#GOODBYE BAD AND HORRIBLE AGE

[starredforlife]

Thank god for not being 23 anymore and ever again 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[aurorawritestoescape]

BAD BLOOD part 6

Pairing: step uncle Joel Miller x f!reader x stepdad Tommy Miller

Summary: a month after Joel exposed your relationship with Tommy, the Miller brothers pay you a visit and your feelings come to the surface.

Tw: 18+ mdni, smut, fluff, angst, step-cest, big age gap (reader is 22, Joel and Tommy are in their late and mid-40s), dark!Joel, soft!Tommy with darkish vibes, edging, mfm, unprotected DVP, f!oral, ass slapping(2), handjob, multiple orgasms, creampies, cum eating, degradation, praise kink, daddy kink, fingering, swearing. Joel can pick up reader. The pics are for the mood only. Reader has no specific physical descriptions.

Word count: 8,2k

A/n: this is the final part of the main story so I’m very emotional about it. I love these menaces. There’s going to be an epilogue and I’ll probably do some extra stories for them bc I can’t see myself letting them go🥹 dedicating this part to my everything @milla-frenchy ❤️ Thank you for being with me every step of the way! Your support, your help, your love for the characters (mainly Joel *coughs*slut) mean the world to me. Love you sm, baby!!💖🫂😘 big hug to @romanarose for answering my dorm-related questions!🫂 I’m grateful to everyone who’s read the series, liked, commented, rb-ed, sent asks about it. I’ve been overwhelmed with your love and I’m sending you some back����Love you all!!❤️ Hope you’ll like this part! Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Part 5 || SERIES MASTERLIST II Tommy’s Visit MASTERLIST

“I’m off, babe!” your roommate Mel says when you meet her at the dorm on the way to your room. She’s carrying a big sports bag, ready to drive to her parents’ house for the weekend.

“Oh! Your dad’s here. He’s in our room,” she nods in the direction of your suit and adds with a playful smile, “he’s hot!”

You furrow your brows, blinking at her with confusion.

“Dad? But.. He lives in Europe.”

“Ehm…Maybe it’s your stepdad then? He said he was your daddy.”

‘Daddy’. Your jaw drops and your heart plummets into your stomach.

“You ok?” Mel places her hand on your shoulder, with a worried expression. “You look… shook.”

“No, I’m fine… just surprised.”

You wave her goodbye with a strained smile and your weak legs carry you to your dorm room.

Your mind is racing and every step seems to last an eternity. You can’t believe he’s here. A mixture of guilt, fear and excitement fills your chest. What are you going to tell him?

You haven’t talked to Tommy in more than a month, scared to face him, to admit that you had ruined his life because of your desire. You hoped that he realized that Joel was the real villain of the story but you couldn’t deny that all that mess had started with you. After that horrible day, your mom flooded your phone with hateful messages, calling you a slut, a whore and a homewrecker. You didn’t pick up her calls which were rare. Apparently she didn’t want to hear your voice, just like you didn’t want to hear hers. Indifference filled your heart. You had already hated her for years, your relationship ruined long before you slept with her husband.

And Tommy…You couldn’t bear to hear him breaking up whatever thing you two had so you just blocked him. His hate would be too much for you. You had never felt anything like that before and you wanted to save those moments together untainted by his resentment.

You did the same with Joel’s number. But you pressed ‘block caller’ only after you phoned him and cursed the fucker out. How did he dare to drop a nuclear bomb on your life like that? Deep in your heart you knew that he had overplayed you in your own game and your pride was hurt. What made matters worse was your sickening yet undeniable desire for the bastard.

When you come up to your room, you see that the door is slightly ajar. He really is here. After taking a deep breath, you step into the room and find Tommy, sitting on your bed, elbows planted on his knees, your exercise book in his hands. He’s wearing a black shirt with a white tank top underneath and a pair of dark jeans. Your pussy tingles just from a sight of him, his big body, soft curls, but you drive away these thoughts, trying to concentrate on the goal that you set on the way here - to get him back.

Your stepdad raises his eyes to you. Is it a trace of smile on his lips? What if he doesn’t hate you after all? A slither of hope gives you much needed courage and you take a few steps towards him.

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

Your voice is small and shaky and you hate it but it’s stupid to deny your overwhelming feelings for him.

Tommy gives you a little smile and throws your book back on your desk, next to your bed.

“I wanted to see you. We need to talk.”

“Yes, daddy,” you agree, biting your lip and batting your eyelashes at your stepdad.

“I didn’t think you’d call me that after blocking me.”

“I’m sorry, but… I was scared. I thought you hated me. But it’s not my fault. I had feelings for you and Joel used it. He ruined your life. I’d never do it.”

Tommy drops his head, rubbing his hands, and hums. You start seeing red as soon as your step uncle's name leaves your lips and your anger spills out.

“That fucker secretly took the photo and sent it to our fucking family chat?! Who the fuck does that? Is he insane?”

Tommy looks up at you and then his gaze slides to the side, somewhere behind you, before he says,

“You can ask him yourself, sweetheart.”

For a second time your heart jumps in your chest, when a pair of strong arms grabs you from behind and you sense a broad chest pressed tightly to your back. Startled, you are about to scream, but a huge hand claps over your mouth.

“Surprise, angel,” Joel gruffs in your ear while his arm squeezes your waist. You thrust and shake but all your attempts to break free are fruitless against his strength.

“Keep wriggling, baby, I love feeling your ass, grinding against my dick.”

He hums and pushes his hips into you. You sense his huge bulge and your pussy tingles when you remember what he can do with this cock. Joel’s scent envelops you just like his body and you gush. Yet your hatred for the man overpowers your desire and you keep thrashing in his steel embrace. Your nostrils flare, and searching for help, your pleading eyes dart to Tommy.

To your surprise your stepdad doesn’t rush to help you— he sits up straighter and spreads his thighs wider, while his darkening eyes are sliding up and down your bound body, powerless in Joel’s arms.

You whine, realizing that he’s enjoying it, the view is turning him on. You’re getting worked up as well, feeling yourself small and helpless, fully at the mercy of the two men.

Joel’s arm, wrapped over your arms and under your chest, pushes your breasts up and they almost spill out of your neckline. You can feel your step uncle’s breath on your cleavage, and he’s groaning, probably enjoying the view of your tits. A new surge of arousal makes you press your thighs together. Are they gonna fuck you in your dorm room like it’s some raunchy porn? You really hope so.

Not being able to hide your desire any longer, you make a loud moan, muffled by the hand covering your mouth, but it still electrifies the air in the room, and both men grunt.

As much as you love Joel’s strong back and huge bulge pressed against you, scorching anger rises from the pits of your stomach again, and you try to push him off yourself. Tommy’s watching your weak attempts for a few seconds before taking pity on you.

“Let her talk, Joel.”

The older brother puts his hand away and you exclaim, wriggling in Joel’s arms, trying to break free.

“Let go of me, perv!”

"You had this perv's cock in your mouth and your ass not so long ago," he reminds you, not easing his grip.

"I'm not fucking proud!"

"You should be, angel. You took it like a champ both times."

He emphasizes his words with a thrust of his hips and you growl, trying to hide your arousal.

“Daddy, what the fuck? Why’s he here? Why didn’t you tell him to fuck off?”

Joel tightens his python-like embrace and gruffs in your ear,

“Blood is thicker than water, angel. But you and your “mummy didn’t let me host a party and now Ima fuck her husband” will never understand that.”

“It’s not…you know nothing about me, you asshole.” Your voice strains as the rage suddenly mixes with deep sadness. Trying not to burst into tears you grit your teeth as you explain,

“She ruined my whole life, drove my dad away. She cheated on him and now he’s not even talking to me, just sends money for college. It’s all because of that slut.”

Tommy drops his head and you know that he's feeling sorry for you right now. Your pride pangs but a ray of hope dries your upcoming tears - he cares, he still cares about you.

Joel on the other hand is not sympathetic in the slightest, commenting with a chuckle, "Damn, angel, you're a textbook example of daddy issues.

Not saying we ain't happy, right, brother?" He looks at Tommy and adds, "it got our dicks wet."

You begin thrashing harder and exclaim, “Fuck you!”

“Yeah, you will.”

“Let go of her, Joel,” Tommy commands, steel in his voice, and to your surprise, Joel follows his brother's order immediately.

You hurry away from your step uncle and stand closer to Tommy.

Your eyes dart between the men, as you’re fixing your bunched up clothes, panting heavily after trying to get free.

Joel grabs your chair, plops down and places his booted foot on the edge of your desk with a thud.

You’re glaring at him, trying to convey all disgust and hatred for the man with your expression, but Tommy sighs and your gaze darts to him.

“Daddy,” you whisper, taking a shy step in his direction.

His eyes freeze your heart. He looks serious, too serious for your liking.

Tommy leans on his knees again and starts talking, eyes moving between you and Joel.

“Joel is an asshole, sweetheart, you’re right. But what’s new? I’ve known him all my life and I understand what he’s capable of. Yes, he ruined my marriage but to be honest…I’m glad.”

Your jaw drops as you’re staring at your stepdad, and he continues,

“Life with Jess was suffocating me. I thought I needed to settle down, to start a family but I was wrong. I was happy in Austin. And she…fuck,” he shakes his head with a sigh, “She’s a lot. You’re the best person to know it.”

His eyes set on you and you see a genuine regret and sadness in them. You want to reach for him, hug him, kiss him but he needs you to listen. So you listen.

“In an absolutely horrible way, yes, but Joel helped me to get out of it. I’m gonna lose a lot of money in the settlement but it’s just money.”

“Shoulda got a prenup like I told you,” Joel mumbles.

The longer Tommy speaks, the more you can’t believe what you’re hearing.

“Wait! So now he’s your savior, huh? He manipulates you, Tommy! He says what you want to hear and then stabs you in the back!”

“Baby, the only thing I did behind your back is come in your ass,” Joel smirks and then points his thick finger at you, “And not you talking about fuckin’ loyalty! We had a deal but you weren’t gonna do shit with that recording! I saw your fuckin’ heart eyes. You’d never do it to your precious daddy so I had to do it my way. And it needed to be done!”

You narrow your eyes and clench your fists, barely holding yourself from hitting the man, as you exclaim,

“You sent the pic of me fucking my stepdad to my family group chat, you fucker! My nana’s there! She almost died after seeing that photo!

All you get from your step uncle is another bark of a laugh.

“Who gives a shit? She’s ancient.”

“You motherfuckin’…” you’re about to launch at the men but Tommy rushes up and steps between you and his older brother.

“Stop!” His hands are on your shoulders, his eyes kind and warm. “Calm down, sweetheart. Please.”

You take a deep breath and inch closer to him and Tommy doesn't push you away. He hugs you, pulling you closer to him, and rubs your back with his big hands. You immediately melt in his warm embrace with your cheek pressed to his chest, your arms wrapped around his waist. You bite your lip and squeeze your eyes shut, fighting back tears as a mix of strong emotions- hate, love, desire, rage, fills your heart and you take a deep breath, wishing to find comfort and peace in your stepdad's arms.

You open your eyes and see Joel watching you two, his gaze piercing, expression pensive. You’d give a lot to know what he’s thinking about at the moment. Probably scheming again.

You turn your face away from him and press your cheek to Tommy’s chest.

Suddenly he pulls away and looks down at you, head tilted.

“You hurt me, baby. I needed you, and you left. Even blocked my number.”

You swallow loudly, shifting on your feet, as fear is rising in your chest again. With your eyes downcast, you mumble, “I’m sorry.”

“Are you really?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Are you willing to show us how sorry you are?” He sits back on the bed, manspreading, his gaze dark, intense.

“To you? Yes. But not to him!”

“Sweetheart.” His warning tone binds your pride and you stop fighting what you really want. What your pussy wants.

“Ok, daddy.”

A corner of Tommy’s mouth curves up a little and he says,

“Good girl. Take your clothes off.”

Joel groans and slightly shifts in his chair, making it squeak. You glance at him but your eyes return to Tommy.

You start discarding your clothes piece by piece, gaze locked with your stepdad and he drinks in every exposed part of your body. Your panties fall on the floor last and you step out of them.

Now you’re standing in your dorm room completely naked in a company of the two fully clothed older men. You’re already dripping, the wetness between your thighs is evident just to you for now but you desperately wish for them to discover it.

“We’ve talked enough about Joel. Let’s talk about you, babygirl.”

You feel your stomach twist, nervous about what he might say.

"Have you fucked anyone since you left?" Tommy asks, his expression serious.

"No."

Your stepdad's eyes are darting between yours, searching for any sign of you lying.

"Has anyone fucked you?"

You hate that he doesn't trust you but it's hard to blame him —he knows better than anyone how thirsty you're.

"No, daddy. I promise. I've... only been making myself come, thinking of you. All this time.”

You bite your lower lip and purr, "been imagining you fucking me. Your kisses. Your hands on me. Your cock in my mouth."

Tommy's chest expands and he squirms on the bed. You clasp your hands in front yourself and drop your head down, telling him the truth,

"I've missed you. Still miss you."

"Aww, how sweet," Joel mocks you with a laugh.

Tommy frowns at him and you shoot a fiery glance at the older brother for ruining the moment.

“What about your favourite uncle, angel? Have you fantasized about me?”

"No," you reply without hesitation through the gritted teeth.

"Don't lie," Tommy commands, his tone cold and demanding.

You avert your gaze from them both and look in front of yourself.

"Yes," you admit as your voice is barely audible,

"yes, I did."

Joel's smug grin is noticeable even from your peripheral vision.

"What was it about? Your fantasies?” Tommy asks.

"You both fucking my pussy."

"Damn, angel," Joel groans, palming himself.

“I know my pussy is off limits to Joel. I’m sorry for thinking about it, daddy.”

“It’s ok, sweetheart. You’re allowed to imagine whatever you want.”

You inch closer to Tommy and his eyes slide down from your face to your breasts and then to your wet pussy.

Your stepdad licks his lower lip and a memory of him making you come on his tongue in the darkness of your bedroom overflows the glass of your desire and you kneel slowly between his legs.

“Sweetheart,” Tommy breathes out in surprise but spreads his legs wider for you.

“She remembers well where she belongs,” Joel comments as you feel his hungry gaze on your naked back and ass.

You place your palms on Tommy’s jean-clad thighs and sit on your heels, batting your lashes, before you lower your head to his crotch. You press your cheek to his huge warm bulge and whisper, “let me suck your cock, daddy. I want to apologize.”

Tommy takes a sharp breath and Joel whistles. You feel cold air on your naked pussy and squeeze your thighs together to relieve the ache in your needy center.

Then you nuzzle the stiff lump under his jeans and rub your nose and cheek over it. It twitches against you and a moan escapes your lips. Tommy bucks his hips against your head but then his hand on your cheek stops you.

“We have something else in mind for you, babygirl. You can’t deny that you deserve a punishment, right?”

You drop your eyes in agreement and Tommy continues.

“Your step uncle promised you something that morning when we ehm… had breakfast together.”

You hear the squeak of your chair and then Joel’s heavy steps. The older brother stands next to you two and you lift your head to look at him.

He’s looming over your body, tall and broad and your pussy throbs harder as your eyes involuntarily slide down from his handsome smug face to his broad chest and then huge bulge.

“Get your ass on the bed so I could eat your slutty pussy.”

You scream internally, keeping a straight face, and ask,

“Are you that bad that it’s considered a punishment?”

Joel shifts his jaw and gruffs,

“Let’s hope I won’t bite your clit off, brat.”

You wince and Tommy curses under his breath. Then he pulls you up from your knees and gets up too. You’re standing between the two men, burning up with desire to be used and Tommy doesn’t help you to calm down, when he starts taking off his shirt, leaving only his white tank top on and exposing his thick muscular arms. When you glance back you notice Joel is doing the same, and you softly moan at the sight of his broad torso in a mesh top.

“Moaning like a whore already,” Joel mocks you, stepping up to you and pressing his body to your back and ass.

You gasp but don’t pull away. His hands on your hips slide up and down, until he brings one palm to your pussy and gives your mound a light slap.

“Joel,” you whimper as it sends a wave of arousal through your body.

“You’ve been a bad girl, sweetheart,” Tommy chides you, stepping in front of you.

“Worse than usual?” You purr, biting your lip.

With Joel’s at your back, Tommy presses his hips to yours, sandwiching you between the two brothers and your pussy cries for them so much that you feel your slick run down your inner thigh.

With Joel’s arms wrapped around your torso, Tommy locks eyes with you and you reach for his lips but he immediately pulls away, takes your hand and leads you to the bed.

He sits down, leaning his back on the headboard and pats the place between his legs.

“Get in here, babygirl.”

You want to sit on your knees but suddenly Joel roughly turns you around and pushes you to plop between Tommys legs.

Your stepdad pulls you to lean against his warm chest before Joel kneels on the floor.

“Oh wow, big bad Joel Miller on his knees for me? Not the first time though,” you gloat and Joel grinds his teeth and roughly pulls your hips to the edge of the bed. You gasp as your head slides down Tommy’s chest and your naked breasts jiggle. Joel’s thick fingers dig into your skin as he throws your legs over his shoulders, and your pussy blooms for him. His dark eyes get obsidian with lust, as he glides his palms up and down your thighs.

“Fuck, ya seeing it, Tommy? She wasn’t lying about not fucking. This pussy is desperate for cock. ‘m afraid I’m gonna choke on all this slick,” he comments, not tearing his eyes from your needy cunt.

“I’ll be ok with this outcome,” you grunt as your clit twitches with anticipation.

Joel looks up at you with a sneer and then leans down to your mound. You hold your breath, expecting him to finally start eating you out but his lips land on your inner thigh instead of your waiting cunt. He kisses your skin there and you squirm in Tommy’s arms as Joel’s facial hair tickles you. He gets lower, peppering kisses along your inner thigh, moving closer to your center and you buck your hips to meet him halfway and to finally shove your pussy in his face, but Joel places his big palm on your lower belly and pushes your back on the bed. You hear Tommy’s voice over your head,

“Don’t move, honey. Promise to be a good girl for us, ok?”

“Yes, daddy,” you breathe out and tilt your head up and to the side to look up at him. He’s giving you a warm smile, its effect spreads warmth deep in your belly, but soon it turns into a scorching fire, when Joel’s lips finally latch onto your aching pussy. You gasp and turn to him and the sight almost makes you come. Joel fucking Miller, your asshole step uncle, a mean, selfish, arrogant prick, is on his knees for you, feasting on your wet cunt, lips smacking, tongue gathering all the wetness between your folds.

Already feeling like you’re in heaven, you moan loudly, not caring who might hear and catch you getting a head from your step uncle, while your stepdad’s hands are kneading your breasts and twitching your hard nipples.

“You love it, sweetheart?” Tommy whispers in your ear, as you’re fluttering your eyes shut with pleasure, when Joel’s skillful tongue flicks your throbbing clit and then he sucks it into his mouth.

“Yes—yes—yes,” you chant, almost tasting the climax on your tongue. But a second away from the explosion, Joel parts from your puffy cunt and presses his wet lips to your inner thigh again, kissing and nibbling on it lightly.

“No, Joel, my pussy,” you desperately whine.

“What is it, angel?”

“Make me come, please.”

“Good start but you can do better,” he mumbles while he’s watching his fingers trace your sopping hole. It’s hot but not enough to push you over the precipice.

You grit your teeth but your pride is quickly drowning in the sticky pit of desire.

“Joel, please, please make me come on your tongue. Please, I need it,” you beg and his smile is triumphant and content.

“I’ll do anything for my little niece.”

His mouth returns to your pussy and he grabs your thighs tighter as his tongue swirls your clit around and then slides down to your leaking hole.

“Fuck,” you hear Tommy curse and you feel his stiff cock under your back, he must be so turned on by this.

The older brother starts fucking you with his hot muscle and your hand slithers down to rub your puffy clit but Tommy grabs your wrists and pulls your hands up to your chest, crosses them and keeps them there with his one strong hand.

“Daddy, I wanna come,” you beg the moment Joel’s mouth leaves your pussy again and again whenever you feel so close to ecstasy.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but bad girls don’t get to come so fast,” Tommy smirks and his fingers tighten around your wrists.

You feel tears well up in your eyes, your breaths heavy, belly and chest heaving and your whole body is vibrating in frustration.

“Joel,” you sob and your step uncle lifts his head, his lips, mustache and beard glistening with your juices.

“I’ll give the candy to you, slut. But only if you tell me why you love your uncle Joel so much.”

“What?”

“You heard me, baby.” Joel’s lips are so close but, at the same time so far from where you need him. You curse and whine, grinding your teeth while anger is taking over you again.

Joel hurries you by planting a feather light kiss on your clit and your whole body jerks from a bolt of pleasure but it quickly dissipates, leaving you desperately needing more.

So you cave in.

"You're hot, Joel."

"Yeah, I know. What else?" your step uncle mumbles, drawing a path from your pussy to your knee with his lips.

Tommy chuckles and you squirm in his embrace, annoyed and frustrated.

"You... you're a good fuck."

"Mmm... don't ya think 'great'?"

"Yes. You're a great fuck, Joel."

"You sound like a horny slut, angel," he grumbles, "Hot and a great fuck. Way to objectify your poor uncle. I need more."

His lips travel back down to your cunt and you raise your hips in search of his caress, but Joel pushes you down and Tommy's free arm wraps around your waist tightly.

“Keep still, sweetheart,” he orders and emotions take over your mind and burst out of your mouth.

“Wanna know what I feel? I fucking hate you, Joel. I see myself in you and I fucking hate that. Because it’s like I’m staring at my own future. Just like you I want someone so much that I grab onto them until I realize that they don’t need me. Not as much as I need them. So I lie and manipulate and make them love me. But sooner or later they will see the real me. See my tiny black heart and they will get disappointed and dump me. And I’ll lie and manipulate more to get them back. And it’s a fucking cycle. I’ll never be loved for who I am. Because who I am doesn’t deserve any love.”

Joel freezes with his face between your legs, his expression pensive and serious. If you didn’t know him you’d say you see a trace of sympathy and sadness in his eyes.

“That’s why I hate you, Joel. And you know what’s funny? It’s that I can’t get you out of my fucking mind.”

You want to puke at how vulnerable you’re feeling, baring your soul and body to him. You turn your pained face to your stepdad and say,

“I can’t stop thinking about both of you. Is it love? It’s hard to understand. I’ve never experienced anything like this. Tommy, you’re fucking perfect and I made you suffer and I hate what I did to your life.”

You burst into sobs and your stepdad grabs you by the arms and manhandles you to get on his lap. Joel gets up and sits on the bed.

Tommy’s holding you close, your cheek pressed to his naked chest, peeking out the tank top, that you’re soaking with your tears.

He’s rubbing your shoulder with his hand and softly says,

“I'm not perfect. I’m a piece of shit. I should’ve never done what I did to you. We shouldn’t have. And it’s my fault for getting you into this mess.”

You throw your hands around his neck and start crying harder, mumbling through sobs and whimpers,

“No, please— don’t say that you regret it— regret us—don’t leave me like everyone else, please, daddy.”

“I won’t, babygirl. I’m sorry for… for everything. I love you. I’ll be there for you. Always.”

His arms tighten around you and he kisses everywhere he can reach — your forehead,

your temple, your nose until you tilt your face up and he finds your lips. He’s gentle with you, and you kiss him back, smearing your tears over his face but none of you cares. You’re caressing each other, drowning in the comfort of the embrace and the kiss.

When you part from him you press your nose into the crease of his neck and breathe in his scent, nestling into his big body. While sobs still crawl up your throat from time to time, Tommy wipes the wetness off your face and covers your naked body with a bedspread.

For a few minutes it’s quiet in the room, and when you calm down, you turn your red eyes to Joel, surprised that he hadn’t said anything assholish yet.

You find him watching you with curiosity and now you’re sure. He’s upset too.

A strange feeling envelops you. You want to hug him, feel the warmth of his body and share yours with him. But it’s not your relationship, not the way you connect. So you narrow your eyes and croak,

“Do you know how creepy you look when you’re staring like this, perv?”

You give him a little smile and notice a corner of his mouth slightly rising too.

“You surprised me, angel. Jus’ one month without a cock and you go completely nuts. Crying and shit. Throwing ‘L-words’ around.”

Now you’re both smiling at each other.

“Fuck off.”

“Ok, she’s back,” he says and slaps your ass over the fabric. “Ya know, your tears are golden, angel. Any man will do whatever you want if you cry like that.”

“It was genuine, asshole,” you snap back but there’s no bite to it. You feel lighter, all the pent up frustration and pain left your body and were wiped away by your stepdad’s warm embrace and Joel’s quiet support.

The only emotion that’s still tormenting you is desire. You squirm in Tommy’s lap and the bedspread falls off your shoulder revealing your naked breasts.

“Do you want us to leave, sweetheart?” Tommy asks and his breath caresses your tits.

“No, no, please, I want— .”

“What do you want?”

“I want you. I want you both.”

You look at your stepdad and notice him and Joel exchange glances.

“I think I owe you something, baby,” Joel gruffs and you turn to him and the shine in his beard reminds you of his lips on your pussy. The thought sets your core ablaze and you turn back to Tommy.

“Daddy?” you purr and the man nods.

“But no playing around this time, Joel,” Tommy warns his brother with a serious tone.

‘Course. Hop on my face, cry baby, I ain’t kneeling again.”

He lies down next to Tommy, shoulder to shoulder, and you almost squeal with excitement, throwing the cover off. Tommy leans back on the bed and you tell Joel to scoot lower.

“Wanna play with daddy’s cock.”

“Jesus, angel, is there anything you can do without daddy’s cock?”

You don’t reply and plant your knees on either side of Joel’s head.

A rush of dominance goes through your body when you see your step uncle in this position.

“Finally I’m gonna shut you up,” you smirk and lower your hips slowly, eager for your pussy to meet his smug grin.

Yet Joel is not the one to give up control easily and his hands grab your thighs and he pulls you onto his face. Having teased you before, now he doesn’t play at all and starts passionately making out with your sopping cunt, drawing gasps and moans out of your mouth. With his mouth open wide he stimulates you with a perfect suction while his tongue swirls your throbbing clit around.

You are reduced to a whimpering mess in a matter of seconds and you go so high and so fast that you need to ground yourself.

“Daddy,” you call.

“I’m here, sweetheart.”

Tommy unzips his jeans, trying not to fall off the bed, and takes out his cock.

It’s throbbing, the head glistening with smeared pre cum, and you spit on your hand and wrap your fingers around it. You give his manhood a few pumps, and Tommy moans, but Joel gets your full attention, when his tongue prods your clenching hole and then pushes inside you as deep as it’ll go. He starts fucking you with it and you ride his face, rhythmically bumping your clit against his prominent nose.

“Daddy, I can’t,” you whine, failing to concentrate on two acts at once.

“Don’t worry, I got you,” Tommy mumbles and his hand wraps around yours and he starts moving them together up and down his stiff shaft. His head is resting against the headboard but his half-lidded eyes are sliding between your pussy, crying into Joel’s mouth, and the unity of your hands, pleasuring his cock.

Your other hand is clenching your step uncle’s hair and your tits bounce as you increase the pace of riding his face.

You almost there when Tommy pulls your hand off his cock, sits up and mumbles, kissing your palm and panting,

“Oughta stop— too good— wanna come in your pussy.”

“Delicious little cunt,” Joel growls and starts rubbing your clit with the flat of his tongue, up and down, up and down, and you cry out his name, as euphoria bursts in your core and spreads like wildfire all over your body. You’re sobbing with pleasure, trembling over your step uncle's face, dripping juices onto his lips and he drinks them, slurping and groaning.

