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joshsindigostreak · 2 months ago

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The Weight of Dreams

Demon!Josh x F!Reader

Authors Note: Happy Spooky Season everyone!! Lately I’ve been calling Josh a demon as a joke but something in my brain went, “write that down!” and thus this One Shot was born! Hope you enjoy him!

Word Count: 7.7k

Warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, 18+, PURE filth, there is a plot but you know what I mean, fingering, penetrative sex F!receiving, unprotected sex (but he’s a demon so?), oral sex F!Receiving, horn play (drew gooden voice, ‘I sure hope it does!’)

Incubi aren’t supposed to have regulars. They’re not supposed to have patterns. They’re supposed to skip around the ether and drop into human dreams like funnel clouds in the sky. Incubi and their Succubi counterparts all have their own agendas, feeding their primal urges since the first time a human fell asleep. If only humans knew the kind of catnip and candy that wafted into the universe from their subconscious.

In the hierarchy of Hell, Incubi aren’t that far up the food chain. High enough to be a nuisance but low enough that they could essentially do what they wanted. The Dukes, Princes and Kings had more important things to worry about than horny, slumbering humans.

One demon in particular was more chaotic than most. He was on the younger end for an Incubi, which often led to him shirking the “rules” of his kind in favor of whatever he wanted. He was a fucking Demon, another cog in the infernal machine that lurked beneath the earth. Who cares if he had an urban legend or two attached to his presence? If his equally demonic twin could be referred to as The Hat Man, then why couldn’t he continue on his nightly Hellish crusades and have fun while doing it?

What’s the worst that could happen?

On this ordinary Wednesday night, he was flitting about town to town, sniffing out any saucy dreams that intrigued him. Not all dreams were created equal, and there were enough humans on the planet that he could afford to be picky.

He was skating through the sky, invisible to the human eye. The only clue to his presence would be the occasional zap of a poDwer line or flickering streetlight. Power surges often happened if there were too many of his kind around, often confused with their Poltergeist cousins.

The Demon was about to give up on this and of town and move onto the next major city when he was nearly hit in the face with the force of a dream that made him skid to a halt. Like a bloodhound, he followed the trail to a nearby apartment, easily fitting through a cracked window and into the kitchen. The only sound that could be heard was the low chatter from a television in another room. The lustful energy beckoned him down the short hallway like bait on a hook.

Oh, this was going to be fun, he thought, a smirk forming on his face.

The only door on this end of the apartment was open, and the light of the television illuminated and flickered into the hall. With silent footsteps, he crept inside to see the source of the arousal that was practically vibrating the walls.

If only humans were aware of what their energy could do.

The bedroom was tiny and it took seconds to find the source of the intoxicating energy. To Incubi, energy had a taste and a smell that was a touch beyond human comprehension, like trying to see infrared light with the naked eye. It made the demon's eyes threaten to roll back the closer he got to the bed.

The human, a woman, rolled over in her bed, oblivious to the creature observing her. Her hair covered most of her face, and that’s when she made the most exquisite sound he had heard all night.

A tight, low, barely audible moan.

His entire being snapped to attention. He flexed his shoulders and silently walked towards the bed, satisfied he had found just the right dream to drop into. He gazed down at your slumbering form, noting your furrowed brow and pursed lips. He perched on the side of the bed, tentatively waiting for the right moment to drop in. It was more of an artform than even other Demons thought.

Your television was still on, and the light that projected onto the wall in front of him perfectly silhouetted his small horns that curled backwards on either side of his head. All Demons had horns, and they were as individual as a fingerprint. The more experienced the Demon, the larger and stronger they looked. As an Incubus, his weren’t much to write home about, but he hoped that one day they’d eventually curl around the back of his head like a ram, and maybe if he was bad enough, he’d earn his leathery, bat-like wings similar to the other higher up Demons he knew.

Slowly, his hand curled around your soft wrist, his head rolling back along with his dark eyes as your dream materialized in front of him.

A university library? Groundbreaking.

But there you were, reaching up towards a high shelf for a specific book and looking back over your shoulder, hoping the object of your fantasy would notice. Unfortunately for you, a Demon was in your dream now, and he was in the driverseat.

In this dream, your Demon was fully human in appearance. His horns were no longer visible, instead the main focus was his curly hair perfectly styled on top of his hair, and his eyes weren’t their usual black voids, but a dark brown that could see right through you. He slowly walked up behind you, allowing his footsteps to be heard on the hardwood floors. You looked back at him and there was a brief flash of confusion, but it quickly turned into a smirk as you raised your hand above you for whatever book you were trying to reach.

In dreams, Earth-bound laws and physics didn’t matter, so you were nonplussed when he was suddenly at your back, hands curling around your hips and lips lightly brushing the shell of your ear. One of his hands swept up your side and up your extended arm, his long fingers lacing yours and securing it against the bookshelf. The action had you shuddering against him, your ass perfectly wiggling against his front.

“Need some help?” He whispered, dragging his lips along your ear as he spoke.

Another shiver ran through you.

You turned your face towards him, feeling his breath on your cheek.

“Maybe a little…,” you purred back at him.

“Good thing I’m here then,” he said with a clear double meaning. The sheer arousal that was emanating off of you felt like a breath, no, a rush, of air into his lungs. The kind you take in after holding your breath for a long time. A low growl formed in his chest as he used the hand that was still wrapped around your hip to turn you around to face him.

Even though his natural state was glamoured to look human, his own personal style of thick black kohl rimming his eyes remained, and the way you were looking at him suggested you approved of said choice. Your shoulders melted against the stacks, but your pelvis pushed forwards towards his own. He gladly indulged you and rolled his hips right back, smirking at the way your breath caught in your throat.

You suddenly found both of your arms held above your head with one of his hands, while the other toyed with the hem of your skirt.

Because of course you were wearing a skirt in this dream.

The demon wedged his foot between yours, spreading your legs apart with an inhuman-like grace that had your lower lip sinking beneath your teeth�� and staring at him through your eyelashes.

The scenario was terribly cliched, but there was something about you that made the Incubi intrigued by it. He wanted to see how this played out.

The hand on your skirt disappeared under the fabric, lightly touching the flesh of your thigh. Another tremble shook your leg. You were so fucking sensitive, it was driving him insane.

You needed his touch.

His touch.

His fingertips drew patterns on your skin as he made his way up to where you needed him most. However, even though he was technically a Demon, he still had a shred of ethics about him, and he paused his hand.

“Tell me what you want,” he requested in a rough voice.

Your eyebrows twitched a little at the question, but you answered quickly, “you.”

That wasn’t good enough for him, though.

“Are you sure?”

Your breathing got even heavier, “yes.”

With that, he surged forward and crashed his lips onto yours, realizing he himself was dying for a taste too. His hand flattened against your thigh, kneading your flesh before continuing upwards. His fingertips were met with soft lace, and before he could fully toy with it, it vanished.

He hadn’t been the one to do that.

You did, taking back control of the dream.

Oh…

The Incubi smiled against your lips, and relinquished his control over your dreamland. He was officially the passenger now, and he wanted to see what you could come up with.

With your lace panties freshly vanished, you spread your legs even farther and tilted your hips forward, practically offering your drenched pussy to him.

The heat he could feel coming off of you had his fingers shaking, and he wasted no time to slide his fingers through your slit. Your arousal coated his digits as he familiarized himself with every crease and fold you had, mentally mapping it out and trying to memorize you. Your flesh was so soft to him, a whimper threatened to escape his throat as he parted your mouth and slipped his tongue inside.

He teased your entrance briefly, before sliding upwards to your clit. He rolled the swollen bud between his fingers, and he pulled back from your face just far enough to ear you cry out.

That beautiful sound, he thought. He needed to hear it again.

It sent a jolt through his body not only in the dream but back in your bedroom as he sat next to you. His hand gripped your wrist a little tighter, not wanting to risk losing the connection.

His thumb was planted on your clit, sloppily circling it and giving it just the right amount of pressure, letting your mewling sounds and jolts of energy guide him. His middle fingers teased your entrance one more time before slowly slipping inside, enjoying the stretch almost more than you did. You were dripping down his hand at this point, and he wished for a second that he could feel it in person as opposed to in a dream like this, but he brushed the thought away as you threw your head back and gasped as the tip of his fingers curled upwards and grazed your g-spot.

The cheeky side of him wanted to tease you more, make you desperate and whiney, but you had other plans. Even in your heightened state, you still had enough wherewithal to wait until his fingers curled just right to clench around them and hold them where you wanted them as you grinded back down onto his hand.

