#GIVE IT TO ME MANGA I WAITED FOR IT SO LONG I MANAGED TO FORGOT ABOUT IT FOR A MOMENT

[rose-of-the-underworld]

What are your favorite shoujo shows? I just started watching anime and would love recommendations.

AAAAAAAAAAAA! First of all, I'm sorry that this took two months to write up, but I am honestly touched that you asked me! Okay, so disclaimer that I wasn't deep into the anime scene until a few years ago (I'm a late bloomer), but shoujo is my bread and butter so to speak, so I'm happy to give some reccs! Note that this isn't ranked in any particular order, it's just as they come to me! Will give a summary and my thoughts on each. Also, most of these anime don't cover the entirety of the story published in their corresponding manga, but they're all a good starting point if you want to dive into reading the rest!

Putting under a read more because I'm more long-winded than I thought I would be

1.) Sailor Moon: The magical action-adventures of a teenage girl who learns of her destiny as the legendary warrior Sailor Moon and must band together with the other Sailor Scouts to defend the Earth and Galaxy.

Had to start with the original!! Now my love for Sailor Moon goes back to before I knew what anime even was. I caught wind of it when I was five years old and it was airing on TV for the first time, but I adored the show and my Princess Serenity doll. Now, please note that I really did not absorb much outside of the aesthetics and the insane dialogue of the 90s English dub before it stopped airing on tv and I forgot about it for a while, always meaning to get back into it, but never quite managing. Then during 2020 lockdown, my good friend and Sailor Moon expert @pollyannaisms started streaming little watch parties of Sailor Moon Crystal and boy did I fall in love all over again. I'm so happy that it came back into my life when I needed it most, tbh. It really is such a hopeful and optimistic series with some of the most lovely female friendships, one of the most beautiful and romantic love stories I've ever seen, and wonderful messages about loving yourself.

If you want a more streamlined plot with less episodes, I recommend starting with Sailor Moon Crystal since it follows the manga very closely and it's relatively short. 39 episodes across three seasons and then four movies - Sailor Moon Eternal parts 1&2 and Sailor Moon Cosmos part 1&2. Cosmos is FINALLY being released internationally on August 24th and I can't wait to finally see it, I've been rotting for it.

Now, the original 90s anime is also fantastic, it is just incredibly long with I believe 200 episodes and a few movies. It was airing as Naoko Takeuchi was publishing the manga so there's a lot of filler and the monster of the week format can get a little monotonous if you're trying to binge. I would say to take your time with it, but I do believe it's worth the watch because you get some wonderful character development episodes that are absent from Crystal. It's not perfect and there are some....odd choices made, but I do love it. Please note, that if you watch it in English through official streaming services, you'll be seeing a re-dub that Viz did with the Crystal cast when they bought the rights. It's a good dub! But man, I wish I could watch the original 90s English dub more easily (pirating such a long series is kind of an ordeal) because it has some of the funniest dialogue I've ever heard. Lots of people hate it, but I love the nostalgia factor and I personally find it hilarious.

2.) Ouran High School Host Club: Haruhi Fujioka is a studious girl who has recently enrolled at the prestigious Ouran Academy. One day, while looking for a quiet and peaceful place to study, she stumbles across a seemingly unused music room. Upon entering, Haruhi is welcomed by the members of the well-known Host Club: a club in which attractive boys amuse girls from across the entire school. However, when Tamaki Suoh—the founder and president of the club—startles the bright scholarship student, she accidentally breaks an expensive vase.

With repayment looking difficult for Haruhi, the Host Club members come up with the perfect solution to the girl's problem: work for the club and ultimately become a Host herself! Mistaken for a boy by her peers, Haruhi has to entertain various female students while coping with her fellow Hosts' extravagant personalities.

Ouran was the first anime that I ever watched on purpose at age 17, and it is very near and dear to my heart. It does come with some caveats, though. While this was the perfect starter anime for me (the friend who recc'd it knows me very well), it's not a good starter anime for everyone. It is incredibly over the top and is also a parody anime of shoujo romances, so some of the jokes might not land if you're a newbie. While I loved it at first viewing, I found it MUCH funnier when I rewatched it ten years later after having seen much more shoujo anime. Also, please note that Ouran aired in 2006, and while it was very progressive for the early 2000s, there is a lot of outdated terminology when it comes to LGBT topics, so tread with care and know that its heart was in the right place and we've come a long way in the last 20 years.

That being said, this series will always be one of my favorites. Aside from being insanely hilarious (and wildly out of pocket), the show has a lot of heart and characters who all genuinely love each other. It touches on feminism and gender and I credit it with making me bisexual.

3.) Fruits Basket: After a family tragedy turns her life upside down, high schooler Tohru Honda takes matters into her own hands and moves out...into a tent. Unfortunately for her, she pitches her new home on private land belonging to the mysterious Sohma clan, and it isn't long before the owners discover her secret. But, as Tohru quickly finds out when the family offers to take her in, the Sohmas have a secret of their own--when hugged by the opposite sex, they turn into the animals of the Chinese Zodiac.

God. Fruits Basket is everything to me. This was the second anime I ever watched on purpose, recc'd by the same friend who showed me Ouran. She lent me her DVDs of the 2001 anime adaptation when I was 18 and it took me a few months to actually watch it but MAN. When I tell you that I was crying during the finale with my 8 week old kitten on my chest, and then when the 2019 reboot aired their version of the season finale, I was crying AGAIN with the same cat who was at that point 14 lbs and still snuggling on my chest. Full circle. It will never not be good. I would absolutely recommend that you watch the 2019 reboot over the 2001 version because it encompasses the whole story and has the budget for a much higher quality production. The animation is beautiful and I really like the music. The storytelling is phenomenal, thank you, Natsuki Takaya for my life.

Tohru Honda is truly one of my favorite characters of all time. There is so much depth to her, so much kindness and sadness and a heart full of love. She changes the lives of everyone she meets by just loving them unconditionally and has a legion of friends who would do anything for her. This is another story that features the struggle to love yourself, but it is also about the struggle to let others love you as well. The main romance is another top tier love story for me, and all of the side romances are compelling as well. I will warn you that the series deals heavily with familial abuse and with grief. For every laugh and heartwarming moment, there is a punch to the gut right around the corner. But god, it's worth it in the end. Fruits Basket is full of bittersweet moments of catharsis and it never fails to make me insane (affectionate). Fantastic characters and an excellent plot, it's one of the most compelling series I've ever seen.

4.) Kimi Ni Todoke: Sawako Kuronuma has had a difficult time fitting in, due to her shy nature and her similarity in name and appearance to Sadako from The Ring. On her first day of high school, Sawako meets the one boy who treats her like a normal girl-Shota Kazehaya. Through his selfless aid, Sawako slowly learns to come out of her shell and even begins to make friends for the first time in her life. However, with a new social life come social pressures. As she grows into her new identity, Sawako must learn to deal with such pressures as well as start to understand the unfamiliar feelings inside of her, especially in regards to the boy who made her new start possible.

This is probably THEEEEE sweetest thing I've ever seen. I watched it for the first time last year and I was legitimately crying happy tears in episode 1. If this is your first time watching, you're in luck! Season 3 just premiered after a 13 year hiatus! I've only watched an episode and a half so far, and I already love it so much. It has the exact same energy as the first two seasons. Sawako and Kazehaya are too adorable for words, and Sawako's two best friends are wonderful. This series does a great job of handling the real struggles of adolescents while also being full of optimism and love of all sorts.

5.) Kamisama Kiss: newly homeless teenager Nanami Momozono is trying to figure out her next move when she helps a stranger in need. Out of gratitude, he offers Nanami his home, a rundown shrine, and also his job as a land god. Now, Nanami must juggle high school along with the duties of a deity with the help of Tomoe, a reformed fox demon who reluctantly becomes her familiar in a contract sealed with a kiss. As the headstrong Tomoe tries to whip her into shape, Nanami finds that love just might have cute, pointed fox ears. With romance in the air, will the human deity be able to prove herself worthy of her new title?

This series made me CRAZY!!!!!!! Nanami and Tomoe are such a good nuisances to lovers story with a really interesting twist that I genuinely did not see coming! Nanami is adorable and Tomoe is the perfect house husband, I love them so much. This series is such a fun little romp through the supernatural world of gods, demons, and spirits, with an incredibly interesting cast of characters. The anime has two seasons and a few OVAs, but in order to see the latter, you're going to have to search the less than legal sites because they were never licensed internationally. Definitely worth it in my opinion to see the end of the story.

6.) Yona of the Dawn: Sheltered and spoiled Princess Yona is the only heir to the throne of Kouka. Yona's perfect world comes crashing down when a heinous act of treason threatens to erase all that she holds dear, including her birthright as the princess of Kouka. Left with no one to trust but her childhood friend and loyal bodyguard Son Hak, she is forced to flee the palace. Faced with the perils of surviving in the wild with a target on her back, Yona realizes that her kingdom is no longer the safe haven it once was.

Free from the shackles of naivety, Yona vows to do everything in her power to become strong enough to crush her enemies. With Hak by her side, she must piece together the remains of an ancient legend that might be the key to reclaiming her kingdom from those who conspired to steal it from her.

THIS SERIES MADE ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yona of the Dawn honestly ticks all of my boxes -- sheltered princess who needs to learn how to fight, political intrigue, betrayal, heartbreak, ancient magical legends, and a princess/bodyguard romance. The anime (and OVAs) are only a very small part of the story, but it was excellent regardless. The manga is incredibly long and actually just celebrated its 15th anniversary; it's regarded one of the greatest shoujo manga of all time. I had started reading the manga a few years back, and I REALLY need to get back into it, especially since it seems to be inching closer to the end. But if you love action packed fantasy adventures, this is the story for you!

7.) Inuyasha*: Suddenly finding herself in feudal Japan, schoolgirl Kagome teams up with half-demon Inuyasha to retrieve the scattered shards of a sacred jewel.

*Technically, a shounen, but has the vibes of a shoujo. I need you to know that last year when I had covid, I watched 50 episodes of this series and the first movie. And then I was compelled to make the following image:

Inuyasha is a long one so I suggest pacing yourself, but it is so so worth it! This is another action packed fantasy series with awesome characters, fantastic writing, and a heart stopping romance. The creator, Rumiko Takahashi was already an experienced mangaka when she made Inuyasha, and it shows. She's excellent at naturally weaving the romance into the overarching narrative and there's a maturity to her writing that makes this story about young people feel so intense and complex in the best way.

8.) Maid-Sama!: Misaki is class president of a formerly all-male school. A beacon of hope to the female students as well as teachers, she rules over the boys with an iron fist and a heart of ice. A popular male student stumbles on to her secret double life- working part-time as an upbeat and cheery waitress at a maid cafe! Misaki is forced to make a deal: spend some time with him, or have her hard earned reputation destroyed by revealing her embarrassing secret.

I will warn you, there are elements to this anime that have not aged well since its airing in 2010. A lot of it is very feminist in that early 2000s way! But it also includes that early 2000s brand of "problematic" possessive (and maybe a little too inappropriate) love interest and some outdated romance anime tropes. But all in all, I think it's worth a view. I really love Misaki as a character so much, and her relationship with Usui is fun and frustrating and very, very sweet.

9.) My Love Story!!: With his muscular build and tall stature, Takeo Gouda is no ordinary high school freshman. However, behind Takeo's intimidating appearance lies a pure heart of gold. Unfortunately for Takeo, his appearance does not bode well for his love life. As if his looks were not already enough to scare girls away, Takeo's cool, handsome best friend and constant companion Makoto Sunakawa easily, and unintentionally, steals the hearts of the female students—including every girl Takeo has ever liked.

One day, when Takeo saves cute Rinko Yamato from a creep on the train, he falls in love with her instantly. But with handsome Sunakawa around, does Takeo even stand a chance?

It's rare to see a shoujo series with a male protagonist, but Takeo is honestly perfect for the role and deserves everything good in the world. This is such an adorable anime with the sweetest couple on Earth and the best friend that anyone could ever ask for. Takeo and Rinko are both down so bad for each other and they're both adorable, awkward clowns. They were truly meant to be! Takeo's friendship with Sunakawa is also such a vital and lovely part of the series and shows that your platonic relationships are just as important as your romantic ones.

10.) My Little Monster: Shizuku Mizutani is apathetic toward her classmates, only caring about her grades. However, her cold view of life begins to change when she meets Haru Yoshida, a violent troublemaker who stopped attending class after getting into a fight early in the school year. He is not much different from her, though—he too understands little about human nature and does not have any friends. Much to Shizuku's surprise, he proclaims that she will be his friend and immediately confesses his feelings toward her upon meeting her.

Because of her lack of friends and social interaction, Shizuku has a hard time understanding her relationship with Haru. But slowly, their friendship begins to progress, and she discovers that there is more to Haru than violence. She begins to develop feelings for him, but is unsure what kind of emotions she is experiencing. Together, Shizuku and Haru explore the true nature of their relationship and emotions.

This is a story about a boy and a girl who struggle with love and friendship. Opening yourself up to other people forces you to be honest with yourself.

Here's another "problematique" anime that I fell head over heels in love with in spite of certain things that didn't age well. I'm a simple woman, give me a cold girl and a feral boy who are obsessed with each other and don't know how to function in society and I'm sold. While Shizuku and Haru's bizarre, never-on-the-same-page romance is the overarching narrative, an important part of the series is the two of them learning how to make friends and find community with other socially dysfunctional weirdos. The friends that they make are just as interesting as the two of them and are equally important to the story.

This is another series that I highly recommend reading the manga for, since the one season anime doesn't get far enough into the story for a satisfying ending. Shizuku's revelations about herself and her character development in the manga genuinely made me cry, and Haru gets some good development as well. Their relationship progresses in a very sweet way as they work to understand each other and respect boundaries and communicate.

11.) Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun:

Chiyo Sakura is a cheerful high school girl who has fallen head over heels for the oblivious Umetarou Nozaki. Much to Chiyo's confusion, when she confesses to her beloved Nozaki, he hands her an unfamiliar autograph. As it turns out, the stoic teenage boy is actually a respected shoujo manga artist, publishing under a pen name. A series of misunderstandings leads to Chiyo becoming one of Nozaki's manga assistants and befriending many of her quirky schoolmates. This slice of life comedy follows Chiyo as she strives to help Nozaki with his manga and hopes that he will eventually notice her feelings.

I adore this series to the moon and back. Both adorable and absolutely HILARIOUS, Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun, is a wild ride from start to finish. The slow burn to end all slow burns, this ongoing 4-panel, slice of life manga has been ongoing since 2011, yet remains hilarious and so does the one season anime. This is another parody shoujo anime where some jokes might go over your head if you're a beginner, but I think it's easier to digest than Ouran, and would be a fine starter anime. This is another clown4clown romance, but Chiyo and Nozaki aren't the only ones. Their friends are a vibrant cast of characters who tend to fall into classic shoujo manga tropes (though not always in the ways you'd expect) and all have their own incredibly silly and off the wall will-they-won't-they romances.

This is such a fun series that never fails to make me laugh, and often makes me swoon. It's both ridiculous and relatable and you can't help but root for every single character.

And I'll end it there! I have quite a few other series that are near and dear to my heart but these are probably the ones I talk about the most. If you've made it this far, thank you for reading. Anon, I hope that you enjoy your adventures in shoujo anime!

If anyone ever wants to talk about any of these series, my inbox is always open. Seriously, I am always dying to talk about all of these!

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super 069 (nice)

This is Super’s Driver’s Ed episode, basically.

All right, I still haven’t read/watched Dr. Slump, so a lot of these callbacks are lost on me.  Fortunately, there aren’t that many characters to keep track of in this episode.   Dr. Senbei Norimaki, aka “Dr. Slump” is heading to West City to participate in an award ceremony for inventors.  Arale and the Gatchans are excited to go along, but he tells her to stay put and mind the house while he’s gone.  Big mistake.

Bulma’s family is also attending the award ceremony, although we never find out just what her invention was that got her nominated.  It can’t be the time machine, since Beerus destroyed it last episode, so it’s kind of badass that Bulma knocked out at least one other game-changing invention off-screen while the last three or four sagas were going on.

Mr. Satan is the emcee for this thing, and he got Goku a job on the security detail.  He had to wear a suit and fix his hair, but neither of these things last very long, so Goku just gives up and leaves his post.

Senbei is surprised when he wins, almost like he only went to this thing for the free food, but he proudly shows off his prize-winning invention, Reality Machine #2.  It can walk and talk, by the way.  Basically, you direct your thoughts to the machine and it creates your fondest desire, something you’re so passionate about that you’d die for it.

You know, like girlie mags!

Or figurines of yourself!  I feel like the characters in this show lack imagination.

Then Dr. Mashirito, apparently Senbei’s arch-rival, shows up to object to his receiving the award.  Senbei consults the Dr. Slump comics and confirms that Mashirito died years ago.  And he’s right.  Mashirito has returned as a ghost.  In the dub, he even says he broke out of the “Home For Infinite Losers” to protest this ceremony, and how wild is it that we get an HFIL mention in 2016?

But before he came to West City, Dr. Mashirito paid a visit to Penguin Village, where he fed Arale and the Gatchans a secret elixir called “Playtime X”, which makes them even more hyperactive than usual.  His plan is to use Senbei’s own android daughter to wreck the whole place and ruin his big day.  Mr. Satan tries to defuse the situation and gets his ass kicked, so he asks Vegeta to intervene. 

Meanwhile, Goku’s sleeping out on the grounds like a dog.  Goku, you’re the laziest man on Mars.

The Vegeta/Arale fight leads outside, and for a moment it seems like Goku and Arale recognize each other, but they don’t.  Vegeta continues to fight, but Arale beats him like a drum.  Vegeta concludes that this is because she’s a character from an 80′s gag manga, which means her powers aren’t constrained by the laws of physics. What, like Vegeta’s powers are based on reality or something?  I mean, sure, compared to Dr. Slump, Dragon Ball might as well be a documentary, but still.

The best he manages to do is to kick off Arale’s entire head, which horrifies the boys, but Arale’s a robot, so it doesn’t matter.

Anyway, Vegeta gets wrecked because of course he does.  This isn’t even the worst humiliation he’s experienced while fighting a female android. 

Goku and Arale finally remember each other, and Goku’s basically like “fuck it, let’s just fight.” He goes Super Saiyan Blue and they shoot energy blast at each other.

I guess the Gatchans just sort of wore themselves out?  I completely forgot they were in this thing, but I guess it doesn’t matter.

Senbei manages to buy some time by using Reality Machine #2 to make some poop, which Trunks tosses onto the battlefield to distract Arale.  This won’t keep her busy for long, but it’s a start.

This gives Bulma a chance to execute her own plan.  She had tried contacting Whis to get help from Beerus, but Beerus is taking a nap, and Whis refuses to wake him.  So Bulma speaks with the live television audience and tells them to focus their thoughts on Reality Machine #2.  Wait, why is this being covered live?  And how many people are watching a show like this, anyway?  Well, I guess Mr. Satan’s in it, so that might explain its popularity. 

Anway, Bulma has everyone imagine their most favorite food, and the Reality Machine combines all those thoughts to produce a single, supremely delicious treat.  It looks like the coffee-flavored jawbreaker from the Buu Saga.  Has Vegito returned?

Whatever it is, the aroma is so enticing that Beerus smells it from over a kajillion light years away.  He wakes up and makes Whis take him to Earth immediately, and picks up the treat.   Dr. Mashirito is annoyed to see this newcomer, and starts confronting him...

... so Beerus destroys him.  Apparently even ghosts can be destroyed, so I assume this is the last we ever see of this character, dead or alive.

Then Arale annoys him while he’s savoring his treat, and he prepares to destroy her too, until...

... I don’t know for sure, but it seems like Beerus suddenly got diarrhea.  He forgets his divine wrath and demands that Whis take him back home immediately. 

No one is sure what just happened, but Trunks suspects that Beerus got sick from eating food that came out of a device that previously had poop in it.  Sure.

Anyway, Playtime X wears off just in time for Senbei to return home, so the crisis is over. 

Meanwhile, Vegeta sulks from the branch of a tree. 

This was easily the best episode of Dragon Ball Super until the part where Goku fought Kefla, so I’ve been looking forward to it since I started this thing.  This whole series has sort of been screwing around, so it’s about time they started screwing around seriously instead of the half-assed stuff they’d been doing before. 

[meikostan]

OK finally watching oshi no ko anime, it turns out all i needed was to go outside for like an hour and im normal again

my thoughts under the cut (writing as i watch) (long) (lots of thoughts) (beautiful and true?) (manga reader) (don't read if anime only) (spoilers) (seriously) (i talk alot) (lots of thoughts)

at this point i've reread oshi no ko enough times that even if i didnt already know japanese i could probably make it without the subs SDJLF but its so cool to see lines and panels that im so familiar with brought to life!! i also liked goro's death scene, especially the way they used static and cut between shots. i keep on pulling out my physical copies of onk (well mostly vol 1) and pointing at my screen and the corresponding part of the book like

2. AIIIII little known fact about me is that ai is genuinely my favorite character... WHICH SUCKS BECAUSE SHE DIES IN THE FIRST VOLUME. seriously we only ever get to see her after this when a. her name or demeanor is invoked by another character b. aqua has his numerous mental breakdowns or c. flashbacks (including but not limited to aqua's mental breakdowns). i am always down for ai content!!!

3. its so much easier to ignore the weird vaguely sexual stuff from their babyhood because i know the rest of the series is normal and cool and not into that sort of stuff👍

4. speaking of normal yayayay it's aqua back when he was actually normal and not "normal" :D like he is just a baby. do you think now that oshi no ko is popular people will get into internet arguments about whether you can ethically have aqua as your favorite character post-normalification. actually wait this may already have been happening in the dark depths of some discord server out there.. but i dont use discord so im blissfully unaware

5. OH i dont think ive seen all of the OG b komachi before? or at least not in high detail. epic!

6. infant ruby telling people on the internet "kys" before age 2... truly a model twitter user

7. not gonna lie i havent really ever liked the way babies are drawn here (including manga)... idk their heads just look way too big like adult heads drawn on toddler bodies then ""cutified"". but this is a personal gripe

8. do you think because of infantile amnesia the twins forgot about the whole pretending to be amaterasu moment. do you think miyako still remembers. can you imagine being the foster mother of two kids who you believe to be gods sent to earth. do you think she remembers that she was "charged by the gods with keeping ai's secret" and then aqua. you know.

9. imagine: you married the ceo of a mid production company because you want to date hot men. there are no hot men in sight. you have to watch over one of the idol's twin infant babies. they reveal to you that they are divine messengers of god and also they can speak normally. there are no hot men in sight. you tend to their every need because you don't want divine retribution. you explain the intricacies of the idol industry in detail every couple of days when they complain about the injustices of the world. there are no hot men in sight. you become their foster mom after they witness the traumatic death of their mother, whose secrets you where charged with keeping safe. at least 12 years pass. they never mention any of this again. you manage the idol group one of them is in. there are still no hot men in sight. your name is miyako. every day you wake up.

