#GAH sorry for the wait!! life really beat my ass for a hot minute

[frostfall-matches]

[ matchmaking... ]

@chryaelous : [ match report ready ]

your match is…

✦ Malleus Draconia

-> [ Your warmer, friendly demeanor really helps break the ice between you two. ] It’s clear that you’re not the type to judge, that you’d prefer to meet people at their level in order to make them comfortable and get to know them. While you might be a touch hesitant and shy in his presence initially, you don’t regard Malleus with the same fear or uneasiness that most of your classmates do, and that is so important to him. You’re a warm ray of sunshine in his life! Malleus isn’t a particularly sad or pessimistic individual, just… pensive, calm, and admittedly quite lonely. He does have things that he enjoys in his life, and he’s quite pleasant and level-headed - but his social circle is rather limited, with most fearing him and drawing back when he tries to reach out.

-> [ He insists you join the gargoyle research club! ] With research being a huge passion of yours, he is absolutely sure that your skills will be put to great use in his club. (Besides, it’s a good way for you two to spend time together during school hours). You have a wide range of interests anyway, but thankfully gargoyles are likely to fall within the range of your preferred subjects - they’re works of art, with a distinctive purpose in architecture. Malleus would be eager to finally have someone in his club and actually interested in the subject since he’d be able to have substantial conversations about this interest of his.

-> [ As one who appreciates the arts, Malleus is very supportive of your artistic hobbies. ] Whether it be visual or musical! When it comes to photography in particular, he’s quite interested to see what you can do. Given that he isn’t the biggest fan of technology, and what he’s used to in terms of technology is very different from what you’re used to, the ins and outs of photography are quite new to him. But he loves to see your work! On another note, he also definitely understands not wanting to pursue the arts as a career despite your interest and love for them - most people have many different passions and skills, and it’s practical to consider your options and future.

-> [ He would love to watch documentaries with you. ] Considering your respective schedules at NRC and Malleus’s tendency to wander off and lose track of time, your documentary dates most often happen on the weekends late in the evenings when you two can get a bit of privacy (and peace and quiet). It’s really nice all around - it’s a very relaxed, comfortable atmosphere and you’ll probably have snacks on hand. It’s low-key enough that you two will often drift between paying attention to the documentary to talking about your thoughts on it (and some chit-chat about the events of your days as well).

-> [ Malleus is 100% in agreement with your preferred dates. ] He likes calm, relaxing, one-on-one dates. Not that he wouldn’t be willing to have the occasional date somewhere busy and crowded like an amusement park - he just very much prefers quieter environments where he can really focus on you. Stargazing with him? Inevitable. You two probably stargazed together even when you two were just friends - it just becomes all the more romantic when you do start dating. However, he’s not really one for sunbathing and having picnics on bright, sunny days… but if it were overcast, or you knew a really good spot with shade? Absolutely!

-> [ He finds your sleepiness to be quite endearing. ] Honestly, it reminds him a lot of Silver. Thankfully, you’re not going to just pass out literally walking or standing, meaning that you’ll be snoozing in slightly more appropriate places (or at least safer places). It almost becomes like a game to Malleus who starts to search for you whenever he can’t seem to find you. He’s quick to notice any trends of where you prefer to take your naps. The funny thing is, most of the time he won’t bother to wake you up - he’ll just sit there quietly with you until you wake up on your own, unless there’s something pressing that needs your attention.

-> [ Your strong attachment to your previous world, your previous life, is something very bittersweet when it comes to your relationship with Malleus. ] He understands the sentiment well, knowing it would be difficult on him if he were suddenly and forcibly separated from his loved ones, placed in a world that is completely different to what he was used to. His heart hurts whenever he sees you working tirelessly trying to find a way back home, the stress weighing heavy on your shoulders. Malleus knows he can’t force you to stay, but there’s a part of him that really hopes you decide to stay in Twisted Wonderland, with him and all the friends you’ve made there.

[thegreatwhiteferret]

When I Think About You I Touch Myself

Summary: Richie catches Eddie masturbating in the Boys locker room showers, he thinks it's extremely hot, and the Eddie moans out his name.

A/N: For the Anon who requested Richie catching Eddie masturbating in the locker room shower. I hope you like it!!! 💖

NSFW Under the Cut...

Eddie has track practice everyday after school. He absolutely loves running, it makes him feel free. There was a time when everyone saw Little Eddie Kaspbrak as being weak, and Eddie enjoys proving all of those motherfuckers wrong when he dominates in his meets. He’s a hometown hero, winning a state title as a freshman, and every year after. Yes, Eddie loves running.

Despite this love, there is one part of track season that Eddie absolutely despises...the humiliation of public showering. There are many reasons why Eddie loathes showering in the locker room, but most of them revolve around being bullied by the other boys. Eddie is still smaller than most of the boys in his grade, hell in the whole damn school. He had grown a little here and there, but had never managed a full on growth spurt like his friends. As it stood he was only an inch or two taller than Bev. He was also gay. He had been outed last year. He had been hanging out with a guy from his sociology class for a while, and Eddie misread the signs. When Eddie finally made a move, the guy was disgusted and called him a perverted fag. If that wasn’t bad enough, he went around and told the whole damn school. Now he had homophobic slurs thrown at him all day long. His coach had banned them at practice, but deemed everything else ‘locker room talk’. This allowed the other boys could harass him in the shower, where he couldn’t fight back.

Eddie lived in constant fear that he would be jumped in the shower. It had happened once already, and Eddie couldn’t handle the anxiety of leaving himself vulnerable for another attack. No. He wouldn’t do it.

This meant that Eddie would purposefully wait out the other guys. He would run a few extra laps, talk to his coach about training techniques, or stretch himself out. Anything to waste time until the locker room cleared out.

Today was no different than Eddie’s usual schedule. By the time he’s done with his cool down, the locker room is empty, and Eddie strips down, grabs a towel, and heads to the showers. He lets the warm water cascade over his body, giving into the soothing feelings and letting the feeling of relief seep throughout his body. Eddie’s mind feels clear.

He rubs the soap in on his chest, and can feel a pleasant tingle coming from his lower half. He lets his hand wander downward, barely gracing his thigh, teasing himself. He finally relents and grabs the base of his cock loosely, moaning as he feels just how hard he could be by letting his mind be free. He strokes up and down a few times lazily, and an image pops into his mind that has him finding more motivation in his actions.

He imagines running his hands through those dark curls, pulling lightly and making the other boy moan, then seizing the opportunity to tangle their tongues together in a heated kiss. Imagines those full lips working on his neck, sucking marks that would last long after their encounter, finally finding a way to keep that mouth of his from ruining things. They’d make out until they were both panting and then Eddie would get down on his knees like the good little slut that he is and let his face be fucked.

Eddie is stroking harder, flicking his wrist, and teasing his slit with his thumb every couple of strokes. He’s painfully hard, and little groans and whines are escaping his lips. Eddie is in no rush, he let’s his pleasure build.

Richie is walking down the hallway after his Robotics Club meeting ran late when he hears a weird sound come out of the boys locker room. He cocks his head to the side and stops in his tracks, then he hears the sound again. He quietly opens the door and slips in, trying to find the source of the sound. He turns the corner, and that’s when he sees it. His best friend is jerking himself off in the shower. Eyelashes wet and pressed to his cheeks, mouth open in a small ‘o’ and the most heavenly of sounds tumbling out. Richie is already getting hard in his pants. He knows that he should leave, should let Eddie have his privacy, but his hand is slipping down into his own pants and palming at his growing erection.

Eddie’s fantasy progresses and now he’s having his ass licked open, firm tongue circling his hole before plunging in. Eddie slips one of his hand behind him to his ass and gently pushes one finger in, slowing his other hand down. He begins to thrust his finger in, and moans out. He pushes another finger in and starts scissoring them, working himself open. He strokes his cock in time with the thrusts of his fingers. His fingers find his prostate and he’s crying out again. His dream partner start mercilessly teasing the bud. He moans out, encouraging him to continue.

“Fuck, yes, Richie. Ah uhhh huh, fuck keep going!” He continues, not realizing that he has an audience. Richie freezes. Did Eddie just say his name? Richie almost comes in his pants right then and there, but now he feels guilty. He spied on Eddie in a private moment and invaded his personal time and thoughts by staying. He summons all of his mental strength to remove his hand from his pants and turns to leave, but in his haste he trips over a random towel on the floor and faceplants right onto the tile of the floor of the shower, only a few feet away from Eddie.

