#Forever heartbroken over the merch answer | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

itslunarwritesstuff · 5 years ago

Text

More than this

Word Count: 10, 000 (grab some popcorn this is gonna take a while)

Summary: Colson and Y/N have been friends since high school and for the past few years he has seen her get her heartbroken and hurt by guys who are not worth it. Well after a date gone wrong he picks her up and things in their friendship take a drastic turn.

Contains: Friends to lovers trope, Fluff, a teeny bit of angst, Cuddling.

Warnings: Language, Unconsenual touching (from a date, not Colson)

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

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You’re spread out upright on a patio chair relaxing for what seems like the first time in forever, the sun warming your cheeks in a soothing gesture.

Your eyes shoot open at an abrupt yell, “ROOK” you knew that voice all too well.

“Jesus Colson you practically scared me into the next life!” you said startling him as well.

“Sorry Y/N didn’t realize you were here” Colson walked over to you taking a seat on the chair next to yours.

Nodding as to acknowledge his apology you say “I used my key, hope that’s okay.” swinging your legs over to the side to face him.

“Well yeah that’s the whole reason you have a key, well that and when the rest of us are too messed up to unlock the door” You both laughed at the memories of how many times you had to come over at the ass crack of dawn because no one had their keys on them or miraculously lost all their copies.

“Y/N/N I don’t see why you don’t just take the extra room we have here, You’re practically here all the time anyway. Could save money on rent.”

You shot him a look as if you were saying ‘Yeah Right’.

“What? Is it cause the room is a bit small, cause if that’s it then I’m sure ROOK wouldn’t mind trading with you” Colson smiles kindly but saying the last part louder to ensure Rook heard him.

“Suck my dick” Rook came out on the patio with his middle fingers up and a smirk plastered on his face. You knew what was about to happen and so you got up and started to walk to the other side of the yard as to try and avoid the tornado that is Colson and Rook when they tussle; “Ooo bad move Rook” you jokingly seethed with laughter.

Colson was bolting towards Rook catching him off guard and the two men were trying to pin each other but instead twisted together still barreling around.

Not looking where they were going and you not fully paying attention, the two grown men’s bodies hit you full force causing you to fall into the pool.

The men unraveled from each other when they heard the splash, knowing they were in deep shit now.

When you emerge from the water, head just above the surface you look at the men who caused this chain of events and say “I am so getting you guys back for this…” Rook and Colson gave each other a look that was their way of planning their escape but you finished “...at some point. Just not now.”

You could see them both relax instantly, it wasn’t because they were afraid of you but it was because they knew what you were capable of doing when provoked that was also one of the reasons they loved you as well.

Colson bent down and helped you out of the pool pulling you upwards by your slippery hands, you fell against him but quickly recovered standing back up on your own two feet.

Soaking wet, your once dry and slightly oversized t-shirt now clung to your body in the most uncomfortable way possible, being more comfortable here even than you do at your own home you pull the shirt over your head and hang it over the chair from earlier so it can dry in the sun.

Left in your bra and spandex shorts you looked at Colson and Rook they seemed to have snapped themselves out of some kind of a trance as they made eye contact with you as you turned around. “You guys have any clothes I can borrow,” you ask the dumbfounded duo a few feet in front of you.

Rook is the first to answer his eyes looking everywhere but your face “Uh yeah…” Colson shoots him a glare that you didn’t catch, your focus only on Rook as he spoke.

“Remember you have your section in my closet” Colson interrupts.

You nod “Oh yeah I forgot about that, thanks guys”.

Being a bit confused by the energy in the air you led the way into the house waiting for at least one of them to follow but they just stood there heads and eyes following your movements.

Cause to you, you were just taking off a wet shirt; but to them, it was like a slow-motion beach scene in a movie. Sexy background music and all.

Shaking your head in confusion you continue your way into the house and up the stairs to Colson’s room.

Usually, he freaked about having people in here without him but with you it was different; you and Colson had been friends since high school you being a few years younger than him. And even if you guys lived in different states or how drastic your lifestyles were, the two of you have always been close over the years no matter what. And you would be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy living closer now than in

years past.

Going straight to his closet you find your drawer the one he gave to you in case you spent the night or for emergencies such as this one. Pulling out some underwear you strip right there feeling relieved to get the wet clothes off your shivering body. Pulling on the underwear you grab a pair of joggers that are from his merch site from a while back and finally instead of grabbing one of your t-shirts from the drawer you sift through the hangers until you find a shirt of his that is thick and long perfect for being cozy. Before slipping the shirt on you mentally thank yourself for the dry sports bra in the drawer and swap that with the bra currently dripping down your back.

Downstairs Colson, Rook, Baze, and Slim have all congregated to the living room.

Rook had told the guys about what happened at the pool not even twenty minutes ago.

