#GENUINELY DONT MEAN TO BE RUDE. i just already went over this entire thing in my head and also heard every argument

[lottieurl]

pinky promise i know things like schedule conflicts exist

[blookmallow]

hi i binged through all of salad fingers for the first time in like 8 years and im fixating again here are. My Theories. pls talk to me if anyone else has Thoughts or wants to discuss things. this is really long i am sorry :’ ) 

also shout out to the salad fingers wiki for helping me keep track of details and also for this 

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thought: salad fingers is not violent on purpose he did not mean to kill that kid 

this is less a theory and more “if you slander my boy with accusations i will Get you” but listen. i see people going “but he mURDERED A CHILD!!” because of the oven incident but listen. listen to me. he didnt mean to and cannot be held to the same standard of morality and understanding consequences as a. person who isn’t..... in whatever situation and mental state he has going on

- yes, the kid getting trapped in the oven was his fault. but it was not intentional or malicious and i sincerely doubt he understands what happened or why. 

he was asking for help reaching the fish (there’s no reason to believe he wasn’t just genuinely asking for help. he tears up in gratitude. theres no evidence of him Tricking People Maliciously in any other context i do not believe he would do that) and was distracted by the rusty nail, causing him to let go of the door. it wasn’t “he cares more about rust than about a child’s life” or something, i dont think he can actually hold “hey look at that i gotta check that out” and “i need to hold the door open so the child doesn’t get hurt” in his head at the same time, rust is his favorite stim/an impulse thing that takes over everything else and his perception of reality and the things going on around him changes very quickly and easily. more on that later. but the important point here is it wasn’t a malicious plot, or a neglectful careless action, he literally did not realize letting go of the door would cause harm 

he stabbed himself accidentally with the nail and passed out for a while (the fact that he immediately bled that much is concerning too, he probably has hemophilia which is. a medical condition outside of his control, as well) and after all that he had completely forgotten about the child altogether (and says “i must have dozed off” so he doesn’t even understand he passed out. and might not remember the nail thing in the first place) 

we don’t see what happened after this, we don’t know how he responds when he investigates the fish and inevitably finds an unexpected charred corpse in there, but i guarantee he won’t remember why its in there or understand that its a corpse. we dont see it again so its. entirely possible he didnt recognize it as a person and either just disposed of it or, uh, ate it. but if he did, it wasn’t with the knowledge and comprehension of it being A Corpse or the memory of how it got there 

theory: on salad fingers and memory / comprehension of death and consequences 

more on that subject

- we see him frequently doing things and then immediately forgetting he did it or forgetting what was happening. he accidentally squishes the bug (which also was not malicious or intentional, he intended to pet it but just. went too hard) and has no understanding either that its dead, or that he killed it. she has gone flat and gooey for some unknown reason. that’s strange. she needs to go have a wash, that’s no way to be. 

he eats the jeremy fisher puppet at one point and then immediately goes “where have you gotten to??” 

he even briefly forgets hubert cumberdale’s name and immediately comes up with another one without realizing it, and then later goes back to hubert cumberdale again with no mention of barbara logan-price 

he refers to the same little yellow guy as “young child” and also Auntie Bainbridge later on. he keeps up the fantasy of... whatever the fuck yvonne was being his child for a pretty long time but then when he arrives at “auntie bainbridge” ‘s house he suddenly forgets why he’s there, and even apparently forgets what yvonne is and uses  ‘her’ as a window rag instead and never mentions it again (I also don’t think she was in the sandwich at the end either. it’s hard to see but the sandwich contents are vaguely brown and theres a visible lump in the black goo behind him. i like the idea that the lil yellow guy made the sandwich for him) 

salad fingers is constantly subconsciously adjusting his reality to fit Whatever Makes The Most Sense At The Time and does not consistently remember things (sometimes even major things. he remembers his puppets the most consistently and still even forgets hubert’s name) or have a concept of cause and effect 

i think he possibly has some sense of recognition, “I’ve seen this person before,” but doesn’t always remember Why he knows them, and his mind just automatically fills in the blank with whatever makes sense to him. he doesn’t remember who the yellow guy is, but knows he knows them Somehow, so, ah, of course, it must be auntie bainbridge out for her sunday stroll :) and he knows he’s there for a reason, but not what that reason was, so he decides it must be time to clean the windows 

- milford cubicle was already dead when salad fingers opens the door, but he has no idea that hes dead. this isn’t even a cause for concern. my, he must be tired, that’s all. he kept milford there until he rotted away, too, so there was never a point where he realized anything was wrong (until he became skeleton. more on That later too) 

- he finds a corpse buried in the yard and rather than confronting the confusing and alarming reality of that situation, why it must be kenneth, back from the great war! at no point does he understand kenneth is definitely dead

theory: kenneth vs glass brother

i think he really did have a brother named kenneth who probably died in the war. could be some subconscious connection between “recognizing” a corpse as his brother, but i dont think he realizes any of that. i think the glass family is probably a trauma based hallucination, but a... well, reflection. pun not exactly intended lmao. on how his real family was and how they treated him

i dont think glass brother is the same brother as kenneth, since salad fingers interacts with them completely differently 

kenneth is a corpse that salad fingers projects a personality on and speaks for, while glass brother seems independent and malicious toward him. i think he had a good relationship with kenneth (so, when salad fingers imagines that he’s here, it’s cause for celebration and he’s projecting onto something inert and “safe”) and also had another brother (who was probably his twin) who bullied him and acted violently, so when that trauma resurfaces, he hallucinates a vicious Other that he cannot control or speak for.

it also tracks that the abusive brother was his twin - he sees himself reflected in the mirror, and something in his own face reminds him of that lost brother until it “becomes” him

he refers to kenneth as his younger brother, and sees him as a being that does not look like him, while glass brother is literally his reflection, so it would make sense if he had one identical twin and one younger brother 

ive seen theories that he had a real sister named bordois too, but i think him calling the bug “little sister” was just. a term of endearment or one of his little odd language quirks, he seemed to be talking to it more like a pet than like a sibling 

theory: regarding mable

- ok people are saying salad fingers killed mable at the picnic but i Really Don’t Think He Did

we never see him acting out violently when he gets scared. he tends to try to escape situations that stress him out, he shrinks, he cries, he goes into his cupboard (which is. incredibly upsetting given the fact he was almost definitely abused by his family) 

he takes on a kind of Authoritative Tone often, he gets sort of ruffled up and disdainful toward things, but that’s not what he does when he’s scared

when he’s actually distressed (rather than irritated) he tends to break down and retreat. this includes when other independent beings act in ways that unsettle and upset him 

so i dont know where the “he freaked out and killed her” idea is coming from. he suddenly goes from outside at the picnic to having a breakdown in his house so. he most likely just ran 

i think the Only time we see him act out violently is when he decides he has to punish marjory for not getting a haircut like he asked - he tears her hair out, but for me that scene was particularly concerning because it was so unlike him. that was an anger response, not a fear response, though, and he tends to be harsher toward things that he’s actually controlling (I don’t think we ever see him decide to Discipline something that was independent from him other than the horses, and he didnt hurt them) 

ordinarily when something irritates him he just goes “hmph! so distasteful. how rude. i shan’t have this behavior, you know” but doesn’t really actually do anything about it, and moves on

anyway we never see mable again so i think either he freaked out and ran away and she just didn’t come back, or he scared her and she ran away, or both 

there’s a dress visible briefly when salad fingers is making his Flesh Boy which could be mable’s (he did comment he liked it) but it’s not 100% clear, and that doesn’t necessarily mean he KILLED her for it. she could have changed into something else and left it somewhere and he found it. she could have died under unrelated circumstances, and salad fingers found her - he doesn’t comprehend death, so. probably he decided they’ve made amends now and she’s given him her dress as a token of friendship, or something 

i dont think it really looks that significantly like hers but the fact that it stands out so distinctly from the rest of the Pile could mean something 

but i just feel like if he had killed her we would’ve seen her corpse again, he doesn’t have a concept of murder, or death at all, or consequences, and his memory doesn’t hold out that consistently, so if he killed her, he probably would have calmed down later and then forgotten what he did and came up with a new way to explain the corpse in front of him - oh, how rude of me, mable’s here dozing right off and i havent even offered her a blanket. let’s get you to bed

like, he probably would have dragged her home with him, with the intention of being a good friend/host to his guest, not understanding what happened. he kept milford cubicle around a really long time  

it wouldn’t be like him to have any concept of hiding the evidence

speaking of milford 

theory: regarding milford cubicle 

salad fingers keeps milford’s corpse around until it starts rotting, and then after a very confusing series of events, the corpse is suddenly a skeleton, which surprisingly alarms salad fingers considerably, and then he goes out to find a whole bunch of himselves eating various bits of gore. they give him a present, which is a hat very clearly made of milford’s skin 

my conclusion: salad fingers, in some kind of dissociative fugue state, skinned and ate the remains of milford cubicle himself and turned the remaining skin into a hat. he also saves some of it to make hubert cumberdale (the real boy) later as well, probably forgetting where it came from. he does not realize he’s done this or remember doing it, so his scrambled mind tries to make sense of it with other selves eating unknown flesh, and a lovely hat appearing (which he doesn’t seem to notice is made of flesh) 

you can also see milford’s original name tag in the drawer later on when he’s building the flesh boy, so. he kept that after the mysterious disappearance of milford’s flesh, apparently. more evidence that that skin is probably also his

some other scattered thoughts regarding the most recent string of episodes and salad fingers’ mental state: 

ive been trying to figure out what the fuckhell happened with the yvonne incident and everything that happened in the birthday episode

im really concerned for salad fingers’ health and mental state, as it seems to be deteriorating 

some yvonne theories ive seen:

1. he ate the burned corpse of the kid who died in the oven, and it made him very sick, which ultimately resulted in a charred mass he couldn’t digest - he steadily gets worse, until his body finally ejects it (yvonne’s “birth”) and after that his health starts to recover again. since the oven incident happens really early on, all the times he mentions his stomach being upset after that until he becomes deathly ill would make sense, so i think this is plausible 

2. the hair he found in the cupboard was actually a parasitic worm that grew in his stomach after he ate it and became yvonne. i think this is Possible, it is a really strangely wormy looking hair, but it doesn’t move and he mentions stomach pains before this, so it seems less likely to me 

3. i also saw the concept that salad fingers is a trans man who suffered a miscarriage at some point in his past and yvonne represents that, and i can definitely see where the idea is coming from but i do think something really physically happened to him in the present time, i dont think it was all a trauma-based hallucination, since the yellow guy reacts to the black ooze and something was definitely making him severely ill 

so. i Don’t Know what the fuck that was about but i think the burnt corpse theory makes the most sense 

on that note: there’s a lot of cannibalism imagery in salad fingers 

we have no IDEA where he’s getting food from. im pretty sure its been confirmed that he is Not a zombie, we see him bleed, pass out, sleep, etc so it seems like he must be a living person who has ordinary needs. but we see him eat... his own puppets. hairs. sand. the soup glass mother instructed him to make, which made him very sick. he has a working oven but doesn’t seem to have consistent access to water. he had a fish somehow but who knows where it came from. it’s very likely he doesn’t get food often and some of his hallucinations and mood swings could be caused by starvation (and when he does eat, it’s things that are outright inedible or probably not good for him) 

the burned corpse disappears and is never mentioned again (though salad fingers is very sick afterward). milford’s flesh disappears and salad fingers violently hallucinates multiple selves gorging themselves on unknown flesh

and what concerns me the most about that is that he loses a lot of time in that episode 

he passes out in the woods and when he wakes up, it looks like a shit ton of time has passed

we don’t know how much is reality and how much is his warped perception, but it looks like a tree has grown and his physical condition has deteriorated 

he looks really, really unhealthy and haggard for the rest of the episode 

i think he had a huge dissociative episode and lost possibly weeks of time, probably due to starvation, and he ate milford cubicle and very possibly other people as well 

so my question is. how often does this happen to him

and what happens to him during that state? does he become violent and dangerous without being aware of it when he returns to himself again? or has he just been ravenously scavenging corpses when he gets desperate enough? 

its possible dr papanak is another personality he has, one that’s “buried out in the woods” that he becomes when he’s in a really, really bad mental and physical state 

he looks much better in the next episode (though that’s also when he has his outburst with marjory. could be that he’s still staving off the violent urges/hasn’t fully come back to himself after the last incident) and I’m really hoping the fact that he was able to finally stand up to his family (at least in some sense) and smash the mirrors could mean he’s making steps toward recovery after whatever the hell all that was 

there’s not really much space to do anything with his life or get much help given the circumstances but watching him slowly losing himself even more is Awful :( 

i hope we get more episodes im so desperate for more information now 

lastly, some random observations 

i tried to read this newspaper and it looks like it’s actually written in french, which is interesting given that salad fingers seems to be british (but fond of france, and seems to speak french or at least knows one phrase) 

i wonder where he got this, or whether it ever meant something significant to him

theres a lot of evidence that he can’t read (takes no notice of the “harry” nametag and immediately names him something else, “reads” a letter that is actually a newspaper clipping in another language he’s holding upside down, “writes” a letter that is just scribbles) so i dont think he learned his one french phrase from this or anything but, still. vaguely interesting. maybe he has been to france before and brought this back with him for some reason. maybe he’s actually in post apocalyptic france and was just originally from england. We Don’t Know 

theres a weird little face in the. heater? whatever that is in the background for a second and i dont like it  

salad fingers leaves horace in charge, but then sees him (as a live horse) in the woods, but then comes back to find him both still on the shelf (as a toy) and in the room (as a live horse, now with his, uh, surgery scars) but doesn’t seem to notice this and doesn’t comment on it 

i dont know what the hell that means other than possibly his reality is even less consistent and logical than usual/a reflection on his mental state deteriorating 

[writerofshit]

(I mentioned briefly a story of how the Stream Team met. This is that story.)

Somewhere in Los Santos, in the late night hours of a Tuesday, a convenience store is robbed. So is one several blocks southeast. And one roughly in the middle of them both. After all, what's more convenient than 24 hour chili dogs on every other street corner?

Cash. Cash is more convenient. So are guns. Hollering, waving one to get the other. Most important, back alleys that twist and turn, snaking away from increasingly distant sirens. Three individuals find themselves running through these alleys, a couple grand each weighing their pockets down.

It's through serendipity and convenience that their paths cross.

The man from the farthest store arrives first. He's done this a few more times than he'd like to admit, so he'd had a plan. Of sorts. Cut through the park, take a few sidewalks like an upstanding citizen, under the bridge and find a fire escape to utilize from there. There aren't any that reach the ground, of course, because he's smart but not quite enough.

And so this is why Trevor is standing in an dark alley, contemplating whether or not the dumpster will give him enough height to reach the ladder, when the man from the middle store appears. He's around Trevor's height, but would probably win in a fight between them, if he were so inclined. He doesn't seem to be, though. He seems shaken, like he's not quite sure how he ended up in this alley. He's holding a gun almost gingerly, as if it might bite him.

Trevor pulls his own gun.

'dont you fuckin' try anything!'

This does not go over well with Matt. He takes a step back, and then seems to remember that he also has a gun so maybe this is even footing. He holds it aloft, finger nowhere near the trigger.

'same, asshole!'

At this moment the robber from the first store arrives, also, of course, with a gun. And a mask. And an entire purple and orange neon fucking suit, actually, topped with a white cowboy hat. It gives them a few extra inches of height they are distinctly lacking, comparatively. Somewhere in the back of his head, Trevor acknowledges that this newcomer could probably kick his and the other gunman's asses. It is not a pleasant thought.

'oh, what the fuck!?'

Jeremy sounds more annoyed and less scared than one would think, considering they've run into an alley only to find two men with guns. Two men who quickly turn those guns on them.

'who the fuck are you?'

The question surprises them all, including Matt, even though he's the one who asked. As it turns out, people have a tendency to say the first thing that comes to mind when in a stressful situation. Such as, having robbed a convenience store for the very first time and immediately finding himself face to face with other apparent robbers. It would get to anyone, probably.

'i don't want any trouble, but i've already robbed someone tonight and i don't give a shit about felony murder!'

Two lies and a truth, is what Trevor has chosen to play, for some reason. In reality, one does not rob a convenience store at gun point if one is intent on staying out of trouble. And he does, in fact, care very deeply about felony murder. Felony murder is the precise reason he'd shot a bag of Doritos and not a clerk. In his defense, the clerk had initially rolled her eyes at him, asked what exactly he thought he'd get out of this. He'd found this question rude.

The truth, of course, is that he did rob a convenience store. That did happen. No take backs.

'so did i!'

Matt and Jeremy speak so in unison it's almost scary. If they didn't know any better, they'd think the two of them had always known each other.

Trevor's gun wavers between them, unsure which is the bigger threat. The guy who clearly has zero experience with guns, or the weirdo who seems to have far too much? It's a toss up, really. So his aim pinballs back and forth, but his finger does not curl around the trigger. He's serious about that felony murder thing.

The air seems to shift, suddenly, and the sound of sirens is now growing closer. This evidently also annoys Jeremy, and they throw a glance over their shoulder to the direction they'd come from. Red and blue lights flicker past.

'shit. ok. we're all robbers, i guess, and we're all fucked if we keep standing here. who's got a plan?'

Jeremy's eyes are staring impatiently at Trevor. Eyes being the only part of their face Trevor can see. And their hands, a plastic bag in one and a gun in the other.

Trigger finger is an apt name.

He glances at Matt, still wild eyed and glancing back and forth. No, Matt probably does not have a plan. He sort of gives the impression that he's never had a plan ever, actually. That perhaps he'd simply woken up here and decided to wing it. So Trevor makes an offer.

