#GRRRRRRRRRR im so normal
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Pink sunset last night :)
#venting in the tags of my generic but pretty photo: holy fuck i need to quit my job#like i genuinely feel unsafe and its been hinted Several Times that my position may be terminated soon#so im just being like. dangled on a string and it SUCKS#but i am the only source of stability in my household and so i literally cannot#im just fuxking trspped like a rat#and im constantly having thoughts of like.. giving 30 days notice on my apartment breaking up and driving to like wyoming.. living in my car#but i have to be the responsoble one!! like always!!!#and no one else is looking out for me or able to catch me if i fall!!!#grrrrrrrrrr#its making me like angry at everyone in my life#i just wany to be left alone to do what i like and not have to worry about taking care of everybody else#and like. i cant even afford mental therapy or physical therapy or my meds rn and i dont think people realize how much i#am fucking sacrificing all the god damn time#jesus christ#i sound like the male lead in any mid century play#brechtian ass#anyways#im normal now#back to work 🙃
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Hi! I've been wanting to say this... I absolutely love your fic "forgetting is a kind of mercy"... It was literally all me and oomf were able to talk about for DAYS, like two starved beasts. I actually need to calm myself down because the way everything has been done so perfectly is actually SCARY.
I started reading and was like "oh my this premise slays let me go on..." and then it kept getting better and better and better and hurting me in the ways I LOVE to hurt??? hdvbdfkvbdfk.
I very rarely cry but this time I saw myself tearing up as I saw their reality being shattered... Like omg... Please don't hurt anymore but also do???? njfdvndfkvndkvndf UGHHH you have me at your mercy. I love myself a little angst ngl.
Also their flirting "pre-memory-loss" was soooo on point like that's my zutara out there... zutaring.... yeah girl keep annoying him that's the way he likes it!!!! grrrrrrrrrr
And the way you write the other characters??? the way it matches their vibes so well???????? grrrrrrrr
and Akio (I love himmmm, and I think it's so peak that he's going through his dada phase right when daddy and mommy are going through a rough patch huhhhhh AHHHHHH THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT)... and the pregnancy that inevitably keeps them close to each other whether they want it or not MUAHAHAHAHA *evil laughs* that was so peak... Your mind... *incoherent noises* ncjsdknvsknvskjvnskjf
I wish I could express myself better....
I also want to say I'm so glad we're moots now... I love your commentaries on my posts (I always read all of them) cnkdnkv thank you so much <3 last one about balduko? hell yeah in this house we keep that ponytail!!!
AAHHH thank youuuu <3 i'm glad that the angst is angst-ing and that you're enjoying it so far!!! ♥️ and to make u tear up... omg. a high honor
katara annoys him and he DOES like it! you just know he's twiddling his thumbs waiting for her to come back so they can bicker again 😭 and katara wanting to make his life miserable one cup of tea at a time... girl who are you fooling?? 😭
meanwhile he's just.... trying to be witty or smooth or not-stupid. he has no clue what he's doing chatting with this delusional fucking girl that has kicked his ass a few times (who he hates to admit is pretty, UGH) king of having no idea what he's doing EVER
akiooooo!!!! i think at this point you can temporarily adopt him if u want. while his parents figure their marriage out. i'm sure zk won't mind. congratulations!!! be careful, though, he's a MENACE for mangos and he says like 2 words.
the pregnancy is looming over their heads like a fucking anvil 😭😭😭 sorry to zk...... in my mind they deserve to suffer a little. as a treat
i love your artwork soooooo much. i always giggle and twirl my hair and kick my feet when u post. i look with eyes wide open. im so so normal about it actually..... you are leading the charge for 🗣️ balduko rights 🗣️ and i respect u for it <3 and your katara?? that's my wife.
