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andy-wm · 5 months ago

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I have thoughts on Jimin's SGMB

It's the gayest thing I've ever seen.

And by that I mean it's joyous, light-hearted, bright, and fun.

We can all agree, I think, that this is a happy and totally harmless song. Who could criticise Jimin for declaring his love in such a sweet and innocent way?

Of course not everyone will like it, and that's fine. You don't have to like everything he does - or everything BTS does - you are an individual with thoughts and feelings of your own - I hope. But putting that aside you'd have to be a troubled person indeed to take offence at anything here.

So, it is definitely a fan song, right? Jimin is singing to his fans... isn't he?

Maybe.

But if it is (I and I'm not convinced) it's not just a fan song.

It's sweet, so sweet, but....

Maybe it's a little too sweet?

We know Jimin is CUTIE SEXY LOVELY and LOVELY LOVELY LOVELY, but let's be honest, he's also a grown man. And Army are not children (mostly). In fact we have had many many conversations about how ARMY are not children.

But this whole production is pushing the sweet and innocent barrow so hard that I can't help wanting to look underneath and behind and inside to see what's really going on because it's so sweet it's hurting my teeth.

Compare the sophistication and self awareness of FACE to the bouncy, bright and child-like song-and-dance in the SGMB music video. They are WORLDS apart and we were told very specifically that the albums were linked.

"Following his first solo album, “FACE,” where he sought to explore his true identity, “MUSE” documents his journey in search of the source of his inspiration." said the Weverse notification.

So what's really going on here?

What are you doing Jiminie?

And more importantly, why are you doing it?

You could call it a pageant, or a carnival, or a circus - with Jimin as the ringmaster.

But my view is:

This a pantomime. And it's very clever.

According to the Oxford Dictionary, a pantomime is "A dramatic entertainment, originating in Roman mime, in which performers express meaning through gestures accompanied by music." Yes, that describes it.

Merriam-Webster tells us "[A pantomime] is an ancient Roman dramatic performance featuring a solo dancer and a narrative chorus" That also makes sense.

Oxford also specified that it's a modern BRITISH tradition. "a theatrical entertainment, mainly for children, which involves music, topical jokes, and slapstick comedy." It's a perfect fit.

The British link is already there - Jimin clearly told us he's influenced by The Beatles' Sergeant Peppers Album. There's also the styling of his suit. The stovepipe pants, narrow tie, and fitted jacket are very 1960s (and 1980s) British pop.

There's something old-school about a pantomime. It harks back to childhood, and to the nostalgia of holidays. And the styling of the MV is in keeping with that nostalgic feel too - from the Mountain scene with the vintage film title, to the intertitles - or title cards , to the circular frame of the opening scene.

But back to the Pantomime itself...

A quick google search told me the following are important elements of pantomime. And we have most, if not all of them in this production.

Gender role reversal - TICK

Slapstick comedy - TICK

Colourful costumes - TICK

Audience participation - TICK (the children ARE the audience)

Exaggerated facial expressions - TICK

Take another look at the music video - it's all there.

Wikipedia tells us that pantomimes traditional told fairy tales or folk tales - often love stories - and that the primary role in a Pantomime was:

The 'Principal boy', a hero or charismatic rogue, traditionally played by a young woman in men's clothing.

Smart, very smart. With all the other conversations we've been having a round gender this is totally on the money.

Wikipedia goes on to say "Another pantomime tradition is to engage celebrity guest stars... Contemporary pantomime productions are often adapted to allow the star to showcase their well-known act.... If the star enters into the spirit of the entertainment, he or she likely adds to its overall effect"

Welcome, Loco.

(yes, I know collabs are de rigueur, but that doesn't change the fact that it fits - celeb guests are an established practice in Panto.)

So if this IS a Pantomime (and I'm not saying it definitely is but it looks like one to me), then it's intended to be a sung-story, told as much through dance and gestures as through words.

If it's a pantomime, what is it about?

I'm glad you asked! This little charade is the story of a young person called Jimin who is looking for love. He finds romance easily enough...

but real love takes a little longer.

Fortunately for our hero, he's brave (he will confess to his lover) and he is patient (he encourages them to do so too).

In between, there are shenanigans and goofing...

But our Charismatic Rogue is charming (if devilish) and wins the hearts of the audience - and his lover.

Let's take a closer look at how the story unfolds...

At the start of the MV, as the initial credits appear, Jimin is on stage vibing with his band. Loco is chilling on a rock like a lizard in the sun.

We get the ye olde intertitles, welcoming the audience and introducing.... SMERALDO Garden Marching Band

It's not Smeraldo Garden - Marching Band. It's Smeraldo *pause* Garden Marching Band. Smeraldo (secrets) has the emphasis.

After the intertitles, the scene opens on a group of children - they are ostensibly the audience of the band. They're playing paper-scissors-rock to see who will call for Jimin's attention.

The children run over to him and the tale begins.

Jimin, the main character of this story, immediately launches into song.

He starts off singing about Bangtan - mentioning their harmony (song and personal I think), he shows the Bangtan hand gesture we all know so well, and he sings "we gift happiness every day".

But he mentions June 12th.

Why June 12th?

Why not 13th, their debut day?

BECAUSE THIS IS NOT A SONG for ARMY. He's making it clear that at this point he's referring to Bangtan specifically, not the whole juggernaut of the fandom and fame. June 12th precedes ARMY.

He's made it clear from the start - this is NOT ABOUT ARMY.

Then he leans in and whispers to the children - and the camera -"lets talk about us".

Look at the kids' faces - they're miming shock. Ooooohhh! This is a big secret he's about to tell them - and us.

Look at Jimin's expression - he's just a tad smug. This is not a shocking secret to him, this is a fun secret.

Yes, he is indeed the charismatic rogue of this story.

He sings:

"All the things we couldn't say before

And your hidden feelings too (just for you)

Don't you worry anymore

Since we're together now**

Let's be a little more honest."

So it seems our main character has a LOVER. Someone who couldn't be revealed and who hid their feelings.

<Wow, I have no idea who this could be...>

Hang on, what's happening in the MV??

On his journey, it seems our young hero has a few short-lived romances. And if you look carefully, they are all with men.

He accepts the rose from a man, and plants himself on the bench right up close to .... a man. He jumps up unperturbed, and gifts the rose to (you guessed it) another man.

Jimin manages to sidestep (or completely ignore) all the women except one, who he sends graciously into the arms of a random man before continuing on his journey.

Wait one moment... his romantic partners were ALL MEN??

ALL MEN??

ALL MEN?!!!!!

Yes darling, all men. Let's continue.

So, it seems none of Jimin's previous romances grew into anything more, but he takes his own advice with his mysterious lover and confesses first.

He smirks. He flicks his jacket with pizzazz. He's ready.

He sings:

"Ooooh I love you babe,

I'll come closer to you

I want to hold your hand,

I want you babe (yessir)

Please note the hand gesture in this choreo - it's another one we've seen many times.

The dance ends and Jimin scans the surroundings and spots his old friend...

[Enter stage left: Loco]

Oh look, the friend is a rapper a few years older than Jimin. They seem to have a lot of fun together, Jimin and his rapper friend. There are ZERO romantic overtones here. This guy happily goes along with all the goofing and silliness even though he looks a tiny bit mortified. Either they are both very good actors, or a lot of the time, Loco was holding in his laughter. And Jimin seems incredibly amused by that.

They hang out together until.... something in the atmosphere changes:

The colours become richer, light become warmer, and oh look....

It's *The Golden Hour*

I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP, PEOPLE. HE REALLY DID THIS.

Jimin leaves Loco, chasing the golden light as he sings about "the dazzling sky." Golden confetti (champagne, anyone?) falls all around him and then ...

fucking sunflowers bloom.

SUN FLOWERS.

BLOOM.

FOR HIM.

SUNflowers...

Remind me again what sunflowers are known for? Oh yes, they are symbolic of the sun. Guess what else? They turn to face the sun.

Yup, the sunflowers all turn their faces toward the camera. I'm not crazy, okay?! I'm not.

SMH... let's move on.

Jimin re-joins his band, and the sunflowers do their sunflower thing, and Jimin sings:

"So tell me how you feel,

let whatever you feel

wash over you"

Then he sings

"I love you babe, (yessir)

I'll come closer to you

I want to hold your hand,

I want you babe (yessir)

Please note the hand gesture again

👉 👈

The bridge is next, and Jimin takes us back to Bangtan. As all the stars appear (that ocean of purple light that surrounds them at concerts) and everyone takes their place on stage, they turn up the music. <Are my eyes watering? Perhaps>

"I think we're ready now

Lets begin 1, 2

Put your hands up"

*cute wiggle-dance commences* and Jimin spots his good friend the rapper again, hiding on the sidelines. He pulls him into the chorus line and they do more silliness and everyone is having a great time.

Confetti- flower petals fall, there's laughter and happiness all around, and they bow and bid us good bye.

The show is over.

*THE END*

But wait, I am not done.

A few more things bear mentioning here:

I saw quite a few comments saying this song is for ARMY.

It is categorically NOT for ARMY. Besides the fact that we already have Closer Than This - a fan song - on this album, Jimin specifically chose a date before debut - before ARMY existed - to place in this song. No mention of ARMY at all. Accept it graciously, this is not for you.

I wanna hold your hand

This lyric is a reference not only to the Beatles song "I Want to Hold Your Hand", It's also a common theme with Jimin and Jungkook. We see them finding any feeble excuse to hold hands, shake hands, touch hands. Yes, we see you two...

I am you, You are me

The gesture used in the choreo when Jimin is singing his confession - I failed miserably to catch it in my screengrab but there's no doubt it's their "I am you, You are me" gesture. Take a look for yourself.

All Jimin's romantic moments happened with men.

I'm not saying in his life, I am saying in this MV. All of them. The only interaction he has with a woman is one brief moment where he grabs her wrist as she passes by and he swings her into the path of a guy behind him. He even scoots around the women and sidesteps them. That can't be accidental. He's making a point.

The addition of 'yessir' in the lyrics makes it clear that he's confessing to a man.

I cannot see any reasonable way to refute this. The BH subtitles include it even though you have to listen carefully to catch it. THAT IS A CHOICE, NOT AN ACCIDENT.

"Even though we're together now"

These lyrics could mean theyre an established, committed couple. But if we think a little broader than that, and a little more literally, who is he together with right now?

It's strategically brilliant.

This is his 'tell all expose' but he has built in a rock solid escape clause by using the panto format. Staging the whole love story - including the prior boyfriends and the man he's now in love with - as an over the top comedy show makes it easily dismissible as pure fiction. By including the fantasy/magical elements he just makes it more so. Deniers will be able to come up with a dozen reasons to reject this... 'It's a fantasy story', 'not all songs are autobiographical', 'he's making a point', 'he's raising LGBTQIA+ awareness'... all true maybe, but that doesn't change the fact that this is HIS song, about HIS muse. If you've been paying attention (and even if you haven't) you will know this is certainly not pure fiction.

AND FINALLY....

The most important one, I left till last. I actually want to scream this, in all caps, in the biggest font possible. But I will restrain myself.

The song is bookended by references to BTS.

