#GONS-GONS SO GENTLE WITH KI AH

[killuaisaprincess]

capture

“Killua? Are you hurt?”

Killua peeks his head up, smiling and giggling.

“No. Not really. I could’ve gotten out at any point.”

Gon freezes.

Oh.

He stares dumbfounded for a moment.

He forgot to think.

Gon’s brow furrows.

“Killua.”

Killua glances up and pouts.

“What? It’s not like you’d come running if you heard me scream about a terrifying bowl of cereal!”

[mahizli]

Sparks of Hope (Obi-Wan, 1 BBY)

Art by agarthanguide and final part of ‘Sparks of Hope’.

***

The stars had adorned the evening sky once more, and the desert was painted in inks of azure and violet. The suns had set, and Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi was sitting alone on a rock, watching the jewelled sky.

But he was not alone.

He had never been alone, not even as a tiny infant. Not in all these years where he had breathed in, and breathed out, the Force bathing each of his atoms with light, and love.

The Force was infinite, the Force was everything, and Obi-Wan was just a small, breakable vessel who would return to its currents once more.

Soon, my Padawan.

Qui-Gon’s voice echoed in his mind, reverberating deep within his chest where strength and steadfastness lay, and Obi-Wan breathed out.

“I know, Master.”

There had been such holes in him. Such cracks, and scars, and wounds, and fissures. There had been times where Obi-Wan had felt so lonely, so cold under the unforgiving heat, alone with the ghosts of people he had loved, and lost.

But he had not.

And the Force had filled those holes, one by one. Cradling him, first, curling around him, kissing his tears away. Embracing his infinite sadness until all was left was silence. Then wonder. And finally peace.

Obi-Wan had longed for peace, more than anything – almost ever since he could remember. Even as a tiny-limbed boy, he had sought for it – in the Temple’s Gardens, in Master Yoda’s eyes and silvery Force-signature. In the Archives, bathed in azure light, where knowledge used to sing. In Qui-Gon’s silence, whenever his Master closed his eyes, basking in the moment.

And later as a Jedi, through his very crystal, immersing himself into Soresu, finding a rare form of elation as he practised the katas, travelling unknown ways along with Luminara.

You are my twin moon, Obi.

“And you my twin moon, Nara”, he whispered, like so long ago, feeling the cool, serene Force-brush on his very brow, shuddering slightly, even though it did not hurt anymore.

It did not hurt anymore, because Nara was right there, within him and around him. As was Kit. And Quinlan. And Mace. And Plo. And Shaak. Adi. Aayla. Vokara. Ki-Adi. Jocasta. And Ahsoka.

Do not weep, Obi-Wan. Do not be sad.

“I am not”, he whispered, but even now, after all these years, tears still sprang to his eyes, because Obi-Wan was human, and frail, and mortal. “I am not sad. I cry because I love you. Because you are still there.”

Sweetest pea of Coruscant...

Obi-Wan smiled through his tears, and reached out for Shaak in the Force, feeling the ghost on fingertips run through his hair, like so long ago, when his hair had not been white, but fiery and baby-soft.

We will never leave you.

This was Mace, steadfast Mace who had stood like the pillar he was against the raising darkness. But it was also Plo, who had fallen under the fire of Men he loved. As had Ki-Adi. And Aayla. And so many more.

At the beginning of his stay here, Obi-Wan had whispered all their names, like an endless litany, like pearls of an ancient rosary, every night, on and on, until his voice was hoarse and his eyes burning with exhaustion instead of tears.

He had shed so many tears for the children, for the small Initiates and the young Padawans, during the night and even under the searing suns, until his body felt like nothing more than a dry well.

Until he planted the seeds Beru had given him, and watched the Funnel flowers blossom, green and tender as they all had been.

Master Obi-Wan…

The voices rose like silver bells, and Obi-Wan wiped his cheeks, facing the stars once more, because this – this still hurt, deep within.

Master Obi-Wan, what is the lesson we tried to teach you?

“Oh, dear ones…”, Obi-Wan breathed out. “I… I know. I am… I am so sorry.”

Can you say it aloud, Master Obi-Wan?

The tiny voices were playful, and Obi-Wan straightened, closing his eyes, taking a deep breath, immersing himself deep within the Force.

“What happened to you is… it is not my fault.”

Force, how the words felt wrong in his mouth still.

It does not count if you do not believe it, Master Obi.

“I… I still struggle. Forgive me.”

We know… We forgive you…

It still made him cry. Because he had struggled so much to forgive himself, was not even sure to have achieved it entirely yet.

You forgave me.

The voice was fierce in the Force, and Obi-Wan exhaled, opening his eyes once more, reaching out through the Cosmic Force once more.

“Yes. Of course I did.”, he said, very softly, remembering yellow eyes in a gaunt, dark and red face.

Eyes that had turned to gold, as the Force had finally welcomed him back.

“I broke you. And you broke me back. It was an unending circle, Maul. And you were not the one spinning it.”

The Force was silent for a while, and Obi-Wan thought back of this moment, a year ago, when he had drawn his lightsaber for the last time. For Luke. For the Light.

His crystal had stayed silent and hidden ever since.

He had tried to bring balance once more. Tried to mend what had been broken.

The Sand people, first, who were still making offerings to their secret shrines, fearful of the desert demon Anakin had become in their minds. Obi-Wan had meditated close to these shrines, countless times, diffusing the Force with calming, peaceful currents.

