#Get Well Soon Aunty Messages and Quotes

[asim254]

Get Well Prayer Messages for Aunt

Heartfelt Get Well Prayers Messages for Aunt Knowing that someone thinks about you and wishes for your safe recovery is one of the best feelings in the world especially for people who are at their lowest due to illness. Get well soon prayer messages are a great way to show her that you care. It shows that you have taken the time to think of them and wish them a full recovery. A carefully written…

[trueshellz]

@regs09

I hope this is okay! I tried to show her as helpful as possible but a little sparky too. They're not all the same length but I tried to use different scenarios too.

Kuroo

The first time he saw you, you were surrounded by 2nd years pestering you for your phone number and he truly felt sorry for those guys. You couldn’t have had a bigger ‘fuck off’ face even if you tried. As he walked over, he was getting ready to set them straight when he overheard you.

“If you don’t get away from me in the next 10 seconds, I will rearrange your face.”

He’d never seen boys run away apologising so fast in his life, his signature laugh being heard by everyone, even Kenma gave him a WTF look as they walked together down the corridor.

“Oya? You seemed to have put them right in their place.”

Still annoyed at the situation, you whirled around and glared at him, hands placed on your hips. You knew Kuroo Tetsuro, everyone knew Kuroo Tetsuro. Third year, Nekoma volleyball captain, signature smile and absolute flirt.

“You wanna go as well, pretty boy?” You huffed as he held his hands up in mock surrender, grin wide across his face.

“Woah there, sparky. I was coming over to help you.”

Hiking your bag up your shoulder, you purposely walked between him and Kenma. “I didn’t need your help.”

The second time he saw you, he was grabbing a book from the library and he saw you sat with one of the 1st year girls. Exam week was around the corner so the library was busier than usual, he could see some of his teammates in the back too, knowing full well if they failed exams they could be pulled from the upcoming games.

He could see the girl was stressed out from the way she was flailing her arms, her face red as she pointed at her books. He saw you smile as you leaned over, pointing to something before taking out a mini whiteboard and pen from you bag. You giggled as she held her arms up in the air, she must have got the answer right. He was momentarily stunned by your change in demeanor and he could feel himself smile as you clapped for your student.

When you were dating, Kuroo was more than aware of how people perceived you. He had the same issue to some extent, being perceived as a harsh captain with a scheming personality meant some students were often scared to approach him. But when you were alone, you would often curl up to him on the sofa and often acted cute in front of him especially when he came home after a game to help cheer him up. Packing bento boxes for his lunches with cute cut out fruit and animal shaped onigiri and leaving cute notes in his bags and books.

You would always come near the end of Nekoma practice matches with drinks or healthy snacks for his team, who loved you for this reason. Yamamoto more so than the rest, a huge flirt who tried to hug attack you every time only to get yelled at by your boyfriend and given clean up duties as punishment.

"Tetsu, he just wants a hug."

He mock pouted as he looked at you, his lip stuck out almost comically. "Those hugs are mine, he can't have any."

The manager and you got along well too, you would help them by sweeping up after the boys or tidying away the equipment. A few times you helped Lev out when he tore his uniform falling over or tripping on his long legs as he got used to playing volleyball. He would feel so bad too, looking at you like a lost puppy as you sewed up his hem or patched a hole he had in his shorts or t shirt. The one time he managed to rip the stitching of his t shirt up to his arm pit when he skidded across the floor trying to save the ball. Needless to say, it didn't end well and you were glad you had taken to carrying a sewing kit with you when you went to watch them practice.

"I'm so sorry!"

"It's fine, Lev. Don't worry about it."

Kuroo knew the saying: Don't judge a book by it's cover, but he didn't realise how true it was until he met you. He could have missed out on one of the best people in his life.

Bokuto

Bokuto was known for having a cheery outlook on life, yes he had his emo moments but it took a lot to get him down generally. But you always baffled him, whenever he saw you it seemed as though you were angry or annoyed. In class, no matter the task or who you worked with, you looked fed up. After school when you were walking home, you seemed frustrated. At lunchtime, you sat with friends but you seemed like you'd had enough. You were a conundrum to him.

After school one day, he was walking towards the local shop to grab some snacks and he saw you crouching on the ground, your face was a mixture of awe and sadness as you looked at a box on the ground. As he neared you, he could hear small whines and the scratching against the box and when he peered over your shoulder he could see some puppies in the box.

"Someone left them here alone?"

You jumped as you heard his voice, looking up to see him standing over you, he had his bag slung on his shoulder and was still dressed in his volleyball gear. You'd seen him around school, he sat on the opposite side of the classroom to you so you never worked together. You knew he was the captain of the school's volleyball team but didn't know much else about him.

"Yeah, it's so cruel. They're only babies too."

And that was how you two became started friends and eventually dating, bonding over your love for animals and disdain for the situation. He accompanied you to the local animal shelter where you dropped the puppies off, not being able to take them home. He was enthralled by your change in demeanor, you would always smile at him and act a lot more animated. You would help Akaashi get him out of his funk when he had a bad day or one of his moves didn't go to plan. He had taken to buying you the famous octopus plushie too and would use it to gauge your mood, you found it hilarious. If you were sad or angry, he would come bearing snacks or gifts and if you were happy, he knew he was able to hug attack you and smother you in kisses.

Attending every game, you would always dress in his team number and cheer the loudest for him. After school, you would help him unwind, either spending time giving him a massage or just cuddling on the sofa together. You would lay on him, arms and legs intertwined as you watched television or playing with hair as his head was in your lap. Even going as far to sometimes climb into the front of his hoodie so you would be skin to skin with him. You loved the feel of his heartbeat against your ears and his breathing would calm you. You spent more time in his lap, head buried in his neck than sat alone as you lived feeling his body heat against you. Thankfully, Koutaro didn't mind, he loved the attention and having you close to him.

Who knew such a angry little bean would become such a cute little sloth?

Osamu

Every weekend like clockwork at lunchtime, you would walk in and order 2 meals. One to eat at the time and one to pick up at the end of your meal and take away. You always sat in the corner by yourself, flicking through your phone. You weren't rude or anything, but you had an aura of 'leave me alone' or else which usually kept people away from you. As Osamu watched, he couldn't help but wonder about you and your background.

He tried talking to you first, but apart from polite conversation you didn't seem to want to talk to him. He tried broaching lots of subjects but you just gave minimal answers. He was quite frustrated to say the least, Atsumu didn't help with his idea either. They just seemed to be annoying or potentially harassing, neither a great choice.

It was the end of the day when he was packing away, you had just left the restaurant and Osamu was packing all the left over food in boxes to give to the homeless people around the restaurant. He didn't like wasting food, not being one to be ungrateful and decided early on to donate it to those who were less fortunate. Carrying the snack packs, he started his usual journey down the roads and handing his packages out to anyone who was in need.

As he rounded the corner, he saw you leaning down speaking to an elderly lady who had a small child. She looked tired, her cheeks red from exhaustion and cold, the child looking equally cold in this weather too. They had been selling fruit from what he could see and he stared in fascination as you not only bought their remaining stock but gave them the second meal you bought that day.

"No, no. You always do this. It's not fair, we'll exchange. You give me food for my fruit."

"Auntie, no. You know very well that I don't expect payment for this. Its a gift. Take the food, go home and eat. Use the money for your daughter."

Nearing to you, he bowed quickly before leaning down and handing the child some onigiri. She smiled up at him, all toothy and he felt his heart warm up seeing her munch away at the rice ball. Looking at you, he could see the broad smile on your face as you bantered with the woman, seeing you like this was such a contrast to your usual stoic attitude.

This routine continued for a few weeks, eventually you would help Osamu out with his packing. Carrying some of the lighter packages to hand out to everyone, your conversation becoming more and more in depth the more you spoke to one another. You had more in common than you thought, including your selflessness you both had similar taste in music and movies.

One thing led to another and soon you found yourself dating, Osamu didn't realise how cute you were in real life until you moved in together. He remembered how shocked he was when you bought matching Pikachu onesies to wear and would take lots of selfies with him. His phone was full of cute pictures that he got during the day with little messages and lovey dovey quotes. The apartment was full of couple things like matching slippers and the progression of your relationship through little mementos strewn across the wall.

You would spend any spare time you had at his shop helping him, or trying to as you seemed to get distracted by how pretty your boyfriend was. Or you would come behind him and attach yourself in a backhug, Osamu wouldn't be able to get much done with a limpet attached so you compromised on a only doing that when he had a break.

What started as a fascination ended up being one of the biggest surprises of his life and he couldn't imagine his life without you in it.

[southeastasianists]

It had been two days since Hafiz last heard from Iani.

He knew that Iani’s parents had a history of abusing them [Note 1], and was worried for their safety. He’d tried everything — text messages, WhatsApp messages, voice calls — but received no response from Iani. It was as if they’d suddenly upped and left. Now his last resort was to make an unannounced visit to Iani’s house to make sure they’re safe.

Hafiz had a plan in mind. He would bring food to Iani’s house and pretend that they’d made dinner plans. It was something they did often, so he thought that that would make for a believable cover. At the back of his mind, however, Hafiz knew that this cover would be blown if something bad had really happened. Yet a half-baked plan was better than none at all.

Hafiz knocked on Iani’s house door and waited for someone to answer it. He heard some voices behind the door, but before he could make out what they were saying, the door cracked open. Iani’s mother greeted him with a strained smile, and Hafiz could see Iani’s father peering at him behind her. Hafiz knew that something’s not right.

“Hello aunty, uncle! I bought dinner for Iani, are they at home?” Hafiz said.

“No, but come in first,” Iani’s mother said, and ushered him into the living room. Iani’s father opened a Qur’an and started reciting a few lines of scripture to Hafiz. Once he was done, he passed the Qur’an to Hafiz and asked him to recite the same verses. It was an odd request, but Hafiz obliged; he knew why they were making him do that. After the ritual was completed, Iani’s parents told Hafiz that Iani had been admitted to the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) for emergency treatment of a psychotic breakdown. What they left out was that Iani’s breakdown was caused by “conversion therapy” sessions they forced upon Iani.

Hafiz rushed down to the hospital immediately. After two days of radio silence, he finally saw Iani again. But his feeling of relief was soon washed over by a commotion that erupted from Iani’s family members — they weren’t expecting any visitors. Iani winced at the noise and pulled Hafiz aside.

“Help me,” they whispered to him. “Break me out of here.”

Iani had been close with their parents since they were young. But things turned quickly and unexpectedly when Iani was 16. They were accidentally outed as lesbian [Note 2] to their parents, and before they knew it, the elders in Iani’s extended family started getting involved in organising “conversion therapy” sessions.

Iani’s grandmother and uncle came over to their house one day. It was clear right away that this wasn’t just a normal social visit; Iani only saw their uncle at larger family gatherings and celebrations. Their uncle is an Ustaz — a male Islamic religious teacher — and he made Iani sit in the corner of the living room. He then began calling out to an “evil spirit” in the room, and asked it to speak with the group.

It was a confusing experience for Iani, because while he made it look as if he were speaking with an “evil spirit”, it soon became clear that he was speaking directly to Iani. He asked a range of questions, and most of them were phrased to get the answers that he wanted to hear.

“Are you sad often?” he asked.

“Yes,” Iani, who had a medical history of anxiety and depression, answered.

“Do you feel like your parents don’t understand you?” he followed up.

“Yes,” Iani, whose parents wanted to put them through “conversion therapy”, replied.

The questioning went on for a while, but he never asked Iani (or the “evil spirit”, for that matter) anything about being lesbian. Instead, the questions were generic enough — as if by intention — that most teenagers at Iani’s age would answer the exact same way.

At the end of the session, he declared that Iani was possessed by a jinn — an evil spirit in Islamic mythology. The jinn, he explained to Iani’s parents, was responsible for influencing Iani’s sexuality and needed to be expelled from their body for them to become “normal”.

The session was mentally exhausting for Iani, because they had to suppress a multitude of emotions. First was anger: they felt that their uncle’s mixing of his superstitious beliefs with Islam was insulting to the religion. Then disbelief: Iani didn’t expect their father, who was well-educated, to be so easily swayed by his claims. Finally, betrayal: Iani had just witnessed first-hand how quickly their entire family turned on them.

But the benignity of the first session made Iani let their guard down. In a way, nothing could have prepared them for what’s about to come.

Around a week later, Iani’s uncle returned to perform ruqyah (an exorcism) on Iani. He made Iani memorise and recite verses from the Qur’an, and whenever the recital wasn’t to his liking — whether it’s done too loudly, too softly, or “not smoothly enough” — he would whip Iani with a rattan cane. Iani’s parents draped a heavy blanket over Iani’s body before letting their uncle beat them; they were careful to ensure that he wouldn’t leave visible bruises.

Iani’s uncle also made them perform sujud — a low bow, where one gets on their knees and has their head touch the ground. He then held a lighter to each of Iani’s feet as he recited Qur’anic verses to “cast the jinn away”. Iani screamed in pain from the searing heat of the fire, but their parents only saw that as a sign that the exorcism was working. At the end of the ruqyah, Iani’s sexuality remained unchanged, but their trust in their family shattered completely.

It soon became clear to Iani that the ruqyahs that their parents arranged were meticulously planned to ensure that the perpetrators could get away without consequences. When Iani suffered from a mental breakdown, their parents decided to call in an Ustaz for a ruqyah instead of seeking medical help. The Ustaz came over and restrained Iani while he performed his ritual. But when Iani’s father saw the bruises on Iani’s wrists, he immediately scolded the Ustaz.

“Jangan eh! Nanti orang report police! (Don’t do that, what if they report this to the police!)” Iani’s father shouted.

At the end of the session, the Ustaz told Iani’s parents that the jinn possessing Iani was there to destroy their family. This was a test of the strength of their family’s Islamic faith, the Ustaz said. He added that Iani really wasn’t lesbian, but only became so because of the evil influence of the jinn. This line of reasoning — a repetition of what Iani’s uncle previously mentioned — reinforced the idea that LGBTQ+ identities are inherently “unnatural” and can be changed. The Ustaz went on to instruct Iani’s parents to read the Qur’an together every night, and pray together as a family at least once a day in order to drive the jinn away.

Iani’s parents took his advice to heart and began intensifying their “conversion therapy” practices. Every day, Iani’s mother would force them to listen to syarahan (religious sermons) that focused on the “right” ways women should act, and how they should go about finding “good” husbands. Every evening since the visit from the Ustaz, the azan (Islamic call to prayer) at home would blast louder than before.

Iani’s mother also started performing her own exorcisms on Iani: she would put a metal bowl over an open flame, and claim that doing so would hurt the jinn. The metal bowl in itself had no effect on Iani, but over time, it started triggering memories of previous ruqyahs, and would cause anxiety attacks to set in. It appears that Iani’s mother never realised that she was psychologically torturing her already mentally unwell child. Instead, she earnestly engaged in anxiety-triggering activities, thinking that her rituals were working, and that they were somehow helping her child “get better”.

Soon after, Iani’s father made them watch a documentary about the story of Lut [Note 3]. The story of Lut is often quoted by Muslims to demonstrate God’s disapproval of homosexuality. At the end of the documentary, Iani’s father told them that being gay is wrong. This was the first time he made his stance so explicit. Iani was enraged, and argued that Allah also warned against rape in the story of Lut.

“Rape is everywhere, but being gay isn’t,” Iani’s father responded. “That’s why being gay will always be the biggest sin.”

As a survivor of childhood sexual assault, Iani felt like a knife was plunged into their chest. Iani’s father knew about their childhood trauma and how much it affected their mental health. Yet it seemed like he still believed that sexually violating someone else was more acceptable than being gay.

Iani’s existing mental issues, coupled with their parents’ relentless “conversion therapy” practices, meant that they spent considerable time with therapists at IMH. And even though Iani had been vocal about their parents’ abusive behaviours — even telling their therapists that their parents should be the ones receiving treatment — no serious action was taken against their parents. The responses Iani heard back were often along the lines of: “They only act like that because they’re muslims”; “They’re doing this for your own good”; “Some parents are like that”.

Even when a therapist was willing to talk to Iani’s parents about their “conversion therapy” practices, they would find themselves powerless in countering their beliefs.

“I’ve told your parents about sexuality and how it can’t be changed,” the therapist told Iani. “They know that what they’re doing is wrong.”

“So why won’t they stop?” Iani asked. “Why do they keep doing it?”

“They told me that they’re not stopping because they want to be better muslims.”

Iani is much older now, and no longer lives with their parents. They never reconciled with each other, and their relationship remains strained. Though it’s been many years since their last “conversion therapy” encounter, Iani hasn’t fully recovered from the trauma. Listening to azans could trigger anxiety attacks. Hearing someone say “Allah” would bring back memories of being beaten up by their uncle.

The concept of a jinn causing homosexuality might sound unique to Islam, but its main tenets are very similar to other “conversion therapy” beliefs. For one, a core idea behind the jinn’s possession is that people aren’t naturally LGBTQ+, but are influenced by external forces to be so. On top of that, the exorcism of the jinn is just another way of asserting that people’s sexualities can be changed. In those regards, “conversion therapy” practices across religions [Note 4] are more similar than they are different.

It’s important for us to understand that there is medical consensus that “conversion therapy” practices don’t work, and can cause long-term harm on participants (page 115). As we can see from Iani’s story, “conversion therapy” can lead to trauma that deeply affects the mental health of participants.

Many countries have taken action to protect people from the harms of “conversion therapy”. Taiwan has fully banned “conversion therapy” practices, while Germany has done so for minors. Other countries such as Canada, Israel, New Zealand, and the UK are considering legislation that would make them illegal.

Yet “conversion therapy” remains legal in Singapore. Many other teenagers like Iani may continue to be subjected to abusive ruqyahs and face long-term psychological damage. On top of that, Singapore’s domestic abuse laws allow parents to punish their child, so long as it’s done to “correct” the child’s behaviour (s64). This legal loophole means that many parents may be able to continue enlisting the help of Ustazs for “conversion therapy” with no consequence.

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 3.8k

Warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of death,

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 17 Part 19

Part 18

It was a crazy week, and by Wednesday, I had had enough and wanted it to be all over. It was the last day of school for the term. The kids were rowdy, and it was hard for them to concentrate. I gave up structured lessons after the morning session, and we did Easter craft. Still, even craft was hard for my kids. Most of them can't use scissors without assistance or had to use modified ones set into a wooden block. It wasn't a bludge, but it was much less stressful for both the kids and myself.

I had playground duty at lunchtime. Some of the older mainstream kids had heard about Liam, and a few would walk past me and sing the theme song to his superhero movies. Others would have a conversation with me and sneak in a movie quote. Lucky for me, most of Liam's films weren't appropriate for children, so there were only a few they could use. The kids would run away giggling, and I would shake my head. I wasn't upset by it, kids are kids, and at least they made their fun to my face.

The parents were awful. The mums would go quiet when I was near them, and I would hear laughter or whispering as I walked away. The dads looked at me just that little bit longer, making me feel uncomfortable. I just tried to remember Liam's arms around me, the way he made me feel safe in his arms. I found myself touching my earrings a lot. They soothed me.