Slim just looked at Colson then Rook and shook his head cause he knew how oblivious you were about things sometimes. Hearing your footsteps approaching, the group stopped talking and tried to find a different conversation topic. Redirecting the topic Colson asks “Hey Y/N/N what are you doing tonight? Do you want to hang here and we can do something?”

You plop down on the arm of the chair next to him even though there are plenty of empty seats and answer “Well usually I would but I’ve got plans for once. How are you guys going to survive without me” playful sarcasm coming from the second half of your sentence.

Colson looked up at you for the first time since you came into the room and sees you wearing his shirt and everyone else notices it too. He goes to reach for the fabric currently pooling around your hips while sitting but mentally stops himself, Colson backtracks and says “Yeah right, plans. Plans to steal more of my shirts is it.” he lets out a forced laugh but even though you buy it the rest of the group can see the internal battle going on inside his head.

The rest of the guys just watch your banter and you reply with “Ha Ha. But I’m serious I do have plans tonight with a guy named David.” Rook blurts out “So a date.”

You nod “Yeah like a date.”

Slim let out a playful “Ooo” and you chuck one of the nearby pillows at him.

“Oh grow up guys. Besides maybe this time it will work out” You say with hope lining your words.

The guys all stare at you with sorry in their eyes knowing how unlucky your past relationships and dates have gone. Been cheated on or left for pretty much no reason many times and the amount of times guys have canceled last minute or not followed up for a second date was way past counting at this point,

“But anyway I should get going here in a minute.” Just as you’re about to stand up and make your way to grab your things and leave, Colson surprises both of you when he grabs your hand his eyes painted with panic. You look at him with expecting eyes and he chokes out “Uh...Um...Be careful tonight ‘kay. And if you need me just call…” his eyes connect with yours, a strange warm feeling crawling up to your chest “...I’m here for you always Y/N.”

Your stomach does an unexpected flip but you pass it off as just a friendly reaction to his kind and meaningful words. “I will, I Love you, Colson” you bend down slightly and leave a soft kiss on his cheek while the rest of the group just watches the interaction unfold in front of their eyes, knowing something that neither of you can see or admit to yourselves.

Pulling your hand from Colson’s you smile to everyone and say goodbye before leaving.

Colson still sat there, lost in his own head it seemed. After a while, Colson’s hand had slowly made its way to his cheek, tracing the spot where you had kissed him.

The guys still sat silent as they continued to watch their friend fall into his own little world.

Then Colson snapped back to reality and his face went hard turning to Slim.

Slim knew his best friend enough to know he was angry and had a plan brewing in his head.

“Alright what is it?” Slim asked.

“What do you mean” Colson gets defensive.

“How are you going to stop this guy from going out with Y/N” Slim sighed knowing that’s what this has led to. “It’s not like you know who the guy is this time ‘round” Rook says.

“And you really shouldn’t just show up there” Slim bounced back.

Colson’s eyebrows are furrowed as he thought and then Baze jumps in and says “I think you guys should just let her be and let her enjoy her night. I mean sabotaging her dates isn’t going to work forever you know. One day she is going to catch on and it’s going to suck for all of us.”

Slim counters by saying “But you know why we can’t just stop.” Slim points to Colson’s direction with his head trying his best to be secretive while Colson is in the room.

Baze nods and Colson says “No, Baze is right. This is wrong, she can handle herself.”

Surprised looks cross Baze, Slim, and Rook; that was definitely not what they were expecting.

But they agreed with him nonetheless, knowing that meddling in your love life wasn’t right no matter what the circumstances were and are.

“Alright, Imma go clean my room,” Colson said, his features were gloomy and withdrawn.

After Colson is upstairs the remaining three discuss the situation at hand.

“What are we going to do if she ends up liking this random guy?” Slim asks rhetorically.

“I know I won’t like him if Y/N ends up bringing him around here,” Rook says crossing his arms.

Everyone in that house is your family and by the few times, you have brought a guy around they were as nice as they could be but it was as if they knew the man’s true intentions before you did.

“Guys, We have all seen the way those two look at each other. That doesn’t just go away, whether they notice it or not Y/N and Colson are tied to each other. But we may have to push them a bit for them to see that they fucking like each other, or I might go crazy.”

When Colson got upset he would usually do one or all of the following; party and get trashed, make music, or would clean his room. For this current situation, he figured cleaning his space would hopefully put him in a better mood. He didn’t understand what bothered him so much about Y/N going out on a date or even dates in general. He just figured he was a good friend and was protecting her from getting heartbroken, this was not the case though.

Hanging shirts up in his closet wasn’t clearing his mind as he hoped but thankfully his phone dinged from the bed. Picking it up and unlocking it he sees it is a message from you; it is a picture of you dressed up, your eyebrows furrowed and tongue stuck out in a goofy way. The message said ‘Wish me luck’, he couldn’t think of what to say that wasn’t way out of line so he just sent a few thumbs up and hearts hoping that was enough.