10. i like how gotanda gives his business card to a toddler. whats he gonna do, call you on his fisher price dial phone? well actually nevermind aqua is probably the only other toddler (alongside ruby) who could make use of a business card

11. KANAA LETS FUCKING GOOOOO but also nothing will ever top 'lick a lying snitch/flick a crying switch'...... nothing ever... :( also taking the opportunity now to say ive always found it hilarious she assumed 'aqua' is his stage name and not his actual legal name, that's how ridiculous it is DSKLFJ

12. sobbing at the ruby ai dance... dont even have that many words i just really like it.. do you guys think ai was thinking about her own mom [& abuse/lack of relationship thereof]? not even just in this scene but in her more serious moments when she's thinking about her kids it's like "i want to make millions so they can go to the nicest schools and have the nicest things" "i want my daughter to dance freely and happily and i will support her in this" which ig can also be excused as 'thats just what a normal parent wants' but idk i like taking into consideration her own past and lack of parental support when looking at the way she tries to raise her children (not that she exactly got a chance to, even while still alive)

13. also i realized at this point that ep 1 is like an hour long not just because of the whole 'we gotta make sure no one drops this before the reveal that shows what this story's actually gonna be about', but also because it would be kinda awkward to have cut any of these scenes out? or not like out completely but like from each other. like if we had ended ep 1 at for example where they do their silly baby dance and go twitter viral (chapter 5 aka the midpoint of vol 1). that wouldve been terrible. but we can't cut it any earlier, or any later. ai's death feels like the natural conclusion to this problem. also i can't really see much of the other sections being stretched out to fit a full episode length being done very well. having ep 1 be a full 90 minutes lets them be as long as they need to be, aka a 1:1 adaptation of the manga.

14. oh boy chapter 9 time

15. i don't have anything to say about ai's outlook that has not already been said but this is the scene that made her my favorite character. not being able to tell at what point your lies become reality.. not really knowing if you've ever loved or been loved truly because your entire concept of 'love' was based off insincerity necessary for survival.. and now not ever being given the chance to explore what 'real love' means to you. FUCK

16. aww i love all these little family moments they added! very cute ^_^

17. yayy go kids get traumatized ^_^ also for some reason i remember the stalker as having really light hair o-0 fascinating. i remembered his name though!! just like ai fr

18. speaking of hair i also did not realize saitou was blond i thought he had brown hair..

19. hey the bandana (? i forget the word) guy holding the ai fan sign during the news montage is from one of the intros to the vol 1 chapters where hes like 'oh yeah i wonder where those dancing babies are now'!

20. another part of that montage shows a house with a wii in it, which came out november 19 2006. characters are shown using twitter which started earlier that same year; it was a pretty popular website even in 2008, but the mobile app only became a thing in like 2010. i'm seeing a mix of flip phones and smart phones so this has gotta take place sometime around 2010. it's kinda difficult to tell exactly what age the twins are in the main story because like the first page of vol 2 has ruby listing her age as 14, but - and the proof is not at my finger tips rn - i swear to god they're like 16 at this point. i have legitimate reasons to believe this but i need to grab exact proof adding to that we also have 15 years of lies, which if im remembering right would be referring to the twins age? i was trying to logic out exactly what year oshi no ko takes place in even though i already know the answer is 'in the modern day' but anyway yeah i'll just finish my episode and move on

21. THE IPHONE RUBY IS HOLDNIG HAS A HEADPHONE JACK. i want so badly to say that's an iphone 4 but there's like a separation between that and the power button. i also dont have an iphone 4 with me so i cant check it irl :( but anyway the iphone 4 was released in 2010, meaning the evidence is piling up for this part of the story taking place some time around 2010. or maybe i'm looking too deeply into this and should go back to actually watching the episode.

22. this is reminding me i was gonna write a fic specifically about this time period where the twins go to therapy and have to adjust to life without ai, having miyako graduate from fake mom to actual mom, aqua faking being fully recovered from the incident so he'd be released from therapy (fic concept was inspired from him stating this in like vol 6), etc. i never did because i spent like 3 hours researching play therapy and never got anywhere with it.. but maybe...

23. THE KIDS HAVING TO WATCH HER FUNERAL THROUGH THE FUCKING CAR WINDOW... I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF

24. YESS AQUA NORMALIFICATION COMPLETE

25. AM I INSANE OR IS THAT AKANE? HER HAIR COLOR IS THE SAME BUT IT'S SO SHORT

26. MEM!!!!

27. AHHH POST CREDITS AI MAKING HER VIDEO FOR THE TWINS "i don't think i'll still be an idol by then" YEAH BUT AT WHAT COST 😭

FINAL THOUGHTS: i liked it alot ^_^ i dont really watch that much anime anymore (not that i watched an incredible amount before, but i am familiar with it) but i really liked this. i think they did a very good job of adapting the first volume! i know the rest of the episodes will be not-film length which does make me a bit sad because i think it would work out well, or at least not badly, if they were. it does also make me really excited for the future, seriously i will actually explode when i see the theater arc in full. cannot wait to see aqua mental breakdowns and ruby evil arc and and and and

the only thing i would've liked is if they could somehow have found a way to incorporate the pre-chapter intro scenes from the manga where they're talking about 15 years of lies, interviews with their pre-school teacher, etc. though both the pre-school teacher and the aforementioned bandana guy appear which may have been their way of doing it? like adding a fun detail for obsessives like myself to point at like 'my god it's those guys from exactly 2 panels in the manga'

tumblr ate my post and erased everything up to #2 while i was writing it and i was about to flip but it turns out that it automatically saves posts while youre writing them now and it was in my drafts safe and sound soooo crisis averted ^_^ anyway those were my thoughts on ep 1

[chidoroki]

My Hero Academia S6EP15

aka: blasts from the past

All that firepower and not one hit Shigaraki.

I wish I had more to say about this episode being about 10 minutes in, but honestly this is the one series were the main villains don’t interest me in the slightest.

Long time no see Muscular. And Moonfish. Forgot that psycho was here too.

NAGANT!!! Ma’am I’m so very excited to see you and finally hear your voice! It sounds lovely!

Got a whole lot of familiar faces popping up this ep with Overhaul returning too. Along with AFO of course.

Welcome back to the land of the living Bakugo.

Still find it hard to believe that Gran Torino managed to survive this whole fight, like this old dude had better luck than Midnight, Majestic and many others? Really?

Oh? I don’t remember us having a scene with Kaminari, Jiro and Tokoyami at the hospital like this..

The moment with Todoroki and the other students yes and it’s sweet they’re trying to be hopeful for him.

The hell did they give Rei to wear on her head..?

Todoroki needs several hug.

Having Kirishima properly greet Fuyumi & Natsu when they come visit is so cute. He’s a precious boy.

Oh wait.. oh god it just hit me that Rei is out of her hospital. She’s here. With her family. Oh god, I’m sure I was proud of her when I read that in manga but realizing it again now still makes me happy.

Eh Midoriya will be fine. He’s got that mc plot armor.

[victorie552onepiecespeedrun]

Reading One Piece pt 225: Go Go Power Rangers

Chapter 472

Thoughts:

- That would be the chapter where Straw Hats take Oars down, right

- Yup, the chapter title is “Down” cause Oars is going Down

- Fpos/cs: “The city on the moon is also named Birka. Lacking natural resources, they flew to the Blue Planet.” So that would be “Skypiea people came to Eart from the moon” theory, I think, at least according to this translation?

Does that mean Skypieans are aliens? Do you think they look like people but are totally different inside? That could be. When Oda will finally finish One Piece, he’ll probably get into the next big project and name it “One Piece: In Space!” :D. If that happen, I totally called it

- Zoro: ‘sees the most giant zombie ever’ “How about we sent it flying?” Zoro, never change

- Actually, I wonder. If they threw him high enough AND managed to drop him on the head… he would get killed by not only Ground but also His Own Mass, right? Is that how physics work? I just know the smaller the bug is, the higher it can get dropped from with no harm. Should work the other way, right?

Too bad it’s impractical. It would be great.

…Oh dear, I’m thinking like Zoro now

- “I’m super scared” we know, Usopp. You’re also super brave so whatever

- “Butt Stomp” nice attack, he just sits on them, lol

- “Tactics Fifteen!” They have tactics planned!? That’s great! Show us what you got there!

- …

- …

- I loved Power Rangers as a kid but this will not work here. I am sorry Straw Hats, I wish it did

- “The left arm isn’t docked yet! Nico Robin, what are you doing? Dock with the left arm! Hurry!” That “hurry” got me :D

- I… love this? So much :D  

- They are CRUSHED lol

- …also is Oars? He probably loves Power Rangers too

- Now Zoro is embarrassed :D he didn’t know the plan, he went with that on autopilot :D Mentally, I’m rolling on the floor laughing :D (no, I will not use that acronym, I feel too cool for it today)

- Yeah, that kind of Dumb Idea could came only from Franky/Usopp/Chopper combo :D Too bad Luffy isn’t there to participate

- Does… Zoro have a plan now? I won’t believe in anything serious right now

- Well, everyone is going with that, so let’s see

- It’s doing SOMETHING

- Oars is falling! There we go!

- “Improvised Midair Stair Building” real talk, he can’t hold onto money but beside that, Franky is peak Husband Material, right? He could fix EVERYTHING in the house! And he has such Dad vibes. He should be married to someone. Not to me, he’s too loud (also, I was never into self- insert) but to SOMEONE (Iceburg or Robin most probably I guess, I don’t know his shipping charts), he’s a Husband by his lonesome, It’s like Mandalorian without a kid, it’s just wrong

- But in all honesty, what are they doing

- Punch him! Yeah!

- They’re trying to get him concussion?

- And Sanji for finish!

- YOOOOOO They did get him to hit ground with his head!

- Is Oars down?

- Zombies watch from afar and are scared

- …He can talk, he’s not out

- Nami Is Coming!

- Lola/Laura caught her up on situation :)

- Perona is busy running away

- “I was only with Moria for fun!” …ok

- Wait, does she want to run on Thousand Sunny? That’s illegal, madam

- OH FUCK

Don’t scare me like that…! …Kuma!

rOP 224  rOP 226

[ackermonie]

like a hot dad

content: nsfw, long haired levi, breeding kink, daddy/mommy kink if u squint, dilf levi, post war canon

warnings: +18 content, mild manga spoilers, f!bodied reader.

wc: 1.5k~

tags: @motherfckerrr bc they commented ehe

a/n: i genuinely had no idea where this was going i just kept writing and somehow ended up with being h word for dilf long haired levi and idk how to take it back tysm

also pls reblog if u can!! i’m tryna gain back my old followers from my previous blog due to shadowban, so spreading the word could def help!! tysm either way<3

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

do you think levi would grow his hair out post-war?

idk mahn but the vision of him with a short wolf-ish is really getting to me.

i feel like maybe he’d let it grow accidentally. with the healing process for his knee and the rest of his wounds i feel like he wouldn’t really care about his hair, and you’re totally in for it.

it’s a huge change. for years, you’re used to levi’s neat hair and infamous undercut, and you were 100% into it. but now as he finally lets you cut his hair for him instead of doing it himself, you kinda slowly fix it in a wolf cut and let it grow gradually.

you’d come up with excuses every time he asks you to cut his hair.

“i have so much to do around the house today, my love. maybe tomorrow?”

“oh, i’m on my period today. i can barely stand up.”

“oh! i forgot i have to go get stuff from the market! i’ll be meeting gabi and falco, i can’t be late, can i?”

once he gets frustrated with you, the raven silk was already down to his nape. it shaped his face beautifully, and once you caught him with a pair of scissors in the bathroom, your soul left your body.

“WAIT!” you dash to him, holding down the armed left hand. “you’re not left handed! you wanna ruin your hair??”

“shut up,” he rolls his eyes at you. “you’ve been putting me off for months. look how long it’s gotten!” he gestures with a hand to the mirror in front of you two. “i look hideous.”

you slip the scissors from his hands, and levi catches the little sly smile that slips on your face as you squeeze yourself between his body and the sink.

you watch the realization fall on his face while your hands slip in his hair.

“is this what i get for letting my guard down around you?”

“you look beautiful,” you tell him, love struck as you are, never missing the pink dust that rushes to his cheeks “everyone compliments you for it. you still wanna cut it off again?”

“i don’t give a shit about anyone else.” he grumbles and looks down between you both, leaning on his cane. “i don’t look representable.”

“you don’t have to look representable,” your tone lowers in sincerity. a thumb grazes the scar on the right side of his face. “you’re not a captain anymore, my love. you’re free to do whatever your heart pleases.”

he looks up at you, features blank, but you know well how your words are tossing and turning in his brain.

“besides,” your smile returns back to your face, and you pull him a little closer. “you look extremely hot.” a hand trails down to the hem of his shirt, your eyes following the movement, then you return your gaze back up to him. “like a hot dad.”

his eyebrows shoot up, playfulness making an appearance on the previous stoic features. “like a hot dad?”

“mmhm,” you affirm with a mock-nonchalant nod, and you slip away from him jjjuuust when he was about to pull you in. you look at him over your shoulder, mischief pure in your gaze. “i’ll go check on dinner for the guests coming tonight. feel free to join.”

only except that ten minutes later, the kitchen is completely empty and you two didn’t manage to make it past the living room. he was seated on the sofa, head throw back with his fucking hair framing his delicious expression like that, you swear you could cum untouched in your position between his legs as you get to work.

“like a hot dad, huh?” he mumbles, all breathless and shit once you were seated in his lap, his length stretching you perfectly. a hand reaches up to wipe away the remaining of his previous climax on the corner of your lips. you throw your head in the crook of his neck, the pleasure of your hips rolling skillfully against his hitting you bad. “you could’ve just asked, lovely. wanna make me a daddy?”

you manage a shaky nod when he begins to meet your hips halfway.

a hand trails up from your waist to garb your neck, squeezing deliciously as he pulls you away from his neck to take a good look at you. “words, my love.”

“yes,” you nod, eyes closed in bliss. one of your hands grab the wrist of the hand around your neck. “wan’ make y-you a…hhah… daddy.”

���fffuuck…” he groans out when you squeeze around him, letting himself gather enough strength before he throws you off of him and onto the sofa. when your thighs are squeezed together at the painful loss of contact, a palm falls on one of them, leaving a flushed mark in its wake.

“open wide, baby.” he grabs a hold of his cock while he holds the back of your opening thigh to keep the pair apart. the years upon years in the survey corps leave you as flexible as you can be, so when he presses your thigh back, your joints bend easily at his will. pumping himself a few times as he gazes at your glistening folds, another groan breaks out from deep in his chest.

“god, look at you.” he rolls his hips in, and you feel him slip through so pleasurably that you can’t hold back the loud whimper that escapes you.

because damn, how could you not from this view? this is a face of a determined, pussy-drunk man. sweat broke on his forehead, a few strands sticking to the skin while the rest of his hair falls around his face perfectly. you see a ting of pain on his features, and you scatter to try to change your position for a more comfortable one for him, but he is quickly pushing you back down to the couch, a hand falling to your lower abdomen.

the pressure he puts there makes you forget your own name, and it shows on the way your body shivers with bliss. his thrusts increase in velocity, the maddening roll of his hips against yours throwing you in a whole other dimension.

a hand reaches out to grab yours, and through the dizzying pleasure, you realize that levi is pressing your own hand to your abdomen underneath his.

“look how deep inside am i,” he grumbles, leaning down to press a kiss on your bouncing tits. you feel his length stroke in and out of you the more levi puts pressure on your hand. “taking me so well. always so well, baby.”

he takes control of your hand once more, feeling you squeeze familiarly around him, and he pushes your fingers through his hair. you yank on the strands immediately, pulling out a fucking growl out of the man as he leans down until your chests were touching, putting a bit of his body weight on you for support.

you latch onto him like a koala, the burn of your core muscles stretching as he pushes you in a mating press mixes well with your pleasure-high brain. levi kisses, licks, bites down on your neck to leave marks you’ll have trouble hiding later, but you don’t give a shit. you arch your neck more, letting out a long moan when he nips at a certain spot, the bliss turning you mad.

levi is breathless. his puffs of air fan your face when he brings his face on top of yours. a whimper escapes past his lips, his features twisted with pleasure uncontrollably, and you drown in the sounds he makes.

“wann’ make you a mommy too,” he mumbles, open lips landing on the corner of your lips. “wanna…hhah… fill you up. over,” he pauses, delivering an especially harsh thrust that you feel at your cervix. “and over again.”

“levi, i’m so—,”

your body begins to curl into him, eyes closing uncontrollably, and the poor man barely has any chance to ready himself for the way you tighten impossibly around him as you give him your first climax.

your body shivers and quivers, shaking as he overstimulates you chasing after his own pleasure. he leans back up, hands harshly grabbing your lips as he manages to pull you even deeper, and you tightness milk him.

it isn’t the first time he cums inside you, but this one sure hits different. after a few more thrusts that manage to abuse your cervix, levi stills stiffly with a strong groan, and you feel his warmth coat your walls .

he gives you a few more deep strokes as he leans down to kiss you deeply, making sure he fucks all his load deep enough.

his hips still once more, but you keep devouring his lips. weak moans are erupted from both of you as you two calm down gradually, before levi throws sway your attempts of calming down your still-raging arousal when he pulls away, leans up, and slowly pulls out of you.

and he watches the mixture of both your orgasams begin to pool out of you, and you watch as he takes two fingers to push everything back in. you shamelessly roll your hips against bis digits once more.

he looks up at you, fingers still engulfed, snd a smirk takes over his handsome features.

“one more time for good measures?”

[makeste]

BnHA 326: What’s up Kids, It’s Me, Your Old Pal Stain

Previously on BnHA: Ochako shamed the U.A. Clown Mob into letting Deku go back inside his own fucking school by giving them an hour-long speech about how not to be humongous dickheads. Kouta and Gigantic Fox Lady saved the manga by being the only ones brave enough to give Deku a hug. Shouto was all “man, all this togetherness sure does remind me of that promise you made that we would handle Touya together which you immediately bailed on, doesn’t it, Dad.” Aizawa was all, “for the one and a half people out there who thought that my losing an eye and a leg might actually make me less sexy, I’m very happy to prove you wrong.” All Might was all, “[standing outside the U.A. fortress alone in the rain talking to someone or something??].” Like seriously, what was up with that though.

Today on BnHA: All Might is all “here I am in Kamino having a belated mid-life crisis because Deku abandoned me and I’m a terrible mentor and everything sucks and I hate myself.” Stain is all, “don’t make me come over there and give you a ten page speech about why you’re still the goat while menacingly holding you at swordpoint the entire time” because idk if you knew this guys, but Stain is pretty crazy actually. Anyway so he does that, and then All Might gets all emotional, and then the lady from chapter 92 shows up and gives All Might’s statue an encouraging pep talk, and then Horikoshi is all “and it even stopped raining lol can you believe this shit I’m not even a little bit subtle,” and he really isn’t. But I still got emotional anyway, because seeing people reassure All Might that everything he’s struggled for his entire life hasn’t been in vain just got to me okay. Horikoshi knows I am weak to the All Might feels and he just goes for the jugular every time, that bastard.

lmao. “in the neverending downpour, All Might is...” yeah, thank you, glad we’re getting right to that then

“All Might is driving 95 mph in his busted ass car in the pouring rain, is what he’s doing.” huh

so basically a day or two after his adopted child refused to accept the handmade bento that he packed with love, my man is out here acting like he’s got nothing to live for anymore. this sure bodes well for certain prophecies on which the clock is still ominously ticking down

his fucking face though omg. is it weird that I’m kind of hoping more people ambush him just because I think it’d be funny to see them get their asses kicked like the last bunch

(ETA: or maybe he will just stand there openly not giving a fuck and basically daring them to stab him!! get it together please All Might.)

side note, “anti-hero supporters” is such a strange way of saying “people who hate heroes”, which I’m assuming is what they actually wanted to say?? this makes it sound like it’s a group that really loves antiheroes. “these Hannibal stans have been a real menace lately. time to go deal with them”

ha ha ha, fucking ouch

are you really gonna do it Horikoshi you bastard. are you really going to let that be the final encounter between the two characters whose relationship you once described as the vertical axis of the entire fucking story. are you really gonna?? huh??

huh

you’re telling me you were driving 112 mph and you still didn’t get there in time. you’re losing your touch old man. lol Todo’s ice is almost fully melted already, how late were you

(ETA: so apparently this is taking place after the end of chapter 325, meaning he went to U.A., hung out for a bit, saw the kids come back with his bedraggled half-dead protégé in tow, watched as they shamed the civilians into some long-overdue character development, and then was all “welp, time to go argue with the hero-hating faction or something because I’m feeling useless.” and Edge just let him go, just like that. though to be fair I have to imagine it’s pretty hard to say no to All Fucking Might.)

also belated lol at the fact that the kids were all “yeahhhhhhh we are definitely not gonna touch that thing, let’s just leave it here, he doesn’t need it anyway.” probably the right call to make since they couldn’t get a hazmat team on such short notice

fuck. ha ha ha fucking ouch part two

All Might please put that thing down before you get gangrene. also yeah, you dropped the ball, good for you to acknowledge it. nobody’s perfect and you did your best. but yeah you could have handled a lot of things completely differently. but I still love you

is Horikoshi really putting this flashback here. are you serious. what kind of fucking sadist

look, I swear I’m not one of those people that runs up and down the street shouting “DEATH FLAG!!” at every third panel lol. but this shit screamed Death Flag when we originally got it, and it’s screaming DEATH FLAG!!! even more now. like with the capital letters and exclamation marks and all. and that’s just a fact. I don’t like it but that’s how it is

ffkdjslk

“DID YOU READ THE SIGN??!” Horikoshi asks while zooming in maniacally because he thinks we’re blind or something. lol what

-- though actually, it only just occurred to me that this sign is actually written in English. I never really paid attention up until now and had been assuming it was written in Japanese and translated by the scanlators, but the writing here is clearly part of the original image. anyway so maybe that’s why he’s zooming in?? just to make sure everybody pays attention lol

okay fuck this

see, this is the whole problem right here. once again All Might is all on his own. Deku’s self-destructive angst spiral was fortunately brought to a grinding halt because he actually has support from his friends and family and teachers and classmates. but All Might never had that same kind of support, and it’s made all the difference between the two of them, and not in a good way. Katsuki wasn’t wrong when he said All Might and Deku were both cut from the same cloth. but now when it’s All Might’s turn to go all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD~~” once again, there’s nobody in sight

just, after forty plus years of him carrying this torch, I just wish someone would finally come along to let him know he doesn’t have to. all those things that he wanted to say to Deku are also things that he needs and deserves to hear himself. Aizawa was making a little progress there, but now he’s got his sad zombie cloud boyfriend situation to deal with, and we can’t expect him and his perfect hair to solve all our problems. someone else has gotta step up

oh my god

“you rang?” never mind I take it all back sob

omg why am I laughing. shit

this man truly has the best PR game in the series. we were truly convinced he was gonna suddenly become a good guy and defend All Might against the other villains or some nonsense. as if this wasn’t the same man who decided on a whim that Iida Tensei deserved to be paralyzed, and that his fifteen-year-old brother deserved to die for daring to be upset about it

lol even All Might is all “I genuinely never saw this coming” lmao

just want to say, for the record, I have always harbored a very sensible hatred toward Stain. feeling very vindicated right now. good job Past Me

adsfklwkfsdwgkj

ffffwefjslkg. ghsdlkg. dsfkkkslkjldwkjrg

STAIN: heard you talking shit old man

ME: smh that’s what I thought you’d say you dumb fucking Stain

STAIN: how dare you talk about All Might that way

ME: gljfljgk

(ETA: in hindsight I have no idea how I didn’t clue in sooner that he didn’t recognize him -- or, well, ~didn’t recognize~ him, to be more accurate lol. I think it was the whole “is that a slight against the heroes?” thing that threw me. Viz’s translation makes it much clearer that he’s offended on behalf of All Might specifically, not heroes in general. anyways.)

sob. so All Might is all “yeah I don’t blame you for not recognizing me in this sweet leather jacket”

good thing he still knows how to do this party trick

A+ reflexes on Stain’s part presumably pulling the sword back a few inches to keep this dumbass from impaling himself with his whole pufferfish routine. can you imagine if that was the gruesome death Nighteye foresaw. and he was just too embarrassed to say anything

lol anyways guess I was wrong about Stain everyone

way to fucking go, Past Me. you really biffed this one

oh wait

Stain sure is one wacky rollercoaster ride

oh fuck me lol I forgot how much I did not miss this

(ETA: “this here is the sacred ground where All Might gave up the last of his power and turned into a shriveled old man!! please ignore the part where I admit to knowing all about that, and yet pretend not to recognize said man when he’s standing two feet in front of me.”)

