#France England finale and I'm quitting for good

[charlyritter]

Listen I'm back to hating football

[oumaheroes]

I'm so sorry if I'm bothering, but reading "The Captain" has seriously floored, contaminated and infected me and I'm making a playlist inspired by it - But I was wondering if you had thoughts on Alfred and his people in that context? Because I... Like cowboy Alfred and I can't emphasize enough how many stories would emerge from Alfred losing a dual, lying dead on the ground, just to be gone by dawn and seen again in the next town over on death row to be hanged, just to be seen alive again some time later?

Like, it gives campfire stories and western-tales! 🥹

The Cowboy

Characters: America

The Captain (England)

The Artist (France)

The Cleaner (Scotland)

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Some say there are monsters out on the plains.

Unholy things. Dangerous things. Things that no man should see, and that would drive him mad if he ever did.

The cowboy does not believe all this. He believes in truth, cold and bitter. Life is hard out here, that is true, and sometimes a hard life does things to a man. Turns him inside out with wanting and regret. Makes him yowl for his momma at night like a child from loneliness. Cold nights, bitter winds, and dust choked skies- miles and miles with nothing but the hot sun and ghosts of old lives nipping at your heels.

Because to choose a life on the plains alone is to have come from something. To go far into the desert and stay there means that there is sanctuary in the sands that cannot be found in a town, or a village. And that life changes those who live it. Makes them see their fears manifested in order to understand them. Forces them to acknowledge their wrongs and mistakes by trapping them alone.

The cowboy is no different. He’s seen many things he wishes he hadn’t. Has done many more besides.

There’d been a boy. Many summers ago.

Bright blue eyes, golden hair. Rough broad hands of a working man, but the expensive clothes of a comfortable one. He’d rolled into town with fear behind his wide smile; twitchy fingers and a need for work with no questions asked. He’d been running from things, that was clear, and the cows don’t ask no questions. Nor do cowboys in need of able hands.

He’d been good. Been quick. Great with horses, could calm even the most spooked or rowdy with just a touch. A real gift for them, and a real love for the plains. He grew tall under the wide blue skies, expanded his chest outwards as he rode in a way that made you look at him. Talked much, talked often, but without saying anything at all.

When he’d died, the cowboy didn’t know who to send for. The boy had never mentioned his father, hadn’t spoken of his momma, not even in passing. No family and not even a family name to claim him. He’d had to leave him out there to the sun, nothing but a bright red blanket over his face to offer him shade and the cowboy’s own rings on his eyes to pay for something he didn’t quite understand. It had felt right. It had felt inadequate.

He’d been too young.

The memory of the boy haunts him. The cowboy sees their final ride in his dreams, sees the herd change direction and sees the boy react too late. Sees him realise across the cattle that he was pinned- rock of the canyon on one side, and the stampede the other. He caught the cowboy’s eye and that, that moment of knowing, seared something into him that the cowboy knows he will never forget.

Over the thunder of a thousand hooves, the boy’s scream is an unanswerable battle cry he still wakes to, even now.

The cowboy keeps moving. The herds do not stop. Rides must be finished. Life goes on.

He goes it alone. Wrings out his soul in the dust, lets it boil over with regret. Then he gets another partner. Then another. The cowboy is older, too old these days to head on out to watch the cattle without someone he trusts at his back. The world is changing around them but this life does not change, does not grow easier. Only harder, as his bones begin to hurt and his eyes can no longer spot unfriendly shapes moving in the shadows.

One night and a shared fire like any other- three men and a dog in the middle of nowhere- the cowboy looks up to see a face he knows all too well. It has been years, decades, but the boy’s face is unchanged. Still milk smooth, still full and whole.

He has a chain around his neck that glitters in the firelight. Thin gold links that hold up familiar rings, unused payment for a journey not taken. He catches the cowboy’s eye over a whisper of long ago screams and nods.

There are monsters out on the plains.

Things that creep around campsites, things that stir in the night. Things that wear the faces of long dead men, that put on old skin like clothes and come to sit quietly by your side.

The cowboy cannot look at him. He hears him breathing as the men around them talk, feels the warmth of the boy’s arm through this jacket.

‘Well met,’ the cowboy manages, and offers his old friend his flask to drink from.

The boy does not take it. He looks up at the stars, bright and endless above them, and holds the cowboy’s rings in one hand.

‘Strange, isn’t it?’ he says softly, ‘What things we can sometimes think we see.’

The cowboy’s heartbeat beats loud in his ears, ‘Too much sun does things to a man.’

‘It does.’ The boy turns and looks back. His eyes are old, hard things, ‘I’ve heard people tell all sorts of tales. Drunken ghost stories no sane man would believe.’

The cowboy’s gut screams a warning, that he is but prey in front of predator. He knows to listen, has enough sense not to question, ‘I’m too sane to believe most things.’

He meets the boy’s eye and does not look away. The fire before them cracks, and the boy breathes. There is no other sound. Then, he smiles, teeth emerging white and gleaming. It doesn’t reach his eyes. Maybe, it never did.

‘Well met, friend.’ the boys says. He claps the cowboy’s shoulder and settles back. The cowboy’s chest feels lighter, ‘I think we’ll get along just fine.’

I couldn't help myself Sunny, I was instantly inspired and it's all your fault

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AN

As it was written so quickly this may well change, but the idea wouldn't leave me alone and I had to get it out there

If this story is to have a song, it's 'Ghost Rider's' by Johnny Cash which is, and always will be, an utter banger.

[moriartyluver]

FALSE LOVERS CHAPTER X

"I MUST ADMIT, my lady, you are possibly the calmest bride I have ever worked with," said the wedding stylist as she styled (name)'s hair. "Most brides would be panicking about..well..everything I suppose. It seems love really does conquer all, that is why you're so well composed, is it not?"

The day for the wedding had finally arrived and although (name) was very good at concealing her feelings, as usual, she was still incredibly nervous. The wedding of Lady (name) (last name) to Lord William James Moriarty was the most spoken one of the season. Most members of the ton could all agree that the couple seemed to not only look good together but also were incredibly in love. As soon as the engagement was announced, those who had known William and (name) during their university days had spoken of their apparently 'flirtatious' relationship in their youth and one of (name)'s university friends had even said they had a bet of £90 that the two would eventually be married.

The first half of the ceremony would take place first and then the reception would be held in the Grand Duke's large celebration hall. From what (name) had seen on the guest list, there were at least 500 people apart from the family attending the wedding. She had told Albert and William that she didn't wish for a large ceremony but it appeared that her parents had other plans. Many of the upper class members of (home country) had come to visit England just for the wedding and there was even going to be British royalty at the wedding.

"Indeed, although the butterflies in my stomach are certainly there, but thanks to my family and dear William, I have no reason to worry." (Name) smiled as she looked into her reflection. She was all dolled up in a grand wedding dress, one that could put even Queen Victorias wedding dress to shame. The dress was white but cultural aspects from (home country) were incorporated into the design. Once more, only the best for (name) (last name).

A woman with dirty blond hair and green eyes behind (name) let out a girlish squeal. "Is this not so incredibly exciting, (nickname)?" She placed her gloved hand to her cheek "how I wish to find love!"

"I'm sure you'll find someone by next season, Lady Arabella," said one of the bridesmaids to the head bridesmaid.

Arabella Sinclair was a fairly close friend of (name). They had met in university but Arabella had left university only a year in to study abroad in France. She was two years older than (name) but acted a lot more energetic than her and had quite the bubbly personality.

Of course they weren't as close as (name) and her close allies such as Josephine or William but she had the role of (name)'s closest friend in the nobility and was always there for good conversation when (name) needed it. She had requested that lady Sinclair  become one of her bridesmaid and her head one at that. She was a trustworthy girl and although she hadn't known anything regarding (name)'s criminal double life, her family, lead by Viscount Sinclair, was one of those families that had received the remaining Ashfordshire maids.

"Miss Winchester is right," (name) said as she turned to face her bridesmaids, all dressed in (favourite colour) dresses. "I'm sure many men will come calling for you soon, bella!"

Once her hair was done, the stylist clasped a necklace around (name)'s neck. A (last name) family heirloom. Her mother and her grandmother and her great grandmother and their mothers had all worn this beautiful necklace at their weddings so it was only normal that (name) carry on the tradition. It was a strange reminder to her that she was no longer the young girl who would 'accidentally' lock herself in her family library for hours on end to isolate herself  or spar with her father or take etiquette classes with her mother which usually ended with the two of them in tears of laughter. She was now a woman with greater responsibility, and that was indeed scary.

"Oh (name)? you're not worried about the wedding night, are you?" Asked a Lady Beatrice Harrington, the only married woman out of all three bridesmaids. "I promise you, dear, it's not as scary as our mamas make it out to be."

