#GOD IM GONNA. DIE SHE LOVES HIM SO MUCH SIHDFLIKJSDLKFSDF

[gabriellereed]

It all felt— safe. Some part of her subconscious was watching Matty as she spoke, absorbing his reaction, and the look on his face, the gentle concentration there... it makes talking to him as natural as breathing. Second-hand. Comfortable.

It makes her want to keep talking to him. Affirms everything that she already knew: that she was meant to be here in Matty's bed right now. With him alone.

'Wait, I'm in bed with a criminal? That's kind of hot.'

Gabi throws her head back. Groans. She thought he would enjoy that tidbit specifically. And really, it was worth it for that teasing gasp. Even if he now had ammunition about her fish-related delinquency.

And all the other stuff.

Weaving in the mention of a foster brother. Admitting, this bit of information that smarts at her soul sometimes, that she wished her mother had worked to keep her ... yeah. She was glad to tell Matty. Despite the way it struck at her ribs like a painful echo, it felt ... good. Sharing it with someone she knew would receive it gently.

It was just more fucking confirmation that she loved him— the way the confession comes with no anxiety or fear, just a little pang of echoed memories.

And they kiss they share?

When Matty kisses her, she decides to put everything into that kiss. The lingering embers of lust. The happiness, the euphoria and shared bliss they felt when they came together. The trust, burning in her soul for him. And the love. All this ecstatic, incredulous love, the wild recognition that she found in him. Matty. Who she was meant to find.

She cups his cheek and threads a hand up into that glorious hair.

'A crocheting criminal, huh?'

Maybe it was the dim light, but Gabi almost swore she saw some wet glimmer of emotion in his eyes. Her heart constricts.

'Just my type,'

A lazy grin curls across her face, and she presses her forehead to Matty's briefly, makes a noise.

"How lucky am I to find someone who appreciates that ... extremely specific type."

Lucky really wasn't a big enough word for it. Not regarding Matty.

Because. Well. There's no way to describe the swoop of joy in Gabi's chest when he reveals that he also loves Studio Ghibli, loved Princess Mononoke as a child.

Gabi props herself up on arm suddenly.

"Wait. Really?" A grin. "You kinda look like Ashitaka." As if to illustrate the fact, she plucks a strand of dark hair away from Matty's forehead, away from the dark brows so similar to the character.

A beat.

Another confession.

"I kinda had a thing for him growing up."

A snort, and Gabi rolls away to the other side of the bed, in attempts to wrangle her laughter, rolls back over to look at Matty with a reddening face.

It was kind of maddeningly funny, actually. How the more they touched, talked, the more they did anything, it just... proved their compatibility. Reinforced how perfect this was.

Settling in close against him, Gabi watches his mouth carefully as he talks, absorbing it all with silent fascination.

He had studied computer science. Marketing. It sounds like part of that had been done to appease his dad? Gabi wonders which part of it he actually liked. And if he would do college differently, embrace an entirely different major if his father allowed.

And then, oh.

Oh.

This fucking bombshell of a reveal that has Gabi's mouth drop like a stone.

'Oh, when I was little, I … had a lot of different career ideas. And, um. I had a YouTube channel? Where I'd upload movies that I … wrote? And acted in?'

They even might, apparently, still exist.

"Matty. Matty." Gabi grabs his arm, gives him a little shake, eyebrows practically flying off her head. "Matty you cannot just drop the fact you have movies out there. On Youtube. That you acted in!"

She crawls atop of him. Presses her forehead against his own. "Now I have to find them. And we have to watch all of them together."

She administrators a kiss. Another one, for good measure, so charmed is she by this admission. And impressed. And just ... fucking delighted.

Of course Matty was creative.

"You know I fucking love that? That you wrote and filmed and acted in all of these." A little huff. "That's so cool. I could barely take a picture on my flip phone."

God.

Fuck.

Fuck!

It actually kind of hurt inside her chest now, the fact that she loved him, it felt like it was burning her up inside. In a good way. In a bright, beautiful way. That was... so fucking cute. And impressive. And now all she could think about was Matty with a camera pressed against his eye.

'Now, uh, back to you…'

'Do you still talk to your sister? And why do you crochet when you get mad?'