When the climax subsides you move off Joel’s face and Tommy takes you in his arms. The men are still fully clothed, except for their exposed cocks. You look down Joel's body and realize that he has been stroking his huge hard manhood while eating you out and your core reignites.

Tommy searches for your eyes.

“Do you feel better, sweetie?”

You nod with a tired smile and in a moment your lips crash against his and you kiss while his hands are hungrily roaming your sweat-covered body, your fingers running through his curls.

Not parting from your lips, Tommy brings his hand to your pussy and your legs fly apart. You shift in his embrace, now your back flush against his chest, lips still glued to his, and you moan when he slowly inserts two fingers into your hole, avoiding your oversensitive clit.

You sense a movement and open your eyes to see your step uncle get up.

“Mmm, Joel stretched you well with his tongue,” Tommy murmurs against your mouth. “Your pussy probably can take two cocks now.”

You pull away and stare at him.

“Two cocks, daddy? Do you mean..?”

“Two fat dicks, angel.”

Your head darts to Joel while Tommy’s fingers are still massaging you from the inside and the older brother laughs, lighting a cigarette, standing next to the bed,

“We gonna stuff your needy cunt so full, your belly’ll look like ya 4 months pregnant.”

He takes a drag while his free hand is wrapped around his huge hard cock.

Their words are ringing in your ears- ‘two cocks, your pussy.”

Your head snaps back to Tommy as you plead, “Please-please-daddy-yes-I want it. My pussy can take it, please, please.”

Your brows are pulled together and big needy eyes are glossy with desire. Tommy smiles at you with adoration in his warm dark gaze.

“We can try, sweetheart.”

“Fuck, angel. Your cock hunger sometimes surprises even me. And I know what a giant slut you’re.”

You don’t tear your eyes off Tommy as he coos at you while his fingers are playing with your soaked cunt,

“We still should prepare you. You know we are big. Especially now.”

“Now?”

“Look at you, my beautiful girl. Our cocks are throbbing hard just because of you.”

He leans lower and his lips brush your ear.

“I barely hold myself from taking you right now.” His fingers are moving inside you, slowly at first but gradually increasing the speed.

“My cock demands your little pussy. I’m so close to just sticking it deep in your sweet cunt and using you, taking what I need from you.”

“Fuck, daddy,” you whisper, closing your eyes and spreading your thighs wider, offering yourself to his hand.

You feel him add two more fingers, four inside you now, and the stretch makes you whine but the dull pain adds to the pleasure.

“Yeah, good girl,” Tommy praises you and kisses your cheek, his hand still working tirelessly, preparing your hole for them and bringing you closer to another climax.

You turn your head and see Joel smoking and watching you getting fingered.

His obsidian eyes lock with yours and he winks at you.

“Lemme help you, brother. ‘m afraid to split her poor pussy in half with my dick.”

He bends down and you gasp when you see his meaty hand move to the place where Tommy’s fingers are already stretching you to the limit.

“Joel,” your scared mewl mixes with the squelching noises of your sopping cunt.

“He’s gonna be gentle,” Tommy commands his older brother, and Joel humms absentmindedly as his thick middle finger prods your entrance over Tommy’s digits.

“C’mon, angel, breathe for me. Yeah, good slut, relax your hungry cunt.”

You do as he says and soon you watch his finger disappear inside you, joining Tommy’s digits. With an open mouth you watch two brothers fuck your stretched hole. You grip their wrists, not to stop but to encourage them to keep going.

Tommy's voice is strained with lust when he groans,

“Shit, honey. Listen to her. She’s crying for more. My fingers are drenched.”

His words send you spiraling into the depth of arousal and when the heel of Joel’s hand hits your clit, you cry out. Your body is shaking, your nails scratching their wrists, your face twisting with euphoria.

“Yeah, jus’ like that, little slut. Happy pussy, happy dicks, yeah?”

You barely hear Joel, after two orgasms your brain is mush. Through the fog in your head you hear Tommy’s voice,

“You sure you still want it? Honey, yes or no?”

You nod because of course you do. The way they make you feel when you fuck is the best thing you’ve experienced in your life, the brightest, the richest pleasure. You feel needed, desired, like they will never leave you. Never will be able to exist without you.

“You need to say it, baby, c’mon,” Tommy coos, “Need to hear it.”

“Yes. Please, fuck me both. Fuck my tight pussy.”

“Ain’t so tight anymore, angel,” Joel laughs, “but it’ll snap back after we done with her.”

He gives you a reassuring slap on the thigh and you smile, too spent to talk.

The men get undressed and then manhandle you into straddling Tommy. You kiss him as soon as you’re close, moaning into his mouth as if tasting him is your basic need, one thing you can’t live without. You both seem to get lost in it until you hear Joel’s grumble.

“Quit it, lovebirds. Let’s get to fuckin’.” He’s next to the bed and you turn your head, ogling his gorgeous cock.

“Soon my dick and your sweet cunt will meet, angel. Let’s make their first time special, yeah?”

He tilts your head up with his fingers, bends down and kisses you passionately. You missed his taste, mixed with yours now, missed his lips, his scent, enveloping you. Your pussy aches for him as much as for Tommy and you might hate to admit it but your heart craves him too. His fire is as scolding as it is addictive and you want him to destroy you, in whatever way he wishes.

You wrap your arms around his thick neck and kiss him, really kiss him, like you’re surrendering yourself to him.

Suddenly he lifts you with his strong arms, throws your legs around his waist and starts devouring your mouth like an offering.

You feel his hot cock pulsating between your bodies and you mumble against his lips,

“Fuck me, Joel. Ruin me.”

With a growl he helps you to sit back on Tommy’s thighs.

Your stepdad’s eyes dart between yours as he cups your cheek, “ya making me jealous, sweetheart,” with a smirk he adds, “I love it.”

He’s not lying, judging by the way his hard cock is smearing precum over your belly, and you smile, taking it in your hand and lifting your hips.

Joel encourages you, his heavy hand on your shoulder,

“Yeah, like that, baby.”

Eyes locked with Tommy’s you sink on his shaft in one go and you both moan, joined at last, relishing this sensation.

“Fuck, you’re wet, babygirl. So warm.” You press your tits to his chest, nuzzling his neck and start moving on his length, up and down, slowly and steadily. His hands grab your ass and he kneads and spreads your asscheeks while his low moaning in your ear makes your head spin.

“Ahhh—That’s my good girl—sweet pussy—riding me so well—missed it—hnggg.”

Then he looks up at his brother and grunts,

“Fuck, let’s do it, Joel, gonna come soon.”

“Daddy was celibate just like you, angel. Savin’ his dick for his dear stepdaughter,” Joel chuckles, stepping on the bed and getting on his knees behind you with a grunt. “Miracle that he didn’t bust a nut yet.”

“Fuck off,” Tommy groans and adds, “hope we won’t break the bed,” he smiles at you but you couldn’t care less about it.

“Daddy, what should I do now?”

Instead of Tommy, Joel replies, “Lie forward and enjoy, baby. Your daddies gonna do all the work.”

Tommy nods with a reassuring smile and you lean on his chest, your eyes locked.

Tommy’s cock twitches inside you when you feel Joel’s hands grip your hips and his fat tip prod your already full pussy.

“Be careful, Joel,” Tommy says as his hand rubs your cheek and he stares into your widened eyes.

He moves his thumb to your lips and says, “Suck, my love.”

You feel butterflies in your belly, hearing the pet name, and take his thick finger between your lips and start sucking. It instantly calms you down.

At this moment Joel pushes his tip fully in and you whine around your stepdad's thumb.

“Shhh, the head’s the meatiest part, angel. Now it’ll slide in like a knife through butter.”

Surprisingly enough he’s not lying. The burning you felt before subsides and with his fingers digging into your hips, Joel parts your walls, inserting his whole cock into your slicked up pussy and bottoms out with a roar.

“Fuck me,” he growls and laughs, “My little niece has a perfect hole.”

He slaps your ass lightly and your pussy clamps around their fat cocks, making both of them groan.

“Oh my god, I’m so full,” your voice is shaky, endorphins already coursing through your body.

“Yes, sweetheart, you did it. Shit, it’s so tight inside you now. It feels amazing.” Tommy’s head falls back against the headboard as his eyes flutter shut.

You almost giggle at how great it feels, then take a deep breath and whine,

“Fuck me, please.”

“Damn, you don’t have to ask twice, baby,” Joel gruffs and pulls his cock out almost to the tip before rolling his hips back into you.

The sensation almost sends you over the precipice. You squeeze your eyes shut, your nails scratching Tommy’s chest, and he hisses and thrusts his hips up into you. You gasp when they both start moving and in a few moments the brothers find a perfect rhythm of fucking your stretched hole, their stiff cocks, sliding in and out of your channel, are drawing moans and whimpers out of your open lips.

While Joel is concentrating on balancing his weight on his knees and stuffing your hole, Tommy makes sure to kiss and lick every spot he can reach. His tongue swirls around your nipples, hands grab your flesh, teeth nip your skin. He paints your neck with hickeys, gently kissing the pain away, until his lips reach yours and he kisses you, while the two cocks are fucking you.

Joel interrupts your kiss when his hand wraps around your throat and he pulls you closer to him. Your back arches and you look up at his face, hovering over yours, as he growls,

“Here’s my sweet niece— our pretty fuck doll.”

He begins snapping his hips into you harder, faster sending his cock deeper and Tommy follows his suit, thrusting his member up into your pussy with the same rhythm.

“I told him ya a slut—ahhh, fuck— and look at ya,” he smirks, ruining your pussy, holding your neck tightly, “his good girl’s bouncing on two big dicks, pleading to be fucked like a whore she is.”

“Dreams do come true,” you mumble back with a hazy smile.

Suddenly Tommy’s fingers swirl around your clit and the sensation together with the filthy words, spilling out of Joel’s mouth, pushes you over the edge and you come, harder than ever, trembling between the men, squeezing their cocks with your pulsating pussy while tears of bliss stream down your cheeks.

With a groan Joel licks a tear off your face and pushes you on Tommy’s chest before immediately exploding into your core, spurting warm cum deep inside you.

While you’re still shaking with your orgasm, Tommy embraces your body tightly and begins coming too, pumping you full of his load. Both men are thrusting, the rhythm uneven and hectic, and you’re milking their cocks until their balls are empty. You feel bloated with the amount of cum they squirted into you and soon it starts leaking out around their cocks and sliding down your thighs.

Gradually your climax dissipates while the men are still inside you. The room gets filled with heavy breathing of the three of you. Joel’s manhood slides out of your pussy first and he tilts your head to him and plants a quick kiss on your lips.

“Keep ‘er plugged, brother,” Joel gruffs, getting up, plops in your chair and lights another cigarette. “Happily,” Tommy murmurs into your ear, before he starts peppering soft kisses along your neck. You giggle when his mustache is tickling you, and to make him stop, you press your lips to his and you make out while his softening manhood is still buried deep inside you, in the pool of their cum.

Joel doesn’t ruin this post-orgasmic moment between his younger brother and you, the room is quiet except for the sounds of lip smacking and him smoking. And you’re grateful to him.

When you finally part from each other, Tommy helps you to lie down next to him. The mess between your legs makes you whine and Tommy gets you some tissues and helps you to clean yourself.

Then you settle down next to him on the bed, your cheek on his shoulder and your leg thrown over his thigh.

Meanwhile Joel puts his jeans back on without zipping them up and rests in the chair.

Tommy and you don’t care about the clothes, both reveling in the afterglow. Your eyes are closing when suddenly Tommy asks,

“Do you have any plans for thanksgiving holidays?”

You blink a few times trying to understand the question and gather your thoughts.

“I…Mel invited me to spend them with her family… but I don’t know. Why?” You tilt your head up to look at him.

“I’m moving back to Austin. Gonna live with Joel for now until I find my own place. Maybe you can visit me there. Us.”

Your heart sings and stomach flutters with excitement when you hear his invitation.

“Sounds nice,” you murmur, barely keeping yourself from squealing. Then you look at Joel.

“Would you mind?”

His piercing eyes slide along your naked body, linger on your lips and then lock with yours.

“I wouldn’t. Always nice to have a good pussy in the house.”

You roll your eyes and Tommy shoots Joel a glare before talking to you again,

“What about Christmas?”

You try to hide a wide grin, biting your lower lip.

“You might meet someone by then, daddy. Get yourself a girlfriend,” you murmur, drawing hearts on his chest with your index finger.

“I won’t. I don’t need anyone else.”

He places his hand under your jaw and tilts your head up.

“You’re the only one I need, sweetheart.”

You’re searching for lies in his eyes or his words but don’t find any. Your throat tightens and tears sting your eyes but you blink them away and reach up to give him a kiss. You pour all your love into it, need and desire in every stroke of your lips and tongue.

A few minutes in heaven are interrupted by Joel’s gruff voice,

“Before you swallow each other whole, let’s go find a bar and get me a drink.”

You giggle against Tommy’s lips and turn to your step uncle.

“I know a good place.”

You try to get up but your legs are still weak from all the orgasms, your pussy sore from the double-cock-pounding, so you almost fall, but Tommy’s strong arms help you up.

The brothers smirk and exchange glances, visibly proud of what they’ve done to you, when you stagger to the wardrobe. You’re still leaking and the thought that their cum is going to seep out of your pussy for days, makes you smile.

“Wear something slutty for us, angel,” Joel orders, putting on his mesh top. Then you feel his bulge press to your naked ass as he whispers against your cheek, “And no panties. Wanna play with your messy cunt under the table.”

The vision painted by your mind sends a shiver through your body and your clit twitches.

“Ok, uncle,” you agree and he lightly slaps your ass.

“Good little slut.”

Already dressed, Tommy comes up to your two and you turn around to the men. Joel’s bulge pokes your hip and his sticky gaze slides up and down your body. Tommy places his hand on your asscheek and gives it a gentle squeeze, cooing at you with a warm smile,

“Our good girl.”

You bite your lip, batting your lashes at the men, and purr with a mischievous smile,

“We’re gonna have so much fun together.”

Thank you for reading!❤️ Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! l'd love to hear your thoughts🌺💕

Part 5 || SERIES MASTERLIST |I Tommy’s Visit MASTERLIST

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[allthesethingswillendsoon]

Long, long time

CHAPTER FIVE: There's a first time for everything

SUMMARY: Seventh grade marks some memorable firsts for the girls, both good and bad.

NOTE: Okay whoopsie this lowkey took me ages, but it's over double what I said it would be the other day, but it's not proofread, so if there are any mega plotholes just let me know. I don't mind this one, I think it could've been better but also it's like quite a memorable one for their plot development so like yeah. Also I'm thinking of also posting this on ao3 because I prefer reading on that platform so tell me if you think that's a good or bad idea. Okay, I hope everyone likes it and thinks it's semi-worth the wait.

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Warnings: Little bit of angst, Jealous Paige 6.6k words Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd

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20th of FEBRUARY, 2015

OAKRIDGE, VIRGINIA

It was a normal, seemingly average Tuesday when it happened.

Paige woke up, she chucked on her clothes and went downstairs. She said a quick goodbye to her dad as he left for work and ate cereal at the kitchen counter. When the clock hit eight she grabbed her backpack and locked the front door. Azzi was waiting at the front gate as always.

They walked to school at a not too slow-not too fast pace, Azzi chattering about her crazy dream the night before - something about gingerbread men and a zombie apocalypse. From the moment they started walking to the moment they stopped, the dark-haired girl made a point to fill the air between them with consistent conversation, not that Paige minded, it was nice to just listen sometimes. 

The first bell rang as they entered the school, and the best friends parted ways for their classes, Paige to Maths and Azzi to French. First period rolled into second period, which rolled into third period. Finally, after an agonizing three hours of education, it was time for lunch.

Tuesday was renowned for having the best lunch, mac and cheese. It was simply mind blowing that the lunch ladies -who were almost always one health code violation away from unemployment- were able to create such delicious food. Each bite was other-worldly, the perfect ratio of pasta to sauce. And after such a draining morning, every student at Oakridge Middle School was absolutely desperate for a taste of heaven.

Paige scoffed at the line of eager kids waiting for their bowl, amateur hour. If they were smart they would have known that you’re allowed to get two bowls, if Miss Amanda likes you that is. All Paige had to say on the matter was that Miss Amanda loved Azzi, arguably more than her own daughter. So, with a proud grin, Paige waltzed her way past the queue over to her lunch table.

Azzi and Paige had sat together at the same lunch table every day since they started middle school. They shared their table with a few other girls in their grade, who they were friendly with. It was a peaceful arrangement, and the cohabitation worked well for both groups.

As she neared the table, Paige felt her heart drop, something was very, very wrong. The state of the cafeteria could be described as pure pandemonium. Each pre-teen wolfing food into their mouths like their lives depended on it, and some of the most violent line-cutting techniques could be observed. Paige herself had been looking forward to their silent lunch break, expecting both her and her best friend to be fully focussing on their food as was normal on a Tuesday.

So, when her table came into sight, there was no doubt that something horrible had happened to Azzi Fudd. The scene was comparable to a renaissance painting, amongst all the chaos sat Azzi, two glorious bowls of mac and cheese in front of her, both of them perfectly untouched. She was staring ahead, eyebrows furrowed as if she was deep in thought. 

There were many things Paige didn’t like about the world, but the thing she liked the least was seeing Azzi distressed. With a deep breath she walked over to the table, prepared to beat up whoever it was that had messed with her best friend.

“Hey Az!” Paige exclaimed as she sat down, her voice filled with so much enthusiasm it seemed almost fake.

“Hey Paige.” Azzi responded, glancing at her with that same pensieve look she’d had when she was sitting by herself.

Okay, now this was concerning. Not to be too full of herself or anything, but Paige was usually a fix-all for any of Azzi’s bad moods, so the fact her presence changed nothing, was definitely an issue. 

“Everything good? You look a bit upset.” 

“No, I'm not upset.” The younger girl answered, giving absolutely no sign of not being upset.

“That’s good, I’m glad to hear that.” Sure, she was glad to hear her best friend say she wasn’t upset, but that statement didn’t mean much when the best friend in question looked like she might drop dead from stress in the next minute.

Just before she was able to continue her investigation, Azzi took in a big breath, as if trying to breathe in all the courage she could, before she started, “Listen Paige, I need to tell you something.”

Oh god, what could it be? A death in the family? An illness? She didn’t even want to think, could she be… moving? No. No. That was not the time for spiralling. Paige took a moment to compose herself. Azzi was clearly upset by whatever was happening, and the last thing Paige wanted was to make her even more upset by reacting anxiously. 

In the most calm tone she could muster, she asked, “Okay?”

“I’ve been keeping a secret from you.” Azzi said. She had clearly tried to sound confident, but the words came out sounding oh-so very sad.

“What? You’re a mob boss or something?” She joked, hoping to take away some of the tension that Azzi seemed to be drowning in.

“No, not that.” She deadpanned. Now, Paige was aware that it wasn’t her best joke, but she still thought it deserved a little laughter. 

Normally Paige’s crappy dad jokes were enough to take Azzi’s mind off whatever was troubling her for at least a second, but nothing was cracking her shell. For a moment, Paige let her composure slip, “Just tell me Az, you’re really stressing me out.”

Then, Azzi’s stressed exterior slipped, giving way to a softer look, the one she saved for Paige, “Okay, so you know Aaron?”

Paige ran through a mental list of kids in their grade before she questioned, “Aaron B or Aaron W?”

“Aaron B.” Azzi replied. It was probably a trick of the light or something, but Paige swore that as her best friend answered the corner of her mouth flickered up into a smile.

“Yeah I know him. Didn’t he pee his pants sleepwalking at sixth grade camp or something?” Paige chuckled at the memory, there was nothing like the silly fun of a school camp.

“That was Aaron W, not Aaron B.” Azzi stated matter-of-factly. 

Not laughing at the mob boss joke, sure Paige could get that. But not laughing at the thought of a twelve year old sleepwalking and sleep-peeing, simply unheard of.

Paige usually had pretty thick skin, but for some reason Azzi’s reaction mellowed her out, “Oh, right.”

For the second time, Azzi softened, her gaze meeting Paige’s almost apologetically, before she continued, “Anyways, so Aaron B?”

It was weird, the way she was acting. Her worried demeanour was a stark contrast to the urgency and statementness of her words. It seemed as if Azzi had been tasked with telling Paige this secret with as little personality as possible.

“What about him?” Paige questioned, deciding to help the younger girl move her explaining along.

“Well…” Azzi started, before suddenly developing the most intense interest in staring at literally anything other than the blonde girl sitting with her. A solid minute of silent waiting passed by, with Paige waiting to see what she had to say, and Azzi questioning if it was too late to back out.

Just when Paige thought she would never hear her best friend speak again, Azzi blurted, “He asked me to be his girlfriend.”

“What?! Paige near-yelled, she had almost stood up from the table in her outrage,“You said no, right?!” 

Who did this chumbag think he was? Asking the Azzi Fudd to be his girlfriend? 

God, it must have felt great for Azzi to put him in his place.

Nothing in the entire, ever-expanding universe could have prepared her for the words that came out of her best friend’s mouth, “I said yes.”

The words dropped like a bomb, waves of shock almost knocking Paige to the ground.

“What the fuck Az!? Why!?” This time Paige stood up from the table, hands slamming down, shaking the bowls of mac and cheese, before Azzi pulled her back down.

She got this shy look on her face as she spoke, her cheeks and ears burning, “I dunno. He’s cute, and he’s nice and funny.” For the first time during that lunch break, Azzi smiled. It was a different smile, one Paige hadn’t seen before. Once she saw it, she immediately wished she could unsee it. There was something about that smile, it held a different weight than her usual ones, like it meant something more, something deeper than when she smiled at Paige.

There was only one explanation, Azzi had gone crazy, and as her lifelong best friend, it was up to Paige to talk some sense into her, “Yeah, so what? I’m all of those things, doesn’t mean you’re gonna date me!”

Paige’s words settled in the air as Azzi returned her gaze to her. For the third time Azzi’s demeanor softened. She looked at her with such lightness, as if the weight of her vision would crack Paige’s skin open. Normally she liked it, but normal definitely did not include her best friend dating some random boy she barely knew,

Paige knew she was strong and she didn’t like to be babied, her exterior was tough and hard to break. The only people she ever really let loose around was her dad, and the Fudds. She knew none of the kids at school would ever be able to pick it, but she was a major dad’s girl. Not in the stereotypical, ‘pink princess’ way, but just in the way that her Dad was her hero, and Bob gave everything he had and more to Paige no matter what. With the Fudds, they were like the extended family she had never really had, being with them was great, she knew she was like a daughter to Katie and Tim, and like a sister to Jon and Jose. That being said, they were the people who saw her at her highs and lows, and they knew when to go hard or easy on her.

But with Azzi it was different. With Azzi she let herself go soft, let her guarded exterior turn mushy. Paige couldn’t count the amount of times she had cried over her mom, over life, tucked into the crook of Azzi’s neck. She would look at her with those soft eyes, and Paige knew it wasn’t patronising, she knew Azzi would never hold her moments of vulnerability against her. It was the only time she would ever let herself be unguarded. 

But in that moment not even the look on Azzi’s face could make her feel better.

Yet, the whole situation was somehow made worse when Azzi spoke again, “It’s different Paige. Surely you’ve had a crush on someone before, it’s just different.” 

With her words, some deep-seated anger arose from Paige. It was a weird feeling, being upset with Azzi - it had never happened before. Why would she say that, “It’s just different.”? Like their friendship meant nothing in comparison to her snapchat streak with a un-potty trained seventh grader.

“Yeah whatever Az.” Paige spat, her voice dripping with venom, “Why don’t you go and change his diaper or something?”

That time, Paige’s words were the ones to shock Azzi, “Why are you mad at me?!” Confusion was etched all across her face. “And also I told you that was Aaron W not B!”

“Same-same. Now if you don’t mind I have some Mac and cheese to eat.” Paige spoke dismissively, turning to give her full attention to her mac and cheese as she poked at it.

Paige avoided eye contact with Azzi like her life depended on it, not even daring to glance at her as she stared at her from across the table. It wasn’t until the second end-of-lunch bell rang that Azzi finally got up, leaving Paige to sit there with her thoughts.

And for the first time ever, Paige sat without Azzi at the table, and binned two, full bowls of mac and cheese.

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24th of FEBRUARY, 2015

OAKRIDGE, VIRGINIA

Paige had never considered herself a violent, or mean person. But there was just something about seeing Azzi and Aaron together that made her want to scream and yell and throw things. There were just so many things to dislike about Aaron, it was really hard to pinpoint exactly what made him so horrible.

Objectively speaking, he wasn’t ugly per se, but he definitely wasn’t a looker either. He had a button nose, a sharp jawline, clear skin, and bright green eyes. 

When she put it like that she knew that it sounded like he could be attractive - but he was not. 

Looking at Aaron was a jarring experience. It had never occurred to Paige how creepy-looking he was until Azzi started dating him.  Aaron had managed to ruin her brooding time, she couldn’t glare at her best friend without seeing his ugly face, or hearing his revolting voice - or worse, his laugh.

When she heard two girls in English talking about how lucky Azzi was to be his girlfriend she barely stopped herself from turning and strangling them both, and instead shut her mouth as tight as she could, and clenched her fists till her knuckles were pure white. 

To take her mind off the situation, she imagined him as a child, coming home from yet another lonely, friendless day at school to find his mother hosting an afternoon tea with her friends. They would fawn over him, and say “You’re going to be such a heartbreaker!” as they pinched his cheeks. Of course, they all knew it wasn’t the truth, but that’s just what you say to unfortunate looking kids, who grow up to be unfortunate looking pre-teens that ask out girls way out of their league.

Maybe what irked her was the fact that Azzi had smiled when she spoke about him, that saying the things she liked about him broke her out of her broody trance. Or maybe it was the way her cheeks had tinted the prettiest pink. How the galaxies in her dark brown eyes lit up a thousand times brighter. How the dimple in her cheek popped when she hung out with him, how her laughter at his shitty jokes echoed through the halls, honey sweet and sing-songy.

It was only when she came upon that specific reason for not liking him that she realised that maybe that gnawing, sour feeling that had settled low in her belly was something more akin to jealousy. And then, in the same strand of thoughts she decided to stop thinking altogether about why she didn’t like him, and instead just double down on the fact that Aaron sucked and she absolutely hated him. 

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27th of FEBRUARY, 2015

OAKRIDGE VIRGINIA

The final nail in the coffin came when Paige left her third period Spanish class. 

It was a Tuesday, which meant the best mac and cheese in the world. But it also meant it had been a week since Paige and Azzi had last spoken.

If avoiding Azzi was an olympic sport, then Paige had become a twenty-time gold medalist.

 For the first few days they weren’t talking, Paige made a point to stay in Azzi’s vision. She had decided that if she had to be reminded of the emptiness of Azzi in her life, then Azzi should be reminded of Paige. She made sure to be subtle with it, instead of standing directly in front of her, she’d ensure that Azzi would catch glimpses of her from her peripheral vision. Paige would watch as Azzi would spot her, then she would force herself to keep a straight face as she watched her best friend apologise to Aaron for forgetting what it was he had been saying.

That whole thing had been going perfectly, exactly to plan, but then it just started to make her really sad and really angry, and then, of course, her only option was to avoid Azzi, no matter what it took.

