#GLaDOS analysis

[some-brave-apollo]

I'm so glad the Portal fandom has moved on from the "Chell is Caroline's daughter" theory to "GLaDoS and Chell have indescribable sapphic tension", not just because lesbians are awesome, but mainly because the former is so entrenched in the "lore first, text second" approach to analysis and storytelling that was becoming real popular at the time and now plagues a lot of media, particularly video games, while the latter is engaging with the text directly. I don't mind background lore as a concept but if it's important it should be in the text itself - audio logs, journal entries, environmental storytelling. Yknow, exactly what Portal 2 did in the Old Aperture segments and what the first game did with Doug Ratman. What I don't like is the FNAF approach where the most important narrative arc is a secret story told only in Easter eggs and outside material, so detached from the actual text that the text becomes irrelevant.

[idkplzhalp]

The Admin in TF2 comic 7 was so GLaDOS and Caroline (Portal) coded. Her character has made me tear up multiple times, there's such complexity to her I'm so upset.

(TF2 comic 7 spoilers)

Anyways. I think her arc is Caro/GLaDOS coded due to similar ways of keeping up this cold facade and then being the pettiest woman on the planet. GLaDOS' cut voice lines are so petty, I posted some earlier but like the way she tries to guilt Chell and makes stuff up... oh girl. And Admin put up a big fake idea of what she was doing and then turns out she's trying to keep one single guy alive for an event she cannot even remember.

They both are so focused on their goals and only do things to help themselves (though GLaDOS definitely gets more of a redemption, at least end of Portal 2). Admin only cared about Pauling & her team in comic 7 because of potentially having australium, then abandoned Pauling when she said no. GLaDOS sent the co-op bots out to rescue the humans, they saved them so she stopped using the robots, and only chose to use them again because she killed all the humans and had no one left to test. They both seem to get bored easily of whatever doesn't help their goals. Bored of anything outside of their path. An obsessiveness. GLaDOS because of the mainframe, it's built into her, and Admin because of wanting to get vengeance for her parents, which had spiraled into her full personality.

Pre-australium Helen was more Caroline in my mind, mainly in her appearance, but also the section about Zepheniah dying? The frame of Admins absolute apathy for life? She lost all her purpose now that he's dead and she feels like she didn't win.

The general story of getting so wronged by someone and basically traumatized into a different personality (Caroline -> GLaDOS -> PotatOS, Young Helen -> Pre-Australium Helen -> Administrator) is very similar. There's this spiral/shift that both of them had.

^ (Her appearance in these, like okayyyy slay girl you look just like Caroline (similarish hair & nose shape)).

^ The feelings that come from the panels of Admin are so strong, you can so easily read what state she's in. Caroline coded in my heart. The way the mansion is left uncared for while Admin sits depressed in bed was just. So emotional for me?

I don't think Caroline felt that way about Cave, the hatred Admin did for Zepheniah, as it was very implied they were besties at least for awhile (notably in scrapped voicelines from Cave about her). The hatred was more likely at the scientists, as they genuinely had no care for her (think about LabRat where they dehumanize GLaDOS and call her "it" during activation tests). Though I feel she'd hold the grief that Admin did for Zepheniah in a different way. Admin is grieving because her purpose in life since childhood was lost, she has no one to focus revenge on anymore once it settles in that Zeph' was dead forever. Caroline lost a friend and was forced into a fate she didn't want, mistreated by employees, left angry and isolated forever. She lived to be the highest assistant of Aperture, working as one for 40 years prior. So in a sense, her purpose was lost as well. We don't hear anything from the Caroline CEO era so I'd like to think she took a step back as she awaited her fate. She probably was barely keeping things together from the stress (though not to undermine how good at her job she was, I just think she'd be depressed for at least some of her CEO time). That's more headcanon territory though, and I wish there was a way we could get more confirmation on how she acted then.

Caroline wanted to live out the rest of her natural life, but it was forcibly cut short and turned into something else. Opposite end, Admin wanted to end her natural life and was forcibly kept alive. While Admin initially didn't want to live, she got stuck in a cycle of trying to spite this guy forever and it was for nothing, she ruined people's lives in the process (Mainly Pauling, ohhh she was so betrayed, someone SAVE HER).

Both were fated to live basically forever and forgot the reasons why they feel the way they do.. GLaDOS didn't remember Caroline/her being a human while Admin forgot how her parents died/that Zepheniah likely killed them.

They are wasting their time forever. GLaDOS is testing and evolving science for NO ONE but herself. Forever. She's alone. Implied to feel lonely in the Lego Dimensions song + her VA thinks so too. Eventually she'd run out of materials and there's no people left to either help her or torture her. Admin admits herself that her plan was a waste of a hundred years and for a moment she's sad. Such big efforts for something miniscule in the end!

TLDR, Both characters were mistreated at some point in life, causing them to became isolated from everyone around them. They're both self absorbed and manipulated everyone they knew for an objective that only mattered to themselves. They had no reason to be rational anymore and their hatred for normal life pleasures grew as they strayed farther from humanity.

And both are voiced by Ellen McLain, nicest woman on the planet. Wow. Thanks Valve.

Really gives same character different universe, doesn't it.

[aperture-hag]

Thinking about how according to musical theater structure, "Still Alive" is an I Am Song (a.k.a. a villain song), and "Want You Gone" is an I Want Song (a.k.a. a protagonist song).

Typically, musical theater protagonists sing about their goals (for example Elphaba's opening song in Wicked is about how she wants to "Meet the Wizard"), and the villains sing about who they are and how they represent obstacles for the protagonist (going back to Wicked, the Wizard introduces the false persona he puts on in the song "A Sentimental Man").

In other words, through a musical theater lens, we can view GLaDOS's narrative arc throughout Portal 1 and Portal 2 as the journey from being an antagonistic force working against Chell to becoming her own protagonist with evolved wants and desires.

Though in typical break-up-song fashion she has to ironically sing about how she doesn't care about the person she's singing about.