Eddie is pulled out of his fantasy when he hears a crash. His eyes fly open and settle on the mess of a boy in front of him. He shrieks, and pulls his fingers out of his ass too quickly and scrambles to cover his lower half with his towel. He shuts the water off too.

“WHAT THE FUCK, RICHIE?” Eddie screams, “What did you see? Why are you fucking in here?” Eddie is trying to seem tough, but he is falling apart inside. His best friend who he has been crushing on forever just witnessed him masturbating in the locker room shower and OH GOD...what if he knew that Eddie was thinking about him?

“H...Hi Eds.” Richie stumbles getting to his feet. He is blushing. Nervous about being caught. He tries to cover his hard on, but it’s pretty impossible at this point. “I’m sorry. I was walking down the hallway and I heard something and I came to check it out...I should have left immediately…”

“What do you mean that you should have left immediately??? How long were you watching???” Eddie is down right panicking, pacing back and forth slightly.

“Only a few minutes, Eddie. I’m sorry. I was going to leave, but you were so hot, and then you moaned my name...”

“I what?” Eddie chokes out, face beat red. So not only had Richie witnessed him jerking himself off while he fucked himself with his fingers, but he also heard him moan his name? Could his life get any worse? Richie ducks his head slightly, and Eddie knows that he really didn’t mean to invade his privacy. “I...I’m sorry Richie, I know you probably think that… I’m sure you’re disgusted with, with me doing that while thinking about you…” Eddie is crying now, tears flowing freely, he couldn’t control them even if he tried.

“Whoa. Hold on there Eds.” Richie comes forward and grips the sides of Eddie’s face, making him meet his eyes. “I am not disgusted. Flattered? Absolutely. Turned on more than I’ve ever been in my whole life? HELL YES. Eddie, you are perfect. I can’t believe that I’m lucky enough to star in your fantasies.” Richie is blushing now, but he has to ask… “Is there any way that we could turn fantasy into reality?” Eddie’s eyes are wide, but he nods enthusiastically, and Richie surges forward to press a heated kiss to his lips. Eddie throws his arms around the other boy’s shoulders and lets himself get lost in the kiss.

Richie pulls back and slips his shirt over his head, and Eddie’s hands are on every inch of his newly exposed skin, then drift down to his belt. He looks up at Richie who nods, and Eddie undoes his belt buckle and unfastens his jeans, helping Richie wiggle them down his hips. Richie kicks them and his sneakers off his feet. He’s reaching for Eddie again, lips clashing together and tongues fighting for dominance. Richie’s hand reaches down and pulls the towel from around Eddie’s waist then lifts him up so he can wrap his legs around Richie’s waist. Eddie moans at the feeling of the cold tiles pressing into his back. Richie keeps kissing him, thrusting his clothed cock against the crease of Eddie’s ass.

Richie wants more, wants to make Eddie feel fucking amazing. He sets him back on the ground, and Eddie frowns until he’s being turned around and Richie is on his knees. He wastes no time and plunges his tongue into Eddie’s stretched hole. He alternates between sharp thrusts and gentle circling. Eddie is falling apart at the feeling of his tongue. Richie pulls back and admires the way that the smaller boy’s hole seems to wink at him, looking for something to clench itself around. Richie pushes one finger in and searches for the spot that will make Eddie see stars. He finds it easily.

“Ugh. Holy fuck, Rich. I’m gonna cum if you don’t stop. I want you inside of me. Gah. I can take it.” Eddie rambles out, and Richie freezes, fingers still deep inside of Eddie’s ass. “Shit. I mean, if you want to. I don’t want to push you…”

“You’re not! I just. Those words out of your mouth...I almost just came at the thought.” Richie presses a kiss to Eddie’s lower back and then he’s standing, stripping his boxers off. “Think you’re prepped enough to take me, Baby boy?” Eddie turns to answer and his eyes drift down to Richie’s cock. It’s long and solid, it’s not the thickest dick that Eddie’s ever seen,not like the ones in the porno magazines that he keeps under his pillow, but it’s still a lot to take in. Eddie’s pupils are blown wide with arousal, he needs that beautiful cock inside of him.

“Mhmm. I’m ready. I want you to fuck me.” Eddie turns back around and rests his hands on the tiled wall, sticking his ass out and presenting for the other boy. “Oh, and Richie, later, I want that glorious dick of yours shoved down my throat. I want your cum on my face, on my chest. I want everything.” Richie is moaning too and spreads Eddie’s cheeks with his hands.

He wishes desperately that he had lube. He wants this to be good for Eddie and soap and saliva are not really good alternatives to good old lube, but Richie works with what he has, coating his dick with Eddie’s shower gel and moves forward, pressing the tip of his head against Eddie’s hole, and begins to push in. Eddie cries out at the burn and stretch, but he loves it. Loves the feeling of Richie breaching his tight ass. Richie stops when his hips meet Eddie’s ass, giving the smaller boy time to adjust. It doesn’t take very long before Eddie is telling him to move.

He thrusts in and out, slowly at first, but Eddie is having none of it. He thrust backwards as Richie thrusts forward, pulling him even deeper inside.

“Yes, ugh, fuck me harder, Chee. I’m not going to break. Fuck me like you mean it!” Richie starts pounding away after that and angles Eddie’s hips just right so he’s hitting his prostate on every thrust. Eddie cries out in pleasure, and Richie wraps his hand around Eddie’s cock, pumping mercilessly with his hand to match his rough pounding thrusts. Eddie cums with a shout, and Richie has to hold him up so he doesn’t fall to the tile. Richie keeps fucking his abused hole, the contracting of Eddie’s walls around his cock brings him to the edge and he cums with a long groan. Eddie’s greedy ass milks every last drop out of him. He pulls out carefully and wraps his arms around Eddie.

“Eddie...that was...you’re amazing.” Richie breathes out and Eddie giggles. “But fuck, I’m never going to be able to even look at these showers without getting hard. How am I supposed to shower with the other guys?”

“Don’t.” Eddie shrugs, “Just come shower with me, I’m sure that I can make it worth your time.”

“Jesus Christ, Kaspbrak. That mouth is going to get you into some trouble.” Richie clucks his tongue and a wicked smirk comes across Eddie’s face.

“Looking forward to it, Trashmouth.”

[btswritingblog]

You Found Me In The Dark- Chapter 4

These chapters are coming fast since they're already prewritten. It's about to get more interesting so don't disappear yettttt.

:)

Taehyung isn't sure why he left Jungkook's apartment. Where else is he going to go? His parents live too far away for him to go back to them, and if he did that, his dad would just yell at him for not doing anything with his life. It's not like Taehyung doesn't have dreams. He's just...never gotten the chance to go after them.

If Taehyung goes back to his apartment, Yoongi will probably tell him to leave right when he got there. Living without him is going to be hell, that's for sure. Just as Taehyung goes to call Yoongi, his name pops up with a text.

'I want your things out by next week.'

Taehyung tightens his grip on his phone, trying to stop himself from throwing it into the river that he's crossing over. No, he isn't going to lose Yoongi this quickly. He can't. They've been through too much together for him to give up this easily. He's going to fix this, one way or another. Yoongi never even gave him time to explain the situation. Maybe he didn't want to hear it but there's more to it than Taehyung just fucking Jungkook for fun. Even if Yoongi doesn't believe him, it would make Taehyung feel a little better if he could at least tell him the truth before things become too far gone.

Taehyung starts running, something he hasn't done since high school track. It feels different because he's not in shape like he used to be. His lungs start to burn after 5 minutes and he can feel his throat constricting. Goddamn it, Taehyung really does hate fitness.

It's cold outside but with his blood pumping through his body, there's sweat running down his face. He's only a block away from his apartment when his legs start to give out. Taehyung curses himself for becoming so lazy. What if he had to run from a murderer? Would his body give up this quickly? Well, that would be a different story. When someone is about to kill you, your fight or flight mechanism kicks in and adrenaline takes over, masking the pain of you being out of shape.

