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ain-t-bovvered · 5 years ago

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15X12 Commentary

Bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

@smol-and-grumpy (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon (Kat)

@waywardbaby (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered (Giulia)

Nat: welp i guess we'll start?

Giulia: Ye

Zee: I know we’re not ready but yes

Nat: count as usual?

Giulia: U r the only one ready snort

Zee: Shush I’m faking it

Nat: 3

Nat: 2

Nat: 1

Nat: go

Zee: The recap

Giulia: Already hate it

Giulia: ...kaia

Giulia: Ok but i loved dean shout there

Giulia: But i also don t give a fuck about kaia

Nat: i could make a list of people i don't give a fuck about

Giulia: Why the empty has a dick

Nat: earth 2

Giulia: Look how much-waisted air time

Nat: this better go somewhere

Zee: What is he on?

Giulia: Oh look das me every time a clerk looks too clingy

Zee: President Hillary Clinton

Giulia: Nice

Giulia: Radio shed ads look like mediaworld *winks in italian*

Zee: Can he shut up?

Giulia: Nerd

Giulia: Oh and another nerd

Nat: weird that on every earth people are still dumb as fuck

Giulia: The World

Zee: Oh no

Giulia: Yeah that looks my kinda world

Giulia: Aaah beard dean

Zee: Other toys

Nat: He can't even make a world that's gonna function

Giulia: I can get what I want from a hundred worlds

Giulia: What she said

God/ ME A DESTIEL SHIPPER ABOUT DESTIEL ENDGAME: Dean says I'm not gonna get the ending I want. And I don't know. Maybe... I...I mean, that shouldn't matter, right? I've gotten what I want from hundred of Sams and Deans. I could get what I want from a hundred more. And I don't care.

Nat: you can see the green screen. I mean him standing before one

Giulia: Amazing

Zee: Clear the board

Giulia: Can he clean this one too. I think he’s already doing it

Nat: our world

Nat: how do you know. still, he doesn't take out the dumb

Zee: Vegan

Giulia: ...vegan lasagna *cringes in Italian*

Giulia: Because he feels for them. Between similars u no

Giulia: Aah veins

Zee: I still don’t like it

Giulia: Ah so we are actually where we left off. I can tell u where my head is

Zee: I can tell you where I want his head to be

Giulia: Ooooh nice

Giulia: Look at Jack hair tho

Giulia: BABE

Nat: "I HAVE SPEND TIME WITH HER" *wink wink nudge nudge*

Giulia: 50k

Giulia: Scythe kink

Nat: ouch

Zee: FOCUS

Giulia: Bottom Dean

Nat: on what? dildo scythe?

Giulia: Please comment and reblog

Giulia: Hey

Giulia: No OnE

Zee: Is jack chubbier?

Giulia: Don t talk to my son like this

Zee: Sam should stop doing that thing with his face

Nat: He's just older

Giulia: I can count his gray hair

Giulia: ...

Giulia: AAAAAAAAH beautiful

Zee: How domestic

Giulia: Babe

Zee: Look at that little smile

Giulia: SO CUTE

Giulia: thank you for a small bubble of happiness. That shook my soul a bit

Zee: They seem a little happy. I’m scared. Oh there it is

Giulia: That’s a fancy-ass whiskey bottle. I want it

Zee: Kaia came looking for the spear

Giulia: Cute where is cas

Zee: Babysitting

Giulia: Of course she kicks their asses

Giulia: I wanna choke him too

Nat: they can't even fight one small girl. they're getting old

Zee: Can he get any deeper?

Giulia: What she said

Zee: THE VOIVE I MEAN

Giulia: Oh come on HOW CONVENIENT

Giulia: they pulled a Mary Winchester

Zee: Snort

Nat: i don't know what to think about all this

Giulia: Oh looks it’s us after the coronavirus. Eating lizards

Nat: I mean

Giulia: I just watch

Nat: I would eat it 🤷🏻‍♀

Zee: Dean said not tasted kinda decent

Nat: do I have to

Zee: YES

Giulia: SNORT

Zee: SEE? Babysitting

Giulia: ...listen….How in the hell...War Strategist angel of the lord cas loses at force 4. Fuck off

Giulia: Always makeup on point

Giulia: Not Kaia not helping

Nat: oh I see jody had time for lash extensions

Giulia: She must not be in quarantine

Giulia: ...La piegatrice mondiale. What a horrible translation

Giulia: Oh dean has nice hair. I wanna pull it

Zee: This is going so well

Giulia: Look at cas hair

Nat: He always goes like "Cas-tee-el"

Giulia: Tee-el

Zee: Are you only looking at hair?

Giulia: Cas sounds so done

Zee: But so good

Giulia: WHAT A SOFT LOOK I HATE IT DON T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT

Giulia: A bit of a smokey eye on Kaia, What she used? Burned sticks? charcoal? Burned lizard’s tails?

Zee: Is it me or Jody looks older and Cas looks younger?

Nat: sorry but not Kaia can go fuck herself

Giulia: WHATEVER

Nat: so much airtime

Giulia: WASTED

Giulia: ...Shouldn’t he be strong af

Nat: I hate that the female's make up is always on point.

