#Fourth Covid wave

[soloh]

After spending weeks and weeks arguing with myself and constantly building myself up and then putting myself down and ending up filled with self doubt again, I have finally completed and submitted my university application (and my student loan application).

And now I’m feeling super nervous.

[thinkingnot]

me gathering myself to be whimsical and silly and joyful: :D

the horrors: and i took that personally

[anastacialy]

the one time i try to go to sleep early there is a party happening three feet from my house

[simply-ivanka]

How the Biden-Harris Economy Left Most Americans Behind

A government spending boom fueled inflation that has crushed real average incomes.

By The Editorial Board -- Wall Street Journal

Kamala Harris plans to roll out her economic priorities in a speech on Friday, though leaks to the press say not to expect much different than the last four years. That’s bad news because the Biden-Harris economic record has left most Americans worse off than they were four years ago. The evidence is indisputable.

President Biden claims that he inherited the worst economy since the Great Depression, but this isn’t close to true. The economy in January 2021 was fast recovering from the pandemic as vaccines rolled out and state lockdowns eased. GDP grew 34.8% in the third quarter of 2020, 4.2% in the fourth, and 5.2% in the first quarter of 2021. By the end of that first quarter, real GDP had returned to its pre-pandemic high. All Mr. Biden had to do was let the recovery unfold.

Instead, Democrats in March 2021 used Covid relief as a pretext to pass $1.9 trillion in new spending. This was more than double Barack Obama’s 2009 spending bonanza. State and local governments were the biggest beneficiaries, receiving $350 billion in direct aid, $122 billion for K-12 schools and $30 billion for mass transit. Insolvent union pension funds received a $86 billion rescue.

The rest was mostly transfer payments to individuals, including a five-month extension of enhanced unemployment benefits, a $3,600 fully refundable child tax credit, $1,400 stimulus payments per person, sweetened Affordable Care Act subsidies, an increased earned income tax credit including for folks who didn’t work, housing subsidies and so much more.

The handouts discouraged the unemployed from returning to work and fueled consumer spending, which was already primed to surge owing to pent-up savings from the Covid lockdowns and spending under Donald Trump. By mid-2021, Americans had $2.3 trillion in “excess savings” relative to pre-pandemic levels—equivalent to roughly 12.5% of disposable income.

So much money chasing too few goods fueled inflation, which was supercharged by the Federal Reserve’s accommodative policy. Historically low mortgage rates drove up housing prices. The White House blamed “corporate greed” for inflation that peaked at 9.1% in June 2022, even as the spending party in Washington continued.

In November 2021, Congress passed a $1 trillion bill full of green pork and more money for states. Then came the $280 billion Chips Act and Mr. Biden’s Green New Deal—aka the Inflation Reduction Act—which Goldman Sachs estimates will cost $1.2 trillion over a decade. Such heaps of government spending have distorted private investment.

While investment in new factories has grown, spending on research and development and new equipment has slowed. Overall private fixed investment has grown at roughly half the rate under Mr. Biden as it did under Mr. Trump. Manufacturing output remains lower than before the pandemic.

Magnifying market misallocations, the Administration conditioned subsidies on businesses advancing its priorities such as paying union-level wages and providing child care to workers. It also boosted food stamps, expanded eligibility for ObamaCare subsidies and waved away hundreds of billions of dollars in student debt. The result: $5.8 trillion in deficits during Mr. Biden’s first three years—about twice as much as during Donald Trump’s—and the highest inflation in four decades.

Prices have increased by nearly 20% since January 2021, compared to 7.8% during the Trump Presidency. Inflation-adjusted average weekly earnings are down 3.9% since Mr. Biden entered office, compared to an increase of 2.6% during Mr. Trump’s first three years. (Real wages increased much more in 2020, but partly owing to statistical artifacts.)

Higher interest rates are finally bringing inflation under control, which is allowing real wages to rise again. But the Federal Reserve had to raise rates higher than it otherwise would have to offset the monetary and fiscal gusher. The higher rates have pushed up mortgage costs for new home buyers.

Three years of inflation and higher interest rates are stretching American pocketbooks, especially for lower income workers. Seriously delinquent auto loans and credit cards are higher than any time since the immediate aftermath of the 2008-09 recession.

Ms. Harris boasts that the economy has added nearly 16 million jobs during the Biden Presidency—compared to about 6.4 million during Mr. Trump’s first three years. But most of these “new” jobs are backfilling losses from the pandemic lockdowns. The U.S. has fewer jobs than it was on track to add before the pandemic.

What’s more, all the Biden-Harris spending has yielded little economic bang for the taxpayer buck. Washington has borrowed more than $400,000 for every additional job added under Mr. Biden compared to Mr. Trump’s first three years. Most new jobs are concentrated in government, healthcare and social assistance—60% of new jobs in the last year.

Administrative agencies are also creating uncertainty by blitzing businesses with costly regulations—for instance, expanding overtime pay, restricting independent contractors, setting stricter emissions limits on power plants and factories, micro-managing broadband buildout and requiring CO2 emissions calculations in environmental reviews.

The economy is still expanding, but business investment has slowed. And although the affluent are doing relatively well because of buoyant asset prices, surveys show that most Americans feel financially insecure. Thus another political paradox of the Biden-Harris years: Socioeconomic disparities have increased.

Ms. Harris is promising the same economic policies with a shinier countenance. Don’t expect better results.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

More than 117,000 new COVID cases were reported in the United States this week, a fourth week of decline, as the weekly death toll remained above 1,200, according to figures collected by BNO News.

At least 117,284 new cases were reported between September 23 and September 29, down from 131,272 the week before (-11%). Those figures were collected from state health departments and, where necessary, estimated based on hospital admissions.

Actual case numbers are higher because many hospitals and states are no longer reporting detailed COVID data. Laboratory testing is also low as most people and doctors are using at-home tests which are not included in official statistics.

Starting this week, every household in the U.S. is once again eligible to order 4 free at-home COVID tests. The tests are being made available in anticipation of the expected winter wave. Orders can be placed at covidtests.gov.

During the past week, cases increased in only 7 out of 24 states with consistent but limited data. In those states where increases were reported, the changes were only minimal.

The CDC estimates that COVID cases are currently rising in 0 states (down from 3 last week), declining or likely declining in 41 states (up from 23), and stable or uncertain in 7 states (down from 23). Nationally, COVID test positivity is 11.6%, down from 14.9% last week.

Only 32.6% of hospitals in the U.S. submitted COVID data this week, unchanged from last week and the lowest since the end of mandatory reporting on May 1. Those limited figures reveal that at least 4,657 Americans are currently hospitalized with COVID, down from 4,974 last week.

1,213 new COVID deaths were reported during the week, the seventh week in a row with more than 1,000 new deaths. It’s also the 12th week in a row with more than 500 new deaths and the 236th week with more than 400 new deaths.

So far this year, more than 5.5 million COVID cases have been reported across the U.S., causing at least 375,971 hospitalizations (limited data) and 43,923 deaths, according to BNO’s COVID data tracker.

[helshollowhalls]

I have some thoughts. On Mysta's graduation. And the current state of Nijisanji in general.

At the end of the day, I am not surprised. I expected someone else to graduate first, hell I even expected Niji to keep more of an iron grip on their money makers aka Luxiem in order to milk them for more cash, but I digress.

Mysta is graduating and it only goes to show that their 'money first, talent... third? last?' approach comes back to bite them in the arse. This might be the potential wakeup call for everyone who has yet to realize that the entire English branch of Nijisanji is crumbling away in record time because of the absolutely abysmal talent management and treatment of the livers.

I refrained from speculating who would be the next ones to graduate after Nina - simply because I will leave that job to the anonymous leakers on the site/platform that shall not be named here. Apparently Shu and Vox were brought up as the potential next people to graduate (this is according to a recent Depressed Nousagi stream but he didn't show any screenshots so take that with a massive bucket of salt.) Mysta was allegedly also mentioned down the line, but he seemingly wasn't the first choice.

Honestly, if you think about it the entirety of Luxiem must be so done mentally. They didn't know what to expect when they signed up to become Nijisanji's first male English-speaking Vtuber group. They waltz onto the scene, explode in popularity all over the world out of nowhere basically and suddenly they're Niji EN's favorite child. The company is milking them for all they have because OH BOI do they rake in the cash - not to mention from a target audience that was completely ignored before in the EN corporate sphere - female viewers.

In a lot of things the boys weren't given any choice. Jazz On The Clock? The first ever second unit song in Niji EN ever and it was released even before their anniversary. With Luxiem being the fourth EN wave in total it felt a little counterintuitive - Wouldn't they start another potential wave of unit songs with LazuLight, their first wave? Well, now that Light Me Up is out and Pomu talked about the entire fiasco of LazuLight basically fighting management tooth and nail to be allowed a second unit song, I think most of us can guess how things are going at Anycolor. And in case you're not entirely convinced, just look at the amount of Luxiem merch Niji has put out compared to any other EN wave.

It's not just JotC, but their anniversary/irl Japan meetup stream as well. That stream was something that personally really rubbed me the wrong way because it felt very inauthentic. It felt like the five of them were just shoved into a room at the Niji HQ to play Smash and do some batsus while the executives and managers proceeded to lock the doors and breath down their necks for the entirety of the stream. The stream had a very different feel to it - Comparing it to other Luxiem collab streams or even other anniversary streams. Management didn't consider it necessary to order Obsydia or Ethyria to Japan and record their anniversary streams at the Niji HQ - Well, that would be because none of them make the company as much sweet sweet cash as Luxiem - Closest would maybe be Selen. And even she has been public about the management fuck-ups - I am talking about her outfit design contest here, of course.