Past Me, I know we’ve had our ups and downs these past ninety seconds, but I’m really starting to think you were on to something. this dude has always been kind of insufferable. always acting like his high horse is a fucking giraffe when it’s actually a Shetland pony

dammit now he’s got All Might going off on a depressed monologue

oh my god my heart

shit

why the fuck does that hit so hard. he became a hero because he couldn’t bear to just sit back and let bad things happen to people who didn’t deserve it. I mean that’s basically the same as every hero ever, right? so why does it still hit so fucking hard every single time though. what is it about seeing someone so determined to stand up for other people and fight on their behalf. it just never loses its impact no matter how many times I see that determination mirrored in so many of my favorite characters

“I wanted to make the world a better place.” omg. but you did, though. like seriously, I feel like people are always dogging on him for not being 100% perfect, and fandom really doesn’t give him enough credit for everything he still managed to accomplish. this man came of age at a time when Japan was by all accounts a total shitshow, and singlehandedly managed to bring about an era of peace that lasted for four fucking decades. can you imagine having peace for that long?? that’s longer than I’ve been alive. shit

and he gave people hope. he inspired them and protected them and made them feel safe. and no, he couldn’t save everyone, because he’s only one fucking dude (and also because the whole time AFO was also out there desperately working to undermine him so that he could keep preaching his narrative of “heroes are bad actually”). but you know what he did do, is inspire multiple new generations of heroes who, if they can all manage to work together, will finally be able to accomplish everything he never could

so yeah. forty years of peace, and inspired the “that’s how we all became the greatest heroes” generation -- that’s a fucking win in my book. talk about having a net positive impact on the world. lol anyways now I’m all fired up and ready to fight anyone who tries to talk any shit about you, All Might

“but what if I talk shit about myself” okay listen up All Might I’m gonna need you to try just a little bit harder to work with me here okay. please calm down and stop blaming yourself for every single bad thing that’s ever happened in the world. do you remember that time Bakugou was blaming himself for Kamino, and you gave him a hug and told him it wasn’t his fault, and that he was only a boy, and that even though he was strong, even strong people can struggle with the burdens they place on themselves, and that you were sorry for not seeing that earlier? do you remember all of that? that’s what I want someone to tell you too, dammit. anyway please stop breaking my heart please and thanks

wtf

are you dead All Might

um

I don’t even have the slightest idea what’s happening lol

oh snap did he grab him so they could hide??

hold the fucking phone. don’t tell me this person in the background with the umbrella is here to actually do something decent??

oh my godddd

and here come the feels. oh boy. okay don’t mind me, I’m just gonna sit here sobbing over this fictional lady and her simple act of kindness in this weekly shounen manga that I care about way too much

FUCKING DAMMIT AND HERE’S A SECOND HELPING

DON’T MIND ME, I’M JUST GETTING DISPROPORTIONATELY EMOTIONAL OVER THIS WOMAN’S DETERMINATION TO HONOR A MAN WHO SACRIFICED EVERYTHING TO SAVE HER AND COUNTLESS OTHERS. I’M JUST HAVING SOME FEELS OVER HERE ABOUT HER HEARTFELT, DOESN’T-EVEN-KNOW-ANYONE-ELSE-IS-WATCHING FEELINGS OF GRATITUDE THAT COMPELLED HER TO COME OUT HERE AND MAKE THIS SMALL BUT POWERFUL GESTURE. I’M JUST OUT HERE GETTING ALL PROFOUNDLY WORKED UP ABOUT STATUE MAINTENANCE AND THE HUMAN RACE. NEVER MIND. JUST IGNORE ME AND CARRY ON

holy shit. I was not even remotely prepared. you can’t just do that to me. you can’t just leave all these death flags on my lawn and then suddenly shift gears to show me the best of humanity in a chapter where I was expecting the worst. that fucks a person up lol

OH ARE WE STILL GOING

my heart. you see that, All Might. your legacy is so much more powerful and meaningful than you think

...has. has Stain actually been giving All Might a pep talk this entire time

I give up lol. this dude is a fucking enigma

YAYYY

it may just be a metaphor panel, but I’ll take it lol. I missed them. nice to see the traffic light trio front and off-center. I know the whole “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes” thing had left some questioning whether certain characters would continue to play a central role in the narrative, and hopefully this will help to ease those concerns just a bit

anyway, so idk if it’s getting a bit chilly down there in hell, but damned if Stain didn’t just give an actual decent fucking speech

I have to say, earlier when I was whining about All Might not having a support squad, I really was not expecting Stain to be the one to come over and pat his head and reassure him that he made the world a better place

-- okay LISTEN

YOU CAN’T JUST COME INTO MY HOUSE AND HIT ME WITH THOSE ALL MIGHT TEARS AGAIN GODDAMMIT THIS ISN’T FAIR. my god. first 317 and now this

holy fucking shit

“I’m just gonna pretend like I haven’t been stalking him for two days and didn’t see the entire Deku bentogate thing go down, and then I’ll give him the whole big speech that I rehearsed, and then I’ll turn around and be all ‘BUT IF YOU’RE A TRUE HERO’, and then I’ll toss him the super-secret AFO wifi password that I stole from Tartarus. god I’m such a badass. fucking give myself chills”

so basically what you’re telling me is that this whole time my “what’s up kids” characterization of Stain from this shitpost has actually been 100% accurate. just want to make sure I’m understanding this right. okay then

“and then I’ll dramatically spin around and be all NOW COME KILL ME BITCH”

it must be so much fun to write Stain. drawing this coked-out maniac who talks like a chatbot that was trained to speak by reading Alan Moore monologues. that must be a trip

anyway so All Might is still crying, the awesome lady from chapter 92 is admiring her handiwork totally oblivious to the batshit insanity going on fifty meters to her right, and it’s finally stopped raining lol

“THE RAIN WAS A METAPHOR YOU SEE” yes, yes, we got it lol. thanks for that Horikoshi. don’t think we needed any help putting the pieces together on that one but I appreciate the effort

so that’s the end! and as I mentioned in another post, I had the count off by one chapter, but next week should be cliffhanger week! so break out your U.A. Traitor bingo cards, friends and fiends. either that or something else happens that I’m completely not expecting at all. which, based on my success rate with Stain predictions, I’d say is more than likely lol

mmm but anyway, so now that the Hug Deku 2021 campaign has finally come to an end, what’s it gonna take to get a hug for my struggling bento-preparing jacket-rocking world-weary death-flag-waving husband who is the worthiest man to ever live and deserves the fucking world, goddammit

[satorinnie]

love and war

pairing; gojo satoru x f!reader

genre; angst

wc; 3,6k

warnings; jjk manga spoilers

notes; i think its obvious the ending is a bit rushed but i still tried my best :/ got the motivation to write the ending but then lost it again...but i wanted to post it today so here it goes. would love to hear feedback on it!

it wasn’t meant to play out like this. no, he wasn’t meant to find out about it, not like this at least.

that was the last thing you ever wanted.

everything was going so fine, maybe too fine, but still, nonetheless, things were perfect between the two of you just this morning. how did it come to this?

he was looking at you, blindfold off, crescent blue eyes reflecting each emotion he held so so openly. the only times you saw him this vulnerable was when the two of you had talked about his past, his regrets, and what if’s. his eyes were full of adoration at that time, looking at you like you were a pure blessing from the heavens, an angel sent to save him from his drowning thoughts, to let him be himself.

but now, now they were looking at you with so much hurt, anger, regret, and oh so heartbroken.

you had seen, witnessed, first-hand what the receiving end of gojo’s furious gaze ended with. it wasn’t pleasant, that’s for sure, and you had sworn to yourself you would never be on the receiving end of it.

oh, how the tables have turned.

it was understandable why he was so mad; god knows you would be too. because you, who had delicately pieced back his broken heart and trust after the events of getou, had now broken it, by your very own hands at that.

how did it all come to this? you had no idea. you knew starting a relationship with him was wrong and off-limits from the very beginning, but the temptation had surpassed your rationality just like eve when she bit the apple. you never thought you’d fall this deep down the hole, so deep that you forgot–no, ignored your true mission.

to monitor gojo satoru and sukuna’s vessel and kill them when you got the order.

it was last year when the head sorcerers in england had given you this mission. if gojo was unbeatable and unrivaled in japan, you were the same in england. perhaps your curse technique wasn’t as strong as his, but it was versatile and a very reliable technique.

after itardori yuuji became the only sukuna’s vessel, japan wasn’t the only country sour about the thought of it; in fact, it had caused a panic in europe as well. and as england was the country that ruled the jujutsu world in europe, you were assigned with monitoring the vessel and the owner of the six eyes. they wanted their eyes and hands on the boy with the infinity.

but you befriending everyone there, joking with the curse himself, and becoming lovers with the one and only gojo satoru was definitely not how you planned for things to go. it spelled trouble from the beginning, getting close to the shaman who had an ego and power rivaling the gods. but, unfortunately, you were now too deep to just leave without explaining everything to him, and even hoping for a chance that he’d forgive the lies you fed him throughout your times together was a little farfetched.

how could you make him believe that everything you said was genuine, and out of true love? the answer was you couldn’t because the betrayal in his eyes was enough for you to gulp down those hopes, taking a deep breath to prepare for the argument that was about to come. “look–satoru, please let me explain and don’t jump to conclusions.” you lifted your hands in front of you as an act to calm him down, walking closer to him with a futile attempt to hold his hands.

“explain what?” a laugh escaped his throat, one mixed with desperation and madness, “that everything between us was a lie? a mission for you? how do you plan on slithering your way out of this now, huh?” his voice rising with each word he was spitting out of his mouth.

you were desperately trying to keep up the expression that you had everything together, when in fact, you didn’t at all. your hands were starting to shake because you were scared of losing the man in front of you whom you were utterly in love with. the boy with the infinity held your heart in his palms, and he had no idea about it. “nothing was a lie, alright! i know how that document looked, and i can’t lie and tell you that isn’t true, but my love for you is–”

“keep those fucking lies to yourself y/n–you know, everyone knows already. megumi, yuuji, maki, even shoko–”

“stop cutting me, gojo! i know it might be unforgivable, but you have to believe me when i say i forgot about the mission. i love you, okay? i am undeniably and utterly in love with you, and that’s why i’ve been ignoring every call, every message they’ve been sending me about the task because i can’t do it!” you were screaming now, hands in the air, trying to voice out every single emotion you were feeling in that moment.

“well, it’s too bad that i don’t love you anymore! you know, i’ve known about this for a few weeks now and was hoping you’d open up to me about it, but–”

you froze at his last sentence.

“–you what? so you’re telling me that everything that happened in between us during those weeks was an act? all fake? you were just waiting for me to open up so you could what, break my heart in a more grand way?” now you had to give it to him, not only was he secretly smart, he was also a great actor who had you fooled for weeks now. the room was silent after your words, both your eyes staring deep into each other; you, waiting for his answer.

and you watched as he opened and closed his mouth, not sure how to answer your question. but you knew what that meant; with his hesitance, you had found your answer. breaking your eye contact, you looked down at the floors of the home you used to share; you could hear your heart shattering into millions of pieces with just the sound of his breathing.

“alright,” you whispered into the air. running your hand over your face, you leaned back against the kitchen counter. “so how will this go? are you going to let me go or are we gonna have a full-on fight right now? or is everyone already waiting outside the door to capture me?” you were doing your best to avoid eye contact, it was already too heard keeping your tears from falling, and you knew one more look at the eyes you loved so much would break you.

there was silence for a few minutes, but in your eyes, a few minutes was an eternity long. the fact that he was debating the question you left was heartbreaking already. but you weren’t afraid to fight; you had come to japan prepared for the worst-case scenario, and getting to know satoru up close, you believed you had a fair chance at winning.

“–im giving you twenty-four hours to leave this country. if you don’t–you know what’s to happen.” this had you lifting your head in the speed of lightning, eyes wide mouth agape, you could only watch as gojo satoru left your shared house without sparing you a single glance.

he was oblivious to how he carried your heart out the door when he left you stranded in the middle of the kitchen.

it was an hour after your discussion, and you were still in the same spot he left you. still standing, still too paralyzed to move. the reality of things being over was just starting to weigh on you, but you knew you had to start packing because not only gojo; but england was going to be after you too.

you failed the mission. and you didn’t plan on returning back.

war is a slippery slope. what would you do? becomes what will you do? becomes what have you done?

looking around the now-empty home, you built with gojo; tears started falling from your hallow eyes. so many memories resurfaced in one moment; it was overwhelming. the day your first saw him when he was trying to crack a joke at nanami to get him to smile. or the time he first asked you out admitting he had found you a force to be reckoned with and how you had managed to bewitch him. the day you accepted, the day he made you see stars behind your eyes from pure bliss. the day he proposed living together. the day you danced around the living room with his obnoxious music playing at the back, head laid against his chest humming to the melodies. how you felt like a family when you saw him and the students act so close–

how long has it been? how long have you been pushing your actual task behind the lies and excuses you fed yourself. was that person you? the ever so stone-hearted y/n breaking her facade for the boy with infinity.

my god, my god, whose performance am i watching? how many people am i? who am i? what is this space between myself and myself?

it was all getting too much. when had you fallen down the hole to never leave again? should you be grateful, or should you curse the fact that despite all misfortune, you can still feel love and unearthly love but still for earthly objects?

finally getting a grip on yourself, your feet moved down the hall to your shared bedroom, and without wasting a glance at his side, you quickly started to pack your stuff to leave japan.

gojo wasn’t doing well himself. he thought he had finally found true happiness after all the loss he had to go through, and it all turned out to be nothing but an act built on lies. after he left your shared home, he had wandered around in the streets with no destination in mind and the cold chilly air blowing past him. his blindfold was still off, the moon making his crystal blue eyes shine even more, still with unshed tears at the brink of it—a dam about to break.

he knew he lied to you when he told you he didn’t love you anymore and only hoped the years of the facade he had to keep up was enough to fool you into believing his words when in fact, it was the very opposite. he loved you so much–so much that it broke him when he read the document that was mailed to you weeks ago. you and him were an inseparable duo–the strongest and his tamer. the boy with the infinity and the girl who held him down with gravity.

upon wandering the streets for god knows how many hours, he found himself in front of a riverbank. the light of the moon was radiating, creating a painting of a million stories for the broken boy. but while being so engrossed with the view in front of him, he had failed to feel someone creeping up behind him; with his infinity down, nanami was able to lend a hand on his shoulder. “i’m assuming you talked with her.” he broke the silence.

his silenced gaze worried his friend; they promised to keep it between themselves. while nanami believed letting the kids know would be the better choice, gojo was adamant about keeping your good image in front of them. he knew how much they adored you, and he would hate to be the one to break it to them. “i did.”

“and what choice did you go with?”

“i gave her a full day to leave, and if otherwise–” he gulped down the lump forming in his throat, “–if otherwise, i told her i would fight her.” tears now slowly starting to trail down his porcelain skin, an odd view to see for his foes.

“you did the right thing.” nanami tried his best to console him in a way. this was a new image for him; he never saw gojo break down like this; the last time he saw his best friend (he would never admit that to his face, though) like this was when he had to kill getou, even then he had managed to keep up the aloof facade. but he knew his feeling for you ran much, much deeper than that. he has witnessed what your companionship had done to him. it was what pieced him back, and now what broke him.

it’s been years since you left, but you were back now. back in japan after two years of staying away, traveling to many different countries, on the runaway from the higher-ups in england. you would’ve preferred your return to be on good news and such, but unfortunately, it was the opposite. your friends back in england had informed you about how they planned on ending gojo’s life once in for all today with a team of experienced sorcerers, and although you wanted to keep away from trouble as much you could, you couldn’t let the man you love die.

with your hood covering your face, you walked down the streets of shibuya, the once war zone that led to many disastrous events in the past years under your feet. you heard about everything; the culling game and the capture of gojo satoru, thank god those were all in the past now, and everyone was well–except nanami, and the new had broken you. just like gojo and the students, he also had a special place in your heart, his calm attitude always grounding you. you don’t think his last thoughts of you were good–considering what gojo had told you the night you left, but still, his death was unexpected news to you.

you didn’t know how you were going to approach the topic; there was a big chance they’d attack you the second you entered their line of vision, not allowing you to voice out the news–but it was worth the try nonetheless. taking your hood down, you entered a cafe; the need for caffeine after the long flight back here was strong, the anxiousness and stress not allowing you to sleep. what you didn’t expect was seeing the three first years–now third years–you loved so much sitting in the cafe chatting idly, not noticing you. you wanted to keep it that way, but on your way out, a feminine voice called out your name. “y/n sensei? is that you?”

your steps halted, freezing in your stop. the confrontation was inevitable now, causing a stir in a crowded place was the last thing you wanted so you turned around to see nobara staring at you with wide eyes, megumi and itadori behind shocked just as her. what you didn’t expect was her running straight at your engulfing you with wide arms; a big grin plastered on her face. “where were you! you disappeared out of nowhere, and gojo sensei wouldn’t tell us anything! we were really worried; you left me alone with these two idiots–you know you’re the only one who understands my pain–”

“–i’m sorry, i had to go on an abroad mission, and it took too long. it’s good to be back.” you hugged her back tightly, still trying to process the new information she threw at you. gojo had lied, and that made you question everything you believed in. had he also lied about his love for you back then? but that was for later–for now, you wanted to cherish this news and spend time with your favorite students, learn about their well-being and their stories.

“come on, let’s sit shall we? we got lots to catch up on.”

it was now midnight, and you were waiting somewhere in the middle of the forest for your dreaded meeting with gojo. you managed to convince the kids into telling gojo to meet you here without actually letting him know it was you. they were excited, to say the least, talking about how you and he were the epitomai of soulmates, two pieces meant to find each other, filling up the gaping hole you both had. you were very nervous, fidgeting in your spot, hiding behind the tree waiting for him to arrive, and when you heard footsteps nearing you–you knew this was it, heart pounding like crazy.

walking out of your hiding spot, you slowly made your way over to him, hands stiff at your sides anticipating his reaction. “gojo.” he looked at you, blindfold on this time. still, you could see his displeasure from how his body stiffened at your voice, looking at you with a straight face. “what’re you doing here? i thought i told you to leave.” you sighed, walking closer to him, “i know, and i am going to leave again, but before that, i need to tell you something–” you were cut off by the powerful shake of the ground, throwing you off balance resulting in you falling to the ground.

behind you were your old friends from england, standing tall and mighty together–a force to be reckoned with; you were once one of them, but alas, that was the past. “thanks you leading us straight to him y/n.” elizabeth smirked looking at your fallen state, “you made things a whole lot easier for us.” she continued. looking back at gojo, you were surprised to see his hands locked in some type of chain. how did they manage to get past his infinity–unless he didn’t have it on in the first place. did let his guard down once he saw you? why would he do that?

“no, no, no– leave him alone, elizabeth! i swear to god i’ll rain hell upon all of you!” you stood up desperately trying to leave the makeshift cage your friend had put you in when a sudden idea came to you. it was risky, but it would save him, and that–that was all you needed, your purpose of coming here in the first place.

“lover boy is being quite over there. what is it? cat got your tongue?” she was taunting you and definitely enjoying it too. walking closer to you, she neared your face while the others were beside gojo, “you’re both fools believing you guys could be together in the first place, that’s how it works–” she was cut off by the stomp of your foot on the ground lifting a piece of rock–the one gojo was on, up to the air, away from your ex-friends. if you couldn’t save yourself, you could at least save him; apologize for your past mistakes.

from where you were, you couldn’t do much, but you used all your might to send rock flying in the air towards them meanwhile keeping gojo away from them. your cursed technique was called upon the tainted sorrow, the ability to manipulate gravity, and it was unrivaled in europe. you trained too much to reach where you were, the strongest just like gojo, but even the strong can fall, and all it takes is the blink of an eye.

you were on the ground again, but this time blood pouring from your insides, a deadly piercing through your abdomen. while you were so engrossed with trying to keep gojo safe, you hadn’t realized he was already off the piece of rock fighting the rest. and he had made the mistake of underestimating them, resulting in the struggle. but that distraction was enough for elizabeth to pierce the cursed knife through you.

one second you were on the ground; the next, you were in someone’s arms. looking up, you were met with the crystal blue eyes you had grown to love staring right back at yours. this reminded you of the moments where you used to lay on his chest, hands tangled in his snow-white hair, his hands keeping you tight against him, eyes staring at each other with nothing but love. how unfortunate things weren’t that way now. you bleeding onto his hands which hopelessly applied pressure to your wound in hopes of saving you, his blindfold now off, tears slowly caressing his face. it was a sight for the eyes. you lifted your hand up to cup his cheek, imprinting a red hand mark right where you touched him, “satoru–”

“save your breath, i called for shoko; she’ll be here any minute, and we can save you–” you silenced him with your thumb on his lips, “satoru, this was inevitable, even if you save me now, they’ll still be after me. it’ll be a never-ending cycle.”

“no, i can keep you safe, y/n. remember? it’s us against the world, baby. always has been and always will be.” he kissed your forehead, still keeping you close. his eyes were shut tight; he could feel your consciousness slipping away and knew he couldn’t save you. but can’t a man hope? and as you uttered your last words, body temperature turning cold, breathing stopping, he knew right then and there this was where he lost it all. this was how he lost the light of his world, in his own hands, between his arms.

“for what it’s worth, i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard.” and he knew those words would haunt him for an eternity. follow him wherever he went. the ghost of you will always be with him, never leaving. you will hold him down by gravity with just your soul. yet he still wanted to curse the gods for taking you away from him, his fresh breath of air, his anchor.

your love was strong, but the timing was wrong, and love decided that you both didn’t belong.

