#Genuen compleat fucking drabble

[omi-papus]

Ryley: Sooooo you have me wondering if you maybe have some… feelings, for this “friend” you're dragging us both to water hell for.

He spoke almost as if to tease him but clearly not intending to be funny as his mood was as apprehensive as could be, even if he had come down from the absolute melt down he'd been reliving every day for the past week. The other man sitting not too far away at the control panel slumped forward, burying his face in his hands.

Cal: That would make a lot more sense now wouldn't it?

Ryley shifts in his chair, sitting weirdly, but apparently he was comfortable. He raised an eyebrow.

Ryley: ¿Is that a yes or…?

He sighed again. Calvin sure did sweat a lot, the other man noticed, only because he could see the stains on his shirt, this was the kind of time that he was sort of glad the prolonged exposure to that planets ungodly salty water permanently fucked up his sense of smell.

Cal: No. No, I don't like Robin like that. Nobody believes me when I say that and if I'm being completely honest, I don't blame them.

Ryely: They probably do because you seem to be a bit too smart to just do all this for a crazy person for nothing in return.

Cal: Clearly I'm not that smart…

Ryley: There's plenty of ways to be stupid. It's very normal to be both smart and stupid at once.

Cal: The hell is that supposed to mean?

Ryley: I don't know, you're smart enough to break me out of jail and dumb enough to WANT to go into 4546b.

Calvin breathed heavy again. That's the kind of phrase he'd use to describe Robin. He thought it wise no to mention that less the escapee started questioning him about his thoughts on that dumbass woman again. It did feel… strange to be put in such a role.

To be the crazy one.

Cal: You're strong enough to knock me out and run. And you've already said you'd rather be in prison than with me, so I wouldn't buy that you're staying here cause you're afraid of Alterra catching you again.

He made eye contact, with something that wasn't quite confidence but definitely wit.

Cal: Why exactly are you still here?

Ryley didn't flinch. That's because he realized this himself the night before. And until now he was actually trying to answer that very question. Sucked that he had to externalize it like this but oh well, maybe talking about it might help him figure it out.

Ryley: Sympathy maybe. Probably pity is the better word.

Cal: For my friend?

Ryley: For you.

Another wave of exhaustion and emotion thrashed through Calvin as he sat a little straighter, trying to find the right words for a second.

Cal: You. You have pity on me. The sole survivor of the Aurora.

Ryley: Is this you feeling pathetic or some sort of “you've suffered so much yet you still care about my dumb problems” thing you're doing right now?

Calvin will never be able to understand why those comments don't make him want to punch him. Even being downright insulted by him felt so dry and intentionless it just made him feel nothing.

Cal: It's freaky how perceptive you are sometimes.

They were fully facing each other now, both fully thrown comfortably and ungracefully onto their chairs. The same way you would, if you were talking utter nonsense with your friends at the end of a drunken party in university.

Ryley: Dude that's not some incredibly complicated social cue to understand. Get a grip.

Cal: Well I'd expect the guy who hasn't talked to a single human in two years to be a little behind on his social skills.

Ryley: I forgot how to speak after a while.

He phrased it as if he expected it to instantly halt the flow of conversation. Some sort of ultimatum, that would make the other instantly regret everything he said and beg for their forgiveness.

Cal: Yhea, laryngeal muscles can atrophy if you don't use them enough and experienced divers learn not to scream often to preserve oxygen. With how you were living, your vocal cords were probably incredibly weak after a while. Especially if you're really one of those people that don't record PDA journals.

Ryley: What the fuck?

He stared at him with a look that was utterly flabbergasted. He couldn't decide if that was insensitive, tone deaf, or actively malicious to say, but it sure as hell left him floored.

Cal: Or are you saying you got some sort of brain damage? Cause if so, you recovered amazingly well, like damn.

Ryley: …

Ryley: Are you trying to fuck with me?

Cal: No…? What… was I supposed to answer to that exactly?

Ryley: l don't know! “Oh I'm so sorry that happened to you”. Like a normal person!