She thought it would be simple, she knew Azzi's entire timetable, she knew which hallways she walked down, she wouldn’t be surprised if she could estimate the amount of steps it took for her to get from point A to B. So in theory, it should’ve been smooth sailing to stay away from her, but nothing in her life had been easy, except Azzi - up until that point.

Aaron simply had to ruin, not only her friendship with her best friend, but also her ploy to never see her again. Obviously, because she wasn’t weird, she had absolutely zero idea about Aaron’s timetable, let alone his whereabouts, and in the past week the boyfriend-girlfriend duo had become attached at the hip, meaning it was nearly impossible to avoid them. The key word being nearly.

Paige had been working tirelessly to avoid the both of them, and somehow she had been able to manage it. Her genius strategy? Waiting till the second bell to leave for her next class. On the negative side, she had sprinted away from basically every hall monitor in the school multiple times. But on the positive, she had not seen Aaron and Azzi together in days, which was basically all she wanted.

As glad as she was to not see them together, it was the first time ever that Paige wasn’t on speaking terms with Azzi, and it made her really, really sad. Which was why she wasn’t thinking straight when she left third period Spanish and walked her usual route to the cafeteria - out the language corridor, round the gym, past Aaron and Azzi holding hands, then home-free into the cafeteria.

What. The. Actual. Fucking. Fuck.

Paige isn’t a squeamish person in the least, but the sight of Azzi’s soft hand encased in Aaron’s sweaty one nearly made her throw up. It was surreal, it felt like time had paused, like Paige was floating in time, stuck in place staring at them as they walked hand-in-hand down the hall.

She could have stayed in her trance all day, glued down in the centre of the hallway, but thanks to Mac and cheese Tuesday the hordes of smelly tweens are pushing her forward towards the cafeteria.

Just like the week before she walked past the lunch line and went straight to her table. Since Azzi had been sitting with Aaron and his little minions, Paige had been left to sit with the girls they shared their table with. There were four of them, and they were nice, something Paige had never cared to notice, too busy with Azzi to pay attention to the girls sitting two feet away from them.

They were nice in all the cliche ways, but what made their kindness stand out was the fact they had not mentioned Azzi once, and had simply invited Paige into their conversations. It was good for her to talk to other people, to get out of her head. 

She was aware that she hadn’t been looking or acting her best since the previous Tuesday, but no one had said anything or shown a reaction to her disheveled appearance. It was only on that Tuesday, when Paige had stomped her way to the table that the girls had acknowledged her delicate state.

“Hey Paige!” Shania greeted, her friendly smile quickly growing concerned as she and the rest of the group took in her severely agitated condition, “Are you alright?”

“Wha- Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Nothing to worry about here!” The table continued to stare at her worriedly, perhaps more so after her seemingly, self-assuring response.

“Oookay, cool.” Shania responded, voice filled with nothing but good-willed apprehension.

The table fell into silence, the girls trying to figure out how to deal with Paige’s nuclear state, and Paige trying to act as normal as she could after seeing her best friend of seven years holding hands with a grubby boy.

“Oh my gosh, I forgot to tell you about this Paige! There’s a party this Friday at Ryan’s, and you should totally come along!” Emma squealed at her excitedly.

“Yeah, sure, I’d like that.” Paige responded, trying her hardest to sound happy despite herself.

“Yay! I’ll text you the deets,” Emma said, passing Paige her phone, encased in pink diamontes, “Put your number in.”

Paige dutifully poked in her phone number before handing it back. The girls fell into conversation about the party, talking about drinks and other people that were going. Paige was content with letting it go in one ear and out the other, until she heard the name ‘Aaron B’ sandwiched in between the names of the other partygoers.

Aaron going to the party meant Azzi going to the party, that meant they were both going to the party that Paige was going to. Great. Just great. She would get front row seats to their love-fest, how exciting.

For some reason that knowledge didn’t make her cancel, instead it fueled her with reasons to go. She wanted to be there, and wanted to be the one to surprise Azzi with her presence. She wanted her to feel that same stomach dropping feeling she had felt all week, she wanted to be the one with the upper hand. Another, softer part of her, wanted her first, boy-girl, alcohol party to be the same as Azzi’s, even if they weren’t experiencing it together, together.

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2nd of MARCH, 2015

OAKRIDGE VIRGINIA

The school day had dragged on for so long Paige had accepted the fact that it would never end, meaning she nearly cried tears of joy when the end-of-school bell had rung out through the halls.

Ever since Tuesday she had been buzzing with both nerves and excitement. She was convinced that going to her first proper party would cause some cosmic shift within her universe, like the clouds would part and the angels would sing to her the second her hands touched the glass of a lukewarm berry cruiser.

With much more enthusiasm than necessary she had swiped her book into her backpack and power-walked out of school. That had become a prime part of the ‘avoiding Azzi’ plan, leaving way too early for school in the morning, and booking out of school the second it ended to make sure their paths didn’t cross.

As she walked into their street, a pang of guilt struck through her chest at the sight of the Fudd house. It had been killing her, not just the radio silence between her and Azzi, but the subsequent disconnect that had happened between her and the rest of Azzi’s family. 

It was odd, she hadn’t felt the shoulder punches from Jon and Jose in over a week. Hadn’t been yelled at motherly by Katie in over a week. Hadn’t been pulled into a daughter and extra-daughter hug by Tim in over a week. They were things that were a part of her daily life that she had always taken for granted, assuming they’d always be there. 

That wasn’t the only thing she had missed, mostly she had been missing Azzi. Paige missed her so much, she just missed everything about her. And she had officially decided that she would try to make up with Azzi, preferably as soon as possible. Her best case scenario had her hoping for a reconciliation at the party that night. All she had to do was pull her away from Aaron and she was golden, she was one hundred percent sure that Azzi would forgive her once she apologised, because she really was sorry.

The more and more she thought about the whole situation the more she realised how absolutely crazy she had been acting, from quite literally the moment Azzi told her. It was like a switch had flipped in her brain, and all rational thinking had been thrown out the window.

As she showered and got dressed for the party Paige was growing increasingly excited at the prospect of speaking to Azzi again after what felt like a lifetime of separation.

She got her dad to drop her off at seven-thirty at Ryan’s house. Her dad had given her a stern talking to about drugs and alcohol, and the dangers of them. 

Unfortunately, Bob would have been severely disappointed to find out that Paige had accepted a cruiser immediately upon arrival. As excited as she was to talk to Azzi, she was also desperately nervous about going to her first party, and having to enter by herself. Although the cruiser didn’t reveal cosmic secrets to her, it did send the lightest buzz through her, and inspire her to go to the kitchen and concoct a wickedly bitter vodka-juice blend in a plastic red cup.

After a while of floating around, Paige spotted Shania and her friends in the corner, and quickly made her way towards them. As she does she scans the room for Azzi and/or Aaron. That still made her upset, that they were now always together, like Paige and Azzi usually were, but whatever, Paige was there to make up with Azzi, not trash on her stupid boyfriend.

She walked up to the girls and fell into the simple chatter that they constantly had going. It was nice, they were nice, the way the alcohol made her feel was nice. She was content, simply standing there huddled in a circle with them as they discussed something Paige really didn’t care about. It appeared they were going to stay like that, until someone yelled ‘Spin the bottle time!’.

Suddenly, everyone, including Paige, was shoved into the basement, a large, misshapen circle of people sat in the centre of the room. Scanning the room once again, Paige finally saw her.

Azzi was sitting in the circle, pressed up against Aaron on one side and some random cheerleader on the other. She was wearing a pink sweater and her nicest pair of jeans, her hair was out and her lips were glossed a soft mauve. To put it simply, she looked really pretty.

Paige was leaning against a wall, her third drink and second cruiser of the night held firmly in her hand. She had opted out of the game, not wanting to have to swap spit with some stupid boy in her grade if the bottle were to land on her.

It suddenly hit her that she was sitting out of the game because she didn’t want to kiss someone, and that Azzi was sitting in on the game because she did want to kiss someone. And that someone would obviously be her boyfriend.

The thought of Azzi kissing him made her shudder, but she pushed it to the side. Azzi was her best friend and it should not have mattered to Paige who she kissed, so she decided not to care.

For the amount of hype the game had received, it was actually quite boring. Someone would spin the bottle, the bottle would land on someone, they would kiss, then the process would repeat. It wasn’t until Kathy Libertman spun the bottle and it landed on Johnny Albertson that there were some oohs and aahs. The fact that Kathy had the world’s most massive crush on Johnny was as widely accepted as the fact that two plus two equals four.

As Paige chuckled at the spin she glanced towards Azzi, who looked up at her at that exact moment. Instead of looking away like she would have a few days ago she held her gaze, blue eyes on brown for the first time in too long, and smiled just a little. A look of confusion mixed with shock passed over Azzi’s face before the corner’s of her mouth flicked up.

God that felt good. The cruisers hadn’t changed her life, but seeing her best friend smile at her like that again made Paige think that maybe the universe was on her side.

After Johnny had adeptly swerved Kathy, a few more rounds passed. Then, it was Aaron’s turn. Azzi was trying to play it cool, but Paige knew every single one of her nervous tells, the clench of her jaw and the furrow of her brows softening for a second as Paige gave her an encouraging nod.

Aaron reached into the circle and spun the empty coke bottle. It spun and spun and spun before coming to a perfect stop between Azzi and the cheerleader next to her.

The chatter of the room dissipated immediately as everyone watched in anticipation. Azzi was visibly distressed, and even Paige was nervous as to where the situation was headed.

Aaron hesitated for a moment, his gaze flickering between his girlfriend, the strawberry-blonde girl next to her, and the coke bottle. With a big intake of air, he leant forward over Azzi and kissed the cheerleader. The room erupted in a mix of confusion and support.

Everyone in the room was watching as Aaron and the cheerleader kissed for what seemed like forever, but Paige had her eyes trained on Azzi, who looked like a deer in the headlights stuck between them. Pushing through the room, Paige reached a hand out to Azzi who gladly took it and let herself be pulled out of the room and onto the street.

They stood in companionable silence, there were things they needed to say, but not yet.

It was nearing eleven o’clock when Paige called her dad to pick them up. The night air was chilly but when Paige’s hand brushed against Azzi, her whole body heated up from her best friend’s warmth.

Paige didn’t know if Azzi had been drinking or not, but she knew when they got into her dad’s car that he would know that Paige had in fact been drinking, and hadn’t heeded her dad’s warning. She expected a lecture on the danger of drinking but instead was met with absolutely zero conversation directed towards her, instead, her dad was talking to Azzi, catching up with her about the past week and a half of their lives. It hadn’t occurred to her till then that Azzi was just as much a part of her family as Paige was a part of hers - she had missed Azzi in her life so much.

The two girls went straight to Paige’s room and Bob to his. Only when they were tucked safely into the gentle warmth of the bedroom did Paige speak, “Listen, I’m really sorry Az. I don’t know why I was being so crazy, he just made me so upset, like I knew you were way out of his league and I just knew that you deserved way, way better than him.”

After her rant Paige sort of expected Azzi to get mad at her and let out her anger at the whole situation, yet Azzi simply smiled, “Yeah you were being pretty crazy, but I’m sorry too”

Paige scoffed at that, earning a confused chuckle from Azzi, “What are you sorry for? You literally did nothing wrong.”

“Well I should’ve told you ages ago, we had been texting every night for two whole weeks before he asked me out, and I don’t really know why I didn’t tell you… It’s just  that I was really worried you were gonna react… exactly like you reacted, y’know?” The curly-haired girl explained.

“Yeah, I get that, I did have like the worst reaction a person could have,” Paige confessed softly  “I mean, I’m just so sorry Az, I wish I never got angry, I’ve missed you so much.” 

Azzi pulled the blonde in for a hug, her head nestled in the crook of Azzi’s neck, the familiar, sweet aroma of her perfume filling her senses.

With a squeeze Azzi pulled away, before she flopped face-first onto Paige’s bed, “God that was so embarrassing.”

It was quite the situation, but it was definitely way more embarrassing for Aaron, like, fumbling the single-most pretty and smart and kind and funny girl in the whole school. She decided against saying that, and instead tried to lighten the situation, “Could’ve been worse, you saw what happened to Kathy.”

“Yeah, but Johnny’s not her boyfriend.” Azzi mumbled from her spot splayed out on Paige’s bed.

“That’s true I guess.” Paige responded thoughtfully, accepting defeat.

“Great. thanks Paigey.” She grumbled light-heartedly.

Right before Paige went to apologise Azzi sprang up into a sitting position on the bed, “It just sucks y’know?”

“Yeah I know.” Paige hummed in agreement. Their shoulders were pressed together again, and Paige could feel the touch and the alcohol mixing and making her brain short circuit a little 

“Like I really thought I was gonna have my first kiss tonight” Azzi huffed in upset annoyance.

“Well look on the bright side, he’s a mega dick, so really you dodged a bullet.” Paige reassured her. 

As much as she was glad that Azzi had found out what a douche he was, she wished even more that it had happened quietly, not in front of a big crowd of people.

“You’re actually quite right.” Azzi agreed after considering her statement for a moment.

Paige playfully shoved her with her shoulder, “Of course I am.”

Azzi went quiet for a second before she turned to look Paige in the eyes, “Yeah. I want my first kiss to mean something. To be with someone that really cares about me and stuff.”

The words came from her mouth before she could think about what she was saying, “I mean you still could.” 

Paige didn’t know what it was that made her say that. Maybe it was the liquid courage from before. Or maybe it was the adrenaline from making up with her best friend. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the way the streetlight glow filtering in through the windows was hitting Azzi’s cheekbones just right, how her lashes were long and her lips full. How Paige wasn’t sure she had ever truly appreciated Azzi’s beauty before the way it was meant to be.

“What do you mean?” Azzi asked. It seemed like a question, but with the way Azzi was batting her eyelashes at her, it started to seem more like a challenge.

Paige’s brain actually did short circuit for a split second that time, but then, mostly thanks to the liquor, she decided to just double down and speak with confidence.

“I think you know what I mean” She responded, her blue eyes flickering from Azzi’s doe-y brown ones to her soft lips.

Almost imperceptibly, Azzi shifted closer. 

“Yeah.” She breathed out shakily, breaking eye contact to not so subtly look at Paige’s mouth.

“So can I?” Paige asked, moving her hand to rest on Azzi’s shoulder; confidence suddenly oozing out of her every pore.

“Yes.” Azzi responded quickly, her eyes trained only on her best friend’s mouth, before starting again, as if trying to regain some dignity, “Yeah. Yes please.”

Paige gave a soft smile before moving her hand up to cup Azzi’s jaw, the other settling feather-light on her waist. She watched as Azzi’s breath hitches, and her eyes flickered close. Paige followed suit, leaning in slowly. Azzi’s hands were hovering over both of her shoulders, as if unsure of what to do. Paige doesn’t mind though, if it weren’t for the alcohol that was running amok through her system they probably wouldn’t have even been in that situation in the first place.

After an eternity of leaning in, their lips touched in a soft peck. Only for a second, before they pulled away. Azzi tasted sweet, like canned lemonade and strawberry scented lip gloss. Her skin was warm under Paige’s hands.

Maybe it had been minutes or days or years since their kiss, neither were sure. All Paige knew was that she wanted to kiss Azzi again, and so she did. That time she let herself linger, let herself apply a little bit of pressure, and in return Azzi pressed in a little harder too. When Azzi made a little sound of contentment Paige thought she might explode. She wanted to keep going, but something told her to stop, to let it be good just as it was.

When she pulled away and opened her eyes, Azzi still had hers closed. And for a split second, Paige swore she caught a smile on her face, a kind of smile she had never given to Paige before.

Now that was it. That was the cosmic feeling Paige had been waiting for. Scratch the cruisers, scratch everything else, that was the feeling. The kind that people chase their whole lives, and Paige had just experienced it on a random Friday night in the quiet of her room.

Friendship really was magical. 

Azzi was her best friend, of course it would be her, they were the closest of all platonic soulmates.

A few seconds later, Azzi opened her eyes, and smiled at her. Her hands were still on Paige’s shoulders and she decided that she wouldn’t mind holding onto each other like that forever.

Kicking off their shoes they surrendered to wearing their outside clothes to sleep. Paige had a double bed, which was the absolute perfect size for two people in Azzi’s opinion.

They tangled together in a mess of warm limbs under the blanket. Azzi had her head on Paige’s chest, listening to the rhythmic thumping of her heartbeat.

“Thanks Paigey. I’m glad you were my first kiss” She whispered against her jumpered chest.

“I’m glad you were mine too Az, that’s what best friends are for, right?” Paige smiled good-naturedly, her chin coming to rest against Azzi’s head.

Azzi let out a little choked sound before she responded, “Yeah, best friends, totally.”

Paige ignored the weird way she was talking - it had been a long night - and pulled Azzi into her just a little tighter, prepared to let sleep take over.

Just when she thought she was about to fall asleep she heard Azzi’s whisper again, “Paige, you were right.”

“Yeah I usually am.” Paige smirked sleepily.

“So full of yourself, god.” Azzi said as she used her arm draped around Paige’s waist to poke her in the side.

Wincing slightly Paige gloated, “That’s like the second time you’ve said something like that to me tonight.”

“Yeah whatever you goof.” Azzi conceded, seemingly forgetting about whatever it was she had to say.

Paige wanted to sleep, but she wanted to know what it was that Azzi was going to tell her, “Wait, so what specifically was I right about?” she asked as she gave Azzi’s shoulder a soft squeeze.

“Oh right” Azzi spoke softly, “It was Aaron B.”

Azzi always got a little out of it when she was tired, but she always remembered to finish her sentences, “It was Aaron B, what?”

Paige thought she had fallen back asleep after Azzi had gone silent for so long, but after taking a quick inhale of breath Azzi answered quietly, “It was Aaron B that peed his pants on sixth grade camp.”

If it weren’t for the fact Paige was so determined to know what Azzi had said she would have missed the softly spoken words, but she didn’t and she was so glad she heard them.

Paige burst out laughing and Azzi followed along.

“You’re kidding me!” Paige wheezed between gasps.

But Azzi was too busy laughing so hard she could barely breathe, clutching onto Paige’s arm as her mouth opened wide in silent laughter.

That was how they fell asleep, tucked into one another as their heaving laughter gave way to shallow, sleeping breath.

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Feel free to send me asks or opinions and stuff in my inbox or DMs, responding to them is my favourite it's so much fun. As always, thanks for reading :)

[thedarkestrivernymph]

Caught

Yandere!Demon x Gn!HauntedReader

warnings: mentions of bullying, sleep paralysis, mentions of hallucinations, paranoia, drugging, attempted kidnapping, attempted murder, murder, gore, death

©Copyright -2024-thedarkestrivernymph - All Rights Reserved

Slender gnarly hands slithered over your exposed skin, curling around your throat, squeezing so tightly that black spots floated around your vision.

You were being chocked.

A silent scream was caged in your throat, while your eyes ripped wide open and death was awaiting you, and you couldn't do a single thing other than stare into two large orbs of never ending black depth.

This was your final moment, the last seconds on earth, you had to do something, anything or else you were going to die—

Or were you?

Hiccuping and gasping you awoke to your sheets drenched in sweat, trembling all over with the sensations of needles pricking your limps, all of them heavy and uncomfortable.

You were always a weird kid, since childhood to be precise. You see things that are not there, feel things that shouldn't be able to be felt and hear whispers in the dead of night. You know of things that you should not know of, things that no one else has discovered yet.

Groaning you drag yourself up, swinging one leg over the other, ascending to your numb feet, barely catching yourself before you fall down again. It's horrible, each morning you awake to a body exhausted and aged, as if you were never granted rest.

Another day of your boring job, simmering away in an office, an occupation you loathe, with coworkers regarding you with the same disturbed glances and hushed whispers that have haunted you your whole life.

Perhaps you may feel strongly, stronger than any other person in the room, but they can sense it, the air of animosity around you. That cursed energy emitting from you.

Maybe that's why every single man you were interested in, killed himself after the very first date.

The hours in the office rolled around painstakingly slowly, yet somehow the seconds faded into minutes and then into hours. You were used to the lingering judgement around you, that none of your colleagues meant it when they smiled at you waving you goodbye as you finished for the day, yet what you weren't used to was for him.

He, your office crush, to approach you.

“Good work today.” he mentioned casually, dropping praises onto you as if you were a golden hen instead of the mascot for all things depressing. You knew what they whispered behind your back, how unbearably edgy you were.

“Uh, Thanks.” you sputtered overwhelmed by the sudden attention, which wasn't unwelcomed by any means but definitely alarming. Alarming in that sense that you now feared for this man’s life.

“Would you like to join us? We’re going out to eat at the new Italian. Might be fun.” he offered lightheartedly with the same picture perfect smile that you fell for.

Instead of joy, you felt your fear now unfolding infront of your very eyes. You just couldn't allow him to also commit the same mistake as all the others. So you flashed him an anxious smile, acting as if you were oh-so busy, apologizing profusely and thanking him.

Yet he was more stubborn than you initially assumed.

“It's really not that expensive if that's what you're worried about! And the food is great. Besides I think it wouldn't be so bad if you opened up more, would make you certainly more popular among our colleagues!” he exclaimed energetically, overly confident, with such a glimmer in his eyes as if he knew, knew about those gnarly fingers that kept trying to choke you. You shook your head at yourself, you were succumbing to paranoia again, this had to stop besides he was right though, you needed to at least try to make this better for you, and it wasn't a date anyways.

So it was win-win, right?

That's at least what you had hoped for. And yet it turned out yo be a disaster. Their burning gazes never leaving you, so penetrating with unfiltered judgement bordering on almost hatred, you couldn't stand it.

Admittedly as the night progressed and you after you managed to pull yourself together after a mini meltdown in the bathroom did things starten to loosen up, well your colleagues certainly did through the help of alcohol. So you started to be drowned in the mass of boisterous laughter and messy gossiping, making you finally stop sticking out like a sore thumb.

Perfect that's what he wanted.

While everyone was too occupied, it was easy to watch you in silence, face a perfect facade, he knew you, that knew the moment you staggered, blinking slowly.

“Hey—everything okay?” asked one of your colleagues who was intimidated by you, yes, but not heartless enough to not notice the odd way your eyes moved, pupils dilating and shrinking, while you felt fuzzy all over, as if you were the one that chugged two beers instead of her.

Before you could even answer, your colleague who had been so kind to invite you jumped up in concern. Worry lacing his tone as he suddenly laid his palm flat against your forehead, startling you with the sudden intimate gesture.

“Are you sick? I wouldn't have suggested you join us if I knew you were sick.” he muttered seemingly more to himself than you, while all you could do was watch in silence, your voice refusing to work no matter how hard you tried.

From then on it was all a blur, you heard all of the noise at once, everything overwhelming and overly stimulating your senses as a arm was draped over your waist, squeezing your midrift slightly as the restaurant faded into nothingness.

There was something like a breeze softly tickling your nape, no, it was someone breathing down your back—it was him, you made out, the colleague who was guiding you to his car.

“Don't worry.” you felt something wet against your neck, body so numb you were uncertain how you were even able to walk. “I will be gentle.” he breathed into your ear, reminding you of same haunting voices that whispered into your ear every night.

You didn't even understand what was happening, his words failing to properly register into your mind, as he dragged you into his car, placing you in the passenger seat like a ragdoll while you couldn't even keep your head upright.

There was only this silent scream deeply plunged in your chest, some sort of instinctive panic, that tried to wake your body up, but nothing, you could only sit there trying to fight off sleep as the engine started.

“Took some time.” he groaned, starting to laugh. It wasn't a laugh you ever heard from him before. That laugh was unhinged, squeaky and something you would hear from a killer in a horror movie.

“Y’know how hard it was to get my fingers on that drug? Phew! Took ages to be discreet! But it worked! God it worked!” he laughed, his tone starting to sound like nails scratching against those green boards you saw in school.

“Fuck—you’re a real weirdo but so hot, god! No one would miss you anyways—easy. And you're just so dumb too! You didn't even think twice about trusting me—or well you didn't have another choice with how drugged you are right now!” you felt your chest tighten, thoughts muddled yet one was clear, concreted in the forefront of your mind—that you had to find a way to escape.

And that opportunity presented itself to you so swiftly, so brashly and so painfully you regretted wishing for it.

You couldn't even make out what occurred, only the sudden flickering of lights, something indescribably loud ringing in your ears, making you want to claw your eardrums out and before you realized it the car tumbled over and crashed.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in Breathe out—

For a moment there was only this ringing, similar to that of a buzzing of a phone, before you glanced over at what remained of you colleague; a pulp of red, raw flesh.

You gagged, but before you could lose yourself in a sea of despair you felt slender, gnarly, icy cold fingers caress your cheek.

“You're mine, human.”

it was an omnipresent voice, words not uttered but received by you nevertheless.

Cursed with the gift of knowing things others couldn't, you were also cursed with living with the owner of those gnarly fingers that gently wrapped around your throat squeezing so tightly until peace crept inside every nook and cranny of your brain, lulling your eyes back into your skull.

[mysticqueer]

an invitation (thanos x reader) Pt 1/3

A softer take on Thanos.

TW: depression, drugs, reader is going through some shit

Despite what some might think, working at Seoul's most exclusive nightclub wasn't always the best job around.

Sure, the nights were usually exciting—to say the least—and the customers always tipped well. But it also meant seeing the darker sides of the rich and famous clientele that frequented the space. You couldn't count how many idols—so beloved by their fans—turned into complete assholes the second they left the public eye. More than once you'd had to call a taxi for those idols after finding them passed out in their own puke. You'd occasionally thought about how much you could get for just one picture sold to the right tabloid. But you never gave in. This was the place that celebrities came to avoid the never ending spotlight.

Still, the job was good. It paid well, even without the tips. You got the opportunity to serve some of Seoul's greatest, and you had no shortage of crazy memories that would last you long into your old age.

But being a female bartender in any establishment came with its own dangers and annoyances. And the most prominent of those annoyances for you personally came with a name- Thanos.

At first, you weren't quite sure how exactly he'd gained entry. You'd heard of him before, but being a semi-successful rapper didn't get him on the same wealth level as your usual customers. You figured he must have known somebody important to get in. And he frequented your bar as consistently as he painted his nails.

The first time you met him, he'd spotted you from across the room and pushed his way through the crowd to get to you. He'd flirted with you nearly the whole night, never giving in to your disinterested responses. When he'd finally left at the end of the night, he made sure to see you off with such an enthusiastic goodbye that you'd think he'd known you for years.

This had been a near daily pattern for the last three weeks or so. He'd come in to the club and seat himself at your bar. He'd flirt, all crazed grins and dilated pupils, until he was too wasted to tell one person from another, at which point one of his friends would drag him home. And while you always rejected his advances—you did like to humor him sometimes. You couldn't deny that he was attractive: exactly your type, really. And he could be surprisingly charming when he wasn't stoned out of his mind. So he'd flirt, and you'd tease him in return, often even taking him by surprise. You liked seeing his face heat up, his ears tinged red, and his surprised yet gleeful expression.

And when one night he invited you back to his place, you'd actually considered it. You really had. But you knew, just like you knew the sun would rise the next morning, that being in a relationship with him would only hurt you in the end. It wasn't that you thought he was a bad person, really. You'd seen a lot of horrible men in your life—the kind of men you couldn't trust to hold your drink. But Thanos didn't strike you as that type. He could be obnoxious with his flirting, sure, but he never pushed so hard as to make anybody uncomfortable. He'd get into fights sometimes, but he never started any that weren't deserved. Overall, he gave you the impression of somebody trying to act tougher than they were, like a kitten spiking its fur to seem intimidating. He was almost cute, in that way.

