#Girl next time don’t date someone just bc they’re hot and play the guitar

[stuckinapril]

I stay up nights thinking ab how my ex’s biggest flex is he’s a skater stoner who played the guitar

[jennycalendar]

2019 fic roundup

december was INSANE and i spent most of january dealing with the aftermath of Terrible Parents, but i am finally doing this! in nearly-february! good grief!

tagged by @catty-words​! always a delight, cori <3

Total 2019 Word Count: 541,906 Total 2019 Hits: 29,555 Other 2019 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 3,184; Comment threads: 787; Bookmarks: 509; Subscriptions: 223.

Total 2018 Word Count: 338,835 Total 2018 Hits: 22,374 Other 2018 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 2,192; Comment threads: 453; Bookmarks: 280; Subscriptions: 69.

links and titles to 2019 works (buckle up, folks.)

[btvs] imperfections (148,374 words) y’all know about the braveryverse already but i’ll bring up some good points: jenny and giles accidentally adopt the entire scooby gang. also faith gets some actual support and is actually eventually stable enough to date buffy. good times.

[btvs] deliberate obstruction (5,492 words) the one where jenny is petty as fuck and attempts to sabotage every single one of giles’s dates after their breakup. not her best look, but it was really fun to write jenny being Not Great. she deserves to have that option.

[btvs] arch-nemeses (2,171 words) who doesn’t love some of that good old-fashioned ripper au nonsense? particularly when it’s spike and ripper being confusing nemeses who sometimes drunkenly make out (jenny thinks this is very funny).

[btvs] sick day (3,097 words) written because someone should take care of giles, damnit! probably not jenny, tho. she’s not the best at it. lucky for her giles loves her so much.

[btvs] simpatico (10,096 words) sister fic to the grieving process! set circa btvs season six! jenny is connor’s awkward aunt! giles is a repressed disaster who’s still pining but refuses to admit it! 

[btvs] honesty’s the best policy (3,830 words) that one where giles and buffy are hit with a Truth Spell that means they say exactly what they’re thinking. is that all that bad for buffy? not too much. is it a little iffy when you’re a repressed watcher man who still haven’t told your girlfriend how much you love her? uh.

[btvs comics] i router, you giles (1,111 words) GOD this was written BEFORE i knew that giles and jenny were dating in the reboot comics and isn’t that a concept? a snarky-cute first meeting! ok not really that cute bc they just yell at each other a lot! but definitely snarky!

[btvs] transitional (3,152 words) good golly this is cute and i honestly forgot that i wrote it. which makes sense, bc there is a lot of stuff on this list. set in between season one and season two, in an attempt to bridge the giles/jenny gap between “awkwardly friendly coworkers” and “oh my god i think i like you”

[btvs] across the pond (5,323 words) FUN FACT this got nominated for a headline award and i’m SO PROUD OF THAT?! epistolary fic! giles leaves for england in s6 but without his wife! his wife is very mad and writes him VERY MANY LETTERS TO YELL AT HIM! perfect for those people who sometimes think “god, i wish jenny had been in s6 to yell at giles.” 

[btvs] very really married (66,987 words) giles and jenny got drunk-married in las vegas and are keeping the marriage going so they don’t look like terrible authority figures. giles does not want buffy to know about his fake wife. giles does not want his fake wife to know about his real slayer. giles has a lot of problems and it doesn’t help that he might be catching feelings. big mess.

[btvs] bad dreams (2,267 words) GILES/JENNY/ANYA IS BEST SHIP NEXT QUESTION

[btvs comics] an open mic enthusiast (2,250 words) yet another giles/jenny comic-reboot meet-cute written before i knew they were dating!!! this time: jenny gets to see giles playing guitar. repeatedly. because she keeps going back to watch him at the open mic.

[btvs comics] blindsided (2,024 words) my first (and definitely not last) giles/anya fic! a shorter version of a plot bunny i hope to chase down in 2020 (ahaha did i say that WHOOPS)

[btvs] uncharted (16,469 words) my jenny calendar day fic! also known as “jenny calendar has a guilt complex: a novella.” no prophecy dream outs jenny to the group -- but she tells them anyway. and blames herself. and breaks up with giles while she’s trying to Fix Things. absolute mess. (thank god there’s a happy ending, right?)