(Name) could instantly feel her face heat up. Her throat grew dry and she could see Josephine, who was wearing a maid uniform with a (favourite colour) flower in her hair, giggling in the corner at her lady's now cracking facade. She was a lot more concerned about having to kiss William in front of everyone and  would have at least appreciated a chance to practice before hand.

"You do know what happens on the wedding night, do you not?" The noir-ette asked with concern. It wouldn't be much of a surprise considering almost everything was taboo in such an era but a woman like (name) surely would have had some knowledge on the subject.

(Name) nodded furiously as the stylist attempted to reapply rouge onto her face although it seemed she didn't recall toy need it. "Of course I do! I have read enough fiction books to—"

"(Name), dear?" Her mother called out to her as she opened the door. The stylist had finally finished with (name)'s makeup and she was ready to leave to become 'lady Moriarty' soon. "your due to walk down the aisle any minute now."

"Ladies, please slow me some privacy whilst we speak," (name) said as everyone left.

(Mothers name) approached her daughter and rested her hand on her shoulder. "Being nervous is completely normal, (name). I did tell your father not to invite so many people but he insisted on showing off his precious daughter to as many people as possible..." she trailed off, and expression of concern evident on her elegant face. "Remember, as much as I approve of Lord William, as does your father, if he attempts to do anything you wish not to..well we didn't train you in various forms of combat for nothing, dearest."

"I'll be fine, mother...I just.." she struggled to find the words. "I'm afraid of..well..being regretful I suppose.."

The grand duchess looked at her daughter skeptically. "If you really love him, you won't regret anything. After our little meeting with the boy and you went aside, I could clearly see how you loved each other in your own way. Please don't feel like you have to pretended to be a certain way just for our sake, (name)." The older woman kneeled down to face her daughter "I was once like you, a girl who never thought I could love. It seemed impossible but once I had met your father..things changed. One thing you can count on is that hearts can change, and there is no shame in having your heart change." She said as she pointed to (name)'s chest where her heart would be. "Of course you dislike the feeling at first, and you try to excuse that feeling of love as hatred. But the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference..You seem to have struggled with emotional vulnerability since your brother —"

The grand duchess paused as if she felt she had said something wrong, noticing her daughter momentarily freeze up "I'll make you late to your own wedding. Come along so your father can walk you down the aisle."

"Yes mother," (name) smiled as she leaned forwards to hug (mothers name) briefly "thank you"

As The Grand Duke took his daughter on his arm and walked her down the aisle with her bridesmaids trailing behind her, he seemed to be tearing up. Her father was possibly the most emotional out of herself and the grand duke and duchess. Her mother had a rare but completely genuine smile on her face as she sat by the side. William was stood by the alter with Albert stood behind him as his best man and Louis stood beside the brunette.

"Do you, (name) (last name), take William James Moriarty as your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do..?" (Name) said, although it sounded slightly unsure as she slid William's wedding ring onto his finger.

William smiled as he watched (name) avert her gaze. She had looked completely beautiful as she walked down the aisle. Indeed the dress was gorgeous but the woman wearing it had incomparable beauty, superior to that of angels. Not only did her countenance exude an air of absolute elegance, but she had seemed, although nervous, genuinely content even though the marriage was certainly not one done out of the love they had pretended to have.

"William James Moriarty, do you take (name) (last name) to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

He slid the wedding ring onto (name)'s finger "I do." William answered with a smile, lifting up the veil over (name)'s face slowly which was the only shield to hide her flushed face and now was gone, leaving her feeling vulnerable.

(Name) turned her head slightly to see her parents who were smiling at her, and her father seemed to crying out of joy, blowing his nose as her mother consoled him.

"You may now kiss the bride"

And with that, William gently lifted up (name)'s chin so she was now facing him, multiple nervous trains of thought running through her mind. This was not her first kiss, but all the others were meaningless methods of seduction as were all her previous intimate interactions with men, however this kiss was with William, and that instantly created an attached meaning to it that (name) would rather not face.

"Keep calm, my love, follow my lead.." William whispered against (name)'s lips before pressing them together and shutting his eyes, cupping her cheek softly and shielding the sight with his hand as the crowd of nobles cheered.

(Name) felt her entire body freeze up and then melt under her now husband's gentle touch, closing her eyes with him. Just as their lips were about to part and only rested against each other, william leaned in once more with parted lips to kiss (name) again, this time a lot more passionately than the first.

Eventually, william pulled away, took (name)'s hand in his own and raised it up to his lips to kiss before taking it in his and walked back down the aisle with his newly wedded bride into the carriage to take them to the reception.

The reception was very typical for one of the era. There was a banquet and the wedding cake, which was quite tall and the details were very intricate and once the ceremony was over and (name) had thrown the bouquet, which had coincidentally landed in the arms of a certain Lady Arabella Sinclair. (Name) had acted as ladylike as possible, speaking to guests from both the country she currently resided aswell as the one she was raised in, although the greetings seemed to have been prolonged and it seemed the noble lady was attempting to make the reception last longer than it should have been as if she wished for the day to never end.

(Name) had danced with her father, who was in complete tears after the wedding, sobbing about how much his little girl had grown and how proud he was of her. It was strange to think that this same man was renowned for his strength in battles and his ruthless strategic capabilities.

"I know I've said this already, (name), but I really cannot believe how much you've grown and matured so well in my absence" Her father said to her after wiping his tears away

(Name) chuckled as the grand duke had spun her around "do you remember when you were teaching me to dance when I was but a little girl? you would twirl me around like a whirlwind."

"Ah, my dear (name), those were the days..!" (Father's name) smiled as he moved in sync with his daughter "You had the grace of a swan even then, and I tried my best to keep up with your boundless energy, so much so that your mother had to act as my second whenever I would feel too tired to continue."

A melancholic smile made its way onto (name)'s face as she remembered her fond childhood memories. "I recall the time we attempted the quadrille and ended up a tangled mess of feet. We laughed so hard, we had tears streaming down our faces. Poor mother had to help us regain our composure."

"We were a sight to behold, sweet (name)! No dancer could ever match our expertise!" The grand duke laughed as the orchestral music slowly came to a halt. The two paused and bowed there head to one another. "Promise to visit often?"

"I have never broken a promise, Father." (Name) said as he painted a kiss on her forehead as the melancholic melody of a piano slowly stopped echoing throughout the opulent ballroom.

The newly weds had ended the night with a dance and a short speech from Albert, which wasn't actually as fabricated as (name) had initially assumed it would have been. He had spoken of his observations of the two and although he lied about them seeming like a match made in heaven, it was still fairly accurate.

Eventually the time had come for (name) and William to enter their horse drawn white wedding carriage to take them on a short journey away from the (last name) ballroom, which was unattached to their large family manor in England, to sleep in their designated room.

Once they had entered, (name) had noticed the door had been locked after them and looked at william, who was about to enter the dressing room attached.

(Name) coughed, trying to appear less awkward than she really felt as she watched William pause. "Ahem..are we not meant to.." she looked away, clearly embarrassed "nevermind —"

"There wasn't anything in the contract about consummating the marriage," the blonde said as her approached (name), leaning against the wall beside her, holding her face in his hands "but of course, if you wish to do so, I wouldn't object. As long as you are the one to initiate such intimate activities..~"

The flushed bride moved away out of reflex and stuttered out a "Ha- No way..!!"

William replied with a gentle smile and left to get changed into his pyjamas while (name) attempted to remove her many accessories and put them away. Once it was her turn to get dressed, she had faced a terrible struggle.

The zipper on her dress wasn't working.

(Name) kept tugging at it, but suddenly tripped on the trail of her wedding dress and tripped over, falling to the ground.

Thud

A knock came from the other side of the door "(Name)? Are you alright? I heard a thud-"

"Get this damn dress off of me." William heard his wife grumble from the other side of the door.

A pale hand reached down to the doorknob and opened the door slowly, covering his eyes with hand as he walked into the room.

"You can take you hand off your face, I'm fully clothed." (Name) said. William did as she said and saw her lying on the floor, her hair disheveled and in quite the tangle, as if she were trying to fight the dress whilst it was still on her.

Once she was helped up and untangled by her husband, William unzipped the dress and undid (name)'s corset. Her heart was thumping so loud and her face felt so warm she had hoped he wouldn't notice. Of course, the blond has seen through her instantly and instead of acting how a gentleman should have, he found it would be amusing to rile her up even more, causing him to place a kiss to her nape.

Chu

(Name) twisted around to face him, clutching her dress to her chest dearly. "What the-" she glared "what in God's name was that for?!" William laughed softly.

"My apologies, dearest," he said as he ran his fingers through her disheveled hair "where did you place your nightgown?"

"You don't need to help me get dressed, I'm perfectly fine now, you may leave." She said as she glanced at the little garment bag hanging by the side.