That is hugely important. For those who may not be aware, this is a literary device. Bookending a story provides a start and end reference point. Here, the Bangtan bookends provide context for the rest of the lyrics - they frame the lyrics within them. That means the events happening in the song, happen within the context of Bangtan. Reading between the lines, the person he is singing to/about is within Bangtan.

This is not reaching. This is like mixing blue paint and yellow paint together. You will get green paint.

💛+💙=💚

So yes, this song is the gayest thing I've ever seen.

And I DO mean it's joyous, light-hearted, bright, and fun.

But yes, it's also absolutely and totally really really GAY

🏳️‍🌈🐥🦄🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌻🐰☀️🏳️‍🌈

Thank you Jiminie

#park jimin #jeon jungguk #jikook #kookmin #국민 #true love #jungkook #bts jimin #jimin comeback #jimin sgmb #smeraldo garden marching band

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stainedglassthreads · 1 year ago

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I feel like the four leads of Deltarune--Kris, Susie, Ralsei, and Noelle-are just. Somehow two different levels of queer-coded.

(Edit: Just to be clear: not saying any of this to disparage or insult shippers of Kralsei, Suselle, or Kriselle, I've just seen a lot of cool analysis about tropes, romance, and lack of choice in Deltarune and wanted to chime in with some of my own thoughts. If you ship any of those ships in Deltarune--fantastic! May you find a lot of content precisely to your taste.)

Like. On the one hand, if you're looking at tropes, they are very neatly set up into two romantic partnerships. Noelle is very blatantly interested in Susie, and Ralsei's feelings for Kris are often portrayed similarly. On a surface level, both pairings appear very clear. Noelle is a girl in love with another girl, while Ralsei is a very effeminate boy in love with a teen who doesn't appear to use pronouns. And a big deal isn't made of either pairing, there's nothing really in the way of Suselle or Kralsei on a societal level we've encountered so far. At least in terms of gender and sexuality. But if you look a little closer, it's kind of...'these are a very straight idea of queer ships', y'know?

Noelle and Susie are both girls, but one is very effeminately coded, anxious, uses magic, and is more traditionally cute, while they other is crass, crude, intimidating, and physically strong. Ralsei and Kris are gender-noncomforming, but Ralsei is a sweet pacifistic healer who bakes cakes while Kris uses a sword, and keeps being mistaken for a boy by much of Youtube and Reddit. The active one and the passive one, the fighter and the mage, the one with cute hobbies and the one who eats moss, the one in pants and the one in a dress.

And here, I start thinking of some posts I've seen analyzing how, in Deltarune, romance is used to explore how Kris doesn't really get choices. Kris has been cast as the leader and knight, and Ralsei has been cast as the healer and Princess, even if he is a boy. The leader often ends up with the healer. The knight often gets the princess as a happy ending. But Kris doesn't seem to like this! Their reactions to Ralsei are constantly lukewarm at best, and that's not getting into how Ralsei seems to be in love with his idea of Kris, while being very. Asriel-coded, who the game describes often as Kris' brother, in sharp contrast to how ambiguous Chara and Frisk's relationships with the Dreemurrs were.

If we and Kris reject Ralsei as a love interest, we can a different romantic partner in Noelle...but this choice has a bodycount, traumatizes Noelle, doesn't seem to leave Kris any happier, and it's still a kind of straight-coded ship. Now it's the knight being paired up with the apocalypse maiden, for the doomed codepedent toxic tragedy lovers out there. But it kinda makes sense too, right? If Kralsei is the expected RPG romance, then Kriselle would be the expected romance if there were no Dark World and Ralsei weren't an option. They're childhood friends and neighbors in a small town, their families used to be very close, Rudy is still very fond of Kris. They're even extremely angel/devil coded.

But the most interesting part is. It's implied that there IS someone that Kris is very interested in, either platonically or romantically. It's Susie. Kris never seems frightened by Susie when they're bullied by her, and rejects Noelle's offers to switch seats. They seek comfort from Susie rather than Ralsei after the Spamton fight, they call her their friend when Toriel calls, they share moss with her, they refuse to think about her during Snowgrave when Ralsei prompts them, they make it clear that out of all the people they COULD go to the Carnival with, Susie is the one they'd ACTUALLY want to choose.

And this is the part that drives me crazy. Because while Kris is so tightly controlled by genre and narrative, and those things would usually push them towards Ralsei or Noelle, and Ralsei keeps encouraging Kris to stick to the narrative. Susie is the one who refuses to be bound to the narrative. Susie is the character of Deltarune who is most unapologetically herself--and isn't that a very queer thing, refusing to be anyone but yourself despite everything? She says no thanks to the prophecy, until she comes around to it on her own terms! She makes herself and Ralsei learn to take their own actions, and drags Ralsei off to have fun with him instead of letting Kris choose who to with! She doesn't stay in her box of the damage-dealing fighter, she insists on learning Healing magic, even if she's not particularly skilled at it at first! Even Ralsei is forced to admit that it's wonderful that Susie is Susie, and not anyone else!

I think Kris likes Susie a lot. And part of it may be admiration. That while Kris is controlled by the player and the narrative and the prophecy and humanity and divorce and a dozen things outside their control, Susie refuses to ever be bound by anything. And Kris and Susie together happen to be the two more masculinely-coded party members, the two melee fighters, the two troublemakers. It honestly makes me wonder a little if Susie and Kris might be able to make their own ending beyond the bounds of gender expectations and romance expectations together? It would be cool. And I think it would make Kris very happy to break free like that.

#deltarune #deltarune meta #deltarune analysis #deltarune theory #kris dreemurr #susie #noelle holiday #ralsei #kralsei #kriselle #krusie

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formywriyinglalala · 5 months ago

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Selected Excerpts from the Paper "On Gender Anxiety Among Female BL Readers" by Cheng Yanan

before any non-chinese person reads this... this is not talking about mlm fiction written by actual gay men, but rather mlm fiction written and read by straight women

1. The Weakening of the Uke's Image: Contradiction Between the Pursuit of Equality and Self-Denigration

"The character schema of seme and uke still replicates the binary gender roles of a patriarchal society."

"BL enthusiasts are caught in the contradiction of consciously pursuing gender equality while subconsciously denigrating themselves."

"Female characters are severely marginalized in most BL texts."

"The initial intention of female readers to pursue gender-neutral personal development by breaking gender stereotypes is compromised as BL fans collectively and unconsciously construct female characters under the male gaze, reinforcing patriarchal aesthetic constraints on women."

2. Female Characters: The Inescapable Gender Gaze

(BL novels) have not created new, realistic, and free gender images, nor have they made valuable breakthroughs in reshaping rigid gender characteristics in social culture. Female readers merely vent their negative emotions—such as the helplessness and resentment of being gazed at in real society—excessively in BL novels. However, they are unable to break away from the male gaze, resulting in the portrayal of stereotypical female roles within a patriarchal culture. This dichotomy of good versus evil, one-size-fits-all construction reveals the female readers' confusion and misjudgment of their own gender under the constraints of patriarchal thinking. The unbreakable patriarchal gender imagination acts like a glass ceiling, causing women to struggle between the male gaze and gazing at men."

3. The Paradox of Homosexual Physiology and Sexual Oppression: The Difficulty of Facing Sexual Desire

"BL readers, on one hand, pursue sexual liberation, and on the other, find it difficult to confront their own sexual desires directly. They resort to oppressive erotic content in BL texts to realize sexual fantasies and obtain sexual pleasure."

"Additionally, females striving to discard feudal chastity values in reality often reinforce them in BL texts."

"BL enthusiasts have yet to escape the patriarchal conditioning of female bodily desires, unconsciously reproducing the sexual oppression women face in society within the uke characters in novels."

4. Avoiding Conflict: Cathartic Release of Anxiety

"BL novels do not actively explore homosexuality as a social existence but rather provide a means for romantic fantasy."

"In the carnival of fantasy and daydreaming, female readers’ gender anxiety is temporarily relieved in a self-deceptive manner, achieving a fleeting reconciliation between their gender 'superego' and 'id.' However, their confusion does not lead to further exploration. BL literature opts to avoid facing social taboos and real-life challenges."

"Given the grim survival conditions for women in reality, the unique cultural background, the gap with Western feminism, the academic isolation of gender studies, and the misinterpretation of feminism in the media, female readers find it hard to believe in the possibility of overthrowing the existing gender order and ultimately achieving gender equality based on the fact that inherent biological differences are a reality. Moreover, in an era of individualism, the fading sense of elite feminist responsibility has led them, to some extent, to no longer wish to struggle for the common ideal of gender equality in traditional ways. Reading BL novels, as Beauvoir mentioned in 'The Second Sex,' becomes an easier measure for releasing gender fantasies and alleviating anxiety, compared to anxiously seeking a way out. Constructing same-sex love stories free of physiological differences proves to be a more straightforward approach."

#my chinese rf translations #anti fujoshi #radical feminism #radical feminists do interact #radblr

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enigmaticxbee · 2 years ago

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Casefiles - Fic Recs

Need just the right case to push you from UST to RST with your not so platonic work partner? Casefiles with slow burn MSR are my jam:

Early On:

Universal Invariants by @syntax6 - set over the course of a canon-parallel version of season 1 and early season 2 where Scully’s boyfriend Ethan who was cut from the pilot sticks around. One of my all time favorites.

Classic Era (or I don’t know when it’s set so I picture season 3):

This House Is Burning by Tesla - serial killer undercover case set at a ski resort.

Under Covers by skinfull- Scully goes undercover.

We’re Married Now by skinfull - married undercover with a cult.

Scary Stories by skinfull - investigating urban legends.

Homicidal Tendencies by Swikstr - crossover with Homicide: Life on the Street, but you don’t need to know that show. Scully/Other ending in MSR.

Cancer Arc Era:

The Common Fate of All Things Rare by @aloysiavirgata and Scarlet - post Never Again, filling in the blanks leading up to Momento Mori.

Omens by @lepus-arcticus - a cancer era classic.

On Untying the Endless Knot, and Other Improbable Things by secondsflat - post Demons, dealing with Mulder’s lingering flashbacks and tying back to the post lives from The Field Where I Died.

Gates of Hell by @alienqueequeg - post remission they work a cold case from Scully’s past.

Embers by @syntax6 - post remission as they explore a new relationship.

Laws of Motion by @syntax6 - sequel to Universal Invariants, set over the course of season 5.

More Than a Feeling by @sisterspooky1013 - undercover at a carnival with fake dating goodness.

You He Did Not Fail by extraordinary_ordinary - AU where Scully leaves the X-Files post-remission. Two years later their paths cross again on a case.

Post FTF:

Queen’s Gambit by Suzanne Schramm - early season 6 serial killer case.

Kinesthesia by Amy - early season 6 undercover at a fairground.

Quietus by Allison Johnson - early season 6 follow up to Paper Hearts.

Suspicious Minds by skinfull - undercover as a couple at a drug compound.

Lesser Evils by Hannah Mason - fun dramatic, tropey Scully is kidnapped, will Mulder save her in time?

Cold Cuts by Joann Humby - serial killer case.

No Earthly Means by Circe Invidiosa aka @invidiosa - season 6 follow up to Gender Bender.

March by bluesamutra - post Tithonus

Speechless by Anjou - post Tithonus

Heart’s Desire by @malibusunset-xf-blog - post Two Fathers/One Son. My favorite Scully/Other fic - ends in MSR, but it’s probably the only fic where I’ve thought that Mulder might be the wrong choice.

