#Genshin impact Dottore x reader angst

[orenjikaraka]

Shattered hearts

Il Dottore x reader angst

Summary: In 3.2, Dottore takes both gnosis, the electro and the dendro, and ya’ll know all his segments are dead 💀; but what if this happened, Dottore made his deal with Nahida, but he made a exchange for Nahida’s assistant (reader) instead of the electro gnosis, the exchange was for the deaths of his segments, Nahida didn’t want too, but reader insisted; She insisted because she wanted to protect her hometown and Nahida. Nahida was sobbing but she excepts your offer. Reader said her goodbyes and went with Dottore. Two years has passed as you being his assistant; through those two years. Reader notices his routines and how he noticed how a nice and beautiful woman can change someone perspective; they both got fairly close; but the fatui are not on point with these new notices and closeness, so they have to take it by hand… (Also there’s an age gap in this AU, Dottore is 41 and reader is 28; thats a 13 years age gap, i do like my older men 🥺 also Dottore sometimes speaks in lab terms.) also also, i think Dottore looks amazing like this beautiful art that how he gonna look like in this AU and go follow the artist by the way they’re amazing!

Suggestion of a song I was listening to while writing this.

Warnings: deep angst, blood, blood lose, starvation, cursing, depression, soft Dottore, spoilers for Dottore real name (Zandik), deep guilt, character death, and sad ending

Word count: 5279

(Y/n)’s POV

“GET AWAY FROM HER!!” Dottore said

Everything felt heavy around You, the astrosphere of your surroundings were slightly blurred from the tears and crimson blood that was flowing out of your body, your chest felt like a burning sun was going right through you, (Y,n) tried to move her eyes to look at Dottore, he was being pulled down, by two fatui guards, he was trying to break there strong grip, but no budge, (Y/n) tried to move her hand forward, but got crushed by a boot, “AAAAAAAAAAA-“ the boot move fairly quickly to (Y/n) mouth to shut her up.

“Shut your mouth princess, we don’t want your boyfriend to get anymore feisty then he already is-“

“I will fucking dissect you and use your organs as fuel for my fucking fireplace if you, LEAVE HER FUCK ALONE.”

‘Zandik…’

The fatui member just laughed because he knows damn well, Dottore can’t do shit, they took his special abilities away, his knifes, his living space, EVERYTHING, the only things he has is what he’s wearing when (Y/n) and him first meet at Sumeru…

“I’m soo scared Mr Dottore, OH WAIT, your not in the fatui anymore, no more 2nd class fatui harbinger, NO MORE Mr doctor to be called, because you broke a rule!”

Dottore felt deflated because he just lost all his progress because… because of me, ‘why… did- why did i insisted. he lost everything, his work, his segments, and… just- everything just gone…” While Dottore looked to the ground, he then looked up, “no, I haven’t.”

“And what makes you say that?”

“I still have my assistant.” He looked at (Y/n) through his mask but his lips was quivering.

“Aww how disgusting… HEY YOU” the fatui member pointed at the member that was holding Dottore down on his left. “Take his mask off, he doesn’t deserve or have the right to wear that mask. Also I just wanted to see what he looked like.”

The left fatui member yanked Dottore mask off in a harsh way, he threw it across the room, “damn your a lot older, I thought you were in your early 30s”

Dottore just looked at him with burning hatred.

“Welp enough chit chat, time to put this sick puppy to sleep.

“NO!? LET GO OF ME!!”

(Y/n) never knew that a man that's been called a psychopath or a monster, can have so much emotion to someone. The man moved his boot to your arm, and faced a shotgun, right on the tip of your skull. The cold tip of the gun gave shivers down your spine, soft whipping came from your gentle voice and it frightened Dottore to the bone.

“No- no please I beg-“

“Wow, I've never seen such a sight.”

A deeper and much rougher voice walked in the room.

‘Captaino?!?’

“Let her go, I have orders to execute her.”

The fatui member moved his feet off (Y/n) and gave the shotgun to Captaino and ran off. Captaino saw how (Y/n) was trying to get up, but Captaino put the cold tip of the shotgun on your head again. And you paused.

“I suggest you don’t get up… crawl instead.”

“Why…”

“Do you want to die?”

(Y/n) started crawling slowly to Dottore, Captaino was watching from afar but he was counting.

“Stop— sto- stop please” to Dottore cry was out of this world. “Dottore… help-“ “sweetheart- please just-“

Dottore try to move out again, squirming to break free, Captaino was slowly walking up to (Y/n), he saw how much blood was on the floor, painting crimson all over the concrete flooring. Dottore was panicking because each time Captaino got closer, he felt like he'd be a nobody without you, "please pick me— not her- I’ll do anything- please!!!” Captaino put the shotgun on the tip of her skull… “Nahida… I’m sorry— I’m sorry, I failed you, I’m sorry Zan-“

“Shut your mouth, you rat!”

“PLEASE— please just pick me- leave her be-“

Everything felt more heavy, your body felt slightly colder than before, your eyesight is fading slowly, ‘please…’

Dottore POV

Dottore eyes were clenching shut ‘NO- NO- NO, please oh archons please…’

Suddenly he felt cold, frostbite cold, his body was slowly getting colder by mere seconds, he opened his eyes and saw a cryo vision, the right fatui member saw it too and tried to grab it but right when he let go of Dottore. Dottore snatched it, ‘I’m such a fool.’ Then he found out he can have fast cryo speeds and swoop up (Y/n).

“SEES HIM”

‘Fuck what else can this mechanism can do!?!?”

As Captaino was inches from the both of you, you both teleported; leaving an icy debris where they were at.

“Find them now!!!”

—- time skip —-

When Dottore opened his eyes he was laying on the ice cold snow, snow was slowly falling from the sky, which made him panic and stopped him from his calm trance, he sat up and looked below his chest and saw (Y/n). “Sweet Thing-“ he immediately checked your pulse and your heart was fine? You were breathing normally but.- he checked your stomach region and it was covered in snowy ice, “how long was I sleep-“ Dottore heard a whipper and look at your face, you were crying softly and he just now noticed you slightly shaking, “I-

“SEARCH, I WANT THERE HEADS ON A STICK, LOOK FOR THAT WOMAN’S BLOOD”

Dottore is sweating bullets now, he looked to his left and saw Captaino screaming for murder. “Fuck- ok ok.” He looked back at you with panic, “don’t worry I- I got you- just… Shezhnaya to Sumeru, just- *gulp* fuck…”

“There!?!”

His heart was racing like a wildfire, “just Shezhnaya to Sumeru-“ “KILL THEM.” “Just- FUCK- just Shezhnaya to Sumeru” Dottore was holding you tighter and tighter from each step the fatui took, “just Sumeru please-!”

Teleport

“They got away sir-“

Shot

The agent’s body fell limp to the ground, blood spewing out of his skull leaving a crimson snowflake to the ground.

“Dispose the body, his family won’t be very happy about the news. That he failed to do a simple order.”

— time skip —

Dottore was holding (Y/n) and Fell to the concrete ground on his back, “physics…” then he got a spear above his face, it was a Sumeru guard, he was shocked that he made it to Sumeru but felt so lightheaded and drained, “how the hell did you got here, and stand up!” Dottore tried but he felt like he was gonna puke, “please- I just need her to be at- a medical station or a doctor- she’s bleeding badly-“ the guard kept his spear at him and moved his head to see (Y/n) and fear was his eyes, “(Y/n)!?” The guard dropped his spear and picked (Y/n) up brittle style, and ran to the big green palace, “good- *sniff* fuck-“ tears ran down Dottore eyes, weak sorrowful tears that just won’t stop, he put his gloved hands on his eyes, to hide his shame from everyone, the two guards that were around protecting Nahida palace were shocked, Dottore just remembered he has trackers on his vest and boot, so his “fatui friends” would “help” and find him, he got the one in his left side of his vest and frosted it and smashed it in his palm and try to sit up again because there was one under boot, ‘“tch”, and slowly got up, and took it and frosted that one and smashed it, one of the guard’s from the palace; walk up to Dottore and point a spear to Dottore’s face, “why did you destroy those-“ “how idiotic can you simpletons can be, I destroy my trackers so no- no one get… fuck… hurt” the guard noticed Dottore was clutching his stomach region, “how did you- teleported here?”

Dottore couldn’t care less so he showed the guard the cryo vision, “a delusion?”

“No, my vision…”

The guard tried to speak up again but Dottore shut him up.

“I got it, from saving (Y/n), she was dying, and…”

Suddenly Dottore felt prickles in his abdomen, small roses spikes that were stabbing his insides, it felt like it was growing up fast, slowly going up his throat, “aa— *cough* *cough*” rose petals were coughing up from his throat, the guard was worryingly confused until Nahida came into view. “Leave.” The guard walked back to his post, “didn’t I tell you were banished from coming here.”

“Yes— but- *cough* I was banished from Shezhnaya too—“ “So you think you can just come back-“ “No—“

The prickles were getting to his lungs, it was hard to breathe, “I— *gasp* I wanted to save— fuck— I can’t—“ “CANT what Il Dottore!” “I— COULDN'T LEAVE HER- OK—“ Dottore was trying to breathe but couldn’t, with little strength he had he punched his chest to try to break the prickles, but that just made it worse, he just coughed out some more blood and crimson petals, his lightheaded head was turning to a migraine, “please— I’m- *gasp* sorry I took her from you—“ Nahida was shocked… hearing a man that use to have so much pride and thought everything was a sick joke; begging, begging for his life, Nahida sighed, and killed off the roses that she made his body, Dottore gasped for air and had some coughing fit but at least he was breathing again…

“When you feel alright I want you out, out of this region, you are banned from seeing (Y/n), i hope you rot in the abyss.”

And Nahida just walked back to her palace not even looking back.

Dottore laid on the ground for a while, waiting for his dear (Y/n) to recover…

— time skip (3 hours past) —

After he felt recovered, by using his cryo elements, to put some ice on his wounds, he waited by the stairs, while his wounds slowly heal, he felt so exhausted, this migraine isn’t helping either, he growled in frustration; he started to stare at his gloves again and put his gloved hands to his forehead, and a ice coolness cooled his head, a sigh of relief came out of him, until he heard one of the guards from the palace coming near him, “scram…”

“I should be the one saying That to you.” The guard spoke.

“…”

“Hey don’t ignore me. Leave and leave-“

“This region I get it…”

Dottore slowly got up, he felt dizzy, ‘fuck’ “leave!” “Tch…” and slowly walked down the long steep walkway, the sun felt hotter than usual, ‘I hope I’m not having a fever… Well lots of blood loss, open wounds, using cryo to close them up, having an awful migraine, and out of breath.’ He slowed his pace and made it to the bottom, food stations were everywhere, Dottore was breathing heavy; he sweating bullets, “fu— *breathing heavy* where’s a chair or bench—“ as Dottore was panting while looking downward , a woman came up with concern, “sir are you-?” While Dottore looked up just the slightest, she had a horrified look, “sorry- I must go!” Dottore felt miserable, ‘stupid face, stupid scar, stupid people…” when he felt less dizzy, he straightened himself up but hid his face with a hand when someone looked, he slowly walked through treasures street and passed the grand bazaar entrance, ‘damn this heat’.

Everyone was staring daggers and disgusted looks, he sighed in a shaking breath, and walked to the fence and leaned on it, two people were talking behind the blacksmith building and saw Dottore, and ran off.

Dottore just groaned in disappointment; ‘Not a single person is gonna help me, hehe , why wouldn’t they, I murdered countless of people, test subjects thousands or maybe even millions over the years, strangled men and women’, he put his gloved hands over his face, he shakily soft laughed, ‘how do you care for someone like me, you were afraid of me at first, but you just had me wrapped around your sweet little finger, showing the equivalent of love in a short while of time, how touch starved, I can be around you, I always wanted to try to get close to you but the law and the act in Shezhnaya is to not get close to someone, show no emotions, no love, just pure rage, and arson, everywhere you walk; you were afraid of Shezhnaya, terrified of me… but you stop being fearful, instead of fear, you were concerned and worried about me, why— why were you concerned about me, is because to torment me, to change my motives, for the good and not for the rotting evil of a harbinger’, his hands were freezing up slowly, ‘why— was it because it took me a year to finally understand what you were doing to me… how— you just…

No, no— what am I saying, you were a woman that got tooken away from your homeland, so of course, she needed someone else to talk to… and you just talking to me, made me feel vulnerable, haven’t felt that in years, being slightly immoral, can be so lonely and trapped, but you changed that, which— fuck.. god damn it!… Hehe—‘ his lips started to quiver; and he slowly turned his back to the fence and sat down on the concrete floor, he put his head back with his eyes closed… ‘What am I gotta do with you, oh (Y/n)…’

—- time skip —

The small nap was interrupted by there royal fucking guards again, “didn’t I tell you to scram.”

“Didn’t I tell you, I have no were to go…”

“I don’t care, you need to leave.”

“I can't leave this place that far anyway, I’ll be dead in mere seconds…”

“And-“

“I’m already dying anyway, I’m using my ice to repeatedly covering up my wounds, I feel unsteady when I walk, I’m just stuck here with no medical attention-“

“Don’t you have your own medical supplies, you are called the doctor.”

Dottore looked like he was about to murder this man. “They took my supplies at Shezhnaya and I can’t get any, because everyone is afraid of me…” he said while gritting his teeth.

“Yeah, because you're a murder and a freak.”

Dottore’s anger turned to disappointment because of hearing it again or just several times. “Tch” the guard left with annoyance, ‘just leave me the fuck alone… I’ll skin you…’ Dottore sighs and lays his head on his knee. After some minutes his stomach growled, ‘I can handle this later’ and rest his migraine away…

— time skip (the next day) —

Dottore woke up from his stomach growling again, but it slightly hurt this time, ‘hmm how long was I asleep…' ' he felt undizzy, his wounds felt a lot better, but they felt they might reopen again, if he doesn’t be careful. So he slowly got up and rubbed the dirt off, and looked up and saw the dark blue sky filled with stars, he looked back at the stalls and saw people still working, he walked past the blacksmith and went to his left, and arrived at the first food stall.

“May I-“ the person at the stall, put a close sign up and rushed to the back of his stall. “Fine.”

Walked to the next

“Can-“ and did the same thing but covered his shop up.

‘Idiots’

He walked to several others but they all said no, the last one was the bar and they locked it, before he even knocked on the door, “FINE.” He walk up to one of the tables and sat down on one of the chairs, it was more comfortable then, sitting on the concrete, he put his arms on the table and rest his head on them, trying to ignore his stomach even though it hurts, each time it growled, he sucked his stomach in to stop the pain, the guard from either was walking passed by and saw Dottore, he shocked his head walked away to his spot again.

‘Darn this body’ Dottore put his head back down. A couple minutes passed and a brave young waitress came up to him.

“Sir, you-“

“I need to leave, I get, but I can’t go anywhere, because…” he puts his head up with annoyance, “If I leave, I die, I have a bounty on my head, from the fatui, I can’t go to liyue, mondstadt, Shezhnaya, or any other regions, you can think of, because apparently I’m still fatui to everyone but I’m not.

“Why is-“

“Why you might ask, because a archon I made a deal with, to take her assistant instead of the electro gnosis, because I thought I NEEDED an assistant because all my segments were dead; so I did. And what did that get me?”

“…”

“A change of perspective in life…”

“And that’s a bad thing, why?”

“It’s not… I just… I don’t know, I lost all my work, because of a single person…”

There was an awkward silence. Not until Dottore’s stomach was craving for food once more, it made Dottore look away from embarrassment. She saw how he slightly tense up each time it craved.

“Do you… have mora?”

“I do…”

“I'll.. try to negotiate with my boss, and give you one of are menus”

Dottore looked back dumbfounded, “you're not scared of me?”

“No, well maybe a little, everyone knows what you did in the past was terrible, but you definitely changed, when you got down here you didn’t even attack anyone or hurt anyone, even when the other stores faked out they were sold out or they were closed, you just walk off… I saw you when you first walked down the walkway; when I was doing food deliveries…so don’t beat yourself up… I’ll be right back…”

She went back inside, and tried to negotiate with her boss. It took an hour in a half but she came back with not a menu but a well down steak, with potatoes and fish fries on the side and also put down a glass of water, “sorry, we argue for awhile, so while we argued I made a meal for you, I hope you like it. If not, I can change it.”

Dottore was so focused on the food in front of him that he forgot the waitress was there, he shook his head and looked at the waitress, “sorry dear, and the food looks delicious so no changes but here.”

Instead of giving mora he gave a gold coin, it almost looked like a gold nugget, but it was certainly not mora. She was shocked, her eyes were slightly puffy, “also this is for your boss, for hiring an amazing chef.” He gave yet another gold coin. He was about to pick up his fork, but she hugged him. “Thank you— so much—“ his body tense up, but she let go, “ *sniff* also you're not terrifying as people say you are; having a massive scar on your face doesn't make you look scary, you're actually quite handsome- well thank you again, have a good meal!” And she left.

‘I’m not terrifying’ he touched his face with his left hand, and touched his scar. ‘Handsome…’ he put his hand down and was about to eat again until he heard her boss cheering with joy from inside the bar.

“You're welcome.”

And started to eat his food.

— time skip (the next day) —

Dottore felt at ease, walking around Sumeru, less stares happened around, some people pity him, some of them stare with hatred, and some look with sad looks, the little waitress incident probably brought the whole town on a good note. Even some nurses or doctors ask for medical facts, which was surprising. Nahida was still a bit, spectacle on Dottore, so she made Al Haitham have a close eye on him.

While he was walking he was thinking back to what you said, when you both were at his lab.

—

“Why do you test on humans anyway?”

“To check what was their cause of death, to see their blood cells can generate more blood cells than any normal human being, to see if their soul can go into mechanical matter, or you might say a robot or droids.”

“Has.. anyone healed much faster than a normal being?

“No. Haven’t got anyone to heal much faster than anyone, I would say only archons can do that, not unless you kill them fast enough.”

(Y/n) kinda tense up from that. Dottore noticed this. And looked back on his notes.

“Sorry dear, I know if I frighten you but I’m not thinking of hurting lesser lord kusanali, or have her dead, I haven’t killed an archon in years so you're fine.”

“You killed archons.”

“Some but very few, couldn’t get samples. I was planning to help with my segments but that’s a long waste now.”

“What if… you found someone with that ability?”

He finally looked back up with a questionable look, “if I did I would’ve been more immoral than I already am?”

“You're immortal?”

“Not really, but I can age once every 50 years.”

“That’s pretty short compared to archons.”

“It is… but why do you ask?”

“Umm… I used to have a friend that was half archon, she lived half the life span as an archon does, but that’s still more than any other humans, she meant.”

“Is she-“

“She passed away years ago from a spear to the heart.”

“…”

“But she could've lived longer, if the spear missed her heart by some inches she would’ve lived, they said when she was comatose sometimes the only way you knew she woke up or fully healed is when it rains…”

“Was her mother, Amphitrite.”

“Yes.”

“And her father?”

“A human of course, but unknown.”

“Maybe… nevermine.”

And he went back to his studies.

—-

‘Half-achron…’

When he was walking up to the green palace to see if he could check on (Y/n) , it started to rain… it started to drizzle, but when he got closer to the last steps. It was pouring, his coat was getting soaked but he couldn’t care less…

“Shot it’s pouring hard…”

“Yeah…” Both guards said; they both walked back to the palace.

Until…

Door slam open

“Zandik!?!”

“Your- your a-“

Before he could say anything else.

She flew right in his arms, he had to take aback what happened, ‘you have wings, you have hydro vision, you— you're the half archon?!?!’

“I’m— sorry I didn’t tell you, who I was-“

“You were terrified (Y/n), I wouldn’t doubt you for telling me before either…”

She just softly giggled, they both hugged for a while until Nahida stepped out, she was frustrated, she didn’t even notice Dottore, , “(Y/n)! You're still healing-“ she saw Dottore, she wanted to stop him, but after she saw (Y/n) genuinely happy, her frustration cooled down, she had a sad but forgiving smile, she walked down gently. Little music notes each time she stepped, the rain was lessing out, to a soft drizzle.

Dottore looked down at (Y/n) and (Y/n) looked back, she had shuck a gentle smile, then he looked at her wings, they were like blobs of water, but as shiny as sapphires, gentle gemstones that can shatter in a simple touch. He put his hand through her wings, they were warm, “your hands are cold even through your gloves”, “sorry… still new to these visions…” “hehe”, her laugh was generally cute… “is your vision really next to your heart…”

“It is…” she made her vision glow; her skin glowed slightly where her heart was located. “I’m very fragile; when there’s no rain out; I’ll be shattered like a glass heart; lefted like dirt and grime; lefted like the abyss.”

“But when there is rain, your power grows like a sunflower, looks beautiful, when it consumes sunlight, but mellows down when there isn’t…”

(Y/n)’s cheeks blushed, which made Dottore chuckle; closed his eyelids and delicately kissed her forehead, “then I’ll treat you delicately like a sweet little sunflower, love…”

The drizzling was just near drips.

Click

Dottore's eyes shot and looked to the stairway that was leading downward and saw Captaino, he had a gun that had a large harpoon at the end of it, pointing at (Y/n). He moved her behind him, and the drizzle slowly went back to rain.

“Sorry to cancel your plans, but oh Dottore, we wouldn’t want your poor princess to be hurt don’t we…”

“Back. Off.”

“So demanding. when it comes to her, I wonder… is it because she is a half-archon.”

Dottore was about to speak up, but…

“Oh I knew from the very start; when she arrived to are quarters, when the harbingers and I saw you stepped in with her, we thought you were going show some murderest game, that was going to a irrupt, but we got it all wrong, that little glass heart was your assistant, how she hid behind you, when we had other meetings, I did some digging and found out that she’s a little straight angle of a archon, her other half is a mere human; I kept silent for so long, because i was wondering, what in the world are you toying with a half-fucking-archon.”

“…”

“Hehe, but you weren’t toying with her, your cold shivering heart, couldn’t seem to understand how a kind and beautiful sunflower can change your reality…”

“Hmmp, I guess that’s why they put me as the 2nd harbinger; I’m well known for my facts that… how should I say it… oh! That love can show more meaning than some garbage gadgets.”

Captaino was silent and pointed the gun at Nahida. He shot the harpoon at Nahida, Dottore put an ice wall before the harpoon could hit her.

“Clever… oh so clever…”

“Miss Kusanali! Are you ok-“

Captaino clicked something on his gun, and the harpoon grappled back, the edge of the harpoon sliced the throat of the Sumeru guard.

“Kaasska—“ the guard was gagging, crimson blood was pouring out of his neck and mouth, he was looking at Nahida for help.

“*sigh* So annoying…”

Captaino moved his left arm up and revealed the shotgun from before.

Shot

“See that wasn’t hard was it… Now.”

Captaino Pointed it at Nahida, but before he can shoot Nahida, Dottore teleported Nahida and the other guard into the green palace and blocked the entrance with solid ice.

Captaino growled with anger in his veins. “You-“

“Me what! You're not killing any archons or any more of Lesser lord Kusanali’s people.”

“Well that’s a shame… because… that half-archon is more valuable…”

“Tch…”

Dottore grabbed a hold of (Y/n)’s wrist and teleported them to the akademiya back entrance that leads to the green palace.

“Zandik?!?! What about Nahida-“

“She’ll be fine! Capitano is aiming towards you; as a rock of captain he is, he’ll do anything for that person to be dead…”

Dottore picked up (Y/n) bridal style and ran into the akademiya building, “everyone get the hell out of here! There’s-“

Captaino broke the door to the back entrance, everyone screamed in panic and ran out. Dottore ran next door to the library, he closed the door and blocked it with yet another solid ice wall.

“Everyone up the elevator now, there’s a murderest fatui harbinger in this building!”

Everyone went up the elevator, it was cramped but everyone got up… apparently they turned off the elevator so no one else could enter. When Dottore got close to the elevator the lower floor was wide open because the power was off…

“(Y/n)…”

“Zandik don’t-“

Dottore dropped her down the elevator shaft and blocked the entrance with solid ice before she could fly up quickly.

“ZANDIK!”

Her voice was slightly muffled because of the ice. The door behind him smashed open. And the man himself; Captaino, has walked in.

“am I interrupting something…”

It made Dottore fist curl, and he turned around to look at Captaino.

“Let’s just get this over with…”

“My pleasure…”

— time skip (I suck at writing fight scenes 🥸) —

Al Haitham POV

I ran into the akademiya, I looked to my left and saw Dottore looked like he was at his limit; Captaino looked like he was unflinched but with bleeding deep cuts.

“LET ME OUT— PLEASE—“

Al Haitham heard (Y/n) from the elevator shalf and ran to it.

“Al Haitham?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you out of there!”

Al Haitham used his sword to crack the ice. “Cover your eyes!” (Y/n) covered her eyes with her hands, Al Haitham was about to break the ice, “damn it…” and with one final hit, it broke.

(Y/n)’s POV

When the ice broke, (Y/n) flew up, and saw Dottore, he was on his back, looking afraid and powerless.

“Well… it was nice knowing you Dottore”

Click

“Sleep Well… old friend…”

‘No—‘

Before Captaino shot Dottore with a harpoon, (Y/n) swoops in and got shot straight through the heart by pushing Dottore out of the way.

“NOO—“

Before Captaino would say selfish remark, with the last of her powers she used the water from her wings and made it to a thin line, to cut right through Captaino’s neck, it was like she cut through paper…

“Bastard-“

Captaino’s body fell limped and his head moved just slightly away from his body.

Dottore’s POV

“No— no, why—“

Dottore crawled up next to you. At the tip of the harpoon had your slowly pumping heart and the poor shattered vision was clinging on it, grasping for life but can’t.

“Zan—“

“Stop— I can fix this—“

(Y/n)‘s body was slowly starting to shake, her eyes were blurring up because of the amount of tears there were.

Dottore tried to touch her heart that was slowly decreasing by the second, but with little strength she had left she held his wrist weakly.

“Zandik- it's no use—“

“No- I can fix this—“

“Zan— just stop—“

Dottore looked back at her, then at her heart one final time; her heart stopped, her vision didn’t have that beautiful glow anymore.

“Za- remember when I said— *cough*

She coughed out some blood, crimson droplets dangling from her mouth.

“Remember— how I said… you can do so much in so little time— when you're close to someone…”

“Don’t say—“

“I’m— glad that I get… to meet someone like you— in such little time I had…

“Sweetheart-“ Dottore hold her right hand, “your— fuck— FUCK—“

“Zandik—“

“Yes- sweetheart—“

She moved her hand that was holding his wrist and moved her hand to his soft cheek.

“Stay strong for me, ok…”

“I— I can’t- I’m nothing; nothing, without you.”

“Zan—“

Everything felt blurred, her soft hand fell limp to the ground, her chest stopped slowly moving, her eyes was lifeless, her bright delicate smile was nowhere to be seen… Nahida ran in and sobbed what she witnessed, Al haitham quietly sobbed too.

“Sweetheart…”

Dottore had clumps of tears falling down on (Y/n)’s face.

“I’m sorry—“

Dottore slowly lowered his head and placed it on yours…

“I’m sorry— my little delicate sunflower…”

When a bird is alive... It eats ants. When the bird has died... ants eat it. One tree can be made into a million matchsticks... but only one match is needed to burn a million trees…

Circumstances can change at any time... Don't devalue or hurt anyone in this life... You may be powerful today but time is more powerful than you…

[affableramen]

asking them if they actually love you

fluffy angst, established relationships wriothesley, neuvillette, pantalone, capitano, dottore

Wriothesley

The duke was working at his desk in his private office when you walked in with no lively expression on your face. Wriothesley tore his eyes off from the cup of tea and saw you looking expressively exhausted.

“Wow, someone’s had a tough day”, he chuckled, “you look exhausted, babe.”

Ignoring his childish manner you asked him rather simply:

“Wrio, I have just one question. Do you even love me?”

Wriothesley choked on his tea.

“Love you? Of course I—I do.”

You did not have to question his frankness as Wriothesley has always been an explicitly blunt person. He would never lie in such occasions and certainly would tell you if he disliked something.

Having received his answer on the wobbly legs but with a contented smile, you lurked to his desk and hugged him from the side.

“Wrio, I’m just so tired and I’m in diiiire need of your cuddles.” You surprised him with a nice peck to his cheek.

Seeing you giving in to stress and overwhelmed all over Wriothesley could not help but started feeling upset too. He gently pulled your face close to him, his big gloved hand laid on your cheek in a loving way.

“Girl, someone has been working non-stop I see. Or should I say studying? M?”

He was clearly not happy with your sufferings. Being a workaholic himself Wriothesley knew how easy it is to overwhelm oneself. But he did not want this fate for you. Due to the sudden friction of you leaning to his chest to get sense of comfort, the work papers from Wriothesley’s desk had dropped onto the floor. You were lucky the ink remained still.

“Oops. Seems like you wanted to hug me so much you did not spare the poor sheets.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Wrio!”

“Ah, whatever.” He looked down indifferently. “Girl, I will not calm down until I make sure you’re in your bed, sleeping.”