William nodded and left to sleep. The two were only to sleep here for the night, as the first night of the honeymoon, and then board a ship to (home country) to leave with (name)'s parents to stay for a week before returning to London where (name) would move into the Moriarty Manor and live with William and his brothers, louis and Albert (along with Josephine who (name) couldn't dream of leaving behind to stay working for the Marquis)

They had chosen to have the wedding in summer, which had now proven to be not the best idea considering britain had all of a sudden chosen to have correctly corresponding weather to the season but at least the room had good ventilation.

"This nightgown is incredibly thin..although I suppose it is suitable for the climate I can't help but feel.."(name) trailed off as she walked towards the 4 poster bed "It's rather revealing isn't it, william?"

Red eyes looked up and down her figure. She was right. It was rather revealing, after all, it was 'wedding night attire' although not so revealing it would cause (name) to feel too uncomfortable in wearing it around her 'husband'. The gown was made of a silky like material and somewhat translucent although nothing indecent was exposed. It was also quite short so that it the gown had ended at her thigh and the top half was certainly..something. He had to admit, it looked just as beautiful as her wedding dress did on her.

"Is this your attempt at seducing me?" William asked, his voice low and sultry, (name) could have easily accused him of the same thing.

(Name)'s face flushed as she wrapped her arms around her chest "No..! I swear I didn't have any u-ulterior motives!"

William let out a soft chuckle which soon erupted into hushed laughter. His wife repeatedly asked him what he was laughing at and he finally replied as he wiped a tear away from his eye from laughing so hard " Ah, I’m sorry, darling. Were there no other nightgowns available?"

"This is a guest room so it holds none of my personal belongings, and the other options were a lot more..." she explained, her implications as clear as she could make them. "Now that you mention it though, I could always wear a robe or something of the sort over it.."

William watched as his wife climbed into the large bed with him. (Name) had specifically requested it to be so that her then husband to be would be comfortable sleeping beside her.  "Nonsense, it's much too warm for that.”

“You only say that because the only country you’ve ever been is England and you have yet to face the heat that many of the countries I have visited,” (name) retorted “I’ll be perfectly fine.”

(Name) was about to get up and find a bathrobe to wear over her ‘nightgown’ only to feel william’s hand wrapping around her wrist and pulling her down onto the bed. He let go and unbuttoned his shirt as (eye colour) eyes widened in surprise.

“H-Hey I thought you said I had to initiate it..?” (Name) said as she averted her gaze, trying not to let her eyes wander.

Instead of pinning her down to the bed or kissing her like (name) had read a man would likely do, William handed her his nightshirt and as expected for the weather, was not wearing anything beneath it.

“You can wear this over it.” He said as (name) looked at him hesitantly, attempting to maintain eye contact.

She nodded and slipped the shirt on, laying back on the bed then propping herself up with her elbows. She took three of the many pillows on the bed as William tried to lie beside her and put them as a barrier between the two. “That’s your side and this is my side. If you cross the barrier I’ve set between us..I’ll…I’ll bite you..!”

“Depending on where you bite me, I wouldn’t mind” (name) instantly threw a pillow at his smug face.

After laying in bed for what had seemed like hours, (name) eventually got up to get some fresh air. The summer air had certainly gotten to her and the pillow barrier she had set up had long fallen apart. She looked over to see William to see if he was still awake or not.

“Fast asleep..lucky man..” she whispered as she brushed a strand of hair away from his face.

She turned to face the balcony doors, which were shut but the curtains surrounding them had not been drawn, allowing (name) to see the ethereal moon casting its silvery glow upon the tranquil countryside that the family manor was in.

As she was about to open the door to enter it, she felt a hand grasp at her nightgown. The (hair colour)-ette turned around to see her tired husband rubbing his eyes.

“(Name)…where are you going..?” He said in a groggy, tired voice “..stay..stay with me..”

The woman in question pried his hand off of her and smiled. “I’m just going to get some fresh air out on the balcony. I’m not leaving this room, don’t fret.”

“I’m coming with you,” he said, his voice now sounding a little less like a whining plea as he sat up and then stood up beside (name), who looked away once more.

Once they had sat at the balcony, (name) took the shirt and handed it to William again. “What's this for?" He asked, still evidently tired

(Name) thrust the crumpled shirt at him "Wear it."

"But I gave it to you"

"And now I'm giving it back." She said, glad the darkness of the night prevented William from seeing how truly embarrassed she felt. "Besides, I can't talk to you properly when you're topless. Is this your strange attempt at showing your muscles off to me?"

William let out a chuckle and gestured to his torso "Believe me  ,dear (name), there isn't much muscle to show off"

"There's nothing wrong with that. In fact I would much prefer lean and slim to muscular and large." (Name) said looking him up and down. He was more slim than muscular but I here was a slight outline of abs on his stomach , although she hadn't realised what she had said until afterwards when William let out another teasing remark

"So you're saying that you find me attractive...?~"

She didn't say anything.

"Why couldn't you sleep?"

(Name) sighed and looked up at the stars, watching for any constellations. She pointed up at the sky "look, it's Cepheus.."

William looked up too, spotting another constellation besides it "and so is Cassiopeia.."

(Name) finally spoke up and answered William's question. "I was just overthinking, nothing new to me..I struggle with sleeping quite a bit anyways..it must have been too warm."

"I understand. I have a strange habit of falling asleep at various times during the day due to overexertion." William said, fidgeting with the crumpled shirt.

"You do? So do I..!" (Name) exclaimed with a smile "I suppose we have something in common then."

"Indeed we do.." William continued watching the sky then turned to look at (name) for a minute or two before speaking once more, ending the comfortable silence "the moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?"

"It's covered by clouds..and it's not that clear as it was earlier when you were still asleep, but in theory, you're right.." (name) said as she looked up, unaware of William watching her with a soft gaze.

The two continued to watch the sky in silence, until (name) yawned. She laughed slightly as she whispered a 'pardon me'.

"Are you finally feeling tired, love?" Her husband asked with a teasing grin

(Name) nodded "Don't call me-" she yawned again. "I was beginning to feel as though I would be awake forever. The fresh air really did seem to have helped."

William held his hand out to her which she took with ease as he guided them back to their shared bed. Once they had got back under the bedsheets, the blond had noticed (name) was clutching a pillow as she shit her eyes whilst she tried to drift to sleep.

"Why are you holding that pillow as if it were a real person?" He asked, turning over on his side to face her back.

(Name) turned around so they were now looking at one another. "It's cold, and holding something always helps me sleep."

"You can hold me." William said, trying to appear as confident as possible despite his heart thumping against his chest. He reached over for the pillow in her arms and tossed it aside. (Name) rolled her eyes and glared at him

"You're getting bold." She said, awkwardly wrapping her arms around his torso and resting her head against his chest, keeping her eyes shut as if she were trying to avoid temptation.

A pale hand snaked around her waist as they embraced one another. Within seconds, William could see (name) now sleeping soundly in his arms, right before he did the same and shut his eyes to sleep. 

“Good night, my love.”

A/N: Hey fl what were those books you were reading???🤨🤨Also can someone get the astronomy and moon reference (including the cloud bit) please and thank you. Finally got the long-awaited wedding chapter. Also little insight to fl backstory in her mothers monologue. Fl be like “I hate William 😡” and then cuddles with him while he’s shirtless. We're gonna have a little time skip next chapter and then move onto the main plot. With that, Act I is over! Thank you all for your support, it's very much appreciated. Bye byeee

[hpowellsmith]

March Reading

I read a lot of books this month, and had great luck with how much I enjoyed them! Favourites are bolded.

Brute: Stories of Dark Desire, Masculinity & Rough Trade - ed. Steve Berman

A collection of dark erotica stories about queer men: a variety of horror, thriller, and character studies. Some didn't entirely land for me as they were just a bit too gruesome for me to entirely enjoy, but I did love 'Dark, Firm, and Dry' by Rien Gray, 'Dick Pig' by Ian Muneshwar, and 'The Boy Who Went Forth To Learn What Fear Was by LC Von Hessen'; 'Suitcase Sam' by Tom Cardamone was horrific enough to disturb me afterwards. There were a few trans guy protagonists but amid a lot of lovingly-described gigantic cis men, trans men didn't get described as objects of desire; it made me realise how much I'd like to read more erotica or steamy romance where a trans man is written in the lavish/idealised/thirsty way a lot of the cis men were in this collection. It was also interesting that most of the protagonists were strongly submissive; it's sparked off a lot of offline conversations about erotic fiction and depictions of kink therein, and my own thoughts about how I write erotic scenes (though I don't consider what I write intensely kinky). I'd enjoy writing more about this subject but I'm not sure Tumblr is the place for it; maybe a blogpost one day?

