#Funny Fishing Apparel

[noisycowboyglitter]

I Like His Pole: Navigating Humor and Flirtation in Dating

"I Like His Pole" is a phrase that could have multiple interpretations depending on the context. On the surface, it might refer to admiration for someone's physical object, such as a fishing rod, a vaulting pole, or a flag pole. In sports, it could express appreciation for an athlete's technique in pole vaulting or pole dancing.

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In a more metaphorical sense, the phrase might allude to someone's strength, stability, or leadership - qualities often associated with the image of a sturdy pole. It could be a compliment to a person's character, implying they are reliable and supportive, much like a pole that holds things up.

The phrase might also have a playful or flirtatious undertone, potentially serving as a double entendre in certain situations. This interpretation would depend heavily on the speaker's tone and the relationship between the individuals involved.

In a political context, "I Like His Pole" could refer to a candidate's stance or position on various issues, with "pole" being a metaphor for their platform or ideological alignment.

Ultimately, the meaning of "I Like His Pole" is highly context-dependent. It could be an innocent observation, a sports-related comment, a character assessment, or even a suggestive remark. The true intention behind the phrase would only be clear when considering the full situation in which it's used.

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"Reel in Romance: Celebrating the Shared Passions of a Fishing Couple on Valentine's Day"

For the fishing-loving couple, the combination of Valentine's Day and their mutual adoration for the great outdoors creates a uniquely special celebration. As they venture out to the serene waters, rod in hand, the rhythmic bob of their bobbers becomes a symbol of their intertwined interests and the deep connection they share.

On this day of love, the couple may delight in exchanging fishing-themed Valentine's Day cards, complete with witty puns and heartfelt messages. They might even plan a romantic picnic by the lake, complete with a fresh catch and a bottle of wine, toasting to the joys of their shared passion.

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In this harmonious pairing of love and leisure, the couple revels in the opportunity to celebrate their bond while indulging in the peaceful serenity of their beloved sport, creating lasting memories that intertwine the heart and the great outdoors.

"Timeless Traditions, Evolving Expressions: The Enduring Allure of Valentine's Day"

Valentine's Day, a cherished annual celebration, continues to captivate the hearts and minds of people across the globe. This day, dedicated to the universal language of love, offers a timeless opportunity to express affection, reaffirm commitments, and bask in the warmth of shared experiences.

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Whether it's the exchange of heartfelt cards and gifts, the indulgence in romantic dinners, or the simple act of quality time spent together, the essence of Valentine's Day lies in its ability to bring people closer, fostering deeper connections and lasting memories. As the world pauses to honor the power of love, this day serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of cherishing the special bonds that enrich our lives.

[petar1989]

Kiss My Bass

https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/58857259-kiss-my-bass?store_id=3165404

[tshirtvally46]

THAT’S WHAT I DO I KAYAK AND KNOW THINGS

[swimmingruinsdream]

Born to Go Fishing Forced to Go To School T-Shirt

Embrace your love for fishing and education with our 'Born to Go Fishing Forced to Go School' t-shirt. Perfect for anyone who balances two passions in life.

[wellthebardsdead]

Fools Prayer Pt3

Part 2 here

———

*the tense stretching of fine silken threads and skittering of several chitinous legs belonging to hundreds of bodies*

“Traitor!!! TRAITOR!!!!”

???: Me?… a traitor?… *steps into view, a dunmer man dressed in a tight mash of morag tong and dark brotherhood apparel, gathered, acquired, and cut from his victims bodies to shape a dark yet tasteful outfit to mask his presence from the world* How funny. Such an accusation from your tongue… Mephala. *grins behind his chitin helm up at the daedric prince before him, strung up in her own web, being slowly ripped in two as her own daedric servants act against her whims under his command, and pull her limb by limb, drawing and quartering her by her own threads* to call me a traitor when my actions fall within your sphere. You should revere me, laud me for it, hold me aloft and beg me to be your champion in fact… how funny you call me a traitor. When you, and your fellow princes. Abandoned nerevar and I in the heart chamber of that accursed mountain… when you lead Vehk to believe your lies.

Mephala: *hisses down at him with terror present in the red of her eyes* I saw the truth of what you would become. I saw the truth of who you truely are, and I tried to lead him as my champion to stop you- *arches her back and bellows out a pained cry as her form begins to slowly split down the middle* t-to save my fellow princes from you- to save my people from you- t-to save- nerevar- from you-

???: *smiles slowly drawing the ebony blade from his back and walking to her as her form shrinks, and his grows* you made one grave mistake after the other. Daedra no matter what form are always, so very predictable that way, they never, plan, ahead. *presses the blade to her abdomen, it’s metal glowing and pulsating with the power he’d cut from azuras very soul* You thought Vehk, dear, sweet, naive, pathetic, vivec, to be heartless. *presses the blade a little harder breaking her skin as she’s ripped apart* You thought me, to have a heart. *slices into her drawing the blade up as her body splits the rest of the way exposing her heart as it’s rapid panicked pounding harmonises with her agonised screams* and you failed to consider. *raises his hands, summoning the tools of kagrenac to adorn him and his grasp as his helmet disappears allowing his long, dark hair to flow beyond his shoulders freely, and the red of his third eye to meet hers* That, Id. Be. Back.