[btvs] on the mending of hearts (9,236 words) that giles/anya fic where giles shows up at anya’s failed wedding and sweeps her off her feet and they have sex in his hotel room! except uhhh there’s a lot more drama and crying and anya really just needs some cuddles, tbh.

[btvs] extracurricular activities (1,003 words) straight up this one BARELY counts as a 2019 fic. i wrote it back in 2016 and forgot about it and found it on my hard drive and wrote an ending to it. it’s tiny, but it’s cute! lots of early-relationship calendiles fluff, as is My Brand.

[btvs] cookie dough and boy talk (a remix) (3,976 words) dawn, but in the ripper au! she’s a precocious little bab and ripper babysits her and gets semi-adopted by joyce. it’s a thing.

[btvs] a history lesson (698 words) a brief ripper au interlude between jenny and dru. dru tries to point out that jenny and ripper are in love. jenny very unconvincingly denies it.

[btvs] faith, hope, and pancakes (3,236 words) ripper au, now with faith! and she gets to hang with college-age jenny! who is dating her idiot boyfriend ripper! the Most Fun of times.

[btvs] compromises (750 words) this....was supposed to be a three-sentence prompt but I Can’t Do That. giles and jenny discuss (read: jenny yells at giles about) giles attempting to attack angel on sight.

[btvs] valentine buzz (3,422 words) i wrote this in may lmao but i just REALLY WANTED to write fluffy braveryverse valentine’s day nonsense!!! lots of cuddles and kisses and softness abound in this fic.

[btvs] days in goodness spent (5,893 words) this fic's point was a little more abstract and a little less blunt than most of the rest of these, but i wanted to explore the concept of giles slowly going from idealizing jenny to genuinely loving her. i hope i did it justice.

[btvs] to have and to hold (7,861 words) giles and jenny get married in the braveryverse. that’s really all there is. also i posted this on my birthday (may 23rd) AND it is the 23rd fic on this list!!!! WILD!!!!!)

[btvs] saw her in the streetlight, making all the world bright (5,738 words) took me like a year and a half to write the first fic in the ripper au, lmao. in which jenny is a snarky eighteen-year-old, ripper is a snarky college dropout in a band, and neither of them are at ALL good at communicating. especially not ripper.

[btvs] perfect (1,465 words) ripper au: it’s revealed that jenny hasn’t had sex before. ripper handles this with his characteristic maturity and grace (just kidding lmao he FREAKS. but it’s bc he loves her.)

[btvs] respite (1,106 words) i wrote this after issue 5 of the reboot dropped bc i was very emotional about canon power couple giles and jenny. in retrospect, i gave giles’s emotional maturity WAY too much credit--esp. given what’s going on now--but it was still fun as heck to write.

[btvs] shouldn’t we be getting together (3,193 words) this fic’s existence is a combo of me reading a summer camp ya novel and liking the Aesthetic but not the Culture & me talking endlessly w/ @jackalopingintothevoid​ about ripper and jenny’s teenage dynamic. so many of these fics have her galaxy brain takes woven in and i KNOW she knows that. lov u, jack.

[btvs] fragmented (6,158 words) written because of that one time my brain was like “but what if jenny WAS haunting the school?” happy ending because it’s me and g/j deserve some kisses.

[btvs/hp crossover] buffy summers, muggle-born (22,070 words) i CAME BACK TO THIS in 2019 and wrote a few chapters and DROPPED IT LIKE A HOT POTATO. hopefully 2020 will bring me the courage to pick it up again!!!!!! who DOESN’T want a carelessly-mashed-together crossover where the scoobies and the golden trio are all going to hogwarts together for some reason????

[btvs] in bloom (8,452 words) this was SUPPOSED to be the end of the jenny-anya-tara trilogy. it was not. (more on that later.) this was also supposed to be a fic where giles and jenny get together. jenny and anya got together. writing things is wild sometimes.