Overnight Sensation by @syntax6 - post Two Fathers/One Son case in Boston. A favorite.

Arizona Highways by Fialka - post Two Father/One Son, dealing with the discovery of more Emilys. A classic.

Ensky by ViXen - late season 6 serial killer case.

Lacuna by @aloysiavirgata - post Milagro, Scully/Other ending in MSR.

Amish Country by Lolabeegood - serial rapist case within an Amish case. Undercover married, a favorite.

Mind Games by Spider - featuring profiler!Mulder. Warning for very disturbing case details.

Margaritas by agoodwoman - post The Unnatural morning after.

Watching Wall by amerella - post The Sixth Extinction: Amor Fati

Petrichor by @aloysiavirgata - post The Sixth Extinction: Amor Fati

Damsels by @sisterspooky1013 - Scully goes undercover at a strip club.

Hallowed by @gaycrouton - married undercover in a cult.

Parabiosis by penumbra - set across season 7, an all time favorite.

Wing and Prayer by Revely - post En Ami, investigating a miracle.

Seeds of Synchronicity by mountainphile - follow up to Aubrey 6 years later.

Late Era:

Mobius by L.A. Ward - while Mulder is missing a missing scientist’s case leads Scully to Mulder in an unexpected way.

Gerber Daisies by DiscordantWords - set during the back half of season 8, case involving Charlie Scully.

If anyone has any IWTB or revival era casefile recs please let me know!

#xf fanfic #fic recs #casefiles

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 4 months ago

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So, I've been questioning myself, I thought I was pan/bi because my feelings toward other people were the same, like, "Everyone is pretty, but I feel no attraction for anyone so that prolly means am pan", I came out to my friends as pan, but talking to one of my friends I realized that maybe there's a difference between how I see people and how she sees people. (I also realized that I have never had a crush on someone at all)

Like, she sees someone attractive and thinks about them more sexually (?) Like, is not a joke, she feels like that. I thought those comments were jokes and I did them too! I feel weird, maybe I am in the ace spectrum, but I'm not sure because sometimes my body feels like, the need (idk?)

Sorry, I just needed to vent, I have none to talk about this, I feel like they don't understand

These definitely could be signs of being ace and/or aro. I've known more than a few people who thought they were pan first before realising they were ace/aro (reasonable deduction if you feel the same about every gender), or before figuring out they were ace thought that people were joking or exaggerating when talking about things like finding people hot or sexy.

Another common misconception is that aces aren't sexual at all, but actually aces can vary a lot in how sexual they are. Some aces do still have a sex drive, do feel arousal, do still masturbate, etc. So that alone doesn't exclude someone from identifying as ace or on the ace spectrum.

It sounds like this is something you've only just started to explore, so right now what would probably help you most is resources and being able to find other aces/aros talking about their experiences. For questioning if you're ace I always recommend The Asexuality Archive's website, especially the Ace 101 section. And Carnival of Aces , a monthly blogging for aces event by topic, is a great resource for finding aces talking directly about their experiences being asexual. But I'd also say anywhere you can find aces talking about being ace will probably be helpful for questioning.

If you want to explore aromanticism I'd recommend Arocalypse (a forum for aros) who also has a good FAQ, and Carnival of Aros (similar to Carnival of Aces, but for Aros.)

You can also check out the FAQ for this blog for some basics.

So this might feel like a lot all at once, don't feel like you have to read through all of this, or tackle everything all at once. Start with what's interesting or what you feel would be helpful. Also feel free to start with just ace stuff or just aro stuff if that feels easier for you.

Sometimes when you question things click into place and you know right away, other times it can be a process of exploring and figuring out what label fits you best. So take however long you need and go at whatever pace fits you best.

If you have more questions either now or at some point down the road, feel free to send in another ask.

All the best, Anon! Good luck!

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usamamoweek · 1 year ago

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UsaMamo Week 2023 - Master Post

Thank you to everyone who participated, reblogged, commented, liked and gave kudos. Thank you to everyone who was a beta / cheerleader behind the scenes. This event turned out amazingly well and we are so happy to see both new faces and some old friends participate this year. (And don't forget about our "Meet the Creators" series, to learn a little more about people in this fandom)

To make sure none of the amazing works that have been created for this UsaMamo Week have been missed, we have compiled them all into this master post (in alphabetical order by the creator):

Stories:

@caelenath - UsaMamo Week 2023 - Day 4: Beach

The whole situation was any red-blooded man's dream—nine gorgeous women in swimwear, a dreamy sunset, and a legitimate excuse to ogle them from every angle.

But he had eyes for only one...

@daikon1 :

Moon Sake Bottle Action!

Somehow at a houseparty with Usagi, Mamoru feels totally out of his depth - until Minako suggests they liven things up a bit. But can an unusual talent for carnival games be leveraged into a kiss with his crush??

A Royal Audience

Once upon a time, there was an extremely self-centered mentor...

Ten Ways to Say 'I Love You'

A portrait of Usagi and Mamoru’s relationship over the years, told in letters, poems, and journal entries.

There Was Only One... Stowaway on the School Beach Trip

It was the perfect summer scheme... and then Mamoru had walked into the train compartment.

Mamoru's Anxiety: A Love Letter for Usagi!

Filling in a 'missing scene' from Usagi's Joy: A Love Letter From Tuxedo Mask - What does Mamoru think about Usagi receiving a love letter from his alter-ego?

Keyrings, and Chaos, and Gender Expectations, Oh My!

Galaxia may have been defeated, but the patriarchy is still alive and well. With some help from Sailor Moon, Mamoru has a few things to say about that!!

Fe(e)line

As Tsukino Usagi awoke one morning from pleasant dreams, she found herself transformed in her bed into an adorable kitty.

@goddessalthena :

Dear Mamo-chan

"I'll write. And I'll call," he promised. "So...I expect you to write me all the time."

"...I will," she vowed.

But only one of them kept their word.

Picture Perfect

It was a perfect day. Almost too good to be true.

Usagi & Mamoru share a few firsts as they bask in the first blush of young love.

@kaitoscarlett - The words I couldn't say

After their first night together, Usagi finds herself waking up alone in Mamoru's apartment. While waiting for him, she explores his book shelf and finds something, she probably shouldn't read.

@lilliebellfanfics :

Day 1: Kiss Game

Summary: Usagi and Mamoru are chosen as the next contestants in Minako's pop-up competitions. They expect something weird and zany like the previous ones... not a kissing game. Well, kissing or not, Usagi says bring it on.

Day 4: There was only one...

Usagi's investigating a series of energy bursts at Tokyo Dome City amusement park. With so many unknowns--what was the source of the energy? Was it Zoisite or a new enemy?--the last thing she wants to do is share a ride on the Ferris wheel with Mamoru.

Day 7: Midnight / Fireworks

"One thing I love about prompts is they get me writing for my WIPs! I bring you another scene from DFD, but this is much much later than the current arc. For reasons, Usagi ends up staying at Mamoru's place. Things get hot & steamy, and here's a scene from somewhere in the middle."

Day 5: Free Day

The Tsukino clan are about to hit the slopes as the next part of their winter competition. Usagi is a clear winner and she's excited to beat Shingo on the double black diamond and win points for her team... only Mamoru's never skied before. Shit.

(Also Christmas Markets and kissing)

@master-ray5 - Lips Of An Angel

Mamoru gets a call on his lunch break from his Ex in Japan.

@random-mailbox - Love Letter (Poem)

Poem inspired by the Stars arc in the Anime

@riverlethe - Game Night

Minako organizes (by throwing together at the very last minute) Game Night to help the senshi blow off some steam on a rare night off.

Rei picked a small red box up off the table. “‘Love Letter’?” she grimaced. “This is going to be a long night, isn’t it?”

@sailormoonandme - Year of the Rabbit. UsaMamo Week 2023

Unbeknownst to anyone else, Serenity and Endymion arrange a secret rendezvous on the beach. Manga Canon.

@speak-mnemosyne1 :

Trust

In a dark, cramped space with stifling air, something in the chemistry between two people transformed. The universe fell away and, in those seven minutes, actions had no consequences.

But this.. this felt more like Seven Minutes in Hell.

Magnolias

For the prince of Earth, there was only one girl in the entire Solar System with whom falling in love was forbidden..

Present

“Just for a year… but I may end up staying longer than that.” Mamoru tried to swallow back the words as they left his mouth. He hated lying to Usagi, hated the way her blue eyes looked up at him with oceans of love.

@spei-sidus :

Lucky Bunny

Day 1: Year of the Rabbit / Kiss Game

Forgiven

Sailor Moon is forgiven by Tuxedo Kamen for Serenity's final actions

An Ode to the Rose

Valentine's Day is coming up and the girls decide, since they weren't giving chocolates to anyone, to write love letters to give to their future boyfriends.

The Binoculars

A day at the beach leads Mamoru to ask Usagi out.

Free Day

Neo Queen Serenity goes back in time to go on a date with First Season Mamoru.

Like a Fairy

An injured Usagi leads the nijizuishou to not only replenish her energy, but also form the Ginzuishou.

Moonlight Musings

Some midnight musings for our roaming heroine.

@wishwars - Confessions Left Unsaid

At the end of Season 1, Episode 3 of the 90s anime, Usagi decides to write a love letter to Tuxedo Mask. What if Mamoru reads it?

Art:

@iiyasbssmdoodles - Day 6 - wings

@iamcharlotte88 - Three Levels of Kisses for Mamoru Chiba (artwork for @daikon1 Moon Sake Bottle Action! story)

@lilliebellfanfics - Day 2: Royalty, Day 3: Love Letters / Poetry

@mhanevision - Day 2 Royalty , Day 5 - Free Day "Barbenheimer" , Day 7 - Midnight (Happy Birthday Mamo-Chan , Day 1 - Year of the Rabbit (Happy Birthday Usako)

@mochibuni - Art for Epilogue (story Rocks in Space by @vchanny-og )

Images / Mood boards:

@random-mailbox - Day 1 - Year of the Rabbit , Day 1 - Kiss Game, Week Day 2 - Royalty, Day 2 - Sword, Day 3 - Love Letters / Poetry, Day 4 - Beach, Day 4 - There was only one..., Day 5 - Free Day , Day 6 - Wings , Day 6 - Crystal, Day 7 - Midnight, Day 7 - Fireworks

Podcasts:

@oshiokiyopod - UsaMamo Week 2023 Special Episode!

You can listen to the episode on Spotify, Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Cast, and Podchaser (links to show pages in the platform names).

#usamamoweek2023 #usagi x mamoru #usamamo #sailor moon #masterpost #sailor moon fanart #sailor moon fanfiction

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innocentcurse · 28 days ago

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Walking through the picturesque streets of Cardinal Hill, you find Floyd Cardozo the 28 year old taxidermist originally from REDACTED, Maine. Living alongside them in such a small town, you know that they're friendly and private, but what you might not know is that they are a human, and that they’re hiding something… ― Henry Zaga, bisexual, man, and he/him.