In your apartment you put on some chapstick before going out the door but your phone buzzes in your hand, unlocking it is a response from Colson of three emojis a thumbs up and two hearts.

You smile at your phone and leave.

Getting to the bar you’re supposed to meet David at you thank your driver in the hopes that if things go well he could drive you home.

Taking a seat at the bar you text him telling him you’re there he responds right away with a short ‘Almost there’.

You set your phone down and order a drink before he arrives.

After about another five minutes David arrives and you stand up from your stool and greet with him with a friendly hug.

“Y/N you are looking great,” David says his hands lingering on your hips.

This was the first date after all and you barley knew this guy beside that he worked with a friend of yours so you pushed his hands off of you in a sly manner and took a seat back at your stool.

Trying to make sure things get off on the right foot you say thank you to his compliment and ask some basic questions. “So David, What are some of your hobbies” you bring your drink to your lips.

David has got on a blazer with an undershirt and a tie with the pants to match, conventionally he is pretty attractive but typically not the type of guy you would go for at all. Laidback and down for anything was definitely more your type which this guy definitely not; but you were more than willing to give him a chance considering the current lack of romantic companionship in your life.

David went on about how he was really into art collecting and you were relieved that you guys had something somewhat in common. He shows you a few of his favorite pieces on his phone and you say “Oh that’s really cool. I actually paint in my free time.” That was a bit of an understatement for sure but he was intrigued so it worked.

“Oh really? Let me see, maybe they’re good enough for my collection.” you try your best to not let your face go sour at the tone of his comment as if his opinion made you or your art worth something.

But you take out your phone unlocking it, then taking a moment to appreciate and remember the memory attached to your wallpaper. Its a picture of you and Colson at EST fest the past summer, you were covered in paint cause you thought it was a great idea to let the others paint on you for fun. After Colson painted a penis on your arm you took some of the pink paint and smeared it across his face and some of it in his hair; he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder the both of you laughing and the smiles that were smeared on your faces just like the paint was captured in the photo. And it never failed to make you smile and invite a warm feeling into your chest.

I guess you were looking at the photo for a bit too long cause David was snapping his fingers in your face and said “Come on your attention is supposed to be on me” oh god this was not going well.

After showing him a few of your paintings and him giving you backhanded compliments like “I mean its no Banksy but I guess for a hobby painter for yourself its okay.”

You are well into your third drink waiting for this date to be over when David grabs you by the wrist and all but basically drags you to the dance floor; the only reason you don’t move or protest is because of how shocked you are that he would grab you like that without your permission.

“Come on let’s dance,” he says way too close for comfort.

“Um I am good, I should get going anyways I’ve got something to do in the morning.” You say trying to find the easiest way to get out of the situation.

But he wasn’t having any of it, pulling you unwantedly closer to his body he says “But we wouldn’t want that sweet little outfit to go to waste now would we…” he sickly hisses into your ear and his hands grope you, that’s it.

“No!” you yell and you somehow manage to create some space between you and David pushing him away from you and even though he tries to bring you back in with protest, you turn and start to walk away.

He makes another attempt to grab at you, you turn around swiftly and punch him in the nose; falling over blood everywhere. “Oh, that is definitely broken,” you think to yourself.

Sprinting to the nearest exit you also thank yourself for wearing sensible shoes, not quite knowing when to stop you keep running until you’re back to a familiar street and there is no impending doom.

Taking your phone from your pocket you go to open the taxi app but hesitate and after some internal contemplating you decide it is best to call someone you know would make you feel safe.

Colson picks up after only a few rings, answering with a “Y/N what’s up. You okay?”.

You weren’t feeling teary-eyed before but after hearing Colson’s voice all of your emotions pour out and you choke out a sob. Colson’s tone goes from casual to worried real quick and quickly asks “Where are you? I’m coming to get you, are you safe until I get there?”

Somehow you manage to tell him where you were and that yes you were safe for the time being.

“I’ll be there soon okay baby girl. And I’m bringing the bike.” even just his voice soothed you.

He hangs up once you confirm again that you’re in fact safe. You put your hair into a quick braid so when you’re on the bike your hair doesn’t rat and matt together.

Not too long after the call you hear the roar of Colson’s motorcycle coming round the corner. You wave your hand above your head to make sure he sees you and he does.

Pulling over to the curb you wait for him to shut everything off, but once he is off of his seat you’re melting into his embrace not caring about the eyes that stare nearby.

“Shh its okay, I got you. I got you.” Colson whispers into your hair his hands rubbing your back.

His chest muffled the sounds of your sobs as he let you cry it out, not prying you to tell him what happened just yet.

Once you feel like you have gotten it all out of your system you tilt your head up towards his and say “Can we go now please.” your voice comes out hoarse and unrecognizable.

Colson can’t stand seeing you like this and not knowing what happened to make you a mess like this either. But he will wait for you to tell him, for now at least.

His hands smoothed over your hair with his chin resting against your forehead. This was going to be all over the internet tomorrow but surprisingly he wasn’t thinking about any of that.

