#GRADUATED LAST YEAR AND MOODY ISN’T MY SCHOOL BUT I WILL BE IN ATTENDANCE TRUST AND BELIEVE THAT

[holypowell]

[yandere-daydreams]

Title: Pendent.

Written for a very lovely, very patient anonymous commissioner.

Pairing: Yandere!Bokuto/Reader (Haikyuu!!).

Word Count: 2.0k.

TW: F. Reader, Toxic Relationships, Co-Dependency, Mention of Injury, Threats of Violence, Victim-Blaming.

[Part Two]

You were better, when you were on your own.

It might’ve been because you were so used to being alone. You’d never been one for social circles, the idea of spending time with people you barely liked for any longer than you deemed acceptable, and with how often your parents moved, how many schools you’d been through, your relationships were bound to be short-lived, if they ever formed at all. You didn’t hate it. You should’ve, you had every reason to, but you didn’t. You were good with impermanence, superficial flare that would never have time to die out. You were good with what you were used to. You were better, when you got to work within the barriers you’d already grown fond of.

That might’ve been why Bokuto felt like such a dead weight. You’d had boyfriends before, both short-term flings and partners persistent enough to try to make it long-distance, but you couldn’t say any of them had care quite as strongly as Bokuto had, none of them had taken as much effort to keep happy as Bokuto had. He didn’t just want your affection. He needed your time, too, your loyalty, your attention, all the things you weren’t sure you wanted to give him, just yet. If you’d been a better person, you might’ve tried to give him what he wanted, attempted to think of him as a companion rather than an unending list of repetitive tasks, but you weren’t. You didn’t want to be. You just didn’t work well with Bokuto. That was the problem, really – the two of you just did belong together.

Well, that and he was fucking crazy, obviously, but you were beginning to think you might’ve been the only one who noticed.

Konoha certainly didn’t, at least. If he had, he wouldn’t be so aggressive, his arms crossed as he kept you trapped in an isolated corner of the courtyard, the school day over and most students long-since gone. He was standing too close, his chest nearly touching yours, but the rest of the team wasn’t any better, mingling around you in a loose half-circle. They didn’t want to be as straight-forward as Konoha, clearly. They didn’t want to live with the guilt. When they walked away from this, and they would walk away from this, they wanted to be able to minimize their role, mark it down as an act of necessity. They didn’t want to have to remember you, and you could only hope they wouldn’t give you a reason to remember them.

But, if this was going to be anything like the first time they confronted you, you doubted you’d get that lucky.

In his defense, Konoha was blunt. If he planned on wasting your time, he didn’t seem to want to waste any more of it than he absolutely had to. “We had a deal.”

It was your turn to cross your arms, now, to scowl. You weren’t as imposing as they were, not on your own, but you’d like to think you could’ve stood your ground. “It wasn’t a deal,” You started, slowly, keeping your tone calm. This wouldn’t be any easier if they thought you were as irrational as their captain. “You asked me for a something, and I gave it to you. I did you a favor. I don’t owe you anything, and I certainly don’t have to stand around being yelled at by the person I tried to help.”

Konoha opened his mouth again, his eyes already narrowed and his lips pulled into a sharp scowl, but another boy stepped forward before he could get anything out, his expression slightly more passive, albeit still concerned. It wasn’t an improvement. If anything, the genuine worry written across his face only made him easier to villainize. He was worried about Bokuto, not you. This was about Bokuto. Your feelings hardly warranted a passing thought.

“What Akinori’s trying to say,” Komi started, his name resurfacing from the dozens of hours you’d spent watching their drills, attending their practice matches, melting into Bokuto’s side after he guilted you into eating lunch with his team, rather than the other girls you were still trying to impress. If you’d been any more emotional, you could’ve hated him for it, loathed him by association. It was almost a shame that you weren’t. “Is that we just think you were a little hasty. I mean, I know we put you up to it, but…” He trailed off, purposefully, clearly hoping you’d be nice enough to cut him off. Again, it was a shame that you weren’t, and Komi went on with a sigh. “We just think the two of you made a good pair. There’s no reason to go and ruin that just because he found out.”

Your head felt fuzzy. You wanted to sit down. It was a difficult sort of discomfort, disorienting and instantaneous, but you didn’t let yourself linger on it. If you did that, you’d have to explain yourself, make your argument more sympathetic than logical. You’d have to tell them about the arguments, the way he’d kissed you, the bruises on your arm that still hadn’t faded despite your dutiful avoidance. You’d have to admit there were bruises at all, and…

That wasn’t going to happen. You already knew it wasn’t going to happen.

“Cut the shit.” It took you a moment to notice Konoha was talking, turned towards his teammates and away from you. A few months ago, you might’ve taken it as an insult, but that might’ve been Bokuto’s one silver lining – you got used to being pushed into the background, when he was around. Hell, even when he wasn’t, sometimes. “He won’t play. He hasn’t come to school in a week. He can barely get out of bed. The poor guy’s a fucking wreck.” There was a pause, something similar to a groan. He didn’t have to tell you it was your fault, not when you could practically hear him thinking it, whether or not his lips moved. “It’s sad. He’s fucking miserable. If you saw it, you’d know what I mean.”