“I’ll be fine. I can get home on my own.”

Wriothesley raised from his desk and discreetly walked you out of his office.

“I’m going to get you home and you’ll rest. That is unnegotiable.”

Neuvillette

Neuvillette was a closed, solitary man who experienced some difficulties when it came to relationship dynamics. Deep inside his heart he was, nonetheless, a pure romantic. He’d always come to your dates earlier, looking nothing but polished; and with incredibly serious (but polite) manner he would court you.

He was always a husband material and he let you know how important you are in his life any time he could. He was dedicated to you wholeheartedly, and even though at first time you were much scared off by his cold, aloof, professional-like appearance, later you found yourself falling in love with him too, until the both of you grew tightly attached to each other.

You knew you should not question or doubt his affections, but you had a terrible day and you only saw your world dark and hollow. It was when your shift ended that Neuvillette entered your office only to find you drowning in your work overtime. Or perhaps—no, it was your studies, your homework.

“Darling, were you doing your studies at work? I thought we’d agree that you would not overexert yourself.”

“I know…” you mumble, caffeine in you refusing to help anymore. “But at home I want to sleep. So when I finished my paperwork, I started doing my studies.”

“I see.” Neuvillette walked closely and took a look at your work sheets. “Dear, you have some mistakes here…But that’s not important now. I’ll give you a lift to home.”

You looked at Neuvillette bewildered.

“Home?”

“It’s evening already.”

“Neuvillette—” you asked him when he gently pulled you out from the desk by your hand. He gave you a surprised look. Judging by your face you were dead serious about asking something, so he kept quiet, letting you speak. “Do you like, love me?”

He was flustered at first, but only mildly. Neuvillette cleared his throat and adjusting his collar he answered with the equal seriousness:

“That I do. Why, have I made you doubt my affections?”

“No. I was just messing with you… I’m having a bad day.”

“I love you”, he said as if picking up your disappointed mood, he continued confessing to you in a frenzy: “I love you, I love you, I love you.” He smooched your cheek before leading you out of the office. “And I will make sure you won’t overwhelm yourself like today.”

Pantalone

“Do you even love me…” you wonder out loud, your chin laying on your arm as you’re doing the paper work.

“Love is a foolish concept for foolish people. It only softens your senses and makes you miserable. I cannot afford being miserable, vulnerable or weak”, Pantalone responds—his words a well-polished conviction he made himself believe in. Although, his looks is harsh on you and he states that in a rough manner, his gaze does not leave your exhausted image not for a moment of time.

Tired and exhausted, you are lying on the desk before the papers.

“So now you’re collapsing on my desk? Did no one teach you proper manners?” he inquires with a tone so ambiguous and indefinite that no one can truly guess if he’s fooling around or scolding you quite seriously.

“So you don’t”, you respond quietly. What were you even thinking… Of course a Harbinger—especially one of the oldest, probably no longer sensitive to feelings—Regrator would ever love you.

“There’s no point of me loving you, really. Love’s a poison, and I cannot let myself be poisoned, for there are many people who’d prefer me dead. I suffered too many assassination attempts to grow a sense of preservation in myself. Besides, where have you heard about love in business?” As always, the talkative man he is Pantalone would not stop blabbering a second. But seeing you close your eyes as he came closer, he whispered quietly, but audible enough for you to hear:

“I love you.”

Perhaps he did not even consider the words which slipped so fast from his lips. He wanted to cover his mouth shut to hide his embarrassment, but then he did not see a point in this.

“Thanks…” said the sleepy you, the next second falling asleep on the papers. “I … love you… too…”

“You’re an idiot. When will you stop mixing work and studies? Come, I’ll get you to bed.”

He gently pulled you into his arms and carried you through the dimly lit corridor. He placed you on your silky bed sheets, his hand moving to caress your cheek.

“You need to take better care of yourself. You can’t keep being so overwhelmed with both work and university. Now, sleep.”

He kisses your cheek, his lips linger for a few moments…

“I’m so exhausted.”

“I know. Sleep, my dear.”

He switched the lights off and slowly raised from the bed, afraid to do any friction that would tear you off from the sleepy state.

Capitano

“Capitano”, you called him from the middle of the living room, while you were studying near the fireplace.

He was just about to enter the room when you side eyed him and the familiar smell of spicy perfume seemed to fill the half of the air.

“Do you even love me, Capitano?”

He stood there, frozen at your question, not knowing what to respond because you usually would not have audacity to ask him something way too personal. It must have been a damn good reason for you to strike him so deeply.

“Hmph. What do you think?” He stopped in the frame of the entrance, his big arms crossed as he leaned onto the frame.

“I don't know, you tell me.” You did not tear your gaze of the book, as if taunting him. But he did not suspect that you were genuinely exhausted at that moment and sook to be comforted.

“Do you think I’d let you lurk in my house on weekends if I did not? Do you think I would ask my servants to prepare the finest meals for you, neatly accordingly to your allergies?” He grunts, unsatisfied and irritated. “Do you think I’d even let you talk to me so boldly if I did not want you by my side?”

You finally raised your head at him, leaving the book behind and gave him a satisfied but undoubtedly cunning smile.

“Capitano, my love, you’re so cute when you’re grumpy.”

“I just don't see a point in asking something so obvious.”

“You and your rational thinking. What if I just wanted to hear you sweet talking to me?”

Capitano was speechless. He knew how cunning you could be, but he did not even imagine that you would be taunting him so badly.

“I’ve had a difficult day. Too much studies, too little rest. I have not much time before exams so I am constantly stressing.”

“You don't have your deserved rest because you kept working even being a student. You need to choose one, woman.”

You sighed at Capitano. How many times did you have to explain to him?..

“I know, but I told you I want to have some cash of my own. I don't want to constantly ask you to buy something for me.”

“But your work kills you. You give so much effort for university, and you give as much to your work. This is unacceptable for your health.” His tone is cold with seriousness. You know he wouldn't change his mind just as you wouldn't change yours.

“Fine, perhaps I’ll work two days instead of three. But Capitano, stop standing there like a statue, sit down next to me. My mind is at peace when you are close.”

“Even if I am simply… sitting here? Doing nothing at all?”

“Even so. But I think you already know that you could hug me since I haven't seen you the whole day~.”

Dottore

“Do you even love me, Dottore?” you asked him plainly with no ceremonies. For a moment Dottore’s hand froze as he was holding the vial. He was standing there in his white medical gown as he mixed some fluids. After a few long moments he finally gave you an answer, his tone indifferent, but you could not see his expression behind the white safety mask.

“You know perfectly I only love science.”

“Guess I should have expected that ans—”

“But I love you. Perhaps, a little less than science, but I do. And I hope you know that”, he cleared his throat, “why’d you even ask that on the first place?”

You took a few steps closer to Dottore, silently lurking behind his back, fearing to ruin his test, but you could not escape his sharp senses.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing. Continue with your experiment.”

“Uh-huh.” Dottore finally poured the fluids and mixed them properly. When the experiment finished he took his gloves off and you quickly wrapped your arms around his waist before he could run away from you.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked, flustered enough to want his face hidden somewhere far from your eyes.

“I missed you, besides I’m very tired. If you don’t want to hug me back, then just stay like this and let me squeeze you.”

Nothing could express Dottore’s astonishment right now. He was most embarrassed, and he is not at all used to such extravagant signs of affections.

“Y/N you fool, careful with where you’re standing, my whole lab is not a playground.”

“I love you too, Dottore.” You delivered a peck to his cheek from behind. That action made Dottore boil immensely, and he finally turned around and leaned against his desk.

“Did something or someone upset you? You don’t usually act so rapidly.”

“Just a bad day in general. I’m exhausted and hungry too. But at least you told me you love me.”

Dottore sighed through teeth. He disliked a mere idea of you being stressed out. He wanted to cheer you up but his heart did not have capacity enough for much open affection.

“Okay, brat. How about we grab a dinner somewhere together? You wanna hot food?”

There were sudden sparkles in your eyes - the only offer from Dottore’s lips made you all shake with excitement and your frustration seemed to brush off.

“I would love to eat out with you right now, Dott.”

“Well in that case”, he glared at you and hissed, “let me finish my job properly. Wait in the vestibule.”

Grinning, you escaped his lab with fast pace, seeing Dottore roll his eyes at your childish excitement.

[fatuismooches]

amandus est videri.

synopsis: Your birthday rolls around again, and you expect it to be a nice, relaxed day as always. But your illness hasn’t been the kindest to you lately, so Dottore decides to spoil you, as best as a man like him knows how to anyway.

includes: dottore w/ gn! reader

notes: Just a fluff, self-indulgent fic of Dottore being soft for you on your birthday. Fragile reader. He comforts you a lot at the end. Last year's fic.

Birthdays were a special thing, no doubt.

It was a day that many looked forward to. It represented another year of growing older, a joyful celebration with the ones you loved as you looked forward to the future. At least, that was the case for some people. For others, they simply didn’t care. Your husband was a good example. If you didn’t remind Dottore every year and present him with a gift, you were sure the day would pass like any other, whether he remembered it was his birthday or not.

You, on the other hand, were probably in the middle of these two feelings. Yes, you did look forward to the day, but you supposed it had lost some of the charm it should have. It had been so many years since you’d woken up from your almost eternal rest, and even longer since you had been plagued with this sickness. Therefore all of your birthdays have been spent with the same lingering feeling in the back of your mind - when will you spend your special day in good health, free to feel and think and act in the way you truly want to? At this point, the only reason you continued to ask for a large cake was to indulge the segments’ sweets cravings.

Still, your birthday did make you happy, whether it was from the lavishing affection from your lovers or the gifts you received (how you survived without your beloved Headcircles for so long was beyond you.) This year would be no different. But it was obvious to the others that you had become more withdrawn and closed off than your normal self, which had come as a result of your stagnant condition. 

Of course, Dottore himself had become more than aware of this. He was an observant man after all, even on the days he didn’t see you or speak to you. He knew you, inside and out. Even now, he could understand the downcast look that sometimes sunk into your face when you thought no one was watching. 

Which was no doubt surprising to the average person, considering the severe lack of ethical practice and empathy from the Doctor. Of course, being a scholar first and foremost, results came first, regardless of what needed to happen to obtain them. But in truth, when it came to you, he was a genuine doctor, and you were his only genuine patient, to which he had the genuine goal of treating and curing you, unlike his other subjects. 

Therefore, due to this sincerity, it was simple for him to understand how you were affected by your illness. However, you refused to ever approach him about it first, which often led to a flood of tears later down the line, when he finally got you to stop holding back. Still, there was only so much he could do. He wasn’t made to comfort, his specialty was the opposite. He wasn’t a natural at producing soft words, and his hands didn’t know where to go to make it all better.

Nowadays, it wasn’t hard for him to admit to himself that he missed your lively and vibrant self. The person who would constantly tease and banter with him, unafraid to debate with him or be loud in their declarations with a once familiar wide smile, laying their hands all over him as they thought of the most minuscule thing to bother him with. Needless to say, Il Dottore didn’t appreciate interruptions during his work…

But he missed yours. 

However, he saw the approaching date of your birthday as a good opportunity to hopefully help that person come forth once more. Of course, he was never one to really care about birthdays, until you came along. It was all those years ago when he decided that the effort you put into it was worth reciprocating even just a bit. Good work should be rewarded after all. Though this gift was certainly much bigger than his previous ones, he believed it was well deserved.

—

The day was just like any other. You had started it by watching the endless snow continue to form in heaps as the segments conducted their daily prodding at your body for checkups, and then made yourself cozy in bed in the comfort of your room. A lot of your days had been spent like this lately, too tired to walk around or entertain yourself with the segments. 

That was okay - they still visited you from time to time. But a visit that you did not expect was from Dottore himself. You hadn’t even heard him come in, only realizing his presence when his deep voice tickled your ear, making you jump and scramble to sit up properly. The fox creature that had peacefully nested near your feet was also awoken by the sudden intrusion, glaring at the man who paid it no attention.

“That seems to be quite an absorbing book you’re reading.” He had no reaction to how he caused you a great fright.

“I keep telling you not to scare me like that,” you huffed, heart still racing from his sudden appearance and also his close proximity. He cocked his head to the side with a smile, feigning innocence, while you pouted at his response, slumping back into the sheets. Foxttore also crawled up to your side and made himself comfy there once more.

“I did knock. Multiple times, in fact,” he commented, moving to stand over you. You probably have not changed your position much since this morning. “You didn’t hear me, so I simply took matters into my own hands.” The unamused glint in your eyes managed to bring a familiar feeling into his chest.

“Regardless, while I would inquire into the contents of the literature that has you so engrossed,” he hummed, moving away from you to observe any recent additions to your room, “I have something more important to share.”

“Is that so? Have you come to tell me the update of the experiment you last spoke about?” You asked, returning your attention to your book. In reality, you already knew the answer was no - whenever it had to do with his research you could always tell whether it was from his face or tone or body language. Either he was greatly pleased, perhaps even excited when he made a breakthrough, or he was sour and annoyed if the result was the opposite.

“No, but this is far more interesting.” The smile on his face gave you a feeling he was up to something.

“More interesting? I doubt anything could be more interesting than your research, Dottore,” you replied, but his statement intrigued you.

“I have decided to take you somewhere.” That response made your eyes widen, perking up in surprise. The times you had been able to leave the lab were far in between due to your illness, so you treasured each time you were able to witness the glory of the chilly snowfall. This had to have something to do with your birthday, and you were already grateful. Even if your body didn’t want to cooperate, well… you’d just force it to (hopefully.)

“Where? Tell me where!” You swung your feet over the edge of your bed, thrilled, your pet once again whining at the loss of your warmth. “Wait, actually, let me guess!” You didn’t notice how pleased he was with your sudden return to life, a smile on your face as you thought about all the possibilities, longing to get away from this place.

“Hmm… are we going to visit that delicious bakery again? And scare the townsfolk once more?” You tapped your cheek as you reminisced at the mix of petrified and curious expressions from when you two were there. It was still amusing to think about the Harbinger in such a place with you.

“No, somewhere farther away.”

“The theater, then? Oh, is a new play coming out? Are we gonna watch it? But I don’t want to hear you complain about the plot the whole time again…” Dottore merely watched, entertained by your deep in thought expression.

“No, not that either.” 

“Then where? Tell me,” you gave up on guessing, trying not to kick your legs in excitement.

“We are going to Sumeru together.” His words caused the room to go silent afterward as you blinked at him, trying to process his words. Your lips parted and then closed as you repeated what he said back in your mind, while Dottore only stared at you as if what he said was the most normal thing ever.

“... Huh? I- what?” After a bit, you couldn’t help but giggle a bit at the sheer absurdity of that sentence. “Hey, I know a certain segment of yours likes to joke around, but not you so much. Now tell me, where are we really going?” But Dottore didn’t look phased at your denial, casually brushing his fingers against your numerous books on the shelves, only perking up once he recognized one on Khaenri’ahn machinery.

“We are going to Sumeru,” he repeated. “Once we’re there, we can go anywhere you like. We will leave a week from today, first thing in the morning, and get there the night before your birthday. And there is no need to pack, everything will be taken care of.” Once again, you were shocked into silence, your heart rate increasing to a pace that probably wasn’t the best for you.

“... You’re serious. You’re actually serious,” you spoke in disbelief, words coming out in a half-whisper. You stumbled to your feet until you were pressed against him, your hands gripping his shirt as you beckoned him for answers. “But why? I mean- how? I thought I couldn’t- we couldn’t because of all of those things and- well, are you sure? I… I don’t want to bother you or your work or cause any unnecessary problems or-” Your flustered self stopped talking when a large hand rested on top of your head.

“Am I not allowed to spoil my spouse?”

“S-Spoil… well…” The words felt so foreign coming from his lips - he could be very direct with his verbal affection if he was in the mood, but this… was more than what you had expected. Although you could feel your face heating up, you still couldn’t help but feel you were putting an extra burden on him, and your expression made it easy for him to guess so. Dottore’s hand moved to stroke your cheek instead, forcing you to look up at him.

“If you’re still not convinced… then think of it as repayment, if that suits you. You’ve always satisfied my needs, I am merely satisfying yours as well. Or perhaps… think of it as me taking a vacation. You’ve always asked me to take one, no?” His voice managed to quell your worries a bit as you nodded, reaching to your cheek to squeeze his hand. 

You still had a lot of questions - if you could even handle the whole trip with your illness - but you were sure he had already come up with all the solutions to all the problems in advance. As for how he managed to get time off… perhaps working as a Harbinger without taking any sort of break for centuries ended up having its usefulness in the end… You could just imagine the expression on Pierro’s face.

“Thank you… thank you! I love you!” You couldn’t help but hug him as tightly as you could, now knowing that you were truly leaving this place to not just anywhere but your homeland, the place you missed so much. It really did sound too good to be true… Dottore only chuckled at your reaction, having expected this from the moment he planned the whole trip. He held you back, smoothing your hair until you pulled away again, suddenly deep in thought once again.

“Oh Zandik, I need to make a list! There are so much things I need to do and see… how will I have time for them all? And I need to get a nice outfit ready… gotta get new filters for my Kamera too… I have to take a lot of pictures… And souvenirs for all the segments! And Bina and Panta and Childe-” In a flash, you were suddenly digging through your room in order to prepare for the things you just mentioned, as well as whatever was running through that mind of you. The abomination of a creature had waddled his way over to you, discontent that his cuddles were over, but still interested in your activities. 

Dottore only watched in amusement, simply glad to see you smiling again in a way that was wholly you, before he left you to attend to his own business.

—

To say you were restless was an understatement. You think that Dottore shouldn’t have told you about the trip this early because now you were constantly dreaming about what you’d do in Sumeru. It wasn’t only about Sumeru either, this was a long-awaited opportunity to spend genuine time with your husband. Although you hadn’t been feeling up to much lately, the whole situation made your spirits rise. 

But soon enough, the journey was underway. However, a small problem was that you had not been on a boat in hundreds of years. It was admittedly daunting at first - but wow, had the design of boats changed a lot over the centuries… you could have never thought a boat could be so fancy. Of course, Dottore was keeping his eye on you the whole time, making sure you could handle the change in environment.

“Staying out here too long won’t be good for you,” the sudden voice to the side of you made you jump a bit, before you quickly relaxed, realizing it was just Dottore. You had been just standing here every day for a while.

“The breeze is nicer than I’d thought it would be. And the sea… it’s very pretty.” You smiled, looking back at the view. Even though only boring water surrounded you two for miles, it was still a fascinating sight. You had already taken a lot of pictures, but they couldn’t compare to the real thing. “I wish to continue to look at it,” you added because you already knew he’d try to pull you away and into the warmth of the cabin. He was silent at your response, and you thought you’d won him over when suddenly something heavy slipped around you.

His coat, which was much larger than you, pooled on the floor of the deck. It really wasn’t necessary, considering you were already wearing your own, but who were you to decline his kind offer?

“Don’t stay too long,” was his only warning, and you couldn’t help but giggle as you stepped closer to him, squeezing his hand when you suddenly remembered something important.

“Hey… speaking of, are you still motion sick, Zandik? Will you be okay?”

“I never had such a thing,” he clicked his tongue in annoyance, trying not to remember certain… events at the Akademiya that you still made fun of to this day.

The Fatui agents pretended not to hear your cackles and their Harbinger’s disgruntled responses the whole trip.

—

You had refused to go to sleep for hours now. Why? Because you would reach the docks of Sumeru by tonight, and you would not miss the moment for anything, even though your body was loudly protesting to get some rest. Surprisingly, Dottore didn’t object too much. Obviously, he’d expected this. You were grateful that he was being lenient for once. Anxiously, you continued to wait with bated breath, tapping the edge of the boat.

And then Port Ormos came into view. 

You were still quite a distance away but… you thought it was beautiful. There were boats that were even more large and luxurious, and you could hear the hustle and bustle of people still filling the port even though the moon had begun to settle in. But the lights around the port glowed magnificently, so familiar to what you remembered all those years ago. Oh, but the layout was certainly different… it was the same and yet it was not, change was evident but there were things that still reminded you of the past. Of… better times.

“Dottore, do you-” As you turned around to look for him, you found that he was already next to you, watching the port come into view as well. You immediately hooked your arm around his, pulling him closer as you practically jumped up and down in excitement. 

“Thank you again, Dottore. I am truly so happy…” You nuzzled your face into his arm, hoping he could feel how thankful you were. He stroked your hair with his free hand in response. 

“Just don’t stray too far tonight. You can do that tomorrow.”

When you finally got off the boat and set foot on not just any land but in Sumeru, you just wanted to go everywhere. You wanted to see everything, the new places and the old - most importantly, the ones you shared with Zandik. But you paid mind to his request and stayed in one place (mostly), instead pacing around in awe while he handled business with the agents. Besides, you didn’t want to draw too much attention to yourself anyway, not with all these people here.

The house you were staying at was a distance away from the city, not too far but it also gave you two a sense of peacefulness and quiet away from all the noise. It was perfect and you loved it, as it somewhat reminded you of living in the dorms with Zandik, although the architecture had changed since then. But you were still a bit… unsatisfied.

“Are you sure we can’t just stay up and do something…?” You asked drowsily, fighting off the very obvious sleepiness in your voice, while Dottore pulled the blankets over you. Although you were energetic a few moments ago from the thrill of it all, tiredness had quickly settled into your body after it was over. Still, it just felt a bit annoying to waste this precious time sleeping, and you looked at your husband with pleading eyes. He seemed to think about it, before answering you.

“If you can stay awake for ten more minutes, then we can,” Dottore indulged your request, knowing full well that you would be knocked out by then. But you seemed more than ready to take on this challenge.

“I… I can do that! Alright, talk to me, Zandik,” you urged him, hoping a conversation with him would help you fight the sleepiness.

“You said that you created a list for tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I did!” You tugged on his arm, pulling him closer as he was only sitting on the edge of the bed rather than lying next to you. Knowing him, he was probably going to try doing some work… somehow, despite being miles away from Snezhnaya. “I want to walk around the city first… oh, but we need to eat first. You know the good places, right? I know the segments have been here many times… they told you, right?” You continued to prattle on, forcing back your yawns.

“Naturally.”

“Good, good… we need to go into as many stores as possible. I have a lot of gifts to buy,” you rubbed your eyes to continue getting the sleepiness out of your system.

“You do, indeed.”

“Mhm. And a lot of… pictures,” you yawned, the fluffiness and softness of the pillows and sheets overtaking your senses. “We should visit the forest too. If only we could explore a ruin again…”

“We will, one day in the future.”

“Yeah… do you want to go anywhere, Zandik?” You had moved his hand that was held hostage to your cheek, enjoying the warmth.

“I already have plans for us to go somewhere later.” You forced your eyes open to blink at him in surprise.

“Really?” Despite being on the verge of slumber, that grabbed your attention very much.

“Of course.”

“...I am admittedly a bit concerned at how thoughtful you’re being, Zandik. Are you going to experiment on me when we get back?” You couldn’t help but tease him, however, it was still true that this was a bit strange coming from a person like Il Dottore. You were used to receiving his love in an… unconventional manner, that was just Dottore-like. It was hard to explain.

“Your lack of faith in me is rather heartbreaking, [Name],” he said in a similar, more sarcastic tone. “Perhaps I will run a few tests on you later.” You giggled in protest as he began to move his hand downward, tracing lines on your neck until he rested on your pulse, teasingly stroking the area. Your laughter had turned into yawns the more the seconds went by.

“So… how many minutes have passed?”

“Less than five.”

“Aww… well, I can keep going…” your voice dipped in volume the more you spoke, your grip on his arm becoming looser as you finally succumbed to sleep. He let himself feel you for a bit longer until he pulled away, moving your body into a comfortable position so you wouldn’t be sore, and then looked back to watch you. 

The rise and fall of your chest had always been something that brought him a sense of relief. It was the tangible sense of it that reassured him, always being the man who favored facts over fallacy. Your heartbeat along with the movement of your chest, and sometimes the small noises you made, were all things he checked for once you slipped off to the land of dreams. A doctor, a scholar, or a scientist could never be too careful.

A lover could not either.

—

Although waking up early wasn’t one of your favorite things, you did it anyway because this birthday wasn’t something you wanted to squander. The warm morning sun spilled into the room, a feeling that was never to be found in Snezhnaya. Rubbing your eyes, you realized Dottore was again at the side of the bed getting ready, just as he was last night. Your rustling movements alerted him to your consciousness. 

“Finally up, are you?” Dottore was always up early, well, it was more like he never went to sleep in the first place. You yawned in response before turning over to face him better, admiring his bare chest through his half-buttoned shirt, but more importantly, his lovely face that was not yet covered by that mask of his.

“Mhm,” you hardly mustered a response before smiling, continuing to nuzzle into the pillows, admiring your husband who always managed to look so good to you, especially when all the finer details were highlighted by all the light coming in. It was surely a sight to see as well, watching him put on that complicated outfit…

“Are you going to continue staring, or are you going to start getting ready?” His tone was more teasing for your wandering eyes rather than displeased. 

“So mean,” you giggled, finally sitting up and stretching before wrapping your arms around him, pressing your chest against his back. “I’m just glad the first thing I saw today was your handsome face.” He had no response as you kissed his neck, leaving soft kisses downward as his hair tickled your cheek.

“Here. Now carry me,” you pulled away and spread your arms out, patiently waiting as he turned back to look at you with narrowed eyes. “What? It’s my birthday, you should listen to my requests.” He paused to examine your bright smile and hopeful grin before he acquiesced.

“As you wish,” he replied, then wrapped a single arm around your side and hoisted you up rather inelegantly as you awkwardly dangled above the floor.

“H-Hey! Be gentle!” You squealed at the rough treatment before it turned to giggles, as you then got ready for the outing with your husband’s help.

—

The streets of Sumeru were everything you knew yet nothing at the same time. So many people going about their lives, Akademiya students walking about as well, mumbling about their research and exams and everything that came with being a scholar. Walking up the tree-woven bridges and staring from above, the view simply too beautiful for words to describe.

But…

All of the stores and buildings you once knew were gone, replaced with new ones. You knew that after so long nothing you’d remember would still be there, but deep down you hoped for something concrete to remind you of the past, if only to ease your heart for everything you missed out on. The only thing that remained the same was the Akademiya, though it certainly looked upgraded. Speaking of the Akademiya… if only you could set foot there again with him… pretending to be a student in the House of Daena like once before… but those days were long gone.

“You couldn’t possibly have thought the same things from centuries ago would still be here,” he sighed as you buried your face into his shoulder with disappointment.

“Well, you’re right but, I don’t know… there might have been a long-running family business or something,” you mumbled, appreciating his warmth and scent. At least you still had him after all the years.

“There is no need to fret. There are many things here you’d like.” Dottore attempted to comfort you, which wasn’t a lie. He knew the kind of things you were interested in. After a few moments, you shifted to look at him, nipping at his shirt before pulling away and grabbing his hand resolutely.

“Hmph, I know that. Now come, we need to see if this Puspa Café can compete with the one we used to study at,” you tugged on his arm, and he grinned, delighting in your whimsicality. 

—

By the end of the evening, you were sure you knew the face of every vendor there was in the city. Practically everywhere had been explored by you (and Dottore in tow, who was dragged along.)

Gifts had already been acquired - your favorite being an Aranara toy for Zandy. You considered the cookbooks as a shared gift, seeing as you’d make the food for everyone. It was always quite hard to pick something out for them, this was the many versions of Il Dottore after all… Still, it was a good thing you had agents to carry the items back. Poor things.

You also made sure to get your fill of delicious Sumerian food as well. Sure, certain things could be imported, and there were chefs in the Fatui, but it would never taste quite as good as it did here. And oh, the pictures. There were a lot of pictures. Nothing was off the table - the scenery, the animals… Dottore watched in silence, tapping his finger as you even took pictures of the food. And of course, you posed next to many things but especially the kitty cats.

“There can never be enough photos of me on your desk, Zandik. And I need to share them with all the other segments too! Now keep taking them,” you demanded, your poor Harbinger husband feeling more like your temporary maid as he fulfilled the most ludicrous requests for you, only for today of course.

“Come, come, let me see them now!” You ran back to him, eager to see the (hopefully) pretty photos. As you began to shuffle through the pictures, your smile gradually dropped while you could feel the smugness radiating from Dottore.

“…You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you, Zandik?” You looked up at him, completely unamused… because all of the photos he had taken just now were perfectly imperfect - the wind had messed with your hair or outfit, someone interrupted, you were being harassed by a bug…

“I fulfilled your request, did I not? I merely took the pictures as you asked.” You narrowed your eyes at him before pressing your finger into his chest.

“Listen here you, normally I find it adorable when you’re being cheeky and annoying,” you paused to stab him again with your finger, “but I will not tolerate it today of all days. I know we both remember the last time I gave you the treatment. Now be a good little husband and actually take good photos.”

“You’re rather feisty today, aren’t you dear?”

By now, the sun would soon begin to set, signaling the day would be coming to a close. The sky would slowly change into a brilliant hue, the perfect thing to gaze upon after a lovely day. You were… content, despite all the worries and less-than-nice feelings that sometimes rose to the surface, which you desperately beat back down for you didn’t want to think about that now.