Zee: He’s gonna do something stupid

Giulia: Definition of a Winchester

Giulia: What a dad tone

Nat: I like Merl. Merl is me

Giulia: HEEEEY

Giulia: AHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Giulia: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Nat: Winchester dumb

Zee: Winchester dumb

Giulia: what a mood

Nat: she's my fave character

Giulia: I love her

Nat: i want her in all the ep

Giulia: I stan her

Nat: give her more air time

Giulia: She’s the smartest in the room

Giulia: What a sassy reaper. Like my fav sassy demon

Giulia: I love how the Winchesters are there watching, being all: yup, that’s our dumb kid

Nat: Winchester stupid

Zee: They know she’s right

Giulia: DONT BORROW MY ANGEL LIKE A BATTERY

Zee: Dead angel walking

Nat: I seriously thought Cas holds out the cup he ejaculated in like in a sperm bank

Giulia: Can I unread this

Nat: No u can't, that's what happens when I’m in lockdown

Giulia: Look at that cutie with his cute backpack

Nat: boy scout dean

Zee: Sam’s smirk

Giulia: Babysitting again

Giulia: BS angel chivalry

Giulia: SHE’S SO DONE

Giulia: love it

Nat: she should have said "in your own time"

Giulia: Me and you have all eternity, they don’t

Giulia: ...wasting seconds of intense glares

Giulia: Oh look the gremlins again

Giulia: The last healthy Italians vs the infected ones

Giulia: Last Toilet paper’s rolls and dumb scared people

Nat: snorts

Zee: You’re on a roll

Giulia: Dean eyelashes are fluttering in the wind. Sam needs a hair elastic

Nat: I wish something else would flutter in the wind

Giulia: my fucks

Zee: Hey kid

Giulia: WHY ARE THEY HUGGING

Zee: It’s before corona

Nat: I thought they didn't like each other that much

Giulia: Exactly. They have like 0 relationship, I don’t understand

Nat: It's weird.

Nat: if she should hug someone it should be sam. but what do I know

Zee: Have y’all understood the point of all this? Cause I haven’t

Giulia: Literally none

Nat: I’m bothered by all the other things

Giulia: She had time to do her eyelashes

Nat: so we did literally waste an ep with getting Kaia back, like for real? I watched this?

Giulia: ...AH

Nat: you know the last season could have been so fucking good

Zee: Wtf?

Giulia: K

Nat: ah

Zee: She found out

Giulia: What a meme

Giulia: Billy: last season

The reaper: my joy

Giulia: Death is angry

Zee: I was busy In Italy

Giulia: Oh wow

Nat: Merl had one job

Giulia: The writers had one job

Nat: Billy is us because she has no patience in them wasting an ep freeing Kaia

Giulia: Then u killed me

Giulia: Smoulder time

Giulia: Aaaah a baby

Zee: What?

Nat: Meh

Giulia: Why

Nat: God's destruction is Jack

Giulia: Another meme

Giulia: Writers

Giulia: Us asking if season15 will be amazing

Nat: right

Giulia: Go watch the promo

Nat: is that a fiat

Giulia: That’s a 500, my old car snort

Nat: Are they gay antiques, dealers

Zee: Apart from the reaper everything else was pretty lame. We waited almost two months for that?

Giulia: We went through corona for that

Nat: they look like gay antique dealers. especially being outraged when Sam has to lose the man bun

Giulia: With their cardigans and shit

Giulia: We should all live together. Yikes. They gonna die

Nat: they would scream

Giulia: High pitched

Zee: Tf did I just watch ? Loved deans bracelets tho

Giulia: They’re Jensen’s . Probably

Giulia: Oh maybe they are sam and dean that grew up as men of letters

Zee: Gay men of letters

Giulia: Can they get hot and bothered by Castiel?

Zee: Maybe not both of them

Giulia: Nah Nah both

Zee: Will the angel be gay too?

Giulia: There will be no angel probably. Also, Angels are probably sexless so who cares.

Kat: Y’all finished?

Giulia: Yup

Zee: Yes

Kat: And?

Giulia: WHERE IS THE FLAVOUR

Zee: LLLAAAAMMMEEE

Nat: I wasted my time

Kat: Yeah. Who gives a flying fuck about Kaia. Literally no one

Giulia: guess they are tying the loose ends

Kat: No one has thought about her in 2 years, she was a dead end

Giulia: Idk what the point was

Kat: Idk to have Jack use his powers for some reason? Surely they could have found something better

Giulia: Idk man. Between this fucking virus and jib and life and this writing, I’m very much blegh. I mean I love my boys. But

Zee: Let’s just hope they give them a decent ending and not something so lame that it will ruin everything

Nat: You love them and you want the best for them. not half-assed writing

Giulia: Yeah

Nat: lol what show have you been watching the last season

Kat: Yeah. It’ll be ruined. I have no hope of anything else

Nat: I don't have much hope but also that will maybe make me feel better when it's not as bad as I think it will be

Zee: I know but I can’t let it drag me down

Giulia: Yup

If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie @mariekoukie6661 @dragontamerm @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc @dammitsammy @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride @destielhoneybee @castiellover20 @ravenhg @evvvissticante @emoryhemsworth @markofdean79 @janndishsstuff

#supernatural 15x12 #15x12 galaxy brain #spn 15x12 #Episode commentary #SUPERNATURAL COMMENTARY #spn commentary #15x12 commentary #spn gifs #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #castiel

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theawkwardterrier · 5 years ago

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A Light in the Window

Steggy Week 2k19, day 3 Prompt: Firsts and lasts

Summary: Steve and Peggy attempt their first real date.

AO3 link here.

Four days after Steve wakes up in a hospital bed with Howard, pale and self-satisfied, blathering down at him about trackers in his suit and the wonders of the serum, he and Peggy go to the Stork Club. They turn slowly on the floor together even when the music dictates a faster pace, the stiffness and chill only just working its way out of Steve’s bones, the feeling of her against him too perfect to want to pull away. He even doesn’t release her hand until they reach the door of her building.