“That’s not my problem.” It wasn’t. Bokuto could’ve hurt you. For a moment, he’d looked like he wanted to hurt you. That wasn’t something you’d forgive with a few tears and a little sulking. “I’m not responsible for him. I don’t want to be responsible for him, and I never have. If you need a babysitter, you’re going to have to look somewhere else.”

“It’ll only be for a few more months.” Like always, Washio was calm, composed, cutting in before Konoha could provide a decent rebuttal. “Just until graduation. He’ll probably be over it, by then, and you won’t have to worry about any of us.”

Until the next moody third-year decides he wants a pick-me-up, too.

“I’m not interested.” You let yourself scoff, look of to the side, pretend you had better places to be. You did have better places to be. Anywhere would be better than this, as long as it meant you didn’t have to think about him. As long as it meant you didn’t have to think about Bokuto ever again, you’d do just about anything. “You saw the way he acted, I couldn’t look at someone else without having to worry about whether or not he’d lose his shit. I wasn’t happy. Fuck, I was a second away from losing my shit. You can’t ask me to go back to that just so you can win at... what? Volleyball?.” You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to stop. You didn’t want to talk about this. If you were going to spill your guts to anyone, it wasn’t going to be a dozen teenage boys who thought the only way to make their dear captain happy was to torture you, intentionally or otherwise. “If it’s only a few months, then the rest of you can wait it out. This isn’t my burden. It’s not my problem, and I don’t care enough to pretend it is.”

You didn’t want to hear his response. You didn’t want a part of this fight. You tried to walk away, to push past him, but Konoha only stiffened, catching you by the arm before you could take a full step. You flinched, going rigid as soon as you felt his fist wrap around your wrist, but if he noticed the way you drew back, if he heard the soft, panicked noise that slipped through your parted lips, he didn’t bother apologizing. If anything, into only seemed to inflate his ego further, to make him even more self-righteous. Like he was the caring friend, and you were the stone-cold bitch who was finally starting to see the weight of the situation. Like he was the one in the right. You couldn’t blame him, on that front. No one would be willing to go this far unless they really believed their own bullshit.

“I don’t think you understand.” He was speaking slowly, now. If he hadn’t made it obvious he was willing to hit back, you might’ve been tempted to smack him. “We’re not asking.”

Oh. Right. That changed things.

It was all you could do not to let your voice shake, as you forced yourself to spit something out. “And what’s that supposed to mean, exactly?”

To his credit, Konoha didn’t try to make any idle threats. No, not right now, not when he was so determined to make himself the good guy. Not when it was already clear he’d convinced himself he’d do whatever he had to, as long as it was for Bokuto’s sake. “Bokuto needs this,” He said, instead, like it was all the explanation you could need. “Go back to him on your own. It’ll be easier, if you do.”

Biting the inside of your cheek, you tore your eyes away from Konoha, scanning over the other athletes instead. You weren’t sure to look for, support or regret or just enough guilt to draw one or the other out, but you barely had a chance to look before your attention was drawn to a familiar face – Akaashi, standing at the edge of the group, eyes sheepishly focused on the ground. He’d been the first one you talked to, when you first transferred halfway through the year, the first person to offer to walk you home and to invite you to a game and to smile sympathetically, whenever you asked how long your ‘arrangement’ was supposed to last. You didn’t make friends, but if you did, you would’ve counted Akaashi as one. You tried not to get attached to people, but if you were any weaker, you’d be attached to Akaashi. He was a nice guy, despite the company he kept. You trusted him. Or, you would’ve liked to, at least. You could’ve, if you’d trusted yourself to.

You must’ve been staring for a second too long. By the time you thought to say something, he was already glancing up, consciously looking past you. If you didn’t know better, you might’ve thought he was embarrassed. Something near guilt, but not quite there. Empathy pulled in two different directions, but he’d already chosen one side over the other.  “I think it would be… better, if you apologized to Bokuto.” He was talking to you. That, you could be thankful for. At least he was talking to you, rather than whatever enemy the rest of his team must’ve morphed you into before deciding to go through with their little confrontation. “He loves you. You should’ve heard the way he sounded, after he found out.” He faltered, for a moment, but the display of vulnerability was short-lived. “If nothing else, he really does love you.”

It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did. It shouldn’t have, you were sure of that.

That didn’t mean you could stop it from hurting, though.

You didn’t believe them. You weren’t convinced. You wanted to keep going, to try to talk them down, to do anything but roll over and throw yourself into the arms of their psychopathic captain, but suddenly, your throat felt dry, and it was all you could do to stay on your feet. You felt small, smaller than you had a minute ago. You felt vulnerable, even if you knew there was nothing they could do here, on school-grounds, where any passing teacher or student could see. You didn’t want to be here, you didn’t want to do this, but as you forced yourself to notice Akaashi’s careful aversion, how tightly Konoha was holding you…

You realized you might not have a choice, either way.

