#Genna So Your Gelding Dagger Is Sat Properly In Case Boys Get Fresh Right? Lannister

[indricuddles]

So the first time I realized Game of Thrones was going to be very realistic wasn’t when Ned lost his head, but the first time Robert backhands Cersei on screen. I laughed, asked myself why I was laughing (possibly aloud), realized I was in actual f***ing shock, wrapped a comforter around my shoulders, heard something about “I’ll wear it with pride” and said “Well, this is not going to go the way they think” and therefore was barely shocked at Ned’s beheading at all. Very historic has HBO. Anyway I remembered this because I’m in the GoT/ASoIaF fandoms and I’m trying to figure out what House and/or body — and time period— to place my Obligatory Self-Insert (or rather OC Insert) and I noped right out of the Baratheons and anyone who might be Valyrian enough to be a Targ Bride. So far I’m thinking of Brandon the Burner Gets a New Mom. Also came up with a whole different fic about Aerys getting hypersexual and almost timid around women after Duskendale instead of furious at the gender and therefore abusive but Rhaella soothes it by being Mostly Doormat and now they have not just Rhaegar but a bunch of kids. Aerys is, of course, still a lunatic, and so punishes a young daughter for trying her hand at archery (and being better than one of her brothers) with an Out-Marriage and punishes his Hand at the same time (for marrying Joanna and getting ideas above his station) by giving him a be careful what you wish for betrothal between the wild daughter and Tyrion (Jaime is already Kingsguard). Meanwhile politics is happening. To be triple sure the Targs get this right the Gods make sure the girl is named Shiyona (Death to the Night) instead of Shiara (Death of Kings) and Aerys nearly f***s it up anyway lol. Rhaella Appeasement Targaryen is the real hero here.

If someone wants to write that as The Princess Who Was Promised (Quite Literally So), I can throw it at you to do your own take or we can collab here, ao3, or Google Docs.