asks hesitantly, a little breathless and with his heart beating faster What is that supposed to mean, that I still have my sister? Do you… no longer have yours?

Alex: curses himself right now for letting it slip knows that it only happened because he already trusts David so much still wasn’t really ready to share that with him swallows once it’s obvious that his attempt at neutralizing it didn’t work looks away from him at the tabletop when he hears his question Sophie… died. Two and a half years ago. takes a deep breath and then looks at him But now it’s about your sister and not mine. Sorry, I didn’t want to spill that.

David: can see that Alex isn’t looking at him anymore and guesses that the comment just slipped out of him and that he didn’t really want to talk about his sister then hears that she really died and has to swallow hard while he sees that Alex takes a deep breath murmurs quietly Shit… that… I’m sorry, Alex… slightly shakes his head when he says that it’s about Laura and not about Sophie and even has to laugh a little disbelievingly You can’t seriously think that I’ll keep raging about Laura if you… Fuck man, I’m sorry that I’m making such a fuss, and you’d probably be glad if you could make one again… takes a deep breath and then looks at him scrutinizingly Do you want to tell me about it? About how she died? has to think about their conversation about the piano and that back then, Alex changed the topic quite quickly and told him that he’d tell him the story another time quickly adds Well only if you want to… realizes that somehow he has a thousand questions, but doesn’t want to seem insensitive or too nosey if it’s hard for Alex to talk about it in the first place

Alex: can feel his wall rebuild immediately when David apologizes doesn’t want pity and doesn’t want those looks looks up in shock when David laughs shakes his head You can always make a fuss… presses his lips together when he naturally asks questions actually wants to decline, wants to tell him that it’s not possible and that he doesn’t have to feel bad but then hears his addition and looks at him again looks at him and just knows that he can tell him, that he trusts David and that David will respect his boundaries swallows and then says quietly My sister was majorly depressed… it took a while until she found a therapist she could work with… once she was doing better she met a guy… he talked her into believing that she doesn’t need any of this, that the therapist would put her against him and it’s actually her family that is bad for her… so she took off to Bali with him… and got depressed again… that guy couldn’t deal with it… he left her alone or dragged her along to parties… he did drugs with her and I don’t know what else… takes a deep breath and plays with his rings I tried to get through to her… I kept saying that I’ll come visit her… or that I’d get her away from there… she took offense and at some point broke off all contact with me… and eventually, the German embassy contacted us… twists the rings on his fingers around …that was it.

David: can feel that Alex doesn’t want pity and thinks that he should have realized it himself because he’s not the type for it slightly shakes his head at his words and says quietly I know… but it’s not always only about me… can feel Alex hesitate when he asks and thinks that he’ll accept it immediately if Alex doesn’t want to talk about it, but that he wishes that Alex trusts him enough that he’ll maybe open up to him, after all is then almost surprised when Alex immediately starts talking without beating around the bush and listens to him briefly presses his lips together when he tells him about her illness, and frowns slightly when he mentions the guy nods in between, to show him that he’s listening, and feels a small lump in his throat when Alex tells him that he tried to get through to her and that she broke off all contact with him swallows slightly when he finishes and lets all of that sink in eventually asks quietly And how did she die?

Alex: swallows at David’s question was hoping that it would be obvious and that he wouldn’t have to say it out loud takes the last sip of his cocoa because his throat is so dry She killed herself. puts the mug back on the table The doctors said it was an involuntary overdose, but she was depressed and wasn’t getting any treatment… slightly balls his fists The asshole just let her keep taking drugs… shakes his head thanks to Mia and his therapist, he has learned to manage his aggression and anger towards Björn No matter what happened… she was sick and she didn’t have any help. looks up and at David So when I say that you can be glad that Laura is here and that you fight about how much she helped you… then I mean it just like that… I know, sometimes sisters simply suck and right now you’re angry… but maybe you’ll just ask yourself for a second where you would be without her…

David: keeps listening to Alex, hears that Sophie has killed herself and something about an overdose, but somehow feels like there’s a ringing in his ears because all of this is so horrible but tries to concentrate on Alex and nods again slightly at what he tells him can imagine that Alex is pretty furious with the guy who didn’t take proper care of his sister and who let it come this far swallows slightly when he says that she didn’t have help and swallows even more when Alex looks again and makes implications about Laura doesn’t really want to imagine where he’d be without her and feels a lump in his throat swallows against it, clears his throat and then says with a very scratchy quiet voice I know… you’re right… briefly closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and tries to collect himself then looks at Alex and says quietly All of that’s really pretty hard… and I… well I can imagine that it’s hard to talk about it and if I say or ask anything stupid or something that you don’t want to answer then just tell me, okay? waits for his okay before he hesitantly asks And how do you fare with it now? I mean, are you somehow dealing with it?