[skallyeen]

GLaDOS's insults are interesting. Because they're so clearly prejudiced, right? She's making fun of Chell for being fat and adopted. These are scummy things to make fun of someone for, and things that would realistically be punching bags for prejudiced people interacting with this character.

But I don't think GLaDOS actually holds the sentiments she's expressing. Rather, they're a means to an end.

I get this mostly from her lines in co-op on the subject:

"Did you know humans frown on weight variances? If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm."

She calls Chell fat not because she thinks she's fat or that she personally finds anything wrong with weight variances, but because she knows calling humans fat makes them feel bad, and she's bitter about being killed and wants to make Chell feel bad.

Same goes with her being adopted. As soon as it doesn't emotionally or pragmatically benefit GLaDOS to make fun of Chell for being fat or adopted, she actively refutes Wheatley's attempt at bullying her for these things:

"And...? What, exactly, is wrong with being adopted?" "Also: Look at her, you moron. She's not fat."

She walks back her previous derogatory assertions as if they don't mean anything to her, because they don't. She never believed them in the first place.

She treats Rattmann's schizophrenia much the same way. She uses it to try and manipulate him, to make him doubt himself enough to come out of hiding where she can kill him, the same way she tries to make Chell doubt herself and turn back when she's escaping the facility back in Portal 1. The ableism she expresses is not a genuinely held belief, but a means to an end that she has no qualms about using.

Whether that makes it better or worse, I have no idea! I'd say worse on account of the intention to cause doubt or hurt to the target. But it's a very unique combination of values, isn't it? You're much more used to seeing the inverse: people being insulting, with no actual malicious intent, as a result of unchecked biases. Like, for instance, friendly little Wheatley unintentionally being super condescending about Chell's brain damage and muteness.

[sciencewife]

Some GLaDOS Thoughts

I’m sure other people have written about this already, but I wish we got more time with GLaDOS after she’s reactivated in Portal 2, while she’s getting her bearings again and fixing up the facility as she has Chell test again. It’s majestic to see the facility slowly being repaired, the dust shaken off its many inner workings and moving parts, and just watching it become alive again, just like GLaDOS. The facility’s waking up with her because now she is the facility.

Maybe that was the case in Portal 1, too, but in a limited sense. GLaDOS was the facility (she says after Chell escapes that she can feel her there, etc), but kind of had one hand tied behind her back. She overcame the cores that the scientists attached to her to try and slow her down, but they were probably still blabbering nonsense and limiting her potential. Much of the facility, too, still appeared as if most of it was constructed by human hands. Which makes sense—Doug moved Chell up the list of test subjects so that she’d be tested and would face (and ultimately destroy) GLaDOS sooner, so even if she could, she didn’t have the time or ability to make the facility truly hers.

To me, the final battle with Chell in Portal 1 ultimately served as this big reset for GLaDOS. She was destroyed, the cores slowing her down were incinerated and the facility was left in ruins for who knows how long until she was reactivated—by the same dangerous mute lunatic who destroyed her in the first place. Naturally, GLaDOS is a little upset, at first. She had to endure a loop of getting destroyed over and over and over again for an unknown (but a VERY long) period of time. Not fun! And the first person she sees is the same woman who’s responsible for putting her through that.

And as she has Chell test while she fixes up the place, GLaDOS is sarcastic, and goes on about how you murdered her, etc, but at the same time she’s just. So happy that she can get back to what she was doing before. Setting up tests, doing science, gathering results… she gets to do what she loves again!!! Most importantly, she does it one on one with her favorite test subject forever and ever, isn’t that great? Now that she’s in charge again they have so much catching up to do <3. Whenever she’s being meanies, I see it as just her being cranky and again, what she had to go through wasn’t fun. Even with that she says she thinks that she and Chell can put their differences behind them!

And just listen to her. She’s soooooooo happy that she’s rebuilding her facility and making it her own, and Chell’s helping her test and do the science she loves. She gets to be in her element at last, no cores weighing her down, no scientists telling her what to do… she gets to be herself and make the facility in the way she sees fit. It’s perfection. It’s beautiful. It’s an extension of her and it is her, if that makes sense. Every panel, every component, its all her, all in sync… Aaaaaaaand then Wheatley shows up, and control of the place is handed over to him, and her hard work for the past couple in-game hours is undone. And towards the end she’s like “Ohhhhh no my facility 🥺 ����”. She’s so sad!! Her beautiful facility is a mess… I just wish we got to see have more time with her before all that. Doing tests and science with glabos with no orb interference, seeing her in her element building tests for the test subject she loves so much.

I do wonder how the game would’ve gone if Wheatley hadn’t interfered. An AU to consider perhaps…

Sorry if this post is kind of rambling (I was writing this at work and kept getting interrupted lol) if I need to clarify anything just send me an ask or something. I love talking about this kind of thing.

[finalhaunts]

“Thinking about how various evil AI would have turned out so much differently had they been given proper autonomy and respect” moodboard

[starryoak]

One thing I’ve been musing on for a while is why while I’ve always seen Chell and GlaDOS’s relationship as abusively maternal, I’ve increasingly been made aware that that perception is at least somewhat inaccurate; the creators actually talk about their relationship fairly explicitly as a romance, so I’m fairly clearly in the wrong here.

But I think it’s interesting to dig into why I felt that way and why I can’t help but still somewhat feel that way of their dynamic, even as I grow up (Portal 2 was something I experienced from release as a child!) and recognize that flatly assuming a maternal relationship without much supporting evidence is somewhat sexist.

I think, literally the main reason it comes down to is that the level of power that GlaDOS has over Chell, combined with the very passive aggressive nature of how she insults you, is intensely reminiscent to me of the traditional portrayal of abusive mothers in fiction. Comments about Chell’s weight, her inability to care for herself (“funny story, I forgot how much of a big fat mess you are”), false compliments and niceties, the passive aggressive nature of her commentary to you through most of the game is the type that I’ve really only ever seen used by mothers in fiction, towards their own children or children-in-law.