#cyanorhis#u make his bald head look so smooth just like his smooth brain#not a single comprehensive thought in his head until he grew hair and you know what? good for him#im 100% not normal about ur art btw i turn into a feral animal
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neurotically weighing the options of having separate nsfw and sfw presences while bridging connection between the two. I get somewhat personal.
for a while ive been struggling to decide between having my sfw and nsfw projects be separate+unlinked+unacknowledged, mutually linked, one-way linked (nsfw -> sfw only), or on an "ask me" basis.
to begin with, separating them at all feels kind of like a stupid task. sexuality and transgression is present in all of my work and it's only gonna get more aggressive from here out.
but well. there are projects that sometimes get porno and projects that don't. and i think people are sufficiently uncomfortable around porno that i want to quarantine it, for their sake and mine. i don't really want a ton of eyes on my porno. i want like only the coolest most normal eyes on it
it's a very vulnerable thing for a reason. all the same, i have felt some of my most fulfilled when i can share these things with the world. but while i would like to say that the consequences of sharing porno are entirely immaterial, i don't think that's true.
in particular, i might want to be a teacher someday, and even though you shouldnt be barred from working with kids just because you have a sex life off the clock... it does happen. and im trans and faggy so like, i'm not itching for a third strike.
But lots of times on nsfw im not just talking horny, bc those projects are just as much about my politics, interests, and experiences as anything else is and its like grrrrrrrrrr barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark. what if i want to talk about manufacturing with my porno friends!!!
this is the appeal of the one-way link option, because i can talk about whatever i want on whatever account, but publish anything palatable on the sfw side, and just link from nsfw.........
but this relies on an honor system. and i'm not sure at what scale that becomes a liability.
i feel like separate and unlinked with an unofficial "ask me" or like occasional delete-later plug might be the best option, but it feels like such a pain in practice due to the aforementioned mixing of interests.
I think ultimately the thing that's happening is that I have spent my entire life cultivating a publicly respectable career-oriented persona, and it is currently wasted on the unemployed me. I would love it if I could influence people in a positive way, but I don't know if it's in the cards with this climate.
I have the opportunity to give up completely on pretending to be respectable, but I'm hesitant to do that when it feels like it might grant me opportunities I desperately need.
I could just trust that the right people and places aren't going to pry about this stuff, but idk man, you see people getting cyberstalked for years enough times that it does a number on you. can i say i do drag with my coworkers? can i talk about writing a comic if it sometimes has sex? is this cartoon contaminated with my pervert germs? sigh.
I might have surveillance paranoia.
Anyways, if you have experience, suggestions. or reactions regarding this sort of thing, I'm open to them. Thanks
#indexed post#It's not dire because its not going anywhere but it also is dire because this small conflict is actively stopping like#80% of my creative output#Like there are a lot of small projects I cant make myself start because I dont know where theyre going
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i was going through my ancient deviantart and found some writing i did from when i was 11. im. i need to show you guys (zero people) this i am dying here
its under the cut as its really long. and fucking awful
The Psychopath
I've been inactive on youtube lol. This is why. I've been busyyyyyyyyy and unmotivatedddddddddd So, I've made a script. Its called "The Psychopath". ------------------------- Part 1:
Momo was making a video called "HOTTO DOGU". (It will be real).
Momo: Wow... A full moon tonight? And... I think I've been making this video for too long. I should get some rest.
She then realised that her paws went cyan, and she felt something ripping through her fingertips.
Momo: Its cold...
Momo would sleep untill the next day.
???: Good morning, Sweetie...
A voice would call her. It wasn't Luna Shinelight's Voice.
She would wake up, screaming.
Momo: What the... I had the strangest dream! Some voice called me... Am I going crazy?
She would tell Luna and Bunni about her paws and her dream, But they didn't believe her.
Untill the next night at 3am....
Momo: I can't sleep... My fur is all dirty... My eyes feel weird too.. and my ears seem to be feeling broken...
???: Hello, My dear...
Momo: Wha... Who's there?
She'd see 2 glowing blue eyes and 4 white glowing eyes...
???: Join us....
???: Its time....
Momo: What... No... no... god please no...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
---------------------- Part 2:
Luna: It's momo's dreams again...
Bunni: She should really calm down...
Growling and screeching would come from momo's room.
Luna: Momo! I know you're in there!
Bunni: Wow.. Momo must be angry that she has dreams again...