No, it wasn't any of that that put you off of him. It was those colorful pills he kept in a cross around his neck. It was the white powder he'd see sprinkled onto his nose, when he was too far gone to even wipe it off. It was how he would drink himself into oblivion, if you didn't cut him off beforehand. You'd seen a lot of addicts in your life, even loved some of them. And there were few things more painful than watching somebody you care about deteriorate into a person they weren't. You'd seen many people like him, both famous and not. And you could count on one hand the different possible paths he was going down. Very few of them ended happily.

So you passed out drinks, and he flirted, and you teased him. You observed him from afar, watching the drugs control him more than himself. And you felt kind of bad. You had this strange urge to help him, somehow. To save him from himself and his self-destructive tendencies. But you also knew you'd only hurt yourself in the process. And Thanos, as immature as he often acted, was an adult capable of ruining his own life, if that's what he wanted.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You'd had a very, very shitty week. The type of week that could steer your life off track. Your future, fucked. Your relationships, fucked. Everything, fucked.

But life was life, and so you went to work. One of the few constants you had left. You poured drink after drink, fighting the urge to down them yourself. The pain, the betrayal, the fear of the future all seemed to swirl together in your stomach into something bitter and resigned. The kind of feeling that makes you do stupid shit, because why the fuck not?

It was something you'd felt many a time before. It's something you recognized in the surrounding faces so often, including Thanos'. It was a downward spiral. Seeking numbness would only lead to worse decisions. Whether or not you realized it, you'd come out the other end changed, usually for the worst.

The thing was, it was too hard to care.

"Senoritaaaaaaaa-" the upbeat voice came barreling around the corner, bringing with it the familiar purple-haired boy wearing his trademark grin. Thanos slides onto the barstool directly in front of you, leaning half his body on the bar. "Miss me, baby?" He says in English—something he does a lot when flirting. He sends an exaggerated wink your way.

You try, but fail to muster your usual playfulness when Thanos comes around. Instead, you sent him a wane smile, looking back down quickly as somehow his bright personality feels too much for you at the moment. "Usual?" you ask, already pulling out a glass.

In your peripheral vision, Thanos nudges his friend that you hadn't even noticed before now. "See? She knows me so well." He says. You don't even have the energy to roll your eyes. When you don't respond and simply slide his drink across the bar, Thanos waits a beat before speaking again. He holds up one finger in a 'wait' gesture, and you internally sigh.

"I think I'm in the mood for something sweeter tonight." He says, eyes still on you.

You can already feel the set up to some shitty pick up line. But instead of playing into it, you ask "So you want a mixer?"

Thanos actually scoffs at the question, seeming almost offended. "Come on, babe, you know I'm not a bitch like that," he says, and you do actually roll your eyes this time. Especially when he leans forward even more, bringing himself only a few inches from your face. "But I was thinking your lips are sweet enough, yeah?" Thanos puckers his lips, tapping them with one finger.

It's not the first time he's tried something of this caliber. Normally, you'd come up with a sarcastic comeback or push him backwards with the palm of your hand. This time you do neither, simply sliding him his drink and walking away.

You don't look towards Thanos as you start to help another customer, but you can almost sense a stunned silence coming from his direction. You're only just finishing up with the other patron when Thanos slides back into your line of vision. Holding a hand up in front of his face and waving it. With some effort, you ignore him again, grabbing some glasses to wash.

You think you can hear Thanos' friend say something to him. And Thanos himself stubbornly pushes himself back into your line of sight. He waves again, only to get the same result. "I must be invisible," Thanos jokes to his friend. "Come onnnn, babe," he drawls in a whining tone.

At last you lose patience. Setting down the glass you're washing with a loud clank, you look up at him. You aren't sure what expression you have on right now, but it seems to take Thanos aback.

"Do you need something? I'm kind of busy," you snap, gesturing towards the other customers at the bar. In truth, you really aren't that busy. And you know it isn't particularly fair to Thanos, switching up your attitude towards him so suddenly. But you're so fucking tired, and you just can't deal with his sunshine-y persona right now.

You expect him to be annoyed. Mad, even. But instead his eyebrows furrow up, forming an expression you haven't seen on him before. "Did I do something wrong?" he asks, voice still exaggerated but a bit lower than it was before.

When you don't answer, he drops his chin to the bar pitifully, gazing up at you with a good imitation of sad puppy eyes. And it really isn't fair that this guy, this piece of shit drug-addicted rapper, makes such effective puppy eyes. But unfortunately, he is actually pretty cute. Maybe it's the eye makeup that makes his eyes pop? No- stop thinking about that. You force yourself to turn away from the despairing boy.

Just as you think you've finally shaken him off, he appears at the end of the bar, full body within your line of sight. He drops to his knees, forming a comically exaggerated 'begging' pose.

"The Great Thanos apologizes for your grievances," he says, bowing his head at you. "whatever they may be. And begs your forgiveness, oh gorgeous one." He blinks up at you, winking once again with a playful smirk on his face. But there's something else in his eyes, something more real. Does he genuinely think he's done something wrong to you? Of course, he's annoyed the hell out of you, consistently. But you've never really minded much before.

At his dramatic display (which is drawing a crowd, you realize with exhaustion) your expression softens minutely, and you give in. "You haven't done anything, Thanos. I'm just having a shitty day, okay?"

Thanos' eyes widen in understanding. He stands up again, and he sits back at the bar. To your relief, the crowd he'd drawn with his theatrics quickly disperses. "Anything the great Thanos can help with?" he asks, still playful to an extent but seeming genuine. You can't help but smile at him.

"Just some personal stuff. Nothing you can help with. Just go have fun, yeah?" you push his drink towards him one more time. Thanos nods slightly in understanding.

"You know where I am, yeah?" he blows you a quick kiss before disappearing into the crowd.

You sigh, getting back to work. But you can't deny that you feel a little lighter now, somehow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Despite finally getting the rapper to leave you be, it isn't the last time you see him that night. He drops by your bar even more often than usual. Sometimes not even getting a drink. Instead, he drops by to tell you dumb jokes, stories that are too insane to be true, and even the occasional failed magic trick. But he doesn't push you to respond like he normally would.

Every now and then, you can't help but quirk a smile at his antics. And whenever you do, he instantly lights up like a little kid at an amusement park. Every time he leaves, he sends you a smile and a salute as if to say, "I'll be back."

By the end of the night, you're exhausted. Not in the physical way, but in the deep-seated way when your soul is just so drained you can't think about anything. You aren't surprised when a familiar boy plops himself down at your bar that's now empty.

It seems it's not only your energy is drained, but his as well. His energy is far calmer than usual and makes you wonder if he's more sober tonight than he normally is. He smiles at you impishly, with just a hint of something else. ... Anxiety? Surely not. Anxiety is the last you'd ever associate with him.

"I have an invitation for you-" he starts, and the word 'no' is on the very tip of your tongue. Your lips nearly form the word when he interrupts you suddenly. "Wait!" he exclaims, holding one hand up as if to make you pause. "Party at my place. Before you say no, I promise you, it will be the" he stops for a second, looking for the words. "Best night of your life," he finally finishes in English.

You notice suddenly the group of drunk stragglers hanging out nearby, waiting for Thanos. Going to his 'party' as well, you assume.

No. No. Absolutely not. The word forms, takes shape, and is about to come out when you glance down at his hand. His palm, which you previously thought to be empty, is actually holding something.

A pill, hardly the size of a dime, and the same purple as his hair. You knew instantly what it was—a new party drug that only started hitting the streets recently. You'd observed countless people take it, watching the unnaturally strong energy and euphoria take over their minds.

It's a bad idea. You glance back up at Thanos, who is being surprisingly patient waiting for your response. You look into his eyes, his pretty, pretty eyes.

The dark mass swirls inside your stomach. You imagine yourself saying 'no'. Going home alone to your apartment. Eating crappy takeout and thinking about how fucked up your life has gotten.

Well, you've made worse decisions before.

You reach for his hand.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ford-pines-lover]

what happened? (drabble)

i wrote this on my phone so if the lowercase is annoying i apologize. lmk and i can change it tomorrow.

stanford pines x reader

tags: angst, age gap

“ford, why aren’t you talking to me anymore?”

you and ford had been close. closer than you and anyone else had ever been. you’ve been inseparable since you got the job at the mystery shack. you started sneaking down to his lab, talking to him, sneaking kisses. there were constant late nights. you guys talked about everything. you had told him how your first kiss had gone. (it was during lunch your freshman year of high school) you had told him how horribly you had lost your virginity. hell, you even told him how you almost failed gym class. he also did bad in gym so it was okay.

there were tears in your eyes as you looked at the man. he was at least 3 times your age, but man did you love him. there was something enticing about him that you couldn’t quite place.

but ford? he couldn’t even look at you. he couldn’t even say what he wanted to say. he was holding himself back. there were words stuck in fords throat that were unable to come out.

“y/n, please. you know this isn’t healthy.” you heard the shakiness in his voice. he wasn’t happy either. clearly.

“what are you talking about? nothing bad is happening?” you step closer to him, yet he sticks his hand out to stop you.

“i’m just a gateway to worse things. you know this isn’t a good relationship.”

“gateway? what the fuck are you trying to say?”

“i’m not a good influence on you.”

“stop being self deprecating. please, stanford. just listen to me.”

he cringed when you said his full name. he wasn’t used to it. especially from you.

“i think you should find a new job, get away from the shack. you deserve better than this.”

tears welled up in your eyes as you watched him open the door to his lab, ushering you out.

“stanford, please-“

“goodbye, y/n. i wish you well.”

[causenessus]

try again

part 0.9. ALL OR NOTHING.

“he doesn’t see her today. but he’s thinking of her anyway. when is he not? today, he sends a song to her, because he doesn’t know what she’s playing in her waiting room.”

content warnings: nightmares, lots of talk about death, the fear of growing up, parental issues, manipulation/guilt-tripping, someone here might just be traumatized, my booty writing

when she was younger, she had a lot of nightmares.

sometimes they were something stupid; something that shouldn’t have scared her but did. sometimes they were things implausible; like walking on a dirt path, and suddenly the ground giving out on her and she was falling from an inescapable height, her mouth open and trying to scream with all her might but no sound was coming up, and then she woke up right before she hit the ground.

sometimes, they were about death.

about people dying.

she was never the one responsible, and they never died in a terrifying way.

they were realistic causes, like old age, or a car crash. none of that scared her.

it was her reaction to the deaths that scared her. 

her brain wasn't necessarily punishing her with these terrors of death, it was punishing her for how terrible and cold-hearted she was.

she would dream of her father dying of a disease at an old age and everyone around her would be crying but her. she'd stand there, eyes dry, just thinking about what she should’ve done. she should’ve said i love you, instead of love you. it didn’t matter that he was a horrible person, she was horrible, for being so selfish. maybe it wouldn't have been an honest truth that came out of her mouth, but at least it was something that would've been nice for him to hear before he died. and that's what she'd been known for; for being selfless. how could she ever put herself above another? she didn't even have a purpose or right to live. she felt that she only existed to burden other people.

she would have nightmares of her mother dying in a terrible car crash, and she was standing there again, face blank, thinking about how she should have stopped ignoring her. she should have pushed through her discomfort and hate for the woman, knowing she was still human and deserved to be treated as much.

the entire dilemma stemmed from the guilt that had found its way into every corner and crevice of her heart and mind thanks to her parents. they were the cause of her guilt and the terrors that stemmed from them, but she didn't know how to stop that. to set boundaries, or not let their emotions affect her even if it was all a plot to get her to do what they wanted.

she was an all-or-nothing kind of person; never able to just be in the middle. she gave the entirety of her heart to one person or showed them no care at all. she could either go against every warning signal in her head and put up with her father and mother in order to not feel so bad about the fact that they were providing for her (despite it being their fucking job) or she could completely cut them off.

her mother actually cut her off first, to be fair.

but then she cut off her father the moment she graduated from high school. 

she found a place to stay in the next city over, her last message to him being a simple goodbye, without any details about where she went and if she’d ever be back (the answer was no).

and yet that hadn’t been a clear enough sign for him to back off. she had never been able to communicate that to him. whether it was because he chose to ignore her attempts to distance herself from him or because he couldn’t understand what she was doing, he never left her alone.

she woke up today with seven missed calls from an unknown number. it was one too many calls to be from anyone she wanted the call to be from. there was a pit of despair growing larger in her stomach, a bubble of fear taking up all the space in her lungs as her finger hovered over the voicemail button.

no one needed her that bad to call her so many times. if her patients need her, they knew to text her, or if they really needed to call them, there was no way they'd call seven times, right? she'd have to check her voicemail, just in case.

she only needed one second before she hit the end call button. 

the hum of an old broken fridge in the background, a kitchen chair he always brooded at, keeping her from ever venturing out of her room, the broken clearing of a man’s throat. it wasn't a patient. it was him.

she wanted to throw up.

she wanted to go back to sleep.

she wanted to give this day another try. to wake up, have a phone clear of any notifications, and to have a good day.

but she couldn’t.

it was all or nothing.

close her eyes and stay in bed or get up and do her job.

she couldn’t let other people define her days like this. she couldn’t let the single, most vague mention of her mother let her ruin the rest of her day, but how could she do that? it was all or nothing.

the sound of the door to her apartment closing brought her back to her senses.

akaashi had just left for the day, and she was the last one left in their place.

everyone else was out living their life, she needed to be out there too. she should be out there. she had a job to do. people to help, no matter if she needed help or not. what day was it even?

she squints at her phone, the screen reading 7:30 a.m. she'd skimmed over the clock initially, and she almost wished she stayed ignorant. she should’ve been at her office by now. if she was lucky she'd still get to her office before her first appointment and if she remembered correctly, her 8 a.m. had needed to reschedule their meeting today for a different time.

the final push that got her out of bed was the thought that she’d see him today. she wanted to see sakusa. she could try her hardest to have a good day if it meant getting to see him.

and it all starts with one foot out of bed.

when sakusa walks through the door, she looks more relieved to see him than he does to see her and he knows something is wrong. but she doesn't bring attention to the fact and he worries he might be overthinking it. maybe she’s just getting more comfortable with him, and is happy to see him. but, at the same time, everything about her posture says otherwise. her shoulders are too stiff and her knee is bouncing too much. normally, it's posed and whose foot hits the floor with anxious repetitiveness.

she was the grounding, calming force he tended to rely on but today it seemed that the roles had switched.

it wasn’t a bad thing, she had never been good at putting herself first, and he was sure that hadn’t changed even now.

“how was your week? i know we talked about a game you were worried about last week. did it go well? everything with your game and your coach?” she asks when he sits down. she gives him a casual smile but averts her eyes when he starts searching her face, trying to tell what's wrong. she’s not sure why he’s looking at her like that, as if he cares, but a small part of her is falling apart under his gaze. it’s the same part of her that’s loved him since the day they met. it’s the part of her that when they meet eyes, she feels a common burn between them.

“are you okay?” he asks, and she blinks, feeling like she's one word from falling apart.

“yeah, i’m fine!” she responds, maybe too cheery to appear normal. her other appointments today went smoothly enough, and she feel distracted from her own problems but also worse at the same time, considering she's spent the day listening to others' issues instead. she resists placing her computer on her lap, knowing she needs to bare his gaze straight on in order to get him off her back.

she can feel the weight of his eyes upon her, but he doesn’t keep pushing. she focuses completely on him, telling herself over and over not to let her guard down. it feels a little wrong of her to use the sensitive information her patients trust her with as a distraction from her own thoughts, but when it comes to sakusa, she think it has less to do with what he’s saying and more with the fact that he’s simply here in this room with her.

she wants to stand up, cross the room, sit on the couch with him, lean gently on his shoulder, not throwing her entire weight onto him, but just being in the slightest bit of contact with him.

would he let her touch him like that? or would he be disgusted? avoidant of her touch? weary of it? he had let her put her hand on his chest last time, but had that just been a special moment? maybe she had worsened since then, maybe he could see right through to her depressive state of mind and found it repulsive.

she had to close her eyes for a second and take a deep breath. she was getting too ahead of herself, allowing her head to demonize the man in front of her and making him seem like something he wasn’t. she hoped he didn’t hate her as much as she thought he did. they were in such a strange place right now, seeming to float between the relations of acquaintances, client and consultant, friends, and maybe something a little more.

“[y/n].”

the sound of her name made her eyes snap open, “yes? i’m so sorry, i promise i’m listening.” she had tried her best to provide some amount of advice and reiteration when she could, but he did most of the talking while she nodded along. she was paying attention but at the same time certainly letting her mind wander ever so often. she felt like a piece-of-shit-failure, sitting there across from him; silent, waiting for him to continue. she had no idea what he had just said before her name, obviously, so she couldn’t even try to pretend like she’d heard anything. she was a failure– it was as simple as that. nothing less, nothing more. a feeling of guilt and shame settled in her gut, making her feel nauseous on top of how heavy her head already felt.

“i didn’t say anything,” he replies and the negative, nauseating feeling inside of her spreads across her entire body, leaving her aching. it physically hurts, how heavy her mind feels. she shouldn’t have come to work today. she should have rescheduled appointments rather than being selfish. maybe she should have never started this career to begin with. “i just said i think it’s almost been an hour.”

she glances at the clock on her wall, and he’s right. their time is up, and for some reason that feels like the end of the world to her. “you’re completely right. i’m sorry, sakusa. i hope you still got something out of today’s session even though I was a little out of it. sorry about that, again– i promise i care and that i was trying to listen as best as i could…” she trails off, feeling like her excuse is meaningless. she should’ve left it at her apology. she couldn’t even say that she was listening as best as she could, only that she tried. and her trying wasn’t good enough. anything less than perfect felt wrong to her; like the worst possible outcome. if she wasn’t always putting her all into her work, how could she hope to help people? as always, she could only ever give people all or nothing. and in her field, she was responsible for making their mental and physical states better, she shouldn’t be so emotional at a time like this it was pathetic and wrong–

they’re standing at her door, and she’s holding it open for him as always. she’d spaced out again, waiting for him to leave so that she could close and lock the door and spend an hour on the floor crying before figuring out how to get home on her own without breaking down in public. but he hadn't left yet. he was stopped in front of her, she realizes. he's staring down at her and now she’s looking back up at him. some of his curls are falling in front of his eyes, and she wants to brush them away.

really, she wants to be in his arms. maybe that would make everything feel better.

but she doesn’t feel like she has the right to hug him anymore. their talk over text a few nights ago feels so far away, like who she was only a few nights ago is a completely different person from who she is now. she doesn’t know who she is, she just feels like a soulless body. she wishes she could go back in time, so many years ago when things weren’t much easier, but at least she still had him. if she could go back in time, she never would have left him. she wishes she could tear her heart out, put up with her father, and never have let him ruin her entire life.

“do you need anything?” he asks softly because he’s not sure how else to word it. what he wants to say, the four simple words “i care about you” get lodged in his throat because, for some reason, it's easier for him to confess almost his entire heart to her behind a screen. so he settles for this question instead, leaving it open, for however she wants to interpret and respond to it.

“no,” she lies. she knows she can ask for help, but she can’t, she can't let herself. “i’m okay, thank you. i’m sure you have other things to do today. don’t let me hold you up.” she’s staring at his jacket now, waiting to watch it start to move, but it doesn't. he doesn’t even move an inch after her answer.

“i don’t have anything else going on today. i want to be there for you.” his voice sounds like everything she could ever wish for. he sounds like the person she spent nights crying to whatever heavenly body resided above, asking them to give her someone, anyone to come into her life and love her.

“you’re my last patient for the day,” she finds herself saying. she never was able to resist him much, “i have to close up, but if you want to go somewhere afterwards, you can wait for me, but only if you want to.”

“i’ll wait,” he agrees. “i’ll wait for you. i want to.”

prev. | m.list | next

extras <3

hi! :3

this chapter was started all the way back in September wow!!!

the tea gossipers have each other's locations

so you best believe they're about to check y/n's location and see she's going out somewhere after work

and together, the three men will piece together what's going on

that's for next chapter

or the chapter after that

next chapter soon!!!

two chapters left <3

taglist: @eggyrocks @wyrcan @guitarstringed-scars @strawberryuri @violetesensou @kakeru-eem @glmge @heytheredemonsss @mollyrolls @bemebiu @daszy @snail-squasher @0moonii @thiisisntlovely @todorokiskitten @rory-cakes @iiwaijime @iatethemochi @yuminako @savemebrazilhinata @kismyscars @bokutoko @nobodybutnnoorr @wolffmaiden @daisy-room @softpia @lees-chaotic-brain @v3nusplanetofluv @crispchocolates @phoenix-eclipses @hhoneyhan @encrypta @rockleeisbaeeee @cr4yolaas @zombriesworld @localgaytrainwreck @moucheslove @hibernatinghamster @notverymarley @certaindreampost  @akaakeis @ciderscape @lucien-luna @strawbrinkofdeath @wave2mia @samuel1004 @01trickster10 @dazqa @cosmiicdust @chemiru (form to be added to taglist! <3)

[fancyfeathers]

Content Warning: Gore, Yandere Content, Body Modification, Forced Pregnancy, Past Mentions of R*pe/Noncon

Part two to this post

Tag list: @lucifersarmpitlovrr

After Vincent is engaged to his darling after she is with his child he visits her home every day, acting as if nothing had happened in the garden that day…

He brings her flowers, chocolates, jewelry, dresses, anything a young lady her age could desire but all she desires is to be away from him. Everything, every little thing is tying her down further, the wedding plans, the dress, the cake, the guest list, most of it she does not even have say.

She tried to run the night before the wedding but she is caught by Vincent himself when is on his way to her home with a gift for her mother, he just smiles but his anger is apparent by the way his fingers are painfully interlocked with her own, squeezing the bone and flesh between his fingers. He kisses her goodbye and tells her not to let him see her before tomorrow again since it is bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony and his words feel more of a threat than a sweet remark.

They are married not to long after her pregnancy and the wedding is beautiful to hide from the disgusting truth behind it all. There is one thing wrong, there is no ring exchange, conveniently cut out of the ceremony but no one notices but if they did they never said anything.

There is laughter and smiles from the crowd and Vincent carries her out of the chapel but as soon as they step into the carriage there is an unsettling aura despite Vincent’s smile. She watches as Vincent pulls out a small medical kit from beneath the carriage seat and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls of a ring box. There is a ring in there but there is something horribly wrong with it, there is a nail going down the center of it.

His darling is panicking and screaming as he manhandles her into place, slipping the band itself on her finger and then lining up the nail and pushing down hard, the screams are horrible. Vincent hushes her and coos at her as he disinfects the wound and wraps up the bleeding finger with the ring still on it.

Now every time Vincent holds her hand she winced in pain, feeling the nail that literally binds her to him inside of her.

To death do us part, is what they say, well death cannot come soon enough

(A visual link, just the ring, no flesh of finger or anything)

[luvrxbunny]

filth

pairing: dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: Joel has been distant since that night. You can't stay away from him any longer.

warnings: 18+ MDNI, mention of smoking (weed), drinking, a teeny bit of somnophilia, mutual masturbation

wc: 3.7k

a/n: this is part 2 to my fic sleep! and if u like it id suggest thanking @joeloverture for being like 80% of my motivation (not proofread)

“Alright, I’m heading out!” You shout from the front door before grabbing your bag and slamming the door shut. He doesn’t even get a chance to say goodbye, that’s how horrible it’s been between the two of you. 

It’s been around a week since that night. It’s been the only thing on Joel’s mind since. The main emotion that accompanies it? 

Guilt.

Not in the way he thought it would though. He expected to feel dirty for your age, or how he knows you, but instead he feels bad for the morning after. The morning when he awoke before the sun and snuck back to his proper place on the couch. The morning you approached him to talk, he let you know that he had some work to do and locked himself away in his office for the remainder of the day. 

It had nothing to do with you… He just felt so ashamed of himself, for indulging his fantasies the way he had. The way, without you having to do any work, he was able to fall apart in your hold. It was embarrassing and shameful. You’ve never experienced anything like that before, so of course you wanted more, it never had anything to do with the fact it was him. It was just the way he was making you feel, and Joel would be fine with that; pleasing you, letting you use him for your pleasure, to finally dip your toe into the world of sex and let him be your diving board when needed. He’d have no problem with that… normally. 

But he feels for you, and he knows you don't feel the same way so it still feels like he’s taking advantage of you. 

He kept his distance and in turn, you began keeping yours. You stopped eating breakfast with him but continued to make him something and leave a cute note along with it, but even those notes lost a bit of their sweetness. 

You began going out more, staying in your room more, being on call more. He started to suddenly be very busy with his work, and constantly out getting supplies. He feels horrible that he’s trapped you here with him, nowhere to go, nothing else to do but avoid him. 

He hears your friends laugh in his driveway and the horn honks a few times as you get in. He hears the door shut, and you all speed off. Joel heads to the fridge and pops open his second beer of the night. This is all he does with his free time nowadays, drink, and wallow in his decision. 

Unfortunately, the drunker he gets, the more his guilt begins to fade away, and the more he’s able to focus on the other main emotion that comes with thinking of that night. 

Arousal. 

The way heat floods his veins when he recalls the way you clung to him, the way you moaned for him, and the faces you graced his eyes with, is something that he’s never felt in his fifty years of living. It makes him feel like a creep, when he thinks about how beautiful you sounded, moaning for him, how desperately your hips ground into him, how small they looked once he got his hands on you. 

He takes a glance at the clock beside him on the kitchen counter reading 11:36pm and realizes he’s been thinking about you for a little over half an hour. He grabs his third beer and heads to his bedroom, getting deja vu from that night. 

He’s disappointed to find the sheets changed and the bed lacking one pretty girl. He places his beers on the nightstand and lets himself collapse into the bed. He’s tipsier than usual, he hasn’t been eating well this past week and there's nothing to absorb the alcohol. He’s drowning in your scent, burying his face in your pillows and ignoring the way his jeans are already tightening. 

He’s not worried about getting caught, he knows that you’re not coming home tonight. You’re staying at a friend’s house tonight, Taylor- or maybe it was Tatiana? He doesn’t know, or care. He zoned out once you said you weren’t coming home. The familiar guilt traveling back into his mind in an instant, thinking of how disgusting he was. 

And now here he is; painfully hard in his pants just from inhaling your scent. He shakes his head into the pillows but all it does is further submerge his head in your scent. A whimper climbs out of his throat as his hips decide that movement is a must. He’s grinding against your sheets in no time. Imagining it’s you under him as he loses himself in the pleasure, surrounded by you as he falls into darkness. 

You stumble into the house around 2am, high off your ass, and in desperate need of a nap. You’re frustrated as you open the door, upset that you’re home but your friend decided to get caught up with some boy and left you as a third wheel. You never signed up for that and you had an old man waiting at home so you decided to just leave. She didn’t protest and her attention was back on the boy in an instant, your presence would not be missed. 

You wanted to give Joel some time away from you after seeing his obvious discomfort since that night. 

You assumed he’d be hesitant but his disdain was more than you’d anticipated. The way he suddenly buried himself in his work. You decided to pull away and give him some space to process. But that only led to more avoidance on his part so you decided to remove yourself entirely, give him the peace of being alone again but here you are, interrupting his night off from you.

You feel like you could cry as you stumble into your room. Your eyes are itchy and sensitive to the dry air so you’re squinted as you change into one of Joel’s shirts and change your underwear. You’re not bothered enough to put on a cute pair and climb into bed. Once you're under the covers you realize the body in your bed. 

You almost jump off, flinching so hard you have to grip the mattress to not fall over the edge. 