For the first time in a while, Calvin made a face that didn't look like he wanted to digest his own eyelids, one of genuen inocent confusion.

Cal: I figured you didn't want me to pity you.

Ryley: I don't!

Cal: Did you just want me to feel bad or what?

Ryley: Yes! Obviously!

Cal: You know a normal person wouldn't admit that even if it was true.

Ryley: Oh yes, and I'm the most normal person in the world, sure.

Cal: You seem a lot more normal than me. Like you said, I'm heading to 4546b ON PURPOSE. Youre the victim of an accident, and sure youre sure as hell not “normal” as in just about no one in the galaxy has cured the fucking Kharaa, but thats like, renound hero type of “not normal”

He was sounding EXACTLY like Robin right now, and it made him want to vomit.

Ryley: Sucking my dick would be a lot easier than trying to win me over with a speech.

Cal: You're gross, is that a request or a joke?

Ryley: Obviously a joke.

Cal: Well with you its kind of hard to fucking tell.

Ryley: I don't remember flirting with you at any point so I don't know why youd suddenly think I'd seriously mean that now.

Cal: You're a weirdly honest guy! I honestly feel like I have to work duble to take everything you say as completely literal.

Ryley: Oh sure I'm just SUCH an angel.

Cal: Fuck you.

Ryley: Feel free. I dont charge.

Cal: Again?

Ryley: And I'll do it a third time if you dont stop being a kiss ass.

Cal: I'm not kissing your ass!

The man was the most lively he'd ever seen him. Ryley noticed that only when he was angry or annoyed he hopped out of that utterly depressing state of exhaustion and misery he seemed to be permanently stuck in. It suddenly clicked in his head why this “Robin” character was apparently so fond of teasing him. It seemed to be the only way his heart would pump enough blood to not make him go into a coma.

Ryley: I'm sure you'd love to kiss a lot more than just my ass.

Cal: Oh my god, go fuck yourself.

He spat and turned back to the control panel, fully intending to go back to his work and probably drown in it for the next few days. Ryley decided he was going to be nice enough to spare him that fate for a couple of hours.

Ryley: With thoughts of you, I'll do that every night.

Cal: This is literally sexual harassment. Stop!

He didn't look at him. Though he could see his cheeks were red.

Ryley: Does it actually bother you that much?

Ok if he genuinely felt like that, he wasn't about to be that much of a dick. He'd watched enough company seminars to know how shitty that stuff actually is.

Cal: Yes! Now cut it out!

Ryley: Alright, I'm sorry.

Cal: …

He looked back at him with scrutiny, Ryley slowly feeling more regretful, guess those jokes werent as funny as they were to his Aurora roommates.

Ryley: I… I wont say shit like that anymore ok? Calm down.

Cal: Thank you.

He concluded indignantly. They both sat in silence for a moment, Cal seemed somewhat fidgety like he couldn't quite concentrate on his typing or the words on the monitor, eventually he just stopped, but still faced away from him.

Cal: But if you want to talk about that so bad, tell me, is it true that there's all that sex stuff in prison?

Ryley came to life a little bit. Not surprised that he was talking to him again but that he picked such a topic.

Ryley: Didnt happen to me, and the case I've actually heard of where two cell mates that were beside me, that actually seemed to genuinely really like each other. It was weird and definitely annoying to have to listen to when they did go at it, no clue if they were actually full on banging, with no access to, well anything, but they sure yelled a lot. Outside of that it genuinely seemed like they had something.

Cal: Huh. That's a lot more wholesome than I expected.

Ryley: Yeah it was actually kind of hopeful to see. Good thing they were both strong as hell so they never had to worry about anyone bothering them for it.

Cal: That's… kind of sick actually.

Ryley: Yhea.

After the brief awkward silence, Calvin turned around again slightly.

Cal: Did you have anyone? Before the Aurora?

Ryley: No. I'd like to say there's more to it but I just don't date much. It's very rare for spaceship crew, especially Alterra staff. Since there's a whole lot of clauses you have to fill for that.