The worst part was the other staff. Not all of them, just a couple of the younger ones and newer ones. Their eyes seemed to bore into me in the staff room and in meetings. The ones who had been here when Andy died were good. They appeared to be on the same page as Marla had been. The rest of the support class teachers and TA's were kind. They actually asked me to my face about it, seemed happy for me, and then that was it they moved on.

My boss, Michael, did call me into his office on Monday afternoon. He was good about it mostly, just concerned because apparently, the office staff had received a few phone calls from a couple of media outlets trying to get in contact with me. The staff were good enough to hang up on them. I was honest with Michael and said I didn't know what my plans were, just that we were dating. I did tell him about how it would be official on Thursday, but it worked out well because the office would be empty for two weeks, and by then, I'll be old news.

When I spoke to Liam on the phone, I had told him about how I was feeling. I was honest about it as much as I could be.

Liam was empathetic and seemed sincere when he said I didn't have to go. "If it's too much, we can wait for another time. The dress you have will be as good in a few months as it is now. Or we can return it all and try again later." Cheekily he said, "I'll let you keep the earrings."

I declined. I wanted to get it over with. I figured the quicker it was done, the quicker no one would care, and I can go back into hiding. It was like ripping off a band-aid. Just do it.

When I had gotten home from work on Tuesday, I had decided to do the hardest thing of all. I called Andy's mother.

Anthea was born in Greece and immigrated to Australia with her family in her early teens. She had met Andy's dad, Tim, a white Australian with Irish heritage, and they had a beautiful marriage. They had five children, three boys and two girls. Andy was the youngest son and was the unofficial favourite. She had always been lovely to me. She always called me Little Lana and would always hug me and insist I ate. On my birthday, she would make me galaktoboureko. She still calls me for my birthday and invites me over for Orthodox Easter and Christmas. I don't go, but I always make sure to call and send presents for my two godchildren.

"My Little Lana," Anthea gushed. "It is so good to hear from you. How are you going? Tim, Lana is on the phone! He will be so happy you called. Yes, Timothy, it's Lana. Yes, Tim says g'day. How are you? We miss you. How is work? How are your precious children? You do such good work, Little Lana."

Did I mention she talks a lot? She was one of those people who seemed to speak without having to take a breath.

"Hi Anthea, I'm doing well. Work is great, really good. I have a great bunch this year."

"Yes, you sound happy, Little Lana. Your new boyfriend must have something to do with it? He is very handsome. Not as handsome as Kamari mou but handsome. I showed all my friends, and they tell me you are still so beautiful and your hair is still so pretty and long. So long now. You've grown it."

I was stunned. I tried to talk, but the lump in my throat was so big, I couldn't swallow. I tried to say something, but all that came out was a huge sob, and I broke down.

"I'm sorry, Anthea, I am so sorry."

"Why are you crying? Stop it. Alana, why would I be upset? Why are you crying? Don't cry, silly girl. You should be happy. I do not expect you to be wearing black, like an old lady from my old country, for the rest of your life. I know you loved my son. but you're too young to grieve forever."

"I wanted to call you and tell you, but it happened so fast." I was still crying, but it wasn't so bad now. Anthea had comforted me in a way that I hadn't even known I needed. That she still loved me when I had started dating another man was incredible to me.

"You shhh, Little Lana. Listen to me. You have obviously called me for permission whether you know that's what you were doing or not. You have it, my blessing. Kamari mou wanted you to be happy also. He would not want you to be alone forever. You know this. Go speak to him, speak to Andy, and you will know."

"Thank you, Anthea."

"There now, Little Lana, you will be ok. Now no more speaking of sadness. I must tell you all the wonderful news. You will be an Aunty again soon."

Anthea talked to me for a little over an hour. Talking to Anthea was being talked at, but I needed it. I promised to call her again soon. She, of course, invited me to Easter but didn't expect a reply.

I felt lighter after talking to her. She was right. I had needed to know from her that she was ok with it. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been. I don't think I would have ended it with Liam. I think I was in too deep, but it would have been much harder to go on.

Anthea was right about something else too. I needed to talk to Andy.

So after school on Wednesday, I drove to the cemetery. I went and saw my Dad first. I didn't have much to say to him. I just sat there and let the memories come to me.

I remembered when I was six, and he shaved his moustache off, and I hadn't recognised him. I had run screaming to my Mum that there was a stranger in the house. I remembered how he would take us to see the fireworks on New Year's Eve, getting there early to get good spots and watch in awe as the fireworks exploded over Sydney Harbour. Nothing was as breathtaking as my home city on New Year's Eve. I thought about how he loved David Bowie, and he had even convinced my mother to name my brother after him. Dave and I had taken Dad to see David Bowie a few years before he passed away, and it was one of the most incredible nights of my life. The Labyrinth is still my favourite kid's movie, and Jareth was my first crush. He looked so good in those tights.

I went to see Andy. I don't see him very often. I go on Boxing Day, his birthday and our anniversary. As had become my ritual on those visits, I had his old phone and listened to his playlist. I laid down on the grass next to him and looked up at the sky. After a while, I started talking.

"Hey Butthead," I started, smiling as I said our private nickname. "I've got some things to tell you. First of all, I miss you. But surely you know that. And I know you know I will always love you. You were such a beacon in my life. A light for me when everything else was dark. I was like a moth to your flame. You drew me in, making me want to be close to you. You always made me feel like everything would be ok if I just stayed in your light. Things were so dark when you were taken from me. For so long, I felt nothing. Everything was dark.

"But then I started feeling better. I still missed you every day, but I wanted to find that again. Feel that love and safety again. I started dating about six months ago. Online mostly, you know, how the kids do it these days. I went on a few dates but felt nothing. Or if I did feel something, I felt like they weren't as good as you. Why would I settle for anyone who wasn't as good as you?

"I don't mean the same as you. I mean someone who moves me the way you did. Someone who showed me kindness like you did, someone who made me laugh, made me feel giddy. Someone I was attracted to. But also someone I wanted to do things for, someone who I wanted to go out of my way for, not because they forced me, but because I wanted to because I knew they would do it for me.

"I was about to give up. I only tried dating for a few months, but it felt so futile that I didn't care anymore. Then this guy started messaging me. He was sweet and funny, a Pom, but don't hold that against him. Anyway, I liked him instantly. It scared the shit out of me. I made him wait three months before I agreed to meet him. I was so scared because I knew I could fall for him.

"And when I met him, the sparks were there. It was instant. He was all the things I wanted. He's not like you. You're both very different. I mean, he doesn't like Mad Max for God's sake. But he makes me feel the way you made me feel. And Andy, I am falling for him."

*********************

"Lana, hold still." Jen was pulling my hair. I looked over at Riza, who was covering her mouth with a magazine. Her shaking shoulders gave her away, though, and I could see she was laughing her arse off. "I only have a couple more to do, and then you can go home and sleep."

I was at Riza's place. I had to see Jen after I spoke to Andy. Jen wanted to put my hair in pin curls. She had washed my hair and then got started pinning small sections of my already curly hair into curls.

I thought it was weird, but she said the hair has to be curled in the right direction for the style to work. She also said that the longer the curls were in, the better the result. That's why I was at her place, getting my hair done 24 hours before the event. How do celebrities live like this?

"How the hell am I going to sleep in this?" Riza's dropped all pretence and was laughing openly at me now. "Get bent, Riza."

"Hey! You're the one who looks like a 1950's housewife right now."

"1940's babe," Jen admonished. "Get it right."

When she finished, she wrapped my hair in a silk scarf. "Did you buy me an apron to go with the barefoot in the kitchen look?" I asked.

Jen laughed. She knew me well enough to know it was a joke. "Trust me. You're gonna love it."

"So when do I take the clips out?" I asked Jen.

"Not until I do your hair."

My eyes bulged. "I'm going to Liam's place hours before you're going to get there."

Riza pissed herself laughing, and Jen just said, "trust me."

When I got in bed, I rang Liam. I Facetimed him. Maybe if he laughs at me now, he won't laugh at me when I'm there, which would break my heart. His reaction surprised me.

"Why are you wearing a scarf? Please tell me you didn't dye your hair." He looked devastated.

"And what if I did?" I asked.

"You would still be you. It wouldn't change anything." He sputtered.

"Nice save," I laughed.

"I think being a redhead suits you. It makes you a little different."

I told Liam it was to protect the pin curls so they don't frizz. "You don't have to worry about me dying my hair until I start going white. I've never died my hair. It's my natural colour."

Liam's lip twitched. "I've noticed." He said.

I could have died.

On Thursday morning, I skipped the gym for obvious reasons, showered carefully so as not to wet my hair and started to get ready. I packed my bag and packed a bag for Perrin with his bed, crate, and food. I did a quick run through the shops to the dressmaker to pick the dress up from the dressmaker and to buy underwear for the dress. I didn't need a bra, but I wasn't going without underpants.

In the morning, I pottered, waiting for lunchtime to arrive and for Liam to finish his half-day at work. I was so jittery I had dropped my coffee this morning, and the mug had smashed. Not having anything to do and waiting for hours made it all worse. I had to do something, so I painted my nails and watched Kill Bill Vol. 1.

The story took me over, and soon I was transported with the action and exceptional dialogue. I decided the only person who could convince me to be an actor would be Quentin. I even went and got out my "Written and Directed by Quentin Tarantino" hoodie for added comfort. When it was over, I did feel a little better and whistling the song from the movie, I got Perrin and went to Liam's.

By the time I got to Liam's house, the nerves had come back. I found it hard to concentrate and almost just walked Perrin into the backyard. I sighed and put Perrin on his leash and texted Liam that I was here, and walked to the park with Perrin. We had planned a way to introduce the dogs during the week. The snag was I had agreed to it before I knew about the hair situation. But I found an old bucket hat of Andy's that fit and hid most of my head. I still felt ridiculous, but at least the hat somewhat normal.

When I saw Liam, my heart leapt. I wanted to run to him, have him hold me, soothe away all the pain of the last week and fear of tonight. But we had to introduce the dogs first.

We walked to each other as Perrin and Cole had a little sniff of each other. There was no immediate dislike.

"Hello, Sweetheart." His voice took my breath away.

"Hi," I said.

"Cute hat."

"Arse." I was smiling, though.

"I've missed you," he smiled broadly.

I gave him a small smile.

Liam farrowed his eyebrows. "These two look like they are ok," he said. "Let's go for a walk, shall we?"

I nodded, and Liam leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before we started to walk. We went side by side, keeping the dogs apart. Liam put his arm around my shoulder.

"You're very quiet this afternoon," he said after a few minutes.

"I'm nervous."

"About the dogs or tonight?" He asked. "Or something else?"

"Tonight." I felt like a petulant child with all these short remarks, but I couldn't give him anymore just yet. I let my head rest on his shoulder to try to let him know he wasn't the reason I was acting distant.

Liam squeezed me. "You'll be ok. You're going to be dressed beautifully and appropriately. No one is going to laugh at you. You'll see. Myra and Boyd are all excited to meet you. This is Myra's boyfriends first red carpet, too, so you won't be the only virgin." He paused and chuckled. "Although, I had better keep you two apart. He's a sparky? I think that's the word. I don't want him stealing you away from me. I know how much you love tradies."

I laughed. Liam had said all the right things in a few moments, and I felt calm again. At least calm enough that I can have a conversation. "Thanks, Liam," I said and kissed his cheek.

We walked for about half an hour. The dogs walked together for a bit. Perrin, being so old, was pretty laid back about the whole thing and Cole, while curious, just seemed happy to be making a new friend.

When we got back to Liam's house, we let them leashes off, and Perrin had a sniff around the yard. Cole either followed behind him or bounced around in front of him as if he were saying, "come look at this place over here."

While Perrin explored, Liam stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes a moment, listening to the sounds of the city.

"You're such a good hugger," I told Liam as I turned around in his arms and put my arms around his neck. I buried my face into his shirt, seeking his warmth and familiar scent.

"A compliment. From you? With no sarcasm?" Liam teased. "It must be my lucky day."

"Just shut up and kiss me," I said, and I lifted my head to meet his. Our kisses were soft at first, but they became more than that very quickly.

Liam pulled away and said, "we aren't alone. Ryan is here." Liam suggested that Ryan stay with the dogs while we were out. He would be back on Sunday and Monday, too, to take Cole for a walk and play.

I sighed. "Riza will be here soon anyway. We better get these guys inside and settled."

We took the dogs inside and got them set up. Then and I met Ryan, who was working in Liam's study. I don't know what I expected from Ryan, but a Scottish Hercules was not it. He was at least as large as Liam, had dark hair and green eyes and although he paled in comparison to Liam, he was handsome and instantly likeable.

We shook hands, and he said, "it's nice to meet you, Lana. I've heard a lot about you, so it's nice to put a face to the name." His accent was noticeable but not thick, and he spoke with a confident calmness that must be essential in his job. He doesn't mention or look at my scarf, which is a relief. I smiled and said, "Same. I keep hearing all these names, so it's nice to meet finally."

Liam gets me to put Ryans number in my phone. He said I should call Ryan if I need to contact him if he's not reachable while filming. I look at Ryan, and he nods as he says, "it's my job."

I do it, but I roll my eyes. He's not my assistant.

We let Ryan get back to work, and we go out to my car to bring my stuff in. By the time I've set up Perrin's things and sorted out my put my bags away, Riza and Jen arrive.

Liam opened the door for them, and Riza stood stunned for a moment. "Damn, you're built like a brick shithouse." Riza was very petite, half a head shorter than me, so you'd think she'd be used to everyone being bigger than her.

Liam, bless his cotton socks, laughed and put his hand out. "You must be Riza."

Riza took his hand, "yeah, mate, how's it going?" Liam stood aside to let her come in. She was hauling a massive makeup case, and Liam offered to take it for her. I thought she would bristle at his offer, but instead, she just gave it to him.

I raised my eyebrows and tilted my head, indicating my surprise. She just shrugged and gave me a strange look, and looked straight back at him. Riza is a pocket rocket type and prefers to be seen as one of the boys a lot of times. Andy even invited her to his bucks weekend despite her being my maid of honour, so the whole interaction was unusual.

Jen came in and introduced herself to Liam, and it was a much more civilised exchange than Riza's.

I gave them both hugs and kisses on the cheek. "Thanks for doing this, Jen and you too, Riza."

"No worries," Riza said.

Liam offered them both some wine and looked at me to see if I wanted one. I agreed, and we all sat in the lounge room.

Riza grabbed my hand when Liam had his back turned, "Sorry Lans, I think I got star struck. I'm a fucking dickhead."

Jen and I laughed at her, and I said, "serves you right for taking the piss out of me last night."

Liam came back with glasses and a bottle of white wine and poured us all a drink before taking a seat next to me. He sat next to me, resting his arm on the lounge behind me and put his ankle on his knee. His foot bounced, and I looked at him, and it struck me that he was anxious.

I put my hand on his foot to soothe him and turned to Riza and said, "did I tell you that Liam planned a trip to Mt Hotham this winter? I think it was June? Queens Birthday weekend? Before your Mum comes. Anyway, Riza, you spent a few winters there. Got any ideas for some good runs?"

That was it, the two of them talked about skiing, and the tension in the air lifted. I even swapped seats with Riza and sat with Jen for a bit. Once I could tell Liam and Riza were comfortable with each other, I asked Liam where Jen could set up.

Liam said to go to the master on the third, and he went to get up to take us there. I told him Jen, and I could be fine, and he smiled at me and kept talking to Riza. Jen and I smiled at each other and went up to get ready.

Part 19

[biwenqing]

no knead to worry

Sometimes your dads drunk text you pictures of bread~

Inspired by this post of Untamed Texts from Last Night

Teen | Words: 1184 | ao3

"What's that face mean?" Jingyi asked, drawing Sizhui's attention away from his phone.

"My dad just texted me..." Sizhui said, passing the phone over. "I think he's drunk and shopping for... bread?"

Jingyi laughed, passing the phone on to Zizhen while Jin Ling leaned over his shoulder, "Your dads are so cool."

"No they aren't, my uncles are lame as hell," Jin Ling said, though there was a smile playing around his mouth.

"Oh another message came through," Zizhen said and gave a dreamy sigh. "Oh my god, oh my god, both your dads are there! Drunk bread shopping? Can you say relationship goals."

Jingyi snatched the phone back, cackling. "They want to know what kind of bread you want, Sizhui."

Sizhui held out his hand and the phone was put back in it. Sure enough, there were a few more pictures, including one blurry selfie of his dad throwing a peace sign while his baba held up a loaf that looked like a rabbit. He quickly texted back he wanted to bunny bread and then sent a follow-up text reminding them to pay for the bread. Putting his phone in his pocket, he grabbed his controller back up.

"We can play again? Great," Jin Ling said, flipped back to the start menu. "Who's ready to get wrecked on the Rainbow Road, motherfuckers!"

Auntie Yanli shouting, "Language!" from somewhere in the house sent them all laughing while Jin Ling huffed in annoyance.

***

"A-Yuan says he wants the bunny bread!" Wei Ying said, skipping over to Lan Zhan. It was late, so there weren't many people. The few employees were too tired to care that he and his husband may have had some beverages before deciding to go shopping, as long as they behaved themselves.

For Lan Zhan, some beverages meant maybe half a glass of wine. The little grocery store around the corner from their home had been his focused destination, though Wei Ying wasn't entirely sure as to why until Lan Zhan asked him to send pictures of the bread to Sizhui.

Lan Zhan nodded, picked the bread back up, and began to move towards the door. Wei Ying snagged his elbow, laughing as he saw Sizhui's next text. "He also wants to remind us to pay for the bread."

Lan Zhan frowned, looking down at his hands. "Why would he say that?"

"Because you're always one glass of wine away from petty theft," Wei Ying giggled, reaching into Lan Zhan's back pocket to pull out his wallet. "Come on, let's pay for this and then get home. I have I feeling you will be crashing soon." Wei Ying, after all, had over a decade of experience with his husband's tolerance (or lack thereof) to alcohol and Lan Zhan followed a pretty predictable pattern.

"Mhm," Lan Zhan sighed, but let himself be led over to the cashier. Wei Ying recognized her.

"Hi a-Qing! This your summer job?" Wei Ying smiled as she accepted the bread Lan Zhan handed her.

"Yes, my fathers thought it would be "good experience."" She managed the air quotes even as she scanned the bread. Wei Ying was impressed. "But I didn't want to work at the co-op they always shop at."

"Of course not, that'd be embarrassing." Wei Ying nodded seriously, trying to stop his grin at predictable teenage behavior. He opened Lan Zhan's wallet that was still in his possession and pulled out the needed cash to pass it over.

Xiao Qing shrugged, opening the register and counting out the change in a bored manner. "Here. You want a receipt?"

"Nah, I think we're good." Wei Ying grabbed the bread with one hand, his husband's elbow with the other before Lan Zhan could try and buy (or steal) the Peeps he was now eyeing. "Thanks! Say hi to your fathers for us!"

Lan Zhan followed as Wei Ying let them out into the warm evening. It was beautiful, still smelling slightly of the rain that had been falling hours earlier. Lan Zhan almost started heading away from their home, before Wei Ying tugged him back towards him.

"Come on, let's get you to bed," Wei Ying said, moving to take Lan Zhan's hand and pressing a kiss to the back of his knuckles.