The Incubus’s eyes flew open and he watched you wrench one of your hands from his grip above you and send it down to cup his own arousal through the jeans he had decided on for this dream. He bucked into your hand and bit down on your lower lip, a hint of frustration evident in the strangled sound coming from his throat. He released your other hand to grip what little of the bookshelf he could, while your newly free hand immediately went for the curls at the nape of his neck and tangled them around your fingers. This sent a fresh whine from the Incubus, and his resolve was threatening to give way. Part of him wanted to take back control, let you know who was steering this dream, but the other part of him was so intrigued by your assertiveness that he was this close to completely surrendering to you and drowning in your energy and rendering him pathetic in the eyes of other demons.

The thumb on your clit increased its speed and your own movements against his hand began to get sloppy. You felt your high bubbling up inside you, and there wasn’t a single cell in your body that was going to get in the way of it. Your walls clenched even harder onto his fingers, to the point where they could barely move but neither of you cared.

“Come on…give it to me…,” was roughly whispered against your mouth as his thumb harshly pressed down on your clit, and with a cry your vision went white and you shattered around his hand. For what seemed like minutes you convulsed and shook for him, shouting expletives to the ceiling as you didn’t even know his name.

Now this was when any other Incubus with a modicum of common sense and decorum would swiftly exit the dream and jet off to the next human of the night, but he wasn’t ready to leave. The longer an Incubus occupied a human's dream, the bigger the risk of them becoming a memory. The standard practice was to give and feed off a singular orgasm from whatever human, and then never see the same one again. That way humans wrote off their naughty dreams as hormonal build ups and mundane desire, nothing more. They’re meant to be mischievous phantoms, not figures haunting your dreams. There were other Demons for that.

Instead, he continued to breathe raggedly against your cheek as he worked you through your orgasm. As you came down, he reluctantly withdrew his fingers from your core, and popped them in his mouth, wanting to savor your release for himself.

Your eyes met, and you both seemed to be silently asking the same question of, “who are you?”

He couldn’t leave. He wanted to truly have you. What’s the point in being a Demon if you didn’t break the rules? Who put those rules in place in the first place? They could go fuck themselves. Even if he could only feel you wrapped up around him in a dream and never in the real world, he needed it.

His still-damp fingers gripped your shirt and nearly ripped it off your head before doing the same with his own shirt.

His enthusiasm surprised you and you held back a giggle as you took turns getting your clothes off as fast as possible. The Incubus’s lips locked back onto yours, and the faint taste of you still lingered in his tongue. He reached down and gripped the back of your thighs, lifting you easily against the stack. The shelves and books dug into your back but you welcomed it as he lined himself up with your entrance.

The feeling of his thick head gliding through your folds was brief before he sheathed himself inside you. The force and sensation had you biting down on his bottom lip harder than you should have but you were too focused on the sudden fullness you felt to care. Your eyes were rolled back into your head as you adjusted to him.

The Incubus inside you was gripping your hips like he was afraid you’d float away if he let go. He thought he had been prepared for this but the softness of your walls, the way you squeezed him, and the force of you biting down onto his lip had him uncharacteristically dizzy. He leaned his forehead against yours, letting his lip rest between your teeth as he remained still inside you.

You released his lip and whispered, “I need you to move…”

His eyes darted up to you and bore into yours as he reared back and slammed back in, causing you to arch your back away from the shelves. The Incubus dipped his head and took one of your nipples into his mouth, humming around it as he picked up his pace.

The both of you pawed at each other as you moved together, nails digging into skin and teeth nipping and biting wherever they could reach. This wasn’t the time or place to go slow, and you both knew it. This dream was driven by need.

It wasn’t long before your second high crept up on you. At some point a hand made its way in between you and was working your clit feverishly, By now you were a mess of bleary eyes and sweaty limbs. You couldn’t form words as he pounded into you, clinging onto him after giving up the idea you could meet his thrusts.

“You gonna let me have it again?” He spoke into your ear before leaving an open mouth kiss on the space just under it. “Let me feel it this way?”

Oh, it was inevitable, you could feel the coil inside you tightening up like a spring, and any moment now it was going to snap.

“I wish you knew how good you f-feel,” a growl rumbled in his chest, interrupting him, “squeezing…me…”

You tried to respond, but all that came out of your mouth was a reedy sigh.

“Look at you, dumb for it,” he teased as he tilted his hips, causing his cock to hit an even more delicious spot deep within you.

It was too much. You were too overwhelmed. Between the tight grip on your ass, the kisses along your neck, the thumb working your clit, and the angle and force behind his moments, you were a goner.

He felt you tighten up even more first, and your walls started fluttering around him as your legs shook on either side of his hips. Your mouth fell open in a silent scream, but you forced your eyes to stay open the whole time. With one last look into your watery eyes, he slammed himself into you one final time before he emptied himself.

His eyes snapped open, and he remembered where he actually was: in your bedroom. He slowly let go of your wrist, severing the connection completely.

It was over.

The Incubus stood up, backing away from your bed and watching you roll over onto your stomach. He needed to leave. He had been there for far too long. The energy from your dream was still roaring through his body, and your television was starting to flicker because of it. He couldn’t risk being seen. No, that was a rule he could not break.

“Goodnight, Sweet Dreamer,” he whispered before exiting your apartment the way he came and into the night.

~!~

That was eight months ago, and the Incubus lasted two weeks before he came crawling back to your Dreamland. That dream was a little more creative, the both of you ending up making out at some nondescript house party, kicking red solo cups out of the way as you backed him up against a wall.

A week later, you were in some corn maze, and like most dreams it was confusing at first at who was trying to find who, but you ended up jumping on him in the center of the maze surrounded by bunnies and a pumpkin patch.

A notable one was where the Demon was a rock star, and he had you bent over a couch in some random green room of a stadium. That one was fun.

He tried, he really tried to keep his visits random and not too close together, but he failed miserably. At this point, he was a reaccuring dream to you, and he was starting to feel bad because you still didn’t know what he was.

He tried keeping himself distracted by hanging around in a pocket dimension in Hell that his brothers were fond of. It was one they often found themselves at because of the quiet atmosphere compared to the rest of Hell. It wasn’t anything fancy, but a seemingly endless bar where a Demon could sit down, order any little treat they wanted, and relax after a long day.

The four Demons were sitting at their usual table, catching up and sipping their respective beverages.

“Are you actually going to drink that, Josh?” His twin teased as the Incubus had been sat at the table with the low ball glass held against the side of his forehead white he leaned on his elbow. The chilled beverage was refreshing resting where his ebony horn protruded from his forehead.

“Leave me alone,” he mumbled before bringing the glass to his lips and taking a gulp.

His twin, Jake, snickered across the table, “what’s gotten into you lately anyway?”

Josh gave him a hard look, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Please. You haven’t been out in forever and whenever you are with us you look like a kicked puppy.”

“Have you considered that you might be the reason for that?”

Jake’s mouth twisted into a frown, he knew better.

“Anyway,” Josh announced, trying to change the subject, “we’re here to celebrate Daniel’s promotion!” He turned to his left and gestured at the tall curly haired demon. His newly-grown leathery wings flexed at the attention. He still wasn’t used to having them yet.

In Hell, certain physical attributes were only obtained from being “promoted.” Otherwise known as making the right deals with the right Demons and having connections. Out of the four of them, he was the first one to achieve wing-status. The rest of them just had their horns that they were born with.

Josh hoped to have wings one day but it was rare for Incubi to get the opportunity.

“How do they feel?” The other brother, Sam, asked on Josh’s right. Sam was the youngest out of the four but he had a prowess and drive that made it obvious that his wings weren’t far behind Danny’s. It made the obvious competition between the two oldest twins even more tense at times.

“They feel great, honestly but they’re awkward as fuck at times.” He looked down as the farthest point of his wings kept brushing the floor from where he sat.

They settled back down into idle chatter, but Jake was not satisfied with Josh’s earlier answer. He wasn’t going to pry with everyone there, so he waited until Sam and Danny took off for whatever mischief and turmoil they had up their sleeves.

Jake was flat out concerned with his twin, “tell me what’s really going on,” he pressed in a soft voice once they were alone.

Josh sighed. Keeping the last eight months a secret from everyone, even Jake, was one of the hardest things he had done. Keeping something like this from his brother was making the situation even worse.

“I did something…well, I’ve been doing something…” he muttered while staring at the ice cubes of his drink.

Jake nearly snorted, “of course you have, you’re fucking a Demon for Lucifer’s sake.”