[that-scouse-wizard]

Hphm profile: Amelia Booth

Just to clarify some things:

-This exists in David’s (Jacob’s brother) AU, so to reiterate: Merula isn’t the mole, the girl version of Rowan is David’s best friend and only Orion from the Quidditch characters is in Hufflepuff.

-Some more things:

-Amelia is two years behind David, starting her first year when David is in third year.

-Her ‘Rowan’ is the boy version and is called Alder in this AU.

Lastly, I hope you guys enjoy!

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General Information

Full name: Amelia Margaret Booth

Nicknames: Amy (usually by friends and family).

Gender: Female

Age: 11-18 (1986 - 1993) 

DOB: 22/01/1975

Species: Human

Blood status: Muggleborn

Sexuality: Bisexual

Alignment: Neutral Good

Ethnicity: White-British

Nationality: English

Residence: Lancaster (During her Hogwarts years and a brief time afterwards).

Edinburgh (After opening an apothecary there as a side business).

Myers Briggs Personality type: ISFJ, the Defender

Character Summary: Quiet and hardworking,  muggleborn Amelia Booth initially finds the wizarding world intimidating. With the right guidance though, she can become a great source of knowledge should one require advice on Potions, Herbology or Care of Magical Creatures. A love of gymnastics and cycling made her the perfect candidate for a keeper on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team.

Personality

Calm: It usually takes a lot to get a rise out of Amelia, there was however one instance when she snapped at Jacob in year 6.

Competitive: David’s competitive streak rubbed off on her once she became a part of the Quidditch scene. Though like him, tries to keep it to a healthy degree.

Hard-working: Despite being intimidated by the wizarding world at first, Amelia persevered in her studies at Hogwarts. Allowing her to become a well-respected member of the Hippogriff club for her expertise in Potions, COMC and Herbology.

Insecure: While she does appear to not care, she’s always worried if people are staring at her scars. She even briefly developed an insecurity around people in her year wanting to get close to her just to hang around with David (who keep in mind was considered a ‘Hero of Hogwarts’ as well as a relatively popular Quidditch player). Other ways her insecurities can manifest are as jealousy and pettiness.

Loyal: Amelia’s family and friends mean the world to her, she’d do anything for them.

Quiet: Amelia tends to keep her head down, preferring to study in silent contemplation.

Witty: Though she normally doesn’t joke about, there are certain occasions where Amelia has an incredible comeback

Appearance

Face claim: Maisie Williams

Voice Claim: Emma Atkins

Game appearance: 

Physique: Athletic and lean, trained to be very flexible from a mix of her gymnastics and cycling.

Hair colour: Dark brown

Hair style: 

Wears her mid-length and neat (1st-3rd year).

Grows her hair out a bit and keeps it in this wild mane look (4th-post graduation)

Wears it in a pony tail during gymnastics practice, potioneering or when tending to magical creatures.

Usually wears it like this for formal events

Eye colour: Grey (Blue in-game)

Height: 5′2′’

Weight: 75kg

Scarring: A diagonal scar on her left cheek, running from just next to her nose to the middle of the cheek, A vertical scar on the right side of her forehead. One on her right forearm. Finally, one that runs from her left shoulder to her chest.

Body modifications: Both ears have a triple lobe piercing, three simple gold bands in each lobe from third year onwards. Gets three small tattoos on the inside of her left forearm, the leaves of a chestnut (her wand wood), an alder (Alder Khanna) and a willow (David, her step-brother).

Inventory: Her wand, feathers from her hippogriff (Valkyrie), a fragment of crystal from her fire crab (Garnet), and a copy of the books Fantastic Beats and Where to Find them, and Advanced Potion Making.

Fashion: Prior to attending Hogwarts, Amelia used to wear smock dresses. Much like David, has a love of punk fashion when in the muggle world. Although thanks to Andre, grew an appreciation for wizarding world fashion and even Victorian fashion.

Background/History:

Pre-Hogwarts:

-Amelia had a fairly happy life, being quite well-off financially thanks to her mother’s accounting work and her father’s job as a plumber. 

-Though she loved her older siblings, Alex and Sarah, the age gap of six and four years respectively meant some obvious differences in the closeness between the Booth siblings.

-Sadly, when Amelia was just five years old, she was involved in a car accident. A driver going too fast rear-ended her father’s car. While her father was killed on impact on account of not having his seatbelt on at the time, Amelia had hers on and was knocked unconscious. This event resulted in her scarring and subsequently, her ability to see Thestrals.

-The accident took a heavy toll on all of the Booths, Lyra though was determined to stay strong for her kids. Getting them involved in various activities in the hopes that it would get their confidence back, for Alex it was muay thai, for Sarah it was shooting and for Amelia, gymnastics.