"Where do you want to go sweetheart?" Colson asked while his fingers rubbed circles into your back.

You always loved it when he would sprinkle casual pet names like that into a conversation, it always made you feel some type of way.

"Can we not go home yet. Just anywhere but home right now. I don't want the guys to see me like this" Colson’s heart leaps at the fact that you consider the house home.

His hands smooth over your shoulders one last time.

"I think I know the perfect place. Come on."

You nod and grab the helmet and clip it under your chin. Colson nods to you to ask if you’re ready you nod back.

Revving the engine Colson gives you one last look and you wrap your arms around his back.

At first, you guys go slow because of the bustling streets of the city but the further out you get the faster he goes.

The wind doesn’t quite hit your face, it’s more like the breeze is giving you a hug cause it envelopes your entire body and the features of your face.

You guys go over a small hill and your stomach does a fun little flip, your arms tighten as a reaction and you can hear Colson let out a hearty laugh. Everything about this moment was exhilerating; the speed and the warmth radiating off of Colson’s body gave you butterflies, a whole swarm of them.

Leaning into him more, you realize just how grateful you’re to have someone as kind and caring as him in your life and remind yourself to thank him for everything.

After riding for about forty-five minutes Colson turns into this gravel area and stops the bike.

There is a bench that is softly lit by the nearby street light and you can faintly make out some stars in the sky, the ones you rarely saw because of the amount of light pollution that is everywhere in Los Angeles.

The both of you stand up and you wait for Colson to get off of the bike to swing your leg over and set your already unclipped helmet aside.

Your attention shifts up to Colson who’s hair is messed up more than usual because of the cool night breeze that touseled it on the way there, you smiled and reached up on your tiptoes to try and smooth down the blond mop on his head.

“What are you doing to my head?” Colson chuckles.

“Trying to fix it” you are in his personal space and he only realizes how close you’re when you bring your hand back down and stand normally.

“So what is this place?” you asked the question on your mind.

Colson scratched the back of his neck and ran his hand through his hair mussing it yet again.

“I uh found this place one night while trying to clear my head. It’s far enough out that you can see some of the stars clearly on nights like this. And I remember you saying how much you like just looking at the stars back at the fest last year. And well... here we are.” he explains.

Honestly, you’re surprised that Colson remembers that, I mean after being friends for all these years you shouldn’t be surprised but yet here he is hands stuffed in his pockets with one of those barely-there smiles plastered on his face. And just something about the entire situation made you smile as well.

Grabbing Colson’s wrist you drag him to the edge of this hill right where the slight drop off is that leads to this open field filled with flowers and grass.

You look at him with eyes full of spirit and say “We are going down there to properly stargaze”.

“Like in some cheesy coming of age teen movie,” Colson asks humor filling his tone.

You nod fast and boop his nose, excited ignoring his attempt to poke fun at your idea “Exactly.”

Without another word, you let go of him and slide down the side of the hill then letting your legs go and run the rest of the way, leaving Colson behind laughing too hard.

When you reach the spot you had chosen to stargaze you stare up to the top of the hill and yell “Come on big bird!”

Colson gets this rush at you calling him by the nickname you haven’t used in years.

He does the same as you but his long legs get caught up in the momentum and he legit cannot stop but luckily you chose a spot far enough out that the least he does is fall beside you on the grassy knoll.

You’re laughing so hard your hands grip your stomach for some sort of relief but to no avail, you just laugh harder when Colson uses a playfully serious voice and face then says “What are you laughing about missy”. Laughter overcame both of you, you fall over from the intensity of it and your head hits Colson’s chest and a couple of snorts escaped you making the whole thing more comedic.

Looking up to the sky you start noticing some of the constellations and your laughter slowly fades as your astonishment increases.

Colson throws his arm over your collarbones, his laughing had stopped with yours a few moments ago and a soft silence rested between the two of you.

“Y/N?” Colson questioned. You hum in response.

“I haven’t heard you call me that nickname in years what was it that caused the comeback” he was referring to when you called up to him a few minutes ago.

You rest your arm on top of his and lightly draw with your fingers onto his skin.

“I don’t really know, it was kind of just the first thing that came to my head. Why, does it bother you?”.

He softly says “No.” and you leave it at that.

Colson feels short of breath from the way you’re softly circling his inked skin, but he convinces himself it is from the running.

Colson knows deep down that isn’t the real answer but feels somewhat guilty because of yours and his history as friends and doesn’t want that dynamic between you two to change. But it is getting harder and harder to ignore the bursts of feelings he gets around you.

Your voice snaps him out of his debating thoughts “Thank you” you say, eyes still glued on the sky above you.

“For what?” Colson sits up on one of his elbows and you follow suit, pulling your hand off of his arm and into your own lap.

