#GEOFFREY IS A GROWN ASS ADULT

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Contrary to popular belief, there is someone I hate more than Geoffrey.

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Four by R.E. Carr Introduces Readers to a Brilliant New World

Four by R.E. Carr Introduces Readers to a Brilliant New World. Get yourself a copy of this and the sequel, Six, and find out why R.E. Carr has been published three times by Kindle Press!

Praise for Four

"The writing throughout was clever, witty, and the dialogue sparkled (even though the vampires didn't)." -IndieHeart "The science and history of the vampires was creative and fascinating, and the ending was totally unpredictable. I loved it!" - T. J. Zalecki, author of Rising Tide (SIRENS, Book 1) "Rich in texture and characterization, Four was a different kind of read for me. My best description of the story? Sookie Stackhouse meets Stephanie Plum." -Maggie Toussaint aka Rigel Carson for Muddy Rose Reviews "Four goes beyond quirky characters, romantic escapades and witty dialogue, to establish a fascinating take on the nature of what a vampire actually is, their long history, and their various views on humanity." - Rick Gualtieri, Author of the Bill the Vampire Series "R. E. Carr takes us through an interesting tale of urban horror and moral ambiguity that may leave you questioning what you yourself would do in that situation." -Tyler J. Dean

A Message from R.E. Carr

Four started out as a dare.  I had all but given up on writing and decided that it was time to give up and move on to be an adult with a real job.  My mom passed away and I was in a dark place, so my friends all dared me to give it one last hurrah.  They gave me a list of ridiculous restrictions - everything from 'cilantro as a plot point' to 'naming a vampire Steve'.  Oh yeah, and it had to be a vampire romance because that was the one thing I swore I would never write.  I accepted the challenge as a way to work through my grief and prepared myself for giving up once and for all.  You can imagine my shock when Kindle Press actually picked me . . .

About Four

Finding a job is never easy, and the only employment Gail usually finds is acting as Girl Friday for the mob. Lucky for Gail, Georgia Sutherland has just the job for her—that is, if she can handle working nights, managing a little blood, and a boss who's been dead for centuries.

In a single interview, Gail's world turns upside down as she discovers that all she’s seen in Hollywood isn’t quite true; vampires don't combust in sunlight, but they do fall in love.

Are Georgia's stories enough to persuade Gail to take the gig catering to an antediluvian vampire who's thirsty for a new personal assistant? If Gail wants to live out the year and retire rich, she just needs to remember the Four Rules that govern undead society.

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Interview with A Vampire's Assistant by R.E. Carr

“Come on, you promised!” Mr. Lambley said, pouting as he held his little tape recorder. A shivering young woman sat on the bench next to him, nursing a steaming cup of coffee.  They lounged under a streetlamp in Brookline, watching people duck into the many restaurants and shops that marked this section of town.  Their particular strip of greenway was mostly empty, save a few overachievers trying to sneak in a run, or the occasional scavenger looking for precious aluminum in the multitude of trash cans.

“I did, didn’t I?” Georgia, his companion sighed. “You know, I really shouldn’t have let you and Steve watch that marathon of vampire movies.  How do I know that tomorrow you won’t start randomly talking in a Hungarian accent or shrieking in horror from crosses and holy water?”

Mr. Lambley narrowed his unnaturally bright green eyes. “Now that would just be silly,” he said, his lip slightly quivering. “You know that I would never imitate that filthy homewrecker or bring the church into this.”

“Yes, that would be totally silly.  Shouldn’t I be interviewing you though, Mr. Lambley?  It was called Interview with the Vampire, after all.”

The vampire rolled his eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh. “We are trying to be different and edgy here.  This time the vampire is doing the interview.”

“All right, tell me what you want to know.”

Mr. Lambley burst into a huge grin, showing off his fangless smile. He bounced on the bench, fumbling with the buttons on the old-school recorder.  Georgia grabbed his pudgy little fingers and steadied them so he could finally press record.

“Tell me, Miss Sutherland, how did you first come to realize that you were human?” he asked, adopting his best imitation of a terrible American accent.  Georgia raised a brow.

“I was born this way,” she replied flatly.  Mr. Lambley gave her the biggest, saddest puppy eyes she’d ever seen.  She cleared her throat. “Um, I came into being in the year of our lord nineteen-eighty-six.  I do not remember much of that time as baby humans don’t have the greatest of memories.  I do, however, remember being adopted by the nicest of couples.  My adoptive dads treated me like their little princess.”