-While Amelia regained some confidence in herself despite the scars, the accident caused her to develop motorphobia, she can’t stand the thought of being trapped in an automobile. However, she can still ride bicycles and broomsticks, at least then she has control over the vehicle in question.

Year 1 (1986)

-Amelia first comes to Hogwarts when the school is in the grip of the curse of the Vault of Fear.

-This also where she meets Alder Khanna, Rowan’s younger brother, who would become her best friend.

-When she first encounters a boggart, it turns into a Vauxhall Viva (the car her dad used to drive), blaring its headlights and revving its engine. Understandably, this troubles her.

-That event, combined with her insecurity over people wanting to befriend her just to get closer to David causes an argument between the two. This is where she gets closer to Rowan, who even though she’s the older sibling in her relationship, feels somewhat overshadowed by Alder. 

-She reconciles with David thanks to the advice from Rowan and even an assurance by Alder he’s not her friend because she’s close to David.

Year 2 (1987)

-Open Quidditch positions are announced, for Hufflepuff’s team, it was keeper. Having expressed an interest in it, she sought out Orion.

-Orion asked her to balance on her broom, expecting her to fail a few times before she got it. However, thanks to her gymnastics training, she stood up on it first time no problem, something that visibly surprised Orion. It almost immediately made him consider her for a position on the team.

-She got the position and was noted for incorporating her gymnastics into her Quidditch manoeuvres, something that greatly helped in defending the goals from the opposing team.

-Because of this, she becomes quite popular in the school Quidditch scene.

-She comforts David when his friends Chauncy and Philip are killed by a Red Cap while under the sleepwalking curse. Hagrid introduces them both to the Thestral herd on the Creature Reserve.

-Admits to David that she doesn’t trust Rakepick.

Year 3 (1988)

-She selects COMC, Divination and Study of Ancient Runes as Electives. Though Divination isn’t what she hoped, she takes to COMC like a fish to water. While she had experience with certain creatures through her first two years on the reserve, she mentioned wanting to take COMC as soon as was feasibly possible.

-Is there to witness David emerge from the Portrait Vault, shocked to learn of Rakepick’s betrayal.

Year 4 (1989)

-Jacob comes back as the DADA teacher, Amelia confronts him about the pain he caused David last year. This culminates in an argument in which Amelia slaps him and screams, “He’s my brother, you selfish bastard!” Before she storms out the room.

-The biggest event for Amelia is when R comes after her, to truly make sure the condition that David must see a loved one die so that he may enter the Sunken Vault.

-However, Alder intercepts the attack meant for her, resulting in his death. The R assassin, Nisus Snyde leaves, believing the distraught reaction from David is enough to determine that Alder was suitable for the condition to be met.

-She’s distraught as well, blaming herself for being too weak to not help David or protect Alder, a fact that isn’t helped by Rowan also blaming her. This results in an argument between David and Rowan which climaxes with shouting “I wish I’d never met you David Willows!”. Amelia feels even worse after, believing herself to be the one who caused the argument.

-She insists on joining David for the expedition into the Sunken Vault and helps in bringing down its guardian.

-She becomes heartbroken when R murders Jacob but even more so when David leaves in the middle of the night, having snapped his wand.

-Moody tracks her down and talks to her as well as a few others, promising to bring David back and keeping them at Grimmauld Place.

-When David is brought back, it’s here that she alongside David and Rowan form the Circle of Khanna in remembrance of Alder.

Year 5 (1990)

-She assists in keeping David hidden in the Room of Requirement, knowing R is going to come after him. Using privileges she obtains as the 5th year prefect to wander the halls mostly unchallenged.

-She joins in the final battle against R, facing of against Nisus alongside Rowan. The battle ends when Valkyrie (Amelia’s hippogriff) grabs Nisus’s skull with enough force to fracture it, killing him.

-She’s able to complete her O.W.Ls and helps in winning the Quidditch cup for Hufflepuff, David appoints her captain seeing as he’ll be graduating.

Year 6 (1991)

-Takes Alchemy as an Elective.

-(Note may not actually happen but I find the thought of Amelia taking the Golden Trio under her wing to be an intriguing idea).

Year 7 (1992)

-Her status as a powerful Muggleborn makes her a prime target for the Basilisk, resulting in her petrification. 

-Saved by the efforts of the Golden Trio, though forced to cram and take her N.E.W.Ts in the summer.

Post Hogwarts

-Gets in touch with a contact provided by Professor Kettleburn as a trainee magizoologist. Starting up an apothecary business on the side.

-She attends David and Merula’s wedding in 1994 as one of the bridesmaids.

-She joins the Order of the Phoenix in 1995, using her apothecary as a safe house and providing potions for the Order when they’re needed.

-In 1997, her apothecary is destroyed, luckily she’s able to escape and goes on the run from the death eaters.