“Well besides being my best friend, Thank you for coming and getting me. I really didn’t want to be alone and you always make me feel safe no matter what.” you avoid Colson’s gaze for a moment but give in after a second looking back up at him.

His eyes were radiant even in the dark speckled sky and sometimes you would let yourself get lost in them but rarely had the chance because of conflicting emotions inside you.

“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you Y/N. Hell, I would even help you hide a body need be” Colson chuckled and you right with him.

A cool breeze came by and you shivered from the goosebumps forming on your skin, remembering you left your coat at the bar in the rush to get out of there, but at least your pockets were big enough to hold your important belongings.

Colson notices your lack of outerwear and asks “Where is your jacket? You must be cold.”

You know it is time to tell him what happened and you also knew how furious he was going to be.

“Y/N here” Colson takes off his hoodie and even though you try to protest you know you’re too cold to argue. Letting him slip the fabric over your head, the hoodie so oversized that you’re practically swimming in it. “Are you going to tell me what happened?” Colson asked his voiced teetering on the edge of being gentle but forward and to the point. He rests his hand on your shoulder hopefully bringing you some ease.

You look down at the grass and run your fingers through the long strands poking up from the earth.

It was a short story really but it was enough for Colson to understand “He grabbed me without my permission”.

You could see the fury boiling behind Colson’s eyes and in your way to diffuse the situation you tell him the aftermath “Then I broke his nose”.

This worked in the way you hoped it would Colson lunged at you and engulfed you in a hug saying with laughter bubbling in his words “That’s my girl”.

Much like Colson’s, your heart lunged in your chest at his words.

After releasing from the hug you pull the too-long sleeves up to your face to rub the soft fabric against your face; while doing so you get a smell of him in the fabric.

“What are you doing” Colson laughed lightly at your action.

Without thinking you blurt out “You smell nice”. You realize almost immediately realize what you said and try to cover your face that is filled with embarrassment.

Pulling your hands from your face with no words Colson holds your hands in his.

And in a moment of weakness, he lets himself stare at you totally ignoring the war he was having with himself just for a moment and tried his best to remember every detail of your face.

You weren’t sure what he was looking at so you pulled one of your hands away from him and touched your face trying to feel for something out of the ordinary.

“Is there something on my face” you lock eyes with Colson.

Resting your hand on your cheek he says “Uh yeah c’mere” his hand rests on top of yours rubbing the soft skin of your face. Without holding yourself back your eyes flicker to his lips, ‘so soft’ you thought to yourself. “Did you get it” you whisper not trusting your voice to come out clear and steady.

“Not quite” he whispered back, moving his hand from your cheek to your lips and softly brushes his thumb over your bottom lip.

“...there” Colson inched closer to your face agonizingly slow trying to give you plenty of time to back out if you wanted.

But that was the last thing you wanted to do, and you had no idea until now that this was something you wanted.

Here you were sitting in the grass not completely sure of your emotions at this moment but you knew that when he was touching you like this it was like electricity was bursting and flowing through every part of your body and that you didn’t want it to stop.

He was halfway to your lips in the space between you and kind of stuck there, so taking a leap of faith you lean into where your faces were only inches apart.

His breathing hitched in his throat not expecting you to be so...willing.

You rested your forehead against Colson’s before flushing all of the boundaries of friendship down the drain.

Hearing an obnoxious ring you and Colson simultaneously scoff, you’re the first one to pull away and the reality of everything that just happened to hit you all at once.

Moving away you create space between you and Colson lightheaded from the entire situation that had your head spinning with a whirlwind of thoughts.

Pulling your phone from your pocket you answer it so fast you forget to check the caller I.D.

Greeting the person on the other end you say “Hello” rather sharply.

“Y/N” the person said in a low voice and the back of your neck gets goosebumps because of the stark fear you feel from knowing who it is.

“What the fuck do you want David” you surprise yourself with how strong your voice comes out and the fact that you didn’t just hang up.

“Well fuck, you left your jacket behind and gee I figured being the nice guy I am I would return it to you, even though you broke my fucking nose. Which you’re paying for by the way”.

Now you were just fuming, the guy touches you inappropriately and you are supposed to pay for his rightfully broken nose, hell to the no.

You start yelling into the phone about how much of a douchebag he is but Colson carefully rips the phone from your hands and says in a serious but fear striking tone; “I don’t know who the fuck you think you are David…” Colson says his name mockingly.

“...But you will not speak or try to see Y/N ever again.”

“And who the fuck are you to tell me what to do. You should have seen the little broad tonight, a sexy girl ain’t she.” David said sickly.

Colson had him on speaker as he took the information about this guy from your phone to his own and you visibly shook yourself to try and shake the comment off.

“Stay the fuck away from her or else that broken nose will be the least of your worries. I am not forgiving or keen towards little boys who think they’re men and that gives them the right to touch a woman without her permission. Now I know I have made myself clear, keep the jacket you jackass.” and with that Colson hung the phone up.