You are safe. He will not harm you again.

There had been no more raids towards moisture farmers either, Obi-Wan had made sure of that. No more fighting for dominion in the desert – but protection towards everyone.

I told you so, Obi’ka.

“Yes, dearest”, he whispered. “I know you abhorred violence, and preferred neutral solutions. I suppose using Force currents isn’t entirely neutral, though…”

Well, it depends…

He loved the playfulness the Force always conveyed through Satine’s presence. It felt like a gentle warmth, against his spine. Something to lean on.

Padawan. One day, you will have to face him.

Qui-Gon’s voice was a grave reminder, and brought Obi-Wan back to the night and the desert once more.

Him.

His Padawan, who had committed atrocities Obi-Wan still struggled to believe, even after decades. Who was still alive, in a black, terrifying armour, circling the Galaxy and coming nearer and nearer in the Force, forcing Obi-Wan to shield, fiercely, and mute both his and Luke’s presences.

There is still goodness in him.

“I know, Padmé.”

Anakin had burned like the fiercest light in the Force. His Padawan had harboured the raw, explosive strength that came with true power – but there had been wounds and cracks in his soul Obi-Wan had failed to see and mend.

No, Padawan.

Obi.

Master Obi-Wan.

“He was… too attached”, Obi-Wan whispered. “To those he loved. To you, Shmi. To you, Padmé. To you, dearest Ahsoka. And… to me.”

The night cradled Obi-Wan, the stars kissed his hair like every eve, on the high peaks of the Western Dune Sea. He was cloaked in his brown robe, the one marking him as a Jedi, but could as well be a farmer’s or a traveller’s.

“It sprang from love. I know it sprang from love. But he was misled. Darkness surrounded him from the very first day.”

Sidious.

Once more, Maul’s fierce whisper echoed through the Force, the name resonating like a curse.

“Sidious. And fear. And loneliness. And pride. And a sense of exception that turned into expectations so crushing and contradictory it breached his very soul.”

Do you pity him?

Ah. This was the stern voice of his Grandmaster, who spoke very rarely to him, but whose words Obi-Wan had learned to mark.

“I do. I do feel nothing but compassion and love for Anakin. But, if I have to strike down Vader to free him, I will.”

Are you willing to lay down your life, for him?

It was a test – one more test. Obi-Wan knew it, had been used to the Force’s teachings, who often chose to spoke through voices he loved. So Obi-Wan searched his heart, thoroughly, and let the Force flow through him before he answered.

“Not for him. But for balance, for peace… I am.”

The voices were silent, for a while, becoming one with the Force once more. They were all so close. So close to Obi-Wan now. Sometimes his very atoms seemed to resonate with theirs, separated only by a tiny veil from their very essence… Parts and sums alike.

Soon, my Padawan.

Qui-Gon’s voice echoed once more – a prophecy, a warning, perhaps. But to Obi-Wan, it sounded like a promise.

Like small sparks of hope, shining like a beacon in the infinite darkness of the sky, flooding the Force with light.

FINIS.

[decembercamiecherries]

Chapter word count: 6,758 -> Total story word count: 54,043

Chapter summary:

“If you’ve been wanting to kiss me so badly,” he started and lifted his head to give Gon a sly smirk. “Then what the hell are you waiting for?”

Gon’s breathing hitched and his eyes grew impossibly large. For a moment, he seemed too stunned to move.

"Ki-Killua. Are you..." He swallowed thickly. "Do you mean it? Because, I—I don't know if I'll be able to hold back, if you're saying what I think you—“

"Gon." Killua said sharply. He was tired of the word games, of thinking. He wanted Gon to take it all away. He wanted to drown in Gon's warmth. "Kiss me."

Happy holidays! A year later and I’m still writing this thing lol. I had fun writing a whole kissing/make out chapter so I hope everyone enjoys it too. Thank you to @sketchxhunter​ as always for being so kind and wonderful to me with her chapter art <3 

Chapter title: Kiss Me

(Chapter art)

Kissing Gon was everything Killua ever wanted, and nothing he’d ever known he needed. Gon's mouth was warm on his, his body even warmer as he pressed Killua flat into the bricks at Killua's back. His hands cupped Killua's face with a mix of gentleness and desperation—just like his kiss. And the strangest thing was that Killua didn't care. He didn’t care that Gon had kissed him without his permission, or was trapping him against the wall with absolutely zero space to breathe or escape. He didn’t want to escape. He just wanted to submit to Gon, to let the other do as he pleased. So Killua returned Gon's kiss with equal passion, the backs of his eyelids painting the world black so he could focus solely on Gon because Gon was everywhere . Killua was lost in a daze of Gon and his lips and skin and body—

But then Gon yanked himself away from Killua, jolting as badly as if he'd been burned, and Killua sucked in a much needed gasp of air. The world was spinning around him and it took a few unsteady breaths before his vision focused. When it did Killua’s eyes landed immediately on Gon, who had turned white as the moon. For a few impossibly long seconds, the pair stared at each other. Killua couldn't tell what Gon was thinking; the Hunter's eyes were huge, and his lips—the lips that had just been hungrily chasing Killua's—were twisted into a thin line. Killua couldn't read him at all, but he so rarely could. Gon was an enigma. He had told himself this many times before, and this moment was no exception. "I—" Gon's brow furrowed in a deep frown as he dropped his gaze to glare down at his sneakers. His voice sounded strangely quiet, but maybe that was just because Killua's ears were filled with the sound of his own thudding heart and heavy breaths. He felt like he'd just run a marathon. Possibly the most exhilarating, incredible marathon of his entire life. "I'm sorry," Gon tried again, sounding genuinely upset and simultaneously tortured. He looked so—so disgusted that something twisted sharply in Killua's chest. What was Gon talking about, why did he have that expression on his face?