*meanwhile*

Vivec: *quietly going about his usual route through the slums of blacklight, his body and face hidden behind his heavy garb. His spear disguised with a fishing net and basket slung over his shoulder. And his hours spent tending to those the world had forgotten. Feeding the starving, mending the hurt, and healing the sick with his ‘almost’ godly touch.* keep them as cool as you possibly can and the fever will fade as the medicine works. *smiles behind his mask as he hands a poorly infant back to his mother* but they should be alright now. You know where to find me otherwise.

Dunmer mother: thank you! Thank you Muthsera Nammu!! (highly honoured nameless one)

Vivec: *smiles nodding his head to her before fixing the babies swaddle* No more givinv your poor mother grief, Hla Molamer. (Little warrior) *quietly continues on his route, eventually leaving the slums and entering the more unsavoury parts of the shipyard leading out to the broken piers and docks of the harbour, planning on catching whatever he can to continue feeding his people* hm? *glances up along the boardwalk to see a ship bearing the sigils of house indoril and the temple crest, and on it, several ordinators bearing the armoured helms of the Hortators best, all of them flanking temple guards* … *turns and walks off quietly towards the ashen sands of the beach front, hoping to avoid them at any cost necessary*

*several hours later*

Vivec: *slings his now full basket over his shoulder, satisfied with his quarry for the day as the setting sun bathes the land in a swathe of red and gold* hm?… *slows his pace spotting a group of netch, all of them slowly floating about over the sands towards the many large eroded rocks and boulders covering the beach. His mind wandering back to his childhood before his family abandoned him. Blurred memories from just beyond the days he’d taken his first steps, to the day he was old enough to wield his first spear while his father held the net, his fathers face now lost to him and to time, a distant time long ago, when childhood innocence lead him to believe everything would be alright* … *sighs* I should have just stuck to being a netchiman than playing god- *looks down for just a brief moment to see where his footing would land… only to see several, heavy footprints not his own* … *immediately looks around cautiously as panic grips him, his gaze following the prints in the ashen sand all the way over to the large rock being inspected by the bull of the small netch herd. The increasingly, agitated bull* … *quietly kneels down and picks up a pebble, before pelting it hard at the leathery creatures back, immediately turning it hostile. Not towards him. But to the two heavily armed ordinators he’d been sniffing at*

The ordinators: *immediately leap out from behind the rock, blowing their cover and attacking the netch and his herd*

Vivec: *takes off past them without a moments hesitation seeing they’re distracted, only to be taken to the ground as another unseen figure in the form of a temple guard grabs his legs* Shit- *rolls over roughly taking the guard with him and managing to pull one leg free quickly enough to kick them hard in the head, just long enough to stun them so he can get free* I haven’t done anything!!! *jumps back a little too far for a humble fisherman to manage, and floating just a little too weightlessly for any ordinary mage to achieve. Thankfully managing to grab his now half empty basket as he leaps, leaving half of his hunt lost to his attackers as he flees from the beach and back to the slums of the city*

*several hours later*

Vivec: *exhausted after having to find his way back to his ‘home’ without encountering any of the ordinators and guards now patrolling seemingly every inch of the slums. Now serving the last of the needy his catch* I’m sorry there’s not much tonight. The tide wasn’t with me. *hands it to the poorly old Mer who so kindly pats his bandaged hand in thanks*

Old mer: you owe us no apologies. We’d all be lost without you young lad. *smiles and bows his head in thanks before shuffling from his doorway with the food*

Vivec: *smiles sadly as he leaves, knowing full well they were lost due to his failures and leniency with the temple to begin with* im glad to help anyway I can. *fixes his mask and stands picking up the pot and looking in it thinking he’s done for the night* looks like it’s bread again for me… *sighs and lights the lantern above his door as always, letting anyone know he’s there if they need him*

???: excuse me.

Vivec: I’m sorry I haven’t got any left, I have some bread though if- *turns and freezes seeing several ordinators and temple guards surrounding him and his hideaway* …

Ordinator: *steps forward slowly, cautiously, the lanterns glow revealing specks of ashen sand stuck to the blue of his cape as he produces a scroll from his bag and unfurls it* By order of the son of Boethia, Hortator and Gahmerdohn of all morrowind, Indoril Nerevar, and the signatures of the greater houses. You are hereby placed under arrest. Vivec.

Vivec: *tired eyes heavy behind his mask, knowing there’s no point in running, not even knowing if he has the energy to run anymore* … *sets the pot down and slowly sits on his knees as he pulls his hood back from his hair and removes his mask, revealing his face as he presents his wrists to be shackled* I understand… please show mercy to those I have served here… they did not know of my face or name. they have suffered enough already at my hand.