[physicalturian]

[G] Gentle summer - Rengoku Kyojuro x GN!Reader - Part 8

[Contains spoilers from the movie, and the manga] [No pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18]

Words : 8662

Archive of our own

Warning : mention of suicide (follows the manga, you might know which one) mention of fear of dying

— Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

On the morning following the moving night I had with Rengoku, we had to wake up early to train but managed to have breakfast together. Everything seemed different and yet, nothing had changed. Everyone around us was still training, diligently so, never stopping until they would fall exhausted on the ground. People would come and go from the place to get ready under different Pillars than those who had stayed at the Butterfly estate. Rengoku and I were the starting point of the training, we were the ones to get everyone slowly acclimated to the fighting, but it was only a matter of time before they were sent to coach under Uzui to better their stamina. Oh, and the look of pure horror on their faces when they would return from those days of training, face long and muscles sore.

Those who would train with Gyomei were too far away to return to this estate and would stay at a nearby place, along with recruits that would train with Mitsuri. More traumatized trainees would come back from Obanai’s training, their gaze devoid of any emotions as they’d shiver at the mere mention of the Pillar in question. I had heard his method was drastic to say the least, mortifying if I listened to those who would return to the mansion at the end of the day. On the first day I had returned, I realized that this was no simple training; something was at stake, they had to improve, they hadto get better by the end of this or they would not last a fight with Muzan and his remaining henchmen.

Coming back to reality, I looked at Rengoku and asked with a bit of worry laced in my voice, “Is there a reason why the training is so intense this year? I thought Pillars were only supposed to train those who would inherit their will?” I had asked, seated right next to a very awake man while I was still half-sleep, shivers running through my body from the cold of having left the futon only minutes ago. “Ah yes! Well, to start, if we defeat Muzan, there will be no need for Pillars anymore.” He said with a big smile, my heart clenched in my chest at the mention of the famous demon we had been training to defeat for too long already. “Why, yes… But it seems like some very intense training. Not that I mind, we could all use some, but it also seems a lot different.” I replied, observing the recruits outside. “At the swordsmith village, something unbelievable happened, we are trying to reproduce that.” He hummed, focusing on his food, still smiling.

Nudging Rengoku’s elbow, I gestured for him to explain. Realizing he had forgotten to continue, he nodded, took my hand and scooted closer, his knee touching mine as he proceeded to explain all about the mark they had discovered; how Tanjirou had been the first one among them on which it had appeared, followed by Muichiro and Mitsuri. He added that when they returned from the village they had a meeting, but he could not attend it due to the state he was in; he was told they had decided to reproduce the conditions in which the mark appeared. “Giyuu told me young Tokito was the only one who was able to properly explain what had happened.” He said happily while taking another bite of his food—as he did so, his hand slid to my thigh and he absent-mindedly caressed it. “Young Tanjirou and Mitsuri lacked a way with words, and I heard it angered Sanemi, but they still managed to agree unanimously on the course of action to take, which was to work hard to reproduce those conditions.” He finished, nodding to himself.

Kyojuro tried to recall what else was important to say, but I interrupted him by leaning over, my hands resting on his opposite thigh while I looked in the court in shock. “Kyo- Kyo-” I hit his knee a few times, “The demon girl is in the sun! She shouldn’t-“ Sprinting out of the room, I crossed the veranda and rushed to her side. My bare feet hit the pebbles and grass full force, making me wince at each step. Upon reaching her side quicker than I expected, I took off my haori in panic and threw it on her. Both girls that accompanied her looked in confusion and waited a moment, so did I as I tried to catch my breath. “Get her back inside! Why are you letting her-“ Smiling in the most adorable way, the demon girl said my name and lifted the haori from her head to grin, “Thank you!” She seemed to be stammering, clearly struggling to speak but she continued, “I can walk—in the sun.” She pointed at the sky, in case I hadn’t understood her.

I stood there in awe and hesitantly removed the haori from her form, still frowning in confusion. Not knowing what to say, I stood in front of her, unmoving; she did not seem bothered and waited for me to ask anything or to leave, she was patient. “How?” I let out under my breath, my gaze never leaving her. Never in my years as a slayer had I seen this happen, it could change so much.

A hand on my shoulder startled me, a gasp leaving my lips. I recognized the feeling of the hand before turning around to look at the person. Rengoku slid his hand to rest it on my waist and pulled me closer, smiling. “Nezuko can now walk in the sun, she sacrificed herself for the village and for some reason, well…” He explained confidently, gesturing at her smiling face that he mirrored gladly. The two girls accompanying Nezuko tried to usher her away, but before leaving, the miraculous demon girl grabbed my hand and bowed, thanking me again before leaving. I smiled, unsure and embarrassed at my actions then bid her goodbye. “It does not make sense…” I muttered.

It made Rengoku laugh fully while he guided us back inside, “Do not worry, I do not understand either. I am simply very happy that young Tanjirou’s sister is getting better. His will to find a remedy to her condition is doing miracles, is it not?” He asked, his eyes ever so wide and bright. Staring back at him, for a moment I forgot what we were talking about and simply got lost in his beautiful eyes; I couldn’t help myself from cradling his face and kissing his cheek lovingly. “I missed your laugh, and your smile.” He beamed, flustered and happy, and cradled my face back to kiss my lips with just as much love, if not more. “So did I, my love. That does not mean I will go easy on you when we are training the recruits.” He winked before kissing my forehead and sitting back down to finish eating.

Once we were done eating, we went to train the recruits. It was good to be distracted for most of the day, only doing what your body told you to, which was to fight back. Since none of the present recruits of Rengoku’s had been able to hit him, he told them that if they could land a hit on me, he'd give them a chance to strike him. They were fueled up for some reason, probably thinking it would be easy, but I did not have that teacher aura Kyojuro had. I felt no regrets in tackling them to the ground when they did not think and would act rashly. It made their determination falter each time, only Rengoku’s words could cheer them up, “Come on, get up and fight!” he would say, or even, “Don’t back down in front of an obstacle! They hinder your path to toughen you up, stand tall and try again!” He indeed had a way with words and was the only reason the trainees still had hope, he kept their morale up. I admired him for doing so much for all of us.

I made sure to talk about it to him on that evening when we had eaten and were now walking outside under the stars, just like our first evening. “Kyo?” He perked up at his name, his hand tightening around mine with a hum echoing from his throat inquisitively. “Thank you, for being…” cheerful? Hopeful? Determined? Optimistic to a fault? “You. For being you. You are probably the sole reason those recruits think there is hope.” I said confidently, making him huff a laugh. He brought me closer, his steps slowly coming to a stop as he pulled me against him, his back now resting against the wall. “We are all working hard, every Pillar has hope we will make it through. Give them some credit, my dearest.” He said with a beautiful smile. I felt my cheeks heat up and shook my head, “I suppose you are right, I have yet to see them train them,” I started, placing my hand on the fabric on his chest where he delicately slid it under his kimono and onto his chest, a stupid smile adorning his features.

Ignoring his playfulness, I added, “I was talking to myself. Hearing you be so determined is getting to me, in more ways than one but mostly…” I trailed off, my eyes meeting his again. I removed the patch from his left eye and looked at both of them, smiling. “It seems you have managed to give me hope, and I cannot say it does not scare me.” Blinking in surprise, his eyes widened before glimmering with pure happiness. His hands that were resting on my lower back brought me in a tight hug that I returned in no time, “Fear is inevitable, but we have to work with it not against it. If it paralyzes you, find someone that will push you to take that one step, if it makes you lose your determination, find someone that will lend you their strength. And if it makes you lose yourself, then I’ll find you without failing.” He whispered, only I was meant to hear this, it was not a secret of any sort but that intimacy we had was not to be shared with the world. It was him and I, at this very moment it was just us, no one else around, we were alone together.

Wrapping my arms tighter around him, I felt my heart soar in reassurance and pure fear, a mix I could not get rid of no matter how hard I tried. Each passing moment spent with him made this entire fight scarier, I dreaded losing him, but I could not doubt his skills, and hearing him talk like that made me believe. “That way with words never disappears, does it…” I mumbled jokingly against his chest, the rumble of his laugh sending warmth coursing through my body. “Well, I would not want to lose it if we were to pair up to be great entertainers once this is all over.” He beamed; the idea I had thrown at him the night prior seemed to have stuck in his head. All while caressing my back, Kyojuro continued, slowly lowering us to sit on the parquet outside. “Since we both agree I am good with words, here are a few suggestions of very affectionate names you can call me,” His tone was light and humorous, but I knew he wanted to be called something and not just Kyo like I had found myself in the habit of doing a lot recently.

“My love seems to be obvious enough, dear and dearest are definitely agreeable,” He nodded, pondering for more, I looked up from kneeling between his legs and felt my lips curl into a smile as he continued, “My heart, definitely love that one-“ Seeing my face, his expression was suddenly flustered, and he continued a bit more quickly, “I do not mind if you prefer to call me Kyo! I am simply throwing ideas-“ “Sunshine?” I cut him off, grinning. “Would that be alright? After all, you are like the sun, warm, bright and your smile does brighten my day. I would say it is suitable.”

He turned shy, for a moment I had rendered him mute. The first time I had a very silent Rengoku in front of me was on that beautiful gentle summer night with his gaze locked on mine. The smile on his face was growing silently as he looked at me with an emotion I could not quite decipher, but he got himself together fast and leaned over enthusiastically, making me lean back in surprise, his face was now almost touching mine, “I love it. I love you, I love your idea, say it again!” he breathed a small “please” without ever looking away. Knowing that I had all his attention, I could not help but feel my body heat up, there was no reason to feel embarrassed, but I still suddenly felt awkward. “Sunshine, would you please kiss me?” I said softly, not wanting to wake everyone up. We were outside and seeing where we had walked, I believe we were outside Uzui’s room.

Clasping his hands on my cheeks, he kissed me once, twice, three times, then kissed my forehead, my cheekbones, I had to stop him. “Enough, enough, sunshine-“ “Say it again, louder! It is such a sweet name, I do not believe I will ever get enough of it, say it again.” He pressed in such a cute way, his hands wandering to mine as he helped me stand up while doing it himself. Chuckling, I shook my head and whispered back, “No, we should head back and get some sleep. I would not want to wake everyone up.” I said with another huffed laugh when his expression fell and he pouted innocently, it left his face when Uzui slid his door open and gave us an angry look, “I’m not in the mood to hear you two be cute and shit, go the fuck to sleep.” His speech was slurred, his hair disheveled, he looked different, but he clearly sounded like his usual self, grumpy and scolding.

Laughing, Rengoku nodded and bowed him goodnight before pushing him back inside and closing the door, he did not miss the opportunity to say a bit louder and playfully, teasingly, “What a grumpy old man, no wonder he retired-“ “I will gut you, Ren!” Uzui’s grumble echoed when the door slid open brusquely before we rushed back to our room, stupid giggles muffled in our mouths as we tried to keep in it while running. We held back until we reached the bedroom where we burst out laughing, I had to shush Kyojuro seeing how his face was turning redder from laughter, he fell to his knees still laughing. I knelt in front of him and covered his mouth, still chuckling myself, albeit more discreetly. “Stop, you are impossible— breathe through your nose you foolish man.” I told him with a smile, shaking my head when he wasn’t stopping. I waited for him to calm down to free his mouth and see how out of breath he was from his fit of laughter.

“Feeling impish tonight, are we?” I asked when he had calmed down and was now sitting properly in front of me. With a beautiful, childish smile, he nodded, “He interrupted our moment, I do believe some payback was due.” He said jokingly before leading us to the futons we had placed next to one another to have enough space for the two of us. “Well, I could have done without running more after such a long day, you are lucky you have a pretty face. It must have saved you from a lot of trouble during your childhood.” I said lightly. Bringing my pillow next to Rengoku’s, I settled comfortably; for a moment I hesitated laying my hand on his stomach to cuddle up to him, he grabbed my hand and placed it on him wordlessly and replied, “If you like my pretty face, you should see Senjurou’s! He is the cutest little brother—he would like to become a swordsman!” “Like his big brother? It is understandable, you must be quite the role model.”

There was a short pause, “He likes to help people, and I suppose all he has known is my father and I being swordsmen… However, I believe he would make a great healer, I wish he could see things my way.” Humming pensively, I pondered his words, perhaps just as he was. Senjurou probably wanted to take down demons, that’s all he has heard his entire life so I said, “If we take down Muzan, there will be no need for him to learn swordsmanship.” The hand resting on my waist gripped it even tighter when Rengoku turned his face to look at me from an odd angle, I could see his smile even like that. “You are right!” he muttered it again, then added, “We will change things, no matter what.” He said, determined. I held back my darker thoughts, not liking the words he had spoken. I knew him, his will and his determination knew no bounds, I was aware he was ready to sacrifice his life if it meant winning, and that is the exact reason why I did not want to think about it.

If the opportunity to sacrifice himself does not show, he will not die… I will make sure of that.

We talked more about Senjurou afterwards, falling asleep quite fast.

After that first day, a routine had settled. In the morning we would wake up at ungodly hours and have a peaceful breakfast—or as peaceful as it can be with the older Shinazugawa brother yelling at his pupils. Once we were done, we would go to the open court and see some of our recruits going to train with a different Pillar once they had reached the goal set for them. It was nice to be busy the entire day, it cleared the mind somehow by filling it with tasks easy to manage. Breaks were given during training, it allowed me to spend some relaxing time with Kyojuro. It would not always be quiet, recruits would sometimes come in and ask questions, forcing us to be more discreet in our display of affection to not make them feel awkward. A few times I was the one called away from training, by the Pillars that were already here at the mansion to try to have me awaken the mark, each time was in vain.

The time I had been told that someone had come to visit and I had to bring her to Master Ubuyashiki was the first time I had seen her and got caught off guard when I understood she was a demon. I had to walk with her alone through the forest to reach the estate in which the Master was resting. He had decided to lay far away from us, to keep the worry away. My guard was back up quite quickly, but I greeted her nonetheless and brought her to the room of the young Master. I had never seen the state he was in until now, it broke my heart to see him so incapacitated; his condition had worsened, and I knew from my gut’s feeling that he would not last long. Both the demon woman—I later learned her name was Tamayo—and I were conveyed to come nearer. Following the Master’s orders, we shuffled closer and sat by his side. He had said my name first, taking my hand in his and smiling kindly. I could not see his eyes because they were bandaged, but I knew how kind his eyes were, how gentle the young man was, and I felt it in how warm his hands were.

“I can feel your uncertainty my child, your aura is disturbed. So is your heart?” It felt like a déjà-vu to hear someone mention my troubled aura. The man depended on more than his eyesight to read people, just like Gyomei did, but I was always amazed at how good he was at it. Glancing at Tamayo, I felt a bit shy having this conversation with Master Ubuyashiki with her there, but I hummed, “Do not trouble yourself, I am more than focused on training and fighting, I will not falter on the battlefield.” I stated, determined. His delicate laugh echoed, it slowly turned into a cough; Nichika, who had been by his side the entire time, helped him sit up and handed him a handkerchief. Drinking some water after his coughing fit seemed to have helped a bit, at least enough for him to smile kindly and say, “Reliable as always. Perhaps you should be focused on getting your mind off things? I am certain someone would be more than willing to help distract you…” He trailed off playfully.

Feeling my cheeks heat up, I gave him a look of surprise, knowing full well he was being mischievous on purpose. My delayed response made him smile. “Young Master, I am sure you have more important things to do than worry about my... romantic affairs." I replied diplomatically, still at loss as to why he would mention Rengoku. The blind man chuckled once more, “I have important matters to attend to, indeed, however I care about the wellbeing of all my children.” He explained, ever so caring. I took a moment to ponder, perhaps too long since he added on a humorous note that had an underlying serious tone, “Would you indulge in a dying man's curiosity?” Gasping silently, I felt a knot form in my throat and held back from saying “You are not dying” out of despair. He was, we had been told since the very beginning he would not live long, but being reminded of it truly stomped my mood for a short moment.

“Hopefully I’ll satisfy your curiosity enough to bring you back.” I said playfully, albeit sadly too. He would not want us to treat him differently, and he was very close to us in age after all; I was allowed to be slightly playful. With that, I proceeded to tell him about everything. Tamayo even partook in the conversation; I was surprised to see how kind she was and how knowledgeable too. Calling the both of us together was odd, but seeing how the Master and Tamayo got along I suppose he needed some company. At first that was what I thought, yes, until he dismissed me once we were done, and his expression turned more stern when he looked back at Tamayo. She was the important matter he had to attend to, she had an important part to play in this fight and he had to make sure she was ready.

After that meeting, I returned to my lover and tried to distract my darkening mind. I had a hard time getting rid of the negative thoughts that plagued it, but being with him helped; it was easier to forget about everything when he started gushing about Tanjirou’s prowess in training, he was passing all the tests at an incredible speed which amazed more than one.

That was added to the routine, I could never emphasize enough how much I needed those relaxing moments in the evening when we would talk absent-mindedly about everything and anything as if everything was normal. As if an inevitable death was not coming, as if we were sure we had a tomorrow after the final fight.

Days went by fast; the routine was only broken a few times. One time when one of the swordsmiths had made its way to the estate with a well-wrapped sword in hand, I rushed to their side and knew from the determined steps and the mask who it was. “Hotaru, to what do we owe the pleasure of-“ “What else but a sword? I can’t believe how easy it is for all of you to ruin the beautiful swords we make. Do you not realize the amount of time put into making those beauties!?” He grumbled, as usual. Ignoring his complaints, I offered to bring the sword to the one who needed it, but he pulled back and said he would do it himself, adding “There is no way your brute hands are touching this masterpiece, get me the Fire Pillar, he’s the birdbrain who broke his sword.” Tilting my head to the side, I tried to recollect when it could have happened and felt very defensive suddenly. “I do believe that birdbrain took the most damage when your village got attacked, did he not?” I stood tall in front of the strong man, knowing full well he could take me down too, but I did not budge.

“Are you a guard dog or something? Just get me the Fire Pillar—you know what, I’ll get him myself.” He pushed me aside to try and find Rengoku himself; instead, both of us bumped into the man in question when I tried to grab him to stop him from walking away. An annoyed sound escaped Hotaru, he was very close to throwing a fit when he saw the man in front of him, his posture straightening as he bowed and handed the sword with his arms extended in front of him. “Do not break it this time.” He simply said. Kyojuro met that remark with laughter, he was careful in removing the cloth and grabbing it before skillfully twirling it around once he had stepped back. “It is so much lighter! Thank you so much-“ “Don’t be sweet, look at the hilt, you better thank me for that.” Doing as he was told, Rengoku paid attention to the hilt that I now noticed had changed. It was still a vibrant color, but it was a different shape.

Hotaru handed the old hilt to Rengoku, “I kept it since you seem like the sentimental type-“ the grumpy man was interrupted by the lion-like man’s tight hug after he had sheathed his sword away. The entire interaction was painful to see, the swordsmith had to push away from Rengoku’s tight hug with brute force; even if I could not see his face, I felt like he did not mind, if he had he would have beaten the blond up. “Do you know how hard it was to make that hilt?”

I interrupted, “A poppy? It seems simple enough.” “Oh, it’s not hard, but when the wounded, half-asleep idiot,” He smacked Rengoku on the top of the head, making the younger man wince, “...who requested it only described it as the red one, the flower at the top of the hill, well, it makes the entire process harder.” Upon hearing his words, I met Kyojuro’s gaze and felt my cheeks heat up, but I held back from speaking. Hotaru did not. His eyes jumped from my lover to me, at least that is what I think they were doing since all I could see was his face going from the Fire Pillar to me, “I’ll be taking my leave,” he said awkwardly, all the anger having left his voice suddenly. He grabbed Ren by the collar and brought him close to whisper something I could not hear before bowing and bidding us farewell.

Once he was gone, I joined Rengoku’s side and asked, “Why did you choose a poppy?” I had a feeling I knew why, yet I could not bring myself to assume it was about me. “Why do you think, songbird?” a stupid smile made its way to my lips, I knew it, but I could not stop it. Nor could I stop myself from touching the hilt of the sword, taking a good look at it instead of looking at Kyojuro. “It is the flower you gave me at the fireworks-“ “The first flower, I plan on giving you many more! But you are very correct.” He said happily, tilting my head up to look at him before kissing me softly. I kissed him back longingly then broke the kiss, my hands having slipped to his shoulders without me realizing it. “It is a coincidence too, but the meaning of poppies is dreams, luxury, and other things too. But the most important thing is!” He grinned and leaned over, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear, “That you are a dream come true and definitely all I can dream of.”

He pecked my cheek gently, looking at me with the proudest expression that had ever crossed his face. “Smugness is a fine look on you, I have yet to decide if it was smooth or corny.” I smirked, bumping his shoulder with mine to signal we should return to the recruits who had not stopped working. Looking at Rengoku who was now walking behind me, I thought all the sweet things he would do or say made me swoon without exception. It was all those small things that made me want to have all of him. I held back of course, as hard as it was, but it was good practice to act more… civilized, instead of displaying affection openly in front of everyone.

Time went on as usual afterwards, the trainees were improving greatly. Not all of them had the same pace, some were slower and others, like Tanjirou and Inosuke, surprised all of us with the speed at which they were improving. I found some resemblance between Genya’s and Tanjirou’s mindset, not exactly the same but something similar at least. I had not talked enough with Inosuke to understand what his motive was, but I knew both Genya and Tanjirou wanted to protect the one they loved. The birthmark boy was determined to find a cure for his sister, while Genya was dead set on proving Sanemi he was worthy. It always pained me to see how Sanemi treated his brother, even after the many attempts the latter did to show he was not useless.

As if I had manifested it, while walking back to the room I shared with Rengoku, I was thrown on the ground when a body hit mine. I let out a grunt, but did not have time to complain before the body moved from my form, and I was able to move the door that had been kicked from its position and had landed on the ground. The soft voice of Tanjirou then echoed, “Stop this!” What is going on? I thought as I observed without interrupting, stepping back to let them talk. Listening more, it seemed like Sanemi was using brute force once again to make Genya understand he should leave the corps. There was no need for me to interrupt, seeing how Tanjirou was defending Genya beautifully, but while his words were deep and meaningful, Sanemi did not do emotional.

He did violence. It’s all he knew. And it showed when the brunette’s words reached him enough to annoy him, his usual frown was deepened into a scowl. Only seconds after, he was grabbing him by the throat and lifting him from the ground. “I’ll incapacitate you first, if not him.” He gritted through his teeth; I saw Zenitsu grab Genya’s hand before running away with him while the recruits around stared in shock. I was the first one to stand up, they followed my motion and jumped on him to stop him from attacking Tanjirou; there was nothing much he could do against all the recruits, so he let go of the brunette. Once the latter was out of sight, I ordered all the trainees to leave and was left with a seething Sanemi. Without wasting much time, I dropped my haori and tied my sleeves out of the way. “You utter moron, when will you learn that it is not the proper way to express your affection to your brother?” I spat.

He scoffed, pulling out his sword—I did the same; it was different than the training in the dojo because this time he was filled with ire. “What affection? I don’t have a brother.” “Then why do you care if he is in the corps?” I asked, frowning. He ran at me with full speed and as usual, a dance ensued. Dodging, slashing, dodging, kicking, those were the steps, the tempo was set erratically by his thoughtless actions, completely letting the frustration lead. “You’re always so fucking nosy, let me deal with my shit.” He grunted; I had a hard time believing his constant nonchalance. If I took a good look at him, I could see the worry painted in his eyes, how he hated the choices his brother made, how he wished he could do something. But being unable to do anything made him react in the most idiotic ways.