-She assists in the Battle of Hogwarts in 1998, once again providing potions and healing magic to those who need it. That being said, she takes down a fair few death eaters herself.

-She continues to work as a magizoologist after the war, even managing to rebuild her apothecary.

Family:

Peter Booth (Father, deceased):

Face Claim: Ben Whishaw

A fun-loving family man, Peter worked as a plumber known for his warm attitude. He taught all of his kids how to ride a bike, one of the last things Amelia really remembers about her father.

Sadly, he was killed in a car accident when Amelia was just five years old.

Matthew Hall (step-father):

Face Claim: Ben Miller

A stern but fair CIMA-qualified accountant, Matthew first came into Amelia’s life when she was just seven. When she was eight, Matthew and Lyra officially got together, something that upset Amelia, thinking her mum was trying to replace her dad.

The two would reconcile, though it would take time with the assurance that he wasn’t there to replace Peter. It was he who recognised Amelia’s magical abilities when they manifested shortly before her eleventh birthday.

Lyra Booth (nee Robinson) (mother):

Face Claim: Ruth Wilson

Another CIMA-qualified accountant, Lyra and Amelia are very close. She was shocked when she learned her daughter had magical abilities. It was her demand to invite David over for Christmas in 1984. Something which ultimately proved comforting knowing there was someone looking out for her.

Alex Booth (brother):

Face Claim: Jody Latham

Her older brother, Alex is very much protective of his little sister. Her going off to a boarding school that was part of a world that he had no idea about was worrying. That being said, he begins to worry about her less when she and David try to explain Quidditch to him.

Sarah Booth (sister):

Face Claim: Emilia Clarke

Amelia’s sister, initially very highly strung about Amelia joining the wizarding world and being far more vocal about it than the other members of her family. Though she becomes endeared to David eventually and is even fascinated by stories told to her by Amelia about her magical creatures.

Jacob Hall (step-brother, deceased):

Face Claim: Tom Holland

Amelia was highly of suspicious of Jacob, largely for causing David pain. To the extent she slapped him when they got into an argument after Jacob said “David is my brother, so-” *SMACK* “HE’S MY BROTHER TOO, YOU SELFISH BASTARD!”

That being said, their relationship becomes more cordial over the course of the year and is one of those who mourns Jacob’s death.

David Willows (step-brother):

Face Claim: Dave Franco

Initially intimidated by her future step-brother, Amelia didn’t know what to make of him. After he gave her a demonstration of a Lumos spell, she started thinking he was cool.

Though there’s been the occasional rough patch, Amelia considers David a blood relative and would gladly protect him with her life knowing he’d do the same for her.

Allegiances:

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Affiliations: The Circle of Khanna, The Order of the Phoenix, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Professions: Trainee magizoologist (1993-95)

Potioneer (on the side) (1993-95 then 1998-present) (Full-time) (1995-1998)

Magizoologist (1998-Present)

Hogwarts Information:

Class Proficiencies:

Astronomy: P

Charms: A

DADA: A

Herbology: O

History of Magic: P

Potions: O

Transfiguration: E

Electives:

Alchemy: E

COMC: O

Divination: A

Study of Ancient Runes: E

Quidditch:

Hufflepuff Keeper (1987-1991)

Hufflepuff Captain (1991)

Extra Curricular:

Hippogriff Club

Hufflepuff Prefect: 1991-93

Favourite Professors

Professor Sprout: Her head of house and the one who suggested she become a Prefect, Sprout was there to comfort her after Alder was killed. Amelia often assists in tending to the greenhouses.

Professor Snape: Despite Snape’s dour and very much intimidating presence, Amelia found potion making a subject she often practised in her free time, using Snape’s instructions of course. Though not quite as enthusiastic about him as Penny Haywood, Amelia will admit Snape can be a good teacher.

Professor Kettleburn: Though considered nuts by most staff and students, Amelia very much respects Kettleburn for still working with creatures even they’ve maimed him so many times. She’s even talked with him about her insecurities around her scars.

Least Favourite Professors:

Professor Binns: Like many Hogwarts students, Amelia would rather sleep through Binns’ lessons than study. Even the most fascinating of magical history go in one ear and out the other when Binns is teaching her. 

Best canon friends:

-Barnaby Lee

-Liz Tuttle

-Charlie Weasley

-Penny Haywood

-Orion Amari

Love Interest:

I’ve not decided on a love interest for her or even if I’ll give her one. If you’d like to suggest your MC to be her love interest, let’s chat!

Best MC friends:

David Willows: David is Amelia’s step-brother, being introduced to each other in Christmas 1984. Becoming Quidditch teammates in Amelia’s second year, David would go on to appoint Amelia captain of the Quidditch team

Judith Harris (@judediangelo75​): Judith is the beater on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. During a match, Amelia trusts Judith to keep the bludgers off her back. Judith sometimes supervises Amelia on the creature reserve and will even have races between her Swedish Short Snout and Judith's Ukrainian Ironbelly. 

