#Funny story my brother is allergic to horses so I am banished to the cellar with my sport clothes XD

[fandom-necromancer]

1182. Please, don’t hurt me!

This was promted by the awesome @detroitbecomestickman! Hope it’s funny, I tried XD Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900

Cats loved Nines and Nines loved cats. Gavin seemed to like cats too, given that his phone had hundreds of pictures of them saved although there was little to no space left for important data. As they moved in together, Nines had asked him whether he owned one, but Gavin had just shaken his head with regret and the android hadn’t asked further. He would have loved to have a pet, but if he had to choose between Gavin and a cat, the human won.

Most of his calculations ended that way. Being promoted to Lieutenant and move to another precinct or stay Gavin’s partner? Spending his time with maintenance or steal a few more minutes with his human? Allow his love to get harmed or catch the bullet for him? Easy decisions from Nines’ perspective and maybe even no decision at all. No, he would stay with Gavin forever. Solving mysteries, finding clues and chasing suspects through Detroit was something he loved nearly as much as his human, he thought, currently doing the latter. They ran through dark alleys, their feet disturbing puddles from the last rain, while the sound of cars from the next street followed them.

‘Damn, he’s fast!’, Gavin panted by his side, keeping up with the android. Nines wasn’t running at top speed, but given the nature of their suspect, it might be better to corner him together. He was extremely fast and agile, and Nines didn’t know if he could handle him himself. The criminal had managed to escape his cell completely on his own, running for his life as the duo began chasing him outside the building and down the stairs. ‘We could always call backup’, Nines offered, but only earned a sneer from the human: ‘Like hell we are. We wanted to beat Hank and Connor in this month’s arrests, don’t you remember?’ ‘Then I hope you still have some stamina left. Our suspect has climbed the fire escape of the next building.’ ‘Oh, you gotta be kidding me!’, Gavin practically whined. But as he followed the fugitive, Nines’ observation proved itself to be true. ‘Should I throw you?’ ‘Ugh. Anything to get that bastard.’ Nines nodded, swooping his human from his feet and throwing him at the fire escape before jumping himself. Gavin managed to climb up the remaining steps, the manoeuvre a common tactic by now. But instead of climbing to the roof, their suspect jumped from the platform to a near wall and down to street level on the other side again. ‘Damn parkour. Why couldn’t he just stop at “Freeze, DPD!”?’, Gavin complained, before following the fugitive. He was less elegant, but it got the job done. Nines followed him, but Gavin now had the lead and was close enough to take the chance. He leapt forwards and managed to pin their suspect to the ground.

‘Mreeoow!’ ‘You have the phcking right to remain silent!’ ‘Mreow!’

‘I don’t think he can understand the Miranda Rights, Gavin’, Nines commented, while his human got up to his feet the thrashing cat in his arms. ‘AH! Phck! Please, don’t hurt me! Phcking bastard kitty. We are just trying to get you back to your – ah, ah, achoo!’ Nines watched Gavin near losing his grip on the cat sneezing. ‘Back to your goddamn owner!’ He sniffed and his eyes were red. ‘You are allergic to cats!’, Nines finally noticed. ‘Yeah, tell me something I didn’t know!’, Gavin barked. ‘Just get that ca- achoo! Phck, take him!’ Nines hurried over and took the cat, trying to calm him down. Meanwhile Gavin took out a handkerchief and blew his nose. ‘We should get back to Mrs. Gomez’, Nines said, and Gavin nodded, following the android and the cat in some distance.

‘Why is the human body so damn weak?’, Gavin complained, after they had given the cat back to their neighbour who had been about to take him to the vet for a check-up. One that was completely unnecessary in Gavin’s opinion. If a cat could unlock a transport box and sprint through half Detroit, near outrunning the top Detective of the DPD and the most advanced android ever created, he was fine. Now they were finally driving to work, bracing themselves to explain Fowler they were late because they had to chase a runaway housecat. ‘Cats are so cute, and I have to be horribly allergic to them!’ ‘Actually your body is quite strong’, Nines pointed out. ‘Just misfiring due to underutilisation of your immune system.’ ‘Yeah great. Makes me feel better immediately!’, Gavin spat. ‘I wanna cuddle a cat without dying, please.’ ‘You wouldn’t die. But it wouldn’t be pleasant.’ ‘Wow, toaster, you really aren’t helping.’ ‘The most common allergy against cats results from the protein Fel D1 in their saliva. A cat without that could be suitable to have as a pet if that is your type of allergy. There are eight different types of-‘ ‘Okay, Wikipedia, stop. You mean I don’t have to avoid cats all the time?’ Nines cocks his head. ‘There are breeds that you could be unaffected by.’ ‘You see? This is actually helping!’, Gavin smiled. ‘Let’s research that immediately after Fowler dissected us!’ ‘I don’t think he has any arguments to underline his statement. It is our duty as police officers to help the citizens of Detroit. We both returned one back to safety and helped Mrs. Gomez to be reunited with a missing family member.’ ‘It was a cat.’ ‘I don’t see your point’, Nines disagreed. ‘This could even be a successful detainment for our competition with the Andersons.’ ‘Okay, I’m all in. But you do the talking, you got the robot-brain.’

Nines sighed, as they walked through the bullpen. ‘Why do you only admit I’m the intelligent one when it’s saving your ass?’ ‘Come on babe. You can’t press the checkbox to prove you are not a robot…’ ‘I can! But I would lie to get access to-‘ ‘Let’s just agree we are both idiots, okay?’, Gavin interrupted, a loving smile on his lips. ‘Fine. I can live with that.’