But you knew the day wasn’t over yet. The whole time, Dottore’s words lingered in your mind - the promise of taking you somewhere. You wondered where it was. The best you could guess was the giant Ruin Guard you two used to visit back when you two were students… perhaps he wanted to see it again. You would be interested in knowing if that note he left in there survived for so long… 

“So, would you say it’s time for you to reveal your secret plan, Zandik? It’s been on my mind all day, you know.” You tapped the railing as you watched the clouds float in the sky, trying to find any shapes that looked familiar. Dottore watched from behind you, his eyes more focused on your pretty frame.

“I was waiting for you to finish this little adventure of yours. You’ve been so busy, how could I possibly interject?” Your husband moved to stand next to you, the black fluff of his outfit tickling your shoulder.

“And I thank you for your very much appreciated patience. I know you’d rather be tinkering with something than following me around,” you chuckled, relishing in the closeness of his body.

“Nonsense. Even I value the time I have to admire your many expressions. It brings much amusement, especially the idiotic ones,” he hummed as he took his hand in yours, tugging you forward as you ignored the little tease.

“So… where are we going exactly?” You squeezed his hand as you followed Dottore, simply trusting him. You had always loved Dottore’s hands. They were big and fit perfectly in your own, reassuring you whenever he ran them over your body. It was the same hands that took so much from others… but always gave to you.

“You’ll see.”

“Can I at least have a hint? Or what we’re going to do there?”

“You’ll see,” he repeated while you huffed in disappointment, but then he paused, seemingly wanting to say something more. “It is a place you showed me.” You raised your eyebrows but didn’t pry anymore. 

Soon the path dwindled, the noise from the city fading as two you got further and further away, and you instead decided to appreciate the atmosphere of the walk. However, your legs had gotten very tired from all the walking earlier, even though you took numerous breaks in the city, and you were struggling to keep up the pace now. But you were too shy to tell him about the problem.

It was a good thing your husband happened to be an observant doctor.

Dottore’s pace lessened so you could catch your breath, and then he stopped completely to sweep you off your feet, something your body was far too grateful for. Your sigh of relief was also quite audible, much to your displeasure.

“The path ahead is dangerous. It is better if you don’t walk,” he said simply, sparing you the embarrassment. You whispered a quiet thank you as he carried your body bridal style with complete ease, your head nuzzled into his shoulder while your fingers played with his shirt and accessories. (You always wondered how he wore all those hanging things… when you tried putting all of them on before, your back hurt… really bad.)

He was right - the path was steep and rocky, hard for the average person to walk. There were some monsters, but he didn’t even need to draw his blade to kill them of course. Even though you were more interested in cuddling into his chest, the journey seemed familiar… very familiar in fact, and you suddenly thought hard about where you could be going. It had to be some place during the Akademiya time… 

You blinked again at the scenery and then you saw the past again. 

Ah, how could you forget? The time you dragged the unwilling scholar from his dorm, all because you wanted to show him a special place (and get him out of that stuffy room for once, all he wanted to go to was to class, the dorm, or to some ruin for investigation.) You helped him through the whole hike, defeating the enemies easily as he panted behind you. You only ended up going there once with him due to all the hassle it took, but it was so worth it because the view was-

Absolutely breathtaking, you thought, as you set sight on the place after over four hundred years. To be exact, it was just a very large flower field filled with dainty Sumeru Roses, but it was just so pretty, along with a clear, unfiltered view of the pure sky. The smell was always so pleasant too, the perfect place to relax. The last time here, you forced him to lay back and just relax (which he was not a fan of, he bought his books anyway.)

Dottore had set you down carefully, making sure your feet weren’t too wobbly, so you could take a few steps into the field.

“It’s just as beautiful as I remember,” you sighed happily. “I… I can’t believe you actually remember this place,” you got a bit flushed at how he remembered this, especially when you loved it so. Your eyes roamed about, trying to take in every detail when you noticed there was something spread out a bit in the distance. You took a few more steps while Dottore followed closely behind, still silent. Soon, you were in front of a soft blanket, along with a picnic basket, the delicious aroma wafting out.

“This is…” The words didn’t quite make it out of your mouth as you kept looking back and forth between the picnic and your husband. Meanwhile, Dottore didn’t seem phased in the slightest as he ushered you to the ground. A few containers were emptied onto the blanket, packaged just the way you used to when you were a student. Did he copy you? Not to mention…

“These are the same things I made for you for our last picnic…” Obviously, he couldn’t have cooked these himself or he’d have blown up someone’s kitchen, but his memory was quite exceptional. You always specifically made these dishes because they were loved by both of you.

“Eat before it gets cold. Though… the flavor lacks in comparison to what you make,” he seemed slightly disappointed by the quality as he bit into the samosa. Perhaps this was why he barely ate anything all day. You, on the other hand, were still… flabbergasted, your jaw moving to speak and then freezing up. You furrowed your eyebrows before you moved much closer, gripping his shirt and yanking on it.

“…Who are you, and what have you done with Dottore?”

“…Pardon?”

“I’m asking who you are and what have you done with the real Dottore!” You exclaimed as you pulled him back and forth while he looked at you blankly, surprisingly more with confusion than amusement.

“Alright, how many times have you apologized to me in your numerous centuries of life?”

“Three times.”

“How long did you kick me out of the dorm when-”

“Four days, thirteen hours, and fourty-seven minutes.”

“Okay… how many pens did you end up breaking on the expedition when we got trapped in that one ruin in the desert?”

“Nine.” You blinked at him carefully before scooting back, satisfied with your little interrogation.

“…So- so, you’re the real thing, huh? Hmph, I- well, it is about time you did something like this. I always had to organize all the picnic dates back then you know,” you brushed it off, trying to not show how touched you were by this, your heart stuttering badly. It was so simple, but all so meaningful. It showed that Dottore paid attention to you, only to someone as ordinary and weak as you, nothing escaping his watchful eye. Quickly, you tried to shake off the sudden emotion bubbling in your chest as you continued to defend yourself.

“You can’t blame me for this, by the way. Doing all this is awful strange for you,” you stated. The way he was acting was almost a bit perturbing. You never would have thought him to care so much. 

“I only copied exactly what you did. Hardly any effort was required on my part,” he always said such things so casually, as if it was meaningless (which could be good or bad, depending on the situation.) But things like these always made your heart race, made you think that at least you were special to him. You decided not to continue the topic.

You plopped your head onto his lap, beginning to reach for something to munch on when he stopped you.

“Don’t eat lying down. It’s bad for your health.”

“Aww, but you're so nice and cozy down here.”

The time flew by quickly after that, words swept away by the gentle breeze. After a bit of prodding you were able to get him to start rambling about that one experiment that was giving him a headache, an update that you were interested in but more so listening to his voice. You loved when he did this - not many people know how much of a talker he could be. 

In the meantime, you also idled by weaving some flowers together. You had done this last time too - the blush on his cheeks gave you a good laugh. Though your hands trembled from how much precision the braiding of the stems took, you continued on slowly anyway. 

“There we go,” you let out a sigh of relief as the stems were finally connected into a crown, even though it definitely wasn’t your best work. You glanced at Dottore, who was still ranting on (about the banker this time), and then placed it on him, which he momentarily paused at the sensation, fingers reaching up to brush against the flowers.

“Hmm… it’s a bit lopsided, but it suits you, cutie,” you smiled at the work of art you created - your husband adorned with Sumeru Roses, to be exact. He rubbed his fingers between the soft petals before placing the crown on your head instead.

“It suits your features far more.” Heat rose to your cheeks as you shook your head.

“Such a smooth talker. I feel as though our places have been swapped,” you exhaled softly, remembering how you were the one always blatantly flirting with him in the Akademiya. “Ah, wait, I still have one more request!” There was one thing you wanted to do for the whole day.

Your trusty Kamera was released again as you looked at him with pleading eyes, the device aimed toward him. Dottore let out a great sigh. As much as he enjoyed sharing new mechanical tools with you, you could get… really into them. Especially because he kept tweaking them to make them better for you. Though he supposed he shouldn’t blame you too much… as long as it kept you satisfied. 

“I believe you’ve taken plenty.”

“Well, yes, I have… but none of you, beloved!”

Even though you had taken a lot of pictures, none of them included Dottore unfortunately. He wasn’t very fond of the idea of you having such… soft photos of him in possession. He knew exactly the kind of person you were, and what you could do with them, more specifically… who you could show them to. 

“Come on…” You cozied up to him, nuzzling yourself against your lover. “My scrapbook longs for more pictures of my one and only dear husband. Just one picture. One is all I ask! I’ll even take one of only your back profile if-”

“Do what you will, but make it quick,” he gave in begrudgingly, much to your pleasure. You gave him a good smooch on his cheek for that as you scooted back, getting into a better position to angle your Kamera. 

“Could I get a smile? A pose? Your eyes?”

“Don’t push your luck too much, [Name].” You grinned cheekily at his response.

The audible click of the Kamera sounded, and then the photo printed out. In a few moments, his face appeared on it, and you sighed in contentment. He was so handsome, and the background was perfect too.

“Satisfied?” He questioned, to which you nodded. “Now give it here.” You passed him the photo and he looked at it briefly, before motioning for the device in your hand. You were a bit confused as to why he wanted your Kamera but you gave it to him anyway.

“What? Are you confiscating it now?” You giggled. He fiddled with it, fingers gliding over the buttons as you watched curiously, and then all of a sudden it was pointed at you, the snapping sound catching you way off guard. He similarly copied your previous motions, looking rather pleased at your scattered self that he managed to capture.

“Ah- hey! At least let me fix myself first!” You fruitlessly lunged at Dottore to try and take back that unflattering picture of yourself, but of course, he was much stronger and faster than you.

“This one is for my personal use. I see no problem, you do the same thing, do you not?” He smiled smugly, as you gave up rather quickly, grumbling about how cruel he was.

—

So much time had ended up passing that nighttime was in full swing, the only thing illuminating the sky was the brilliant stars that shined above. Your birthday was drawing to a close. Dottore had already quietly whispered the words to you, as he always did.

You were happy. Happy to have spent this time away from that lab, away from seeing snow for miles and miles. It really did feel refreshing. And of course, you were happy to spend time with the one you valued above all. The feeling had left you feeling lighter than you had in a while, and you were busy snuggling up to Dottore while you gazed at the stars.

But then he spoke.

“[Name].”

“Yes?” 

“How have you been as of late?”

“Hmm? Well, I’m fine. You know, same old, same old.” You lazily shrugged your shoulders, though you were a bit caught off guard by the question. He seemed to ponder your answer, fingers drumming against you in a contemplating manner. He wondered if he should press you - you had been far more lively today than you were lately, and he was not sure if it would be wise to leave a sour taste in your mouth.

“And what about you? How have you been, Zandik? Still sitting at a desk for twenty-four hours straight?”

“Perhaps. Perhaps not. Usually, you’re more than aware of my habits, considering you always barge in to change it.” You opened your mouth to respond, but your throat had gone dry because you knew what he was suggesting. You hadn’t really been visiting him or the segments lately.

“What? Do you miss me that easily?” You forced a smile onto your face, hoping to just play off the situation.

“And what if I said I do?” Whatever words you had prepared had disappeared and gotten stuck in your throat. He used to be so horrible with lovey-dovey words, and yet he managed to pull them out so casually sometimes. You breathed in.

“I… you see…” It was embarrassing really, how easy it was for him to break down the walls you hardened so desperately. Or maybe you were just weak. You had been dismissing any hint of pity from all the segments and him for so long, but it seemed like it was all catching up to you now. The light feeling you just had was beginning to quickly revert back to the heaviness that weighed on your heart.

“It’s nothing really,” you still try to deflect the question. You try to roll over too, just so he doesn’t have to see your face contort with all your stupid feelings, but his grip is far too strong for you to ever break free. 

“Your face is very easy to read, darling. Why do you not simply tell me what ails you?” You already saw this coming. You two have done this so many times, and each time you never fail to feel like a burden.

“…Because it’s the same conversation every time, Zandik. I don’t know how many times I can continue to tell you everything… my body, my health… it’s always the same thing.” 

You cannot help but think that surely he would prefer a more… active partner, one who could follow him around and be at his beck and call, assisting him with his intriguing research and experiments, one who could easily match his level, elevating his progress more and more. Not… you who struggled with tasks that should be as simple as breathing, and was more like a thorn in his side than anything else. 

You could list so many traits and things about him that could effortlessly show how he far exceeded the average person, even the Gods, how could you ever hope to live up to him? To a person who he deserved? You recall every time you ended up sobbing your heart out to him about these foolish matters, and yet every time he would listen, further ruining his research and schedule and- and, everything.

“I see,” he responds, his grip on you growing tighter, noticing your unleveled breathing. It is silent for a few moments, and you know he’s thinking of what to say, to ease your worries. It’s probably nothing you haven’t heard already though, so before he could waste his time, you interrupt him.

“Zandik. It’s my birthday. Let’s not talk about such things,” your voice is quiet and on the verge of being uncontrollably shaky. You ignore the prick of tears at the corner of your eyes and opt for hugging your husband instead. You hope that he takes pity on you and decides to let it go.

Dottore strokes your head for a few moments before pulling you back and taking off his mask, your eyes trembling as you struggle to look at him. 

“Look at me,” he says, as he thumbs your chin, preferring for you to listen instead of him forcing you like he usually does. You let out a soft sigh and eventually comply, only because you know that he always gets what he asks for when he’s like this. When you do look at him, his face doesn’t have a hint of softness, instead, it’s serious and solemn as he stares at you resolutely.

The look he gives you says that he’ll make sure you’re here for the next birthday, and the one after that, and all the ones decades and centuries from now, no matter what sins may stain his hands. You can only admire it for a few moments before you lean your head down. Even though he claimed not to be good at comfort and whatnot, he always made you happy… especially when it mattered.

“I love you, Zandik. So much. I don’t know what I’d do without you…” your words come out quieter than you want them to, but you got the message out anyway. Zandik doesn’t respond, but when he tilts your chin to kiss you, you know that he feels the same. You let him push you down on the blanket again, continuing to kiss you as he held your body firmly. You don’t know how much time passes, but the world is even darker now.

“It’s getting late,” Dottore commented, rubbing circles on your palm. You only weakly squeeze back in response. “Perhaps we should get back now.”

“Aren’t we leaving for Snezhnaya first thing tomorrow morning?” Dottore nodded in response to your question. “Then let me treasure this moment for a bit longer. Who knows when we’ll be able to do this again?” You looked away from him to the sky that was now dark, the stars glimmering above the two of you. Dottore’s gaze remained on you until he too looked away to share the same view as you.

“Very well,” he gave into your request and a comfortable silence fell between the two of you, as you moved your hand to intertwine with his own more firmly. The two of you said nothing as you continued to share the moment with each other, until the very end.

Il Dottore wasn’t a good man. Many people froze in fear at the mere mention of his name, their bodies cold at the thought of what he had done, and what he could do. He wasn’t the best lover either. You two didn’t always get along, there were obviously times he upset and frustrated you. Any normal person could probably think of a hundred reasons as to why you shouldn’t stay with Dottore.

But you knew that whatever remained of Zandik’s heart loved you, and that was all that mattered.

[rockingbytheseaside]

✦ I still love you, even though I miss you.

(sfw, angst, slight yandere - Pierro x gn reader, hinted to be connected with the abyss)

Pierro is a patient man.

Just as the immovable, snowy mountains of Snezhnaya, so is Pierro’s patience unbudging and certain. One would say The Jester’s gaze is even colder than those icy peaks on the horizon. It is no wonder a man of his caliber is the founder of the Fatui. His calculating attitude always lets him be five steps ahead of everyone, and it is precisely why you are here now.

You were in bed. Your chamber within the Snezhnayan Palace is pristine, and practically untouched even by you. The windows showcased a snowy landscape, and if that sight didn’t bring chills to anyone, then the ominous walls of the Palace certainly did. This luxurious room did not emit warmth, even if a small fireplace was lit.

No; This room was your confinement after your battle with the Fatui Harbingers. Now you were recovering, your body and mind unconscious

The Jester sat on the nearby chair, silently observing your sleeping form. There was barely a sound or motion within this secured chamber, save for his own troubled sigh. You have been slumbering in oblivion for days now, the impact of your previous battle forced you to exhaust the last drop of your mightiness, leaving even his top Harbingers wounded. In fact, The Zapolyarny Palace was still recovering from the destruction you brought into Snezhnaya. But now you are here, and after 500 years, the back of Pierro’s gloved hand caresses your skin in trembling worship.

To even reach this moment took many years, he thought to himself.

A long time ago, when The Doctor first became the 2nd of The Harbingers, Pierro assigned him a prolonged task. Use knowledge to locate that which can traverse the Abyss. Not a benign task, one may say; but one that required Il Dottore to use his expertise from his Akademiya days. One thing led to another, and The Doctor found that same thing that would be sent to the Abyss - A puppet.

A long time ago, when The Balladeer first became the 6th of The Harbingers, Pierro also assigned him a prolonged task. Search the Abyss for as much as he can. A straightforward assignment; alas it lacked much directive on what he was supposed to search there. Nonetheless, Scaramouche’s rank never allowed him to inquire further about the Jester, so he relied on any intel he could find. And find he did, in the murky insanity that lay hidden within the Abyss, some valuable information - The sky is a lie, there are those whose fate is not governed by the stars.

A long time ago, when The Captain first became the 1st of The Harbingers, Pierro assigned him a prolonged task. Prepare yourself to face the strongest opponent in the Abyss, for when the time comes you will be on the front line against the one The Jester seeks. Il Capitano was humbly keen, and as always accepted with a solemn nod. The strongest man in Teyvat would face the strongest being of the Abyss, and the Harbinger could not wait to meet the elusive entity.

Pierro was a patient man. He didn’t doubt that his army of harbingers would confirm that which he already suspected. Always several steps ahead of them. But now his plans were proceeding – getting a lead on the Abyss.

Not because the Abyss is an enemy of Teyvat and the Fatui, no. But because Pierro has suspected for centuries that an entity was harboring in the depth of darkness, hidden away from all mortal eyes. You, who was so brutally ripped from him after the Cataclysm, were alive and taking root in the realm of the Abyss.

Pierro still recalls the days of his youth, puerile and hardworking, when the kingdom of Khaenri’ah was still in its prime. You were so proud of him when he first got appointed as a royal court sage. No stars could compare your delight whenever you supported him with love and affection, the lingering memories of your small kisses still haunting the Director to this day. So naive and foolish. He was on the verge of starting a life with you, daydreaming of calling you his cherished spouse and building a home where the two of you would live out your peaceful days.

Those peaceful days never ensued, and he never managed to give you the ring he bought. The Cataclysm ushered the land with a veil of sin, with you forcing him to flee into Teyvat, while you vanished without a trace.

He almost thought you had perished, and mourned you every day until he built his Fatui organization from the ashes of sorrow.

Every action he took, every Harbinger he recruited, every order he gave, every plan he perfected – all for the intricate strategy of seeking you out from the Abyss, and bringing you back to his arms. Even if he had to sacrifice his best men and burn the Irminsul into cinders, he had no reservations.

Now he is back in the present, where you lay unconscious in bed, secured like a hidden gem within the Palace and pacified after a ferocious battle. Every day, The Jester checked on your well-being, secured your health, and waited patiently by your bedside. He never thought this day would come, and you would probably detest him for doing all this. It would be a bittersweet reunion once you wake up.

But Pierro was always a patient man. If it took 500 years to reach you, he wouldn’t mind another 500 years only to taste the sweetness of your kisses and envelop you in his embrace where you belong.

[horrorsboyfrie]

Loser!Zandik being crushed on by Popular!Reader

(masc terms on reader+ it's the typical corny social butterfly × weirdo shit, queer edition, honestly + Zandik displays traits of autism + a little murderous♡)

Zandik, as per usual, was spending the night's time in the library. It was quiet, for the most part. While a lot of his fellow peers were focused on finding answers for their own satisfaction, even those who viewed their values and research to be above everyone else's had someone to keep them company; for that reason, they often chose to borrow the necessary books and study in their respective dorms, or the dorms of their friends. Some did indeed prefer the setup of the library's sections and desks, but even so, the peaceful atmosphere was not interrupted by them.

Zandik sat on a table at the very ends of the room. He had a pile of books to his right; some half opened, and others neatly stack on top of each other. He had his notebook and pens nearby, taking notes of anything he deemed crucial knowledge for his personal projects.

Not long had he been entangled in his theories when a specific group of students decided to make an appearance. They could be heard from miles away— and it just so happened that they chose to sit on a table to his right. Malicious intent, no doubt. These people tended to act as if Zandik was some foreign species to be studied; as if he was a sort of a subject that needed constant supervision.

Of any day to endure the constant speculations and disgusted or concerned expressions towards him, today was not the right one. Nothing too horrific had happened to him, not something that would matter to an average person, at least. It's just that he slept wrong, causing him to wake up with slight neck pain, which played a role in worsening his already short temper, which in turn made his sensory issues towards his clothes, especially his socks, far more insufferable than they had to be. He was one unexpected move away from having a meltdown.

Yet again, he managed to ignore the obnoxiously loud 《whispers》 that sprouted out of those filthy rat-filled mouths of theirs, as Zandik's already-overwhelmed mind decided to call them.

Unfortunately for him, the multiple different voices started chanting even more nonsense as you walked towards the table— he could see that you were dreading it. Was everyone so damn bothered by his existence? You were known to be such a sweetheart— contrast to majority of boys there— by those who've interacted with you, but to be fair, none had a reputation quite like Zandik's, so it's no wonder you resented him, as everyone else did.

"Why'd we have to sit here?" he heard you emphasize. He looked your way; he could see the grins on the faces of your friends, the way they seemed to be picking on someone, hushed whispers, mentioning his name time after time, as if he wasn't barely three chairs away. Gods, his patience was running thin.

"Can we just switch seats?" He listened as you practically begged your friend, who was sitting on the complete opposite end of the table. As much as he may have claimed (to himself, seeing as he had none to actually confide in) not be a man driven by emotion, his worse sensory days were tempt to be a catastrophe in every way possible. He left soon after he heard those mumbles; he was too sensitive for his own good, even if he dismissed that fragile soul of his with walls of anger and apathy.

Your friends seemed to notice before you, the fact that he was no longer in the room. All you got was endless teasing about how you've missed your chance or about the fact that you probably 《intimidated》 him. Bullshit, no? You sighed as the group split up again, each going ahead to do their own thing. The only true reason they decided to meet up here was to force you into talking to him. That did not quite work out, it seems.

You hurried to leave as well, when you noticed a small pen on the ground. That must be his; you always see him writing with that specific shade of blue. It's not like nobody else in the whole Akademiya owned the same one, but he was sitting on the table you found it under. You decided to hold on to it. Perhaps it would be an opportunity to finally have a conversation with the guy!

On your way back to the dorms, you noticed him nearing his own room. Maybe now's the time to return him his belongings— especially considering how he seemed to be searching his pockets. His face was indifferent when he realized he didn't have the pen on him, but his hands were trermbling; a hint of anxiety perhaps? One could only speculate. You decided to leave him on his own. He probably wasn't up for company or conversation anyway.

The following few days weren't quite like you expected. Usually, you'd manage to get at least a glance your way by him; laughing at stupid jokes, bumping into people or objects that you could have easily avoided, accidentally saying things a bit too loud. Nothing worked this time. It's as if he purposefully was avoiding you; a fact that got confirmed after you tried walking towards him. He saw you—he made sure you saw his look, he held it for a couple of seconds— and then he walked away. Fuck, there's no way this guy wants anything to do with you.

Weeks later, you had grown to forget ever owning that pen of his; actually, you started using it for yourself. If you can't give it back, then why not use it for yourself?

Zandik, despite trying his hardest to keep his stares away from you and your friends (and pretty much everyone else in that damned building), couldn't help but notice that his long-gone favorite pen is under your possession.

After the very last class of the day, he decided to give you a visit; your fate had been decided by him already. He's done what he's done in the Eleazar hospital and got away with it. It wouldn't be hard to add another body into the endless pile of disappearances; he knew how to keep suspicion off his shoulders.

Perhaps it was a bit too far. He was letting his rage get the better of him; but gods, he really hadn't felt at ease writing with anything else. "His death would make no logical sense to my goals," he sighed as he reminded himself. "What sort of researcher puts his emotions above his values?" He groaned— frustrated both at himself for considering such a solution to his problems, and at the situation itself.

Times like these, he'd go to his special place to sit and think; it was a big tree, near a lake. Children would often talk about their encounters with the Aranara there. At first, he only ever visited that place so he could find one creature and take it for himself, but he grew quite comfortable being there.

He grabbed the opportunity by its hand once he spotted you all alone; sitting with your back against that very same tree that he favored. As if you had a seventh sense, you turned around to see him. He wasn't quite prepared to be greeted with a smile. It caught him off guard; why were you, of all people, showing any form of sympathy for him?

"I was hoping you'd be here" you said, handing him the pen that he has been desperately trying to get a hold of again.

[kzrosa-writes]

remnants of a lost love for a ghost | dottore x reader

prompt: after four hundred years, you are reunited with your past lover, except he wasn't the same person you used to know

notes: angst, no happy ending, mentions of blood and swords, mentions of death n killing each other, dottore is an emotional mess, aether is the traveler, more angst

a/n: this has been in my drafts for almost a month... i am proud to say i finally finished it! im such a softy for dottore so it was hard to write something so sad for him 😭💔

word count: 6k

Dottore had never been one to fall in love. He always had his priorities straight: his experiments, his role as the Second Fatui Harbinger, and his pursuit of knowledge. Everyone knew Dottore as the cold-hearted, cruel and apathetic Second Harbinger, a man who values the results of his atrocious, unethical experiments over the lives of humans.

Yet, he found himself frozen in place as he stood before you, the only person he had ever loved. You held yourself with grace and confidence, striding towards him from across the snowy lands of Snezhnaya. You held your sword firmly in your right hand, the tip of the metal grazing against the ground below you with each step you took. An old memory from his past, his lover during his time in the Sumeru Akademiya, was now standing right in front of his very eyes.

Y/N L/N... You were known as the prodigious traveller who fought alongside the legendary traveller Aether — you were the Fatui's most formidable enemy, and the very person that he was meant to fight and kill.

Dottore could feel his chest tighten at the sight of you. It had been over four centuries since he had last heard of or seen you after he had been expelled from the Akademiya for his immoral and unethical experiments. You still looked as beautiful as he remembered all those centuries ago, although much has changed about you. Your once-pristine skin was now decorated with scratches and battle scars, a reminder of the battles you had fought and a reminder of how you got to where you were now. You now adorned a black rose insignia on your waist, a mark that signified your affiliation with the Fatui's most formidable rival organisation.

However, what didn't change was the burning sparks of determination and resolution in your eyes. It was something he could never forget, no matter how many times he tried to forget about you. His eyes lingered all over your figure, his gaze landing on a flower in your hair. It was a Kalpalata Lotus, the very flower Dottore had gifted you during your days in the Akademiya. He still remembered the ebullient smile on your face, how effervescent you had been when he had gifted you the flower. He still remembered all the hours he had spent perfecting the preservation process, ensuring that the flower was perfect, just for you.

He had to hold himself back, to resist the tantalising urge to reach out to you and hold you in his arms again. Oh, how he missed the feel of your skin against his own, your warmth seeping into his heart like the old days. But things weren’t the same anymore. He had to remind himself that you weren’t the same person he used to know and that things have changed throughout the past few centuries. He held his breath, attempting to rein in his emotions.

"Y/N..." Dottore called out, his voice betraying the pain in his heart.

You took a few stops closer, your grip on your sword still firm. "Second Harbinger of Snezhnaya... Il Dottore."

He felt his heart shatter into pieces at the sound of your voice calling out to him by his Harbinger title, your tone cold and apathetic. He desperately wanted to break free from his emotions and the restraints of his title, to throw himself into your arms after all these years, but he couldn't.

With a firm step forward, Dottore spoke again, his voice trembling in the slightest. "Y/N... It has been so long. Do you... still remember me?”

The twitch of confusion in your eyes was more than inconspicuous to Dottore. He felt his heart ache with vigour at the lack of recognition from you. Have you forgotten about him? All those years you had spent together in the Akademiya... did they all mean nothing to you? Was his love for you all in vain?

"We... We used to go to the Akademiya together!" Dottore said, his voice cracking in the slightest. "Don't you... Don't you remember?”

At this point, Dottore was desperate for you to remember anything, even if it were the bad memories. It pained him to see how clueless and indifferent you were, how oblivious you were to the anguish and distress in front of you.

Your gaze hardened into one of apathy. "I don't remember attending the Akademiya with a psychopathic heretic."

As the words slipped right out of your mouth, your eyes widened with realisation, as if a memory had been unlocked from within.

“W-Wait.”

Dottore felt his heart being torn apart. He let out a bitter chuckle as he felt your words stabbing into his heart like a knife. Of course, you had remembered him as the heretic of the Akademiya, just as everyone else in the Akademiya had remembered him as the heretic who performed unethical, immoral and dangerous research and experiments, all in the name of science, and to satiate his naive curiosity.