Josh shook his head, “no…it's not something like that.” He took a deep breath and continued, “there’s this girl, well, human girl, and-”

His twin sighed heavily, “not a human, Josh…”

Josh gave him a warning look, “are you going to let me talk, Jake?”

“Fine. Explain.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be anything, I promise,” the Incubus went on to tell Jake a summary of the last few months, keeping most of the salacious details to himself. But the way his dark eyes lit up as he described you, dropping details he had learned from your dreams, listing parts of your personality that you didn’t show to anyone else due to your subconscious, gave his emotions away.

“She’s just a random human, you’ll get over it and find something else to obsess over,” Jake concluded, not wanting to encourage this.

“Is that really all that you took from that? I don’t want to get over her.”

“Are you in love with this human, Josh?”

The silence from across the table gave the Demon his answer.

“Does she know what you are, then?”

Another beat of silence, this time Josh swallowed the rest of his drink and sat the glass on the table in a clank.

“This is not going to end well, man.”

Josh gave Jake another withering look, “don’t you think I know that?”

Jake’s eyes softened, as did his voice, “you should’ve told me sooner.”

“...and get lectured by you? No thank you.”

“I wouldn’t-,” he sighed, “I wouldn’t have lectured you. I just know how you’ll be if she ends up getting hurt from this. You’re not fun to be around when you’re guilt-ridden. I don’t like seeing you that way.”

What Josh hadn’t told him, was that you had seen parts of Josh he kept hidden from others too. After the first month or two, your dreams weren’t always overtly sexual. The two of you did talk sometimes, but not a lot. You learned each other’s names finally, and you hadn’t batted an eye at his name since it was so common. The banter you shared was easy; he even made you laugh more often than not. Falling in love with you wasn’t part of the plan, but it crept up on him, and he didn’t have the willpower to fight it. He didn’t want to.

“You’re seeing her tonight, aren’t you?”

This time he avoided Jake’s gaze, but he answered, “I wanted to, yeah.”

“Just be careful? Ok?”

Josh looked up and nodded at his brother, before disappearing from his seat and reappearing outside your house. It was nearly three AM in your time zone, and he knew you were fast asleep. He stared up at the window he had come to know was your bedroom, The television light flickered and flashed. You always needed background noise to sleep, he had learned.

In a blink he was in your room, staring down at your sleeping form. The slight pout on your lips made him smile. He sat down and took your hand and started to drop into your Dreamland. He had been so focused on you that he had missed the book, “Lucid Dreaming: Easier than you Think!” resting on your nightstand.

The scene before him was charming. Josh found himself standing in a forest, surrounded by green trees and the ambient sounds of nature. The path he was on led to a quaint A-frame cabin in the middle of a clearing. The lights were on inside, and he knew you were in there.

As he opened the door to the cabin, he found you sitting on a couch with a book in your lap. You looked up at him and smiled warmly.

“Hey you.”

He smiled back and made his way to the couch and sat down. You threw your book to the side and moved to straddle his lap, smile growing even wider at being with him again. His hands reached up to cradle your face as you melted into his kiss. It felt so normal to see you again, so familiar, Josh didn’t even sense the change in your demeanor.

The two of you made out for a good while, before you pulled back to look at him.

“Took you long enough to get here, you’re a little late tonight.”

That was an oddly pointed question, but he tried to play it off, “I am?”

You sat back on his thighs and draped your arms on his shoulders, “Yeah. Normally you’re here earlier.”

Josh shifted awkwardly beneath you. This was different. You were still you of course, but something was off. He wanted to keep playing along, but he didn’t want to make it worse.

“You don’t feel real sometimes,” you started before kissing him again. His hands gripped your hips in the way he knew you loved, and he started to relax against you, but you pulled back and asked, “are you real, Josh?”

He froze, his eyes stared into yours, unsure how to answer.

“I-”

“They say that every face you see in your dreams isn’t new, that it’s always someone you’ve seen before even for just a second, and I can tell you with confidence that I had never seen you before that night.”

Oh, shit. You had always taken the reins in your dreams, but not like this. This was more direct. This was…lucid.

He whispered your name, before confessing, “..yes…I’m real…”

You pulled back a little further to get a better look at him, “then what are you?”

This was it. This was when he had to come clean. You had purposefully set a trap for him, knowing he couldn’t resist you. He wasn’t even going to fight it, because it was completely his fault.

He reached up and touched the side of your face, his thumb finding its home on your cheek, “my sweet dreamer…I-”

“Don’t call me that right now. Tell me the truth.” Your whole body was tense and rigid, as if you were bracing yourself for his answer. A good call on your part.

He took a few deep breaths, “I’m…I’m an Incubus, love.”

You stared at him, unmoving.

“Which is a kind of-”

“Demon?” you finished. When he nodded, you scrambled off of his lap and backed away from him, standing in front of the cabin's fireplace. Several different emotions swept through you, “you don’t work for the Devil, do you?”

Josh straightened up in his seat, “no of course not, He’s very picky about who he works with and there’s no way he’d entertain even looking at someone of my rank.”

“So Hell is real?”

“Yes.”

You looked at your feet, “does that…does that make you evil, Josh?”

His face started to heat up but he explained, “the concept of “good” or “evil” is a very human one, my love. It’s not that simple. Demons…we’re not ‘evil’ in the way humans make us out to be, just like Angels,” he made a face at the mention of such creatures, “aren’t inherently ‘good’ either.”

“Angels are bad?”

“I wouldn’t say bad…but they’re annoying to run into. They’re more vengeful than people think.”

You stood there silently, taking it all in.

The Demon before you continued, “you can’t think of Heaven and Hell being opposites of each other. They’re more like…different neighborhoods on either side of the same town, so to speak.”

“Well…you wouldn’t be the first Demon named Josh that I’ve met…,” your poor attempt at a joke to break the tension didn’t land very well, but your face softened towards him.

Now it was his turn to look down at the floor, “if you never want to see me again, I understand and I’ll respect th-”

“Can we only meet here, in dreams?”

He stared at you, “no…I exist in all realms, not just the Dreamlands.”

You sniffed and squared your shoulders, “good. Now let me wake up.”

The panic set in, you didn’t know that he looked a little…different in the waking world, “No, no you don’t have to-”

But it was too late. The Incubus was catapulted from your Dreamland and sent back to the earthly plane with a force that nearly sent him to the floor of your room. The connection was severed, and you were starting to stir in your sleep and sit up. The room was pitch black except for the glow coming from the television. It cast Josh in a perfect silhouette, but the inevitable was coming.

You reached for your lamp, still a little bleary eyed from sleep when his voice stopped you.

“Wait, love,” He sounded exactly the same as he did in your dreams, and being able to hear him with your actual ears made your chest tighten and warm.

“What?” you asked, confused.

“I just…I look a little different than how you’ve seen me…,” his voice was so soft, almost defeated. “I just don’t want to scare you any more than I already have.”

“I’m a big girl, Josh.”

“I know, I know love, I just-”

You didn’t let him finish before you clicked on your lamp, illuminating the small room. Before you looked up you turned off the tv, blindly pointing the remote at the screen. The only sound you could hear was your own breathing, and his.

Slowly, your eyes lifted up to look at the Demon sitting at the foot of your bed. He wasn’t so different from your dreams, his kohl rimmed eyes were still their warm brown, his hair was still curly and unruly, the shaved sides accompanied by two black horns-

Horns?

They were black, a little shiny under the light, and curved backwards into his curls. It was certainly different, but they looked perfect with his sweet face.

“You were worried about your horns?”

HIs face reddened and he finally looked up at you, “M-my eyes also look different…but I didn’t want to throw too much at you all at once….”

“Josh, show me.”

He took a breath, and allowed his true eyes to appear. They were fully black, exaggerated by the kohl that lined them. The combination of his eyes and the horns certainly completed the demonic look, but it didn’t scare you.

In fact, you felt a little emboldened, and threw your covers off your lap and got onto your knees. Slowly, you crawled down your bed to him before straightening back up, making him look up at you. The black voids were lined with worry, as if he was waiting for you to scream, run, or both. Instead, you gently placed your hands on his cheeks. He relaxed slightly in your hands.

“They’re beautiful, Josh,” your comforting words were referring to both his horns and his eyes.

This made his shoulders relax and he melted his cheek into your hand, “they’re not too much, love?”

You smiled, “honestly I was preparing myself for hooves and a tail.”

The Incubus made a disgusted face, “I might be a Demon but I am not a Satyr.”

His tone made you laugh, “ok then. Can I touch them?” Your hand raised towards one of his horns.