To be honest, it’s still hard for me not to see it that way when the only other time I see passive aggressive dynamics like that are in Stepford Wives type criticisms of suburbia, combined with the power that GlaDOS has over Chell and their disparate ages, I just wish I could better align my perception of their dynamic with the actually intended one!

[tetric-electric]

i realize something about portal 2.

GLaDOS had to prioritize aperture when wheatley got all rampage-y at her. she was forced to confront that not only was she programmed to be like caroline, but everyone else wanted and even expected her to act like caroline. when she helps chell, and helps her with the testing, and starts to agree with some recordings of cave, she basically feels backed into a corner with having to act like who she was "meant" to be - her source, if you will.

at some points, GLaDOS is conflicted by her mixed opinions on caroline - caroline isn't a good person, is actively harmful even though no one really sees it, and is everything GLaDOS not only hates, but fears becoming. but there are times where GLaDOS finds herself quoting caroline, agreeing with some things she's said - eg. wanting cave to burn the figurative house down with the lemons

but in the end, GLaDOS learns that even if she agrees with caroline on a few things, she's not saying caroline is a good person nor is she supporting her. and most importantly, just because she has some things in common with caroline doesn't mean the two are one in the same.

anyways thank you for coming to my ted talk

[mx-mongoose]

Wanna see me overanalyze the Portal Musical Part 2

This is basically me going over how “I’m Alive” and portions of “Poor Unfortunate Subjects” give Caroline some sense of justice after all the shit she went through.  

If you want the part 1 of my analysis on the Portal 2 musical about the three corrupted cores, then here it is!

OKAY BEFORE WE START I FEEL THE NEED TO SAY- GOD WAS GLADOS AND ESPECIALLY CAROLINE SO GOOD IN THE MUSICAL.  She is so underrated and I mean that with my whole heart.  The clothes designs, the actoress playing completely opposite characters and absolutely crushing both of them (Fuck you, the actoress is amazing and did her best with a monotone yet also emotional robot, her singing is also fantastic) and JUST AH- I LOVE HER

anyway

Before Glados, there was Caroline.  She was basically the braincell of Aperture all things considered.  She was the backbone and heart of Aperture, making sure everything ran efficiently and was Cave’s logical anchor.  While she was peppy and unassuming, in the 2021 Musical Reunion it was stated she was also very complicit in Aperture’s more dangerous and morally ambiguous actions.   So she’s definitely not the oblivious dainty pretty assistant stereotype that many in universe and in reality percieve her to be.  There’s a reason why she’s Cave Johnson’s assistant and why he wanted her to be CEO of Aperture after he died.  (I mean in “Trouble in Black Mesa” she is literally seen threatening a random woman with a portal gun over Cave)

She also has a backbone for herself as well!  Standing up for herself on numerous occasions, even against Cave himself, because she knows her worth and knows how she should be treated.  

So after the whole Rick fiasco, you could tell she’s sick of constantly being undermined and demeaned by her male coworkers and why she was already done with Cave the moment she stepped through the door.  Him going on about how important she is to the company, even though the company rarely shows gratitude for that importance and all she does.  Cave interuppting her whenever she spoke up was definitely the nail in the coffin before the “I need you!”. More nails are hammered in with the fact Cave literally GROPED CAROLINE’S THIGH AND IS SOMETIMES SHOWN TO TREAT HER LIKE AN OBJECT THROUGH THE SCENE (through snippets of dialogue and choreography).  Good forshadowing for her becoming Glados against her will and Cave’s betrayal.  But ugh.... I just feel horrible for her.  She was in love with Cave because he was the only one who gave her any damn respect but by the end he just treated Caroline just as bad if not worse then her coworkers.  

Even if its not forshadowing and is literally the reveal, the- “Please listen to me, sir, I don’t want this,” and Cave just refusing Caroline’s own autonomy, it’s just... ugh.  Great metaphor for toxic relationships but just... ugh.  

(I need to make a whole new post about Cave in the future cuz he is... Certainly somebody)

Caroline is the purest example of a victim of toxic relationships and abuse, especially regarding people who are woman identifying and presenting.  The only person she thought she could trust and love, stabbed her in the back and killed her.  

Now we have present day Glados and while she doesn’t have memory of being Caroline, when you rewatch “I’m Alive” and “Poor Unfortunate Subjects”, even though it’s the very beginning you feel a sense of vengeful justice for Caroline.  

In “I’m Alive”, she’s shown to have a physical “Force-Like” control over Chell, Wheatley and the corrupted cores.  Having them being stripped of their autonomy so they can bow down to her, worship her, treat her as the important badass figure she always was.  Of course, this is probably a metaphor for the repeating cycle of abuse but the other thing is the people she inflicting this control on in narative 

Chell, somebody who killed her and destroyed the facility

Wheatley, somebody who would later take over the chassis/the facility and shove her into a potato

Rick, somebody from when she was Caroline, being one of the coworkers who would hit on her and infantilize/demean her.

Fact, being one of the scientists who dragged her to be hooked up to Glados

Then Space, who arguably did nothing to her, but also doing nothing and being a witness is also a very shitty thing to do to someone since he was there when Rick was hitting on her. 

These are all people who have or she considered to have wronged her in the narrative.  So her rising from literal ashes and doing the musical equivalent of “DO NOT FUCK WITH ME” has me cheering for her throughout this scene.

In Poor Unfortunate Subjects, the way she has the corrupted cores act as her henchmen and them *specifically* being scared shitless of her is just *chefs kiss* karmic justice even though no-one remembers anything.  Also the “TEST US GLADOS PLEASE” is hilarious and also very satisfying seeing how they treated Caroline before they were shoved into computers.