Basics -

Full name: Floyd Gaspar Cardozo

Nickname/s: None currently

Preferred name/s: Floyd

Gender: Man

Pronouns: He/him

Age: Twenty-eight

Birthday: January 1st

Zodiac: Capricorn

Magic status: Non-magical, a human

Sexuality: Bisexual

Relationship status: Single

Occupation: Taxidermist

Hometown: Unspecified, Maine.

Backstory -

Floyd Cardozo was born 28 years ago on a small island town in Maine, surrounded by the vibrant atmosphere of a family-run carnival.

His childhood was shaped by the unique lives of his parents: his father, a skilled ride operator and engineer, and his mother, a captivating oddities presenter.

Growing up in this lively environment, Floyd experienced countless adventures, helping his parents and exploring the carnival’s colorful attractions.

He was homeschooled in a way that encouraged hands-on learning and creativity, which allowed him to develop a passion for ride operations and engineering alongside his father.

At the age of five, he was diagnosed with a congenital disease, which brought significant challenges to his young life.

By 14, he became profoundly deaf, navigating this new reality with determination. He adapted through sign language and lip-reading, striving to maintain his active lifestyle despite the obstacles.

While he thrived in the carnival’s exhilarating atmosphere, he often found himself working more closely with his mother due to his hearing challenges, which strengthened their bond but sometimes left him longing for the dynamic ride operations.

At 20, tragedy struck when a catastrophic incident on a ride forced the family to close the carnival, leading to a devastating loss that shattered their way of life.

The aftermath saw them moving inland multiple times, searching for stability and trying to rebuild amidst uncertainty.

When he turned 24, an opportunity for cochlear implants emerged, presenting a chance for a brighter future but requiring substantial sacrifices from his parents.

This pivotal moment led them to relocate and move in with his grandmother in Cardinal Hill, Washington, where they hoped to find new beginnings.

Together, Floyd and his mother opened a small taxidermy business in town, merging their skills and interests, while his father took on work as a repairman, becoming a valued member of the community.

Now, at 28, Floyd is embracing his newfound hearing abilities, cherishing his close relationship with his parents, and diving into the creative pursuits that bring him joy and fulfillment.

Personality & more -

Floyd is deeply introspective, often reflecting on his life experiences and how they shape his perspective on the world. Unfortunately this can lead to a lot of overthinking in a way that isn't so great.

He has a strong sense of loyalty, prioritizing his family and friends and always being there to support them in times of need. He knows that he'd be capable of going off on his own, but he enjoys still being with his family.

Inquisitive by nature, Floyd enjoys asking questions and seeking out new experiences, whether through books, workshops, or conversations with others.

Floyd is patient and thoughtful, taking the time to listen and understand before responding, especially when communicating with others.

Highly observant, Floyd notices details that others might overlook, which enriches his artistic endeavors in taxidermy.

Floyd is reserved, often keeping his past experiences close to his heart, which makes it difficult for him to open up to others. He wants so badly to live his life to its full extent, but struggles letting others in. This is something he's actively working at getting better at.

He enjoys adventure and can be somewhat of a thrill seeker, though nowadays he tries to be more cautious.

He lives across the road from his parents, with his grandmother, who he helps to care for.

Floyd can often be easily overwhelmed with his cochlears in, and can often be found without them. He communicates best through lip reading, as it's what he's most practiced with.

#∘₊✶────── floyd cardozo ; intro #cardinalintro

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cookiecomics · 4 months ago

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Anonymous Coward asked: Hi! Loved that last chapter! Curious since Haru and Akechi were the main focus, do you have any thoughts on Haru/Akechi as a pairing? I find them so fascinating because I think in a different situation they might be close or at least very similar

*vibrating on a bed of a thousand suns* Wow, hello anon, thank u for this very cool question that won't at all send me into a ramble for the next 1000 words minimum :3 Anyways, mild spoilers for ATOTT Chapter 54. I have to start off my ramble by saying that I do think Goro is bisexual, specifically demiromantic bisexual (so both on the ace spectrum and flexible when it comes to gender sexuality) and so in my mind I have no problem shipping him with women and of all the women I do like to ship him with (Ann, Sumire, Kotone, Haru) it’s Haru/Goro pairing that I absolutely adore the *most* Freak4freak as I said. Haru has this air of pleasantry that is apart of her similar to Goro. Except Haru’s isn’t a mask, per se, it’s part of who she is. A sweet-tasting poison that people won’t expect until it’s too late. Just like Goro, Haru has a strong sense of justice, but she also canonically enjoys the cries of shadows, enjoys destroying them, she loves violence and I think any relationship that let’s her explore that part of herself in either healthy or UNHEALTHY ways, would be a fascinating one to see, especially since Haru grew up pretty restricted, particularly in times of her life where expression of self is more crucial for personality development. She craved the love and bond she once had with her father in his childhood and one of the differences that I adore that ez_cookie so expertly pointed out in Daredevil. Shido never loved Akechi but there was once a time where Okumura loved Haru. That love faded and changed and became something empty and possessive, and that’s bound to leave psychological scars on someone.

I think Haru and Goro are both at the best positions to understand each other but also loathe each other’s perspective. I don’t think they’d fundamentally see eye to eye on alot of key matters. Haru has alot of trust in others, despite her upbringing, There’s this hopeful innocence in her that Akechi doesn’t have at all, and I think despite all their similarities, their anger, and their need to see justice done, that would be the difference that prevents them from truly understanding one another fully. Not to mention they’re from opposite economical backgrounds, which colours the way they view the world. Kupo said it best, they’re like a twisted carnival mirror of each other. In Akechi, Haru can see who she can become if she let her love for violence and her craving for control and autonomy get too far.

In Haru, Akechi sees someone who openly admits to still holding love for someone who stopped giving it a long time ago and I think that’s his least favourite aspect of himself. The fact he wanted Shido to love him, to acknowledge him, and that part, that’s so ingrained with his hatred, makes him sick. And so to see her openly mourn her own father, to admit she still loved him despite his many, many flaws, would not sit well with Akechi-ever. They’re both also very open and forthcoming with their thoughts (especially Akechi in third semester) and I think it would make for a categorically bad time for them to ever have any sort of conversation around forgiveness and the future. BUT that also has this opportunity for them to LEARN from one another. Haru can learn to wield her discernment by not being so trusting, by asserting her control to not be taken advantage of, to not be afraid of her anger because anger can be healthy while Akechi can learn to properly detangle his emotions about his still breathing father, learn not to see empathy, and trust as weakness, learn to grow, from someone who even though they’re from two different worlds, can understand each other fully.

Forgive my language but freak4freak Haru/Goro I know they’d fuck crazy lmao.

ANYWAYS, that’s all just in normal canon where he did in fact kill her dad. In ATOTT he didn’t, so let it be known IF ATOTT Goro HAD killed Okumura, Akechi would not have tried to kill Haru. He wouldn’t have let himself be killed of course, but I think he would be curious to see how she is able to do the things she does and watch her journey to move on from that pain in a way he never could. Also this is a boy who loves fighting so a chick who wants to kill him is not going to move the needle for him. The only reason Akechi tried to kill her at all, is because he KNOWS that resentment intimately, knows what it can do, and he doesn’t at all want to keep a person alive who might turn around and take the one thing he loves most away from him. He knows, Ren would not defend himself against Haru and if she wants to kill him, he may very well let her and he will not take that chance. ANYWAYS, I am a big Haru/Goro enjoyer. Whether as friends, vicious enemies or something even better chronically divorced with at least a couple murder attempts under their belt. Im hungry for it. Thank u for coming to my Tedtalk [Smile or comment on the answer here](https://retrospring.net/@CookieComics/a/112828098366945285)

#i had to put this ask on tumbrl too #watch me explain my Haru/Goro love in as few words as possible of course #definetely of course #p5 #harugoro #goroharu

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mane--attraction · 1 year ago

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It's that time of year again when haunted houses are in full swing, and despite your best efforts, you are going alone to have some fun getting spooked. Might you get more than you bargained for, however?

Word Count: 5015. Yeah. This one kinda got away from me lol. Fun fact, this is now my longest fic ever. This was also supposed to be done for last year, but I clearly vastly underestimated how long this was going to be.

Mild knifeplay, "kidnapping," gender neutral but afab reader. Murdock x reader. Potentially inaccurate haunted house depiction.