[btvs] i still want to be your girl (35,165 words) straight up i am so proud of this fic! s7 au: jenny was chased out of town by angelus. giles does not know this. jenny has been working with angel in la, but left with faith to try and help defeat the first. giles is not the guy she remembers. (but jenny’s not exactly the lady giles remembers, either. so maybe things might work out.)

[btvs/leverage crossover] what’s in a name (4,421 words) sophie’s & jenny’s relationship to their names & identities always so totally fascinated me! this fic was my way of exploring that. (also i got to give giles and jenny a toddler. that was fun too.)

[btvs comics] live a little (6,700 words) i had so much fun coming up with a backstory for giles and jenny in the comics that i am kinda tempted to eventually try and do it again. this one was fun to write, tho.

[btvs] kind of like hydrogen peroxide (7,501 words) THIS was FUN. ripper au, but it explores both jenny’s longing for High School Normalcy AND ripper’s fucked-up relationship to magic. also senior prom is a thing.

[btvs] mending fences (6,093 words) sequel to the aforementioned epistolary fic! lots of first-person self-loathing from giles, but also a LOT of love for jenny and his kids. also the man really truly needs to stop repressing.

[btvs] her father’s daughter (1,982 words) 2020 will bring us another chapter of this fic i swear to GOD. literally there’s only one chapter up so i cannot even TALK about my plans for it but uhhh if you want giles and jenny and their three daughters pls feel free to go to that prologue and check it out.

[btvs] a thousand different ways we fell apart (4,888 words) the au fic to encompass all au fics! inspired by the comic reboot and me being like. christ. do they go through this ridiculous shit in EVERY universe? ....and then i wrote a fic where jenny was a space traveler looking through multiple universe to try and fix her marriage with giles. extra fun.

[btvs] no such roses (4,814 words) this one turned out a TINY bit rushed, but the concept of jenny bringing giles back from the dead is always something that i love exploring. i might come back and rewrite this, someday.

[btvs comics] no perfect choice (4,801 words) OOF. wrote this one after issue 8 dropped. a lot softer and more tender than what actually happened, tbh. maybe i will reread it again to make myself feel better about comic calendiles and their brutal split.

[btvs] family (3,545 words) wrote this one p early in the year and came up with an ending to it much later! ripper au: the story of how xander came to live with giles and leave his parents. angst-with-a-happy-ending abounds.

[btvs] a california january (2,206 words) jenny and giles attend a funeral together. that’s pretty much it. this is defs one of the best things i wrote this year, tho.

[btvs] how i survived my summer vacation (volume two) (25,027 words) swear to god this is gonna be the next thing i update. the braveryverse NEEDS to continue. it’s got married calendiles, for god’s sake.

[btvs] clear and impartial judgment (3,977 words) that fic i wrote when i got mad at a lack of resolution wrt helpless. like!!! giles drugged buffy!!! do we not get to talk about the psychological ramifications that would have on her???? (well. canon doesn’t. but i do.)

[btvs] sunshine ladies (10,188 words) THIS FIC WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN and i say that with incandescent love in my heart. i intended for the ‘verse to be giles/jenny, and then i intended it to be jenny/anya, and then i was like....jenny has two goddamn hands, and there’s foreshadowing here for endgame giles/jenny, and i wanna write some giles/anya. let’s fuckin go. (DEFINITELY writing another installment in 2020 about this iconic ot3 of mine.) 

[btvs] spirit-touched (4,769 words) the first smut i write and it’s calendiles ghost sex. i really think this is on brand for me, esp. considering that swath of asks in 2016ish where everyone wanted to know if ghosts could jack off. incredible.

[btvs] dear friend (28,865 words) this fic had such a rushed ending :( it’s a cute premise (you’ve got mail giles/jenny au!!!!!), but i lost interest halfway through, and as a writer i can rlly see that when i read it. another thing i might like to go back and rewrite at some point, tbh!

[btvs] familiar (2,034 words) AUGH i am SO proud of this fic. SO SO PROUD. it’s a concept i really can’t explain and the little twist at the end is something i really really like, so...just read it.