You stare at him in awe at how he handled the situation and managed to make you feel safe and secure yet again.

Finishing up transferring the info to his phone when he hands you back your cell he scrolls on his phone and says “I blocked his number for you and all of his other info but if he gives you a problem you let me know okay.” he looks up at you for an answer and you nod still in shock from the control Colson has.

“And um… could you stay at the house for at least tonight and tomorrow, I wouldn’t put it past this guy to go to your apartment and I want you to be safe.” Colson says sheepishly.

You set your hand on his knee and give it a gentle squeeze saying “Of course I will, thank you”.

You also assume you both are ignoring the almost kiss that just happened minutes before, or what if that’s not even what he was trying to do in the first place, there must have actually been something on your face that’s why he was so close and holding your head in his hand that way. Pushing the feelings of doubt down you decide to make the atmosphere between the two of you back to normal as you could.

“Guys can be such asshole sometimes,” you admit.

Something about you saying this makes the anger bubble inside Colson.

The contrast between his tone a moment ago to now was alarming “The guys you like are assholes, that’s all” Colson says coldly.

You take his words to heart and snap back at him “What is your problem?”

“It’s just you have got this weird affinity for guys who treat you like shit, I don’t fucking understand it.”

His words hit you hard because he was pretty spot on and that is what hurts the most.

You looked him in the eyes and said with no emotion in your face or voice “You’re right”.

It is only then that Colson realizes his words and how much they hurt you, he was speaking off off pure jealousy and we all know that never ends well. He tries to choke out an apology but you turn away and say flatly “Let’s just go home.”

You start making the hike up the hill towards the bike without turning back, which made Colson’s heart come to a realization he should have known so much sooner.

It all made sense that his subconscious seemed to know it before he fully did. Sabotaging dates was so much more than them not being good for you, he just couldn’t stand seeing or knowing you were with someone else. That your heart had the capability of having room for someone else other than him.

Seeing you walk away from him made him realize just how much he loved you and how long he has as well. But even though he now knew how he felt there was still no way he had any clue that you felt the same exact way.

The ride home was silent between you and Colson. You didn’t squeeze onto him tighter when an unexpected turn or bump came by, or just because you felt like it.

When the two of you got home you muttered a soft thank you not bothering to stick around to see if he had heard it or not.

You went straight to his room and grabbed your pajamas from your spot in his closet then went to the spare bedroom and changed into the comfy clothes. You didn’t have any of your products there so you just washed your face with one of the guy’s face wash and hoped it would do the job. After finishing up you headed to the kitchen to find at the very least a small snack to fill the void in your stomach but instead found Rook in there making a wrap and then starting a second one.

“You want one?” he questioned and as if on cue your stomach growled audibly and you both laugh.

“I’ll take that as a yes” Rook chuckles.

You stay silent as Rook finishes wrapping the ingredients up into the tortilla then handing the plate to you like it is his greatest creation.

Waiting till you take a bite of the food Rook asks “ Are you and Kells alright, something seemed off when you two came in.” Rook said with concern lacing his voice.

“...We had a fight is all. Things between us are a bit complicated at the moment. He has a right to be upset about tonight though” You have a hard time finding the words but you tell him the truth nonetheless.

His eyes flicker up to yours sliding the wrap over towards you.

“You guys will be good though,” Rook says.

You nodded cause you know deep down he was right, but you were still upset and hurt by Colson’s words, and both parties both had the right to feel that way.

After finishing your wrap you were on your way to the spare room to hopefully sleep off the tiring day and the feelings that lingered. But of course, the guys had other plans, guiding you towards the pool table they sat you down in a chair. “Guys what is going on,” you ask genuinely confused.

“You’re going to tell us what happened,” Slim says with his arms crossed.

“Yeah um no.” trying to stand up but being sat back down on the seat, okay now you knew they weren’t playing around.

Rook and Baze started playing while listening closely.

“Okay, whatever” you say defeated.

You explained everything from the backhanded compliments and even the broken nose, which they laughed at just as Colson did but somehow it felt...different.

And then just as you expected all three of them wanted to find this guy and as the cliches, they’re said they wanted to “teach him a lesson”.

Letting them blow off some steam by going back and forth talking about and going into great detail of how they would make him fear for his life, you only mention after you assume they have gotten most of it out of their systems that Colson already took care of it and that you could handle yourself.

That seemed to calm them down enough because they knew it was handled and that you were tough enough most of the time to defend yourself when need be as well.

You stand up and start walking in the direction of the spare room but Rook catches your attention as you turn the corner.

“What’s going on?” You ask as his hand resting on your shoulder.

“Um, I just want you to know that if it were me instead of that guy tonight, I would have made it a great time.” You were shocked, to say the least, he was so forward which you weren’t expecting and you didn’t expect for him to basically insinuate that he would like to ask you out.

Your mouth must have been hanging open cause Rook continues and says “What I am saying is, will you go out with me sometime Y/N?”