Taehyung's head is starting to spin but he keeps running until he collapses onto the doorstep of his apartment complex. He pushes himself up and walks inside. People grabbing their mail in the lobby stop and turn to look at him. His breathing is ragged and uneven so they stare at him as if he was a sick cancer patient. Have they never seen someone out of breath from running? Jeez.

"Sorry," he wheezes, pushing through a group of girls that are crowded around the elevator. Taehyung punches the up button and almost screams when the doors open to reveal Yoongi's face. His eyes are...red and puffy. Has he been crying?

No fucking duh, Taehyung, you broke his heart.

Taehyung hasn't seen Yoongi cry since they were 10. They were building a sandcastle together when some older kids came over and knocked it down. Those hours spent perfecting the wobbly towers and adding decorations with sticks and rocks went to waste within a matter of seconds. Yoongi started bawling and Taehyung sat there, staring at his friends angry red face with messy snot running out of his nose. At that time, Taehyung wanted to laugh but now...he wants to cry too.

Yoongi must be surprised to see Taehyung too because his eyes widen and he quickly hits the button to shut the elevator doors.

"Wait!" Taehyung puts his arm out to stop the doors and steps inside. "Yoongi, please don't do this to me."

"Do what?" Yoongi asks, glaring at Taehyung as he presses himself into the corner which makes him look smaller than he is. "I'm doing what any normal person would do. Getting away from the person who can't seem to stay loyal." Yoongi tries to leave the elevator but Taehyung hits the 4th floor button. "Taehyung, stop!" Yoongi hits the ground floor.

"No! Let me explain myself."

Yoongi is still trying to get the doors to open even though it's moving up to the fourth floor. Taehyung almost shits himself when high-pitched beeps start coming from inside the elevator which sounds like a bomb is about to go off. Then it stops mid-floor.

Yoongi hit the fire button.

"Oh my god," Taehyung sighs.

"Didn't mean to do that..." Yoongi murmurs, looking down at his feet.

It takes a minute before the system realizes that there isn't actually a fire and the elevator starts up again. It stops at the 3rd floor before the 4th and when the doors open, Taehyung sees a face he hasn't seen in forever. His old best friend stands at the doors. He's about to step into the elevator until he sees Taehyung and instead steps back. Seokjin had been Tae's friend since elementary school, but in high school when he found out that Tae was gay, he broke the friendship off. He started spreading rumors about Taehyung even though he was already openly gay. But the rumors still hurt. Seokjin said that Taehyung was so gay that he watched him undress and even went as far as saying Tae tried to fuck him.

Yeah, no, he'd never sink that low.

"I'll wait for the next," Seokjin mumbles, stepping even further backwards. Taehyung doesn't answer and instead just watches the doors close on him.

"Who was that?" Yoongi asks.

"You don't remember him? Seokjin?"

Yoongi inhales, "Shit, that was him? Damn...he looks different."

"Still looks like an asshole to me," Taehyung murmurs.

"The only asshole here is you, Taehyung."

Ouch.

Taehyung flinches at Yoongi's hostility but shakes it off. "Yeah, I deserve that." Yoongi then turns and slaps Taehyung across the face. He rubs at the stinging skin as Yoongi turns towards the opening elevator doors. "Okay, I guess I deserved that, too." Taehyung trails behind Yoongi to the apartment and when Yoongi unlocks it, he tries to shut it on Taehyung. "Yoongs...c'mon." Taehyung knows that nickname makes Yoongi become emotionally vulnerable, so he isn't surprised when he feels the hold on the door weaken.

Yoongi steps aside and lets Taehyung come in without anymore protest.

"Yoongi, I am so sorry," Taehyung starts.

"Sorry doesn't fix this, Taehyung," Yoongi practically shouts, pointing at his chest. Probably gesturing to his broken heart.

Taehyung bites his lip, "I know, and-"

"Yeah yeah, you're sorry. I've heard that enough."

"Yoongi, you never even let me explain myself."

Yoongi walks over and sits down on the couch. "Humor me." Taehyung wants to sit down next to him and just wrap his arms around him like he used to but now...it just isn't right. Not when Yoongi is this furious with him.

"I only met Jungkook a week ago...at work."

Yoongi scoffs, "Wow, that's...classic."

"Gah, please stop talking and listen! It wasn't like 'oh yeah you look good lets fuck' I mean, he literally pointed a gun to my head."

Yoongi's eyes widen, "Wait, what?"

Taehyung nods, "Yeah! He was going to take my money. All the tips I made."

"So...you fucked him instead? You should've just given him the money."

"No, he made a move on me first. And...to be honest, I just...couldn't stop him."

"Why not?"

Should he tell him the truth? That he was turned on by Jungkook and just couldn't say no? No, Taehyung has had enough with lying to Yoongi.

Taehyung waves his hand in front of him, "Psha, he had a gun!"

"Did you at least think of me?" Yoongi asks quietly.

"What?"

That question came out of the blue but...it is a valid question.

Yoongi leans forward, "Did you think of me? Like...about how you had a boyfriend that loves you deeply waiting for you at home?"

"Y-Yes, I did. I thought of you first and then I just...panicked. I think I panicked to the point where I didn't know what to do. I just went vulnerable. Plus, Jungkook provoked me in a way that I couldn't refuse."

Yoongi laughs softly, "Did he start kissing your neck?"

God, he knows him too well. But Taehyung expected this from him since they've been together for so long.

"Heh...yeah. But, the point is, I didn't want it. I didn't pursue him first," Taehyung says as he starts to pace the room.

"But you didn't say no. You didn't stop him when you could have." Taehyung turns to look at Yoongi and the hurt in his eyes is visible. It makes Taehyung want to shut his mouth and stop talking for the rest of his life.

"I...I know, and that's why I've felt so guilty. I could have done something but I didn't. I can't stop beating myself up for it. I...I never wanted to hurt you, Yoongi. It's always been my plan to make you as happy as possible. Obviously I'm not good at that."

Yoongi stares at Taehyung, waiting for him to say more, but when there's nothing left to say, Yoongi sighs loudly.

"Taehyung."

Taehyung snaps his head up and meets Yoongi's sad eyes. "Yes?"

"There's...nothing you can do to fix this. It's hard to fix a broken heart and broken trust," Yoongi tells him, spinning a loose string from the couch around his finger. "It's like a broken plate. You can try to glue the pieces back together, but you'll always be able to see the cracks. Cracks from your mistakes."

Whatever quote Yoongi just pulled out of his ass is stabbing Taehyung in the heart. "Y-Yoongi, I'm sorry. I'd do anything to take it back." A hot tear runs down his face but he doesn't move to brush it away. They never liked seeing each other cry. It's an automatic movement to just go and hug them, so Yoongi moves to get up but stops himself.

"Taehyung, I think it would be best if you left."

He turns towards the door, "I have nowhere to go! What...what am I going to do without you?"

"You have Jungkook now."

"You really thought I'd keep him in my life after this? No! I erased him from everything."

"So...we'll never see him again?"

Taehyung shakes his head vigorously, "No, never again."

"...shame."

Taehyung narrows his eyes at Yoongi because he feels as if he didn't hear him right. Did he really just say what he thinks he said? "I'm sorry, what?"

Yoongi stands up and heads towards the bedroom, "It's a shame. He was cute."

"WHAT?" Taehyung chokes.

"Jungkook. He's good looking, I'll admit that. I guess you do have a good taste in men."

"Yoongi...why are you suddenly acting like this? I thought you hated him after what happened?"

Yoongi smirks, "I do." Taehyung is so bewildered by Yoongi's sudden change of behavior that he doesn't stop him when he closes the door. He really doesn't know how to respond to any of this.

Taehyung stands there, listening to the sounds of Yoongi's movement and the familiar sound of the bed springs creaking when he lays down. Yep...those creaky bed springs. How could Taehyung forget the sound when he hears it every time he sleeps and when him and Yoongi fuck. It's like music to his ears. All Taehyung wants is to go lay down next to Yoongi and feel the warmth of his body against his. The temptation is hard to ignore but Taehyung respects Yoongi's boundaries. He's lucky that Yoongi didn't kick him out to sleep in the hall.