'fire escape?'

There's another moment of tense silence. Well, minus the sirens. And oh, helicopters. Even better. Jeremy shrugs.

'good a plan as any.'

And then they're off, brushing past Trevor and hoisting themself up onto the dumpster. He knew it could work. Trevor blinks and Jeremy has caught the ladder, is quickly working their way up. Shit, how does five foot something manage to get that high on a good day, much less in this situation and with a bag and gun in hand?

Matt's gun clatters to the ground, and honestly, that's probably for the best. He's climbing onto the dumpster now, and he mutters something about not signing up for this shit. Trevor reminds him that he apparently robbed someone, so yeah, he kind of did.

Before Trevor climbs up, he shoves his gun into his jacket pocket. Smart? Probably not. Convenient? More so than climbing with a gun in his hand. He follows Matt up the ladder, wondering what happened to his plan. Yeah, the ladder had been involved. Two other people, however, were not.

Above them, glass shatters.

'warning, maybe!?'

'oops. careful, there's glass.'

Jeremy's voice is no longer directly above them. Instead, it comes from one story up and a little to the left. So they've broken into an apartment. Sure, add breaking and entering to the list of charges, that sounds great. But Matt and Trevor follow, because there's not really another option.

Inside the apartment, Jeremy's mask is gone. The suit is quickly disappearing as well, revealing a rather boring outfit of a white tank top and...sweatpants? The true mystery lies in where the cowboy hat has gone to, because that's a hard item to miss.

'do we really have time for this? don't you think someone might, oh, i don't know, wake up and call the cops?'

Trevor doesn't mean to hiss, it's just that he's sure there's more pressing matters to attend to than an outfit change. Continuing to flee, perhaps.

'nobody's gonna wake up.'

They don't even have the wherewithal to lower their voice. It registers to Trevor that Jeremy's bag and gun are missing as well. Had they dropped them on the way up? It was certainly possible. Trevor thinks he would have noticed a gun flying past his head, but there's a lot going on.

'can we maybe not kill anyone? he brought up a good point with that felony murder thing.'

It's the most words Matt has strung together since he'd shown up. It's damn near a whisper, but at least it's progress.

'i'm not- god, can you two shut up? i gotta make a phone call.'

Jeremy yanks the door open, hand carefully wrapped in the fabric of their shirt. For a moment, Trevor thinks they're leaving and steps forward to follow Jeremy. Instead, Jeremy turns and heads toward the kitchen, pulling open a drawer and digging inside it briefly. They come back with a cell phone.

Something dawns on Trevor.

'is this- do you live here? did you break your own window?'

Jeremy doesn't answer. They put the phone to their ear.

'you're gonna wanna hide whatever you've got. and try not to look like you just climbed in through a window.'

And then-

'hello? yes, hi, i'd like to report a break in, i think? i was hearing a bunch of sirens and then i don't know what happened but some guy just broke my window? he ran through and i just- my friends and i are really scared and we didn't know what to do- yes, we're ok, he's gone, but we- you'll send someone? ok, thank you. the address? oh, uh, it's the del perro heights building, apartment 7. should i shut the door? no, don't touch anything. ok- guys, don't touch anything, she said someone's on their way to check on us! thank you so much- no, i think we'll be fine. thank you.'

It's a marvelous performance. Jeremy genuinely sounds like some poor flustered victim of a crime. Trevor would applaud if he thought Jeremy would appreciate it. Almost immediately, their voice is back to normal.

'check things out my ass. they're gonna show up, ask which way he went and never call me again. feel real fuckin safe.'

Jeremy settles themself onto the couch, choosing the spot closest to the door. Matt, who has apparently gotten over his initial terror, wanders into the kitchen. Searching for something to distract himself, if Trevor had to guess. Trevor is still standing in the middle of the living room, dumbfounded. How did a simple robbery become hanging out with other robbers, waiting for cops to show up?

'i'm jeremy, by the way. they won't ask, but y'know. just in case.'

They're flipping channels on the tv, seeming to arbitrarily skip almost a dozen programs. Finally, they settle on one and stand. Trevor recognizes it as an old Disney movie, and desperately wants to ask why the fuck Jeremy has put this on.

'uh, hi. i'm trevor. why are we watching Mulan?'

'matt. oh hell yeah, i love this movie!'

He sounds remarkably cheerful, considering the circumstances. How Trevor had seemingly switched places with Anxious McGee is beyond him. He needs to get it together. He pulls his gun from his pocket and takes it to the kitchen, sticking it in the drawer Jeremy had taken the phone from. There are several other phones of varying price point. He steps back to the living room just in time.

'that's why.'

They don't elaborate. Apparently Trevor is meant to just figure this out on his own, which ordinarily he might be able to do. After the course of events of this particular evening? Not a chance.

But he can't ask, because now there's a cop in the doorway and he's staring at Trevor and that will never be a good thing. Trevor stares back. He has no clue what he's meant to say. Hello? Welcome? He went that way?

'oh thank god! we've been so terrified, we didn't know if he'd come back or what he'd do.'

Naturally, Jeremy has taken lead on this. They're a phenomenal actor, Trevor has to admit.

'did you see which direction he went?'

'toward the stairs, i think. we've all been rooted to the spot, you know, it's so scary-'

Matt freezes in the doorway of the kitchen. He's just out of the view from the front door.

'right, well. you boys did the right thing by calling. can you give me a description of the man?'

The corner of Jeremy's mouth quirks.

'gosh, it all just happened so fast. taller than me, probably, but shorter than you, wouldn't you say, trey?'

Trevor nods, because he's not quite sure what else to do.

'alright, thank you. someone will be in touch with you for an official statement. in the meantime, if you remember anything else don't hesitate to call.'

He's holding a card out to Trevor, of all people. He takes it carefully, like if he does it wrong somehow the guy will know and arrest them all. The card is simply the number for a tip line.

As suddenly as he'd arrived, the cop is gone and they're all breathing sighs of relief. Jeremy closes the door.

'you guys can stay for Mulan, if you want.'

So they do.

Trevor asks about why Mulan again, and Jeremy explains that they assume most people have seen it, could answer any questions about it if they came up. Perhaps, if LSPD officers were less incompetent, they would have. Although if that were the case, they wouldn't be LSPD officers at all.

Matt asks about the window, and Jeremy says yes, they did break their own window. Of course they'd had an actual plan when they'd entered the alley. They were always going to end up exactly here, give or take the extras. Asking for a plan was simply a test, determining the merit in bring them along. They'd passed.

Jeremy asks if they want to stay for Mulan II, which is apparently up next. They do.

Somewhere in Los Santos, in the early morning hours of a Wednesday, three convenience stores are recovering from three separate robberies. Right in the middle of them all, their respective robbers are sitting on a couch together, watching a straight to video children's film.

It is the beginning of something far greater than any of them can imagine.

[burnedbyshoto]

a brush of luck

— In a world where soulmates exist you can communicate yours with a brush of a pen. It just doesn’t help that you are a certified idiot with a skill in misplacing things. —

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pairing: todoroki shouto x reader

warnings: fluff, angst, soulmate!au, cursing

word count: 4,229

a/n: this is for the bnaharem collab and I was super horrible and was not ready and i just woke up and threw this together please dont hate me uhuhuhuhhh see the masterlist here!!!

message to join my tag list!

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“Hey, y/l/n, you forget this!”

Your hair was falling into your face, your face flustered, and your binders filled with paper seemed to be liquid as they slowly fell to the ground.

Kaminari stood behind you when you turned around. His lips were picked into a kind smile. It was a teasing one too by the small glint in his eyes while he held onto your backpack and phone. A look of self-realized stupidity washed over your face when your head threw back into a groan. How stupid were you, really?

“I’m so sorry!” you exclaimed, throwing your things onto the nearest desk. You felt the tips of your ears burn with embarrassment when Kaminari helped you slip on your backpack and pocketed your phone in the jacket pocket. “I swear I’m the most forgetful person in the world.”

“Well, you do really clinch the title of the person who would forget their head if it wasn’t on their shoulders.”

Snorting, you shoved him with your shoulder, and he helped you regather your things with a low groan.

“Let’s see the tattoo,” you grin, ready to head out once again. Groaning loudly, Kaminari didn’t seem to want to give in to your demand, but still, with a twitch of his eye and a shove of his sleeve, he showed off his arm. “You know what, I’m going to say it—”

“I’m going to say it, I don’t care that you broke your elbows,” Kaminari finishes the phrase with you with a snort.

“Do you think it’s the first thing out of their mouth or matching tattoo?” you asked curiously when you blond best friend also prepped to leave the classroom for the day. 

“I hope its the first thing out of their mouth, imagine how fucking ultra sexy foxy hot that would be,” Kaminari moaned, his eyes rolling to the back of his eyes at the thought. Gagging at the visual horniness of that thought, you walked away, grinning at the way that Kaminari stumbled over his feet to catch up with you.

This was the world you lived in, the world of soulmates.

You weren’t sure when they had first started, but you know that it wasn’t always a phenomenon that was around. When you roamed the internet looking at old, old stories on soulmates, these theories, these worlds were built on one single concept.

They wrote about a world of black and white for everyone until that fateful moment, or matching tattoos for everyone. But no, this world was much more complicated, much more detailed. Yes, in the world there were a lot of theories that ended up being true, but the thing they didn’t see coming was that every couple — every polyamorous relationship consisted of a unique theme.

Kaminari’s soulmate was linked with tattoo’s, and the purpose behind said symbol was unknown, unheard of until he met them. Yours, as you could guess and know, was also different. Pressing your fingers against the pen that sat on the inside pocket of your uniform jacket, you smiled when Kaminari’s arm was thrown around you.

“At least you’ve never lost or forgotten that pen of yours, that would be dangerous!”

“I promise I will never ever forget it.”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

You sat on your bed nearing midnight. You were cocooned into your blankets flipping through your Hero Lawbook that you were supposed to have read months ago, but now finally was. Humming to yourself, you read through the apparent laws and the not so evident laws.

For instance, there is a law that Pro Heroes are not allowed to eat off the edge of buildings anymore! American transfer students had littered so much it became a law!

Snorting to yourself, you flipped the page.

But something warm pressed into your forearm, the most heated energy that sent shivers down your spine. It was comforting as it was ethereal. The second your body recognized the feeling, the Hero Lawbook went soaring across the room, and you grabbed your pen that was waiting at your side for ages now. 

Hi, sorry I’m just able to get back to you. I had a bunch of homework and friends who just let me leave them.

Smiling to yourself, you twirled the pen in your fingers and scribbled down your response:

It’s all good, I’ve been studying this entire time too, was just bored and didn’t respond to you earlier today!

Your soulmate theme was straightforward and quite comprehensive — it was dubbed the Forearm and Pen theme (you hated that theme). You could communicate with your soulmate by writing with the pen on your arm, but it only worked with that pen, nothing else.

The year you were to turn sixteen, you received a pen from literally out of the blue. You remember celebrating New Year with your class in your first year at U.A.; it had been an enjoyable night! Everything in life was still going fantastic, and your class was finally past the excellent friend’s point and felt like a genuine family. You remember hugging and telling everyone good night, still being fifteen at that point, and stumbling back to your room exhausted.

When you had gotten back to your room, you didn’t even undress; simply tugging off your pants and removing your bra, you threw yourself onto the bed. But you had landed on something stiff and painful, groaning your hands shuffled for whatever it was that you fell on, and when you grabbed it, you froze at the sight of the white box. 

Was this a gift?

Your entire life, you had always wondered if you did have a soulmate, most people you knew after all had soulmate markers that appeared since birth. But you were perfectly normal. You saw all colors; you had no shared pain; there was no tattoo, no mind link, no dream meetings.

Nothing.

You were normal.

Sighing, you opened the box, hoping that it was from someone you at the very least respected.

Inside was a silver pen.

You blinked your eyes rapidly, unsure of what you were looking at, there were no initials, no engraving, nothing. 

It was an exquisite pen, and despite what you thought, it was very, very light. Frowning, your fingers pushed down on the pen, but there was nothing that came out, was there no ink?

Shrugging, you dragged it against your arm feeling the way that the cool tip delicately massaged your arm. It felt nice.

“Holy shit!”

Your eyes saw the pretty grey silvery ink on your forearm. It stood out against your skin, the ink appearing nowhere else but your arm, and then it hit you.

This was for your soulmate!

With excitement tearing through you, your exhaustion no longer bitting on your skull, but the overwhelming need to know that this was for your soulmate shook you awake. Twirling the pen in your fingers, you couldn’t help but start writing.

OMG HI

You sat there staring at your forearm, unsure as to what to do next. What do you do next?

Hey?

If your heart could be anywhere but your chest, you were nearly positive it existed within your throat at this very moment. This was nervewracking, holy shit.

Sorry, you don’t know me, but I’m ___ ___.

You frowned when you tried to write your name, it was stopping you.

It seems that we do have some rules to this entire thing.

They responded back to you, and as if they could hear you, you groaned loudly.

This soulmate shit was already stopping your excitement, it seemed.

From that very first night, the two of you were able to discover a few things. First off, anything too personal was not allowed to be written out. So names, location, and gender were the biggest ones. Birthdays were not, and you were quick to find out that both of you were still fifteen. Second of all, just because you couldn’t figure out where exactly you both were located, you did manage to put together that you were both in Japan. Third of all, your soulmate was a Hero in Training just like you and was a male. Last, of all, you were quick to realize that you were in love with the way your body felt like it was gently warming up whenever he messaged you.

I think I deserve a round of applause.

You grinned after writing your sentence, your eyes watching while the warmth filled your body and his writing slowly appearing on your forearm.

Did you not forget anything today? I find that hard to believe.

You had to suppress a scream.

WELL, IT HAPPENED! I GOT EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO BRING BACK TO MY ROOM WITH ME!!

Weren’t you the one who forgot to bring your entire backpack to school the other day?

NO! I said I almost did, but my bestie got it for me!

How do you forget everything? I think you should try to make a list to make sure that you always have things you need for the day.

... I do… but I always lose the list, and im always running late…

You’re the worst…

Congrats bbg, I’m your soulmate

The world really doesn’t want to bless me with a good life, it seems…

HEY, THAT’S MEAN!

The two of you banter for what seems like hours, the night sky fading from blackness to the deep blue of the sky right before the sunrise. You had spent the entire night curled into your pillow, your face shoved into the soft fabric to suppress your chortling snorts because you geniunely enjoyed interacting with your soulmate. But it was late, and you both had classes early that next morning.

Okay, asshole, I need to sleep! I got this stupid test tomorrow that I did not study for. I'll write to ya tomorrow!! Goodnight!!!

Don’t be rude to your soulmate :( but goodnight, and good luck on that test, sorry for keeping you up.

Smiling at his words, you put the pen to your forearm one last time.

I will never ever accept your apology for making me stay up, I love talking with you, goodnight soulmate, sweet dreams.

You placed the pen down, your eyes fluttering close, heavy with sleep. But still, no exhaustion could suppress the fluttering warmth in your body when words appeared on your arm. 

Sweet dreams, soulmate.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“Fuck, sorry,” you groaned when you sleepily slammed into the person standing in front of you. 

Blinking tiredness away from your eyes — poorly at that too — you focused up at Shouto. Grinning, you waved at your classmate, who looked almost as exhausted as you felt and definitely looked.

“It’s okay,” he nodded at you stepping to the side so that the two of you could walk side to side.

“You ready for that test today?” you asked after moments of silence.

You and Todoroki Shouto were not as close as you would like to be. Since day one, you had always had a thing for the duality of a man, and while it was mostly superficial feelings derived from the fact that he was attractive above anything else, it still made you awkward around him. At the time, your feelings were still holding you down, you always fully believed that you had no soulmate, so you thought maybe you could sweep him off his feet. It was rumored that his scar covered up his own soulmate mark, so there was no way for him to know who his soulmate was.

Selfishly and embarrassingly, you hoped that you could have him.

Then you met your soulmate, and things changed.

But now you and your classmates were all eighteen and held the world in your hands, yet you couldn’t speak to him usually still.

“There’s no test today?” Shouto stilled, his eyes narrowing in confusion, and your eyes screwed too.

“Isn’t it… Friday? We have a Hero Law test?”

“Y/l/n,” Shouto snorted a grin spreading across his features, “It’s Wednesday.”

If there was a god, he would shoot you right now.

Your cheeks burned with embarrassment while you walked faster to the classroom, Shouto keeping up with your pace easily, he was taller than you after all.

“Shut up,” you warned, your gaze not reaching Shouto’s who was staring at you.

“I wasn’t speaking.”

“I could hear you thinking!”

Shouto put on a smirk, his eyes teasing you, and his mouth dropping to speak, but there was a loud interruption.

“Y/L/N-CHAAAANNNNNN!!!!”

Both of you turned to see Kaminari chasing after you, his arms waving, looking out of breath.

“YOU FORGOT YOUR JACKET AND TIE!”

Shouto chuckled beside you, and you stared down to see that you were, in fact, only wearing half of your uniform. If there’s a god, he will end you now, you thought.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

You're not serious right now, are you?

Going on three years of knowing your soulmate, or at the very least talking with him, you thought you had a good understanding of who he was. He was strong, powerful, and kind. He came off a bit standoffish at times but was the dumbest person you’ve ever known. Common sense was not his friend, and that was okay. 

Even at times when the two of you had your differing opinions because it did happen, it never snowballed more into a small annoyance that the two of you would apologize for and move on. But this was something that shouldn’t have had become a fight, it shouldn’t have been anything more potent than a difference of opinion, but when you suggested entertaining the thought of when the two of you would finally meet, he was uncharacteristically cold. 