You wanted to touch them? He nodded and cast his eyes down.

Tentatively your fingertips grazed the hard, ebony surface. The touch alone made him shiver, as his horns were sensitive. It had been awhile since someone had truly touched them like this.

“Do you like that?”

He looked back up at you, “yes…”

Your fingers fully ran up the horn to the tip and back, truly feeling it. You noticed the action had him breathing a little heavier, and you softly wrapped your whole hand around it. The Demon made a sound low in his chest, almost like a purr.

“They’re really sensitive, huh?”

“You have no idea…” He paused, “Like I said earlier, if you want me to leave I’ll respect that.”

You smiled and straddled his lap, facing him straight on now.

“Kiss me, Josh.”

He couldn’t believe what was happening. You weren't running, you weren’t scared, you still wanted him. Josh nearly crashed his lips onto yours, relief flooding his system.

You melted into him like you always did, and being able to feel each other in the corporal world was even better than the Dreamlands. He felt so solid against you, his curls were even softer as you tangled your fingers in them.

Soon, you felt yourself get pushed back onto your bed, your Demon climbing on top of you. It felt so natural to do so, as you technically had done this with him dozens of times, but this time it was real. You could take your time with each other and actually mean it, as time moved differently in dreams. Now you could feel him minute by minute, and the thought had your heart racing.

His lips found yours again, and you were both focused on truly feeling each other for the first time in the physical realm. There was no rush, no deadline, no anxiety of the dream shifting or changing, it was just the two of you, in your bedroom. His weight on top of you felt so comforting and familiar. He left a trail of kisses down your jaw to your neck, landing on your pulsepoint and sucking the skin into his mouth harshly. You arched your back and grinded up into him. You felt his lips smile against your skin as he grinded down on you, and his arousal certainly felt the same as it did in your dreams. He hadn’t been exaggerating.

His hands reached under the raggedy t-shirt you had slept in, before looking back up at you for permission. You nodded and he nearly ripped the shirt off your body, sending it into the corner of your room.

“Do I look the same?” The question left your lips before you could stop it.

His eyes swept your form, seeing your hair fanned out underneath you, no makeup on as you often did in your dreams, his breath caught in his chest. He looked over your body, counting each freckle and mole, making sure each and every one was still there. Over the last few months he had memorized them all, wanting the image of you permanently fixed on the back of his eyelids.

“Even better, my love,” he said sincerely before capturing your lips once again, pouring his built up emotions into the kiss. He then started kissing his way down your body, giving attention to both breasts before kissing down to the edge of your panties. His fingers hooked onto the sides and pulled them down. You lifted your hips to get them off all the way, and they were thrown behind him blindly.

His dark gaze landed on your pussy, the hunger in his eyes evident as he spread your legs apart. He couldn’t hold back anymore and quickly descended upon your core. His tongue flattened out and spread your folds apart, and the taste that flooded his mouth had him groaning into your body and grinding his hips onto your bed.

Your breath caught at the sudden sensation, but you bucked into his mouth as his tongue found your clit, needing more friction from him. As he devoured you, the sight of his horns on top of his head sent another wave of pleasure through your body. Curiosity drove your hands to lightly wrap around each of them, pulling downwards slightly to steer his face further into your pussy. Your folds practically fluttered from the force of the moan that left his mouth.

So you did it again.

And again.

Until you were crying out his name as your orgasm took over.

Josh barely gave you a chance to recover as he crawled back up your body, using his own magic to vanish the clothes he had on on the way up. His lips greedily crashed into yours, while his hand hooked your leg around his hip. His other hand reached down for his cock, running it through your folds.

The new, yet familiar feeling of is cock at your entrance sent a shiver through you, and you grabbed his face in your hands, “please, Josh,”

He couldn”t help but be cheeky, “you want it, love?”

Your eyes narrowed, “show me what kind of Demon you really are.”

As if it was possible, his eyes got even darker at your request and he slammed himself inside you, nearly pushing you farther up the bed. It was his turn to cry out at the feel of you. His pace was brutal, but it was what you wanted. You locked your legs around him at the small of his back and clung to him while your lips peppered kisses up and down his neck, along his jaw, nipping at the skin here or there with your teeth.

Your Demon knew you better than the back of his hand, and he was going to prove it before the night was over. He continued to slam into you, angling his hips in the way he knew you loved, grinding his pelvic bone perfectly onto your clit. Your nails dug into his back in response and that spurred him on even more, loving that he could turn you into such a mess this way.

You were so close, teetering on the brink of your orgasm. One final grind on your clit with his pelvis had your back arching even harder, and you shattered beneath him. Your legs shook and your walls clenched around him. He continued slamming into you, chasing his own high and working you through yours.

You were starting to come down when your gaze landed on his horns, and a thought ran through your mind. Your hands grasped his face and pulled it down as if you were going to kiss his lips, but instead you bypassed them and flattened your tongue on the front side of his left horn. Josh shuddered violently against you and he twitched inside of you. His hips thrusted one final time before he emptied himself as deep as he could.

Not wanting to miss your chance, you blew some air onto the wet spot your tongue left behind on his horn, causing him to shudder again as he came down. He chuckled against your chest as he laid his head down, trying to catch his breath.

For several minutes, the two of you stayed tangled up in each other, not wanting to leave the little bubble you had created. This time, Josh wasn’t forced away from you because of your dream. He could lay there as long as you wanted him to.

You were too exhausted to even attempt to move, so you relished his weight on you. Cleaning up wasn’t something you ever had to worry about in your dreams, but here in the real world it was an issue, and you felt his release start to leak out of you.

“Josh…” you whispered.

He got the hint immediately and slowly withdrew from you, looking down at your combined releases for a second before disappearing into your hallway for your bathroom. Your apartment was small enough that it was the only other door available and he quickly returned with a warm washcloth to clean you both up.

Minutes later you were both back under your covers, your head laying on his chest as your fingers drew tiny patterns onto his skin. He could tell you were trying to stay awake.

“You need your sleep, my sweet dreamer,” he whispered into your hair before dropping a kiss onto your head.

“Would you be there to greet me?”

He smiled into the dark, “I could…but I like being out here with you better.”

You let out a yawn and relaxed further into his chest. You reached for his hand and held it to your lips, brushing them against his knuckles before holding it on his chest. You didn’t know what any of this meant for you, but what the Demon in your bed didn’t know was that in the last eight months, you hadn’t had a single nightmare or bad nights sleep, and your intuition was sure it was because of him.

“Will you stay?”

“For as long as you want me to, my love.”

His lips brushed against your forehead one last time before the both of you drifted off to sleep, not knowing what the future held for you both but knowing it was going to be better with each other in it.

Epilogue:

One human year later…

“Close your eyes, my love,” Josh said behind you.

“What are you surprising me with this time?” You laughed as you did as you were told.

“You’ll see. It's something I’ve been working on for quite some time.” The excitement and pride in his voice was evident. His footsteps came around in front of you, and your brows furrowed wondering what on earth it could be. He took a deep breath, “ok, open them.”

Your eyes fluttered open and then immediately grew wide at the sight in front of you. There, in your living room, was your boyfriend, your Demon boyfriend, standing proudly with a new pair of bat-like wings protruding from his back.

“How did you-”

“I knew a guy who knew a guy that was friends with another guy who needed a few favors and I volunteered. I didn’t realize he was a fucking Prince of Hell and he was so impressed by our little mission that he uhh…gave me a promotion.”

Your mouth fell open, you knew he had been away a lot in the last couple months due to “Demon business” but he had kept parts of it vague. It was probably the one part of him you were still getting used to, but you trusted him enough by now that you weren’t too worried when he was gone for a couple weeks at a time.

“So what does that mean for you…?”

He took another breath and stepped towards you, slipping his hand into yours, “I’m no longer an Incubus, love.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion, “well then what are you?”

“Essentially, I collect souls now and not dreams.”

“Pardon?”

“When a person makes a deal with a Demon more often than not they sell their souls to them. Basically, when their time is up I get to take them to whomever they made their deal with and they get dealt with accordingly.”

You were still a little skeptical, “that sounds awfully busy…”

He shook his head, “no this is a good thing, I get more ‘surface time’ with you now! I won’t be away as much.” He was full on grinning now and his dimple sank deeply into his cheek.