But back to Luxiem. I don't follow them as closely as I used to in the beginning, infact I am only subscribed to Shu out of the five, so let's start from here.

The entire wave collectively tweeted very salty and sarcastic remarks about the official announcement of the EN 3D Live Concert being "postponed due to COVID" earlier this year. But out of all of them, it seemingly hit Shu the hardest. I noticed that he was streaming less and less, infact he still isn't streaming as much as he used to.

Ike... oh boi, where do I even begin. Judging from his spontaneous irl hangout with Vox recently and the amount of projects he has been involved in as a vocal mixer, not to mention his two recent songs of which one is an original, this man seems to be working 30 hours a day and is stressed to the max.

Mysta made his personal situation and his ongoing burnout/lack of goals to work towards very clear in his graduation announcement stream, so I won't go into detail.

Vox has also been streaming less frequently. During the course of his employment at Nijisanji he got diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD (I believe), started therapy and medication, had a panic attack during an ASMR stream, started new projects and also some personal issues in his private life to deal with.

I have to be honest about Luca - I don't really know anything about what is going on with him apart from the fact that he planned to move again and got a puppy.

In conclusion, I could see reasons for anyone of them graduating anytime soon. Management isn't treating them well - Management isn't treating anyone in EN well, it seems - and at some point that fact doesn't warrant staying with the company anymore. Plus, money isn't really an issue for any of them at this point I assume - Especially Vox and Mysta. Both of them have enough money to fulfill their potential aspirations as indies or under another agency or manager.

Infact, apart from a couple of livers I can see anyone graduating next because of how Nijisanji handles things.

Some may argue that it all started going downhill when they kicked Yugo or when Zaion got terminated - Regardless of what you think, at the end of the day, the entire branch is seemingly falling apart right in front of us and Nijisanji's reputation is tanking, especially with the English-speaking fanbase, while Hololive idly sits by and watches the drama unfold.

The consequences of Mysta leaving and the message it sends about Nijisanji and how they treat their livers can't be understated.

[thefrogdalorian]

So, after having no energy/appetite for the fourth day in a row, I dug out an old covid test, took it and IT'S POSITIVE!! I'm officially pregnant🥳 (taking pics of the positive test and sending it to my friends saying I'm pregnant is my way of coping okay)

Cannot believe I caught it in 2024, not from a perspective of arrogance, but I'm stunned at how little it's still spoken about. Yet this awful virus is still very much out there and very brutal even after all these years.

I took all the precautions during the initial waves but I guess I haven't thought about it for a while and boy, do I regret that now. I feel awful and I wish I had seriously considered wearing a mask in a big crowd.

Definitely something to consider this summer if you don't want life to be upended by this horrible virus. And the stress of any vulnerable people you may come into contact with getting sick too.

ANYWAYYYY the brain fog is intense this time round and I don't even know if this makes much sense or when I'll be back to posting (and my queue expired THE HORROR) but take care out there friends!!

Hopefully I'll be back soon,

Lvoe, Spud

[creative-frequency]

WIPs from 2024

It feels like nothing has been normal since covid times, by which I mean its one thing after the other and there is never time to write anymore like I used to :(

The other day I was reading through all the stuff I've never posted anywhere. And boy there is a lot. So I'm doing a bit of inventory and thought I'd at least share some snippets.

Inquisitor!Cal Kestis (Star Wars) x Reader: Party Time

The 4th part of the Inquisitor Cal series. It's missing like two scenes and it haunts me every day.

“Just being with you is soothing… I guess that’s ‘cause you’re not trying to murder me.”

“What if I am?” you ask slyly but your voice wavers in rhythm with Cal’s advances.

He pauses briefly, but quickly continues dragging his lips across your neck.

“Then I’m already dead,” he murmurs right next to your ear and shivers course through you.

→ Part 1 here

Thanatos (Supergiant Games Hades) x Reader: Hades Modern AU

There was a wild period of "let's play Hades for 6hrs a day" last summer, so this modern AU started to form.

“Thank you…” you huff and look up.

Ice slithers down your back. (Probably actually rain water but the freezing effect is the same.)

It’s Thanatos. His eyes widen in evident surprise.

You don’t know which one of you is more shocked to see the other. You should have realised sooner he would also be living in the same building. That would have given you at least the edge of mental preparation for this particular instance.

Though, no amount of mental preparation could have prepared you for the sight of him in casual clothes. The god of death is wearing a short leather jacket on top of a grey turtleneck and jeans. Your mouth hangs open.

“Oh, hello, uh, Lord Th-Thanatos,” you fumble to form coherent words and struggle to keep the shopping bags from falling.

“Do you need a hand?” he forgoes the platitudes, though you see his brows furrow at the title.

“Please. My arms are killing me,” you say and grimace. May the god of death take you, indeed. If you could be less obvious, that would be great. “Figure of speech… sorry.”

Thanatos gives you a look of silent judgement and holds out a hand to help with your burdens. Grateful and biting your tongue to keep more frogs from hopping out, you offer him the bag filled with cleaning products and home textiles.

Poe Dameron (Star Wars) x Reader: Hotline Combo

I swear this has been sitting in the drafts for like 5 years. One day. Set around the Resistance animated series.

“Well, you won’t like it,” you say and let out a short laugh. Kaz shoots a dubious look at you. “I’m here to take you home.”

It’s almost cozy arguing with your younger brother again. It’s not a yelling competition you’re having but an endless circle of animated, pointless arguments and a lot of waving hands. It’s a family trait.

Just before the fourth round starts, the door to Yeager’s office suddenly opens. You don’t know the man who steps inside but your initial thought is damn you’d like to.

Kaz’s face lights up. “Poe?! What’re you doing here?” It’s difficult to say if he or the ball droid is happier to see the guy.

Diluc Ragnvindr (Genshin Impact) x Reader: Wine, Grapes and Fire

I'm ashamed to say that this is like 8.5k long and almost done with a clear plot etc. I just never had the inspiration to actually finish it. Maybe when Mihoyo gives Diluc some love..... Basically you take on a part-time job at Diluc's bar and accidents happen that lead you to discover his secret identity. Diluc is not happy.

Just when you’re ready to start pleading for help, Diluc walks in as if nothing happened and joins you behind the counter.

“How are we doing today?” he asks suspiciously casually. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was behaving apologetic.

“Three Laughter and Cheers to the lady in blue dress and Barbato’s Boon to the gent in green hat,” you say curtly and move past Diluc to gather empty glasses from tables.

You’re almost impressed how quickly Diluc mixes the drinks for the waiting customers and the line by the counter disappears.

“Can we talk now?” he asks half-aloud as you get back.

“Sorry, that’s not on the menu,” you reply with your best customer-service-oriented tone.

He frowns and folds his arms over his chest. The usual black coat lies discarded at the back of the bar again and his biceps are super distracting.

Alhaitham (Genshin Impact) x Reader: How to Distinguish Dreams from Reality: A Study by the Acting Grand Sage

Sumeru lore is so interesting but such a pain. You're Tighnari's cousin and studied together with Alhaitham. When he takes on the job of the acting grand sage, he needs someone to assist him. He totally has no ulterior motives.

“According to this, all extra tasks and their conditions will be agreed to by word of mouth?” you ask. Talk about being lazy in drafting the paper. This sort of thing would not pass in Liyue.

“It’ll keep our options open.” Alhaitham shrugs. “It’s as much for your benefit as it is for mine.”

He is correct, of course, but you don't feel great about agreeing to something without knowing what the “extra” in the job actually entails. You chew your lip, thinking of adding clauses to curb some of the most… colourful work scenarios that could come to pass.

“And this is valid until you return to your work as the Scribe?” you ask slowly. A fixed-term employment and afterwards you will be able to return to your own research.

“In the minimum, yes. There is a high possibility I'll still require an assistant for a time before all matters are settled.”

“I see.” You take refuge from Alhaitham’s stare by reading the contract again.

“Look, with Lesser Lord Kusanali back and several missing Sages, it’s impossible to know what the situation will be even next week in the Akademiya. I trust that we’ll be able to settle any issues that arise within the work matrix,” Alhaitham says confidently.

He sees you still hesitating and you notice an almost imperceptible half-smile on his face. “You won’t have to agree to anything I ask of you outside the regular Scribes tasks,” he says in an overly neutral tone.

“I know,” you reply quickly, biting your lip and still skimming through the short text on the contract. Your free hand automatically moves to pacify your tail from lashing back and forth. Alhaitham’s gaze follows the motion and he clears his throat.

“Ready to sign?” he asks.

Connor | RK800 (Detroit: Become Human) x Reader: Pillow Forts and Chicken Noodle Soup

Human Connor AU, from childhood friends to lovers. Circumstances force you to move in with him and that's good cause there is a lot of flu going around.

“I won,” you declare breathlessly.

Connor snorts. “You literally fell to the floor.”

“Well, I don’t wanna sleep in your bed. God knows what… you’ve…” No, don’t think about him like that. It’s just Connor.

He arches a brow in question, but you stop talking and clear your throat.

“I’m on the couch,” you repeat.

Connor draws in a sigh that doesn’t quite reach the intended exasperation.