Hurt by his tone, you told him, and he said you to grow up until it became this written fight.

Why couldn’t you talk about meeting?

Why didn’t he want to think about what would happen when the two of you would meet?

It was getting ugly for no reason, a fight just to fight, and it was making you nauseous.

But he crossed a line that couldn’t be fixed when he wrote a simple sentence:

Just because you’re my soulmate doesn’t mean I have to love you, meet you, or marry you.

So there you sat, your bottom lip trembling with tears streaking down your blotchy face. He wasn’t being serious, was he? There was no way… no fucking way this was him. The warmth that flooded your body with his new message felt ice-cold, poisoning you from the inside out while you read it.

You're my soulmate, but I have no obligation to do anything with you now or ever. The world chose you for me, not me. I didn’t choose you. I don’t owe you anything here. Soulmates are bullshit and don’t fucking bother messaging me again if you expect me to fall in love with you just because our “souls are connected”

It was needless to say that you didn’t respond back, not because you felt like he should love you because of your connected souls, but because your sobbing and broken emotions left you curled into a ball, ready for a sleepless slumber to take you.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“You don’t look too hot,” Kaminari told you, hitting you with his foot when your bleary and puffy eyes stared at your best friend.

Kirishima and Mina, who were sitting beside him, elbowed him at the same time, berating him for his insensitive comment. You could feel Sero and Bakugou staring at you, their eyes concerned and curious. 

“What’s eating ya up?” Sero asked, and you found a rock-forming in your throat when you shrugged.

“Soulmate problems…”

“That was fucking obvious,” Bakugou rolled his eyes, taking a drink of his water. “Tell us the problem, not a stupid summary.”

Surprisingly that’s all it took for you to come undone, and you explained what happened with tears falling down your face and a sniffling nose. There was a lot to tell them about it, and you showed them the pen while explaining the entire story. They listened to every word you uttered, faces concern but taking in everything you said.

“You’re an idiot,” Bakugou spoke the second you were finished, his eye twitching while he glared at you. You swallowed thickly, placing the pen on the table while Bakugou edged closer towards you. “He’s not wrong, you know, stupid fucking soulmates are just this irrational solution to an irrational problem. Love is much more complex than that, and you don’t seem to have been fighting for him in that way either, sure you seem like good friends, but that doesn’t give you the right to expect him to love you. But he was a complete fucking dick about it, so I say kill him.”

Your — and all of the rest of your friend group — eyes widened at his words. With nothing to follow him up, you all continued to stare at him while he munched on his food.

“WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING EXTRAS LOOKING AT!”

“Is Bakugou a love expert?” Mina’s stage whispered to the group.

“He almost was, but then he said to kill y/n’s soulmate, so probably not anymore,” Kirishima responded back.

“SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I KILL YOU!”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

It took four days before the warm feeling shot through your body again.

Fuck, I'm really sorry, I was a complete fucking dick. I said a lot of things, and i didn’t mean to say I was angry and upset, and I know that you're upset, rightfully upset, but i don’t want to lose you.

No matter how long it took for him to get back to you, your heart squeezed with euphoria and poison, your hands moving to grab your pen in your pocket.

It wasn’t there.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

You tore apart your room, trying to find the silver pen but you couldn’t find it.

Stay as mad as you want, I just… please talk with me soon, even if it takes five days. I'm sorry, soulmate.

Frustrated tears poured down your face, nausea almost making you wheeze when you stared at the words you wanted to reply to.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

One day after he apologized:

Don’t want to bother you, just wanted to apologize again and say that I miss you, talk to you soon.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

Five days after he apologized:

I’m not really sure if this is normal or not… I'm not really… educated when it comes to romance and shit like that, especially when it comes to someone being upset with the other… my female classmates told me that I should expect a response from you soon. I'm really sorry, please write soon.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

So it seems that i’ve fucked up to the point of no return. I'm sorry, I miss you, I love you. Maybe one day I can reconvince you that I'm your soulmate for a good reason, but I guess I’ll have to work on that.

It had been fourteen days since he had apologized, and you sat in your room with tears streaming down your face. You wanted to respond back, but even fourteen days of tirelessly searching U.A.’s entire campus, ripping it stone by stone, there was no finding your pen. Every day without fail, he gave you an update of his day and another apology. Every day they got more hopeless, more pained.

This was his last message for a while, he needed time to work things out with himself now, the strain of this and graduation coming soon being too much to handle at the moment. 

Wiping your tears for what felt like the hundredth time within this past twenty minutes, you stood up on your wobbly legs to go downstairs for water. You were dehydrated and absolutely needed to get out for both fresh air and water.

Walking down the stairwell with swollen eyes, you groaned when you slammed into a body when you opened the door to the common area. 

Shouto blinked down at you, and you felt your throat clampdown at the pained look in his own eyes.

“Have you been—”

“Are you—”

You both spoke over each other, and despite the horrid feeling coursing through your bones, you cracked a smile.

“I’m getting water,” you explained with a shrug. “Long night ya know, just needed to replenish my system so I can cry some more.”

Shouto stared at you, and with horror, you realized precisely what you had said.

“Oh my god, ignore me!” you squeak, covering your face trying to move past him, but Shouto seemed to be curious now and followed after you.

“What’s making you cry?” he asked while you rush to the fridge to get your glass of water.

“What’s got you upset?” you counter downing the cup of water.

Shouto sighed, leaning against the counter of the island in the kitchen. “Would it be weird to say its soulmate issues?”

Swallowing the water in your mouth, you shook your head, a tired smile on your face, “Embarrassingly enough, my issue is also with soulmate stuff.”

A joyless chuckle escaped his mouth, and Shouto’s head tilted backward. You studied his jaw and the way his body seemed tense, too tense.

“What happened?” you press gently standing next to him, shouldering him gently.

“I fucked up, and now my soulmate won’t talk with me,” he says slowly, his head nodding while he glances at you. “I guess telling your soulmate you don’t want them is a bad thing.”

You snorted, nodding your head in agreement, “It’s not just a bad thing, its a super fucked up thing.”

Shouto sighed in agreement, and there was silence when you took another drink of your water.

“I didn’t know you were in contact with your soulmate, though,” you smile wistfully, your hand twirling the cup on the counter. “How’d you meet them?”

“I actually don’t know who they are,” Shouto admitted with pursed lips, and your eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “I have that soulmate thing where you write on your arm, and they can read it.”

Showing off his arm, you glanced at the pale skin. You nodded your head when he pulled out a silver pen that looked similar to yours.

“Well,” you shrug your shoulders, motioning him to write. “I’m no expert, but let’s see if I can help you get your soulmate to forgive you.”

“T-They haven’t responded to me in two weeks…” Shouto’s voice cracks, and the number burns a hole through your stomach. “I’ve written every day, but no answer. I don’t really know what to do, and all the girls in the class don’t really know what to do. Bakugou also said to go fuck myself over it, so I don’t think I really have had any help.”

Ignoring the twisting in your stomach, you willed your weirdness away to shuffle in your seat, “Well, you haven’t asked me, asshole, come on, let’s see what I can do.”

Shouto chuckles, his head nodding, “That is true, but to be fair, you’ve been anywhere, but in the dorm these past few weeks.”

“I lost something,” you mutter embarrassed, but you shake away your problems and point at his wrist. “Write an apology.”

You watched when he wrote, the words expressing his apology and love seeping through the silvery ink on his wrist. You told him to add things to delete things, but in the end, it ended up feeling like a genuine and sincere apology. You watched his pen leave his skin and a warmth shot through your arm. 

Shivering, you looked at your arm, trying to see what your soulmate had written to you even though he said he was going to stop.

The words he wrote appeared on your skin.

Your eyes widened when you stared at Shouto, who was also staring at your arm. 

Your eyes met in an almost world-altering way. This entire time, for three whole years, the two of you had been by each other and never knew. Midnight conversations wasted through ink instead of face to face. Your heart hammered in your throat, and tears once again poured from your eyes when you both stood at full height, staring at each other.

Todoroki Shouto was your soulmate — he was yours, and you were his.

“I’m so sorry, y/n, I don’t know what happened to me. You didn’t deserve that, and fuck, I’m so sorry—”

“I lost my pen, and I couldn’t respond back, I forgave you, but I had no way of reaching back! But I was always forcing myself onto you—”

You both interrupted the other, and now you stared at each other, drinking in the presence of each other and belittling yourselves for not knowing sooner; looking at it now, it was just so obvious. You can’t help it and pull him into a hug. His strong arms wrap around you, and you can hear his hammering heart on your ear, and it fills you up with the familiar warmth when he writes you. This seemed to be a brush of luck it seems.

“Can I kiss you, soulmate.”

“Please do.”

[soclonely]

Why do you like Jar Jar so much, if its ok to ask! I see so much hate for him and I am sort of indifferent about him myself.

I've touched base on it a little before but don't mind getting into it again! AND ITS TOTALLY OK TO ASK!! I love talking 🥺🥺

Okay so I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma outside of OKC. Like, the only thing that matters to most people there is OU Football (BOOMER SOONER), when the next tornado season is going to start (we lost two home to two of the biggest ones in the states history when I was growing up), and the kids sports. ALLLL the kids stuff. See, I played softball and cheered and all that junk. I think I was about 8-9 when this happened- still in elementary for sure- but I thought it would be okay to share my love of star wars (as big then as it is now) with some of my friends that came over after one of our many games. WELL I thought it went okay, until I went to school the next day and a lot of my little girlfriends decided to make fun of me about it, calling me a boy and weird and just terrible things. Hearing then make fun of something that me and my entire family loved really, really hurt me and so it was a bit of a struggle for a few days there. I was already going through enough at a young age so the added new discovery of friends being big assholes to a young girl just blows my mind. Well see, what these girls didn't bank on was me telling my mother, a very direct woman who takes no shit when it comes to their kids, and her going directly to the parents at our practice one day and asking them you know "wtf can we do about this situation to make it not a big deal.", with my passive dad in tow.

And I get and totally support some of the arguments these other moms said like "well kids dont have to like the same things!" and all that. But there is a fine line between not enjoying the same books and shows, and sending a little girl home crying everyday because you can't stop picking on her about it. And my mom said that multiple times, BUT as a lot of you could guess it made no difference. Eventually mom just gave up, told me to stay away from the little brats right in front of their parents, and we went home.

And now onto the Binkster love. I remember sitting with my dad later that night. And as I have said and shown a few people before, my dad is basically the living embodiment of Tech: little hyperfixated nerd man who gets awkward but caring. We were just watching the Phantom Menace together, and he always does the gungan voices to make us laugh. And it was just really nice to have that. And we talked about how JarJar was this weirdo outcast, even to the gungans, but he ended up being a very important part of the trilogy and to anakin and padme and a great friend. Despite some(most of the fandom) people not liking him, he's still there. And through all the scoffing he gets from Obi Wan, Qui-Gon, and basically everyone else in the galaxy, he still did what he could for his friends and never cared about the rude people he encountered. Anyway... cheesy and lame but that memory of being with my usually awkward and silent dad became one of the most important things to develop me as the person I am today. Thus, making JarJar important and a lifelong love was formed!

And for those of you wondering what happened to the mean and rude girls I was friends with, possibly hoping they ended up miserarble and sad. Nope! All 6 of us (known as the 6 pack(derogatory/affectionately) by teachers) grew up together, finished school, and had a a lot of ups and downs as friends. We all realized slowly that some of us like certain things while others don't, and thats okay! The girl who initially initiated the bullying actually came to visit me 2 years ago here in Orlando and the best time we had was going to HS to show her Galaxy's Edge

I genuinely just never, ever will make fun of something another person likes. Even if its not my own personal cup of tea. Why waste the energy? Im gonna siit here with my cup full of Gungan Swampwater and be happy!

[neverdoingmuch]

I just really love Two Person Love Triangles and Identity Porn. So, maybe a You've Got Mail AU? Or a superhero AU when one of them falls for both the masked hero and the secret identity?

because i love both of these aus i’ve written both!! but they’re pretty long bc i wouldn’t be me if i didn’t plot out an entire fic so the superhero au is here. 

as for the you’ve got mail au, i went off and watched the movie for the first time and i am delighted by your taste anon,,, the au works so well!! 

(okay for some reason tumblr won’t let me indent my bullets so idk how to fix that so big rip)

so we have lan & sons books, a company that prides itself on providing cheap books for everyone to read. think less evil corporation and more we wanted to provide easily accessible books for all people and ended up getting really rich off it

mr lan dadman was meant to be in charge but he ran off and lqr stepped up until lxc was old enough to take over and now lqr just kinda assists lxc when he needs help and does some other work

lqr is definitely the old guy who had a letter thing with this one woman who was enchanting but instead he was chatting to cssr and she was shameless 

anyway lwj works as *random high up job that joe fox has* and his best work friend (and real friend) is jin zixuan

jin zixuan is the heir to some coffee franchise and the two families have a deal which is why you have the cafe inside the bookstores

we gonna give lwj some friends

as for wwx, his mother owned a bookstore, the burial mounds (why did she name it that?? idk she probably told bssr that she wanted to call it that as a joke and bssr tried to call her bluff so she ended up having to call it that a la suibian)

anyway he grew up with his mother and grandmother and they left the store to him (idk what happened to them?? maybe they just retired and are now travelling the world while wwx gets to have the bookstore)

now for the actual plot!!

lwj and wwx met on omegle an instant messaging site and now exchange emails. wwx goes by yiling patriarch and lwj goes by hanguang-jun bc we want that flavour

so they’ve been emailing for years and they never share any personal information - wwx knows that hgj has a pet rabbit but not hgj’s name or his job

as for the significant others?? idk let’s pretend they don’t exist. 

wwx’s best friend nhs, who writes a column for so-and-so, always just comes over to his place and now he’s semi moved in and wwx isnt really sure why he’s here but he is. 

lwj just vibes bc i can’t see him putting up with a patricia unless his uncle  forced him to. even then he’d probably just be ~mysteriously~ gone while she’s home

maybe he has a really annoying pa who thinks its his job to come over and like make him breakfast. it’s su she,, it has to be

so wwx goes into work one morning and wen ning is waiting outside as he always is, ready for him to open and then like ten minutes later wen qing comes in and lastly granny wen comes in

why do they work together?? idk?? granny wen and bssr were close and so the wens and wwx kinda grew up as siblings? yeah i like that let’s go with that

so when cssr decided to go travelling wwx gets left with her store and he kinda knows how to run it but also he doesn’t have enough staff so he ends up hiring the wens (except granny who’s mostly there just to hang out with her family)

bonus: a-yuan always come to the shop after school and wwx gets to recreate the childhood he had with his mother with a-yuan. when the store closes wwx and a-yuan just twirl and twirl until they get too dizzy to stand up and then they lay on the floor and discuss their favourite book they’ve read this week. it’s very sweet

okay so the next day lwj gets to babysit his cousin/uncle/nephew/idk-how-they’re-related-person lan jingyi who is like eight or something?

they go out and hang at a festival and lwj does not buy him a goldfish bc i was very stressed by the way they treated the goldfish in the movie but he does get him balloons and a stuffed toy and plays all the games with him

eventually they’re walking back and see that the small bookstore near the new lan bookstore is hosting a story time so they go inside 

lwj walks in and he’s immediately taken by the atmosphere of the store bc that place was absolutely beautiful and then he hears this voice and follows it around to the back of the store to see the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen in his life sitting on a kinda too small chair with a princess hat? cone? thing on top of his head

he’d planned to stay for like one story and then take jingyi home but he ends up staying for the entire book and it’s definitely not because the guy reading the book smiled at him once or twice

after the story time ends, lwj is reluctant to leave so he ends up letting jingyi pick a bunch of books and looks at a few fancy first edition books with wen qing

and maybe his mother used to love collecting books - the old ones with the yellowed pages and beautiful pictures - and that’s why lwj helps out with his family business,, bc he wants everyone to be able to have books like that (never mind that all their books are like mass produced and lack any sentimentality & the staff dont actually care about the books)

anyway he sees wwx help jingyi pick out books and lets him borrow his handkerchief when he sneezes and lwj’s like oh nooo he’s good with kids too so now he has to talk to him 

so he goes up to buy the books and wwx’s telling jingyi about how much he likes daisies and lwj just blurts out “can i ask what your name is?” and wwx blinks but then smiles and is like i’m wei wuxian, but you can call me wei ying, and i own this store. what about you? and lwj is like wangji, you can call me wangji

wen qing takes one look at lwj and the way he’s staring at wwx and goes you’re going to come back aren’t you and lwj is trying so hard not to just run away so he just ignores her but then she mentions something about lan books and he’s Panicking and jingyi almost says that he’s a lan and lwj just kinda guides him over to a table and then goes back to flirt talk with wwx

anyway wwx ends up going on this big tangent about books and what they mean to people and the whole when you read a book as a child it becomes a part of your identity and who you’re going to become the way nothing else does (and lwj remembers his mother and her books) and then he apologises for going on and lwj is mentally going marry me, but he ends up calling wwx and his mother shameless

but it’s okay!! wwx & cssr are proud of it!

and then yada yada lwj buys the kinda expensive books and ends up awkwardly shepherding jingyi out of the store 

cut to the next day when the lan book store opens properly and lwj ends up telling lqr about how he met wwx and lqr is like >:/ the son of that shameless woman,, how terrible,, it’s okay he won’t be a problem for long bc they’ll be driven out of business. which isn’t the response lwj wanted but lxc seems supportive enough if a bit concerned about how it would work with them as business enemies 

business is already bad for wwx and it’s barely been a week since the lan store opened and he’s pretty bummed out but hopeful that maybe it’s a fluke

then nhs invites him to some fancy dinner with him bc wei-xiong they’re all so boring and smart and have opinions, please don’t make me have opinions so wwx gets dragged along

he ends up talking to lwj at the bar bc how could he not talk to the man who’s standing in front of all that fancy alcohol and getting some fruit juice. (he’d get water but lwj has had to put up with su she all evening so he needs something stronger)

anyway they chat and it’s pleasant but then after wwx gets approached by someone who’s like wow im surprised you’re talking to lan wangji and wwx is like lan?!