Alex: hears how scratchy David’s voice is and is a little moved by it, but also feels embarrassed about it was just about to offer him something to drink, also to calm down a little himself, when David already talks again nods slightly when he says that he should tell him if he says something stupid then hears his question and has to laugh quietly and bitterly for a second Well you can see me now… am I dealing with it? shrugs one shoulder I wasn’t really able to deal with it, no… school was a catastrophe, my parents didn’t care… it was obvious pretty quickly that I won’t pass my Abi… and then Mia confronted me in the middle of the school yard… smiles briefly So, well, since I got together with Mia and since I started going to therapy on a regular basis again it’s been better… do you remember Heidesee? When you wanted to know something personal about me and I told you about my fear of loss? Now you know where that comes from… and part of it was also anger and aggression, panic attacks and the inability to allow myself to feel… briefly presses his lips together But how do the therapists put it? It’ll get better step by step. So yes, I’m doing better than only a year ago and much better than two years ago…

David: hears his question and also briefly shrugs one shoulder so far, felt that he does somehow deal with it, but also had the feeling that there was more to Alex… that he had his reasons why he is the way he is, that there have to be reasons for his fear of loss and aloofness and reasons for him being in therapy, and he now thinks that Sophie’s death surely is one of the main reasons for that - apart from his weird parents probably then listens to him further, nods and smiles slightly when he mentions Mia and when he also smiles then nods more vigorously when he asks about Heidesee then hears that he doesn’t only have fear of loss but also a lot more and suddenly finds all of that somehow pretty logical and understandable then smiles slightly when he repeats a typical therapist-sentence and nods says quietly I’m happy that you’re doing a little better… then briefly gnaws on his bottom lip and hesitates again before he says It somehow explains a lot… well I think most people in your situation would experience fear of loss… if you know what happened to you, then you can understand it… slightly clears his throat and then asks Who knows about it?

Alex: smiles slightly when he says that he’s happy that he’s doing better Yes, so am I… nods slightly when he says that it’s understandable Yes, maybe… no idea… as you know, I don’t care all that much if others understand me or not… then presses his lips together when he hears his next question Back then I had this buddy - Sam… he only knows that she died, but no details… and then Mia and now you. looks at David and can already imagine what his next question will be And I can’t really tell you why. I never wanted for that to be my thing, you know? Oh, there’s Hardenberg, the one who lost his sister… shrugs one shoulder So I never told anyone and so word never got around.

David: has to grin slightly when Alex says that it’s not that important to him if others understand him, but then gets serious again immediately when he presses his lips together hears that actually only Mia knows about it and an old buddy knows part of it and grimaces slightly at the thought how lonely Alex must have been during that time and how awful it must be to somehow deal with it by yourself wants to ask him why he didn’t tell more people about it when Alex already explains it himself humms thoughtfully and murmurs quietly I can somehow understand that… that you didn’t want to be reduced to that… then shakes his head a little But that you haven’t told anyone… well, that you really thought that everyone would see you this way… What about this Sam? Why didn’t you tell him everything?! I mean, if your parents already didn’t care… you /have/ to talk to someone, right? wonders how one can deal with something like that on your own

Alex: presses his lips together when David asks further questions then looks away from him toward the kitchen has to think about the conversations that his parents tried to have with him and when he knew exactly that they didn’t really want to do that but also thinks about how difficult it was to tell Mia about it and how alone he felt afterward therefore shakes his head a little answers briefly One doesn’t have to do anything, okay? then looks back on the table and finally at David, after all Leave it, okay? It is what it is and that’s the end of it. thinks that David should actually understand it, because he didn’t want to tell anyone that he’s trans, either but then also thinks that this probably isn’t comparable and that probably no one can understand him who didn’t go through the same shit as he did

David: can feel that Alex doesn’t really like his question when he looks away and hesitates nods slightly and hesitantly at his words and murmurs quietly Yes, okay, right… still wonders if he didn’t sometimes feel the urge didn’t really have that all too often, himself, but at least he knew that he always could have gone to Bea and Laura if he wanted to, which he didn’t want to do all that often in order to not burden them too much and so that they wouldn’t worry wonders if Alex might have felt similar and that he didn’t want the people around him to worry, but then thinks that you can’t really compare the situations then looks at him scrutinizingly when he suggests leaving it be, but then accepts it and nods slightly takes another sip of cocoa, which is cold by now, but which doesn’t bother him, and sighs quietly wonders if Alex wants to put the topic of Sophie behind him in general or if he just doesn’t want to talk about what it was like after her death looks at him and then asks carefully And what was Sophie like? Before she got so sick… was she similar to you?