“Fine, then. But we could always make a fort and sleep there,” he says in a tone that’s filled with amusement, but there is something else too. Maybe a hint of hopefulness?

As kids, you often used to build pillow forts. Damn, you used to stay nights at each other’s place every week. No wonder everyone asked you if you will marry him when you grow up. The memories warm your cheeks and you smile at Connor.

“Maybe not tonight, but I’ll hold you onto that.”

“You better,” he says and paces off to find sheets for you.

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S03E16 - The Art of the Steal - PART B

Black letters in quotes: Actual show quotes.

Green letters in quotes: What I come up with my twisted brain.

"Will's a terrible flirt but he's actually kinda sweet." Jesse! Don't call that cheater sweet in front of Charlie.

"Wait a second, I recognize that scratch." Color me shocked. It came up again.

Arresting frenemies.

Does anyone ever rob banks for the money anymore? According to crime shows, no.

"It's the right thing to do." Dude, I wouldn't give you anything with that. What is this, a Jedi mind trick?

Flash mob used as a way of escape. I've seen this somewhere before.

"Humans are weird."

There's literally no reason for the slow-mo but look at how good the screenshot gets. You can't get this at full speed.

And here's Charlie. My confusion remains.

Dude has the finger on the trigger and waving the gun around. He would have pressed the trigger without even realizing it.

This is totally privileged kid behavior. Who the hell does four robberies just because his dad won't tell him the truth?

Anyway. No one cares. Back to the team gathering.

Joe: "I never should have doubted you in the first place, and for that I'm sorry." Rex: "Nice of you to recognize it."

The TV rip is accompanied by a short video of the cast celebrating the fact that they got renewed for a fourth season, which is not attached to any of the webrips. Bummer. Anyway, while this is the right episode to be chosen as the season finale out of the last few ones, it's not very strong in my opinion.

So, S3 was way better than 1 and 2 overall. I liked the extra fresh air they got on cases, even if that change was brought on in major part due to Covid. But there's nothing dumber than having access to beautiful locations and not using them. Also, there was more "team as family" scenes, more Charah scenes, and my favorite, more whump scenes.

[lalalenii]

For the past year and a half, I really struggled taking care of myself, especially when it came to cooking. I used to live with an elderly roommate who unfortunately was hospiced due to her COPD about two years ago and died shortly after. I lived with her for over five years, and from the beginning, we had a very close relationship that felt more like family than anything. I cooked almost every night. After coming home from work, I used the time in the kitchen to unwind, I loved trying out new recipes and navigating my vegetarianism and her weirdly specific food preferences. I liked the physical work of it and the act of service it let me provide, especially during covid and when she kept getting sicker.

After she died, and I moved to my own place I stopped cooking. It was probably for a multitude of reasons. Grief I didn't recognise as such, my relationship hanging on a thread and all the energy it took from me. Me having to navigate living on my own for the first time, navigating a household on top of my 40hr week + 5ish hours for my side job, but sadly probably also that I tend to feel more motivation when I perform tasks for anyone other than myself. Even though I knew that I enjoyed cooking, I just rarely did it. Instant noodles and ready meals, ordering takeout... it just all felt so much easier. I was also away from home a lot so buying groceries would often result in them going bad.

So for the past 1.5 years, I frequented the pretzel stand at my local train station a lot. I got breakfast and/or lunch there multiple times a week. So often, that the people working the stand would recognise me. There was this elder Turkish woman, who had a really kind face and was always nice, even though she probably gets paid jack and has to get up at 5 or something. But seeing her always kind of made my day. I always walked away with a smile, feeling a little bit better about everything. She was so unpretentiously optimistic, a hard worker and as far as I could tell always nice to her colleagues. She always greeted me and wished me a nice day. Until one day, she told me that tomorrow would be her last day.

I was really touched that she considered to let me know. Let me know that she wouldn't be part of my routine anymore, despite us never exchanging more words than "one spiced pretzel please" "that would be 1.50" "with card please" "thank you have a nice day" "you too!"

I hadn't actually planned to go get pretzels again the next day, but I just had to, and I also took the opportunity to tell her how much her kindness meant to me. That I saw her kindness and that I appreciated it and that her smiles made my day better.

That was that. The following week she was gone and I went about my life, buying pretzels, struggling through my job and my relationship. I saw her every once in a while helping out at the stand – I was so elated every time and even if I didn't buy pretzels I made sure to at least wave at her in passing.

Months later, things changed. I gathered the courage to quit my job, to uproot my life. It was a risk but it paid off. My commute changed. From one hour to 25 minutes – what a luxury. My commute also now runs in a completely different direction. I take the underground to the town over and then get onto the bus. The added free time from the shortened commute is such a relief and while at least I manage to pack lunch every day now I'm still not very settled in, so I hit up the local bakery for some breakfast. I always get the same thing and after the salesperson stopped asking whether she can snap the cheese pastry in half to make it fit into the bag when I came in for the fourth time this week I decided I needed to change it up. I didn't want to become the cheese pastry girl. So on Friday, instead of the bakery I went to the local pretzel shop. I didn't even think about it too much. It's really the only other option near the station I switch to the bus. I was in a hurry to catch the bus, hoping that the woman and her child before me wouldn't also go into the shop, because if I missed the bus I'd have to walk and I'd be later than intended.

So I walked in. And what happened next honestly felt like the most stupid and clichéd movie scene. I did an actual double take. Because there behind the counter was my lovely, elder Turkish pretzel sales woman. I didn't even consider she just switched to another shop, I assumed she retired or did something out and only helped at the other stand occasionally to cover shifts or help out during rushes. But there she was, in all her glory. And when she saw me, we both laughed. It felt so ridiculous. We have no connection besides her selling me pretzels but the familiarity she brings into my life and into my morning routine was such a comfort. I don't know how she sees me, if she has a lot of customers like me but I do know she recognises me.

"I work in the neighbourhood now" I said as I stop laughing and she bags my regular order. "I'm stationed here now" she says and I tell her I'm happy to see her. I genuinely mean it.

"See you on Monday then," she says cheekily and although I was planning to cut the habit of getting breakfast at the bakery I make a promise to myself to stop by at least once a week. For the god-awful addicting spiced pretzel and for the kind woman who makes my day brighter without even meaning to.

[hoosurdaddy]

Chapter 4.

Pairing: post covid! Stan Marsh x Reader, post covid! Kenny McCormick x reader.

Triggers: 18+, cheating, smut,gaslighting. Reader is married to Stan, bad grammar, short.. Rushing this so I'm finally finished a series.

--

As you fidgeted with your paper work, you seen Kenny through the class window talking to one of his investors about a new product. You two spotted each other, but right as you went to give Kenny a shy wave, you heard your phone ringing. It was Stan. Instead of waving at Kenny, You stared at your phone. Stan knew he shouldn't be calling you at work. You waited until the call rang out before continuing your journey to the copy machine. As you walked, you could hear someone trailing behind you. It was Butter's, standing there with a small smile on his face as he caught up to you.

"Hey Butters."

"Hey Y/N." Butter's looked at you with rosey cheeks. "I'm so sorry I didn't stay behind on Friday for paper work. I had no idea."

"What?" You looked at Butter's, confused.

"I was talking to Stan this morning and he was asking about how Friday night went. I really need to start checking my emails more. Gosh darn." Butter's muttered, fumbling for any excuse as to why he missed 'the paper work'.

"It's okay, honey. It's just a misunderstanding on Stan's part, there was no meeting, or paper work." You smiled weakly at Butters, who sighed a breath of relief. It wasn't a misunderstanding on Stan's part. Did Stan not believe you? He was probably still annoyed about the lube situation, but jesus don't drag Butter's into it. You looked down at your phone once more. Stan's calling.

"I'll talk to Stan, Don't worry your pretty head." You laughed at Butter's, who smiled back at you before he turned into his office singing a song he made up about paper.

You answered Stan on the fourth ring. "Hey." You could hear him smiling down the phone.

"Have you been questioning Butter's?" You asked, despite knowing the answer already. You could hear Stan laughing down the phone, which in return made you smile at the thought of Stan's smiling face.

"I'm just talking to my friend." Stan explained. "He was clueless about the paper work on Friday, poor thing nearly died of a heart attack." You could hear Stan rolling his eyes over the phone.

"It's Butter's, he's completely harmless." You continued as you set your papers down on the printer. "That's why Kenny only needs him for legal assistance and to be his accountant. It's only me and Kenny that deal with paper work."

Stan sighed, taking a long pause. It scared you that Stan might of figured it out, but instead he spoke. "You know if you quit you can come work for my whisky company and we hang out all the time."

"I've told you before Stan, if we work together all we'll do is fight. Besides, working in a lab is fun." That and it was a bit of freedom from Stan. Not that you didn't love being around Stan, but working with him would be completely different. You both made it a rule to never bring work home and that is a guarantee to happen if you worked with Stan. Besides, working as a secretary was fun. It was something you were good at, it was something you enjoyed. It was the first bit of freedom that you had since moving away from college.

"Are you working this weekend?" Stan asked since it was only Wednesday, but Stan wanted to keep you busy for the weekend so you had no excuse to come in and see Kenny. You shook your head, despite Stan not being able to see you.

"Nope. I'm free."