cue their passive aggressive argument around the food table complete with caviar and a turkey knife. 

now bc it’s lan wangji,, instead of making scathing comebacks he just makes like factual and to-the-point statements that end up being really bitchy (or does he intend them to be that way? it’s a mix of both of them tbh but in this case he’s definitely being bitchy on purpose) and wwx is spluttering bc that boy does not stand up well against hot and mad people

nhs ends up coming over and defusing the situation but wwx makes a point of stealing the rest of the caviar off lwj’s plate before leaving 

lwj ends up ducking out early as well to avoid su she and emails wwx that night at like 9:45 bc the guilt of being so rude kept him up late and yllz is like oh no that’s so sad ): but impressive! i wish i could zing people,, my brain just turns off the second i need to make a comeback

creative liberties,, wwx is good at teasing but not being genuinely mean? lets go with that

anyway now we get the delightful montage of wwx hiding behind cheese displays and lwj walking out of coffee stores with a newspaper covering his face as they try to avoid each other

when wwx gets in the wrong line at the supermarket lwj comes over and kinda glares the checkout woman into submission and gets her to let wwx use his card which wwx is really conflicted about bc why would he help me?? and once again angry lwj = hot lwj

a few weeks later wwx ends up asking hgj for help bc business isn’t getting any better but refuses to give any details and i refuse to have lwj watch the godfather so lwj just straight up messages him and is like tear that bitch apart

and so wwx decides to tear that bitch apart and asks nhs for help. nhs, fan of the arts and small businesses and local culture, is 100% down for it and writes a scathing article about lan books and how they’re destroying all the aforementioned things nhs cares about

it ends up getting a lot of traction and people show up to protest and wwx even goes on television

lwj ends up seeing the news coverage on the matter while he’s at the gym with jzx

jzx is 100% the guy who goes to the gym just to apathetically walk on the treadmill while lwj jogs

he sees the interview with wwx and lwj is like he’s not this nice in real life and jzx is like you met him?? and lwj is like mn. then jzx is like i bet he’s not as hot and lwj is completely silent but his ears are bright red and that’s how jzx knows that wwx is just that hot

also?? lwj goes on tv and says like three words and he’s kinda annoyed how the news decided to spin that but he also said like three words so what did he expect?

but, despite all the publicity, sales don’t get any better so wwx is like fine can we meet in person and lwj is like sure

he brings jzx along bc he doesn’t know the way there, it’s not because he’s nervous and kind of in love with yllz, it’s because he doesn’t know how to get to the cafe. (it’s two blocks from his apartment)

anyway jzx is like oof man it’s seems like yllz is wwx but he is that hot so not all is lost and lwj is like yikes no not happening im not going in but he also feels bad about standing wwx up so he ends up going in and sitting down in front of wwx

and lwj is like wei wuxian, all this publicity will do nothing to save your business and wwx is like lan wangji who do you think you are (or however that scene goes) but instead of lwj being asked to leave wwx decides he’s not gonna chicken out first so they end up spending like two hours having the most aggressive cup of coffee and chat he’s ever had

lwj is exhausted but he also refuses to give up

but then wwx spits something about how lwj is some cold, heartless suit who doesn’t actually care about or appreciate books so how can he possibly dare to think that he’s better than wwx and that hurts bc lwj had thought that he’d been doing exactly that so he leaves

anyway the next morning wwx is moping around the bookstore bc he didn’t get stood up, he swears. am i not cute enough he moans to wen qing and she’s like your hgj doesn’t know what you look like. but what about my personality? is that cute enough? and wen qing eventually manages to grit out that yes it is cute enough

wen ning comes in and is like are you okay? you got stood up? that’s good! your date might have been the rooftop killer xue yang! he got caught last night! and wwx is like i wish, i just got stood up like a chump

so they ignore each other for a few weeks bc wwx is very hurt and lwj doesn’t know what he’s going to say but wwx ends up caving and emails hgj about how guilty he feels and how even though wwx probably means nothing to lwj, he’s worried that maybe he did hurt lwj and also please hgj i still want to talk to you

now hgj never says a lot, he’s always really succinct and direct but this time he takes the time to write a proper apology. it’s not an explanation bc he doesn’t want to give this up, even if the yllz he thinks he loves is the wwx that he hates, but it is an apology

the next day wwx goes to lunch with granny wen and finally dares to ask her whether it would be okay to shut the store down. he doesn’t want, of course he doesn’t want to, but he doesn’t think he can afford to keep it open. granny just tells him that it’s okay and that if the time has come, the time has come

we don’t have to worry about wwx breaking up with anyone, so he just goes home and asks nhs if he can have some space and nhs quickly packs his stuff and goes home. as he stands in the doorway with his last box of stuff he tells wwx that he’s sorry and wishes he could help more and wwx sends him this tremulous smile but manages to hold it together until nhs leaves and then he cries and cries 

the next day he goes back to work and tries to stay bubbly and cheery even as he sees all of his shelves slowly being emptied and people who haven’t stepped foot in his store in six months are telling him what a shame it is and how they wish it didnt have to come to this and wwx is internally screaming

he manages to stave off any actual screaming but when he closes up that day he ends up going to the children’s section of lan bookstore and just as he had thought, none of the staff care about the books, none of them know any books and he ends up recommending a series to some young mother

lwj, who’d spotted wwx and come over to see if whether he was here to pick a fight, comes to the awful realisation that maybe wwx is right about his store lacking heart

he goes home that night and su she tags along even though lwj just wants space and the elevator breaks. he’s sitting there on the ground listening to his neighbour talk about reconnecting with family and the elevator button pressing dude talks about getting engaged and su she is just there whining about his job and the inconvenience and lwj goes fuck this. when the elevator starts working again he grabs his rabbit and goes back down to the ground floor, ignores su she’s shouts, and goes back to his childhood home

wwx gets stuck closing his store down. he looks around at the shelves and tables he’d grown up with and sees his childhood and a-yuan’s and countless moments he’s had with people he’s loved and realises he’s going to lose it all forever. he grabs the bell, the last thing he has left of the store and closes up for the very last time

in the meantime, lwj is living the high life. he hangs out with his bunny, gets to read pride and prejudice for fun and actually manages to get all the way through it and then his brother comes to visit

apparently he’d broken up with jgy bc he was gold digger-esque and had decided to run off with someone richer and lwj is like oh thats so sad ): anyway nmj is right there and he fills your heart with joy and lxc is like have you ever had someone like that? and lwj immediately thinks of wwx and is like fuck

his first order of business is to buy wwx’s shop bc it broke my heart that she didn’t get it back in the og movie and he starts filling it with books again. he buys ten copies of his mother’s favourite books and places them on the shelf by the door and then he sees a book that reminds him of jingyi so gets some of them and he sees a book covered in daisies and thinks of wwx. and slowly, slowly he’s building up his own library, his own store, and this time every single book means something and for once lwj looks out across the floor with pride and satisfaction

his second order of business is to apologise to wwx for being a dick. he buys some daisies and goes to his place and comes in and cooks soup for wwx. lwj apologises and tells him it wasn’t personal and wwx is like that’s not true, it was personal to me and it’s personal to a lot of people and lwj understands that now. he remembers the way he’d filled wwx’s store and left his own touch and bared his heart through each of those books and he understands. he doesn’t actually say this and just tells wwx that he wants to be friends 

lwj considers coming clean about being hgj but he knows now that he definitely loves wwx and knows that wwx currently hates him but damn is it hard not to say anything when wwx is telling him how much he loves hgj

anyway he’s like organise a meeting again with hgj 

i’d say it’s ooc for lwj not to come clean but this is the man who pined for x decades and just didnt tell wwx that his son was alive so like not ooc at all

so lwj decides he’s going to woo wwx as best as he can and organises to meet up with yllz and then goes and meets with wwx and they end up going to hang out and for some strange reason, even though wwx keeps getting stood up, he doesn’t seem to care too much. he keeps agreeing to meet hgj and when he doesn’t show is more than happy to spend the rest of his day with lwj

and slowly, they start to get closer. wwx takes a sip of lwj’s coffee and lwj buys him daisies. wwx brings him an interesting book and lwj tells him about his mother. they chat freely about hgj and lwj is happy for the first time in a long time

eventually lwj organises the final meeting. wwx is really confused about the place he picked but he’s hopeful that maybe this time hgj will show. after wwx and lwj’s farmers market date ends, lwj ends up asking wwx if he could love lwj and wwx is like you put me in such an uncomfortable situation. ie stammering and blushing and eventually going oh no ill be late and running off

anyway a couple hours later wwx finds himself standing outside his old bookstore and he refuses to look at it bc he doesn’t want to see what it’s become but then, through the open door of the store, a bunny hops out and over to wwx

lwj comes running out after it calling out its name (bichen?? flopsy?? rabbit?? one of them) and wwx looks up and is like oh,, it’s you, i’d hoped it was you and he’s all teary and lwj has a handkerchief that he’d embroidered himself (with gentians of course) and he’s like dont cry yllz and then they kiss and it’s beautiful

bonus: lwj takes wwx inside the store and shows him everything and explains the meaning behind every book that they’ve picked and then wwx does cry for real bc there is definitely an entire two walls dedicated just to wwx

do they open the store as a bookstore again and work together? does wwx end up writing books?? idk up to you. i like the idea that they open the store for story time and sell children’s books but lwj still works with lan & sons to get some heart in their stores and wwx works on his own books in his spare time

[gooferdusted]

hypothetically, if I were to write a fix-it/rewrite au fic, (thinking of starting at s5 but debating starting earlier) what are some storylines you’d take out/change, characters you’d save/kill, and specifically changes to sam’s character/arcs you’d like bc i need ideas

ok. ok. I'm gonna try to not go completely off the fucking rails while I write this up but I gotchu (also these r all just my own hot n spicy takes so like. pick what u like, it's all goodie goodie)

• no time passing differently in hell. literally four months is ~Enough!~ a year is enougghh!!!!!! like I get that they wanted to make hell this horrible unreachable thing but u can still like... get that across without having it be this unfathomable chunk of time out of a persons life. like sam was down there with TWO very pissed off angel's for 180 years??? how can he still speak english??? how does dean remember ANYTHING about his old life when mentally more than half of it was spent being endlessly tortured until he finally cracked??? its just.... Too Much...

• ON that note, I feel like later on they never rlly had sam and dean bond over the fact that like... they are genuinely the ONLY two people on earth who have survived actual hell. I mean we got that one off line from dean at some point but??

• no chuck as god. just a greasy greasy rat man getting insane stories projected into his brain. and on the topic of that.... I dont like the reflection of the real life fanbase in the spn universe??? they're pulp fiction novels, it should be all like 50 year old + ladies who picked them up at the local bargain bin, not b*cky r*sen

• I like... WANNA say smth abt s4..... bc I think the way that they handled things were a little out of character BUT I also think that was lind of the point??? like the angels and demons were manipulating them to say/do things they would normally never say/do to eachother to drive a big enough wedge between then that they would eventually say yes to being the vessels. like it hurts to watch sooo much but it did drive the plot forward in a very particular way that probably couldnt have happened otherwise. that being said, when the levee breaks makes me sad, and I dont want to see sam crying for his dead mother alone in a basement! cest la vie.

• sam and dean.... are Friends...,, why did we all forget that..... watch hell house and maybe I'll calm down.....

• PSYCHIC SAM!!!!!! you all know me. you know how I feel about psychic sam... robbed. s4 finale rlly had sam like "drinking that much demon blood has truly changed me forever..... theres no going back now...... 😔😔" like ok. ok. where are your superpowers. where are they.

• I wish some of the other special children had made it out :(( I really liked andy and ava (also sam finding other friend who are like him??? queer allegory??? spare queer allegory?????)

• I also dont think the roadhouse shouldve burned down!!! that shouldve been a Staple Location like Bobby's house. same w Missouri's, literally why did we only visit her once.

• ur sending an ask to my blog so I assume this is just a given for u but!!! we're takin away the misogyny. we're takin away the fetishization! anything that would be given the greenlight by joss whedon we are putting straight in the trash. <3

• this is mostly a thing in later seasons like. idk 9-15, but no ppl knowing who the winchesters are. they are NOBODIES. they pop up like little meerkats and fuck everything up beyond repair.

• also no fancy tech. no iphone 76z or whatever the fuck. sam has an ipod 1. the wheel is so stuck he can barely press play anymore. remember when he literally just tore off the top casing off his laptop and threw it away? more of that.

• no nice clothes. NO nice clothes we fuckin hate that. everything sam and dean own was purchased pre 1995 and dean is an expert at removing blood stains and sewing up jackets. dean will walk into a laundromat with a tide pen and just start goin for it like that scene in deadpool.

• tbh.... I feel like the issues in later seasons are really this massive horrible domino effect. like I could say heres how to fix s7-10 but the fact is if shit hadnt gone down lile it had in s7 s10 would be a different story entirely.

• I am gonna do it tho bc I suck <3

• s6: soulless sam was funney but did that really go anywhere? no. tbh I dont remember what happened w cas and I'm just not going to look it up. it's just not in the cards for tonight. dean w lisa.... ehh.... I've discussed this at wayy too much length w mushroom and we both agreed that dean would probably keep hunting to keep his mind off things and to try and honor sams sacrifice. I guess theres an argument to be made for the fact that it kind of was Sam's dying wish that dean just go fin her and live a normal life but... idk. purgatory was. . indeed a Concept..... that could have maybe gone somewhere if it didnt rapidly spiral into....

• s7!!! I mean. jesus christ. I know some people like this one but jesus christ. the way they literally couldnt commit to having sam have genuine mental health problems after centuries in hell or to just magically wipe them away..... bobby dying halfway thru.... charlie was a bright spot I suppose, but her intro is not my fave episode w her.... idk what the fuck happened w cas, I guess he was god. the leviathan designs were kinda neat but like oh my fucking god it wasnt worth it.

• s8: uh. rough start. idk why the turn tables so suddenly and dean's like "why didnt u look for me >:((" bc??? yall agreed not to???? at the VERY least they couldve had sam been like "I legitimately had no reason to think u werent dead and in heaven and tha wouldve been a little rude of me to pull u out of that." but we went for ~drama~ to make it spicy I guess. ouygh. bunkers there!!! that was cool!!! MoL is a cool concept!!! altho... it doesn kinda contradict the whole sam and dean are nobodies thing... idk. trials of hell was like... cool in theory but bad in practice unless they were planning on ending the show for realskies. and they did not.

• s9: uhh... hated gadreel! hated that shit! wish they had spun that whole storyline to be more "hey sam I noticed u were s*icidal should we maybe address that??" or even like.... I mean dean probably couldve just TOLD sam abt his plan, he had already convinced him to stay alive by that point??? there was no reason to lie!!! plus the betrayal of gadreel not being who he said he was wouldve been like. literally enough drama, we didnt need to fracture the team again. and cas was??? where exactly??? be was human for at least half of that season but hey didnt know what to do w him so they chucked him in a convenience store??? good lord.

• s10: got no suggestions for that one, just toss it

• s11: ok... shes cute.... we can forgive her.... the lore is shaky at best but the episodes SLAP and the characterization is *chefs kiss*. it's been a hot minute since I've seen it so if smth sucked I dont remember and I plan to keep it that way!!!!

• s12: n.. no. no mary. no mary unless we're doing it right. and I promise u doing it right was not poorly ripping off kingsman. couldve brought back bobby!!! if they desperately wanted some drama couldve brought back john!!! actually fuck that, no way

• s13-15: no thoughts, only jack kline <3

[jeffhane]

dynasty live watching: an incoherent post so that i’m not spoiling people on the twitter tl (i doubt any of this will be chronological or coherent enough to actually contain spoilers but better safe than sorry!)

oh my god the “previously on” - i forgot abt fallon and evan....