"Why are you sorry?" Killua asked. He was impressed how steady his voice sounded despite how weak his knees were at the moment. The kiss—well, the brief make out session—had truly left him breathless and shaking. "I shouldn't have done that." Gon shook his head adamantly. "Not without your consent." Killua blinked once. Then again. Gon was...he was upset because he hadn't asked for Killua's permission? Really? That was it?

Killua’s mouth was moving to form his next question before he had properly thought of how to respond, "...do you regret it?" Gon's head snapped up. The paleness in his cheeks was fading, quickly filling in with the darkness of a blush. "Wh-What?" the Hunter asked. "I said," Killua said, a bit louder this time, and pushed himself off the wall to stand at his full height. "Do you regret it?"

Gon bit his bottom lip. For a moment, Killua almost thought he wasn't going to answer, and that Killua would be left here on the rooftop garden with nothing but a racing heart and a chaotic whirlwind of emotions. "No," Gon said finally and looked directly at Killua with a challenging stare. It was a look that tore the remaining air out of Killua's lungs. "I don't. I was waiting for you to make a move, first—because I didn't want to force myself on you. But then you said that stuff about sticking together no matter what and, and I just—" his hands curled into fists, like he was trying to hold himself back from grabbing Killua again, "—I just couldn't stop myself in time. And for that I really am sorry, Killua." "But,” he continued. “I don't regret it. I couldn't, not even if I tried. I've wanted to kiss you for a long, long time, and I won't lie about that." The confession caused warmth to pool inside Killua’s heart. It overflowed, spreading to the tips of his fingers and all the way down to his feet and Killua’s toes curled as he tried not to smile from the giddy feeling that was swallowing him whole—

He didn't get it. Not really. These intense, raging emotions that Gon could pull out of Killua with a few choice words, or a simple but brilliant grin. This raging and wild desire for Gon Freecss washed away all logic and caution that rose up to greet it. And Killua's attempts to deny it and push it down had only seemed to strengthen its intensity. Or maybe it had grown stronger because Killua knew Gon by now, because Killua had opened up to him like Gon had with him, because Killua had trusted Gon when his back was up against the wall—literally. What Killua felt for Gon was crazy and impulsive and all consuming. And maybe that was why Killua believed it would be okay to indulge in Gon, even if it was only this once. Even if a small part of him felt like he was opening himself up to something he might never recover from. “Killua?” Gon spoke hesitantly and Killua let the corners of his lips curl upwards. “If you’ve been wanting to kiss me so badly,” he started and lifted his head to give Gon a sly smirk. “Then what the hell are you waiting for?” Gon’s breathing hitched and his eyes grew impossibly large. For a moment, he seemed too stunned to move. "Ki-Killua. Are you..." He swallowed thickly. "Do you mean it? Because, I—I don't know if I'll be able to hold back, if you're saying what I think you—“

"Gon." Killua said sharply. He was tired of the word games, of thinking. He wanted Gon to take it all away. He wanted to drown in Gon's warmth. "Kiss me."

Gon lunged. Killua didn't have the chance to blink before Gon's hands were on his face again, his mouth attacking Killua's fiercely. Killua kissed him back as best he could, clawing at Gon's back before grabbing fistfuls of Gon's spikes and pulling.

Gon let out a low, breathless moan against Killua's lips. His brows were furrowed, but Killua could tell Gon liked that—the stinging tug of his hair. A thrill raced up Killua’s spine and he kissed Gon even harder. Gon didn't waste any time. He quickly crowded Killua back against the wall again, their feet nearly tripling over each other in the rush of it all. This time though Gon wrapped his hands around Killua's legs and hefted him up , pinning and supporting him against the wall with his own strength. Killua didn't hesitate to take the initiative; he wound his legs around Gon's middle as tightly as he could and arched into Gon's chest. The brick was cold and rough against his back, but he didn't care. He wanted to be as close as possible to Gon. He wanted to curve around him until he could forget they were two different pieces and not one whole.

“Killua— “ Gon gasped and Killua kissed the sound off his lips. He'd never heard Gon say his name like that before. All heady and hoarse and tense with pent up desire. Just how long had Gon wanted to kiss him, really? He opened his mouth when Gon’s tongue swiped his bottom lip. He didn't stop to think about how heated this was getting. He didn't want to, not with Gon's tongue in his mouth and gliding across his own. Killua angled his head and Gon pressed into him deeper. Killua could feel every muscled curve of Gon's chest and arms as Gon crushed him even closer. Their kisses were turning messy and sloppy, but that was fine. As long as Killua got to taste Gon—really, really taste him—that was all that mattered. Kissing Gon was great. Killua couldn't get enough of it, and neither could Gon, apparently. The Hunter never let up, never slowed down...it was as if he was hunting Killua himself. It wasn’t until Killua's head was spinning in dizzying circles that Gon finally pulled away. And even then Gon just moved to kiss a frenzied path along Killua's jawline and down the slope of his neck. “ Ah— G-Gon!" Killua panted heavily, clutching the back of Gon's shirt again for something to hold onto. The cool night air felt good against his flushed face, the fairy lights strung across their heads making Gon's brown spikes of hair glow. "Y-You can slow down, y'know..." He felt himself blush darker at the rough sound of his voice. Had Gon's kiss affected him that much? "Hmm." Gon didn't pause. He was trailing kisses and small bites down Killua's throat now, smirking into pale skin whenever Killua let out a small gasp or whimper. "Don't wanna." “Ow.”  Killua's nails dug into Gon's shoulder blades after a particularly sharp nip of Gon's teeth. "Careful, idiot!"