Love Kills Twice - Rien Gray

I adored this high-heat F/NBi romantic suspense book. The characters were hot and appealing, with a lot of substance and groundedness to them along with it. The plot was tight and I devoured the whole thing at top speed. Much recommended!

The Salt Path - Raynor Winn

A memoir about a fifty-year-old farmer and her husband who became homeless and walked England's South West Coast Path. Powerful and evocative in places: I enjoyed it, though some of the descriptions and dialogue of the people encountered melted into one another a bit. I'm realising that I rather like these people-hit-rock-bottom-and-walk-in-the-wilderness-about-it books. They always inspire me to look outward and get outdoors, albeit in a lower-key way.

The Eye in the Door - Pat Barker (reread)

This was quite nostalgic for me, because I read it a long time ago (before the first in the series, actually). I like elements of it more than Regeneration - getting to know Billy Prior better, the city scenes, depiction of queerness and homophobia beyond what Siegfried Sassoon talks about in Regeneration, some of the socialist politics and class consciousness - but the main plot hadn't fully stuck with me. I think I see why: there are several long sequences that I found hard to focus on, and some of it is a bit strange, veering into depictions of multiple-personality-disorder that have been pretty debunked nowadays. Still, I enjoyed revisiting it. The sense that William Rivers is on the verge of breakdown feels palpable and gripping.

Love Bleeds Deep - Rien Gray

Justine and Campbell are on a not-so-idyllic not-exactly-honeymoon in France, growing accustomed to life together and the combination of enjoying a private life and Campbell's deadly occupation. This doesn't shy away from the psychological damage both leads have suffered, while also showing exactly how much they mean to each other. Again I loved it just as much as the first one.

Love Burns Bright - Rien Gray

So many romance books focus on the sexy getting-together part, and sequels don't always keep the spark going. But this series is so good for that and for keeping the emotional connections between the gorgeous characters. In this one, we meet Justine's family, which is already fraught as Justine wasn't in a position to be in touch with them for a long time - but things soon get complicated. I loved it.

A Love So Dark - Rien Gray

Such a good finale for an amazing dark queer romance series! The relationship between Justine and Campbell is beautifully drawn and as hot as ever - no weird misunderstandings or other relationship-drama nonsense - but their situation is anything but settled as some consequences from earlier books come back to haunt them. What a fantastic series this is! Some of the books I've read about nonbinary characters treat them as learning opportunities, or as nice best friends, or as a vehicle for positive rep, and I can't tell you how refreshing it is to see a fully-formed, hot, flawed, adult nonbinary character making their way through excellent thriller plots. I love Campbell and Justine and I'm sorry to see them go, but it was an amazing ride with them.

Valerin the Fair - Rien Gray

A beautifully-written fantasy novella, the first in the Out of True series about sapphic knights. The details are so lovely - they remind me of what I loved about the prose style in Spear by Nicola Griffith - and the intimate scenes are stunning. You can download this for free, so if this sounds like your cup of tea, do give it a look!

[nik-jr-lit]

Some other M. Paul x Lucy moments that literally had me laughing out loud (or smiling)

the time Rosine begged Lucy to go into M. Paul's class to deliver a message because he was in such a pissy mood and likes Lucy better so she goes in and gives the message that he's needed at the local college and he's all "that's nice but i'm not going" and she just pushes his hat towards his hand but oh no his glasses fall off the desk and literally both of the lenses bust and now she's actually scared but before she can even get an apology out of her mouth he hops up, says "well, what a little mischief maker! what a nefarious little englishwoman!! guess i'll have to go if you're going to threaten me like that! :-)", puts his hat on, and leaves.

later on that night when he comes to the school to read aloud to the pupils and teachers and he forgoes his normal spot to go sit next to Lucy (aw) and she moves to give him room but he says "no don't" but she scooches a little anyway and he immediately gets pissed and is all "oh so you want to treat me like an outcast?! you want distance?!! fine!" and he literally makes everyone else at the table get up and move to the other one and grabs Lucy's stuff and puts all of it on the other side of the table so it's just them at opposite ends and he says "happy?" and she's all "you were the one who wanted it like this..?" and he said "no! you were the one who did this!!" and then he reads a French translation of Shakespeare and Lucy is not at all hiding her disdain and he looks up and sees every single eyeroll and smirk and omfg he's getting so pissed but it's dinner time now and she's engrossed in making her watchguard and tbh she's feeling giddy and smug because making M. Paul so flustered and annoyed was fucking fun and she was enjoying it. he gets up without saying a word, strides towards the door, but turns back for his pencil case and...he puts his pencil in...takes it out...breaks the lead against the table...resharpens it...puts it in his pocket...and finally walks up to Lucy. he asks her what she's working on and she says she's making a watchguard for one of her gentleman friends and omg he's really mad now, i mean he's seriously fuming; he's saying she's impossible to be friends with and that he has never done anything wrong but she continues to regard him with passionate injustice and rebellion and she's all "what? :(" and he's, again, immediately apologizing and correcting himself and saying that she does have good qualities but if she'd quit flirting and caring so much for people whose only good quality was being tall and if she dressed more modestly then things would be better. a few moments pass and he's all, "did what i just said make you hate me? :(" but no, all is well and as he's going out the door he says "it's not that you don't look good in your clothes...it's just....nevermind, continue dressing as you do! goodnight!"

M. Paul's party day when Lucy didn't give him a gift and he asked "in really tragic tones" whether all the presents had been given because he wanted hers, only cared about a gift from her and she was starting to get that giddy feeling again from pissing him off, and she literally tells us as the reader that because he cared so much about whether she got him a gift, he fucking deserved to be fooled and get pissed and if that doesn't make you laugh i don't know what will. then he decides to make his party speech about how much England sucks and the things he says just get nastier and nastier until Lucy can't take it anymore, slams her hand on her desk, and says "long live England, fuck France!" and everyone in the room is gasping but M. Paul is hiding his grin behind his handkerchief because, yes, they both love riling the other up. he ends his speech by saying that he's going to take the whole class out to breakfast on the first day of spring and makes sure to say "only my friends are invited" and Lucy says "i won't be there!" and he says "fine!!"

omfg the fact that he was leaving goodies in her desk, correcting papers for her, and, when he's caught, he asks her earnestly whether she likes the things he leaves her.

how he accused Lucy of playing dumb, knowing Latin and Greek, and plagiarizing because she's a fast learner, but then he brags to his academic friends how smart she is <3

[realmadridfamily]

Honestly Madrid players haven't done well in these continental tournaments :(

France was underwhelming, same for Brazil. Germany gave a good game but they're out. At least Arda gave good games and even scored a fantastic goal. Modric is definitely no longer fit for 90 minutes. I feel bad for Valverde after the mess in Copa America.

Only Dani (and Nacho and Joselu sort of) can say they've done okay. Oh and Jude is also there carrying England.

You don't even know how much I miss Real Madrid. Let them go home now!

This is a very good tournament for Dani and it's not shocking that his teammates from the Spanish national team are talking about the Ballon d'Or for him or about being among the candidates … it's a pity that people don't realize what he does for this team and how much fear there was before the match against France because of his absence. Nacho is Nacho. He showed that he is not here by accident. And well… I will keep my fingers crossed for Spain on Sunday, especially for them. Because this is their last chance and they deserve it not only because of their current condition, but also because of their entire career. Anyway, Spain is the best team at Euro in my eyes and they played the best matches. I feel sorry for Fede because individually this tournament was good for him. How this guy develops from year to year and what an example he becomes for others is very impressive. Our future captain! Brazil … Rodrygo hasn't been himself for a few months, so it's not a surprise for me. I'm worried that maybe it's a mental problem. Vinicius tried to do something (which sometimes seemed selfish), but it's difficult when you have three rivals around you and no help from your teammates. He won a penalty or two for Brazil, but the referee, well… maybe I'd better keep quiet, but I want to point out that it could have looked different at the end. I will leave Endrick alone because he is still a young boy with no experience. He still has time. I talked about Militao a few days ago… the fact that he took part in the Copa America at all is admirable. He played quite well, but was unlucky in the penalty shootout. Well, life. England, like France, played below any expectations. Looking at their names, we expected much more. Of course, I didn't expect fireworks from Jude due to his health problems, but he helped his team a lot on the way to the final. Thanks to this, he is still in the fight for the Ballon d'Or or maybe he has taken the lead. Anyway, the match against the Netherlands was England's best match at the Euro. They deserved to play in the final. France… tell me what you want, but Mbappe's performance in this tournament is not just bad luck with his nose, but a summary of the entire difficult season. Physically he was not properly prepared and mentally he was tired. It was visible. Cama played well when he could be on the pitch and Tchou had good and bad moments, although I was worried about him because of the injury from which he had just recovered. Mendy didn't have a chance to perform properly. But France also had their chances to play in the final and then the narrative could have been different. Arda … what can I say? Our diamond. Croatia also had its problems, although Luka made the difference. But… he doesn't have as much strength as before. Toni had a difficult last match, let's face it. He got carried away by emotions, which is new for him, but he himself changed this team with his return. That's the truth.