"Want to wait for a-Yuan," Lan Zhan protested and pouted.

"You know it's a Friday night, he'll probably just ask to sleep at a-Ling's because then Shijie will spoil him and make her famous pancakes in the morning," Wei Ying pointed out. "We can save the bread for his lunch."

Lan Zhan hummed in agreement, accepting Wei Ying's argument. He swung their hands slightly and was now distracted by this. It wasn't long till they were home, the little place they bought together a few years after adopting a-Yuan. Wei Ying carefully guided them around the flowerpots filled with vegetable plants on the front step and through the front door.

Wei Ying gently deposited Lan Zhan on the couch before going into their kitchen to place the bread and get some water. Helping Lan Zhan drink most of the glass, he was surprised when his husband tugged him onto his lap, pressing his face into Wei Ying's shoulder.

"Going to fall asleep right here?" Wei Ying asked softly, setting the cup aside. He pressed a kiss to the top of Lan Zhan's hair before reaching up and gently taking out the ribbon holding it back.

"Mmm," was the sleepy response. "Missed you."

"While I went to get water?" Wei Ying chuckled but began to run his fingers through Lan Zhan's hair.

"Mph. Your laugh is like a lullaby," was his husband's response before Lan Zhan drifted asleep.

Wei Ying stayed where he was for a moment longer, before carefully standing. Picking Lan Zhan up and carrying him was made a little easier as Lan Zhan curled closer to Wei Ying's warmth. Placing Lan Zhan in their bed, Wei Ying crawled in as well before Lan Zhan could start reaching for him. Pulling the blanket over them both, Wei Ying happily became entangled with his husband before falling asleep himself.

***

Sizhui quietly slipped into the house, waving at Auntie Yanli as she waited in her car to let her know he was good. He found the kitchen light still on, the warmth spilling into the hall. Sure enough, there was the loaf of rabbit-shaped bread, set down on the table next to Dad's keys. Turning off any other lights and making sure the door was locked, he headed to his room.

"A-Yaun, is that you?" He heard as he tried to tiptoe past his parents' room.

"Yes, I'm home," Sizhui said, peaking in the door.

"What time is it?" Dad asked. Baba was clearly sound asleep, his back to the door.

"Almost 11, I’m back before curfew," Sizhui assured with a smile.

"What a rebel, home before curfew after spending the evening at your cousin's," Dad’s laughter was sleepy. “Glad you’re home safe.”

"Me too,” Sizhui said before pulling the door closed behind himself. “Night!”

"Night a-Yuan, love you! Sweet dreams of your bunny bread!"

[jordanas-diary]

As 2020 comes to a close, this is probably the first time in a few years, that I have not properly reflected on the year that was and well, I have decided that whatever I have come up with I will post at midnight (side note: I have started this at 10pm on 31/12/2020 and why tf are there fireworks already? we still have 2 hours people ... ). 

First and foremost, fuck you 2020. You really said “it ain’t happening this year” which honestly, sucks balls. But all we could do, was continue on whilst our complaints fell upon your deaf ears. There were times when I really thought things were getting better, but then something else went wrong and it was all messed up again. 

Many a time, I found myself looking to one of my favourite Dumbledore quotes:

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” 

And I thought on it every time things seemed to be getting overwhelming, and I did not believe that there was a way to complete an assignment, or be prepared for a test, or finish my work, or just take some time out for myself in a crowded household during lockdown. This picture above helped me continuously search for that light when I felt like the darkness was too much [although it was a constant reminder that I would not be spending my Christmas and New Years in Europe but ... more on that later]. 

Oh lord, that reminds me ... goddamn did I really mess up my GPA in 2020. Studying from home did not insight any form of motivation to study, to complete assignments on time, or to a high standard. I genuinely put myself in this position. 2021 is a new year, and a year to f o c u s and put university before work - and there lies my fault, putting work first. Yes, I was getting paid good money. Yes, I was working for the New Zealand government at the ripe age of 20 - however, that should not have taken precedence over my academic record. 

2020 also made me spend more time with myself - especially spiritually and in my mind and thoughts. This was scary, a very scary place to be. Still waiting for that proverbial “enlightenment” to be honest. Will it come? I’ll keep y’all updated. Too scary, Jordana no want to exposure herself lol. 

As I sit in my room, watching David Attenborough’s Blue Planet II documentary (and fkn sweating bc it’s too bloody hot right now) to ring in 2021, I am reminded that had COVID not happened, I would most likely be in München for the new year. Europe was where I was meant to be spending Christmas and New Years, with friends and family, and getting p i s s e d. BUT! I must be thankful for the fact that I have the opportunity to go out, drink in pubs and bars, see friends and family, shake hands with people, hug my loved ones. Bless New Zealand and how our Government responded to this virus. Thank you aunty Jacinda, Dr. uncle Ashley Bloomfield and cousin Adam Wendt (honestly GOOGLE THIS MAN HE IS AMAZING) for all your hard work over the New Zealand lockdown period - the 1pm updates literally kept our country going for those 4-6 weeks of being at home. Thank you for enabling this country to now be in the position that it’s in where we can travel, visit family and hang out with friends. 

2020 has been a year of big learnings, moments to be thankful for, and new passions (hehe). I have learned: - To accept the fact that sometimes getting it done is better than failing [but at what cost - that I shall discover when I attempt to search for a Masters programme]  - That more people believe in me than I would have ever believed, and that’s more pressure than I would have expected - The ocean is something that is required to maintain balance in my life - without it, I wouldn’t know where my safe place would be  - That it is better to live for those who helped you get to where you are, rather than mourn them for an extended period of time. it is highly likely they’d rather you’d get on with it than waste time - though this is a lot easier said than done - Making new friends is scary and I am not one that is good at establishing conversations , but 100% please message me to talk - am not scary just a lot more shy than I realised I promise <3 I am thankful: - To my family and friends for being able to celebrate my 21st birthday with me [I really didn’t want anything but y’all came through with a surprise party that a girl could only wish to have] - For my best friend and how, despite the amount of time we spend apart, when we are together time rolls back to 2012 and we’re the carefree trio we’ve always - To my marine lecturer for being the most understanding and lenient professor when it came to my many, many family commitments New passions? - Football? Football. Loves me some FC Bayern München men, with some Juventus and Liverpool and a hint of whatever else I feel like.  - Oof journalling has become a big part of my life - I spend so much time writing a bunch of shit, that I probably need to start writing more for reflection purposes than just me having a laugh lol - F1. She happened about 2-3 weeks ago, when I started watching Drive to Survive and started seeing all these drivers popping up on my dash. Naturally, I put two and two together, and got handsome men with some juicy drama which a girl loves.

So ... what is Jordana taking into 2021? Pride, and dignity. Hopefully not the same shit I’ve carried into the previous 3 years lol. Let us hope that next year contains positive vibes, healthy mind, body, spirit and fish, and motivation for an improved GPA lol. 

I want to wish you and your families all a safe and healthy 2021. Hopefully the COVID situation wherever you’re living improves, and life returns to some semblance of familiarity soon. 

[punkscowardschampions]

America & Libi

America: This is gonna sound thirsty as hell cos it is 👌 America: your boyfriend's friend, Sean America: do I have a shot? Libi: 😂 Thirst away, I know he would be SO flattered Libi: Bobby isn't MY boyfriend, but that's by the by and so not why you're in my inbox right now Libi: well, he isn't dating anyone, that I know of, I'll ask Bobby to confirm but I'm like 99% sure Libi: and of course he thinks you're cool, you guys would be a sweet match America: He ISN'T? I thought - never.mind 🤫 America: anywayyy America: did he say I was cool? LOL yeah I really feel it now Libi: Everyone says that, don't worry Libi: we're just best friends Libi: Awh, don't be silly! I'm not going to go tell him word for word Libi: like that's not an exact quote but I know the few times we've hung out all together he's had a good time, specifically hanging out with you America: if you're gay I'm like really sorry for getting your hopes up with my thirsty opener! America: Sean does not deserve that quick of a U-turn from me Libi: Not, so you're totally cool and not on the gay girl shit-list Libi: not for this anyway, I don't know who is, officially Libi: He talked about your party for AGES after Libi: even though that got cut short 😕 did you get in so much trouble? America: The reaction from my sister alone would be reason to do it but I don't think I can commit that hard to you & that idea America: maybe if Sean says no America: I hope he didn't say anything about that part of the party when he was talking about it or I'll have to go crawl in a hole America: or bury my mam's boyfriend in one America: did you get to have any fun? I literally don't remember seeing you when we left your house Libi: Well, she is my biggest fan Libi: who's 💔 is theoretically worse, hers or mine rn? Libi: Just what we were all thinking Libi: which was that we thought that guy might keel over if he didn't 🤐 sooner rather than later Libi: so I'm glad you're already making funeral plans though not because that must suck Libi: no, we had a good time, lost in the crowd seems like the answer America: Jake is the only one with any power to 💖✂ her, don't worry, & she's my biggest fan for pointing out on the regs he's a waste of unblemished skin America: we were making all kinds of plans before she got 🍆💫 America: guess I'm on my own with keeping the good times coming ➜ Libi: 🤨 I'm not sure I've heard him say anything interesting before Libi: It's usually a lot of posing and preening, right Libi: but who am I to judge America: 🤣 I'm on the classroom floor rolling America: neither of them are looking for intellectual stimulation from each other Libi: 😅 Apologies to your teacher Libi: I'll pretend my 😳 is paint America: Miss visibly wants to get me diagnosed with something, it's a long-running thing we have going Libi: Like it makes them any more equipped to deal when they have a name for something Libi: must be a funding issue Libi: but that's a rant for another day 🤓 America: Sean is gonna have his work cut out now America: get your not boyfriend to tell him, game on, but he's in competition with you Libi: I'll go easy on him 😉 Libi: oh, and he is 100% single and 100% tried to read that message so America: misbehaviour puts him back in the 🏃 Libi: Damn Libi: Would helping you have a meet-cute with him bizarrely help my case? America: how cute? sharing in my sister's delusions is a turn off Libi: I don't think he's that kind of guy Libi: BUT it would not be weird for me to bring you along to hang with my not boyfriend and it wouldn't be any weirder if he asked Sean, casually America: which means what I've been thinking about him is right America: & you don't have to be disqualified for trying to drag me into some fake paradise where everyone is in love with themselves Libi: I mean, like all boys Libi: or most, I would be asked to ** in Libi: he talks a bigger game than he has, but I mean that in the best possible way, honestly Libi: he's nicer than he can sometimes sound, you know what I mean? America: me too, I hope Libi: You sound nice Libi: thirst and all America: I scared you away before, couldn't let that happen before I got what I wanted from you Libi: No, that was your mum's fella Libi: I promise Libi: I'm just not a party pro America: that's what I mean, before at your 🏠 I could tell you two were out of your depth Libi: I hope you didn't take it as a personal, you and your party thing though America: it wasn't my party Libi: Sorry, no doubt she'd be 😤 over my lack of distinction there Libi: you know what I mean America: I'm just a guest that she didn't really want there, like you Libi: I don't get the whole sibling thing Libi: only child perk and curse, I guess Libi: but I'm not anti-party or anti-you, for the record Libi: just less initiated America: & I'm not anti-anyone cos Chi is, putting that on the record while we're stating facts Libi: Fair enough 🤝 Libi: I don't take it personally from her, also btw Libi: how she has been about Bobs, moreso but that's not on you so like ❌ America: she acts like she burst out of her crib knowing how to do a smoky eye & what shots she liked best America: you've got time to get initiated if you want to America: & yeah, I know she's a dick about anyone not in her ⬛ of perceived coolness Libi: I've got very little shame in how far away from a smoky eye I was as a kid 😂 Libi: She's not the only one Libi: ⬛ are boring Libi: more boring than I probably seemed that night Libi: 🤞 America: I thought you were just 😍💖 America: that's a lot of people in my life right now though so that's probably why Libi: Oh God, you do not need to tell me Libi: I feel like EVERYONE is suddenly, it's wild America: & now me jumping into your inbox America: what's in the water? Libi: I'm sure the Bio teachers are screaming hormones right now Libi: 😬 gross but true America: Whatever the reason, I didn't mean to contribute to the 💖💣 in your face Libi: You're so beyond fine Libi: not anti-love Libi: or a nun America: you'd be in luck if you were, we aren't calling this love Libi: 😍💖? Libi: Gotcha America: interest America: the 1st I've broadcast Libi: Worth pursuing Libi: I hope I've helped confirm, anyway America: maybe we'll end up just friends like you & Bobby or < America: but I think he's worth pursuing Libi: no harming in 👀 or trying, right America: for the right people Libi: I'll drink to that Libi: not right RIGHT now though because that is paintbrush water and I've made that mistake before 🤢 America: vivid flashbacks to your pre-party drinking face America: shock & disgust Libi: Oh nooooooo 😭 Libi: really sold myself as life of the 🥳 Libi: 😂🙄 America: It wasn't any different for me, if you'd be there to see it Libi: No one is doing it for the taste yet are they Libi: I refuse to believe America: I don't think anyone's doing it for the taste ever America: wine or whiskey snobs only wanna show off America: & that's grown adults Libi: My granddad would be so offended 😅 America: If he wants to try & change my mind, I'll come over Libi: Sounds fun Libi: but also like a potential way for him to lose his license so maybe we'll keep it between us America: Why can't he use his words without bringing the 🍷🥃? America: it's like those people who are all about how 🌶🌶🌶 or rare something is America: you wish you were 💪 we understand Libi: I didn't know you just wanted a debate but that's cool too Libi: come over any time, like America: it's off the table at my house America: he'll start blowing a whistle & stop all verbal communication soon America: not a nun either so I assume I won't be into it Libi: Yikes, he should try getting a 🐶 or two Libi: even then, probably be disappointed, soz America: I'll pitch the idea as long as it ends in disappointment Libi: if he doesn't love puppies you know he's not the one America: I know that about him already America: What's Sean's stance? Libi: Good question Libi: I shall 💬 America: don't lie to score points yourself, I'll find out Libi: [so many dog pictures which clearly aren't just her and Killer but her and Twix and Bobby too] Libi: ➕ America: OMG Libi: Yeah 😎 Libi: they're old ladies now but they were puppies once [a throwback we just have] America: Miss is gonna live for this U-turn from 🤣 to 🥺 America: name that personality disorder, bitch Libi: Looking like a poor taste budget horror Libi: LOVE that America: get my good side with that 📹 of yours Libi: but every personality Libi: Got this 🎬 America: every personality's best bits Libi: I wish I could fix everything in post Libi: life would be so ✨ America: edit out Gary America: make Chi less of a cow America: make my other sister reappear Libi: So wild to me how your sister used to be 'round my grandma's at the same time I was and I really can only just remember those days Libi: what is she up to now? America: 😍💖 Libi: Ah Libi: of course Libi: like everyone else in the world America: but you know, with a rented flat & office job Libi: The grown-ups version Libi: I feel you America: I don't know what the fuck we're calling what my mam is playing at America: but yeah, give my sister more grown up points than that Libi: How long has he been on the scene, Gary? America: too long LOL America: but that'd be 1 date in his case Libi: I can't imagine how awkward that must be when it's your mum and your house Libi: it's bad enough when a friend or an auntie or something dates a dickhead America: she's dated fuckwits for as long as she's dated America: but they don't usually see a month in Libi: I'll 🤞 he's gone sooner rather than later America: Thanks Libi: You're okay, right? Libi: That might be weird to ask America: I guarantee it's weirder to answer Libi: You don't have to, that was out of line Libi: but if you wanted to, I wanted to give you the chance, even though all I can do is listen Libi: but we can as easily leave it America: I'm 👌 in the sense that he's probably not gonna murder us all in our beds Libi: That's always something America: but if your grandad decides to leave your nan, I'm down to move in & have nightly debates Libi: It's been nearly 60 years so Libi: he's either overdue or change or you're out of luck Libi: but you're still invited to come crash when you need America: unless Sean makes me a better offer, you win Libi: Of course, of course America: unlikely, I can't really open with please rescue me Libi: Might be a bit strong Libi: but the spare room doesn't come with any of those connotations America: Can I have the dog too? Libi: She'll have to decide for herself, it would be rude for me to Libi: but she's pretty chill as long as you give her treats or attention so it's likely America: What's her name? Libi: Killer Libi: I did not name her America: 😶 I don't really get to say anyone's got a shit name anyway Libi: What's in a name, the English teachers will chime in America: music teacher would probably say a lot Libi: **harmonize it, please America: [does as if we're not fully in class rn] Libi: Brava! 👏 Libi: so much better than whatever 'painting' I've managed this lesson, whoops America: that'll be my L to take for not shutting up America: sorry to your 🎨 Libi: We'll all survive, even if this not-masterpiece does not 🗑 Libi: painting is not my thing anyway America: I never got prime fridge real estate America: as an only child, you would Libi: Only child, technically, but my grandparents have ALL the grandkids, so it didn't always work out like that America: my nan has the same favourite as my mam so 🤷 America: consistency 🎊🎉 Libi: I don't need 3 guesses Libi: why is it Libi: is she most like them or what America: 👼 America: blue eyed, blonde haired fucking wonder America: my entire family IS that shallow Libi: Well I can say blue eyes are overrated and you can say blonde hair is America: skipping over the 🚩 of taking German when my family are basically neo-Nazis Libi: will have to get you out of my DMs stealth if that one rings true Libi: no negotiating America: I don't want to do the cliché plea of how different I am but like, in this instance, it holds up Libi: I'll hear it America: how does a girl prove she's not a Nazi around here? 💭 Libi: 😂 Can you prove/disprove a negative is a big 💭 Libi: too big for before lunch, I think America: Gary's existence proves a negative Libi: 📢🔥 Libi: He felt that America: 💖✂ Libi: If that's the order of the day, I'm not mad Libi: have played cupid once here so America: What about you? Libi: What about me? America: There's absolutely no 😍💖? Libi: Oh, nah Libi: not right now 🤷 America: Then you probably can't answer my kissing questions America: I think that practising on my hand has to be movie propaganda but pretending it'll be perfect & I won't 🤤 all over anyone has to be too Libi: I could try Libi: I've had some but maybe not recently enough to experience counts? America: this close to picking up a 🎸 & opening the floor for them but my sister would KILL me Libi: and Miss would fully be staging an intervention before you could get any decent ones America: even though she's literally a teacher & I'm asking to be taught something Libi: The hypocrisy 😏 Libi: I think the less you think about it the easier it is Libi: which is such non-advice I know America: 👌 have a drink & just do it Libi: lowkey, yeah Libi: nerves never help a performance, right Libi: sure your teacher would have to agree on that one America: Did I agree to putting on a show for him? 👌 I see how it is Libi: 😲 Libi: not what I meant America: No? Libi: I mean, do what you wanna Libi: but not sure he warrants that much effort yet America: 🤣 America: I hope he didn't feel that 💖✂ Libi: It's not shade so it's okay Libi: I covered that he's nice before I went there 🙃 America: Did he go out with Michelle? Libi: Our sources say yes Libi: couple of months America: A couple of months seriously or casually? You were there Libi: I think he thought it was more serious than it was Libi: but I don't think he's looking for that America: & they're 100% over, no hang ups Libi: Totally America: cos she seems cool, I'm not trying to start something Libi: She's chill Libi: he's a free agent Libi: and he's interested too, for sure America: the interrogation can stop 🎊🎉 it's not making me look very chill Libi: I'll never tell Libi: plus you've distracted me from a boring lesson so it's okay Libi: a favour, really America: I can tell you're an only child America: my sisters would use anything I said or did or almost said or did against me if they can Libi: Damn, should I be keeping these in my backpocket? America: realistically Libi: SO bad at this Libi: I'm a slightly better friend 🤞 America: Being somewhere in the middle of a total dick & and a good friend, I'm not the right person to help you get better at either America: partying though America: if you ever want Libi: It would be useful Libi: not gonna lie Libi: as you got what you wanted, like America: I'll knock for you Libi: 👍 Bobby can come too, right? America: yeah, he can join in too America: I won't insist that he kisses me but pitch the idea Libi: I'll 🏏 America: There's always something going on, even with my house being not enough like a morgue but simultaneously too much like a morgue Libi: Halloween isn't the only time for costume parties 👻🧛👽🤖 America: I knew I fucked with you Libi: 😏 Libi: people who think costume parties suck have 0 imagination America: or only wanna look a certain way Libi: that too Libi: heaven forbid you have fun and don't just sit there 😘 America: if Chi didn't feel that, I'll be the one 💖✂ Libi: you can always say it yourself and take credit Libi: on me America: ghost writer, there's a costume in that America: she doesn't just sit there honestly, but it's not about having fun, she'll do fucking anything but it's to keep everyone looking at her Libi: I guess that accounts for some of it Libi: Middle child syndrome is a costume too Libi: if a little abstract America: Favourite child too, but she's got too much wear out of that one as is Libi: No repeats America: worse crimes have been committed than tiara recycling Libi: Maybe Libi: but it's close America: you've got jokes America: I don't think you really need me to teach you anything to be fun at 🥳 America: I predict some kind of 📹 prank is about to happen to me Libi: If youtube pranks are still fun and cool, I'm gonna have to ❌ that because yikes Libi: I just, there's a lot of it that everyone else does that I don't see the point to Libi: for me, anyway America: You don't have to do things that everyone else is doing Libi: Technically Libi: I don't think everyone else is the PSA enabler friend/peer pressure pusher or anything Libi: but it does other you if you don't join in, to a degree, with a lot of it America: 👌 so when we get to your limit, stop me Libi: Okay Libi: but don't go easy just because this all makes me sound about 7 America: Miss wouldn't have oppositional defiant disorder on her diagnosis checklist if I went easy on anyone Libi: 😂 Libi: She's really gone through psychology today yeah America: she's clearly so bored America: & wishing she had talent to scout America: I literally can't have that cos I don't see teachers as authority figures in the first place Libi: Delusions of grandeur ✔ for her America: 🤣 America: sorry you can't control me bitch, call Gary & compare notes Libi: Maybe Gary should bring in his CV America: we'd both love to see more of each other Libi: Of course Libi: and he's the ideal candidate for hapless teacher #46 who can't control their class America: if he ended up 🤯 my mam would 😍😗 the little neck stump America: she's that far gone Libi: Again, I only have experience by-proxy Libi: but that usually ends up 🤯 everything else Libi: so I 👂 America: You heard right in my experience America: my da's got enough left of him to sign a cheque, I picture him like that Adam's family hand Libi: [does the clicks in a boomerang type thing] America: nailed it! Libi: You know Libi: didn't want to be the girl who makes everything about her dead parents Libi: but arguably I'm the proof of everything going 🤯 so I do know a little bit about it America: Shit sorry! I forgot Libi: Don't be Libi: it's good it's not like, forefront of the facts you can recall on me, if anything America: I know what you mean, from a family of attention seeking whores isn't how I like to advertise myself Libi: I'm sure I could make a claim for that title too according to the masses Libi: but neither of us need to 📢 America: send my apologies to Sean if that's what he was expecting America: I do need attention but it doesn't have to be sexual specifically, as Miss can testify Libi: I should HOPE she can America: She plays hard to get, for all her therapizing Libi: She in the 🏃? America: only in the fantasy land she's created Libi: Bless her Libi: any way to kill the day is this place's motto, I think America: 🎼 school song if I do some more harmonising 🎹 Libi: 🌹👏 America: Due credit to you & your ideas America: I couldn't be happier it's not a 😍💖 song Libi: Likewise Libi: so it's worth it and you're welcome Libi: I can give Sean your number, I presume? America: & any screenshots you've taken as mean girl practice Libi: Only the worst bits, obvs Libi: 😘 America: my ugliest sides 👺👺 America: Still not a nazi btw, I just realised the 👃 and brows are a bit anti-Jewish propaganda Libi: 🤔 What if you realizing that is racist though? Libi: conundrum America: well fuck Libi: Hypothetically though Libi: goes a bit beyond mean girl territory to accuse you of racism/fascism America: slightly yeah Libi: thus I would NEVER Libi: 😎 only America: you've seen Gary so you know my hatred isn't rooted in anything racist there America: 🎊🎉 Libi: Can back you up there Libi: nothing but warranted and fair America: Thanks Libi: Has he 💬 yet or is he playing it cool? America: Cool or his teacher is a dick 📴 America: hopefully he's not in a lesson with my sister, that'll turn him off Libi: Not ideal Libi: She's probably changed all her classes to match Jake's, right? America: 🤮 Libi: Too real America: the upside of Gary's regime is that I don't have to see Jake at my house on the regs Libi: Upside? Libi: That's the WHOLE appeal America: 👏 You're not one of the 'everybody' Chi thinks is obsessed with him 🎊🎉 Libi: I don't even know him, in reality Libi: so I probably shouldn't 💬 on him but the only times I've heard him speaking he's been being dismissive or rude so Libi: meh America: Nobody knows him in reality, they live a bubble 🏰👑 America: but when you party, you'll get to know him America: what a fuckwit he happily presents himself as Libi: 😰 Libi: as long as that's in the bottom 3 of the experience, not top, then it won't put me off the 🥳 as a whole America: don't worry, you're too pretty to have to hear the full 💯 Libi: ❓❓❓ America: I just mean, he'll frame it like a compliment for you, so it'll be easier to take or brush off Libi: Compliments don't mean much when they come from an arsehole Libi: 🤷 America: I know Chi didn't feel that Libi: We've all got our taste, I guess Libi: or lackthereof Libi: I'm making myself sound more and more like a nun by the minute America: Not gonna insist that you prove you're not Libi: 🤞 it'll become clear Libi: obvious lack of habit aside America: Excellent wordplay Libi: Do my best Libi: though as it's art, not english, probably not appreciated by anyone but you rn America: Graffiti is words a lot of the time & that's art Libi: That's a good point Libi: I'll have to see if he goes for it America: Good luck Libi: Do you like high school so far? America: maybe that's supposed to be a weirder question than if I'm okay, but I lowkey do like it Libi: Me too 🙃 Libi: Primary was really boring by the end America: I thought everyone would treat me like a giant baby but I've made so many cool older friends already America: & I refuse to give my sister credit for them ALL Libi: Yeah, I thought the same thing Libi: apart from the usual dickheads being like that to everyone whatever the reason, everyone's been pretty chill Libi: and it's nice that we have SOME say over what we take now, instead of just doing a bit of everything America: My even older sister, from your flashbacks, made this place seem really different America: in a bad way Libi: SAME Libi: not your older sister, that would be random Libi: my aunties and stuff made it sound like literal HELL though America: She is a LOL random type, honestly, I'd believe it Libi: 😂 Libi: No DM slides from either sister, we're 👌 America: that'll happen when she finds out you pimped me to Sean Libi: 😬 Libi: well when you put it like THAT America: jk she hasn't threatened anyone on my behalf since everyone was over my OUTRAGEOUS lies about who my da was & I got doxxed to prove how 🥱 he is America: Primary really did get boring by the end Libi: Like I said, no imagination America: what was your favourite lie of mine? Everyone's got one Libi: 🤔 Libi: Long haul lorry driver Libi: because it seemed the most realistic so everyone thought that one was true America: I tripped myself up when I added he witnessed that 🚽 murder Libi: Right Libi: and then suddenly it was all along route 66 Libi: 👎 America: it was a better naming story than my mam's real reasons, I stand by that Libi: Was she a big traveller or wishes she was? America: this would be the PERFECT time for an elaborate lie Libi: Feel free America: you're expecting it now Libi: Suppose that does take away most of the fun Libi: Everyone thought I made up all the stuff about my parents too America: Why didn't you? Libi: That's the thing, probably would've been more comfortable for everyone if I did, honestly Libi: guess the details made it seem unbelievable enough but it just didn't cross my mind, really Libi: I was just wanting to 💬 about them all the time when I was little America: I remember that! Not saying you inspired me to become a pathological liar with how cool it all sounded though America: I probably wouldn't even if Chi hadn't be so mad you gatecrashed her birthday party Libi: 😏 See, can't say I couldn't hang America: she'll still try to but she's said worse Libi: To be expected America: like a text from Sean Libi: Let's not get it twisted though Libi: not excited for it America: 😐 is me Libi: What emoji can I be/ America: 🥳 when I'm done with you, bitch Libi: 😂 I accept America: ask your not boyfriend when he's down & slide into my dms Libi: I will Libi: You can hit up Sean and ask him when he hits you up, finally Libi: I think he's gonna hit you up just after lunch Libi: to show he's casual America: 🐁🐈 America: I'll resist the urge to throw myself at him before then America: to show I understand how this all works Libi: Very mature Libi: or actually, not, but we have to get down to boy's levels America: he's about at our level right now, I think that's how the age gap works Libi: That's fair Libi: there's a lot of lads who still think we're diseased or are more interested in whatever game they are rn America: yeah, I don't know how much he knew about me before we met but there's no escaping that we only just got here America: an age based lie isn't happening Libi: No, that's not working Libi: I don't think you need to lie though Libi: he clearly wants to get to know you more too or I'd be awkwardly letting you down right now, right America: unless you're either too nice to do it or mean enough to want to see me make a twat of myself Libi: 🧐 Libi: Have to see, but I am neither, for the record America: catch me on the rebound 🕷🕸 Libi: All part of the plan America: I'll partner up with you in PE, give you a chance to make your move America: the seating plan'll fuck you over for the rest America: really would look like a nazi if I force Bekah to give up her seat for me like I'm your new BFFL America: 💖💣 Libi: Maybe we don't bring up the 2nd N word around her, like Libi: otherwise she's gonna be cool America: 👌 I'll 🤫 America: no casual German dropped into the conversation Libi: You wanna sit next to each other in German though Libi: the boy I sat next to is 🥱😴 America: The boy I sit next to did fall asleep recently so yeah America: I need to know if I'm 🥱 or he's 😴 & it's not about me Libi: 👋 It's a date Libi: 😘 jk America: they do like it when we roleplay America: 💐🕯🍷