[rifter-pride]

how to make aurboborbo lore actually good:

aurboborbos live in a separate chronopunk society atop the behemoth. bc the behemoth is canonically too damn tall, no flighted dragon has ever seen their society from the air and all risks can be mitigated by the aurboborbo's possession of the loop, which they can just pocket sand at people in a pinch.

(however pocket looping people is something frowned upon in aurboborbo society so it's only for emergencies and not all willy nilly whenever)

aurboborbos derive some kind of macguffin thing from the behemoth, or else cannot travel far from the behemoth's canopy bc ancient magic reasons. maybe both.

our story POV should be an aurboborbo and not a modern dragon, because fish out of water stories are inherently better than some crusty nigel thornberry knockoff. sorry juniper but zzz.

so our POV should be like idk bobbi the aurboborbo who dreams of the ground below and they build a chronosuit or whatever to help them leave the canopy to expand aurboborbo society/knowledge and/or the canopy macguffin has stopped working (remember when the ancients and tidelord and everything were all down to the bounty of the elements lore 100 years ago? why not bring that back for a change) and bobbi volunteers to leave aurboborbo society to figure out a solution.

the story should be chiefly about bobbi pretending to be a coatl while stuffed into a trenchcoat and loathing the feeling of apparel, bc i think it would be funny to have this kind of nod to on-site mechanics. bobbi also keeps a log of all the weird shit they learn about modern dragon societies and a list of questions they plan to someday ask a modern dragon whenever this whole isolationist society gig blows over, which bobbi is increasingly sure/hopeful it will, because modern dragons have french fries or w/e and bobbi thinks those are just great.

there should be 1 modern dragon who has some knowledge or ability relevant to bobbi's situation who is able to detect when some time magic fuckery is about and they get interested in trying to figure out why their "coatl" neighbour weighs 126 tons and speaks fluent draconic (2 things none of their OTHER coatl neighbours have ever done). there should be at least some tense journal entries from bobbi about their cat-and-mouse relationship to this friendly modern neighbour involving casserole. (bobbi loves this casserole. yet another reason to dissolve the wall between the two societies.)

anyway bobbi gets into hijinks and tries pocket looping people to resolve the hijinks, which either a) gets them in trouble with the time guardians (guardians of time) in the greater aurboborbo society or b) just happens to coincide with a great report bobbi sends back to HQ which results in a small delegation of aurboborbos showing up while bobbi is in the penultimate hijink. either way, the penultimate hijink should end with modern breeds and aurboborbos doing this but with various kinds of magics

because this is funny.

anyway this is just some shit that got blasted into my brain pan after reading this lackluster lore and contemplating how to do a "2 separate societies meeting for the first time" story in a way that is fun and inverts some expectations and was not already tired all the way back in 1995.

[graytrailcam]

Dawn of the Final Day before my Headbanger and Mara's Weggbaby is ready

Won't lie, it's pretty funny and Lore Wise I suppose fun that the first dragon I hatch myself is the only egg in their nest. I plan on keeping them no matter how hideous they turn out to be. I will make it work.

I also wanted to give a proper introduction to the four Pearlcatchers I added to my lair yesterday!

(I have them all decked out from the Dressing Room, currently working on actually acquiring all of their apparel. Slowly but surely) I thought it would be neat to have some dragons that were in charge of the various different kinds of food that the dragons eat. They didn't all have to be Pearlcatchers but... I wanted them to be so here we are! Starting from the Top, from left to right; Cooper: In charge of Meat, keeps a pretty respectable hen house that feeds everyone pretty reliably. Married to Tackle. Tackle: In charge of Fish. Regularly ventures out to pull up nets of fish before he starts drying and curing them. Married to Cooper. Green Thumb: In charge of Plants. Tends to a pretty fruitful garden that doubles as a haven for the insects the Lair also eats. Married to Monarch. Monarch: In charge of Insects. Splits his time evenly between venturing out to see if he can gather a new species for the collection and tending to the current colonies in his Wife's garden. Married to Green Thumb. Speaking of Pearlcatchers. Was poking around the world map and when I got to the Light Domain I uh. Found this guy?

[slightlydensedragons]

We're taking a dive today friends and fam, to the underwater lair of Raire's, where its pretty sights and even prettier dragons. Admist all the coral and the no doubt amazingly gorgeous fish, I have taken a moment to browse the selection of dragons, and boy howdy, if I didn't limit myself, there'd be a lot more. Shall we get started?

I am such a sucker for Mint, there's no doubting that but Mint AND the purple colour from the clothing choice? Raca is an amazingly coordinated dragon. Something about the Spiral's energy instantly drew me to her, and I must say, she is just a sight to behold. A fantastic combination of colour that has me just enamoured for who knows how long. I'm going to end up with a minty dragon of my own, just you wait.

I would be a terrible member of the Ice Flight if I didn't pick Uru from the confines of the other flight reps that were present. He's simple, but sometimes that's all it really takes. The Irishim is nothing to sneeze at, and it works on him amazingly with the added Ringlets as well? And the free Underbelly to boot? There's only so much to fawn over he is an stunning dragon and deserves to be adored.