Well, not everyone can win and someone had to be eliminated. This is football. You either win or you fail. Sometimes it's difficult to transfer your potential from the club team to the national team because you have to adapt to a different style of play, to a different profile of players around you. In the club you play from memory, automatically. And I'm not just talking about our players, because many others also "failed" because the expectations from them were high. Even Cristiano and Messi have been criticized for this over the years.

[merakiui]

OMG Hetalia!!! I used to be obsessed with the Show! I moved on but it still brings me joy when I see it from time to time (Also the fandom doesn't seem to die?? like even after almost 10+ years the fandom is somehow still alive?? 😭), even though hetalia had its Good and bad sides (the bad side the ship wars)

I also used to be obsessed with with England, the 2p's or the Nordics (AHEM Norway ♡)

Hima also added a few new characters! Indonesia, Singapore and Philippines!! AND FINALLY HE ADDED ENGLAND'S BROTHERS!!! I saw the tweet and like I said I'm not in the fandom anymore but the joy I felt when I saw Ireland, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland ♡♡ I was so Excited!!!

but what frustrated me was the lack of female characters! 😭😤 we have like idk 10-12 female characters and the rest bunch of guys! I was so sad to find out that Portugal could have been a girl!!! 😭

Which leaves me wondering do you have favourite Female characters in hetalia or maybe Nyotalia?? If you like England and 2p England what about Nyo England ? or 2p Nyo England??

Are there any other shows/Games you like besides Hetalia, Genshin impact or twst ??

if you like Otome games I would recommend you playing (if you don’t know them already!) Mystic messenger and Obey me! they're really Good 👍

🌸Anon

The fandom truly is unable to die. I think it's something where you can break away from and return to eventually much later in your life, whether for nostalgia's sake or to get back into the fandom again. Either way, the fandom really is always alive no matter how many years pass. ^^;;;; it's actually quite admirable lol!!

Omg I was so obsessed with England. Like how Azul is my twst muse, England was my Hetalia muse. I would pen so many thoughts regarding him in my Google docs (and they still remain there even today. ;;;). >_< and the 2ps aaaaaa!!! I loved them, especially 2p FACE family. They were all so unhinged hehe. <3 AND NORWAY AAAAAA YES YES!!!! You have wonderful taste, 🌸 anon!!! Norway was another one of my favorites. :D

AND THE NEW CHARACTERS!!!! It was so nice to see. England's brothers are just as fine as England himself... orz I remember back in 2021 (??? was it 2021??) there was word of a new season! I remember I became excited, yet I am here now and I haven't watched it yet LOL. Perhaps I should do so now that the Hetalia worms have crawled back into my brain.

Omg yes!!! The lack of female characters is disheartening. T_T I wish there were more!!! Aaaa it would have been so cool if Portugal was a girl!!! I would have liked to see it!! But as for favorite female characters, I absolutely adore Hungary and Ukraine!! They are both so lovely and sweethearts and they deserve much love!!! Nyo England and nyo 2p England are both very adorable, but I think my favorite nyotalia lady would have to be France! Elegant lady!!!!! So very charming! I love her outfit as well!! ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)

There are other games and shows I like outside of twst, Genshin, and Hetalia! I really like Little Nightmares. It's my favorite horror-adventure game. I love the art style and the storyline. I also want to play Omori when I have enough free time! The premise looks so interesting and I've listened to some of the osts from the game (world's end valentine is such a banger!!!). I also like Danganronpa. As for anime I have really enjoyed, Saiki K, Great Pretender, Devilman Crybaby, Soul Eater, Summertime Rendering, and ODDTAXI are among my favorites!!!

And I have played Obey Me! and Mystic Messenger before! Both are very fun! My favorites from both games are Mammon, Satan, and Belphegor and 707 and Saeran hehe!!! I was never a Jumin fan, but that one bad end... 🫣 so maybe I can consider liking a certain filthy-rich businessman... and something about yandere!Yoosung hits different. >:) in conclusion, unhinged characters are so *chef's kiss* !!!!!

[lestappenforever]

On the whole neighbours thing. We have a lot f neighbours, and even better l, there are categories in the continent, north, west, south, etc. (Africa and for context, I am Egyptian). You can never and I mean NEVERRR see me or anyone I know root for any other North African country, hell even our matches against any other North African country, is very stressful and sometimes even on the verge of playing mind games away from football. So I get you 1000000%

Also, I got to disagree, England are the number 1 national team I am hate watching in the Euros (especially with their “it’s coming hime” nagging since the 60s). They are so incredibly cocky it’s insane, especially with how easy and how close they were going to concede to Serbia yesterday.

As fir France, I agree on the Mbappe part, especially because he takes the spotlight from the real hero who doesn’t get enough credit for what he does, and he was the player if the tournament for 16, 18 and 22. And by that person I mean Griezmann (the man is so good and such a complete player, idk why he doesn’t get credit. Also queue me being biased since he’s the reason I follow football a lot and root for Atleti)

I'm glad to know it's not just me that will not be supporting my neighbours in sporting competitions!

To be fair, I think the whole "It's coming home" for every tournament has become more of a joke than anything else, given how they haven't won since 1966. And honestly, every country goes into, or at least should go into, international competitions cocky as hell because if they weren't cocky, they wouldn't have qualified in the first place. If you don't go into a tournament like this thinking you can win the whole thing, what's the point of even playing?

England didn't concede against Serbia, though. I've talked about this before, and almost scoring and almost winning means absolutely nothing in football. It doesn't matter how you win a game, as long as you're the team that comes out of a game having scored the most goals. You don't have to like it, but it's the reality of the sport nevertheless. France almost conceded against Austria as well, but in the end, they didn't and ended up winning the game. And as much as I would have liked for them to lose or at least draw, they didn't.

You, and everyone else, hating England is of course completely fine! I hate France the same way you guys hate England, and given how nobody can ever convince me to change my mind about that, I won't waste my energy trying to convince anyone else to change their minds about England or other teams, because hating other teams is part of the sport! Especially given how, as long as the many teams I prefer over England are still in the competition, I honestly don't care if England make it past the group stage or not. Like I've said before, they're not even in my top 5, or in my top 10. So a lot of teams will have to get knocked out for me to start hoping England will win. And even if it gets to that point (which I really fucking hope doesn't happen), I won't be rooting for the entire team. God knows England has quite a few players I absolutely loathe and I want to see those players crash and burn in every way possible. But there are also players I genuinely love (Trent Alexander Arnold, Joe Gomez) and players I like (Bukayo Saka, Declan Rice). So should it get to a point where England is the only team I can support, for example, if they were to meet France in the final, then yeah, let's fucking go, England!

I'm not a huge fan of Griezmann either, but I much prefer him to Mbappé and he is a far more complete player. But you can't tell me you're surprised he doesn't get the credit he deserves because players like him never do. Strikers who score lots of goals will always get the credit, and it doesn't matter how much or how little they contribute elsewhere, or how dependent they might be on another player setting them up for goals and how they become invisible if that player isn't out there doing all the work for them, because the goals are all that matter. This has always been the case and will always continue to be the case in football.

[feynavaley]

Which Hetalia country do you think is the best actor/actress?

Thanks for the question! 😊

I'm not sure whether you meant acting in a performance or in real life (essentially, acting as in deceiving other people and hiding one's real emotions and intentions) so I'll touch both cases.

I can't help but think that France must be a great actor both in real life and in a play or movie. In real life, in spite of being melodramatic and often making a great display of his emotions, he can also fake a great lot when he wants to. He can come across as sympathetic when he's actually internally rejoicing for what happened to the other person, clueless when, in truth, he knows a lot about what's going on, friendly and affable in order to get close to a person he doesn't care about when he needs to... France has an uncanny awareness of his own body language and facial expressions, he can slightly tweak them and appear 100% genuine no matter what his inner thoughts are. If France puts some effort into it, realizing he's lying is close to impossible.

Mind, I think that many personifications are actually quite skilled in the arts of deception and lying – even some who generally choose to be transparent can lie with ease when they want or need to. Even so, even among skilled people, I think that France takes the cake because his skills encompass all emotions. Many others, instead, can have a pocker face or sound confident when they aren't, maybe even appear friendly, but nobody is quite so outstanding as France.