MINORS DNI!

~~~

Dusk dapples the sky while you stand in line, waiting for the local haunted house event to open its doors, rubbing your arms to ward off the beginnings of a chill in the air. Despite living here a while, this is your first time you've built up the nerve to go. It takes up the entire fairgrounds, with multiple houses under one event. You had extended an invitation to Murdock, because you were sure it was right up his alley, but he declined, citing work. He's been away an awful lot this month, despite his best efforts, and you were hoping to spend more time with him out and about instead of just within your four walls and between the sheets. But alas, it seems like it's not to be, and you had reassured him it was alright, even as you tried to mask your disappointment.

You mostly relegate all that to the back of your mind, your excitement more prominent now that you're here. You hesitated to attend in the years prior because some of the houses were interactive, where the actors could grab you. It was one of the selling points you had used to appeal to Murdock, animatedly mimicking it in the air, although you wonder now that you think about it if that was a deal breaker for him; after all, thanks to his…line of work, would he have reacted negatively? The last thing either of you need, especially him, is legal action.

Regardless, you're not sure now why it was such a problem for you that you didn't even try the normal houses; and after all, it's not like the ones where they can touch you have free reign. Although you do have to fill out a liability form, so maybe that's why you over-thought it in the past.

You're at the front of the line before you realize it, handing over your money—extra for the specialty houses—and signing the necessary forms. The woman in the booth puts on your wristband and gives you a map and a spiel that she's already had to recite multiple times, but you are eating up every word, grinning excitedly.

"Welcome to our little town of horrors, where the streets and fields are home to a great many spooky things, where the veil between the supernatural and our world grows thinner by the day. But beware: it's not just the ghost and ghouls that are out to get you… Good luck."

And with that, you're free to start exploring. You wander around for a little bit, gaining your bearings on the area, but it isn’t long before impatience overtakes you and you head towards the first haunted house. The smell of food is enticing, as are the Halloween-themed carnival games, but that all can wait. The best way to tackle this is head-on, even if you're sure these beginning houses are going to be pretty okay. This is, after all, just a local event, even if it does pull in quite the crowd. Plus, you’re starting at the tamest one, with plenty of kids out front, so you’ll be fine.

Let the spookening begin.

Your first house was actually a little underwhelming because of being geared so young, but you worked your way through the other two houses you wanted to try before getting to the “final boss” of the haunted houses tonight. You were sufficiently spooked, both through corridors and a corn maze, but the goal wasn’t “sufficient.” With slightly overpriced pizza sitting in your stomach, you start towards your final destination.

Excitement and nervousness, stronger than before, bubble together the closer you get, the previous scares coming to your mind’s eye, but you force yourself through it rather than chicken out. You didn’t come all this way just to back out. You do wish Murdock was here, though; you’d feel a lot better if he was. Things seem less scary with a man like him by your side. The screams from within startle you from your thoughts. You swear they're louder here.

The attendant checks your wristband to make sure you're allowed in, then waves you along into the corral with the next batch of "victims." You fidget with your hands and glance around at the rest of the event. It's only now you realize how physically isolated this house is from the others.

"First time?"

You turn to see a guy around your age with a group of a few others, probably his friends. You chuckle, your nervousness evident. "Yeah. I went through some of the others already, just this one left."

The guy grins, while the two girls resume some quiet discussion. "It'll be fine. They'll just push you and tug on your clothing a bit, maybe grab your hand, but nothing too bad."

"As if you don't scream every time," one of the girls pipes up from her conversation.

He huffs, only half insulted, and you can't help but giggle in tandem with the girls. "I do not—"

“Do too.” The girl who spoke grins. “I bet you’d scream real loud if we went to one of those newer places where they can drag you off somewhere”

“They actually allow that?” you interject, eyes rounding in surprise.

“Yeah, I heard a couple of the big popular places are adding that as a feature.” The girl pulls her coat around her, the wind kicking at everyone’s legs. “It’ll probably never happen here, though. Not with everything that’s happened recently.”

While it does genuinely take you a moment, you nod and go “ah” as if you aren’t in flagrante delicto with the culprit of crimes a few towns over. A culprit whom you were originally planning on bringing here— Thankfully, you’re almost to the door of the house, so the group’s focus is more on getting in than on you, and nobody seems to notice your smile growing a bit taut.

“Hey, why don’t you stick with us?” The other girl you haven’t spoken with yet bounces on her feet.

“Yeah, it’s more fun as a group,” the guy says. His buddy nods.

“Sure,” you say, the twisty feeling in your stomach loosening. “The more the merrier, right?”

Everyone in the group gives some form of acknowledgement, and then the attendant cuts in with their spiel about the theming—a mansion, run down with time after the owner and his staff’s mysterious disappearances…if that’s really what happened. Rumor has it that something terrible befell everyone inside—and they might think you’re to blame, if you’re not careful. They also bring up reminders about protocol while in the house. You've heard all of it at the other haunted houses here, and not much changes with the addition of physicality; as always, if it gets too overwhelming, there are ways out that all the performers know.

The buddy turns to you once the speech is done. “What’s your name, by the way?”

You introduce yourself, and he repeats your name. “Nice to meet you.” He gives his own name and sounds off everyone else’s. You try and commit it all to memory, even if you’re not sure how well it will stay.

“Nice to meet all of you.”

And with that, you step over the threshold, and the door slams shut behind you. You jump higher than you think is warranted, but the scaredy cat in the group does in fact let out a yelp, which sets everyone off laughing. You collectively take a moment to consider the path in front of you: a narrow corridor, flickering with sickly yellow lighting, the remnants of pumped-in fog curling at the floor.

You’re not entirely certain who steps forward first, but it definitely isn’t you. Despite knowing this is all fake and having already gone through other hallways similar to this one, it still has enough of a thrall to induce a silence that grows more tense the further you all get. The walls are eerily similar to how you would imagine a decrepit mansion to be, wallpaper peeling off in sheets, and you find yourself suspicious of every dark spot in the wall. Even the mirrors in the supposed foyer, cracked and broken, are suspect. The sounds of a creaking house and muffled howling winds are piped in; quiet enough to make you second guess where you are, but loud enough that it almost feels too loud in the enclosed space.

One of the girls lets out a shriek, pulling away suddenly from the wall, and you practically jump out of your skin. She giggles nervously. “It got me!”

Everyone else follows suit, letting out a laugh that normally would release tension. You can only speak for yourself when you think about how it didn’t much help.

“Get out! The master is gone: Get out while you still can!”

The warning, shouted at a frightening pitch, kicks your group forward, everyone pressing together as the hall narrows more, then widens again, a bend ahead of you all. You feel a hand against your sleeve, and you jank it back quickly with a surprised curse. A cold breeze tickles your neck, and it takes all your willpower not to shriek, even though that is perfectly in spirit with a haunted house (pun not intended). “Please tell me someone else felt that cold air?” you squeak.

“Yeah, I did,” says the guy in front of you. You already can’t tell which one he is.

The wood beneath your feet groan as you all continue forward, the sconces flickering with the yellow light your eyes have gotten used to. You shove your hands into your pockets; the closer you keep your limbs, the less likely they are to be grabbed. The door handle beside your group rattles. It’s not fake. You all move a little quicker.

The floorboards creak behind you, and you feel like you turn as if in slow motion to see a man standing in the middle of the hallway in a mask, human-like but definitely not human. Every feature is exaggerated just enough to be unnatural, and in this place, it works a little too well. With his frame, he seems to take up the entire hallway; and if not physically, then with his presence. Your eyes lock onto him, and you stop walking, as if he’s frozen you in place. Everything else disappears: no sound, no sight except for this man. And there’s something about him…

The man lets out a guttural growl, the kind that sends genuine fear into the pit of your stomach. You’re the first to scramble to run the moment he shifts to pursue, pushing through the rest of your group, the spell broken, but everyone else soon follows suit, screams echoing in the tiny corridor. You're not sure where theirs end and yours begins. You whip your head around just long enough to confirm where the man is before you round the corner, and your line of sight is perfect to see him between everyone’s heads, the unsettling lighting warping the mask more. You swear you see a knife in his hand.

Finally, after a few minutes of running, one of the girls must have glanced back, because you hear her call out behind you, "He's gone!" Your feet don't quite get the memo, and you find yourself out ahead of the group as you slow and catch your breath.

“Fuck’s sake,” you mutter to yourself. Why did that scare you so much?

“Are you okay?” one of the guys asks. You nod.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” It’s half a lie, and you laugh nervously. “Just part of the experience, right?”

“Right.”

“We should probably keep moving though. Who knows when the next person’s gonna jump out at us.” Despite not being fully ready, you lead the group forward, trying to figure out what it was this time. It’s probably not that deep, but it feels important to figure out.

However. Something occurs to you.

That mask didn't look like it belonged in this house

Teeth bared in a snarl too wide to be natural, prominent eyebrows casting shadows over the eyes, more creature than human, despite being human-like. Surely it's just a mistake, but all the other houses have been meticulous with what they had to work with, so for a slip-up to happen now seems odd. Although, it could still fit, since it had been said nobody knew what happened to the occupants of the mansion. That doesn't quite explain, however, why his outfit—including an almost knee-length modern coat with pants—wasn't that of a servant, nor the head of the mansion…

“That was a pretty good scare,” says one of the girls behind you.

“Yeah, that felt so visceral,” says the other. "Wild."

“I have the heebie jeebies.” It’s that guy, the scared one.

“You always get the ‘heebie jeebies.’”

He huffs. “Shut up—”

You slow down, falling to the back of the group. You swear you hear something that isn’t just the sound system, but maybe it's just your overactive imagination. After all, anyone would be on high alert after being chased. The guy you haven’t spoken to gives you a look that you almost miss, but you don't explain yourself. No point.

“I thought this was supposed to be more grabby.”

“Maybe we just haven’t gotten that far yet.”

“I know this place is big, but it’s not that big.”

“They probably just want to build up the spookiness,” you interject, even if you’re not fully convinced, yourself.

“Ah, that would make sense.”

You stop in front of another destroyed mirror, pieces scattered on the table under it. Your own face is almost unrecognizable, horridly lit and fractured in the reflection, concern and fear staring back at you.

“YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE!”

It comes from up ahead, and it snaps you from your trance, but instead of seeing your new acquaintances, you see…nobody. Everyone is gone. Even the voice you heard isn’t visible to you.

You swear you see a bit of the one girl's hair trailing behind her at the bend ahead, but you're much too far away already, and you're not sure they noticed you're not with them yet. It stings a little, even if you know they didn’t mean anything by it, but your nervousness overpowers that, the uncertainty of what lies ahead gnawing at you. You jog forward, just fast enough to hopefully catch up with the rest of the group—

You hear a loud THUMP somewhere behind you, startling you enough to jump. With the way the ground vaguely vibrates, whatever hit the floor must have done so pretty hard. You swallow thickly. “Guys?” you call out. No answer. You jog with more urgency now, your footfalls and heartbeat equal tempo in your ears. More than likely, they didn’t hear you because of ambience, but you fear they’ve gotten too far away in such a short span of time. You pick up speed—

—but there’s another noise behind you, a shuffling, that has you stop again, head whipping around to try and find the source. With the corners so dark, it’s impossible to tell if someone is there or if it was just an animal that found its way in. You stand there for a few seconds longer than you should, staring into the darkness. Something is up, and the lack of anything actually happening is making this so much worse than being physically pushed and pulled in different directions. You’re not a haunted house expert by any means, but this place has been far too quiet. Slowly, you continue to move forward, the faux fog growing thicker with less bodies to disturb it. The floor creaks uncomfortably loud. You don’t remember any mention about multiple pathways, so where the hell is everyone?