“Dads?”

“Yes, dads, two of them.  It was Massachusetts in the Nineties, truly a different, scarier time - when phones were always plugged into walls and music still had guitars in it.”

“Fascinating.  Now, you grew up with these men?  Did they teach you the ways and laws of being human?”

“I had both perfect attendance and conduct at school, so I think they did all right.  I almost got the perfect attendance award for K through twelve, but I broke my ankle as a freshman.  That would have been my proudest achievement, I think.  I was never the best at academics, or sports, nor did I have any creative talents to speak of.  . . . Wow, that sounds kinda sad when I say it out loud.  Anyway, I did learn how to make brownies that kicked ass . . . err that made grown men weep with their beauty.  I later expanded upon this by forming a partnership with a certain amateur farmer to make brownies that commanded a higher than average price, if you know what I mean.”

“No, actually I do not, Miss Sutherland.  Would you care to enlighten me?”

“Nope, I’m good,” she replied blithely. “Anyway, my life really didn’t get interesting until after I failed at college and walked out with a useless hospitality degree.  I even failed working at a donut shop, if you can believe it.”

“I believe it,” the vampire muttered into his recorder. “Truly from this font of sadness, a great story shall emerge.”

Georgia raised a brow. “Thanks, boss.”

“Oh, but I know the details of how you came to be an assistant to a mighty vampire—”

“Mighty, huh?”

“But what makes a vampire’s assistant tick?  What do you dream of?  Who do you aspire to be?  What - and who - do you love?”

“I am so sniffing that bottle of blood when we get back to the house.  I think it might be spiked.”  Georgia’s face softened as she was assaulted with a fresh round of puppy eyes.  She let out a deep breath. “Fine, I will let you in on a little secret, Mr. Lambley.”

The vampire wiggled his fingers eagerly and leaned towards her.  Georgia tilted her head back and studied the last traces of browned leaves on the tree above.  She watched one flutter all the way to the ground before she continued.

“The truth is, I don’t dream . . . of anything.  You work hard, you get burnt out - but if you do nothing, you get nowhere.  There is no winning and no losing, and dreams are just torture in a way.  I prefer to just take in what’s around me and go with the flow.  Hell, it’s worked so far.  I don’t aspire to be anything, Mr. Lambley.  I just make the best of whatever situation the chaos of the universe throws at me - and as for love, well that is still none of your business.”

“It’s Stefano, isn’t it?” Mr. Lambley said, barely containing a tiny squeal. “You’re being all dramatic because you’ve been spending time with the young Jaeger.  Soon he’s going to be all brooding and watching you while you sleep.  I know it!”

Georgia buried her face in her palms. “You watched more movies while I was vacuuming and cleaning the upstairs, didn’t you Mr. Lambley?  Is that why you asked me to order edible glitter and a hoodie for you?  Fess up.”

Mr. Lambley quickly looked at his notes. “I would . . . never. Don’t you want to tell me more of your story?  I would love to know how it ends.”

“Mr. Lambley, my story is simple.  I work for you and I’m content with what I have.  It’s not grandiose nor full of prophecies and destinies, but it’s all mine.  Now, what do you think about taking this interview over to the Island Shack - where I’ve heard rumor that there is a blood sausage special tonight?”

“Indeed!” Mr. Lambley exclaimed.  He popped his tape recorder back in the pocket of his trench coat and took his assistant’s hand.  As they walked towards the bright lights of the sidewalk, he leaned his head on her shoulder and said, “For what it’s worth, Miss Sutherland, I think you have a lovely story to tell.”

“Really Mr. Lambley?”

“Why yes, I think someday I shall write an essay on it.  I think my kind will find it rather fascinating. ‘An Interview with a Vampire’s Assistant’.  Yes, that will do quite nicely.”

“Mr. Lambley, if there is one thing I know, is that no one in their right mind would ever want to read my story.  Now come on, there is a mango smoothie in there with my name written all over it.”

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Who is Georgia Sutherland?

Georgia Sutherland is the heart of Four and the Rules Undying series as a whole.  She is a no-nonsense pragmatist thrust into a world of neurotic creatures of the night, and she ends up caring for the down on his luck Mr. Geoffrey Lambley, a vampire from the noblest and most powerful house of vampires, who hasn't really made much of his life.