#FunnyDreams

[furiouslywriting]

Our hope lies with two betrothed carrot sticks

- a quote from the dream I just had. (It was the people holding the carrots that were betrothed 🤷‍♀️)

[comfybirb]

Dream Diary: McDonald's Chaos and the Great Shitsplosion

this dream started with me being cajoled into attending a jehovah’s witness book study on their interpretation of the bible book of daniel. seriously, nothing to gain here—this book was hackneyed when it came out and hasn’t been updated with the org’s “new light” in over 20 years. still, i reluctantly agreed and got into the car with my grumbling dad.

five minutes down the road, i realized i was missing my shoes and my copy of the book. dad turned the minivan around, grumbling even more, and i ran up to the house—without keys, of course. i went back to the car, and dad handed me the spikiest, most uncomfortable keys i’ve ever seen. i thanked him, but not without having a violent impulse: if i heard him being abusive to my mom, i was coming back with a shotgun.

inside the house, i started searching for my book when nature called, urgently. i didn’t make it to the toilet, and to make matters worse, a friend’s bunny was also present, adding its own mess to the disaster. between the two of us, the house was a war zone. thankfully, i found some spray (shoutout to nature’s miracle, #notsponsored) and started cleaning up. at some point, dad drove off in the car—good riddance. later, my across-the-street neighbor, gary, showed up and started helping. together, we cleaned up the disaster from every horizontal carpeted surface, and i managed to take a quick shower.

when my family returned from the book study, blissfully unaware of the “shitsplosion” that had occurred, i offered to pick up dinner to make up for almost making them late. predictably, they wanted mcdonald’s.

so there i was, back in my hometown mcdonald’s—but this time, at least by choice. i noticed i was wearing a gray, blocky shirt, and so were all the employees. realizing this, i said, “you have got to be fucking kidding me,” and gained partial awareness. while waiting in line to order, i saw a kid struggling with the mcflurry machine. i gave up my spot in line and tried to clock in at one of the registers—it failed, of course, since i hadn’t worked there in over 20 years!

kicking myself, i went to help the kid with his mcflurry anyway. after getting the mess sorted, i got back to the customer side of the counter before a manager could spot me. as a bonus, i helped myself to the overly oreo-filled mcflurry the kid had messed up. after all, that’s officially recognized mcdonald’s system training, and that mess doesn’t happen for free. just as i was about to take a bite, i woke up.

[schuhfachmann]

NEU: Clarks Schnürschuhe Schnürschuhe FunnyDream - 261790944 - wine -

[ladmob]

https://esp.ladmobly.com/d5of

Wonderful Hook! - marvelous

Great Hook! – awesome

Source

#Love, #Fun, #QuotesFunnyLove, #FunnyRelatable

[helendenise-blog]

Tags by @HashMeApp #fun #girl #humor #comedy #family #hilarious #instalike #like #friendship #funnypictures #motivation #life #happy #happiness #dreams #live #funny #sleep #funnydreams #silly #puppies #puppiesofinstagram

[shydepressedangelica-blog]

So I had a dream last night about Thomas Sanders.....

We were together in a car, and we had two cats with us, and we were watching them cuddle and be cute together or something. Thomas suddenly brakes in the middle of the road, looks me dead in the eyes, and says, "I'm just about as straight as a cat." I laughed so hard I woke up.😹😹 @thatsthat24

[brasil-pen-spinning-things]

Aihao Funny's Dream!! 😁 #pen #penspin #penmodding #penspinning #penmod #ipsb #upsb #ペン回し #girarcaneta #malabares #juggling #toy #fernandopolis #aihao #funnydream #manobra #brasilpenspinning #penspinningbrasil https://www.instagram.com/p/B2c0k8ynmiI/?igshid=evhjcxh0gx6o

[straighttothepointstudio-blog]

Just a cute drawing I made for Bronymonster44 and Zee Dee. Such a cute couple!