[miss fisher’s murder mysteries] unbearable (5,670 words) i need to write more mfmm in 2020 but the amount of good fic out there is deeply intimidating/delightful. this one was my little “what if it was phryne who thought jack was dead” and tbqh i had a lot of fun with it? bc pining phryne (who makes brief but extremely poignant appearances throughout the series) is an awkwardly, heart-meltingly sincere lady.

[ace attorney] man’s duty to society (544 words) wrote this as my first foray into aa fic while getting emo about miles edgeworth. would absolutely still die for that man.

[ace attorney] fancy running into you (5,887 words) lots of schmoopy narumitsu fluff! gregory edgeworth is alive! miles is trauma-free! phoenix is an artist! just!!! goodness!!!!!!!

[ace attorney] big sister (2,741 words) set in the same gregory-edgeworth-is-alive ‘verse: babey franziska comes to live with miles and his dad. she is a little impossible but miles kinda does love her.

[ace attorney] prince charming edgeworth and his incredible tux (8,042 words) this fic came from me being like “i want to write phoenix swooning over miles in a tuxedo and being like HE LOOKS LIKE A DISNEY PRINCE” and spiraled into something much longer!

[ace attorney] fate, choice, and everything in between (4,384 words) SOULMATE AU. nothing i love more than deconstructing soulmate aus. but like. in a romantic way. also phoenix and miles ARE soulmates and that is JUST facts.

Favorite Fic: I WROTE SO MUCH STUFF THO LIKE !?!??! how can one expect me to distill it to just one fic? i’ll make it my top threeL

a california january (I AM SO PROUD OF THIS FIC. it is soft and angsty and silly and devastating and tender. all the calendiles feels.)

i still want to be your girl (same mood!!! i’ve wanted to write this fic for literal years, and it’s one of those rare occasions where the picture in my head actually turned out BETTER when written out!)

sunshine ladies (this is like my giles/jenny/anya ship manifesto and it still makes me happy to think about them all co-running the magic box together and smooching a lot.)

Hardest Fic: OOF uh i went through a rocky period of writing when transitioning into college? no such roses and dear friend were hit the hardest by my insecurity & my desire to Finish Things rather than actually spend time on the craft. but i’m much more settled in now and my writing is DEFINITELY in an upward swing (as my newest fic -- as day follows night -- attests to quite nicely, imo)

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2020? always always yes! (i’m bad at following through with them, but am ALWAYS accepting them.)

What was the best thing about 2019? there were almost too many good things to COUNT, but i think all of them were made possible by me working extremely hard to get myself the FUCK out of my abusive parents’ house and into my first choice college!! i’m thriving, y’all.

What was the worst thing about 2019? realizing that both of my parents are fundamentally terrible people. that part kinda sucked.

Any last thoughts for 2019? i finally understand what it’s like to fall asleep feeling safe, and to notice the way the leaves change color, and to get excited about self-indulgent things like food and cuddly stuffed animals and my own fic and art. 2019 brought a lot of happiness into my life, and oh yeah also i’m in love! lots of cool stuff going on.

Goals for 2020

finish the latest braveryverse installment!

MORE ART JUST IN GENERAL. i love drawing, but there’s not a lot of free time for artsy celia when they prioritize writing so often!

write one of the many incredible longfic ideas that’s floating around in my head. it’s honestly probably only like two or three big ones, but at least DECIDE which one i’m gonna focus my energy on.

more giles/anya this year!

more giles/jenny/anya this year!

diversify! still gonna be writing about jenny forever, but like. it might be fun to write about a few new things here and there.

maybe some more ace attorney fic? maybe even some mfmm fic again? phryne and jack are never far from my heart.

not tagging anyone bc this is....january. but if you wanna do it, feel free!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #79

“there’s a man standing on top of a hill, screaming freedom for some, but all others must kneel.”