"Why?" Gon finally lifted his head and Killua's breath lodged in his throat as he was once again at the mercy of that golden gaze. "I told you I wasn't gonna hold back," Gon said softly. His eyes were strangely intense. It was a look Killua had seen many times before, in both his dreams and reality. This was the first time he thought he knew what it meant.

Gon continued, “I know that didn't hurt you. You're a lot tougher than you act, Killua." Killua glared at him, his hands still holding fistfuls of Gon’s shirt. "Shut up. That doesn't mean I want to look like an octopus attacked me, either." Gon laughed quietly, his breath tickling Killua's face. "Okay. I'll try to be more careful..." He was moving in again, and Killua leaned back until his head rested against the wall. "Why don't I believe you?" he asked, eyes locked Gon's parted lips. Those lips spread in a broad grin. "Because you shouldn't," Gon said smoothly and closed the distance between them again. And just like before, Killua melted into Gon's touch.

An hour or two later, he and Gon were still kissing. Killua was now laying on the mattress Canary and Amane had provided for them, his arms bare after Gon had forcibly tugged his own jacket off Killua's back. His hands had been warm on Killua's skin as he ran his fingers up and down Killua's arms. Killua hadn't even noticed the coldness of the night, not with Gon there to keep his blood racing. Gon's hands felt good running through the soft locks of Killua's silver hair, too. He didn't know why Gon was so obsessed with his hair, but the Hunter hadn't stopped touching it since they started making out. He had wanted to touch Killua's hair back during their sparring session a day or two ago, too—but that felt like years ago, now. It was amazing what a difference a single day could make. Killua turned his head away from Gon's insistent mouth, face scrunching up. "You taste like Chinese food," he whined. Gon looked down at him with a puzzled expression and tilt of his head. "So? You do too—that is what we got for dinner, Killua—" "You taste like spicy Chinese food," Killua interrupted. Gon raised both eyebrows. "You don't like spicy food?" "I'm more of a sweets guy, in case you hadn't noticed." "Huh. Okay." 