Your breath was now caught in your throat, coming out in ragged and laboured exhales. You shook your head as if you were trying to deny the reality in front of you.

"N-No... This can't be..." The sword that was in your hands was now trembling with uncertainty. "...Zandik."

There it was: Zandik, his real name, one that meant 'heretic'. He couldn't hold back a bitter scoff at the sound of his old name, a name he had tried so desperately to forget, along with the painful memories of his past.

Despite those painful memories, he can never truly forget the memories and times he spent together with you. The memories of your shared time in the Akademiya were now playing like a montage in his head; the images and memories of laughing together, studying in the library together and working on projects, talking about your favourite academic theories and philosophies... He remembered how close the two of you were, how he could make you laugh easily, the lunch breaks you two spent together by the lush field in Sumeru, and the jokes you shared. He remembered the evenings you spent together by his side while picking flowers in the forest, the soft whispers of love and comfort shared with each other, or the stolen kisses in the dimly lit corridors of the Akademiya... how could he ever forget those memories? His heart longed for those days again, when life was much simpler and when all they had to stress about was deadlines.

Now that he was finally in front of you after all those years, he was unsure of what to do. Dottore was on the verge of breaking into tears, his heart swelling with longing and despair at the sight of your disbelief. With shaky hands, he slowly reached for his mask before hesitantly taking it off, revealing his crimson scarlet orbs — a sight you could never forget despite all the years that had passed.

He slowly took a step forward, trying his best not to scare you away. He had to be closer to you to convince himself that you were really there and not just a hallucination. He wanted to say so many things, mutter many apologies, beg for your forgiveness… but nothing could escape his lips.

It took all his willpower and strength not to succumb to his own desires and longing to reach out to you and break down. Rather, he just stood there, staring back at you with a mixture of hope and despair, two opposites of the same spectrum. He took a deep breath, bracing himself for what he was about to ask of you.

“Y/N… Do you… Do you still have any feelings for me..?”

Your eyes widened in shock, your breath hitching and your grip on your sword tightening more than ever from his unexpected question. You stood frozen in place, unable to move or respond. You had no idea how you were supposed to respond to such a question, especially after finding out that your very enemy and opponent… was the very man you used to love deeply with all your heart and soul. The Fatui Harbinger who had been trying to stop you… was your old lover.

“I-It's… It's been too long.. Zandik. We haven't seen each other… ever since you'd been expelled.”

He closed his eyes shut for a moment, recalling the painful and bitter memories of being expelled and thrown out of the Akademiya, shunned and mocked by everyone. He recalled the feeling of being torn apart, the day he lost everything… including you. It was a day he could never forget, regardless of how much he wanted to. He took a deep breath before opening his eyes, taking one more step further.

“Indeed… It’s been way too long…” He repeated your words, his voice close to a mumble.

He could almost feel how tense you were, how vulnerable and distraught you were. He knew that this was the best opportunity to strike, to end her, to get his mission over with. But no matter how much he screamed at himself to go through with the plan… he couldn't find it in him to do so. He couldn't help himself, he wanted — no, needed — to know your answer. He had to.

“Please, Y/N…” He swallowed anxiously, trying to rein in his emotions. “...Do you still feel anything for me?”

“Are you asking me this as Dottore… or Zandik?”

Dottore's body froze in shock, the question catching him completely off guard. And yet, it was probably the most sensible thing you could ask him. After all, it had been several centuries since you had last seen him. He had changed, and you had too. You knew him as two entirely different people, and he could understand that.

He took a moment to gather his thoughts, hesitantly slightly before replying, “I'm asking you this… as Zandik.”

He knew that this was risky, that his reputation and role as a Fatui Harbinger could be jeopardised by letting his guard down in front of the enemy, but he couldn't care less about the consequences.

You, on the other hand, felt your chest tighten at his words. Your throat was tight, feeling a lump preventing you from breathing properly. Your grip on your sword slowly loosened, your hands trembling ever so slightly.

“I… I do.”

That was it. His heart stopped in his chest at the sound of those two words, your confirmation. Such a simple response, yet it carries so much meaning. It carried all the dreams and fantasies he had always imagined for the past four centuries… It was everything he could have hoped for. And yet, a wave of overwhelming emotions crashed through him like a violent tide in a stormy sea. Just like raging waters, Dottore was suffering an internal maelstrom of relief, joy, hope and desperation. He couldn't believe it. Centuries of desperate longing, of missing you, of mourning your loss in his life… and you were finally here, right in front of him.

He could feel himself slowly moving towards you, his movements in deliberate and shaky steps. It was absolutely excruciating to be so close to you, yet so far. He couldn't help himself, he needed to hold you in his arms again.

But that all came crashing down when he saw you back away, watching you as your grip on your sword trembled with overwhelming shock.

“P-Please…” You begged, your eyes glistening with sorrow and anguish. “..D-Don't.”

He stopped in his tracks, watching you as you backed away. It broke his heart to see that reaction from you, to see how you were clearly struggling to cope with everything. But at the same time, he could hear the desperation in your voice, the plea for him to stay where he was. Somehow… that gave him a small, miniscule amount of hope. He knew that this wasn't going to be an easy conversation, that this would take a lot of courage and strength from the both of you… but he was willing to do it. Anything for you.

He took a deep breath, trying to study himself before speaking again, trying his best to stay grounded and not let his desperation and longing for you show too much.

“Say it again, Y/N. Say it again without any fear, any doubt or any hesitation. Say those words again, and I promise I won't take another step closer to you.” He said, his voice trembling with each word. “Please, Y/N… I need to hear you say it again.”

You exhale shakily, your grip on your sword slowly becoming firmer.

“I… I still love you, Zandik.” You clenched your fist wrapped around the hilt of your sword, your breathing still erratic. “...But you're not Zandik anymore, aren't you?”

His heart clenched when he heard your words, the flicker of hope slowly dying out. It was almost too good to be true. He almost had it, everything he truly wanted, and yet… he knew you were right. He wasn't the same man he used to be in the Akademiya.

“You're… correct.” His voice was soft, almost inaudible. “I'm not Zandik anymore.”

There was no denying it. He was an entirely different person now, and the moments and memories you had shared were too far in the past, so many centuries ago. And yet, the fact that you still felt something for him and confessed your love to him despite all those years apart… he couldn't deny that he still had hope. The fact that you still loved him after all this time, the fact that you hadn't let go of the love you had for him… that was all he cared about in this moment.

Dottore could feel his heart clench and palpitate, his chest tightening with a mixture of love, hope, guilt and desperation. He missed you so much; he missed everything about you, from your voice to your touch to your scent. He missed the times he'd spent with his arms wrapped around you in the forest as you basked in the glory of nature during your midnight rendezvous in your favourite spot of the forest, enjoying each other's presence and warmth in the cold, chilly night air. All he wanted was to hear you say those words again. Those three words, so simple and so short yet carrying such a heavy meaning. All he wanted was to hear that it was him you loved, and not just his former self.

“Please… tell me again. Tell me that you still love me, and not Zandik. I need to hear you say it.” His voice was close to an anguished whisper, a desperate plea. “I need to know that it's me that you feel something for… and not just a memory of someone that no longer exists.”

“I… I can't do that.”

Dottore could feel his heart slowly break apart from your words. A part of him had been hoping, foolishly hoping, that even after all these years, after all the atrocities he had committed as a naive scholar and a Harbinger, you would still feel some sort of affection for him. He couldn't bring himself to speak, his heart swelling with pain and desperation.

“...Why…?”

His words came out as a broken whisper as he felt the resolve and hope in his heart slowly fade away. You still loved Zandik, the old him, the person he used to be all those centuries ago. But somehow, there had still been a part of him that had foolishly hoped that your feelings for him would still be the same after all this time. He was terrified, absolutely petrified, of your answer. He knew that your answer might break him for good, but he had to know the truth.

“I still love you, Zandik… I really still do.” You said softly, your voice was wavering with pain and sincerity.

Dottore could feel his heart swelling with hope and longing, his mind racing with anticipation. Perhaps, just somehow, he hoped that you were willing to embrace his new identity.

Your hands were trembling terribly to the point you dropped your sword, the hilt of the blade knocking onto your foot. You felt your chest tighten and the air in your lungs slowly getting sucked out, holding back an anguished cry. Your lips were wobbling and your eyes were watery, beady crystals threatening to spill loose. Despite this, you managed to voice out in a choked whisper.

“Because… you're no longer the man I used to love.”

He knew he had been foolish to hope that maybe, just maybe, you would be able to accept him and embrace his new identity. But there it was, the confirmation he desperately looked for. Your words shattered his heart into pieces, ripping his soul apart with no way of mending it. He had the confirmation he was looking for about how you felt about him, that what you felt was just love for a man that ceased to exist.

“...And you cannot love the man I am now?”

Dottore’s voice was raw, weak and almost pleading. There was a hint of desperation in his words, as if he was praying that there could be an actual chance that you could still feel something for him, regardless of who he was now. That tiny sliver of hope that ached in the remnants of his shattered heart still flickered and burned passionately. But deep down, he knew you wouldn't, he knew that it wasn't possible. And yet, he still chose to ask that question, a question that could crush his soul further.

“I-I… I don't know.”

A bitter scoff broke the dreadful silence that loomed in the air. He knew what your answer was. He knew deep down that you would never, and could never love the person he was now, no matter how hard you tried. He knew that you loved a ghost, someone who no longer existed in this cruel world. He let out another sharp laugh, a laugh filled with bitterness and harshness.

“Of course. Of course you can't. I would expect you to love someone… like me.”

He closed his eyes for a moment. It was all he could do to keep his composure without showing you the immense pain he was feeling inside. He had been too foolish to hope that there was even the slightest possibility for you to love him, even if it was just a few sparks of affection, despite the person he had become.

You wanted to say something, to retaliate and to tell him otherwise… but you couldn't. Nothing could escape from your lips. You stood there, trembling and shaking, as a single bead of water escaped your lids. You clenched your fist, forcing yourself to not break down. Especially not… not in front of Il Dottore, the Second Fatui Harbinger… and the person you were meant to end.

“...I-I don't know how am I supposed to kill you now.”

Dottore's eyes widened slightly at your words, noticing how your voice was shaky and uncertain. He could see that you were struggling to maintain your composure, how your eyes were watery as if you were on the verge of tears.

“...And why? What's… holding you back?” Dottore took a step closer, his eyes locked onto yours, his chest aching with pain, and a small flicker of hope.” “Why are you so hesitant to kill me?”

You took a step back, more tears spilling. “Stop.” Your voice was shaky, coming out almost as a plea. “Don't move closer, please.”

The sound of your voice saying those words, so desperate and so shaky, caused his chest to ache and tighten further. He stopped in his tracks, watching you keenly as you struggled to hold back your tears. Dottore swallowed hard, trying to pull himself together.

“Why?” He prodded, still staying in place. “Why can't I come closer to you?”

His voice wobbled slightly, his chest aching with a strange mixture of pain and hope. He wanted to be closer to you, to hold you in his arms as he basked in your presence, but he didn't dare to make a move, not while he could see the look of uncertainty in your eyes.

“I…” You swallowed anxiously, uncertainty written all over your face. “...I can't do this, Zandik.”

Dottore winced at the sound of his old, former name, yet a small part of him ached to hear it again. He wanted to hear you say his name, the name he went by now. He wanted you to know him, not the ghost of a man who had long disappeared from this world. He took another shaky breath, trying to keep his voice steady as he spoke.

“Please… don't call me that…”

You clenched your fists, shaking away the tears that stained your face. Your expressions changed from despair to one of apathy, the sparks in your eyes slowly dying down before being extinguished.

“I can't do this… Dottore.”

Your tone was cold and harsh, devoid of any remaining emotion left inside of you.

Dottore's heart twisted inside his chest at the sudden change in your mood and tone, the use of his Harbinger name sounding almost… resentful. It was almost as if you had shut down every single emotion from your body all at once. He watched as you swiftly picked up your sword from the ground, your grip tightening on the hilt. He had no doubt that if he were to come any closer towards you, you'd attempt to slice off his head without a moment of hesitation.

Dottore didn't speak. Instead, he watched you silently as his chest ached from the complete change in demeanour. He couldn't help but miss the moments before, the glimpse of your vulnerability, and the flicker of emotions in your eyes. But now… you were everything but that.

“What do you intend to do now…?” Dottore asked, his voice hesitant. He knew that he was only digging himself a deeper grave, but he could stop himself from trying his luck further and further.

Your fingers trembled as you held the hilt of your blade, your voice soft and uncertain. “...I don't know.”

Dottore could hear the uncertainty in your voice, your inner turmoil evident. That almost let him fill his heart with hope again. Almost. But that cold, harsh tone and the apathy in your expressions held him back. He hated it. He absolutely loathed it. Dottore took a small step forward, ignoring the way your body tensed at his actions.

“What does that mean..?” His voice dropped to a low whisper. He knew he was pushing his luck, but he was desperate for anything.

“I… I can't bring myself to draw my sword onto you.”

Dottore’s eyes widened slightly at your reply, his heart warming up for a small flicker of hope. You couldn't bring yourself to draw your sword on him… perhaps there was still a chance. He took another step forward, the distance slowly closing between you two.

“...Is that so?”

“Don't move any closer.” You said — rather, you commanded. Your voice was firmer and louder, any sign of hesitation completely vanished. You raised your sword in the slightest out of instinct, but something was holding you back.

Dottore watched warily as you lifted your sword, noticing your hesitation. He took another small step forward, trying to keep his emotions in check. “And why should I stop…?”

“Please, Dottore.” You begged, desperation evident in your voice. “Don't.”

He stayed in his place, keenly observing your conflicted expressions. “Why not, Y/N?”

He knew he was pushing it, but he couldn't care less about anything else at this moment. All he wanted was you, to have you back in his life again, to have you in his arms. But your next words hit him hard, the cold and harsh reality of the situation slapping him like a hard brick.

“I'm supposed to kill you, Dottore.”

Dottore grimaced slightly, your words cutting through him like a knife to the heart. Of course, he knew this. He was fully aware that they were still enemies regardless of their past, and that they both had a duty to fulfil. But to hear you say it so coldly, so bluntly… It still hurts.

He let out a soft chuckle, one filled with resignation. “...That's right. You're… You're supposed to.”

Despite knowing this, he couldn't stop himself. You were his enemy, the very person he was supposed to kill. He had to end your life, to take away your soul from this world, and you would have to do the same. Regardless, he still yearned for you, for what you used to share. The thought of you trying to slice his head off pained him immensely, causing his thoughts to swim in an endless sea of despair.

“Then… What is stopping you?” He prodded further, taking another step forward. He was now only a few inches away from you, and he didn't miss the way you flinched fearfully at the proximity.

“I… I can't.” You finally managed to speak, your voice a choked whisper. Your grip on your sword tightened to the point your knuckles were stained white. Apathy and indifference were painted all over your face, your eyes lacking their usual spark.

Dottore stayed silent, his heart and mind racing frantically. Hearing your hesitance rekindled the sparks of his hope in his heart that had been hastily extinguished, with hopes that they would flicker and burn into a bright fire of passion. You said you couldn't kill him, but why? Why couldn't you do it? That gave him hope. Your hesitance gave him the hope he had desperately prayed for, the hope that you still had some feelings for him despite everything.

“...Why not? Why can't you kill me?”

“Don't test your luck, Harbinger of Snezhnaya.”

Your voice came out in a harsh, yet firm command, your eyes showing a flicker of anger. Your emotions were all swirled up together, and you were unable to discern between how you truly felt.

Dottore chuckled faintly, a weak grin on his face. He knew you were close to snapping, but he had to try. He had to see how much he could push you before you broke before him, and he had to do everything he could just for a chance.

“Test my luck? No need. I already know you still care for me.” His voice was firm as he took another step forward to him, your shoes touching.

You took a step backwards, your breath hitching as you clutched onto your sword.

“Stop it.”

“Why should I? After all, you're hesitating to kill me. You care, don't you? I know you still care, Y/N.”

He watched as your eyes twitched slightly, as if you were in an inner state of turmoil. He knew you, he knew you were torn between your duty to eliminate him as his enemy and your lingering feelings for him. He knew he should stop… but he couldn't.

He walked closer towards you, his gaze firm as he locked eyes with you. “You're frustrated, aren't you? You want to fulfil your duty and hurt me… but you can't bring yourself to do it, can you?”

You gritted your teeth, taking more steps backwards. Dottore could hear the soft scraping of metal from your blade as you dragged it against the floor, your eyes staring back at him with a sharp, intimidating glare.

“What's wrong?” He taunted. “Why are you backing away from me?”

Finally, you felt your self-control snap. Every vulnerable emotion you had pent up inside of you completely dried up, leaving only anger and resentment.

You drew your blade to his throat, your stance firm. Your eyes were cold and devoid, as if you were a completely different person.

“Stop it, Harbinger of Snezhnaya.”

Dottore let out a soft exhale, his eyes widening slightly as he felt the cold tip of your blade prodding at his throat, a reminder of the situation and predicament you both were in. The deadly look in your eyes caused him to wince slightly, dreading how different you became after everything. You radiated a dangerous aura, absolutely merciless and angry.

“...And what if I don't?”

He felt the tremor of the blade on his neck, a clear sign of your uncertainty. He knew he was walking on thin ice, but he knew he was close. Just a little bit more…

“I could end your very life right now, Dottore.”

Your words were firm and sharp, like a cold blade close to piercing him. You felt a bitter taste in your mouth every time you spoke his Harbinger name, a constant reminder that he wasn't the same person he used to be. He wasn't the naive scholar of the Akademiya, but the merciless, cold-hearted Second Fatui Harbinger, although he seemed anything but that in that moment.

“Come on… Why are you hesitating?” Dottore continued to taunt you, trying to gauge a reaction out of you. “I'm your enemy. You're supposed to kill me.”

You clenched your jaw, pressing the tip of the blade further onto his throat. You watched as tiny beads of red liquid trickled down his neck, his shirt stained with his own blood.

He hissed sharply as he felt the cold edge of the blade press onto his skin. He knew that he was crossing the line, but he was too far gone now. All he could do now was gamble everything away. From now on, it was all or nothing.

“...Then why aren't you doing it?”

Deep inside, he was starting to wonder if you would go through with it. You had everything set up: the blade against his throat, him in a vulnerable state, and authority over him. But in his heart, he still had hope. Dottore still had hope in you, that you would spare him and slowly accept how things were.

His hope and happiness were ephemeral, shattering and crashing almost as fast as it was formed when you bit back a sharp cry and shut your eyes as you slashed your sword on his shoulder. You dropped the blade, hand trembling from the aftershock.

Dottore had expected this, but he didn't expect the sharp sting that suddenly flared in his shoulder, causing him to gasp in agony. He exhaled sharply, his anticipation replaced with a wave of pain and hurt.

He gritted his teeth as he tried to ignore the stinging pain in his shoulders, letting out a shaky chuckle. “There… You did it, Y/N. You've injured me… So why haven't you killed me yet?”

“God damn it, will you stop?!”

Your sudden scream was sharp and piercing, catching Dottore off guard with your outburst. You clenched your jaw in anger, trying to maintain your composure. You kicked your sword that you had dropped away.

You exhaled sharply as you turned around. You slowly walked away from him, before turning back to face him once more.

“...Don't make me regret killing you… when I had the chance.”

Your words and tone were bitter and harsh, filled with resentment and apathy. You looked at him for the very last time, looked at the ghost of a man you once loved, and looked at ‘Zandik’ for the very last time before walking away. You held your breath, trying to bite back the tears that were desperately threatening to spill.

Dottore was shocked by your sudden words, taken aback by your bitter and harsh tone. He watched as you turned away, walking further away from him. Each step you took felt like a stab through his heart, bleeding with his agony and despair. The sight of you walking away hurt more than the deep scar you left on his shoulder.

He wanted to call you back, to stop you from leaving, but he knew any attempts would be futile. He tried to obviate the need to call out to you, to reach out and stop you from leaving, but his heart swelled with sorrow and regret. Instead, he stood there, watching you walk further and further away, leaving him with a feeling of emptiness and hopelessness.

He felt like his heart was being torn apart, ripped and shredded into pieces. He could see in your eyes that you still cared for him, even if it was just a little. He was thankful, truly thankful, that you had spared his life… but he knew that this decision of yours would forever haunt him until the days of his passing.

He struggled to keep his emotions buried away, to hide them away. But seeing you walk away like that… he felt a drop of water drip down his chin, followed by another. Soon enough, an incessant stream of tears cascaded down his cheeks, dampening his shirt. He felt his shirt being ensanguined with his own blood, the wound caused by your blade crying out with tears of blood.

With that, all his defences slipped away as he dropped to his knees, his vision blurred and his eyes watery. It was absolutely agonising, almost soul-crushing, to accept that you had walked away and left him for good. Dottore felt his body and soul overwhelmed with the feeling of helplessness and sadness, almost unbearable. He had lost you, his everything, and he had no one to blame for it… but himself.

He sat on the ground, his body shaking with silent sobs as he allowed himself to break down and lose himself in agony and despair. He had never felt this way before, completely alone and utterly heartbroken… it was killing him inside. He had lost you, the only person he genuinely cared about, the very person he had been trying to keep himself alive for, the only person… he truly loved.

Amid his breakdown, he happened to catch a glimpse of a silver-blue object on the ground, lying just a few meters away from a shiny metal on the ground, presumably your blade that you had discarded. Clearing his blurry vision, he gazed at the object, and his heart broke and shattered further.

It was the preserved Kalpalata Lotus he had gifted you.

Dottore froze, his eyes widening in disbelief as he saw the Kalpalata Lotus lying on the ground near your discarded sword. He felt another wave of overwhelming pain and heartbreak wash over him, his heart clenching further at the sight of the flower. It was a painful and gut-wrenching reminder that he had truly lost you.

He crawled on the ground, picking up the flower in his trembling hands, holding it delicately as if it was something precious and fragile — which it was. Dottore slowly lifted the flower to eye level, studying it as if he were trying to ingrain it into his memory. He noted the smallest, little details about the flower — the blue petals, the silver veins and its delicate shape. It was all too familiar, all too painful, all too much.

A fresh wave of tears spilt down his cheeks as he held onto the flower like it was his lifeline, the only thing anchoring him from this pain, the only thing keeping him from completely falling apart.

Dottore clutched onto the flower in his hand, the memories of you flooding his mind like a violent stream, each one more painful than the last. The thought of never seeing you again, never talking to you again, never holding you again… it was too much for him to bear.

Dottore knew that he was destined to fall like this. He wasn't the strong, cold-hearted, and merciless Second Fatui Harbinger right now. Instead, he was the young, naive scholar from the Akademiya again. The man you used to love… the person you loved with your whole heart and soul. Right now, he was Zandik, not Il Dottore. In this moment, he was the heartbroken, young boy who had experienced the pain of losing the very person he loved all over again, just like four hundred years ago.

— masterlist ・ navi ・ request rules

[cyber-night]

Dottores younger segments have harsh mood swings, and so the lab equipment is extra durable to accommodate his anger issues. Things like glass beakers, rods, and specimen jars are made of extra durable glass in case he throws them. There's stim toys and chews everywhere so he can Try and deal with his emotions healthily. This is all more common in the teen and young adult clones. The older ones have suppressed their emotions so they can do more science™️. He has never gotten violent or angry at you though, he could never. If he hurt you, he'd go insane... well... more insane.

Smut below

There are only two ways to calm him down when he's like this. Wait or get you. It takes time still, and he's incredibly clingy because his mind is too loud, and he's frustrated, but he calms down. Sometimes his mind is loud in a way that needs to be fucked out of him. It has to be hard rough bordering on too much when he's like this, or else it just adds to his frustrations. Either way once he's finally calm he's exhausted even if you didn't fuck him he's tired that much rage takes everything out of him and he has to nap for like 4 hours.

[daturabouquet]

Love Worth Dying For

[Angst, comfort ish?, SFW, Dottore x reader]

-----------------------

even after dating Dottore for years, you can't help but still believe that every single piece of affection he gives you is all a lie, like a social experiment. He's always a man of knowledge, willing to crush everything that gets in his way. You can't help but keep believing that he'll crush you next, it's in his principles after all.

Even with this belief, you always play along and enjoy his affection, as it is much much better than being dead. Deep down, you feel like everything he does is a social experiment, a lie, an act to fulfill his desire for knowledge, maybe this one is an experiment about "Human Affection".

You can't trust him at all, and his occasional anger outbursts that he unleashes on you doesn't make it any better. You are always ready for him to drop the act, and dispose of you just like his other experiments.

You don't trust him.

But on Dottore's side, you were his first ever love. He didn't know how to show love properly, so he stayed up at night, secretly researching how to show affection.

He knew he was a heartless madman, yet he fell in love with you. He fell for your genuine nature, how you still viewed him as human while others would view him as a demon.

He loved you, he really did. He's never had someone "trust" him, someone who still saw something good in him, someone who cared for his well being, someone like you.

He saw you as special, someone who somehow tolerated his actions. You are such a sweetheart, someone with good intentions, and would never want to harm anyone. How did someone like you, gain a relationship with him?

Dottore never viewed you as an experiment. He tries his best to show what's in his cold heart, he wants to give you affection, to tell you that he loves you too. He adores your trust in him.

But, you don't trust him.

When you finally communicated this, your lover was crushed. Turns out, you are just like all the others; fearful, distrustful, intimidated. He fell for you, just to be slapped in the face by reality. He is a monster, and even though you love the monster, you still can't trust the monster.

He was angry, he was disappointed, he was... devastated.

In a way, it made sense to him. Why would someone like you fully trust him? A murderer, a sadistic maniac, a man with little to no morals.

He couldn't believe it, all the times he held you, you were bracing for impact. All the times he kissed you, you were ready to be hurt.

But worst of all, whenever he decides to open up to you, you listen so lovingly, your smile always decorating your face, and you always manage to whisk all of his concerns away. You still did this while believing you might die the next day by his bloody gloved hands.

but deep down, both of you knew that you loved each other. He'd never hurt you, and you'll continue loving him, even if it's the last thing you do.

It both crushed him and comforted him, when he realized that you were willing to risk your own life everyday, to love him.

[rainynightmoonlight]

the SAGAU if only i could hold you through a screen was great :') would you accept doing a g/n one with the harbingers? if thats too many, maybe just childe and arlecchino if thats ok c:

If only I could hold you through a screen | Harbinger addition!

Characters: Childe, Arlecchino, Dottore, Signora

Summary: Self Aware Harbingers watch you cry, not sure what to do or how to help. All of a sudden you drop the line "I wish you were here with me."

Warnings: Reader is crying, possessive behavior, immense anger, violent thoughts, death, genshin spoilers

A/U: Self aware genshin AU

A/n: Thank you so much anon!! I'm so glad you liked it! SO instead of doing all the harbingers I thought of doing the ones that I have been introduced too through the game! Yes I'm including Signora, so that will be during her battle in that one weekly domain gut wrenching 👍Also sorry if this is OOC

CHILDE

You staring at Childe through the character screen was off-putting enough for him. But then with tears streaming down your face? That was when he became deeply concerned for you. There was this anger bubbling inside him, he wanted to take it out on those that made you cry. He wanted nothing more than to be there with you to comfort you. 

He started to do his idle where his bow shows up, resisting the urge to shoot something around him. You were hyperventilating, the tears overwhelming your eyes. He hated seeing you like this, he wanted to see your smile again. Your broken voice hit his ears as he put his bow away. He stared at you as you muttered to yourself.

“I wish you were with me…”

Your words shattered his heart. He didn’t think that you, an all mighty being, could be so vulnerable. And that fact you were so vulnerable in front of him, call him selfish, but he felt so happy that he was the person you could feel like this with. He just watched you cry, plotting the downfall of those that had harmed you. No one would get away with hurting a god such as yourself. 

He calmed down as he saw you drift off to sleep. His eyes were dark with rage, as his gaze from your sleeping figure didn’t break. Your screen dimmed due to inactivity, and his body was stiff. There was only one thing in his mind. And that thought passed through his lips as you could slightly hear him in your sleep.

“Dry your tears, you will have a wonderful place here in the Fatui. You will be protected within the Tsaritsa’s care and mine too.”

LA SIGNORA

You were crying as you had the pause menu open. You thought you could handle this fight against Signoria again. You never liked killing her over and over again, it was too much to your already aching head and heart. She realized you had stopped fighting her, and she saw your crying state. Signoria wanted to go easy on you, hoping you’d just finish this already. She didn’t like fighting you, much like how you didn’t like fighting her.

She felt so upset that someone could have this power over you. Signoria couldn’t even think that you, an all mighty being, could be so vulnerable. She then felt the battle continue, figuring that you decided to push through your sadness. She admired you for the way you would push though. Then the words you screamed out as you continued the fight with her hurt her so much.

“I wish you were with me!