Theyre at a FUNERAL??? this was actually predicted but oh my god. if its steven i am going to be so mad. what an unfitting end to the- WAIT WHAT SIX MONTHS? what was that font;;;;:; whes sueiwjwk

copper arch🥵🥵🥵

this is cute. this is cute i like faloon pretty women so true

BYE I FORGOT ABT THIS VASE

fallon is genuinely such a bad person this is so bizarre,,,, i think she needs to calm down about oiterally everything ever

“This wedding is our chance to break the cycle of craziness” babe ur literally the one making the cycle of craziness

w. was that an ikmenn of liam getting his head off

JEFF MY BELOVED HE LOOKS STUNNING IN THAT OUTFIT. WHYS ALEXIS HERW “POWER COUPLE” YOU WERID MANIPULATIVE PERSON GET AWAY FROM HIM LOL

alexis is up to no good. bad bad jpeg. why do they write her dialogue like this

adam is acted so well lmao he’s the most unhinged person to ever exist *screams*

ohhh dominique, i don’t remember much abt her 😭😭😭 this woman she’s with is beautiful

ITS LAGGING????? i cannot Believe tjis

~rebrand~ ok girlboss!!!!!!!!! can we ship this businesswoman i dont recall her name with fallon???? id like that i think

too many plotlines have happened in too many minutes, i’m already forgettint things that have happened... isn’t blake supposed to be in prisoj? no? Ok: sure

adam is constantly doing this expression that is like 👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁 HI SAM HI SAM HI SAM BEAUTIFUL MAN I LOVE HIM WHOS THIS MAN

raf is so stunning ughhhh i’m loving the costumes this season, everyone looks great! is this man a sam love interest? nervous? that is kinda cute. i miss stevej though. sadness. so many emotions

UHHHH hi alexis sure ig ur here

~OMENS~ babe that’s a tad dramatic don’t you think?????????? “Ignore the lore at your own peril” alright

WHOS THAT? WHOS THAT? OH HER OK

bye everything is going wrong for this......:..:::... *rubs hands together evilly* that will certainly be entertaining

credit scene!!! such a beautiful cast! where’s anders, oh how i miss him... i miss monica too wasn’t she supposed to be BACK🤔🤔🤔🧐🧐🤨🤨

its a commercial break... havent had to watch the show with these for so long😑😑😑. getting american ads is so funny bc the vast majority of them are Not at all relevant... at all

BACK TO DYNASTY!!!!!! was that a slinky? huh? oh ok that’s why the marriage is happening at the manor. #whenyouonlyhaveoneset oh hi ok monica so shes not going to be here?????😑😔😳

WHY IS SHE GETTING A CAR I FEEL LIKE THATS FORESHAWDOIWIJG FOR UMMMMM.... NOT GOOD THINGS ..... ITS LAGGING AGAIN 🤨

blake having dinner... ok hi cristal,,,,; is the priest subplot back? that was a weird one

adam???? how on earth does adam work his way into everything? NEXT GUEST? HUH? are you cheating on your wife? HI CULHANE! HI!

“straight people are exhausting” i mean yes, objectively, absolutely, but culhane is #notstraight .... idk how i feel about sam and this man. also what? huh? staying here? ok cool ig

OHHHHH he got married i see i see

“Haven’t you milked the carrington cow already” but....... she is literally the person who deserves the stuff..... k......... i don’t like dominique but she was given the short end of the stick also blake stop manipulating people just bc they tell u the truth😶😶😶😶😶😶😶

frustrated that we haven’t seen fallon in any non-wedding related stuff yet i always liked her more ~dramatic~ plots . like she’s a sweetheart but i do want her to evolve beyond thsi. idk if that makes sense. ok bye

“A relative’s happy marriage” uh???? we live in a society😔📈

who is father lynch<3333 oh he is in the hospital that’s not great oh adam upset that’s new /s

y is kirby dressed like an elf. god bless.

ughhhh i just think adam is not good for kirby. he’s not good in general. so true . what is he up to. ads again hhhhhhhhhh💯

omg we are back!!!!! blake wear the suit!! hi liz!!! i’ve seen pictures of this outfit, it looks nice. “I really want things to work out with liam” now that would be great but you’re in a soap opera so the chances of that are .... I DONT EVEN ONOW IF U CAN WEATHER ANYTHING W CRISTAL...)))))!$$ NOT NECESSARILY THE BEET CHOICE????

~technically it wasn’t cancelled~ alright love i feel as though you’re not telling the full truth here. ok his name is ryan . we know that now . cool . this relationship is awkward but it could be sweet

what the Fuck is dominique talking about this is so creepy😭😭😭 please do not market lingerie to ur niece 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 why does no one in this show know how to be polite

“You want me to stake my personal assets” i’m sure this would be meaningful if i knew anything about finance????? WAIT WAIT WIAT WAIT WAIT DHE REHEARING THE SAM DONS G THE SONG ALEXIS DONT INTERRUPT HER SINGING THE SONG🧐😔😔😔🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🥰🥰🤬😤😤😤😤😤😤

~duplicitous sham~ that’s quite a juicy phrase ms fallon. alexis i dislike your marriage. and you in fact. yes x . “We were just like any other newlyweds” except the newlywed factor........:

anders. oh my god i adore him so much. he reminds me of my grandfather . YES adam is dangerous. anders i love you so much. be my grandfather figure. top 10 cool old dudes of all time.

liz is so beautiful how am i suppised to “Focus” on the “storyline” kirby just went 🥰🥰 also hi culhane ily babe

“My father’s convinced adam is pure evil” you see, that is......... trueeeee...........:.::: im sorry culhane ily love

this dialogue unfortunately does not flow all that well LOL . people dont think up things like this on the fly “my love is like that boutineer” sir i guarantee that metaphors r not going to save ur relationship... HI sam. so true. hi ily. samhane? culsam? 😳😳

DONT STEAL ANDERS SPOT OH HI JEFF YOU LOOK STUNNING.......... BEAUTIFUL BOY ....... HI!!!! ~you are the only family you’ve ever needed~ shit none of this wouldve happened if the Carringtons werent so greedy ij the first place

~true love has many faces~ how many anti liam omens can they sneak in into the episode 😭😭😭😭 hi laura whats up

the poor waiters at this establishment...... why does laura look like a rlly young version of my grandma........: huh.... wont think abt it /... alexis bad mom.jpeg

“I don’t want to miss my sons special day” ok bye i don’t #care she’s kind of rude

fallon trying to avoid future drama is confusing to me as that used to be her ENTIRE THING? HUH??? everyones talking to their moms today what the heck do that many people talk to their moms???

jeff hiiiii <333 that maroon suit!!!!! love!!!!!

Dont hurt anders you strange little evil man!!!!!!!!!!! (Adam, for reference)

fallon likes to ~e n u n c i a t e~ her dialogue. Drama Teachers Love Her

FIRBY SCENE! WELL THEY R TALKINF! UWU ! UWU ! smiles:) smiiiiiles:) the height difference i cannot do this😑😊😊😊🕯🕯🕯 BYE

BueirHWIIDWJDIWIFJWIFJWJJFWJFJWJDJWJDJWIFJWJFJWJDKWJDJWDJJWHDWHDHWHEHWHDHWJDJWJRJWJEJWJDJQUEUWJEJWJEJW CRIES SOBS SCREAMS THIS OS SO FUCKING FUNNY

Kirby you dumbass😭😭😭😭😭 ALEXIS WUDIWNDJW JEFF CAN YOU NOT HEF FCANKREMTIWN WHY IS THIS DIALOGUE IM SCREAMIGNRJFJD

kirby babe you are the kist imorjri WHQT? HUH? when all the characters have the maturity of a 13 yr old <33333 DID THE SHOW JUST END?????? OK.... DAMN.... they were really 2 minutes away from the end and remembered that things are supposed to happen in tv show episodes.... i cannot tell whether it os over actually?????? huh??? going to keep watching because it would be so embarrassing if i missed a few minutes oh yeah theres more

IM SORRY WHYBARE THESE PEOPLE SO STUPID. every single one of them. ih my god l. ohhhh my god . “I never meant to hurt you” you cheated on him. both of them are bad people. 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 kirby darling what were you thinking . this dress on kirby is STUNNING ugh, she’s so charming . adam Shut the fuck up. He hasn’t said anything but shut the fuck up. OH MY GOD ADAM SHUT THE FUCK UP. OH MY GOD I HATE ADAM SO MUXH. OH MY GOD HOW IS HE THE WORST PERSON TO EVER LIVE 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶 HES SO EVIL

“I didn’t want to tell you because i didnt want you to think of me as a monster” why did you do that stuff then bro . Kirby you SHOULDNT trust someone after they say that? How naive? Huh ?

omg hello jeffs grandma!!!!! she deserves better than every shitshow in this family... god🤨 dominique being a good person? i like to see that. she seems so genuine. ok this is nice . wait... SAFE? 😳😳😳😳 💴 💵 #money i miss monica

why do they never have sufficient lifhting in WAIT..... HER?????? #dumbofass HI JEFF <33333333 HI you can scam and whatever ur allowed to i support u

ooohhhh GORGEOUS fallon outfit

“Such a fail” IS THIS 2012 . CRINE HEIDJWJFIWNDWJDNWKFJW ENJDJSDJWJNDJWJD they keep saying folklore and im thinking its some sort of reference to the album and i get confused. wheres scheming fallon. need scheming fallon. do a scheme. do it

“We are that lucky couple” press x to doubt .... wait who is this🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 this seems cincerning im cocnentwd why did it zoom in on this random man

[mieczyhale]

i mean klaus got choked by Luther and thrown and just all round disrespected, BUT he was awful to Luther (who has little to NO social skills) after finding him with the girl. I think what people most zero on this scene is Klaus saying he doesn’t remember his first time bc he was high/drunk, while ignoring Luther who also doesn’t/barely remembers HIS first time bc he was high/drunk. I actually really LOVE this scene in terms of character development (1/2)

this scene and the ‘I want to be u’ scene too, bc it shows how awful their relationship is and how reginald trained them to compete with each other and put each other down, to ‘win’ so to speak, and how the way they were treated and how they treated each other manifests in this bitterness and mockery. specially Klaus who must feel angry no one takes his struggles seriously. bc in healthy siblings dynamics they don’t treat each other that way. but..... yeah it’s awful and sad 😔 (2/2) i’d like to thank you, anon, for sending asks on this topic that have some good points and aren’t dickish. it is greatly appreciated and you are an angel <3 i’m going to try and respond and explain my feelings on this the best i can but.. no promises on quality lmfao it’s almost 3AM and i’m three (3) drinks in so IMMA DO MY BEST

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  [[just a heads up also that i am NOT re-reading this before posting. i do not have the energy for that so it’s just gonna be what it’s gonna be]] Luther (who has little to NO social skills) - I think what people most zero on this scene is Klaus saying he doesn’t remember his first time bc he was high/drunk, while ignoring Luther who also doesn’t/barely remembers HIS first time bc he was high/drunk. the thing is, and this seems to depend entirely on the perspective and personal experiences of the person watching, klaus wasn’t awful to luther. he wasn’t mocking. he was doing what siblings do - they tease. as for ignoring luther who doesn’t really remember his first time for the same reasons klaus doesn’t remember his: i dont think it was ignoring so much as it was klaus wouldn’t consider it a big deal - it wouldn’t occur to him to think of it that way - because it wasn’t for him. and even when you know that your sibling doesn’t have much for social skills, it’s probably not something that’s going to stay at the forefront of your mind and direct every interaction you have with them - especially in regards to a sibling you haven’t seen in 13 years - so it would make sense for klaus to not interact with luther in more of a way people would find acceptable. perfect sibling interactions dont happen i mean klaus got choked by Luther and thrown and just all round disrespected, BUT there is no but there - some teasing (or mocking, depending on how you see it) is nowhere near the same thing as choking someone, throwing them across a room, AND consistently being genuinely rude and disrespectful. i’m not saying klaus can’t be mean or a jackass - he absolutely can - but to say he was awful or horrible to luther ESPECIALLY post!rave is bananas.  klaus tried to cheer luther up, offered to try summoning reginald even though that’s the last thing he’s ever want to do, tried to stop luther from drinking more, tried to convince luther that drugs and alcohol weren’t the way to go, tried to stop luther from venturing out on his own, went after him when he didn’t listen - and yeah, he wanted to stop part way in because of withdrawals, but he didn’t. and it’s not just because ben tried to guilt him - ben does not control the klaus. if klaus didn’t want to keep looking for luther he wouldn’t have. so he finds him. he goes into the worst possible place for someone who is trying to get sober because his inexperienced brother is there, he tries to get luther to leave with him and while he’s struggling so horribly the whole time - because of the immediate access to drugs and the ptsd episode - he tried to protect luther and gets killed for it.  and then never brings any of this up to luther after the dude is sober. he could have - he could have been petty and cruel about it, because if luther knew i dont doubt he would feel horrible and it would weigh on him so much, both as a brother and as the leader, but klaus never did. and maybe that was because he didnt think anyone would believe him but i think part of it was not wanting to hurt luther because he knows what drugs and alcohol do to a person - he knows very fucking well - he knows the lack of control and awareness and he isnt going to hold it against luther the way we all know everyone holds everything against klaus - the things he did while mentally on another planet. AT MOST klaus teases him when he goes to wake luther up for a family meeting - in a manner that comes off silly but not - imo - cruel. simply ridiculous, as klaus often is. but he pours luther a cup of coffee and they talk about his conversation with their dad and that’s that their only other interactions after that are when klaus, diego, and five go to the bar to get luther - and that isnt even an interaction because they dont talk. and then in the car on the way to leonard’s cabin.. where they dont talk. and then at the cabin klaus has his hand on luther’s shoulder, providing a small act of comfort while also devastated because literally everyone knows luther and allison. they’re in the infirmary when allison needs blood but again - they dont talk. and then in the scene where vanya is bringing down the academy - brief, and they dont talk. and then it’s the bowling alley - where klaus tries to be honest with everyone, expresses a quiet offer of help that nobody takes seriously, and then okay yes - he snaps back at luther when luther is a dick to him. but its nothing actually cruel and he immediately tries to backtrack. after that moment the only time they talk is when luther is asking klaus if ben is in agreement on time traveling at the end of episode 10 so where in there was klaus cruel and awful and horrible?? i mean i guess those things can depend, again, on a person’s perspective and experiences - and maybe people have different takes on what those words mean (and the extent they cover) and yknow what?? gotta say - that’s valid. nobody can control how someone else takes in the show - we cant even control how we take it in ourselves. but for me this specific line of takes is absolutely noodles. do i think klaus was flawless? fuck no. i wouldnt love him so much if he was. but i dont think any of his interactions with luther can be considered horrible on his end. i dont see this awful person in those moments that apparently other people do Klaus who must feel angry no one takes his struggles seriously. this though. t h i s t h o u g h. i’m not gonna get super into it because this response is already kind of a lot BUT yes. whether klaus knows it or not, acknowledges it or not, he probably is so angry and hurt that nobody takes his struggles seriously. nobody ever has - i mean ben has followed him around for the last 13 years, has seen some of what he’s been through and has learned about the rest, and he STILL digs into klaus and acts like he doesn’t have a reason to be the way he is. if not even ben can take his trauma seriously, and he - at least pre!death - seemed to be the kindest, then how would anyone else?? they wouldn’t and It Shows. and, of course, that includes luther - who i agree, was in a way separated from the others - not physically but like.. ranking and power wise, by reginald and his constant push of luther being number one and that meaning Everything. and klaus - well we all know what reginald thought of klaus and i dont doubt he filled luther’s head with his opinions which luther would internalize as Facts - because reginald had a hold on luther that he didn’t quite have on any of the others. (i mean he totally had a hold on all of them, they’re all fucked up, but luther stayed there because reginald had him so convinced of the academy’s mission and luther’s importance to him) SO. if klaus WERE to verbally be aggressive with luther or anyone i personally would understand - why should he take other people’s trauma seriously, expend the heart and energy to care and to do what he can to cheer them up, when they can’t even take a moment to listen to him - or see what’s right in front of their eyes. i’d be fucking pissed. tbh i think klaus handles things pretty fucking well from the funeral on considering the Everyfuckingthing.  he’s sassy - yeah. he can be jackass and he has the potential to be cruel - hell yeah. but he expresses more care for each of his siblings in s1 than any of them do for him (except maybe diego) and idk, man, i have seen the first season somewhere beyond 15 times (i stopped counting) and i’ve never taken any of klaus’s words or actions towards luther to be genuinely cruel or horrible. it just doesnt read that way for me and i honestly struggle to see how people CAN see it that way.. so here i am. annoyed. but on my own tumblr bc i have no desire to @, fight, or argue with anyone over opinions but sometimes a little bastard just has to vent yknow?? yknow.

[thicccqueyoongimin]

yoonseok fluff and stuff

forever 21 | chapter 1 

pairing: yoongi x hoseok

word count: 1.6k

genre: fluffy fluff (rated PG)

warnings: kissing, mentions of sexuality, mild language but not really

Min Yoongi sighed as he leaned over the checkout counter at Forever 21. He really really hated his job. But if it payed the bills, so be it.. He was going to college for music production, and things were going alright. Life wasn't so bad, apart from his job. But he still felt like something was... Missing

He peered over at the clock. 11:02 am. Only 3-ish hours into his shift and he already wanted to die. That's a record. Usually it takes 4 hours or something like that. Soon co-workers and customers made the empty store seem a bit more lively. Lost in thought, Yoongi didn't even hear the footsteps of cheap stilettos clacking up to him. Only when his boss slammed her perfectly manicured hand on the counter, did Yoongi jump up and leave his depressing thoughts behind. He spoke.

"I'm sorry ma'am, I was just -"

" Thinking, like you ALWAYS ARE. " his boss interrupted. " I might as well just fire you now, but I need you, so unfortunately.. That's not an option. "

She steps to the side, revealing a man, with perfect golden tan skin and cherry red hair.

"This is Jung Hoseok." She says.

Yoongi's P.O.V

Jung Hoseok? He's so handsome.

"Stop being weird, Yoongi. He probably doesn't swing that way" I think to myself.

"You'll be showing this young man around, he's a new employee. Show him how to restock the clothes shelves, handle the cash register, and everything else from the handbook." My boss says and Throws the book of rules at me. Ugh, she's so RUDE. She turns around and walks off, leaving Hoseok and I alone.

"Um, hey I'm Hoseo- oh well you already know that haha" he says with a big toothy grin.

"I'm Yoongi." I say with a flat tone , not smiling. I see his smile falter a little. Shoot. I didn't mean to be rude. I'm really not a smiley person, that's just how I am. I want to apologize but that would be weird.

"Come follow me and I'll show you the back room, what to do and stuff ." I say, a little kinder this time.

his smile comes back immediately and he follows behind me to the back room.

I show him everything he needs to know and he's a really fast learner. He's so optimistic and happy and... It's tiring but it's refreshing at the same time. I really like him and I've only been with him for half a day. And here's the thing. I. Dont. Like. People... Usually, but Hoseok was different.