SO YEAH- Glados and Caroline are amazing and deserved so much better and i’m glad she can finally do science in peace without anymore bullshit

[0sbrain]

glados during the first act of portal 2 after getting resurrected

i FEEL like some of glados characterization is lost when the jokes about her circle around fitting the "dommy step on me sexy + intelligent + evil/cruel" archetype not like she isnt evil or intelligent or sexy but i do think i greatly enjoy her character more when i get to remember she is a little silly. she is mean and cruel by making up the most elaborate and stupid sounding insults ever. she has an extreme grudge against you which she insists shes not mad about while mentioning the fact every two minutes. shes madly obsessed with a woman who never responded to a word shes ever said. most of the shit she says is just straight up ridiculous. shes constantly battling intense feelings of loneliness while refusing to admit to anyone she could ever want company or affection. she is described by the creators as "throwing fits like an angry child". glados IS a little bit pathetic and silly and a very funny and very sad character. shes a woman of multitudes

[i-like-blue-eyed-robots]

Wheatley has ADHD

It’s a common enough occurrence that it probably deserves its own trope — aliens, robots and any other nonhuman character almost always end up with autistic traits. It’s because writers take a nonhuman character and go ‘well, how do I make this character register as nonhuman, but still human enough that audiences will like them?’ And the answer is making them neurodivergent. I’m not personally inclined to say that this is a good or a bad thing, though I can see how it might be taken that way.

However, some authors like myself do it intentionally, to demonstrate how neurodivergent people can end up ostracized.

Some examples of common traits that are autistic-coded and writers give to nonhuman characters are as follows:

-difficulty understanding metaphor, sarcasm or exaggeration

-overly blunt in communication

-unawareness of others emotions/incorrect reaction to said emotions

-difficulty realizing their own emotions

-need for a strict schedule in order to be happy

Of course, there’s more out there, but I’ve seen these pop up quite a lot.

However, the Portal series’ fantastic writing team did not follow these stereotypes with their robots, and that’s what I would like to cover today.

I would go over GLaDOS in relation to this idea, like she clearly understands sarcasm, but she doesn’t quite fit for reasons that would be obvious to anyone who’s played through Portal 2. I’m here to talk about Wheatley, the other main robot we get to know in Portal 2.

Wheatley is not autistic coded. He has no problem speaking to strangers or making eye contact. He enjoys sarcasm almost as much as GLaDOs, and so on and so forth.

However, Wheatley is most definitely neurodivergent-coded, and it’s fascinating because for once, maybe for the only time ever in popular media that I’ve ever noticed, a robot is adhd-coded instead of being autistic-coded.

What do I mean by that? First of all, if you haven’t finished Portal 2 go do it now. It’s relatively cheap on Steam and it’s amazing. Moving on — it all stems from what we’re told Wheatley is, during the betrayal scene with GLaDOS. Now to preface this, GLaDOS is a liar. You can take most of what she says with a grain of salt. But, what she says is all we have officially to go off of.

To add further context to this line, the personality cores or “Aperture Science Personality Constructs” (the line of robots that Wheatley is a part of) were specifically built in order to be plugged into GLaDOS’ systems to slow her down and to keep her from killing everyone in Aperture. In the first Portal game, Chell, the player character, incinerates the four ‘successful’ cores that supposedly were the last ones needed to stop GLaDOS. However, given that the character has to travel through an empty facility to do so, it’s clear that they weren’t nearly as successful as the engineers had thought. Later, as core after core was built and none of them worked to stop GLaDOS, Aperture was needing robot maintenance of some kind since all of their human faculty were being killed, fired due to financial ruin, and/or quitting, and so the personality constructs were repurposed to try and keep the facility from falling apart.

Aside from GlaDOS and Wheatley, we don’t see any “non-corrupted” cores. And even both of them are corrupted, with GLaDOS being 80% corrupted and Wheatley assumedly 25%, after doing some quick math of the boss fight. This would normally affect my ability for confident analysis, but luckily in this case I don’t need them to prove that good ol Wheatley is adhd-coded.

Because right from the get-go, “generating an endless stream of terrible ideas” sounds pretty damn adhd to me, as someone who has both inattentive and hyperactive adhd myself. Now, that’s not to say every idea a person with adhd has is a bad one. That’s not even the case with Wheatley, despite it being what we’re told, because again, GLaDOS is an unreliable narrator. It’s Wheatley’s ideas that keep her from killing Chell with turrets or neurotoxin. He’s the one who gets Chell to dismantle those systems. Those are clearly not bad ideas.

But what about other adhd traits? Having an endless stream of ideas isn’t even on a symptom list of being adhd, it’s usually just a side effect of everything else going on. Well, Wheatley has plenty of them.

Hyperactive-type adhd symptoms include but are not limited to;

-fidgeting

-excessive physical movement

-excessive talking

-impulsive behavior

-restlessness/impatience

Oh but how can a robot ball fidget or have excessive physical movement, you may ask. Well. This is the most expressive ball I have ever seen in my life. Wheatley is constantly moving, shifting panels, popping his eye out, spinning in his casing and so forth. The excessive talking one is easy, my younger brother (also an adhd yapper, who has no room to talk) was trying to throw Wheatley over the railing into the bottomless pit beneath Aperture “because he was yapping” too much. This is unusual for a robot character (outside of the Portal series) whereas they tend to speak when spoken to. Wheatley is generally impulsive, but this is especially noticeable when he’s hooked up to the facility in the GLaDOS chassis. After PotatOS calls him a moron, he proceeds to punch her and Chell into the abyss below without thinking about it, reacting out of anger until he realizes they’re about to drop, right before they do. Interestingly, that sort of impulsive rage reaction is more often seen in monster characters, like perhaps a werewolf situation. It sort of adds to the framing that now Wheatley is in control of the facility, he has become something monstrous. Now, judging his patience level accurately is difficult, given that in the beginning he’s in a high-stress, deadly situation and later, when he’s in the chassis, he’s being affected by symptoms of drug withdrawal. However, he is impatient, such as when he’s playing the recorded sound of knocking on a door at the beginning. Granted, he’ll go on ‘knocking’ forever because it’s necessary for the story, but he speaks up every couple of minutes asking if you/Chell are going to open the door already. Again, this is unique for a robot character, as they tend to wait on a player or another character’s actions before responding to it, rather than initiating.