[pax-2735]

Fanfic: From the Outside

by

Pax_2735

Summary: Five prompts, five days, five stories. Romanogers Week 2018

Notes: Marvel owns everything except the mistakes, so I'd take it as a personal favour if you didn't sue me. There's also a direct quote from an episode of 'The Pretender' - bonus points if you find it.

Day 1: Run Away With Me

Part 1 (post Avengers: AoU)

“So how are you?”

Natasha kept her eyes on her tea mug, only allowing a small smile to lift up the corners of her mouth. Laura Barton was one of very few people on this planet that was able to sneak up on her. Or maybe that was just a testament to her state of mind.

“Fine.”

Laura entered the kitchen and busied herself with pouring a steaming mug of tea, before sitting down in front of Natasha. Her face was smiling even though her eyes were serious as she looked at her. Natasha took that as her cue to elaborate.

“Everyone’s settling down easy enough. We’ve been putting the new recruits through some rough training. We’re still tweaking the new installations a bit, so they’re up to our liking…” Laura’s soft smile stopped her. “What?”

“I wasn’t asking about work and you know it. How are you?”

Natasha allowed herself a soft sigh before taking a sip of her tea, trying to collect her thoughts. She knew what Laura was asking, of course, but it was hard to talk about it when she wasn’t sure herself about what her feelings were on the matter.

“I’m… if I say I’m fine will you drop it?”

Laura shook her head softly before answering. “Clint may let you fly by with that…”

“He doesn’t.”

“Good. That means there’s still hope for him.” Both women shared a laugh before Laura reached across the table to grasp Natasha’s hand. “How are you feeling about things with Bruce?”

Natasha sighed once again. She and Laura may have known each other for years but she was still uncomfortable with this conversation. She wondered, not for the first time, if this ‘girl talk’ stuff was always this awkward or if that was purely on her. “He asked me to run away with him.” She smirked with satisfaction as she felt Laura startle a bit at that.

“I didn’t know things had gone that far.” She squeezed her hand reassuringly. “That has to mean something though, right? That he just needs a little bit of time. That he’ll come back.”

“I told him no.” Natasha squeezed her eyes shut momentarily, remembering the whole conversation. “Not in so many words but… the message got through, I think.” She opened her eyes again, seeing Laura looking back at her deep in thought.

“Why? You obviously like him, why did you turn him down?”

Natasha took another, longer, sip pf her tea. She had been playing with that question for days now, not content with any of the answers so far. Still, she decided to try them on again. Maybe an outside opinion was just what the doctor ordered.

“I couldn’t. I couldn’t walk away from everything. I couldn’t… leave them behind to fend for themselves.” She looked straight into Laura’s eyes, gauging her reaction. “The timing was all off, I guess.”

There was a moment of silence, one that Natasha was sure would stretch on, as they both pondered on the what-ifs of life and choices, but she should have known better. Laura Barton was nothing if not direct. “I call bullshit.”

Natasha was sure the surprise registered on her face as clear as day. “Excuse me?”

“Sorry sweetie, but I call it like I see it and that’s nothing but a bunch of bullshit.” Laura stood up to grab the kettle, refilling Natasha’s cup before settling back down.

“I think you’re spending way too much time with Clint.” The smirk on Natasha’s face was perfectly mirrored by Laura.

“Oh please. The word may be more to his liking, but the sentiment is all mine.” Grabbing Natasha’s hands again, she soldiered on. “There is no right timing. There are no perfect circumstances. When something like that comes up, either you want it or you don’t.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

“Because it is.” She sighed before looking back at Natasha. “Look Tasha, I know you never had it easy. I know this looks and feels a lot more complicated to you than it does to most other people but… just ask yourself this. If the circumstances had been different, would you have left everything behind to go with him?”

This time the silence did stretch on. Laura quietly finished her tea before getting up towards the sink to rinse her mug. Her whisper was so quiet the spy almost missed it. “There’s your answer.”

Natasha tried to casually shrug – a move she was sure she was failing like a pro – before replying. “I always said love is for children.”

“Maybe you’re right.” There was a hint of a smile dancing in Laura’s eyes. “Or maybe the problem wasn’t the situation but the one asking.”

To her credit, Natasha stood perfectly still as the words hit her, even though her eyes narrowed. She knew Laura – and that smile - way too well to know that didn’t sound like a casual you’ll-find-the-right-guy-eventually remark. She only had to wait a second.

“If… or perhaps…”

“Spill it Laura. I’m sure your husband won’t be too happy if I have to beat it out of you.”

Laura just casually waved a hand, completely dismissing the assassin’s threat. “I was just wondering if your answer would still have been the same if it was Steve doing the asking.”

She walked back to the kitchen table and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Natasha’s head, completely ignoring the stunned look on her face. As she reached the door, she turned around to give her friend a gentle look.

“Just think about it ok?”

Part 2 (Post CACW)

A different day, a different kitchen, and Natasha and Laura were once again sitting at the table with mugs. Both had ditched the tea this time though, switching it up to strong coffee with some drops of whatever alcohol was in the bottle Natasha had found inside one of the cupboards. The fallout of the Sokovia Accords had left Clint in a prison and Natasha a fugitive, leading to their current situation – the Barton kids asleep in a bed that wasn’t theirs, as both their mother and Auntie Nat had quickly and efficiently relocated the whole family to one of Clint’s safehouses. The conversation between the two had been scarce, both of them too exhausted and too acutely aware that, come morning, Natasha would have to leave to make sure they remained safe, leaving Laura to fend for herself.

Which is why to say that Natasha was surprised when Laura started talking was an understatement. And even more so at the content of said conversation.

“I still don’t understand why you’re here.”

Natasha couldn’t help it as one of her eyebrows shot up. This was easy, being friends with Laura, and if she was honest with herself it always had been. It was why she was so comfortable just reacting to the other woman instead of checking every little tell, trying not to give anything away. Of course, it was also why Laura Barton could read her like a book – a foreign language book, no doubt, but still. Sometimes being friends with her was a bitch.

“I’m here to help you. But if you’d rather have me gone…”

“Don’t be stupid. You know that’s not what I meant.”

And here we go again, Natasha thought. Girl talk. Goddamit, sometimes she just wished she would have kept Laura Barton at a distance and never become close with the woman. She could be just as infuriating as her husband, although, to his credit and Natasha’s never ending surprise, Clint knew when he should just leave well enough alone. Laura had obviously skipped those classes.

“I don’t understand what happened in Germany.”

She squared her shoulders. “I told you what happened in Germany. Every single detail. Over and over.” Natasha sighed out of sheer exhaustion. “I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“You told me but you didn’t tell me.” Laura was staring intently at her and Natasha couldn’t help it, another eyebrow went up. God, she had to stop doing that.

“Is that supposed to make any sense?”

Laura finished her coffee and stood up, taking both mugs with her to the sink. As she returned to the table, Natasha noticed she had brought the bottle with her and was taking a healthy swig directly from it.

“As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I’m not sure getting drunk would be the wisest course of action right now.”

Laura shrugged before passing her the bottle. “I’m not aiming for drunk but I think we both deserve a little something right now.” Natasha gingerly accepted the bottle. “Can’t argue with that.”

Laura was still watching her with what Natasha normally referred to as her mom look. “Germany.”

“It’s a country in Europe.”

The quick reply was dripping with sarcasm. “Cute. Not funny but cute.” Laura leaned across the table, retrieving the bottle. “You were on Tony’s side. You were the only thing standing between Steve and a clean getaway.”

Despite the alcohol and the weariness in her bones, Natasha was still able to muster up an indignant face. “Hey, I was never on Tony’s side.”

Laura ignored the remark. There was a point to be made here, and if Natasha refused to acknowledge it then she would just have to shove it in her face. “Course not. Because when push came to shove, you chose Steve’s side.” She leaned back in her chair, allowing the silence to stretch on for a few moments before continuing. “Which brings us right back to my earlier question. Why are you here? You knew what would happen when you made that call. You knew they’d come for you. Why didn’t you go with him?”

As soon as the words were out of her mouth Laura regretted them, as she saw Natasha’s shoulders sag slightly and her eyes dart nervously around the dingy kitchen. Vulnerable was not a word one would use to describe Natasha Romanoff but, at that moment, it was the only one at the forefront of Laura’s mind. Her mind wandered to a different conversation, years ago, and she steeled herself for the answer she knew was coming.