 Lizzie Jameson (@lifeofkaze​): Lizzie is one of the chasers on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team and was over the moon when Amelia joined as the keeper. Outside of Quidditch practice, Amelia sometimes spends time at the magical creatures reserve with Lizzie and Charlie.

If you’d like your MC to be friends with her, let me know!

Rivals: 

During Qudditch: Andre Egwu, Erika Rath, Skye Parkin, Charlie Weasley, Oliver Wood, Cato Reese (@catohphm) and Katriona Cassiopea (@kc-needs-coffee​).

Otherwise she doesn’t really have any.

Enemies:

R

Death Eaters

Magical creature poachers

Magical Abilities

Wand: Chestnut, phoenix feather core, nine and a half inches, rigid.

Chestnut wands prefer witches and wizards who are skilled tamers of magical beasts, those who possess great gifts in Herbology, and those who are natural fliers.

This is the rarest core type. Phoenix feathers are capable of the greatest range of magic, though they may take longer than either unicorn or dragon cores to reveal this. They show the most initiative, sometimes acting of their own accord, a quality that many witches and wizards dislike. Phoenix feather wands are always the pickiest when it comes to potential owners, for the creature from which they are taken is one of the most independent and detached in the world. These wands are the hardest to tame and to personalise, and their allegiance is usually hard won.

Animagus Form: N/A

Misc magical abilities: 

Occlumency: David teaches her Occlumency when he can to keep her safe from certain threats, especially in relation to R and other magical effects such as the legilimency of the wampus cat. 

Boggart form: Her dad’s Vauxhall Viva, blaring its headlights and revving its engine.

Riddikulus form: The car shrinks and turns into a wind-up toy playing a musical horn.

Amortentia (what do they smell like?): Damp earth and straw

Amortentia (What do they smell?): Lavender and mint.

Patronus: Abraxan.

Patronus memory: The feeling of freedom and wind in her hair as her dad let her bicycle go. She knows he would want his little princess to keep going forward.

Mirror of Erised: Her dad is back, telling her how proud he is of all of her accomplishments.

Specialised/ Favourite spells:

Bombarda (and Maxima): Taught to her by Rue, David’s mother, thanks to that teaching she’s learned to concentrate the spell so it’s much more powerful. Especially useful against creatures with magic-resistant hides such as dragons and trolls

Conjunctivitus curse: Not having the luxury of being a legilimens means Amelia has to get a bit crafty in her spellwork, especially when facing highly dangerous creatures. Blinding them is a guaranteed way to distract them.

Incendio: Useful for starting a campfire on her expeditions as a magizoologist, it helps that it can be used as an offensive spell.

Protego: Always useful when blocking projectiles and other spell attacks.

Misc Information:

She has far more creatures on the reserve than David: A niffler (Glimmer), a porlock (Macha), an Abraxan (Emerald), a fairy (Pearl), a Bowtruckle (Twiggy), a hippogriff (Valkyrie), a Thestral (Skull), a Unicorn (Bismuth), a frost salamander (Sapphire), a salamander (Ruby), a Swedish Short Snout (Torak), a fire crab (Garnet), an Imp (Clanger) and a Quintaped (Angus).

[ducklover52]

On the close #WorldMentalHealthDay I wanna say how proud I am of my friends going to therapy and taking care of themselves.

Also how jealous I am.

warning: this is a very long/extremely personal post. if you don’t wanna get into it, basically, I’m proud of you for going, I’m proud of you for trying, I’m jealous of your strength, of finding a good fit and sticking it out to do so. I wish us all the strength we need to ask for help (we’re not weak, but I know that it feels that way, especially when you’re deep in it), the resources to make it work, and the success of finding someone/something that works for you.

I promise, you can stop here. goodnight.

No? Then strap in because this went on tangents I wasn’t even planning on and I’ll admit I even got lost along the way. I think I picked it back up at the end but oof, it took a minute to get there and that transition isn’t good. Okay here we go:

I saw a therapist a few times during my senior year of college. My ex had started seeing one earlier. I had gone with him a couple times and he helped convince me that it was time. I had lost my mom two years earlier. I thought it would help and he said it would.

His guy wouldn't see me/didn't have time to? I don't remember what exactly the issue was. He gave me a number. I called her and we set up an initial meeting, with my ex's help. I never had the "strength" to ask for help by myself. He came with me the first couple times, just to the appointment itself-not into our meeting. I stopped asking him to go with me after a couple weeks. I was over him. I didn’t want to see him at all in my life and I hated associating him with therapy.

I didn't like my therapist. I didn't think she really understood me. I told her about feeling rejected when I didn’t get cast in the last musical of my college career. She basically said oh well. I told her about the stress I was feeling to get my requirements done. She said make a list. I had a list; I’d been checking off my degree audit since freshman year. I didn’t feel any connection. I stopped wanting to share and started feeling judged. I had always been anxious about seeing her to begin with. I stopped seeing her January before I graduated. I had to miss an appointment to go to the regional theatre festival. I never called to reschedule. It wasn’t a good fit.