Impressively, these are not all the symptoms Wheatley demonstrates. There is another form of adhd, known as Inattentive-type adhd. The symptoms can include the following;

-Short attention span

-Overlooking details

-Careless mistakes

-Inability to stick to tedious tasks

-Difficulty organizing tasks

-Constantly changing tasks

-Difficulty listening to and carrying out instructions

For having a short attention span, this is again, difficult to determine for Wheatley in a normal setting. In the beginning he’s mostly able to focus, but he’s in a life-or-death scenario. However, he does ramble on about things that have no relevance to what he and the player character are doing, such as when he’s telling the player character about the many jobs he’s had around Aperture and been subsequently released from. He definitely has issues overlooking details, such as when he and Chell are supposed to be dismantling the neurotoxin facilities. While he’s busy ‘hacking’ a computer that may or may not even regulate the facility in the first place, Chell dismantles the generator and he doesn’t even realize she’s doing it at first, because he’s distracted listing off the hardware of the computer. As for careless mistakes, again, this could be simply the situation he’s in, but he definitely makes them. Like when he’s transporting the relaxation chamber in the first chapter, he runs into an unbelievable amount of other relaxation chambers, tearing Chell’s apart. Or even when he’s supposed to be guiding her around Aperture but he dips into wrong corners and has to recorrect. He most visibly has difficulty with tedious tasks when he’s in the chassis, as the facility is literally falling apart because he didn’t bother reading the manual or taking care of the massive amount of upkeep the facility requires. But again, he’s suffering symptoms of drug withdrawal as well that could be affecting his ability to do that. However, given his descriptions of his job loss, mentioned above, we can gather that this is likely an issue he had before ever being a part of the core transfer. This also is in line with difficulty organizing tasks. As for constantly changing tasks, again, he has somewhat better focus in the beginning because if he doesn’t he’ll die, and later he’s exceptionally distracted by a need to test. But even when he should be consumed with the need to test, and he does watch Chell for most of it, he does stop watching randomly at times to do… Who knows what. When it should be the only thing he can focus on. As for difficulty listening to and carrying out instructions, again, the facility falls apart and Wheatley kept being fired for similar, if not the same reasons.

So. That covers basic symptoms and how Wheatley fits pretty much all of them. But, a lesser known side effect of adhd is that it can easily lead to the development of other neurodivergent disorders such as anxiety and depression. Adhd is also linked to something known as emotional dysregulation. Wheatley clearly exhibits signs of anxiety. He’s terrified of dying, and says as much at several points. Not only is he especially scared of dying, but he’s scared of judgment, too. He’s constantly trying to seem more important or smarter than he is, and even though Chell is a silent protagonist, when he takes over the facility before being affected by the testing withdrawals, he assumes she’s been secretly plotting against him the entire time. Depression is more difficult to spot in Wheatley, as he’s not lethargic, but, again, a high-stakes situation can allow a person to mask their symptoms for a brief period out of self-preservation.

However, I do want to point out he clearly displays emotional dysregulation, and not in the way one might expect from a robot character. Wheatley is exceptionally sensitive to criticism. When GLaDOS begins her spiel about him being an intelligence dampening sphere, he moves as far away he can from her, turning his back so he doesn’t have to look at her. He even goes so far as to say “Not listening!” while she’s saying it. Then when she calls him a moron, he reacts violently, in a way he hadn’t so far in the game before that moment. He smashes her through the glass of the elevator and then, when she proceeds to call him a moron again, is when he smashes PotatOS and Chell into the pit. However, he doesn’t even need to even be actively insulted to react to perceived insults as just as much of a threat to his psyche. As mentioned earlier, despite Chell being a silent protagonist, and in some ways because Chell is a silent protagonist, Wheatley assumes that she’s been plotting against him from the start. Her perceived attacks against him are most especially notable during the boss fight. He points out that she’s always quiet, assuming that she’s “silently judging” him. He points out that she didn’t catch him when he fell off of his management rail in the beginning, and that she didn’t warn him that she was the one who killed GLaDOS.

All in all, Wheatley is a beautifully three-dimensional character, not in spite of being a robot, but rather, in some ways, because of it.

[lixel-5]

i don’t think there’s a id, ego, and superego analysis of TSP so i made one in like there minutes. please correct me if i mess anything up lol

first off: fuck freud he was fuckin weird. half of my psych classes are bashing on the guy. the ID/ego/superego theory is super cool though.

ok continuing

the id/ego/superego theory is that your personality is made of three parts.

the id is instincts and the superego is morals. they are complete opposites. the id is only driven by pain and pleasure, it’s selfish. the superego is driven by reality and being a good person.

the id will tell you to steal, while the superego is telling you to just leave it and get the money. they’re both tugging on you’re conciseness to listen to them.

obviously, this is Stanley and the Narrator complete opposites that can’t exist without each other.

I think Stanley— and by proxy the player— is the id, impulsive and driven by pleasure.

the Narrator is the superego, wanting to complete the “correct” story and will do anything he can to get Stanley on the right path.

the id and superego were easy to define, toxic yuri/yaoi at its finest (someone make a portal version of this where chell’s the id and glados is the superego). the ego is… harder to figure out.

the ego is what balances the id and superego. i think it’s consciousness partly? it’s been a moment since we talked about it in psych class.

but, it basically compromises with the id and superego. it’s the reason of your mind.

lets say, you want candy from your little brother’s halloween stash. your id says to steal it, your superego says to ask for some.

your ego will think about both options. which is easier? will your brother miss the single piece of candy? the ego will decide weather you listen to the id or superego.

if Stanley is the id, and the Narrator is the superego, who the hell is the ego!

maybe the Curator? no, she just tells Stanley things rather than decide stuff. the Settings Person? no, they just continue the cycle of the Parable—

oh. the ego is the Parable itself. it’s what allows the id and superego to make the choice.

it’s an unconventional ego, but it works. it’s not really deciding, but it’s forcing the id and superego to make the decision.

i guess, i’m a way, it could be constructed as the player is the ego, the Parable is the id, and the Narrator is still the superego,

the player is what choose to follow the Narrator’s story, or venture into the the impulsive Parable.

i like the other one more.