“He didn’t ask.”

Part 3 (Post CACW)

She loved Africa.

Maybe it was the heat, unbearable and unforgiving, beating down on her skin and giving it a nice warm glow. Growing up in Russia, God knows she had enough of the cold to last her for the rest of her life. Kenya was probably the most bizarre of all places for her to hide in, which made it absolutely perfect. Who would think to look for a redhead here?

Not that she was still a redhead but still.

She kept her pace relaxed as she watched the rapidly falling twilight. It would be completely dark within the few minutes that would take her to reach her place, a non-descript house in a non-descript neighborhood, where the people were nice and friendly and kept mostly to themselves.

As she approached her front yard, Natasha suddenly stopped. Everything seemed exactly as she had left it, down to the tiny piece of string still hanging from the gate, showing it hadn’t been opened – sometimes the basic tricks were still the best. Still, there was definitely something… off. Maybe it was just a gut reaction.

Or maybe it was the inkling of a shadow by the side of her porch, one that she noticed immediately as she let her eyes do a quick sweep of the place. One that hadn’t been there before. One that she recognized instantly, even as she berated herself for doing so.

She kept her voice deliberately low, knowing that he could hear her just the same. “Stealth isn’t really your thing.”

The shadow moved slightly, before shaking somewhat. Was he laughing? He better not be laughing.

His voice was only slightly higher than hers when he answered. “You’re a hard woman to find.”

“You should see me when I’m really trying.” She could sense he was about to quip back so she raised a hand to stop him. She could see out of the corner of her eye as his shadow moved slightly back as she turned around to greet the couple arriving next door, before slowly making her way across the yard and into the house. It took a mere second before she heard the door closing behind her.

He looked around for a moment, letting the strangeness of the moment ebb by, if only a little. “This is… nice.”

She turned around, giving him a thorough look before answering. “I’m trying out life as an interior decorator.”

He smiled, that warm boyish smile before taking a step towards her. He seemed to hesitate just for a second before wrapping his arms around her. “The world will never know its own loss.”

She laughed before taking a small step back. “How have you been soldier?”

“Good. Surprisingly, given the circumstances but…”

“You look good. I like the beard. Very manly.” She couldn’t help the teasing tone in her voice, and was rewarded when he self-consciently rubbed a hand across his beard before sitting down. He didn’t blush though. Apparently, America’s Golden Boy was finally learning how to take a compliment.

“Yeah, thanks. Noticed you’re not a redhead anymore.”

“It’s harder to notice a brunette when all you’re looking for is red hair. Have you learned nothing from me?” She had missed this, the easy bantering that came between them, even under the direst of circumstances. It was familiar, in a way she was beginning to fear she had lost for good. “Well, you obviously didn’t. Took you long enough to find me, even with all the hints I’ve been sending your way.”

He shrugged casually. “Yeah, I did sort of wander how was it that I was able to find you. So you knew where we were all along?” She arched an eyebrow at him and he nodded. “Of course you did.” He leaned back against the couch, draping an arm over the back of it, looking more relaxed than either of them had the right to in the situation.

“I was beginning to think that I’d have to come to you instead.”

“So why didn’t you?” For all his relaxed posture, his voice was serious, his blue eyes burning into hers and she almost flinched at the sudden change in mood.

“I didn’t think I’d be very welcome in Wakanda.” He kept looking at her, that same intensity in his gaze. She could see he wasn’t entirely buying it, calling her out on it without actually saying anything. Maybe he had learned something from her after all. She decided to try something closer to the truth. “I didn’t know how welcoming everyone would be.”

He was out of the couch and standing right in front of her before she could think about it. “Don’t. Just… don’t.” His voice was strained and his face was stone hard. He took a deep breath before continuing. “You know you’re always welcome. You’ll always have a place with me.”

She could feel a soft smile grazing her lips. It was a slip of the tongue, or maybe not. Either way, the hope it filled her with was real. “So what exactly brings you here Steve?”

He seemed surprised for a moment at the question, although he didn’t shy away from it. “Well… I was wandering – well sort of hoping actually….” His gaze dropped down to his feet momentarily before meeting her eyes again. “I was kind of hoping that I’d be picking you up.”

A flirtatious smirk graced her features almost instantly. “Picking me up soldier? What do you have in mind?” She watched with a strange sort of glee as he rubbed the back of his neck and couldn’t help a small laugh when a faint blush colored his cheeks. There it was. She still had it.

“What I meant was…” He shook his head before giving her a shy, embarrassed little smile. “You know what I meant.”

“Are you asking me to run away with you?” The flirtatious tone was definitely still there, even if she could tell it was joined by something else entirely. Something that felt and sounded a lot like happiness. She wandered if he could hear it too.

He let out a startled laugh at her choice of words, before letting it turn into a slow smile, one that was bright and warming and inviting. One that was entirely seductive. He reached a hand out towards her. “Will you? Run away with me?”

She didn’t hesitate before taking his hand. She knew the answer to that.

“Yeah.” She shrugged casually. “It’ll be fun.”

[happy-birthday-quotesmessages]

Heart Touching Happy Birthday Wishes for Aunt of 2021

The best Heart Touching happy birthday wants for auntie: Well, since you have these incredible birthday good tidings for Aunt, you can send her a pleasant card with an extraordinary message to engage her on her day.

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Today is your unique day, and I need you to experience the best moments that you can keep in your memory and in your heart. May God give you life and much wellbeing with the goal that we might construct more recollections all together. Happy birthday, loved Aunt! For the best messages checkout Birthday aunt quotes by happy-birthday-quotes.com.

Dear Aunt, the years pass by, and you are as yet the most delightful and well disposed of all. How great you feel each birthday, and how pleased to say that I am your niece. Congrats by and by!

Happy birthday, Aunt! My brothers and I are thankful to have you in our lives, and we need to wish you much satisfaction. May everything you could ever hope for work out as expected and may we have a lot more years with us.

At this moment, I simply need to embrace you and let you know the amount I love you, however distance forestalls me. All things being equal, I send you this card so you realize that I generally remember you and that the adoration I have for you won't ever disappear. Happy birthday, Aunt! I wish you lived it up.

Heart Touching Birthday Wishes for Aunt

Here you have a decent rundown of messages, which you can utilize contingent upon your loving. You can likewise take these birthday wants for the uncle that we distributed as of late, and assuming you need to make a few enhancements, you are in the entirety of your right. I trust they help you a ton.

How I might want my brothers to have kids soon, as I might want to resemble you, the best Aunt on the planet. Partake in this hotly anticipated and unique day, wherein I wish everything you could ever want work out and accomplish every one of your objectives. Congrats wonderful!

Few out of every odd day such a wonderful lady turns into a year more seasoned, and only one out of every odd day she is encircled by a family that cherishes her frantically. May God fill this new year of life for you with endowments and delights!

Dear Aunt, I might want to exploit these birthday wishes to tell you that for my eyes each year that you meet, you are more wonderful and that for my heart consistently that you meet loves you significantly more. Happy birthday, Aunt!

I didn't realize that one day I could cherish a relative such a lot of that I didn't live with me, and you are that special case. Ideally, life will hold us a lot more years to partake in one another. Congrats!

Congrats on this day, second mom, today is a day of feelings for me, a day wherein I check out the past and recollect all that I have resided in your home, all that you have offered me, and all that you have adored me. Congrats, I love you!

Happy birthday, Aunt! I trust and wish that you partake in every one of the gifts you will get today, clearly there are many, despite the fact that I as of now let you know that not all you merit since life will consistently be in your obligation. I love you, delightful Aunt!

[jadedfanfiction-blog]

Chapter 2

Ok so I know you read the beginning of this and wondering how in the hell did I get myself here. I'm twenty-three years old, with two degrees, a dream job at DDC House Design, the top interior design house on the east coast and I am officially 6 weeks pregnant. Well I am going to have to take you back to about 8 months ago when I stepped out on a dream and chased it all the way to New York City.

"Congratulations Sloane Taylor,  

This letter is to thank you and to acknowledge of your offer of employment to join the staff of DDC House of Designs with an entry level salary of $176,000. We feel it would be out mutual advantage to advance our final decision. Will contact you via email to advise you of your employment packet.  

Sincerely, DDC House Designs

"OOOOMMMMGGGGG, Mommy come her look! Omg look at this email!"

"What is it Sloane you are calling my name like you crazy."

""Look mom I got the designing job in New York?"

"Wow that’s great baby girl I'm so proud of you." My mother said with conviction,  

I looked up at my mother that had a sweet and sour look on her face when she heard me say New York.  

"Ok mom please don’t ruin this moment with that look ok New York is not that far away.  

"I know honey but its far enough and you don’t have any family up there. "

See my mother in my eyes is being her usual over protective self at the mention of me going somewhere that isn't Greensboro, North Carolina. I've been here my entire life and I can't wait to leave. Nobody here has hope or dreams of anything outside of those city lines. Don’t get me wrong I love my hometown and I am proud of where I come from, but I want to see the world. I graduated college last year from North Carolina A&T with my Bachelors in Business and a Minor in Art since of course my mother would have had a heart attack if I would have gone out of state. Hell, I think she might have had a minor stroke if I went to East Carolina University, so I didn’t even test the limits. I am by far not a small-town girl but I hold my values. Most of the girls I graduated out of high school have kids now including my best friend Amina Walton who I have known since kindergarten. We met on the first day when she asked me to push her on the swing on the playground and now we have been inseparable ever since. She had her daughter Skylar our freshman year in college and I love her to the moon and back but I know for sure I am nowhere near ready to be a mom.  

Mommy, I can take care of myself I am an adult and plus I have done everything you have ever asked of me. I stayed in Greensboro longer than I had planned on it. It is way past time for me to travel and leave."

"I understand Sloane, but what are you going to do it something goes wrong or you need something."

"then I will call home and ask. Mom you have to learn to let me go you are starting to smother me and I am an adult. I love you I really do but I am taking this job,"  

I had to put on my firm voice but I know I was hurting her feelings by saying that. It has been me and my mom for years after my dad died and she couldn’t help but hold me close. I can't really blame her though she really stepped up and played both roles perfectly to win an Oscar.  

"well what are they offering you to have you move so far?"

"they are paying my rent for my apartment, full benefit coverage, paid vacations and all holidays off. Come on mom, it is no way I am going to ever find a job like that here."

"ok ok Sloane. When do you have to leave after you accept the job?"

"Two-weeks..."

"two weeks! That is too soon how will you pack and get all of your things there in time?"

"they are sending movers mom, everything will be fine.  

I was so excited I couldn’t contain myself while she was in my room. Once I finally got her to see things through my eyes she walked out my room. I closed the door and let out a silent scream. I count help it. It felt like such a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I am leaving this place behind and not looking back.  

Two weeks flew by I couldn’t believe my whole life was packed into 30 cardboard boxes and I was counting the hours to load them in a moving truck. I didn’t think I was going to be this sad to leave when I made the call and accepted the position. Amina through me a huge going away party last night and it seemed like the entire city came out to see me off. Including my ex Zayvion. 

We dated for 3 years and I learned everything I don’t deserve in a relationship. I know what you thinking and no he didn’t cheat on me but let's just say college can really change people. Everything was perfect in that honey moon phase but after he crossed and pledged Omega Psi Phi Fraternity Inc. Secrets pushed us apart and turned us against each other. I didn’t expect to see him there and I know Amina didn’t invite him so of course he heard through the grapevine that I was leaving. Everybody loved us together being that we were the "black Love Lives" couple of the century. I can't deny he was fine for sure 6"4, golden peanut butter skin, full pink lips and chocolate brown curls. With a smile that made me melt and eyes to steal my soul.  Who could turn him down? At one point I never thought I could. Not to mention his dick game was powerful I swear that’s how he pledged on line. Freshman and Sophomore year, I had a nice size four body, but Junior and Senior year I filled out in everything. My body couldn’t lie that he wasn’t putting it down before dorm curfew and the whole campus could see it.  

He approached me with that suave walk and pearly white smile smashed across his face. I got a little weak at the knees as I watched him approach me from across the back yard. All my girls giggling behind me talking about "girl here he come" "mmm you sure you wanna leave that behind" "girl he so damn fine". I rolled my eyes at all of them, "look yall need to calm down and play it cool nobody is thinking about that boy." But on the inside my heart was racing. He walked up and said " what's up yall?" His voice rang in my ears so vibrant sending me to reminisce when he would whisper in my ear with my legs up on his shoulders and he hitting my spot just right. Damn I missed that feeling. My pussy started tingling and the thought of his hands rubbing down my thighs to spread my legs.  

"Sloane you good? "

I snapped out my daydream, "yeah I'm good, what are you doing here?"

"I heard Kiwan talking about it and I was surprised that I didn’t get an invitation so I thought I would make a surprise appearance. "

"well I didn’t make the guest list so I hope your feelings weren't too hurt."

"A little bit, but it's nothing a hug can't fix though," he shrugged his shoulders and held his arms out and open for me.  

It couldn't hurt just to hug him right? I contemplated at first then I just gave in and stepped in for the hug. His Prada cologne hit my nose and mesmerized me. His chest was thick and muscular. I could feel in his back where he had been hitting the gym and it was doing his justice.  

"awwww look at my favorite couple." I hear coming from behind him a familiar voice. Zayvion's best friend and line brother Kiwan. He was cool and about the only friend he had that I actually liked.  

"shut up you are so annoying"  

"don’t do me like that friend, you know im always going to team Sloane and Zay"  

"Shut up bro " Zay laughed and nudged Kiwan. "you play too much"  

"ok when yall stop frontin' let me know. Speaking of frontin whats up Amina you not gonna speak ? "

" Boy bye no im not speaking to you." Amina gave him the hand and walked off. Kiwan always had a thing for Amina since sophomore year and she tried everything to turn him away but I know on the low she had a little flutter for him. All it took was when she mentioned she had a daughter and he instantly got excited and said he would love to meet her one day. It definitely took Amina by surprise most guys take off at the mention of a kid but he held his own.  

"Bro when are you just going to let that go man?" Zay always joked him for how Amina loved to give him the cold shoulder.  

"Never bruh, you don’t understand we got a thing its just on the low."  

We all burst out laughing and everything felt like old times. In that moment my heart felt a little heavy. Am I really going to leave all of this behind. My friends and family for the big city? I wanted to say im staying but I knew It was just in the moment and when I got there it would all fade away.  

*Alarm rings

I woke up not realizing that I had fallen asleep in the middle of my day dreams. Today was the day. I reached over to turn off my alarm and my notification list was longer than usual. I scrolled down and saw Amina, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Daily Quotes and to my surprise Zayvion. My eye widened and I didnt even think he still had my number. I didn’t want to open his message to make it seem like I missed him or was pressed to see what he said so I just went to answer Amina. She said she was on her way to help me load the moving truck so I needed to get up and shower.  

Im going over my check list to make sure I got everything to load up as I see her pull up in her red Volkswagen Jetta. I didn’t even have to turn around to know it was her because I could hear the 90s r&b playlist bumping from down the street. The car doors closed and I heard my little angel Skylar's voice call out for me " Auntie!" I dropped my notepad and swept her up in my arms for a huge hug. She has gotten so big so fast and I cant believe I am about to leave her. I have been there since day one and in the delivery room when she was born.  

She hugged my neck so tight then pulled back and asked "auntie why is all of your stuff in that big truck where are you going?"  

I wanted to lie and say no where without you but I couldn’t. "auntie is moving to new york remember for her big girl job." She just smiled back at me and said "well are you going to visit me and mommy because we are going to miss you."  

"of course pumpkin and you and mommy are going to come visit me on the airplane right?"

"yes" she squealed. "good now go see meme she has cookies." I put her down on her feet and she took off running into the house. Amina walked up behind her and hugged me which is something she never does.  

"what is wrong with you, im not dying" I said.  

"what do you mean you are not dying?" She look confused at what I asked her.  

"uhm you are hugging me like im dying tomorrow not moving away."  

"well you might as well be! We have spent every day of our lives together since kindergarten, what am I going to do now that you have out grown this place?"

"well you know you can always move there too eventually, they need nurses in every state."  

"yeah I know but I have Skylar and I don’t really want to take her from my mom."

"you cant limit your self because of other people Mina." I always wanted so much more for Amina. She had potential to be so much more than she allowed herself to step out of her comfort zone to be. We were similar but our differences made us great friends.  

"girl are you sure you are ready to move like what is going to be the first thing you do when you get there?"

"shit find the nearest Junior's Cheesecake and walk the Brooklyn Bridge." We burst out laughing but I couldn’t be more serious.  

"how did it feel seeing Zayvion last night? I had no idea he was going to show up even though the whole city was In that shit. We was lit for sure."

"yeah It was super awkward and intense at first and it felt like old times." Speaking of Zay I totally forgot he had texted me this morning. "He texted me this morning and I didn’t think he would remember my number."

"why wouldn’t he? Bestfriend now you know that boy still love you and he know he fucked up."

"to bad that was not my problem then and its not now. He shoudnt be trying to press me now its been a whole year since we broke up and he wants to wait until the day before I leave to reach out? No thank you ill pass." I rolled my eyes and went to grab some boxes. It was no need for me to text back now.

We loaded the truck in a matter of 2 hours and nothing was left but my suitcase and backpack for my flight in the morning. My mom had to work but she would be off intima to take me to the airport. Amina and Skylar stayed over for one of our famous living room sleepovers.  

"You know your going to be ordering out every night when you get there because you cant cook?" She laughed trying to joke will she made all my sleepover favorites.

"shut up I can cook enough to survive! Plus that’s what restaurants are for to order out of."

"yeah but your going to miss this home cooking believe it or not because you know I can burn." Amina was the perfect wife and mom type. She had all the qualities not to mention she was beautiful. Milk cocoa brown skin, full curly natural hair that she passed on to Sky and she was 5"4 slim thick thick for sure.  

"yeah I am, you spoil me bestie. Thanks for everything!" I smiled at her and she just smiled back because she wasn’t the sentimental type but I know a tear filled her eye on that one. She finished cooking and we turned on the black Cinderella with Brandy and Whitney Houston our favorite movie. Amina was sleep first as usual then sky and me. My mom came in and woke us up in time to get ready for me to catch my flight. We parked the car in the departure parking lot and they walked me to my gate. I hugged Amina and Sky trying to hold back tears. Then my mom who was wiping her eyes quickly so I wouldn’t see her crying.  

"oh mommy its ok don’t cry. I am going to facetime you as soon as I land."  

"I love you Sloane be safe ok?"

"I love you too mommy!"  

*now boarding flight 5477 to New York City at Gate 4*

"that’s me guys! I will call as soon as I land." I picked up my bag and walked to my gate. Handing my ticket over to the flight attendant I took one last look back at them waving bye to me I waved back walked through the doors. I found my seat and adjusted myself for the take off. I had a window seat so I could see the airplane wing. I took a hug deep breath and settled my nerves. This was the start of a new beginning and the plane started rolling.  

[sancarlo]

Teresita Castillo, a ten-year-old from Spain, died as a missionary. She saw Carlo in one of her dreams.