how do you typically introduce yourself in online settings? name, age, location, and i'll usually mention my passions. what do you think will bring on the end of the world? nuclear war, global warming, black hole, etc. religious armageddon of some sort. i don't even remember how the bible mentioned the world would end. do you believe in the death penalty? in VERY FEW CASES, yes. some people are just pure villainous. have you ever done role play? i think my common viewers know i'm a meerkat forum rper, but i've never done, like, real life rp. too weird for me personally. have you ever/would you ever do anal? nope and nope. what’s more important- length or width? why? i don't really care? do you talk dirty during sex? moderately. what was your first orgasm like? never had one, but i got extremely close once while being fingered but panicked so we stopped. i didn't know what was going on lmao. do you own any hair extensions from hot topic? nope. 7-11, sheetz, wawa, or starbucks? sheetz. what do you want to name your kids? daughter will 100% be alessandra, boy will be vincent, luther, or victor. do you personally know any authors? i knew a poet once, but never an author. kissed someone within a day of having a bf/gf? no, holy fuck, slow down. have you ever kept it a secret from someone that you liked them? yeah. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker? i don't think so. is there anyone you would date on your facebook friend list? no. ever been swimming in a lake or river? lake, multiple times. first time you kissed the last person you kissed? 2012 have you ever broken someone’s heart? idk. ever had a near death experience? i guess so. i overdosed, but i wasn't heavily affected by it, honestly. i've also gotten in a mild wreck. when was the last time you held someone’s hand? some months ago when i was getting my cyst emptied; i was holding mom's. can you play guitar hero? expert, babe. who is someone you know that can play the piano well? no one. who is the best dancer you know? carmen, the older sister of my little sister's former friend. name a time you thought you were going to die? immediately after i overdosed. have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? very commonly. do you know your neighbors? nope. how do you feel about interracial couples? awesome. what restaurant do you think has the best french fries? i am honestly not certain! who’s your best guy friend? sam or girt, idk. do you like fruit roll ups? yep. what’s the worse type of weather in your opinion? hot and humid. UGH. do you have a kindle or ipad or neither? neither. growing up, did you see your cousins often? i didn't. they live many states away. around what time do you usually eat dinner? between 6-7:30 do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked? i don't like carrots period. did you play with legos as a kid? nope. which bothers you more… spelling mistakes or bad grammar? bad grammar. is there a food that you love the taste of, but makes you feel sick? bananas are the prime example. love 'em, but i get heartburn that could kill a man. which did you discover first, myspace or facebook? myspace have you ever turned to drinking or smoking to solve a problem? let me clarify something here: drinking/smoking does not "solve" the problem, nor do i believe it is capable of doing so. have i turned to drinking for some relief from a problem, sure. if you HAD to get a piercing (not ears) what would you get? i want my lip repierced. what do you wish you had more knowledge about? politics. i don't understand a good 3/4 of it have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? divorce and parents fighting, yes. they fought so bad that just yelling became a trigger to me. do you drink more apple or orange juice? orange juice do you think relationships are hard? honestly, no. just think about it: if you truly love someone, what is so difficult about it? what is your favorite pop-tart flavor? oh my gaaaad the reeses ones. ever had the ‘birds and the bees’ talk with your parents? nope. i learned in family life. do you think you have to be skinny in order to be beautiful? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!! would you ever get gauged ears? noooo. have you ever been in a school talent show? what for? i haven't, but my best friend sang in one!! have you ever dated someone you met online? nope. are you a competitive person? nope. do you believe in aliens? i do not. do you like dancing? not really anymore... it's draining. where are you from? north carolina how much more social are you when you’re drunk? VERY if you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? dakota is tomboyish, i like that... or georgia, sounds very pretty... what’s your favorite form of exercise? swimming do you like guacamole? NO EW do you consider yourself sexually open minded? sure? how do you feel about porn? it's fucking disgusting. who was your hottest ex? jason was hot, don't care what anyone says. do you want/have kids? i want them. has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you? ohhhh, how funny! he's not around