Her anger couldn’t be contained as flames came out of her dress. It was a lot more intense as you tried to beat her. She let you win, however, with one of your best times in her domain. She just hoped it would have made you feel a little better. She saw you exit, feeling so bad as she wished you stayed. She longed for you, and she watched you as you stood outside her domain. 

And after you fell asleep, standing outside the domain, AFK she could still see you. She could see your sleeping, tear stained face. It hurt her knowing that not only fighting her made you so sad, but someone outside their world made you sad. She brought a hand up to the window as she just stared at the carrier of your actions. She muttered out to herself, hoping you heard her in your resting state.

“Even in death, I will try my best to protect you, all mighty creator…”

DOTTORE

You had been attached to Dottore ever since he was shown in the manga. He could feel your attachment even before the game released, even before his story in the game was shown. He admired you so much, and he hated that he had to turn everyone in Sumeru against you. His cutscene played, but he was intrigued when he saw you crying. He started to think that you were so hurt by his plot, by how the whole story quest was going.

He wasn’t far away after that cut scene. He stayed around, wanting to make sure you were okay. But he could only hear your sobbing, and he got closer, wanting to comfort you. The more you cried, the more he wanted to see you. The more he wanted you to see him and his comforting gaze, and it hurt him when you stuttered out of your tears. 

“I w-wish y-you w-were with m-m-me.”

He found your stuttering crying voice cute, but he wanted to help you so bad. Dottore couldn’t bring himself to accept the fact that someone could make you cry. It hurt him when you said that you needed him when he wasn’t there. He wanted so bad to be with you, to comfort you. His mind went to crazy places.

He noticed you were falling asleep, letting the dialogue pause to let you sleep peacefully. He felt honored to see a god like you, fall asleep and be peaceful. He wanted to kill those that made you sad, made you cry like this. His mind was plotting as the screen dimmed. He muttered to himself, not wanting the others around to notice he was there.

“I will do anything to those that make you cry, wire their brains to worship you like the god you are.”

ARLECCHINO

You were so excited to finally see Arlecchino after the trailers and leaks from the community. But you felt so upset during the quest, you couldn’t handle not crying. As you were listening to her dialogue, you were sobbing. Arlecchino’s ears perked up as she heard your sad sobs. It shocked her that you, the all seeing being, could be this vulnerable.

She became more concerned the longer you stayed on her dialogue screen. She had just met you, but she had heard of you through word of mouth, since you were a popular deity that was worshiped all over Teyvat. But seeing you like this for the first time was new. You had trusted her enough, after one interaction, to cry in front of her. Then your soft sad voice spoke up and she was stunned.

“I wish you were with me.”

Her eyes widened when she heard your soft and sad voice say that. She wanted you with her, too, to be worshiped like the god you are. She had always fantasized of all the children of the House of the Hearth meeting you, as they all admired you. She set up a room for you, and she wanted you there more than ever. But there was this rage that someone did this to you, made you this sad.

She sighed as it seemed she would be stuck in this dialogue for a little bit as you fell asleep. She was content, though, seeing you now calm from your previous crying fit. She broke out of her pose to bring her hand to her chin, as she thought to herself. Her gaze was soft as she stared at your sleeping face. She broke the code once more as she spoke off the script.

“I wish I were with you, to wipe away your tears. Once you come here, you will be worshiped by all in the House of the Hearth.”

Do not repost or translate without my explicit permission! Reblogs are welcome!

[ivyluvsyouu]

Hello! I saw your series of genshin characters if their s/o dies and I wanted to request it, if possible, with Alhaitham, Pantalone, Dottore and whoever else you want to add

𝑶𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝟒

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒊'𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒅𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍!

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔: 𝑨𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒎, 𝑷𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒆, 𝑫𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒆, 𝑳𝒚𝒏𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆, 𝑭𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒕

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝟏 (𝑪𝒚𝒏𝒐, 𝑨𝒍𝒃𝒆𝒅𝒐, 𝑿𝒊𝒂𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑲𝒂𝒛𝒖𝒉𝒂)

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝟐 (𝑫𝒊𝒍𝒖𝒄, 𝑲𝒂𝒆𝒚𝒂 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰𝒕𝒕𝒐)

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝟑 (𝑲𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒉, 𝑻𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒏𝒂𝒓𝒊, 𝑭𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒂, 𝑳𝒚𝒏𝒆𝒚, 𝑨𝒓𝒍𝒆𝒄𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒐,𝑵𝒆𝒖𝒗𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆)

𝑻𝒘!! 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉

𝑨𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒎

You and your fiancé Alhaitham had to go to the desert for a few days. Alhaitham didn't explain much he just said it was for work and you of course agreed to go with him. It was the second day there and Alhaitham had left the tent you both had set up for just an hour or so to get the business he needed to do done. When he came back your entire camp was ransacked. Things were stolen, everything was messy, but Alhaitham didn't care about that. All he cared about was if you were okay. He rushed inside and saw you lying on the ground.

He ran over to you and picked you up and cradled you to his chest. "Y/n.. who did this!?" He asked desperately. You tried to speak but you were too weak, your vision was beginning to get blurry and the last thing you saw was your fiancé desperately trying to speak to you. When you shut your eyes Alhaitham broke down in tears he was so angry with himself for not being able to protect you and keep you alive. He brought you back to your family and there was a funeral held for you.

Alhaitham was grateful you at least got to have a funeral, but he was still furious with himself for not protecting you. He tries to hide his grief from everyone, He tried to act tough for everyone and he even was comforting some of your family members at your funeral. He stayed close with your family years after your death, and he would talk to them often, it made him feel close to you again. It gave him comfort and closure that he couldn't feel anywhere else.

𝑷𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒆

Pantalone was against you using a delusion. He told you they were dangerous, and he didn't want anything happening to you. However, you still started using one despite your husband Pantalone complaint's. And sure enough, you died on the battlefield from complications from the delusion. When he got word from one of his subordinates that you had died, he was in shock. He couldn't believe it, his s/o? dead? from a delusion? he refused to believe it. He wouldn't believe it.

But when his subordinates brought your body back from the battlefield for the funeral and he saw you all of that disbelief and denial came crashing down on him. He just looked at your lifeless form in shock and in disbelief. He held out his hand to cup your cheek, and when he felt your cheek, you were as cold as ice "Leave." he said to his subordinates, he didn't want the people under him to see him like this.

He just sat there in the corner of your once shared bedroom crying. He felt weak for letting his emotions go so easily but he couldn't help it. You were everything to him and he didn't know what he was going to do without you. After the funeral he took a few months off from the fatui. He kept the delusion that killed you to remind him every day of the fact that a part of this was his fault, He should've just taken the delusion away.

𝑫𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒆

This whole thing was a complete accident. Dottore had done this experiment at least a hundred times on different species and nothing had gone wrong. So, when he asked to try it on his s/o he wasn't worried about it going wrong at all. It wasn't even supposed to be painful he would've never done it if he knew what was going to happen.

During the experiment something went wrong, he wasn't even sure what but one moment you and Dottore were laughing and just talking about random topics and things that interested him while he was conducting the experiment and the next moment you were unresponsive. He immediately dropped what he was doing and tried to see what was wrong. Your body had reacted negatively to one of the experiments and it had completely shut down. You were dead.

It happened so fast Dottore didn't even see it coming, He was just so in shock when he realized what happened. He spent years just trying to figure out what had happened. That was his way of coping, if he could figure out what had happened to make you react that way it would give him closure. He shut himself off from the rest of the fatui and neglected his duties for about two years. Two years just trying to come to terms with your death and trying to figure out what really happened. After those two years he knew, he couldn't keep neglecting his work but even after he returned to his work, he still tried to do research on that experiment whenever he could.

𝑳𝒚𝒏𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆

You and your girlfriend Lynette were out late one night. You two were making it back home when you both had been ambushed by monsters. You both fought the monsters off or so you thought, "Y/n, are you alri-" She started to ask before a monster appeared behind her. You gasped and pushed her out of the way, but you got hit in the process. Lynette reacted quickly and fought the monster off and then rushed to your side.

You were bleeding profusely from your stomach, and she knew that you couldn't make it home. She scooped you up in her arms and she cradled you against her chest as she laid her head on top of yours. She cried and told you how much she loved you as you died in her arms.

You didn't live long after you had gotten hit. Around the time Lynette got to you, you had died already but Lynette was so caught up in everything she hadn't even noticed you were dead she just thought you were still alive. While she cried, she looked down and noticed you weren't breathing anymore. She brought you back to the house and got her siblings. She was frantic and she was trying to explain to Lyney what happened but between her crying and how worked up she was Lyney couldn't understand her. Lyney got her to sit down, and she explained what had happened after she had calmed down.

Both of her siblings took really good care of her while she was grieving for months, she spent most of her time just in her room trying to come to terms with your death. she would have nightmares for years after your death about the night you died.

𝑭𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒕

(𝒑𝒐𝒐𝒓 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚 𝒐𝒎𝒈 :( 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆)

You had always been quite sickly and prone to getting sick whenever there was something going around Fontaine. So, when you got sick a few days before your boyfriend Freminet had to leave the nation for work related things you didn't think of it as a big deal, and you insisted that he didn't have to stay back with you. He wanted to stay back and take care of you like he always did when you were sick, but he couldn't miss this his father would've been angry with him.

He had every faith that you would be okay, so when he got word that you were dead, he was absolutely shocked and devastated. His father gave him permission to go home early and when he got back, he found out that you were indeed dead.

Months went by and Freminet wasn't any better at all. He kept having nightmares about you dying and seeing your lifeless body to the point where he would miss out on sleep. The nightmares eventually went away but he never forgot about them, and he never forgot about you. He became more and more distant from everyone, and he never fully moved on from you.

𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒐 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒆!!

[jhuzen]

i’m not sure if you’re taking requests right now so feel free to ignore/delete this if not ! i wanted to request a piece on a jealous al haitham where reader starts fawning over how pretty kaveh is when they meet for the first time! this is mostly cuz that was my own reaction after seeing kaveh HAHA m!reader too please! thank you :]

reticent jealousy [m.reader]

i have emerged from my tomb of university things. and i sincerely thank you anon for giving me such a fun request! this is so fun to write considering that i’ve been ignoring haitham in anticipation for kaveh’s ass LMAO. it’s also a little longer than what i intended since i wanted to oil my gears in writing again, i hope you don’t mind hehe.

𖦹 alhaitham being jealous of mister nuisance roommate, reader forgets the concept of personal space

Ever the charming man you are, you never failed to entice the people you’ve surrounded yourself with. With your charismatic wit and sincerity, coupled with that good looks you’ve somehow acquired from your beloved parents, it was not rocket science to figure out why people were drawn to you like moths to an attractive flame. You constantly piqued the interests of each and every person in the vicinity. It was natural to be attracted to you, you were beyond mesmerizing.

So much that you even managed to capture Alhaitham’s interest. Meeting him at the Akademiya was nothing short of interesting. Your family sent you to study in Haravatat — coincidentally being under the same Darshan as the now infamous scribe. Though it was not your interest, you complied out of respect to your parents, staying in between being average and excelling with barely a half of your efforts.

Alhaitham, at first, thought you were an idiot — only to realize how much bigger of an idiot you are when he came to see just how well off you truly are in your studies with you coming in clean that your far better grades than most students was just a product of your thirty percent effort.

Despite your open expression of fondness to certain things (which, admittedly, had given you a disposition of an exuberant airhead), Alhaitham respected you as a colleague and had even given you some of his approval when you would open up to him about your true passion.

Much like how people appreciated the handsome masterpiece that is you, you yourself beheld the beauty of the world. You loved anything that was pleasing in the eyes, and your hands worked to capture them in your paintings. If one took a good look at your works, one could see the inherent romanticism that you displayed. Everything and everyone was beautiful in your eyes, and among the cold and tired and researchers under your Darshan, you were the shining beacon of sincerity.

Really, it wasn’t so hard to fall for you. And Alhaitham went in ahead and tripped, and fell right into your strong arms.

Though his pride served as a hindrance in professing his affections that were left cooped up inside him for the entirety of your years spent as scholars in Akademiya, your observant eyes and empathic attitude finally gave mercy and aided his pining for you and did the asking for him instead.

Thus the beginning of the sneaked through kisses on your visitations in the scribe’s office, the nights he has spent with you in your home to avoid a certain roommate of his, the dates that were spent by the edge of cliffs, with his head on your lap as he read while you painted the romantic hues of the sunsets in Sumeru — all of which you cherished and Alhaitham even more.

You have always proudly proclaimed that Alhaitham was your greatest muse, and it was rarely a stretch considering that there was an office in your quaint little home that was filled with to the brim of masterpieces you created with your beloved as your sole subject. The sketches that were hastily pinned on a foam board, the paintings of him that gave the man a far more lively depiction of himself than the real one, and the pièce de résistance of your living portfolio was the your lover’s torso, sculpted to perfection.

(You swore you’d put his head in it, but he grew to realize that it would take awhile on the times he’d catch you locked up in your room, in a daze while tracing your fingers on the grooves of his sculpted abs.)

And while Alhaitham valued subjective opinions so little, when it comes to you, your words are his scriptures, his guides that he could never let go of. He waited with bated breath every time he silently sought your approval on how he looks, on how he presents himself as it was an investment to your love — the man that appreciates beauty out of everyone else — he sees it as a way to reciprocate your care. He puts in great effort for you just to return the sincerity that you bring him.

Either way, there was absolutely nothing that could break you apart. And whether people were in the know of your status in your relations with each other, everyone in Sumeru City was aware that wherever you are, the now Acting Grand Sage is always close by and the same applies vice versa.

And today just happened to be one of the times that you were free from your commissions that you’ve received from overseas and Alhaitham was surprisingly free despite his much busier schedule as the Acting Grand Sage.

There was an undeniable bliss in the atmosphere as you strolled around with your beloved and in the silence that you and Alhaitham held, there was comfort and respite. No words were truly needed the moment his hand slipped into yours, barely concealed by his coat that asymmetrically hung onto his form from the public eye.

“Ah!” you suddenly blurted, breaking the silence between you and your lover and catching Alhaitham’s attention, “Look at those fine ceramics! Judging from the design, they’re imported from Liyue, hang on, dearest.”

Alhaitham’s lips turned down into a subtle frown when your hand left his grasp, unable to feel the familiar light callouses that you’ve obtained from working your hands to the bone in your line of work. He looked up from his book to see you gravitating towards a certain stall, eyes narrowing at the way the girl behind the goods seemed far more entranced to your visage than keeping watch of her wares.

He gets it though, he understands more than anyone else. He was meant to be the untouchable Alhaitham — the man that cannot be swayed by just a pretty face. But you yourself broke past his walls without even knowing it, he was already convinced he has to be with the pretty boy of Haravatat. You were the unstoppable force to his immovable object and the only solution when you met ended up with his lips on yours and him underneath you, completely under your mercy.

Still, it doesn’t shake off the fact that you are objectively a handsome man, someone inherently charming with the sharp wits to boot. Alhaitham was sure that even if you can’t provide, someone will be infatuated enough to provide for you (however this in itself is not him admitting that he is near that stage… definitely not). People will throw themselves at your feet, and women and men have approached you with a hidden motive countless times during your dates with him.

Though it was consoling to see you reject them with grace (though he preferred a brutal slap to the face), there was a thought that kept intruding within him when he saw the reality upon dating one of the most sought out men in Sumeru.

You were a man that appreciated and sought beauty. And in truth, he wasn’t just your muse although he was your frequent one. There was always something unsettling the moment your eyes lay on a person who you find appealing, and his scowl couldn’t help but be evident when even without having to be naturally seductive, the way your flustering touches reach other people to convince them to be your muse.

Alhaitham had a green-eyed monster that he unknowingly nursed — its jealous head rearing out on certain moments, breathing down on his neck whenever you left him, your beloved muse.

And it seems as though the fates have woven a test for him. A test that certainly does not appeal to his fancy.

“Oi! Alhaitham, you jerk! Did you steal my keys again?! You locked me out of our— ahem, my apartment again!”

The Acting Grand Sage’s eyes immediately narrowed when he heard that familiar voice. One that he often used as an excuse to come and stay the night with you (really, he never needed an excuse, but his ego refused to absolutely be fragile even to you at moments). He pondered his options, and the choice him just turning away was the most inviting one, yet he knew that would only prompt his roommate to whine louder and attract more attention.

He turned towards Kaveh, his blank expression masking the little exasperation that’s bubbling up inside him, “I’ve never seen your keys.” It was a lie, as it sat snugly in his pockets for a good day now. “Why do you always come to accuse me of such things?”

Kaveh was quick to scoff at Alhaitham’s question, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms before prattling on, “Oh don’t give me that hooey! I know it’s you! Instead of coming home from my projects and just relaxing, I have to go see if Cyno’s still awake to crash into his place!”

“Maybe if you pay your rent, you can stop losing your keys more,” a silent dig had Kaveh faltering with a huff.

“So it is you!” The blonde only shifted his footing before leaning in to jab his finger into Alhaitham’s chest, “And maybe I’ll pay my rent if you start losing those hideous decorations. I’ve only liked one thing and it was that painting that you suddenly brought home.”

“What I do with my money is none of your business,” Alhaitham cooly brushed Kaveh’s accusations off — of course it was deliberate every time he purchased a vase or a rug that had a clashing color palette, or anything remotely sacrilegious in an artist’s (more so yours) eye. But he wouldn’t deny that one painting. It was something he brought home from you, something you even encouraged for him to take as a gift from you on a random day.

Kaveh pinched the bridge of his nose as he heaved a begrudged sigh, “Whatever. Just lend me my keys and—”

“Oh! Aren’t you just the most darling man I’ve ever seen!”

Alhaitham’s heart stopped and instantly dropped down to his stomach when that angelic voice of yours suddenly rang in his ears.

Apart from his crudely decorated purchases, one reason why he never once wanted you to visit him in his apartment often is mostly for the fear of you having to meet his roommate. All for numerous reasons — something that Alhaitham foresaw that he wouldn’t be in favor of in the slightest bit. You know he has a roommate, and knew that Kaveh was the reason why Alhaitham looks relatively exasperated on certain days. For so long, you’ve wanted to meet this man, and yet Alhaitham blatantly refuses because he’s afraid that Kaveh’s ineptness would rub off on you or that you might start taking clients out of the goodness of your heart and not as a proper job.

“What?”

“What.”

Kaveh scoffed, “Oh, just great. Here’s another one of your admirers. Give me the damn key and I’ll leave before I start hurling my precious lunch in the middle of the street.”

And yet both men stiffened up when you passed by Alhaitham, your gaze can be completely mistaken for something lovestruck as you gravitated towards Kaveh. The blonde froze as your pretty face got closer to his, your eyes scrutinizing his features, and even then, the poor architect could only avert his eyes from yours, flustered, before meeting Alhaitham’s darkening gaze, only furthering his confusion.

You finally leaned back, “Ah— Apologies for invading your personal space—! I just! I just find you absolutely breathtaking!” Your sincerity was quick to reach Kaveh, and his face erupted into a blooming shade of bright red. “Oh! What a cute boy you are! And your proportions are undoubtedly stunning!”

“W-Wha—?”

Alhaitham watched in silent mortification when one of your gentle hands trailed towards Kaveh’s arm, sliding down to grasp his hand and bringing his arm up, “Give me a little spin, won’t you please?” You asked with a smile of plea.

Utterly confused and still dumbfounded and embarrassed, Kaveh couldn’t find himself to refuse your polite request (he’d love to call it coercion, but you were so nice) and spun around, his hand still within your warm grasp. He could feel his heart stutter when he heard your pleased hum of approval.

“A good eye for fashion too!” Your hand finally left his and stepped back, “Oh! You are perfect!”

Alhaitham’s eyes narrowed. His arms quickly crossed to his chest — a defense mechanism as the familiar dread slowly sunk in him, spreading to every single crevice of his body. His muscles tensed with every sing of praise that left your lips, with every touch you left on Kaveh’s form, and the way his nuisance of a roommate certainly relished in the sudden attention you’re giving him.

Worst part of it all is that Kaveh wasn’t even remotely aware that you were dating Alhaitham in the first place; that this admiration of yours was just you fawning over your new chosen muse. But he doesn’t know that — so your fondness can be quickly mistaken for blatant lovestruck adoration.

“‘Haitham! Doesn’t he look amazing?” You finally turned to your lover, whose eyes grew soft quick the moment your attention was on his.

Kaveh wrinkled his nose, “…Huh? ‘Haitham’? You know this man?” He asked, his embarrassed look finally reverting into that familiar expression of annoyance as he looked at Alhaitham.

“Of course! You know him as well?” You tilted your head a little to the side with a small smile.

The blonde was strained as he nodded, “He’s… an acquaintance.”

“My roommate,” Alhaitham finally clarified with a displeased grunt. It’s one way to rip the anticipation off, and in an instant, your eyes were elated as you turned to his roommate’s direction.

“So you’re the illustrious ‘nuisance roommate’ Kaveh…” you chuckled a little as you lent your hand to the architect, “It’s nice to finally meet ‘Haitham’s roommate.”

Kaveh took your hand and shook it cautiously, eyes narrowing a little. If you’re in the company of Alhaitham, surely you have some form unbearable personality as well… especially with that disarming sincerity that you exuded, “And you’re the…?”

“The boyfriend,” you stated, clear as a day with a small smile on your face and Kaveh’s grip tightened on your hand.

“The what?!”

“It’s not so shocking,” Alhaitham finally interrupted your conversation with his roommate, his arms uncrossing as he took a step closer to you. “And no, I didn’t pay him.” He already interjected before Kaveh could accuse you the same way he did to the traveler and their floating companion on their first meet.

“I certainly would’ve given a receipt if he did.”

Kaveh’s hand fell from your grip as his life crumbled before his eyes. His roommate that he classifies as the most unbearable person in the whole universe… is suddenly taken? By you? A handsome guy that he has never met in his whole life for some reason? He has to take a reality check, and his vision blurred. No way his loser of a roommate is getting laid before him.

Absolute sacrilege.

Meanwhile, Alhaitham had half a mind to take you and just leave Kaveh while he processed the sudden drop of information. But there was a sick sense of satisfaction that coursed through the Acting Grand Sage’s veins when Kaveh had an existential crisis just because he was absolutely clueless to all the hints that pointed to him having a lover. It was entertaining, to say the least, and once again, Alhaitham had the upper hand.

However that satisfaction soon melted into raw jealousy when your hands clasped Kaveh’s bringing them up as you finally worked your charms.

“So then, Mister nuisance roommate, I hope you don’t mind if I ask a moment of your time.”

Kaveh blinked out of his stupor, suddenly becoming flustered when your hands enveloped his, “N-No— I don’t mind… what do you need?”

And like a man about to profess his love to someone, your eyes glimmered as you popped the question;

“Will you be my muse for this month’s project?”

Alhaitham’s hands itched to grab a hold of you and tear you away from his roommate as his eyes glowered and dug into Kaveh’s form with absolute malice and jealousy. Why did you even have to find his mess of a roommate remotely attractive? What even is so ‘beautiful’ about Kaveh that you just had to touch him? Do you even have to be that close to ask him to be your muse? And why do you keep showering him with praises?

Poor Kaveh had little chance to refuse you as you looked at him so expectantly. Letting out a reluctant yes, you absolutely glowed before showering him some more praises, and ecstatically telling him that you will be over Alhaitham’s apartment to discuss further details with him.

And while Alhaitham simmered in his jealousy, he failed to notice Kaveh finally leaving and you coming back to him.

It’s like his vision cleared when he finally felt your arm snake around his waist, pulling him closer to be your side, “Your roommate is rather adorable, dear,” you said, sneaking a kiss to his temple.

Alhaitham scoffed, “I’d rather you not say that while expressing any form of affection to me.” His tone was cold, but even you can feel how utterly upset your dearest love is.

You only laughed before pinching the lean fat on his waist, prompting the stoic man to jolt, “I find your jealousy far more adorable, however.”

“So you were being deliberate earlier?”

“Oh, absolutely not. I just do it so none of the muses I ask can refuse, though my compliments are of utmost sincerity,” you said before flashing Alhaitham that cheeky grin that he found himself admiring for the nth time now. “It’s a good psychological tactic, y’know?”

“At the expense of your lover’s feelings. How crude,” Alhaitham huffed. “You’re going to have to make up for the poor treatment you’ve given to me.”

The sultry grin on your face was enough for Alhaitham to know that he won’t be coming home tonight.

Ah. Kaveh’s keys are still in his pocket.

Oh well.

[kaixserzz]

The Fox, the Crow, and the Bunny.

ੈ♡˳ Il Dottore and Gn!Child!Reader *ೃ༄

ੈ♡˳ 2.4k words ┊ Fluff *ೃ༄

ੈ♡˳ Masterlist | JLM Masterlist *ೃ༄

author's note ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

something sweet. dedicated to @idyllic-affections thanks for writing my kaveh rq n this series is inspired by ur acc.. realized i strayed from the real purpose of this fic and made it too long, so just think of it as a 2 in 1 special lol,, (also hi sorry for using dottore he's like my muse and i love writing him) also i hope yall get the meaning of this shit lmao (ref to the scara quest tale)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ cw: strictly platonic/familial, reader is 8 years old, basic dottore warnings, mentions of death, dissecting animals and injuries, implied dottolone (barely), a little ooc but it's canon to me

Dottore's office was once a sacred chamber inside the Fatui headquarters.

While not relatively as pristine as his laboratory, amidst the chaos, there was order. Everything was in its designated place, even though his desk was a nightmare to whoever laid eyes on it (spilled coffee too busy to clean, now dried onto the wood of his table, piles, and piles of documents and papers stacked haphazardly on one another, a disarray of pens and pencils occupying every available niche, and vials filled with who-knows-what dangerously teetering on the edge).

Hazards lurked at every turn within his office, presenting a far-from-presentable façade that seemingly clashed with his position as the 2nd of the 11th Fatui Harbingers. Yet, one might ponder, does the doctor truly concern himself with such matters?

No, not at all. He doesn't have the time to clean everything or keep them in such an organized state. He simply knows everything is in place, and the mess scarcely holds him back (he hires maids once in a while, when the mess gets too much, and in 1 out of 5 maids he hires only makes it out alive).

Yet, what truly imbued this room with a sense of sanctity? For within these walls, he unearthed his genuine solace and tranquility.

In this space, silence reigned supreme. Isolation was his companion, a cherished serenity he embraced. Here, his thoughts danced, inventions took form, and ideas flowed onto paper alongside intricate equations. Occasionally, he'd pass out on his desk and drool all over his papers. This room stood as a shelter inviolable, reserved solely for those few instances of urgency or the presence of a fellow Harbinger.

All other members of the Fatui instinctively bid their time, patiently awaiting his emergence from the sanctum of his office before venturing to approach him. For within its confines, the Doctor was impervious to disruption. No one disturbs the Doctor.

That was before you came along, of course.

The office, ill-suited for a child of your tender years, harbored a minefield of hazards. Within its walls lay various artifacts, concoctions, and intricate machinery, a perilous realm unfit for the innocent curiosity of youth. Regrettably, your presence inadvertently disrupted the serene harmony that had long enveloped this space, unsettling the Doctor who, by nature, dislikes abrupt shifts and deviations from what he was used to.

When you first arrived in his office (he didn't want you inside of it, after all, he wasn't exactly fond of children, but he had no choice) you were immediately injured after stepping onto a shard of glass that Dottore has completely ignored. You tried your very best not to cry for the sake of not irritating Dottore further, but he wasn't very gentle with your wound either.

He took note of keeping his vials away from the edge of his table.

Then a bunch of books topples over you. He puts them into the shelves now, and you helped him organize by using the Dewey Decimal System, to which you had read from a book.

Then, while he was explaining his recent idea (rather enthusiastically) to you, his hand accidentally slammed against his files and flew straight to your face. You also helped him organize his papers.

And then it was cleaning his desk, offering him DIY pencil holders you've made just for him. You've also invented a mug that prevents the liquid inside from spilling (he thinks it was a rather brilliant invention, he no longer has to worry about spilling on his desk).

And then it was putting his rather precarious possessions somewhere else, outside the vicinity of his office and far away from your grasp.

You were very eager to help him in any way possible, and for a child, you quite enjoyed receiving chores. Yet, your contentment was uncomplicated, drawn from the privilege of being granted entry to his treasure trove of knowledge, replete with a limitless collection of books, materials, and tools.

Dottore always thought that you'd be such a nuisance to him once you entered his office and sully the peace he has always known within his office's enclosed haven.

But he didn't expect to welcome your presence at all, on such short notice, too. (Deep inside, he felt a strange warmth in his chest whenever you'd tug on his coat, asking if he needed any assistance with organizing his office. He wonders what it was, though.)

So, here you were, amidst the symphony of pen strokes etching against paper, a solitary melody resonating within the confines of his office.

Contrary to his expectations, the calmness he believed would dissipate upon your arrival had, in fact, been amplified by leaps and bounds. As he observed from the corner of his eye, you reclined on your stomach, legs swinging idly behind you, immersed in a world of creativity. Strewn across the floor, an assortment of crayons bore testament to your artistic endeavors, while he diligently attended to the papers handed by the Fatui.