Keep her on your radar. She’s going to be canonized.

https://web.archive.org/web/20210315193346/https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicnewsagency.com%2Fnews%2Fteresita-the-spanish-10-year-old-who-became-a-missionary

The full letter:

Dear Priests,

This time I am not writing to call you to a meeting or to ask for statistics or communications. This time I am writing to you, plain and simple, to notify you of the death of a little girl who has had a great impact on my personal life and as Vicar. A little girl: Teresita; and parents: Teresa and Eduardo, a Christian family!

Let me explain briefly. Last February 11, Day of the Sick, this year I went to celebrate the Eucharist at La Paz Hospital. I celebrated the Eucharist accompanied by the chaplains and a varied assembly: doctors, nurses, relatives of the sick, etc. At the end of the Eucharist, I usually go with the chaplains to visit some of the sick to administer the Anointing or give them communion. This time the chaplains, knowing my habit, had suggested that I go to visit a seriously ill girl, who was to be operated on the following day for a tumor in her head. I gladly accepted the proposal. We arrived at the ICU properly equipped, I greeted the doctors and nurses, and then I was taken to Teresita's bed, which was next to her mother Teresa. A white bandage was wrapped around her head, but her face was sufficiently uncovered to perceive a truly brilliant and exceptional face. I greeted her with all affection, indicating that at that moment I was coming on behalf of the Cardinal Archbishop of Madrid to bring Jesus to her.

I now quote Teresita's expressions; she said to me: "You bring me Jesus, don't you?", yes, I answered her, I bring you Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit with the Anointing. Then she said to me: "Do you know what? I love Jesus very much". Her mother hears this and addressing her daughter, she says: "tell Angel what you want to be". She looks fixedly at her mother and says: "Do I really tell him?" and her mother says: "You will see". Teresita tells me: "I want to be a missionary".

I was so impressed by her answer, totally unexpected for me, that I took strength from where I had none, because of the emotion that her answer produced in me, that I told her: "Teresita, I constitute you right now as a missionary of the Church, and this afternoon I will bring you the document that accredits it and the missionary cross". She added: "Fr. Angel, do you know what: I pray that many children may come to know Jesus". Then I administered the Sacrament of Anointing, gave her communion and the Apostolic Blessing of Pope Francis. It was a moment of prayer, very simple but deeply supernatural. We were joined by some nurses who spontaneously took some photos of us, totally unexpected for me, and which will remain as an indelible memory. We said goodbye while she and her mother remained praying and giving thanks.

That morning I had a meeting of the Archpriesthood; as soon as I finished it I went directly to the Vicariate and helped by the secretaries Miguel and Mª Pilar, we prepared the missionary office under a truly precious parchment. I picked up the missionary cross and at five o'clock in the afternoon I returned to the Hospital of La Paz. The chaplains were waiting for me and we went straight to the ICU again. As soon as my mother saw me, she said out loud: "Teresita, I can't believe it! Mr. Vicar is coming with the gift for you". The little girl, who was half asleep, woke up immediately and took the document and the cross in her hands. The mother read it aloud to her, while she listened attentively and what we had imagined happened, she got excited until her mother consoled her, and Teresita said aloud: "put that cross on the bar so that I can see it well, and tomorrow I will take it to the operating room. I am already a missionary". We said goodbye with these words of Teresita: "So, Fr. Angel, am I a missionary?", and I answered "you are a missionary".

Here I could end the story of this simple and profound experience. What I could not imagine is that through the contacts of the fathers, this testimony reached the ears of the National Delegate of Missions. He called me the next day and asked me this question: "Have you constituted a missionary girl in the Hospital of La Paz?" Yesterday, after giving her the anointing and communion, I constituted her as a missionary with the mandatory prayer and then I took her the document and the missionary cross". Then she tells me: "this testimony has gone around the whole missionary world of Spain and they have already made Teresita a new protector for the children in mission". Subsequently the parents have been forwarding me messages from different people impacted by Teresita's testimony.

On Sunday, March 7, at 9:00 a.m., Teresita departed for heaven. A wake was held at the Funeral Home of El Escorial. While I was praying the Rosary with the parents and the maximum capacity allowed, Cardinal Carlos Osoro called me to be present. They have been words full of hope that have openly consoled the parents, relatives and children companions of Teresita. Carlos concluded by giving the blessing to Teresita and to all those accompanying her.

When I thought that everything was finished, Teresita's aunt told me in a loud voice and in front of everyone in the room of the Funeral Home: "Fr. Angel, would you allow me to play the audio that Teresita sent me the same day that you constituted her as a missionary? Of course, I answered, and textually we heard with a very soft voice, like someone who is tired, but who gets strength from where he has none, and says: "Hello auntie, let me tell you something very important: this morning, after receiving the Anointing and communion, the Vicar of Madrid has declared me missionary. So now, I am a missionary". As you can imagine, I was speechless.

The funeral will be tomorrow, March 8, at the same time as the Eucharist for D. Tomás Juárez. The parents have fully understood that I will not be able to accompany them physically. I will be at the Mass of Glory that they will celebrate at the end of March.

I apologize for the length of this letter but if I do not share this testimony with the priests, consecrated life and laity of Vicariate VIII, with whom am I going to share it?

I invite you, then, to pray for Teresita and, above all, to entrust yourselves to her intercession because I am convinced that she will protect in a special way all of Vicariate VIII, where she was declared as a missionary. I send you a strong and brotherly embrace.

Ángel Camino Lamela, osa.

Episcopal Vicar. Vicariate VIII

Source (in Español):

https://es.aleteia.org/2021/03/09/fallece-teresita-la-nina-con-cancer-que-murio-siendo-ya-misionera/

[mingchii]

On Leave

Sunday. Usually a day where everybody is just chilling since there’s no work/school. A day people spend freely on whatever they want. But for me, that Sunday is one of the toughest Sundays I’ve ever had.

I woke up from a nightmare. My chest was extremely heavy as I recall the terrible things that happened in my dreams. I was crying. I felt scared. I thought everything was falling apart. I dreamed about something I was desperately trying to avoid. A dream, nightmare rather, where I saw him seeing women while I was standing from afar. I can’t move. I can’t do anything but feel my heart being torn piece by piece, very slowly. Crying while you’re asleep isn’t really the best thing, it takes away all of your energy and leaves you nothing when you wake up.

My brother knocked the door to wake me up, “we have visitors” he said. After tidying up my terrible face, I went downstairs to see my aunties with goodies. I got a ton of bags and wallets. “Well I guess this day isn’t too bad”, I assumed. Then the day went on from me keeping myself busy. Sorting my calendar, preparing documents for my new job, and cleaning my room. I tried to keep my phone away. I admit I get tempted a lot. “I want to know how’s he doing.” But I want to stay out to keep myself from hurting more. That afternoon went by too quick. My parents didn’t have to call me when we’re about to head back to the city since I was not busy on Skype anymore. I was going to take a shower when my glasses slipped, fell, and broke. “Ah sucks. But that’s okay, I still got a shit spare.” It wasn’t too bad really.

We dropped by to my grandma’s grave to light some candles and offer flowers. My dad and aunties were chatting. As I grabbed my phone, it slipped off my hand and fell flat on the concrete. I looked for cracks, it was perfectly fine. But it won’t turn on when I tried to. I felt devastated. I had the similar feeling when I got scammed by that shit insurance company. “I have no money to buy a new one”, I thought. And if I’d get to repair it it’ll be costly, on top of what I have to spend on new glasses. I didn’t know what to do. I had no choice. The day had to go on with me sighing all the time. Suddenly, I heard my phone ring. It’s not dead, but the screen is still off. I asked my brother if I could borrow his power bank. The thing is, I need to press the power button before I can enter my passcode. The power bank lit the screen and let me enter my passcode. I got a bit of relief, it wasn’t too bad again. Now I realized that it’s just the power button that’s broken. It also means that if my phone completely shuts down, I cannot turn it on again.

In the mall, we immediately had it checked. I can still get my warranty but I don’t have my receipt with me. The service center guys also said that if I have internal cracks, I can’t avail the warranty. I had it initially quoted for the worst case scenario – 9K. That’s half of the cost of my phone. I felt so lost and so vulnerable. I got out of the center quite dumbfounded, not knowing what to do next. I remember walking around the mall while keeping my tears from falling. I know I needed to buy my own power bank to unlock my phone. I was searching, and searching, while keeping myself from crying. That’s when I made the decision to message him. That was around 5:45 PM. “That’s still 9:45 PM in his time, a bit early for bed, he’ll reply right?” That moment I desperately needed someone I can talk to. The message double ticked - I assumed he knows that I messaged but chose not to reply. I felt so broken. I’m really by myself now. I blamed myself too for expecting. After I arrived home, I just went to bed immediately. “I want to end this miserable day.”

Monday. I got a message from him. Yep, I was right. He chose not to reply. He gave me a quite decent reason on why he did that. But I also realized, with that reply, it proved that I’m not his priority anymore. I messaged early, but still wasn’t enough. “Well you wouldn’t be, you’re not together anymore”, I reminded myself. Still glad he prayed for my health.

I decided not to go work today. I’m too tired and sad to do anything. My manager is gonna be shit mad because we have a very important meeting. I check Whatsapp a lot and see if he tried to message me more. I do see him go online, but doesn’t leave a message for me. Sometimes I just wonder if he checks it because of me or for someone else. But in the end, I decided to write this down. Just like old times, to let everything out without having to talk to someone else.

I hope I don’t end up being the old quiet self again. I hope my sun shines soon

[rina-rambles]

The Peepal Tree: Behind The Scenes & Curtain Calls

Hard as it is to believe, it is almost time for Rina Didi’s (hopefully temporary) curtain call. While I hope the literary group remember the German I taught them, this article is about my real legacy after the few months at Happy Days: the English play with Class 5A.

Admittedly Nani did a lot of the initial legwork, adapting the script from a Ruskin Bond story to make it suitable for a school play and proving once again why everyone adores Umi Ma’am. But from the moment I sat down to type up the script, I felt attached to the story and what it would grow to become. This doesn’t mean that the production is huge, quite the opposite in fact: With a cast of only 15 or 16 kids and three short scenes, the play is relatively small-time. Add to that the fact that it’s a fifth grader’s performance and my pride in the project may seem over the top. My own fifth-grade play is a hazy memory now, as this production will be for these kids ten years from now, if at all.

As a quote from my favourite TV show Glee nicely puts it: “Life only really has one beginning and one end…the rest is just a whole lot of middle.” This play is hardly comparable to a lifetime but the sentiment is fitting. That scene was leading up to a show choir competition for a group of misfit kids in high school and their teacher, whose quote that is, had some noteworthy advice: It doesn’t matter whether you win or lose when the journey has been so much fun. 

Not that any sane parent dislikes a performance from their child, but the point is that audience reception of this play doesn’t matter to me. I will remember every minute of our rehearsals fondly and if there’s one thing making me sad at this point, it’s the fact that I will miss the final performance of the play in December. But my “whole lot of middle” about this journey has been every day with these kids and getting to watch them grow into their roles with infectious enthusiasm and joy. The story is simple but it is the progress made in just over a month of rehearsals that have made it memorable, at least for me.

The Story

The Peepal Tree is narrated by a young man named Bobby, telling the story of a disruptive arrival to his family home when he was eight years old. Living with his Dada and Dadi, life was peaceful until the local P.W.D department decided an ancient peepal tree in the family’s garden was obstructing the road and would need to be cut down. Led by a pompous chief engineer, the surveyors descend upon the family garden to measure out the space required for the wider road. A team of obedient woodcutters soon follow suit, paying no attention to how much their presence and ruthless destruction of the tree anger the master of the house, Bobby’s Dada. The old man tries in vain to remind the business-like chief engineer of the government’s message to replenish nature rather than cut down such valuable greenery. Neither his anger nor Bobby’s Dadi’s broken-hearted cries at the loss of her beloved tree have any effect on the workers and the chopping commences.

As the first scene draws to a close, the narrator chimes in with the foreshadowing insight that Prets, meaning ghosts, often live in peepal trees. No one in the house would be able to see this spirit, but with the tree gone, the mischievous creature had nowhere to go but their once peaceful family home. The play’s second scene takes place in the house and opens with a clear indication of the havoc caused by the Pret. Bobby’s Dadi has apparently misplaced her glasses and in her frantic hunt lays the blame on Bobby, innocently doing his homework nearby. As the eight-year-old points out he had nothing to do with the disappearance of her spectacles, the old woman asks him to locate her missing keys. This is the cue for the ghost to have some fun and the keys soar across the room, out of the little boy’s reach and leaving him confused and out of breath. That was the moment the grandmother realized that the strange chaos must be caused by the Pret from their old peepal tree, a moment of recognition met by delighted applause from the naughty spirit.

After this introduction to the ghostly chaos, the narrator announces the arrival of a new victim for the Pret, the misfortunate Raju Uncle. Exhausted by his long journey, the man tries to sleep but the Pret cheekily pulls the sheets off him and throws them to the ground repeatedly. The result is a restless night and when the scene shifts to a family breakfast the next morning, Raju is in a very sleep-deprived and grumpy mood as he informs the family of the mysterious flying sheets. For this prank too, young Bobby gets suspected and blamed by his uncle, though the little boy has moved out of that room while Raju is staying. It is then that the Dadi tells him of the strange disappearances of her glasses, the flying keys and general havoc in their organized home since the peepal tree was chopped down…the Pret is to blame for Raju’s rough night as well.

The narrator indicates the passage of time at this point, with the mischievous Pret continuing to create chaos and messes in the house, to Dadi’s dismay. Then another new arrival is introduced, loaded with heavy baggage to exhaust her plump physique, the dramatic Kamini Aunty enters. The Pret takes an instant liking to her, showering her with rose petals stolen from Dada’s garden as a welcoming gesture. Although angered by the destruction of his flower garden, the old man recognises this action as a sign that the Pret approves of Kamini and says so. Kamini then makes the fatal mistake of saying she doesn’t believe in ghosts and such things, leading the spirit to throw fruit at her head in revenge. In those few poorly chosen words, Kamini Aunty managed to get on the naughty Pret’s bad side and this would be soon proven in the ghost’s ultimate prank. In switching out Kamini’s tube of toothpaste with some of Dada’s shaving cream, the Pret had her frothing at the mouth and led to Raju Uncle dramatically declaring; “Keep away from her, she has rabies!”

The final scene arrives with a brainwave from Raju to rid the family of the Pret’s annoying presence. He heads off to the bazaar and returns shortly with a Sadhu known for ridding houses of evil spirits, despite young Bobby’s insistence that the Pret is just mischievous, not evil. The Sadhu moves around the house, chanting mantras and lighting incense sticks to ward off the lingering spirit haunting the family. When he is finished, he gleefully demands payment for his services from Raju Uncle, only to have the Pret pelt him with garbage and chase him away for good. The narrator then eases along the passage of time once more, with the family adjusting to their friendly Pret’s habitual tricks and pranks since there seems to be no getting rid of the ghost. One day, the Dadaji beckons his wife and grandson to the garden eagerly, claiming he has a surprise for them. It turns out to be the sapling of a peepal tree, to take the place of the one so viciously cut down by the P.W.D department. Little Bobby is disappointed to learn how long the tree will take to become as large and majestic as the first one, but vows to take care of the little sapling for as long as he lives. The Pret is overjoyed to have a home again and applauds the planting of the little sapling, giving weight to the environmental message of the play: For every tree we cut down, one should be planted in order for the circle of life to continue.

No matter what happens when this play is ultimately performed, I know how far these kids have come. In early October, rehearsals began sitting crowded around the table in the staff room, just reading through the script to try and find the right person for each part. There were perfect fits, like the narrator Aman and Sumit as our Raju Uncle. Other key parts, like our Dadaji, were re-cast multiple times until Tushant finally claimed the role. The play is built upon a message of environmental preservation importance, so the old man’s final monologue is vital. With Umi Ma’am as his daily coach since he got the part quite far into the process, I have full faith in him. There are only two girls in this little play, as Dadiji and the dramatic Kamini Aunty. The grandmother needed to be emotional at the loss of her precious peepal tree and Aunt Kamini has the play’s biggest prank played on her and had to act accordingly. Again quite far into rehearsals, considering the school break for Diwali, we swapped the two girls’ roles. Originally the Dadi, Manya is much better suited to the exaggerated drama of a plump aunty who has her toothpaste swapped for shaving cream by the Pret. And Pankhuri has adorably awkward chemistry with Tushant, as it always looks like he’s touching her head in blessing when he guides her away from the garden wing of the stage as the tree is being cut down.

Other fond memories include the adorable drawings from various boys in the early days, which I will definitely proudly frame for my bedroom in Switzerland. It was also touching to see the family unity across two areas of the school I was involved in when Prashika from my literary hobby group came to beg us to give her brother (an originally mute surveyor of the tree cutting) a line in the play to increase his self-confidence. That impressed me and was symbolic of everything I have grown to love about Happy Days in the past few months. We’ve had ups and downs through this process, of course, distractions in every form from stray monkeys to the construction of stage lighting when the school recently had its 25-year reunion function. But as the final week of rehearsals rolls on before I hope to prove to my parents that these months have been well worth it, I am really proud of these kids.

It was difficult to get fifth graders to understand the assignment when I asked them to write down their fondest memories of this whole process…or maybe I’m just more sentimental and nostalgic. I also tried to get them to imagine alternate endings to the play. The only option to come out of that exercise was the new peepal tree hypothetically being cut down again one day, causing the Pret to move in with the family once more. Some of the kids did confess their highlights of the storyline though: For Manya, it was seeing the ghost pull off Raju’s bedclothes repeatedly and for Sumit, Raju himself, it was the line “Keep away from her, she has rabies!” For me, the funniest will always be Sumit’s confession that he didn’t have the 30 rupees his character was required to pay the spirit-banishing Sadhu…I told him to pretend but the dismay was precious. Now the poor Sadhu gets a handkerchief pressed into his hand as payment, as Sumit cheekily told me only this week…you have to love this boy. Whatever the case, I know that I will treasure the dramatic increase in excitement and enthusiasm whenever I would pull out my camera. My phone has been a life-line on this trip for a reason; I will look back at those videos and photographs very soon with as much pride as the kids showed every time they fought to be the centre of attention. I’ll be waiting eagerly for the day I can come back to Happy Days no matter what, but I hope that in the ultimate dress rehearsal next week my kids give me a good reason to. All that’s left to say is that I love them and every memory they have given me in the past few months. Good luck in December and I demand videos of the big day; Rina Didi will miss you all!

Speaking of missing people, it’s not only the school I have to temporarily say goodbye to but also my family. Since this may be my final article until I come back in hopefully a few months, there are some things that need saying. I have been coming to Shivpuri every year for my whole life and it has always been home, but in the past three months is the first time it has really felt like it, if that makes sense. It was a safe place to venture into teaching, with my family to fall back on and I am so grateful for that. Thank you, Nani, especially, for being there at every play rehearsal, even when the kids didn’t quite live up to your expectations. Thank you Geeta Mami, for being such an awesome boss and letting me start out with sessions in your office. Thank you Aditi, for putting up with me as a roomie and Arjun for letting me take over your desk for hours every day, I hope I’ve made my mark. And Sam, for encouraging every article and indulging my inner fangirl at the same time…you love my words but none can actually describe what a confidence booster all your help was, I love you and see you soon!