[helanprabha-blog]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuIvTmKzFNw)  Dare To Dream!

[bretl835]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Bret Lafty (@bretl835)

I had a dream that Mr. Peanut was in my living room talking to me thats nuts right. #sketchcomedy #puppetcomedy #funnyvideos #mrpeanut #dream_image #funnydreams https://www.instagram.com/p/BqtCApDFfwi/?igshid=3opqbihmlku5

[stayinbedart]

I’m so productive. In my sleep I invented a whole new type of cross bred animal that chased me through a mall. A cross between a cat and an alligator: a calligator. Needless to say, I woke myself up laughing. . . . . . #calligator #basicallyafurryalligator #oracatwithascalybeak #icantstoplaughing #illustratedjournal #dailydrawing #domesticsketcher #cozybedroom #funnydreams #copicart

[burnedbush]

Partial Dreams

2/4/2017 

“Dylan and I were trying to find his wallet and keys in a Family Dollar. We found them in an inflatable hot air balloon then snuck out of the store.”

2/11/2017

“I thought for some reason that my boyfriend’s mom was having another child and naming it the same name of her other son, Wyatt.”

2/15/2017

“I’m running away from someone in an office building. I climb the stairs, getting off on the 6th floor. I dive under the closest desk to hide from my pursuer. There is a faint memory of an all gender bathroom.”

2/20/2017

“I remember teaching someone how to use the cheesy boarders on Microsoft Word documents.”

2/23/2017

“Dark street, car that does not belong to me, headlights.”

[schuhfachmann]

NEU: Clarks Schnürschuhe Schnürschuhe FunnyDream - 261792864 - dark green -

[ladmob]

https://esp.ladmobly.com/d5kn

Update: Bakery/Safeway/Petco Theif Karen- Christina Kelso is back on IG, will get stopped for expired tags and gives police extended lecture, talks about new career and demands Yoga whilst detained - overwhelming

Update: Bakery/Safeway/Petco Theif Karen- Christina Kelso is back again on IG, will get stopped for expired tags and presents law enforcement extended lecture, talks about new career and calls for Yoga when detained – astonishing

Source

#GiftsFunny, #HumorFunny, #FunnyComments, #FunnyPuns

[ask-updike-tgg]

"Funnyman no more funnydreaming?" -{:

"I suppose so. Still, perhaps it's time to take advantage of how easily he'll listen to people now, and make him spill some secrets, right? That is what you anons like to do, I think." :)

[smileformeplease]

Weird wedding (ugh)

Hey! I really don’t know how o get followers on here but i’m gonna keep blogging because  love it and why not and also interesting fact i didn’t know you can actually make money off of this lolllll!!!! But whatever well see but seriously i have like  a 100 topics to talk about maybe when i get some followers i can do a Q & A , I really really wanna do it ...... anyways let me tell you i had the wierdest dream yesterday and i woke up this morning with the most cringey face , so the dream was that i got married , it was an arrange marriage , yeah i couldn’t believe it too , c’mon no arrange marriages  but yeah i god marries and maybe something happened with my memories and the next morning i couldn’t remember the man i married , my best friend comes up to me and she was all wow it was such a great wedding and guess what asked her “ what did he look like ?”and she thought that i was asking for her opinion on which suit he had on btw i don’t remember if it was a suit or something else and she was like yeah he was looking handsome , you scored a nice one and i’m all like hahahah but in my head i was like why the hell do i not remember him literally then i had an idea of checking my phone because i was damn sure i would have taken pictures but guess what nothing on there and i can’t see the wedding photos because those take like weeks to get developed i if you’re starting to wonder where my husband is one day after our wedding , trust me i’m wondering the same thing ........................i really could develop this story into a comedy hollywood movie so Universal give me a call if you want i would love to find out the end of this movie ....... where do you think he went or was this all real in my dream, or was i dreaming in my dream ... i do not know anything do comment and i would love to hear your theories about this ....... alright signing out now !!!!!!!