“It stops being your shit the moment you start harming the people you’re supposed to train, understood?” I said sternly. His gaze turned into a mocking one as he slashed my way again, “I don’t see how that’s your problem, you’re not a Pillar, you’re not that great at fighting, you’re nothing, you have nothing to do-“ “Oh, I did not know we were going down the petty road.” I stated before blocking his hit, I tried to grip his hand and open it to make him drop his sword, but he held tight and scoffed. I continued, “You are being so reckless and immature. It is surprising, even coming from you.” His words echoed in the back of my head, but I fought them by wording more positive thoughts out loud, with a scoff, “I thought it above you to use your status as a show of power, do you not realize I am still standing even after all your attacks?” Those were the wrong words to speak. His stance changed drastically, I quickly understood he was serious now and not just letting the steam out.

There was no helping the nervous giggle that escaped my lips. He was not thinking at all, he was blinded by rage he had built up on his own, he was running at me like a fool, clearly not caring if he got hit by my sword. The best thing I could do was twirl my sword around so that the hilt would hit him instead of the blade. Only seconds after, upon impact I was thrown to the ground. The tip of his sword was grazing my throat, I did not dare breathe. “Shut your fucking mouth, fuck you’re annoying, can’t you keep your head down and-“ “Sanemi, my friend, it’s enough.” The grey-haired man did not glance at the voice that was heard, I did not dare look either in fear he would act during that split second and kill me or perhaps because I just wanted to keep an eye on him.

“Drop the sword, my friend.” Rengoku’s gentle yet stern voice reached my ears again, I knew he would not let me get hurt but I also wanted to yell at him for trying to talk sense into the fool that had a blade at my throat. Sanemi’s response was to grin wider, I did not have time to see that smile widen into a manic laugh that he was kicked off of me. I was fast to sit up and crawl backwards to the veranda to let them fight. The Wind Pillar stood up fast, his expression thrilled, “Rengoku, get the fuck out of my way. Your diplomatic fuck needs to learn when to-“ he was cut off by the Fire Pillar punching him in the face and bringing him down by hooking his foot around the angry man’s ankle. “Watch your mouth, the girls are watching!” His tone was light, but his expression, from what I could see on the side, was dead serious. I saw from the corner of my eyes Kiyo, Naho and Sumi peeking from behind the wall, ever so worried. Returning my eyes to the men in front of me, I scooted to stand in front of the girls in case they decided to continue fighting.

The ginger gripped the wild man’s collar and lifted him from the ground, his smile disappearing slowly as he leaned in, “You made two mistakes, the first one was attacking your brother, your blood, the boy who is trying so hard to be worthy for you. What kind of role model are you? Do you not realize the luck you have to have him by your side? Fix this, or you will regret it.” He spoke from experience, not that he had a bad relationship with his brother, but he missed him, and I knew he was working hard to be the best role model for Senjurou. Rengoku was a man keen on bonds, on keeping good relationships with people and never in his life would he let things get this bad with his brother. I could read it in his eyes how angry he was at Sanemi for acting like this. Sanemi kept his mouth shut, which was a step forward to calming him down since he was now listening, “The second was fighting dishonorably.” He spat before letting go of Sanemi's collar and gesturing for him to follow, “Let’s finish this somewhere else. Only then will you return to your recruits.” It was not a suggestion.

Watching them leave, I did not say anything. I started thinking of how to thank him for having my back, but as I thought so, Rengoku called my name, getting my attention, “Do not forget our recruits! Get up and go train them, I will join you shortly, my love.” He winked with his usual grin, my face suddenly felt hot at the name he had used in front of so many people, it made him laugh. While the girls patted my shoulders, telling me to get up, I saw Rengoku hit the back of Sanemi’s head while they walked towards the forest. How quick were they to get friendly again? I suppose Ren had that effect on people, he was calming to be around and forgiving too, it was hard to feel bad around him.

That fight was quickly forgotten, everyone had other things to think about. Most of the recruits thought it was usual for the Wind Pillar to be mad like that and were not even disturbed. Only the other Pillars and Tanjirou’s little clique knew what had truly happened and that Sanemi and Genya were in fact brothers. It was not an information everyone needed to know, hence it was kept for very few people to know.

The countdown until the fight with Muzan was going; in the blink of an eye, we had reached the day before the fight. It was not a day of festivities, we had all agreed on winning and only then would we be celebrating. We were fully aware that we would not all be there by the end of it, but none of us would mention it. It was an unspoken fact, one that wandered about, weighing the air we breathed, making everything more glum. No matter how hard we tried, we were aware of it, even if it was just in the back of our minds while we waited for the time to leave the estate and head to the territory before sundown.

It was hard not to think about it, people were playing games, others had gone to sleep the day away. I found myself walking about the estate in the late afternoon, not knowing what to do and overheard a discussion I knew I should not have heard. Perhaps getting caught off guard at the mention of Shinobu killing herself was what made me let my stealth down. My name was called by the delicate, strained voice of Kocho telling me to come in. I had to take a moment to calm down and slithered inside, my mouth shut tight when I felt a wave of sadness rush over my body. She proceeded to explain the strategy she had in mind to kill the demon that had killed Kanae, her sister. I paid attention, trying to find a fault in her strategy, trying to find anything to convince her to change her mind but it made sense. She knew what she was doing, she was determined, I hated it, I felt heavy in my chest. She taught me a lot, she was not my closest friend but we were close enough for me to feel this pain.

At the end of her explanation, she smiled at Kanao and dismissed her. I was about to follow when she told me to stay seated. We then waited for the younger girl to leave. Once we were sure she was away, I breathed out, “Is this a goodbye, Shinobu?”

She hummed. I looked up from my lap and saw her strained smile, her determination was unwavering, she knew what she had to do but I saw her hands clenched on her lap. “There is no way to change your mind, is there?” She shook her head, her smile still present, her eyes closed with wrinkles at the corners from how hard she was forcing that smile on her face. “There is no need to act tough with me, you have seen me cry many times. I believe it is fitting to cry on your last day alive, don’t you think?” Those were the words that made her crumble. In an instant, I was in front of her and was holding her tight as she mumbled it was the right thing to do but it is hard to let down Kanao, to leave her alone in this world. “Alone? There is no way I am dying out there, I will keep an eye on her. And you are not letting her down, you are doing what is most honorable, she will battle by your side resolutely.” Shinobu was not one to cry, she did not stay in my arms long. As she pulled away, she smiled to herself sadly, “I wish to be the only one who dies out there.”

I could not promise that, we were going to lose many people, I knew that, she knew that, we all knew that. “But it will not be that easy,” she continued, lifting her head to look at me with a sincere gaze, “I will welcome those who will fall during battle, no one will be alone. You must stay alive and keep living, no matter what.” It sounded like she was repeating herself, but I knew what she meant. Do not let the darkness take over, do not lose your mind over the losses this battle will bring. “That is quite a huge favor, I am not sure-“ “You will, you have to. You are the one who has the most to look forward to once this is over.” There was no need to remind me of that, if I had things to look forward to, it meant I had things to lose and that scared me. So, I tried to distract myself and chuckled, “Do you wish to hear a funeral speech? I am not very familiar with living funerals, but I can try if you wish.” That made her laugh; thus, I spent the following hour with her. Making jokes, bantering and remembering the good times. It did not make the goodbye any easier but it was nice.

At around 4 in the afternoon, the sun was still high in the sky, so we still had a few hours or so in front of us before the plan Master Ubuyashiki had set would take place. For those remaining hours, I had called Rengoku to our chambers and decided to spend as much time with him as possible.

Upon entering our chambers, Rengoku undid his kimono and started stripping without much care, “Do you believe we should dress for the occasion? A battle like this calls for-“ “It is a simple battle, a battle we will win. Nothing has to be different; it is but a bigger demon.” I stated, looking away from his naked form. Did I believe the words I had spoken? Barely, but I needed to hear them, even if it was last minute, I needed to convince myself it was going to be alright. “You are very right; I see you are already dressed in your slayer attire.” He noticed, his voice soft and carefree. It probably was an act, but I enjoyed it, I needed it. As I looked down at my black outfit, I felt a whiplash at the realization of how close we were getting to that fight we had been preparing for so long.

Ignoring my thoughts for the umpteenth time, I gestured for Rengoku to follow me as I moved to the cabinet and grabbed a comb and a ribbon. He understood and sat in front of me, ready for me to take care of him. I did so in silence rather quickly, his hair was a lot less tangled than usual, as if he had taken the habit to brush it. It made me smile for a short moment as I threaded my fingers through his hair. Once I was done, I threw his braid over his shoulder and as if on cue, “With that, I’m sure to win! Nothing will get in my way.” He said enthusiastically as he stood up before saying, “I am quite glad it is the last time we are wearing this attire.” He pinched his shirt to emphasize when we stood up, but I interrupted him and glared at him, not thinking twice before saying, “Do not say that! We will win!” A lie, I did not believe those words, why was I getting that desperate? Why only now?

Rengoku’s eyes widened as he finished buttoning up his shirt; he then walked up to me and cradled my face to smoosh my cheeks and stare at me for a long time. “I meant that once we have defeated Muzan, there will be no need for the corps. We will retire, in a beautiful house near a big field.” He said, never letting go of my face.

I stared back, feeling stupid for my outburst. He was right, but deep down I knew that no matter the outcome, it was the last time we would wear this uniform. Kyojuro must have read my mind, or read my expression, my gaze getting lost in his from overthinking the situation. “Please, stop overthinking.” “I can’t do that. My mind is riddled with anxiety, I am conflicted between blindly trusting our skills or getting used to the idea we are all going to die.” I said, tears pricking the corner of my eyes. Rengoku’s brows knitted together in sadness at seeing me like this. I moved his hands away from mine to wipe the tears to calm down, thinking he should not have to carry the weight of my gloominess out on the battlefield. But I could not help the words from flooding out of my mouth, “I am so afraid of losing you, there is so much more I wish we had done, I regret not-“ “Stop right there,” He pulled me close to him and held me so tight I thought I would break. His head was resting on my shoulder as he hugged me in a bone-crushing embrace. “There is no regret; all that has happened, happened the moment it should have.”

Still holding me tight, he said, “Perhaps fate has other plans for us, perhaps it will try to separate us, but I love challenges, and if I have to defy fate to be with you, I will do it.” I laughed at that, knowing it was impossible, but this man was known for doing the impossible. He was himself impossible, untamable in the best way, the freest mind I had ever encountered. If there was one person who could go against fate and win, it would be him. “I would like to say the same, but at best I will defy Muzan himself, fate seems a bit too hard to beat but-“ “Easy enough for me! I am very skilled,” He said happily, his hands moving to mine as he pulled me with him, our arms extended lazily in front of us as he dragged me around the room all while talking, “I once caught a fish with my bare hands—well it jumped right back in the river, but I caught it!” He said cutely, almost tripping onto the futon behind him, I quickly pulled him towards me and held him close as I looked at him fondly.

“Skilled? Your balance is lacking, perhaps you should have taken dancing lessons.” I said playfully, one of my hands moving to his shoulder while one of his slid to my waist, bringing my hips closer. “My mother taught me how to dance, she was the most delicate when dancing with beautiful flowery dresses,” He smiled genuinely before kissing me and whispering, “Sing me a song, I will show you.” Lost in his glimmering eyes, I simply looked at him in awe, enjoying the warmth of his hands on my body. After a few moments had passed, he reiterated with a chuckle, that’s when I asked, “A song—yes. Which one? I know so many, maybe-“ “The one you were singing when I woke up the first time.”

Taken aback, I gulped and nodded, taking a few seconds to compose myself before starting. It was not made to be a concert, no, it was loud enough for both of us to enjoy and bathe in the serenity it brought us. As I sang, he brought my head to his chest and hummed along, a few notes were off but it made my heart burst with love to know how much he remembered it. I could hear his heartbeat and I hated myself for thinking it could be the last time I did so. Must it be so hard to brandish a sword and defend the ones you love? Must the price of failure be their death? How did we end up here, risking our lives for something none of us had asked for? For a moment, I wished we had been in a reality where we were entertainers, something we were anything but.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks, my words had come to a stop for I was now simply humming and so was Kyojuro. His head was resting against mine and we were slowly waltzing across the tatami, enjoying the moment, perhaps our last together. His embrace was like home, a home I did not wish to leave, it was welcoming and reassuring, a place I wanted to protect and go back to when this was over. It made my heart twist in the most horrible way at the thought of not being able to, of being alone without him by my side, of not hiring a painter to follow us on our adventure, of not having a dog with a silly name. “I am in love with you, please do not die, sunshine.” I sobbed against his chest, his arms tightening around my shoulders as he reassured me.

His answer did not stop the tears and was carved in my mind even hours later, after the explosion of the mansion in which Muzan was, after the Pillars had run there to help, after we had split in teams to all go to our assigned area. The words flashed vividly in my mind as I set foot on the battlefield, shambles surrounding us,

“Let’s live on, let’s do our best to live on, no matter how lonely it gets.”

[Part 9]

[blitzturtles]

Title: Can't Fix Everything

Rating: Teen and Up

Fandom: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable (Future Fic)

Pairing(s): JotaHan

Summary: Jotaro frowns when he rings the doorbell and no one answers. It’s not as though he’s unexpected. He and Rohan had discussed this beforehand, but he knows that it’s entirely possible that Rohan got too caught up in his work. That he’s got his eyes glued to the pages with such a hyperfixation that he hadn’t even heard the doorbell going off.

Notes: When I went to write the ‘Flail Chest’ piece, I couldn’t make up my mind if I wanted it to be with Jotaro or Josuke, so here’s the Jotaro version (if it can be called that. Same injury, very different story.) Ngl, kind of frustrated with the end, but I've been sitting on this for a few weeks now.

[Copy and pasted from the Josuke version: Unimportant bit of trivia: the first rib fixation for adolescent flail chest wasn’t actually done until ~2006, but this is fic, so fuck it.

Flail chest: When a section of the chest wall becomes detached due to the ribs being broken in two or more places. The treatment for this can be a wait and see method (with pain management and physical therapy), but there’s also rib fixation, which is a surgical procedure that can help dramatically reduce short and long-term complications.

The rib injury is canon; the extent of it in this fic, not so much.]

-

Jotaro frowns when he rings the doorbell and no one answers. It’s not as though he’s unexpected. He and Rohan had discussed this beforehand, but he knows that it’s entirely possible that Rohan got too caught up in his work. That he’s got his eyes glued to the pages with such a hyperfixation that he hadn’t even heard the doorbell going off. At least, that’s what Jotaro tells himself. How he tries to rationalize the lack of response.

Unfortunately, too many years on this earth-- facing some of the worst creatures to have ever disgraced her surface-- means that Jotaro has a good idea when he’s being pointlessly paranoid and when his ‘gut feeling’ is something to be taken seriously, and he’s feeling the latter right about now.

Star breaks the door’s lock with a particularly nasty twist of the knob. It’s nothing Jotaro can’t fix with a quick trip to the hardware store later, but that doesn’t matter right now.

“Rohan?” He calls into the seemingly empty house. The majority of the lights are off, and there’s no movement. No sound, and it’s far too early for Rohan to consider bed, which means he’s either closed in his studio or gone.

Jotaro makes a beeline for the familiar door that leads to Rohan’s sanctuary. It’s possible Rohan went out on a whim. Impulse control isn’t exactly his strong suit, especially when it might be something related to his manga, but it’s smarter to check the one place Rohan haunts most in life before bothering with anywhere else.

The door is unlocked, which doesn’t necessarily mean anything, though it doesn’t stop Jotaro’s heart from hammering away in his chest. There’s a flash of red across his vision, like a filter of blood, but he shakes it off in favor of taking in the room. He can’t let his past trauma affect him now.

Or maybe he can, because there Rohan is. On the floor, huddled partway beneath his desk. There’s a low whine that accompanies the screwed up features, and it’s all Jotaro needs to know that Rohan is in pain. A significant amount of it.

“Fuck,” Jotaro grinds out. He makes his way to Rohan quickly. Star Platinum itches to freeze time. A natural reaction to walking into an obviously bad situation with little information to work with, but Jotaro won’t waste the opportunity. They might only have one shot to work with, and he can’t waste it before he even knows what he’s walked into.

Carefully, he crouches in front of Rohan, His eyes don’t quite fixate on the mangaka. Instead, he’s too busy taking in their surroundings, searching for a threat.

Rohan startles and yelps. “What the fuck?” He grinds out after the initial shock washes over both of them.

“I could ask you the same thing. What happened?” Jotaro demands. His gaze shifts to Rohan. It’s a raking thing. Slow and deliberate as he searches for any sign of injury. There’s no blood that he can see. No limbs twisted horrifically out of place, and no holes punched where they don’t belong. Jotaro doesn’t allow himself to relax. There’s obviously something wrong; he just hasn’t figured it out yet.

“Ribs,” Rohan breathes out after a moment of hesitation. The mere effort of talking leaves him struggling for air.

Jotaro’s frown deepens, and he tunes out the rest of the world to focus on Rohan.

“Let me see.”

“No.”

“Rohan.”

“Go away.”

“Kishibe,” Jotaro grinds out. He doesn’t have time to put up with Rohan being a toddler when he could have a punctured lung.

“Fine,” Rohan concedes, though doesn’t move.

Jotaro sighs and carefully maneuvers Rohan onto his side. He uses Star’s hands as a cushion between Rohan’s body and the floor. A gentle effort to avoid making the situation worse, and, for once, Jotaro is incredibly thankful for Rohan’s penchant for crop tops. It’s a convenience-- rather than a nuisance and a distraction-- in a time like this.

Slowly, Jotaro pushes the fabric out of the way, and he sucks in a sharp breath out of sympathy the moment he gets an eyeful of the bruising that’s blossomed across Rohan’s side.

“That Stand got you right in that old wound of your’s, huh?” Jotaro asks. He barely resists the urge to reach out and touch the scars hidden underneath the black and blue mess. He’s known about their existence for a while, though Rohan rarely lets him lay eyes on them for more than a few seconds at a time.

There’s three scars in total, and each one runs the length of a rib, starting at Rohan’s sternum and wrapping around midway to his spine. A childhood injury from a freak accident that still causes unnecessary pain.

(”Why not just let Josuke heal you?” Jotaro remembers asking the first time he caught a glimpse of the scars.

“Josuke can’t fix everything,” Rohan had answered, short and irritable.)

Jotaro wonders if Rohan would allow Josuke to help now. If only to take the edge off, but Jotaro will worry about calling his nephew later. For now, he’s more concerned with getting Rohan off the floor and checked over properly. Jotaro hadn’t seen Rohan take a hit, which means that he has no idea how hard it had been or what kind of damage they might be dealing with. There could be internal bleeding, a collapsed lung, or god knows what else. The bruising is extensive enough, and Rohan’s breathing is ragged. Too shallow and a touch uneven.

“What gave you that idea?” Rohan snarls at him, breaking Jotaro out of his thoughts. He forgot how ill-tempered the mangaka is when he’s hurting.

“Good grief,” Jotaro mutters, though he takes it as a positive sign that Rohan’s got enough fight in him to make this as difficult as possible.

As carefully as possible, he scoops Rohan up into his arms. It isn’t easy, given the location of the wound, but he only makes Rohan whimper rather than scream. That has to count for something.

The path to the bedroom is blessedly short, considering the size of Rohan’s house. Jotaro gently deposits the mangaka on his oversized bed and heads for the en suite bathroom to retrieve the bottle of prescription painkillers that he knows Rohan underutilizes whenever possible (Rohan doesn’t like what they do to his head, and Jotaro can’t say that he blames him). It takes some rummaging, but he manages to find the pills and a cup to pour some water into.

“Here,” Jotaro says once he returns to the bedroom. To his surprise, Rohan takes both the cup and the proffered pills without complaint. He swallows the painkillers dry and chases them down with the water before falling back against the pillows with a quiet groan.

Jotaro takes that as his permission to resume his earlier inspection. Once again, he rolls the edge of the crop top up and tries not to grimace at the sight that greets him. It’s definitely no better than before, not that he had expected it to be. There’s more bruising than not on the scarred side, and some of it has branched across, spreading to the other side. Despite how horrific it looks, Rohan’s breathing is mostly even. It’s obvious that he’s in pain and holding back, but the lung seems to be inflating properly, which is… something. Far from great, but definitely better than the alternative.

Slowly, Jotaro palpates the area. All while ignoring the squirming and gasped breaths that he gets from Rohan. At some point, Rohan has enough, and he tries to swat Jotaro away, but he pulls back before Rohan can reach him.

“I don’t think you’re bleeding internally,” Jotaro announces with a barely level tone. Relief edges his words despite his attempt to keep his tone even. He tries not to think of what could have happened if Rohan had been left alone, bleeding internally, and without any way to call for help. Jotaro chastises himself for not noticing the hit or its aftermath. How could he have missed something so obvious? He can’t imagine that Rohan had been able to fully hide it.

“Fantastic,” Rohan grits out with a roll of his eyes. The way he relaxes into the mattress gives him away, though. He’d been scared.

“I’m going to go get some ice for that. Do you need anything else?”

“No,” Rohan says too quickly. His fingers twitch, but he doesn’t speak up again. Jotaro takes that as his sign to go ahead, and he wanders downstairs and toward the kitchen.

The pantries are unsurprisingly bare, though Jotaro manages to find a baggie to put a decent amount of ice into. He grabs the hand towel off the counter to wrap the makeshift pack in and heads back upstairs, where he finds Rohan exactly where he left him. He hasn’t moved so much as an inch. It’s one more sign of the agony he must be in.

“Do you want me to call Josuke?” Jotaro asks, already knowing the answer. He passes Rohan the ice pack, figuring it will be better if Rohan places it himself. The cold is already going to make him tense up, and he doesn’t need the added pain.

“No.”

“He doesn’t have to see.”

“No.”

Jotaro gives a half shrug, “If you insist.”

“I do,” Rohan sniffs, snooty and irritated until he places the wrapped ice against his skin. He hisses and jolts away from it, but it only takes a moment before he relaxes and presses the pack that much closer. “Stop being a mother and lie down. ‘m not going anywhere anytime soon.” It’s not meant to be a reassurance, but Jotaro takes it that way anyways.

“I could call the Foundation.”

“Don’t you dare,” Rohan shoots back like Jotaro’s words had been a threat. They hadn’t. It’s an offer to have a specialist come to Rohan rather than to force Rohan to the hospital, but it doesn’t surprise Jotaro that he took it to be something else entirely.

“You’re wheezing,” Jotaro points out with the same frown he’s been wearing since he found Rohan on the floor.

“I’m fine. Get in this bed or get out.”

Jotaro can’t help thinking the words might hold more weight if Rohan weren’t practically wheezing them, but he decides to let the subject drop for now. There’s no apparent sign of an emergency. Yet. He’s not sure he can relax enough to get comfortable, but he does toe off his shoes. He rolls onto his side after another moment of contemplation. At least this position allows for him to keep an eye on Rohan without jostling him too much.