So, Taehyung grabs a blanket from the hall closet and curls up on the couch. It takes him a long time to fall asleep. His brain keeps replaying Yoongi's words in his head, saying how Jungkook is cute and shit. That throws Taehyung off more than anything. He thought Yoongi wanted to beat the living shit out of Jungkook and wished he'd fall off the face of the earth. But calling him cute? What is Yoongi thinking? Taehyung has known him for so long yet he's not sure what's going through his lover's mind right now. Taehyung flips around and shoves his face into the couch cushion, and he's pretty sure that the faint smell of Yoongi puts him to sleep.

~

Taehyung wakes up to the sound of clanging dishes and running water. He glances up and spots Yoongi at the sink through his tired eyes. One thing that Taehyung can see clearly despite his blurry eyesight is that Yoongi isn’t wearing a shirt. Taehyung rubs his eyes to clear his field of view to watch Yoongi's subtle movements. Taehyung can tell he’s trying to be quiet as he washes the dishes and will go still when two glasses hit together. Obviously he doesn’t want to wake Taehyung up but it’s a little too late for that. Taehyung stares at Yoongi’s shoulders, watching intently as each muscle tenses or relaxes with each movement he makes. God, Yoongi is a work of art to Taehyung and it hurts to think that others think differently.

When Yoongi suddenly turns and sees Taehyung staring at him, he almost drops the plate he’s holding, “Shit, sorry, I thought you were still sleeping.”

“Not anymore.”

Yoongi nods at him as his eyes roam around the room. Taehyung isn’t sure what Yoongi wants him to say, if anything at all, so he stays quiet and after a minute, Yoongi turns back to finish doing the dishes.

“So, how’d you sleep?” Yoongi inquires, putting a bowl on the rack to dry.

“Uhm, fine I guess,” Taehyung rubs at the back of his neck which hurts like a bitch. This couch is comfy to sit on but sleeping on it is a different story. “This couch isn’t as good as it used to be.”

Yoongi chuckles softly but it seems forced, “Yeah, I know.”

Taehyung sits up and continues to watch Yoongi clean up. He dries the counter off with a towel from where he splashed water and he eyes his handiwork.

“Usually I do the dishes,” Taehyung says, getting up to walk towards the fridge. When he opens it, he's greeted with with a few condiments and a couple water bottles. He grabs a water and closes the fridge with a sigh, “Still need to go grocery shopping. Totally forgot about that. Fuck, why am I so forgetful? Yoongi, can you start reminding me to-”

“Taehyung.”

He shuts his mouth and looks at Yoongi, meeting his eyes, but he isn’t even looking at Taehyung. “Yeah?”

Yoongi sighs, “I need proof.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes. Proof of what? This question is so out of the blue that he just stares like an idiot.

“Proof that Jungkook really did point a gun at you.”

“Wait, are you serious? You think I’d lie about that?”

“I’m not even sure anymore, Tae! How can I trust your words when you cheated on me?” Yoongi puts his hands on the counter and finally meets Taehyung’s eyes. “Please? For me?”

He did make a good point. Yoongi really didn't have any reason to trust Taehyung.

Taehyung sighs, “I...Maybe the bar has cameras outside of it, I’m not sure if they do. I guess, come to work with me later and we can look.”

Yoongi nods and gives Taehyung a small smile, “Thank you.”

Later that night, Taehyung is walking with Yoongi to work and surprisingly, Yoongi is holding his hand. Is he actually starting to forgive Taehyung? No, he made it clear earlier that he’s still upset, but he wanted to see proof to know that Taehyung wasn’t just making up some stupid sob story. But it still feels good to know that maybe there is some hope for them.

“I don’t know, Jungkook just doesn’t look like the type of guy to pull a gun out on someone, even if they pulled one on him first,” Yoongi explained earlier. Taehyung put a hand to his forehead and sighed heavily. He wasn’t interested in arguing with Yoongi on this. Taehyung couldn’t help that Jungkook looked like a young boy who just wanted love and respect. ...is that what he actually wants?

The music from the bar can be heard at least a block away and Taehyung feels himself falling back into his ‘bartender’ attitude. The attitude that speaks as ‘here is your drink, shut the fuck up, tip me and don’t you dare touch me’. Yoongi has never seen him at work so Taehyung is a little worried about what he might think of this other side of him. It isn't anything scandalous or dirty but it's a personality that takes getting used to. Taehyung had to get used to it himself.

“Okay, the security system is behind the bar so...just follow me,” Taehyung tells Yoongi outside of the bar. A couple people stumble out, laughing and screeching. Fucking drunks. Yoongi isn’t disgusted by them, he just laughs at their inebriated state. “If anyone touches you, let me know, I’ll pun-”

“I can take care of myself, Taehyung.” Yoongi pushes ahead of him and walks in, heading straight towards the bar. Although he’s kind of small, people seem to step out of his way when he walks past them. Oh yeah...Yoongi has that ‘i’m going to kill you’ resting bitch face that makes people around him tense up and back away. It’s been awhile since they’ve been out together so Taehyung forgot about that.

Taehyung follows him to the bar, ducking under the counter door and heading to the computer on the side of the bar. Yoongi stares at the array of alcohol that is set on the shelves in perfect order. It’s like a trophy case for drinkers, basically.

“Hey! Can I get a-”

“Shut up, I’m not even clocked in yet,” Taehyung tells the customer. The guys doesn’t put up a fight, he just meanders away to the other bartender, Namjoon.

“What’s he doing back here?” Namjoon asks Taehyung, drying out a glass for a rum and coke.

“I need to look at the security footage.”

“That didn’t answer my question, Taehyung,” he says, pouring a bit of rum into the glass and topping it off with coke and a small black straw.

“He fucked another guy because he put a gun to his head,” Yoongi answers.

Namjoon chokes and almost spills the drink as he hands it to the customer, “You did WHAT?”

Taehyung just shakes his head and starts typing into the computer to bring up the recordings from last weekend. “You heard what he said.” Namjoon pats Taehyung on the back and walks away to tend to the other bar patrons.

“Ah, here.” Taehyung finds the recordings from that night and he immediately spots himself walking out the front door, planning to go home, but things went wrong from there really quickly. He switches to the camera placed outside the bar and watches his dumb self look back and forth, which is when he decided to take a shortcut through that stupid alley.

“What are you looking for? Wait, why did you go in the alley? Are you stupid?”

EXACTLY.

“I guess so,” Taehyung mutters, clicking to another camera which is completely dark. “Wait, where is this one?” In the corner of the screen it read ‘Alley 2; 23:26 10/16/2017’ “Huh, I guess they do have a camera in the alley.”

“People get mugged in alleys a lot,” Yoongi says.

Yeah, obviously.

Taehyung turns to look over at him slowly, “Then why didn't you believe me?”

“Usually you don't fuck the guy who tries to mug you.” Yoongi’s sarcasm is starting to get on Tae’s nerves but he focuses on the security footage instead. He can barely seem himself enter the alley but the outline of a body is there. Taehyung zooms in when he starts to hear faint voices and the camera adjusts to a clearer view, showing Jungkook hold a gun up to the back of Taehyung’s head.

“See!!” He points to the screen and Yoongi leans closer, watching as Jungkook smacks Taehyung with the back of it.

“Ouch,” Yoongi mumbles.

Taehyung can almost still feel the pain from that bash. Did his head start bleeding from that? He doesn't remember.

“Okay so there, there's the proof.” Taehyung starts to close out of the recording but Yoongi stops him.

“Hold on, wait a minute.”

Taehyung tries to ask Yoongi what he's doing but Namjoon yells for him from across the bar. “Shit, I'll be right back.” Yoongi stays, watching the scene on the recording. It's gotten to the part where Jungkook pushed Taehyung against the wall and started to make out with him.

“Vodka? A glass? No, we do it in shots. What? Are you trying to kill yourself? ...whatever, man, go crazy.” Taehyung pours the man a glass of vodka and quickly heads back over to Yoongi. “Okay so-” Taehyung sees Yoongi still watching the recording and by this point Jungkook is kissing down Taehyung’s neck and he's moaning like an idiot. “Fuck, why are you still watching this?” Yoongi doesn't respond or stop Taehyung when he shuts the recording off. He instead shuffles in place, looking uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, you didn't need to see that. That was probably hard for you to wat-” Taehyung stops speaking when he sees why Yoongi is suddenly acting weird. “Wait, are you turned on by that?” Taehyung points towards the screen where the recording was.

“Shut up,” Yoongi says. His hands try to cover the growing bulge in his pants but Taehyung already saw it.