Gon leaned down to kiss him again and Killua made a startled noise of exclamation against his lips. "G-Gon!" He half-heartedly pushed Gon away, ignoring Gon's whine of disappointment. "What did I just say!" "That you don't like spicy food! But I don't get what that had to do with me." "Why the hell would I want to kiss you if you taste like spice?!" "Cause you like kissing me?" Gon said, sounding confused. Killua struggled to come up with a good response. Gon was right, of course, but he hadn't expected for Gon to know that! "You're such an ass," he finally said and hooked his arms around Gon's neck to smash their lips together again. Gon laughed into his mouth and Killua inwardly rolled his eyes. Stupid Gon and his stupidly kissable face. Their kissing had become less desperate and rough as time had passed. Gon still kissed Killua with a searing want , his hands holding tightly onto Killua as if he would disappear any second. His kisses left Killua breathless and his face tingling. But now, their lips moved together slowly, carefully. Their teeth rarely clacked anymore and now Killua felt like he was floating in a heated haze. He sighed through his nose as Gon's hands wandered along his waistband. Gon's calloused fingers felt nice on his hips, rubbing against his bone and tracing every dip and curve. He didn't fight Gon when the other dared to slide his palms under Killua's shirt and up his chest. Killua was surprised that Gon hadn't ripped his clothes off already, if he was being honest, but he was glad for it all the same. He didn't mind sex, but he just didn't feel the need for it right now. He was thoroughly enjoying kissing Gon, and the small teasing touches that came with it. Anything more passionate could wait. Gon freed Killua's lips to drag his mouth down to Killua's collarbone. There were already a good number of tiny red marks and light scratches decorating Killua's skin, and the hickeys ached in all the right ways. It should be frustrating how easily Gon found Killua's weak spots, but Killua couldn't bring himself to mind too much. Not when Gon was making him feel this blissed out in the process.   The Hunter's teeth grazed across Killua's sensitive skin before finding the crook between Killua's neck and shoulder. He bit down without warning and Killua involuntarily let out a choked cry. "Do you like that, Killua?" Gon murmured, sounding far too thrilled at Killua's whine. Killua scrunched up his nose, refusing to answer the question. Not when Gon clearly knew the answer. So he simply tugged on Gon's spikes—earning a nice hiss from the other man in kind—and said, "Don't leave too many marks, idiot. I meant what I said earlier about the octopus thing." "Hm." Killua wasn't sure Gon had properly heard him. But he himself was distracted by a hot tongue gliding over the new bite, the sensation feeling very good despite the slight sting that came with it. "You're really pretty. You know, Killua?" Gon's voice came out muffled as he spoke against Killua's shoulder. He glanced up at Killua's red face, then grinned, apparently satisfied with Killua's flustered reaction. "I—I am not pretty," Killua retorted weakly. "You're just stupid." He lifted his hands to push back the few stray locks that had fallen into Gon's face. He liked the way Gon looked at him, as if Killua was the only person who mattered in the entire world. And he didn't want Gon's hair getting in the way of that gaze, even if it did make him look sort of cute. Gon's responding tone was happy, "That's okay! I don't mind being stupid if I can be with someone as amazing as you." Killua flushed darker. He would never get used to Gon blurting out stuff like that... "You don't believe me." Killua looked back at Gon, only to see the other studying him with a thoughtful gleam in his eyes. That hadn't been a question, and the insight with which the statement had been made startled Killua. "I—I, uh—" "Why don't you believe me? It's true. And I know I've told you before. I think you're really, really ama—" "Sh-Shut up!" Killua sputtered out as panic crawled up his throat and he crushed his lips to Gon's again to do exactly that. Gon's mouth vibrated against Killua's as Gon laughed into the kiss. It was obvious that he knew Killua's intention, but he parted his lips to kiss Killua back all the same. His hands were still gliding over Killua's chest, mapping out the muscles there, and Killua shuddered. He couldn't help his reactions; his body responded to Gon before his brain could catch up. "Killua—" Gon mumbled between kisses. His hands squeezed Killua's waist, causing Killua to gasp quietly. "Killua —this, this is okay. Right? You want this too, right?" "Wh-What?" He was too distracted to focus on what Gon was saying, being much more interested in how Gon tasted . Even with the spice, Gon still tasted better than anyone Killua had ever made out with before. "What're you saying? I asked you to kiss me!" "I know! But—" Gon pulled away completely and Killua let out a disappointed moan. He hadn't wanted Gon to stop, dammit! "I mean," Gon panted as he hovered over Killua, his palms pressed to the mattress on either side of Killua's messed silver hair.  "I didn't force myself on you, right?" Killua's head was spinning from both a lack of air and confusion. "Why would you ever think that?" "Because, I didn't ask you—" Killua groaned, letting his head land back on the mattress with a thud . "Gon, we talked about this!" "Not really! You never said that this was okay, that I wasn't stepping over the line—" "You were stepping over the line," Killua said and Gon's jaw dropped, eyes flying open wide. "Don't look at me like that, you already know you should have asked me if I was okay with kissing you before all this! But..." He licked his lips. They were swollen from use. "...but it's okay. You didn't. Um. You didn't do anything I wouldn't want to you to do. Alright? So stop moping about it, it's not that big of a deal." Gon had lit up the moment Killua said it was okay. He didn't know if Gon had even heard anything else, the other man was beaming so brightly it was hard to look at him directly. "Okay!" he chirped and pecked Killua's cheek. "Thank you, Killua." "Idiot." Killua shook his head. It was flattering in a way, how much Gon cared about his comforts and opinions. "Does that mean...?" Killua blinked to refocus on Gon's blushing, hesitant face. What was he thinking about now? "Does that mean...?" Killua parroted back. Gon gulped. "D-Does that mean, we're a...um..." Oh. Killua felt himself flush. He was rendered speechless for a good few seconds—because, uh, what? He wanted to kiss Gon. That was undeniable now and probably had been for a long time. He enjoyed Gon's mouth and tongue and hands roaming across his skin and burying in his hair—Killua enjoyed the physical touches, without a doubt. But... Did he want a relationship? With Gon of all people? The Hunter who Killua had demanded leave him and Alluka alone for all eternity once this job was complete? A relationship like that would be a complete and total disaster, and put Alluka at greater risk than ever before. Gon was still staring at him with wide, uncertain eyes. He wasn't going to take the initiative on this one, Killua could tell. He wanted Killua to tell him what he wanted. But Killua didn't know what he wanted from Gon exactly, besides maybe the physical pleasures they'd been indulging in for the past few hours. And what did Gon want in all this? Did he really want to be with Killua, in every aspect? "Killua?" Gon asked timidly. He was still hovering over Killua, the fairy lights from above illuminating his hair and the stars dusting the sky around his head. He looked ethereal, somehow, and the thought made Killua's heart twist sharply. "...I don't know," Killua said finally, honestly. He sounded unnaturally quiet; he sounded small. "I don't know what I want, exactly." That seemed to be the right answer. Gon's anxious expression broke into a relieved smile. "That's okay, Killua," he said and tucked a stray silver lock behind Killua's red-tipped ear. "We don't have to decide anything now, you know? I'm just happy I got to kiss you. And...I'd like to kiss you more, if that's okay with you." Killua stated up at him dumbly. His face was uncomfortably hot. "You mean, like, tonight?" Gon chuckled quietly. "Well, yeah, but I meant in the future." "O-Oh."

'I'm blushing,' Killua realized. Killua was blushing heavily and his stomach was a mess of knots. Gon wanted to kiss him some more. Gon wanted him. And Killua couldn't deny the rush of joy that spread through him at the confession. "So?" Gon asked with a slight smile. Killua let out a short breath, his bangs flopping off his forehead. His heart was galloping. "S-So, that's okay with me. If we, um, keep doing the k-kissing bit." "And the hickey bit?" Gon asked, making Killua want to die.