Your eyes traveled from his sweet face to his new wings, the sunlight showing through the thin skin. He flexed them slightly under your gaze, happy you weren’t grossed out by them. Much like a year prior with his horns, you reached forward and grazed your fingertips on the surface of one. It twitched slightly under your touch and you looked back at your Demon. From the outside looking in, it was odd to be proud of your boyfriend's Demonic accomplishments, but you couldn’t help it. You leapt into his arms and kissed him, smiling against his lips as he held your hips and wrapped your legs around his waist.

Who would’ve thought that a Demon would make your dreams literally come true?

Fin

Tag List: @dannyandthekiszkas , @readyforthegarden , @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine , @wideminded-dreamer , @runwayblues , @wildbluesorbit , @llightmyllovee , @rhythm-of-space , @sacredthefran , @writingcold , @alwaysonthemend , @wetkleenex-gvf , @josh-iamyour-mama , @lightsofthe-living-gvf , @gvfcinema, @sacredthethreadgvf , @losfacedevil , @jakekiszkasbuttsweat , @shutupdevvie , @hearts-hunger , @gretavanfleetposts , @ascendingtostardust , @mackalah , @andromeda-raine-gvf , @jake-kiszkas-smirk , @gracev0609 , @sacredjake , @earthlysorrows , @gvfpal , @myownparadise96 , @itsafullmoon , @gvfmelbourne, @twistedmelodies , @that-witchy-pan , @gold-mines-melting , @texas-bbq-pringles , @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface , @childinthegardenn , @char289 , @stardustvanfleet , @sunfl0wer-power , @holdingup-fallingsky , @bladenotblaze , @gretavanlace , @lipstickitty , @jjwasneverhere , @josiee-gvf , @peaceloveunitygvf , @musicislove3389 , @gretavanhockey , @gretavanazula

#josh kiszka #greta van fleet #josh gvf #demon!Josh #josh kiszka x reader #one shot #accidental romance #the weight of dreams #my fics #my writing #demon fic #smut fic

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builtbybrokenbells · 2 years ago

Text

ah how else to introduce myself other than to write the most basic of tropes for you all 😌

Complicated

Childhood friendships are fantastic. A lifetime of shared jokes and stories. A certain way to maintain sanity while growing up in a small town. However, fantastic can be quite a subject term, especially when you’re in love with your best friends brother.

pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader

word count: just shy of 14k

warnings: making out, mentions of sex (but alas, none), alcohol consumption, use of wacky tobacky, embarrassing high school crushes (deserves a warning of its own)

sorry for any grammatical errors!! please be kind 💕

Complicated. That was the only way you could describe your feelings for him. It was funny, at first. You never minded being the brunt of the jokes for a week or two, but when the weeks turned into months, and eventually years, it had begun to get old, and the joke had long ran its course. Although you’d never outright admitted how you felt for him, anyone with a working pair of eyes and/or ears could infer. The blushing, the stuttering, the gazes that were casted for just a moment too long. It was all textbook signs of a case of the lovesick blues. And your friends seemed to find it hilarious. But it wasn’t. You were in love with your best friends brother, and there was no world where you could believe he loved you back.

It started all of those years ago on the porch of your childhood home. Your group of friends had decided to go for a swim on the sweltering summer day. Somewhere between the lines of middle school ending and that fateful day in august, he somehow turned into more than just your best friends brother. He was Jake. Jake, with the stupid grin, and the pretty eyes, and the nice arms (they weren’t really that nice back then, but to a fourteen year old, they were for sure the best you’d ever seen). He wasn’t just an extension of Josh anymore, the separate entity that encased all of the same loveable traits as your best friend. He was Jake, with his own traits that you weren’t sure had always been there, or had suddenly developed overnight. His own jokes, and his own distinct laugh that was more than music to your ears, and his his newly found theoretical hold he had you in. And he was breathtaking.

“Hey, Sunny!” Josh yelled from the pool in your backyard. “When you’re finished checking my brother out, feel free to join us!” He’d shouted, splashing a handful of water at you. This caused a chorus of laughter from the group of boys. Your cheeks burned crimson and you wanted to curl up in the corner and pass away. Luckily, Jake caught your gaze and smiled at you, making a motion with his head as if to tell you to jump in. Your embarrassment fizzled, replaced with eagerness to join your friends. By the time the sun started to set, you thought the staring had been long forgotten. Boy, we’re you wrong.

The next joke had been made that same night as you settled into your sleeping bags in the basement of your home. You were nestled on the pullout couch, squeezed in with Josh and Jake. Sam and Danny had sprawled out on the air mattress. “Did you want me to sleep on the air mattress?” Josh asked as you shifted to get comfortable.

“No, why?” You had taken it as an honest question.

“I just thought that maybe you’d like some alone time with Jake,” he giggled. You rolled your eyes and smacked him on the arm while the room filled with laughter.

“Ha! Clever! You should be proud of that one.” You patronized. After a few moments of small chatter, sounds of snores filled the room, but you couldn’t sleep. You stayed silent while gazing up at the ceiling, hoping Jake wasn’t weirded out by Josh’s antics. Somewhere in the midst of your thinking, Josh had tumbled off the couch to find his way to the bathroom. When Jake spoke, it startled you.

“Don’t listen to him, Sunny. He’s just being an ass.” He reassured you.

“Thanks, Jakey. I know what he’s like, it’s okay.” In the darkness, Jake’s hand reached out to meet yours. He gave it a short-lived, reassuring squeeze before turning on his opposite side, back facing you. You fell asleep with a smile on your face before Josh even returned.

The jokes fizzled out by the time school rolled around, the boys quickly finding another subject to fixate on. High school starting was exciting, yet intimidating, but grew to be routine once the novelty wore off. Things became easier when you had all realized that nothing really changed. At the end of the day, you all still had sleepovers and movie nights and relied on each other above anyone else.

The staring sessions had only worsened over the course of your freshman year of high school. Now, from across the classroom, or the lunch table, or maybe over the top of a textbook. You still got red in the face when you finished conversations with Jake, or when your hands brushed unexpectedly, but you had never admitted you had feelings for him, even to yourself. As far as you were concerned, it was just nervousness because it was the first time you saw a boy as something attractive, rather than just annoying.

That year, you and Josh went to the homecoming dance together. He wore a tacky suit with a bow tie that matched your abhorrently pink dress. The pictures were terrible, but the memory was fantastic. Although, you spent the whole night wondering what it would’ve felt like to slow dance with Jake. Josh still continued on with his absentminded teasing, and instead of getting flustered, you brushed it off and avoided it as if it were a profession. Josh had no idea that you had real feelings developing for his brother, feelings that were barreling towards you at the speed of light. You never mentioned it, and he never thought to ask. And that was that. Nothing changed in the slightest until the eleventh grade.

You had been laying your head on Josh’s lap, his hands laced intricately in your hair while music played softly in the background. You chattered absentmindedly about a new film he had discovered. To any onlooker, the scene would be plastered with romantic implications. To you guys, it was nothing short of normal. The thought of viewing Josh Kiszka in any intimate way made your stomach turn, and his as well. He would always be your best friend, your lifeline, as you would be his. It was written that way in the stars. Nothing more than two lost souls navigating life alongside each other, rather than intertwined.

The rain pelted the windows softly, enveloping the home in a coziness that was hard to describe. One that was almost untouchable. But, of course, there is always an exception. The sound of a closing door and a round of giggling expelled through the thin walls that separated Jake and Josh’s room. You looked up at your friend with a questioning gaze. He shrugged. “Jake and his new girlfriend, probably.” The words rolled off his tongue so smoothly, as if they had no meaning at all. You were perplexed that he could say that so easily when to you, the words were stronger than a punch to the jaw. Laced with venom and scripted perfectly just to hurt you.

“G-girlfriend?” You tried to swallow your stutter. He nodded, not seeming to notice. “oh,” you whispered, unable to produce a sound any louder. After a few moments of silence and gut-wrenching sadness, you made a move to stand. The giddy chatter and soft giggles from the room next door were actually quite sweet sounding, but to you, they were nothing short of nails on a chalkboard. Josh was startled at your suddenness, not understanding how the mood shifted so drastically.

“What’s wrong, y/n?” He asked. You tumbled backwards toward his bedroom door. He stood to follow, but you vanished into the hallway before he could say anything else. You would have been in the clear, free to run and cry in solitude, if not for Sam’s lanky presence looming in the hallways. You had bumped into him midst your getaway, and he, being the type of guy he is, couldn’t let you leave without talking to you.

“Sunny! I didn’t know you were here.” He boomed, always happy to be in someone’s company. “Sunny?” He asked as you pushed past him. He looked back at Josh, who had followed you out of his room. He motioned to you, speed walking away, asking a silent question to his brother. Josh ignored him as well, running after you. “Fantastic, nice to see you guys too, I guess!” Sam’s voice echoed through the home. Always something snarky from him. You would’ve laughed had you not been so distraught.