Alex: is relieved when David agrees and then really leaves it be takes the last sip of his cold cocoa and then leans back is just considering whether he should ask David about Laura again now to change the topic when David asks about Sophie some more is pretty surprised briefly thinks and then shrugs one shoulder No… I don’t think so… she was pretty chaotic… a free spirit as my mother used to put it… she always wanted to try and explore everything… she used to make up plays and performed them to us… to me and the nanny, that is… very rarely also to my parents… she always wanted to be an actress… slightly shrugs one shoulder thanks to Mia and his therapist, he can now talk about Sophie without immediately wanting to hole himself up, but he still doesn’t consider it pleasant or freeing as some people might find it

David: is happy when Alex really talks some more about Sophie and smiles slightly at his words, and a little more at his tales about the theater Sounds pretty creative… What were her plays about? grins slightly And were the nanny and you a good audience? I mean, with siblings something like that sometimes also annoys you… I once had a phase where I constantly wrote stories that I wanted to read to Laura, and at first she still listened very patiently, but eventually I think it got a little too much for her… takes another cookie from the pack and then remembers something else Was Sophie younger or older than you?

Alex: smiles slightly Oh, always about the strong girl that travels the world… and always different people that she meets and so on… then laughs slightly Yes, eventually it got annoying… when I rather wanted to listen to music or watch TV… but she always gave me puppy-dog eyes and begged and then I just watched it… then looks at David What were your stories about? also takes another cookie because he feels like it’s getting easier now She was older than me, by the way… two years…

David: sees that Alex is smiling when he asks about the theater plays and is a little happy that he apparently likes to remember it grins slightly at his answer So strong women and so on… nods tellingly while still grinning Not bad… then has to laugh quietly when Alex tells him about the puppy-dog eyes and the begging and then suddenly sees himself standing before Laura asking her to put her book aside and to listen to him instead gets pulled from his thoughts when Alex asks him about his stories and chuckles and exhales Oh… the usual, somehow… about some boys that experience big adventures, fight evil, help the weak… stuff like that… laughs quietly If we had known each other back then then maybe I could have written a script for your sister… then hears how old she was and nods

Alex: grins slightly when David talks about his books and even more so when he says that he could have written the script You two surely would have gotten along… nods slowly Sometimes I wonder what she would have thought of Mia… or now of all of you… it’s somehow weird to imagine it… she probably would have found Kiki annoying, but Sam super cool… grins slightly She would have argued with Jonas and she probably would have had a crush on Matteo… shrugs one shoulder and sighs slightly Well… doesn’t matter…

David: lowers his gaze a little embarrassed and overwhelmed when Alex says that they surely would have gotten along well and thinks that it’s really sad that they can never find it out then looks at Alex again when he voices his thoughts and nods smiles slightly when he tries to gauge Sophie's thoughts about the friend group and thinks that surely the people must have grown on him now if he thinks about what his sister would have thought of them shakes his head with a small chuckle at the end when he’s talking about Matteo, but bites back on some semi-jealous comment sighs quietly at his final statement and briefly presses his lips together eventually says quietly I don’t think that it doesn’t matter… it’s rather sad that you can no longer find it out… smiles again slightly But you probably guessed quite right… you just knew her… then grins a little Well… or… if you believe in the fact that the soul really somehow lives on then it might also be possible that right now Sophie is thinking: “What crap is Alex talking right now!? I never would have gotten into discussions with Jonas” or something… slightly presses his lips together and says half as a conclusion But no matter what, Alex… she surely would be glad that you’re doing better… and that you have Mia…

Alex: nods slightly when David says that it’s sad Yes, it is… then really has to laugh quietly when David talks about her soul Yes, or she’d say: “Hello, if I had a crush on Matteo then I would find David stupid and wouldn’t let him write any scripts for me”. finds fooling around with David nice somehow, even though he didn’t even know Sophie tilts his head a little at his last sentence Yes, maybe… I hope so… then takes a deep breath Okay but now: Another cocoa? Let’s talk about Laura again? And yes, that’s totally okay… I won’t break down just because we’re talking about another sister for a change, I promise.