"And the hickey bit," Killua said through clenched teeth. "The biting bit?" Killua made an exasperated sound. "Isn't that the same thing?" "No, not really! Hickeys you gotta suck, but biting is—" "You don't need to explain it!" Killua said shrilly. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to breathe evenly despite the inner shrieking of his brain. "It's—It's fine, okay,whatever you want to do physically...is fine."

Gon's eyebrows shot up. "Anything, physically?" "Y-Yeah." "So, like..." Killua's face was on fire now. He easily understood Gon's implication. "Yes , Gon. Do I need to spell it out for you?" Gon grinned, the widest and most thrilled smile Killua had seen from the Hunter yet. He looked positively gleeful. "Nope! I'm good with anything you want, Killua." "Okay. Great. I mean, uh." Killua slowly exhaled while Gon continued to smirk down at him, amusement glittering in his gold eyes. "That's, that's good. I'm glad we're on the same page." "Mhm," Gon hummed cheerfully. "And, just so you know, Killua..." He leaned down. Killua tensed, not knowing what Gon was planning and definitely not trusting that sly expression on his freckled face— Gon's mouth brushed the shell of Killua's ear. Killua shivered helplessly as Gon whispered, "If you ever want anything more, just let me know." He pushed away again, leaving behind a stunned and heavily flushed Killua. He winked and Killua scowled through his blush. Stupid, idiotic Gon. Killua still hated how much of an effect Gon had on him. "Let's take it one step at a time, Freecss. You're lucky I'm even letting you do anything at all." Gon laughed, looking unperturbed. "I know! I was really surprised when you kissed me back!" His pleased grin changed into one of thoughtfulness. "I thought you didn't like me at all..." One of Gon's hands had moved, his fingers lightly tracing the features of Killua's face with slow, unhurried movements. His index finger drifted over Killua's high cheekbones, then across his forehead and down his pointed nose. "I surprised myself," Killua admitted as steadily as he could with Gon stroking his face. His skin was warm and tingling wherever Gon touched him. There was a strange feeling swelling in his chest and traveling to his throat, making it hard to breathe. Gon made a thoughtful humming sound. "What changed?" "You kissed me." Gon snickered at that. "That was all it took? Are my kisses that good?" "Don't get cocky, dumbass." Killua punched his shoulder lightly and Gon's laughter grew louder. "I never said I liked you, anyway." Gon's eyes were twinkling. "Yeah, but you basically just admitted you liked kissing me, so..." His fingers clasped Killua's chin, his thumb brushing Killua's bottom lip. Killua's heart raced as he stared up at Gon with baited breath. "I must be doing something right," Gon murmured before claiming Killua's mouth once more. Killua let his eyes flutter shut, his jaw slacking and lips automatically moving to respond to Gon's kiss. Blood roared in his ears, the sound drowning out the faint chirping of crickets and traffic moving about in the distance. Gon's tongue was in his mouth and his hands were on Killua's neck. Gon kissed Killua like it was all he had ever wanted his entire life, and Killua thrived off the intensity of it all. He welcomed the distraction Gon provided. If he was focusing on Gon, he didn't have to think about Kite or Alluka or his family, or whatever hell-like consequences he would soon be facing for getting involved with Gon. For a fleeting moment Killua could forget all that and drown in the pleasure of Gon's body— He squeaked, eyes flying open as he was suddenly flipped. His world spun and when it righted itself, he was leaning on Gon's chest with Gon under him. Gon had a smug grin on his face as he looked up at Killua and Killua glared back. "Warm me next time you do that," he grumbled, shifting so he could brace his legs on either side of Gon's hips. The subtle change in position made Killua aware of the slight bulge in Gon's front—but he was not going to think about that right now, nope. Broad hands grasped his ass and Killua sucked in a sharp breath. His eyes flickered down to Gon's, his face growing increasingly warm, and Gon raised an eyebrow. "This okay?" he asked and gently squeezed Killua's rear. Killua scrunched up his nose at the feeling. It had been a long time since anyone touched him like that. And the hot twist in his gut was quick to inform him that yes,that was so much more than okay. "Y-Yeah," Killua said as his hands curled into Gon's shirt. "It's fine. I told you anything physical, right?" Gon grinned. "I know. I just wanted to make sure." He went back to kneading Killua's ass, a concentrated expression on his face. He looked more flustered than Killua could remember, with scarlet freckled cheeks and glazed golden eyes. Killua couldn't stop himself from curling his hands around Gon's shoulders and kissing him roughly. It was so, so good. Gon's hands on his backside only stoked the slow-burning fire inside him, and Killua's heart skipped a beat as Gon groaned quietly against his lips. He wanted to hear lots of sounds from Gon's lips, every kind of sound Gon could possibly make. Gon tightened his grip suddenly and Killua whined into Gon's mouth. Gon smirked into the kiss, his lips moving in more aggressive, short movements. Desire painted Killua's skin in shades of red and his breaths were shallow between open-mouthed kisses. It was a heated dance between the two of them. The kind that smoothed the tension out from Killua's shoulders and made him melt into the curves of Gon's body. For a few short hours, he could just be Killua and Gon could be Gon. Once the sun rose and the morning sky turned blue—only then would Killua force himself to face the world again. But for tonight, he had Gon.