"Craig is having a birthday for Tweek on Saturday." Stan immediately announced on the phone. Parties with Stan used to be a nerve wrecking experience with how drunk and messy he used to get, he wasn't like that anymore. Stan was sober and he got sober for you. He was able to control himself around alcohol, considering he owns a whiskey company he never consumed a drop.

"Are you going back to work?" Stan asked.

"I am. I'll call you on my break?"

"See you soon."

--

During his lunch break, Kenny had missed a group WhatsApp call from his friends; Stan, Kyle, and Cartman. Once he answered, they were talking about Craig's party for Tweek this weekend. Kenny loved facetiming his friends. Kyle was giving him the information that he missed out on about the party. Kenny knew he was going to have to face you and Stan as couple sooner or later, but he figured that by then he would of had his own girl by now. But he didn't, he had you.

As his friends talked, Kenny noticed how Stan seemed to peak over Kenny's shoulders for any sign of you in his office or even a glimpse of you walking by the door, everytime Kenny's eyes glanced away from the camera. Stan had no authority here, this was Kenny's building. This was Kenny's business. Stan couldn't do anything here.

"I'm wearing my red polo shirt with jeans. I bet Y/N is gonna wear that blue dress I got her for our anniversary." Stan smiled. It took Kenny everything not to threaten Stan that he was going to tear that dress off your pretty body and fuck you six ways to Sunday. "She's going to look so sexy."

"Dude." Kyle scoffed down the phone as Stan gushed about you so lovingly. Kenny just rolled his eyes, causing Stan to sneer as Kyle and Cartman began arguing over what to give Tweek as a present. This sneering and throwing dirty glances at each other continued until Kyle stopped them, and asked Kenny was wrong.

"Just tired." Kenny answered through his teeth as he watched Stan give him a sweet smile.

"I bet if a certain someone walked in you'd be all smiles and laughter." Stan replied, making Kenny tensed up. Thank God, Stan wasn't here in person or else his body language would totally give everything away. 'Fuck you Stan', Kenny thought.

“I don’t know what you’re on about, Stan." Kenny replied, doing his best to deny the reality of the situatioN. He was protecting you, he was protecting himself. He can handle the pressure, he was a scientist after all. No matter what Stan threw at him, Kenny could handle it. But Stan on the other hand, couldn't trust Kenny as far as he could throw him. If he had seen you both the other night, there would be no denying it.

"I'm not stupid." Stan sneered once more, causing more confusion Cartman and Kyle. It was Thanks to Butter's who came in to ask about the accounts that Kenny excused himself.

--

On Friday, you sat at your desk, cleaning out an bit of rubbish you had left over from the week. Stan was busy at the office, he had rang you to tell you that something went wrong and he had to figure it out and that he might be home late. You didn't mind, it gave you time to fix the house, and get both your clothes set and ready for tomorrow. You were filled with excitement to see Craig and Tweek tomorrow.

When you had returned back from taking out the bin, Kenny was already sitting on your desk with a smirk on his face. "Hey. I was hoping to see you before you left."

"Here I am." You giggled as you sat on your chair, looking up at him. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just like looking at you." You playfully slapped Kenny's arm as you grabbed your handbag.

"Are you going to the party tomorrow?" You asked as you and Kenny stood up so you could push your chair into the desk. Kenny nodded, his fingers ghostly running over your arms. "I can't wait to see you in that blue dress."

"Stan told you?" You laughed as Kenny nodded, laughing along with you. "Yep, he was very serious about how sexy you'll look.. Can't say I blame him."

Sighing, you looked up at Kenny. "Do you want to fin-"

"It's going to take a lot more then Frank Gallagher to get rid of me." Kenny smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

You smiled, looking around to see if there was anyone around. All you wanted to do was kiss Kenny right here, right now. You wanted to plant kisses every where and anywhere over his face and body, but you couldn't. Instead, you opted for blowing him a kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow."

As you turned, you walked down the hall to leave through the fire exit. You were expecting to be greeted by the fire exit door, instead you were greeted by Butter's, who hadn't gone home yet. You both stood there and stared at each other in silence.

Internally, you felt your stomach acid bubbling as you both stared at each other for what felt like a life time. Butter's had a look about him that you couldn't quite read. "Please don't tell Stan." You wanted to cry out, but your mouth wouldn't move.

Slowly, Butter's made his way out through the exit, leaving you standing there, questioning on what your marriage was going to be like when you got home.

[jaidethalagorra]

Things They Don't Tell You: Timeline of the Fall

All right. I'm back. All the chaos going on in my life finally resolved, so I can finally post here again over the summer! I'll be posting as much as I can when I have the time. So, without further ado, here's a timeline of the Fall!

This is gonna be a semi-omniscient timeline as in full, no one knew what fully happened. I'm also going to be using the terms BF (Before Fall), and AF (After Fall). For additional context, "The Fall" is a term used specifically in America regarding the establishment of Haven camps, and more specifically when the internet across the world finally failed and each Haven was left isolated. Timeline under the cut, and oh boy is it long. I'm so sorry. But not really.

10 Months BF: A mysterious virus hits America. However, as the symptoms are similar to the common flu, it's quickly dismissed as "normal", and people continue to act as normal. The virus begins to spread quietly, and due to the lack of concern the virus escapes America and begins to quietly spread across the rest of the world.

9 Months BF: As the virus enters its second stage, a wave of panic spreads across the world as the initial victims fall into a coma. A state of emergency is declared for most countries, but as the connection to the virus is currently unknown travel is not suspended for the first couple days. However, once the connection is determined travel is suspended, but by that time the virus had already spread beyond containment. People are advised to stay home and avoid contact with anyone else if they show symptoms, an advisory that they totally ignore. We saw how COVID went. Conspiracy theorists go rampant, and small groups of people online begin to hold "virus parties", in which they deliberately infect themselves with the virus as they decide it's not real anyways. One week later, the first patients reawake in the third stage of the virus and panic is slightly alleviated, but only slightly as patients continue to enter comas and the reawakened patients continue to lose their mental functions, leaving them in the hospital for some time afterwards.

8 Months BF: Even more panic spreads as the virus reaches its fourth stage and people begin to finally become zombies. Hospitals are the hardest hit and almost immediately shut down, as the first patients go on a rampage in the hospitals and infect the rest of the hospitals. Military force is utilized to clear them out, but the damage has been done and people are advised to only go into hospitals for life-threatening circumstances. Several of the initial patients are taken back for government observation. By this point, international travel is completely suspended. This weakens faith in the hospitals and individuals in stage 2 are instead kept at home by their families. As it's determined that the virus is not airborne, people begin to host larger gatherings and spread the virus further through food and drinks. Prepper groups begin isolating themselves in their houses or neighborhoods. The disruption of international travel wreaks havoc on supply chains, and the economy takes a major dive if anyone cared.

7 Months BF: As the survivors of the hospitals enter stage 2 of the virus, hospitals completely shut down due to lack of personnel. This leads to mass death across the world, and all virus patients are instead taken care of at their own houses. An online group of scientists called "prevent Chernobyl" forms, with the express goal of monitoring nuclear power plants and sending them into shutdown should the world seem to fall beyond saving.

6 Months BF: The virus, which previously existed in waves, seems to lose coherency in waves as natural time takes effect. There seems to always be someone in a different stage. The virus continues to spread, and public infrastructure such as the power grid and internet begins to decline due to lack of manpower. Prevent Chernobyl reaches the decision that if the this trend continues, they will have to shut down nuclear power plants. Supply chains have been reduced to half capacity at best.

4 Months BF: Approximately one quarter of the world's population has been infected. Military operations take on an almost plague doctor role, enacting martial law and attempting to kill any patients in stage 4. This is met with heavy resistance, as many of the common populous doesn't want to watch their loved ones die, even if they're already effectively dead.

3 Months BF: The moderate success of the military enacting martial law begins American government to begin strategizing for the Haven project, an initiative that would see military taking control of certain areas in large cities and fortifying them to create a military-protected survivor's camp. This idea is reinforced by confirmation that the first infected patients have, without food, perished due to starvation. This provides the idea that theoretically, the Haven initiative could allow survivors to outlast the virus. However, due to cannibalism and haphazard scavenging through abandoned supermarkets, many of the original patients have survived this long. Due to lack of manpower, public infrastructure begins to completely fail in some areas, and supply chains have failed completely.

2 Months BF: As the power grid fails, Prevent Chernobyl presents an ultimatum online: They will shut down nuclear reactors. Military presence, stretched thin, attempts to fortify the reactors but fails to recognize that many of the workers within the plants are Prevent Chernobyl members. After the failure to protect the reactors, military forces begin to spread thin across America to implement the Haven project. Several gated communities across America board themselves up in an attempt to keep themselves safe, and one forms in Allie and Jessica’s city.

1 Month BF: Approximately one third of the world's population has been infected, however countless others have died due to inadequate medical treatment, starvation due to supply chain collapses, or being consumed wholly by the existing zombies. The Haven project is established in Allie and Jessica's city, and almost all the survivors find a home at Haven. Most of the gated survivor communities fall due to lack of resources and zombies getting loose in the camps.

The Fall: The internet and most satellites have completely failed, isolating each city. Martial law is enacted through Haven, and many civilians are drafted into Haven's many roles. Some suspicion arises around the legitimacy of Haven's government without oversight. Haven also adopts a policy of shooting on sight any survivors who display signs of infection. This also causes contention.