David: also laughs quietly when Alex really jumps in on his musings True! So we’ll cross out the crush on Matteo! I already have a crush on him. And if Sophie also had one, then it would be difficult for her and me to be friends… then nods again very confidently at his hope and adds a little more serious …and maybe she’d also be glad that someone else knows about it now… well apart from Mia and Sam… that you have someone else to talk about it if you ever have the urge, after all… smiles slightly …someone who’s grateful that you trusted him with it… even if it wasn’t planned and intentional and even if it only slipped out… slightly presses his lips together and shrugs No idea… maybe she’d like that… then also takes a deep breath, empties his mug at Alex’ question, and nods then smiles slightly at his addition And even if, now I would know why… then struggles up to go to the kitchen with Alex says in the meantime And about Laura… sighs quietly No idea… I think I really have to let all of this sink in first… and then talk to her again…

Alex: can hear what else he says about Sophie and also thinks that he might be right, but can’t and doesn’t want to think about it any further right now actually finds it nice that he can talk to David like this, but also thinks that he simply doesn’t know Sophie therefore only nods slightly at everything Yes, maybe… but… like I said… moves his head to say “not any more right now” is glad when David comes to the kitchen with him takes his mug from him and prepares two new cocoas then nods when he talks about Laura again Yes, I think so, too… sounds as if both of you have to calm down a little…

David: drinks another cocoa with Alex after they sat back on the couch and talks to him about Laura some more but somehow feels as if the topic somehow lost momentum or rather that he doesn't really want to whine about Laura in front of Alex any further feels like what Alex just told him about Sophie has to sink in with him first, but that this fact still doesn’t diminish his currently negative feelings toward Laura still finds it pretty hurtful and stupid that Laura acted that way eventually glances at the clock and realizes that it’s already a little after 5 and that he’s been at Alex’ for almost two hours glances at his phone and sees that he has a few texts from Matteo and that at the end, he also asked him if everything was okay because he hasn’t replied in so long quickly texts him back that he’ll tell him later and that he’s looking forward to seeing him then feels how much he misses Matteo and spontaneously looks up connections from Alex to Lambda to pick Matteo up from work shares this thought with Alex, who immediately offers to drive him to Lambda feels a little bad to still use Alex’ shuttle services even though he’s already more or less fit, but then lets Alex talk him into driving him to Lambda, after all

(next play)

[isayyyy07]

Shortstory

The living corpses

•Leejhay ignacio

Characters;

Abi: The stunning young woman to be admired and feared.

Uncle Miguel: The Kind uncle

Auntie Cassie: The Crybaby and lovable auntie

Kyrix: A man willing to sacrifice for the love of his life.

Living Corpses: Symbolize the nightmare

On May 13, 2019, A family buried their loved one in the wide and quiet cemetery of Allegre in Camalig, Albay. Friday the 13th, it's a gloomy day, this day so many beliefs have come true on this day.

One day, in the serene region of Camalig Albay, at a big, calm cemetery. On May 13, 2019. A woman does not show her emotions, she is Abi, the shy, Feared and beautiful girl, with her Aunt Cassie who is mourning the loss of her beloved Miguel. She could hear her aunt's crying while slowly lowering her Uncle Miguel's coffin to its final destination.

"Miguel, my love, how could you leave me?". Her Aunt Cassie continued to cry.

She looked around and saw everyone crying. Her Uncle Miguel was a good person but he lost his life immediately due to Brain Tumor disease. Abi just remained emotionless at what was happening. Not even a drop of tears came out of her eyes. She didn't know why but she didn't want everyone to see that she was sad. 

Abi left there without anyone noticing. he just walked away slowly. pondering... Wondering why God takes good people like Uncle Miguel early. He thought, why is the world so unfair? Her Uncle Miguel's whole life was full of suffering. When her Aunt Cassie came into his life, he was only happy there. Then it turns out that it won't last long either because it didn't just give love life but also a serious illness. If only they were rich, her uncle would still be alive because she would be able to treat him.