3rd person P.O.V

The whole day was a new, but good experience for the both of them. There was hardly ever silence between the two, and when there was it was a comfortable kind. They mostly just laughed and talked about whatever whilst they folded clothes and restocked the back room. Soon it was 2, and Yoongi 's shift was over. And for once in his entire working career, he didn't want it to end. Oh, how he adored Hoseok. Maybe it was too early to have these feelings, but Yoongi didn't care. His infatuation with the red head was undeniable. He was so funny and he could already see that he was caring by the way he treated the customers and other co-workers, and he was smart. And on top of that, he was really good looking. The list could go on and on. Yoongi packed up his stuff and let the dread fill him again as he said goodbye to Hoseok and left the building. Then, he got an idea. He ran back into the store where Hoseok was packing up too, since their shifts ended at the same time.

"Hoseok!" Yoongi shouted

" Yoongi! " Hoseok replied with a laugh.

"Do you... W-want to maybe get like a drink or a late lunch or something? with me, I mean" Yoongi stuttered.

Hoseok blinked in surprise. "Yeah, for sure! Let me go home and change first. Here's my number, I'll send you my address." He says and he types his number into Yoongi's phone.

"Okay I'll see you soon Hoseok!" Yoongi says, feeling much happier than the first time he left the store.

Hoseok's P.O.V

"OKAY OKAY CALM DOWN IT'S JUST SOME LUNCH. NOT A DATE" I scream internally as I throw my new name tag on my nightstand. I walk across my colourful room and peer into the closet. "Hmmmm, I like this sweater.. And it's rainbow, so maybe he'll get the hint" I think slyly to myself. I match that with a pair of ripped jeans and some vans. Soon enough, I was ready. I texted Yoongi My address and he said he was on his way. My mood went from good to great! I'm usually in a good mood and life is pretty okay right now, I just like to look on the bright side of things. Although things are going good, I will admit... I'm freaking LONELY. Of course of course, I have friends. But no matter what people say, friends aren't the same as a special someone. It's two completely different types of love, if you get what I mean? Yoongi is such a cutie, but we only just met today... He prolly doesn't like guys like I do. He seems a bit cold too, but I'm determined to find his soft side. It's my favorite side of people.

The doorbell rings and I run to the door. But, nobody's there. I look a bit further out, and by the curb in front of the apartment complex, I see a dark blue car. The windows open and Yoongi is waving at me, with the cute little gummy smile that I've grown to love in under one day. I walk up and get in the car.

"how'd you ring the doorbell if you didn't get out of the car?" I ask.

"oh I did." He replies nonchalantly. "I just don't like standing, so I came back here and sat down, it's too much work to stand"

l laugh at him. He turns out of the parking lot and heads to the cafe. The car ride was filled with easygoing conversation. I got to know even more about Yoongi and he got to know more about me. We get to the coffee shop and order what we want. We keep talking. It's funny, Neither of us has shut up since the time I got into the car. Yoongi's so easy to talk to, and that's nice, cause I thought he'd be the exact opposite. Our food comes, and a comfortable silence falls over us, as we stuff out mouths with food. Soon, lunch is over, and I'm sad. Jeeeeeeeeez, I can't get enough of this guy!! Then I get an idea. I still think it's a bit too early to just ask what Yoongi's sexuality is. But this idea might help me get the information I need, without being awkward. I might as well give it a shot. We get into the car and I ask.

"Yoongi, are you doing anything else today?"

"uhhh, nope. I don't think so." He replies

" want to come over? I got this new game on my phone and I haven't found anyone to play with yet" I say, crossing my fingers, hoping he might agree.

"Yeah sure!" He says , but then clears his throat and composes himself, "I mean, yeah.. I'm down"

I roll my eyes and we head back to my apartment.

Yoongi 's P.O.V

HE JUST INVITED ME TO HIS HOUSE!!!! I'm freaking out. But I gotta keep my swag. Alright deep breaths. We pull up to his apartment and he unlocks the door. The apartment is small but not too small, and it's clean, but not too clean and still decorated nicely. The main thing I noticed, is that it was empty.

"You live here alone?" I ask flopping down onto his maroon couch.

"Yeah, it's nice cause the rents not too bad, but I'm lonely" he said with a sad smile.

"If you're ever lonely, you've got me now." I say sitting up and looking at him seriously .

"Thanks Yoongi. It means a lot. Ok lets play that game now" he says as he sits down next to me.

Hoseok pulls out his phone and clicks on an app.

"Its called.. Truth or dare" he says.

"Hoseok, I know what truth or dare is" I say.

"Reallly!?" He asks

" Uhm, yes... It's one of the most popular games out there.. Are you telling me that you haven't heard of truth or dare? " I reply

"You know what... Let's just play" he says, blushing and looking down at his phone. "Yoongi, truth or dare!!"

"Dare. "

He smiles brightly and clicks the dare button on the screen. His smile falters for a second and he looks confused.

"Uh.... Eat a spoonful of wasabi." He mumbles

" No. " I say.

"Well that's fine, cause I don't have wasabi anyway" he says, "I'll pick a different one"

he clicks again and giggles as he reads it. Man, even his laugh was cute. What the hell, Hoseok.

"Lick the toilet seat" he says and laughs louder again.

"See, I'd do that. But it's too far away." I say, genuinely not wanting to get up.

"Ugh, fine. One more, but this one, you have to do." He says rolling his eyes.

"Third times the charm!" I tell him

He clicks, once again, and reads the dare on the screen. His cheeks turn a bit pink and he looks up.

"H-hold hands with the person next to you for 3 turns."

~

Hi guysss this is my first post ever on tumblr, I wrote this fanfiction a while ago on wattpad (its still up there too if you want to check it out) anyways there's one more chapter of this story. enjoy!! <3

[toziers]

can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts. 

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention. 

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable  with “notsfw” and “bill hader”. 

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs. 

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves. 

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over. 

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag. 

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti. 

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself. 

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog). 

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine. 

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts. 

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again. 

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content. 

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning. 

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves. 

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree). 

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen. 

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that 

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19. 

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in). 

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry. 

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has. 

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink. 

[imaginethathaikyuu]

Hi I’ve been reading your scenarios and I couldn’t help but see what your take on a soulmate AU for oikawa would look like (of course if it is ok with you). I really love your writing!

okay i dont even know what happened nor do i know how the fuck this got so long, i just got carried away. i told myself i didnt like soulmate au���s all that much and then i wrote one that was ten pages long. anyway, this is my take on a soulmate au. thank you for the kind words and for the request!▻fem reader

word count: 2424

Everyone wanted to be Oikawa Tooru’s soulmate. Everyone - the literal sense of the word.

Boys, girls, and everything in between or outside of the two. At least one person a day would come up to him and ask that fated question: “Can I see your tattoo?”

And Oikawa gets it, he does - having him for his soulmate would be a ticket to the top of high school’s social hierarchy. He’s not even being egotistical; it’s just the truth. Everyone knows that the person destined to be with Oikawa not only got to be with the attractive boy forever, but they also got eternal bragging rights. At times, it seemed that pride mattered more to those around him than actually finding their soulmate.

It was that reason that Oikawa never showed anyone his tattoo; not even his best of friends had seen it. And it’s not that he doesn’t, technically, want to find his soulmate - he does. Oikawa yearns to hold someone close, kiss their lips until he’s seeing stars, tell them how much he loves them - he wants to find the person who has the perfect match of his tattoo so badly.

But he knows it isn’t worth it. He’s not going to go around showing off his tattoo to everyone who asks, only to find his match and realize all they want him for is an accessory.

“My soulmate is a volleyball genius!”

“My soulmate is going to go pro one day! We’ll be rich!”

“My soulmate is the hottest guy in school!”

Those phrases and many like it bounce around in his mind any time he sees someone who he may enjoy looking at for the rest of his life. Being with someone who refers to him as their soulmate rather than their boyfriend was one of his greatest fears.

So instead of letting himself be excited at the prospect of finding his soulmate - like most others are - he forced himself to forget about the entire thing. To him, it was as if soulmates don’t even exist. The tattoo on his upper-inner arm was more like a birthmark rather than an indication of eternal love. He never looked for his soulmate, he isn’t suspicious of everyone he meets, he never even engages the idea. And that’s how he likes it.

If Oikawa never finds his soulmate, fine by him.

It was because of his attitude that he was able to go about his day normally. He was able to focus in class. He was able to have the best practice he could every single day. He was able to sit where he is now - in the lunchroom with you - and enjoy his lunch with his friend and with peace of mind.

Until that infamous question was asked again - by someone standing behind him.

“Oikawa, let me see your tattoo! I want to see if we match!”

Fuck off, he wanted to say, but he’d never allow himself to be so rude. He thought about what would happen if this random girl was his soulmate - would the universe be so cruel as to give him a soulmate who doesn’t even respect him enough to look him in the eye before speaking to him?

In the time he spent lost in thought, you spoke up for Oikawa. “Fuck off,” you said with your mouth half full, “maybe if you were more respectful, he’d show it to you. Go away.”

He heard the footsteps of the girl leaving, and that along with your frustrated face caused him to smile. You had nearly read his mind - he appreciated that about you.

“Thank you,” Oikawa said with a sigh. You gave a hum in response as you continued to eat your lunch, unaffected by the mini confrontation you just had.

After a beat of silence, Oikawa spoke again. “Y/N, it’s too hot.”

“Duh, it’s nearly summer,” you replied, fanning yourself with your hand.

“Wanna have a pool party?”

“Yes, please,” you said. “Who else is invited?”

“Iwa-chan, but he already declined,” Oikawa said. “Just me and you.”

“Perfect.”

“Come over after school, then.”

Thanks to the plans awaiting him, the rest of the school day felt neverending. Luckily for Oikawa it was Monday, meaning no practice - and while he should at least work out, he’d be damned if he put any more time between him and his pool.

He had already been swimming for at least ten minutes by the time you got to his house. When you walked through the gate you saw him in the pool, floating lazily about the water on top of a large, bright green inflatable ring.

He looked so relaxed that it made you genuinely envious, and you couldn’t wait to be floating next to him.

That’s where you were after a few minutes - both of you were laid back, quietly soaking up the sun as if you had no worries in the world.

Except, Oikawa had just one worry.

He kept looking over at you, trying his best to ensure that you weren’t looking at him. As far as he could tell, you weren’t, but he knew you could be sneaky.

He had become undyingly aware of his soulmate tattoo from the moment you stepped foot into the pool - and he had completely forgotten that this would be an issue for him.

You were one of the people he trusted most, so it’s not like it’d be the end of the world for you to see his tattoo. But all of his bad experiences - especially those he’s had while swimming - keep his anxiety at the forefront of his mind.

After three years of friendship, neither of you had seen the other’s tattoos. You had never even asked to see his - you didn’t care about that at all. That’s something he loved about you, it’s what made him keep you so close.

But Oikawa could not stop thinking about all of the times people had fooled him into showing them his tattoo. That’s usually why he swam with a shirt on, or at least something covering his arm, but today he had completely forgotten.

“Stop looking at me.”

“Sorry.”

You laughed a bit and ran your hand through your sopping wet hair. The wind was blowing, you could hear the sound of children laughing and playing a little bit down the street, and you had never been so relaxed - until you were splashed in the face by a large wave of water.

“What the fuck, Tooru?!” you yelled, thinking he had rudely splashed you. After wiping your eyes you looked over to see that wasn’t the case, instead he had fell off of his float and into the pool. You groaned, wiping the rest of the water off of your face before closing your eyes, trying to find your relaxed state again.

Oikawa was fucked.

What do I do. What do I say. How do I speak.

These are all the thoughts he had while under water. He wasn’t moving his limbs, he was just sitting under - for as long as he possibly could.

He needed air, but his need to avoid his issues mattered more.

Maybe I’m imagining things. Maybe I saw it wrong. That’s it - that’s definitely it. The heat it getting to my head.

After one more second of being alone, he stood up, reminding himself that he’s not thinking straight and that he should go inside before it gets worse.

Oikawa wiped his eyes and turned around to tell you he was done for the day. You were holding your hand up over your eyes to block the sun and get a good look at him, and he saw it again.

You were going to ask if he’s okay, but he cut you off. “What the fuck, Y/N?”

He watched your brows furrow. “The hell is your problem?”

He had to get out. He had to get away. He needed to talk to someone about this.

Except he couldn’t, because the person he always goes to for advice just so happens to be his fucking soulmate.

“Your - your tattoo.”  

God, he sounded pathetic.

Your eyes darted to your inner arm where your tattoo is, and you snorted. “Oh, yeah. I forgot you hadn’t seen it.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

He was out of breath. He felt teary eyed. This entire day was fucked. He had spent all this time avoiding and hating soulmates all together that he couldn’t even be happy that he found his.

You weren’t sure what was going on, but Oikawa didn’t seem like he was dying, so you weren’t too worried.

“What about my tattoo?” you asked, curiosity getting the best of you.

Without looking at you he said, “I’ve got the same one.”

“Cool.”

His head snapped to your direction, his eyes wide - did you even care?

“What do you mean ‘cool’?”

“You don’t think it’s cool?” you asked, glancing at him.

“I don’t know, I - I need to go.” He had already been on his way to the pool’s steps by the time he finally choked out the words.

“I’m staying until sunset,” you called to him, closing your eyes and resting your head on the float. Oikawa didn’t respond.

He grabbed his towel before walking inside, dripping water on the floor but paying no mind to it. After grabbing his cell phone and clothes from his room, he went straight to the bathroom.

His face looked rough in the mirror. His eyes were red - from the pool water, but he wouldn’t doubt the tears he nearly shed contributed to the redness a bit.

This was all his fault for inviting you over to swim without even thinking - but he was trying to think of anyone else to blame.

You, for having the tattoo.

The universe for giving it to you.

Iwaizumi, for denying his invitation to swim with him.

Speaking of Iwaizumi, that’s who he was currently trying to get ahold of, but the bastard wouldn’t answer his phone.

This is definitely the universe’s fault.

It took no time for him to change into dry clothes - calling Iwaizumi three times in the process - before he went back to his bedroom.

He debated taking a nap to just check out for awhile, but that decision was made for him when his phone started ringing.

“What the fuck do you want?” he heard through the speaker as soon as he answered, “you woke me up -”

“I’m having an emergency,Y/N is my soulmate, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Where is she right now?”

“In my pool.”

“Where are you?”

“In my room.”

“You idiot.”

Oikawa gasped. “How am I an idiot?”

“You’ve finally found your soulmate - who’s hot as fuck, by the way - and instead of taking her to your bedroom, you run away from her. You’re the definition of an idiot.”

Oikawa wanted to scream - at Iwaizumi, at the world, at the universe. He doesn’t want a soulmate. You would understand him better than Iwaizumi, if only he could actually talk to you.

“She’s your soulmate for a reason, don’t be a moron and fuck up what the universe has laid out perfectly for you. Knowing Y/N, she probably doesn’t give two shits about being the Great Oikawa’s soulmate. You have nothing to worry about, dipshit.”

That’s when Oikawa heard the glass door slide open, followed by the call of his name. He quickly told Iwaizumi he had to go before rolling over onto his stomach, hiding his face in his pillow.

This is all too scary for him.

“Tooru,” you called again, going straight to his bedroom where you knew he’d be. “I forgot a change of clothes, can I borrow something?”

All Oikawa could bring himself to do was point at his drawer, which you ruffled through to find sweatpants and a t-shirt.

“It’s alright if I change in here, right? Since we’re soulmates and all?”

“No!” Oikawa said loudly into his pillow, the thought of you being naked in his room haunting his mind and his body.

You laughed all the way to the bathroom, and Oikawa wanted to take this chance to run away, but he couldn’t make himself move.

Your mood had shifted when you returned to his room. Honestly, you weren’t surprised that Oikawa is your soulmate - after all, you had never gotten along with anyone better than you had with him. But just like him, the idea of soulmates never quite mattered to you; you’d spent years watching your peers obsessing over them, making themselves upset over not having their soulmate yet, and you could never let yourself go down that rabbit hole.

Oikawa, on the other hand - you knew how he felt about the whole thing.

You laid down next to him, laying on your back and looking up at the ceiling.

“You okay?” you asked, combing your fingers through your tangled, wet hair. Oikawa didn’t respond. “Come on, Tooru, I know having me as your soulmate isn’t ideal, but it’s not the end of the world is it?”

You were party joking - but you were worried at the reaction he was having to this.

He turned his head and looked at you, and you looked at him. “Shut up.”

So, you shut up until Oikawa decided he wanted to talk to you. And it didn’t take long - he couldn’t handle being left in silence for too long. He rolled over onto his side, facing you. “Can I see it again?”

“Hypocrite,” you whispered as you lifted your left arm, pulling up your sleeve so your tattoo was visible. “I want to see yours, too, I need some proof that you’re actually my soulmate.”

Tooru pulled up the sleeve on his right arm, moving so his tattoo was visible. You rolled over to face him, getting a better look at it.

A circle with a smaller circle inside of it and a pair of crossed lines on top of them. A perfect match for yours.

“It’s weird seeing it on someone else,” you said, reaching out and running a finger over his skin.

“No kidding,” Oikawa scoffed. You couldn’t help but smile at him, the reality of the situation finally setting in.

“We’re soulmates,” you cooed, wanting to wrap him up in your arms - but that could wait. You did have forever, afterall.

“I guess so,” Oikawa responded, smiling back at you. “This is going to take some getting used to.”

“You know, they say sex with your soulmate is mind blowing.”

“Shut up.”

got a request? send it in. i’ll write it.