You climb back to your spot and can feel the warmth radiating off of him. The same warmth you felt that night. You feel that familiar throbbing start back up between your legs as you think of that night. The way he groaned into the air, how his stomach would tense in time with your hips, how thick and heavy he felt in your hand, and how he was throbbing as he painted the inside of his boxers for you. 

It was hotter than anything you could’ve imagined. It’s been the only thing on your mind, clouding all your thoughts and judgment. Enough so that you’ve barely noticed the way your hand has slid down to play with your clit. 

It’s not like you’re doing this on purpose; acting this way around him. It’s like an involuntary reaction, you can’t help the way his presence makes you ache to be touched and how his touch has you soaked in seconds. 

It’s been too long, he hasn’t been around you in so long, and all your previous “tolerance” has gone out the window. Especially with how he made you feel the last time. You haven’t been able to replicate the feeling and you’re growing more frustrated by the day. 

Joel groans and fear shoots through you, your heart starts pounding but your movements over your clit don’t stop. Something about this reminds you of that night, gives you that same thrill as that night, the same rush through your body. 

You watch him shift and turn to you, his hair a mess and in his face with his lips parted in a pout. He looks nothing short of angelic, and beautiful so you really can’t help the whine that bubbles out of your throat. You scoot closer, examining his face and breathing in his scent. It’s like an aphrodisiac, the way it clouds your head and turns your blood into fire. You’re burning for him, desperate for him to make you feel the way you felt that night.

You can feel the pit in your stomach building, pushing you to the edge as you watch his face, the way it twitches in response to his dream, the way his eyes are slowly opening. 

Shit.

Joel wakes up with a sharp inhale, almost startled out of his dream. The first thing he sees when he opens his eyes is you. You’re hazy-eyed as you stare at him but there's a certain underlying excitement that has his blood pumping. He assumes it’s a dream. You’re not supposed to be home, and there’s not a chance he’d find you in his bed, admiring him as he sleeps. 

He examines you, letting his eyes rake down your face and then down your body. He notices your arm, how it slips beneath the blanket, and the movement he can see under it. His jeans are tightening again. 

He doesn’t want to jump to any conclusions. You’re not like him. Maybe you’re not doing what he thinks you are, but then again. This is his dream. Once his eyes trail back up to yours, seeking confirmation, anything that can help him decipher what's happening.. Your eyes roll back, burying themselves in your skull as your body begins to shake in front of him.

His name rolls off your tongue in a new pitch, with a new tilt and meaning. It’s filled with need, longing, and something Joel could never imagine… gratitude. This is real.

-------------------------

The realization hits him like a shockwave, shaking him to his core but he freezes. What can he do in this situation? He can’t touch you, no, he’s already gone much too far into that territory… You look so beautiful though, your hand moving desperately between your legs, your pace only growing the longer he stares at you. 

You moan into his face. You look frazzled, your eyes are hazy and desperate, and it’s like they’re drawing him, enticing him to play with you. But he can’t. 

In his immobility, you begin to grow impatient. You whine for him as you feel your pleasure become stagnant, not rising or falling, just there. He doesn’t react at all, it’s like he’s in a trance, in shock or something. 

You hike your leg over him, letting your thigh rest over his hip, and scoot yourself closer. The new position gives a new angle to your pleasure and sends a shock to your core, forcing a moan from your mouth and against his mouth. He takes a short breath and finally reacts, giving you a low, gruff, “Really?” that shoots through your body. His deep voice and accent will get you every time. 

You nod and bury your face in his neck, huffing his scent like it's your drug, trying to take in any detail of him, all of them helping you closer to your peak. You just need him. “Sweetheart.” 

You moan into him again. He says the petname like a warning that you have no intentions to heed. Instead, you serve him with a bit of his medicine, gathering all the coherency you have to utter a small, whiny, “Joey” into his neck. You hear him take a sharp breath through his nose before feeling his jaw tense against your temple. He breathes out a loose word, too breathy to make out, like he wanted to say something but lost it at the last moment. 

You can feel his head tip back for a moment before coming down to bury his nose in your hair, inhaling your scent before whispering into you. “Stop.”

You whine louder than before and shake your head violently against him, forcing him to pull away from your hair. “Can’t. I can’t stop.” You pull out of his neck to look at him, already able to see the little glint in his eye that you’ve missed, the one that lets you know that behind all his resistance, there’s still a burning fire of want. “I need you so bad. I can’t— not without you, Joey” Your voice breaks down into a whine at the end, aroused at how pathetic you sound trying to explain yourself to him. 

The way your body yearns for his is beyond you, it’s something ethereal. He all but growls in response, a deep hum at your words. “You can’t?” He sounds strained, and tense as he questions you, and you happily voice your troubles. “I can’t cum without you anymore, Joey.” He groans shakily into your hair and it sends a shiver down your spine, your fingers begging to speed up over your clit but you’re barely getting any stimulation anymore, your hand is getting tired, and you’ve been at it for so long you feel you may just lose your mind. “Dunno what’s wrong with me.” You whine into his shoulder, burying yourself further in him as your hand gives up and you revert to the only thing you know feels good. 

His body. 

Your arm wraps around his neck instead, a familiar position as you grind against him, happy to find him rock hard from the whole ordeal. He moans above you, short and curt before grabbing your hips roughly, gripping strongly enough to stop your movements and pull yourself from his neck to look at him. His eyes are a bit wild, and his brows are furrowed. “No.” His eyes dart from your face to your chest, and hips, then back to your eyes. “You’re— You can- You’re fine. You don’t need me.” He keeps intense eye contact as he speaks and he’s nodding his head to you, like he’s trying to convince you to agree with him. All the while you’re desperately shaking your head.

Your hands come to grip the front of his shirt, holding him in place so he can’t pull any farther away. “No. I can’t. You- You don’t think I would if I could?” You loosen your grip as a bit of embarrassment sets in. “If I could avoid looking like this- this desperate, needy, fucking— If I could avoid giving you this image of myself.. You don’t think I would? I can’t.”

Joel is stunned to silence. You do this to him every time. Every time he’s shocked by your need for him, by the effect your words have on him, and how quickly he can dispel every worry, and all his morals for you.

His eyes flicker between your legs for a moment. “Touch y’self for me.” A soft gasp flows out of your mouth at that and your hand shoots to your clit. Your body is suddenly on fire, sensitive to your every touch, to the way his clothes feel against your skin, and how your fingers move over your clit. 

Your eyes flutter beautifully as you immediately follow his command. It raises goosebumps to his skin and makes his cock cry; how naturally obedient you are. “Good.” You moan and dive for his chest again, always trying to hide that pretty face from him. He places his hand on your shoulder and gently pushes back, leaning down slightly so he can force your eyes to his. “Let me see you, princess.” Your brows furrow and your mouth parts in shock, letting little whimpers grace his ears and your head falls back against the pillow. You look like a goddess as your eyes roll back into your head. He’s just admiring you, watching the way your hands move over your panties, abusing your clit with the material, all for him. 

His cock spews an embarrassing long stream into his boxers as it pulses erratically. He undoes his pants as quickly as he can and his hand shoves itself into his pants, instantly wrapping around his shaft before squeezing around his tip. He has to bite down on his lip to keep a groan from exiting his mouth. 

He doesn’t want to alert you to what he’s doing yet. He likes the fact that what you’re doing isn’t a show for him, it’s not something you’re orchestrating to turn him on, to get him to cum.. It’s just how you are, how you feel. Yet it’s turning him on and he can already feel his cock pulsing in his hand. The way you affect him sends a rush of pleasure through his body that raises the hairs on his neck. He shivers with a gentle moan as his eyes close and his cock leaks over his fist. 

Your eyes open and instantly dart to watch the way he’s working himself in his pants before shooting up to his face. You watch his brows furrow and his closed eyes flutter as he touches himself. The fact that he must be thinking about you in the process shocks through you and you moan out embarrassingly. It’s like all your functions go haywire once you’ve got Joel on your mind. You can’t control yourself anymore, you go back to your most basic, primal state where he’s the one who can subdue you. 

His eyes open back up at your sounds, happily finding you staring at him again. You have nothing but admiration in your eyes and he can’t believe the way you’re looking at him. It’s the same way he looks at you. 

Joel fully turns onto his side to make you the only thing in his line of sight and you instantly lean closer to him, an action he immediately mirrors. You bury yourself in his neck again, taking the time to your face along his stubble in the process and moaning to him at the feeling. “Need you so much, Joey.” He outright moans into your ear at your words. You sound so far gone, so loose for him. It’s something he’s never seen from you before. His free hand comes around to press against the small of your back, arching you into him so you both can be as close as possible. “Yeah? You- shit. Ya’ really need me, darlin’?”

His voice shakes as he speaks and you whine at the way his breath ghosts over your ear. 

You can’t answer him for a moment, too caught up in the heat of the moment, how erotic it is. You’re trying to imagine the scene from a birdseye view and it’s getting you closer to the edge than anything you’ve tried all week. Especially if you add the idea that you and Joel are together. You imagine that you’re not just in love with a man who views you as nothing but a debauched teen. You imagine that the two of you are in a healthy, loving relationship. That you’re performing an act of intimacy rather than purely sexual. You breathe out a whine into Joel’s ear at the thought.

He doesn’t appreciate your lack of response, however. He’s right on the edge and he was hoping your words would push him over but now it just feels like you’re edging him with your silence. “Talk. T-tell me, baby. Talk to me ‘bout it. Please darlin’.” He sounds needier than you could’ve ever imagined. You still have the idea of being his in your mind, so that paired with the way he seems to be needing you right now shoves you to the cusp of your orgasm. 

You can feel a coil tingling and tightening in your lower stomach as your hands begin to work overtime. You haven’t even really registered what Joel said, only being able to focus on the way he said it. You pull your head out of his neck while your free hand reaches around to cup the back of his neck. 

His face immediately moves to follow you, desperately craving your eye contact. Your hazy eyes meet him, seeing all his eagerness, and all the words you’d gathered seem to scatter from your mind. All you can focus on is the wet pout of his lips, and suddenly they’re calling you. You’re pulling him closer and connecting them with yours without even thinking. 

His lips meet yours and Joel spends 0.1 seconds in shock before his cock is exploding inside his boxers. A thought of guilt flits through his mind quickly, feeling bad that he’s not coherent enough to kiss you properly while cumming for you but then he hears the little moans that are emanating from your throat. He notices the way your lips lose any rhythm they’d previously had as you melt against him, your mouth parting against his as your moans begin to climb out of your mouth and into his. The act sends a new wave through him as his thigh tenses and his cock spurts longer, thicker ropes into his hand.

His eyes shut tightly as he takes in your sounds, the loose whine of his name, the stuttering groans as you begin to overstimulate yourself. Your nails are digging into the back of his neck, definitely leaving a mark that he’ll run his fingers over for the next week, relishing in the sting it’ll bring. 

You whine and bury your face in his neck again before pulling your hand from your pants and running it along his arm. His hand has stopped moving over his cock but is frozen in place as you run your finger down his arm. He can feel the dampness on your fingertips and he’s trying his hardest not to work himself up all over again. 

You follow the path of his arm down to his wrist and your hand slides right into his boxers. A gust of air leaves his mouth as you wrap your hand around his, threading your fingers and pulling his hand out. He’d expect you to be deterred by the mess, by how much he’s soaked his palm but you happily intertwine your hand with his before tucking it into your chest. 

He stock still and perfectly silent, not wanting to do anything to jeopardize the precious moment you’re letting him etch into his memory and soon he hears little hums coming from your throat. He presses himself a little closer to you and realizes they’re snores, you’ve fallen asleep like this.

Normally, Joel wouldn’t let this happen. He’d get up and make it a point to clean himself off, hating how dirty his cum on his skin made him feel. But for you? He’ll sit in his filth.

thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist or send me some motivation here!!

[tokischaaaaa]

a story reader being friends with hamzah before and during 4freakshow? but like reader is like in love with hamzah, but doesn’t want to make it obvious

dumbass 🐀

!hamzah x !latina reader

notes!!: we making y/n and hamzah reallly blind to really obvious shit 🙂‍↕️

warnings: cursing, fluff ig

word count: 3.4k!!!! *longest yet**

y/n and hamzah were newly graduated high school students. they both shared the interest of not going to college, and that’s what led them to meet at a party hosted by a mutual friend.

as for plans after high school, y/n had moved out of her parents place and was living in a hotel room until she could find a place within her budget.

hamzah on the other hand, he was living with his friend, aaron. aaron was working as a streamer, it somewhat paid the bills but for the most part did. hamzah helped by working at a corner market he had been working at since junior year.

however he had admirations for something bigger, something more fun; rather than working at a corner market that had middle aged men come in all the time.

hamzah already had somewhat of a following on tiktok due to his short yet humorous videos. he assumed that the following could be useful in the future if he wanted a job that would allow him to be creative and his funny self.

both of the young adults, who were now free from their guardians, were looking for everything all at once. they both expected to have a great time at the party, but that wasn’t the case.

y/n was found on the back porch sipping her party punch, she couldn’t help but gag every time the red liquid hit her lips.

“it’s like tasting the koolaid man’s werid uncle.” a voice said behind y/n.

she turned around and saw a young man with dark curly hair, a black long sleeve shirt. aswel as baggy jeans and some white airforces.

“yeah more like the creation process of the koolaid man.” y/n smirked.

right there, they kept making jokes about the koolaid man and the horrible punch that tasted like battery acid. they had clicked instantly, expressed their current position in the journey of adulthood.

as hamzah spoke about his admiration for finding a job for creativity and being himself, y/n couldn’t help but become distracted, she couldn’t deny the fact that she was attracted to hamzah.

his courage to come up to her and make such a bad yet perfect joke to spark the conversation between the two was magnificent. and also the fact that he wasn’t looking for a quick fuck or make out session made y/n feel like she struck gold. but she couldn’t deny the fact that she kind of wished he could ask her out or anything!

“what about streaming? you can be yourself then, and you said that you also do the tiktok thing.” y/n proposed playing with her necklace.

hamzah was quiet for a moment then embraced y/n in a tight hug.

“holy shit! your a genius, uhh-“

“y/n,” she smiled

“hamzah.” he smiled back and hugged her again.

the rest of the night was filled with laughter and teasing between the two, hamzah felt as if he found the female version of him, she completed him, and his sentences, she was able to provide him with the little bits of knowledge he lacked when making decisions.

he couldn’t deny that he felt a deeper connection to her, but his charisma bar ran out, he couldn’t ask her out, then she’d think he’d want something from her.

thankfully y/n had sipped enough of the horrible party punch that she was able to have the courage to ask for his number as the party came to an end.

“where you staying at hamzah?” y/n asked as she plugged her number into his phone.

“around oakwood, so like 30 minutes from here. what about you?” he asked

“oh shit! same, kinda. i’m staying at a hotel on riverside right now so i’m like 15 away.”

“wow, how’s that going?”

“it’s a.. expirence!” she laughed.

once the two said goodbye and hopped in their ubers, hamzah was more than excited to text y/n. he was hoping that she sent her real not a fake one, since he had talked her ear off he wouldn’t be surprised if she faked it.

his finger hovered over the send button, he didn’t want to seem desperate, but he kind of was since he had such a great conversation with y/n.

aaron couldn’t help but smirk at hamzahs nervousness over a text. he elbowed hamzah which led to his thumb to touch the send button.

“dude what the fuck?” hamzah groaned.

“i’m just helping you out buddy.” aaron smiled.

y/n had just arrived back at her hotel, she jumped on her bed and fell asleep moments later. too exhausted to check her phone, she could blame the alcohol for her drowsiness but she could blame hamzah too for talking so much. but she couldny blame him, he meant good, the alcohol on the other hand didn’t and would lead to a pounding headache the next day.

the next day, around the afternoon, sleeping beauty y/n finally awoke. she jumped to check her phone as the memories of last night came back into her head, she checked messages and saw the message she was waiting to see

she laughed when she saw his texts that followed, she quickly typed a response to his worrisome texts.

once the two met up, the energy had been restored. y/n and hamzah kept teasing each other , cracking jokes, and making funny noises.

the errand run was a complete success between the two, hamzah was able to pick up everything he needed and y/n was able to pick up on hamzahs likes and dislikes. she was sure to use that information in the future.

as their first official hangout was coming to an end, y/n let hamzah know her schedule as well did hamzah, she showed him her hotel (from the outside), since hamzahs hands were full with groceries. they were going to make sure to see each other again, somehow someway.

y/n became a nervous wreck when she got back to her apartment, she couldn’t deny now that her crush for hamzah got bigger after this hangout. but she decided to push it to the side, not wanting to screw up the connection they already shared.

over the next few weeks, hamzah and y/n would meet up every few days. y/n met hamzahs roommate, and hamzah saw y/n’s hotel. they would talk, a lot. order food and talk for hours or watch tv together. hamzah and y/n couldn’t deny that there was something there but neither of them would say anything about the subject.

as for hamzah’s newly created twitch account, the followers were increasing by each stream. hamzah let y/n know about the success of his streams, but she couldn’t help but realize how long his streams had been getting, they weren’t hanging out as much.

y/n started to get jealous and it was getting harder for her to hide it, she missed hamzah, she missed his presence. however, hamzah being so infatuated with this new freedom he craved he wouldn’t respond to y/n’s texts.

her texts of asking how hamzah was, if he was okay, how stream is going, asking when they could hangout again, would all become ignored by hamzah. hamzah had been meeting new friends through streaming and eventually did group streams with his newly established group, freakshow. hamzah had forgotten about the person that made him enjoy freedom, y/n.

y/n felt absolutely shitty, she felt played, and portrayed as if she was desperate. she thoght she found someone who matched her, she was right in the beginning, but she was so far off. she wouldn’t ghost someone like this and leave them in the dust like this, even if she was busy. she was absolutely disappointed and disgusted in hamzah.

one day while hamzah was streaming he got a call from y/n, it took him by surprise. he quickly realized how long it had been since they had talked. he quickly muted stream and answered the call.

“y/n? hi, how’ve you been?”

“shit, well sleepy.” y/n’s words are slightly slurred.

“y/n are you drunk?” hamzah asked with concern.

“why does it matter to you, your a dick .” y/n snaps.

“what do you mean? are you ok?”

“your blind hamzah, blind, blind, blind! just like stevie wonder!” she yelled into the phone, a hurl could be heard from her, she quickly ended the call.

this left hamzah completely distraught, does he go to her house and see what happened? or does he continue stream?

he decided to put his job aside and check on y/n, he unmuted stream and let his viewers know that he had to leave for his own reasons.

he quickly ended stream and grabbed his keys and drove to y/n’s apartment.

as hamzah was driving towards y/n’s hotel he couldn’t help but realize how he had missed time with her, how he hadnt seen her in a while. he wondered what happened, then it hit him. it was him, he was the reason for the fun that stopped.

it felt like a slap when the guilt hit him. he realized why y/n had called him a dick but not the blind part. as least he knows why he called her one thing, the other thing is for another day, he thought.

as he got to her hotel, the front desk asked who he was to y/n, “frie— boyfriend!” he blurted out, taking himself by surprise.

the front desk woman nodded and let him upstairs. the time hamzahs was waiting to get to her room in the elevator, nerves hit him. he was worried about what he was going to walk into, but he had no choice but to put that aside, just as y/n had as they hung out.

hamzah banged on the door several times, until y/n opened it weakly with one arm and the rest of her body on the floor.

“y/n! shit! what happened!” hamzah said trying to lift y/n up.

“life. and failed expectations.” y/n hummed.

hamzah grunted as he carried y/n bridal style to her bedroom, y/n could’ve melted right there. oh how she wished she was sober to experience this and really remember it.

hamzah laid her on her bed, “shit, what do i get you?” he said under his breath. y/n was now looking up at her ceiling, absolutely fucked up.

hamzah was about to leave her bedroom to grab her some water before y/n asked,

“hamzah do you hate me?”

“no! why would you ask that?”

“you left me, no call no answer.” she mumbled.

“what did you say y/n?” hamzah asked getting closer to the bed.

y/n was silent for a few moments before hurling her brains out, thankfully in a bucket that just so happened to be next to her bed.

“ah shit! y/n here let me help you.” hamzah said trying to pull her hair back.

y/n instantly rejected him, “get out hamzah.” she cried.

“what? what did i do?” hamzah asked taken aback.

“you, your the problem, your the do, get the fuck out!” she screamed.

hamzah knew it was better than to argue with her, especially if she was drunk. he felt helpless, he walked outside her room. his heart sunk as he left the hotel.

as hamzah got into his car and started driving, the memory of y/n calling him blind kept repeating in his head.

hamzah decided to give y/n space, this time with his awareness. he didn’t know what had gotten into her, what caused her to kick him out so aburptly.

as the days got longer for hamzah since lack of sleep, due to the repeating question, “what am i blind to?”

y/n had stopped completely texting hamzah altogether, she decided to stop contacting him and having him in her head. she focused on work, she took more hours so she could be distracted from the time lost from being ‘played’ by hamzah. she was able to rent her first apartment, she was extremely proud of herself, but there was a part of herself that wanted to celebrate this big moment with hamzah.

with work, and now moving she easily became overwhelmed and she developed a cold due to overworking her body. a friend from work had stopped by and told her to not get back to work until she was fully recovered.

though y/n was stubborn she gave in and took time for herself and for her body to fully recover. however it was hard since she still had to keep making trips to the hotel she stayed at previously to move them into her new apartment.

work wise for hamzah.. there’s been a recent spike in viewers for freakshow. so he’s been enjoying making content and building friendships with chase, haley, and claire. some of the clips from their livestreams have gone viral which was great for hamzah but not so good for y/n.

as she was on bedrest, she opened instagram swiped through people’s stories but her throat started to close as she saw hamzahs.

it was a repost of someone’s story, the repost was a video of a girl yelling “i’m in love with hamzah!” and then the video transitioned into a poorly edited video of that girl and hamzah with the words ‘hamley’ across the screen. hamzah placed 🥺🥺🥺 emojis ontop of the repost.

that broke y/n. this whole time she was trying to suppress her feeling of missing hamzah but now she couldn’t suppress it anymore, this feeling now combined with anger made y/n start sobbing uncontrollably. she didn’t even think about questioning the poorly made edit, she didn’t want to ask questions, because all her questionea were answered. hamzah played her.

meanwhile 👀,

hamzah just ended another successful freakshow stream but was still on call with the other 3 members to chit chat.

however the others were talking about something that didn’t interest hamzah so he went on his phone and checked on his story. he decided to dabble on the viewers, it always excited him as the numbers rose, and the witty responses from his followers.

however he felt his throat dry up as he saw y/n’s account. hamzah’s caught off guard and remains silent for a while until chase asks,

“hamzah what’s on your mind?”

hamzah looks up at the camera , “na i was checking my story viewers and i saw this girl that i used to be really close with.”

“so what happpened?” claire asked.

“we used to hang out almost any day we were both free, talk and shit then i got busy with streaming. but like a few weeks ago she drunk called me and then she got sick and i tried to help her but she yelled at me to get out. very confusing.” hamzah shrugged.

“holdup hamzah, was it my story you reposted?” haley asked biting the inside of her cheek.

“yes, why.” hamzah says dumbfounded.

claire, haley, and chase share the same irritated expression towards hamzah.

“why what happened?” hamzah asks

“where you close , ‘close’ with her?” chase asks

“yea we used to hang out every week.”

“you fucked up, big time.” claire blurts out.

“hamzah, did she ever… text you like how was your day, check in on you? possibly tell you deep stuff? compliment you?”

“yeah, where’s this leading to?” hamzah asks

“hamzah she likes you, or did like you.” chase says.

“what do you mean? how?” hamzah cried, not being able to believe what he’s hearing.

“ she trusted yourself !! that’s how!” the 3 scream at hamzah.

“really? i didn’t know if she liked me? i thought she was just being nice.”

“no!” the 3 yell again

“ok jeesh. what do i do now?”

“do you like her?”

“yeah, like since we met at the party our energy clicked. we got along really well but like i didn’t know if she wanted to be more than friends.”

“hamzah your a fucking dumbass.” claire yells at hamzah.

it takes a few moments before everything registers in hamzahs brain completely.

then, he realizes what he has to do.

he quickly says bye to everyone on call and grabs his keys and wallet and runs to his car.

as hamzahs driving to y/n’s hotel it starts to pour hard. as he try’s to run inside to her hotel but his head becomes drenched in the rain.

he runs to the front desk and asks the woman there for y/n.

“sorry sir, she doesn’t live here anymore.”

hamzahs heart sinks.

“however she does stop by frequently to move her items here to her new apartment. here i’ll give you this spare key to see if she’s here.” she smiles.

hamzah is absolutely greatful to the elder woman, “just come back in 45 minutes so my boss isn’t suspicious.” she smiles as she hands him the spare key.

as he’s inside the elevator his heart is racing, he doesn’t know what to expect, he’s hopeful that she’s there but doubtful, he doesn’t want to be late as he was all the other times he was to her subtle hints.

he heads upstairs, to see if her room is open so he can maybe catch her to say something.

as he gets upstairs he can’t see her, he sighs in defeat and as he’s about to leave.

“hamzah. what the fuck are you doing here?”

“y/n i need to explain everything, i’m so sorry, i was so fucking blind, and such a pussy.” he starts.

“continue.” y/n says crossing her arms.

“fuck, y/n i like you, i liked you since i saw you at that party. i saw you weren’t liking it there and neither was i, i wanted to be around you, make you feel better. after time you made me feel great and reestablished a feeling that i haven’t felt since i got out of my house, freedom. but so much of that shit fucked up what was between us.”

“y/n i now understand why you called me blind, i was blind to that fact that your kindness was out of a deep connection we had, a feeling we both shared.”

y/n stayed silent for a few moments before saying, “what about your girlfriend? hamely?” she said rolling her eyes.

hamzah couldn’t help but burst out laughing, “y/n that’s a fake ship name, the group i work with, we made that up so it would add more viewers. it’s all fake, trust. also, she lives in california and has a boyfriend.”

y/n’s stern face dropped. she approached hamzah a year started to roll off of her cheeks.

“hamzah, im sorry.” she said.

“i should be the one apologizing y/n, i should’ve had your feelings into consideration. that’s all on me, let me make it up to you. let me take you out. please.”

y/n stares at him, “you gonna ghost me after?”

hamzah gets closer to y/n, he takes her hands into his, “never.” he says and puts his hand onto her jawline and kisses her deeply.

“again.” she says as she breaks the kiss.

hamzah smiles, his wet curls blocking his eyes but he doesn’t care, he can see clear now, clear that y/n was really his other half, his person.

hamzah holds his arms out and gets closer to y/n, his wet shirt clinging to his body. his smile widens as he gazes into her eyes, feeling the warmth between them despite the cool dampness of his clothes. without saying a word, he wraps his arms around her, pulling her into a tender embrace.

the scent of rain lingers in the air as their bodies press together, and he whispers softly, "i’ve never been more certain of anything. you’re everything i’ve been looking for, y/n".

“sorry for being such a dumbass.”

“it’s okay, you’re my dumbass, i can handle it.” she smiles.

[mxnaluv]

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ BUILD-A-FIC ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

NEW EVENT!!!

Welcome to Build-A-Fic, which isn't building a bear; it's a one-shot that YOU build and send in my ASKS!! Reblogs and notes are greatly appreciated!! (You may use this template for your blog if you would like, just credit me please!)

HOW IT WORKS!!!:

You choose a letter, number, symbol, and character of your choice from the list of fandoms below. And I'll build the fic of what you choose!