I met a guy at the festival. We fell fast and hard. We both had issues. He had someone to see/talk to about it. I didn’t. I remember being jealous of having a doctor who prescribed anti-anxiety meds. I also remember him needing substances to assist the meds, or replace them when he couldn’t get his prescription refilled. I didn’t envy that. When I had had enough of being ignored, as he lived 3hrs away and I was the only one willing to make the drive, I started seeing other guys.

Or rather, I started getting really drunk at parties. The “cast party” of my only time stage managing included getting really drunk at the student conductor’s apartment and playing strip spin the bottle. Sorority parties would lead to making out with a sister’s formal date or going home with a guy I’d known since freshman year. I’d talk with them for a week or so before making up shit about not wanting to date an underclassman since I was graduating. Once I actually started dating one of them, after bonding over our parents passing away. I decided he was too good for me, especially after I had gone to visit the theatre guy one night and the next day had to drive straight from Charleston to a Chipotle date and almost ran out of gas getting there. But that was right before finals, so the timing worked for me.

Before graduating, I started rehearsing for my first post-grad show. It was community theatre near my house, my best friends were in charge, and I was just happy to get a production credit and work with my friends. A friend in the cast started making friends and I followed suit. About a month in I was dating one of the leads.We spent almost every day together. We also drank together almost every night, but we were young and didn’t think anything of it. I thought this was it. I had always wanted a showmance and I got it. We talked about our feelings, about his ADHD, how he went to therapy every week. I thought I found someone else I could really connect to. I shared how I’d struggled with my self-image all my life, how I’d tried therapy but didn’t like it, how I wanted to try again but didn’t know where to start. I thought he could help. I thought he could save me.

But three months in and a party with my high school friends tore us apart. I still don’t really know what happened that night but it threw my into a whole new depression. It didn’t help that we had just agreed on a new show to audition for together. And of course we were both cast. And he started dating another cast member. I tried not to care but I was hurt and jealous. And he kept reaching out. He said we could be friends and I was desperate for attention. When I couldn’t see him I acted out by sleeping with a friend.

He acted upset but never really cared. He told me I needed to see and talk someone to help myself move forward in life. Then he’d stop for a day or so before coming back, usually while drinking. And she found out, though it’s not like I tried to hide it (hey girl, how’s it going) cause I was selfish. When she’d had enough she called it quits. I thought maybe we could go back to before. He stopped coming around. My heart was broken all over because their relationship ending didn’t mean ours would start again.

I had gotten on tinder while I was fooling around with him. During that time. I had matched with and started talking to my now bf. I don’t think he was really looking for anything then. We’d go through slow periods where I’d doubt myself and my worth if he didn’t reply. Eventually my bf ended up ghosting me. My ex had given me the contact info for a new therapist. I’d call the number and hang up before I stopped ringing. I’d visit the website and see how much I could do without giving them my info. I was nervous to start again. I didn’t know if I could trust these people, after they guy who showed me to them had given up on me. I never did get into contact with them. 

My bf came back into my life about 5 months later. But this time when we started talking we didn’t stop. We finally started dating. When I got moody, I tried to express how I felt and why. He did a good job of expressing his feelings and telling me how much he cared. I hadn’t experienced that in a while that I was feeling so good about us. During this time, my dad was dating someone. She and her two kids moved in over that summer. Shit got complicated. She and her kids destroyed my life. I leaned on my bf as much as I could, but we were long distance. My sister had just gotten engaged and she and her then fiance were doing some premarital counseling. She had had a lot of issues coming from my dad and his then fiance and it led to us all needing to go to a session.

During the one or two we attended, my sister tried to explain how we felt about our dad’s fiancee taking over. They’d ask me to chime in and I wouldn’t be able to speak for myself. I was scared. I was still living with my dad at the time and I couldn’t be honest about what I was feeling or experiencing. I was singled out during these sessions and asked about my mental health history and things I didn’t feel comfortable discussing with or in front of my family. I shut down. I was asked to find my own help or see someone else to discuss these things. And I couldn’t get the attention off me. At the time I felt picked on and judged. Like I did when I first talked to someone in college. I felt discouraged. I was scared.

Since then I’ve been kicked out of the house I grew up in, I’ve fought with my bf about the same topics I don’t even know how many times, and I’ve had a couple of the shittiest years to date, including things that I’m still not quite ready to discuss, even in anonymity on the internet. And through this all, and what I was eventually trying to make my way back to, I’ve known that I should probably be seeing someone. I have friends who are in therapy and I’m jealous. I want the relief that comes with sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone who’s job is to help you make sense of it all. But I’ve never found that. I don’t know what it’s like. I don’t know where to find it and I don’t know where to look. And now I’m off my dad’s insurance and couldn’t even afford it if I did.