Cal: Sounds like Alterra…

Ryley: I would gladly become an Alterra employee over a prisoner again, thank you very much, but whatever. And since you're not actually trying to get into these Robins pants. How about you?

Cal softened a little bit, simply at the fact that he didn't even tease him, he just believed him about his relationship with Robin. Ryley couldn't yet begin to understand how appreciated that was.

Cal: I had a fiance.

Ryley: Had. Yikes. How did that go down?

Cal: She thought I was in love with Robin…

Ryley suddenly widened his eyes slightly, instinctively scooting his chair closer to the other man.

Ryley: Hmm… sounds awkward.

Cal: She hated her the whole relationship, I don't quite get why. They were apparently friendly with each other before we started dating. But when we became a thing she just seemed to absolutely loathe her.

Ryley: Did she hate all your other friends too?

Cal: …

Cal: Whatever. When I proposed she said yes with the condition that I cut Robin out and…

Ryley: You said no.

The man suddenly slumper forward again, face in his hands once more. Ryley was left a bit shocked by the sudden exasperated gesture.

Cal: That would make a lot more sense now wouldn't it?

He whispered pathetically. Ryley got even closer. Face almost losing any previous sign of aggression or sarcasm.

Cal: That was at around the same time my friend's sister died. And she insisted on going to 4546b.

Ryley suddenly deflated.

Ryley: You're kidding me.

Cal: I wish I was…

The ship suddenly sounded a lot quieter, or maybe his breathing had just gotten louder.

Cal: I thought it was the only way to give everyone what they wanted. I… I don't know how I could be so stupid…

He sounded like he was confusing this for the very first time, and Ryley genuinely had to wonder if he was.

Cal: She left me anyway… Guess… I guess she saw how much I regreted letting her do that, and decided it wasn't enough.

The other man could no longer decide who was the villain of this story. Until now he was under the impression that Cal was a helpless puppy that was dragged around by everyone around him, and that was still true, but that he essentially lead someone to their death by allowing them near 4546b to get rid of them…

Ryley: And if she hadn't left… Would you not regret what you did?

Cal: Of course I would! I begged my fiance to help me! I thought that even she would understand that nobody deserves that fate and she just insisted that I wanted to fuck her and I just…

He hid his face within his arms against the terminal, not caring how many buttons he was pressing and how that was messing up his code. Ryley was left to sit there and reflect. He could at least decide that he definitely didn't like the fiance, and it definitely concerned him how Cal would have been willing to date and even marry someone so seemingly psychopathic. His feelings towards Cal felt a lot more skewed now that he knew his mistake was at least partially motivated by a petty romantic scuffle. Still, he felt bad for him, even if what he said before felt very true, that Ryley was the one who suffered the most, Calvin had a way of just appearing so utterly miserable that it made him seem even more jaded than himself.

And that was a bad thing. A very bad thing.

Ryley: You won't survive 4546b if You're this depressed before even going in. Not even those precursors could handle it, you'll die.

Cal peaked part of his face out of his hideout. Still refusing to properly look at anything.

Cal: You've ever heard the phrase “Adventurers don't go crazy down in the abyss, because anyone whos in there was already insane”?

Ryley: …No, what movie are you trying to quote right now?

Cal: That's what my father told me once. I could never figure out if he actually made it up or took it from somewhere, but it stuck with me, and now I feel like I understand it more than ever.

Ryeley: You do realize you're calling us both insane, right?

The older man tiredly took his face out of his hands, giving Ryley a slight relief when he confirmed he wasn't crying. He lifted himself up and leaned towards the other ever so slightly, a solid distance, but the firmest eye contact Ryley had ever been given. It felt somewhat heavy on his heart how at that moment it hit him that even when his words could easily be interpreted otherwise, no one had ever made him feel as wholeheartedly respected as Calvin did.

Cal: You know you are.

The survivor took a deep breath and squared his shoulders, looking right back at him with as much of that beholden intensity as he could imitate.

Ryley: Yhea. I am.