“Why? Is that...hot to you?”

Yoongi suddenly grabs Taehyung's hand and pulls him out of the bar.

“Hey, where are you going?? You're on the clock!” Namjoon shouts.

“I don't know. Uh, I'll be right back!” Taehyung answers as Yoongi pushes him into the bathroom. “Okay, seriously what is up?”

Yoongi kisses Taehyung aggressively and out of pure surprise, Tae stumbles back and slams into the sink.

“Fuck,” he mumbles against Yoongi’s lips.

“You're such a whore, aren't you?”

Taehyung leans farther back against the sink as Yoongi moves to kiss down his jaw and neck. “W-what?”

“I have to admit, it's hot seeing you fall weak to another man. Kind of shows how pathetic you can be.”

Uh, is Yoongi trying to hurt Taehyung's feelings? If so, it's kind of working.

“Yoongi I-”

“No, shut up,” Yoongi snaps, looking up until Taehyung’s eyes, “Get on your knees.” Yoongi has never acted like this and to be honest, Taehyung doesn't want to provoke him more so he obeys. He's afraid that if he doesn't do this, it'll cut off the chance of him fixing things. Yoongi glares down at Taehyung, which makes him aware of what he wants him to do, obviously. Taehyung unbuttons Yoongi’s jeans but to Yoongi, he's being too slow so he does it himself. Like always, he isn't wearing underwear. How is that even comfortable?? Damn, his pants must be rubbing like a hot cheese grater.

Taehyung follows, moving to grasp Yoongi’s length in his hand. He presses his thumb against the slit that is already covered in precum and Yoongi groans. It echos against the empty bathroom walls but he doesn't seem to care, especially when Taehyung slips him into his mouth. Yoongi is extremely vocal during blowjobs but with anything else, he keeps quiet. Taehyung takes all of Yoongi into his mouth and works his tongue around when he pulls away. He keeps at this for a minute or two until Yoongi speaks.

“I have a proposition.” Taehyung stops sucking and glances up, but Yoongi isn't looking down at him. “I didn't tell you to stop,” he commands, thrusting hips forward. Taehyung grunt as he tries to hold back a gag and quickly wraps his mouth around Yoongi’s cock tighter. “Have you ever thought of...a, fuck, a relationship with more than one person?”

Taehyung fully stops this time and pulls Yoongi out of his mouth, “Wha?” He wipes a bit of slobber away from his mouth and continues to pump Yoongi to keep him satisfied as he talks.

“I was thinking,” Yoongi says, his voice starting to shake, “why don't we have him fool around with us?” Taehyung suddenly squeezes Yoongi’s dick too hard and Yoongi kicks Taehyung in the leg. “What the fuck?”

“WHAT THE FUCK TO YOU!”

“What? Maybe Jungkook would be interested?”

Taehyung let's go of Yoongi’s length and sits back on his heels, “Yoongi, no, are you seriously that crazy?”

“Crazy enough to make a deal with the man I'm in love with? Yes.”

“I...I want things to be the same as before…like this.”

Yoongi pulls up his jeans and heads towards the door, “Take it or leave it, Taehyung. Otherwise...we're through.”

Okay, that’s all for today. I just felt like posting a little extra because the first few chapters are boring lol 

What do you guys think so far? Like...does this suck? Idk, rereading it, I think it’s kind of cheesy and terrible, but I think like that with all my writing. 

-Tae

[squaredancing-weston]

para || Romancing the Cards

Time: Saturday night, 18 February 2017

Setting: Online

Summary: On the heels of Valentine’s Day, the staff decides to play up their less-than-romantic side with a new game of Cards Against Humanity…

Part 1b

Note: Yeah, the first Round was accidentally set to 15 Points for the win, so it was really long