When he and Peggy arrange to meet on a Saturday evening for their first real date, he doesn’t have much planned. None of the things he can think of really inspire him: the city is bursting with returning service-members on their way to the movie houses, to dance halls and the shows on Broadway, and it doesn’t feel right to take Peggy somewhere so cliche. They haven’t had an opportunity to really talk with each other, not since those forever-past nights on watch or slogging from a dropoff point on the way to another Hydra base, so Steve decides on a simple walk through Brooklyn. They can continue getting to know each other, without being interrupted by bullets or Colonel Phillips’ voice over the radio (hopefully). He will have the comfort of all the familiar places of his neighborhood, and get a chance to introduce her to what is now her neighborhood too.

Except the stories of his childhood refuse to come off his tongue when all he can remember is standing alone on the Barnes stoop, knocking heavy-hearted on Bucky’s mother’s door. Instead, he can only manage to thank her again for the flowers she had brought to his hospital room.

“They really brightened up the place. I’ll have to send the Army a note about it so they can update the decor.”

“I’m sure they’ll appreciate the advice. They aren’t particularly well-known for comfort or aesthetic, after all.” She gives a little smile. Her lipstick, he notices, is pink tonight, to match with the flowers on her dress. “I’m glad you enjoyed the flowers. I wasn’t sure what kind you would like.”

“Chrysanthemums were great,” he says earnestly, as if he hadn’t spent too long staring at them, wondering if they were supposed to send a particular message. Everyone knows that it’s roses that are for romance. Maybe chrysanthemums mean ‘I know it seemed that there was something between us, but I’ve reconsidered and we’re probably better off as friends.’ She did say yes when he’d asked her out, but...

He knows he isn’t exactly convincing her at the moment. I guess this whole time it wasn’t my looks or my size that chased girls off, he thinks in mortification. They could just tell I was lousy date.

They keep walking, each bringing up new topics - the apartment Steve’s rented, the position Peggy is meant to start at the SSR’s New York office now that she is finished in Europe and living here permanently - that fizzle after not nearly long enough. The silences between each attempt at a conversation starter feel endless, each a chasm of infinite and humiliating depth.

He is about ready to find a movie house to point to in desperation and say, “Oh good, we’re here!” as if they’d needed to walk for three quarters of an hour to find just this one. And then it begins to rain.

“We can try to outrun it,” Peggy suggests as the first light drops fall into her hands and hair. “I know that we—” But she is cut off by the snap and boom of thunder, and then by the opening of the heavens.

Steve snatches a discarded newspaper off a nearby bench and tries to hold it over her head as they pick up their pace. It’s sodden within seconds and he tosses it away again.

“Come on!” He takes her hand. It’s after dusk, and with the rain pouring so thick that it’s like fog, there’s nearly no visibility. It would be easy for them to lose each other by accident.

They struggle down the street, and Steve is certain that she doesn’t have a particular destination in mind either, other than ‘dry.’

When he sees a lighted window, he can’t tell what sort of business it belongs too and he doesn’t care. He holds the door open for Peggy and follows her inside.

“Giulia!” calls a woman’s voice before Steve can even blink the water out of his eyes and take in his surroundings. “Two of the minestrone, and use the biggest bowls we have.”

“You can come into the kitchen yourself, you know. There won’t be much longer for it,” says another woman crankily.

“She’s too busy losing to me,” crows a third.

It’s a restaurant, but barely: only four tables, each covered in a crisp white cloth, and each empty except for the one where two women face each other over a chessboard. Steve thinks he could reach so his fingertips touch each wall. There’s a banner that stretches easily across the length of the place that reads “Closing! Last night!”

It also smells incredible, herbs and yeast and food treated with care.

“You know, Lia’s right,” says the first woman, standing and disappearing into what Steve presumes is the world’s smallest kitchen. He looks at Peggy and finds her somewhere between confused and amused. (Also soaking wet in a way that manages to look fetching, but mostly makes him want to find her a blanket or some dry clothes. He’d offer his jacket, but considering the way it’s dripping onto the floor, he doesn’t think it would be of much help.)

The last woman looks down at the board, chuckles to herself, then pushes her chair back and walks over to Steve and Peggy. “Have a seat,” she tells them, and rather than pointing to one of the empty tables, she indicates the one which has just been vacated.

“Um,” Steve gets out eloquently.

“Where are we, precisely?” Peggy asks.

The woman laughs roundly. “It’s Romano’s,” she says, and the two women join her in harmony from the back. The woman continues, “Lia’s husband finally saved up enough to buy it right before he died, and now she’s been trying to honor him for as long as she can. Tina and I just stay around to keep her company.”

“Don’t pretend as if I don’t feed you, Lessia.” The kitchen door opens again and the other two women come back out. Tina is carrying two enormous portions of steaming soup, while Giulia, wearing a clean if slightly floury apron, holds a wooden cutting board with what looks like fresh bread.

Lined up beside each other, they are clearly sisters, each with the same frame (short and full, but straight-backed) and the same hair (a curling black clearly on its way to gray, pulled back over their ears and in matching buns) and the same frown at the couple still standing awkwardly by the door.

“Sit,” Lessia says again, crossing her arms, the only free pair.

It’s not particularly an offer anymore, but Steve says, “That’s kind of you, but we were just going to wait out the rain.”

“You’d be waiting until your hair was as gray as ours,” Tina says firmly. “This weather will hold for a good while. Listen.” She’s right. The rain continues to pound without sign of lightening or moving past the city.