RULES

You have to pick at least one of each category and you can choose more than one of each category if you choose

You can specify if you would like it to be gn!reader or not

I do tend to get a lot of submissions in, so if you want a better chance then send yours in more than once!

If you want the $mut, then the character HAS to be 18+, no aging up.

HAVE FUN!!!

FANDOM LIST: Ensemble Stars, Naruto, Attack On Titan, Any Kpop Group, Demon Slayer, Mystic Messenger, Haikyuu, Chainsaw Man, Jujutsu Kaisen, Death Note, Black Butler, Marvel, Bungou Stray Dogs, JoJo's Bizzare Adventure, Sk8 The Infinity, Love and Deepspace, Saiki K, Studio Ghibli, One Piece, Obey Me, Blue Lock, Heaven's Official Blessing, HunterXHunter, SpyxFamily, DC

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ -

numbers

FLUFF

Sunny Day

Picnic

Laying Down

City

Shopping

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:·

ANGST

Battling

Arguing

Loss

Fear

Thunder

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:·

SMUT

Date night

Eating

Surprising you

Help me zip this up

Too much to drink

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:·

letters

DIALOGUE A) "What the Fuck?" B) "Oh! I remeber that! C) "I don't owe you anything." D) "I hate you!" E) "Is that what happened? Tell me more." F) "I think that was a bad idea..." G) "Poor you." H) "No one can hear you out here." I) "Isn't it beautiful?" J) "What's that smell?" K) "I wasn't being sarcastic." L) "That's my favorite ____!" M) "Why would you think that?" N) "Do you like it like this? Or this?" O) "Stand back a little." P) "Will you marry me? Q) "I want a baby." R) "You want a baby?" S) "Is this our last goodbye?" T) "Do you want a pillow?" U) "Is that real?" V) "That's not what you said last night?" W) "That's a horrible idea!" X) "Or I could ___." Y) "That's the last time I'm doing something like that." Z) "You were doing so good, what happened?"

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:·

symbols

SETTING LIST

+ - Balcony

= - Parking Lot

$ - Grassy Field

^ - Apartment

% - Hot Springs

! - Beach

& - College

? - Bedroom

( - Mall

) - Cafe

< - Fancy Restaurant

: - Busy Street

┏━━━━━•❃°•°•°•°❃•━━━━━┓

I always welcome your requests and dms, and I'm excited to add even more in the future! As a student, I do my best to manage my time, so it might take me a little while to respond—please don't feel sad or offended if I haven't gotten to yours yet!

reblogs and notes are appreciated!!

[velaryqns]

ok awesome :) could i please request a james wilson x fem!reader where reader is a young (of age) nurse or intern at the hospital and her and james have been seeing each other but not really labeled it, and she finds out she’s pregnant? maybe her and james are excited but someone at the hospital points out their age gap and james’ failed marriages and is just an asshole about it idk. feel free to write whatever you’d like! thank you so much <3

I DONT CARE,

Fandom: House MD

Pairing: James Wilson x Female Reader

Warnings: pregnancy, age gap (reader is in her 20s, James would be in his 30s/40s), slight angst, divorce, people being assholes, Greg House being Greg House, there’s a little time jump: sorry not sorry.

Notes: you best believe I was quick to write this. I love me some James Wilson and he doesn’t get enough love. I had so much fun writing this pen.

You sat in silence, the test in front of you as you stared at it. Cuddy had sent you home because of how sick you had felt throughout the day. And it wasn’t getting better no matter how much you insisted. You had made sure to tell your James goodbye before you headed out to return to your apartment.

James said he would be at your place later that night, and you accepted this. He knew you hadn’t felt well, and only checked to see if you needed him to bring you anything; you didn’t.

You hadn’t voiced concerns to James about the possibility of being pregnant. When you’d first started getting close to him people made sure to inform you of his bad luck with relationships. He’d been divorced three times and his girlfriend before you had passed away in a horrible bus accident. Hospital staff continuously told you there would be no reason to have a relationship with James, this included his best friend: Greg House.

So far, you’d been grateful you didn’t listen to them.

You could hear the keys jingle in the door and only turned toward it to greet him. James walked in and the smell of takeout food was comforting, you hoped you could keep it down.

“Hi hon,” you called out, rising to your feet and grabbing the takeout bags. James insisted on keeping the bags until you leveled him with a playful glare that admittedly flustered him every time it was sent his direction. His feeble arguments failed and you took the bag with you to the table, setting it down and glancing over at the test, “I think I found out why I’ve been so sick.”

“Oh really?” James came up behind you, an arm wrapping around his waist as he took a glance at what you were staring at. His eyes went wide and a small smile formed on his face as he turned you to face him, “Oh honey, this is amazing!”

“Are you sure?” You questioned, laughing at his excitement and wrapping your arms around his neck, “Only Cuddy and House know about our relationship…”

“And that’s all that matters,” he reassured you, his lips gently meeting your own, “Let’s eat and head to bed, we can get you to a doctor and then tell Cuddy.”

You hummed, lowering you face to rest on his shoulders while he gently rubbed your back. You did just as James had suggested, and the next morning he had scheduled you an appointment. He made sure it wasn’t at the hospital you both worked at, knowing that the news would get out faster if that was the case.

James reluctantly went off to work, being Head of Oncology never rests, and you headed to the appointment on your own. You had a reason for why the father wasn’t there, and sat through your appointment in mostly silence.

Once you had your ultrasound pictures in hand you made your way back to the hospital. You checked in with Cuddy, then ventured to James’ office. You were already pulling the photos out when you saw Cameron, Taub, and Foreman standing in the room. You quickly slammed the pictures to your chest, eyes wide as you looked at James.

His eyes landed on the photos, then he gave a small nod, “I will handle House in a moment, could I please have a moment alone in my office?”

The team glanced toward you, but then filed out and left you in silence. Once you were certain they were far enough away, you walked to his desk and set the pictures on your desk. A smile spread across his face at the sight, and he lifted it up, “This is amazing.”

Time passed and to say the both of you were excited was an understatement. While you still hadn’t put a label onto your relationship, you two were still going to welcome a child into the world. James insisted on you moving in with him, and you jumped at the opportunity. Cuddy and House were the first to know, then House’s team, and then word slowly traveled by ear around the hospital.

You were sitting at the nurses station, trying to relax in between patients. You ran your hand over your small bump, glancing up as House limped in with a paper clip. Foreman and Chase were close behind him.

“Clinic hours?” You questioned. Greg hummed, bored and nodding as he continued past you and into a room. You stood and grabbed a stack of files to figure out which patients were his or not. Knowing that most nurses couldn’t tolerate House, you automatically fell into the position of being the nurse to help him.

“Still can’t believe you’re the girl who got Wilson to settle,” Foreman muttered. You raised a brow in confusion, “We all know how relationships go for him. Who says adding a baby into the mix will be any different?”

You were silent for a moment, pulling your hands away from the files and watching Foreman, “James and I have been perfectly fine, thank you.”

You returned to your tasks, but Chase wanted to add onto the doubts, “And what about the age difference? Everyone knows about it now. Doesn’t it concern you to be having a baby with someone who’s older than you?”

“What goes on in my relationship is my business,” you snapped, dropping the files to the counter and feeling the eyes of other nurses on you, “He is my partner, not yours. He is the father of my child, not yours. And that’s all that matters to me. I don’t care about our age difference or his past relationships. Why? Because I do love him, and unless you two want to be romantically involved with him I don’t see why you care about my relationship with James.”

You turned to the other nurses who watched you with wide eyes, “I’m sorry to dump this onto you, but could one of you help House for a moment? I need a moment.”

“Of course,”

Once you received your response you walked away from the nurses station, tears welling in your eyes. You forcefully wiped them away as you opened the door to James’s office. You knew he would be with patients, so you shut the door and moved to the couch in his room.

Sprawling into the sofa you stared at the ceiling while resting a hand on your stomach. You didn’t plan on dozing off, but it eventually happened at some point you were awoken by James gently shaking you awake.

“Cuddy sent me to find you,” he said softly, helping you sit up as he remained crouched in front of you, concern on his features, “Are you alright?”

“Are you worried about having a baby with someone…younger?”

He looked concerned, taking your hands and shaking his head, “Where is this coming from?”

“Everyone has been talking about it since news got out,” You murmured, already feeling your tears ready to fall. James’s brown eyes were filled with so much worry as he rubbed his hand on your knee, trying to comfort you, “You can’t expect me to believe you haven’t heard it.”

“Of course I have, from House himself,” James informed you, then he shrugged, “But I don’t care. We love each other and this baby, and that’s what matters to me. Your age is the least of my concerns, and so are past relationships.”

Your eyes met his own, and you gave a small smile as he reached up to cup your cheek, wiping tears away, “I hope our baby learns so much from you.”

He only chuckled while you leaned down and kissed him. You pulled away and his brown eyes watched you lovingly. He smiled, “Let’s go get you and little one some food.”

James stood and helped you to your feet, arms wrapped around your waist as you shared another brief kiss. You two walked beside one another to the cafeteria, and when you saw House and his team you froze slightly, but James being beside you kept you going.

You each grabbed your food, James making sure you got everything that was healthy for you and the baby, then joined House and the team. Chase watched you closely as you settled in a chair, fighting for comfort while James watched in silence. He was never one to take away your physical tasks, but would still silently fuss over you.

You began eating your lunch, but the team’s eyes didn’t leave you. You shared a glance with James and he remained silent, so you sat up straight, “Is there something you all need?”

“You’ve been crying,” House pointed out rather abruptly, “Either your hormonal or the reality of the father of your child has come crashing done on you.”

James heaved a sigh, dropping his fork and leveling a glare at House. You place your hand over his, silencing him so you could speak, “There is no reality to it. James is the man I love, we’re having a baby, and that’s that.”

Chase’s eyes widened briefly, and Foreman quickly returned to eating his food. House studied you for a moment, and you only watched in response, clenching your jaw and feeling James take your hand in his own.

You silently returned to your meal, and after a moment: James did as well. There was a smug look on his face that he was thankful you hadn’t noticed.

It was later that night, after you had both gone home, when you were changing into your pajamas. You were silent as James walked in, he tucked his hands in his pockets as he watched you for a moment.

“I don’t think Chase or Foreman will say something again, or House for that matter,”

You turned to him, gaze softening as you sat on the bed, “They can say what they want. I don’t care.”

With that you laid down on your side, turning off your lamp and waited in silence for James to join you.

And sure enough, he did.

[missmoonfrost]

Wolfstar bingo wrap-up

This summer's wolfstar bingo is over. It was my first time participating and it was so fun! Thank you @wolfstarbingo2024 !

I have learned:

- Much better English! (still not perfect, I know)

- Some new AO3 features.

- Several fantastic authors that I look forward to reading more from!

I have apparently not learned:

- Time management and planning... (no bingo this year)

Together we have created 130+ new wolfstar fanfics (how cool is that?!) I have read all of them and if you have the time you totally should, they are all worth it. If not - here are some pearls to check out:

Easier - rated E - 1,5k - angsty smut, exes - by @theresthesnitch

Sex and the art of motorcycle maintenance - rated E - 1,5k - smut with a motorcycle - by @sliebman10

Remus Lupin and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Book Signing - rated M - 3k librarian Remus meets author Sirius (there is also a part two rated E) - by @severedreamerfox

It's not goodbye, it's not forever, it's just not right now - rated T - 5k - super angsty, alcoholic Sirius - by @lucigoo

Leather and cinnamon - rated E - 13k - single dad Remus meets cool bar owner Sirius - by @tracingpatternswrites

Wisdom of the Oracle - rated E - 6k - King Remus meets Oracle Sirius - by @theresthesnitch

Down Dog - rated M - 7k - Remus has a crush on his yoga teacher - by @cannesavenue

The degree of betrayal - Graphic depictions of violence - rated M - 3k - Remus is undercover in Greyback's pack while they catch Sirius - by @mundrakan

Dancing with a stranger - Graphic depictions of violence - rated M - 2k - angsty, first wisarding war - by @theresthesnitch

Not Jealous - rated E - 2k - Remus is not jealous, not at all... - by @my-castles-crumbling

of jokes and "lost" jumpers - rated E - 2k - fluffy smut - by @my-castles-crumbling

Coincidental Abscenses - not rated (but I would say T) - 1k - teenage wolfstar getting together - by @fictionalsimp09

To Moony, With Love - rated E - 18k - spy AU, when Remus gets caught by the enemy Sirius realises he might be more than a friend to him - by @sliebman10

Uncomfortably Numb - rated M - 6k - super angsty, alcoholic Remus - by breathintime

Spilling Coffee on Strangers - not rated (but I would say T) - 1,5k - coffee shop meet-cute - by @fictionalsimp09

Memories of you - Major Character Death - rated M - 7k - Sirius grieving Remus - by @brandileigh2003

"welcome home, baby (we wish your parents had told us you were coming)" - rated T - 5k - wholesome wolfstar with all their friends - by @m00neroni

Collapsing - rated M - 18k - disabled Remus, hurt/comfort - by @brandileigh2003

Sirius Black's Tiny Little Gay Awakening - rated G - fluff - by Deya

Pretty please, with sugar on top - rated E - 6k smut, age gap, degradation kink - by @youprettythings

Scratch on the moon, like a familiar smile - rated E - 6k - cowboy AU, first meet - by @cannesavenue

To have and to hold - rated G - 13k - wolfstars wedding (but the main story is jegulus!) - by @her-smile-forges-galaxies

[yuujispinkhair]

To the end (Chapter 6)

The end of the world as you knew it began with the virus spreading in your dorm. Six months later, you are once again on the run. By your side is Sukuna, the bad boy of your camp, the most unlikely companion you expected. But maybe this is exactly as it should be because sometimes hope comes in the form of a smug smirk and a tattooed pair of sword-yielding arms.

Masterpost ++ Chapter 1 ++ Chapter 2 ++ Chapter 3 ++ Chapter 4 ++ Chapter 5

Pairing: Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: Zombie Apocalypse AU, horror, smut and some fluff Playlist: Zombie Apocalypse Word Count: 7k Warnings: 18+, violence, gore, angst, smut, cumshot, cum-eating, squirting, rough sex, zombies, fighting, knives, blood, mentions of several side characters' deaths, alcohol, suicidal thoughts. This AU is based on The Walking Dead, so imagine a world like this. It's cruel and hopeless at times, but there is also a love story :) All characters are of age. This story is 18+. Minors don't interact.

You wake up to an empty bed, shivering slightly from the chilly temperatures in the cabin. There's an uneasy feeling in your gut, and after a second, the horrible memories of yesterday slam back into your mind with full force. You look around feverishly. Where is Sukuna? In your hurry to get dressed and look for him, you almost fall over your own feet.

But you find him in front of the hut. He's standing with his back to you, overlooking the forest surrounding the small cabin. The strong muscles on his broad back are tense, just like the rest of his posture.

You approach him slowly while softly calling out his name so as not to startle him, still scared that a wrong move will send him running.

When Sukuna's gaze meets yours, you see a glimpse of the boy who cried himself to sleep in your arms last night, grief-stricken and lost. For a fleeting moment, his eyes look at you almost longingly. As if he wants to be back in your arms.

But the moment is gone quickly, and Sukuna's face turns into an emotionless mask. It makes your step falter for a moment. The memory of his tears on your naked skin is still fresh, as well as the desperate way he fucked you, looking for an outlet, for an escape, that you gladly provided to him.

Part of you hoped he would let his guard down and let you continue to comfort him this morning. But one look at his carefully blank expression tells you that Sukuna isn't ready to be open about his feelings and share his grief and pain with you in broad daylight.

His face is a carefully constructed mask of indifference. He looks as cold and beautiful as a marble statue, almost cruel with the way his lips lift at one corner in a malevolent smirk that doesn't reach his eyes.

"Pack your things, brat. We are leaving. There's no reason to stay here any longer."

Your stomach clenches painfully. You can hear the hopelessness in Sukuna's words. The resignation. There really is nothing here for him anymore. Only pain. You understand why he wants to leave as fast as possible and leave this place that will always remind him of what he lost. You blink the tears away that are gathering in your eyes and tentatively take a step closer, feeling the urge to give Sukuna some kind of comfort at least,

"Sukuna..."

But you don't get any further because he interrupts you, his voice toneless but unrelenting,

"I said pack your things."

You gulp hard and swallow down what you want to say to him. The words of comfort, the reassurance. You can see that he wouldn't take it well at this moment. Nothing is left of the boy who cried in your arms last night. This is a different Sukuna. Cold, hard, ready to slay his way through hordes of zombies and every other enemy he might encounter.

And so you nod and turn around wordlessly to gather your belongings, saying goodbye to your small temporary home of the last few weeks.

Your journey to the other end of the forest is one of strained silence. Sukuna shuts down any of your attempts to talk. The pace he sets is a fast one, making you breathe heavily and effectively shutting you up.

His brother's leather necklace with the golden tiger charm dangles around Sukuna's neck. You see him touching it unconsciously several times, but anytime he realizes what he's doing, he quickly jerks his hand away as if the metal burned him.

Sukuna is tense, mouth set in a grim line, red-rimmed eyes scanning your surroundings with a defeated look in them. He is still functioning, though. A fighter through and through.

His senses are still sharp. He gets in front of you when there's the sound of a twig snapping to your right, automatically putting himself between you and any potential danger, shielding you with his tall body as if it has become a natural instinct to do this.

A small group of zombies breaks through the underwood at that moment, stumbling towards the two of you with their grotesque movements and their disgusting gurgling noises.

You watch in horrid fascination as Sukuna slays his way through them. He is fighting them with a lot more vigor and violence than needed. But he seems to be in a frenzy, driven by grief and rage, as he throws himself into the fight with all his brute strength.

Blood is spraying everywhere as Sukuna's katana hacks down over and over again on the zombies in front of him. He doesn't stop when they are dead but keeps hitting them with his sword, cutting them into little pieces, smashing their heads under his army boots, and scattering their body parts over the forest floor. He is breathing harshly and glaring at the bloody body parts with a feral look on his face, eyes burning with hate.

He isn't just killing them, you think. He is erasing them from this world. The creatures that killed his little brother.

It's a horrible sight. And a heartbreaking one. Tall, muscular Sukuna leaning over the bloody mess on the forest floor, bringing his blood-stained katana down onto the scattered pile of bodies, hacking desperately, his hands gripping his katana so tightly that his knuckles are white.

"Sukuna...please stop."

You have to suppress the bile from rising in your throat as you carefully wade through the slippery mess and reach out to put a hand on Sukuna's back.

His muscles feel taut under your hand, and his shirt is wet from sweat and dark blood. He twitches at your touch but doesn't pull away.

You try again, gently,

"They are already dead...please...stop."

Your hand caresses his back lightly, just a whisper of a touch, scared that you might make him pull away again if you ask too much of him.

But he finally stops and straightens up, katana hanging loosely at his side as he turns to look at you with a face sprinkled with dark blood and tears.

Your eyes widen. You hadn't realized Sukuna was crying during the fight.

Automatically your hand comes up to cup his cheek, not caring about the dirt. You wipe away some of the tears. It's a loving touch, tender and caring, wordlessly letting him know that you are here for him, that you want to ease his pain if he only lets you.

For a moment, Sukuna stands in front of you, just watching you with a blank expression, sword arm held out stiffly, and you hear the awful syrupy sound of the blood and gore dripping down from it. But then you feel him lean into your touch ever so slightly.

Encouraged by this, you give him a shaky smile,

"Let's move on, ok? The sooner we find a good place to stay for the night, the better."

"Yeah, let's look for a place to set up a camp for the night."

He steps away from you, pulling up the front of his shirt to wipe the gore and tears off his face. And you watch the tattoos on his stomach move when his abs flex. It's a hypnotic sight, a little normalcy after this horrible scene you witnessed only minutes ago. When the shirt drops down again, Sukuna looks more put together. Only the understandably haunted look in his eyes remains.

You set up camp for the night at a deer stand. Sukuna orders you to climb up into the wooden stand and get some sleep while he stays up to keep watch.

When you climb down again a few hours later to take over the watch, you get wordlessly pulled into Sukuna's arms. Your surprised gasp gets silenced by his lips which move over yours in a fierce, desperate kiss.

And after that, you speak the language you and Sukuna can speak the best, letting your bodies do all the talking.

From that moment on, it's deep, feverish kisses and low moans. Hands and teeth tearing at each other's clothes until you are a half-undressed tangle on the forest floor, where Sukuna rolls on top of you and takes you with his usual hard and unrelenting thrusts. He cums on your stomach and licks you clean afterward while his long fingers pump into you mercilessly, making you cry out his name as your whole body shakes and you cum all over his hand.

He gets dressed in silence before telling you to be careful during your watch and then presses a surprisingly gentle kiss onto the side of your cheek before his strong fingers let go of your chin, and he climbs up the deer stand to get a few hours of rest too.

You doubt he got any good sleep though, judging by the tired look on his face and the dark circles under his eyes when he climbs down the ladder again at the first light of morning.

After a silent breakfast, the two of you continue your journey.

It's afternoon when Sukuna's left arm darts out in a warning. You stop in your tracks, your heart hammering fearfully in your chest as you strain your ears. And then you hear it too. There are voices. Human voices.

You freeze up completely for a moment. Your last encounter with other survivors wasn't a pleasant one after all. Panic is threatening to engulf you as you remember the two strangers who wanted to steal your supplies.

You still see images of Sukuna's fight to the death with those men when the voices suddenly turn into screams.

Your gaze snaps to Sukuna, eyes wide. He puts a long elegant finger to his lips, motioning for you to stay silent. His other hand wraps tightly around your wrist and pulls you along as he slowly makes his way toward the commotion, carefully making sure not to make any noises.

Soon you spot a clearing just a few meters down the hill. A small camp is set there. Only two tents. The inhabitants of those are currently all standing with their backs to each other, holding up their weapons as they get surrounded by a large group of zombies that constantly closes in on them.

The campers seem to be a family. A middle-aged man and woman, their teenage sons, and an older woman, probably the grandmother.

Your heart jumps to your throat at the sight. You can see that the horde of zombies is too big. That family will not make it out alive. Your hand darts to the long knife in your holster, unsheathing it.

"What are you doing, brat?"

Sukuna's voice is a harsh whisper. You blink at him, eyes wide with fear,

"We're going to help them, right?'

His eyes narrow, and before you can move, he gets in your way, placing his tall, muscular body between you and the clearing.

"No, you're not going down there! Have you lost your fucking mind?"

"But Sukuna! They need our help! We have to do something!"

"No, we don't!"

You feel anger rise in you. Anger at Sukuna for trying to stop you, anger at him for not talking to you all day, anger at yourself for getting angry at him despite his grief, anger at the zombies, anger at that family for not being more watchful and letting themselves get ambushed by a whole horde of walkers, anger at this cruel world that puts you into such situations.

A broken sob escapes your lips as you quickly step to the side, trying to get past Sukuna in your blind urge to do something, to right some of the wrongs in this fucked up world.

But Sukuna is faster than you. His strong arms grab you and stop you from getting any further.

You howl like a wild animal and struggle against his tight grip,

"Let me go!"

But you don't stand a chance against Sukuna, of course. He tightens his hold on you, his muscled arms wrapping around your waist in a death grip before he lifts you off your feet and half drags, half carries you away from the horrible sight of the family fighting against the zombies and screaming for their lives.

Tears are running down your face, blurring your vision. You don't even know when you started crying or why you are in such a desperate state. But somehow, you cannot stand the thought of more useless deaths, more innocent people dying, and more unfairness, just like when Yuuji died.

You keep struggling against Sukuna's hold, frantically kicking at him and clawing at his arms.

"Please, we have to help them! They will die!"

Your desperate cry gets muffled by a firm hand clamping down over your mouth. Sukuna's other arm is still wrapped painfully around your waist while his tall, athletic body presses against your back, holding you tightly to him, effectively restraining you and shutting you up at the same time.

His low voice is an angry whisper right next to your ear. You feel his lips brush wetly over your earlobe as he spats,

"And I don't fucking care what happens to them! All I care about is keeping you alive! Why don't you understand that!? You are the only one that is important to me! I don't give a fuck about anyone else! I won't let you go down there and get yourself killed! I won't lose another person! I lost my brother! I won't lose you too! Get that in your stupid head, you fucking brat!"

You can feel the rise and fall of his broad chest against your back. He's breathing heavily. His mouth lingers on your skin, hot and wet, blowing his warm breath onto your neck.

You draw in a sharp breath that turns into a muffled sob.

Sukuna is scared, you realize. He is scared to lose you like he lost Yuuji.

It's as much of a love confession as you can imagine coming from him at the moment. A desperate plea to stay alive for him because he needs you just like you need him.

And suddenly, the fog seems to lift off your thoughts. Your mind is clear again. You realize how stupid you were. How could you think running blindly into that clearing was a good idea? Sukuna is right. There are too many zombies, and you have no idea how many more will join the ones already down there. Helping that family would most likely just get you killed too.

This time you don't try to resist when Sukuna starts walking again and drags you with him, hastily putting more distance between the fight and the two of you.

You spend the following days in the same routine. During the daytime, you make your way through the forest, mainly walking in silence. And at night, Sukuna and you are fucking on the forest floor, with your nails digging into Sukuna's broad back while his hips snap in feverish moves and his lips leave bruises on your neck. You decorate his tattoed skin with scratches while his tears leave their wet trail on your neck and shoulders.

You know this is probably not how coping should work. But these are dark times, and Sukuna is a special kind of guy. This is the method that seems to work best. It's the only one that seems to give him some comfort. And so you lay with him every night, giving him all the comfort and love you can by meeting his hard deep thrusts eagerly and stroking or sucking his gorgeous cock with sweet abandon until he cries out softly and spills his warm seed into your mouth or on your body.

You think at night, when he is lying in your arms after another round of desperate fucking, Sukuna seems better. His kisses turn softer, and his embrace becomes gentler. You could even call it cuddling, what the two of you are doing for a short while before you have to part again so one can sleep and the other can take watch.

In broad daylight, things are different, though. After his outburst, Sukuna retreated again, marching along wordlessly, eyes fixed on the way ahead, muscles tense, and jaw clenched. You can see the grief he carries with him like a heavy weight dragging him down constantly. You can see it in his posture, in the way every step seems painful for him.

The golden tiger charm on the leather band around Sukuna's neck keeps rhythmically moving with every step. You gulp hard when you see him unconsciously raise a hand again to wrap it around the small charm. This time he doesn't let go of it but holds it tightly.

It's hard to just walk beside Sukuna, unable to do anything. You know how to help him when you lie down with each other. When you can offer your body to him. When you can let your hands and your mouth, and your body give Sukuna the comfort he needs.

But you want to help him here right now too. Not just in the hazy moments at night, when he can hide his expression from you, and you only feel his tears on your skin but don't see them. You want to comfort him in daylight too.

"Sukuna..."

You reach out, gently placing your fingertips on his biceps.

Sukuna shrugs your hand away instantly, taking a step to the side to put some distance between the two of you. Cold, maroon eyes sparkle at you.

"Get away from me, brat."

He sounds hostile, but you can see that longing in his eyes again. His actions and words tell you to leave him alone, but his eyes show how much he needs someone to help him.

And suddenly, you can't take it anymore.

It's too much. Yuuji's death, worrying about Sukuna, the lack of sleep, the constant fear, the zombie attack on that family, and your craving to help Sukuna while he keeps pushing you away.

Suddenly you find yourself snapping at him,

"I won't get away from you! I care about you, Sukuna! And I can see how much you are suffering! Let me be there for you, please! Don't push me away all the time!"