Rohan rolls his eyes, but he settles against the mattress with a half-shrug. A ‘suit yourself’ sort of gesture that’s far milder than the rest of his responses have been. His eyes slide shut and he keeps his hand firmly pressed to the ice he’s still holding to his side. His hold is still too tight, and his posture is too stiff. Jotaro wishes he could do more, but he knows how chronic pain goes. There’s really nothing more either of them can do now other than sit and wait for the medication to kick in. Rohan won’t see Josuke, and he’d probably bite Jotaro if the older man tried to take him to the hospital. Waiting is their only option, and time moves at an impossibly slow pace.

Nearly thirty minutes go by in complete silence. Rohan keeps his eyes stubbornly screwed shut, and Jotaro watches him unashamedly. The moment he thinks Rohan is getting worse, he’s dragging both of them to the nearest hospital, repercussions be damned.

Likewise, he keeps having to remind himself to take a breath. Rohan is alive and-- well, mostly-- breathing, granted it looks strained and painful, but it’s better than the alternative. Better than the rattle that Jotaro’s heard too many times before, and there’s no needless gasping. Only the occasional, low whine that manages to slip its way past Rohan’s thin-pressed lips.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, Rohan’s body begins to relax. His limbs go slack against the mattress, and his core sinks downwards. He’s no longer holding stiff as a board, and the difference is nearly palpable. Jotaro can see the moment exhaustion takes its hold over pain, and Rohan begins to slip under the blanket that is sleep.

Jotaro takes the risk of removing Rohan’s headband then. His fingers card through the mess of hair left behind. Rohan leans into the touch like it’s the best thing he’s felt in awhile, and it probably is, given what his body’s just gone through. Jotaro won’t deny him that bit of relief, so he continues to pet through Rohan’s hair until there are soft snores escaping the mangaka. Even then, he doesn’t stop. The last thing he wants is to accidentally wake Rohan up.

Eventually being curled on his side and having nowhere to go takes its toll. Jotaro’s eyelids grow heavier the longer he stays put, and he doesn’t bother to fight the sleep that settles in his limbs first and comes for his mind second.

[signalno5]

[01] In which you consider moving to Tokyo

Or (M/N) passes the fuck out.

(This chapter starts in March even though the Japanese school year starts in April because students still have to move into the dorms. Also this is my first fic ever so I’m not super sure if the formatting is okay, if there’s anything that should be fixed please tell me so.)

Warnings: Cursing, some cringe behavior jakshdka, one (1) innuendo

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Monday

March 26, 2012

God, the dorms are huge.

You think to yourself as you put your shoes away and put on a pair of slippers. You lug your bags past the genkan and into the empty common room, arms straining from the weight of it. It wasn’t exactly a new sight for you, having lived in the Shiratorizawa Junior High dorms in the past, but it was definitely bigger probably to take in account your growing teenage bodies or something. The miracles of youth...

Unfortunately, your room was on the 3rd floor and you still had a few more bags in the dorm's common room that you had to come back for once you've found your room. Your back would probably hate you after this. You sigh as you step onto the first flight of stairs, knowing that there was one more flight to go after this one. 

You take it on surprisingly well. (Ha, take that Michiko-sensei! My cardiovascular endurance isn’t nonexistent! Just miniscule!) 

This one wasn't too bad. In fact, it was actually pretty easy-

...

-By the time you get to the second flight, you're winded and put your bags down to rest for a second before continuing your perilous journey. You felt like your knees were gonna give out once you set your feet on the third floor. You suddenly regret speeding up after the first flight of stairs and bringing a lot of trinkets to decorate your room with.

Curse my own hubris and sentimentality.

You sure did hope that your roommate would be okay with all of your stuff being littered around the room. You felt a bit bad for the poor schmuck stuck with you for three years. You didn't really know much about your roommate. Heck, all you knew about the guy was his name.

 Goshiki Tsutomu

He didn't go to Shiratorizawa for middle school [1] unlike you so he was definitely a new face. You heard he was a student athlete too but you don't really know what sport he plays. Maybe baseball?

Your eyes scanned the metal plates for your room number, your last name or your roommate's last name. 

304.... 306.... Ah 308!

You set your bags down with a loud thud and rush to grab your keys to open the door but lo and behold it opens for you.

Oh crap, is that your roommate??? 

"Oh! You must be my roommate! Are you (L/N) (M/N)?", Goshiki says.

Woah mind-reader! He's cute and he looks kinda young even though he was taller than you. Maybe it's the bowl cut. Huh, yeah... You did have that hairstyle as a kid a well- Wait, dumbass say something!

"Um, hello! Yes, that's me! I'm (L/N) (M/N)! Pleased to make your acquaintance, Goshiki!"

Yeah, way to sound like a moron.

You bow at the waist respectfully in hopes that he forgets that you're an idiot. He bows back.

"Ah, same here (L/N)! I hope we get along well!"

As he straightens up from his bow, he takes one of your bags and pushes the doors wider, beckoning you into the room.

"Ah, thanks Goshiki.", you say with a wide smile directed straight at him, very much pleased that your roommate was such a nice guy and that there was less to carry.

"N-no problem!" 

At this, he sounds a bit flustered and shaky too. Huh, weird.

"So are you top or bottom?", you blurt out looking at the bunk beds [2] at the corner of the room.

Goshiki spluttered and reddened at this question. He seemed like he was about to combust. Only then have you realized what you just said.

Fuck, is Seijoh still accepting applications? Maybe you shouldn't have gone to Shiratorizawa.

"Wha-"

"BUNK! Are you top or bottom... bunk?", you end the question lamely wanting to just ask for a new roommate since you've already ruined any chance of being on good terms with this one.

"T-top."

"O-okay... That's great! I'm used to bottom bunk."

You look around the room desperately to find something, anything that could dispel the energy you've created in this dorm room. Your eyes land on the volleyball on the desk. Bingo.

"You play?", you gesture to the volleyball  that you spotted. Goshiki immediately brightens up and it's like nothing weird ever happened.

 Nice cover, (M/N)!

"Yeah! I'm a wing spiker actually... but one day, I'm gonna be Shiratorizawa's ace!", he says excitedly. His enthusiasm was infectious and you felt yourself smiling with him. 

"Well, good luck. You do seem like the type to be able to achieve something as ambitious as that."

You weren't usually one to give pep talk but you did genuinely believe him. He seemed nice and you wanted to cheer him on. You set your bag down at the foot of the bunk bed and sit on the bed to let your feet rest before you grab the rest of your stuff. 

Shiratorizawa sure has good funding, at least enough to keep the heaters on even though Spring is coming in. 

It was real pleasant and warm in the room. Like being under a kotatsu. It reminded you of waiting for the New Year… Hands idly peeling Oranges... Now you wanted Oranges….

Eyes getting droopy as you wait for the final ring of the bell at midnight. 

Eyes closing slowly.... Breaths evening....

"...-san!....(M/N)-san!"

"(M/N)-SAN!"

"OW!"

You're startled awake as your head bashes against the wall. 

Wait- awake? 

“(M/N)-san?”

Fuck, I fell asleep! What if someone took my shit? 

You quickly try to get up but your knees creak in protest. The grogginess from falling asleep makes you stumble in the dark dorm room but there's enough light for you to read the time on your watch.

 6:24 p.m. 

You were dropped off by your aunt at 2:30! How did you manage to sleep for so long? It was only two flights of stairs-

"(M/N)-san? Sorry for having to yell."

Your head snapped to the direction of the voice, only now noticing where the light in the room had been coming from. Goshiki was seated at his desk; he looked like he was watching something on his tablet before he woke you up. 

Oh it was just Goshiki. 

You almost breathe a sigh of relief that someone didn't break into your room.

"It's alright, I shouldn't have slept like that anyway. Thanks, Ace."

You take his silence as your cue to leave the room and grab the rest of your bags. Maybe, some dinner as well for you and Goshiki. Just to thank him, not because he's cute and nice. Definitely not that.

"Ah! (M/N), where are you going?"

Ah shit, is he going to tell me I'm a wimp because I passed out carrying bags? Maybe Seijoh isn't far enough... Miyagi is too small; if I start a new life in Tokyo, he'll never find me-

Right, answering questions!

"Ah, just heading down to the common room. I forgot the rest of my bags when I- uh... You know? Fell asleep?"

'"I'll help you out! I am gonna be the Ace after all so I have to take this chance to get stronger!"

Goshiki sets his tablet down and gets up from his chair. You see him put his slippers on and you wait for him to grab his keys so you can head out. 

"By the way Goshiki, thanks." 

You felt dumb for saying that out of nowhere.

Well it's not like it could be taken back and there's nothing really embarrassing about being grateful...

“It's no problem! Anything for a new friend!”, he says it so surely like he knew that you’d get along for the rest of high school. 

Friend.

You try to ignore how flustered you are and suddenly, you’re glad for how dark the room is.

( Later at night, you’d probably turn over the word in your head. Staring up at the ceiling, on which Goshiki’s bed is. Your mind repeating the word, friend...

Friend...

Friend. )

Maybe high school won't be too bad.

[1] I don't know if he was from Shiratorizawa junior high or not I kinda just assumed because in that one episode where it briefly shows young Goshiki, he's wearing a light blue and white jersey.

[2] I know that Goshiki's dorm room doesn't have a bunk bed ksnsjfhjsks i remember from the manga there were two single beds in his room unlike Ushijima's which has a bunk bed I just really like bunk beds hehe i used to jump off the top bunk then land on my parents bed which was next to it

[keigoslovebird]

Three’s Company

Pairing: Sakusa x Atsumu x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Manga spoilers and aged up characters, but that’s it. It’s very soft

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 2.5k

Author’s note: This is just something short and sweet that I wrote for a friend who wanted some fluffy Sakatsu. I realized there’s not much on this blog, so I wanted to upload a little something. A much longer Ushijima fic will be coming soon, so enjoy this little taste for now~

It’s nearing the end of the volleyball season and the Black Jackals are finishing up one of their final practices. This season has been one of the best in the team’s history, so they’ve decided to go out for dinner to celebrate.

Bokuto is still sweaty and out of breath when he claps a hand on Atsumu’s shoulder. “Hey Tsum-Tsum, is your girlfriend still coming to dinner tonight?”

“Sure is!” Atsumu confirms, smiling and giving him a thumbs up.

He shouts across the court to the man who’s quickly retreating to the showers. “You have a girlfriend too right, Sakusa?” Sakusa stops and turns to nod to him. “Will she be there?”

“Yes, she will.” 

Their teammates don’t notice the knowing look he exchanges with Atsumu.

“Great! We all get to meet both of your girlfriends tonight!” Hinata exclaims, his eyes shining with excitement.

“Yeah. Both.” 

--

You’re standing in the kitchen of your shared apartment, questioning your boyfriends with your hands on your hips. “You still haven’t told them?”

The taller of the two speaks first. “Why should we? Our personal lives aren’t any of their business.” 

You sigh, running a hand through your hair. “Omi, you know how some people react to relationships like ours.”

Atsumu reaches his arms out, a wordless gesture for you to come to him. You do, of course. “Babe what they think doesn’t matter,” he says, nuzzling the top of your head with his cheek. “The only people’s opinions who matter are standing right here.”

You nestle deeper into his broad chest. “I know, but… What if they don’t like me? What if they don’t like me with you, with both of you?” When you look up, both of your partners are looking at you with soft, reassuring eyes. 

“They will love you, we know they will. You’re so smart and beautiful and funny and you keep the both of us grounded.”

Sakusa brings your hand to his lips, gently kissing your knuckles. “Not that their opinion matters anyway. We love you and nothing they have to say will change how we feel.” It’s rare for him to speak so openly and poetically but when he does, it’s just what you need to hear.

--

Atsumu drives you to the restaurant, you in the passenger seat and Sakusa in the backseat. He initially protested when he was told he’d have to sit in the back, insisting that he’d drive by himself and meet everyone there. He eventually caved when the blonde told him how funny it will be when you all arrive together. 

Atsumu had also stolen his keys so he was forced to ride with you anyway.

When you pull up to the fancy restaurant your heart is in your throat and you’re nervously bouncing your leg. The man sitting next to you places his hand on your knee, stilling your anxious movements.

“Babe, don’t be nervous,” Atsumu reassures you, “They’re not nearly as intimidating as they seem.”

That’s when you spot a man, who you recognize is Bokuto, walking down the sidewalk. You assume it’s him based on all the times Sakusa has calls him a dumb owl with stupid hair. The rest of the team is following right behind him, each of the members looking more massive and daunting than the last. Each of them towers over the crowd of people, with the exception of the slightly smaller man with orange hair. Seeing them all in the flesh for the very first time causes insecurity to brew in your chest, feeling small and inadequate compared to the men who seem so much larger than life. They're so strong and talented and accomplished and successful and—.

Sakusa reaches for your hand from the backseat, lacing his long fingers with yours. “Everything will be fine. Don’t worry so much, alright?” You nod sheepishly and take a deep breath to steady your nerves and your racing heart.

The three of you step out of the car, making your way towards the restaurant together. When you enter, you aren’t looking where you’re going and end up smacking straight into a broad, muscular back. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” You squeak, bowing and sputtering apologies as fast as you can. 

The massive wall of a man turns, giving you a reassuring smile. “That’s quite alright. Don’t worry, I’m used to it.”

Atsumu comes up from behind you and offers his hand to the man, grinning. He takes it, giving your boyfriend a firm handshake. “Captain, fancy seeing you here.” He wraps a long arm around your waist, pulling you toward him. “I see you’ve already acquainted yourself with my lovely girlfriend,” he says, rubbing your shoulder affectionately. He turns to you, “Babe, this is Meian, the captain of the team.”

Meian bows at you and you return his gesture of acknowledgement. “It’s nice to meet you, Meian. Sorry for bumping into you again,” you say, rubbing the back of your head sheepishly.

Suddenly, there’s a flurry of activity and an outburst of shouts that makes you jump. Bokuto elbows his way through his team members, his spiky hair coming into view before his face.

“Hey hey hey! No fair Captain, I wanted to be the first one to meet Tsum-Tsum’s girlfriend!” He whines, pouting at his senior.

Atsumu pats him on the shoulder to try to calm him down. “Now, now Bokkun. Everyone on the team gets to meet her so it doesn’t matter who meets her first.”

You nod, bowing in his direction to introduce yourself. “Hello Bokuto, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” You look over at your boyfriend, smiling.  “Atsumu has told me so much about you.” 

Bokuto puts Atsumu in a one-armed headlock, giving him a noogie. “All good things I hope!”

You giggle as your boyfriend wrestles out of Bokuto’s grip, grumbling about his hair as he fixes it. “Of course!” you insist cheerily. 

Hinata, Inunaki, and the rest of the Black Jackals introduce themselves, names and respectful bows passed among your group.

All eyes snap to Sakusa as he makes his way through the mass of bodies, face twisted in disgust at how densely packed the restaurant is. “Sorry, I left something in the car.” He thrusts his hand at you, offering you your purse. “You forgot this in there too.” You gingerly take it from his outstretched hand, bracing yourself from the flurry of questions that are sure to erupt.

“Oh Omi-san, you drove here with them?” Hinata asks and Sakusa makes a noise of agreement. He suddenly gasps, “Did you make your girlfriend drive here alone!?”

Sakusa sighs and shakes his head. “Not quite,” he replies, bending down to give you a kiss on the cheek. You go ramrod straight, a furious blush spreading across your cheeks.

You can feel the shockwave that ripples through the whole team, each member trying to figure out what’s going on.

“Omi-omi you finally made it! You really like to make us wait, don’t you?” Atsumu teases, planting a smooch on Sakusa’s cheek. He sighs, patting the blonde’s hand.

“I just had to get something from the car. I wasn’t trying to make anyone wait on me.”

You’re holding your breath, anticipating some sort of disgusted reaction from at least one of their friends at your unorthodox relationship. Your heart is thudding in your ears and you can feel how sweaty your palms are.

“Ohh I see what’s going on. Sakusa, Atsumu, and this fine little lady here are what’s called a manager of trost!” Bokuto exclaims, a confident look on his face.

Sakusa clears his throat. “I think the word you’re looking for is a ménage à trois.” He pinches the bridge of his nose for a moment, exhaling loudly. “It’s a crude way of putting it but I suppose that’s one way of explaining it.” 

Hinata’s eyes are bulging so hard you’re afraid they’ll pop out of his head. “Wait, hold on. Wait a minute. Hold up. Wait. I need a minute.” The three of you watch as the gears in his head slowly turn, trying to process this new information. “So you’re—” he starts.

Sakusa quickly cuts him off, simply giving a curt, “Yes.” He’s used to these types of reactions by now.

Pointing at Atsumu, Hinata attempts to connect another dot. “And he’s—” 

“Yup,” Atsumu replies, dramatically popping the ‘p.’ 

He gestures in your direction, waving his arms around haphazardly, almost smacking Bokuto in the face. “And you three are—” 

Atsumu grins and wraps an arm around each of your shoulders, hugging you and Sakusa to him. “That’s right! We're polygamists.”

Sakusa corrects him, rolling his eyes. “You mean polyamorus, Atsumu.”

Atsumu releases him and waves his hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever, same thing.” 

“They are most definitely not the same thing,” he grumbles under his breath.

Hinata turns to you, a serious look on his face. “So when you three cuddle at night, who’s the little spoon and who’s the big spoon?”

You nearly burst out laughing at how earnest he looks, eagerly awaiting your response so he can learn the logistics of three-way cuddling. You internally let out a breath of relief, thankful the team’s reaction seems so positive. “Ah, well, it changes. Sometimes I sleep between them, sometimes Omi spoons Tsumu and I spoon Omi. It depends on how we’re all feeling.”

For the next several minutes Hinata bombards you with question after question about the arrangements in a polyamorus relationship, including, but not limited to, who wears the pants, who cooks and who does the dishes, and who chooses what to watch on Netflix. His seemingly endless interrogation begins to exhaust you, but you do your best to answer all of his questions. Sakusa can sense you’re getting overwhelmed and puts his hand out in front of you, shielding you slightly with his body.

“That’s quite enough, Hinata,” he cautions, “If you have any more questions you can ask me.” The warning look in his eye says otherwise and Hinata visibly bristles, sensing Sakusa’s silent threat if he keeps bothering you. 

Hinata repeatedly bows in apology, clasping his hands together in a pleading gesture. “I-I’m really sorry if I was rude! I didn’t mean to offend y-you,” he stammers.

You’re flustered by his sudden change in demeanor, waving your hands emphatically and trying to get him to stand back up. “It’s okay! I know you don’t mean any harm, don’t worry. You can stop bowing now.”

You silently thank the forces above when the hostess calls your party to be seated, saving you from having to endure more the interaction that was quickly going south. Everyone takes a seat at a large table, all engaged in lively conversation as menus are passed around. You’re seated between your boyfriends, Sakusa to your left and Atsumu to your right. Bokuto is directly in front of you and Hinata is right next to him, both involved in a slightly too loud debate about whether or not ketchup is soup.

The waiter comes around and takes everyone’s food and drink orders and you’re appreciative that the attention has shifted from you to old stories from some of the team’s high school days.

Hinata reveals that Bokuto almost kidnapped him from their training camp one year by convincing him the Fukurodani bus was actually the Karasuno bus. He had been so tired and exhausted that he listened, not questioning why the entire Fukurodani team would be on the bus headed back to Miyagi. They had made it a couple miles down the road before Suzumeda noticed the redhead sleeping in the back of the bus, immediately notifying the bus driver so he could turn back around before the Karasuno team left. He made it back just in time, narrowly avoiding being stranded in Tokyo but unable to avoid Sugawara’s lecture about being more aware of his surroundings. 

Bokuto pouts, insisting he didn’t mean to steal Hinata away from his team, he just wanted to borrow him for a bit. 

The spiky-haired man eventually sets his eyes on you, propping his head up on his hands. “So whose dick is the biggest? My money is on ‘ol mask face over there but I’ve never been able to confirm because he’s such a stickler that he showers and gets dressed before we even get to the locker room!” 

Stunned by such a bold question, you stay silent for a moment, a slightly horrified expression on your face. Once you recover, you dodge his question by asking about how he styles his hair every morning and he takes the bait with enthusiasm, immediately sharing the various products he uses and stresses how it’s so important to deep condition.  

As Bokuto goes off on a tangent about scalp health you nudge Sakusa with your elbow, leaning over and whispering, “Are they always like this?”

Sakusa gives you a pained look. “Yes, they are.”

A few hours go by, dinner filled with laughs, more stories, and even a few tears when the men recall some of the tough times they had. Soon yawns and the rubbing of tired eyes becomes contagious, signaling everyone’s desire to go home and sleep. Once checks and cards are exchanged and each tab is paid, each person at the table looks ready to take their leave.

Sakusa stands and clears his throat. “I think it’s about time we headed home. Are you both ready?” he asks, looking at you and Atsumu. You both nod and get up to join him, others following your lead and heading toward the exit. Everybody lingers in the parking lot for a few minutes to exchange goodbyes, patting each other on the back and saying they’ll see them at practice on Monday.

Your boyfriends lead you to the car, each of their hands on your waist. Atsumu opens your door for you and gives you a kiss on the cheek before you get in, a dreamy look on his face. Once all three of your doors close you let out a tired sigh and lean your head on the headrest.

“I know babe, but you did so well tonight. I could tell they all really loved you, especially Hinata!” Atsumu smiles from the driver’s seat, patting your thigh lovingly. 

Sakusa huffs from behind you, “A little too much if you ask me.”

You turn to look at him, giggling. “Omi are you jealous?”

He crosses his arms, sulkily looking out the window. “I’m not jealous, he was just too enthusiastic.”

The drive home is peaceful, all of you too tired to carry on any sort of conversation. 

When you get to your apartment, you and Atsumu simply strip out of your clothes and flop into bed, Sakusa joining you after he brushes his teeth and takes a shower.

“You had nothing to worry about. You definitely charmed them,” Atsumu murmurs, dangling on the precipice of sleep. You cuddle further into his side so you’re firmly sandwiched between your boyfriends.

“For once Atsumu is right, you really had no reason to worry they wouldn’t like you,” Sakusa adds, wrapping his arm around your middle.

You hum contentedly, hugging the both of them tightly. “I love you both so much, you know that right?”

Sakusa kisses your shoulder. “I love you too, sweetness.”  

You wait a few seconds before realizing Atsumu is asleep, snoring softly. Giggling, you close your eyes and fall asleep quickly, comforted by the two solid, reassuring bodies next to you.

[thelazyhermits]

Touching Hearts

As I mentioned in this post, I’ve finally started watching season 4 of the anime, and because of that, I’m remembering things I had forgotten about since it’s been a while since I last read about those arcs in the manga.

One such thing I forgot about was how beat up Todoroki and Bakugou get from their provisional license training, which is mentioned at the beginning of the Overhaul arc, so I decided to write a scene focused on that which takes place directly after chapter 38 of TABF.

I hope y’all enjoy it! ^-^

After you convince Yagi to meet with Nighteye, the retired hero nervously calls his former sidekick in hopes to arrange a meeting with him. Much to his surprise, Nighteye quickly agrees and says you both can come by tomorrow afternoon.