There's a tug on your hair, and you barely suppress a yelp, but you suppose it was an accident…although it was rather close to your scalp; how did someone get that close without you realizing after all this time…

Suddenly, there's a hand clamped around your wrist, jolting you, and you'd think it a coincidence if it wasn't for the one wrapping around your mouth, dragging you to someone and into the shadows. You scream, but it's muffled, drowned out by the suddenly overly loud sound system, and your efforts to struggle out of your assailant's grip are futile, holding you tightly against their body as they maneuver you with much more ease than you'd expect. It's honestly kind of scary how little you're affecting them. Their hands are oddly cool against your skin, and then you realize it's not their skin, but some material.

Leather.

A door slams open behind you, and you're dragged into a room. The outside noises are muffled, then dampened once the door shuts again, trapping you in the dim space with whoever has kidnapped you. You're still yelling, trying to stomp on their feet and throw your head back against their chin, but their shoes are too solid and they're too tall to headbutt. Your hands twist around to pinch or scratch, but all you get is fabric.

"Sweet thing," a man's voice growls into your ear, "you better cooperate, or else this will be a lot more difficult for you."

The person's hands shift, and hope surges that you'll get an opening, but before you can get very far in acting through it, you're forced to the ground face down, hips suddenly pressed up against you, and you freeze. He's rock hard.

"Or you can struggle all you like. Doesn't much matter to me." Somehow, you can tell there's a grin to his voice. "It just encourages me to try harder."

It takes you a moment too long to try and buck him off, gnashing your teeth. "Get off of me! You'll be sorry!"

You feel the man throb, and he laughs lowly. "Sorry how, sweetheart? A pretty thing like you, at my mercy…"

The chill of metal against your skin startles you into freezing again, and something about it seems…familiar. The cogs take a moment to turn, but then they click into place. You know that voice. "Murdock?"

He's quiet for a moment, then chuckles. "Well, well. Smart cookie. Not that I expected anything less from my kitten.”

Considering the shock of it all prevented you from thinking straight, he's lucky you didn't panic more. "Wh— What are you doing here? I had thought—"

"I couldn't resist the opportunity." Murdock tosses something to the ground—a mask he was apparently wearing. "And work…ended much sooner than I thought."

The lighting is terrible, but your eyes focus on the mask, which stares back at you with a bared grin, more bestial than you realized, and a memory flashes: Being pursued down the hall, sickly yellow light flashing across its exaggerated features— "But how—"

He shushes you, hands trailing across your neck to expose it to him. "I have my ways, sweetling. Not everyone is as careful as they could be." He starts pressing startlingly soft kisses to your neck, although it isn't long before they become more insistent, and you bite your lip and shiver. "Yourself included."

His dangerous tone sets off a nervousness in the pit of your stomach: it’s the type of tone he uses when you’ve been misbehaving. “L-listen, Murdock, I carry that pepper spray with me, you know I’ll be okay—”

“Do I? After all, look at how easily I stole you away…”

Shit. He’s not wrong. "You—you’re just abnormally strong.” You swear you hear a light chuckle, but you ignore it and squirm in one more attempt to get free. “The others, they're— they're waiting for me—"

"Are they?" He can't hide the hint of possessiveness that creeps into his voice, and one of his hands presses into your back to stop you. "They can wait, sweetheart. We haven't had our fun yet."

The sharp tip of something presses against your center, and you yip, jolting forward. “Don’t you dare! I’m not about to replace these—”

“Alright, I won’t. Help me get you out of them, then."

His hands push their way under your coat to find the band of your jeans, and a half second after he starts, your brain jumpstarts again and you scramble to assist him, finding the waistband before he does and pushing it down your body. Murdock takes over when it rounds your ass, shoving the material to your knees with impatience. You try and kick them off, although it is very difficult in this position; he helps a little bit, but once you’ve gotten it off one leg, he grips your thighs, forcing you to stay still. Slowly, the cold metal of the flat of his blade trails over your skin: along your thigh, pressing against the underside of your ass, across and down to the other thigh…then it’s pressing against your core again, and with nothing but your underwear left to protect you, you can’t help but whimper.

“These are easily replaceable, though. Aren’t they, kitten?”

His knife pushes a little firmer against you, and your breathing shudders. It takes everything within you not to press back. “...Yes, sir.”

His grin is as clear as day in his voice this time. “Perfect.”

It’s the only warning you get before a gloved finger hooks between your skin and the cotton, pulling it away just enough to allow the knife to slip through and slice. Your underwear offers no resistance, cut through like butter and exposing you in an instant. The cold only chills you for a moment, his groin back against yours and grinding roughly, and all you can do is fail to hold back your moan. He only does this for a few seconds before pulling back. His jingling belt gives away his intentions, and your blood pumps faster in anticipation.

“Do you think you’re ready? Hm?” There’s a soft sound and fabric going flump, and his bare hand is on your clit, rubbing intensely. You gasp wildly, nodding without actually knowing if you are or not. Murdock’s fingers dip into you, checking for himself. You don’t resist lifting your hips towards them, trying to guide them further in with a desperate whine. He just teases you, sliding back and forth and occasionally thumbing your sensitive nub.

“Please,” you whisper without thinking.

“What’s that?” Fuck, he sounds so smug, and you’d love to snap back at him for it, but him slowing to a snail’s pace is too distracting. “I didn’t quite hear you.”

“Please, Murdock!”

His fingers leave you, and you pout and whine quietly. However, his zipper popping open has you changing your tune. “One more try.”

There’s little hesitation from you. “Pleasefuckme!”

“Mm.” His head slides through your folds, and you gasp again. This time, his gloved hand stills you before you can move. “Music to my ears.”

That’s all the warning you get before he slowly slides into you, gripping your hips. You squeak, lashes fluttering as your breaths come out in puffs, adjusting to how almost easily he stretches you. He rubs at you a little more, and he sinks in the rest of the way. A low moan is his reward, followed by one of his own. Murdock hardly moves at first, simply grinding within you and rocking his hips in shallow movements. Then, suddenly, he draws back all the way and snaps his hips against yours, and you yelp in surprise. You aren’t given much of a reprieve before he does it again. And again. And again. And each time, you let out a shout, although you try to muffle yourself, thinking you hear footsteps in the hall. At any moment, someone from the staff could come in here. Does he know this?

Better question is, does he care? You’re not sure if you want to admit that it kind of turns you on.

Murdock starts a steady pace, not so intense as before but just as overwhelming. You’re panting already, struggling to keep quiet. He notices and chuckles. "Go ahead and scream." His command is uncannily punctuated by muffled screams from within the haunted house proper. "Do you really think they can hear you over everyone else’s, let alone the sounds from the haunted house itself?" His breath is hot by your ear. "Nobody's going to investigate, sweet thing. I have you all to myself, now."

That shouldn’t excite you as much as it does, holding back a whimper, yet you can’t hold back the way you tighten around him. He slows, as if making sure of something, then growls. “Oh, naughty thing. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You clamp your mouth shut, hoping that if you don’t answer, he’ll leave it alone. But alas, your body betrays you once more, and Murdock stops, a certain something sharp that you forgot about dragging against your neck just enough for you to be aware of it, your breath catching. “Answer me, kitten.”

“Yes, sir.” The reply rushes from your lips with more neediness than you thought it would have.

“First you let your ‘kidnapper’ fuck you, now this?” he teases, clicking his tongue with mock disappointment. “Seems I need to learn more about my kitten.”

Your face flushes intensely. It’s no different than when he’s chased you out in the woods, and he knows this. He just can’t help himself…but also he’s more than willing to play into the role of pursuer. This you know well.

“Maybe I should be making you beg more for me to fuck you.” His gloved hand trails along your thigh. “But I’m much too impatient for that.”

His grip grows tight enough to bruise, his thrusts growing intense to match, and you let out a sound unlike any you’ve made thus far, wild and raw and overwhelmed with pleasure. Murdock laughs, triumphant and deep like his thrusts, and more than tinged with lust. It almost seems to settle into your bones.

“God. What a rush you give me.”

His pace is technically slower now, but that doesn’t matter with the way your eyes roll with every impact. You feel him lean over, but don’t know what’s happening until his lips reach your neck, kissing and sucking the skin he can find. Your moan is so whorish that it would embarrass you under different circumstances. His lips curl against your neck, although you barely comprehend that’s what’s happening. You try and reach your hand to your clit, but he beats you to it, only to rub so harshly that you practically sob out a cry. “FUCK!”

“If you insist,” he says, his strained voice giving away how much you’re affecting him. That hand travels back up to hold your hip in a vice grip. He lets out that same guttural growl from earlier, this time low and long, and with it directly in your ear, you nearly lose your mind, fluttering madly around him. You're so close—

"There it is. There we are." Murdock growls again, shorter but nowhere less effective. "Do it. Cum. Scream for me."

Despite being so tightly wound, you’re almost not sure if you can obey…until he groans and slams once more into you—and with a shriek, you are undone, clenching wildly around him and thighs trembling with an orgasm more intense than you expected. Murdock grunts in surprise, trying to continue fucking you through it. Your mind fractures with every attempted stroke, whimpering and babbling curses.

“Oh fuck—”

Murdock grunts once, twice, then he’s spilling inside you, cock pulsing harshly, the heat of him and his skin flush against yours driving you mad. He gasps and huffs and puffs, hand blinding finding you and rubbing again just enough to feel you clench around him harder. You keen loudly, practically a shriek in and of itself, legs threatening to give out as your body is kept on that intense plateau.

Eventually, the rush of cum slows, as does his throbbing inside you, and your own body is, mercifully, allowed to relax, still fluttering but not actively climaxing. The both of you pant heavily, catching your breaths as the two of you recover. His hands slide over your body, the strange dichotomy of skin and leather over and under your clothes. Murdock slips from you, and you’re too tired yet to be disappointed by it. He guides you in rolling you onto your back, and you don’t resist, grateful to give your legs a break from supporting you.

You blink almost blearily at where he ought to be, your eyes needing to adjust again to the lighting. You find your legs spread wide, almost folded in half, and his cockhead against your entrance once more. He doesn’t do anything at first, probably just taking you in. It’s a welcome, true reprieve. His bare hand brushes against your cheek, and you lean into it on instinct.

While maybe the break ought to last longer, Murdock is true to his word and impatient to have you. As he slides into you again with an unabashed moan that’s matched with your own, it strikes you as always that he’s already—still?—half hard again. If there’s one guarantee about Murdock among the other guarantees, it’s that he doesn’t stay soft for long.

Now, you can see him, face closer to yours. Even in the dimness, there's no mistaking that hunter's glint in his eyes. "Hello, sweetheart," he says, a wicked grin on his lips. "Miss me?"

He's devouring your mouth before you can respond, head spinning while he takes over your senses. His thrust scrambles what few thoughts you had left, eyes rolling into your head with a loud moan swallowed by him. Your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, and he groans into your mouth. Your mind tumbles again.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Murdock pants against your lips, watching your unfocused expression as he resumes pounding into you. All you can manage is a long whine. “How much more, hm? How much more can you take while I show you just how much I missed you?”

You don’t know. You can’t even think enough to be able to consider how much more.

But you’re certainly about to find out.

#lemon #x reader #Murdock x reader #minors dni #gender neutral reader #afab reader #gn reader #cw knife #a year in the making folks #happy halloween~~#murderplier x reader

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arakihorrorzine · 10 months ago

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Eddie's a rather tender subject - but these aren't.

On this post, we will answer your questions, comments, and concerns from the interest check! We will add to this post as others come in.

If you have any additional questions, please feel free to send them our way via our ask box, the interest check, or our CuriousCat!

Not only are queer themes allowed, but they're encouraged! This is a Rocky Horror-themed JJBA zine, after all.

This zine is fully LGBTQ+ inclusive (in terms of content and contributors), and you are welcome to explore headcanons or themes related to sexuality, gender, and identity.