anymore! :D do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? nah. what’s your favorite flavor of iced tea? i hate tea. have you ever been to a casino? if so, which one(s)? none. do you love or hate olives? eh, neutral. have you ever visited a sex shop? nope. do you like the name cindy for a girl? nope. how many sets of keys do you have for your house? two. do you know anyone who has parkinson’s disease? don't think so. how many cousins do you have? what are their names? OH GOD TOO MANY. have you ever ridden a bicycle through a busy city? i have not. do you use instagram? how often do you post there? i do not. what’s your favorite brand of beer? never tried beer. do you like writing? how often do you write? i love writing! i do it a few times a day. what’s your favorite place to get pizza? domino's! has there ever been a fire inside your house? tell me the story. not while we inhabited it. our old house, however, burned to a crisp inside due to its new residents putting a fucking box on the stove. it was a brick house though, so the exterior was fine and it was rebuilt on the interior. have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? no. how many piercings do you have? only four now... ugh. do you own any sports bras? where’d you get them from? i do not. what’s the most expensive restaurant you’ve ever eaten at? no place all that expensive, honestly. who was the last person to tell you that you were beautiful/cute/good-looking? are you attracted to that person too? chelsea called me beautiful, and she absolutely is, too! has anyone ever called you stuck-up? no. when is the next birthday in your household and whose is it? nicole's is in april. what color are your father’s eyes? brown in winter, would you rather wear a jacket or hoodie? hoodie have you ever voluntarily read the bible? i read some of it, yes. how much is gas where you live? like... $2.20 a gallon. do you have any gay friends? i do. do you like the state you live in? nope. who is your favorite person to watch on youtube? has to be a singular youtuber? then markiplier. how often would you say you take naps? once every few days. have you ever played bejeweled? that game was my mom's SHIT. it was all right. does your mom have a facebook? yes. have you ever been bitten by a rat? no. why do you not wash off your makeup on some nights? being lazy. does blueberry syrup sound good to you, right now? no. did you get lucky on prom night? sex-wise, no, but in my own opinion, i got very lucky, because we made my favorite memory. have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? noooo. last song you had stuck in your head? "pity party" by melanie martinez has been stuck in my head for over 24 hours lmao kill me did you ever spill something and actually cry over it? i don't know of a specific occasion, but it's possible i have, especially if i was REALLY hungry or thirsty. do you think that everyone is capable of love? i sure do not. do you believe in astrology? nope. i don't waste my time with it. if you had to wear a hat for the rest of your life, what would it be? fedora. they sexy. would you rather have a musical alarm clock or a regular one? musical!! when you were little, what was your favorite game? the "spyro the dragon" trilogy was my life. do you prefer to wrap gifts or use gift bags? gift bags are more aesthetically pleasing, imho. do you own a trenchcoat? fam i wish. are you currently in a smoking environment? yes. chelsea is allowed to smoke here. if a stranger smiles at you, do you smile back? usually, but i may feel a bit awkward. have you ever known a guy who caused a lot of drama? i sure do. have you ever taken care of a drunk friend? nope. what’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? i'm not entirely certain how i feel about it. now if you're hunting and actually eat what you kill, that's 100% cool, it's survival. but killing just to kill? sounds... immoral. but then again, i'm a christian and understand animals were put on the earth for humans, so idk. have you ever gone in a sauna? oh fuck that. sounds like hell to me. out of these colors, which appeals most to you: orange, blue, or green? orange do you believe in finders keepers in most situations? not at all. has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? not to my knowledge. would you make any changes to your current bedroom? i, technically, do not have a bedroom atm bc we're in the process of moving. what animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? meerkats, totes. having them as pets is horrible for them, and i'm pretty sure it's illegal in the u.s., too. do you own many pairs of shorts? i have none. is there a certain song you like to head bang to? surprisingly, i don't headbang. hurts my head. who was or will be the maid of honor/best man in your wedding? colleen! :D what is your favorite lunch meat?  salami, probs. do you still have your tonsils? i do. red or pink? pink! do you have a special talent? lmaoooo where were you born? rocky mount, nc do you own any clothes you wouldn’t wear in front of your mother?  