“The two of you are soaking wet.” Giulia adds a bit of coaxing to her voice, but it still has that unmoving steel beneath it. “And you wouldn’t let my husband’s dream restaurant close without a single customer on the last night, hmm? We lack customers simply because we lack atmosphere, nothing to do with the food.”

“Truly, Lia will be very sad if she cannot feed someone before she sells off the place,” Tina says, making a comically morose face as she sets one bowl on either side of the chessboard and pulls out the closer chair suggestively.

Steve doesn’t really know exactly what the right move is here, but then he notices the gooseflesh between the bottom of Peggy’s still-dripping hair and the slightly dipping back of her dress. “Soup sounds great,” he says, and gestures for Peggy to take the seat Tina has pulled out for her.

The soup is great. He and Peggy glance up at each other as they spoon up the hearty vegetables and full broth, and for some reason those little moments without speech don’t feel awkward anymore.

“Can I cut you some?” Steve asks, gesturing to the loaf Giulia had rested beside him before the three sisters vanished together back into the kitchen together.

“You can.” As Steve slices, Peggy takes a chess pawn in each hand and extends her curled fists to him. Putting down the knife, he taps her left hand and she hands him the black piece.

“At a disadvantage already,” she says, peering at him nonchalantly through her eyelashes as she arranges her side of the board to erase the game Lessia and Tina had been playing.

“Don’t know that I need an advantage,” he says, lifting an eyebrow at her. “Four things I did while sick in bed: draw, read, play cards, and learn chess. And I was in bed a lot.”

“I suppose we’ll see if it’s paid off,” and despite the challenge of her tone, her voice is warm.

She wins the first game handily (unfortunate - she might have an accent and act polite about it, but Peggy Carter trash talks), and he battles her hard for her second victory. The third game looks as if it might be his, as long as he doesn’t get distracted by the stories she tells about her childhood, as long as he doesn’t lose focus as he tries to make her laugh. He’s still chuckling over her description of learning to ride a bicycle having stolen her brother’s, examining his knight to make sure she’s not luring him into a trap, when the sisters come out of the kitchen looking apologetic but firm.

“The rain has stopped,” Lessia says. Steve notices for the first time that she's right. He wonders when that happened.

Giulia adds, “The new owner of the restaurant will be here early tomorrow morning and I would like to have a good sleep before.” She holds up a small cardboard box tied with twine. “Something sweet to take on your way.”

“You've already done too much,” Steve protests, already standing in embarrassment and taking out his wallet. For all the talk about getting an early night, it must be close to eleven. They’ve been here for hours.

"Put it away," Giulia tells him, waving a hand. She has an enormous purse over one shoulder, obviously ready to step right out and go home. "My husband wanted to start this place to feed people, not to make money."

"Obviously," Tina says mischievously. "Lucky thing you know how to cook, because Marco was absolutely hopeless."

"You really are marvelous," Peggy says.

Giulia gives a graceful shrug, closing her eyes as a look of humble satisfaction crosses her face. "And now I will hand over the keys to the next dreamer."

"And perhaps go cook for the handsome man next door instead," says Lessia. "And be certain to tell him of the lovers who came in on our last night here. Perhaps it will give him the right idea."

Giulia scoffs just as Steve says, wrestling down a blush, "We're not—"

"Don't try to pretend with an old woman," says Lessia, eagle-eyed. "Perhaps it's just the beginning, but everything that lasts has one of those."

"Now go," Tina adds, flicking her wrist in a little sweeping gesture. "The beginning continues, but elsewhere."

The air is a little cooler as they step out again, and without thinking Steve puts an arm around Peggy's shoulder.

"The serum has some added benefits," he blurts when she looks up at him, but she just smiles.

He has seen her smile in so many ways - large ones which she leans into after a victory or a point well-made, tiny, hidden smiles like punctuation - and he doesn't think he'll ever tire of discovering all the different kinds she has within herself. He's so lucky to have the chance.

"I'm happy to enjoy all of those benefits." The box of dessert they'd been gifted with hangs by the string from his finger, and she slides her finger in beside it. "Shall we enjoy these as well?"

They each bite into the little chocolate cakes, and Steve doesn't even feel embarrassed when she reaches up and brushes away crumbs that have been left behind.

In fact, he has the sense that he might actually get to taste what chocolate tastes like on her mouth tonight.

He had worried, somehow, that they were people brought together by war, that perhaps they would not know how to be together in peace. For some time tonight, it seemed that his fears were realized. But Peggy is still quick and kind and unswerving and unequivocally herself, and somehow she still likes him.

He’s never been so happy to be wrong.

#steggyweek2k19 #Steggy fic #Steggy #Steve Rogers #Peggy Carter #sometimes when I finish a fic I'm secretly saying to myself (''This is actually pretty good...'')#not this time!

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skypied · 3 years ago

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MORE before I can change my mind. this time featuring new better dad

In his first few days in the Marcovaldo household after Luca’s and Giulia's departure, Alberto reverts back into a skittish creature. Having two other children in the house gave him places to hide, especially behind Giulia’s boisterous joy and easy entitlement to the house and her papa. He has neither joy or entitlement and certainly not to this strange, human abode and the big, imposing dad human. (But he wants to. He desperately wants to. He bites his lips until they bleed, but it doesn’t ease the starvation.)

He tiptoes around the house, startling Massimo every time he enters a room. He graciously sighs and ruffles his hair to reassure him, but he doesn’t take it, only the little moment of fear before it. He refuses to believe anything but that look in his eyes, the same he used to look at sea monsters before him.