It goes without saying that France can employ his skills in a performance as well. Needless to say, he's a great actor in that sense, capable of capturing and conveying even subtle emotions and shifts. Moreover, France is good at understanding each character's personality and depth and bringing it to life on a screen or stage. His melodramatic and melancholic nature helps as well, making him able to convey powerful emotions as well. It's a mixture of body language, facial expressions, and even vocal tone that creates an outstanding performance.

Always talking about performances, India is canonically involved in Bollywood movies and a great actor as well. I picture him having a dynamic acting style, he's really good at conveying powerful emotions and dramatic moments. India is also very skilled at harmonizing his performance with the other actors and even stage directions, he can always position himself related to them in the way that yields the best result. When it comes to movies, he always keeps in mind camera positions and angles, consequently tweaking his performance.

Finally, I think China and England must be good performers and well.

China has an innate sense of art and an inner depth that he doesn't often share with others but that helps him get into characters and understand their motivations, bringing their personalities to life. He can pull off both campy characters and more dramatic, serious ones, depending on what's needed. He's good at dosing the strength of his acting, he always results believable. His microexpressions are particularly excellent, he's great in close-ups and slow-paced scenes.

As for England, while he certainly isn't the best actor in real life due to his insecurities taking over, he's completely different when he has to enact a fictional tale. He does get deeply into characters, portraying them with an uncanny intensity (and this intensity is what makes him so good, actually), but there's always a slight degree of separation that lets him keep his cool. Since England is amazing, in particular, at conveying emotions through talk (voice, pauses, rhythm...) he's best at stage plays and monologues.

Of course, these four aren't the only personifications who can put up a good performance, but I think others aren't quite as good or maybe, they can be outstading but only if portraying certain characters.

[whenthegoldrays]

Okay, review time for Around the World in 80 Days (2004)!

I actually really liked the setup and concept of this adaptation. Making Phileas an inventor, though being just the sort of change I'd expect from a Disney adaptation (minor eye roll), actually plays out quite nicely, taking him the logical extra step beyond an educated gentleman who knows about science, to being an actual scientist.

I admit the trailer misled me about how the wager came to be, and Passepartout starting a gossip chain and inspiring the wager in order to get out of England quickly was unexpectedly hilarious.

So our two heroes set off, landing first in Paris, France. My hopes are high, and so far I'm thinking this movie could end up being a solid 7.5/10.

And then I realize I spoke too soon.

Things quickly get annoyingly wacky. First Phileas meets the lady who will become his love interest — an aspiring French artiste (RIP Aouda).

After some action involving the Chinese gang trying to steal back what Passepartout stole (back) from the Bank of England, the trio set off in a hot air balloon and soon find themselves on a train that, after a time skip (and an admittedly hilarious scene involving Phileas and Mademoiselle Monique's — gasp! — uncovered ankles), stops in Istanbul.

And then, we are thrown into one of the most uncomfortable scenes I have ever been subjected to, featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger (?!) and the traveling trio in a hot tub (?!?!)

Prince Schwarzenegger wants Monique as his seventh wife, Phileas saves her by threatening the prince's precious statue of himself, and they run. Time skip number two has us in India, and guess what? Inspector Fix is here too!

(Side note: the men discussing the robbery and deciding to send an arrest warrant for Fogg to India and one of the stuffed shirts going, "Thank God we own India!" is legitimately one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Thank you for your Very Subtle introduction to British colonialism, Disney.)

Fix is actually, legitimately, the most sad, broken husk of a man I have ever seen in my life. You could knock him over with a feather. How did this man get to be a police inspector in the first place? Your guess is as good as mine. But in this adaptation, he's a corrupt officer bought by the men of the Academy of Science to stop Fogg's journey. He actually somehow manages to get one (1) handcuff on Passepartout, only to promptly be used as his weapon to fight off the gang that's pursuing them.

Long Annoying Action Sequence, Phileas and Monique nearly kiss, and we're off once again!

We are now in China, in Passepartout's village (where we learn his real name is Lau Xing). Fogg, feeling rightfully betrayed when he finds out that Monique and Passepartout have been keeping the bank robbery secret from him and thereby putting his life in danger unnecessarily, storms off and decides to continue the journey on his own.

[insert Even Longer Annoying But Kind Of Plot-Relevant-This-Time (Though Not Enough To Make Me Want To Write About It) Action Sequence here]

Uhh... *checks notes* oh yes, Passepartout/Lau Xing accomplishes his mission of returning the sacred relic to his village, and then Fogg leaves China alone.

(Wow, one way or another, every adaptation has had Passepartout accidentally causing trouble for and then getting separated from Fogg between China and San Francisco!)

In San Francisco, Phileas has 19 days left to finish his journey. He's basically got the wager won — and then all his money gets stolen because he is A Literal Fool.

Passepartout and Monique catch up to him three days later, finding him failing spectacularly at being a beggar. Emotional Reunion, etc etc, and they cross America, meeting the Wright Brothers along the way (an actually really funny and good scene, featuring Owen Wilson!!)

And then it's time for Final Annoying And Probably Even Longer Action Sequence! This time featuring an unfinished Lady Liberty! Also featuring Scary But Cool Chinese Warlord Lady.

Maybe it's just because I already don't like long fight sequences, but these felt especially dragged out as they were so largely silly and exaggerated. I suppose it's a Disney movie, after all, but still. Not a fan of that.

And then, Phileas, Monique, and Passepartout board the ship Carmen (would it have killed them to call it Henrietta?) and, once the captain decides to go full speed ahead for the sake of Fogg's wager (which he's also bet some dollars on) and finishes up the coal, they resort to the classic practice of dismantling the ship and using the wood, but not to burn it for fuel! Instead they build a flying machine, the design of which Fogg somehow still remembers after briefly looking at Orville Wright's blueprints several days ago. (Also, there's a really weird... thing that I wouldn't call a joke involving the captain and an encounter with a shark that made me very uncomfortable once again.)

They fly into London (never mind that they would've had to go through Liverpool first), crash on the steps of the Science Academy, and the clock strikes twelve noon, indicating that they've lost the wager.

But then, in another painful reminder that this is a DISNEY MOVIE (!!), Phileas's rival, Lord Kelvin, starts ridiculously monologuing about how he sent assassins and other saboteurs after Fogg, and after a little girl states that the Queen will stop his evil plot, he begins to mock the Queen in the most cartoonish way possible, only to come to find that (of course) she's standing right behind him.

Kelvin is arrested, the Queen explains the International Date Line loophole, and Phileas and his companions rush up the stairs of the Royal Academy, winning the bet with over 23 hours to spare. He and Monique kiss, everyone cheers, and that's ✨the end✨

Honestly, this had the makings of a great campy adaptation and was incredibly funny at the beginning and other moments scattered throughout. The jade Buddha plot is actually compelling and General Fang is a cool villain that's on par with what I'd expect from Disney (in a good way this time). Unfortunately, this movie suffers a lot in translation. Fogg's romance with Monique is just... there? It feels incredibly rushed, with the actors not even having that much chemistry.

Speaking of rushed, I suppose we all knew that things had to be sped along to fit such a long narrative into a two-hour movie, but adding all those long action set pieces drained away a lot of the time that could've been spent building an actual bond between Phileas and Monique, or including anything found in the original book at all (RIP Inspector Fix, we hardly knew ye).

Also, Fogg is not very likable. I don't know what it is about him that just rubs me the wrong way. I think I'm officially placing him as my least favorite Phileas Fogg of all the ones I've watched.

And while, like I said, about half of the jokes and comedic moments land pretty well, the other half is just plain cringy and sometimes even painful to witness. At least those moments aren't dragged on for very long.

And what else to say about this film? I suppose it could be enjoyable enough if you're not familiar with the source material or show up with no particular expectations. But even then, one would more than likely notice the insane pace and lack of chemistry between the romantic leads. Jackie Chan is good though.

Despite a valiant effort, this movie lands, as expected, at the bottom of my ATWIED adaptation ranking, with a 5/10 rating.

Time to cleanse my palate with the David Niven version.

[muzaktomyears]

😘

"What are you gonna do in Paris ?" John asks.

He's smoking now, and Paul has to fight to keep his attention on the road. John lit a fag for him, too. Put it in his mouth, let his fingers brush Paul's lips. Like it was no big deal. Like this is normal. Like it's legal.

Soon, it will be. Not in England, but in France.

"Drop my load," Paul says. John smirks, wags his eyebrows.

"What kinda load?" he asks.

"Oh, shove it," Paul tells him. "This is just me job, you know that. It's bloody boring, is what it is. Why do you wanna go to Paris?"

"Because I wanna get away from home," John shrugs. "You know how it is, annoying family, clingy birds, I want a fresh start."

Paul knows how it is, all right. He's just doing it the decent way. Like a blood hound, John seems to sniff it out. Easy too. Sharp. Like he understands Paul, he's just not careful to keep up the façade Paul spent years constructing.