no. what do you think the hardest part of surviving is?  just the pain of it. do you know anyone with a lazy eye? yep. can you remember your parents’ birthdays?  mom's, yes; dad's, no. what piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? lip. tongue is a close second, they sexy. what brand of hair dye do you prefer to use? splat, bc it actually works for my hair. are you any good at applying make up?  no, due to my tremor. are you currently wearing any hair accessories? which ones? i am not. do you like potato chips? bury me in a bag of lays pls gold or silver? gold is there an animal that creeps you out? WHALE SHARKS, slugs, certain spiders and bugs, etc... have you ever seen northern lights? i wish! do your parents smoke? dad does is your favorite animal endangered?  no how old is your best friend?  21 if there was a large spider in your room, would you stay in the room? that shit's gotta get out, no. what color is your cell phone? black do you take vitamins daily?  no what’s one thing you hate about your best friend?  she's racist. be honest: do you illegally download music? yeah. welcome to 2k17. what’s the worst crime someone can commit? rape. you’re painting your room. what color do you choose? hm. i'd really have to see how my new room's going to look, but maybe like, a coffee-colored tan. what dog breed is the cutest ever? akita inus, eeeek! are cherries delicious? ew, no. have you ever experienced a tornado? thank the actual lord jesus christ no. how about a flood? yes. my brother went outside, slid down the slide on our playset, and fucking swam in it lmao do you or have you ever owned a pair of light up shoes? sure, as a kid. what is a current goal you’re trying to achieve? obtain a job. is there something that you thought you would’ve outgrown/gotten over by now, but haven’t? definitely forum meerkat role-play. i started that in middle school ffs dude. how often do you “draw a blank” mentally? A LOT. mainly when i'm talking, which is annoying. have you ever played the sims?   the animal ones, yes.  loved 'em. is your current hair color your natural hair color?   no, but you can see my roots now. can you run a mile in under 7 minutes?   HAHAHAHAHAHAHA do you have your license?   i do not.  i'm a nervous wreck when driving. have you ever sleep walked?   i have not. where was your first job?   gamestop do you remember your second grade teacher’s name?   mrs. whitley what do you like on your sundaes?   i like nothing "on" them have you been blessed with the ability to cook and/or bake?   nope... have you gained more than 5 lbs within the past year?   ... i gained over 100.  it's fucking embarrassing.  i just found out recently the weight gain was moreso a medication i was finally taken off of rather than eating habits, though. do you want kids at some point?   i do. are you lactose intolerant?   no. do you believe in abstaining from sex until marriage?   it's a personal choice.  if you want to, go for it. what is your sexual orientation?   heterosexual have you ever bought clothing online?   yes, i prefer it. do you think shakespeare is difficult to read?   not really, no. do you play solitaire in the computer?   no, dunno how. have you ever received nude pictures from someone?   no. admit it: you had a neopets account.   damn right i did, neopets was/is rad. is there a pet in the room with you right now?   miracle and maxwell are currently playing, yes. how weight conscious are you?   VERY OMG is there anyone else with you right now?   bradley, colleen's husband, is currently watching tv in here w/ me. have you ever been accused of cheating?   nope. have you ever taken a train?   i have not. is being thin really all that great?   not necessarily "thin," but slim, sure.  you're more likely to be physically healthy. have you ever been to a night club?   i haven't. does any accent annoy you?   a veeeery thick southern accent doesn't "annoy" me, but it's aggravating 'cuz i can't understand you. what’s worse: crocs or uggs?   crocs are unholy. do you feel awkward when a stranger sits next to you?   yep. do you have any taylor swift songs on your ipod?   ... i confess to "picture to burn" and "should've said no" kill me pls do you want your tongue or belly button pierced?   tongue, yes.  a belly button ring wouldn't look good on me. do you hate it when people smoke around you?   YEAH what is your blood-type?   a.  don't remember if it's positive or negative tho. are you donating your organs?   yes. do you sleep on your side, stomach or back?   side, always. have you ever been a fan of ‘n sync?   i was a '90s baby.  you know it. do you know anyone that has/had cancer?   mom had kidney cancer. were you a big jump roper back in the day?   i was.  i got to where i could jump in. has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you?   yes.  not that i wanted that to happen. do you like chinese food?   a few things, sure.  just had some last night. do long distance relationships work?   of course.  not my first choice for me personally though. how do you like your eggs?   scrambled, cheesy. mcdonald’s or burger king?   mcd's.