[5:35:42 PM] <Brody> So Blaine-- how'd the grams go? [5:35:59 PM] <Brody> you said like $300? was that the final net? [5:36:13 PM] Finn wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [5:36:28 PM] <Blaine2> Pretty well. We ended up pulling in about 350! So a good little last minute push there! [5:36:52 PM] <Brody> that's great [5:36:59 PM] <Brody> How far's the goal then? [5:37:08 PM] Marley has joined the game. [5:37:19 PM] <Marley> (I swear i am seriously on) [5:37:22 PM] <Brody> You guys need to get one of those thermometers or something to put up in the cafeteria [5:37:26 PM] Kurt wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [5:38:08 PM] <Marley> Sorry about that.. Batsky decided she wanted to go crazy.; [5:38:10 PM] <Brody> Did we put any blanks in this deck? [5:38:45 PM] <Blaine2> I don't think so, no [5:38:48 PM] <Brody> lame [5:38:53 PM] <Brody> can we change that? [5:39:00 PM] <Brody> or do we have to start a new game? [5:39:04 PM] <Blaine2> I don't think you can until the next game [5:39:07 PM] <Brody> I mean next game, can we change it [5:39:24 PM] <Sebastian> Or we could start a new game now [5:39:34 PM] <Brody> because you're losing? [5:39:34 PM] Brittany was skipped this round for being idle for too long. [5:39:35 PM] <Kurt> Says the guy losing [5:39:53 PM] Marley wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [5:40:02 PM] <Marley> Wooo [5:40:03 PM] <Sebastian> It's not my fault these cards suck. [5:40:04 PM] <Kurt> Soon to be the guy in last place [5:40:23 PM] <Brody> probably the only thing in your life that does right now [5:40:25 PM] <Kurt> technically you are the "guy" in last place [5:40:56 PM] <Sebastian> I guess you're the girl in first place. First time for everything, eh, Kurt? [5:41:02 PM] Marley wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [5:41:03 PM] <Kurt> Yawn [5:41:09 PM] <Blaine2> I give up. [5:41:16 PM] <Kurt> You keep coming back to the same insults, Sebastian. Grow up. [5:41:36 PM] <Brody> Blaine, come on-- talk to me [5:41:40 PM] <Marley> Be nice, boys [5:41:51 PM] <Brody> I've got like half a dozen girls dying to know what the hell's going on with Prom [5:41:54 PM] <Sebastian> Says the person that wanted to go to the cinema with kids. [5:42:05 PM] <Brody> which is really annoying since I teach Ag [5:42:18 PM] <Finn> I agree with Marley. Be nice [5:42:28 PM] <Kurt> . . . I wanted to see the same film as some of my kids. Who invited me. I ended up not going, so shove it, Smythe [5:42:44 PM] <Blaine2> They've been toying around with a Rockstar theme, which could be fun, but there's still debate. [5:42:59 PM] <Blaine2> they need to figure it out soon though, we need to start planning and making decorating decisions [5:43:00 PM] <Brody> like the drink? [5:43:07 PM] <Sebastian> Clearly they felt sorry for you. [5:43:08 PM] <Kurt> I'm allowed to want to see a film, Sebastian. At least my students like my enough to invite me places. [5:43:08 PM] <Brody> kidding [5:43:10 PM] Brittany was skipped this round for being idle for too long. [5:43:19 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [5:43:24 PM] <Brody> Rockstar would be cool [5:43:32 PM] <Sebastian> Sure - at least the children like you enough. They're young. They'll learn. [5:43:34 PM] <Brody> I mean, more relevant if the game was still cool [5:44:09 PM] <Brody> but the concept always works out [5:44:15 PM] <Sebastian> ((I am not kidding - these cards legitimately suck lmfao - he's going to be such a sore loser)) [5:44:23 PM] <Brody> Seriously guys-- I will //pay// you to talk about something else [5:44:32 PM] <Brittany> Last time I did this, I got laid after. Is that gonna happen again? [5:44:33 PM] <Brody> (poor guy) [5:44:41 PM] <Kurt> So Brody what's next year's theme? [5:44:46 PM] <Brody> for what? [5:44:47 PM] <Kurt> You can't repeat [5:44:49 PM] <Kurt> birthday [5:44:50 PM] Finn wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [5:44:58 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [5:45:01 PM] <Brody> oh-- firstly-- I've been repeating that theme for three years now [5:45:06 PM] <Brody> it's a damned good theme [5:45:18 PM] <Marley> You've been over the hill since you were 29? [5:45:23 PM] <Brody> and b) not a clue. it was brought up that everyone's getting old [5:45:36 PM] <Brody> that's when I hit seniority, yeah [5:45:53 PM] <Kurt> what the heck it won't let me pick a second card.. [5:46:08 PM] <Sebastian> Hey, 29 is young. [5:46:08 PM] <Brody> no it did-- it just glitches sometimes [5:46:09 PM] <Kurt> Hmm nevermind it apparently worked but just looked like it didn't. [5:46:12 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [5:46:26 PM] <Marley> 29 is super young. I have 5 more years till I hit that! [5:46:27 PM] <Blaine2> I don't know, 29 seems pretty old to me, Bas. [5:46:29 PM] <Brody> ah, the good old TSA [5:46:59 PM] <Sebastian> No, no, 29 is the "hot older guy" category. 31 is the Old Age Pensioner category. [5:47:36 PM] <Brody> You're just upset because you're verging on Little Blue Pill category there, while I'm still up and running [5:47:40 PM] <Brittany> I'm confused. And bored. [5:47:55 PM] <Marley> You're almost there, Bas... [5:48:07 PM] <Brody> what do you want to talk about Britt? [5:48:10 PM] <Finn> Lol [5:48:11 PM] <Marley> I guess this is just prepping me for caring for you when you're old :P [5:48:16 PM] Finn wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [5:48:39 PM] <Sebastian> I'm perfectly functional. Finn's the one having problems with keeping it up. [5:48:44 PM] <Brody> I believe Brittany would like a Sex Story\ [5:48:49 PM] <Brody> is what she's saying? [5:48:53 PM] <Finn> What? [5:48:54 PM] <Brittany> No. [5:48:54 PM] <Marley> You mean one of Brody's stories? [5:48:58 PM] <Brittany> I don't want stories. [5:49:07 PM] <Brody> what do you want then girlie? [5:49:08 PM] <Finn> No I am not. Anyway...how would you know, eh? [5:49:11 PM] <Brody> gotta ask to get [5:49:22 PM] <Marley> I think she wants actual sex. [5:49:37 PM] <Sebastian> I mean, your date went wrong. Speaks for itself, really. [5:49:43 PM] <Brittany> See? Marley understands. Also I can't follow conversation. [5:49:57 PM] <Sebastian> Aw, Britt - come out with me tomorrow. [5:50:01 PM] <Blaine2> I'm there in that boat, too, Britt [5:50:05 PM] <Blaine2> ... [5:50:05 PM] <Marley> So am I [5:50:11 PM] <Blaine2> I didn't mean to actually send that [5:50:13 PM] <Finn> Yeah. That was my fault. But it was nothing to do with anything else [5:50:18 PM] <Brittany> Sure Seb! Anytime [5:50:33 PM] Sebastian was skipped this round for being idle for too long. [5:50:34 PM] <Sebastian> Blaine, we've talked about that. Offer's there. [5:50:34 PM] <Marley> Ohhh you should come over here, Britt. I mean I can't promise sex, but I can promise cookies and nails, and a movie. [5:50:58 PM] <Brittany> ...you sure you can't promise sex Marls? ;) hehe but yes! Girls night! [5:50:58 PM] <Sebastian> (gah, wouldn't let me pick) [5:51:20 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [5:51:35 PM] <Brittany> (lmao britt is losing hard) [5:51:40 PM] <Marley> I mean if you get me drunk enough, who knows? [5:51:47 PM] <Marley> OHHH I am beating Bas and I missed half the game! [5:51:52 PM] <Sebastian> (so is Bas lmao) [5:52:01 PM] <Sebastian> That's because you're cheating as usual. [5:52:04 PM] <Marley> Oh please [5:52:12 PM] <Blaine2> If I wasn't a little agitated, I may have taken you up on that Bas. [5:52:16 PM] <Marley> You're just jealous I am better than you at everything. [5:52:20 PM] <Blaine2> Give me a few hours, I may get there. [5:52:25 PM] <Finn> [Is anyone going to catch up with Brody? Lol] [5:52:30 PM] <Sebastian> Nothing like a good orgasm to calm you down. [5:52:37 PM] <Marley> (No) [5:52:39 PM] <Brittany> I agree! [5:52:49 PM] Blaine2 wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [5:52:49 PM] <Brittany> And I dunno Marley I wouldn't wanna take advantage of you [5:52:50 PM] <Marley> You're still recovering, Bas. [5:52:54 PM] <Kurt> good card, Blaine [5:52:57 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [5:53:06 PM] <Blaine2> Hey, thanks ;) [5:53:30 PM] <Brody> Bas- I just want you to know I saw these and thought of you [5:53:33 PM] <Blaine2> And probably not, Bas, but thanks for the offer [5:53:44 PM] <Marley> I was kidding! [5:54:06 PM] <Sebastian> It's always open, B. [5:54:23 PM] <Sebastian> Brodes, you're always thinking of me. Or my ass. Nothing new there. [5:54:33 PM] <Brody> haven't mentioned it once [5:54:42 PM] <Sebastian> Tonight. Yet. [5:54:48 PM] <Sebastian> Only a matter of time. [5:55:04 