“Dammit, y/n, stop!” Josh said, following you into the driveway. You knew you couldn’t escape him so you came to a stop, not turning to look at him yet. Tears were pooling in your eyes and your lip was quivering. Josh caught up to you, grabbing your shoulders and spinning you around to look at him. When he saw your expression, everything seemed to click into place for him, like he had found the missing piece to the puzzle. “Oh, sunny,” he whispered, pulling you into a hug. “How long?” He asked. You let out a quiet sob into his shirt.

“Since that day by the pool, the summer before high school.” You whispered. You never said the words, never genuinely admitted it, but he knew exactly what you meant.

•

Jake’s new found relationship only lasted a few weeks, but to you it felt like eternity. You had done your very best to avoid him without being questioned about it. You’d take not seeing him at all over watching him with another girl. Admittedly, you knew that Jake had shown interest in almost every girl in your grade except for you, and that you should probably take it as a sign to move on. Of course, knowing what you should do and actually doing it are two very different things. When the end of eleventh grade rolled around and Jake had yet to find another girlfriend, you had found yourself embarrassingly happy.

“Do you have a partner for the year-end English project?” Josh asked you from his bed. You were sitting at his desk, jotting some homework down. You looked over to him, knowing you should have recognized the mischievous glint in his eye, but responding anyway.

“No, I was kind of assuming you and I would partner up. You know, like every other project we’ve done in the last eleven years.” You rolled your eyes.

“Ah, yeah,” he nodded, looking past you know, formulating his response. “Well, I was actually planning on doing my project with Jess this time.” You had given him an incredulous look at the statement.

“Oh, so you’re replacing me?” You placed a hand over your heart in mock hurt.

“Not exactly, sunflower.” He said, sitting up now. You watched him, nervously waiting for him to continue. “It’s just that you and I are much too talented to do this project together, it would be robbing the rest of our grade of any chance of passing.” His tone was dramatic, begging a reaction from you.

“Okay,” you pried further.

“So I actually told Jake that you would be more than happy to be his partner. And I will be Jessica’s partner, just to even out the playing field.” He smirked.

“Joshua, you did not!” You scolded. He gave a shrug, laughing at your response.

“Oh come on, did I lie to him?” He took your silence as an answer. “That’s what I thought, sunny.”

“Way to be subtle about it, you dick.” You mumbled, throwing a crumpled piece of paper at him.

“Subtle about what, mama?” He asked with a smirk. Although your emotions had been so bluntly on display, Josh had yet to pry the confession out of you. You’d keep that to yourself as long as humanly possible. “You’ve been friends with him just as long as you’ve been friends with me! There was no weird implications there, at all.”

“I have not really been friends with Jake the same way I’ve been friends with you. To him, I’m just his twin brothers annoying best friend, that’s about it.” Josh snorted at your response.

“Whatever you say, y/n.”

•

It was weird sitting in Jakes bed rather than Josh’s, but it was a feeling you wanted to get used to. Jake had been overjoyed when his twin informed him that you agreed to be his partner for the class project. The project was due in three days, taking place of the classes final exam. By this point, you’d spent a few weekends in a row crammed in the same bedroom with the same boy, planning out this show stopping presentation. Not only did you get to partner up with the one boy who made your heart go crazy, but you and Josh had placed a running bet. Whoever got the better mark would win fifty bucks.

It was nearing the final days of the school year, when the sun was achingly warm and begging everybody to go outside and enjoy it. To you, it wouldn’t matter if it was the brightest and nicest day in the world; sitting in Jake’s room, scribbling on papers with nobody to interrupt was exactly where you wanted to be. You were dreading the end of the semester. Not because you were nervous about grades, but because you were scared you’d never get alone time with Jake again.

“I gotta say, Sunny, you really went above and beyond for this. May I ask why?” Jake inquired with a ghost of a laugh on his lips.

“Brother dearest hasn’t told you?” You asked, looking up at him from your notebook. He shook his head, never letting his gaze falter from you. “Well, he must be scared he’s going to lose then.” You said with a triumphant tone. “Since this is the first project we’ve never partnered up for, he thought it would be a great idea to place a little bet on it. Whoever gets the better mark gets fifty bucks.”

“I see, so you’re using me for my brains.” You looked at him from the corner of your eyes. He let out a chuckle. “Josh is an idiot if he thinks he can beat you.” You felt your cheeks turn red, quickly hitting another note down on your paper, hopefully avoiding having to reply to his statement.

“I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you.” You managed to whisper out.

“Can I see what you added?” Jake asked, reaching for the notebook. When you handed it to him, his fingers brushed against yours. You felt your heart speed, trying not to focus on the calloused fingertips he adorned. While he looked over the papers, he let out a long exhale. “So are you going to the junior prom?” He asked.

“Um, I have a dress. I assume Josh and I are going together. It’s basically tradition at this point.” You mustered out a laugh.

“Oh,” he said, a hint of sadness dripping from the word. You paused, taking the word in. It was so similar to that “oh” you had spoken when you found out he had gotten a girlfriend. No, that couldn’t be right. There was no way Jake was sad you were going to prom with his brother.

“What about you?” You switched the conversation back on him. He shrugged.

“Not sure, honestly. I don’t have a date yet.”

“Oh,” you both nodded in unison, awkwardness dripping from the walls.

•

“What do you mean you’re going with Jess?!” You said, panicked. Josh’s eyes were wide, staring at you with anxiety.

“I-I’m so sorry, Sunny! We never explicitly said we were going together, and she asked me and I got nervous because she’s pretty and I said yes!” He rambled.

“No, don’t say sorry. I’m happy you’re going with her. I just… I don’t know, we always go together.” You sighed. “I just don’t really have anyone else to go with.”

“I can ask Jake-“

“Nope! That’s okay!” You cut him off. “I do not want him to ask me out of pity!” Josh rolled his eyes, about to interject, but you held up a hand. “I’ll figure it out, Josh, it’s okay.” You smiled. “I’m happy you’re going with her, really.” He pulled you into a hug.

“Thanks, sunny.”

“I’m just gonna go get some water.” You told him, leaving the living room. You made your way to the kitchen, knowing their house better than any other. You ran a hand through your hair, letting out a small groan, not sure of what you were going to do.

“Josh stood you up, then.” You heard a calm voice say from the table as you appeared in the kitchen. You looked up to see Jake sitting there, textbook in hand and a plate of food beside him. He must have been studying for his exams. You wanted to shrivel up and die on the spot.

“I take it you heard all of that, then.” You said, awkwardly shifting on your heels. He nodded. You finally got the courage to meet his eyes and he gave you a smile. One so similar to the one he gave you in the pool that day. You felt the tension melt off your shoulders.

“Go with me.” He offered. “If you want to, of course.” His eyes looked sincere. Your stomach erupted in nerves.

“Really?” You whispered.

“Yeah, Sunny. And not out of pity, either. I’d love to go with you.” You felt yourself break out into a grin.

“Yeah, okay.” You tried to be nonchalant, but everything inside you was screaming.

“What colour’s your dress?” He asked.

“Dark green,” you squeaked.

“I’ll have to buy a new tie, then.”

•

Jake showed up at your front door that night with a bouquet of flowers. Sunflowers. When you opened the door, you felt like you could throw up. “For me?” You asked, gently.

“Yeah,” he said, holding them out for you. You took them from him, inspecting them carefully. They were beautiful, just like him.

“You remembered my favourite flower.” He rolled his eyes at your statement.

“Do you not remember who gave you that nickname all of those years ago?” He chuckled. Your cheeks went red. Through the years, the memory of your nickname got muddled in with the mess of other ones. You had always thought Josh had come up with it.

“I thought it was Josh,” you admitted.

“Nope,” he annunciated the P. “You always had sunflower everything: Dresses, pins, necklaces. I think you even had shoes with sunflowers on them.” He was right, you did. “You always painted them in art class, or doodled them on your homework.”

“I can’t believe you remember that.”

“F’course I do.” He said, taking a step inside. “They remind me of you, every time I see them.” You felt your heart flutter, but for once it wasn’t nervousness, it was happiness. “I called you sunflower and the boys just copied me. Never have been very original.” He laughed. You joined in with him.

“You’re too sweet, Jake.” He brushed the comment off, pulling you into a short lived hug.