We understand the concern, and we agree - that is why we are insisting that all contributors be 18+ by the time zine creation begins (applicants for the potential NSFW zine must already be 18+). This will extend to all individuals shown in cosplay photos.

For applications, your submission will look pretty similar to the writers and artists. You'll need to fill out the form and submit a small portfolio of your work with three featured images. You will not be required to have have cosplayed JJBA or RHPS before, though we would love to see that in a portfolio. What we want to see are pictures that showcase you being confident, creative, and fun! This IS NOT a popularity or craftsmanship contest, so feel free to submit images that incorporate your personal identities, head canons, and take creative liberties.

For submissions to the zine, it us our top priority to maintain your safety while providing you as much freedom and flexibility as possible. Zine submissions should consist of one or two high-quality cosplay photos, or a collage intended to fit on 1-2 pages. Our mod team has envisioned submissions mostly consisting of Jojo's characters combined with the aesthetics and themes of Rocky Horror (e.g. burlesque fashion, integration of a Rocky Horror character, or the utilizing the unique gothic/camp/carnival aesthetics present within the film in some way). But we are flexible and open to different ideas and interpretations!

While we would love to see submissions from cosplay groups, solo submissions work as well! You are not required to work with a photographer, as long as your images are high quality and follow the submission rules.

#qna

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lapsed-bookworm · 13 days ago

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Call For Submissions: November/December 2024

The Gender Exploration Carnival is one of several blogging carnivals – an event where a host blog puts out a theme for the month, participants create content and share the links with the host, and the host posts a round-up at the end of the month. For more information, you can check out the FAQ page.

I'm self-hosting the Gender Exploration Carnival with the theme of "Resilience" for November and December of 2024. The following prompts are merely suggestions, and you are not required to answer one question (or all of them) in order to participate as long as your submission is connected to the theme.

Suggested prompts:

Resilience is the ability to adapt to a difficulty or change. Do you think your personal experience with a gender, genders, or a lack thereof has affected your resiliency? (For example, do you think having a social or community space with more people to ask for help from has increased your resiliency?)

Do you approach resilience as more of a community level skill instead of thinking about personal resilience? If so, how might you increase the resiliency of community members? Does this feel like a goal oriented idea (such as preparing for the outcome of a legal decision in your country)?

What do you think of when you hear Trans Day of Resilience?

If you'd like, you can revisit the theme TDOR for Trans Day of Remembrance.

–

The deadline for submissions is 11 pm EST [UTC-5] on 27 December 2024. I will post the round-up around 2 pm on 28 December and will accept late submissions until then. You can submit an anonymous entry for this month by emailing [email protected] (the post will be self-hosted on WordPress), or you can leave a link to your submission in a comment on this post. If you have an idea for a theme and would like to host, please leave a comment on Volunteer As Host.

#Gender Exploration Carnival #trans #trans day of remembrance #gender #genderfluid #genderqueer #agender #multigender

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tarttsweetshriek · 5 months ago

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Get To Know Me

Basic Info

Name: Tartt Sweetshriek

Gender: Female

Race: Goblin

Class: Death Knight

Faction: Horde

Affiliations: Bilgewater Cartel, The Ebon Blade

Eye Color: Lichfire Blue

Hair Color: Purple

Skin Color: Green

Height: 4’

Age: Adult

Server: Wyrmrest Accord (NA)

Birthplace: Kezan

Profession: Engineer

Body Shape: Small, but Athletic

Likeness: Rhea Ripley (Mami)

Voice Reference (Speaking): Melissa Rauch (Harley from “Batman and Harley Quinn”)

Voice Reference (Singing): Lzzie Hale (Halestorm)

Sexual Orientation: Straight

Relationship Status: Single

Piercings: Tongue Stud (Kaja’mite green color), Skull earring and a stud, (L) Studs (Right Ear), Nose Studs (Right Side)

Tattoos: Shadowmoon Clan symbol from the Kosh’Harg (Left Shoulder)

A tattoo on her back of Blight Boar outlined in purple and green- the colors of Inner Beast. She got this at the Tournament of Ages. This tattoo glows.

Languages: Goblin I Orcish I Common

Hobbies

Likes: Blight Boar, ETC, Inner Beast (Rp band), Heavy Metal, Death Metal, Motorcycles, Explosives, Tight outfits, leather corsets, dresses, dark makeup, socializing, “death knight things”, playing guitar, dancing, attending concerts, singing, raves, hanging out, dressing for special occasions, exploring new places, reading, collecting tomes and letters. Enjoys getting roses on occasion. (Mainly a variety of black roses, Sanguine roses from Revendreth and dread roses from Ardenweald).

Dislikes: Gallywix, Arthas, forces that threaten Azeroth.

Note: Tolerates Paladins to an extent.

Love Language: Physical touch, complements, kisses, hugs.

Other Info

Smoking: Hookah (if there is one available)

Other drugs: None. (She tried a void mushroom and had a bad experience. Never again).

Drinking: Socially

Fears: Being alone, “accidentally” not sating her Endless Hunger and becoming a murderous maniac. Being rejected.

Kinks

Breast play: She doesn’t mind if others look/ glance at them. Enjoys them being squeezed, massaged, nipples teased, pulled, pinched, sucked and tugged.

Blindfolded: Enjoys being blindfolded on a soft bed.

Is curious about whips, riding crops, and flogs.

(When she’s feeling dominant): She’s discovered a form of spanking using the Abomination Limb ability. (Glowing green spectral hands that flail around and hit the butt).

Traits

Flirty at times, enjoys company. Serious when she has to be.

Despite expressing negative emotions most of the time (as Death Knights should), she tries to be happy when she’s near the people around her. (Plus, I can’t rp an edgelord all the time).

Family Members

Siblings: Bogble: Goblin Rogue (Alive, but they don’t talk much).

Parents: Deceased.

RP Hooks

You may know Tartt Sweetshriek if:

You fought with or allied with the Ebon Blade during the Northrend Campaign against the Lich King.

You are a Third War and/or Fourth War veteran.

You attend Blight Boar concerts at the Darkmoon Faire (Or Caverns of Time during the anniversary event).

You frequent the World’s Faire Carnival or the Tournament of Ages.

You attend the Lordaeron Night Market. (Rp market)

You attend the Wings and Metal concert. (Rp concert).

You have seen her as part of the security in the Gilnean Black Market. (She started that recently).

(Pic was drawn by PoodleArt during the Lordaeron Night Market last year).

Note: If a character has not been to the Shadowlands, black roses will do just fine.

#world of warcraft #rp

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atomic-insomnia · 4 months ago

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For the potential AU question, how about a Victorian AU, you know with balls, fancy big outfits and all, an 80s AU aaand a post apocalyptic AU. I gave you 3 so that you can choose :3.

thanks!

i will probably come back for the 80's and post-apocalyptic au's, but i actually drew a victorian au a long time ago but never uploaded it! it was inspired by the sort of dark/gothic/melodrama victoriana like sweeney todd, crimson peak, penny dreadful etc

-this takes place vaguely in "london," not the real place but the grimy, perpetually overcast, singing and dancing jack-the-ripper style place of sweeney todd & the like. everyone has magic powers, often of the sort that has terrible cost to their own health & sanity the more they use it

like these , with nothing "normal" in between

Amelia contacts real ghosts through her crystal ball (containing the skull of a mysterious someone...) which act according to her orders, so that it looks to anyone else like she's moving things through telekinesis or learning things about other people's activities through extra-sensory perception; she's started hearing the ghosts all the time even when she's not intentionally calling them up.

makoto paints pictures which affect the real world, either predicting future events or being able to paint an object and then just reach into the picture and take it out as a real object; she's working on painting life-like animals and people and trying to turn them into real living creatures which is slowly turning her into a sort of doctor frankenstein mad scientist (except, an artist instead of a scientist).

rolls royceton acts like a rich swell but can transform into a huge monstrous creature like the hulk/jekyll and hyde; he intentionally does it to fight/threaten people so as to build territory for his gang but it's started happening out of his control.

vinny was supposed to be executed for theft...and it didn't work; he's essentially a zombie that is still thinking and feeling and doesn't understand it at all but is too scared of dying for real to try to "fix" it.

-various murder mysteries happen through magic or strange dramatic circumstances (no one gets shot with a regular gun for normal murder reasons; it's always some rare poisoned dagger or bizarre curse or something), which amelia & co solve (or technically solve, by getting someone to reveal what's happening)

-a lot of the world revolves around the powers people have & what that means for people of different social classes or genders or ethnicities--a wealthy girl who can blow people up with her mind wouldn't do such a rude thing in society, it's unladylike! a street urchin who can heal people with their hands is probably just using that as an excuse to pick pockets, you know how those people are... as a result, a lot of those murder mysteries are something ironic, like a kindly old grandma whose cookies force people to mind their manners or else be poisoned because manners matter more to her than murder. it's the sort of place where if someone jumped off a bridge, everyone else would judge them like an olympic diving competition

-the characters first meet at a masquerade ball all wearing masks and different clothes, where a murderer is hiding by changing costumes. there should be an exploration through the crypts of an ancient cursed church, a mysterious carnival full of actual magic and deadly games, a theater with a ghost directing (and possessing) the living actors to have the Perfect Performance(TM), twisting back alleys where you could find anything (literally anything) for sale or might get murdered or simply disappear; gothic-steampunk-esque vibes...

-this has gotten more grim than the request implied haha, but i think there's an element of a group of selfish, sometimes callous people coming together in a found-family way and realizing that they want to be better than that and eventually either working to be better people or tragically failing because the terrible things they've done in the past have come back to haunt them. like most of the story would be somewhere between horror and dark comedy, but the final act would actually be life or death for the main characters

#no ive never played fallen london or blades in the dark unfortunately #the skull in the crystal ball is a man who wronged her in her backstory--#--in the original universe she never gets revenge bc that just doesnt happen. i dont even plan on keeping much of it in the main story--#--but she can get revenge this time. as a treat #gothic au #victorian au #steampunk au #dreadpunk au #oc tag #oc amelia #oc koko #oc rolls royston #oc vinny #beg borrow or steal #ask meme #i was actually just thinking how much i miss halloween...

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beloveddawn-blog · 1 year ago

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for @minnieposting Noel is her character I just got a thought in my head that wouldn't leave. One brief misgendering by a character that hasn't met Noel before and a gender-neutral usage of 'dude' because I feel Donovan is that sort of person.

Enjoy!

Noel lit up as Donovan sauntered into the arcade. They quickly shook their head, however, and then sprawled elegantly and insolently over the counter. Or at least attempted to. They actually looked a bit like a golden retriever looking for pets, but Donovan refrained from commenting on it. As cute as Noel looked when they were all fired up, that wasn’t the point of this visit. “There’s my favourite sidekick!” He exclaimed, throwing in a wink. “Whadda ya say we cause some trouble?”

“I’m still at work.” They replied thoughtlessly, then went bright red and started waving their hands in front of their face. “I… I… I… I mean, maybe. Depends on what you have in mind. I’ll see if I can pencil you in somewhere.” It was a valiant attempt to regain some dignity, but unfortunately Donovan knew better. As did Luis, who groaned dramatically in the background.

“Dunno.” Donovan replied slyly. “What’re ya in the mood for? Quick run through the woods? Explore the deepest levels of the sewers? Steal something out of the Prince’s room? Heckle Xyla? There’s all sorts of things to do around here.” His grin grew as he went on, the list getting steadily more dangerous as he continued. Noel was starting to turn faintly green, their skin shifting to match their hair as their distress bled through their own unique abilities.

Still, though, Noel was never one to back down. Donovan would have gotten bored if they had been. They slouched back against the counter behind them, hands causally tucked into their hoodie pocket to hide their shaking. Their grin shook just as much, but they offered it anyway. “That’s it? Sounds like you’ve got nothing but boring pla-AHNS.” Their voice cracked in the middle of the word, likely from fear, and Donovan felt bad for just a moment… Before entirely forgetting it happened as he surged forward, hands outstretched in an attempt to catch Noel. Noel, who had startled themselves with their own voice, slipped on the spider plushie behind them… And accidentally slid the entire collection of stuffed animals you could win at the arcade off of the counter, before falling themself and knocking over a lamp. Which then hit a vending machine. Which swayed ominously before Donovan pivoted and pushed it back into place, determined to protect Noel after his little bit of teasing had gone very wrong.