Abi just keeps walking until she notices what looks like a grave moving from the ground. Her fur immediately stood up in fear. Scratching in her chest with the growing suspicion in her mind, until her suspicion came true. She recoiled when she saw a hand suddenly appear from the ground! Her eyes slowly widened in a man suddenly get up from the grave with a decomposing body!  

“c-come h-here I n-need y-you!!!"

“Ahhhh!!!" Abi couldn't hold back anymore and she started screaming while running away from the living corpse. She ran fast like there was no tomorrow. She looked at the living corpse as she ran and noticed that it had difficulty moving. He Smile as he chased her. He said some words that Abi could hardly understand.

"Help! help me!"   Abi shouted as she ran. She tripped until she caught up with him.

"You are mine, I will kill you!!!!"   The living corpse said in a high pitched voice.

"No, stay away from me" Abi shouted.

As the living corpse was getting closer, she only got a good look at its scary and ugly face.

"You're going to die!!!"

She just realized that she was being choked by the stinking hand of a living corpse and she could barely breathe.

"H-h-helppp" he said with difficulty.

Abi thought of the people she loved that she would leave. The father, mother, aunt, and her lover kyrix. Now she realized that if she were to die now, she would have a lot of regrets that she didn't do. This is really the end of it. Will they soon be with his Good uncle. She didn't think that she would die here. Suddenly, someone hit the head of the living corpse from behind. Her 

lover Kyrix saved her.

"Stand up, Abi! we have to get out of here"

Kyrix's face showed fear but he knew it was encouraging her. Abi hugged Kyrix and started crying.

"but there are living corpses, Kyy! I'm scared!" She sobbed into his chest.

"I know, but you don't have to face them alone. I'm here and I'd do anything to protect you, nothing bad will happen, okay?" Kyy said with smiling.

"You're going to die!!" from where another group of living corpses is coming.

"Let's go" Kyrix couldn't continue what he was going to say because Abi kissed him on the lips.

"What is that for?" Kyrix asked breathlessly.

"I thought I was going to die earlier, so I thought about things. One of the regrets is that I'll die not being able to tell you that I love you so much" Abi said with a smile.

"What are you serious, Abi?

"I don't want to tell you yet, but we might die here. I'm happy that you're here, You've given me a reason to hope that we can survive here."

and Kyrix pulled her away from the living corpses. 

They were able to mislead the living corpses that were chasing them. But suddenly she thought of her Aunt Cassie. They went to the location of her Uncle Miguel's grave and saw people running.

Kyrix pulled her away from her Uncle Miguel's grave again.

"Kyy, my aunt and cousins ​​are still there!, I have to go back to them!" Abi cries as they run.

"There is nothing we can do, Abi! this cemetery is full of living corpses. when you come back you will die!" Kyrix said loudly 

because the living corpses were moaning loudly. They ran and ran as if there was no end. Until they met a group of living corpses.

“What shall we do, Kyrix? this is a dead end! we're going to die!"

Abi is tightly clinging to Kyrix's arm seems to be going crazy. Kyrix was panicking but he was trying to calm himself down for Abi.

“ohhhhh!!!" The living corpses moaned at the same time.

they are already surrounded by them, as if they are desperate for them, to kill them.

"Kyy!!" She couldn't do anything but hug Kyrix tightly. Kyrix couldn't do anything but wait for their death. They hugged each other tightly while whispering how much they love each other. They had lost hope of surviving the living corpses. They also prayed together. At that time, only a miracle could save them.

That's when Abi woke up. She got up panting and immediately took water from the fridge. She drank all the contents of the jug, but it was as if she couldn't get rid of the fear she felt. She was still shaking with fear, and she felt that everything was very real. it's cold in the middle of the night, he's afraid that maybe when she goes to sleep again, she will dream again what she dreamed earlier.

The next day, Abi saw her Uncle Miguel and Aunt Cassie watching "Magandang Buhay" together. They were very happy. In her dream, her Uncle Miguel died but he was stronger than the buffalo. He was also not sick. Kyrix is ​​not really her lover. After all, Abi is even fantasizing about it. Almost everything she saw last night is the opposite of real life. Abi is also thankful, because in that dream she was given an important message and that's how you make the people who matter to you feel how much you love them, because in the end you'll be the one to regret it.