Something about this funny little guy just had me attracted to his appearance. Haemo probably appeals to my sense of dark shades and reds, that make up my own corner of my flight and beckoned me to come closer. Simple and rather effective, just something about him had to make me look closer at him.

Geos is gorgeous and I am goddamn sucker for her colours. I am notorious for making characters and just, slapping shades of brown on them. "Karlos once again, making a shades of brown character." But when you look at it, what's not to love. She's inviting and so very warm. I feel as if her hugs could melt so many worries from my life. If she offering? Because I would take it up in a heart beart.

I swear I was going to do only 4 dragons. 4 became 5 when Azalea showed up. The green and pink shouted at me to come see him, to embrace the wonderfulness that is his gorgeous appearance. And who was I to refuse an audience with him. I personally would not place the carousel apparel upon my dragons, but damn does he do it some justice with how nice it looks. Chef kiss all around.

[the-firebird69]

So he started to hear they're deciding to pay our son and all this and her son is saying we'll see it when we believe it and it'll happen when it if it happens until then everybody gets a severe beating and that's what they say he usually says and they say it's not really saying it but they hear the process so people start sayingso wht u the massive idiots and what we say iswe're gonna get you

- We have several projects to announce there are major projects and all three are under master projects.

## Aquatic sports including swimming, scuba diving, boating, sailboating, small submarines, resort type activities, water park and the newing fishing any type of hunting in the water and Yachting Power Boating Competitive Boating of all kinds and I didn't sport that has to do with the water including breath hole diving professional onshore in pool sports yes like the Olympics diving contest swimming contest and there's limited to civilian type activities it includes all of the apparel hardware gear training apparatus sites building them taking them over renovating maintaining and running our program there everywhere go on to Earth and wherever people have the public has access yes including the YMCA. We want to make a note just try to whole bunch of these projects but we sort of didn't assess what we could do and why how it interrelates and it's actually logical we're going ahead with it now you have a lot of work to do a very big project and it's exciting there's a lot of people interested it's going on right now that we're beginning they looked at our sons idea and heard about it most of them but they said that's the greatest thing I've ever heard and we said it's poor any dreams of boating even escaping in a boat and some people had tears because they know how it is others want to start right away and they said what kind of motor can we use and they heard they heard you saying an inboard shaft drive This is why this other motives cost a lot of money. It had some solutions and sun says what about those solid gas weed wackers and unfortunately they wouldn't last long it says what kind of boat would it be for it was very small you're very light a two seater if that and he wants to get to work on him you can put on a single seat and it would work for recreational use. I don't know what's wrong it is a bit funny but he had a kit idea and put zincs on it and actually make it work so is it the plastic would be great but I can't make it themselves there's aluminum they said why aluminum is real light and he widened his eyes a little because he got those feeling it'll work almost anybody can work with the aluminum elected so much he's starting it now guys his little boats some of those things have 30 or 40 horsepower it's a lot and you'd have to liquor cool it when he said he knows how to do that others said the music car motor has to be a boat you showed them the one that you looked at so that's kind of fit in the garage listen you can make the front end stick out that's very true and you put a top over the little frame the carpenters were amateurs it takes minutes they agreed it's a good idea and the aluminum stitch is great in the metal stitch in the wood and fiberglass nones will do that right away we heard about your opinion and that's why it is to do it and this would be my next revolution and they wait for it for anything and then said wow that's weird and do you want me to make your names for themselves then that got it going and they're arguing and it says what we need to do you can be out here what we need to say is we don't know what will take and when how long it'll take but each one of these will take away and they wanted to do it right there there's someone with an idea with a weed Wacker someone with an idea where you stick it out of the garage you put two whackers on the front and that's what these jokers say and then we can do that just like the Navy seals and those actually clapping they said we're getting to work I heard it going on and I started helping and we see how it's going so we're gonna print.

Thor Freya

Olympus

We hear this idiot the saying this boutique is hers doesn't have anything and hero wants to make it so he has an idea this is a great idea we have to publish thor Freya I didn't fix the verbiage

[tahastore1]

Crazy Dog Dad Fishing Shirts Funny Father's Day Reel Cool Dad Papa Grandpa Tees 

[noisycowboyglitter]

Can’t Work, Gone Fishing: Making the Most of Your Time Off

"Can't Work Gone Fishing" is a lighthearted phrase that embodies the carefree spirit and passion of dedicated anglers. This popular expression humorously prioritizes the joy of fishing over the responsibilities of work, capturing the essence of escape and relaxation that fishing provides.

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Often seen on signs, t-shirts, or office desk placards, this phrase serves as both a declaration of an angler's priorities and a playful excuse for temporary absence. It reflects the irresistible pull of nature, the thrill of the catch, and the peace found in casting a line into tranquil waters.

The sentiment behind "Can't Work Gone Fishing" resonates with fishing enthusiasts who understand that sometimes, the call of the river, lake, or sea simply cannot be ignored. It speaks to the therapeutic value of fishing, offering a mental break from the stresses of daily life and work.