Tears run down your cheeks as you stand there with your fists helplessly balled at your sides, glaring up at Sukuna's much taller figure, shaking from how distraught you are.

Deep down, you know you are selfish for asking this of him, but you can't deal with this anymore. You can't tiptoe around him when you know he needs you. When every night, he cries while fucking you in that desperate and frantic way but still refuses to talk to you about what happened.

Sukuna stares back at you. His maroon eyes are wide and haunted. He blinks several times, and his emotionless mask slips, face contorting in a painful grimace. His lips twitch before he starts speaking, and his low voice is just a broken whisper,

"But can't you see? I don't deserve it."

His words catch you off guard. You blink and stare at him with a puzzled expression.

"What?"

"I don't deserve any of your sympathy, brat. I'm a monster. I bring chaos and death everywhere I go. I even killed my little brother."

Blood is rushing in your ears and pumping much too fast through your veins, threatening to make you black out. What is going on here? Has he lost his mind? He isn't making any sense!

"What are you saying, Sukuna? You didn't kill Yuuji!"

A sad humorless chuckle escapes Sukuna's lips.

"It might as well have been my hand which did it. I swore to protect him. But I failed him. I wasn't by his side when he got into a fight. I wasn't there to keep my little brother safe. It's my fucking fault he died!"

The last part is an angry scream that ends in a wretched-sounding sob. One of Sukuna's large hands comes up to cover his face.

It breaks your heart to see him like this. So broken, stripped of all his arrogance and pride.

You feel unsteady on your feet as you begin to realize what Sukuna has been dealing with in silence all this time. The messed-up version of events he constructed in his grieving mind. The guilt he has been drowning in. Sukuna became an unreliable narrator to himself, twisting the story of his brother's death and turning everything into his fault.

You make a strangled noise as more tears well up in your eyes, and then, without thinking, you close the small distance between the two of you, throwing yourself at Sukuna, reaching out to wrap both arms around his tall figure and hug him. For a second, you fear he will push you away again. But he doesn't move.

"But... that's not how things were. None of it was your fault."

Your voice is a gentle whisper, afraid you will lose him if you speak louder. Every muscle in Sukuna's body is taut as if he is on the verge of running. And his next words make a fearful knot form in your stomach.

Sukuna sounds dead, talking in a gruff, toneless voice while his eyes stare unseeingly at a place behind you.

"It should have been me who died. Yuuji was the good twin. I am the bad one. It's ironic, isn't it? They always try to teach you to do good, but if you do it, you die, while the ones who do bad things stay alive."

"Stop saying stuff like that! You both should have lived! And you were always a good brother to Yuuji! Even now, you want to bring him back to your family grave!"

You look at Sukuna with pleading eyes, desperate to reassure him.

His gaze meets yours and Sukuna laughs softly. But it's a humorless, cruel laughter. There's a shadow ghosting over his face. His eyes hold a deep sadness as he looks at you and shakes his head ever so slightly.

"I changed my mind. What use is it to bury him in my family grave? He is gone. I don't believe in that crap about the afterlife or whatever. Yuuji isn't here anymore. So what good will it do him? That is only something selfish I wanted to do, to fool myself into believing I didn't fail my little brother completely. But I did. I promised Yuuji I would always protect him, but instead, I got him killed. It's my fault. I don't deserve your compassion or your trust."

His words make panic rise in your chest. Sukuna sounds defeated, full of self-hatred and hopelessness. These are the words of a man who can't forgive himself. Someone who has lost his will to live.

Your mind is reeling. What can you tell someone who is down at his worst? You exhale shakily and tilt your head to look into Sukuna's eyes.

"I'm not gonna say things will be ok because I know they won't. You will always miss your brother and regret not being by his side when it happened. But Sukuna, I need you. Maybe this is selfish, but please, I need you here by my side. I won't survive this on my own. So please stay alive for me, ok? I know it's painful and hopeless, and death seems so much easier, but I am not ready to die, and I cannot stand the thought of losing you. So please stay with me, Sukuna."

He huffs, eyes glittering dangerously, and his words come out snide, almost mocking.

"Do you really want a zombie apocalypse partner who gets the people he wants to protect killed? I think you'd be better off with someone else."

His words make the blood rush in your ears. A mix of fear and hot searing anger floods your senses. What does he mean, you'd be better off with someone else? Is that why he is acting this way? He thinks he will get everyone he cares about killed? He thinks he has to protect you from him? Will he just drop you somewhere? Will he just leave you behind in his state of self-hatred?

Suddenly you see red. You bring your hands up and push angrily at Sukuna's firm chest, taking a step back to glare up at him,

"How can you think I would be safer with someone else!? I only trust you! And before you get the stupid idea to drop me at some camp or something, let me tell you that I will not stay with anyone else! You are my zombie apocalypse partner! Only you! And if you leave, I will just follow you! I will follow you until the end of the world, Sukuna!"

You yell the last part, not caring about the zombies you might attract with your noise. Angry tears run down your cheeks, and your body shakes violently.

For a moment, Sukuna stares at you as if he can't believe you are real. Then he crosses his muscular arms in front of his chest and sneers at you.

"This makes you sound just as crazy as I am. I hope you realize that, princess."

In your helpless anger, you laugh, a strange squeaky sound that sounds all wrong and insane, and maybe you are proofing Sukuna's point by acting like a mad woman, but you cannot stop. Your hands ball into fists at your sides as your gaze burns into his, and you yell the next words, so desperate to get your point across,

"I don't care if I am crazy! Everything in this world is crazy! And it scares me out of my mind to imagine being in this madness without you! Don't do that to me, Sukuna! You dragged me away from that fight because you didn't want to lose me! So why the fuck can you even contemplate leaving me behind with someone else? I know your brother is gone, but I am still here, and I need you! You told me it is us from now on! That we are in this together! Don't you dare take that back now! I need you by my side!

Don't give me that crap about needing to protect me from yourself, as if we are in some shitty teen romance movie! It's not true! You are the best thing that has happened to me since this stupid virus outbreak! And I care about you, whether you want that or not! I care about you a lot, you idiot! Do you really think I would let you go and get yourself killed? Do you have any idea how bad I felt when I went back to the hut alone when you asked me to? I will never do something like that again! So stop this idiocy and promise me we are still in this together!"

You glare at him with tears streaming down your face, breathing heavily and almost choking on your tears.

Sukuna watches you curiously, and you can see his adam's apple bob as he gulps hard. Something in his gaze twists, and then he asks in a soft voice,

"Why are you so stubborn, brat?"

"Must have learned it from the best, I guess."

You wipe angrily at the tears streaming down your cheeks while Sukuna's gaze wanders scrutinizingly over you as if you are the most fascinating thing he has ever laid his eyes upon. Finally, his gaze meets yours again, and he nods slowly,

"Ok."

You frown at him, surprised by the sudden softness in his features.

"Ok?"

"Yeah, I'll keep going. For you. I won't leave you, I promise. We're in this together, just like I said."

Relief washes over you, making your legs almost give out. You sway precariously for a split second, but Sukuna's strong arms are there to catch you. They wrap around you and pull you into his firm embrace.

Your sob of relief gets muffled when you nuzzle your face into Sukuna's muscular chest. You hear another strangled sound, not even sure whether it's coming from you or Sukuna.

But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Sukuna is holding you. That he promised you he will stay alive for you, that he will stay by your side. It's still him and you.

"Thank you, Yuuji, for being so kind and caring. You will be missed a lot."

You smile through your tears as you place the small bouquet of wildflowers you picked on the makeshift tomb you and Sukuna built out of several big stones.

It's been a week since you found Yuuji, and this morning you suggested holding a small burial ceremony to honor him and say your goodbyes since Sukuna is still adamant about not bringing Yuuji's ashes to their family grave. He calls it an unnecessary risk. This is true, but you still tried to encourage him to follow his initial wish. Until last night.

Last night, when your head was resting on Sukuna's naked chest after another round of feverish fucking, he whispered something to you. A confession, a fear.

"Too much can happen on a long journey like that. What if we get into an ambush and have to leave everything behind? I cannot stand the thought of losing Yuuji's remains like that. It would be like failing him all over again. He has to stay here."

And that's why you are burying Yuuji here, where you can say farewell to him under controlled circumstances.

You eye Sukuna carefully as he gets on his knees in front of the tomb. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, brushing away the tears that gathered there before he lowers his head and closes his eyes, lips moving silently.

You know he isn't praying. Sukuna doesn't believe in that. But in his head, he is talking to his little brother. Words that will only be between them. A goodbye, most likely words of love and pleas for forgiveness.

You hardly dare to breathe, scared you will make a noise and disturb this intimate moment between the twins. Yuuji isn't alive anymore, but the bond between the brothers still remains.

After a few minutes, Sukuna lifts his head again, maroon eyes glittering in the last rays of the setting sun.

"Goodbye, you idiot little brother."

He speaks the words with a grin on his face and a hint of his usual teasing humor in his voice. Despite the flippant message, you can hear the affection in his words.

Sukuna gets up and joins you on the fallen log you are perched on, sitting down so close to you that his thigh brushes against yours. He runs a hand through his hair, smoothing the pink strands down while his gaze remains glued to the last resting place of his twin. He snorts softly.

"And that's it... that's a hero's burial. In the middle of nowhere, far away from home, with no one here but his brother who couldn't save him and a girl who didn't even really know him. That's what you get for being a hero."

"I don't think we are the only ones who remember him. I think someone like Yuuji always stays with everyone he ever meets. The things he did weren't in vain, Sukuna. And the ones he saved will always remember him and be grateful for him. He was very selfless."

"Yeah, my stupid selfless brother. He was too good. It's unfair, isn't it? All the heroes die, and this world is left with the scum, with the selfish ones, the ones who only have their own advantage in mind. That's why I'm still alive. The bad ones survive, and the good ones die."

Sukuna's army boot connects with an empty coke can, kicking it into the small campfire you lit to chase away the cold of the night.

Since your argument a few days ago, things have become better. Sukuna isn't as closed off anymore, and some of his guilt seems to have been lifted off his shoulders. But he still has moments like this when the darkness of his thoughts threatens to swallow him again, just like now. But you think you know how to handle him now.

You smile challengingly at him and ask him in a soft voice,

"What about me then? I am still alive too. Does that mean I am a bad person too?"

Sukuna rolls his eyes and makes a dismissive gesture with his hand,

"No, you're still alive because of me."

You chuckle softly and turn to face Sukuna with a raised eyebrow.

"Ah, so you admit that you saved someone too? Maybe Yuuji wasn't the only hero, huh? Sukuna, you aren't a bad person. Don't you see it? You just said it yourself. I owe my life to you. Would someone who only thinks of himself have burdened himself to take me with him? Would a bad person have saved me? You would have been much faster without me, but you chose to help me that night when our camp got overrun. You chose to take me with you even though I was holding you up. To me, you are a hero too. My personal hero."

Sukuna lets out a long breath, shaking his head.

"Yeah, fine, I saved you. But still, I only look after myself and you. Everyone else can die for all I care. Look what I did to that family. How I let them get eaten. And how I killed those two guys who wanted our supplies. And I would do it again without any hesitation."

"And I told you, I understand. You saved us on both occasions. And I am grateful for it. I am grateful for your ability to judge a situation calmly and make the decision that keeps us alive. You aren't a bad person for wanting to put the ones who are important to you first."

"You don't understand. Yuuji was the good one. It should have been me who died."

"Sukuna... I understand that you miss your brother, and I know you feel guilty because you are still alive, and he is not. But it wasn't your fault. It was an accident. Yuuji's death was something that was out of your control. You aren't to blame for it."

You lean against Sukuna's side and rest your head on his broad shoulder, eyes fixed on the dancing flames of the campfire as you continue talking in a gentle voice,

"You are a good guy, too, Sukuna, at least to me. I don't need a knight in shining armor who always does the righteous thing. I am more than happy with the antihero who keeps us alive by putting us first. I know Yuuji was a symbol of hope for a lot of people, including me, back when we were in our old camp. But you have become an even bigger hope for me. My only hope in this world. Maybe you aren't sunshine like your brother was, but you are a fire. A fire that can be raging and dangerous when it burns our enemies. But also comforting, keeping me warm and safe and making me feel like there is still a reason to keep living. That's what you are to me. A reason to wake up again tomorrow. You are my only light in this dark world."

You exhale softly and lift your head to look at Sukuna, feeling almost drunk after letting all that out. Your gaze travels slowly over the filigree tattoos on Sukuna's jaw and follows the black lines upwards to the pair of fake eyes that are inked into his skin before you finally reach his real eyes.

Your gaze meets his, and you find that Sukuna is looking at you with a stunned expression in those pretty eyes. His long eyelashes flutter for a moment, and then he asks in a slightly hoarse voice,

"That's how you see me?"

You nod, smiling at him through the tears in your eyes.

"Yes. And I don't want you to change. You don't have to be this perfectly selfless good guy. You don't have to be the hero who saves everyone. You are my personal hero, Sukuna, and that's more than enough. You save me over and over again, and I like you exactly the way you are. I..."

You stop momentarily, your heart pounding wildly as you look at the boy who has become your whole world. And suddenly, it's so natural to say all those things and bare your whole heart and soul to him. Because, after all, the two of you have already been through more than someone can usually take. So what is there to fear? A love confession is the least scary thing in the current state of the world. And so you let those words spill from your lips that would have made you shy and nervous in your old life.

"I love you, Sukuna. I really love you. It's so different from what I thought love was before this virus. Everything I felt in the past seems so childish, so irrelevant compared to this. I think I never knew what love was supposed to be. But now, with you, I understand it. I watch you kill, and I am not scared but grateful. I watch you fight, and think it's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I see you with blood smeared all over you, screaming and laughing death in the face, and I am so full of love. I love you at your worst and at your best. And I can be my worst version around you too, and I know you won't turn your back on me. I have never trusted someone so much before. And if this isn't real love, then I don't know what is."

Your lips tremble at the last words, overcome with emotion, and you see the utter amazement in Sukuna's beautiful maroon eyes. For a long moment, he just looks at you, apparently too surprised to do anything, but then his lips twitch, and he says softly,

"Princess... come here."

Sukuna's strong arms wrap around you, holding you tightly to his chest. There's a smile in his voice when he tells you,

"I think you're crazy for seeing me that way. Absolutely insane. But it makes me want to be that guy you think I am. So I will try to be him."

It makes you laugh, your lips moving against Sukuna's shirt, chuckling softly as you shake your head,

"You don't have to try, you stubborn idiot. You already are him!"

You feel and hear a low laugh deep in Sukuna's chest.

"Ok, I will accept the compliment, then."

There's a short moment of silence in which Sukuna just holds you. You breathe in his scent, letting it wrap you in its comforting familiarity. Leather and sweat and the unexplainable hint of cherry blossom.

And then Sukuna sighs softly, and his velvety voice is very close to your ear when he speaks again,

"I don't know much about love. I think before all of this, I never felt it for anyone apart from my brother. I hated this world and everyone in it. But now there's you... and I like having you by my side. I want to burn the whole world down, but not while you are still in it. You aren't scared of me or repulsed by the things I do. After everything I've done, you're still here and treat me like I'm worthy of your affection. And that makes me... that makes me feel more human again and less like a monster. You make me want to continue, no matter how fucked up everything is. I want you next to me and under me, and I want to tease you until you roll your eyes and get mad at me because it makes the apocalypse a lot more fun when I can bicker with you. You mean a lot more to me than I ever thought possible. The thought of losing you terrifies me. I would do anything to keep you safe and see another sunrise with you."

You are sniffling against his chest, overcome with emotions, as hot tears run down your cheeks and into Sukuna's shirt. The raw openness in Sukuna's words caught you off guard.

He rests his chin gently on the top of your head and adds softly,

"I think I'm in love with you too, brat."

You stifle a sob when strong fingers cup your chin, and Sukuna tilts your face up, making you look at him.

He looks beautiful, even here in the half shadows. The flames of the campfire flicker enticingly over his tattoos and Sukuna's high cheekbones, accentuating his sharp angles and handsome features. His usually maroon-colored eyes glow red from the fire reflecting in them, like two glittering rubies.

He watches you with those stunning eyes, letting his gaze travel unhurriedly over your face as if taking you in for the first time.

Finally, the left corner of Sukuna's lips lifts ever so slightly in a hint of his usually smug smirk. But tonight, it's not really a smirk. It's more of a soft smile.

"It wasn't just me who saved you. You saved me too, princess."

And then Sukuna's eyes close, and he slowly leans closer to you. The breath you were holding leaves your lips in a soft sigh when Sukuna's lips press against yours in a gentle slow kiss that tastes like tears and hope and love.

Thank you so much for reading! This was a long chapter aaaaah, but I needed Sukuna and Reader to sort things out :) I hope you liked their I love you scene! It made me very emotional! I am so weak for this kind of love, where you love someone with all their darkness, and they do the same when it comes to you. It's what I love the most about writing my version of Sukuna, and I am very happy that I could include it in this AU too. I hope it could touch you too.

Please let me know what you think. Comments and reblogs make me happy!

Chapter 7 (last chapter)

[silvervioletvalentine]

❣️Gift Giver❣️

Pairing: Max verstappen X single mom Cherrie!

Word count: 7k

Summary: in which Max’s love language is gift giving and cherrie can’t pretend to him for much longer.

Cherrie looked down at her phone boredly as she slowly ate away at her salad , sat outside on the lunch tables while they waited for their teams to tell them their press schedules for the day.

Barely paying any attention to those around her , vaguely listening to Daniel chat away to Charles about how excited he was for them to go to Vegas, humming along when  they tried to include her in their conversation .

Too busy texting her brother back and forth and smiling at the cute photos he sent her of Lola , feeling her heart soften at the sight of her baby girl grinning toothily at the camera .

She really did miss her and no matter how many times she had to leave to do her job, it never got any easier saying a goodbye to her baby. No matter the fact that she knew that she would have fun at her brothers home , happily occupied with playing with his own kids who were around the same age.

Sighing to herself a little sadly , kind of wishing that she had just brought Lola along with her to the paddock .

Although she knew that it probably wasn't the best of ideas to do seeing as Cherrie was well aware of how bad her mood had been lately , and when she was upset it always affected her racing too.

Not negatively, no. But in the way that she channelled her anger and upset into being more aggressive and risky on the track. She didn't want her baby to see her accidentally take someone else out or to see her own mother get into a crash too.

She was still mortified and furious at the fact that Lola had already witnessed her crash once.

The reason for her still simmering anger that didn't seem to be going away anytime soon thanks to a certain redbull driver .

Max had crashed into the side of her Ferrari a few weeks ago and she had yet to even look at him , despite the consistent and ongoing apologies and small talk he tried to make with her. She just point blank ignored him, thinking that it was for the best that she didn't open her mouth around max.

Because she was well aware that she had a nasty temper and a really bad habit of saying cruel and horrible things to people when she was pissed off.

And well, she was already in some trouble with the FIA about constantly swearing and going off on one over her team radio all the time.

So She couldn't really afford to be seen attacking max in the paddock, or anywhere really .

And she knew that she would be the only one that would get all the blame if she snapped at him anymore. Max having made himself out to be this apologetic Angel to the press, publicly telling her that he was sorry and telling the reporters that he was determined to repair their Rocky relationship and that he hoped to earn her forgiveness again soon.

Meanwhile Cherrie had publicly told him to get fucked and ranted to the press on multiple occasions about how much she fucking hated the sight of him and that they will certainly never be friends.

Especially not after he ruined her race when she had been on her track to brake records and become first in the race to world championship again.

She was furious , they're was no denying it but most of all she was getting increasingly annoyed at the way that max just wouldn't get the fucking hint and leave her the hell alone .

They had never even been friends in the first place .

At least , Cherrie had never considered max as anything more than a rival that she had to beat at the most .

She rarely spoke to him and the only time that she ever spent time with him was either at conferences or on the track.

They weren't friends . She didn't want to be friends either, she had enough of those .

She didn't need anymore drama or bullshit being added onto her life. She liked her routine and hated any type of change and becoming max verstappen's friend just wouldn't fit into her busy schedule.

She trained . She raced. She won and then she would head straight back home to be with her baby.

She didn't stick around to talk to anybody and it was a well known fact that she was not to be disturbed once she had finished with her work.

She simply turned off her phone and forget that everyone else even existed for a little while. That was the way she liked it.

But max would not leave her alone. Seeming determined to get her to forgive him and give him a second chance to make it up to her after practically flying her off the track out of pure carelessness around the corners . He had been stupid and refused to leave a gap , resulting in the both of them being pulled out of the race.

Cherrie had wanted to kill him when she had hauled her aching body out of her crashed Ferrari, glaring over at max who was doing the same.

She didn't even let him utter a single apology her way before she was hauling her heavy helmet at his head and snapping at him to fuck off before storming away.

Most people , after getting a helmet thrown at their head and being verbally assaulted to the media, would take the hint and leave her the fuck alone.

She had even expected max to retaliate . Maybe curse her out and glare her down every time that he saw her too.

It was what everyone else expected to happen too, knowing how serious max took winning and how his temper could be just as bad as hers was.

Yet none of that happened.

Instead he seemed to have turned into a needy teenager who was desperate for her to forgive him, trying to get her attention at every chance he got.

Like now for example.

She was still focused on her phone in front of her when she felt Charles nudge her leg underneath the table , still not looking up from her screen.

Muttering a moody "what?" To him.

Charles glanced over her shoulder to the redbull driver that was sending Cherrie hesitant glances as he stood talking to a member of his own team, looking like he was considering come over to their table. Weighing out his options and his luck of being murdered by her .

Charles nudged Daniel to get him involved too, the Australian glancing over at max with a bright smile as he happily waved him over.

"Max is coming over Cherrie. Think you can be nice?" Charles muttered to her with a amused grin toward his teammate .

Thoroughly enjoying watching max run after her like a sad puppy that was trying to get her attention while Cherrie just completely blanked him or give him unimpressed stares.

Charles was certain that Cherrie had gotten her poker face and judgmental looks from kimi, it was almost eery how similar  the two drivers looked when they were displeased with someone or something.

It was more than a little intimidating to witness the way that cherries face seemed to tell you to fuck off before her mouth even did.

Cherrie put down her phone , scowling irritably as she glanced behind her to see max walking over to them slowly , smiling at her hesitantly when he met her eyes.

She just groaned loudly and turned back around , immediately annoyed .

"Fucking hell! Why can't he just leave me alone?" She almost whined in misery as she stuffed her face with her food in distress.

Daniel snorted and laughed loudly at the look on her face, as though seeing max was causing her actual physical pain.

"Cause he wants to be your friend. Why can't you just say you forgive him and move on?" He voiced towards her in amusement , Charles nodding in agreement .

Cherrie just looked at him blankly "because I don't forgive him!" She stated back the obvious , huffing to herself as a familiar shadow fell over her.

Max sliding onto the seat at the end of the bench, right beside her.

Giving them all a smile but keeping his eyes on cherries pissed off face as he spoke up .

"Hey guys! What are you gossiping about?" He teased them. Picking up a tomato from Daniels plate and eating it. Ignoring Daniel telling him to get his own food and to keep his hands away from his plate.

Any rational and calming thoughts went out the window for her at the sound of his voice.

Her therapist telling her to take a deep breath and be kind always suddenly disappearing from her mind.

Instead of smiling politely , she scowled. Snapping at him "we're discussing all the ways that I could send you into the barrier during the next race." Referring to that fact that he had crashed her into the barrier himself . Refusing to let her anger go.

Max grimaced a little, sighing loudly. "I've said that I was sorry. It was accident honestly-" he started to explain himself for the hundredth time, having even sent her a postcard with a apology and explanation while they were both on their summer breaks too.

She had sent him a broken toy redbull car that she had snapped in half back to him in return.

Max took that as her not forgiving him in the slightest.

Cherrie glared over at him, unimpressed. "You know what else I'll make look like an accident?" She started lowly , ignoring Charles face palming at her immediately threatening max despite the long scolding that she had gotten from their team for doing so regularly.

"Me killing you. I'll make it look like an accident. Don't you worry." She snapped at him, body tense and stomach uneasy as she looked away from him stubbornly . Refusing to even meet his gaze.

Max pursed his lips, raising an eyebrow in vague amusement at how she always went straight to violence first .

He could offer her a high five and he was certain that she'd punch him in the face.

She was wired a little wrongly , clearly having the same hot headed temper that her father had been known to have on track too.

"Lovely." Max breathed out a small laugh. Easily brushing off her threat , used to it by now. Instead he  reached into the pocket of his hoodie and pulled something out carefully .

Then he held his hand out in front of her, clearing his throat a little to get her attention again.

"I got you these at the garage while I was filling up fuel to my car last night.." he muttered a little shyly , scratching the side of his reddening neck when he noticed the surprised and amused looks that he was being given from his friends.

Cherrie slowly glanced down at his hand, brows furrowing in surprise as she stared at the two packs of colourful socks in his hands.

They were both a bright orange colour with different pictures of animated cats on them. One in a adults size and another in a baby's size too.

She looked over at max in pure confusion "what? You got me ... socks?" The disbelief was clear in her voice as she cautiously took the packet of socks from

His hand as though they were a ticking time bomb.

Turning them over and inspecting them with a slight frown. Not knowing what to say.

She had just threatened to kill him and max was giving her socks?

What the fuck?

Max just laughed bashfully , gently nodding his head and refusing to even look over at Daniel and Charles who were giggling between themselves hysterically, Knowing looks on their faces as they watched max fidget underneath her shocked stare.

"Yeah.. I mean, I saw them and I remembered you telling someone that Lola was obsessed with cats lately  and well. It just reminded me of you guys." His quietly explained to her sheepishly .

Cherrie was speechless. Looking between the cartoon socks and her rival in disbelief.

Before finally slowly nodding her head. Sliding the socks into her bag beside her , clearing her throat a little awkwardly .

"Right.. well. Lola will love them so thank you .. I guess?" She frowned a little , beyond confused to why he was suddenly gifting her socks out of nowhere.

Max just smiled , relieved that she hadn't throw the socks at his head like she had done with her helmet.

From then on things got a little strange for Cherrie because suddenly max was popping up everywhere she was with weird little gifts in his hands for her.

Last Thursday he had walked over to her table and handed her a bottle of perfume that he had gotten from the airport .

Claiming that he thought she would like the smell as she awkwardly held onto the ridiculously large bottle of perfume and looked at him in pure confusion . Not knowing what the hell was going on.

"Are you trying to say that I stink?" She has bluntly asked him in confusion .

Watching with wide, bewildered eyes as max rapidly shook his head and Hurriedly assure her that he thought she smelled lovely all the time.

While a giggling Charles had tears in his eyes as he watched max awkwardly explain that he just saw the perfume and thought of her , again.

Because suddenly max had gotten it into his mind that random gifts were now the way to her heart.

Like now for example.

Cherrie was walking along the paddock ready to get some lunch, her little two year old stumbling alongside beside her as she held onto two of her fingers with her tiny hand.

Lola babbling away to her about a episode of Spongebob that she had been watching, Cherrie just humming along whenever was appropriate .

Only for her to pause in her step with wide eyes , also bringing Lola to a stop too as they both stared at a familiar redbull driver that was casually walking their way while pushing along a bright orange and black stroller , waving at them happily as though there was nothing out of the ordinary with him pushing a stroller . As though it was just something he did every day

He payed no mind to the shocked and confused looks he was receiving from everyone around them , simply pushing it over to Cherrie and her toddler with a large smile on his face.