[occult-roommates]

Dawud Sahan

Age: 23 years old

Birthday: March 21st 1996

Gender: Male (he/him)

Hometown: Oasis Spring, Arizona, USA

Occupation: Janitor

Traits: Genius, gloomy, lazy

Aspiration: Nerd brain

Occult: No

Dawud was born in Oasis Spring to loving parents from Iraq. An extremely smart child, he had a pretty decent childhood up until his parents divorce and father’s death two years later. Nonetheless, he kept on being brilliant in school, mostly cause he used it as a way to forget his grief, causing him to graduate early and go to university in hope of becoming an aerospatial engineer. Sadly, once in university, gifted child syndrome hit him hard, he failed most of his class and dropped out in his third year. Unable to bring himself to tell his mother, he moved to the mysterious town of Strangerville to live with his childhood friend, Audrey, with whom he’s been living in for a bit over a year now. Unemployed and miserable, his luck seemed to turn around when he witnessed mysterious phenomena near the Stangerville research lab, and a government employee frantically gave him money to relocate to San Myshuno, the world capital, on top of a job as a janitor at the San Myshuno International Airport (SMIA). It might not be much, but if it’s what he needs to turn his life around, he’ll take it.

CC used and more under the cut

Hair: Realm of Magic Facial hair: Base game Freckles: Dolly freckles by Sagittariahx* Eyes: Petrichor eyes by Rheallsim Skin: Vanilla skin by Luumia Lips: Real lips revisited by Pictureamoebae Shirt: Discover University Pants: Chino pants recolor by Double-Plumbob Body hair: Body hair v5+ by Luumia Pose: Male pose 12 by Helgatisha Background: Accessory cas background by I-heart-pudding and SonyaSimsCC

My shading is from Pixlr using the effect Sara at 80% under the Friend category. It is not a game reshade and is simply for making the screenshot nicer looking.

If I’ve made a mistake on any of these please just politely let me know so I can correct it. 

*Take note I’ve had these freckles since 2019 and there’s a fair chance nowaday they might no longer work.

Other characters: Kino | Akva | Charlie | Daniele | Rudi | Audrey | Ralf | Matteo

[photoaria]

Name: Aria Boughton Occupation: Freelance Photographer Age: 27 Sexuality: Lesbian Species: Vampire Clan/Pack/Coven?: Clan Reardon Hometown: Geraldton, Western Australia Relationship Status: Single Personality Traits: Ambitious, Loyal, Discreet, Obsessive, Insecure

Biography

2002 - A photo of a six year old Aria, missing a front tooth and grinning widely at the camera.

Aria had always been a firecracker of a kid, mouthing off and talking back to everyone who would listen to whatever she had to say. At six years old, she was the very picture of a boisterous spitfire, with very large dreams. Her step-father was much more around than her birth father was and spent many hours wearing her out with playground games, wrestling, and just generally chasing her around the house. Her mother did try, but she spent much of her time at work as a nurse as a local hospital.

2007 - A photo of Aria with a disposable camera, squinting and sticking out her tongue and trying to concentrate of getting the perfect shot.

Eleven was the age that Aria first found her love of photography. Gifted a disposable camera by her mother, she went around and took too many pictures of any and everything she could find. She pretended to be a famous photographer, crouching down to take close up shots of bugs, taking photos of her parents eating and one particularly funny shot of one of her cousins getting smashed in the face with a rugby ball.

2014 - A photo of Aria with her parents boarding a plane. Her parents look nervous, and Aria has puffy red eyes.

Seven years later, when Aria is eighteen - she and her entire family move across the world to New York, partially due to her step-father needing to move to a different position within his company. Aria's excited, but upset over having to leave most of her friends behind. In New York, it's a completely fresh start, but she has college to look forward to.

2015 - A photo of a nervous teenage Aria with a shaky smile, in her dorm room at NYU.

College is more of a fresh start than any of them had planned for. She moves out of her family's new apartment and into the dorm and for the next four years, Aria learns who she is. A failed relationship with a guy, a few girlfriends, a few drunken nights out, and more than a handful of tattoos and protests - Aria Boughton embraces the spitfire that she once was.

2019 - A graduation photo.

Photojournalism was the initial goal. The photos become much more clinical, less snappy, less creative. They get the job done for the money she needs to survive in New York, but she loses steam fairly quickly before the year is up. She stops trying to be something she not and tries to find her muse once more on the streets of New York. She begins a whirlwind relationship that restores her faith in her art, but as quickly as it flamed, it fizzles out. New York begins to feel stifling.