This phrase also highlights the cultural significance of fishing as more than just a hobby. It's a lifestyle, a form of meditation, and for many, a vital connection to nature. The humor in the statement

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acknowledges the occasional conflict between passion and obligation, but ultimately sides with the pursuit of happiness and personal fulfillment.

"Can't Work Gone Fishing" serves as a reminder to balance work and leisure, encouraging people to take time for the activities that bring them joy and rejuvenation.

Men, Women, Kids Fishing Lovers encompasses the diverse community of angling enthusiasts across all ages and genders. This inclusive group shares a common passion for the art and sport of fishing, whether it's casting a line in a tranquil lake, battling ocean waves for a big catch, or fly fishing in a mountain stream.

For men, fishing often represents a blend of skill, patience, and connection with nature. Women anglers bring their own perspectives and growing presence to the sport, challenging stereotypes and enjoying the peacefulness and excitement equally. Kids find in fishing an opportunity for adventure, learning, and quality time with family.

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Fishing lovers of all backgrounds appreciate the camaraderie, the challenge of outsmarting fish, and the serenity of being surrounded by nature. This shared interest creates a bond that transcends age and gender, fostering a welcoming community united by their love for fishing.

Xmas Gifts for Fishermen offer a range of options to delight angling enthusiasts during the holiday season. Popular choices include high-quality rods, reels, and tackle boxes for gear upgrades. Personalized items like custom lures or engraved fishing tools add a special touch. For comfort, consider waterproof clothing or heated gear for winter fishing. Tech-savvy anglers might appreciate fish finders or

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underwater cameras. Fishing-themed home decor, books on angling techniques, or subscriptions to fishing magazines provide year-round enjoyment. For a unique experience, consider gifting a guided fishing trip or membership to a local fishing club. These thoughtful presents cater to various budgets and fishing styles.

[kingjain]

Philadelphia Eagles Put Trash In Its Place Funny T-Shirt

The Philadelphia Eagles Put Trash In Its Place Funny T-Shirt is a perfect gift for both men and women who are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. With its humorous message, this t-shirt adds a touch of fun and wit to any Eagles fan's wardrobe. The design of this t-shirt is simple yet eye-catching. It features the Philadelphia Eagles logo surrounded by the words "Put Trash In Its Place" in bold, vibrant letters. The message cleverly plays on the team's name, implying that the Eagles are the best team in the NFL and that any other team is just trash. This playful jab at rival teams is sure to bring a smile to any Eagles fan's face. The t-shirt comes in a variety of sizes, making it a versatile gift option for anyone. Whether you are shopping for a die-hard Eagles fan or someone who simply enjoys a good laugh, this t-shirt is a great choice. It can be worn to game days, tailgating parties, or even just casually around town. It is made of high-quality materials, ensuring comfort and durability for long-term wear. In addition to its humorous message, this t-shirt also serves as a way for fans to show their support for the Philadelphia Eagles. By wearing this t-shirt, fans can proudly display their loyalty to the team and represent their favorite NFL franchise. It is the perfect piece of fan apparel to wear to games, watch parties, or any occasion where Eagles pride is on display. This t-shirt also makes a great gift for those who are new to the Philadelphia Eagles fandom. Whether they are recently converted fans or simply looking to support a loved one's favorite team, this t-shirt allows them to join in on the fun and show their team spirit. Its witty design is sure to make them feel like a true Eagles fan. In conclusion, the Philadelphia Eagles Put Trash In Its Place Funny T-Shirt is a must-have for any Eagles fan. It combines humor, team pride, and high-quality design into a single garment. Whether you are shopping for yourself or looking to surprise a loved one, this t-shirt is a fantastic gift option. So, grab one today and join the ranks of Eagles fans proudly wearing their team spirit on their sleeves!

Get it here : Philadelphia Eagles Put Trash In Its Place Funny T-Shirt

Home Page : tshirtslowprice.com

Related : https://kingjain.tumblr.com/post/717216111863709696/peacock-bass-fishing-hawaiian-shirt-man

[fishingtshirts]

Fishing T Shirts

Welcome to our Fishing T Shirts Store! We offer a wide range of high-quality fishing-themed apparel for anglers of all ages and skill levels. Shop our collection of comfortable and stylish fishing t-shirts, hats, hoodies, and accessories. Buy Fishing T Shirts Here!

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[blue-eyed-bloodstains]

Reblog | Bold what applies to you;