He notices the worried glances Massimo gives him, and they fill him with heated shame. He was hoping Massimo liked him, encouraged by his small smiles and how pleased he was with his fishing efforts. But maybe that’s just the way fathers are. Damn Giulia for giving him false hope. After all the adventures and joy and hope his friends had given him, he was back to being a tool to be used.

But he's determined to not fuck up his second chance at a dad.

So he makes sure to learn what Massimo likes, too. Turns out fathers are different in some ways after all.

He stays quiet and stoic and respectful, emulating the burly man’s nature. He stops running his mouth like a train, thinking Massimo will prefer the silence, just like his father did. But when he stays quiet, the man looks at him with concerned eyes. He doesn’t understand that.

He keeps his head down and does his work - after all, that’s what Massimo asked him to. Stay here, help me fish, and you’ll have food and shelter for as long as you want. He likes it when they get loads of fish and when he does well.

But he also likes this: Alberto devouring his dinner. Alberto curled up with a book stolen from Giulia. Alberto ashamedly asking for help to write letters. Alberto’s grin whenever Luca calls. Alberto’s loss of self-control when he jumps up and down for joy. Alberto dancing to the radio as he helps with the dishes.

Alberto likes none of that. He’s slipping up. He can’t keep slipping up. Massimo will see him for what he is, a dumb, overemotional kid who ruins everything.

He doesn’t understand what Massimo doesn’t like. It’s been weeks, and he doesn’t understand what Massimo doesn’t like. What is it he’s not telling him? Why does he always smile at him? He needs to know what he doesn’t like. He can’t fuck up his second chance at a dad.

Maybe sometimes he shrinks back when Massimo lifts his arm. Maybe sometimes he wishes he would strike him, so he could understand what this relation is. Maybe sometimes he wishes the familiarity of the violence back. Maybe chaos is preferable to confusion.

Massimo clears out the storage room, and he gets a room. It’s just big enough for a bed and a dresser, but he gets a room. Something tugs at his heart and he’s not sure what the emotion is called, it feels too big and too small and too significant too soon.

Rooms are unfamiliar concepts to him. He’s not used to having somewhere that’s only his. He’s not used to not having the endless expanse of sky over his head, or miles to bound and explore. After saying goodnight to Massimo and closing the door, he waits for about an hour, counted out by the too loud ticking of his new alarm clock, before slinking through Giulia’s room and into the treehouse.

Maybe he shivers and curls into a ball to protect his thin human skin as summer bleeds into fall, but it’s preferable to the pressing walls and ticking clock and the soft sounds of Massimo snoring.

Maybe sometimes he sits outside his bedroom door listening and longing in the same way he used to for his father. It makes him feel more and less alone at the same time.

After dinner one day, where he glumly pushes around the potatoes on his plate, secretly salivating at the thought of raw fish, Massimo foregoes his usual attempts at small talk.

“How are you holding up, Alberto? I know this is a big change for you.”

He stutters and wants to hit himself in frustration with how long it takes to get out a simple fine.

“Do you miss Luca and Giulia?”

Maybe if he doesn’t respond, keeps his eyes on the table, he won’t be berated for feeling too much, like he always is.

“I understand that. I miss them too.”

He shyly glances up at Massimo for a moment, finding only gentle patience. He averts his eyes and nods quickly, before he can change his mind.

“You seem… quieter than usual. I hope you know that you can tell me if anything is bothering you. Anything at all.”

He shakes his head. He nods. He frowns and shakes his head again. Why can’t his stupid brain just obey him, stay in control, why does he betray himself.

Massimo gently leans over to put his large hand on his.

It’s too much.

The budding hope crashes headfirst into the helpless sadness inside him and cracks his ribs open. His brain feels fuzzy and confused as warm, disgusting tears force their way out of him. He can’t do this. He can’t fuck up his second chance at a dad.

Massimo stands.

Oh, that’s it then. He wipes furiously at his nose, hoping to find some composure before he's thrown headfirst out.

But then he is enveloped in strong arms and somehow that’s worse. Strong arms that hold him close and lets him wet his shirt with his disgusting tears. He lets him sob out every disgusting emotion inside him. He lets him be disgusting and needy and starving and still gives him coffee and a slice of buccellato and gently says he can tell him when he’s ready.

Massimo leaves his bedroom door open just a crack that night. Alberto slinks in and gives him a good night hug and it feels okay. He sleeps in his bed for the first time and it feels okay. His heart is aching, but it feels okay.

He hasn’t fucked up his second chance at a dad.

For some reason, this dad seems determined to keep him, even when he’s bad.

you know what, all this asshole dad talk and sad alberto posts on my dash has made me absolutely feral, so here, have a quick page of Alberto and his father i jotted down that probably won't amount to anything more:

He knows he isn’t a good kid. That doesn’t take very long to learn. The lesson sits with him, making his growing bones even more gangly, afraid to take up space even inside his own body. But he tries to be a good kid. He tries very hard to be a good kid. Maybe he fails sometimes, and his father gets angry when he breaks something, or disturbs him, but he tries his best to make up for it by being useful.

He tries to learn what his father likes. Providing food is always a safe bet. He likes it when he catches fish and patiently debones them, although he himself prefers devouring them whole, the crack of their spine sending tingles down his own. (His father doesn’t like that, so he only indulges when he’s alone, squatting at the rocky shore and humming contently as he works his way through the sinewy meat.) He likes it when he picks what little fruit and berries there are to be found on the island, so he learns how to reap them in their prime, and what growths will make his father yell to not put them into his mouth.