Still confused but kind of curious you say something you had no idea would come out of your mouth either, you said yes.

Then that was that and he went back to playing pool and you went to the spare room. The only thing he had mentioned was it would be tomorrow night. But you honestly weren’t sure if you saw Rook that way I mean I guess you wouldn’t know until you tried but you were ninety-nine percent sure until a mere minutes ago that you and Rook’s relationship was purely platonic.

You get to the spare bedroom and fall onto the bed back first.

Staring at the ceiling you try to unravel and solve how so much happened that night and how ready you were to go to sleep.

Plugging in your phone for the rest of the night you tuck yourself in and pick a playlist to sleep to, falling out of consciousness.

Tap, Tap, Tap.

Rolling over to the nightstand you go to pause what you thought was the sound of your music but instead you hear the door creak open. Still half asleep you aren’t as worried as you should be about the figure standing in the door frame.

“Who’s there” Your words slur together in a mumbled voice.

“Jus- me” another tired voice groggily says.

It takes you a moment to figure out who ‘Me’ exactly is but once you do you ask just to confirm.

“Colson?” you roll around towards where he is standing on the opposite side of the bed.

“Yeah” is all he says still standing there.

You pull yourself even further from sleep when you ask “Why are you here” remembering that you’re still upset with him.

He doesn’t say anything for a while and you start to think he woke you up just to be mean but then he takes a sharp intake of breath and that’s when you know he is sorry before he even actually says it.

“I couldn’t sleep knowing you were mad at me…” he barely whispers.

“I forgive you,” You say knowing that was his best version of an apology.

“No, I’m sorry Y/N I had no right.” you were shocked yet again and his actual apology warmed your heart, like the spark that ignited the fire.

“Again I forgive you, Besides I don’t like it when we fight either.” You’re now sat upon the backs of your elbows.

Now Colson just stood there silent and it kind of freaked you out because when he was quiet no good could come from it.

“What’s wrong,” you ask softly and with a caring tone.

Even in the dark, you can feel Colson’s eyes bore into your figure.

“I just don’t want to be alone...maybe we could sit on the couch or..” Colson being vulnerable in front of you was a rare occurrence so you cut him off.

“Just get in here you dumbass” Your laughter assures him that it is okay.

Sliding under the covers next to you, your pulse quickens unexpectedly.

This wouldn’t be the first time you and Colson had shared a bed, but with these new feelings that you tried so desperately to ignore were growing and multiplying as fast as gremlins who were fed after midnight.

Even with the amount of extra space on the bed that Colson could be, he chose to be face to face with you. So close in fact that you can feel his breath tickle the peach fuzz on your face and now you were suddenly self-conscious about your breath fanning his face as well.

For the second time, tonight Colson’s forehead rests against yours and you internally convince yourself that whatever happens, you will not do a thing to stop it, cause just what if he felt even a sliver of how you did.

You close your eyes relaxing in the presence of your best friend.

Whispering again Colson’s breath wafted of mint and just a hint of weed lingering; “Can I hold you?”

You reply with an even quieter “yes” afraid that if your volume rose it would somehow ruin the entire atmosphere that shrouded the two of you at this moment.

“Being with you always helps me fall asleep” Colson’s arm outstretched giving you the time to curl into his chest.

You do exactly that, tucking the top of your head under his chin and letting your hands gently caress his bare chest that still even with the lack of clothing remained cozy.

Both of his arms wrap around your waistline, holding you just tight enough which made the safety he always made you feel just multiply.

Without even a second thought you wrap your legs with his own and neither of you complains in the slightest at the affection you both desperately needed from each other.

“You’re ridiculously comfortable” you mumble and Colson just barely giggles.

Even though this wasn’t the first time you and Colson have layed with each other, somehow he always had this way to make you feel protected and loved at all times and whether that was intentional or not you had no clue but appreciated it nonetheless; and it made you think back to the first time you and Colson cuddled and how no matter how many times you guys end up in this position how nervous you’re at first but then slowly calm like the wind from day to day.

Colson’s hand brushed up your spine and let out a soft chuckle as to not displace your frame on top of him. “Are you still wearing my hoodie?” he asked.

“Mhmm, it smells like you.” you prop your head up with your hand to try and look at him clearly in the dark.

Colson was at a loss for words, he rested his palm on your cheek as best as he could in the darkened room.

And to his surprise, you leaned into his touch causing a flurry of emotions to stir up inside of him.

Brushing his thumb against your skin he whispers softly making a confession just as you did;

“You always make my clothes look better on you.” you can’t help but blush at his words.

Sheepishly you say “My bad?” you joke with him.

“No, I mean I love it.” the softness of his voice, the way his hands are holding your face and waist like your something so precious, and his eyes are looking straight into your own.

It was like you could tell just by looking into his eyes there were no walls up between the two of you.