“Honey, come get some pictures before you have to go!” Your mom called for you. You shared a look with Jake and he smiled, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“You look beautiful, Sunny.”

That night was one of the best nights you’d ever had. After pictures with your parents, you’d met up with Josh and his date. The boys parents fawned over you and Jessica, raving about how nice you looked. At the dance itself, there were photo booths and a snack table, and they were playing half-decent music. You and Jake stayed close with Josh and his date the whole night, making another lifetime of memories.

Jake had pulled you to the photo booth, taking some Polaroids with the camera provided. When he thought you weren’t looking, he slipped one in the pocket of his suit jacket. You noticed, though. You always noticed when it was about him. You took some with Josh and then of all of you together. You made sure to keep them all in a safe place, hating the thought of losing them.

“Oh, Josh!” Jake beckoned his twin over to the two of you. He parted from his date and joined you, giving a questioning look. “A little birdie told me that you owe someone fifty bucks.” Jake said, giving a smile.

“Hm, I don’t know who that might be.” Josh had been elusive as to the whole bet ever since the report cards came back.

“Really, Joshua? Hate to admit that you shouldn’t have given up your partner like that?” You asked, pinching his red cheek. He rolled his eyes as dramatically as he could.

“Fine, okay! I’ll give you 100 if you never bring it up again.” You and Jake shared a smile.

“Sounds good to me!”

The night was full of laughs and jokes, and slight tipsyness due to the flasks the twins had snuck in their suit jackets. When the night was coming to a close, you had found yourself in a group of girls from your grade, sharing mindless chatter and gossip about the night. The sound system boomed over head, transitioning out of a high energy song into a slow beat. You didn’t pay any mind to it, but the rest of the girls flocked frantically to find their dates, hoping for one more awkward, handsy slow dance. You sipped away at your drink when a voice sounded behind you.

“Care to dance?” You swung around to see Jake. You grinned as he held a hand out to you, taking it and making your way to the crowd of other students.

“I wasn’t expecting a slow dance from this, Jakey.”

“You really think I’d skip out on a dance with my favourite girl, especially when you look this nice?” He asked. Your chest burned. You were unsure if it was from the alcohol or the romantic words from the boy before you. His hands found your waist, and your arms snaked around his neck. For a minute, you had never felt more at peace. You thought back to your freshman year, how 14 year old you would have been freaking out if she knew this is where you’d be now.

“Thanks for asking me to be your date,” you whispered to him.

“Thank you for letting me bring you.” He replied. “Best school dance I’ve ever been too.”

“Me, too.” You breathed. “Don’t tell Josh, though.” You both shared a chuckled. When the song was nearing the height, Jake pulled away slightly, looking down at your face. If you were in your right mind, you would have sworn he was going to kiss you. You were hoping he would, at least.

Before you could find out, you found yourself being pulled away by someone else. You looked quickly to find Josh. He flung you around in a twirl causing you to erupt in a fit of giggles. “I couldn’t end an event without dancing with you!” He announced.

“Good to know you’re still thinking of me, darling.”

“Of course, mama.” He replied. You didn’t think too long about the scene Josh had disrupted, but Jake sure did. You caught his eyes when Josh twirled you one last time, seeing his look of disdain. You felt your stomach drop. Jake left the dance that night with a sour taste in his mouth, more annoyed at his brother than he’d ever been.

•

You thought that maybe things would change after that, a shift in the dynamics at least mildly. You were wrong. So wrong, that you found yourself feeling stupid for even thinking that in the first place. In the final stretch before senior year starting, you’d found yourself in the basement of the Kiszka house, watching Sam twiddle away at his bass and Josh make miscellaneous noises into the microphone. Danny was beating his drumsticks on the arm of the couch as he sat beside you. They were waiting for Jake so they could begin one of their many band practices.

You had to admit, they’d definitely gotten better of the course of that summer. Before, they were more or less making a bunch of noise with their instruments and not much else. Now, they’d even written a song or two and already had plans to play a few local shows in the upcoming months. You were proud of them, more than you could ever explain. You were so happy they’d found a calling that they actually wanted to pursue. It was way beyond what you’ve done so far.

You had a stack of college applications, all in various stages of completion but none finished. They were sitting on your desk at home, begging to be looked at and turned in, but it didn’t feel right to you. Nothing did. A lifetime of not spending every day with Josh seemed too unrealistic; it was painful to imagine. So, you didn’t. You let the time whittle away, hoping that the decision would get easier the closer you got to having to make it.

It didn’t.

Your parents were breathing down your neck, waiting for you to pick a college. You didn’t have the heart to tell them you weren’t even sure you wanted to go. You never once imagined you’d never want to go to university, but the closer it got to having to go, the more it scared you.

You were broken from your thoughts when the door to the basement crashed open. You looked to the stairs to see Jake tumbling down, a girl you’d never met before following closely behind. You met his eyes and he paused for a moment. It only lasted for a second, and then he barrelled to his guitar case and pulled it out. The unnamed girl dropped onto the couch beside Danny. Josh looked at you, then at her, at Jake, and back to you.

“I didn’t know anyone else would be joining us.” Josh said coolly, obviously prying for more information.

“Well, y/n’s here, so I thought it’d be cool if I brought my girlfriend, too.” Jake replied. You felt that knot in your stomach, the same one that showed up last time. You swore you saw Josh’s heart break for you.

“You say that like she’s my girlfriend, Jake.” Josh said, quite short with him.

“She’s not?” He chuckled, not caring to look in your direction. “Could’ve fooled me.” He said, plugging his guitar into his amp. You stood, mentioning something about getting some air. You carried yourself up the stairs as if your legs were made of lead. You didn’t let the first tear fall until you made it to your car. It was getting harder and harder to hide your feelings, especially when your heart broke more each time he found a new girlfriend.

•

“I got in!!” You squealed, almost breaking down Josh’s door as you entered his room. You were breathless, tears of happiness still trailing down your cheeks. When you stopped to regain yourself, you saw both twins occupying his bed. Josh took a second to process what was happening, then sprung to his feet, picking you up into a hug and spinning you around.

“I’m so proud of you sunny!” Josh yelled. He put you down and you practically shoved the papers in his face. You’d been waiting for word back from your university of choice. Originally, you’d applied as a joke, but when you gotten promising word from early acceptance, you had to send in your full transcript just to see what they would say.

“That’s not it, Josh.” you wheezed, still crying over what the letter contained.

“What?” He asked, trying to read the paper in your shaking hand.

“They’re paying for all of it.” You sobbed. “I got a full-ride scholarship.” Your voice quivered as you spoke, still not believing this was real life. You saw a tear fall from his eye as well before he pulled you into a bone-breaking hug.

“I knew you could do it, mama.” You couldn’t help but look over Josh’s shoulder to see his brother, and you cried even harder when you saw that he had a tear falling, too.

•

Your eyes were begging you to shut them, hoping for one minute of sleep, but you persevered. Josh was snoring on the couch behind you, his textbook slung haphazardly beside him. You were still furiously writing down important lines, too nervous to look away. You only broke from your focus when you heard footsteps enter the living room. “What are you doing awake, sunny?”

Jake was standing, shirtless and clearly freshly showered. His hair was still damp and he smelled very strongly of Jake. You felt yourself swoon, but it was soon covered up by embarrassment, realizing the state you were in. Sweatpants and Josh’s hoodie, hair thrown up wildly and under-eye bags darker than they’d ever been. “Yeah, sorry, I should probably go home.” You scrambled to gather your things.

“No, no! It’s okay, I just meant that you should get some sleep - you can stay here if you want.” He rushed out.

“Oh, uh, yeah. I probably should sleep, but I’ve got three AP exams to study for. I don’t really think I have any time to.” You let out a dry laugh.

“Well why don’t you come up to my room and study. Im sure Josh’s snoring isn’t helping your focus.”

“Oh, no. I wouldn’t want to intrude.” He scoffed at your words.

“You’d never be intruding, sunflower.” He offered a smile, coming over to gather your things. “I’m a bit of a night owl anyway, I’d love the company.” So the two of you retired to Jake’s bedroom. You hadn’t been in here since the English project in eleventh grade. You smiled at the memory. “Been a while since you’ve been in here.” He noted. “Sorry for the mess.” You didn’t mind the clutter, because it was so effortlessly Jake. The clothes on the floor, the messy bed, the vinyl records astray on his desk.

“Don’t be.” You assured him. Studying grew to be troublesome with him in your company. You seemed more engrossed in his quiet picking on his acoustic guitar than you’d ever been in your books. “I miss hanging out with you.” You let your thoughts slip, not meaning to actually say it aloud. He paused his playing momentarily, looking up at you through his hair. It was longer now, he was working on growing it out.