"I was actually," John says, turning into Paul again. His finger trails down his neck, then back up, twisting a curl into his hair, a little too long to be proper. He never quite did let go of those dreams of rock 'n roll after all. "I was hoping you might wanna take me to Spain?"

"I'm on the clock," Paul reminds John.

"And once you're off it?"

John thinks he's being smart. Insinuating Paul does this - blokes - off the clock. In actuality, he does them only on the clock. That way, he isn't home, isn't where his type is long hair and tits and neat pencil skirts, isn't coy smiles and shorter than him.

"I won't be till I'm back in Liverpool."

"Oh." John seems disappointed.

"I have... I'll have time to stop along the way," Paul finally says. He's not sure why it's taken him so long, except that, maybe, he wants the upper hand. Some kind of leverage, over John, who's clearly so confident, comfortable with himself. "A couple of times." So clearly interested in telling Paul what to do. And Paul wants that, he just... Maybe also wants to order John to do some things. Like suck his dick. Shut him up, press his fingers along his jaw while he fucks his mouth.

He adjusts his dick, swelling in his trousers.

"When?" John asks.

"Soon." Paul swallow, his mouth suddenly dry. Shit.

"Good," John says. Then he sits back, those brown eyes finally turning back to the road. He begins to sing a tune under his breath. Paul doesn't recognize it.

hgdsjhgdkshgjdks omg anon!

[shachaai]

(hope I'm playing right) Trick or treat! 🎃

You are! And as it’s the 30th now and you’re the first one to come tap-tapping at my ask box, it’s gotta be a...

...Treat!

Here’s a snippet of some medieval fruk-ish fic (Nationverse, with fem!England).

...

December, 1157 The King’s Palace in Wigford, City of Lincoln, in the Kingdom of England

  The hall is stuffy both from the fires in the hearth and from being packed so full of people, so France is stressed both from the heat - it is making his hair wilt - and from the unavoidable politics that arise when a Nation as notable as himself is present in a royal court. Both humans and Nations keep stopping him to ask him this or that, to pass snide remarks or cajole a favour. With the end of the fasting season in sight and the cups overflowing with ale and wine there is also more than a little amorousness in the air, and France has to politely dissuade a few drunkenly grabbing hands from lecherous nobles who think he is a pretty young maid as he makes his way through the hall after dinner.

At the same time, he is trying to avoid being collared by the English king or queen - who really only invited him to their celebrations out of recognition of how very French most of their lands are, and to try and keep some sort of shaky peace between the English and French courts -, or harassed one of their (irritatingly) many fiefdoms that had been invited to Lincoln to witness and celebrate the King Henry II’s crown-wearing ceremony at the cathedral on Christmas Day.

Scotland is spending his Christmas with his king, so France is spared at least from having terrible ale constantly pushed into his hands and being made to drink it for courtesy’s sake, but the French territories who are present in the English king’s hall are doing quite enough to give France a headache all by themselves. Though they exist as part of France, their liege-lord is King Henry or his queen, Eleanor - France’s former queen -, or their family, and Henry’s liege-lord for the French territories is the French king, Louis VII. France is more responsible for the troublesome idiots than England is - despite the fact that her king is the one who should be controlling them! -, but none of them listen to him any more and if he slaps one out of frustration, the whole lot of them declare war on him and Louis and England back them up.

It is all very fraught and complicated and makes France’s head hurt on a good day and means he gets poison in his cup on a bad (poison is a much kinder way to die than having one’s skull crushed to a bloody pulp by a mace), but, right now, it mostly amounts to France trying to avoid everyone he knows.

Gascony’s obnoxious laughter means he is already well into his cups. He has Anjou and Poitou not terribly far behind him, and all of them are so terribly difficult to deal with when sober, never mind when so close to drunk, so France has few qualms about skirting their company. Aquitaine has Auvergne in tow with her, both of them hoarding a jug of fine wine between themselves as they have second - or third - helpings of the spiced apple tart that had been part of the final course at dinner, whilst Touraine seems to be juggling several fried fig pastries for the delight of humans and small Nations alike. Brittany, invited because her duke is one of Henry’s younger brothers, seems occupied watching the County of Maine feed chunks of leftover porpoise to three hungry-looking dogs with frantically wagging tails, and Saintonge seems to be making life hell for a minstrel, demanding a particularly niche variant of a song that the poor man doesn’t appear to know in the first place. France cannot see many of the others, but Normandy -

The Duchy of Normandy catches France just before he has found the tentative freedom of the doorway, and France really dislikes her sometimes, truly, he does. So brutishly abrupt with her hand on his forearm, words as short as her Viking-born temper.

“Have you seen England?” Normandy asks him, her thin pale mouth pressed into a thinner dour line. (Really, has she had no wine?)

“I have not,” France replies, and pulls his arm back from the duchy’s grip before her nails can scratch the embroidery on his sleeve. Then, more hopefully, “Do you believe someone might have poisoned her?”

[m-nasounds]

Weekend Review 04-07.JUL.2024

Good morning ravers,

It's a new week, a new world and it just feels good to be in a time where the French didn't lost their mind. Vive La France! What DJ will give us a speed Garage rendition of La Marseille? We need it NOW!

The UK people raised both middle fingers to the old white upper-class boring-hypocrite politicians. Special shout out to the Islington North council for electing Corbyn. What a community! Great celebration on Thursday evening at The Bedford Tavern. A joy to see it.

England, do you reckon it will actually come home this year?🤔🤔🤔 Not sure yet. Looking at people watching football and enjoying Michael Bibi's set on Finsbury Park last Saturday, I still have my doubts. Quite pathetic, TBH. Are you trying to multitask on a rave, hun?! Your gear is too cheap for that. Next time, learn from Shay Malt, who created a dedicated area at Adonis based on people's requests. Legend! Hot! Icon! It's there but not messing with the dancefloor.

Speaking of Adonis, what was Grace Sands’s set??? She was on 🔥. I guess Glasto has truly energised her. OK Williams, Midland, you both were in pure form, too. I'm giving out the Weekend Badge to both of you. It was a full serve on performing your music with an eye on the crowd. Wear it proudly.

Club Are was also blooming in Hackney Bridge that same day. Who says that summer is not here? I feel that we are entering the Third Summer of Love. It's all about knowing where to go. Does anyone feel the same?

And moving to SouthEast London, I noticed some new activities on Friday, and I'm not speaking of Feel It, but “Sextou!” (in Brazilian Portuguese slang, “it's Friday”), a new label branded and promising a hard techno night on steroids. Fun? We shall see… It's good to see some new names taking the decks. Just don't turn into a still-Circuit-but-in-a-Warehouse kind of party. It won't work. We don’t want that.

For the seventh year, The Glory took over the National Theatre River stage and generously graced you humans with a lesson on how the queers are true masters of entertainment. The full trans lineup on Friday evening was a highlight. Well done Sizzle and Jonny Woo! Your curation keeps on giving.

And for those with stamina, yes, baby, this was a heavy weekend; Unfold was back on. If you know, you know. For the ones that belong to it and respect it. Not for piss-takers. This is the community's final frontier. Beautiful work, as always.

What else did I miss? Horse Meat Disco? It's always a good chill after a heavy one. When the big horses are on tour, you can still enjoy the same level of magic with Bestley and Jim.

Anything else? I don't think so. What is relevant has been covered. What is not? You have another week to work on your thing until you get my attention. Until then, I will keep myself to what matters. It’s in my nature, huns.

Any suggestions? Pop in my DM.

See you on the dancefloor.

bisous bisous.

M.

[fleurcareil]

1st June 2024: the journey continues!

Over 6 months have passed since my last blog, but today feels a good day to finally start writing again! The sun is shining, and I'm sitting in the grass overlooking a pretty lake... (where am I?!? 🙃)

Most importantly, today it's been exactly a year that I drove out of my home in Burlington, hitting the road on a new journey!

Many things happened in the last year; the remaining of 2023 as I had planned, and then the last few months deviated from plan but in a good way. I'm kind of in between lives at the moment, which is surprisingly more comfortable than I had thought, although hopefully soon I will actually be able to move forward! Please everyone, cross your fingers for me. 🤞🤞🤞

As I wrote in my last blog, I left Toronto at the end of September last year to spend 4 months in Europe(ish) with I family and friends. After that amazing cross-Canada road trip, I was ready to calm down a bit!

I'll try to write a few more blogs providing more details on what I did exactly, but in short it felt really good to take the time to catch up with people I care about. Instead of constantly rushing (although I still had quite a busy schedule!), it was great to spend sufficient time somewhere so that we could simply hang out on the couch for hours catching up rather that feeling obliged to run around. Regardless, Europe being Europe, I still ended up doing a bit of sightseeing in between the cups of tea, but overall, it definitely felt like I could relax!