PM] <Brody> anyways, is Kurt even still here? [5:55:21 PM] <Marley> He played. It's waiting on Brittany [5:55:25 PM] <Blaine2> Can't say I'd blame him if he's not... [5:55:27 PM] Brittany was skipped this round for being idle for too long. [5:55:52 PM] <Kurt> I am, why? [5:55:54 PM] <Kurt> I miss something? [5:56:00 PM] <Brody> just looking for conversation [5:56:20 PM] <Marley> I am cold. [5:56:32 PM] <Kurt> Sorry-- wasn't a fan of some of the company and turned on This is Us to watch while playing [5:56:41 PM] <Brody> never seen it [5:56:43 PM] Marley wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [5:56:45 PM] <Brittany> I can bring big blankets Marley [5:56:51 PM] <Blaine2> Ohhh that reminds me that I need to watch this past weeks episode [5:56:52 PM] <Brody> Aw come on Bas [5:56:58 PM] <Brody> those were handmade for yuo [5:57:04 PM] <Brody> *you [5:57:11 PM] <Sebastian> Sweet. You shouldn't have. [5:57:36 PM] Error: You don't have that card. [5:58:39 PM] <Marley> Am I here? [5:58:41 PM] Hurry up! You have less than 10 seconds to decide, or you will be skipped. [5:58:51 PM] Brody was skipped this round for being idle for too long. [5:58:53 PM] <Blaine2> Yeah, Marls [5:58:56 PM] <Sebastian> I don't know, Marls - are you? [5:59:05 PM] Marley wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [5:59:11 PM] <Marley> Thanks, I wasn't sure. [5:59:18 PM] <Brody> crap-- I may have killed my game [5:59:31 PM] <Marley> Open it in a new tab [5:59:33 PM] <Marley> that is what I did [5:59:33 PM] <Brody> okay-- never mind [6:00:59 PM] <Brody> Okay, it's my birthday-- we need a story [6:01:07 PM] Sebastian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:01:18 PM] <Blaine2> I still haven't even heard one of your stories [6:01:30 PM] <Marley> Yay! Go Sebastian! [6:01:41 PM] <Brody> one of //mine//? [6:01:51 PM] <Sebastian> Thanks, Marls [6:01:52 PM] <Blaine2> Mhm, I haven't heard one [6:01:58 PM] <Brody> no wonder you don't have a favorite sex position... [6:02:08 PM] <Sebastian> Wow, Blaine, you're /asking/ this guy to tell you stories? [6:02:11 PM] <Brody> okay-- for my birthday, my son needs a good storub [6:02:14 PM] <Blaine2> .... [6:02:16 PM] <Brody> *story [6:02:25 PM] <Blaine2> Kurt I have a feeling you're about to learn a lot about one of your old teachers [6:02:34 PM] <Brittany> I can give you a sto...rub ;) [6:02:35 PM] <Marley> You should cover your ears, Kurt. [6:02:37 PM] <Brody> pick a topic any topic [6:02:47 PM] <Marley> Unicorns? [6:02:48 PM] <Brody> lmao [6:02:51 PM] <Brody> awesome Britt [6:02:54 PM] <Blaine2> Haha Brittany XD [6:03:05 PM] Blaine2 wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:03:09 PM] <Brody> which I guess is the topic then? [6:03:18 PM] <Brody> Oh man-- okay [6:03:19 PM] <Sebastian> Just keep furries out of it. Blaine doesn't wanna hear that shit. [6:03:32 PM] <Kurt> ... [6:03:35 PM] <Brody> seriously Bas> [6:03:44 PM] <Brittany> Make it sexy [6:03:44 PM] <Brody> keep your obsession with projecting off of me [6:03:49 PM] <Brody> save it for your dead guy [6:03:51 PM] <Brody> okay okay [6:04:13 PM] <Brody> so this one time, I was with this guy my first summer after college [6:04:23 PM] <Brody> and I was still getting used to whole...guy thing [6:04:54 PM] <Brody> so he takes me out to this club [6:05:21 PM] <Blaine2> Okay... [6:05:23 PM] <Kurt> (don't forget to pick, Brody!) [6:05:33 PM] <Sebastian> Brodes, before you get caught up in this weird sex fantasy of yours, pick a damn card. [6:05:36 PM] Kurt wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:05:43 PM] <Kurt> Thanks! :) Okay continue now [6:05:46 PM] <Brody> I was thinking [6:05:46 PM] <Sebastian> You picked wrong. [6:05:52 PM] <Brody> you guys chose shitty cards [6:05:59 PM] <Brody> it was between that and velcro [6:06:03 PM] <Sebastian> You were distracted. I forgive you. Carry on. [6:06:30 PM] <Brody> anyways-- it was my first gay bar [6:06:45 PM] <Kurt> d'aww [6:06:54 PM] <Marley> Ohhh those are fun [6:06:56 PM] <Brody> and it was very noisy and very crowded, and it got...kind of intense [6:07:23 PM] <Brody> like a fucking sauna and grinding up against a lot of guys in SF? [6:07:28 PM] <Kurt> define "intense" [6:07:29 PM] <Brody> yeah, a little intense [6:07:31 PM] <Kurt> ohhh [6:07:41 PM] <Brody> so I told him that it was getting kind of hot and I needed some air [6:07:44 PM] Brittany was skipped this round for being idle for too long. [6:07:57 PM] Marley wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:08:00 PM] <Brody> which apparently is code for "Hey let's go take this party outside" [6:08:05 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [6:08:09 PM] <Kurt> ohhh... [6:08:11 PM] <Kurt> yeah [6:08:20 PM] <Kurt> Depending on the guy, I could see that. [6:09:06 PM] <Brody> so we start heading outside, except legit the guy gets as far as the check in before he's on me like a cat [6:09:19 PM] <Brody> which, you know-- surprising, but a little awkward [6:09:28 PM] <Brody> because-- you know, still a little new at this [6:10:24 PM] <Brody> so I'm like kind of forgetting myself, because there's a twenty-one year old guy grinding up against me and pulling me into a coat closet [6:10:42 PM] Marley wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:10:50 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [6:10:51 PM] <Brody> and I swear-- we're just going like teenagers at this point [6:11:10 PM] <Brody> and then the freaking bouncer walks in [6:11:18 PM] <Kurt> ?! [6:11:31 PM] <Brody> because I learned that day that apparently I'm not that quiet when I'm turned on [6:11:40 PM] <Brody> I used to be, at some point [6:11:46 PM] <Brody> I swear I got away with a lot of shit [6:11:54 PM] <Kurt> With..girls... [6:12:03 PM] <Brody> but this was the exact moment I basically lost the ability to keep my voice down [6:12:09 PM] <Brody> at the time [6:12:12 PM] <Kurt> .... XD [6:12:24 PM] <Brody> I mean, it's not like I don't still have good sex with girls [6:12:51 PM] <Brody> just not...loud sex, apparently [6:12:58 PM] <Brody> it's just different-- I don't know [6:13:14 PM] <Kurt> Boring? [6:13:18 PM] <Blaine2> Wouldn't that almost imply that sex with guys is better, though? [6:13:21 PM] <Kurt> I mean.. I'd take loud as a good thing personally [6:13:27 PM] <Kurt> (Yeah! See Blaine gets it) [6:13:33 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:13:35 PM] <Brody> not necessarily [6:13:48 PM] <Brody> I mean, I dated Nat for a year and a half, and that sex was amazing [6:13:54 PM] <Brittany> That's only cause you haven't had sex with me, Brodes. I'd make you totally loud [6:13:55 PM] <Brody> girl had a great imagination [6:14:34 PM] <Brittany> (i really think i'm just geting shitty cards) [6:14:37 PM] <Brody> I think you'd make my head explode Britt [6:14:42 PM] <Blaine2> Daaaammmn Britt, get it [6:14:46 PM] <Brody> insert dirty joke here [6:14:54 PM] Kurt wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:15:08 PM] <Sebastian> (seriously I am too, but it makes for the hilarity of Bas being a sore loser) [6:15:31 PM] <Kurt> Pretty sure I have Brody to thank for almost all of my points at this point :P [6:15:35 PM] <Blaine2> My card is so true that I really need you to pick it Britt [6:15:40 PM] <Marley> (Hahhah I missed half the game too ;) [6:15:53 PM] <Kurt> Ohh these are good cards [6:16:05 PM] <Brody> Not wearing pants is the clear winner here [6:16:06 PM] <Brittany> I don't think any of you could handle me. [6:16:09 PM] <Sebastian> That;s cheating, Killer. You can't hint at what your card /is/. [6:16:20 PM] <Blaine2> Oh yeah, what's my card, Bas? [6:16:22 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:16:26 PM] <Blaine2> NO [6:16:28 PM] <Sebastian> The gays. [6:16:30 PM] <Blaine2> yes [6:16:30 PM] <Brody> YES!! [6:16:33 PM] <Marley> That one was mine :p [6:16:48 PM] <Brittany> But. Girls. Slo-mo vollyball [6:16:50 PM] <Blaine2> It was the gays that took my virginity [6:16:55 PM] <Kurt> Mine too [6:16:57 PM] <Sebastian> See? I know you. [6:17:02 PM] <Brittany> Mine too [6:17:06 PM] <Kurt> -shrugs- [6:17:08 PM] <Brody> no it wasn't [6:17:17 PM] <Brittany> He just didn't know he was gay [6:17:19 PM] <Kurt> Britt? [6:17:22 PM] <Kurt> Oh. [6:17:24 PM] <Brittany> Yes? [6:17:35 PM] <Brody> what he said [6:17:39 PM] <Kurt> It's nothing, sweetheart. [6:17:42 PM] <Blaine2> Well, yeah, Bas, I'd say you do [6:18:31 PM] <Brody> SB-- how many rounds does this game go? [6:18:35 PM] Brittany wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:18:42 PM] <Brittany> FINALLY [6:18:51 PM] <Sebastian> Up to 15 points. [6:18:56 