Lola just giggled as she chewed on her hand, looking up at him with wide , curious eyes .

Max knelt down in front of her and gently pulled her fingers from her mouth, his face softening as he looked at the mini Cherrie in front of him.

"I can't believe how much she's grown over the summer!" Max exclaimed in slight disbelief .

The last time he had seen her baby she had barely been able to stand up without falling over and now here she was, jumping up and down on the spot as she grinned up at him with chubby cheeks and sweet giggles.

Cherrie laughed a little, stroking her hand over her baby's hair fondly as she looked down at her baby that was slowly growing up .

"I know! I had to go out shopping with her for new clothes cause she doesn't fit the others anymore. I honestly miss her being small.. she was a lot easier to carry then." She muttered honestly before remembering  just who she was casually talking to.

Remembering that max was someone that she was supposed to hate. Not chatting with about her baby having a growth spurt over the summer.

She cleared her throat and tried to shake off the shock and the weird butterflies she felt in her chest as she watched max sit crossed legged on the floor in front of her.

Lola letting go of her hand to do the same as she waved her teddy in Max's face for him to see.

Both of them sat on the floor in a busy paddock while Cherrie just looked down at them in silent disbelief . Wondering if she was still dreaming.

Or hallucinating.

"Teddy bear! He's my favourite. Do you have a teddy bear? I have so many!" Lola rushed out to him excitedly . Not shy in the slightest.

Cherrie supposed her confidence and fearlessness to talking with people she didn't even know came from the fact that all of the other drivers had made sure that she was spoiled and regularly took her out for day trips every since she was born.

She had grown up surrounded by loud , loving drivers and had quickly became the little princess of the paddock.

So she wasn’t shy in the slightest.

Max grinned down at her, eyes softening as he gently took the bear she was shoving in his face and stroked its soft fur.

Admiring the way that Lola had the exact same expressions and pretty eyes as her mother did. Max was glad that she was more like Cherrie instead of her father. She was the cutest two years old he had ever seen in his life.

He could still remember the day he had first met her when Cherrie had come back to the paddock , refusing to take off anymore time at home.

Determined to get back to racing she had walked in with a baby wrapped up in a blanket , little Lola just gargling and squealing at everybody happily.

Max had even gotten to hold her and could remember fondly how he had been so worried about accidentally hurting her or not holding her right until Cherrie had laughed at his worry and told him that it was fine.

She had helped him hold her baby properly , trusting him to look after her while she was busy in an important meeting with her team.

Max supposed it was why it hurt so much to see how one wrong move on the track had made her hate him so much. Because max had always hoped that the two of them could become closer.

Before the accident and before his fuck up, he had been so certain that the two of them were getting along nicely.

She talked to him , laughed at his stupid jokes and even hugged him after each race.

And it may not have meant anything to Cherrie but to max it had meant the whole world.

Because he liked her, well, more than liked her.

Hopelessly in love would be the more correct term.

He had been infatuated with her since they were kids at karting competitions , his crush only growing and growing each year until it had turned into overwhelming love for the hot headed Ferrari driver .

But he knew that to her, he had just been another driver that she had to get along with for the sake of her own reputation.

Her life had been racing and Lola, with no room for anybody else for a long time .

Yet max knew that there was something there between the two of them.

He Had seen the way she used to give him a small wave whenever she saw him in a crowded room. The way she used to flush whenever he congratulated and praised her skills on the track.

He had been certain that he actually stood a chance , until that terrible day on the track when he had sent them both flying off the track at ridiculous speeds .

She hadn't smiled at him since then.

Refusing to even look at him most of the time. Too stubborn and hot headed to forgive him so easily .

But max was determined to make things right and seeing as him just apologising didn't work, he had moved onto plan B.

Gift giving. Giving her random and slightly strange gifts until she forgave him again.

Max gestured over to the brand new troller he had been pushing with a proud grin.

Slowly pushing himself up To his feet again and looking at Cherrie for approval when lola whined at him and lifted her arms up in the air for him to carry her.

Cherrie hesitantly nodded her consent, watching as max carefully lifted her two year old up into his arms with ease. Placing her on his hip and bouncing her a little to make her giggle, tapping the end of her tiny button nose with a fond grin on his face.

"I heard you telling Charles that your old stroller was broken. So I got you a new one. It's foldable and can fit into the boot of your car easily . Plus .. look at this.." he excitedly told her as he easyJet balanced lola on his side and pulled up the small white tray that popped up in front of the stroller .

"It's a little table so she can eat snacks while you're out! It's really light too so it won't make your arms hurt if you have to carry it." He rambled to her happily , grinning at her proudly .

Cherrie wondered if she had gone into shock.

Swallowing thickly as she glanced between max who was now busy tickling a giggling Lola in his arms and the brand new, expensive stroller in front of her.

"You- you bought me a stroller?" She could only repeat in shock. Utterly speechless . Again.

Max just smiled and looked at her calmly , trying not to laugh at the look on her pretty face.

None of her usual bitchness and cold remarks making an appearance this time.

How could she insult him or tell him to fuck off when he had just bought her baby a stroller?

It was impossible to feel anything other than gratitude and pure amazement towards the one man that she had so desperately been trying to convince herself to hate.

"Yeah . You needed one so I got you one." He simply replied before glancing down at the stroller with a slight frown of uneasiness at her lack of reaction.

"Is it- is it okay? I don't know much about strollers obviously but I asked the man selling them which one was the best one for two year olds and he recommended this one. But If not then I can get you another one-" he nervously started to babble.

Even Lola was looking up at him strangely as she pulled his cap off his head and place it onto her own. Making max smile a little in amusement as he watched the cap slip down over her cute face , far too big for her tiny head .

He tilted it back for her so that she could see again, shaking his head fondly at her.

Cherrie exhaled loudly, cheeks flushing In colour as she laughed a little bashfully.

Nodding her head shyly "yes it's perfect. Thank you max . You really didn't have to." She mumbled not knowing what to do with herself or how to speak to him without the usual threats and insults being hurled his way .

Glancing up quietly and taking note of the happiness that spread across his face as he knelt down again and carefully strapped a giggling Lola into the new stroller .

Making sure that it was comfortable for her as he adjusted the straps and gave her little chubby cheeks a gentle kiss before pulling away.

Standing back to his feet as he stood beside Cherrie, hands on his hips as he admired Lola in the stroller he had bought. Filled with happiness that he had gotten the right one and made Cherrie absolutely speechless at the same time .

It was a good feeling knowing that he had done something right for once.

Glancing beside him to her with a gentle smile , he casually asked her “ You want to go get some ice cream? We can test the new stroller out. See if it's street safe." He made up an excuse to continue spending time with her.

Cherrie couldn't say no. How could she ever say no to him again when he was doing sweet things like this for her after she had been nothing but a bitch to him lately?

Simply nodding her head yes and watching in silent disbelief as max took ahold of the handles and begun to push Lola In the stroller proudly . Making silly faces down to her to make her laugh.

Cherrie hesitatingly walking beside him, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she glanced up at a smiling Max in consideration .

Swallowing deeply as she felt the familiar butterflies swarm her chest. Pursing her lips to herself as she tore her eyes away from his face, instead catching the knowing glances from both Charles and Daniel as they both childishly held up their hands in the shape of hearts at her.

Daniel mimicking kissing in the air in front of him as he laughed loudly at the look on her face , nodding pointedly to max beside her who was too busy making Lola laugh to notice them winding her up .

She flushed darkly and quickly looked away from them.

It's getting a little harder to hate him. She thought to herself a little defeatedly.

Wondering what the hell was happening to her and not understanding why she suddenly felt so happy and content walking beside someone who she had convinced herself to hate.

Cherrie realised that max liked her a month later when they were both hanging around near the track after completing another qualifying session. Both of them waiting for their teams to tell them what to do and where to go next.

Cherrie was leaning against the wall boredly with her arms crossed over her chest , race suit hanging loosely around her waist as she watched people run around like headless chickens. Keeping to herself as she fanned her face with her hand, the sun blaring down on them hotly .

She felt someone come up beside her quietly before clearing their throat to get her attention.

Fighting back a long sigh when she came face to face with max who was stood a little awkwardly beside her with his hands on his hips, clearly searching for something to say to her.

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, he nervously looked up at the bright blue sky and blurted out

"It's pretty hot isn't?" Almost cringing to himself at how out of everything he could have said , he had chosen weather as a conversation starter.

Cherrie glanced at the sun with a slight frown "er- yeah. We're in Spain so.." she gave a little confused laugh , side eyeing a awkward looking max in amusement  . "It's always hot here."

He pursed his lips, face colouring as he nodded his head along in agreement. Feeling like an idiot.

"Yeah. Yeah.. you're right . Would've been nice to have a breeze though. It's too hot to be comfortable." He rambled on unable to stop himself from talking about the weather now that he had started .

His heart racing nervously in his chest as he ignored Daniel who was shaking his head at him while giggling in amusement  a little further down, clearly listening in on his pathetic attempt to get Cherrie to talk to him .

Daniel had advised him to just be himself.

But how was that supposed to help him when being himself made him into a flustered, awkward mess?

Cherrie nodded along slowly , not wanting to embarrass him anymore than he already was.

She decided to give him a chance , humming a long a little as she fidgeted with the sleeves of the racing suit that was tied around her lower waist .

"Mmm. I've got a nice big fan back at the hotel though. So it's not too bad." She replied quietly , glancing at his sunburned cheeks and smiling subtly to herself at how cute he looked fumbling beside her for something to say to carry on the odd conversation. Not wanting to leave her side.

Max tilted his head, a minute passing by uncomfortably before he finally spoke up again.

"I er- I got you something but it's back at my hotel room." He mumbled a little shyly , glancing away from her. Unable to hold eye contact for long .

Her eyes seemed even lighter and sharper in the sunlight , sometimes it was like she was too beautiful for him to look at .

Her beauty was intimidating and max felt like a absolute idiot stood next to her. Sweating like a pig and no doubt resembling a lobster after forgetting to pack sunscreen before they arrived .

Cherrie looked over at him in surprise "what did you get me? I already told you that you don't need to buy me anything max.." she trailed off . A little curious and excited to see what he had gotten her this time despite herself.

Because max had been giving her the strangest and most random of things lately.

Last weekend he had gotten her a giant glass bottle filled with rock candy after he saw her eating it while at w yacht party with the rest of the drivers. Hearing her convince Charles to try it too, telling him that it was her favourited candy to eat but that she barely was able to find it unless she went to the beach.

She had returned home the next day to find a bottle filled with the candy. A never ending amount and small note from max that simply read.

'So you don't run out!' Alongside a smaller tub of haribos for Lola to eat too .

After she had told him that her two year old like to wear the ring sweets like jewellery in each of her tiny fingers , chomping on them whenever they were out.

Cherrie couldn't believe how intentive he was towards her and her baby. Considering she had spent months being horrible to him, he sure did know a lot about her .

It was sweet.

Max just smiled at her , shrugging his shoulders a little shyly . "It's nothing much. Just some makeup I saw at the airport . The woman on the front of the packet had eyes like yours and I thought that the makeup would make your eyes look even prettier. It was sparkly I think.." he awkwardly explained to her.

Cherrie blinked at him, before deciding to mess with him a Little .

Frowning at him as though she was offended "are you saying that I need makeup because I'm ugly without it?" She gasped at him. Trying not to laugh at the way max immediately paled and looked back at her with wide eyes.

Rapidly shaking his head no "no!no! You're beautiful, always! You don't need makeup . You're the most beautiful woman in the world and you don't need anything to make you look better because you're already a hundred on a scale of ten and-" he rambled on nervously , flapping his hands about in the air like a nervous bird .

Only to freeze in mid panicked ramble when Cherrie suddenly burst out into loud laughter , shaking her head at him in pure amusement .

"You looked so scared! Oh my god! Am I really that scary?" She gasped out between giggles , grinning at him mischievously.

Max placed his hands on his hips and gave her a disapproving sigh. Smiling despite the way his heart was racing in his chest at the thought of upsetting her.

"You're very scary when you want to be.." he admitted to her , chuckling a little.

Scratching at the back of his neck bashfully as he peered over at her shyly. "But - you're not mad right?"

Cherrie just smiled and wrapped her arm around his shoulder , pulling him into a brief side hug without even thinking about her actions . Just doing what felt right for a change.

Missing the way Max's eyes widened and his skin flushed red as he hesitantly hugged her back.

Daniel giving him a pleased thumbs up as he watched them from afar like a proud dad watching his kid ask some girl to the dance .

"Kiss her!" He mouthed at him with a teasing grin.

Max pulled a face back at him, quickly looking away with a nervous chuckle.

Glancing down at a smiling Cherrie with butterflies rapidly filling his stomach .

"Hey Cherrie?" He took a deep breath to gather all of his confidence and asked her quietly "you want to get dinner tonight?" Preparing himself for brutal rejection like usual .

Expecting her to scoff at him meanly and tell him to fuck off.

Only to be more than surprised when she simply sighed in defeat and nodded her head yes. Looking like she had come to a understanding with herself , slowly relaxing against him.

She stopped trying to pretend that she hated him. And she finally let her petty anger go and gave him a chance .

"Sure. But I'm paying this time! You've bought me enough." She told him seriously , smiling up at him fondly when he went quiet for a little too long.

Shock written all across his blushing face as he tried not to fist bump the air like a little kid.

"Awesome. Cool. Great. That's - that's really amazing-" he breathed out giddily , smiling at her like a love struck idiot.

Cherrie just laughed and patted his shoulder before finally pulling away.

Giving him a playful look and a teasing wink "I'll see you at seven then!" She told him before casually walking away.

Leaving max to stand there with his mouth gaping open in disbelief , heart hammering in his chest.

"I'm gonna buy her a ring next." He blurted out to a proud looking Daniel who happily patted him on his back and congratulated him on finally making a move.

A awkward and slightly odd move, but a move none the less .

After they started dating Cherrie had assumed that Max's gifts would stop now that he didn't have to keep gift giving to her out of guilt anymore .

Having told him many times over their dating time that she no longer held a grudge against him, that she forgave him a long time ago.

But the gifts never stopped .

Every month without a doubt she could guarantee that max would be casually presenting her with a new surprise each time.

When she had asked him why he kept doing it , telling him that he don't need to impress her anymore, that she was already dating him and loved him without the fancy gifts .

He had merely shook his head and told her like it was obvious "you don't stop putting effort into the person you love just because things are official. I wanna keep impressing you and surprising  you forever . You're special to me and I  always want to make sure that you know that."

"And I'm not so good with words but I think I'm an excellent gift giver. So each gift that I give you is my way of saying 'I love you' . Always." He had simply told her.

Cherrie had stopped telling him not to spend his money on her after that.

Instead she let herself get excited and looked forward  to each month that came by , her and Lola wondering what he had gotten them this time.

Because max , as it turned out, was the best gift giver in the world.

In January he got Lola a miniature version of a Lamborghini.

Laughing hysterically to himself when he took her around their neighbourhood in it, proudly videoing the toddler zooming around the corners like a pro.

“She’s gonna be the next world champion! We need to get her into karting as soon as we can!” Max had exclaimed giddily to her , shouting his praise to the giggling toddler who was whipping around the corner like a nascar driver .

The love for the little girl so obviously written across his face , even having a few tears in his eyes when she asked him with big hopeful eyes if she could drive for redbull just like he did when she was older.

Cherrie had watched max choke on his own tears of happiness as he took her daughter into his arms like she was his own, proudly telling her that she could be whatever she wanted to, that he would be proud of her no matter what.

Cherrie had fell even deeper in love with him that day. That was the day that they became a family.

In February he got them a bright orange kitten with more fur than face.

Lola had cried happy tears as she sobbed into Max's chest and screamed over and over again that she was going to  love him forever for this. Max had cried too. Because of course he did.

And Cherrie would never admit it to anyone but there were tears in her own eyes as she witnessed the growing bond been her toddler and max only grow stronger by the day . Easily stepping up into the role of her father without them even needing to talk about it.

Lola loved max and max loved Lola. It was as simple and as easy as that.

In March he got them a two week trip to Hawaii with all their friends .

In April he bought her a bright red and black Ferrari to match his own after seeing how much she loved his car , complaining that it made her Jaguar look boring .

Leaving it in her drive way with a giant gold bow wrapped around it.

Cherrie had given him the best sex of his life that night. And max proudly  became her passenger princess too.

In may, on her birthday . Max had presented them with a lease and keys to a new house in Monaco.

Proudly showing her the garden where he had a playground already built in for Lola, a large swimming pool inside and out. Telling her with a smile that he wanted them to live together and be a proper family . That he wanted to wake up beside her for the rest of his life.

He wanted her late nights and early mornings. He wanted to be there to make Lola breakfast before nursery. He wanted to be there for every moment, telling her seriously that he didn’t want to miss a thing

Cherrie and Lola had moved in the very next day.

In June max bought her a giant , realistic statues of all the animals that they had seen in the zoo.

Making them a pretend zoo in their garden after Lola had told him that she wanted her own pretend zoo too.

Now the first thing that Cherrie saw when she walked to the bottom of their garden was a realistic giraffe towering over her and a giant gorilla and lion statue hidden behind the trees too.

Max likes to conveniently forgot to tell their friends they had the overly realistic statues in their garden, enjoying watching them scream when they hung out around the pool, laughing hysterically while they screamed in fear as they spotted a lion out of the corner of their eyes.

In July max bought her a sauna after watching her wince with pain in her back, having read that a sauna would help with her sore muscles , he had one fitted into their home while she was at her mothers for the weekend.

Max had sex in a sauna for the first time in his life when she came home and jumped him the moment she saw the sauna with her name engraved onto the door prettily .

Best money he had ever spent in his opinion.

In august he bought Lola a stable and a white horse after she had told him that she wanted one of her own.

In September max bought Cherrie a fancy motorhome so that they could travel around from state to state during the holidays together.

In October max bought her a pregnancy test after watching her throw up for the third time in two days.

The test was positive and max had cried like he had never cried before. Holding onto Cherrie and Lola in his arms tightly and promising them that he loved them both more than life itself . That he was going to be the father that he had always wanted. Determined not to be like his own father .

He was proudly breaking the generational cycle of trauma.

In November max bought everything a baby could possibly need. They spent all weekend building baby furniture and painting the nursery with a Mural of both of their racing cars. A Ferrari and redbull side by side .

And in December Cherrie finally bought him something of her own.

She gave him a ring and got down on one knee on Christmas morning and asked max to marry her, laughing affectionately when max immediately burst into tears and swooped himself into her arms , pulling little Lola into their family embrace too.

He said yes.

[gareleia]

THE KNITTING SAGA BUT MAKE IT SAD

update: my co-writer friend FINALLY got a tumblr account, so I can tag them now!!

previously: part 1 part 2

next: part 4 part 5

lets talk about relationships, shall we. i'm gonna focus on Athena & Telemachus this time, but Hermes will have his turn later

let's be real, Athena is a hardass. sure, she cares, but she's so emotionally constipated that it really doesn't show that much. especially before she goes through that character development arc after her break up with Odysseus in My Goodbye

(and what a crisis that is)

(because her masterpiece??? failed her??? but she trusted him??? she made him much as in her image as possible??? he was supposed to be perfect???)

(and if he's not perfect, then she failed,,, and she can't fail, she doesn't fail,,, she's a goddess,,, war strategy is her domain, surely there is no way her plan could be flawed,,,)

(what even is the point of her if she's not perfect)

so yeah, she's a hardass. even on baby Telemachus who'd never held a sword before - especially on baby Telemachus, because he's the son of her favored Champion. he may be waaay younger than any of her previous pupils, but she's expecting him to shine just as bright.

Athena, on the first day: let's get down to business! make your father proud! you won't have a weakness! by the time we're done! you're the saddest pupil that I've had! and you haven't got a clue! but I will make a man outta you! Telemachus, a literal toddler, holding a wooden sword as big as himself: ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

and for years to come she trains him relentlessly. she's honestly trying to be nice about it, too. it's just that Athena doesn't do soft or gentle, her default is a neutral face of displeasure, and her idea of encouragement is saying 'you're not as bad as you used to be', or something along these lines.

Telemachus: *succeeds at something* Athena: *raises an eyebrow in a slightly different manner than usually* Telemachus: *le gasp* could it b-be? am I doing a good job??? Athena: it's… acceptable, for your age.

she never once tells him she is proud of him. because surely he already knows. he doesn't need to hear it. his father didn't, after all (ody so fucking did)

and this goes on until Telemachus reaches double digits. then My Goodbye happens, and Athena has Feelings™. she's having an existential crisis, and has to confront the fact that she had done something wrong while training Odysseus, and she can't understand what. which is terrifying, because what if she makes a mistake like that with Telemachus. will he fail her too?

will she have to leave him too, so she doesn't watch him die horribly in a tragedy that could've been prevented if only she had made him see-

so Athena doubles down and starts demanding more and more from Telemachus. the praise goes from sparse to non-existent, and nothing he does seems to be enough anymore. she goes from tough love to borderline verbal abuse, thinking that it's the only way to keep him safe and prepare him for the future.

and Telemachus endures. he has to, because he doesn't want his mother to worry. doesn't want to appear weak. Odysseus had done it, so it's only fair his son should too. and when his dad comes home, he'll be sooo impressed. he can do it!

except…. not really. it's been a losing battle since the beginning, and deep down he knows it. he can't win with Athena, not on his own.

???: if you want to impress her, you'll need the blessing of a certain god! divine intervention! someone who's not afraid to- telemachus: aeolus, what are doing in my closet?!

so anyway, Aeolus and the winions start helping him via winds and stuff, and Telemachus actually starts exceeding everyone's expectations. it's not that he'd been bad before, but he's soft, and not quite strong enough physically to make up for his gentle constitution

everyone is cheering him on. he's the talk of the palace! his mom is so proud! the suitors start sizing him up with consideration instead of dismissing him outright! (and tele, baby, that's not a good thing! ಠ_ಠ). Athena seems pleased for the first time in ages!! but he knows that it's all a lie, and it's killing him.

cause he's a good, honest boye, and he wants to succeed on his own merit, not because of cheating and lying to everyone he loves. that's vile and dishonorable.

que some very important island-wide competition that everyone is expecting him to join and win. maybe it's even his duty as a prince. like, a right of passage from complete boyhood to adolescence.

and there's,,, a lot of pressure on Telemachus to suceed. everyone and their mother are telling him that of course he's got this, he's a prodigy! def his father's son! nobody doubts his incoming victory! he's got this! he definitely won't disappoint them!

random noble: we'll be cheering you on, young prince! truly, we are blessed by the gods to have such a talented successor to the throne! we'll watch with keen eyes as you triumph over your foes and bring even more honor to your family! b(￣▽￣*) telemachus, eye twitching: y-yeah… thank you… (ㆆ _ ㆆ)

so, the night before the competition Telemachus can barely sleep, he's so wrecked by guilt and nerves. he keeps thinking - what would his father do in this situation? all the stories he'd ever heard of Odysseus always painted him as some kind of invincible, righteous, all-capable genius. so the idea of his dad ever grappling with guilt and feelings of inadequacy is just laughable. (oh, if only he knew)

so, he goes to his mom for advice. because Penelope is awesome. but he can't bring himself to admit that's he's cheating - what if she's ashamed of him? he brought dishonor to his father's name, and if anyone knows - will he get exiled?

so yeah, he basically has a panic attack and cries for like, half an hour straight.

telemachus, bawling: if I lose tomorrow, will you hate me? will dad hate me? I can't do anything right and I'm a failure and a horrible person and- just- what do I do, mother? penelope, holding him: oh, love. sometimes you're so similar to your father I wonder if the gods haven't returned him to me in spirit through you.

because no matter what everyone else says, Penelope knows the truth - Odysseus always followed his heart. oh, how he may have tried to forget he had one, to only ever use his head. but a heart he did have - does have, they have to believe that - and it's a bright and gentle one. he may have been hardened by years of pain and struggle in a way that Telemachus hadn't been yet (and Penelope's heart breaks from knowledge that her son will be, one day). but deep down, at ther cores, Odysseus and Telemachus are strikingly similar. and she loves them all the more for it.

and so, with his mother's blessing, the young prince does just as she told him to: follows his heart. he thanks Aeolus for their help, and asks them to stop giving it from now on. either he'll suceed on his own merit, or he'll wear his failure as a badge of honor and an incentive to do better.

and he loses. badly.

and the world,,, doesn't end? sure, the suitors sneer and jeer, but there's a surprising lack of disowning and exile going around. and the nobles tone it down significantly with undeserved adoration, which is definitely a plus, as far as he's concerned.

the only thing is. Athena.

oh boy.

because she's not stupid. Telemachus may have gotten away with cheating so far, but now he'll have to answer to her why he had flunked so badly, and she won't buy his go-to excuse of 'I got nervous!'

athena, expression unreadable: so. care to explain yourself, my stupid pupil? telemachus: w-well, you see… ha-ha… it's, uh… a funny story… athena: you threw away your best advantage! you've had a god perfectly willing to assist you and yet you still somehow managed to lose! telemachus: wait, what-

so yeah, Athena knew all along.

athena, mildly insulted: how stupid do you think I am, boy? telemachus: but! but! but!.. you never said anything! didn't even scold me for cheating! athena, even more insulted: child, I am the goddess of war strategy, where did you get the idea that I ever play fair and straightforward? leave that to ares, the simple-minded fool!

to clarify, she's not upset at him for cheating. she's upset that he stopped doing so. so she throws some choice words at him, implying he lacks both talent and intelligence

and Telemachus defends himself by saying that he'd rather fail on his own merit, than abandon his principles and win by lying and dishonoring his family. in response, she calls him naive.

he tries to implore to her connection to his father by saying that he was just trying to do what's right. he was following his heart, just as Odysseus had always strived to. and he's training to fight for his loved ones, not for glory of being known.

it's a one hit K.O., because it reminds Athena of her recent break-up with Odysseus. of everything they spat at each other during My Goodbye. of anger, of hurt, of disappointment, of betrayal, of I loved you and you failed me, of I loved you and I failed you, of good riddance! and y̶͈̔o̴̘̖͆u̶̻̱͆͒'̸̫̩̌̉r̷̼͝e̴̩̒ ̴͎̻̈́̎ȧ̸̦l̵̗͙͌̐o̸͚͕̚n̷̟̯͠e̵̳̩͠

and is their whole line just cursed? is this their way of punishing her for something? why do they both hurt her so? is it her fault?

telemachus: athena? are… are you okay? (‘-’*) athena, coming off MG flashbacks: well, obviously, boy, why would you even ask that (ಥ﹏ಥ)

Telemachus just hugs her, because she obviously needs it. and she melts into it like never before.

because she wasn't made for empathy or kindness. she's been born to be ruthless and cold. she's not supposed to love and be loved care about anything but winning. it doesn't come natural to Athena, until recently she had truly thought herself unable to, and yet-

yet here, right in front of her, is a boy who loves for the both of them. loves the whole world - sincerely, selflessly. a truly kind and caring soul (the nobles even joke that his true father is Polites).

she can't love.

but maybe… maybe he will teach her.

maybe he already did.

or maybe she always could.

she forgets sometimes, that her fingers know not only the roughness of swords and spears, but also the gentle softness of weaved silk. creation goes hand in hand with destruction, and she can bind countless threads together without breaking them.

and what are humans, if not strings, waiting to be cut by the fates?

also, if Telemachus can teach the goddess of cold cynicism and detached cruelty kindness of all things, then she can teach him swordplay.

yes, it's a threat.