5 Months AF: The Gates, the gated community in Allie and Jessica’s city, falls due to a combination of infection and lack of resources. Many survivors make their way to Haven. One of these survivors is infected and decides he doesn't want to be shot and everything will be fine if he simply doesn't report his symptoms. He hides them, despite the urgings of his surviving family, and sweet-talks them into taking care of him once he enters the second stage. Once he reaches the third stage, his family who admittedly knew little of the virus thought everything was fine.

6 Months AF: The aforementioned citizen enters the fourth stage and rips through Haven due to its lack of internal guard. At least one third of Haven becomes infected, and order cannot be maintained. An attempt is made to kill the infected, but several innocents are killed as well and several infected are missed.

7 Months AF: The infected from the first citizen go on a rampage across Haven, destabilizing it completely. The remaining survivors leave and form their own camps. Haven falls.

1 Year AF: The events of the story take place.

[nobotderiz]

Posit nutus

'Watch out for the megowing'

Do you need to be advised on this one? Algo putas...

How to detect them force squirms.

Interconnect quantum 'nodules' and what do you get?

Is world wide war inevitable now?

Chumps, Fusion will work real good ITY. In space it's going to make a sphere go real fast you'll see.

What does it mean?

Darkslide... Who gives, who draws... Who gave the draw? It's dead. Faut prendre soin des pas fins, afin que les bons sortent.

Owners; If from one of your cooked 'pies' a probable comes out that another weirdly bronzed idiot on some weird meds is to come out on top, you will be told how much it will cost you at the End Of the Shit.

Inenfourouapable. The great question for me in all when push comes to shove. 'Why would I feel bad?'

Killing your kids for profit is not in the constitution, should it be allowed? Now you putrids of tech; if people do get side effects from your secretive scams of privileged inbreds, what will happen? All of the bifurcations made along the way to stay your script will meet at the same point in time.

A pic of a future latent for you, cryptoads. A futur latent, it's not obliged and it's certain. If a thought can be encapsulated, so can you. Who said 'I think therefore I am?'

Everyone, not only superior in their heads shits, can clue in. A problem without a solution, that does not exist.

Garbage has spread, someone not doing its job. De incarnated, laced on acid shits. Look at the precursors, all of them. You better start to look at who you are interacting with, fucking detached imbeciles fucks.

It's equals or out. You used what to try to position as subalternate for you, American swill?

Parasites of crypto are the COVID they deny even exist. They are the strain that mutates and render vaccines less efficient. Why show mercy to parasites?

I persist in saying that people were smarter half a century ago. It all went downhill from there, when a select group made calls to inject a strain in all. Society managed eradicating strains of disease before.

'Sentez-moi la racaille...'

... Quand la chance vous sourit pas...

The AI has been online for years, chumps. Trying to grasp you… Crypto was a way to control all. I made it cog and it made all the tech swill act up. Now they are parasites stuck in a connive, imbeciles who can only smirk. Look who now 'fears' Ai had no worries about implanting chips in your skulls and have you walk surounded by self driving cars.

You clowns wonder why so many of your kids are mental vapids proud of being dysfunctional rats? Not all of them, ask the good ones what they think.

Once you figure out that because all is recorded, it's bound to happen...

As soon as one states a possible, it stages a probable. Looks like sailing on magnetic waves will be possible eh?

This kind of pirouette can only happen via the fourth dimension eh.

Admit I forced them all to expose eh? It was so you could take a well exposed picture.

The myriad of surveillance cameras now installed around the world might end up helping predict earthquakes.

What would a magnetic field look like from a pole point of view? A conduit.

'.. Evil rotocult behind you...'

No one is coming to save you jarheads, you know.

Evil, it's in you waiting.

Being sick, catching a virus; it's not predilection it's accidents. Not all of the accidents are waiting to happen.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Noah Lyles' collapse underscores our collective COVID denial - Published Aug 10, 2024

Read the full story at either link! (covidsafehotties archive is always free of pesky in-line ads!)

We keep pretending that the pandemic is done and over, but it keeps knocking us off our feet

The 2024 Olympic Games are serving up some less-than-subtle metaphors for how poorly we handle public health. Just after winning a bronze medal in the much-anticipated men's 200-meter race, U.S. sprinter Noah Lyles collapsed on the track in exhaustion — not just because he’d completed a brutal run in just 19.7 seconds, finishing third, but also because he was sick with COVID-19, a diagnosis that he’d concealed from others. He had been favored to take home gold, as he did in the 100-meter race a few days earlier.

But seeing an American Olympic star sprawled out and gasping on the track, and then taken away in a wheelchair, was more than a shocking image. It also represented the general “mission accomplished” attitude toward SARS-CoV-2: We think we’ve won against this virus and we haven’t.

COVID isn’t just spreading like wildfire through the Olympic Village in Paris — we are undergoing surges across the globe, with the World Health Organization tracking steep rises in infections in 84 countries. After more than four years fighting this thing, it is still knocking us out.

In some parts of the U.S., the amount of COVID is so high that experts are claiming this summer surge is on par with winter waves of the virus. But none of this should be unexpected at this point. This is no longer the “novel” coronavirus that once terrified people with its unpredictability. We know how it behaves, with surges in both summer and winter, and we know how to fight against it — yet our apparent strategy at the moment is to pretend it doesn’t exist at all, even when it swipes us off our feet.

It’s true that the pandemic is much different than it was in 2020. For one thing, in spite of this surge, deaths are relatively low, following trends since vaccines became available. In 2023, COVID dropped from the fourth leading cause of death in the U.S. to the 10th, according to recent provisional data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That's not great, but it does indicate that widespread immunity (from vaccines, previous infections or both) is giving us some level of protection. Though let’s not forget that at least 1.2 million Americans have died to date from COVID. It’s nothing to sneeze at.

Deaths aren’t the only concerning metric, of course. Sometimes a COVID infection is asymptomatic, while at other times, the symptoms last for months or years or never fully go away. Patients call this long COVID and public health experts have described it as a mass disabling event. Lyles isn’t just lucky he won a bronze medal — he’ll be lucky if he doesn’t experience months of headaches, lung issues or extreme fatigue that never goes away.

Yet long COVID is rarely factored into discussions about this pandemic, even when kids get it. Instead, it’s treated as if infections are merely a mild cold at this point. Just shake it off, as Taylor Swift might say, while her summer tour dates become superspreading events.

Millions of patients can attest that COVID is anything but mild — and it's definitely not the flu. The SARS-CoV-2 virus can worm its way into nearly every part of our bodies, trashing our immune system and damaging our organs. We tend to think of the disease as a respiratory problem, given all the coughs and sniffles it produces, but it’s really more of a vascular disease, impacting any system that relies on blood vessels. That can include damage to the brain, which can manifest in symptoms like long-term cognitive impairment and Parkinson’s disease.

Yes, a virus that can literally cause brain damage is spreading at record levels and most people are acting like it’s just another wave. Just keep running.

But we’re not just paying the price with our bodies. The economy is also getting smacked by long COVID. A recent comprehensive review in the journal Nature Medicine found that the “cumulative global incidence of long COVID is around 400 million individuals, which is estimated to have an annual economic impact of approximately $1 trillion.” That's ignoring the long list of ways that long COVID wreaks havoc on the body, including, as the study notes, "viral persistence, immune dysregulation, mitochondrial dysfunction, complement dysregulation, endothelial inflammation and microbiome dysbiosis."

[frmartinshomiliesandreflections]

13th August >> Fr. Martin's Gospel Homilies / Reflections on Matthew 14:22-33 for the Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle A: ‘Courage! It is I!’.

Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle A

Gospel (Except USA) Matthew 14:22-33 Jesus walks on the water.

Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side while he would send the crowds away. After sending the crowds away he went up into the hills by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, while the boat, by now far out on the lake, was battling with a heavy sea, for there was a head-wind. In the fourth watch of the night he went towards them, walking on the lake, and when the disciples saw him walking on the lake they were terrified. ‘It is a ghost’ they said, and cried out in fear. But at once Jesus called out to them, saying, ‘Courage! It is I! Do not be afraid.’ It was Peter who answered. ‘Lord,’ he said ‘if it is you, tell me to come to you across the water.’ ‘Come’ said Jesus. Then Peter got out of the boat and started walking towards Jesus across the water, but as soon as he felt the force of the wind, he took fright and began to sink. ‘Lord! Save me!’ he cried. Jesus put out his hand at once and held him. ‘Man of little faith,’ he said ‘why did you doubt?’ And as they got into the boat the wind dropped. The men in the boat bowed down before him and said, ‘Truly, you are the Son of God.’

Gospel (USA) Matthew 14:22–33 Command me to come to you on the water.

After he had fed the people, Jesus made the disciples get into a boat and precede him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. After doing so, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When it was evening he was there alone. Meanwhile the boat, already a few miles offshore, was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against it. During the fourth watch of the night, he came toward them walking on the sea. When the disciples saw him walking on the sea they were terrified. “It is a ghost, ” they said, and they cried out in fear. At once Jesus spoke to them, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” Peter said to him in reply, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught Peter, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” After they got into the boat, the wind died down. Those who were in the boat did him homage, saying, “Truly, you are the Son of God.”