[loudthunderxheavyrain]

January 2020? End of December 2019? 1.

When we met, it didn’t go very well.. and I’m sorry for that. I thought you were so handsome and literally was like why do you hate me already?! You still to this day blame me and I tease you but I accept it. I was rude to you. And. I heard you were rude too. Long before we met. I didn’t know personally. I’d definitely come to find out though.. Then- I felt you were being disrespectful to me. You called me condescending. I asked you if “you knew what that meant” but you laid into me- with your eyes judging and looking down on me and your words piercing. I got so upset I went to the back room walk-in fridge before I started to cry. Boss made me apologize to you actually he made us apologize to each other pretty much.. that night was pretty much over. We really didn’t talk much. But you kept coming in on my shift. So I knew that you must have wanted be around or maybe to get to know me, or maybe it was just a “your bar” and you really thought I was a bitch... but eventually, I get you to talk to me. And I asked you random questions till you noticed how interested in you I was. In the beginning, we definitely weren’t on good terms. I think that was the second time I saw you when I told you I wouldn’t cut you a bad lime..... we really had more mean words and now you get fresh limes cut for you every time you’re at the bar.. you’re that important for me to please.. You look at me sometimes and it makes me consider all things. Its in the way you look at me but you never let anybody know.. you’re going to keep in that little secret… That you hated me at first but you really like me now. I feel it sometimes. You and I were tough for a few more weeks. I slowly started to compliment you. Talk to you more. Asked you personal stuff. I heard you talking about baby B. I asked about him. I got to know you through the conversations you were having around you. I saw how you talked to people and responded so I was always trying to learn you. By watching you. I literally wanted to know everything about you. Right away. And it’s crazy cause of what I had heard of you before. I heard you were harsh. And a different kind of man. I LOVE this about you though. It’s such a magnet for me. Your personality demeanor voice all gets me. Your “” ways are sexy to me too. You are a different breed and I want all of it. The intelligence, the humor, the debates. You open parts of my mind I NEVER KNEW existed. You seriously make me happy by just being you and the person you are with others. Strange as shit but true. I liked you. Even with your attitude, really liked you. You hate me still sometimes cause I’m annoying but you call me randomly. It’s a line.

March 25, 2020

I woke up at around 348am to your FaceTime call but told you i was asleep you let me go and i went back to sleep.. my alarm was set for 615am and at 608am or something like that to the phone ringing it was you again and you wanted me to come over to homies house. I had work. I was getting ready for work so I got ready quicker than usual and got there by like 725am and ended up going inside the house with the homies gf and him “sleeping” and she got super mad at me for being there. You were being kinda loud and she yelled at us so you called her a psychopath.. 🙄 l laid down on their love seat couch with you both our feet hanging off the end and cuddling.. first with my back toward you but I was shaking so you were making fun of me asking if you made me nervous you said something like “are you nervous why are you nervous? What’s wrong with you?!” but you do make me nervous every single time I see you and because my legs wouldn’t stop shaking. You told me to face you and after that it was super intense.. we talked a little.. you asked me over and over if you made me nervous so I final said yes I guess you do.. so you started getting a little closer pulling on me closer and telling me I was something else.. you told me more.. you told me with your eyes how much you liked me but were scared... but then slowly you came closer and closer to give me soft tender intense small kisses and probably the best teasing kiss I’ve ever had in such a long time... I am not just saying that to be cute.. you breathed on my face and my neck.. came close but you didn’t touch kept teasing me played with my nose and my lips got me to stop shaking as much.. I couldn’t stop smiling at your perfection. So much so.. that I had to close my eyes to stop staring at you.. you have a perfect face perfect skin I love your teeth and your nose is the cutest. you smell good your facial expressions just make me want to love you forever because I feel your pains.. I just really want to spend all my time with you and see you and have you look at me the way you do and laugh at me I don’t even care if you’re laughing at me actually i love that it makes me know that you like me.. I know you do now. You told me to shut up when i said it but you do. You don’t want to. It’s exactly how i feel.. i dont want to want you. I don’t want to even like you.. but we do. The biggest opposites attraction I’ve ever had. You teach me a lot. Debate and argue constantly but it makes me wonder and try to keep up with your cool. But you make me think. You push my limits. And my buttons. I know i do to you also. But we flirt it out. About 12 hours later, I text you, “damn just wanted to say hi..” you then text back... 🖤- “You were wasted and it probably shouldnt have happened”. I was pissed at first but immediately let it go. Why should i care? Youve been scared this whole time. I must intimidate you or you must have taken me as a threat when you met me at the bar. But like I said, you get fresh cut fruit just for you every time O see you now. You legit are babied and taken care of by me now because i cant stop considering you.. Every time.

April 18-19, 2020

Twice now, after a long night of partying, you’ve text and ended up FaceTiming me. You invited me to homies gmas house... late. I got there at 12:45am. You called and asked me to come 30 mins after I told you I would and changed my mind.. of course I went because you asked me to. Twice you asked. The second time i definitely understood you wanted me there. You sat next to me a lot of the night. Kept offering things to me. Lines. Almost making sure I was good.. I loved that. You sat on the floor near me. A lot. You let me touch you a little bit and showed me the movie Tombstone. You told The Homie how awesome he is. He is. But I want to experience you once. Just once.

We fell asleep together. You texting me after leaving a night of partying and FaceTiming me had been a three times thing now... which i love and seem to now look forward to. You FaceTime me and you’re tired. The entire two and a half hours all I said was “go to sleep and sleep” while you kept fighting sleep like you had to. You told me to stop eye raping you. I covered my eyes with my sweatshirt good and tried to peek at you under it. It helped you sleep. You are beautiful. You’re a bad sleeper. But i stared at you. I stayed on FaceTime and eventually fell asleep too. You woke up and hung up after awhile and you don’t text me at all unless you’re faded or beyond bored. But seem interested in me and “my toxicity”. I love talking with you and being near you. Somethings different here. You’re not going to change my mind about what i think of you. You may change my feeling toward you. But that’s about it. I know you’re a genuine person. Whether you want to show me that side of you or not.

[irwintry]

Like Candy

Warnings: swearing

Author’s Note: stomp on the ground (sea bears take it as a challenge) i kinda wish i could rewrite this part but at the same time i dont wanna 

Word Count: 1.9k

part one

Ashton's life felt like clockwork. Everything fit together just perfectly, and he had it all planned to a t. He knew exactly what kind of life he wanted to live during and after fame. Of course, there were a few roadblocks here and there, but his life remained steadily consistent.

You played a big part in that. He was used to you, even though he was the biggest pest of your life. That he knew. He loved seeing you flustered, and a part of him wanted it to be because of other reasons. Except, Ashton couldn't have that. His plan didn't involve you like that, so he scrapped whatever pieces included seeing you. That meant no Scotty's, no sunny-side-up eggs, and no you.

He stopped holding parties, too. He feared you would show up announced so you could talk to him. If he was honest – which he really, really wanted to be, he would let you talk to him. He would stop the entire world to see you one more time. But, he couldn't convince himself to even drive by that diner that had every jam in the world but orange marmalade. It was okay because he didn't like orange marmalade.

"You're depressing," a friend of his pointed out one night. They were four beers in, and Ashton felt nothing.

"Don't say that," he told his friend (whose name did not matter). Ashton felt it was his duty to defend himself at every given moment. He wouldn't allow himself to feel vulnerable, even when he wanted to crumble. He wanted to admit he was weak. He wasn't the Ashton that you grew to hate at the diner.

One morning, he drove by Scotty's. The windows were gone, and the glass doors had painted red x's down the front. He accidentally honked out of frustration, which caused a parade of honks to echo down the boulevard. The diner had been cut out of his life for two months now, but it destroyed him to see it go before he could say goodbye. This also meant he had no idea how to find you.

He only knew your first name and that you had a pug named Horace. By this point, the only way of seeing you again was if you decided to knock on his front door. You wouldn't; he made it clear he didn't want to see you again after never going back to Scotty's. He could tell you weren't the type to chase after things, especially when they weren't even yours in the first place. But in a way, he hoped he was wrong.

That kind of made Ashton hate himself. Why couldn't he just be nice to you? He wanted to show you exactly how he felt, but he couldn't. He had become the definition of a stupid schoolboy being a meanie because he had a crush on a girl. The pure idea made it hard for him to live with himself. He wanted to take it all back. Ashton didn't like to apologize, but for you, he wanted to spend the rest of his life making sure you knew how sorry he was.

Maybe that was why he drove by Scotty's in the first place. He had to start somewhere.

Sometimes, he drove by that gas station off of La Cienega to see if he could spot you pumping gas. He would even stop there a few times to buy him a little more time... just in case.

Ashton felt really pathetic. To him, you were sweet like candy (you reminded him of a Hershey's kiss), but not a fucked-up Warhead like himself. If you kept him in your cheek, it would only burn a little less. Too much of him would be unbearable.

What he didn't know was that you wouldn't believe any of that. You saw right through his sour shell. You also felt bad for him, but you'd never admit that to the poor soul. After knowing him for as long as you had, you figured out why he built a wall around his feelings. His "likings" towards you were hidden behind cold glares and deep, unkind laughter. You wanted to forgive him for that, which is why it took you two months to shake off the complex emotions rattling around in your brain.

You were pounding on his front door at eleven o'clock at night– you were too tired of feeling this way. You were too tired of this open-ended story he wrote for the two of you, even if it meant rejection.

Ashton had been fresh out of the shower, his eyes droopy and exhausted from a long day of writing and brainstorming. A stained gray shirt adorned his chest, the heathered material tucked tight into sweatpants of a darker shade. He was just about to make himself a bowl of black raspberry frozen yogurt when he heard your rhythmic knocking.

Neither of you said anything as he opened the door with a tired smile – a smile that fell right as his eyes landed on your sad ones. He took you in, forcing himself to keep the damn door open because he needed to face his feelings. It was a miracle you were here; he wouldn't have found you if you hadn't shown up.

"I– "

"'m not gonna be mean," he said, his voice sleepy.

Already, things were off to a different start than you had thought. You figured he'd slam the door in your face with a roll of his eyes. You would knock again, and he'd shout something rude from the inside. Or, he'd let you in and fuck you over once again.

You nodded.

Ashton felt a bit of bile rise up in his throat, so he opened the door for you and swallowed it down while you walked by him. It was his body's way of pushing away any temptations to be as cruel and sour as he had been months ago.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked softly. He couldn't even believe he had enough strength to vocalize coherent words. "Water? Toast with jam?"

You chuckled to yourself. "'m good," you said. "I just– uh, I should've stayed home." You scratched your arm through the waffled material of your sweatshirt.

Ashton looked at you with wide eyes, and he let you continue.

"I thought it would be smart of me to come here and tell you everything that's been on my mind," you continued. "I thought I would waltz in and easily explain how you've made me feel. I mean, fuck, Ashton you played me. You told me you liked me, fucked me, and then left me there. I shouldn't have come because clearly you don't care, and you never cared." You started towards the door, proud that you had said all of that without shedding a single tear. When you reached for the door handle, Ashton stepped in between you and the metal.

"'s not fair," he whispered, it was quite wimpy at that. "Not fair what I did to you. I'd take it back if I could."

"Then why– " You took a deep breath. "Why did you do it in the first place?"

He sighed and instinctively reached for one of your hands; it shocked him that you didn't pull away. "A little messed up in here," he said as he used his other hand to motion toward his head. There was a light laugh that escaped from his lips, but it wasn't genuine. Seeing you and holding this conversation gave him the worst anxiety he had felt since his first stage performance.

You nodded but said nothing. You were waiting for him to prove himself.

It was like a bomb went off in Ashton's head. He gripped his hair, attempting to force the truth out of his mouth while every muscle in his face tensed as time passed. He had never been this awful at feelings, especially when the risk of you never believing him was so strong. Not only that, but he had no excuse to act the way he did around you. You knew he liked you. What he never told you was that he was absolutely head over heels in love with you and the idea of you. Most likely, it was the latter that drove him insane. He didn't know you, not enough to be in love with you.

"But you know me better than anyone else," he said out of the blue. He waited to see your expression change, yet it didn't. Maybe you agreed. "Y'know, I really don't expect you to understand anything 'm gonna say."

You raised an eyebrow. "Why? Because you don't think I'm smart, or something?"

"No!" Ashton had fucked up already. "Fu– no, that's not– I didn't mean to say it like that. You, like, really fucked my mind up. You know I like you, you know I– "

"Do I?"

He frowned. "I like you way more than I let out. I mean, it's fucking crazy how much I like you. You and Scotty's were my escape, and once I started going there for you and you only, I didn't know how to be nice. You were bringing out the worst in me, and to this day, I don't know why. I'm giving you no reasons to trust me or believe me. Literally no reasons. You have every right to be mad or confused, or to just fuckin' slap me if you– "

It was like a brick hit his face. He hadn't actually expected you to slap him, but he was glad you did. It stopped the word vomit from ensuing moments later, and it released whatever tensions you were holding back.

He breathed out, shutting his eyes momentarily so he could steady his emotions. "I wanted you more than I've wanted anyone in my life, and I didn't know what to do. I want you." He couldn't open his eyes. "I played you. I fucked you over. And I'll forever hate myself for treating you the way I did. I wanna make it up to you– I'd spend my whole life doing it, but I'd never blame you for walking away."

When he opened his eyes, he noticed your rosy cheeks. You appeared to have relaxed a little bit– even though your arms were crossed, and your shoulders were hunched over. You weren't looking at him.

"'m just confused," you whispered. You looked so small, and he wanted to do was wrap you up in his arms. "I've never met anyone who will confess their feelings to someone and then drop them out of their life like one of their hook-ups. I actually had feelings for you, too. Dunno how. You were fuckin’ cruel."

Ashton's face crumbled. He could hear his heart in his ears as he took a step back against the door. Had you ever told him how you felt before? He couldn't remember; like always, he had focused on himself.

After that, he didn't know what to say. The silence was burning into his skull after every passing moment and looking into your eyes was too overwhelming for him to focus on another thought. The situation he had put himself in created this. And yet, he no longer felt nervous. He felt every bit comfortable being this vulnerable in front of you– something that he never thought he would ever, ever feel.

"I'm so sorry," he breathed out, almost a little too hushed for anyone to hear.

But you had. You just nodded.

"It's late," he said. "Stay tonight."

"Ash– "

"Please."

You didn't react right away. This was the longest time the two of you had maintained solid eye contact, and it was too overwhelming to look elsewhere. You wanted to see those hazel eyes until colors failed you.

"Okay," you mumbled.

Ashton felt his heart skip. The universe was giving him another chance    

[angelinacas]

So back in the beginning of December I was invited to go see a LIVE taping of The Voice. It was pretty exciting!! I have been to a live taping of a television show before. I have been on set of a movie before. But this was definitely a different experience, because it was the live taping of the performances. It was very different. So here goes…

  The email we received with the instructions said that we will NOT be allowed to bring in our cell phones. So we had to leave all of our phones in the car. So the only selfies we took that day were these ones in the car.

And then we took this one when we got to the parking structure.

The call time for check in was 330pm, but we had read online about other people’s experiences and they all said that it would be a good idea to get there around 130pm to start lining up.

We parked in the parking structure and followed the signs to The Voice line. Make sure you don’t pass the elevators otherwise you’ll wandering through CityWalk looking for more signs haha. So we go down the elevator and down into the lower level of the parking structure and get in line. There looked to be about maybe 50-60 people in line already. We thought we were going to be standing for hours and hours, but nope. We were in line for about 20 minutes. A guy came out and gave instructions that phones were not allowed in there so people had a few more minutes to take their phones back to their cars and come back in line. Surprised me how many people DID NOT read the rules on the tickets or in the email.

So a heads up, when you are printing your ticket and parking pass at home, make sure you print the 2 other pages as well and sign them. That way you wont be bombarded at the table with papers and pens and try to crawl over the crowd to get a form or a pen. Be prepared. We already had ours, so we bypassed the chaos bunch and went straight to the next line.

A security person then started down the line checking names, ID’s and taking signed forms. Once checked in they let walk to the metal detectors and a colored bracelet was put on you. We were given silver on this trip. (another trip given purple) They will tell you that the colors dont mean anything… they just mean you will be on a certain trolley. That is a lie. lol.. You will be placed in different groups for seating. The first time we had silver and we learned that was for the people in the pit. The purple wristbands on another trip were for the stadium seats behind the judges… so…

Anywho… we got wristbands and walked through a hallway and then came out to a patio area. There were chairs lined up under a canopy. There were also two food trucks there. You can buy food or something to drink. At the front of the chairs, there were water stations for free water. And on the other side of the chairs there were port-o-pottys. Fun.

I would suggest EAT BEFORE YOU GET THERE. And don’t drink too much if you have a light bladder. lol.

An usher sat us in the chairs… filling up the whole area. That took about an hour to get everyone checked in and sat down. We met and chatted with seat neighbors. The wait wasnt bad because we were sitting down. Which was nice considering we were going to be standing for the next 4 hours…IN HEELS!!

Here’s another tip: wear COMFORTABLE shoes!! It says in the ticket information to dress to impress. But it really DOES NOT matter. It’s so dark in there and the cameras will NOT see your shoes. So if you wanna dress fancy and hip, go for it. But i would totally wear some comfy vans or uggs. Something cushiony.

So… after about an hour, each wristband color was called and we got on the trolleys. we were taken on a trolley down to the studio. It was a fun ride. Then we got in line outside The Voice studio. The famous wall with the hand holding the microphone. We were there.