You have piercings other than your ear lobes. You have been to a Six Flags theme park. You’ve cheated on a test. The weather is scaring you right now. Someone you love has been arrested before. You’re pro-choice. Your mum has had her menopause. You have a significant other. You’ve done a Zumba Fit dance workout before. One of your parents owns an iPhone. You live with someone other than your parents. Your favorite class at school is science. You have several dogs. You’ve peed the bed. You know a really good drummer. Guitarist. Bassist. Vocalist. You use words like ‘twas and ‘tis. You live in a place where a lot of violence happens. The last person you called on the phone was a relative. You own clothes from American Apparel. You own a Mac computer. You own a BB gun. You’ve held a real working gun. You’ve been to a shooting range. You live near a beach. You’re wearing a blue shirt. You’re wearing jeans. You’re wearing socks. You’re wearing yellow underwear. You’re subscribed to people on Youtube. You play Grand Theft Auto. You prefer showers in the morning. You love freebies. You’ve ridden on a motorbike. Your favorite fast food place is Taco Bell. Your least favorite fast food place is Arby’s. Teachers like you. There is a clock in the room. You are a virgin. You have brown eyes. You have dark brown hair. Your parents aren’t together anymore. You know what a geoduck is. You need to go to the bathroom. You watch Nick. You watch Fox. (certain shows) You or your parents own a holiday house. You own an iPod. You have subscriptions to magazines. You’ve been game fishing. You’ve broken more than one bone at a time. Your TV is bigger than 50cm across. You own a Nintendo Wii. Nintendo 64 (used to) Nintendo DS (used to, have 3DS) Xbox Xbox360 Play Station Portable (PSP) Playstation1 Playstation2 (PS2) (--used to) Playstation3 (PS3) You share a bedroom with someone. You have your own car. You share a car with somebody. You’re a sophomore. You need to shave. A sibling is in the room you’re in. You have had food poisoning. You’re listening to music right now. You know someone who dyed their hair and it went a funny color. You have more important things to do than this. You’ve been whale watching. You’ve visited someone is hospital in the past month. You got swine flu. You own an iPhone. You own an Android phone. You loathe Justin Bieber. You make bets at the Superbowl. You still play kid’s make-believe games. You’ve seen a whale or dolphin in the wild. You’ve walked in on people having sex. You have seen your cousins in the past week. You know someone named Tully. Sam. Tim. Ben. Corey. Chris. Adam. Layla. Amy. Kristy. Jacqui. Ashley. Chloe. Rochelle. You’ve written a sappy love letter to a crush. You want to work in the medical field when you’re older. You live in the suburbs. You can hear birds outside. You have been on vacation with friends. You’ve had to get stitches. You’ve given someone head. You’ve seen an avalanche. There’s someone in the room you just can’t stand. Your last school trip was at least a 5 hour drive. The last ice cream you ate was vanilla flavored. You’re double jointed. (thumbs) You’ve used the words totes . You listen to music in the car. You visit your town library often. You borrow money off your parents. You’ve split your head open. You’re allergic to peanuts. Gluten. Seafood. Artificial colors or flavors. It’s past 12PM where you live. You’ve tried Vegemite. You own all of Fall Out Boy’s albums. You own all of Owl City’s albums. You own all of Linkin Park’s albums. Your grandparents spoil you. You have held a grenade. You’ve been skiing or snowboarding. You can see a body of water from where you are. You enjoy sex scenes in movies. You’ve represented your region, state or country in sport. You got your father chocolate for father’s day. You have bad dandruff. You drove a car today. You say ‘lol’ a lot.(type it a lot) You’ve sent a social networking message to a celebrity. ^And they’ve replied. You’re currently on vacation. You have had chicken pox. You do your own laundry. You like your grandparents. You have a job. You have a cat or a kitten. Freshman year was the best year so far for you. Your mum has had a miscarriage before. You just ate something. You go on vacations with relatives. You live on a road. (backroads) A street. A boulevard. An avenue. A close. Something else. (Drive) You actually listen to the radio sometimes. You’ve witnessed people do drugs. You had chicken for dinner last night. XD You’ve been told you have a really good body. You own a Ministry of Sound CD. You’ve been on a cruise ship. You want to cuddle a certain someone right now. You didn’t sleep well last night. The last museum you went to was maritime. You have books that need to be returned to a library. You used to watch Saturday morning cartoons. You have step siblings. You watch American Idol. So You Think You Can Dance? The Biggest Loser. Big Brother. Wife Swap. The last vaccination you got was for tetanus. Someone has called you sexy and meant it. You’ve tripped on a gutter. You are a perfectionist when it comes to school work. You play first person shooter games. You sleep in a single bed. Double. Queen. King. You listen to rap music.

[stankycowboy]

The only trouble he had ever found with “borrowing” vehicles from their former owners, was never reliably knowing the condition they were in before he was stuck with them. Granted, when the options were four tires and an engine or walking, he would take what he was saddled with. Unfortunately, this meant he was coasting on fumes in the middle of nowhere; that was until he was mercifully presented with the sight of a rundown convenience store— a perfect place to either bed down or snag another ride ( or both ). Just his luck, there was a white pickup in the lot, with not another soul in sight. Coming to a slow stop beside it, he parked the disappointing sedan; foreseeably for the last time. Looking out the driver's side window to the prospective new ride, he gave it a cursory examination— decent enough— then turned his attention inside the store; apparently empty with only the cashier in sight. Dinner and a prize. The prospect was a mighty fine one.