Once, he spends all day perched completely still in a tree, his predatory eyes shivering in anticipation until he finally kicks off the branch with a fierce yell and sinks his teeth into a seagull, forgetting the lacking ferality of his human form. He hits the ground with a grunt, but keeps his fierce grip. The bird squawks and struggles, but he skilfully swiftly cracks its neck and glows with pride.

His father doesn’t like that, throwing the bird out the window and yelling at him for not getting proper food.

(He doesn’t dare check his father’s reaction to his rumbling stomach that makes him sneak out at night and silently tear the bird apart and shove it in his mouth. Turns out raw bird isn’t as digestible for monster stomachs as raw fish, and he vomits until he cries and coughs up feathers for days afterwards.)

His father doesn’t like him when he’s too happy. He doesn’t like his fits of unselfconscious joy, when he pumps his fists and jumps and laughs and dances. He really doesn’t like it when he dances.

His father doesn’t even engage with him when he’s sad, offering nothing more than a resigned huff as he walks out the door.

In a twisted way, he likes being angry. That’s when they’re most alike. So whenever being a good kid doesn’t work, he switches strategies. Provoking a frown and a yell is better than no eye contact at all.

He quickly learns that punching and biting is no good at all. They’re alike in that, too.

He’s a loyal kid. When his father leaves, he waves him off and plops down in the sand and sits there, drawing figures in the sand and making pictures with rocks as he waits patiently for him to come home. He rarely moves from that spot, usually digging a little hole in the sand to curl up and fall asleep in.

He beams and eagerly showers him with affection upon his return, even if his father is tired and brushes him aside, he forces joy into his face. He curls up on the floor beside his bed to hear his breathing and feel slightly warmer and safer than when he’s alone. Even when that safety is tinged with an inexplicable heaviness that makes his eyes well up with sadness his head isn’t big enough to wrap around, it’s preferable to loneliness.

He tries so hard, but is unable to see any of his efforts returned, only seeing cold disappointment in his eyes and feeling nothing but hard edges in his body. He tries so hard to translate this into the love he expects, demands, needs, but it’s been twelve years and it’s rarer and rarer he finds a tiny scrap to stitch to his heart that can convince him he’s loved.

He doesn’t understand why he gets none of that back.

He doesn’t understand what makes him so hard to even pretend to love.

What he does understand is that the aching hunger in his heart might never go away.

#skypieposts #skypiefics #i really like writing his kid's perspective... might fuck around and do more but now its 2am haha #liked the first better but oh well now it's here #i just have a doc titled 'untitled alberto angst dump' now haha #hold my breath for me tag

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smoothshift · 7 years ago

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My journey to leasing an Alfa Romeo Giulia (also known as I test drove way too many cars) via /r/cars

My journey to leasing an Alfa Romeo Giulia (also known as I test drove way too many cars)

Ok, first things first, it isn't brand new anymore; I just now got photos back from my amateur photographer friend so I thought now would be a good time to post photos/my thoughts on the segment/brag.

Second, pictures. It is a 2017 Giulia with the sports package (and nothing else). 39 month lease with 12000 miles/year. And it took me a while, but I've name my car Im (pronounced "M"). Why Im? A friend called it my Italian Mistress and I got a kick out of that. My girlfriend still calls it Alfy because she likes to give me pain.

Up until May 1st of this year, I was driving the same truck I had been since I was in high school: 2005 Ford F150 Texas edition. It was a great truck that gave me everything I needed for almost 150,000 miles with very few issues (the belts used to control the windows broke probably 6 times between the 4 doors and the windshield fluid sprayer broke once, but I don't recall anything else other than routine maintenance). But I was finally making money and decided I wanted something that was a different type of fun. Now, I am not a dyed in the wool car guy like many on this sub; my parents always had nice vehicles, but my dad runs a small commercial contracting business so, outside of his 197-something Gremlin that he was so fond of, I think all he's ever owned are various trucks. Because of this, my knowledge of cars largely originates from haphazardly marathoning multiple seasons of Top Gear/The Grand Tour earlier this year and picking the brain of a friend of mine that is definitely a dyed in the whole car guy (who also happens to be the amateur photographer).

As someone completely knew to the segment (and cars in general), I did some fairly intense research and test driving. I ended up test driving a Giulia (obviously), a 3 series, an A4, a C class, an XE, an ATX, and an IS. Just as general background, I was looking for a daily driver (my office is less than a mile from where I work, but my family lives several hundred miles away and my gf currently lives over a hundred miles away as well) and I would probably say my priorities when I was looking for a car were looks/how much they stand out, how fun it was to drive, how comfortable it was to drive, and how good the infotainment was (really narrowing it down for you, I know). I ended up test driving everything except the ATS, A4, and the 3 series at least twice, partially to help me decide and partially because I wanted to see what various people thought about each car. I'll put my thoughts about each car in order from the one I liked the least to the one I liked the best. Some of my thoughts on each car are gone at this point, as I've been relentlessly lazy with regards to finally making this post, but I'll do my best to recreate my thoughts as I had looking at each car. I'll have a TL;DR for the reviews at the end as well.