I don’t know how to end this, except to again, praise those of you are seeking the help you need/want because good for you, you deserve it! We all do. If you’re not currently seeing a professional but you want to, I wish you nothing but success in finding someone you jive with because I know it’s not just a one and done situation. And to those of you like me who don’t know how to go from here, or how to reach out, or even what you want/need, I wish you clarity to figure it out and resources to try to make it work. I hope we all get what we need and deserve in the end.

[lovemesomesurveys]

When’s the last time you ate bread? I had toast yesterday.

What’s the last movie you watched on your own? 27 Dresses the other day.

What about the last movie you watched with another person? Infinity War.

What about the last movie you saw at the cinema? Was it good? The latest Mission Impossible.

Do you attend school, college, or uni? Nope. I graduated in 2015.

What do you study, wherever you study? I majored in psychology.

What industry do you want to be a part of when you’re older? I don’t know. I’m almost 30 and it’s scary that I don’t know.

Are you a Hugh Grant or Colin Firth kinda girl? No.

Kisses on the cheek or the neck? Depends. Those imply two very different moods. <<<<<

How many girls can you trust? Two.

What about guys? One.

How do you earn your keep? I don’t work.

If you could speak three different languages fluently, what would they be? Spanish, Swedish, and French.

How many texts have you ever sent on your current phone? I have no idea. I’m certainly not going to count them.

Who do you usually text the most? My mom or brother.

Baths or showers? Showers.

Cheese or tomato? Cheese.

Shaved legs or shaved arms? Legs.

Did you know they’re currently shaving their arms some people on this years xfactor? Why? Like how does that affect anyone on Xfactor?

Early nights or early mornings? Early nights.

How many coats do you own? Like 5.

What about shoes? I’d say about 6 pairs.

One word to describe your most recent ex? Creative.

Fried, poached, boiled or scrambled eggs? Fried, boiled, or scrambled. Sunny-side up is my favorite, though.

Have you ever been surprised with breakfast in bed? No.

Where, in your current country, would you like to live, other than where you do now? I’m not sure.

Where wouldn’t you want to live? Hmm.

Has your life begun? I may be almost 30, but I don’t feel like it really has. I’m just kind of here, floating through time.

Do you like snow? Yes.

Have you always got good grades? Yes.

Do you like sheer clothing? No.

Name three things that are over-rated: I’m too lazy to think of any.

List four things about your facial appearance: 1. Some freckles.

2. I feel I have a big forehead.

3. Brown eyes.

4. Two tiny, circular scars above each eyebrow from back when I had to wear this thing called a halo after a spinal surgery procedure I had.

List four things about your general appearance: 1. Red, long hair.

2. Short.

3. Long arms.

4. Pale.

List four things you like about yourself: 1. My sense of humor.

2. I’m pretty open minded.

3. I’m a good listener.

4. My love of coffee. ha. I’m having trouble thinking of something else.

List four things you dislike about yourself: 1. I’m very stubborn.

2. I’m very sensitive.

3. I’m very moody.

4. I get irritated too easily.

List four of your favourite TV programs: 1. Riverdale.

2. Catfish.

3. Dr. Phil.

4. The Golden Girls.

List four of your favourite foods/drinks: 1. Coffee.

2. Starbucks Doubleshot Energy drink (white chocolate flavor). Still coffee, but also different okay, shh.

3. Coke.

4. Taco Bell’s bean burritos with extra sauce and their Dorito’s Cool Ranch tacos.

This quiz is pretty different to others, right? Sure.

Cats or dogs? Dogsss.

Llamas or sheep? Sheep.

Have you ever seen anyone famous in the street? No.

Are you hungry right now? A little.

Do any of your friends really irritate you at times? Sometimes.

What do you think of couples who have entire albums just for them, with pictures of them just randomly at home, doing nothing that really requires a photo? I don’t care, man.

Can you cook? Nope.

Can you iron? Never tried.

Can you work the microwave? I’m great at that. ha.

Can you work the washing machine? Never tried. I have help with that.

Do you like your photo being taken? No.

Do you like taking photos of yourself? Every once in a great while.

Have you ever got into a club, whilst being underage? Nope.

How many magazines do you buy a month? Zero.

How many of them are car-related?

What about fashion?

Any celeb gossip ones?

Who will do this note after you? My fellow survey takers.

What pets do you have? A German Shepherd/Lab mix named Princess Leia.

It’s getting pretty cold now, isn’t it? Do you have the heating on? It’s really nice and cool at night. I love it. Nooo, definitely don’t need the heater on.

Do you watch Hollyoaks? Never heard of it.

Do you like Silus? What?

Who’s your favourite?

Who’s your least favourite?

Do you watch Gossip Girl? Nope.

Who’s your favourite girl?

What about guy?

Last gig you went to? Green Day. It’s been ten years since then.

Next gig your going to? I don’t have any plans as of now.