They'd see Noo-Noo come upstairs. Noo-Noo: What happened? I heard momo screaming and crying at like 3am... Noo-Noo would open the door.... Luna: What... Bunni: The... Noo-Noo: AAAH! Momo's gone insane! What's happening!?!??!? HELP ME!! Noo-Noo would flee back to his room and never come to her room again. Luna: I feel like fleeing.... Bunni: Its the only way.... AAAAAAAAAAAAH!! They'd both flee... Untill they were outside! Momo?: GGGGGGRRRRRR!!!!! GRRRET BBBBRACK RRRRRRROAAAAAERE!!!! Noo-Noo would come outside Noo-Noo: Is it safe......AAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Momo?: AAAAAAARGH! NYAAAAAHGH! FFFFFFFFUGRRRRYJUBY! FFFFFURBY! ------------------------- Part 3: Luna: Momo! No!! Bunni: There's only one person to help... Bunni would call Mimi, Momo's Sister. Mimi: You called? Bunni: Your sister's gone crazy. Do something to help her! She's teared noo-noo in half, Still alive, crying with scratches! Mimi would go the the garden Luna: Help.... Me.... Momo?: GRRRRRRRRRR! YGRRRRRROU! Mimi: Momo... its been... a while... You've done this before to me... That's why... I ran... *sniff* away... Momo?: Grrrrrrrrr..... Mimi: Just.. Calm... down... -------------------- Part 4 (Last Part): Momo would calm down, her ears and faceplate went back to normal... but her fur and feet still out of place Momo: Mimi... I... Just.. don't... know... what... I... did... Mimi: You hurt noo-noo and cut Luna's ear open... Momo: Did I? Mimi: Yes... They'd see momo start screaming then fainting. something came out of her chest. ???: Seriously... Momo! You calmed down... didn't you! ???: "She" will not be happy with what I did... ???: I'll come back... YOU HEAR ME!? and you'll regret it more!!! The unexpected visitor dissapeared... ------------------- That's that. My first like story. Its terrible. I know.
The end....
????: You. You failed, didn't you? You made momo calm down!
???: I'm sorry....
???: You better be sorry! Use more power! Here. use this for the next full moon.
-------------------
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HAPPY WEBTTORE APPRECIATION DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVEEE HIM I LOVE HM I LOV HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVENGNG HIMHMMJJHJHFGHJGFJHGFDJHFDGHJFDGHJGFDHJ
#WEB SOLOS#NEWTTORE SIT THE FUCK DOWN#BITES HIM BITES HIM BITES HIM#GRRRRRRRRRR im so normal#il dottore#genshin impact#WEBTTORE APPRECIATION DAY
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“hi here is my full coverage makeup tutorial for textured skin aha dont forget its full coverage foundation full coverage concealer full coverage powder full coverage anything because we absolutely CANNOT see your textured skin at all or you will die on the street cause god forbid you dont have airbrushed flawless lies on your face. but dw babygirl ur just as beautiful without makeup but u should cover up love, u hit that subscribe button leave a like <333″
#im getting so so aggressive#FAKE ASS VIDEO FILTER USING BITCH. GRRRRRRRRRR BARK BARK BARK#ok ok im normal now.
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Pink sunset last night :)
#venting in the tags of my generic but pretty photo: holy fuck i need to quit my job#like i genuinely feel unsafe and its been hinted Several Times that my position may be terminated soon#so im just being like. dangled on a string and it SUCKS#but i am the only source of stability in my household and so i literally cannot#im just fuxking trspped like a rat#and im constantly having thoughts of like.. giving 30 days notice on my apartment breaking up and driving to like wyoming.. living in my car#but i have to be the responsoble one!! like always!!!#and no one else is looking out for me or able to catch me if i fall!!!#grrrrrrrrrr#its making me like angry at everyone in my life#i just wany to be left alone to do what i like and not have to worry about taking care of everybody else#and like. i cant even afford mental therapy or physical therapy or my meds rn and i dont think people realize how much i#am fucking sacrificing all the god damn time#jesus christ#i sound like the male lead in any mid century play#brechtian ass#anyways#im normal now#back to work 🙃
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