When Killua woke again, the sound of chirping crickets had been replaced with birds' twittering. Killua blinked his bleary eyes open as he slowly started to awaken. He was sprawled out on the mattress in Amane and Canary's rooftop garden, the blanket a tousled mess across his hips and one leg. There was something heavy nuzzled into his shoulder and the smell of pine tickled his nose. Killua froze, eyes flying open as he recognized the spiked tips of Gon's dark hair. The Hunter's head was shoved into the crook of Killua's neck and his arms were wound tightly around Killua's waist. He was so close that Killua could feel Gon's breath across the base of his throat. For a few seconds, Killua was too shocked to move. Last night came back to him in bits and pieces, in the spicy taste of Gon's lips and the calloused warmth of his hands. Fresh bruises and bites ached and stung across Killua's neck and shoulders, but—to Killua's relief—they ended there. Neither he nor Gon were fully naked and Killua leaned back into the mattress with a long sigh. They hadn't gone further last night. Their clothes had remained on despite the haze of lust that has swept over them like a monsoon. But they had slept together, in the innocent sense of the word. Killua's gaze wandered over Gon. He could spot a few long scratches on Gon's back too—Killua's own version of marking his partner. Gon's hair was a mess from Killua's fists and clawed hands. But he slept peacefully despite the red lines etched into his bronze skin, clinging to Killua like there was no where else in the world he would rather be. Killua swallowed thickly. He had no idea how he was gonna explain this to Alluka. This was never meant to happen; he himself didn't know how he had so quickly submitted to Gon. But there was no denying it had happened. 'And I wouldn't mind it happening again,' Killua admitted privately to himself as his eyes landed on Gon's slightly parted lips. He had more fun with Gon last night than any of his previous lovers, and he hadn't even gone that far with Gon. Hesitantly, Killua raised his hand. He carded his fingers through Gon's hair. His heart was flipping in his chest at the innocent touch. Gon's spikes were softer than he remembered. A quiet sigh escaped Gon's lips and Killua stiffened. He managed to snatch his hand back just as Gon started to wake. "Mmm..." Gon rubbed at his closed eyes with one hand and lifted his head. He stared blankly at Killua's face for a few seconds before recognition filtered into his gaze. Instantly, his expression lit up. "Killua!" he said, sounding genuinely thrilled. "Good morning!" He lurched forward before Killua could do much more than blink, planting a firm kiss on Killua's mouth. Killua felt himself turn pink. "Wh-What was that for?!" Gon grinned, eyes twinkling in the morning light. "It's a good morning kiss, Killua. Good morning!" "You already said that, stupid—" Killua shoved Gon off him and Gon rolled over onto the mattress with a burst of laughter. He didn't seem to mind Killua's attitude; he just sat right back up and beamed. It really should have annoyed Killua how cheerful Gon was in the morning. But all he felt was a small fluttering deep inside his chest. "Are you always like this in the morning?" Killua asked. "Like what?" "Awake." Gon snorted. Instead of answering he just scooted closer, moving closer and closer until he was pressed right up against Killua's side. Killua glared at him, refusing to back down or lean away in case Gon got any ideas that he was intimidated or something stupid like that. "I am if I have someone beautiful to wake up next to," Gon said slyly. Killua bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from making any kind of embarrassing sound. He didn't need to egg Gon on any more than he already did. Gon seemed to understand that though with the way his smile widened and Killua decided that was enough— He wanted to make Gon the flustered one, for once. Killua grabbed Gon's cheeks with both hands and yanked him forward. Their mouths crashed roughly in the middle and Gon made a muffled sound of surprise. But by then Killua was already parting his lips and kissing Gon with all the intent and drive of shutting him up.