I spent most of October and November in the south of France at my parents in lovely Provence 🥰. Perfect weather and blue skies meant that despite most of the time simply following along with my parents' daily routine, I did some beautiful hikes in the countryside, where vineyards and olive trees abound!

It's amazing how easily days are spent doing crosswords, reading, chores and going for a little hike, all whilst being most of the day outside in the garden or in & about town! 🤗

In this period, I also went for ten days to Muscat in the Sultanate of Oman visiting my sister, her husband and their two children 😍. We typically see each other in the summer in the Netherlands so it was great to be part of their life there for a bit! End of October, it was still hot 🔥 over 30 degrees, so I was really struggling to do much at all... I did teach my nephew the basics of rollerblading, went a few times to the beach (scorching if not in the water!) and just enjoyed spending time with them, at home or in the playground. Of course it went by way too fast, although at the same time "tante Fleur" must admit she was a bit relieved to leave the heat and busyness behind! 🤪

At the end of November, I switched my home base to our flat in the Netherlands, where it turned out to be muuuch colder, especially as the heating didn't work for a week 😫.

First thing on the agenda was winter camping in a yurt with 6 of my oldest friends from university. After a summer of camping, it hadn't been my idea, however despite the snow (!) and rain, we had a blast and basically chatted non-stop for two days straight... We know each other close to 30 years so that means that all topics go, and the laughter, tears and wine flowed easily! 😂

On weekdays, I caught up with other good friends from university and work, some of which I hadn't seen in 14 years since I came to Canada, very special indeed to reconnect and still feel the same friendship after so long! It also included a fun visit to modern art museum Voorlinden, where you could "swim" underwater! 🤣

The following week I embarked on a mini-European tour, visiting friends & my brother for 3 days each in Copenhagen, Paris, London and tiny Everdon (population 356) in central England.

I was toured through Copenhagen by my dear friend Jamie who I used to work with at CT... in a cargo bicycle! The best thing ever, as I kept warm under a blanket while he was narrating the sights and manoeuvring us through the busy streets. Mulled wine at the Tivoli Gardens, wine tasting at a distributor under some obscure bridge and wine at home... you get the picture! 🤩 Oh and amazing food as he & his partner are amazing cooks!

Next stop was at my brother in Paris where we visited the art collection at the Bourse de Commerce... the art was a bit too modern to our taste, but the building is impressive and lunch on the top floor was sublime! Staying at foodies (in France! 😃), it meant great food and company all through...

Then, I took for the first time the Eurostar train underneath the Channel... so much more comfortable than the plane for the short distance! My friend Hélène has converted into a true Londoner, so our trips consisted of walking the dog at sunrise in Regent's Park (whilst the chimps in the nearby zoo were waking up!), lunch at a fancy yet homey private club and a visit to the V&A, one of my favourite museums in the city. 😊

Last but not least, I took the train a few hours north to the hamlet of Everdon where Tracey has set up shop with chickens and rabbits in the garden 😀. We ended up making appetizers all day for a party, which was hilarious as we both had no clue what we were doing (ganache truffles anyone??) but the guests left all merry so that turned out OK. Next day, we walked out our headache among the sheep in the very English rolling countryside and ended the evening in the local pub... perfect ending to a great trip! 💖

Back in the Netherlands, Christmas came around quickly so I spent the last few weeks of the year quietly at home, beating my parents and brother-in-law at bowling 🙃 and trying to get outside as much as possible if it wasn't pouring. New Year's Eve is very special as the air explodes with 100's of fireworks (until you can't see them anymore from the smoke) so that marked the end of 2023! 🎉

Meanwhile, I had found out that I couldn't apply for the Chilean visa without going back to Toronto to get my paperwork legalized, so although I didn't really want to, by mid-January I was squarely back into the deep freeze! 🥶 The whole application process is a game of waiting and patience, so that meant I had plenty of time to do many things, including seeing lots of friends, dog-sitting, swimming, hiking, and even completing a course in teaching English!

Some of the highlights include a hike to a frozen waterfall and a visit to a Keith Haring exhibit at the AGO, one of my fav artists in a fab museum!! 😍

Capping of my 3-month stay in the GTA was the spectacular solar eclipse combined with lots of tasty Indian food at my home-away from-home at Navneet & Arpita 😘😘

Celebrating my birthday in New Orleans at my Dutch besties was the best gift I gave myself; with a jazz festival where I collected beer money from strangers, a cool art garden, loving friends, gorgeous weather and a Dollie Parton drag show, what is there not to love?!?🤗

Running a bit out of steam now 😅, I came to Mont Tremblant in Quebec 6 weeks ago to stay at my dear friends Ivan & Cynthia and their larger family (we were 9 on the first day!), where I am thoroughly enjoying being surrounded by nature. I currently teach some 18 hours a week to mostly Koreans (that deserves a separate blog to explain!) while waiting for my visa to come through... again: 🤞🤞🤞

All in all, things are as good as they get; I remain hopeful about going to Chile later this year and in the meantime, I'm having a very different but fulfilling life... I keep learning (things about myself, how to be a coach, new trails) while meeting wonderful and kind people!

Hug, until next time 🌻🌸🌼

[comfidiamon]

i organized an event for my local super smash bros melee community yesterday and i'm super happy that it was as successful as it was (yay)

yesterday was the perfect finale to my journey

i'm determined i'm gonna quit playing the game and will kinda try to distance myself from it's community

ever since i joined my local smash community i've been borderline obsessed with the game, the esport and it's community. i feel like i've hardly ever gone a day without thinking about the game in any way

i played thousands of hours online and in person, went to so many tourneys, traveled to england, sweden, netherlands and france for events and met so many great friends because of this game

this game and it's community gave me so much and i'm so immensely grateful for everything, but i cannot responsibly keep on doing this

this game brought me lots of joy and good memories, but i don't think it is healthy for me to keep on when i don't have it under control and start neglecting those important to me

recently i have been thinking a lot about life and what's really important to me and truly makes me happy... i know i've neglected the person closest to me and i feel like i finally realized some things

from now on i will try to work on myself and how i treat others a lot more. i will try to improve

i lost myself so deeply in this hobby that i lost sight of what i love

i hurt the person i loved more than anything in this world

i'm so sorry

[fizzycherrycola]

For the ‘give me a character’ post: England and Belgium! 💜

England 💚

How I feel about this character. I have a strong and perpetual urge to hug him, despite the fact that he'd probably smell like an old man. England has been my muse for a LONG time, well before I started writing, for reasons I've never fully understood.

All the people I ship romantically with this character. Y'all know my OTP is FrUK, but I'm a multi-shipper and a historical-context shipper. If England was close to any other nation/kingdom throughout history, then I will ship him with that character, lol. Also I tend to view the relations between Hetalia characters as entirely different compared to humans, so while I know it's not everyone's cup 'o tea, I do ship like... post-WW2 USUK. But anyway, here's the list: Portugal, Spain, France, Prussia, Belgium, America, Russia, Germany, Japan, and there's probably more that I'm forgetting.

My non-romantic OTP for this character. BROTP is England and Wales. "The grumpy brother is soft for the sunshine brother." That's it, that's them.

My unpopular opinion about this character. Hmm... I suppose I'd say that I don't think he is "conventionally attractive". That is, if he were cast in a live-action movie, I'd pick someone who looks quite plain to play him. Not saying that "plain" is bad, because honestly, most people are plain. Hell, I'm plain! But from a story-telling perspective, it's more interesting to have him look very average and unexceptional. And for his character, I think that'd be an asset. Does that make sense?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. Honestly, I got my wish when Hima finally introduced the UK bros. So for now, I'm happy.

Belgium 💛

How I feel about this character. Cute, cute, cute. I want her to wake me up with a soft pat on my head and make me homemade waffles for breakfast.

All the people I ship romantically with this character. England, France, Spain, Germany... and I'm very open to more!

My non-romantic OTP for this character. Benelux, best and most wholesome family dynamic post-WW2. (That's just my HC though, I definitely need to do more research on their modern history, but with my limited knowledge, they seem quite chill.)

My unpopular opinion about this character. Are there unpopular opinions about her? I can't think of any, so I'll just give you a few headcanons... She's a great cook, not afraid to roll up her sleeves and get her hands dirty (literally), optimistic even in dark times, good at making friends, easily startled (esp. during Halloween), if she trips she makes a funny squeak when landing like "Puumf!" or "Nguff!", not afraid to politely speak her mind, and likes dancing.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. How about more appearances in general? I feel like Hima forgets that she exists sometimes, along with a number of other characters. Give her a serious scene! I think Belgium is a tough cookie, so I'd like to see more of her working hard to help her people through crisis.

~~~

Tysm for asking, Mae!!