It's hard to pivot her attention back to answering questions about herself, but she does her best, snuggles up to Matty as she does so.

A hum.

"'Yeah. I try to make a point to see her around Christmas, you know? And we text. I helped proof-read some of her English papers."

Gabi's face is contemplative. A little smile there on her lips. She loved Cecily— loved her freckles, loved the way she would always tuck her hands behind her back shyly. It was harder, when Gabi was younger, when she was prone to comparing herself to her half-sister, wondering why her mother had gotten her act together to keep Cecily and not her. But now came maturity. Well. At least... more maturity. The realization that her mother's actions really didn't have anything to do with her.

"She's a good kid. And I'm ... really glad, she got the childhood she should have, you know?"

Her hand finds Matty's. There's a squeeze. Once, twice, a third time. Almost Morse code, in a way, three little pulses of 'I love you.'

And then there was the crocheting.

Gabi snickers.

"Uh. When I was younger .... I kind of had a temper. This one boy made fun of the way my friend talked with her retainer, so I threw a plastic bucket at him on the playground." A pause. "It was full of sand."

"My foster mom at the time was kind of older. And she sat me down and made me learn how to crochet that very day. Told me to focus all my angry energy into counting the rows. Making sure all my movements were neat."

She chuckles at the silliness of that image. Some nine year old aggressively clacking aluminum hooks together as they fashioned a hat.

"So now I just do it automatically. Great for ... organizing the mind."

There's a comfortable pause. A moment where Gabi stares at him, marveling at how nice it felt to share that, how nice it felt to be tangled up in his bed talking. How nice it felt to love him right now.

Gabi presses another kiss at the corner of his lips.

Matty listened.

Matty listened and watched, patiently, absorbing every word, memorizing every detail of her life.

Howl's Moving Castle was her favorite movie, and it only made Matty's heart grow fonder, if that were somehow even possible? It just made sense that he would love her so instantly. Matty loved Studio Ghibli films. So, this only reaffirmed that she was, indeed, his soulmate, and that he loved her already.

She had a foster brother. She was smart, unlike him. She got into Cornell. And she was … a criminal?

Matty gasped.

"Wait, I'm in bed with a criminal? That's kind of hot."

He laughed. The story only endeared him more. She was passionate. She cared for animals. When she finally showed her face again, Matty was smiling at her, urging her to continue.

A half sister that was really cool. The next part was a little difficult for Gabi to say, so he inched closer (somehow), and rubbed her back. He hoped she understood that she didn't have to say anything she wasn't ready to yet. But she did anyway.

It sounded like her childhood had been difficult, at least in some parts, and it tore Matty up inside that she ever felt jealous about such a difficult situation. Something totally out of her control.

Matty kissed her back softly, holding her as close to him as he possibly could.

Then, came the final confession.

"A crocheting criminal, huh?"

Matty couldn't even give her a hard time about it for too long. There was this overwhelming feeling in his chest, a lump in his throat. He loved her. He loved her. He loved her. He swallowed, blinked away whatever emotion might've been in his eyes. He would tell her. That night, he would tell her that he loved her. It was a big revelation, a scary one, but Matty was so sure that she felt it, too.

He could wait, just a little longer.

"Just my type," he finally replied, smiling.

"I loved Studio Ghibli growing up. Princess Mononoke was my favorite. I wanted to be like Ashitaka. And I was definitely one of those annoying Dragon Ball Z kids."

Matty's college life wasn't super impressive. He couldn't get into any of the Ivy League schools, which really pissed his father off. He was embarrassed to tell the world that his son was too stupid to get in, so he made an insanely generous donation to NYU so he could keep a close eye on Matty.

"I studied computer science. And I took a bunch of marketing classes. Not enough for a double major, but just enough so that my dad didn't get too pissed off."

Matty continued to rub her back, thought silently about what else he could share with her.

"Oh, when I was little, I … had a lot of different career ideas. And, um. I had a YouTube channel? Where I'd upload movies that I … wrote? And acted in?" It sounded much worse out loud! Matty grimaced. "And I might've forgotten the password to that account so… those videos are just out there. Maybe I'll get discovered."

Matty laughed. Maybe one day he'd show her.

"Now, uh, back to you…"

"Do you still talk to your sister? And why do you crochet when you get mad?"