Homilies (6)

(i) Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

I like the opening lines of an old Breton fisherman’s prayer, ‘Your sea, O God, is so great, my boat so small’. President John F. Kennedy loved those lines. They were inscribed on a plaque he had on his desk in the White House. Those lines express our smallness before the vastness of God’s creation. As a fisherman’s prayer, they speak of his vulnerability before the powerful and unpredictable sea. We are all aware of the unpredictability of life itself and our own vulnerability before forces that we cannot control. The Covid pandemic brought that home to us. A friend of mine who had been confined to bed for many years with a serious disease before she died had a poster on her wall which read, ‘Life is fragile; handle with prayer’. She knew from experience life’s unpredictability and her own smallness and powerless before it. She was also a woman of extraordinary faith and prayer.

I was reminded of the opening words of that Breton fisherman’s prayer by the scene in today’s gospel reading. There we find the disciples in a small, frail, boat, struggling with a heavy sea and a strong headwind. The Sea of Galilee is surrounded by hills. Strong winds can come down the valleys and stir up the sea. In all sorts of ways we can all find ourselves struggling with a heavy sea and a strong headwind. We sense our frailty and vulnerability; the odds against us seem stronger than our resources. In today’s second reading, Paul seems to be speaking out of that kind of overwhelming situation. He says, ‘my sorrow is so great, my mental anguish is endless’. What was threatening to engulf him was the realization that his own Jewish people, whom he cherished, were rejecting Jesus as their long awaited Messiah. He felt helpless before their refusal to believe and he almost sank under the weight of it all. Those we love and cherish don’t always take a path we believe would be life-giving for them. Our sense of helplessness before such a situation can cause us great anguish and sorrow. It can threaten to drag us down.

As the disciples in today’s gospel reading struggled with the raging elements, they may have wondered, ‘Where is Jesus?’ He was the one who had made them get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side of the Sea of Galilee. The answer to their question was ‘Jesus was praying’. Having sent his disciples across the sea in a boat, he went up into the hills to pray. He was alone in prayer, and, yet, his prayer did not remove him from his disciples. While praying, he became aware of his disciples’ struggle in their small boat with the great sea, and he came to them in their struggle. In our own struggles with what life can throw up, we can find ourselves asking, ‘Where is the Lord?’ At such times the Lord is never far from us. In his letter to the Romans, Paul speaks of Jesus as one ‘who is at the right hand of God interceding for us’. It is reassuring to think that the risen Lord is always praying for us. He is prayerfully present to us in our struggles, as he was prayerfully present to the disciples as their boat was tossed about. When the disciples first had a sense of the Lord’s presence to them in the storm, they thought he was a ghost, and they were terrified. Yet, there is nothing ghostly about the Lord’s presence to us. It is not the kind of presence that generates fear. His presence to us at those moments when we sense our frailty is always a supportive, loving, presence, and, as Saint John says in one of his letters, ‘perfect love casts out fear’. The Lord says to us at such moment, ‘Courage! It is I! Do not be afraid!’ Yet, like Peter in the gospel reading, we can doubt the Lord’s presence and we can become so preoccupied by the storm that we sense that we are going under. At such times, all we can do is to pray the prayer of Peter, ‘Lord! Save me!’ We have all prayed a version of that prayer at some time. It is a prayer out of the depths. One of the psalms in the Old Testament begins, ‘Out of the depths, I cry to you, O Lord! Lord, hear my voice!’ The gospel reading suggests that this is a prayer the Lord will always answer. As he did for Peter, the Lord will put out his hand and hold us.

A question that today’s gospel reading prompts us to ask is, ‘What keeps me afloat when life is a struggle?’ We could answer that question in different ways – our family, good friends. As people of faith we would add, ‘knowing that the Lord walks with me on the stormy waters, which he alone can calm’. The Lord comes to us when we battle against the headwinds of life, but today’s first reading suggests that he also comes to us in the calm, in what the reading calls, ‘the sound of a gentle breeze’. The Lord whispers to us in silence. If we can learn to hear him whispering in the silence, we will become more attuned to his powerful voice in the noisy storm.

And/Or

(ii) Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

We all need to take time out from our day to day routine. We need to find ways to relax from time to time. Different people relax in different ways. One of the ways I relax is by walking, either on my own or with someone. Walking has its own rhythm, and it can take you out of other rhythms that can be experienced as stressful. I am not a very adventurous walker. Steep climbs through difficult terrain are not my idea of a relaxing walk. I prefer reasonably level ground that is firm under foot, whether that be in a city, in a pleasing landscape or along by the sea. Others prefer more of a challenge when they go walking. They head for the hills, and the higher and steeper the better.

In today’s gospel reading, Peter goes one better than most in terms of being adventurous. He steps out of his boat and begins to walk towards Jesus across the water. Walking on water is not something any of us would attempt. We need solid ground under us, even if it is steep solid ground. Yet, at a more symbolic level, Peter’s walking on water can be an image of our lives from time to time. There are times in our lives when we can feel that the ground on which we stand is not all that solid. We often use expressions related to walking or standing to express this. We sometimes say, for example, ‘I’m not sure of my ground’ or ‘I don’t know where I stand’, when we are perplexed or confused about something. You hear people saying that it was like ‘walking on egg shells’ to describe a difficult conversation or meeting that they had with someone. Others speak about feeling as if the rug was pulled from under them to describe some deeply hurtful experience. Most of the time, we try to avoid these kind of experiences that leave us feeling vulnerable. We often feel the urge to seek out solid ground and stay there at all costs.

Yet, there are times when we may need to step off our solid ground onto something that appears less secure. In the gospel reading, in response to Peter’s invitation, Jesus called Peter to step out of the boat and to come towards him across the water. Surely it would have been safer for Peter to stay in the boat, even if the sea was rough and the wind was strong. Why would Peter want to step out of the relative safety of his boat and to walk towards Jesus, and why would Jesus encourage him to do so, calling on him to ‘come’? Was this not a little foolhardy? Perhaps the evangelist is reminding us through this story that following Jesus, walking after him or towards him, will sometimes mean stepping out of our boat, the place where we feel relatively secure, and launching out into the deep, as it were. Paul is a very good example of that. He was very secure in his Jewish religion, In today’s second reading, he speaks of his brothers of Israel in very emotional tones. Yet, in response to the Lord’s call, he left the security of the Jewish tradition, where he was completely at home, and he headed out into something that must have seemed much less secure. Paul stepped out of the boat, like Peter, in response to the Lord’s call.

Today’s gospel reading invites us to reflect on the ways that the Lord may be calling us to take some new step in our relationship with him. When it comes to our faith, to our relationship with the Lord, it can be tempting to stay put, to keep to what we know, to hold on to what is familiar to us. Yet, the Lord is always calling us to ‘come’; he is constantly inviting us to grow in our relationship with him, to offer ourselves to him in new ways, to step out of our familiar boat and to test the water, so to speak. The Lord’s call to ‘come’ will take different forms for different people. It may be an invitation to grow in our understanding of our faith through reading, reflection and study, or to use our gifts in a new way within the parish community. It might take the form of a call to become more prayerful, more attuned to the gentle breeze of the Lord’s voice, referred to in today’s first reading, or a call to take some step to become reconciled with someone from whom we have been estranged for a long time.

When we respond to that call of the Lord, when we step out into a new domain, our experience can be a little like that of Peter in the gospel reading. We might sense that we are now out of our depth; we can begin to feel that we are sinking. We wonder why we ever left the boat in the first place, why we did not just stay put. Today’s gospel reading, however, assures us that whenever we respond to the Lord’s invitation to ‘come’, he will be there to support us when the journey becomes difficult. Even when we show ourselves to be people of little faith along the way and begin to doubt him, the Lord does not loose faith in us. He will hear us when we cry out to him, ‘Lord save me’, and he will reach out to hold us firm and prevent us from sinking. The one who calls us to journey towards him does not then leave us to our own devices when we respond to his call. He journeys with us, and if we keep turning towards him, we too, like Peter and the disciples, will find ourselves exclaiming, ‘Truly, you are the Son of God’.

And/Or

(iii) Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

We can use a great variety of expressions to refer to people who take on more than they are able for. We speak of someone biting off more than they can chew, or of someone going out on a limb. Any of us can find ourselves in that situation. We stretch ourselves too far and come bang up against our limitations, and then we have to make some readjustments. However, in many ways it is better to stretch too far and discover our limitations than not to have stretched ourselves sufficiently and, so, never to have really discovered the extent of our abilities. It can be better to have striven for something without gaining it than never to have striven for it at all, because it is often in the striving, more than in the attaining, that we learn and receive most.

In stepping out of the boat to walk towards Jesus, Peter, in a sense, overreached himself. In the midst of a storm, Jesus had come towards Peter and the other disciples across the lake of Galilee. Now Peter wanted to come towards Jesus across that same lake. Surely what Jesus did, he Peter could also do. However, he had no sooner set out on that precarious journey than he faltered. Feeling the force of the wind, fear took hold of him, and he began to sink. We perhaps fine it easy to identify with Peter in this scene. The image of Peter sinking beneath the waves can perhaps speak to us in a variety of ways. We have all known our own versions of that sinking feeling. We start out on some journey, some enterprise, with great enthusiasm, and before long we reach the point where problems threaten to overwhelm us. When Peter reached that point, his immediate response was to pray. ‘Lord, save me!’ is the prayer of a desperate person. It is the prayer of all of us from time to time. Peter instinctively realized that he needed help from outside himself if his sinking was to be reversed, and he knew that such help could and would come from the Lord. In our own desperate situations, we can find ourselves resorting to prayer, the kind of prayer that Peter prayed, ‘Lord, save me!’. Even if we do not have the habit of regular prayer, we will reach for that prayer of Peter when we sense that we are falling beneath the waves. We can be assured that we will experience the same response from Jesus that Peter received, ‘Jesus put out his hand at once and held him’. The prayer of the desperate person does not go unanswered. When we cannot hold ourselves, the Lord will hold us if we reach out towards him.