Throwing an arm over the passenger’s side headrest he leans back to look at a crumpled figure messily covered with a heavy blanket. “Sure was nice of you to give me a ride”, he thumps the stiffened body like an old chum, “I’mma ‘fraid this is your last stop”. Rotating back around, he pulls a pair of dark shades from their anchored position in the front of his stained tee. With a practiced motion, he slides the glasses over his eyes, saving himself the aggravation of the irregular indoor lighting; secondarily they would function to help disguise any remnants of his earlier activities. He can’t quite recall how sloppy he had been in the heat of the moment, but his facial appearance was usually less than pristine even when careful. He gives the corpse a nod, a grin, pops the lock on the car door, and steps out into the cool evening air. It is not the slight chill that makes him zip up, but a need to hide the state of his apparel, which he can clearly see is sporting a chaotic spray of maroon around the chest and collar. He has enough experience with the sort of venue he is preparing to enter that he feels fairly certain it would take a lot more to get a rise out of the seemingly catatonic individual manning the counter. Severen highly doubts the man working at midnight gets paid enough to ask questions about-- or to-- customers.

Upon entry there is a jangle of bells, it does not grab the attention of any inside. He does a cursory look in both directions, catching neither scent, nor visible movement of another patron within—they are two. Smoothly sliding his hands into unzipped pockets, he strides over the laminate, boot heels making a dull thud. Still there is no shift from the cashier. It is not until Severen slaps a crumpled $20 bill on the slightly tacky counter that a pair of glazed cornflower eyes lift off the brightly illuminated screen of his phone to meet those shaded from view. “Two packs ‘a Marlboros”, he pats his chest, feeling for the matchbooks he usually keeps there, “box a matches”, the dead eyes slowly blink, “an’ the key’t yer restroom”. Severen flashes his teeth. The thin, unshaven, zombie-like employee turns around to pop out a couple packs, forgoing the usual confirmation of brand and flavor, tosses them onto the counter, fishes out a box of matches from a drawer to place beside them, then rummages under the register for the key-- attached to which is an obnoxious rubber chicken.

“Funny” Severen comments with a snort. He is given no response back. Without bothering to grab his purchases, or wait for the cashier to make his change, the patron takes the key and heads back to the bathroom. Behind him, he can hear the register open— he is fairly certain that the man is planning to short change him— and as he unlocks the door he can hear the sound of cellophane being torn; the grind of a lighter wheel spinning following it. It seems like he bought a third pack the purchaser probably will not be seeing. If it is the man’s last request, he won't begrudge him.

Severen gives a slight shake of his head, then steps inside the dingy closet containing the toilet. Although he is far from squeamish or germaphobic, he makes sure to keep his hands to himself, touching as little as possible-- a hole in the ground would have been a more sanitary affair. After relieving himself in the porcelain water bowl that barely passes for a toilet, he washes his hands with water that somehow makes his hands feel dirtier. The foggy mirror reveals his own shadowed face, hair looking a little shaggier than was to his liking, but overall not as bad as he usually looked after a meal. The questionable darkness in the cracks and corners of his lips could have passed for something innocuous, the spatter coursing up the right side of his face was a little less discreet. Looking harder he could see the telltale indications that he had been on the road for too long, a general grunginess about his person that was not easily washed away; shadows lingering around his sharp, cruel eyes. Perhaps it was due time to pause his hunting spree, head back toward a more stable locale; get a little rest, and stop living like the mongrel he had become accustomed to— allow himself that strange new pleasure of fixed location with plenty of sustenance. Back to Louisiana. That, however, would be a prospect for another evening. For now, he would indulge his insatiable appetite once more, then get himself somewhere he wouldn’t fry.

Done with reminiscing, and thankful the paper towels had been stocked up, he finished cleaning away the most obvious signs of his feasting, then stepped out just in time to hear the clang of the door bells once again. There were no other sounds, so the new customer must have just left, somehow in his reverie he had missed the entrance. By the faint smell of— him— the newcomer had not lingered long; must have come for something in particular without a need to dither. Additionally, there was the cloying smell of a clove cigarette oppressively filling the space; he crinkled his nose involuntarily. Walking back up to the counter, Severen slides the key back to its owner, who produced his earlier purchases from beneath the counter without looking up from the game of cards he was playing. The cigarette callously clutched between the cashier's knuckles wafted the malodorous smoke in the nocturnal hunter's direction, making his jaw clench. The inhuman creature imagined prying open the man’s mouth, dropping the offensive object down his throat, forcing him to choke on it. It would be easy, not even a struggle, but it was in the same moment he was about to indulge his impulse that he caught the slightest tingle; a captivating pull from the mysterious patron outside. It was impossible to describe exactly what it was that he sensed— a charge to the air, a subtle chemical shift— as if summoned, his head turns to watch the other out of the gap in advertisements on the window. Slowly, while staring into the void of stars, the former customer opens his carton, white and red, lifts it to his mouth taking a good gulp. The sight gets Severen grinning. He wouldn’t mind doing just the same. Snagging his smokes, he removes the cellophane and tosses it back on the counter. Tapping the pack in the palm of his hand, he slips a cigarette into the corner of his upturned mouth. As he proceeds toward the door, he strikes a match between two fingers, their roughened texture aiding the trick. He ignites the tip, puffs once, then puts the match out by smothering it in a fist. Reaching the door, he clutches the clump of bells so he can slip outside silently; taking his first full drag, the heady taste of tobacco filling his mouth.