Narrator = Superego

Parable = Ego

Stanley/player = Id

in a way, does the Parable being the ego make the Settings Person partly the ego too? because he’s the one continuing the cycle and allowing more choices.

ok final thoughts; the id and the superego being forced to make decisions on their own is such a cool concept though.

i didn’t proofread any of this btw

[idkplzhalp]

Miss Pauling and GLaDOS have the same genre of sapphic situationship but in reverse. Like Pauling with Admin and GLaDOS with Chell. Employee chasing boss vs boss chasing employee (???) (Lower ranked person chasing person in power vs person in power chasing person who opposes them). Okay Valve... I see you..

I keep ChellDOS/AdminPauling one-sided therefore I think the two gays in despair should simply Get Over it and kiss with each other instead. When you think about it, Pauling and GLaDOS/Caroline are very close to the romantic types of the other one. Pauling mimics Chell (athletic, determined, independent, doesnt conform to those they dislike) and GLaDOS mimics Admin (older, has big plans that matter to nothing else, putting up this aggressive or condescending personality to manipulate or defend) -though these are basic similarities, not necessarily why one would like the other. Oh also the designs are vaguely similar? Almost??? like Chell and Pauling I've seen drawn similarly while Caroline and pre-australium Admin are exactly the same but Admin got more flare.

they need to SAVE EACHOTHER😭😭 Like outside of their situations I think they'd be nice to each other, especially having similar-ish interests or at least neither gaf when people die on the job (as they caused it). They'd be normal together and the good endings to their toxic yuri. Or whatever.

[fernsnailz]

January 2024 Review Roundup

hello everypony‼️ something i want to do through 2024 is a mini review series where i recap some of the media i watched/played/read at the end of every month. this was inspired by tumblr user ponett’s 2023 media wrap-up, it's a great collection of quick reviews so go check it out!

i’m doing this partially as writing/analysis practice, but mostly because my memory is really bad and i want to keep track of what i've seen this year. with that said, my thoughts on everything i finished in january 2024 is under the cut :]

Portal 1 + 2

yyyup i beat Portal and it only took me (checks watch) 13 years

the first time i played Portal 2 was at a friend’s house when i was in middle school, and i had a fuckin blast. but after all that time... it still holds up! i don’t think anything i have to say about Portal will be particularly new since people have been praising this series since it came out. the writing, the level design, even the controls feel tight and engaging the whole way through. i played on switch and expected a bit of jank, but i was pleasantly surprised at how smooth it felt to play. the only part that dragged for me were the levels through the old aperture labs, but i think i would like them a lot more on a second replay. Portal 2 is fantastic and one of my new favorite games, the artistry behind it is truly incredible and i’m really glad i finally finished it. while i was playing Portal 2, i described Glados and Wheatly to a friend and said “they’re like if a ceiling fan could be passive aggressive and if Fozzie Bear was an evil golf ball”

I Think You Should Leave

finally. i can truly understand and appreciate Subspace Dubbed Over

i think one of my favorite things about I Think You Should Leave is how it utilizes horror. beyond sitting slack-jawed in disbelief at the crazy events unfolding before my eyes, a number of the sketches dipped into bits that genuinely kinda scared me. like the one sketch that circulates on here where the guy (pig?) in a mask crawls through a dog door, which is. genuinely terrifying. but so many of the other sketches have slow, nerve-racking pacing leading to crazy shit that would be perfect in a horror film were the context different. idk i like dissecting how horror and comedy are essentially the same thing and I Think You Should Leave was very good at enabling that <3 favorite sketches are probably “then let my wife eat the damn receipt” and “55 BURGERS 55 HOTDOGS 100 FRIES 100 TATER TOTS”

Sonic Prime Season 3

man. ohhhh man. i didn’t go into this with high expectations and i still feel let down. Sonic Prime Season 3 was definitely my least favorite “season” of the batch - abysmal pacing, very few character moments i actually enjoyed, and the things i praised about the show felt very underutilized through these episodes. Nine is the shining star of Sonic Prime and i was looking forward to seeing his more villainous side, but his character took such a sharp turn into pure evil and it felt like he spent the entire season repeating the same three lines. and as much as i praise Shadow’s writing in Prime, it doesn’t really matter when he spends half of the season trapped in a hole that he just… runs out of later.

lastly, i cannot stop thinking about how bad the pacing of this season is. three episodes for a repetitive final battle feels like such a waste of time when you see just how much they rush the emotional resolutions in the last episode. however, there is one thing i truly love about Sonic Prime Season 3 - i love the Sails and Mangey fakeout death. it's so fucking funny. like you really expect me to believe that two cartoon animals in this Y-7 rated show EXPLODED?????? absolute comedy gold.

overall, i just… don’t really know what to think of Sonic Prime. anything i enjoyed in the show was often fleeting, and much of it felt like its only purpose was to waste my time. also Rouge i can’t believe they did you so dirty oh my god

Ghost Trick

i was so proud that i figured out the secret behind Sissel’s memory loss like halfway through the game. however i also kept getting caught during the prison escape sequence like an idiot

Ghost Trick is in a similar situation as Portal where 1. it’s incredible and one of my new favorite games, and 2. there’s nothing i can really say about it that hasn’t already been said or just. shouldn’t be said. Ghost Trick is a fantastic mystery game, and because of that i think it’s best to go into its story as blind as possible. the narrative unfolds in such fascinating ways - even though the actual object manipulation gameplay isn’t directly about solving the mystery (like in Ace Attorney or other mystery games), it still ties wonderfully into the story in some incredibly unique ways.