PM] <Brody> crap-- who chose that? [6:18:57 PM] <Sebastian> Well done, Britt! [6:19:06 PM] <Brody> we're changing it down next round [6:19:45 PM] <Blaine2> Well for a while there I thought you were going to get to 15 pretty quick [6:19:59 PM] <Blaine2> Mine's true this round too lmao [6:20:00 PM] Error: It is not your turn to play a card. [6:20:00 PM] Brittany wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:20:08 PM] <Brody> yeah, I was left no choice on that one [6:20:10 PM] <Kurt> Well would you look at that [6:20:12 PM] <Kurt> hmmm [6:20:18 PM] <Sebastian> ((HAHAHA SEBASTIAN'S LAST)) [6:20:25 PM] <Kurt> everyone's got at least three points now! [6:20:26 PM] <Kurt> Oh wait [6:20:40 PM] <Marley> Haha [6:20:41 PM] <Blaine2> ((dammit kurt, that's fucking hilarious)) [6:21:01 PM] <Finn> Everyone except Seb [6:21:11 PM] <Brody> Yeah...that was kind of the joke Finn [6:21:12 PM] <Kurt> Well spotted, Finn [6:21:13 PM] <Sebastian> Wow Finn, you catch on fast. Well done. [6:21:29 PM] <Blaine2> Aww, Bas don't be a sore loser [6:21:31 PM] <Brody> Come on Bas-- it's not so bad [6:21:32 PM] <Kurt> Hey lay off, Sebastian. Finn's got double your score so you've got no room to talk. [6:21:51 PM] <Finn> Yeah...what Kurt said [6:22:19 PM] Marley wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:22:30 PM] <Marley> Yay me :D [6:22:57 PM] <Brody> God, I'm winning and I'm tired of this game [6:23:04 PM] <Sebastian> 1) Man, Kurt, you need to get over this obsession with me. There I was doing the favour of ignoring your little bitch fits. 2) Way to fight your own battle, Hudson. [6:23:11 PM] <Brody> like not the //game// obviously [6:23:15 PM] <Brody> but this particular one [6:23:36 PM] <Marley> I thought this was going to have like.. expansion packs (I guess this is more ooc but I am lazy) [6:23:41 PM] <Brody> Bas, come on man-- cool your jets [6:23:59 PM] <Brody> I mean, think of this as a slow immersion back to teaching [6:24:06 PM] <Finn> What would be the point in me repeating what Kurt said [6:24:09 PM] <Brody> where your kids are now watching documentaries [6:24:18 PM] <Brody> or I guess "documentaries" [6:24:29 PM] <Brody> Finn-- stop fanning the flames [6:24:29 PM] Brittany wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:24:39 PM] <Marley> Go Brittany! [6:24:41 PM] <Kurt> Everyone's got FOUR points now! [6:24:42 PM] <Kurt> :) [6:25:03 PM] <Brody> I have horrible nouns [6:25:10 PM] <Blaine2> Kurt, you stop fanning the flames too [6:25:17 PM] <Kurt> me too, throw away card [6:25:32 PM] <Kurt> And fine.. I'll admit that was a cheap shot. Sorry. [6:25:40 PM] <Sebastian> Saint Hummel finally getting into trouble? About time. [6:25:46 PM] <Marley> I have a lot of crappy cards I need to get rid of [6:26:00 PM] <Kurt> About time?! [6:26:06 PM] <Brody> Bas will never say sorry Kurt-- I apologize on my son's behalf, who will probably apologize on his behalf [6:26:25 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:26:27 PM] <Kurt> While appreciated, you know it doesn't work that way, Brody. [6:26:31 PM] <Blaine2> What do I need to apologize for?? [6:26:32 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [6:26:48 PM] <Brody> I figured you would, since he's your Evil Mentor [6:26:49 PM] <Sebastian> I don't need to apologise for shit. [6:27:06 PM] <Sebastian> Therefore Blaine doesn't need to apologise for shit. [6:27:21 PM] <Marley> Seriously you guys? [6:27:25 PM] <Brody> Hey Bas-- so how are the Nazis? [6:27:35 PM] <Brody> (looking to talk about anything else) [6:27:46 PM] <Brody> (my baby has poor phrasing) [6:28:06 PM] <Sebastian> Still suffering from getting punched in the face, apparently. [6:28:15 PM] <Blaine2> I mean, I obviously don't condone any of these, from anyone, but I'm also not going to shove words into other people's mouths, especially when I know they won't mean them [6:28:26 PM] <Blaine2> Okay, now I'm done. [6:28:36 PM] <Sebastian> Feel free to use my mouth for anything you want. [6:28:41 PM] <Kurt> gross [6:29:26 PM] Brittany wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:29:32 PM] <Brittany> I'm gonna use your mouth for brownies [6:29:33 PM] <Marley> Seriously, Sebastian? Its just a game. Stop being so snippy. [6:29:46 PM] <Sebastian> Offer wasn't open to you, Kurt. [6:29:48 PM] <Brittany> Shove them all in til you're quiet :P [6:30:03 PM] <Sebastian> Snippy? [6:30:09 PM] <Marley> YEs [6:30:12 PM] <Marley> You're being an asshole [6:30:15 PM] <Marley> Is that a better word? [6:30:35 PM] <Finn> I'm staying quiet now. [6:31:17 PM] <Brody> Lily says hi by the way [6:31:24 PM] Hurry up! You have less than 10 seconds to decide, or you will be skipped. [6:31:27 PM] <Marley> Oh? Hi Lily? [6:31:33 PM] Error: It is not your turn to play a card. [6:31:38 PM] <Sebastian> Send her to me ;) [6:31:49 PM] <Sebastian> Being an asshole how? [6:32:00 PM] <Sebastian> What did I say that was me being an asshole? [6:32:03 PM] <Sebastian> Just so we're clear [6:32:11 PM] <Brody> She brought food-- we're preoccupied [6:32:22 PM] <Marley> I mean in all honesty, you're both being assholes. It's a game. [6:32:29 PM] <Marley> Preoccupied? *Raises eyebrow* [6:32:31 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:32:33 PM] <Sebastian> Whatever, Marls. [6:32:47 PM] <Brittany> Guysssss stop fighting [6:32:52 PM] <Marley> Seriously, Sebastian? I mean this is a game, and instead it's arguing. It's frustrating, that's all. [6:33:13 PM] <Blaine2> Okay, guys, everyone, we need to chill the fuck out. [6:33:20 PM] <Brody> Okay, seriously guys-- I'm with the other Bs here [6:33:26 PM] <Sebastian> I'm actually genuinely confused. I was asking for clarification. [6:33:39 PM] <Brody> Bas-- I totally missed what needs clarifying [6:33:51 PM] <Brody> I was asking about your Nazis and you didn't answer I don't think [6:34:00 PM] <Marley> Fine. [6:34:02 PM] <Brody> Also, Lily asked if you were ever coming back [6:34:08 PM] <Sebastian> I told you they were sore from getting punched in the face. [6:34:09 PM] <Brody> is it okay if I tell her no? [6:34:13 PM] Sebastian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:34:21 PM] <Sebastian> Give her my number [6:34:21 PM] <Brody> so they aren't singing anymore? [6:34:39 PM] <Brody> she doesn't need you number [6:34:46 PM] <Brody> she wants a lawyer [6:34:51 PM] <Sebastian> Well clearly she misses me [6:34:51 PM] <Brody> and she doesn't need one [6:35:07 PM] <Brody> she's being a lame ass [6:35:23 PM] <Brody> you two are actually kind of perfect for each other in that respect [6:35:31 PM] <Brody> and she's stealing my toppings [6:35:53 PM] <Brody> Aw, Bas-- was fucking a corpse you? [6:36:08 PM] <Brittany> ...I don't know what's going on anymore. [6:36:08 PM] Sebastian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:36:22 PM] <Blaine2> No, it was me, Brody. I was trying to pull a fast one [6:36:22 PM] <Brody> my friend Lily knows Bas a little-- she's being a nerd [6:36:34 PM] <Sebastian> She misses me. [6:36:37 PM] <Brody> and Bas likes musicals with Nazis in them [6:36:38 PM] <Marley> God my cards suckl [6:36:46 PM] <Sebastian> Who doesn't? [6:37:33 PM] Sebastian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:37:33 PM] <Brody> I guess they're okay-- I can think of better musicals [6:37:39 PM] <Sebastian> Huh. Look at that. [6:37:49 PM] <Kurt> I smell collusion. [6:37:49 PM] <Brody> I mean, not saying Julie Andrews isn't well worth the effort [6:37:59 PM] <Blaine2> I'm trying to make it up to you, Bas, obviously [6:38:21 PM] <Brody> obviously [6:38:38 PM] <Brody> my son is the compassionate one in the family [6:38:42 PM] <Brody> he takes after his mother [6:38:59 PM] <Brody> they both have nice asses and are too good to their friends [6:39:14 PM] Brittany wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:39:17 PM] <Sebastian> I can't even argue with that one. [6:39:23 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [6:39:28 PM] <Sebastian> He does have a damn good ass. [6:39:30 PM] <Blaine2> Awww, you're making me tear up, Elphie [6:39:38 PM] <Blaine2> .... [6:39:49 PM] <Blaine2> Couldn't just be sentimental, could ya, Bas. [6:39:53 PM] <Blaine2> Though, thank you...again. [6:40:19 PM] <Sebastian> You're welcome ;) [6:41:53 PM] Brittany was skipped this round for being idle for too long. [6:42:34 PM] <Brody> I mean, I'm starting to think Britt's might be better, now that I'm thinking about it [6:42:36 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:42:44 PM] <Brody> but guy faculty? hands down is you SB [6:42:47 PM] <Kurt> Congrats, Brody [6:42:52 PM] <Brody> OH THANK GOD