When Killua pushed Gon away again, Gon looked even more of a mess than he had upon first waking up. His spikes stuck out in all directions, his cheeks stained with a brilliant red blush, and his chest heaved. When he opened his golden eyes, they were heavy-lidded and glazed. He looked like he'd just been kissed senseless, and Killua's chest swelled in pride. Served Gon right for always teasing him. "I'm guessing you're still okay with our agreement then?" Gon asked, his gaze still dazed as he stared at Killua with poorly-concealed longing. "...yeah. I guess so." It wasn't like Killua could really deny it at this point. And to his surprise, he didn't want to; he really did enjoy kissing Gon. Gon hummed happily, like Killua had just confirmed his deepest wish. "Good. I am too." He got off the mattress to stand on shaky legs and stretched up towards the blue sky with a yawn. Killua was rewarded with the sight of a gorgeously sculpted chest as Gon pulled his arms over his head and Killua tried in vain not to stare. Gon had stripped his shirt off when they'd both gotten too exhausted to make out, claiming it was more comfortable to sleep without it, and now Killua was forced to see Gon as he really was: hot. Too hot, almost. It made Killua's heart thump a little bit faster just looking at him. How the hell wasn't Gon already with someone? "You know, I'm kind of surprised you didn't try taking my clothes off last night," Killua said casually as he pushed himself up on his elbows. The mere mention of undressing made him turn a deep shade of pink, but Gon was already half naked without an ounce of shame. It didn't seem to bother him. Gon paused, then threw a bright smile in Killua's direction. "Well, I didn't think it was really necessary! I was just happy I got to kiss you. We can try that another time, if you really want." Killua scowled through his blush. "You sure sound confident about there being another time, Freecss." Gon shrugged, but Killua didn't miss the mischievous glimmer in his gold eyes. "It's not that! I just...don't think last night will be our last time like that together, if you know what I mean. I don't want it to be, at least. And I think you feel the same." Killua sputtered at that. Another wave of heat washed over him, twisting his stomach into tight knots. "Y-You can't just assume something like that, idiot!" "I'm not assuming anything!" Gon said loudly. He found his shirt and started to pull it on, voice coming out muffled from behind the cotton, "I can just tell. Besides you were the one who asked me to kiss you. You wouldn't do something like that with just anyone, and you definitely wouldn't do it if you didn't want me to kiss you more than once." Killua wanted to be angry. He wanted to tell Gon he was wrong and laugh because why would he ever want to be with Gon any more that he already had been for the last week—but he couldn't. Because Gon was right. Just like he always was when it came to Killua. Somehow, Gon knew him well enough to correctly guess something Killua would never in a million years admit aloud. How he did it though, Killua had no idea. "Don't press your luck," Killua grumbled finally and pointedly turned away. He heard Gon's low laugh though and knew he hadn't fooled Gon one bit. But then again, when had he ever? Gon had a way of seeing straight through him. It was infuriating. Buzzzzzz! Buzz! Buzz! They both jumped at the unexpected noise. Killua looked around for his phone, heart leaping into his mouth, because what if that was Alluka, what if something had happened— "It's mine," Gon said loudly and Killua turned to see Gon holding up his phone, the screen flashing. The tension drained out of him and he sighed as Gon gave him a small smile. "Hi?" Gon said to the speaker. As Killua watched, Gon's expression turned puzzled. Then, all at once, his face turned white and his eyes grew large. The air in Killua's lungs vanished in an instant. "What?" Gon demanded and Killua rushed to throw the blanket off and scramble to his feet. "Why would you—okay, okay, I get it. Are you all safe, at least?" "What happened?" Killua hissed. Blood roared in his ears as Gon frowned at him. "Is Alluka alright?!" Gon turned back to the phone. "Is Alluka okay?" The person on the other end of the line made an annoyed sound Killua could hear even without having the phone to his ear. Gon winced, pulling it back a little. "Sorry," Gon mumbled once the other person had stopped yelling. "I just wanted to make sure, that's all! Are you still there?" He paused, listening intently. Killua waited with baited breath and a rapidly beating heart. "Okay," Gon said finally. "Yeah, that's fine. We'll deal with it when we get there. Don't worry. I'll let you know when we arrive." He hung up and Killua didn't waste any time getting in his face. "What happened?" he growled. Gon rubbed the back of his head, lips twisting. "Well. It seems someone was trailing you, because some strangers showed up at the hideout." Gon's explanation did nothing to calm Killua. "And?" "And they're fine." Gon placed his hands on Killua's shoulders and squeezed. "They're all fine, Killua. Including Alluka. She recognized something was wrong before those people showed up and they all got out in time." Killua sagged. Thank god. He didn't know what he would've done if something happened to Alluka while he was away. Logically, he knew Alluka could take care of herself, but still... "And where are they now?" he asked, lifting his head to look at Gon again. Gon smiled, but it wasn't his usual radiant grin. This smile was tight, uneasy. "Well. Um. That's the thing." Killua's blood spiked again. "What thing?" "They're..." Gon took a deep breath. "They're in Hunter's Headquarters. Back in blank." Shock jolted through Killua. "Wh-What? You have something like that?" Gon nodded. "It was the safest place my friends could think to go. No one knows about it but Hunters." "Will it be a problem that Alluka and I are there, then?" "No!" Gon's brow puckered. "I don't think so, at least." Killua grit his teeth. "Gon—" "It'll be okay, Killua!" He squeezed Killua's shoulders again, and the determined look in his eyes blazed so strongly that Killua almost believed him. "Trust me! We're gonna talk to the top guys and they'll understand." "And if they don't?" Killua asked, stress easing its way to every part of his body. "They will. I won't let you down." Gon stared at him, not blinking or wavering, his fingers digging into Killua so tightly it almost hurt. It was like he was trying to will Killua into understanding—and believing—and Killua... Killua had decided to trust Gon. So he would. "Okay," Killua said after a pause and Gon's beam returned in full. "Fine. I'll trust you. But we have to get back now." "Absolutely!" Gon was already rushing around their space on the garden rooftop, grabbing their backpacks and scattered clothes. He tossed Killua's hat and his own jacket in Killua's direction and Killua yelped, almost dropping them both in his surprise. He struggled to put them on as Gon finished gathering up the last of their things. "Okay—ready?" Gon held out his hand to Killua, that fire still gleaming in his eyes. Killua looked down at Gon's hand, then back up at Gon's face. 'I trust you,' he thought and slid his hand into Gon's. "Let's go," he said aloud and Gon grinned. He dragged Killua off through the garden and towards the door, and Killua followed without hesitation.

[killuaisaprincess]

🌹🩷🌹🩷🌹

[killuaisaprincess]

chivalry

“Here. Let me kiss it better, Your Highness.”

Gon takes his small, delicate hand gently and brings it up to his lips, placing a chaste kiss on the red spot.

He lowers it carefully, and Killua pulls it back, shyly holding it to his chest, blushing.

He bites on his lower lip, just enough…

“K-Kiss me here too…”