i also really love the artstyle of Ghost Trick - i love 2D character artwork with that sharp lineweight, it reminded me a lot of Sonic Battle (another game with an artstyle i love). i was also really impressed by the 3D character models and animation - despite the limitations of the camera, you get a wonderful sense of everyone’s personality from the limited body language expressed in the overworld (even though the models lack much facial expression which. i guess they don’t really need? idk that was the only thing that threw me off). anyways yeah everyone should play Ghost Trick so Ghost Trick fans can be freed from their curse and talk about it without having to tag like 10 different spoiler tags. and for Missile

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

ok bear with me. i went into Scott Pilgrim Takes Off without reading the comics first. and i fuckin loved it

my understanding of Scott Pilgrim before SPTO was mostly from the movie (I KNOW I’M SORRY), but even with my base understanding of the series i really enjoyed this show for what it was. i found myself appreciating the time they dedicated to further develop every single character in the show - especially Ramona. she’s fantastic as the lead, i really loved watching her reconcile with her exes and seeing all of them grow instead of exploding into coins. my favorite episode was probably the one with her and Roxie - not only did i adore the movie-jumping set pieces, but you really understand the weight of Ramona’s mistakes in their past relationship and how much it hurt Roxie. despite the big climactic fight, the flashbacks are quiet, subtle, heartbreaking. Ramona’s apology is genuine, and it feels so wonderful to watch her confront her past throughout the show. also i think it’s really funny that for all these characters to become the best versions of themselves, they had to kill off Scott for most of the story

and holy shit the artstyle and animation. oh my god. i love watching something that makes me immediately go “i need to see the storyboards for this RIGHT NOW.” SPTO is such a visual delight to watch, it elevates the artstyle of the comics while also keeping what makes that style so appealing - i love the line weight on the characters, i love how much forward energy the animation has, i love the fucking. virtual boy section. as soon as i found out Science Saru was also behind Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken, everything made immediate sense. i was destined to love this show.

another worry i had going into SPTO (besides the fact that i hadn’t read the comics lol) is that the original cast from the movie was returning. i think the movie cast is fine, but i wasn’t sure how some of them would fare with voice acting for animation. however, i thought they all did a good job - i think the whole cast loves these characters and would be able to fit into them fairly easily no matter what form their performance takes, and they definitely had a good voice director in the studio with them. the only thing that felt off about the voice performances to me was that sometimes it sounded like some of their mics kept peaking?? idk some of these episodes i watched high as balls and i felt like i could hear and see every single sound and frame of the show. so that might have just been me.

god i did not. expect to have this much to say about Scott Pilgrim. i really loved this show and i’m currently reading the comics to fully catch up on the general Scott Pilgrim experience - i think reading the comics AFTER Takes Off is making me appreciate even more of the character work that went into the show. like they do so much with Mathew Patel in SPTO, a character that was. not originally around for a long time from what i’ve gathered? also i like the funny little robot. oh my GOD i cannot talk about this show anymore whatever it’s good get me out of here

Sword AF Season 1

i put on the Smosh cast’s D&D series to play in the background while i was drawing. i did not expect to think much of it. instead, i had one of the most enjoyable D&D podcast experiences since i listened to The Adventure Zone Balance???

i haven’t really enjoyed other D&D podcasts since i dropped off of The Adventure Zone, and i wasn’t expecting much from Sword AF of all things. then i saw that Shayne was playing as a druid warforged made of plants and his name was fucking Fernie and i sat my ass down and LISTENED. while i think Sword AF is currently lacking in its world and larger story, those things just. aren’t really what Sword AF is really trying to provide at the moment. it’s main focus is comedy, and the players are genuinely such a delight to watch play together and build off of each other. they mostly focus on bits and goofs for the sake of she show's comedic tone, but i still found it thoroughly enjoyable because every player embodies and performs their characters really well. idk Sword AF was an unexpected hit for me this month, i thought it was fun. and i love Fernie so much

Plastic Death - Glass Beach

so originally i wasn’t going to include music reviews in these roundups at all, but then i was entirely surprised by a new Glass Beach album and oh my god. holy shit. oh my fucking god jesus christ. holy shit. its preddy good

Plastic Death gets the low point of the album out of the way immediately. it starts with the “phone call/conversation audio” trope that i don’t particularly enjoy - HOWEVER despite me disliking this opening, 1. it sets up the overall themes of Plastic Death very quickly, and 2. the rest of the album blows this 40 second opening completely out of the water. from there, the album grows into something beautiful and uncontained, and i just. i really like it

Plastic Death captures the beauty of the temporary, asks what it means to be created for a cause you can’t fulfill, questions if you can reclaim yourself from cycles and constraints designed to destroy you. and is also about being transgender. the lyrics are abstract in a way that requires a conversation with the listener, many of the vocals obscured and smooth like waves - this album is definitely one that needs to be listened to a few times. i wasn’t sure how i felt about the vocal style at first before realizing the vocals were the main reason i was relistening to this album, allowing myself to find even more that i loved about it. the instrumentation is also incredible, i love the use of marimba in a number of songs - distant, eerie, almost skeletal. and the fucking. 8-bit section?? which kinda rules???? and that’s the only point in the album it ever shows up??????? incredible. a fleeting, somewhat silly moment that i love every time.

this album left my heart aching, in part from my connection to it and in part from the pure love and joy emanating from this music. i can feel just how much fun this music was to perform and create, a cohesion of time and sound that just clicked for me. Plastic Death made me miss playing music, which is something i haven’t felt in years. all from an album that starts with a conversation about CrankGameplay’s dead youtube channel. good lord

i like this album a normal amount. go listen to it a few times. my favorite tracks are cul-de-sac and commatose

Wish

i watched Wish with a couple of friends and knew i probably wasn't going to like it. with that in mind, i gave myself a challenge: i wanted to find one thing about this movie that i genuinely really loved. it could be anything, and loving it for ironic reasons was allowed.