Luis groaned long, loud, and dramatically before slamming his face into the counter. “Just go.” He begged. “I’d rather deal with customers all day myself than watch one more moment of this disaster kid and their disaster flirting. Just go enjoy the carnival. ANYTHING but staying here and making my day even worse.”

Noel looked like they were about to cry, and Donovan was having none of that. Not when he’d actually come here to sweep Noel away for a little date. “Perfect, Luis, thanks. You’re a real pal.” He replied, reaching over the counter to haul Noel up by one arm. Then he used both hands to grab Noel further in the armpits and bodily haul them over the counter only to tuck them under one arm. “See ya around!” Then he turned on his heel and steered Noel right out of the arcade, ignoring how they flushed some odd magenta-violet colour rather than a normal red. Once outside he steered them off to the side and grabbed them a cotton candy. “Good job ditching work.” He commented, choosing to act like Noel had done it on purpose to make Luis be the one to kick him out. Plausible deniability and all that. “I’ve heard Luis make some pretty good ‘done with people’ sounds before, but this one really took the cake. You’ve got a real talent there.”

Noel blushed and hid their face with the cotton candy. Donovan wisely chose not to tell them they’d gotten it on their forehead.

Okay, look, Donvan knew Noel thought he was the coolest thing to ever call Withergate home. He knew that. It didn’t mean he didn’t want to show off for them sometimes, though. It was one thing to just feel that adoring gaze on him, but another thing entirely to turn towards it in triumph and bask in it. He wasn’t really going to take Noel into the forest, though. Or the depths of the sewers. Mortal peril wasn’t actually date material, exhilarating as it could be. And Donvan trusted himself to keep them both safe, but it would still stress Noel out a bit. So, on to the next best thing: the carnival! He could show off to his heart’s content in a safe environment and bask in Noel’s delight, feed them and send them home with a smile on their face. It was a great plan!

Donovan stepped back as P.A.M. lit up in delight and announced his score for the whole carnival to hear. He hadn’t quite unseated the High Score (and where a farmer of all things had learned to fight like that…) but it had been impressive nonetheless. He’d even impressed himself, he’d been so focussed on showing off. Riding high on his victory and the starstruck awe in Noel’s eyes, Donovan made the mistake that would set the tone for the night. “Whadda ya say, Noel? Wanna give it a try?”

“Sure!” They chirped, stepping gamely up to the machine. Donovan could see the slight tremors of nerves in their shoulders, but Noel had more guts than most and never backed down. They looked at the machine for a moment before shifting their hands to match Donovan’s claws (and watching flesh flow like that was always going to be just as freaky as it was freaking awesome, he loved this strange little dude so much) and settled into a poor imitation of a fighting stance. Before he could correct them, however, the dummy appeared.

Noel startled, took a swipe, overbalanced because their hands were now a different shape than expected, fell forward, and smashed their face into the dummy.

Donovan shot forward to get a hold of them, ignoring P.A.M. shutting down the game and informing him he’d gotten Noel disqualified. There was blood on Noel’s face.

Oh, not a lot, which was a great thing to discover, but enough that Donovan could smell it, and it was distressing. He’d never actually smelled anything like it before and even though it wasn’t unpleasant he never wanted to smell it again because it meant Noel’s blood was outside of their body!

Noel, for their part, just looked up at him dazedly, then gave a soft, “Oh,” and shifted their nose around a bit to heal it. Which was super cool to know, but also not what you wanted to have happen on a date. And shapeshifting couldn’t deal with the little goose egg forming on Noel’s hairline. They shook their head decisively, however, when Donovan suggested he just walk them home. “I still wanna hang out with you,” they insisted. “We had plans.”

Which… they sort of didn’t. This had been a whim. Still, Donovan was totally wrapped around Noel’s fingers and also still wanted to hang out, so they did.

It did not improve from there.

“So, chap, what’s your guess? Was it 21, 27, or 39?”

Noel blinked slowly at Chauncy, obviously trying to parse the question. “35,” they replied decisively.

Now it was Chauncy’s turn to blink. “Thirty… five. That’s… not an option, kid.”

Noel nodded seriously. “And a half.”

Benny laid the cards out in front of them. They were playing as a team, so Donovan pointed to one and Noel pointed to a second. The cards didn’t match, so Noel looked seriously back at the ghost before saying, “Go fish.”

They didn’t even get to try the hat game. The critter appeared and Noel squeaked in delight before turning themselves into one, chittering back and forth with it animatedly.

Jet banned them. Donovan couldn’t stop laughing.

The ferris wheel was the pinnacle achievement of the celebrated architect Xyla and by far the most interesting part of the Withergate skyline… And Donovan really should have noted that Noel never mentioned it themselves. They didn’t tell Donovan they were afraid of heights until the second rotation, and on the third one the whole ride had to be shut down for cleaning. Donovan didn't wait for the operator to “assist them in safely disembarking”, he simply talked Noel into shifting back into a critter, tucked them in his shirt, and took off.

The last thing Noel needed after puking on the ride was to walk through the gauntlet of people also affected. Especially the ones in the splash zone.

Dugan’s Deadeye was another unmitigated disaster. Neither Noel nor Donovan owned their own crossbow, so Donovan sweet-talked Dugan into letting them borrow his crossbow to give it a try. He made a respectable showing of himself, but not enough to win. He shrugged philosophically, as he never really used a crossbow and as such, reasonably, wasn’t great at them.

Then it was Noel’s turn.

Three shots in, of course, and the string snapped. Noel yelped and flinched, and that honestly probably saved their pretty face. Nothing could save their arm, however, and the welt the string raised looked even worse than the goose egg from before. It was probably only thanks to Noel’s big sad eyes and sad whimpering that Dugan dropped his complaints so quickly. They hightailed it out of there pretty quickly too.

That was how they found themselves back in the arcade. Luis was still ignoring them completely, but that was just fine by Donovan. They were just having a calm, chill time with Donovan teaching Noel how to properly play pool (and no, it’s not just poking the ball with the stick, there is a technique to it) when Noel managed to mess up a shot badly by scooping it, causing the ball to fly off like it was trying to skip town, only to be stopped short with a loud THWACK!

Right.

Into.

The.

Prince’s.

Hand.

Prince Darius blinked slowly, taking in the scene in front of him. Donovan didn’t really hold with authority figures, but there was no denying the amount of power the other man held. And while Donovan could withstand some royal tantruming with ease, Noel was a more sensitive soul.

The Prince’s gaze shifted between the two of them for a moment before he raised one eyebrow at Donovan imperiously. Good, he thought, fiercely glad Noel wasn’t going to be taking the heat for this. They hadn’t done anything wrong, it was an accident and the Prince hadn’t even been inside when it happened, but both King Minos and Dynus ruled with iron-fisted whims. Prince Darius wasn’t usually too bad, but every now and then seemed to feel he had something to prove.

“Even for a hustle, this is awfully unfair.” He commented, his red eyes glinting with judgement. “Look at him, he can barely hold a cue!”

Donovan squared up by slouching down, fixing his own harsh gaze on his ruler. “They’re just learning,” he replied, taking care to keep the comment light. It wasn’t really unreasonable to assume he was attempting to hustle Noel, Prince Darius had seen him do similar things before, but there was something about the thought of that happening to Noel that had the wolf in him snarling. “Nothing like that’s happening here.”

Prince Darius took a closer look at Noel, and Donovan could see his features hardening as he took in the small lump on their forehead, the remnants of blood around their nose, and the edge of the red mark from the welt peeking through the loose neck of their hoodie. “Yes.” He replied, voice clipped and brittle. “I can see you’ve been taking very good care of them already today.”

Donovan drew up in affront and opened his mouth to deny it when he was beaten to his own defence by a tremulous voice he hadn’t expected would have the courage to speak at all in royalty’s presence.

“Don’t you speak to Donovan like that!” Noel insisted, coming forward to stand between them. They were easily the shortest of the three, and it was almost comical how far back they had to tilt their head to match that narrowed red gaze. “It’s absolutely not his fault that I’ve been a disaster of a person today, I just… I just didn’t sleep well. He’s been great about it, even when I messed up all his plans. And I really don’t get why you’re being mean to him when I was the one that bounced the ball up like that. That’s really unfair.”

For one full, breathless moment, Noel stood steady under Prince Darius’s flinty gaze. Donovan raised a hand towards Noel’s shoulder, intending to offer support, when the Prince softened. He still carried his arrogance like a cape, and his eyes still held their keen edge of assessment, but the defensive aggression he had set his shoulders in left, seamlessly flowing back into casual confidence. The smile he gave Noel was both smug and lazy, but there was something there that had Donovan’s hackles rising.

“I’m not judging his character, I’m judging his teaching.” He replied, speaking to Noel directly for the first time. “Come. I shall assist you with this match. You’ll need all the help you can get to stand a chance against this punk. He spends far too much time here, and it shows in his skill.”

“Excuse me?” Donovan spat out, knowing his own laughter showed in his voice, “You’re in here every single afternoon, you don’t get to judge me for my habits.”

Prince Darius raised an imperious eyebrow. “And yet I still manage to actually accomplish things in my day. It really makes one question your abilities.”

Donovan snatched his cue back up from where he had left it leaning against the table. “You go right ahead and do that,Your Highness. I’ll make sure you regret it.”

“... And I really don’t know what he was trying to accomplish with this, but he was actually nice for the rest of the game! And don’t tell him this, but he really is a good teacher. Noel improved dramatically as soon as they calmed down from their little bravery high.” Donovan griped, flopped lengthwise across his couch as he recounted the day to his friend.

Teleri hummed in acknowledgement before lifting the sword she was sharpening up to the light to check the edge. Seemingly satisfied, she set it aside and started polishing her gauntlets. “Darius trusts your judgement.” She commented offhandedly, then paused. “Well, no, ‘judgement’ is the wrong word there. As is ‘trust’. You know what, just throw that whole comment out, it doesn’t make sense.” She set her glove down on the table and pinned Donovan with an intense gaze. He ignored it. She ignored him ignoring it. “Darius doesn’t have the time to get to know all of his subjects individually. He takes his duties far too seriously for that. And he cannot be obviously invested in newcomers, it’ll make people talk and ruin what he’s planning. You have a true knack for finding the interesting ones, however, and you quickly get bored of monotony. So even if someone is interesting, if they wish to blend in and settle down you’ll get bored of them. And unlike Xyla, who has similar people skills, you’re not actually connected to Darius in any way. You don’t pay taxes, you swindle officials, and I think Cordelia would like to have you hung, but all of those are actually bonuses in Darius’s eyes. You are an excellent source of unusual skill sets and fascinating perspectives for him.”

Donovan narrowed his eyes at her. “I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

“Proud he trusts you, angry he’s using you, and uncertain about making his life simpler in this way if it has the potential to make other lives harder, probably.” Teleri replied off-handedly, going back to her gauntlets. She ignored both his sulk and his irritation, knowing she was right. “If it was King Minos I’d agree with you, nothing good is going to come of it. But Darius wants what’s best for his people. He wants Withergate to flourish. And he’s as concerned about Dynus’s influence as I am. Plus, you help him keep a finger on the pulse of who is unhappy here, so he can do things like clear out sections of the sewers or put a lock on rising housing prices.”

He digested that for a moment, before coming back to the biggest concern for him. “What does that mean for Noel?” He asked, aware that they were now firmly in the Prince’s attention.

“Probably nothing.” Teleri replied, frowning at a stubborn scoff. “He knows now that they are unique, talented, brave, and so very loyal, and he wants them loyal to him, but unless it comes to all out war between the cities, which it will not because I will never let it, he doesn't actually need Noel for anything. It goes both ways, though. If things go that thoroughly badly, he’ll be looking out for Noel just as much…because he’ll know they’re irreplaceable.”

Donovan blinked at her. “I’m not sure if that makes me feel better or not.” He admitted.

Teleri nodded at her gauntlet, seemingly satisfied. “Yeah, life’s like that. Never simple and never easy, but worth it anyway.”

#sun haven #my writing #Noel belongs to minnieposting #I hope I did them justice #Teleri belongs to me #this was meant to be funny but has instead ended up mostly soft #I hope you still get a giggle or two out of it

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