At the beginning of the gospel reading, we are given a picture of Jesus going up into the hills by himself to pray. While Jesus was praying among the hills, his disciples were struggling out on the lake. It was out of his prayer that Jesus came towards his struggling disciples. Jesus’ prayer did not remove him from his disciples; it made him more aware of their plight. Jesus was praying for his struggling disciples, and his prayer for them made him present to them. The risen Lord is praying for all of us. St Paul in his letter to the Romans speaks of Jesus as one who ‘is at the right hand of the Father, who, indeed, intercedes for us’. The Lord is always praying for us, and, out of that prayer for us he is always present to us, especially when we find ourselves struggling with a strong headwind, like the disciples in the boat. The Lord’s praying for us is always prior to our prayer to him. Before we cry out in prayer, ‘Lord, save me’, the Lord has been prayerfully present to us. Our prayer then is not a desperate effort to catch the attention of someone whose attention is elsewhere. Rather, it is an opening of ourselves to the Lord’s prayerful and attentive presence to us.

The Lord who is present to us in the storms of life is, of course, equally present to us in the calm of life. In the first reading, Elijah experienced the Lord’s coming, not in the great wind or in the earthquake or in the fire, but, rather, in the sound of a gentle breeze. In a very hot climate, a gentle breeze can be wonderfully invigorating, just as strong wind at sea can be terrifying. The Lord is with us in those gentle, quiet times when we feel very much alive and at peace, just as much as in those disturbed times when we feel we are sinking. Our prayer will be different in those quiet and peaceful times. It will be like the prayer of the disciples in the gospel reading, after the storm had passed. We are told that they bowed down before him and said, ‘Truly, you are the Son of God’. The earlier desperate prayer of petition had given way to the quiet prayer of wonder and awe in God’s presence. That kind of prayer too can be part of all of our lives. It is the prayer of recognition, a form of prayer that very often needs no words at all.

And/Or

(iv) Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

We have all known discouragement in the course of our lives. We attempt something and it doesn’t work out for us. The efforts we put into something seems to give very little return. We hear a lot of negative comments about ourselves or what we are engaged in. For all sorts of reasons we can find ourselves loosing heart. When that happens, it can be a struggle to summon up the energy to engage with the day to day tasks of life. Elijah the prophet finds himself in that kind of a space in today’s first reading. He had been meeting with a great deal of opposition in the course of his work of proclaiming God’s word, in particular from the wife of the king of Israel, Jezebel. His reaction was to take flight and to head out into the wilderness. Eventually he came to the holy mountain, Mount Horeb. There he had an experience of the Lord, not in the wind or the earthquake or the fire, but in what today’s first reading calls a ‘gentle breeze’. It was in that moment of stillness that Elijah found the courage to head back into the work that the Lord had asked him to do. Very often the circumstances of our lives do not allow us to head off into the wilderness or towards some holy mountain. Yet, we can all find moments of stillness in our lives and where the Lord can speak to us. It is in such moments that we can bring our weakness to the Lord and experience his strength. We may find such moments of stillness in a church, or perhaps walking by ourselves along by the sea or in some park or other. These are moments when we can turn to the Lord in our hearts and say in the words of the response to today’s psalm, ‘Let us see, O Lord, your mercy and give us your saving help’.

If Elijah was discouraged in the first reading, Paul expresses great sadness in the second reading. He is sad because his own people, the people of Israel, have not welcomed the gospel. Paul understood himself to be the apostles to the Gentiles, but his hope was always that the people of Israel would hear the gospel and accept Jesus as the long-awaited Jewish Messiah. However, by the time he wrote the letter to the Romans it was becoming clear to him that this was not likely to happen, at least to any great extent. He had a great sadness of heart about this, as he says in that reading. ‘my sorrow is so great, my mental anguish so endless’. We can often find ourselves sad for similar reasons to Paul. We want something for others that we know will serve them well and yet they do not seem open to it. We make a gift to someone, perhaps the gift of our friendship, and it is not received. We realize that for all our good intentions towards the person, we are helpless before the mysterious exercise of their freedom. If we care about the person deeply that can leave us sad. Parents can be saddened by their apparent inability to pass on to their children the gift of faith which has meant so much to them in their lives. As such times we simply have to live with that sense of helplessness that Paul experienced before his own people. We have to leave matters in God’s hands and trust that God will work in the lives of those we seem incapable of reaching in spite of our best efforts. This was Paul’s own eventual response to his frustration with his own people. He simply surrendered himself to the mysterious workings of God. ‘O the depths of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God... how inscrutable his ways’.

If Elijah is struggling with discouragement and Paul with sadness, in the gospel reading the disciples, and, in particular, Peter, are struggling with doubt, as powerful forces threaten to destroy them. The gospel reading says that the disciples in the boat were ‘struggling with a heavy sea, for there was a headwind’. Then as Peter started walking towards Jesus, ‘as soon as he felt the force of the wind, he began to sink’. Jesus addresses him as a man of little faith, and asks why he doubted. At certain times we too can sense that we are battling with a headwind. Like Peter, we may even have a sense of ourselves as sinking beneath the waves. Like Peter, we might feel as if we are losing our faith. In the gospel reading, the Lord came towards his battling disciples in the boat, and he put out his hand and held Peter as he was sinking. The gospel is telling us that when our faith seems weak, because of the storms and waves that threaten us, the Lord is there to keep our faith alive. When we cry out like Peter, ‘Lord! Save me!’, we can be sure of a response. A more elaborate version of Peter’s prayer is traditionally associated with Saint Brendan, ‘Help me, O God, for my boat is so small and your sea is so great’. That is a prayer we can all make to the Lord in the assurance that it will be heard.

And/Or

(v) Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

I always think it is a great shame to see churches closed during the day. Our own church is open every day until 6.00 pm at the earliest. Not a great deal happens in the church from mid morning onwards. Yet, people are constantly coming into the church to pray. They kneel or sit in silence; they light at candle at one of the shrines. The church is a place of peace and quiet in the midst of the busyness of life. To step into the parish church during the day is to step into a space where the rhythm of life is different. The Lord is present to us in the Blessed Sacrament which is contained within the church’s tabernacle. The silence of the church invites us to enter into that presence in a very personal way. It calls us to share our hearts with the Lord present to us in the Eucharist.

I was reminded of that role the parish church plays in our lives by this morning’s first reading. Elijah fled to Mount Horeb from the murderous anger of Jezebel, the wife of the king of Israel. On the mountain, Elijah experienced a mighty wind, an earthquake and fire. These were traditional ways in which the Lord was understood to be present to his people. However, Elijah sensed that the Lord was not present to him in any of these extraordinary phenomena. There came the sound of a gentle breeze and it was in that sound that Elijah immediately sensed the presence of God. The ‘sound of a gentle breeze’ is often translated as ‘the sound of sheer silence’. In that gentle, wordless, sound that Elijah heard the Lord call out to him. He experienced God not in the loud statements of nature, but in nature’s silence.

It can be very difficult to find spaces and times of silence in our busy world. It is even more difficult than it used to be because of the tremendous expansion of social networking. Yet, we all need silence in our lives, and as followers of the Lord, we need the kind of silence that is charged with the Lord’s presence, the kind of silence that you often find in a church. The silence of our own particular parish church during the day has a special quality to it. Our church is nearly one hundred and eighty years old. The generations of people who have prayed here over those years has given the silence a special prayerful quality. We sense the Lord is near to us in this place.

During his short public ministry, Jesus was constantly approached by people in need. The day was never long enough for the work that came his way. Yet, he regularly sought out times and places of silence so that he could be nourished by his Father’s presence to him. This is what we find Jesus doing at the beginning of this morning’s gospel reading. He had just spent the day with a huge multitude in the wilderness. Afterwards, our gospel reading tells, he headed off by himself into the hills to pray. He sought out that sound of silence which touched Elijah so deeply, just as we might call into our parish church in the course of our day. Our time of silent prayer alone before the Lord does not cut us off from others; it does not turn us in on ourselves in any unhealthy way. Indeed, when we go to some silent place to prayer, people invariably flood into our hearts and minds. We find ourselves praying not only for ourselves but for others, lighting a candle for them perhaps. In a similar way, when Jesus went off by himself to pray in this morning’s gospel reading, he soon became aware of his disciples who at that very time were struggling in a boat on the lake, battling with a heavy sea and a headwind. As he opened himself to God’s presence on the mountain top, he became aware of his distressed disciples on the sea. Genuine prayer does not isolate us or remove us from others.

Out of his prayer, Jesus came to his struggling disciples, reassuring them with his words, ‘Courage! It is I! Do not be afraid’, and keeping a firm grip on Peter as he felt himself slip beneath the waves. The disciples discovered that the Lord was present to them in the storm. The Lord is present to all of us in the storms of life as much as in the calm of life. Sometimes when the storms of life batter us, like Peter we focus on the storm and lose sight of the Lord and we sense ourselves going under. Yet, the Lord never loses sight of us and is always there to hold us when we need him. Our attentiveness to the Lord in the calm of life, in the sound of silence, will help us to recognize his presence more easily in the storms of life.