ATS

Ok, my least favorite car was the ATS. All cars in this segment are great, but there isn't a doubt in my mind that this car was the one that appealed to me the least. In my opinion, this segment can be more or less described as a continuum of cars that are somewhere between a luxury car trying to be a sporty car and a sporty car trying to be a luxury car. The ATS felt the most like a luxury car trying to be (even if only at a perfunctory level) sporty to me. It had a deep, sonorous engine that felt more like towing power than raw speed. The inside looked great, perhaps the most luxurious interior in the class. The outside was definitely stately. But it felt and looked too much like a powerful boat for my tastes. Even though this was the third car I test drove, I think it may have been pivotal in pushing me over to the "sporty car trying to be a luxury car" end of the segment, because this car just did not speak to me when driving it. Perhaps, in 30 years, it will be exactly what I want. Just not now.

I also didn't much like a lot of the things going on inside. It was beautiful, but I felt like the center consul was too high, making my right arm uncomfortable. Additionally, I am not a fan of touch screen infotainment. I want to be able to focus on driving when I'm driving, not fumbling around, stretching to touch "next station".

Now, after saying I was pushed to the sporty end of the segment, I of course have to rate lowly one of the more sporty cars, the A4. Now, the general, albeit definitely not word-of-God, consensus among car reviews I had read was that the A4 was the top or very close to the top of the segment. Plus, compared to the couch-on-wheels ATS, it is much more on the sport side of the spectrum, yet I rate it very, very low. Why? Three reasons (one of which is often brought up by the professional reviewers.

First: professional reviewers are correct in saying that you almost feel removed from the driving experience when you are in the A4. I don't know how to say it much better than that: the steering wasn't as tight or responsive as I wanted it, I didn't feel overly excited when I tried to gun it, and, personally, I thought all the cool tech in the car was a draw back that removed you from the driving experience. It felt like you were in a driving sim.

Second, I didn't like the cool tech at all. I felt it was overwhelming (not in that I am tech-illiterate, but in that I want to drive, not play on a computer). I didn't like the Nav jumping over in front of the driver (I just want to see my speedometer, come on). I didn't like the placement of the infotainment controls because the stick is in the way. I don't want to try to change the radio station and suddenly switch in to reverse on the highway. But, like some people disagreeing that the ATS is too far on the luxury end of the segment, I am sure people will disagree as the amount of tech you want in a car at least partially comes down to preference. Add in to that the fact that I think sticking an iPad on the dashboard looks ugly, and this car quickly got knocked off my list.

Finally, and I'm sure A LOT of people will disagree with this, I found the exterior styling to be lack luster. It doesn't stand out in a crowd, and I didn't think it looked all that much better than any of the cars in the cheaper segments.

3-Series

I have to admit, the 3-series was the most disappointing to me. As someone only recently taking an interest in cars, the 3-series was the car I had heard the most about and thought the most of. I was expecting, in the words of Reinhart, precision German engineering. Rather, the 3-series kind of suffered from the same lack of real driving feel that the A4 did. It did everything right but it just felt... blah. It looked right, but at this point, everyone and their mother (in Houston) drives a BMW, so it didn't stand out. The infotainment had a good balance of features and not separating you from driving, but I don't really remember being impressed (although, I will repeat that sticking an iPad on the dash is dumb). And as lame as it is to sum up the 3-series as blah... that's how I felt. Maybe I should have tried the M badged one or a 330 instead, but BMW lost me before that point.

C Class

This is the car that doesn't fit in with my "last few cars" that somehow made it there. Once again, drifting closer to the "luxury car trying to be sporty" end of the spectrum, but I felt like the C Class was on the right side of it. If the ATS was driving a tug boat with a low, powering engine, I felt like the C Class was a midsized boat with a good balance of luxury and sport. In terms of the interior, it was right there with the ATS. My two main qualms with the interior being the iPad on the dash (I really wish everyone would stop doing that) and the lack of a stick for the drive modes (I'm not a fan of the little dial to choose drive). The AMG version had a really good looking midnight combination available (I don't remember what it was called, but you can imagine what it looked like). I also believe it had some sort of phone to nav compatibility, but I could be wrong (this was one of the things I hoped more cars in the class would have standard). I recall the steering being heavy but responsive, which I liked. It had a sports and a sports plus mode, which helped it inch closer to the sporty end of the spectrum. Additionally, the idea of driving a Benz appealed to me at some level. It ended up just not being enough to really make last few cars.

THE FINAL CONTENDERS

These are the last 3 cars, all of which I was very close to at one point to getting. If you're tired of reading my thoughts, it'll probably only get longer. Sorry in advance.

XE 35T

For a while, I was almost sold on the Jag, just waiting for the right one to come in. Why? Well, because Jag cheated. This was the only V6. As I originally test drove the 25T, I will give a short review of driving it (everything else is the same as the 35T). It was uninspiring. It didn't feel as powerful as the luxury boats of the class and didn't have the pick-up and go that the last two cars had.

Ok, that's out of the way. What I liked about the 35T: V6 power. It felt fast. It was fast. It was probably the best sounding of all the cars. It was just as exhilarating to drive as the Alfa (but in a different way). I thought the steering felt right; it wasn't too heavy and it was tight.

It also, in my opinion, looked great. I liked the more aggressive design than most of the rest of the class. One color in particular, the deep blue, was absolutely gorgeous. It is more rare than any of the other cars on the list other than the Alfa, which I liked a bit as well.

Also, its infotainment isn't an iPad sticking out of the freaking dash. It also had an app that let's you work with your phone for navigation (but you had to pay for the fully nav), which I loved. It was, however, touch screen, which is a big negative for me. Doesn't feel safe, and,e ven if you use the steering wheel controls, it is just too much going on while driving.

But the negative for this car is a big one, and probably the reason I didn't go with the XE: Unless you want to drop an extra 5k for the upgraded interior, it looks cheap inside. As a car starting at around 40000, I don't want to have a scowl on my face every time I open the door. I also don't like the spin wheel for drive selecting (but it did pop up and down when the car turned off and on, which was a nice touch).