[isitstraightvodka]

Alone For The Weekend

Just something I wrote a while ago, thought I’d share it with all of you!!

Harry's POV

My alarm went off and I realised that it was 7am. Too early to wake up on a Friday. I shut off the annoying alarm and reached over to the other side of the bed, where my wife always slept, but she wasn't there. I panicked and spoke her name in a worried tone.

"I'm here, Harry." Her voice came from behind me.

I rolled over onto my other side and saw her standing by the large built-in wardrobe, closing the sliding glass mirror. She was all dressed and her suitcase was up against the wall. It hit me again. My wife was leaving today. She was going to spend three days away from home, in Italy with two of her girlfriends, which left me to look after our two little girls. It wasn't that I didn't like spending time with my daughters. I loved it but I had never been left alone with them for longer than 24 hours. This was going to be a new experience for me. (Y/N) saw the look on my face and sat on the edge of the bed, brushing her hand over my bare forearm.

"I'll be back on Monday morning, babe."

"It seems like you're going for longer than that." I sighed.

"Harry, I've coped without you for months at a time, when you went on tour and when you were filming Dunkirk. I'm certain you can last for three days without me." She said sweetly and leaned down to kiss me. I locked my arm around her neck and pulled her further down, deepening the kiss. My other arm went around her waist and I tugged her onto the bed so that we lay side-by-side. She squealed and I smiled, reconnecting our lips. I was going to be without her kisses for three days. I was going to be without her hugs for three days. The scent of her hair, the fragrance of her skin, making love to her, I wouldn't have any of it for three whole days. Sure, I had been away from her for months but since finishing Dunkirk and my first solo album, I finally had time for my family and I had gotten used to having my wife around every day. Now, she was the one that was leaving. I didn't want to let her go but the pressure of her hands on my chest made me release her slightly.

"If you keep kissing me like that, babe, I'll never leave." She murmured, burying her face in my neck. I'd love that. But she needed this holiday. The kids exhausted her, I could see it. My girl deserved a bit of fun and relaxation with her girlfriends.

"You have to go. Fae and Lara will kill me if I stop you from going on your little trip." I said. My wife giggled and looked at me with the big eyes that I had fallen for so deeply very early on.

"Look after the girls for me, Harry."

"I will, I promise."

"I should say goodbye to them now. Then I'm going."

My wife hopped off the bed and picked her handbag off the floor. She pecked my lips one last time and nuzzled her nose against mine.

"I love you."

"I love you too, (Y/N)." I said, kissing her cheek warmly. She slowly pulled away and in her eyes were the first flood of tears, sparkling brightly. She held them back and took hold of the suitcase handle, opening the bedroom door. My gaze locked to hers for the final time as she blew me a kiss, closing the door, disappearing from the sight.

She was gone.

I lay on my back, in a bed that suddenly seemed too big for just me, the ceiling blank and boring. Because she was gone, everything had been leeched of colour and soul. She lit up this room, this house, this life. My life. I didn't know how long I stayed in bed for. It must have been at least an hour and I knew that my wife was no longer in the house now, on her way to the airport with Fae and Lara. I dozed in and out of sleep, hardly getting more than 10 minutes because I couldn't sleep without my girl in my arms. It was a bad sign. How am I going to go to sleep tonight without her? A loud voice cracked me, coming from somewhere down the hall.

"Daddy!"

I rubbed my face with my hands, sighing. It's started already.

0*0

Within 5 minutes, I understood what my wife went through every day that I was away on tour and filming. So many questions I was asked, such a hassle it was to get breakfast ready, the inquiries of where Mummy was had begun.

"Daddy, why is milk white?"

"Daddy, is my toast ready yet?"

"How long will Mummy be gone, Daddy?"

My answers were pretty simple.

"It just is, peanut."

"Not yet, sweetie."

"For three days."

My two girls were the cutest human beings in the world. Fleur was two months away from turning 6 and Iris had just turned 4, the ages of complete adorableness. I could never thank (Y/N) enough for gifting me with these little angels, toothy smiles and green eyes with rivers of curly locks. Anyone could spot the resemblance between me and them. There was no doubt that they were my daughters and I was their father.

I served Iris her cereal and Fleur her toast. My eldest shocked me by gobbling down the hot pieces of bread, stains of raspberry jam on the corners of her lips. I was about to ask her why she was eating so fast but then, I saw her clothes. She was in her school uniform. I looked at the analogue clock on the wall and the time read 8:26am.

"Shit!" The word came out of my mouth before I stopped myself. Fleur looked at me and laughed while Iris pointed her little finger at me.

"Daddy just swore! Daddy, you swore!"

"I'm sorry, peanut, I didn't mean to. Don't tell Mummy, OK?" I said to my daughters, who both nodded. I turned to Fleur and told her to go and get her school bag. School was going to start in about half-an-hour and I needed to get her there in time. Fortunately, Iris was already dressed but she wanted to have her teddy bear in the car so I had to rush off to her room and find it. Once I had both girls strapped in the back seats, I turned the car off and reversed down the driveway, turning the wheel and zooming down the street.

I managed to get my 6-year-old through the gate just as the bell for classes to begin rang. I leaned down on the pavement to hug her, letting her wrap her arms around my neck. I pressed a kiss to her nose and told her I'd be here in the afternoon to pick her up. I stroked her cheek and watched her as she ran off, having spotted her friends and they walked into the school building together.

I hopped back in the car and looked at my youngest in the rear-view mirror.

"It's just you and me now, baby girl. What would you like to do today?"

"I want ice-cream!"

"Ice-cream? It's just past 9 o'clock."

"Please, Daddy! Please!" Iris begged. I sighed and rested my head against the seat. How does (Y/N) cope with this when I'm away? I had so much admiration and respect for her, looking after our daughters when I was fulfilling my dreams in the big world. My wife would kill me if she found out that I fed our daughter ice-cream this early so I suggested something else.

"How about we visit Auntie Gemma and Uncle Michal? We can get ice-cream later, OK?"

"OK, Daddy." Iris said softly. I smiled at her and pulled a kissy face in the mirror; she returned it with a giggle. The car engine roared to life again with a turn of my keys and off we went.

0*0

"Auntie Gemma! Auntie Gemma!" Iris chimed, throwing herself into my sister's arms.

"Hello, my little munchkin!" She laughed, her face filled with surprise at the sight of her niece. She looked at me, standing in the doorway, and welcomed me in with a gesture of her hand. I walked inside and shut the door, kissing my sister's cheek.

"Well, this is a surprise, brother mine."

"(Y/N)'s away, thought we'd pop in and say hello." I shrugged my shoulders. Gemma laid her free hand on my shoulder and smiled at me through her soft green eyes.

"You're too sweet, it's why I love you."

Let it be known that I adored my sister, the way any little brother would. She was one of the most important women, and people, in my life. She had been there for me since the beginning, since I entered this world. Without her support, I would be a brother without his beloved sister by his side. She loved me for me. She loved my choice of bride, she loved the lads, she loved my little girls. Gemma and I were two peas in a pod and I knew that would never change.

There was a squeal from Iris when Gemma's husband, Michal, snatched her out of my sister's arms, tickling her.

"Look who's decided to gatecrash our house!" He laughed as she squirmed against him. Her big green eyes looked right at me.

"Daddy, help me! Save me!"

"Not a chance." I smirked and before she could say anything, she let out a loud cry of laughter. It made us three adults laugh too. Iris's laugh was like that of an angel's. So pure and perfect, not tarnished in any way. It was unbelievable what having children had done to me. My heart exploded with love for them. Every time I wake up and the girls are already jumping on the bed, giggling and smiling their toothy smiles, it literally made me feel like the happiest, and luckiest, man on the planet. I was raised by women and I was now surrounded by more. I loved the women in my life, more than I loved myself.

The impromptu visit to Gemma and Michal kept Iris and I busy for a couple of hours. My niece, Daisy, my sister's 4-and-a-half year old, kept my daughter company while we adults had a long catch-up talk. Gemma demanded to see (Y/N) as soon as she was back because, and I quote, "I miss my sister-in-law way too much." I told her that I'd pass the message on. Once we were back in the car, it came to my attention that Iris still hadn't forgotten about my ice-cream promise.

"Now, ice-cream!"

"It's lunch time, peanut."

"I wanna have ice-cream for lunch!"

"No, you are not, young lady."

"Please, Daddy! Just one, please!"

Her pouty face made me the loser of the argument. I couldn't say no to that face, those eyes. She had won me over. But nothing prepared me for the drama that arose 10 minutes later.

Iris clutched my hand with her tiny one as we stepped into the ice-cream shop. She wanted her usual of cookie dough and I got plain mango gelato. I played sweet with her, swiping icy cold ice-cream down her nose and she got me back by sweeping some of hers between my top lip and my nose so that I had a weird moustache. It was all fine and dandy until we left the shop. I had finished my ice-cream but Iris hadn't but she said she'd eat the final bit of it on our walk back to the car. However, the second we walked out, a mob of paparazzi swarmed at me.

"Harry! Harry!"

"How are you? Are you releasing new music soon?"

"Harry, where's (Y/N)?"

"How's fatherhood?"

The last question hit me harder because in all the chaos, I realised that my 4-year-old was no longer holding my hand. I searched around frantically but she wasn't anywhere. The panic was written all over my face, I knew that, but I didn't care. All I cared about was finding my young daughter.

"Back up, mate. I need to find my kid." I tried to push past the cameras but the paparazzi just got more obsessive, flashes in my face and questions flung at me. I didn't say anything. The only word leaving my lips was "Iris!"

"Iris! Iris, where are you?"

"Daddy..."

Her voice was low and sad but I still heard her. I headed in the direction of where I thought she was, breaking through the barrier of people to find my small angel on the ground, tears streaming down her cheeks. I followed her gaze and saw that her ice-cream cone had smashed, ice-cream melting all over the place. It wasn't the end of the world but to a 4-year-old, it was. My baby girl was upset and I knew getting her another ice-cream wouldn't help.

"Come here, peanut." I opened my arms to her and she ran straight into them. I rose up to my full height, Iris clinging to me like a monkey, hiding her face in my neck. I hated it when my daughters were subjected to the media. They were part of my private life and I didn't want their faces plastered all over the Internet. They were mine and (Y/N)'s to look upon, not anyone else's. Iris softly sobbed as I hurried over to the car, strapping her into the front passenger seat; I wanted her next to me this time. The paparazzi were still around me, taking pictures. I had had enough. I closed the door and confronted the cameras.

"Look, just give me and my daughter some space, please. She's terrified so back off for a minute." I said as kindly as I could but the boiling of anger was rising up, wanting to break free. I held it back and got into the driver's seat, pulling out of the parking space and onto the road, away from the cameras and the questions.

Iris's sobbing had increased in volume and she was doing those choking cries where it sounded like she couldn't breathe. Oh, my darling... I pulled the car over on a quiet street and unclicked my seatbelt before unclicking hers too. I patted my lap and she immediately climbed over the console, wrapping her arms around my neck and crying into my chest. I rubbed her back and kissed her sweet-smelling hair, feeling her small body tremble in my arms.

"Sssh, sssh, my baby... You're safe. You're with me." I whispered.

"I was so scared, Daddy... The camera people pushed me away from you and I dropped my ice-cream. Those people aren't going to take you away from me, are they?"

I couldn't believe what my daughter was saying, let alone her even thinking it. I ran my hands through her dark locks and kissed her forehead as she clutched the ends of my curls with her petite fingers.

"No, of course not, peanut. I'm yours. Yours and Fleur's and Mummy's. And you three are mine. I won't let anybody hurt you, Iris. Not ever."

Big fat tears rolled down her cheeks, her face bright pink and sticky. But to me, always, she was beautiful, having inherited her mother's looks, both inside and out. Iris hugged me again, her high voice speaking faintly.

"Don't leave me, Daddy. Please don't leave me."

"Never. I love you, baby girl."

"I love you too, Daddy." She murmured. She sat there in my lap for at least another two minutes, simply because neither of us wanted to let each other go. She wanted to be in my arms and I wanted her to stay in them. It hadn't been my first incident involving my family and the paparazzi. The cameras thought it was their right to take pictures of (Y/N) and I when we went out on a romantic date while the kids were at my parents' place. When we took Fleur and Iris to the playground about a year ago, (Y/N) almost lost Fleur in the crowd, much like what had happened today with Iris. Sure, take pictures of me all you want but leave my wife and daughters be. That would never happen though. It was the downside of being a huge musician, a part of the biggest boyband in the world. My family were at risk, just as much as me. People liked to criticise them and I despised that. I loved my family and that's all that mattered. Oh, (Y/N), I can't wait for you to come home.

0*0

The dial tone rang in my ear as I paced up and down the kitchen, Iris and Fleur sitting on the couch and floor, watching Moana. It was just after dinner time and the girls were full, now indulging in a happy film, allowing me to have some privacy to make this phone call. Finally, the receiver picked up.

Harry?

"Hi, Mum."

Hello, dear. How are you?

"OK, I guess. A little..."

A little?

"I'm going to sound like a lovesick puppy but...I miss her, Mum. I miss (Y/N)." I rubbed my forehead and rested my elbows on the island in the middle of the kitchen.

Oh, Harry, there's nothing worse than having the one you love be so far away but honey, it'll be fine. She's coming back, she loves you, and she's handled much worse than you right now. It won't be long until she's back in your arms.

"It's not that. It's...just her being around the kids. It feels so different without her here, not taking Fleur to school and not having dinner with us. I don't know how she did it for months when I wasn't here with her."

A mother and a father have different roles and have different effects on their kids, it's why it's different without her. What's brought this on? Did something happen?

I craned my neck to the side through the open space, checking on my daughters. They were engrossed in the film, not paying attention to anything else. My gaze went to little Iris, sitting on the floor with her teddy bear in her arms, her eyes glued to the TV screen.

"I went out today with Iris while Fleur was at school. We got ice-cream but were bombarded by paparazzi when we left. I lost her in the chaos of it all. One moment, she was holding my hand and the next, she wasn't. I did find her but she was crying and it turned out that they had pushed her out of the way, trying to get to me. She was so scared, Mum, and so was I. I'm her father but today, I failed her. I lost her. I feel terrible about it." I explained. It was true, I felt so guilty. Why didn't I hold her hand tighter? Why didn't I just pick her up and run to the car before everything happened? My wife wouldn't be happy about it, I knew that for sure. I could imagine her saying to me, "Why did you let her go, Harry? Why didn't you keep her closer to you?" Iris had gotten over it, her sister made her feel better, but the pain within me was still there. Her face as she looked down at her ruined ice-cream, her choking sobs, her big red cheeks. They haunted me. I heard my mother sigh on the other end of the line.

My boy, you are a wonderful father. You were born to be one, I've always known that. Parenthood is full of challenges and obstacles, yours are just a little...abnormal. You lost her but Harry, you found her. You protected her. You did not fail her and I'm sure she thinks the same as me, and (Y/N) as well. Don't beat yourself up, honey, it'll get you nowhere.

My mother's words sank in for me. Parenthood is never easy and I discovered that the minute Fleur was born. I was a normal person with an abnormal career. That was the only difference between me and ordinary fathers. Iris still loves me. And so does Fleur. And (Y/N). I would tell her about today when she got back, I didn't want to disrupt her on her holiday straightaway. I looked back at my girls in the living room and smiled when they began to sing one of the songs in the film. And that's when it hit me. I'm a good father.

"How do you always know the right thing to say?" I asked.

I'm your mother, Harry. It's my job. She laughed gently.

I farewelled her and ended the phone call, stepping into the living room to enjoy the rest of Moana with my daughters.

0*0

Monday finally rolled around and today was the day that my wife and the mother of my kids would return. It was around quarter past 8 in the morning and we were having our breakfast when the sound of the key in the front door clicked, followed by the sound of her youthful voice.

"I'm home!"

"Mummy!" Both girls screamed at the same time and leapt out of their chairs, rushing off to greet their mother. I didn't even bother telling them to come back and finish their food. I followed them, at a slower pace, and when I entered into the entrance hall, the sight that lay before me was a perfect one.

There was the love of my life, her handbag still slung over her shoulder and her suitcase up against the wall beside her, a big smile on her face. In her right arm was Iris and Fleur had her arms wrapped around her mother's waist, grinning brightly up at her.

"My babies, I've missed you so much!" (Y/N) kissed Iris's cheek and stroked Fleur's curls with her other hand.

"We missed you too! And so did Daddy!" Iris said, looking at me as I leaned my shoulder on the wall. My wife's eyes locked to mine and her smile widened just a little bit more, and her eyes sparkled just a little bit brighter.

"I missed your Daddy too." She spoke.

"And where is Daddy's kiss?" I cocked my eyebrow at her as a smirk tugged at my lips. She bit her lip and placed Iris back down on the floor, taking her bag off her shoulders. Then, with a giggle, she ran over to me, locked her arms and legs around my neck and waist, her lips crushing down on mine with a passion that I had yearned for. I moaned and slid my arm around her waist, grabbing strands of her hair with my other fingers, smiling into the kiss.

"Mmmm, finally, I'm home." She breathed against my lips, just before I kissed her again, slipping my tongue in her mouth. I had missed her so much and I knew exactly what I wanted to do tonight when the kids were in bed. She knew it too.

"Oh, ewwww, stop that!" Fleur groaned.

"Mummy, Daddy, yuck!" Iris gagged.

My wife and I chuckled, kissing one last time softly. She flicked her hair over her shoulder and stared deep into my eyes, our chests touching.

"Yes, I'm definitely home."

Any feedback would be great!

All the love

Olivia xx

[stardust-squish-blog]

fairy tale ♡

it was chan’s birthday yesterday so here’s a little something i wrote

member: lee chan / dino

genre: fluff with the tiniest bit of angst

11 . 02 . 17 

the first good thing about today was not missing her alarm. she had woken up precisely at 08:15, when the sun had risen and the birds were chirping and there was stardust in her room. the air smelled nice, too. she had no idea why.

the ‘ding’ that came from the device on the nightstand gave a clue.

reminder: chan’s birthday ♡

her eyes found the little brown bag and balloon by the door and instantly, a smile blossomed. today was a special day. 

on the eleventh of february, nineteen years ago, a boy named lee chan was born.

today, he was going to turn nineteen.

and today, she had things to do.

09 : 19

“alright, guys, have a quick break. we’ll resume practice soon.”

choruses of groans and ‘thank you’s’ echoed throughout the practice room as thirteen bodies flopped to the floor, cheeks squished against the cool surface. for a while there was no movement, just contented sighs coupled together with the gentle whirring of fans. 

then the oldest boy sat up. “good job guys.” carding a hand through his hair, seungcheol flashed a reassuring smile. “it isn’t easy, but let’s work hard. we’ll get there.”

his comment elicited a snort from the chinese boy lying on his tummy. minghao snorted, “what do you mean? that wasn’t good at all. did you see mingyu? he totally sucked.”

a gasp rose from the accused, who immediately shot up, hands clasped over his chest. “how could you say that? that hurt my heart. and besides,” mingyu pouted while glancing distastefully at the other boys, “i wasn’t the only one who screwed up. why, chan kept on messing up that part! vernon was the one who got scolded by our choreographer the most! an-and jeonghan-hyu—ow! hyung!"

jeonghan leisurely stood back up, dusted his hands on his hoodie and shot mingyu a glare. “you dare to insult an angel? know your place, gyu.”