Then, as if hesitant to break the comfortable silence, you tried to catch his attention with a soft 'psst!', then covered your mouth with your tiny hand to suppress your childish giggles.

The corners of his lips twitch in irritance amusement as he turns his head toward you, his pen on the desk. You broke into a much bigger grin and held your drawing close to your chest, not wanting to expose it just yet. "Hey, Dotdot!" You whispered to him, and he can't help but roll his eyes smile at the nickname you've given him. "Can I show you what I drew?"

Dottore emitted a contemplative hum as if grappling with the decision of whether to engage or remain absorbed in his thoughts. Your evident impatience manifested in a pout, prompting his response. "Well, fine," He yielded, beckoning you forth. You beamed brightly as you swiftly rose to your feet and bounded toward him, your landing generating a muted grunt from him. A steadying hand rested on the desk, enabling him to regain his composure, after which he settled your giggling form comfortably within the space between his legs. "Now then," He put his hands on your shoulder, "What is it you wished to share?"

With another giggle from your ceaseless childish amusement, you gave him the piece of paper. Big, round eyes sparkling against the light of the room looked up at him expectantly. Dottore received the drawing from you, his gaze lingering over its details, drawn into a moment of shared curiosity and wonder.

It was him, and you, holding hands, depicted with earnest effort and the imaginative touch of your youthful artistry. Around you were a bunch of other versions of him, his segments, though you've only drawn five (since they were the only ones who have interacted with you so far). Each had their names labeled beneath them, but Dottore absolutely adores that you've labeled him as 'Dotdot' instead (you've also drawn Pantalone holding your other hand and labeled him as 'Pants', adorned both figures with encircling hearts).

"Truly remarkable artwork," He stated with a smile, his words accompanied by the sound of your jubilant cheers, "This masterpiece deserves a place of honor, a spot where all can admire it. I can already imagine the joy it will bring to the other segments once they lay eyes on it."

"Really!?"

"Of course, I do believe they enjoy your company, little bunny."

As he carefully set the drawing on his table, your inquisitive gaze caught his attention. With a tilt of your head, a gesture he knew all too well, you asked him a question, "Why do you call me that?"

"Hm? Call you what?" Dottore grabbed you gently and settled you onto his desk. Positioned face to face, at eye level, his intent was clear—to engage with you as both an adult and a child, a balance you seemed to relish.

"Bunny! You call me bunny lots,"

"Oh? Do you not like it?"

You vigorously shook your head, "No no, I love it! I get called nicknames, but they're all mean." You furrow your brow as you reminisced, pouting at the awful memories. But then you broke into a big smile again, "But yours is new and cute! So, why do you call me that?"

Dottore's grin widened, revealing his sharp teeth, a sight that enthralled you. Your hands instinctively moved to his cheeks, your eyes filled with wonder, and he welcomed the touch wholeheartedly. "Ahh, ever so curious, aren't you, little bun?" He teased playfully, giving your nose a gentle boop! with his finger, and your giggles were a delightful response. "You see, I call you bunny because you embody its spirit—small, swift, and an endless source of vibrant energy.

You also love to hop onto people a lot."

"I love giving surprise hugs! I'm too small, so a jump, so I can wrap my arms around them a bit higher!" You huffed as he chuckled at your explanation. "What are you, then? What animal?"

"Oh? I've never thought about what kind of animal I'd be... Hmmm..." Dottore mused for a while, his expression thoughtful. Eventually, he arrived at a decision. "A fox, I think. Crafty, shrewd, and sly. A creature that prowls with a purpose and possesses those distinct, sharp teeth." As he said that, he grins once more to show his sharp teeth, then lunges for your finger, mimicking a bite, prompting you to gasp and pull back with a joyful squeal.

"And speaking of bunnies..." His tone took on a mischievous edge, causing your eyes to widen in anticipation. Suddenly, he swooped in, grabbing your legs and lifting you high into the air. "I might just gobble you up!" Dottore's playful pretense of chomping down on you elicited a cascade of laughter from you. You pushed at his head, trying to escape his 'gobbling' jaws, your legs kicking playfully as you enjoyed the moment.

"I don't think you're a fox, Dotdot!" You quipped, retaking your seat on his desk. Playfully swinging your legs, you mused aloud, a soft humming accompanying your contemplation.

Dottore raised an intrigued eyebrow, "Oh? And what am I in the eyes of my little bunny? Perhaps something more fearsome?" He inquired, looming over you in an effort to intimidate you.

Instead, your eyes lit up brightly, and you joyfully clapped your hands together. "Oh, I've got it! A crow!" You exclaimed with a triumphant smile.

A bemused frown replaced his grin as he processed your unexpected response. "...A crow?" He echoed, clearly puzzled by your choice. "Of all animals?"

And you merely smile at him, giggling at his confused reaction, "Mhm! Yeah! A crow that talks on and on and on." Your hands followed your words, almost hitting him in the face, "A crow that is death and prey over rotting corpses, but a crow that saved me! I thought Dotdot was an angel, but angels don't have black feathers, scary smiles, or red eyes."

Your words painted a vivid picture of your perception, a whimsical and deeply personal perspective on his nature. Dottore nods along, intrigued, as you rambled your thoughts to him, not even chastising you for grabbing the beak of his mask and playing with it.

"You're a crow! You're very smart, and clever, and creative! You're scary to other people, but not to me! I love corvids, I used to feed them bits of animal after I dissect them, and they always bring me something shiny. They were my only friends, and now you're my friend too!"

He doesn't understand the gentle warmth that began to unfurl within his chest as he remained attentive to your words. While unfamiliar, this sensation wasn't entirely unwelcome... "I beg to differ, my dear bunny. I am unmistakably a fox,"

"Then you're a crow pretending to be a fox!" You pout, stubbornly crossing your arms. "I think crows are way cooler than foxes. They can fly! Plus, you can't call yourself a fox when you resemble a crow more than a fox!" You pointed out, a triumphant smirk on your lips.

Well, you do have a point. He does wear a beaked mask, coupled with a bird-like shoulder embellishment bedecked in exquisite black feathers.

"Should I then consider donning attire that better befits a fox?"

At the notion, you fixed him with a mock glare, your cheeks puffing out in an adorable display of discontent. "Nooooo! I prefer Mr. Crow!" you protested with a playful whine, punctuating your words by delivering gentle punches to his shoulders with your tiny hands.

He chuckles at your small tantrum, and he swiftly gathers you into his embrace. Your arms naturally encircled his neck as he rose from his seat, carrying you toward the door, your precious drawing clutched in your hands. "Very well, very well, my dear Mr. Crow it shall remain," He conceded with a playful tone, his steps filled with an easy camaraderie.

Victoriously, you shot him a smug grin, to which he rolled his eyes at.

"Do you wanna know something, Mr. Crow?" You mutter in his ear as he walks past one of his segments.

"Hm? What is it?"

You made sure to whisper it very quietly, hoping the other segments won't hear you. "Between you and me, I think that your younger segments are like rats!"

He didn't know what came over him, he released a hearty, resounding laugh, its volume surprising not just you but also the other segments who happened to be present, each momentarily taken aback by their own affairs. Such an outpouring of mirth was rare for him (only when he was inside his dark, cool lab, alone with experiments).

A sense of pride swelled in your chest as you grinned widely, his laughter infectious as you burst into a fit of giggles. It was a scary laugh, maybe it was just naturally like that, but to you, it sounded very happy. "They bit me once! I was just poking their face."

"Perhaps give them a treat before you approach them," He says, calming down as he continues his trek toward your room. "This gesture might just soften their demeanor."

"What, like cheese?"

"Oh, little bun, that'll drive them even more mad once they found out you called them rats."

You share another grin with him, finding a cozy spot to rest your chin upon his shoulder in contentment, "Good! I think they're funny when their faces turn red."

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛❛ If you like this a lot, consider reblogging! I’ll appreciate it very very much! Don’t repost and/or translate my work anywhere. ❜❜ ┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌

[affableramen]

You get accidentally injured after a huuuge argument with them ☹️ :( 🩸 Genshin Impact men x You, the reader smau

Mentions of trauma, blood, chemical reactions, car accidents

[Alhaitham, Neuvillette, Wriothesley, Dottore, Pantalone]

[fatuismooches]

puer et monstrum.

synopsis: You attempt to help the adult raven reconcile with his younger fledgling self. In other words, four times Dottore ignored his child segment, the first time he didn’t, and the last time he did.

includes: dottore + platonic! zandy w/ gn! reader

notes: You grow to greatly love Zandy, Dottore's child segment, but you can't help but notice how your husband pays no attention to him. Therefore, you will try your best to change this. Fragile reader, lots of fluff, angst, very cute, you know the drill. Part of this fic is also greatly inspired by this ask (thank you to this anon!)

I. creation

At this point, Il Dottore had a good amount of experience creating segments.

Sure, the number of times he had failed was far greater than he liked, and he could count the number of successful segments with his fingers, but he had the general gist of the process and all. So, he decided it was time for him to create another segment of himself. This brought about the obvious question of what phase of his life he should bring back into this world. Dottore pondered this question for a while. He already made them all based on important parts of his life - when he was in the Akademiya, when he first became a Harbinger, and now one based on his current self not too long ago, just to name a few. He desired something new, something that could be vastly different.

In the end, he decided to create a child segment. 

His other segments were not very happy with the decision. A child would cry. A child would whine. A child could not do the tasks they could. A child would do… child things. It was a nuisance. But Dottore dismissed their complaints.

What good would a child’s perspective bring him? He didn’t know, but that was exactly the point. He didn’t know, which was why he sought the answer. And the only way to find this out was to create the child just as he’d done with his other younger selves.

After much time, money, and energy were exhausted, it was done. The child opened his eyes for the first time and saw a tall figure amidst the blinding lights. Once the masked man noticed his awakening, he looked at him, as if waiting for him to fully gain consciousness, and then spoke before the child could say anything.

“I am Dottore. You are a segment of mine that I created. You shall be called Ten.” After that brief statement, the man seemed to have finished all that he was going to say. That was when the child noticed the crowd of similar-looking blue-haired men as well, discussing things that he could not wrap his head around yet.

The child, now called “10”, had so many questions. Where was he? What does he do now? Why was he called a number? He doesn’t remember being called that before. Was he not Zandik anymore? The child wasn’t sure whether or not being ‘Zandik’ anymore was a good or bad thing. Maybe if he wasn’t ‘Zandik’ anymore, people wouldn’t scorn him so much.

Who are all these people, and why do they seem a bit similar to him? Being but a little kid, naturally, he was lost and confused, and he could not help but grasp the leg of the man called Dottore timidly. Immediately, the Harbinger stiffened at the contact, eyes swiftly moving to meet 10’s. The only person who ever touched him unprompted was you, but he had not felt your touch in centuries, so the sudden touch of the child surprised him. 

Though 10 could not see the taller man’s eyes, he didn’t think they were very kind. The child didn’t think the other man’s eyes were like his parents, or like the people from the village, no, but there was a certain feeling expressed toward him that 10 couldn’t explain. Regardless, 10 quickly received the message, and his hand slipped away from his creator’s.

“Tend to him,” was the lone order Prime gave the other segments before he left, leaving the little one all by himself, despite being surrounded by others.

II. curiosity

Being segments of the Harbinger meant they were busy people. Being the Harbinger himself meant that his time was even more sparse. This meant that any attention dedicated to 10 was few and far between, and pretty much always not of their own free will. One would think a child would be quite disheartened by the lack of attention, and well, they would be right, but 10 had long grown accustomed to being by himself ages ago considering his childhood. Did he like it? No, not yet at least. By the behavior of the other segments, he eventually grew to prefer being by himself. 

But 10 was still a child, curious about the world, which meant that he still did seek out the older segments’ company from time to time. Well, most of the time he was shooed away, but on rare occasions, 10 was able to be the recipient of some ranting by the younger segments or perhaps the observer of their intricate work (that was deemed acceptable to be viewed by children.) However, something 10 was able to learn was that there was one person whom the segments and Prime always seemed to offer their attention, willingly too.

[Name].

The kid seemed to be the only segment who didn’t really know you. 10 didn’t pay much attention to his older selves’ “patients”, but being an attentive and curious boy, he realized with due time that your name always seemed to be murmured by them. Not with the detached or annoyed tone the segments took on when regarding others, but it was different. Again, the young one had trouble putting his finger on it exactly, but if he had to put it into words, 10 would say they sounded a lot sweeter. It was an odd thing to say because if anyone else heard it, they certainly would not label the tone as sweet. It would probably sound simply normal to others. But that was truly what the child thought, maybe because he was connected to them in a way.

So of course, 10’s interest was very piqued. Oddly enough, for how nice they sounded, the child never saw a glimpse of you around the lab. 10 wondered what kind of person you were. How did you even know them? Would you talk about them in a sweet tone too? If you met him… would you speak about him that way as well? He wondered what it took for the older men to like you so much, maybe even… love? The child doesn’t know what love exactly looks like, but if love was anything like the stories he’s read, how the segments talk about you could be said to be a bit similar. 

But if 10 were to compare the two some more, maybe they aren’t that alike after all, considering all the things that were different. If segments loved you, wouldn’t you constantly be by their side, as lovers in fairytales do? If you two were apart, wouldn’t his creator be anguished by the loss of your presence, just like in the books? Yet whenever he saw the original, his expression seemed to always be the same - calculating, tired, seemingly more absorbed in his research than worried for another. (For the child does not understand how well Prime wears more masks than one.) 

So needless to say, 10 was confused. And with confusion comes curiosity, the need to seek out the answer, common for any child but especially for one as inquisitive as the blue-haired boy. In his room, 10 pondered for a while on what to do - he could try to sneak around for answers, but he imagined he’d get caught and scolded by the segments long before he found anything out. So, the child decided to simply ask about the matter. After all, the others always say asking questions is an important part of an experiment.

It’s still a gamble though, the child is well aware of the less than hospitable energy toward him by the others. They have a general… lack of patience for him. But still, persistence and the pursuit of knowledge are traits embodied in every version of Dottore. And so the child gathered up all his courage and set his little plan into action.

It was like any other day 10 had witnessed in the far too familiar lab. He had made sure to wake up in the very early morning - it was the best opportunity to catch a few segments together before they split up to do their separate tasks. Well, hopefully, they were there, some of them tended to stay locked up in their respective labs until they figured out the answer to what they were seeking. The child surprisingly had little sleepiness remaining in his system, the anticipation of the answer he would receive keeping him awake.

For once, it looked as though the segments were not bickering. It wasn’t quiet either though, they seemed to be discussing something work-related. But that was beside the point. Upon entering the room, the segments were a bit surprised to see 10, for it was obviously out of the ordinary for the kid to be awake, much less roaming around at this hour.

“What are you doing awake?” The Akademiya segment, 01, didn’t bother to hide his tone, unwilling to be vexed further with all the work he had left to do. But the child had come here with a determination that wouldn’t be swayed.

“I have a question,” 10 stated. The next segment who spoke didn’t spare a glance at him.

“And it could not wait until morning? You felt the need to interrupt us now?” 04’s response was blunt and straight to the point as usual - he was a segment that was perpetually annoyed. 10 couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever seen a smile on this segment. And yet 04 seemed kinder to him than when he interacted with others. 

Meanwhile, 02 watched with an unreadable expression behind his spotted mask. It was hard to predict what response you would get from 02 - would he be annoyed and snappy or perhaps treat you with a dose of excitement and interest? This time, however, it was the latter, as a grin crept its way onto his face.

“No, I want to hear this question. Surely, it must be greatly important for you to go to such lengths, yes?” 02’s red eyes gleamed, intrigued by the child segment’s nod. 10 nervously swallowed before squaring his shoulders resolutely.

“Who is [Name]?” 

And then all the miscellaneous noises in the lab came to an abrupt halt. 24, who usually remained uninterested in the conversations of his other segments, had suddenly tuned into the discussion at the mention of your name. The other present segments, who were absorbed in their work mere moments ago, now had their undivided attention on the child. 

“No one,” 04 said flatly, but the damage was already done. It was obvious that was a lie, and the child’s eyes glittered with enthusiasm as he began bouncing around to each segment.

“Who are they? What are they like? You like them, don’t you?” At the last question, 01 scowled at the declaration, hoping no one would notice the slight color of red at the tips of his ears. 02’s previous demeanor had changed into a blank yet thoughtful one, while 04 looked exasperated at the whole situation.

“How do you know about [Name]?” 24 was the one who finally responded to the child, and 10 awkwardly halted his barrage of questions. If 10 was being honest, 24 was probably the scariest of all the segments. The one closest to Prime and the most selfish.

“Well, all of you have mentioned them at least once… and when you do say their name, it just sounds like you like them. A lot,” 10 stared at the ground as he shared his observation. “You don’t sound like that for anyone else.” The segments were silent once more. The question was, were they that obvious, or was the brat just really attentive? The answer was most likely the latter, but still. This wasn’t a good look for them.

“I suppose this was bound to happen sooner or later,” 01 had recovered from his embarrassment, “Considering how much Two prattles on about them.” 02 frowned at the sudden accusation.

“Excuse me? That is rich coming from you,” the clone quickly snapped back, for the other was no exception to carrying on about you. 24 just grimaced at the start of another bickering session between his other selves.

“A-Anyway!” 10 interrupted the others before he could be ignored. “Can I know who they are? Can I see them?” The child pleaded earnestly as another pause swept through the room.

“You will not stop begging until we say yes, won’t you?” 04 sighed. “However, that decision is up to Prime.” 10’s shoulders drooped. He wasn’t really sure if Prime would listen to him, considering how rarely they ever spoke.

However, miraculously enough, a few days later, his wish was granted. He doesn’t know why Prime decided to do it, but 10 was just happy he’d finally know about the mysterious person! Funnily enough, the news had spread to all the segments, and all of them had decided to gather in the same space to tell their own opinion about you. 10 had never seen them… congregate like this. They seemed to enjoy the common topic - you - but the squabbling about certain matters (again, you) still took place. The child learned more things about you than he even understood. 

But he knew the basics now - you were their lover, meaning you loved them and they loved you, which even though it was not explicitly said, the child knew it anyway. This was obviously something a bit difficult for 10 to wrap his head around, but he found the idea thrilling. He knew his older selves well enough to know that you must be a pretty amazing person to have them so interested. 

Unfortunately, the child couldn’t prove this hypothesis of his, as he later found out the reason why you were nowhere to be seen. 10 remembers the first time he saw you, accompanied by another segment (18, this time.) Hooked up to a machine with countless wires, hands laying limp by your side, along with your chest that unnoticeably rose and fell. You were nothing like what 10 thought you’d look like. And yet he too thought you were beautiful. Sure, the child couldn’t see your eyes or smile or hear your voice, but as he held your hand and compared it to his much smaller one, he just had a feeling you were nothing like the grown-ups that he once knew long ago. But 10 was disappointed.

“Is [Name] going to be okay?” 10 worriedly looked at the segment, wondering about your current state. The others hadn’t disclosed many details about your illness.

“They will,” 18 affirmed. At least this segment was nicer to him than the others, with his softer tone and gentler mannerisms. He was still a Dottore segment, however. “One day they will wake up.” With that as his only answer, 10 went back to tracing the lines on the palm of your cold hand, hoping you would open your eyes again soon just like the other blue-haired men.

Since then, 10 found himself visiting your silent room, save for the beep-beeps from your machines, more and more often. There was just something about this unmoving, sleeping grown-up that drew him in. 10 had so many questions to ask you… but for now, he settled for reading his stories aloud to you. Maybe you could hear them too. Occasionally, some other segments dropped in to check on you, but they didn’t pay much mind to him other than reminding him not to touch anything, as his presence near you had become commonplace.

However, on one particular day, 10 found that your room was already occupied by someone else. 10 had heard a familiar yet muffled voice coming from inside, yet he could not make out the exact words from outside in the hallway. Carefully padding closer to the room, the child strained his ears to make out the words. It sounded like the person was talking to another, like a conversation, only that it seemed one-sided since 10 could only distinguish one voice. Finally, he got the courage to gently push the door open a bit more and peek to see who it was inside.

It wasn’t merely a segment there to check on you, no, this time it was Prime Dottore himself, sitting near your side in the same chair that the child always sat in. The child was surprised - he rarely ever saw Prime outside of his lab or office, and when he did, it was usually when Prime was forced to attend to certain Fatui duties. Of course, he never paid much attention to his child segment. Unfortunately, 10 had stared a bit too much, as the original quickly noticed his presence and immediately got up from the seat. 10 jumped a bit too, instinctively pulling back and hiding against the wall. But it was too late.

“Come in.” 10 had no option other than to comply, as he shyly stepped into your room, still clinging to the wall. The child nervously swallowed as he scrambled for an excuse as to why he was intruding.

“Um… I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in here,” 10 apologized meekly, hands behind his back as his eyes flicked from Dottore’s face to the floor. The older man’s expression was unreadable, and it was silent for a good few moments before he spoke.

“I see,” was all Dottore said before he started walking toward 10, or rather, the door. The child looked up at the figure that had now gone past him, words leaving his mouth before he could think.

“Were you talking to [Name]? Do you miss them too?” Now that 10 thought about it, he had heard all about what the other segments had to say about you, but he still didn’t know the original’s feelings. Still, the child was surprised at himself for being able to ask Prime that. At the question, Dottore stopped in his tracks, seemingly contemplating whether he should respond or dismiss him before he turned around and faced his child segment, who then stiffened at the direct look.

“I hear that you’re with them quite often.” 10’s eyes widened at the response and nodded, although it wasn’t really an answer to his questions. “[Name] enjoys your company.” This only served to confuse the child even more, as he then glanced at your body. (For only Dottore knows about the time he found you asleep with a smile after the little boy left your room.)

“They… do? How do you know?” But when 10 looked back, Dottore was already gone. Well, he knew not to expect much conversation from him anyway, but still, he was greatly curious at his words. Regardless, 10 then walked up to you and made himself comfy near your bedside.

“Why do you like him so much, [Name]?” 10 inquired, playing with your fingers as he rested his cheek on your body. But of course, he received no answer from the person he was closest with yet farthest away from in this lab.

Even at the end of all of this, 10 still wasn’t exactly sure of what to think of you, having not had a real conversation with you yet, but he thought you seemed really cool, even while hooked up to a machine.

III. close

Change was not something 10 was familiar with. He was stuck as a kid forever, he was stuck in the lab, unable to leave like the other segments, he was stuck with the same toys and stories and other various pastimes that had long grown boring. So, the excitement of the unpredictable was something sorely lacking in the child’s life. Not to mention, the lab was a pretty dark place, both figuratively and literally. Although the boy was used to it, he wished it would be a bit more lively.

And after countless years of wishing, his wish finally came true. You, the mysterious sleeping grown-up that he only heard stories about, [Name], had finally woken up from centuries-long slumber. 10 was, to put it in a child’s simple words, “super happy”, but anyone else could see that his feelings went beyond that. However, despite 10’s great desire to meet you, he had decided to wait a bit, just to observe you.

The child followed you around, looking at you from afar, always slipping away before you could notice his presence. Seeing you up and walking around was so different from the once unmoving body he was so accustomed to. He listened to your voice. He watched you relearn so many things. He saw how sweetly you interacted with the other segments, and how keen they were for your touch, how they would tend to you on your weaker days. The child had never seen anything like it. 10 would have never believed the amount of change one mere person could bring. Meanwhile, the segments remained indifferent to the boy.

The more 10 watched you, the more he finally wanted to bask in your attention too. But the boy was scared. He remembered all the other adults in his life, from the village, and how they all looked and treated him with contempt. Could you be like that too? He wanted to think the answer was no, from how kind you seemed, but all the adults were so nice to the others except for him.

But maybe, maybe this time, it could be different. Everyone else approved of you after all. 10 wanted to trust you.

For once, his trust was not betrayed. After 10 finally introduced himself to you, you had given him so much attention it made his head spin. Your gentle and loving yet not overbearing demeanor. The way you listened to him seriously and reciprocated the energy, taking part in his childish activities. He was enthralled, to say the least.

You, on the other hand, were initially mystified by the appearance of the child. Not just any child, Dottore’s child self. Just to let that sink in, you had to keep repeating it to yourself. 10 was Dottore’s child self. He was him as a kid. What you were looking at was the embodiment of Zandik as a little boy. You couldn’t really believe your eyes at first. But he was real. Very real, from his higher-pitched voice (that was a really sharp contrast to Omega, for example) to his childlike demeanor and innocence.

The whole deal with the segments already took a bit for you to get accustomed to, but this was sort of new territory for you. After all, even though you’d known Dottore for so long, his childhood was something that came up rather infrequently. You chose not to pry further when you learned of how poorly he was treated as a child and instead offered him comfort in other ways. It had always made your heart ache and you wished you could do something more about it, to soothe his pain even just a bit. But now you quite literally had him in front of you, in a way. Quickly, your mind began working and formulating something.

Maybe… maybe you could help him by helping 10.

Sure, it sounded a bit stupid and probably useless at first, but there was no harm in trying. If anything else, you would be making 10 smile. From what you could infer, his life within this lab was far too dour for your liking.

Regardless, all those hours flew by in the blink of an eye, so much so that it felt like a dream. Was it, 10 wondered. But then the next day he found you eagerly waiting for him so you could spend more time with him. And the next. And the following day. And next week. Next month. And by then, he and the other were no longer merely numbers, but rather, they had names bestowed upon them, to truly identify them as individuals. 

And so, 10 had become Zandy. The difference between his past and present self was just as stark as the name change. It wasn’t just him, either. The other segments seemed different too with you around, in a good way. In all honesty, the young boy thought you were magical because he thought this kind of reality would only be possible in fairy tales. Needless to say, Zandy admired you greatly and sought you out quite frequently. 

He was happy to have you help him with his various assignments - to which your eyes nearly popped out when you saw the length and difficulty of some of the questions. You did help him, despite your shaky hands, but most of the time you stole him away to do much more fun things, that were “more important” according to you. The segments kept their thoughts to themselves unless they wanted to hear you gently scold them. It was amazing, Zandy thought.

The conversation of love had happened one day when you were putting him to bed after a long day. It had become a sort of routine for the two of you. You liked it because why wouldn’t you, it was the cutest thing ever. Zandy liked it because of how nice you were even when he really didn’t want to sleep yet, always indulging him with a story or a warm glass of milk. The segments liked it because they didn’t need to deal with him. 

“[Name], you love the segments, right?” Zandy had noticed that the word ‘love’ came out of your mouth rather frequently, compared to the other blue-haired men. You blinked at the question.

“Yes, I do. Why?” You asked as you tucked him in for the night alongside his Ruin Guard plushies (that you extorted the segments for.)

“All of them?”

“Of course.”

“Omega and Beta and Alpha and Delta and Zeta and-” His words were stopped by your laughter.

“Yes, dear. And Theta and Psi and Epsilon and- you don’t need me to list out all of their names, right?” Zandy shook his head but he still had another question for you.

“How much love do you have in you, [Name]?” The child couldn’t help but wonder how you did it - loving that many people seemed like a lot of work. You chuckled at the question.

“Very, very, much. You cannot put a quantity to love. It just happens when I’m surrounded by so many lovely people,” you kissed the boy on his forehead. “And that goes for you too. I love you very much, Zandy.” The child’s eyes widened as he fell silent, to which you questioned.

“Zandy? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he mumbled, his words further muffled by how he had now pulled the blanket over his head. You quickly connected the dots. He had probably never been told before that he was loved. You moved your hand under the blankets until you could feel one of his tiny hands, and then intertwined your fingers with the child’s.

“Hey, no need to lie to me, dear. You don’t have to hide around me,” you tried to gently soothe Zandy and coax him out when he spoke again.

“How do you know?”

“How do I know what?”

“That you love me.” His head popped back out of the blanket as he stared at you with big, uncertain eyes, but you only smiled in response.

“Well… for me, it’s simple. It brings me great joy to see you happy and smiling, and I want to make sure you continue to do so. I want to protect you, and I don’t ever want to see you hurt or sad. I want to make sure all of your wishes and dreams come true, and I want to keep you safe.” You said as you stroked Zandy’s hair. (You would have said that you loved him just as any parent would love their son, but you knew that with his experiences… it may not have been the most efficient.) Zandy’s lowered his eyes as he began to chew on his lip in thought.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever loved anyone before, [Name].” Zandy thought back to his parents, people whom he thought he loved, but now that he had you around, he realized that his feelings for them were nothing compared to what you made him feel. Loved. 

“That’s quite alright. Love is a beautiful thing, but it isn’t easy. What matters is that one tries.” That was a lesson all the segments could use. It was a bit confusing for Zandy, but somehow, he felt he understood.

“I see…” The sleepiness had finally fully hit Zandy as his eyes began to droop.

“Now, go to sleep. You don’t want to wake up tired tomorrow.” The child nodded and snuggled more under the cover. “Sweet dreams, dear.” You squeezed his hand before kissing his forehead one last time, and then getting up to turn off the light. As the room turned dark, you heard a small voice from behind you.

“I… love you, [Name].” It was quiet enough that if you weren’t paying attention, you might not have heard it, but you found his shyness endearing.