Finally, sun roofs were not optional. Some people may think this is cool, but it doesn't have a hard plastic cover. This means that, if you live in the South, you have to deal with heat and sunlight always, because a flimsy little piece of cloth isn't going to cut it when it's 100+ degrees and the sun wants to shit in your eyes. To be fair, several of the cars in this segment have the same problem, but this is the one that I remember it about.

IS 200T F-Sport

Lexus did a lot of things right with this car. For the price, there are a lot of good safety features that come with it (auto break when reversing, lane control, etc.). I was also a fan how it drove. It didn't have the disconnected feel that the Audi and the BMW had; the steering was pretty tight, there was a good amount of power and acceleration, and it was actually fun to drive. The exterior was good; not as good as the Alfa or the Jag, but it is still a great looking car. I liked the extra "edge" the F-Sport gave everything. I really liked the interior if you picked the maroon leather/accents (my girlfriend strongly disagreed, unfortunately). The infotainment, although being an iPad, was stuffed into the consul rather than stuck on top of it. This was the car my girlfriend wanted me to get (the lame, non-maroon interior one, anyways).

But there were a few things I wasn't a fan of. First, although the infotainment wasn't touch screen, it was a weird combo of drawing on a little pad and a mouse, which was not good in my opinion. Also, I was told they had google car play/equivalent, and when they told me they were wrong, it only brought up the line by line instructions (rather than a map), I basically decided to go with the Alfa.

Alfa Romeo Giulia

The main event. Finally getting to the most controversial car in the segment, especially in this sub. If I had to sum it up, it would be "the car is everything they say it is." What do I mean by that? The exterior is beautiful. I know a lot of people don't like the trade-mark grill or this or that, but I really think it is the best looking car in the class. You will get stares everywhere. People will ask you about your car when you stop to get gas. People will want to race you at lights (well, in Houston they do that anyways because the drivers are dicks, but I assume at least one person has done it because of the car). You will smile when you see your car. You won't see anyone else on the roads with your car. It's like being the hot girl in the class; everyone looks at you and everyone looks at you differently. And it's great.

I love the interior. I didn't opt for the wooden inserts, but those really were breathtaking. Even for the poors like me, the aluminium looks really great. There was also a red leather interior option available (again vetoed by the lady), which I liked. The paddle shifters are single, large pieces of aluminium as well, which look a lot better (and a lot less likely to break) than the little plastic ones some other cars in the class had. The infotainment isn't just an iPad! It's built in to the consul and looks natural rather than an afterthought. Also, at night there is a truly great soft (and adjustable) ambiance lighting.

Everything about the driving position is great. It is comfortable even on long distance drives (my experience is limited to about 300 miles in one go, but I think that's a pretty good indicator). The front seats are surprisingly roomy (the rear seats can get pretty tight, however).

As I've alluded to before, the driving is second to none in the class. As my girlfriend put it, she knew what I would choose because I had a goofy smile on my face the entire test drive. I felt like it accelerated better than anything else (barring the V6 Jag), and it also had the best handling. The balance of the steering wheel was perfect in my opinion.

Also, I think the infotainment is the best in class (I know a lot of people won't agree). It is intuitive. It doesn't require you to take your mind off the road. Each thing you can do is easy to feel. Even searching for contacts or songs is quick. The only real negatives I have about it is that 1) no google drive-type app available and 2) the quick-select song station thing is great, but could use a few more choices (6 would be enough for most, but I travel enough that it isn't and I have to mess with the favorites when I am in another city, which is 2-3 weekends per month).

The main thing I don't really like the car can be summed up on the one buzz word I've avoided this entire review: Reliability. I've had my car for 4.5 months and 4700 miles. I took it in once for optional software flashed (the dealership didn't even notify me they were available, someone mentioned it on reddit). A few days before my appointment, a CEL came on and went away on it's own about 2 days later (still before my apt). Not very inspiring. Other than that, however, I've had 0 issues.

Additionally, when compared to the IS, there aren't enough safety features that come standard. All those cool things that keep me from wrecking came with the Lexus for cheaper (albeit it was a former loaner car) than the Alfa was.

Finally, it is worth noting that the 2 worse dealership experiences I had were both Alfa (and I went to a freaking ton of dealerships). I ended up going to 4 different Alfa dealers (long story), but one wouldn't even let me test drive because they thought I was too poor (and then told me the leases start at $700/mo, which is a bold-faced lie, and gave us some perfunctory BS about why it was double other cars that cost the same MSRP). Another one I went to had a guy that summed up the different packages as "well, some will increase the price, some won't, and it's different for every car." Alfas were new, but he was obviously not very familiar with the product. He was a nice guy, just not prepared.

Anyways, 10 out of 10 times I would go with the Alfa again. ** TL;DR:**

ATS: I don't wanna drive a boat, I wanna drive a car.

Audi: I don't want to play a game, I wanna drive a car.

BMW: I don't wanna meh, I wanna car.

C Class: I don't want this much of a luxury car, I wanna sporty car.

Jag: I don't wanna pay for the interior of a car that looks like the basic package should look, I wanna luxury car.

Lexus: I don't wanna computer with a car around it, I want a car with a computer in it.

Alfa: I want an awesome car for my drive to the mechanic.

Thanks for taking the time to read all of this and for all the great advice I've gotten from various threads. Feel free to ask any questions you may have.

#reddit #autonews #auto #cars

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