“Me, too.” He said. “We never really hung out enough, just the two of us.” He said.

“I know, I wish we had’ve.” You admitted. He nodded in agreement. “And now I’m leaving,” you finally said it aloud.

“I know you are.” He whispered. “I’m really happy for you, Sunny.” You gave a soft smile. “I know Josh has said it a million times, but I’m more proud of you than he could ever be.” He paused. “More than anyone, really.”

“Thanks, Jakey.” You met his eyes. They had that same look in them, the one he had before Josh whisked you away at prom. He didn’t let it linger, but you wished he did.

•

“Josh!” You yelled, trying to sound angry, but a laugh slipped out. “You’re standing me up again!”

“Oh, but for good reason, my darling!” He reminded you.

“So you can get laid?” You rolled your eyes. Sam got a good chuckle out of it.

“Perhaps, but only time will tell.” You all fell into a fit of laughter. Josh had told everyone he’d asked Jessica to the senior prom. The two had been back and fourth with flirting and then radio silence for the entire year. You were happy Josh had finally gotten the nerve to ask her, but you were a bit put out that you would not be going to your senior prom with him. You always thought you would, but you could never be mad at him for it.

When you went home that night, you felt a sadness fill your chest. Prom was right around the corner, and with no date in mind you were dreading it. You also felt frozen with fear at the thought of graduation, and the dwindling time you had left with your friends. Yet, the scariest of thought of them all, was leaving Michigan without telling Jake you were in love with him.

You tossed and turned as you tried to sleep that night, and fell asleep with a hole in your chest that you were scared you’d never get rid of. When you woke the next morning, birds were chirping outside your window. You smiled at the sound and the rays of sunshine warmed your face. You checked your phone and saw a missed text message. To your surprise, it was from Jake.

Jakey: Meet me at the park down the street from your house at 12

You found the hours leading to noon we’re the longest you’ve ever lived through, but the time finally came. You walked down the street and through the gate to the small park that was mostly abandoned. You’d frequented it when you were kids, but not many people visited it now. When you looked to the old tattered gazebo, you saw Jake sitting there. You felt your palms get clammy as you got closer, seeing he was holding something. He heard your footsteps and turned to look at you, a smile breaking out on his face.

“Hey,” you said, walking up the steps.

“Hi.” Was all he replied. You arched an eyebrow, waiting for something from him to let you know why you were here. In his hands he held a single sunflower and a very worn piece of paper, looking like it was torn from a journal. “I… uh…” he stuttered. “Here, this is for you.” He handed you the flower. You took it from him, grinning down at it. “I didn’t think this would be this hard.” He forced a laugh out.

“Come on, Jake, it’s just me.”

“Yeah,” he breathed. “I know.” You found the redness creeping to your cheeks again. “Okay, well, up just say it I guess.” He fiddled with the paper in his hand. “Last year, at junior prom, I got the chance to go with the best girl I’ve ever met.” He started. “And I was hoping that maybe this year, I’d be lucky enough to take you to my senior prom, too.” His voice was shaky as he finished. Your heart swelled with affection. “I just thought I’d make the asking part special this time, cause I really didn’t get to last year.” You both laughed. He handed you the paper. You observed it carefully, seeing what was clearly scratched out and rewritten numerous times. They looked like song lyrics. “I was writing a song for the band, and I guess it just turned out to be about you, so I thought I’d give it to you, first. All of the songs turn out to be about you.” He barely spoke the last part. “I think I’m gonna call it Flower Power.” You we’re so in love with the boy before you that it physically hurt to think about it.

“What about your girlfriend, Jake? What was her name? Uh, Lily?” You asked gently. He chuckled.

“She and I have been broken up for a while.” He cleared his throat, looking hesitant about what he was going to say next. “I’ve always liked sunflowers more than lilies.” He mumbled.

•

“Y/n y/l/n!” Your name was shouted through the loudspeaker. The crowd erupted in cheers. From the front row, your parents were crying and yelling your name. You walked across the stage, gown flowing freely in the wind. You shook the principals hand as you accepted your diploma. Your eyes met Josh’s from the crowd of classmates. He made a heart with his hands, followed by blowing you a kiss. You looked at Jake, who was sitting next to him. He didn’t make a gesture, but the gleam in his eye told you just how proud he was of you.

•

The music pounded in your ears. Bodies were running into each other, some dancing, and some just trying to get past the crowd. The Kiszka’s basement was more lively than you’d ever seen it. Josh was wrapped around Jessica, completely lost in conversation with her. You smiled to yourself, watching them together. You were happy he was happy. The smell of alcohol was potent, and the noise was almost unbearable.

You pushed your way to the stairs and found solace in the outdoors. The music drummed softly in the background. The sound of nature soothed you, relaxing you a bit. You were a bit more drunk than you thought you were. Then again, how could you not be at your best friends graduation party?

“Coming out to say hi?” A smooth voice said from beside you. You whipped your head around to see Jake sitting on a lawn chair.

“Why are you out here all by yourself? This is your party, is it not?” You giggled.

“Maybe I was hoping I’d run into you.” He offered. You felt the familiar blush rise to your cheeks. This time, much less noticeable due to your face already being red from the liquor.

“Maybe I was, too.” You grinned. He motioned for you to sit beside him. You took the chair graciously, feeling sturdier when you weren’t on your feet. He had a joint lit between his fingers and you couldn’t help but poke fun. “Jacob Kiszka, are you smoking weed?” You asked, incredulously.

“Care to join?” He held it out to you. You took it from him and took a long haul. Silence ensued between you two, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. “Sunny?” He asked eventually.

“Hmm?”

“I’m really gonna miss you.” He finally admitted. You felt your heart break.

“I’m gonna miss you, too, Jake.” You said.

“Just come with us, then.” He said. You whipped your head to look at him. “What? It’s not unbelievable.” He responded. “Go to school, finish up your big degree early, cause I know you can, and when Sam graduates, come with us around the world.” You laughed at his words.

“That’s a long time away, Jakey. You still think you’ll want me around by then?” You asked. He sat up, leaning dangerously close to you.

“Sunny, there is no lifetime I could live that I wouldn’t want you to be in.” Your eyes softened, looking down at his lips, then back up to your eyes. He pulled back, causing you to frown slightly.

“Okay, we’ll when you make it big, give me a call.” You whispered.

“I think I’ll be calling long before then.” He smiled. “The minute you get in your car, I’ll be on the phone, making sure you don’t forget me.” You scoffed.

“As if I could ever forget you.” His eyebrows knitted together, signalling he was thinking hard about something. Before you had time to process it, he had his hand on your cheek and he was pulling you in for a kiss.

You revelled in it, wishing you could live in the moment for the rest of your life. It was so inviting, finally ceasing the internal nagging that had been killing you since middle school. His lips were soft and warm, the taste of smoke still lingering on him. When he pulled away, you had to stop yourself from protesting. He kept his face close, almost scared to look away. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He speaks quietly, so quiet you almost miss it.

“Not as long as I’ve wanted to,” you laughed.

“Middle school,” he challenged. You’d felt your heart drop.

“Me, too.” You lifted your hand to tangle it in his hair, pulling him in for another kiss. “Why’d you wait so long?” You asked when you broke away.

“I don’t know, was scared I guess. I always thought you’d end up with Josh.” You grimaced at his admission.

“It’s always been you, Jake. No matter how complicated the feelings were, no matter how much it sucked watching you date those other girls, it was always you.” You sighed. “Everybody knew it but us, I guess.”

“I begged Josh to let me be your partner for that English project,” he said, earning a small laugh from you. “And I also begged him to go to junior prom with Jess. He was so bent out of shape, not wanting to hurt your feelings when she asked him. I told him I’d take you, and he still wouldn’t budge. I think it took two weeks before he finally agreed to let me take you.” The two of you found yourself in another fit of laughs.

“Josh is my best friend, through and through, but I’ve never once felt for him what I do for you. He was right, that day at the pool, way back before high school. I absolutely was checking you out.” You said, his lips ghosting over yours once again. He pulled you from your chair into his lap, finding your lips on his once again.

“I was hoping you were.” He smiled into your mouth. “It looks like we have a lot of time to make up for, then.” He said. His hands were firmly planted on your hips. His calloused fingertips felt like heaven on the soft skin hidden just above the hem of your jeans.

“Then take me upstairs, you idiot.” You laughed. “I don’t think I can wait any longer.”

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