“I love you too, my child.” You smiled before exiting Zandy’s room, leaving him to have wonderful dreams, and then you were slightly startled by the man waiting outside for you. Dottore, rather, Prime Dottore himself. Zandik.

“Dottore. You’re here. I’ve missed you!” Your surprise quickly morphed into happiness as you saw the person you loved. He looked pleased to see you as well, as you linked your arm around his. “I hope I didn’t keep you too long. I was putting Zandy to bed.”

“I am aware. You do so every day.” You giggled, a little bit embarrassed.

“Well, someone needs to. You know, you should join us! We could always use another playmate.”

“I believe you are far more suited to the task than I am. Moreover, how have you been feeling as of late? It seems you have more energy than usual.” The way he quickly changed the conversation didn’t go unnoticed by you. You had told yourself that you wanted to help Dottore by helping Zandy, but it seemed to you that he rarely ever interacted, or even wanted to interact with the child. Dottore didn’t talk to his segments much in general, but he still had to for experiments and general Fatui business. Zandy, however, was the exception. It did hurt your heart to see it happen.

Back in your room, you had some thinking to do.

Now that you thought about it, you should have seen this coming. It made a lot of sense for Dottore to behave like this. You knew his feelings toward his childhood, towards himself in fact. But was it right? Was it fair? Of course not, at least in your opinion. However, you didn’t know what Zandy thought about this. You had yet to see the two together, and you had never asked him about Prime either. 

You wondered what your lover thought when he heard of you and Zandy together, you hugging and showering him in affection. Did he like it? Was he annoyed? Or did he not care, maybe something else? You always prided yourself on being able to comprehend him but…

This wasn’t going to be easy.

But you would see it to the end.

IV. complex

You often enjoyed taking walks around the lab. It was a good pastime and a way to keep your body active, not to mention the times you’d bump into a segment and end up taking a little break with him. Although you enjoyed the time by yourself, it could be a bit too lonely sometimes, which was precisely why Zandy came along. 

You had found out that he knew every nook and cranny of this place like the back of his hand, having explored it for countless years as he had nothing better to do. Therefore, Zandy often showed you around the lab, more specifically, the unknown and harder-to-reach parts, also known as his favorite hiding spots. You were quite grateful for his assistance, as you were sure you’d never discover some of these places on your own. 

Zandy was a bundle of energy that you could handle, well, most of the time at least. Were it not for your illness, you would have matched it easily. You felt a bit bad about not being able to keep up with him, but the child never minded. Although he tended to run in the halls and drag you around, he always paid attention to whether you seemed to need a break. A real sweetheart, indeed. 

Today was one such day.

You and Zandy had already been in this area before, but it was so big you couldn’t complete it all in one day. The kid was eager to continue exploring with you, scampering in front of you and then jumping in place for you to catch up. You believed he was especially excited because, on one of these journeys, you two had discovered some sort of creature… or rather creatures lurking around. 

The corridors always had some darkness to them, so you had not noticed the black puff balls hiding until one of them popped open its singular red eye at you. You would have yelped if you weren’t in awe of the cuteness of the silly creature. Similarly, once Zandy followed your line of sight, stars appeared in his eyes as more black puff balls came out of nowhere, and began scurrying toward you. The singular blue strand of hair reminded you of someone. Your best guess was that it was one of Dottore’s failed experiments.

Before you could advise the child to be cautious of these pufflings, Zandy had scooped one up already and was petting it. At least they seemed to be friendly - they had even gifted you a couple of shiny things, tiny pieces of minerals. And you swore you caught sight of a fluffy blue thing with a tail peering from afar too that seemed to be too shy to approach. Perhaps Dottore would let you keep them as a pet if you asked?

You giggled to yourself as you finished reminiscing about that. You did hope you ran into those things again. Meanwhile, Zandy had already gone ahead, turning into another hall.

“Now Zandy, don’t run too fast before you trip and fall!” You called after him, increasing the pace of your steps to chase after him.

“Come on, all the Mr. Fluffies are wait-” Zandy’s joyful voice abruptly stopped. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion before pushing yourself to jog a little faster. And that’s when you saw the reason why he had stopped - Dottore was standing over the little boy, the height difference so palpable that they both had to crane their neck to view the other. It seemed that Zandy bumped into him, but you were happy to see your two favorite people together. Perhaps this was a good chance to put another plan into action!

“Hello, Dottore. I’m glad to see you out of your office so much,” you greeted your lover with a pleasant smile. The man had no expression, while the boy hid his relief when he saw you. You tried not to bite your lip.

“I did not expect to see you here.”

“You know I like to take my daily walks, so Zandy here was just showing me some more places to go. But it looks like your secret spots aren’t so secret anymore, are they Zandy?” You chuckled light-heartedly, but when you looked down, you saw that the child was fidgeting with his fingers awkwardly, clinging onto your cling.

“Mhm.” Your smile fell.

“I see.” The two did not make eye contact, the tension suffocating. You cleared your throat.

“W-We could use another person to-”

“Unfortunately, I am preoccupied at the moment,” the Harbinger quickly dismissed your request. “However, do remember not to push yourself. Your body is still weak.”

“... Of course.”

“Good.” With a nod to you and without further eye contact to Zandy, he walked away. You held back a sigh before you ruffled the kid’s hair.

“Shall we continue?” Your smile didn’t reach all the way to your eyes, but you hoped Zandy wouldn’t realize. But before you could move, he spoke.

“Why do you like him so much, [Name]?” The child repeated the question he remembered asking you while you were still asleep. This time, however, he would finally get an answer. You crouched down to Zandy’s level, placing your hands on his shoulders as you pondered what to say. 

“I love Dottore because… he makes me feel loved too. For centuries, he’s treated me better than anyone else. His kindness may not be typical, but I still receive it happily. His sweetness is bitter, but the taste is pleasurable. His love isn’t ordinary, but it soothes me either way.”

“That makes sense.” Zandy knew that wasn’t a lie. He had seen how his creator treated you. “Then Prime must feel the opposite toward me.”

“That’s not true.” You frowned as you immediately shot down the thought, stroking Zandy’s cheek gently. “Dottore just-” Before you could finish, Zandy looked up at you with a wide, forced smile as he broke free from your hold.

“It’s okay, [Name]. It doesn’t bother me. Now let’s go, I want to find those puffy things again!” And then the child was off, and you were left with an aching heart.

That same night, you paid Dottore a visit, unwilling to be a bystander in this anymore. At least he was doing paperwork this time. It was easier to gain his attention than when he was doing an experiment.

“Dottore.”

“Hello, [Name].” The scholar didn’t look up from his work, as he was already used to you popping in and hanging around for a bit.

“Are you busy?”

“I-”

“Good. We need to talk.” Dottore paused and looked up at you for a moment, who had now stood in front of him, your hands balled on his desk. He took in the dissatisfied look and thin line in replace of your usual smile, before responding.

“About?”

“Why do you ignore Zandy so much?” You said plainly, not in the mood to beat around the bush. From the way his pen stopped, you think he knew this was coming eventually.

“I simply do not have time to entertain the whims of a child.”

“It has nothing to do with that! I-, this is just basic decency. It feels to me that your lack of consideration is on purpose. It is, isn’t it?” Dottore was silent, not even moving his pen.

“Answer me, Zandik.”

“He has you. It is enough.”

“It is not enough. Zandy is a child. He is hurt by you. You are hurting yourself, Zandik. Do you expect me to be okay with this?” Dottore’s pen had started moving again. Your palms hurt from your fingers digging into them so harshly. In a last-ditch effort, you attempted to speak to him using those terms he liked so much.

“Did you not create him to understand his perspective of everything? So, how do you plan to do that if you do not try to speak to him?” It seemed you were not going to let this go.

“I created my segments to observe their perspectives. To preserve it,” Dottore clarified. 

“Observe?” You laughed at that. “Pray tell, how will you do that if you don’t even try to be around the child for more than five seconds? And besides, merely observing never brings you the most satisfying results. I thought you of all people would understand that,” you quipped back. 

“Please, at least… at least tell me you’re going to try. Just try, even if it doesn’t work out,” you pleaded with your love. Unfortunately, your words could not reach him.

“It is late. You should go to sleep.” You gritted your teeth at his response.

“Fine. Then I will simply treat you the same way as you do with Zandy.” As he opened his mouth to defy your declaration, you quickly spoke again. “If you think I won’t do it, then you forgot the person I was in the Akademiya, and who I still am now. I do this because I love every single version of you, Zandik, more than anything else in this world. If you want to test my love, then by all means go ahead, but I doubt you’ll find even one possibility where you’ll be able to. Good night.” Your tone was hard and biting as you left without letting him get in another word.

Dottore could only watch as you stormed out, leaning back in his chair to rub his forehead as his mask clattered to the ground. Il Dottore was used to getting his way. Zandik, however, not so much, especially when you were in the picture. This perspective of yours was always… always something he struggled to understand.

Of course, the Harbinger learned very quickly that you would make good on your word. Instead of his name being called, he had to deal with his segments being asked for instead.

“Omega, please administer the medicine for me today.”

“Delta, could you come over here? I feel a bit unsteady on my feet.”

“Sigma, would you visit me before bed? I would like someone to chat with.”

“Beta, let’s go to your lab. I’m bored!”

You walked past him without a glance. You did not ask him anything. You did not refer to him. He was practically invisible to you. You knew that you were technically being more harsh to him than he was to Zandy, but you weren’t going to stop. You also hoped that helping Dottore to be kind to Zandy would eventually spread to the other segments too. The segments were initially baffled by the turn of events but quickly adjusted to it, although the look Prime gave them certainly wasn’t something they wanted to endure. It didn’t need to be said that Prime was awfully upset, despite his unbothered expression.

In the past, every time you had pulled a stunt or something after an argument, Dottore would find it amusing. He had a bad habit of being unyielding and refusing to admit he was in the wrong, and that was coupled with his idea that you were just being childish. But every time, you stuck it out until the end and refused to back down too. Eventually, he stopped finding it funny.

The stalemate went on for a while. Dottore’s bed had remained cold for far too long, no longer having the pleasant surprise of finding you on it sometimes. His office was silent, your visits becoming nonexistent. Despite how he chided you sometimes for bothering him, his mind had become preoccupied with thoughts of you and what you were doing. It wasn’t good for someone who had so much work to do, and for someone who hated giving in. This simply wouldn’t do.

At the very least, he could at least still follow you around to see your sweet smile and laughter. You just didn’t know. However, it seemed every time he longed for you, you also happened to be with the kid. For a long time, every time he saw you be so sweet to the child, it felt like seeing an impossibility become a possibility, and yet he tried his best to ignore it. He knew how fond you were of his child segment, well, Zandy as you’ve come to call him, and he… he just didn’t…know how to feel.

Yet now he felt himself somehow drawn to the scene, in a strange way. Was it because he liked seeing you happy, and the child seemed to bring out your brightest smiles? Was it because seeing his child segment like this wasn’t something he’d ever witnessed before? Was it because he himself had never been treated so kindly as a child, and yet now he was watching it happen in front of him? Was it because his deepest wishes that he buried with his childhood self were now becoming reality? Dottore ignored the answers to his own questions, attempting to finish a report that was long overdue for Pantalone, but his mind continued to wander about what he had witnessed.

Dottore remembers when he overheard you and Zandy having dinner.

You and Zandy were sitting across from each other eating. Well, it was more like you trying to convince the child to eat at least a few of his vegetables.

“Zandy, at least eat a few. You don’t need to finish it all,” you gently urged the child. “How else are you going to become big and strong?” 

“But they’re yucky,” he pouted. You chuckled.

“Perhaps I need to experiment more… I will find a way to prepare it in a way you like, my child. But for now, if you eat a bit more, I’ll… give you my dessert!” Zandy perked up at your words while stabbing the dreaded green thing with his fork.

“Deal!” He exclaimed while forcing the vegetable into his mouth (eating with his ‘family’ for once.)

Dottore remembers when he overheard you and Zandy playing a game.

You had recently purchased a game from abroad to pass the time. It had four surfaces and numerous columns that you needed to place small, medium, or large gears on. The objective was to place the right gears at the right locations in order to get them all going. Although you originally bought it for yourself, Zandy was quite excited by the idea, and you were never going to turn down an opportunity to challenge his brain. Within reason, of course.

In the end, you were content with simply watching the child play with the gears and figure out the answer by himself, or with small hints from you.

“Would you look at that! You’ve already finished all of the levels, and we’ve only started today… I didn’t even need to be here since you’ve got such a smart brain up there,” you teased, tapping Zandy’s forehead playfully. He blushed slightly.

“That’s not true. Your advice was really helpful, [Name]!”

“Perhaps, but your own thoughts were already more than enough. I would like to hear them more often.” The child glowed at the idea of you listening to him (instead of shunning him.)

“Okay!”

Dottore remembers when he overheard you reading Zandy a book.

You had a tendency to invite Zandy over to your room often, considering how much Zandy liked it. He marveled at the size and all your decorations, and the collections of your interests (how you had gotten Dottore to fund this was beyond the child’s imagination.) Not to mention, how soft and fluffy your numerous pillows were. Tonight, you were reading him a story, the child lying back against your chest as you held the storybook in front of you two. 

“Alright, I think that’s enough for tonight,” you said as you stifled a yawn, and you also noticed Zandy was doing the same. “We can continue tomorrow.”

“Okay…” Zandy mumbled tiredly enough not to put up a fight. You put the book to the side and turned off the lights (with a remote, courteously created by Dottore for the days you couldn’t get out of bed.) Pulling up the blankets, you were about to wish the boy good night when he spoke.

“[Name]?”

“Yes?”

“I always have lots of fun when I’m with you but… do I bother you too much? I know you’re probably busy and you also have your illness and-”

“Zandy. I love spending time with you. And even if I am busy, I will always make time for you, no matter what,” you promised the boy (unlike that man and woman who left him forever alone.)

“Oh…”

“See? So don’t ever feel bad about it,” you reassured Zandy, which left him with only the sweetest of dreams to dream.

Dottore remembers when he overheard you gently lecturing Zandy.

Children are pure-hearted and innocent, and even Dottore was once a child. It wasn’t hard to see that Zandy and his other older selves were starkly different. The former was kind and sweet, and the latter… well, you didn’t need to say it out loud. But the main point was that you didn’t need to worry too much about Zandy hiding stuff from you. Once you broke down his walls, he was a very open and honest child. Ninety-nine percent of the time, you’d say. But of course, children were children.

You had left the child in the kitchen while you went to retrieve a new cookbook the Eleventh Harbinger had gifted you, wanting to try out some new dishes especially since Zandy was interested. When you got back, however, you noticed that his face seemed a bit flushed and nervous, and his hands were in his pockets.

“Zandy? Everything alright?”

“Um, yeah!” His voice sounded a bit odd, and you squinted at him while he avoided eye contact. You’ve dealt with Dottore who was a smooth, easy talker that could spin lies like nothing. Zandy, on the other hand, was too easy to see through.

“Are you sure?” The boy nodded in response, probably so his voice wouldn’t betray him again. “Show me your hands.” But he only had a child’s level of lying, from the way his eyes gave it away.

“But-”

“Now.” Zandy very reluctantly showed you his hand, and you then saw one of his fingers was dripping blood. Your heart sank.

“You’re bleeding? I- What happened?!” You rushed him over to the sink and began washing it, while your other hand rummaged through the cabinets for some cotton or bandages.

“I wanted to be h-helpful and get the stuff out for you. But I dropped a plate and it broke and I tried to clean it up and I cut myself,” Zandy mumbled, clearly not wanting to admit his mistake. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You were already used to seeing your own blood drawn, but Zandy was a different story. Seeing your child hurt had made you dizzy and uneasy, even if it was just a cut.

“... I thought you would be mad.” Zandy’s voice was but a whisper, and your eyes softened.

“And why would I be mad at you?”

“B-Because I broke something…” You sighed as you placed the bandage around his tiny finger.

“But it was just an accident, right? Accidents happen, and furthermore, we have dozens of plates. I would never be mad at something as simple as that. And I care far more for your well-being rather than a mere plate. So next time, please don’t lie to me. Okay, Zandy?” You said gently but firmly, as you finished treating his finger (a far cry from what his punishment used to be, living in that house.)

“Okay, [Name]...” The boy hugged you afterward, blinking back his tears on your shirt so you wouldn’t see them.

Dottore remembers when he overheard you talking to Zandy about him.

The stand-off between you and Dottore had gone on long enough for even Zandy to realize, even though you tried to keep him out of the loop. You should have guessed that the child was going to ask you eventually.

“[Name], are you and Prime fighting?” The question came out of nowhere, surprising you but you hoped it didn’t show.

“We are just having a… disagreement, dear. Nothing to worry about. And no, it isn’t about you or anyone else. It is just a personal thing between us,” you added before Zandy could inquire. You hoped he didn’t feel guilty.

“Do you miss him?

“Of course.”

“Then why fig- disagree so much?”

“Zandy, some things in life can only be resolved with disagreements. You’re not going to see eye to eye with everyone, even those you love. But they’re necessary so that you can move on and grow stronger together,” you explained. “Neither of us enjoys having spats… even though he treats them like a joke sometimes,” the last part was mumbled under your breath, “but we do get through them every time, and although it’s definitely not easy, it’s worth it.” Zandy blinked thoughtfully at your response, (an unconventional depiction of healthy love, rather than the conventional portrayal of an unhealthy one he once knew.)

“You’re really strong, [Name].” 

“Strong? Not anymore. Patient? Yes,” you laughed, for you are the only one capable of loving a heretic.

Dottore remembers an awful lot, for someone who supposedly doesn’t care. He remembers all the moments you’ve spent with his child self, from when you were sleeping to when you woke up to the ones he heard through his segments. What you’ve introduced into Zandy’s life is the opposite of what Zandik’s life was like. Sheer love, to put it simply, even someone like him can see it, as he is no idiot. Dottore denies wanting to be accepted, and yet he is watching himself be accepted as he longed for. It makes him feel…

Regardless, this sort of mind wandering was no good for the Harbinger, especially the type where you have forced him to dwell about the child he is and isn’t. Before he knew it, the report sat untouched in front of him for a period of time.

Truly no good, and that is why his feet automatically move to find you once more. In truth, he hadn’t decided what he was going to say to you yet - whether to admit that in his heart he has yielded to you but his words will probably be the opposite. 

It wasn’t hard to find you. You were usually in your room or a segment’s, or with a segment himself, minus the times you decided to take walks. At this time though, you’d probably be with the child.

Dottore was right. But it wasn’t quite what he had expected.

You and Zandy had fallen asleep… on the floor, hands barely brushing each other. Dottore sighed at the sight - at least it was rugged and not wooden. The cold wouldn’t have been good for either of you.

(Either of you?)

He made his way over to the two of you, bending down to move you to the bed. He first pulled your body to his chest with ease before his gaze flicked to the child next to you. His breath stills, hand hesitantly hovering over Zandy, fingers twitching with unease. 

(Since when did he, the Second Harbinger, one that could very well be compared to a God, hesitate? This was foolish. It didn’t mean anything.)

And then Zandik slid his arm around the boy, bringing him into his chest too, and then rose to put you two comfortably to bed. He never thought he would ever tuck his child segment in, but here he was anyway.

It made him feel a little sick, the unfamiliar sensation along his fingertips and heart and mind.

But Dottore can’t resist giving you a kiss, having missed your lips for so long, which makes him feel a bit better. He’ll always have you, his beloved.

He should leave you two to rest properly, but he finds himself drawn to the scene in front of him. The ill feeling still remains somewhere, but a warmth that he wouldn’t name had started spreading too.

As he makes his way to leave the room, he dares not to look at the drawings scattered around, for they are persistent in portraying him as what he is not. In the poor scribbles, he is not a Harbinger, not a scholar or a scientist, nor a monster or the Doctor or Dottore in them.

He is just a man, one who can succumb to the side of him he so constantly rejects.

V. clumsy

You wouldn’t have believed last night happened if you weren’t there. But it did - you couldn’t sleep after you felt his warm embrace, but more importantly, after he held Zandy. You hadn’t even expected him to talk to the child so quickly, much less hold him so tenderly (even if that wasn’t his intention.) When it came to this kind of stuff, it was never easy to change his mind.

Needless to say, you were pleased but you knew he was never going to admit to it. However, you were still proud of him, and you were still determined to accomplish your goal.

Walking to Dottore’s office was something you had missed. When Zandy had asked you if you missed Dottore, the answer wasn’t just that you missed him - you longed for him, you yearned for his touch, you craved his presence. Such deep love was the reason why you wanted to help him.

When you get there, he’s preoccupied at his desk again. No matter how strong he may be, you still worry for his back sometimes. You should make some more snacks for him later too.

“Dottore,” you say as you walk in. The place was as boring-looking as it always is, the only decorations are the little trinkets you’ve gifted him that lay on his desk. His mouth opens to respond but he then immediately pauses, as he processes whose voice he’s hearing. He takes a few moments to study you as you continue to walk up to his desk, now standing in front of him just as you were the last time you were here.

“Hello, [Name].” He doesn’t show how nice it is to hear your voice again after so long, even though he has dealt with it for over four hundred years.

“Hello, Dottore. And how have you been?” Dottore watches you carefully with your line of questioning.

“As I’ve always have.” You hum in response as you glance at the papers on his desk, idly clicking and unclicking one of his numerous pens (that had yet to snap in half.) “I’ve heard your report for Pantalone is late. Is something occupying your mind, perhaps?”

“There is no such thing. The information is simply-”

“You know, I saw you last night, Zandik.” Your words cut him off as you watch his shoulders tense, and then relax. “I saw what you did.”

“I… see.” He probably knew it was futile to deny the claim. “And?” He watched as you walked around to his chair, your eyes glancing to his lap and back to his eyes as if asking for permission. He motioned for you to come closer, and you settled down on his lap, legs hooked over to the side. You were silent for a few moments before you reached for his large hand and held it with yours, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles.

“I won’t ask you to explain anything to me,” you began. “I… I don’t want to sound like I’m pitying you, I know you despise that, Zandik.” He remained silent. “But we,” you stressed on that word, “we can still make things right. It’s not too late to change things, no matter what’s happened before,” you said softly as you cupped Dottore’s cheek, caressing it gently. Your lover remained silent as he continued to look at you, his hand reaching to intertwine with your own.

“I remember every time your perspective clashed with mine,” he replied. You tried to ignore your rapid heartbeat. “And I remember the end result was that you were always right, and I was too stubborn. Yet you always pushed me to see it your way regardless.” Dottore’s hand rested on top of your head, stroking your hair as he considered his next words.

“Maybe this time I shall save myself the time and energy and listen to you instead.” You could have fainted, hearing Dottore admit that to you. Your mouth opened and closed, trying to find something to respond with, but there was nothing else you could do other than smile, ignoring the prick of tears in your eyes, and the way your breathing stuttered.

“... Thank you, Zandik. Thank you,” you whispered, nuzzling your face into his chest.

“However, I must say I may not be up to your-”

“You will,” you quickly interrupted. “You will be. You can do this, with me of course. We’ll take it slow and easy of course, I know this is quite hard and you’re busy and-” you continued to reassure him while squeezing his hand and nodding passionately, while he watched amused.

“I question where your confidence comes from.” You smiled, for that was an easy question.

“Because you are no monster, Zandik. Not to me, at least, the person who knows you better than anyone else. And even if the world views you as one, well… I suppose we would be two monsters together. That’s not too bad, right?” You chuckled, and he couldn’t help but smile a bit too.

“Perhaps you could be right.”

From then on, it was certainly a journey. An exhausting and long one to say the least. But it was also a rewarding one.

Obviously, even though he had given you his word, real life was different from the fantasy you wished for. There were still his overwhelming duties as a Harbinger, there were many days he didn’t even have time for you. And you - there were many days your illness left you far too tired to move around or even speak to anyone. And of course, Il Dottore was not going to change his ways overnight. It was hard dealing with him sometimes. There were still arguments. Clashes. Annoyance. It was never easy to mesh differentiating perspectives into one. 

Still, nothing was enough to deter you or your love for him.

a. the potential attempt

The first step was to get them to be in the same space. Not even closely or with interaction, just to get them comfortable enough with each other. When you proposed the idea to Zandy, the baffled look on his face nearly made you laugh. He initially didn’t want to, which you could understand, but you played it off as wanting to spend time with both of them, considering how Dottore was frequently busy. Getting Zandy to agree wasn’t that hard, considering how much he loved you, but you still felt a bit bad. But this was for a good cause!

You were accustomed to chilling wherever Dottore was without fear. Zandy, on the other hand, was not the same. He spoke quietly and always flickered his eyes to see where and what Dottore was doing.

“Zandy, you don’t need to worry about him. Nothing’s going to happen.” 

“But…” 

“Trust me. I bet he can’t even hear us right now,” you nudged him to look at the older man. “See that look on his face? How hard he’s gripping his pen and how fast he’s writing? That’s how you know he’s so incredibly focused, he tunes out the rest of the world.” Still, the child didn’t look too convinced by your words, so you decided to prove it.

“Dottore, I made you some baklava,” you said rather loudly, yet there was no response. Zandy looked surprised now, you both knew how much Dottore enjoyed Sumerian desserts. “And, I brewed you a new pot of coffee.” His pen continued to scribble across the paper, as you then turned to Zandy.

“See? No need to feel so cautious.” Zandy’s shoulders seemed to relax until you spoke again. “Now you try it.”

“Me?!” Zandy whisper-yelled, looked as if you had asked him to commit a crime.

“Yes, you dear. How else will you get comfortable with him?” The child pouted and nuzzled into your arm, seeing as you weren’t going to give up. He chewed on his lip and he began to speak.

“I… Prime…,” Zandy tried to think of something, anything, “Prime… I ate your sweets!” The child immediately regrets it at record speed, anxiously hiding behind you.

“... My, my, how bold. Even I wouldn’t say that.” Zandy peeked out behind you and saw his creator was still diligently writing, and breathed a sigh of relief. “See, not that bad, right?” The boy nodded, but his mind wandered.

“[Name], I didn’t eat his sweets.” You cocked your head at his statement. “... But I think Beta did.”

“Oh dear. I suppose it’s time to get a lock on that fridge now… and then we need to make some more before-” At that moment, a snapping sound from the side made you two jump.

Ah. Dottore had finally broken his pen. Well, that one lasted longer than usual. You and Zandy watched with held breath as Dottore scowled and cast the broken utensil to the side, before looking at each other and trying to hold in laughter, avoiding the Harbinger’s eye contact and returning to what you two were previously doing. The man looked at your giggling faces with confusion.

“Is something the matter?”

“Not at all, love. Not at all,” you smiled, but by the fact that even his child segment seemed to be giggling, he knew you said something. (He ignores how foreign the laughter of the child sounds to him.)

Regardless, he sends you a look before shaking his head and returning to work (with a new pen.)

b. the awkward attempt

One of the moments that captured your heart was when Zandy walked in on Dottore giving you one of your shots. Needles weren’t unfamiliar to you anymore, and although they scared you (and still did, to be honest), thankfully Dottore and the segments had enough patience to make it as painless as possible. Zandy, however, never really saw the checkups or anything related because you really didn’t want to worry the child about your illness. But you supposed it would happen eventually. 

The atmosphere had suddenly turned a bit awkward with Zandy now standing at the door, eyes on the rather large needle that sat on the tray, that was definitely going into none other than you. From his wide eyes, you could tell it probably wasn’t what he was expecting to see. Of course, needles, especially a big one like Dottore was holding, would scare any child his age.

“O-Oh! Zandy, you can wait outside for a few minutes. You don’t need to watch,” you explained, while Dottore stood silently next to you as he prepped the area of your arm. The child seemed conflicted for a few moments before he decided to walk closer to you and the Harbinger.

“No, it’s okay. I… want to see,” Zandy said. In reality, the boy knew you hid certain things from him and wished to know the truth. He wanted to know how badly you were hurt, maybe he could try and do something for you. (Perhaps this too, is a side effect of teaching him what love is.)

“You do? Well… I guess I won’t stop you then,” you said, a bit confused but you wouldn’t just send him away. Dottore placed a hand on your shoulder and got you to relax again for him. Meanwhile, Zandy had come up to the opposite side and looked at you with slightly worried eyes.

“Is it going to hurt, [Name]?”

“Well, it does prick a bit, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. It’s the same as any other shot,” you tried to reassure him as his gaze became downcast. You bit your lip nervously, about to give him a solution, when out of nowhere Dottore himself spoke.

“Physical and emotional support from another party often makes the procedure less painful for the recipient,” he said in a monotone as if he wasn’t speaking to either of you at all. You and Zandy blinked at him before he continued. “I’m going to start the injection now.” Suddenly, it seemed like Zandy understood the message, as the child then grabbed your hand, and squeezed it with his much tinier one.

“You can do this, [Name]!” His instant enthusiasm distracted you from the prick of the needle, but also the fact that Dottore technically spoke to Zandy, encouraging him even. It was simply adorable.