Of course, you aren’t nearly as surprised as Yagi is. After all, there’s no way a diehard All Might fan like Nighteye could ever turn down a request from the former number one hero himself. Plus, you’re sure that he was happy to hear that Yagi wanted to speak with him, even though you bet he’s wondering what the reason behind the visit is since Yagi didn’t go into details.

Once that meeting has been set up and you’ve properly cleaned your tear-stained face, you and Yagi make arrangements to set up a meeting with Nedzu and Aizawa to let them know about the current situation at hand.

As expected, neither Nedzu or Aizawa are thrilled when they hear the news of Nighteye’s impending death, and the latter especially dislikes the thought of you trying to prevent it because of your drawback. 

Thankfully, in the end, you and Yagi manage to convince him to allow you both to meet with Nighteye tomorrow since you can’t just ignore your vision. You have to do something.

However, it takes a while to do that, so by the time you finally start heading back to the dorm, you’re completely exhausted, emotionally because of that horrific vision you had about Nighteye, mentally because of that meeting with Aizawa, and physically since you had training with Shinsou after that meeting finally concluded. 

That’s why you have every intention to go to bed early tonight, so you’ll be well-rested for tomorrow’s meeting with Nighteye. And you’re honestly just too tired to do anything besides cook dinner at this point, well anything except for giving Midoriya a big hug, of course, since you know he had an equally rough day and you will never be too tired to shower him with the affection and support he deserves. Plus, hugging him always makes you feel better, so it’s only natural that you take every opportunity to do so, especially on a day like today.

While you follow through with your plan to hug Midoriya once you return to the dorm, your plans to turn in early tonight end up changing when dinner comes and goes without you seeing Bakugou or Todoroki. Apparently, since it’s Sunday, today’s provisional license training is an all day affair.

Aizawa had told you as much earlier today, but you didn’t think he literally meant all day, considering how early the boys left this morning. Naturally, that just makes you wonder what kind of training they are going through that lasts from sunrise to sunset, obviously the really intense kind.

No doubt Todoroki and Bakugou will be exhausted by the time they return to the dorm. You just hope they won’t be too battered and beaten since you heard from the other UA teachers that Ganga Orca is a tough instructor.

Since you’re worried about your students, you can’t bring yourself to go to bed until they safely return to the dorm. That’s why, when everyone else turns in for the night, you remain in the living room and wait for the boys.

Fortunately, you don’t have to wait long since Bakugou and Todoroki both arrive shortly after their classmates turn in for the night. When they do, you discover that your wish for them to not be too battered and beaten was in vain.

With a gasp, you hurry over to the surprised boys, so you can get a better look at their injuries. “Are you two alright?! I heard Ganga Orca was a tough instructor, but I didn’t think you two would come back looking this beat up!”

Todoroki blinks, “We’re alright. None of our injuries are serious.”

He tilts his head. “What are you doing still up, Sensei? I thought everyone would be asleep by now.”

Frowning, you gently cup his injured cheek as you examine the damage done to his handsome face. “I didn’t want to go to bed before you two got home, and I’m glad I didn’t since you both need to get these injuries treated before you go to bed.”

Bakugou huffs, “You’re overreacting. These are just scratches. They’re nothing to make a big deal about.”

“Even so, we can’t ignore them.” You reply as you pull your hand away from Todoroki’s face. “So, after you two have eaten dinner, I’ll help you take care of them.”

Just as you turn to head for the kitchen, a question comes to mind, making you pause. “Or do you guys need to take a shower first?”

Todoroki shakes his head. “They had shower stalls at the building where our training was held, so we took showers after we changed out of our hero costumes.”

“Good.” You resume heading toward the kitchen. “In that case, just take a seat at the dining table, and I’ll bring out the food I set aside for you two.”

Rather than oblige, Bakugou drops the briefcase carrying his hero costume and follows after you. “I can carry my own fucking food. You don’t need to bring it to me.”

After Todoroki copies his classmate’s actions, he adds, “I can carry mine too. You don’t have to go out of your way for our sake, Sensei.”

Obviously, these two aren’t as exhausted as you first thought if they have enough energy to argue with you. You suppose you should take that as a good sign.

“Alright.” You huff, “I’ll show you what all I set aside for you in the fridge, and then, I’ll take care of getting some drinks for us.”

Not long after that, the three of you find yourselves at the dining table. While your students eat their food, you just drink from the water bottle you grabbed for yourself.

Rather than try talking to your students, you just watch them devour the food you prepared for them since they’re obviously more interesting in eating than chatting. You had expected they would have strong appetites after the long day they had, and you were right. It’s a good thing you made sure to prepare ample portions for them.

Once he has gotten through half of his meal, Shouto finally takes notice of what Bakugou is eating and tilts his head curiously. “I didn’t notice this earlier, but Bakugou and I are eating completely different meals. Why is that? Shouldn’t these just be leftovers from tonight’s dinner?”

Apparently, Bakugou didn’t notice that either, judging from the way he pauses his eating to examine his and his classmate’s dinner. When the blond later turns to raise an eyebrow at you, you chuckle, “Those aren’t leftovers from tonight’s dinner. Those are dishes I made after dinner.”

A grin forms on your lips. “I wanted to make you each your favorite foods once I realized what a long day you would be having since I wanted to make sure your day ended on a good note. After all, nothing’s better than eating food that you love after a long day, right?”

The corners of Todoroki’s lips tilt slightly upwards. “That’s true. My day definitely improved thanks to your delicious soba. Thank you, Sensei.”

As you return the ice user’s smile, Bakugou returns his attention to his food. “Your spicy food still isn’t anywhere near the level of spiciness my cooking has, but it’s not bad.”

An amused huff escapes you. “Thanks, and I’ll be sure to keep the spice level in mind the next time I make something spicy for you.”

Once that conversion concludes, the boys resume eating. Since it shouldn’t be long until they finish, you leave the table to collect the first aid kit that’s kept in the kitchen, so you can be ready to treat their injuries once they finish eating.

Fortunately, even though you know Bakugou finds your mothering to be annoying, he doesn’t try to make a break for it as soon as he and Todoroki finish eating. Instead, the blond takes care of cleaning his dishes and throws away his trash like his classmate does before returning to the dining table.

When you give him an approving smile after he takes a seat at the table, Bakugou scowls at you in return, but thankfully, he doesn’t do anything else. Still, you know he’ll be far from a model patient, so you decide to save him for last since you know Todoroki won’t give you any trouble.

Just as you expected, Todoroki just quietly sits at the table as you begin treating all of his injuries, only speaking whenever you ask him if he’s in any pain. Each time you ask him if your actions are hurting him, he assures you that he’s fine much to your relief.

That relief quickly turns tino frustration when you begin treating the scrapes on Todoroki’s face. “Honestly, what was Ganga Orca thinking, allowing such a handsome face to get injured like this? If the ladies of Japan saw you looking like this, they would all cry!”

Todoroki’s eyes widen slightly. “Really? How come?”

While Bakugou rolls his eyes, you answer, “Because nothing is sadder to a girl than seeing a handsome guy’s face get ruined! Looks like yours should be treasured, not treated like this! Doesn’t Ganga Orca realize a face like yours will eventually become one of Japan’s greatest treasures?!”

He continues to stare at you in amazement. “I didn’t realize my face was so important.”

Bakugou scoffs, “It’s not. Sensei’s just exaggerating. The only thing that stands out about your face is how fucking annoying it is.”

Just as you’re about to scold the hothead for his words, an idea comes to mind, making you grin. “Aw, Bakugou, is that jealousy I hear? Are you upset that I'm complimenting Todoroki’s face and not yours?”

His face reddens. “Hah?! Don’t be stupid! Like I give a fuck about that!”

Your grin grows. “I dunno. You sure sounded jealous to me.”

“There’s no need to be jealous, Bakugou.” Todoroki calmly says, “You have a nice face too.”

While you snort at Todoroki’s innocent compliment, Bakugou glowers at him. “Are you trying to pick a fight with me, Half-and-Half?! I’ll kill you!”

Confused, Todoroki tilts his head. “No? Why would you think that?”

Before Bakugou can retort, you intervene. “Todoroki is right, though. You do have a handsome face just like he does, Bakugou.”

With a grin, you add, “Although, I’m worried about it going to waste, considering how much you’re always scowling. You know, if you keep making faces like that, your face might get stuck like that forever.”

Todoroki frowns, “That wouldn’t be good. You should be careful, Bakugou, so that won’t happen.”

As you fight the urge to laugh at the stoic boy’s show of genuine concern, Bakugou’s scowl deepens. “It won’t! So, fuck off! Nobody asked for either of your opinions!”

Chuckling, you finish up bandaging the rest of Todoroki’s injuries. “Just giving you a friendly warning. After all, you want to surpass All Might, don’t you?”

Bakugou raises an eyebrow at you. “What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”

Once you’ve taken care of Todoroki, you begin tending to the blond’s injuries, taking full advantage of his distraction caused by your earlier comment. “In order to fully surpass All Might, you have to beat him in all aspects, right? Well, that obviously means you’ll have to have a smile that can outshine his, don’t you think?”

“That makes sense.” Todoroki agrees, “After all, when anyone thinks of All Might, one of the first things that come to mind is his smile since it’s so iconic.”

You give him a wink. “Exactly! If anyone ever hopes to beat All Might, then they better have a smile that can rival his. Otherwise, he’ll always remain number one in that category.”

When you return your focus to Bakugou, you see him frowning, wearing a contemplative expression. Obviously, he’s taking your words into serious consideration. 

Smiling, you finish bandaging one of his scrapes before ruffling his hair, making him scowl. “You’re amazing, Bakugou. There’s no question about that. You’re strong, smart, and talented among many other things.”

“However,” You raise a finger. “there is one important ability you and Todoroki both need to master before either of you can become the kind of pro hero who can surpass All Might.”

While Bakugou raises an eyebrow at you, Todoroki curiously asks, “And what ability is that?” 

Your earlier smile returns as you turn to point at his and Bakugou’s chests. “The ability to capture people’s hearts by touching their hearts and making your own hearts more apparent to the people you’re trying to protect.”

Noticing their twin looks of confusion, you elaborate, “The reason All Might was such an amazing hero wasn’t just because he was strong and talented. It was because he was amazing at touching people’s hearts by showing them his own.”

You rest a hand over your heart. “All Might gave people hope because they knew that no matter what he would always protect them, not just because he was the strongest but because he genuinely cared about everyone. Everyone could tell that he would always go beyond Plus Ultra to protect them because he considered them all equally important.”

Your expression softens. “That’s how I felt whenever I watched him on TV and in my visions. I could see how much he cared about others and how nothing was more important to him than maintaining the peace and giving others hope.”

When you lift your gaze to look at your students, you see them watching you intently, wearing contemplative expressions, proving that they’re deeply considering your words.

“Real heroes have the ability to not only save people’s lives but also their hearts,” You softly say, “and to some people, the latter is the most important ability a hero can have.”

“And that includes you?” Bakugou solemnly asks as he holds your gaze.

The corners of your lips curve upwards. “It does, because I wouldn’t have made it this far if it weren’t for heroes that could save people’s hearts. That’s why I hope that you promising heroes-to-be will one day master that ability too.”

“I use the term ‘master’ because I’ve already experienced firsthand you both using such an ability. Although, I’m sure it wasn’t really intentional on either of your parts.” You add, earning some surprised looks from your students.

As you’re speaking, you think back to the I-Island incident and how Todoroki refused to leave your side and was determined to get you the medical attention you needed. Then, your memories drift toward the villain attack at the summer camp and how Bakugou refused to abandon you, even though it meant putting himself at risk.

Your smile softens. “One day, you both will able to intentionally touch people’s hearts in the same way you did mine. I have complete confidence in both of you since I know there’s nothing you two can’t do if you put your minds to it, so I have no doubt that you’ll both become amazing heroes that can outshine even All Might.”

For several seconds, your students just stare at you with slightly widened eyes, and then, Bakugou smirks, “Of course, I fucking will! I’m the guy who’s gonna be the next number one hero who surpasses All Might in every shape and form! I’ll master every fucking aspect of being a hero there is, so I’ll be the unequivocal number one!”

Todoroki nods, “I’ll work hard too, Sensei, to become a hero who can save lives and hearts. I won’t let you down.”

Grinning, you reach over to ruffle their hair. “I know. You two are always meeting and surpassing my expectations. This time won’t be any different.”

Both boys’ eyes gain a pleased gleam at your words, but Bakugou tries to hide it by averting his gaze. Rather than tease him about it, you just resume taking care of the rest of his injuries. 

As you’re doing this, Todoroki asks, “Do you think our training for our provisional licenses will help us get a better understanding of touching people’s hearts, or is that something we’re supposed to learn during our lessons here at UA?”

You hum thoughtfully. “I’m not sure what all the training for your provisional licenses entails, so I can’t say for sure about that. But as far as your school lessons are concerned, I’m sure you’ll eventually get lessons focused on that aspect of heroics. Although, I would think heroes-in-training would mostly get those kinds of lessons when they’re out in the field.”

Bakugou tilts his head. “Because it means interacting with actual civilians?”

Nodding, you give him an approving smile. “Exactly. The best way for heroes to touch people’s hearts is by learning how to understand the people they’re protecting, which happens by getting closer to them. Doing this helps both parties come to learn more about each other, which leads to trust building between them.”

After you finish tending to the last of Bakugou’s injuries, you begin putting up everything that you took out of the first aid kit. “Trust is key to touching people’s hearts. It’s important that you both become the kind of hero that people know they can trust and rely on no matter what happens.”

Once everything has been put away, you turn to face your students and smile, “You both have already proven to me that you’re strong and capable heroes that I can rely on and trust. Now, you just have to figure out how to do that with everyone else. It won’t be easy since social interactions aren’t really either of your forte, but I know you both can do it.”

While Todoroki gives you a determined nod, Bakugou just averts his gaze with a huff. “Obviously.”

Getting an idea, you cheerfully clap your hands together. “However, as your teacher, I shouldn’t make you do all that hard work without, at least, first imparting a little helpful advice.”

Once you have their undivided attention, you continue, “Obviously, as I mentioned before, one of the main things you both need to do is develop your own hero smile, so by the time you guys graduate, you must have a smile that can put everyone’s hearts at ease.”

As expected, Bakugou makes a face at your words while Todoroki just gives you another nod. Obviously, that one task in itself is going to be difficult for them due their personalities and typical demeanors, but you know smiling isn’t impossible for them. It’s just not something they choose to often do.

There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, as far as their daily lives are concerned. It’s only when they’re on the field, working as pro heroes, that they need to be able to implement what you consider to be one of a hero’s most important assets.

Once you’ve reaffirmed the importance of that ability, you decide to share the idea you came up with earlier. “Another important thing you two should work on is communicating with the people you’re supposed to protect in a way that will assure them that everything will be alright now that you’re there for them.”

With a grin, you wink, “And you should also make good use of those good looks you both have while you’re at it to win their hearts over even more.”

While Bakugou raises an eyebrow at you, Todoroki gives you a curious look. “How do we do that?”

Your grin grows. “I’ll show you! Just pretend you’re a civilian who got caught up in a villain attack, alright?”

Once you get a nod from him, you grab Todoroki’s hands and hold them in between yours. As he stares at you with a mixture of surprise and confusion, you hold his gaze and give him the most reassuring smile you can muster. “It’ll be alright. You’re safe now. I’m here, so you don’t need to worry anymore. I’ll protect you no matter what. I won’t let anyone lay a single finger on you.”’

You give his hands a reassuring squeeze as your smile softens. “So, don’t be scared. A look like that doesn’t suit your handsome face. The world would be much better off if you were smiling instead since a smile like yours can make even the darkest of days seem bright. That’s why I’ll fight with everything I have to protect that precious smile; I won’t let anyone ever take it away, I promise.”

While Bakugou gapes at you, Todoroki stares at you with slightly widened eyes. Obviously, you caught them both completely off guard with your performance.

When a few seconds pass without a response, you release Todoroki’s hands and grin, “So, what do you think, Todoroki? Did I make your heart skip a beat just now?”

He rests a hand over his heart. “There weren’t any irregularities with my heartbeat, but…”

“But?” You parrot, tilting your head curiously.

“My chest feels very warm now, all of a sudden.” Todoroki replies, “How strange.”

Giggling, you ruffle his hair. “That’s what it means to touch people’s hearts, Todoroki. That’s the kind of reaction you should be aiming for when you interact with the people you’re trying to protect.”

His expression appears thoughtful. “Come to think of it, I remember feeling similarly whenever I watched All Might on TV when I was a child. So, this is what it means to touch people’s hearts.”

Todoroki lifts his gaze to meet yours and gives you a small smile. “Thank you for showing me that, Sensei. I promise I’ll make good use of your example and your advice.”

“I have no doubt that you will.” You pat his head. “I have high hopes for you, Todoroki.”

When you later pull your hand away from his head, Todoroki adds, “I promise I’ll also take better care of my face in the future since I don’t want you or any of the other ladies of Japan to cry.”

A laugh escapes you. “Good to hear! You gotta take good care of that face of yours since it’s gonna be one of your greatest assets when you’re a pro hero.”

Bakugou, who has been quiet all this time, finally breaks his silence with a scoff. “Only if he ever learns how to stop being so fucking annoying all the time.”

While you give him an exasperated look, Bakugou rises to his feet and asks, “Are we done here, Sensei?”

With a sigh, you nod, “Yeah, I’m done treating both of your injuries, so you two are free to go. Sorry for keeping you both up when I’m sure you’re both beyond exhausted.”

Todoroki shakes his head. “You don’t need to apologize. If anything, we should be thanking you for staying up late for our sake. Right, Bakugou?”

The blond clicks his tongue. “Whatever.”

While the boys move to collect their briefcases containing their hero costumes, you quickly return the first aid kit to the kitchen before rejoining them in the living room. As you all begin heading for the elevators, you ask, “So, what did you think of the example I provided for Todoroki, Bakugou? Do you think that’s something you can do?”

“Of course, I can!” Bakugou huffs, “There’s nothing I can’t do, so I won’t have any issue doing something like that.”

Even though he says that, you have a feeling accomplishing such a task will be more difficult than he thinks once he finally tries it out, considering his less than ideal social skills. While you have full faith in him, there’s no doubt in your mind that he’ll struggle with this aspect of heroics for at least a little while since it’s completely foreign territory to him.

“I’m not as confident as Bakuguou since I’m not used to doing something like that, but I’m going to work hard.” Todoroki comments, “Hopefully, by the time we get our provisional licenses, I’ll be ready to try touching people’s hearts.”

“It might take you a little while, but you’ll definitely get there, Todoroki.” You assure him. “Until then, just keep working hard and doing your best like you always do.”

Around that time, the three of you come to a stop in front of the elevators. Just as you’re about to hit the button for the elevator you’ll be taking, you suddenly realize you had almost forgotten something very important. “I almost forgot!”

Both Todoroki and Bakugou, who were about to enter the elevator which will take them to the boys’ side of the dorm, pause at your exclamation. 

Before either of them can question you, you reach over to pat their heads, smiling all the while. “Welcome home, Bakugou, Todoroki. Good work today. I’m proud of you both.”

The two stare at you with surprise for a brief moment, and then, their features relax.

A slight smile rises to Todoroki’s lips. “I’m home, Sensei. Also, thank you for dinner and for taking care of my injuries.”

Bakugou averts his gaze. “I’m home.”

After a brief pause, he then mutters, “And thanks.”

Immediately, after those two words passes his lips, Bakugou hurries into the elevator before you can say anything else. Not wanting to be left behind, Todoroki quickly follows after him. 

Chuckling, you give them a parting wave. “Good night, you two. See you in the morning.”

Just before the elevator door closes, Todoroki returns the parting. You don’t hear anything from Bakugou, but you figure that’s to be expected. 

With a smile, you turn to enter the elevator that will take you to the girls’ side of the dorm. As you’re riding the elevator, you think back to the discussion you had with Todoroki and Bakugou.

Those two definitely both have the potential to become the kinds of heroes that can save people’s hearts. It won’t be easy, but I have full faith that they can overcome any obstacles that come their way.

Just as you think that, your Quirk activates, showing you a vision of your students in the midst of their provisional license training.

Feeling a mixture of amused and surprised, you watch as Ganga Orca declares that Bakugou, Todoroki, Inasa, and the girl Toga impersonated, Utsushimi  Camie, all have to participate in a special training where they have to win the hearts of a bunch of primary schoolers since he says what the heroes-in-training need is “heart”.

Seems like Ganga Orca and I were on the same page. What are the chances?

Looks like Todoroki will be getting a lesson on touching people’s hearts during his provisional license training after all. Unfortunately for him, it won’t be an easy lesson, considering how those primary schoolers have no interest in listening to anyone, not even the teacher they came with.

Of course, you still believe that your students can accomplish such a lofty task. You just have no idea how since you hadn’t considered giving them lessons on how to talk to small children.

That’s why you’re very eager to see what happens next in this vision since you want to see what your students will do. Just how will they win these children’s hearts?

Unfortunately, you don’t get all the details you were hoping for since a time skip occurs in your vision, preventing you from seeing how Todoroki and Bakugou will react to the crazy situation Ganga Orca has put them in.

Your disappointment doesn’t last long, however, when, after the time skip, you see all the children happily playing with the four students in charge of winning them over. 

All you can do is smile when you see all the smiling primary schoolers playing on large ice slides that were obviously made by Todoroki. Those are some great smiles you put on their faces, Todoroki. Good job. I knew you could do it.

Your smile grows when you see Bakugou telling a kid that he won’t be able to recognize his own weaknesses if he’s always looking down on others. Well said, Bakugou. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come.

Around that time, your vision comes to an end, just as the elevator doors open. As you move to exit the elevator, an immense rush of pride washes over you, making you beam.

You’re amazing, Todoroki, Bakugou. You two really can do anything when you set your minds to it. Looks like you’re gonna soon be one step closer to becoming the heroes you’re both striving to become.

And you couldn’t be more proud.

[lesmismignon]

Satis - Old End Notes Compilation

Posting here because I forgot AO3 has a profile character limit. These are my old end notes from the prologue~chapter 27 (as of June 17, 2024) of Satis that I have removed from their respective chapters because 1) they were outdated af and 2) I wanted the chapters decluttered. This post will be edited and updated continuously with author’s notes of each new chapter. (Click “keep reading” at your own risk, this ended up being so long, I might have to divide it in the future. These read like old diary entries wtf)

prologue - parting words (2016-05-08)

Unlike Pushing Daisies, a happy-go-lucky product of a recent caffeine binge, this has been sitting in my computer for a long, long while, and I've decided to publish it today because it's Mother's Day (Parent's Day where I live).

This entire chapter resulted from my appreciation of Integra and Seras' relationship, which I always felt was portrayed quite profoundly in canon (Manga/OVA). Integra accepts Seras, takes her in, embraces her during her bloodlust, cuts her finger to feed her, and orders her not to die. Though this is intended to be, ultimately, an AxI fic, Integra and Seras' relationship will be an almost equally important pillar of the plot.