2021 - A photo of a gloomy beach in the Pacific Northwest.

Three years later, she's upended her life - Port Leiry, Oregon was where she landed. Both her mother and father stayed back in New York, settling into their life there wonderfully. The cold seeps into her bones, and everyday she misses home more and more. She starts up a small freelance business doing photography for weddings, parties, and boudoir - at a fraction of the price it's worth. It feels like she's settling, but she's slowly able to find her love of the craft once more. She explores, she finds hidden gems, and she captures the true spirit of Port Leiry.

2024 - A photo of the Olympic Serval at night.

One night after doing some exploration and photographing the Olympic Serval during sundown and after - someone she doesn't recognize approaches on the beach, looking like they're just going for a night time run. They talk, and Aria finds herself trusting the woman immediately.

That was her first mistake.

She doesn't remember the rest of the night, but she remembers coming to in an alley of Port Leiry a few hours later, covered in blood and a distinct lack of heartbeat. Her sire doesn't approach for a few months, leaving her to try and navigate her new undead life on her own.

Wanted Plots

PLATONIC SOULMATE (0/1); a friend from college that she’s lost touch with but now are reuniting. they bonded through being in SHADES, a queer student-led club for students of color and their allies. this connection must be a queer moc! @kevma

SIRE (1/1); a woman who is as horrible as she is manipulative. she has aria wrapped around her finger and makes sure that aria will be loyal to no one but her, clan ties be damned. @laurestcphens

ANY AND ALL CLIENTS; these are people she's done photography for. can range from your usuals (wedding, graduation, etc.) to her boudoir or just being a model/muse to her brand new, but darker type of photography.

MORE TO COME.

[matt-saabye]

Movie Review Assignment

For my review, I chose to see Russian Ark. The one-shot take and the costumes were quite entertaining. 

2019's 1917 was one of the best one-shots I've ever seen. Inspired in part by tales his paternal grandfather Alfred told the director about his World War I service, the movie is set during Operation Alberich, right after the Germans have retreated to the Hindenburg Line, and it centers on the mission of two British soldiers, Will Schofield, and Tom Blake, to deliver a crucial message that will avert a disastrous offensive attack. Amazing film, you should definitely watch it if you haven't. 

The Russian Ark has amazing visuals as well. It took place in St. Petersburg's Hermitage Museum, and even more astounding is the fact that it was captured in a single take. Following a dark screen and the lines "I open my eyes and I see nothing," the camera's eye opens up to reveal the Hermitage. Following the Marquis, a French aristocrat, we shall follow him as he explores the artwork and the museum's history. The voice we heard is that of the never-before-seen Sokurov, and it serves as a counterpoint to the Marquis' continuous comments. The opening-up shows a formal state ball as the camera enters a huge hall. A symphony orchestra plays as hundreds of dancers in ornate costumes and jewelry perform. Afterward, the camera appears to glide through the air to the orchestra's stage and moves among the members. The camera team had to carefully maneuver an unseen ramp beneath the camera frame in order to ascent. Seeing the movie is an amazing experience, in part because you get to grasp the approach and realize how much each scene counts. Five minutes before the finale, how awful it would be if an actor had misplaced a cue or stammered! The duration and continuity of the action are more important than the action itself. I really felt as though I was in the museum, experiencing everything firsthand, thanks to this one continuous shot technique. Like I was at a party and walking around with a group of people. The cameras move fluidly throughout the whole movie thanks to excellent cinematography, even making it a one-shot. The movie's composition and framing techniques are expertly used to arrange people and things in the frame to highlight particular aspects and focus points. I found that the movie had a lot of symmetry and balance, which also served to highlight the museum's exquisite architecture. As the camera moved from room to room and across the stairs, the composition and framing overall contributed to the film's seamlessness and sense of immersion. Since there was no artificial lighting in the movie, just natural light was used, which I thought beautifully emphasized the museum, art, and artifacts. It was extremely intriguing how the sun would stream in, casting these gold hues against the gloomy interiors of the museum. I was always pleased with the colors throughout the movie, and I really enjoyed how gold was used throughout the museum. The costumes were adorned with jewels of every hue to serve as a constant reminder of the enormous wealth. I was initially perplexed by the voice-over, especially with it being all in Russian. Due to the use of classical music, the music also serves as a representation of the era in which it is set. The picture is visually compelling overall because of its effective use of lighting, symbolism, color, composition, music, and depth.