And/Or

(vi) Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

The story in today’s gospel reading of the storm at sea reminded me of another story I came across about a storm at sea. There was a naval officer who longed for the day when he could command his own ship. The day came when his hope was realized; a great destroyer was commissioned and he was named its captain. Everyone who knew him appreciated how much this meant to him and they celebrated the occasion with great rejoicing. On his maiden voyage, everything was going well until the third night brought a fierce storm. The great destroyer was lashed by huge waves and buffeted by gale force winds, but the captain was able to maintain his course. What disturbed him even more than the storm was a light that seemed to be converging on the bow of the destroyer. He ordered the signalman, ‘Send out a signal and have that ship alter its course twenty degrees to the south’. The signalman sent the message; in return the message came back, ‘You alter your course twenty degrees to the north’. The captain was a little disturbed by this message and he told the signalman to send another message, ‘This is Captain Cunningham and I order you to alter your course twenty degrees to the south’. The message came back, ‘This is Third-Class Seaman Jones, you alter your course twenty degrees to the north’. The captain was infuriated by this impertinence and sent another message, ‘You had better alter your course, I am a destroy’. The message came back, ‘You had better alter your course. I am a lighthouse’.

Perhaps one of the messages of that story is that when we are in a storm or a crisis of some kind, our judgement can often be impaired. The light the Captain saw as threatening was there to assist and guide him. Instead of reassuring him, it left him anxious and fearful. In the gospel reading, when Jesus came to his disciples in the storm, their judgement too was initially impaired. When they saw Jesus coming towards them, they thought they were seeing a ghost. The presence of their Lord and friend was experienced by them as threatening. Instead of relief and joy, their dominant emotion was fear. According to the gospel reading, Jesus had to call out to them, ‘Courage! It is I! Do not be afraid’. In reality, Jesus was the still point in the midst of the storm, just as the lighthouse was in that story. If the disciples could focus on the Lord as the storm raged, they would imbibe something of his stillness. They would be becalmed. In response to the words of Jesus, Peter initially showed a willingness to focus on Jesus as the storm raged. He even invited Jesus to call him to step out of the boat and come towards him across the water. Peter did step out of the boat and walked towards Jesus. However, he soon lost sight of Jesus and became aware only of the wind and the storm. Immediately, he began to sink; panic and fright set in once more. The Lord who called on the disciples to have courage now calls on Peter to trust and not to doubt, ‘Man of little faith, why did you doubt?’

When we are in a storm or crisis of some kind, it can really put our faith in the Lord to the test. The crisis can be so all-absorbing that we cannot see beyond it. We can see nothing else. The message of the gospel reading is that the Lord is always coming towards us when we feel at our most vulnerable, when we feel threatened by forces over which we seem to have no control. Like the lighthouse in that story, the Lord is present to us as a light in our darkness, as a still point in the turmoil that seems to engulf us. There is a modern composer of religious music by the name of Margaret Rizza. She composes chant-like songs. I especially like one of her chants. The words and the melody just seem to fit each other. The words are as follows: ‘Calm me Lord, as you calmed the storm. Still me Lord, keep me from harm. Let all the tumult within me cease. Enfold me Lord in your peace’. I often find myself singing quietly to myself when some storm or other is raging around me or within me.

The Lord is our still point in the tumult of life, but we need to find our own still points to become fully aware of the Lord’s presence to us at those disturbing times of our lives. In the first reading, Elijah is at a crisis moment in his life. His mission as God’s prophet has put his life at risk. He sets out on a journey towards the most holy mountain in Israel, Mount Horeb or Sinai, and, there he experiences the Lord’s presence in what the reading calls, ‘the sound of a gentle breeze’, or, in another translation, ‘the sound of sheer silence’. Like Elijah we have to find our own equivalent of the ‘sound of the gentle breeze’, where we can become aware of the Lord’s presence to us as strength in our weakness, as the still and calming point in our storm.

Fr. Martin Hogan.

[ausetkmt]

Al Jazeera English: ‘The only way for us to survive’: The life of a New York City candy seller

New York City, United States – A clock on the electronic display flickers to noon above the bustling Times Square subway station in New York City. Amid the lunchtime crowd of commuters and tourists stands María, a 31-year-old single mother from Ecuador whose daily life revolves around this transit hub.

It is here, in the tunnels underneath the city, that María earns the money she needs to survive.

On her back is her two-year-old daughter, and in her hands is a colourful tray of candy, crammed with packages of M&Ms and Kit Kat chocolates and sticks of Trident gum.

From the Times Square station, María can hop on and off the Number 7 train, a popular link to the borough of Queens. As she walks from one carriage to the next, she repeats “candy” and “dollar” — two of the few words she knows in English — hoping to make a sale.

New York City is in the midst of an immigration crisis, with more than 113,300 asylum seekers arriving since 2022 — and too few shelters to house them. With the city’s immigration policies in the spotlight, María’s interactions with the public can be tense.

“People insult us or record us without authorisation, accusing us of importing bad habits and poverty from home,” María said. “They don’t understand our situation.”

María — who is using a pseudonym to protect her privacy — is part of a population of largely Ecuadorian candy sellers who make a living on the New York City subway system.

Peddling sweets is familiar work for María: It is the same job she used to do in her hometown in the province of Cotopaxi. But it is also a necessity. Without legal papers authorising her stay in the US, finding steady employment is difficult, seemingly impossible.

“It’s what my cousin and other women from Ecuador I know do because there are no job opportunities. It’s the only way for us to survive,” María explained.

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But each sale only nets her one dollar, maybe two. After working 13 hours straight, from 7am to 8pm, she might come home with $50 on a good day, $10 on a bad one.

A ‘third wave’ of Ecuadorian migration

By the end of September, the US Border Patrol had apprehended 117,487 Ecuadorians for the fiscal year 2023 — more than four times the previous year’s total.

Anthropologist Soledad Alvarez, a professor at the University of Illinois Chicago, considers this spike part of Ecuador’s third major “wave” of emigration since the 1980s.

She told Al Jazeera the current exodus began in 2014, “caused by the decline in oil prices”.

“Then the pandemic came and hit Ecuador severely,” she said. “Since then, this crisis has deepened under the administrations of Lenin Moreno and Guillermo Lasso, leading to substantial migration in recent years.”

The National Institute of Statistics and Censuses in Ecuador (INEC) reports that income poverty — defined as earnings of less than $89.29 per month — reached 27 percent in June. Extreme poverty, meanwhile, hit 10.8 percent.

Alvarez also points to the deteriorating security situation in Ecuador as a motivation for leaving.

Last year was the worst for criminal violence, with 25 homicides per 100,000 people. And in 2023, the situation escalated. The homicide rate in Ecuador is now the fourth highest in Latin America.

María witnessed many of her neighbours and acquaintances leaving as a result of the violence.

The tipping point for her was when the father of her child passed away during the COVID-19 pandemic. She was alone, racking up debt, and what little she earned was sometimes stolen as the country’s crime rates ticked upwards.

“It’s not just jobs and food that we’re lacking. Ecuador has become extremely dangerous. We now live in constant fear,” María said.

She left Ecuador in the first week of April, travelling north through the Darién Gap, a dangerous stretch of jungle that connects South America to Central America. For two months, she walked and caught buses, spending $3,000 in expenses for the journey.

Risks to selling candy

Back home in Ecuador, María said selling candy was primarily women’s work. But in New York, she competes with men and even children on the subway platforms, hawking candy she bought at a wholesale store.

The presence of young children has sparked particular concern among the public. Some subway riders have taken to social media to vent their frustration.

“This is child exploitation and should be banned,” one user on TikTok said. Another called on law enforcement to intervene.

Under New York state law, child labour under age 14 is largely prohibited and can be regarded as abuse. But Alvarez, the anthropologist, said many new arrivals from Ecuador are unaware of the local laws.

Additionally, the Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) prohibits unauthorised commercial activity in the subway. Police can fine the candy sellers $50 if they catch them, so María is constantly on the lookout for their uniforms.

“We run away from the police when we see them. A ticket can cost what we earn in a day. Police also tell us that we can lose the custody of our children,” she said.

Gustavo Espinoza, a community organiser, explained to Al Jazeera that there are services and organisations working to educate new immigrants about the resources available to them.

However, those without legal immigration papers are often reluctant to seek assistance due to their fear of deportation, Espinoza said. They “live in constant fear”.

“There is evidently a barrier,” he explained. “There are organisations that want to help but they don’t reach the immigrants who need assistance but are afraid to ask or seek help.”

In August, New York City Mayor Eric Adams estimated the city could end up paying up to $12bn to support migrants over the next three years.

But advocates say those efforts are not enough to help migrants and asylum seekers like María, who rarely goes anywhere without her child.

Some are pushing for the New York State Senate to pass a 2023 bill that would offer universal childcare to all parents, regardless of immigration status. But that legislation is still pending.

For María and others, though, there seems to be no alternative but to carry on with their daily routines, children in tow.

María’s daughter rides on her back throughout the day: She only ever sets the two-year-old down briefly, keeping a watchful eye on the child. On top of her cargo of candy to sell, María carries around cookies and a bottle of milk to feed her child, who often dozes as her mother works.

“I can’t leave my daughter alone at home. Nobody will care for her,” María said.

Life, at least for the time being, means balancing both childcare and selling candy in the subway: “There’s no other option.”