The evening air clears away the suffocating stench-- cleansing. Severen exhales slowly, controlled, while inside his mind reels with dangerous curiosity. Predatorily, he watches the man move away toward his vehicle. Indigo eyes rove over the unassuming profile, trying to make out any detail they can perceive even at this rather unrevealing angle. Everything seems pedestrian, no outward sign of intrigue, nor reason as to why he might be out here, but there is something. It makes Severen’s teeth itch. Another deep inhale, sucking the tip to a glow, he lets the smoke spill out over his lips. In quick strides he closes the distance, hugging the shadows; errantly missing the metallic chime of his spurs, the spirit of their sound stopping him until he realizes it was just the man’s keys. Drawn up short, he notices that he is a little closer than one might consider conventionally tolerable for a stranger; too drawn into the hunt to be cautious. As if to excuse his proximity, looming behind the crouched over klutz, Severen quietly slides his jacket zipper down some to dig out a keychain light from his interior pocket; spotlighting the man’s keys for him. “Careful partner, bad luck gettin’ stranded out here”. He flashes a row of vaguely irregular teeth— their humanoid shape much restored from the earlier filing he had given them. “'Specially in the dark”.

@savagecowboy, ʙʀᴇᴀᴋʀɪᴠᴇʀ, ᴛᴇxᴀꜱ.

A small fly buzzed helplessly against thick plastic covering a flickering fluorescent light. Every other minute the yellowing stripe of illumination made a small mechanical sound, blinked, and for a second the insect’s silhouette ceased to exist.

“ wanna bag. ” tired or apathetic, it was anyones guess. A cashier lazily slid a carton of what was either local or off - brand milk across a scanner. It slid to the end of the checkout, bouncing back an inch or so after making impact with a half - wall. Tom’s gaze dropped down from the ceiling to the gruff employee who blew smoke out his nose, waiting for him to answer. “ 𝘶𝘩 - no. ” To make up the time lost by his belated response, Buckley hastily dug his wallet out the pocket of his dark blue zip - up hoodie. He handed two dollars to the cashier, who didn’t even bother to count the cash before stuffing it into the register and slamming its small drawer shut.

“ thank you. ” Buckley muttered, shoving the canvas wallet back in his pocket and grabbing the red and white carton he purchased. The employee grunted looking back down at his mobile game of solitaire. Tom leisurely crossed the dusty concrete floor to a set of glass doors at the store’s entrance. It was a clear night. no clouds, no humidity. The temperature was reasonable — at least, it was during the night. He stood at the curb in front of the establishment, looking up at the endless sky and full moon as he opened his carton. amazing how many stars you can see when you’re out in the middle of nowhere …

Taking a sip of milk, Tom surveyed the parking lot. 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯, aside from his rental and two cars parked close together. Buckley assumed the white pick - up to be the cashier’s. The other must have belonged to a customer browsing the other end of the store … he didn’t notice anyone else during his after - hours hunt for a cool beverage to keep in the motel fridge.

As easing as the flat landscape and endless horizon was, It was time to head back. A yawn crept up the back of Tom’s throat as he ambled over to a grey ford. It crawled to the top of his mouth and finally escaped as he stared into the vehicle’s tinted window and reached into his hoodie. clink. Buckley looked down. Between his feet, resting on the asphalt ground, was his ring of keys. He crouched beside the bottom of the driver’s - side door and muttered under his breath, “ no wonder you broke your camera … can’t even hold onto your car keys — ”

[aceofshitposts]

1. love dust!!! it's the OG that led me to you, it has a special place in my heart ♡ 6. tim giving jason that "women want me, fish fear me" hat lives RENT FREE in my head 😂 9. speaking of which I DEFINITELY am looking forward to finding out how all roads to the see ends, and 14. all roads to the see again! I'm not usually one for mer fic but it's just SO PERFECT I can't help but love it. but also extra bonus 9 for lay no flowers upon my grave... I am VERY curious about that one 👀

you know something really funny i never expected love dust to get that much attention i was just like haha silly what if this thing got tim to realise he has feelings and i guess everyone else went YEAH WHAT IF?? so here we are 😂 but i'm glad it was able to lead you here 🥺

you have no idea how hard i cackled about giving jason the had and shirt. i was like "i know wet clothes is meant to be sexy but what if it was just hilarious instead" and here we are. a grumpy ass merman in different fish themed apparel. I'm so glad you like All Roads I remember you saying you weren't really into mermaid stuff 😭😭😭 that's high praise!!!

[HASTILY BURRYING LAY NO FLOWERS BECAUSE I KEEP GOING BACK AND REWRITING THINGS CUZ I'M NOT SATISFIED WITH IT] that being said there are two scenes i'm really excited for and remain unchanged in my plot rewrites but i gotta get through a bunch of other procedural bs to get to them 😂 maybe after i finish all roads