“chan!” 

all eyes instantly focused on the figure sitting in a corner of the room. the boy in question lifted his head, mumbling a reply with a quiet “yes?”

“come here. let’s practice that part again.” a sigh left their choreographer’s lips as she adjusted the music. “focus, okay? this part has to be perfect.”

but not matter how hard he tried or how many times he practiced, chan could not get it right. the other boys watched as the duo danced, again, and again, and again. no longer than ten minutes had passed and their choreographer was at the end of her tether.

“gosh, chan, what’s wrong with you today?” 

twelve minds thought of twelve answers, all exactly the same.

twelve lips shared twelve hidden smiles.

out of the thirteen boys, all knew. all, but one.

“i-i don’t know. i think i’m just tired. i’m sorry, i’ll work harder.”

09 : 31

jeonghan watched the boy leave the room, dollar bills poking out from his fist. poor kid. he thinks we forgot. he sighed as he chuckled to himself. that’s good, it’s all going according to plan. 

soonyoung sidled up to him. “hyung,” he whispered, nearly scaring the elder boy out of his wits, “is she here yet? when’s she gonna come?” his eyes sparkled with excitement and anticipation. “hyung, i can’t wait to see his reaction!”

“she’ll be here when we end,” jeonghan’s eyes settled on the wall clock of the practice room. “about an hour more.”

the notification that popped up on his phone told him otherwise though.

baby’s baby: i’m here :>

jeonghan’s eyebrows shot up. she’s here?

over his shoulder, soonyoung’s eyes expanded to the size of  saucers. “hyung, take the stairs. it’s faster.”

“i’ll be back.”

angel: already? hold on 

as he sprinted down, taking the stairs three at a time with a hand running through his hair, jeonghan’s mumbling got increasingly heated. 

“did she have to come an hour earlier? what if he sees her? then everything would be ruined! everything we worked so hard for would be ruined! why are kids so inconsiderate?” the adrenaline pulsed through his veins and the fire burned in his blood as he vehemently spat, “sometimes i just want to slap some consideration into them!” 

the second good thing about today was her mood.

she liked the way she dressed today. yes, it was her usual style, and yes, it was honestly nothing special, but she was in a good mood today. she left the house smiling, she didn’t forget anything and she looked pretty nice. 

was it magic? days like this were rare.

the walk to pledis was good too. people smiled at her. middle-aged aunties tending to flowers, young couples with hands intertwined, businessmen in suits and ties. their lips curved up when she passed them by, with a lilt in her steps that was never there. it was as if they knew where she was going, what she was doing and why she was doing it.

who could blame them, really, when her dreamy expression and the balloon in her hand made it all too obvious.

she was early too. maybe a little too early. sighing as she tucked her hair behind one shoulder, she sent a quick text to a certain self-proclaimed angel.

while awaiting his response, her hand found its way to her head, making sure no hair was out of place, and then she was dusting fluff off her skirt, adjusting her bag strap—she almost burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. why was she being like this? she was hardly ever this concerned about her appearance.

perhaps it was the excitement of surprising the person you love.

yeah, that was probably it.

a million thoughts raced through his mind as he saw her standing there. when did chan grow up? he now has a little lady friend to call his own. everyone expected jun to be first. wow, my baby is growing up :’). i can’t accept this. why is he growing up so quickly? what has he been eating? i need to kn—

the calling of his name brought him back to earth. she appeared in front of him, balloon nearly hitting him on the head. smiling sheepishly, she tugged it closer to her and looked up at him expectantly.

“you’re an hour early.”

cue the increase in size of said sheepish smile. “i know. i’m sorry. i just didn’t want to be late.”

jeonghan sighed as they made their way to the lifts. “it’s alright. it’s good to be early, but an hour early? are you nuts?” then with the biggest shit-eating grin plastered on his face, “or is this perhaps something only couples understand?”

at his comment, she turned pink. as pink as jihoon’s hair. 

well.

chan blushed too when he got teased.

“gosh, you’re just like him. but what would i, an innocent who has never experienced such a feeling, know, right?” he smirked as the hue on her cheeks deepened. 

attempting to change the subject, she held up the paper bag in her hands. 

“i have the cake.”

jeonghan nodded approvingly. “good good. you’re officially accepted to be my daughter-in-law.” they shared a laugh, both knowing the possibilities, before he continued, tone a little more serious. 

“you know where to go right?” at the nod of her head, he continued, “i don’t know how you’re going to entertain yourself, but i suppose you can do up the room a little more. rearrange stuff, add stuff, remove stuff, whatever floats your boat. set up the cake and banner. knock yourself out.” she nodded once more, and the lift doors opened. 

“i have to go practice now. good luck!”

she smiled back. “good luck!”

10 : 25 

back pressed against the wall, she admired her work. presents nicely arranged, balloons and streamers framing the mirror, the birthday banner, the lovely cake—and she didn’t smell bad.

well, what could she say? today was a really good day. 

the minute hand ticked closer and closer to six. hurriedly, she stood up and brushed herself off. they should be here by now. 

as if on cue, eleven boys started to file in, all whispering in hushed tones. 

“get into position, idiots. hurry!” 

“ooh, it’s jeonghan’s other baby. hello.” 

“hi.” 

“did you do all this?” 

“yeah.” 

“wow. very nice.” 

seungcheol’s command ceased the chatter. “alright guys, shh!” 

there were a few seconds of silence. then a giggle broke it. 

“i can hear him,” soonyoung wheezed. “he’s grumbling because we left him behind.” 

seungkwan whacked him on the head. “i can hear his footsteps. shut up!” 

“remember, shout ‘happy birthday’ when he walks in,” seungcheol whispered as the door knob turned. the countdown silently began. 

3. 

2. 

1…

10 : 29

the 19-year-old boy trudged along the deserted corridor, drink cans clutched tightly in his hands. his eyes brimmed with tears as he recalled his hyungs’ behaviour this morning. 

“did they really forget?” chan mumbled, taking small and heavy steps towards the practice room. a sigh escaped his lips. could he tell their choreographer that he wasn’t feeling well? the morning without birthday wishes or claps on the backs or hugs and kisses was enough to make chan feel sick. 

they had left him behind too. making him go and buy drinks from the vending machine two floors down and ditching him at a different practice room because of a “blackout”?

what an absolute load of nonsense. 

it was because he couldn’t perfect that one part, wasn’t it?

but it wasn’t his fault. they were the reasons why.

maybe it was true that nobody cared about the youngest ones. chan’s bottom lip trembled as the tears threatened to spill. maybe he was just insignificant in seventeen. they didn’t even tell him where they had shifted to. he had to ask one of the cleaners if they had seen twelve rowdy boys leaving practice room A.

no. that can’t be. we’re family, right? the small voice in his head repeated the quote that joshua always said. ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind. 

but even his own girlfriend did not send him a birthday greeting whatsoever. no text message, no video message, no snow story, no skype call or face time. did she know how long he had waited for his phone to light up? for the notification that read from: my love ♡  to pop up on the screen? 

a lone tear dropped onto his palm, shaking chan back to reality. it’s okay, chan. you’re strong. you aren’t going to let them see you cry, right? it hurts, but mum’s gonna send you something later. it’ll be alright. with a final swipe of his hand across his face, chan took a deep breath, held his head high and pushed the door open. 

“hyungs! here’s the drin—” 

but chan was blown away by the shout of “HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAN!” and suddenly the whole room erupted into hoots and balloons and faces and everything was blurring together into one big, happy, sparkly and beautiful mess.

“aw look! he’s crying!” soonyoung ruffled chan’s hair affectionately. this was followed by a bear hug, courtesy of minghao, who yelled, “jeonghan-hyung, your cliché blackout story actually worked!“ 

junhui pinched chan’s cheeks. “you’re so cute. you really thought we forgot, huh?”

jihoon laughed. “fat chance of that happening. we’re family, remember?” 

that made it even worse. chan was now straight up bawling into jeonghan’s chest. how could he have ever doubted them? they were right.

joshua was right.

seventeen was family.

and he knew they would never leave him behind.

seungcheol’s gentle hand coaxed him away from jeonghan’s embrace. “come here chan, let’s sing the birthday song. there’s someone whom you want to see and who wants to see you too.” 

and there she was. shining brighter than the nineteen candles sitting atop the cake. chan’s eyes curved into crescents. she, out of all people, would never forget a date like today. 

aish, i ought to hit myself. i am so so so stupid. the youngest in seventeen and also the dumbest. 

she looked so pretty right there and then. as they ended the birthday song with cheers and claps, chan found himself gravitating towards her and capturing her in a cuddle. 

“you’re here too.” he breathed her in. she smelt like flowers and warmth and home. he liked it. 

she giggled. “of course i’m here. i would never miss your birthday, you know.“ 

"i know.” chan sighed and closed his eyes. what was this feeling? was it bliss? happiness? he didn’t know. maybe one of his hyungs would. he’d make sure to ask later.

but there was one thing he did know: he loved everybody in the room. so, so, very much. 

the voice of their choreographer cut through the cheerful atmosphere. "come here everybody, gather round, i’ll help you take pictures.” she tutted as she reached for the camera. "wow, this looks really nice. like something out of a storybook. look here everyone! say ‘happy birthday chan’! 1, 2, 3!" 

23 : 05

she got one polaroid as a momento. "here,” their choreographer had said, “you’re his girlfriend. i picked the best one for you. go home and display it somewhere. if chan comes over and sees it, he’ll be very happy." 

as she tucked herself into bed that night, she rolled over to face her study table. the polaroid hung from a string strung across the cork board above her desk. and when sleep lulled her into dreamland, the only thing she remembered was how lovely the picture looked, with sparkles, streamers, happy faces and so full of love. oh, and how the stars twinkled so bright tonight. 

today, was indeed a fairy tale.

11 . 02 . 17 ♡ happy birthday, chan ♡

[elevatedvistas]

10 of Our Favorite Verses from Dreamville's Latest Signee, J.I.D (So Far)

So, you're a huge fan of J. Cole, and have recently heard about his label, Dreamville's latest acquisition in Atlanta's J.I.D, but you don't know where to start? We've got you covered. Since following J.I.D (pronounced as spelled, or "Jid") in 2011, not only has he been one of our favorite acts since the first song we heard him on, but we've followed his music very closely and are self-dubbed J.I.D scholars. In no particular order, here are 10 songs and verses from the ATLien that you simply must hear to get a full feel for what you're in for when he releases his Dreamville debut, "The Never Story", whose release date is still pending: OG Maco - Who Came to Party ft. J.I.D (Prod. Archibald Slim) https://soundcloud.com/og-maco/who-came-to-party-ft-j-i-d Probably our favorite pound for pound JID verse. At the time, it was the latest in the start of a string of collaborations for JID. This one hosted by OG Maco, who more than held his own in what we, here at Ev, may credit as the first song that we actually heard OG Maco really float and spit on--the track was featured on Maco's brilliantly titled, I Made This Shit Before You Guessed It. We probably wouldn't appreciate Maco as much as we do now if it weren't for this track that we initially peeped specifically to hear JID. Isn't music amazing? J.I.D - Never (Prod. Christo + Childish Major) https://soundcloud.com/jidsv/never-prod-by-christo-x-childish-major Never could arguably be credited with the distinction of being the song that really took J.I.D into that, "Ok, you GOTTA hear this guy" category. With a beautifully nasty cadence, and witty bars like, "I crept on the steps where the demon sleeps/and yell, belch to my Lord what He means to me. Oh, my God. Don't be mean to me", the first round of Never is a display of pure skill as the Zone 6 spitter rips apart the Christo-produced banger. Don't double back. You read that correct: the first round. The second round of Never features a production switch--this time brought to you by Childish Major--that is so opposite the spectrum of its predecessor, it's sure to catch your ear, and by the first bar--"What you call a chick that don't suck dick?/ Ya don't"--JID is sure to have your attention. There is some debate on which round of Never is the best, but most of us are just glad that these beats and these verses were put together for an epic clash of the titans that is one artist: J.I.D. J.I.D - Letters ft. 6lack, Marian Mereba, & PELL (Prod. ThaOfficials) https://soundcloud.com/jidsv/letters-feat-6lack-marian-mereba-pell Letters is one of JID's furthest strays from his usual lyrical onslaught to deliver an actual record with a concrete message. Assisted by 6lack (who has had maybe the biggest 2017 of any underground artist thus far), Marian Mereba (If you've never heard of her, don't you dare scroll past this name without making note), and the one-of-a-kind PELL, JID delivers a somber ode that is probably the darkest song he has put out to date, but also a possible glimpse into what the Little Dragon fanatic wants to do more of. It's an impressive song that more often than not, goes unmentioned by even the most solid JIDiens. J.I.D - M.O.M ft. Quinten Miller (Prod. Zeon) https://soundcloud.com/spillage-village-am/mom-feat-quentin-miller-prod-by-zeon A recent gem that may be the standout track on a super effort by the Atlanta collective, Spillage Village (Earthgang, J.I.D, Hollywood JB, Jordxn Bryant) that features The WDNGCRSHRS' Quinten Miller. M.O.M is JID's most recent collaboration, and neither he nor Miller let's us down for even a second. With a hook that ends, "Since she started f***ing me, her ass got fatter", it's not hard to notice JID's effortless control and balance of cadence, wit, lyrics, and melodies. MOM was probably a top 3 track from JID in 2016. You'd earn yourself a year long favorite song by simply clicking play on this one. J.I.D - Yellow Snow Freestyle (Prod. Christo) https://soundcloud.com/spillage-village-am/yellow-snow-freestyle-prod-by-christo Another standout track from Spillage Village's Bears Like This Too Much project, this one is more of a flex of lyrical muscle for the 27-year old MC. And, if you've listened to any other cuts on this list, you can understand that songs like Yellow Snow is where JID really thrives. A minimal hook that's catchy as it is different, and usually includes some humorous lyrics wrapped in air tight cadences. "My lil n*ggaz got lil n*ggaz, so I'm a grand n*gga" is one of our favorite JID bars, and he delivers it and many more like it over jazzy production that sounds like James Bond making a clean getaway as the building explodes behind him. One of the most unique songs on our list also may be the most funky JID record to date. Earthgang, 6lack, & J.I.D - BatMan Smells (Prod. Ryan Mellow) https://soundcloud.com/earthganghbt/earthgang-x-6lack-x-jid-batman-smells-prod-by-ryan-mellow BatMan Smells came out in December of 2014, and features JID, 6lack, and Earthgang. As referenced in its title, Batman Smells (a reference to the old Jingle Bells spoof) is a Christmas song. And, it is quite possibly our favorite Hip Hop Christmas song of the last 10 years. One could argue there haven't been enough Christmas themed songs in that time period to compare it to--which is fair--but that's also the beauty of Batman Smells. It's also very subtle in being a Christmas song. Hints include jingle bells at the beginning of the song, references to eggnog, and JID getting drunk with his aunties. If that's not Christmas, what is? J.I.D - UnderWear (Prod. Christo) https://soundcloud.com/jidsv/underwear "Melancholy cool. Matthew McConaughey!" One of the most fun, always relevant lines JID has dropped on wax that we have access to, UnderWear was J.I.D's 'Never' of 2015. Christo's production matched with JID's complex wordplay and playful-but-deadass-serious lyrics is an underrated combo that we fully expect to have more light shed on in the coming months. UnderWear finds J.I.D solo, aside from a couple of The Wolf of Wall Street quotes from the aforementioned McConaughey, and it may very well be his best track, depending on who you talk to. A lyrical trapeze act, UnderWear served its purpose by guaranteeing that the revolution was underwear. I mean, under way. J.I.D - Jiddeth https://vimeo.com/49116270 Jiddeth was the first song we heard JID solo on. And, it was like a tidal wave of vibes. The beat was slow, with a lone, long horn serving as its lead. It's a fairly simplistic beat that is undeniable southern. On Jiddeth, JID boasts about not doing this and not doing that, only to flip the script ten-fold and claim all of his vices, his Zone, and his own position as a flat out monster behind the mic. He does all of this with very little effort, and by the song's end, your head is bobbing, and you're leaning up in your chain, wondering, "How did ppl miss out on this guy for so long?" That's J.I.D. Earthgang - The First Scoop ft. J.I.D https://soundcloud.com/thepromogorilla/the-first-scoop Holding the honorable distinction of being the first record we heard JID on, The First Scoop is as impressive now as it was when it was released in 2012. JID dropped on our Twitter timeline via Earthgang (the song's main artists) like a bomb, and we immediately followed him after hearing his verse, which opens the record. Specifically, the bar that made our timeline lose its mind was a clever use of "Bye, Felicia" popularized by the movie Friday, and the expounding of why, according to JID, she had to go. The opening bars of JID's verse on The First Scoop are still relevant: "I hear a lot of n*ggaz talking about they ballin'/You ain't ballin' if the bill collectors callin'/talkin' about you missed a payment, couple installments/they finna cut your shit off, you should come by the office." Again, that's circa 2011. J.I.D - Bruuuh (Prod. Willie B) https://soundcloud.com/jidsv/bruuuh-prod-by-willie-b JID's most recent release that we were amped to check out, as it features production by The Ichiban Don himself, Willie B. TDE fans may recognize Willie B's name for producing gems such as Kendrick Lamar's Ignorance is Bliss, Poe Man's Dreams, & Rigamortis, and Ab-Soul's Showin' Love. We're huge TDE fans, and particularly were at the height of our fandom when all of those productions dropped. So, Willie has been on our favorite producers list for years. That being the case, when we saw him tweet JID about a finished track, we couldn't help but be fans of the song right then and there. Appropriately titled "Bruuuh" for its ridiculous rhyme patterns and instrumentation (and for the collaboration, itself), the listener can insert a good, "Bruuuh" anywhere in the entire song, and it would be fitting. Once again, JID sprints a marathon and absolutely levels a Willie B production. To lovers of credits, this was probably JID's most important collaboration yet, as it was a sort of cosign that--even if not necessarily needed--aided and continues to aid in what we believe will be a stratospheric take off for one of the most talented MC's we've ever met, covered, or heard. Straight up. If you call yourself a Hip Hop head like we do, here at Elevated Vistas, and haven't heard JID, we're encouraging you to do so--and, soon. Because as with JID's signing to Dreamville, his explosion onto the Hip Hop scene by way of your television and radio is only a matter of time. Congratulations to Dreamville for signing one hell of an artist. And, most importantly, congratulations to JID--the latest example of an elite rapper getting the exposure and rewards that he is justly due. And, the best part? It's only just begun. Congratulations, JID. We're still rooting for you. Honorable Mention: J.I.D - Liverpool ft. Earthgang, J.I.D -October/3 Storms ft. Earthgang J.I.D - Sia, J.I.D - Pro-Verbs, Earthgang x J.I.D - Ten Ten Follow J.I.D on Twitter: @jidsv Follow us on Twitter: @ElevatedVistas Written by Ida Wonyaluv