I must stress that this takes second priority to Snow White and will be updated only irregularly, if at all, until SW is completed. Which won't be long, I don't know. Headaches are rampant these days. Your responses will be the most welcome and beloved of all energizers. Especially since this is going to be a rather depressing and dramatic ride. I would love to hear what you thought. What will await our favorite Hellsing director, do you think?

01. auld lang syne (2016-06-24)

Here we go, off on another journey.

Thank you all for your feedback and sorry I kept you waiting! I hope you enjoyed this, and I would passionately love to hear what you thought and what you anticipate.

02. palimpsest (2016-07-27)

Good news! Now that Snow White is finished I'll be able to keep a regular schedule for this! And by "regular" I mean something like an update every week or two. This is a rather difficult endeavor, since I have to delve into the emotions of these very complex characters, and being an overemotional person myself, I tend to get overwhelmed. So please be patient with me if I end up being late. I'm always, always trying to deliver my best! I should mention, the quickest way to check my survival is my Tumblr blog. The address is in my bio.

Thank you so much for your wonderful words last chapter and I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. It was hard, because one, the weather is horrible, and two, the weather is horrible, and three, Integra's situation is so convoluted that even I, the poor masochist who has undertaken this, have to take a breather every now and then. Second chances are really not that fantastic, you know?

Oh! And the rating is for violence, unresolved sexual tension, and, uh, maybe more? I make no promises! Let's see what the future holds.

And because music is such a big part of my writing, shout out to my queen Hamasaki Ayumi, who always manages to dissolve me into a teary ball of tragic romance.

I almost forgot. There will absolutely be no underage sex. No. Just no. Even if Integra is technically fifty-two.

03. eyes of war (2016-08-12)

More Walter to come next chapter.

The weather is hideous and I think I'm suffocating in the humidity. I hope this chapter doesn't seem too affected. God, I am so ready for autumn and the angsty vibes its winds send me!

Thank you all so much. I can't express adequately how I loved reading your responses and how joyed I am with all the ideas you're giving me. I'm afraid this story will start off a bit slow at first, but I'm really hoping to pick up the pace soon. I can say that a few major events are already set in stone and so is the climax. I know you're impatient to get there, but so am I! Let's journey on this rickety barge together. Be aware, though, it might not be what you expect!

Some of you might recall this from one of my notes in Snow White but the way I interpret Walter's defection in the series really can be summed up as jealousy (not the romantic kind). I'm trying to unfold the dynamics of Integra, Alucard and Walter's relationship as plausibly as possible. God, it's hard! They're such difficult children! And there's a reason the genre of this fic is drama. I'm going to spew drama everywhere. Be careful you don't drown in it! Stay tuned.

04. jamais vu  (2016-08-31)

Sleep has eluded me. Oh God, I am exhausted. Next time, my dearest readers. Always, thank you so much, please know that your wonderful words are what keep me going!

05. out of the blue (2016-09-17)

Integra! What are you up to?

Fluff. I needed fluff. And it never is Hellsing if the fluff isn't served with a dash of war and lewdness. And considering what I have planned for the next chapter, you all are going to need to fluff yourselves up with lots and lots of fluff.

Thank you all for your feedback! You all are such stars. I'm so happy you like the poem I chose for Alucard and Integra last chapter. I speak not a stitch of Romanian, but when I discovered that poem I was like, oh? Oh! And I had to use it, of course. I actually preferred poetry when I was in college so understand you'll be seeing poems here and there in my stories. Along with music, they are one of my greatest muses.

So I hope you are contented for now. Until next time, starlit people!

06. déjà vu (2016-10-12)

I did warn you!

Dreadfully sorry for the wait. As you might be able to imagine, this one was a monster. At this point I am just so glad I got it out. Thank you so much for your patience, and your words of kindness and encouragement! I live off them, you must know. But, whew, we do need something sweet to flush out this melancholy, don't we? Cross your fingers for a lighter installment next time, and I may show you mercy! Until then. Happy October, everyone!

07. a meager substitute (2016-10-30)

It so happens that I will reach the end of a chapter, and be at a complete loss as to what I should leave as an end note other than "Thank you" and "I love you" and "You are the sun and moon and stars of my writing process," because I am sure you know all these things already. But good things must go on repeating. So thank you and love you all for your loving support. I cannot believe it's already Halloween. Can you believe it's already Halloween? I wish I could have a share of your credulousness. Well anyway, Happy Halloween! See you soon!

08. cycle (2016-11-19)

The world may be going to pieces but the fic must go on. In which Integra shakes salt everywhere, poor Alucard and Walter become pickles, and Seras is, as always, a cutie patootie.

Sorry, Pip. You know I love you.

I am a very tired bean these days and so I had to cut this chapter off here before it could get too long for me to edit on time. So many apologies for it being on the short side. And thank you everyone so, so much for the two hundred kudos! Wow! Your love is what inspires me to go on!

What will happen next chapter? Where is Alucard? How will Walter fare? Has the future been changed for the better or worse? I cannot answer these questions, but you never know. The plot may be already upon you.

09. spoiled cake (2016-12-20)

Three o'clock in the morning is a lovely hour to update.

Oh my stars. I did not intend for this to take so long. I am terribly sorry for the long wait. At first I was occupied with Pokémon Moon, which was an absolute delight; but after finishing it I was hit with a bout of depression and lost a lot of strength. But I'm back now and I hope this chapter will be your balm. Your words were precious to me during this time, and I can't thank you enough. Let's continue on this journey.

10. bitter, sweet (2017-01-19)

*Sips tea*

*Looks at calendar*

*Spits tea out*

January 19? January 19? What do you mean, it's already January 19?

Wow. Uh, happy new year, everyone. Again, thank you and sorry for the long wait. I wrote quite a bit, scrapped it, wrote again, scrapped it again... There is something about turning a new year that makes one simultaneously hope and despair. I was at a rather difficult place, but presently I've gotten better. I wish this year will be a happy, lucky and safe time for all of you, and I hope I will be able to bring more and better bits to read. It has been quite a while since I uploaded a one shot, hasn't it?

11. ouroburos (2017-03-26)

Yes, it's really me! You're not hallucinating! You've really read through a new chapter of Satis! Wow. Hey guys. It's almost April, the cruelest month. I can't believe how fast the months go by. It's so humbling. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your support and patience. My new job has really taken a toll on me and I feel uneasy even in this state of employment, and it took a while to muster the time and strength for this update. But while it is late, I poured my soul into this—as usual—so I hope that you enjoyed it and that it has given you a splash of brightness in your day. Have a lovely spring, everyone. I will try to come back as soon as I can.

12. lunacy (2017-06-19)  

Hello! Hello! I hope I find you well on this summer day. I know, I know, I've been terrible. But some things could not be helped, and I had to take the long way to deliver this chapter. Which unofficially marks the unofficial first section of this story. I don't divide them, exactly, but after this chapter we will pick up the pace, so to speak, and get into the nitty-gritty of Integra's situation, find out what's up with the other characters, blow up some skulls, and produce tears—among other things.

I know you have questions, especially concerning the end road this story will take. (Which will take a long time getting to!) This is all I can provide at this point (and some of you will have already read this): I have dropped Hints About The Future Plot. Countless times. Of course, they are never obvious. A word here, a sentence there. You won't know and I've made sure you won't. I don't even think they're worthy to be called hints, they're so insignificant. Nonetheless, they're there. As little, fleeting whimsies.

I think I'll put up a nice little one shot before I upload the next chapter. Thank you always, always for your patience, your interest and your wonderful support.

13. phantom ache (2017-10-31)

Oh, damn, I'm late, I'm late, I'm so late—*looks down at nonexistent wristwatch* *is pointless* *chucks it away*—terribly sorry. And this is far from the longest chapter ever. But it's Halloween, and I had to put this up somehow or I'd be on it after yet another month and sobbing. May this offering appease the spirits, the Great Pumpkin—and you!

Some of you may already know that I have a new job, and while it is much better than my last job, it is very demanding and saps a lot of my free time. I certainly can't promise how long it will be till I can post the next chapter. But it's going to get there, alright? Slowly, but it's getting there. And this chapter may be the most significant yet, but you won't know that till it gets there, will you? *winks* Until next time, darlings!

14. fine art (2019-03-31)

April fools. Because you thought I would not update, but I did!

My take on Alucard and Walter's relationship is that they can be civil, even respectful—as shown in canon—when they want to be or have to be, but at the root of it all Walter is too embittered and Alucard is too careless. Also, I totally think Walter and Arthur were in cahoots concerning Alucard's banishment.

It has been so long, it took me a moment to remember how to upload. For much of the last two years, I was stuck in a job in which I was unwisely investing too much of my sanity, though I have met some of the best people of my life there. Now I have a new job. Not a better one, per se, but one that I can build a more organized schedule around.

Thank you, everyone. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for enjoying this fic.

Special thanks to my friends J, T, and A, for being there even when I felt I would never be able to write again.

15. invisible numbers (2019-12-25)

Merry Christmas.

16. ever-immutable (2020-12-31)

If this feels like near the end, it is not. It's about halfway-ish, I expect.

Hello, it is I, the holiday cryptid. Jokes aside though, I am glad that I was able to wrap up this strange year with at least one update.

The ideas are still in my head. The love and anger and spite and sorrow I have for the characters still flow. And I shall endeavor to finish this story, even if it takes years.

Important: I will be undergoing an (unscheduled) re-editing of earlier chapters. Mostly grammatical, some minor word changes perhaps, but none that will change the plot, of course. Actually, I really want to edit out my author's notes, because they clutter the chapters up and are so outdated. If anyone misses them though, I'll move them to my bio. This note will also be relocated come next chapter.

Even when I am away from writing, I always read your comments. I appreciate them deeply, and I hope you will tell me your thoughts. Happy new year, may it be a better one for all of us.

17. event horizon (2020-01-29)

in this house we stan Alucard and Integra and their weird dietary choices

Thank you everyone for your wonderful comments. Please know I thrive on your insights and speculations.

Editing of earlier chapters is done for now and author's notes have been moved to the link in my profile. I would fix more but that would be disingenuous. Thank you all for putting up with my five-year-old writing lol.

If you don't mind music suggestions, I recommend Dreamcatcher's "Odd Eye." I was wrapping up the first draft of this chapter when the song was released, and it's scarily relevant. The tone, and the lyrics especially capture the mood I hoped to convey in this chapter. However, the English subtitles on the official mv are pretty disjointed, so you can check out my personal translation of it on my Tumblr.

I hope to see you all again soon.

19. merciful, merciless (2021-03-19)

Spring is a difficult season for me and this came later and shorter than I would desire. I couldn't reply to everyone this time, but please know each and every comment gives me strength. I devour your thoughts and speculations. Thank you as always!

21. meringue (2023-01-24)

~some of my thoughts through the hiatus~

Integra: Alucard don't disappear, Walter don't betray me, Seras let me die a normal death them: sike Integra: ffs

xx

Me: I have the climax, the ending, and even a sequel all ready in my head! smart & sensible people: well u gotta write them down first Me, not smart & sensible: I have to What them What first

xx

if I keep making my otps eat each other's hearts does that count as vore kink

xx

new drinking game: take a shot every "meringue"

and before you ask, yes, I was sorely tempted to title this chapter "meringue" (there was a working title) AND I LOST no, I don't like meringue

xx

Here we are with the beginning of the second half of this adventure! I am very sorry this took so long.

Special thanks to the Fire Emblem Three Houses OST, can't have done this without you

Kidding. Special thanks to everyone who is still reading, still breathing in this fandom, waited, left lovely comments, lovely kudos, believed me when I said I would come back and finish this, even if it takes me another decade.

I shall endeavor to be quicker in the next update.

23. flesh, skin, and bones (2023-05-31) unrelated: guys pls go watch Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 3 in D Minor performed by Yunchan Lim in the 2022 Cliburn Competition, i am in tears

24. last transgression (2023-06-28)

cue me updating during a business trip :D

finally! one from the bucket list completed. The Talk with Walter...

Thank you always! I passionately await your thoughts!

xx

alucard: folks is it possible to be in a devoted equivocal relationship but still pining, jealous of your own self that technically doesn't exist but at the same time does(???) and on top of all that your master/countess/wife may have eaten some kind of weird space and time thingy

walter: man this timeline sucks

25. disintegrate (2023-10-24)

Omake ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚

pip: why is the fucking chunnel under construction. do you know how busy i am. you expect me to take a fucking ferry in this situation. rory go steal a chopper what do you mean i'm acting crazy. do you want me to go reverse boomer on you i'm from the future

xx

alucard: i wasn't even late this time and this happened. this is why we can't have nice things

xx

pip: i'm a friend of integra's. seras: integra doesn't have friends. pip: well, shit

xx

walter: did i mention i hate this timeline

26. oceans of time (2023-11-25)

tfw when the future not only destroys your past, it barges in while you're having dinner and dropkicks your head into your soup

one angry knight wrapped in red, delivered! ;*

Would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you always and forever.

27. water’s edge (2024-04-08)

wife: *beheads husband* husband: *calls her all manner of biblical derivatives* wife: whatever, sike *jumps off a castle*

xx

him: be my queen her: I said like a total of ten words to you

xx

you decapitate a man once and he acts like you hold the answers to the universe

xx

the manor is a paid actor

xx xx

Hello everyone! Sorry I'm late. Happy, uh, April and hope to see you next chapter sooner. Please know that every thought you leave I fold into a tiny and perfect star and consume with the rest of my vitamins because they are life-sustaining. Thank you and love you all.

[that-bajan-kid]

Boku No Hero Academia Chapter 281 SPOILERS

(I don't think my heart is built to be thrown around like this)

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Wait does that mean Aizawa can't see him? ARE THEY SEPERATED FROM GRAN TORINO?!?!?! Shigaraki's body looks like it's breaking apart and, again, I don't know how to feel about that.

I'd be more at ease if I knew who was going Plus Ultra. I've decided how to feel about Shigaraki's state and it's concern for his and everyone else's well being. But right now it's mostly his.

Shiggy flashes back to that bitch that left him on the street and it still pisses me off that not a single soul stopped to help him.

Shiggy says that the filth turns into rot, which turns into decay.

So he's basically blaming the heroes for coddling society into a false sense of safety and an over dependents on heroes. As a result, the people who are left behind, the ones who really needs saving like he did, are ignored and cast out. Those people are left with no other choice but to retaliate and cause destruction.

As deranged and insane his rantingbmust sound, he's not entirely wrong. His whole situation could have been avoided had the people around him not been so over dependent on heroes and had actually reached out to help him. I mean, none of them even bothered to call the police. HOW ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO KNOW SOMEONE NEEDS HELP IF YOU DON'T FUCKING CALL- no. I'm not gonna rant about this. Aw man the anger is coming back.

Am I an idiot or was his arm always attached to his body? Whatever, not important right now. What is important is how fucking scary Shigaraki looks here. I am very concerned for his well being. I want the heroes to win but not if that means Shiggy dies.

Endeavour launches a butt tonne of fire at him saying he's already dead but Shiggy manages to dodge.

Endeavour is wondering how the he'll Shiggy is even moving rn while Gran Torino pins Shiggy to the ground. GT is thinking about how Endeavour's fire power has dropped tremendously, which obviously means he's overheating and should very much not be fighting right now.

GT is thinking about how Shigaraki should also not be able to move when said person spins around and crushes his leg.

OH SHIT HE'S GONNA KILL HIM ISN'T HE??? In front of everyone. Oh no. That face looks alot like the one he made when he killed his dad.

Oh fuck he's having a flashback. He really is gonna die. It's Nana giving Kotoro away with GT lurking on a nearby rooftop.

Nana explains that she basically removed any evidence of him being her son and her speech bubbles go from straight to incredibly wobbly the more she talks about him all while Kotoro's words echo in the background.

Present day GT is on the ground in obvious pain and he thinks "Shimura, our decision--". Does that mean he had a say in what happened to Kotoro? Or does he mean her decision to give him away and his decision to stay away?

He is beyond dead. Huh. I thought I'd be more emotional about it. Oh well.

(Edit: I just realised All Might probably saw his old sensei get crushed.)

Giving Kotoro away really tore Nana apart. All that heartache and AFO still managed to fuck with her family.

OK NOW I'M FEELING EMOTIONAL. OH MY GOD I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT MIDORIYA. Don't waste your time Endeavour, he's not listening to anyone anymore. Here comes the tears. Fuck that was a really delayed reaction.

HORIKOSHI WE FUCKING TALKED ABOUT THIS I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD DONOTFUCKINGTOUCHHIM

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHJDIDJWODJSOENDOWNODDNWODNDONWDONEODNEJWNDIWNDODN

Oh my heart. Fucking fuck. I swear this manga is gonna kill me. I completely forgot about her too. My respect for her just rose exponentially. Shit. He just stabbed her with something. OH NO. Please don't tell me.

Midoriya tackles Shigaraki and yells that he will never forgive him and Shigaraki responds with he can't forgive any of them.

Izuku just took an elbow to the stomach and spit out way too much blood for my liking. Izuku turns all his rage into power and really lets Black Whip loose. Endeavour gears up for another attack. Something's wrong I can feel it.

Is that a knife or the bullets? He's reaching into his pockets rn so is he only just now taking them out? Endeavour is gonna give himself heatstroke.

Fuck.

WHO THE FUCK IS THAT SPYING ON AIZAWA?!?! AND WHY IS THERE A FLASHBACK TO ERI CLAUSE?!?!?

This manga is not good for my heart. Izuku just saw his previous mentor get squished. That can't be good for his mental health. And yeah Katsuki barely knew him but he still just saw someone die. Everyone is going to need a therapist after this.

I don't know why it took me so long to react to GT's death. I was ready to freak out about and then it was like all the emotion left me. Am I becoming desensitized to all this violence and death? That can't be right, only two people are confirmed dead. Maybe Twice just took everything out of me.

I feel bad for Nana. She tried her best but in the end it was all for nothing.

Aight, imma head out and try to come down from my current adrenalin high.

Until next time.

[makeste]

Alright, so I've been trying to count the limb amputations in BnHA, and this is the loving list I have come with: USJ Nomu(half his body, including a leg and arm), Mr. Compress(arm), Overhaul(arms), Hood(entire body), Tomura Shigaraki(2 fingers), Re-Destro(legs), Miruko(arm), Hawks(wings(still unconfirmed, but almost certain)), and Aizawa(leg). One more limb amputation and you'll be able to make that top 10 limb amputations list!

anon, you forgot Shouji’s arm that got chopped off during the Forest Training Camp arc! and a couple others as well. so we actually can make a top ten! oh my god. the day has finally come.

10. Shouji Mezou (arm)

sorry Shouji but the truth is this one doesn’t really count since you grew it back. anyway but it still probably hurt though I suppose. still a pretty fucked up thing for a villain to just BITE OFF A FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD’S ARM with their GIANT ELDRITCH HORROR TEETH. you’re a very brave boy Shouji.

9. Amajiki Tamaki (kracken tentacles)

this is mostly just here to prove that I can in fact remember things from the Basement arc, sometimes.

when will these dumb villains learn to start biting arms off of the kids who DON’T grow them back.

8. Hawks (both wings)

does it still technically count as an amputation if the appendages in question are burned to a crisp rather than actually chopped off. I’m pretty sure that’s the only reason this one is so far down the list tbh. it was still pretty horrific. but the fact that fandom’s not even 100% sure if they really are gone for good (though they totally are) is enough to rank this a bit lower than the others I think.

7. Shigaraki Tomura (two three fingers)

oh boo hoo Tomura. you lost THREE whole fingers? no offense, because I’m sure it sucked, but all the same you can’t realistically expect me to just fall all over you all “HOLY SHIT BEST AMPUTATION EVER 10/10” when the best you can commit to is THREE out of TEN digits. come on now you were already outdone by your own subordinate in the same fucking arc.

6. Giran (FIVE fingers)

YOU HEAR THAT TOMURA. FIVE. YEAH WHAT. and he had to put up with the indignity of having his severed digits grotesquely displayed all around the city on top of that! it was seriously so fucked up. and do you even know how long it takes Giran to write out a text now?? so fucking long!! it’s so annoying.

5. The Sixth OFA User (right arm)

don’t mind him... he’s just lying here, bleeding out in the corner of this little montage of other dying OFA users... but it’s fine, really... he literally just sacrificed his life for the sake of the greater good, and died in obscurity for his trouble... and the story skipped right over him from Nana straight to Banjou, and then to the Fourth... and no one even remembers him to the point where anon omitted him in favor of more memorable characters like USJ Noumu... but it’s fine... he’s fine.

5. Overhaul (both hands)

unlike OFA Seis up there, we actually for reals don’t give a fuck about you, Overhaul. kind of fucked up to imply that someone might actually deserve to lose a hand, let alone two hands. and yet, here I am. implying it. huh.

4. Mr. Compress (left arm)

you know the saying. when life gives you lemons, make a robot arm. here’s a nice picture of Compress with his robot arm holding Overhaul’s severed hand in marble form, just for shits and giggles.

notice how he went as far as to roll up his sleeve just for dramatic effect. that’s good shit. hard to outdo a guy whose amputation led directly to a second, revenge amputation, honestly. but three people still managed it.

3. Mirko (left arm)

and now we get to the badasses. the people who absolutely could not give less of a fuck how many limbs they have or don’t have, WHATEVER. Mirko lost an arm and was literally like, “OUCH” and then she SEVERED A MAN’S HEAD WITH HER THIGHS. AND THEN TOURNIQUETED THE ARM WITH HER OWN HAIR JUST AS AN AFTERTHOUGHT. BECAUSE BLEEDING OUT WOULD HAVE BEEN TROUBLESOME. and they had her at number five. five!! ?!?!?!?!

2. Re-Destro (both legs)

look, this guy is my second least-favorite BnHA character, topped only by Jerkface McNoHands back up there. but even I have to give him props for coolly chopping off BOTH OF HIS OWN FUCKING LEGS WITHOUT SO MUCH AS BREAKING A SWEAT WHAAAAT.

and then he went out and got himself a pair of ROBOT LEGS afterwards like a total badass. god. can you believe this fucking guy. he doesn’t deserve to be this cool. god damn you Re-Destro.

1. Aizawa Shouta (right leg)

hey everyone do you want to see a picture of a lying liar real quick.

huh. you don’t say. only I could have sworn...

huh. I guess, technically speaking, he did say arm. nothing about legs.

anyway. “wait a sec but Aizawa only chopped off one of his own legs,” someone, probably Tomura, interjects. “how can you possibly justify putting him above Re-Destro when the precedent you yourself set earlier in this very list clearly dictates that greater number of severed limbs = higher rank.” and fair enough. but Re-Destro’s amputation was quite honestly his own fucking fault, whereas Aizawa fucking SACRIFICED that leg in the name of duty. and oh yes, there’s one other thing as well:

yeah. sorry Re-Destro, but until you can provide incontrovertible proof that not only did you cut off your own legs, but that you somehow, inconceivably, managed to do so LITERALLY WITHOUT EVER EVEN BLINKING!!, then and only then can you come try and pry the number one spot from Aizawa Shouta’s unfathomably badass knife-wielding hands.

hey guys. so anyway I think this manga might actually be pretty violent lmao.