“Zandy, I-” 

“You know, there was one time I fell while-”

“Oh wow-”

“But I was okay because-”

“I see-” You had decided to continue smiling and nodding at the child’s attempt to distract you from the shot until he abruptly stopped, his eyes flickering to where Dottore had now finished bandaging the area.

“Ah, it’s finished,” you breathed a sigh of relief and deflated on the chair, but Zandy still had a load of energy for you to entertain.

“You didn’t even look a bit scared, [Name]!” You grinned and ruffled his hair.

“Why, I doubt anything in this world could scare me when I have my lovely son and husband with me,” you smiled as you kissed Zandy’s forehead, which he beamed at while Dottore turned away to clean up, an attempt to ignore how the scene made his chest feel.

A family, huh?

What a strange thing.

c. the successful attempt

You were quite proud of the progress Zandy and Dottore had made together, but still, the most important part remained. Now that you had gotten them to be in the same room with each other, you wanted them to at least manage a few short conversations. That was the biggest and most difficult part of this whole thing, but starting small was always the key. And so you decided to somewhat ‘force’ them into such situations. How? By just making the child run errands for you. (Sure, you could have let things run their natural course, but with these two, they definitely needed some kind of push.)

An easy way to make Dottore lighten up was to cook something yummy for him, with bonus points if it was something from his homeland. So that was what you and Zandy did - whipped up a bunch of samosas and even a pita pocket (since you knew he had definitely been skipping meals, much to your dismay.) You had packaged them nicely in a container for him to eat at his leisure and instructed Zandy to deliver them. He seemed less nervous than before but still a bit on edge, nevertheless determined to fulfill your wishes, as he soon found himself in Prime’s office. The man seemed surprised. The child avoided eye contact. The room was silent, without you to act as a middleman.

But Dottore decided to begin.

“Did you need something?” Zandy perked up at the acknowledgment and quickly began walking to his desk, slightly standing up on his tippy-toes to push the container of food in front of his creator.

“[Name] and I made this for you. They said you need to eat more or they’ll get mad again,” the child repeated your words verbatim, trying to gauge Dottore’s reaction. The scholar’s hands glided against the plastic, looking at the tasty treats that lay inside.

“I see. Thank you.” He began to set them to the side before Zandy spoke again.

“Um, they also want you to try one.” Dottore paused. Of course you would say that, he sighed.

“Very well.” He opened the container and picked out a samosa, the snack still warm. He ignored how enticing it was to his stomach and began to lift it to his mouth when he stopped and pushed the box closer to his child segment. Zandy looked at him with curious eyes and he motioned for him to take one. Happily, the boy indulged his request and popped the samosa into his mouth, which Dottore soon followed suit, the two savoring the flavors of your delicious and homey cooking.

“How would you say that was?” He questioned Zandy. The child still had trouble he was being acknowledged so much but responded in kind.

“The most delicious thing ever!”

“I would say the same.” And that was the end of the conversation, as Dottore returned to his work and Zandy scurried away, both content with the conclusion. Dottore’s answers may have been short and swift, but it was progress.

By now Dottore had caught onto your little game, while Zandy was just happy to be helpful to you. There were a lot of other instances where you sent him to Dottore - to fetch some medication, to bring Dottore a letter (that totally didn’t just have three words on it), to bring him some new writing utensils, and much more. The occurrences were all short, but they were beginning to grow a lot less awkward. You were happy.

This time you asked Zandy to fetch a book from Dottore, which was actually a legitimate request this time. He really wanted to learn more about those Ruin Machines, and you figured it would be a lot easier if you had a book as a reference. (Dottore had not yet gotten used to the Zandy’s appearances, still a bit stiff and unsure about the whole thing. But they weren’t unwelcome visits, no, they were starting to become a constant in his life.)

Zandy, on the other hand, had already started to feel much better about interacting with Prime Dottore, thanks to your words and Dottore’s much better actions. The once dreaded path to his office had now become a lot more lighthearted. Sure, he was still a bit tense sometimes, but he thinks most people are that way around Dottore (except you, you’re special), so when he finally makes it to his creator’s office once more he’s not too scared. The older man doesn’t seem to be surprised at his visits anymore.

“And what request do you come to me for today?”

“[Name] and I need a book.” Dottore’s eyes widened. You knew the kind of books he had were… well, inappropriate for some eyes. “A book about Ruin Machines and Guards and Graders and Hunters and their parts and designs and all that cool stuff!”

“I see.” Well, that made more sense. The Harbinger got up from his seat to retrieve a book on that topic, when a sudden and uncharacteristic thought came over him. He did enjoy reading books, as they were a wondrous source of information, but he still far preferred hands-on learning. He wondered if… if perhaps his younger self would prefer that too right now. 

No, he knew Zandy would, he was literally him when he was a kid, but the question was whether Dottore was up to this or not. A while ago, this situation would have been impossible. But now, it was a possibility, an outcome that only Dottore could choose to achieve. He stared at Zandy, who had begun to get a bit nervous at the strange attention.

“If you’re busy-”

“Would you prefer it if I showed you instead, rather than simply viewing pictures?”

“Like the actual machines?” Zandy’s eyes glowed with excitement.

“No, just the parts. But I believe it will be more interesting than only examining them in a book.” He could already hear you in his ear if he decided to let the child near those things, especially without you. Zandy only felt a moment of disappointment before he quickly bounced back.

“Please! I want to see the parts! Can I touch them too? Will you show me what they do?” His barrage of questions was sudden, but the scientist found himself enjoying them. After all, if no one else will indulge his curiosity, then he must do so himself, no matter what age he is.

(Although he’s only a few minutes into the explanation, his younger self’s eyes glimmer with a brightness he’s never seen, or at least never noticed before. Were his eyes always this red? You always compliment the color of his, but he can’t seem to remember his eyes ever having such a radiant gleam. He ignores it, for he’s sure his own eyes were never like that as a child.)

Meanwhile, you were left wondering why the boy had been gone so long. Did something happen? You decided to make your way over to Dottore’s office when you heard the voices spilling out of the ajar door. A young and chirpy one, and an old and tired one, and yet they both seemed equally as excited about whatever the subject matter was.

Peeking in, you were beyond surprised to see your husband and child sitting next to each other, a variety of mechanical parts surrounding the two. Zandy was examining one while Dottore rambled on about it, yet in a logically sound way that even a child could understand. You remember the same thing happening to you back in the Akademiya. 

Your heart beat excitedly at this discovery. The way they seemed comfortable with each other, despite their strained relationship from a while ago… in fact, perhaps you could say it looked like a father and his son. All that was missing was the other parent. But should you ruin the moment? You wanted it to last forever…

Unfortunately, staring for too long had attracted the attention of Zandy, who brightened even more at your presence, and quickly waved you over, which also alerted Dottore. Well, there was no hiding anymore, as you began to walk towards the two you loved the most.

“Well well, lucky you, Zandy. To get a lesson from none other than Dottore in Automatons! But oh, I am a bit hurt. Are my teaching skills not up to par for you two?” You teased them lightheartedly, which Zandy giggled at, and Dottore scoffed.

“Fa- Prime wanted to show me the stuff instead of us going through that huge book together. It’s much more fun this way! Oh, but I should have come and told you though… sorry.” Dottore didn’t say anything, but you didn’t need him to. You went to the opposite side of Zandy and sat down, wrapping your arm around him.

“Perhaps I too could be one of your students, Dottore? Zandy and I are eager to learn more!” Dottore let out a sigh at your antics.

“Then listen carefully, because I will not repeat myself to you.”

“How cruel!”

The laughter of two echoed throughout the room, while the other could only smile.

VI. coldness

You loved your family very much. That was obvious to anyone who saw you with them.

Pantalone who asked about how your son was faring, and if your husband would be able to produce sufficient results soon. Columbina who liked to play dress up with you and Zandy to wear matching outfits, while Dottore obviously refused to entertain her nonsense. Childe who couldn’t help but be fond of Zandy as well, tempted to introduce him to Teucer, but also greatly questioned your choice of husband (and father.) The Fatui agents who watched you squish the young segment’s cheeks and tease your imposing Harbinger husband in broad daylight. It was certainly something to see, and one wouldn’t believe it until they saw it with their own eyes.

Meanwhile, the segments had been onlookers on the whole thing.

You were sure each individual segment felt a bit differently about the situation, but the general feeling was probably jealousy. Jealousy toward Zandy for being able to take up so much of your attention. Well, that had always been the case since you’d met the child, but it increased a lot since your journey to help Dottore reconcile with his past self. You just hoped as the years went by, their attitude would change. If you had gotten Prime to change, then his segments weren’t impossible, right? You did see a few of them start to be a bit more patient with Zandy!

Regardless, you were more than happy with the outcome. Dottore and Zandy were talking to each other like normal human beings now. Sure, there were still moments where they were awkward and silent, which was to be expected considering how many years went by with their relationship nonexistent. 

Physical affection, however… well, it still had some work left. The only person he wanted to touch him was you since he had known you for so long. Even then, sometimes you couldn’t when he wasn’t in a good mood. So coming to terms with Zandy touching him so casually was still something to get used to. Still, he seemed to have gotten used to the hand brushing and even patted the child’s hair when he did well. On good days, perhaps the child would even be in his lap.

Still, now that you had helped create a bond between them, nothing could stop their progress. Nothing at all.

Dottore still never admitted the change in his feelings to you, but you didn’t need a concrete answer when his actions spoke louder. You lived for the new conversations that now occurred as a result of Zandy, like when he tells you about the time they spent together.

“I’ve heard that you’ve started teaching Zandy more now, Dottore.” (Trying to steal your role as a teacher again, huh?)

“Indeed. We have moved on to quantum physics as well as-” He continued to list off topics you definitely did not study as a child.

“How… enriching, I’m sure.” Perhaps you should start crashing the lessons to make sure he doesn’t overload the poor kid’s brain too much…

Or when you hear about how much they both care for you.

“[Name]?”

“Yes, Dottore?”

“How have you been feeling as of late?” His hands crept up around your neck, brushing his fingers along your collarbones.

“Fine. The same as always,” you responded, which was sort of a truth and lie. You were technically fine, but there had been more days lately that had been a slog to get through with your illness and all. You didn’t want to admit that though. Dottore dragged his fingers along your shoulders in response.

“That’s a lie.” Your face heated up a bit from the proximity.

“That’s not-”

“Zandy,” he began, the name still a bit foreign on his tongue, “told me you’ve barely been sleeping as late. And the tiredness makes it difficult for you to move around. Why didn’t you tell me?” You slumped a bit in your seat at the discovery. You didn’t think the child would know that much less tell Dottore.

“How did he know?”

“He can hear you rustling around in the bed all night,” your husband said flatly as you sighed.

“I’m sorry, love…”

“Next time, I would prefer to hear my spouse’s troubles from their lips rather than someone else. Now come here.”

Or the simpler silly conversations.

“Why did you name him that?” He said one day while lounging on your lap. It was one of those days when it was necessary for him to rant to you about everything and anything.

“Name who what?”

“... Zandy.” Hearing Dottore get used to the name was still amusing to you.

“Why not? There’s a reason why all the segments like their names now, you know. It’s cute, it fits him, he likes it, and it’s way better than what you did,” you teased. Dottore grumbled.

“I still believe there were better options.”

“Yes, yes, says the one who names every experiment with a few letters and numbers. Now continue telling me about Pantalone’s audacity.” 

You were happy. Zandy was happy. And you were pretty sure Dottore was happy too. Even through the toughest days, you knew that you had them, and that made things better. You believed nothing in the world would change that or take that away from you.

So when you heard that some of the segments were heading to Sumeru, you weren’t too worried. It was just another mission for them, and although the importance of this one was much higher, you had no doubt the segments would handle it with ease. The lab was emptier than normal, but at least that gave you more time to play with him. 

“[Name], why do we go and collect Gnoses?” Zandy was still unaware of quite a few things, as others were unwilling to explain the details of them.

“So that we can fight Celestia,” you hummed as you turned the page of the book. Currently, you two were reading a rather interesting fantasy story, and the two of you had gotten up to the most crucial part - whether the protagonist would choose to further his ambitions or save the one he cherished.

“Why do we need to fight them?”

“Because they’re bad people,” you said as simply as possible.

“When are we going to fight them?”

“I don’t know, but one day we will.”

“Is it going to be scary?”

“Yes, it will. But I will protect you, from now until the end of time, so there’s no need to worry.”

“Okay,” Zandy said, but he still looked a bit sad, naturally. You softly stroked his fluffy hair.

“Don’t dwell on it. You still have lots and lots of happy memories to make,” you soothed him and kissed his forehead. “Nothing bad will happen to you.”

“Thanks, [Name],” he cuddled more into your side as you continued to read the story aloud to him.

The days passed as they always did. Tests. Checkups. The bickering of segments. Dottore popped up here and there, still busy with the Sumeru mission even though he remained at the lab. As always, Zandy remained a constant in your life when everyone else was too busy for you, so you were happy.

It had happened in the middle of a nap when you were shaken awake furiously. When you regained consciousness, you first registered your body being tossed from side to side, and then the blinding light from above. Ugh. What time was it, you wondered, because your mind next processed the desperate voice next to you.

“[Name]! [Name], please, please wake up. Please, he’s going to-” The sheer fright in his voice was enough to jolt you back to reality. You quickly rubbed your eyes and pulled yourself up to face the boy. You wondered what could have happened for Zandy to be this frantic, but the look on his face made your throat close up.

Bright red eyes on the verge of tears, flushed face, quivering lip, and shaking body. A terrible feeling rested in the pit of your stomach as you were speechless for a moment before Zandy grabbed your hands again, begging you to say something.

“Zandy, s-slow down. Start from the beginning. What’s wrong? Who is going to do what?” You placed your hands on his shoulders, pulling him closer in an attempt to calm him. It didn’t seem to do much.

“Omega, Omega’s going to delete me for-”

“What?!” Your voice came out as a shriek. “Tell him no! Tell him I said to stop! I- come with me!” You had already begun to pull him out of bed and out the door, looking like a mess but that wasn’t a worry at all, not right now. Zandy followed you aimlessly, sniffling and sputtering out words.

“B-But not just me, all the other segments are going to be e-erased too! Alpha, Beta, Delta-” You paused, deep fear instilling in your heart as you too began to breathe heavily. Still, you swooped down to Zandy’s height and hugged him, putting on a brave face.

“I won’t let it happen - you’ll be fine. We’ll just go to Prime, and then he’ll-”

“He approved it, though,” Zandy’s voice was tiny as he stared down at his feet as if he too was unwilling to believe he would be betrayed like this. You felt like you were going to be sick, heat rushing to your face, burning you alive.

“What?” Your voice was just as small as the child’s.

“Well, he’s not happy about it, but-” You gritted your teeth.

“I won’t accept it. You will not suffer such a fate, I pro-” You stopped when you heard footsteps approaching.

It was the person you wanted to see the least and most at the same time.

“Dottore,” your voice initially came out exhausted as you forced your shaky legs to stand up again, “Dottore, you best explain yourself right now,” you hissed, the malice now undeniable. “Tell me that this isn’t true.” Dottore opened his mouth to speak, but he seemed to realize that it would not be the answer you desired. The Harbinger’s eyes landed on his child self, who now clung to your leg in fear. Zandy looked at him in a way he hadn’t seen in a long time. Dottore ignored all emotions and focused on his logic.

“It’s neces-”

“Don’t you dare say that!” You interrupted him, hopefully before the child could hear his own creator (or perhaps, father) say he was dispensable. “That’s not true, you know it’s not-” Your words were interrupted by Zandy clutching his head and squeezing your leg deathly tight, the thoughts of the other segments reaching an all-time loud high.

“It’s happening… O-Omega’s going to do it,” the child had broken into full tears as he listened to the others vehemently deny Omega’s decision. He then frantically clawed at your leg, reaching for your hand for some sort of comfort.

“[Name], I don’t want to go! I don’t want to leave you! I don’t want to…” The one in the beginning of his life, the picture of innocence, dared to take one last look at the one in the prime of his life, who he couldn’t recognize anymore. The last word died on his lips. Your heart wrenched and pounded painfully as you looked away to beg Dottore again.

“Dot- Zandik, do something. Please, please stop Omega. I won’t ask for anything else ever again. Y-You can’t take him away from me…! Please!”

And then you felt your hand become empty, and your leg become cold. Bile began to bubble in your throat. You felt like you were going to throw up, wondering if you should dare look back down. 

You did anyway.

There was just empty space, Zandy nowhere to be found. Not even his clothes, not a single thing left of him. He had disap- no, he was dead.

Zandy was dead.

Your child was dead.

Your mind was very loud, despite not thinking about anything at all. Your hand twitched, trying to grasp the warmth that was there just a few moments ago. You tried to pretend there was the sensation of him holding you again.

Unfortunately, imagination can’t replicate reality.

You don’t even realize how close Dottore had gotten to you, eyes still frozen on the spot where Zandy just was.

“[Name].” His voice brings you back, but not for a good reason. You blink as you mechanically turn your head to face him. You don’t understand why he isn’t bothered. You don’t understand why he did this. You don’t understand anything. And then your face, which was as still as a statue, suddenly became enveloped in grief and tears. Your husband slightly grimaced at your expression.

“[Name],” he tried again, “I-”

“Don’t you dare speak to me like that, in that tone of voice,” you snapped amidst your continuous tears. “Do you have any idea what you’ve just done to them? To me? To us?” You weren’t sure which you would prefer - that he wasn’t sure about how much this would pain you, or that he did know but went ahead with it anyway. And it wasn’t just you, now that Zandy was gone… he would never be able to make peace with what he was.

“My last words to Zandy were a lie,” you cried. “A lie! I didn’t even tell him that I cared for him, how much I cherished him, how I loved the time I spent with him, how much I loved him!”

“Did any of the time we three spent together mean anything? Did he mean anything to you, Zandik? Or was it just a lie?” You relentlessly spat at him, refusing to let him get in a word. “You just used him and the other segments as bargaining chips. Pawns. They weren’t tools… my child wasn’t expendable, he was a person too,” you sank to the floor, your whole body trembling and immensely fatigued, but your mouth kept moving, wrapped in your incoherent grief. “I thought we could-, no, we were a family… Was I the only one who cared?”

Dottore could only watch as you broke apart in front of him. What could he have said to extinguish your tears? That he didn’t quite want to do this either, but he had to? Regardless of the newly acquired feelings about his segment, nothing… nothing could come in the way of what he had to do.

“Would you do the same to me, Zandik? Would you trade me for a Gnosis, too…?” Dottore stiffened at the question. It was never something he’d thought you’d say, considering how foolish it was. Him? Give you up? No, he would never. Never. He would sooner let all of Teyvat burn but-

“He was just a kid,” you sobbed. “He was just a little boy. How could you? You… you…!” Dottore could feel your sheer rage and sadness easily, his hands wanting to reach out and offer you some sort of comfort.

But he was a monster, and he knew it.

[akutasoda]

Hey! Hope you're doing well, I was maybe thinking could you do something angsty with genshin chars of your choice, like them finding out your part of an organisation that they are against and they find out during a fight? Like their part of the fatui or smth?

(I love you're angst writings sm)

Also can I be 🦭 anon?

not you, not here

synopsis - you never told your lover what you do for a living, maybe you should of

includes - diluc, neuvillette, dottore, arlecchino

warnings - gn!reader, fluff to angst, no comfort, wc - 1.7k

a/n: ofc you can be 🦭 anon, and im doing well! hope your doing well aswell! sorry this took so long.

diluc ragnvindr ★↷

- reader is a fatui harbringer

you had met diluc by accident. your mission was to infiltrate mondstadt, a spy on the inside. and it just so happened that you ran into diluc. seeing this as an opportunity to maybe find something out, you took to befriending him.

however as luck would have it, you started forming a genuine bond with diluc. whenever you were with him you forgot about your mission, you two spent more time around each other than the other would admit. and not too long after your friendship started a longing for more started to bloom aswell.

eventually one of you built up the confidence to confess, and you knew it was wrong. you knew you shouldn't build a connection to anyone in mondstadt but here you were in a very loving relationship with diluc. so to try and preserve this you never informed him of your true occupation. if he ever asked you would make up something about how you used to be a traveller who wants to settle down in mondstadt.

but maybe it was best if you told him. or maybe you shouldn't of built a strong relationship, if your fellow fatui members found out you knew it would be used against you. but you couldn't help but keep up the lie in turn for somd of the happiest moments of your life.

however as your mission had closed in and came to an end. you and la signora had done what was meant to be done but upon your final exit you had originally planned just to leave unannounced to your lover. you wouldn't bare to see his face and you couldn't bare to tell him the truth. but like the archon's were laughing down at you, you saw him. and he saw you.

cladded in fatui uniform with subordinates behind you. the pain that went straight through his heart as he saw you. how could he be so oblivious. he had let himself finally trust someone just for it to be thrown back at him in the cruelest way possible. the fatui had destroyed his family once and now twice. as much as it pained him and you but there was only one option left.

neuvillette ★↷

- reader is a fatui harbringer

you had merely stopped in fontaine to rest before your long trip back to snezy. risking yes but it was the nearest nation to your last mission elsewhere. but just as luck would have it you had met neuvillette when you got lost.

you knew who he was but he seemed like he had no clue who you where. so you took your luck and asked him for directions to your accommodation for the night. and he told you but before you thanked him and left he offered to walk you there. you wanted to decline but you figured there wasn't much risk to it, so you accepted his proposal.

the walk over was mainly silent with brief conversations, but the one that caught you offguard was when he asked about where you came from. you understood why, your clothes didn't scream fontaine and he simply said he had never seen you ariund before. but you quickly responded that you were a simple traveller who wandered tevyat. he seemed content with that answer.

you had left the next morning. but not too long after you had to head back for some business back in fontaine, it would be a long trip possibly staying for a couple of months but you didn't mind as you were mearly keeping eye until arlecchino would arrive. but soon you had yet again ran into neuvillette. he seemed to recognise you from the previous encounter, and seeing as he was a pretty important figure and knew the hydro archon, you figured it would be beneficial to get even closer to him.

you often hung around him when he was off duty of you were bored. eventually you had let yourself believe that this was a genuine friendship and not your job, and little did you know he felt the same. and eventually with somd push from the melunises, neuvillette confessed. you knew you should've said no but before you thought rationally you said yes.

but with arlecchino's arrival you had to bid farewell. it was one thing to break up with him but it was another to let him find out your true occupation. but unfortunately luck was not with you. upon meeting with arlecchino and some of your subordinated you had informed them you would leave soon but had something to take care of and as arlecchino left you turned around to your lover rounding the corner.

he had never anticipated this. how could he of been so naïve. you, the person that had brought him head over heels in love was nothing but a fatui member. he should've stopped you from running from him, he should of for justice but he still harboured feelings and let you get away. rain poured easily for weeks in fontaine.

dottore ★↷

- reader is a knights of favonious

your first encounter with dottore was not when he was known as dottore. it was in his akadyemia days as zandik. you too were a student at the akadyemia, although you weren't really interested in it you gave had given it a go and were doing well.

you met zandik when you two had been put on a assignment as partners. he first had no interest in working with you and figured he would just do it himself but after your persistence to help he begrudgingly let you help. turns out you weren't as useless as he first thought. for the assignment there was a more physical aspect to it than he would've preferred and figured he could just load it onto you. ot was rather dangerous but he didn't care if you got hurt.

so he sent you off in hopes that he could finish the rest of it and be rid of working with you. but you returned quicker than expected and had been more successful than needed. okay so maybe you peaked his interest just a little bit and how capable you could actually be but he still didn't care that much. so why was he seeking you out for another assignment partner? he would say it's just because, again, a bit more physical than he would like.

and eventually you worked your way into zandik's heart. and as much as he tried to deny those feelings, his reasonable side of him wouldn't let him. and too much surprise you had asked him out the next day, the day he was planning to confess. he was lost for words that you actually liked him back. and to much much surprise you two became official.

but his more unlawful practices in the medical field had chased him out of the akadyemia. however you still supported him as his lover but this just meant you hadn't heard from him in a long while. that was until he had reached out in the form of a letter. and thats how you stayed in contact. until your days at the akadeymia had come to an end and you wanted to return to your hometown to do a job that interested you. but you had made a detour to meet with him for the first time in ages.

dottore, as your partner, supported your decision and you two stayed in contact through letters. and sometimes if your work allowed, you would spend your holiday's with dottore as the only bonding time you two truly had. he never knew or questioned your choice of work as as long as you were fine, that's all he cared about. and you had no clue about his apart from he was a doctor. but maybe he should've asked.

it was fittingly quite a rainy day when the fatui had managed to storm mondstadt yet again. it has been a while since the last attempt. but you had to be up front with your fellow knights of favonius, especially as you were a quite high ranking knight due to your skill. and that's when you saw him. your lover staring right back at you from across the battle. but you had a job to do and so did he.

arlecchino ★↷

- reader is a coworker of neuvillette

meeting arlecchino was by pure coincidence. you had merely heard of an orphanage named house of the hearth and decided to visit and possibly find a way to help it wether through donations or simply helping around. but upon your visit you had met her.

she initially thought nothing of you. but after seeing you a couple of times, you started striking up a conversation with her, you two did have some interests in common. and soon she found herself talking to you upon your visits. she never let you know of the darker secrets that lay beneath the orphanage as she figured that was none of your business.

she had a brief idea that you were someoneof high status in fontaine but never pried into even as your casual conversation turned into a friendship and eventually something more. the entire time you had no clue about her occupation as a fatui member as you figured she just ran the orphanage.

you two, upon your new found relationship, had started hanging out outside of if the orphanage often just quality time around each other. but eventually you told her that you had something big coming up and you would be in fontaine for a while, she didn't pry and knew she was also headed to fontaine soon so maybe she could surprise you with a visit.

but what she didn't know was that the important thing you had coming up was a series of serious trials among the court walls. you had a very important role with helping both neuvillette and furina in court. apparently one of the trials was with a man named 'childe'.

and unfortunately you had been informed of some less than welcome visitors near fontaine, so during down time during your trials you had ran to figure out what was happening. and as if the archons where laughing at you you found arlecchino. but not your arlecchino, the fatui harbringer arlecchino.

as you stared at her, you wanted to just curl up and never remember this day. but sadly she was here for a mission. her surprise visiting was more of a surprise than she had planned. and unfortunately you both had jobs to do.

[foozle-woesies]

Lowkey like, what's your take on Dottore's partner dying while he's attempting to treat them. Like this is his thing but he still fails when it really matters to him. Give me your THOUGHTS give me your SORROWS

💉Dottore tries his best to save you.💉

Dottore x GN! Reader headcanons! Dottore is a softie in this one.

Warnings: terminal illness, you literally die, loss of spouse, grief.

Also, while these are headcanons about Dottore and the reader, I’m slightly basing it on my own oc who’s married to Dottore. They went through this. He had bone cancer, so this is kind of implied, but it can be any disease you want… if you want to be that specific.

When Dottore learns that you are sick, not a worry will pass through his mind. He’s the doctor after all, he’s completed all sorts of impossible tasks, and found cures for many mysterious diseases.

He begins to find symptoms he’s never seen before. Again, he’s not worried. He’s dealt with these situations before. With you, though, he doesn’t experiment recklessly. He only does operations/administers medicines he knows will work, and if he tries anything new, he makes sure it’s safe beforehand. You’re special to him, after all.

Weeks, months, years pass… none of it works. The growths grow bigger. Your movement is getting more and more restricted. Your appetite is gone, and your features are sunken in. You lack the energy you once had. He tries to keep making conversation with you, but your responses are minimal- you just don’t have the energy. He knows that. But he just likes to keep talking to you.

At first, Dottore is in denial. “No, you cannot be dying. This is not incurable. There is a fix to this.”. Deep down, he knows this is not true.

After a while, he becomes purely angry. For a short amount of time, he’s angry at you- why the hell are you such a difficult patient? He quickly accepts that it isn’t your fault. He can’t stand to be angry at you in your current state. The anger turns into self-hatred. Why couldn’t he cure you? Why didn’t he catch onto these symptoms sooner?

In your last few days, Dottore is glued to your side. He’s constantly holding your hand, patting your head, rubbing whatever part of you is sore in an attempt to comfort you… he’s doing everything he can for you. He doesn’t let the clones near you, either. You’re his to take care of.

He feels like he’s totally and absolutely failed you. He can’t think of a reason why you’d still love him- he couldn’t fix your issues. Why should you care about him if he was useless? Nonetheless, he’s happy you still want him near you.

Once you’re gone, Dottore becomes numb. He never sees the other harbingers anymore, he lets the clones do every bit of work. When he does have to do stuff, or attend meetings, he half-asses everything he does.

Half of this is guilt. He cannot believe he couldn’t save you in time. Bringing you back as a zombie would just be unethical, something Dottore isn’t concerned about usually… but he cares so much about you, and knows you wouldn’t want that. He feels like a failure in both a work and personal sense.

The other half is grief. He misses you so, so much. He didn’t realize how much he took your presence for granted. Being able to come home to you, your questions about his work, the way he’d hold you… he misses it all. He’s bored with life now. Dottore has lost interest in doing anything but reminiscing.