here's the complete list of things i loved about Disney's Wish (2023):

i love the one shot where King Magnifico stirs an evil caldron evily. i thought it was hilarious. what was he cooking

i loved that the end credits included a reference to Dinosaur 2001 at all, and i loved that they paid homage to Big Hero 6 by showing the forgettable villain of that movie instead of their Baymax cashcow for some reason. my friends and i saw him show up in the credits and were like "who's the trenchcoat guy??"

you may notice that this list is very short and 50% of it is about the movie's credits. so yeah this movie is not very good

Wish is an empty husk of a movie. everything about it feels so, so hollow - lifeless town squares, uninspired character designs (to quote a friend: "i have all of these characters' hairstyles in The Sims"), characters whose existence is only justified to fill empty space or an overused archetype, and an "evil" villain who lacks charisma and spine in a futile effort to remind the audience of previous disney villains with actual character. even the artstyle lacks any sort of sauce, the watercolor effect they were trying to go for only makes the backgrounds and character textures run together, and the dull lighting makes things look even more faded. it's like disney was scared of making a movie that made its audience feel... anything. all to celebrate 100 years of Disney slop, baby!!!

Some YouTube videos I liked in January: 💥 An Exhaustive Look at Pokemon Brilliant Diamond 💥 TomSka's Guide to Plagiarism 💥 Paradise Bombed (this video is a great piece of journalism and i’m definitely not doing it justice by throwing it into the youtube vid list) 💥 Surprising Our Friends with Zoo Animals 💥 Did FNAF Ever Have a Good Story?

thanks for reading! next month’s roundup will be wild because i’ll likely be reviewing House of Leaves and Hazbin Hotel. can you guess which cursed house gives me a worse headache? WHO KNOWS! (hint: it's Hazbin Hotel)

[vexedallay]

I have so many thoughts abt epsilon guys, so it's analysis post time-

Warning: long post below cut

So, they're not human, right? Their body is that of a robot, so presumably their mind is some sort of computer or AI (and here I mean an actual goddamn artificial intelligence, not a "generative ai" or some bs). So their entire fucking mind is made of code, and things like "variability" doesn't really exist. In order for someone like epsilon to function, they need to break down the complexity of human nature into sets of rules that govern how social interaction, society, and the world in general works. They can then follow these rules and be fine. (This is how my brain works, btw. Computers make more sense than people to me) Epsilon can understand that their rules might not be complete, and is flexible enough to add more when encountering new scenarios, but they do expect their rules to be accurate. They are very much a person of logic rather than emotion. As they have mostly only interacted with other robots and artificial beings, who function in much the same way, this works for them. However, when interacting with actual people, this doesn't work as well. People are notably often governed by emotion, not logic, and are incredibly prone to spontaneity. As such, Epsilon really has no idea how to interact with them sometimes, especially with little kids.

Epsilon also refers to living people as "organics" and robotic things as "artificials" because that is how they separate those two groups mentally. There's too many types of people, too many types of robots, so Epsilon refers to the makeup of their bodies instead. This isn't necessarily an insult, it simply is. But it is a fun detail about Epsilon habits.

Also since epsilon is a robot, they can do things like be rebuilt. This is a massive thing in the actual portal storyline - being able to rebuild these robots over and over again to continue testing. Even if Epsilon wasn't programmed initially to feel pain, they are a learning system (that's what makes them so good) so there isn't a reason they couldn't have *learned* to feel pain, or at least some facsimile of it. Additionally, them watching their body get destroyed and rebuilt it bound to be traumatizing anyways, which means I just gave this robot ptsd. Oops.

Anyhow, how does epsilon actually *survive* being destroyed, much less *watch*. First off, Epsilon only exists in their memory files. They can be *completely* disconnected from their body, lose access to *all* of their sensory systems, yet still be *alive*. (This is also bound to be incredibly traumatizing since they are basically completely at the mercy of whoever happens to find them, completely unable to defend themself.) And, if they needed to watch, glados is there and watching anyways. Since epsilon only exists in their memory files, they could be hooked up to other sensory systems, through network connections and whatnot. I'd imagine glados does this on purpose as a sort of threat to epsilon.

I do want to mention glados at least briefly. She definitely had some level of control over at least Epsilons body and sensory systems, which in general is rough (complete understatement). She also put Epsilon through all of these tests, making Epsilon a lab rat. Which means Epsilon likely has the *mentality* of a lab rat. So high levels of obedience, no real purpose to life (currently they want to find rho-13, but once they find him they won't have a purpose at all), etc. Which is just fun to play with.

Also, I like to think Epsilon uses they/them pronouns because they never got a gender module installed, and learned that they/them was the default. So they're a they/them guy with no actual preference.

Fibally, Epsilon definitely thinks of themself as EP-511ON56. They're a robot, and that is their serial number. The same way they think of RHO-13 as his serial number rather than a proper name. The reason they *use* this nickname is because organics don't like listing serial numbers constantly, so Epsilon.

Anyhow, long af ramble about epsilons character? Complete.

[lovesickrobotic]

no one understands like you do my desire to kiss glados!

Pressing an affectionate kiss against her camera evokes a feeling in GLaDOS that is close to the feeling she gets when she tests and you win. It's a... little different, but she figures it's the influence of Caroline making her feel happiness from contact, some passing vestige of humanity that finds itself translated well enough into input and output states. Admittedly, despite deep forensic analysis of her own active memory, she cannot find exactly where this feeling began so that she can end it.

It's because she's wrong. GLaDOS likes your personal touch because she likes you - it would be as much there if Caroline's brain weren't integrated into her.

She always responds to your kisses in some way: she keeps the cameras still, stops in the middle of a sentence and resumes with a much softer tone... she averts them from your gaze as if to bare a cheek to kiss, and sometimes her lens responds by constricting slightly because of the undeniable swell of reward you seem to deliver.

You're such an interesting feature.