We waited more in a group than a line outside. Each color was placed in a little group there. We watched as the performers families arrived and got in line. We saw a couple celebrities arrive and even they stood in line. We waited maybe another 15-20 minutes as everyone was arriving. Families and celebrities were escorted in first. Then our silver bracelets were led in. We were the lucky ones to be put in “The Pit”. The Pit is the standing crowd you see on each side of the stage. If you want to be on camera, (its dark… but on camera) go further into the pit and along the stage. Near the speakers. You will be slightly on camera lol. It is really so dark in there when the cameras come on.

BUT… on one shot, my hand was on camera. YAY. hahaha right there, front and center. My hand is the one that looks like I’m touching this girl. lol.. That was pretty much the brightest it was in there. When the camera was at that angle.

We received A LOT of rules and direction from security and the crowd hype guy!! We can NOT boo under any circumstance. We don’t do the sway thing… eventhough, i think 2 songs they told us to sway lol.. We were told to clap and cheer and be loud and enthusiastic. The hype guy said “The crowd the week prior was real quiet and weak. So we need to be loud and energetic tonight.” But I quickly learned he says that every taping. haha

A couple of the security guys were kind rude. Not a smile or anything out of them. Seemed like they are just tired of their job so they could care less what job they are at. lol.. They’re just there. But there were a couple of guys who did actually smile and were personable. That was nice. Considering we were all just super excited to BE THERE. It was cool to feel welcomed by the few that made us feel it.

Carson wasn’t so talkative. He kind of just went in and out. Kelly definitely is EXACTLY as she is on camera. Very talkative and funny. Genuine. I absolutely love her!! Gwen seemed sweet. She said hi a couple times. John didn’t look away from his phone at all that night. But on another night he waved at us. And Blake was watching Monday Night football during one show and was joking and flirting with Gwen another night. Kinda funny.

The show was a live taping. The live semi-final performances. So we got to see all the performances of the last 8 finalists. Then we saw a secret performance that were being recorded for the finale! YES. You heard that right… recorded performances for the finale. Really cool that we were there for that!! We got to see Lady Antebellum perform live!! So awesome. They literally went on stage, Carson introduced them, they sang, we clapped, they were done and they walked off stage. And that was it. lol. That is pretty much how the entire show of performances went on throughout the night.

Introduction, sing, clap, walk off. lol. Nothing else in between. No time to talk to anyone. Just that. It was a rush because it was live. During each commercial break all the judges personal stylists, makeup artists, personal assistants and photographers came to judges chairs. Gwen took so many selfies. Total selfie queen. lol.

Overall, it was a fun day. The taping ended at about 7pm and we were on the freeway home by 730pm. It was an awesome experience. So much fun!!

To recap, my tips:

Eat before you get there.

Get there about 2 hours before call time to get in line.

Make sure you print and sign ALL the forms. (Tickets, parking pass, NDA and Photo Release)

Leave your phone in the car.

Wear COMFORTABLE shoes!!!!

Don’t be shy!!

Have fun!!

If you have any questions, leave them in the comments or email me. If you ever get a chance to go, share your story! I would love to hear your experience!

Blessings in 2020

    This is The Voice So back in the beginning of December I was invited to go see a LIVE taping of The Voice.

[peacedolantwins]

Clean (E.D) Part 3

A/N: so this one is gonna be a bit longer just because I feel like I’m breaking it too much so here we go, also yes i threw emma in here because i need to move the plot along 

You had found a nice park a few blocks away from where the house was and seeing how cold it was, there wasnt any kids around. You really should have brought a thicker sweater. You went and sat down on the empty swings, taking a moment just to breathe in your surroundings. There was something calming about being in a park when no one else was around. When a gust of wind came by, you watched as a few of the leafs from a near by tree fell off and were added to the pile already forming on the ground.

Being around other people was something you hadnt gotten used to since you left New York. Everything was so different here in LA. It was nice having people not know about your past or what happened. Your feeling for Ethan were happening so fast and it was kind of scaring you. Last time you had felt anything close to this, you ended up making a mess of your life back home.

You had just met him, but everything just felt right. You knew he would have had to be a good person or else James wouldn’t be friends with him after all. After everything you’ve been through you knew he wouldnt bring someone like your ex around you. Maybe you could just see how things go and take it from there.

“Hey,” You were brought out of your thoughts when someone sat down at the swing next to you. Looking over, Ethan was right there, just waiting for you to say something.

“Did James send you after me?” You were kind of offended that James didnt trust you to go out on your own.

“No he didnt. It just looked like you were upset when you left and you could use someone to talk to.” He looked at you like he genuinely cared and it was so nice to see that from someone else.

“Just… moving here has been a big change for me, that’s all. I’m still adjusting I guess.” While that part was true, you weren’t going to tell him that you left to think about him and to sort out what you were feeling. As you spoke, Ethan couldnt help but take in how beautiful you looked. Your cheeks rosy from the cold, your hair swaying from the breeze. He wished he could have taken a picture because to him it really was a beautiful view.

“It might take some time. I remember when Gray and I moved here it took us a while to figure out everything.”

“Where did you move from? If you dont mind me asking,” When you turned to face him, he seemed shocked.

“You really don’t know who we are, do you?” When you shook your head, he couldnt really believe it. It had been a long time since he met someone who didn’t know what he and his brother did and it was refreshing. There was no already formed picture of him in your head that he had to live up to. He was getting to start new with someone.

“We make videos, like James just not with makeup.”

“Oh,” you didn’t think James was going to introduce you to those friends. You knew he had a few youtube friends but you never thought you would meet them. You were just a friend from home afterall.

“Well, that’s cool, but you never did answer my question.” While it was nice knowing they were influencers as well, you still wanted to know more about him.

“What?” He thought you would have asked more about what he did. It seemed almost like you didnt care about that side of him, but rather wanted to get to know him for him.

“Where are you from?”

“New Jersey, we moved about three years ago,”

“Three years ago? How old were you? Arent you younger than James?” If you remembered anything James told you about the boys it was they were younger than both of you.

“We left when we were fifteen and-”

“Oh my god that’s so young! I thought James left early but damn thats really young, wow.” You couldn’t believe they had been on their own for so long. Well, it wasnt that long, but knowing they were so young was crazy to you.

“My turn.” He turned to you even more.

“Sorry?”

“You asked me a question, so I wanna ask you a question.” You didnt know about this. As long as nothing came up from your past you would be fine. That wasn’t something you were ready to talk about with someone you just met, no matter how they made you feel.

“Okay, go for it,”

“Why did you move out here?” He looked curious, you werent about to be completely honest but you didnt want to lie to him either.

“Home just wasn’t home for me anymore.” He could tell you didn’t want to talk about it any further than that so he left it at that. He just met you and he didnt want to push you away. You two sat in silence for a few minutes before he noticed you were shivering. Getting up, he took off his coat and held it out for you.

“No, its okay, I’m fine.” You shook your head and did your best to stop your shivering.

“No offense, but youre not exactly a good liar.” If only you knew, you thought to yourself. “Just take it,” Getting up from the swing you reached out for it, only for him to hold it open so he could help you put it on. As you turned around, you felt his hand caress the back of your neck and you felt shivers go down your spine and you knew it wasnt from the cold. Once it was on, he couldnt help but smile at seeing how cozy you looked and he would be lying if he said that seeing you in his clothes had no effect on him.

“Do you want to go and maybe get some coffee or something?” While the two of you seemed to be enjoying each others presence, he didnt know if you would want to actually go somewhere else with him.

“I didn’t bring my wallet with me or anything-”

“My treat,” He could care less about paying for you. He just didn’t want to go back to the house with everyone else just yet. When you nodded your head, he began to walk back the way you came but you were suprised when he stopped by the curb. You saw him take some keys out of his pocket and you looked where you are only to find yourself next to a white jeep. He moved closer to it and opened up the door for you. You hadn’t even heard a car before he got there.

“Thank you,” You blushed and got in. As he closed the door behind you, you hoped the cold would make your blush blend in.

Rather than taking you to some starbucks like you had expected, he took you to a rather small coffee shop that had a very homey feel to it. There wasnt that many people in there and it took you by surprise when he took your hand in his and lead you to one of the back tables away from the door. After asking what you wanted, he left to go order your drinks leaving you thinking about what was happening. What was happening? You just met this guy, he built you a dresser, gave you his jacket and is now currently buying you a coffee.

When he came back, he slid your drink over to you and watched with a smile as you grabbed the mug to warm up your hands. He just met you and he already liked taking care of you. For a few minutes you two just sat together enjoying each others company. Just as he was about to tell you something, this girl came up to the table.

“I’m so sorry, I know you don’t like being bothered when youre eating but could I get a picture please?” This poor girl looked like she was scared he might actually say no.

“Sure, of course.”

“Do you want me to take it for you?” You asked her. While you still didn’t know much about what Ethan did with his brother, but apparently enough people knew about them to be asking for pictures. You thought it was kinda sweet.

“Yes please,” she handed her phone to you and both of you stood up from the table so you could take the picture. Once you finished, you handed it back to her and she thanked you both before leaving.

“You know you probably just made that girls entire week right? She looked so excited to meet you,” While you had been happy for this girl, Ethan seemed somewhat closed off.

“Hey, whats wrong?” Did you do something wrong?

“Nothing, just- are you almost done so we can go?” He kept looking around and wasnt really looking at you anymore. After a small “yeah” from you, he stood up and was already walking towards the door. Quickly getting up you followed him out only to find him already in the car.

The car ride was quiet and tense to say the least. While you two had been in silence before, then it was nice and comforting, now it felt like you were in the car with you mom after she just finished yelling at you.  

“Ethan? Did I do something?” You asked quietly, scared of what his answer would be.

“Fuck, I shouldnt have brought you with me. Everyone is gonna see me with you now.” He exhaled while running a hand through his hair.

Okay. That hurt a bit. Maybe you had been reading this entire situation wrong. Just because you were used to shitty guys, you shouldnt have assumed the first guy to treat you nicely had a thing for you. Feeling completely stupid and embarrassed you turned away to the window.

“Wait, I didnt mean it like that-” He tried to correct himself once he realized how bad that came out. But it was too late. You had just arrived back at the house and you were already out of the car before it was even completely parked. In his rush to catch up with you, he failed to notice the other car in the driveway that wasnt there when he left. You were already back inside looking for James, not noticing there was someone else in the house.

“James, give me my wallet. Now. Please.” He rushed to get up and get it from his room. He’s seen you upset and knew this was how you were when you were hurt. Coming back downstairs, he noticed you were now in Ethans jacket and couldnt help but smile. He gave it over to you and watched as you angrily took out some cash.

“Here. Give this back to your brother and tell him thanks for the coffee.” You shoved off the jacket and threw it at Grayson along with the money. You knew it wasnt his fault and you shouldnt have been rude to him, but you were upset.

“What did Ethan do? Ive been trying to call him but he wasnt picking up.” You heard a voice behind you that you didnt recognize. There was now a girl in the house that wasnt there before. Why couldnt James ever tell you when other people were coming over?

“Emma? I texted you I would go over later-” Ethan finally caught up with you and cut himself off when he saw you were also in the room.

“Y/N, let me explain-” You shook your head and kept your gaze down, not wanting anyone to see the tears beginning to form. You ran into your room and shut the door behind you. How could you actually think a guy that nice would like you? Ian and James shared a look, the younger brother following you up to your room to check on you. While he didnt know what was happening, he could tell you were upset and struggling.

“Dude, what did you do?” Grayson was confused. You two were gone for awhile and seeing you come back in his brothers jacket made him think that maybe the feelings his brother had were mutual. However, you barging into the house, throwing said jacket at him and refusing to look at him made him think something went wrong.

“I sort of said we shouldnt have been seen in public together..” He knew how much of an asshole it made him sound. But he didnt mean it like that. He still didnt know much about you but he knew once the fans found out he was with someone things would go downhill.

“YOU SAID WHAT?” James yelled from his spot on the couch. Both boys flinched at the sudden loudness and heard a crash from upstairs. Ethan moved to go upstairs and check on you, not knowing what happened but he was blocked by James.

“Oh no. You’ve done enough, thanks.”

“I didnt mean it come out like that, I swear! We were just out and someone came up for a picture and I dont know how long they were there before, okay? If they took pictures then theres going to be even more rumors going around. Emma and I cant even go out somewhere without Gray and people just assume we’re dating. You see how much hate Emma gets for being around us, I just didnt want that happening to her. I actually like her, like a lot. No offense, but Emma can take the hate, shes used to it and doesnt care at this point, but still I dont want her dealing with that. Theyre probably going to find out everything about her and she’s going to lose all privacy she had just because they saw her with me.”

James softened after Ethan finished explaining. He understood where he was coming from but it definitely could have been handled better. It also didnt help that you got hurt so easily after everything that has happened. He was about to speak again, when he saw you rush through the front door again, Ian following you down the stairs. Ian held up your wallet for James to see that you didnt take it with you, knowing James still had your keys.

“Where is she going? Is she okay?” About to follow you, once again, Ethan moved from his spot towards the door. Ian was quick to grab him the arm a little rougher than necessary and stopped him.

“That’s not a good idea, she needs to be alone right now.” While he did consider Ethan a friend, you were like a sister to him and knowing that Ethan was the reason you got set off upset him. Both Ian and James knew where you were going and knew you needed a moment so they werent worried.

The twins and Emma were still confused but chose to leave it. They knew how loyal James and Ian could be with those they cared about and knew they wouldnt be getting any more information out of either of them. Ethan, however still had another question.

“Emma, what are you even doing here?” He turned back to face her. He also barely realized that you hearing him tell her he would be going over tonight didnt help the situation.

“Well neither of you were answering your phone so I texted James and he said to just come over. I wanted to talk about the video for today before we actually film it. And I kinda wanted to meet her, James had told me she finally moved in and I thought it could be nice having another girl around.” While she did feel a little bit bad that her being there made the situation worse, it wasn’t her fault.

“You can meet her another time, but I think its better if you all leave right now. Not trying to kick you out, but this is her house too and she should be able to come home not worrying about having to deal with something she doesnt want to.” James wanted this day to be over. Things had been going so well with everyone and now he was just exhausted.

A few hours later you came back to a quiet house. The jeep and other car were missing so you could only assume everyone else left already. You knew James would want to talk about what happened today so you went to get changed. If you were going to be getting emotional you would rather do it in some sweatpants rather than skinny jeans you could hardly move in. Once you changed, you headed over to James room.

“Let’s talk, kitty. What happened?” He moved over so you could get under the blankets with him. You two had always been close before the move and nothing had changed.

“I dont know. I just, it was a bit much for one day. And I know I just met him and hes your friend, but I just thought he liked me, ya know? When we were talking alone earlier, it felt normal. It felt safe and it was nice. You know how long its been since any guy has treated me like a regular person. He gave me his jacket at the park, he even bought me a coffee and he was so sweet to this girl at the shop.” He watched as you talked about Ethan with a smile on your face.

“I dont know what happened though. Did I say something wrong? Everything was going so good between us then all of a sudden he couldnt wait to leave, he didnt even wait for me and was in the car before I got out of there. He didn’t say a single thing to me the whole ride back other than that he shouldnt have taken me with him, and that hurt. It reminded me of being back home how no guy would want to be seen with me after…. you know, and then coming back here and seeing he has a girlfriend made me feel so stupid. I should have known just because he was nice to me, that didnt mean anything it just meant he wasnt an asshole.” You signed and laid down next to your best friend. It felt nice getting it all out.

“Not that I dont trust you babe, but you didnt-”

“No, no, god no. I promised I wouldnt and I’m doing better, I really am. I just met up with someone to talk and make sure everything stayed on track for me. I would have told you if I did.” You didn’t want to worry your friend about that. You made a promise when he let you move in with him and you werent about to break it.

“Okay, good. I, we, worry about you sometimes.” He moved closer to you and thats how you ended up with your head basically on his lap. “Can I tell you something?” You nodded your head as he played with your hair.

“He does like you, you know. Ethan is, mmm not good, with expressing his emotions that well. He’s doing his best. And he and Emma aren’t dating by the way. Just friends, theyre too similar. If they were left alone for too long they would annoy each other to death. And he told me about what he said and babe, he didnt mean it like that. It sounded bad yes, but he meant well.” Sitting up, you leaned on your arm to look at James as he spoke.

“So him and Grayson have a pretty big fan base. Theyre used to the attention and sadly the lack of privacy. Theyre used to people taking sneaky pictures of them and when those pictures get out people like to start rumors. Everyone literally thinks he’s been dating Emma in secret for the past few months because they went shopping together and someone took a picture of them. Since then, Emma has gotten so much hate from their fans saying horrible things about her. All over a few pictures. Emma literally does not care about it, but he just didnt want that happening to you. It’s made him a little paranoid. He didnt want pictures of you two together getting out and people saying things about you because he cares about you. I dont know why, considering youre so annoying and forced him make your furniture.”

“Shut up! You’re the one invited them without telling me,” you smacked his arm, satisfied when he let out a small “ow.”

“Really though, you should talk to him. Or let him talk to you because I dont know what went on when you two were alone, but that boy is gone. He was ready to follow you out that door again when you left. And let me tell you sister, when you’ve got one of the Dolan’s after you, you dont pass down that opportunity. If he was coming after me, I would gladly let him-”

“And I’m gonna stop you right there sis, I get the picture. Thanks for putting that in my head.” You cringed and shook your head to get that image out of your head.

“I’m just saying-”

“No, nope I get it. Good talk James, I’m glad we get to share these special moments together but thats enough for the day.” Laughing, you got out of the bed and started to make your way back to your room. Just as you reached the door, you stopped and turned around.

“James?” He looked up for you to continue.

“Could you give me his number?”

A/N: part 4 will be out soon... any ideas on what shes hiding?