Reaching out your hand you touch the outline of Colson’s jaw as if it was the most natural thing in the world. You and Colson had never been ones to shy away from casual affection but this is different not quite sure how but its as if you both feel it.

You move your hand to trace the inked skin near his neck, it was such an intimate gesture but you continued anyway.

Colson’s hand was still against your face softly spinning circles with his thumb every once in a while.

You feel him take in a large breath different from the rhythm he previously was following.

Ripping your gaze from his chest you look him right in the eyes, the curtains let in just a tiny bit of moonlight but it was enough the see his eyes sparkle back towards you.

It took you at least a minute to remember what your words were, lost in his gaze it made your head spin and your heart drop down to the floor, and metaphorically you were struggling to pick it up and put it back into your chest.

Then you asked the question that deep down you were scared to hear the answer too but you stayed true to the promise you made to yourself once he held you against him minutes ago, or it could possibly be longer, time didn’t exist at the moment.

“What’s on your mind? Bringing your hand up to play with a piece of hair that hung in front of his eye.

Again he takes in a big breath and you feel him sit up slightly, misplacing you a bit from the comfortable position you were in.

Before he answers Colson adjusts your body on top of his again, your legs curled up on either side of his own as he withstood your body weight on top of him.

Sitting up a little as well you look at him with a worried expression which gives him the cue to just spill the truth that was running rampant in his head.

“We’re not just friends, right?” his hands never leave your waist as he says those words that could make it or break it for both of them.

You take a second the think of what you are going to say, and where you want this conversation to go.

But throwing all caution into the wind you know that this is one of those times where only the truth was the best answer.

“I don’t think so. Not anymore anyways.” you gulped at your words, leaving the next move up to Colson.

You see his eyes go wide in the unlit room and you don’t know how to take his expression.

Was he scared, angry, or surprised? Any of those emotions could fit right now and that worried you.

“Do you... Think we are more?” he says hesitantly absent-mindedly moving his hand up and down your back as a way to distract and soothe himself.

“That all depends on your next choice of words.” you weren’t bearing your entire soul out to him until he gave you the reassurance that you needed.

He just looked at you, like one of those looks that someone gives when they are trying to figure out what the other is thinking and or feeling.

One of Colson’s hands leaves their spot from your midsection and he pulls you closer to him from underneath your legs; before knitting his fingers into your hair smoothing the strands to calm himself.

He knew that the universe has somehow set this moment up, to give him probably the one and only chance to admit his feelings.

Softly gripping your face with his hands you give him your full attention.

“I love you…” he declares and you go to open your mouth to say something along the lines of ‘I knew that’ trying to convince yourself that he meant it like you guys always have but Colson cuts you off before you can even try,

Dipping his head down to catch your wandering and panicked gaze he says “And I don’t mean that in a brotherly way or any other possible way than me admitting that Y/N I am in love with you. So hopelessly in love with you. And even though it scares the hell out of me I know it is true.”

His gaze bore into you and without a second thought you admitted as well “I love you too Colson.”

Your voice was quiet and shaky but it was true and that’s all that mattered.

Eyes flickering to Colson’s lips, you lean towards him slowly without realizing it.

Colson’s hand moves to your back pressing you as close as he can while the other cups your face just underneath your jaw.

Colson felt every emotion at that moment; joy, fear, and exhilaration.

Your foreheads bump against each other and you both chuckle with embarrassment at the lack of coordination.

Resting there for a second forehead against forehead, practically tasting each other’s breath you are sure that the anticipation is gone and that you let yourself get your hopes up.

But Colson whispers and it almost makes you giggle because of his breath fanning on your skin.

“Y/N can I kiss you?” his thumb circles the apple of your cheek waiting for your permission.

And you answer him, just not with words.

Taking charge you pull Colsons face towards yours, trying so desperately to fill the gap between you both.

You let your entire body curve into him, your noses bumping in anticipation.

Softly you let your lips feather over his for a moment, but then your eyes flutter shut when Colson fully presses his lips onto yours, taking your actions as your answer.

His hands cupped your face as to not let you fall away or into pieces, which at this moment you were pretty sure was possible.

Every and all thoughts escaped your mind leaving everything blank inside of your head.

It wasn’t just that you were kissing Colson and the fact that he was kissing you right back; it was the way he held your face in his hands like you were something too special to let go of.

After a few seconds, you both have to break apart in order to breathe.

Foreheads resting on each other your lips don’t stray too far from one another so when you speak you are murmuring the words against his mouth.

Eyes still closed with your mouth agape, you feel the same as times in the past when you would drink on an empty stomach.

Lightheaded and wispy.

Speaking without filtering anything you say “Woah” as soft as can be; you weren’t sure if Colson had heard you but when he exhales with a breathy laugh you knew for sure that he did.

“Woah, is right” Colson replies rubbing the side of his nose to yours in an innocent gesture.

Then it felt like everything caved in on you at once, you had just kissed your best friend.

And even though you should be panicking about what all of this means you smile instead when Colson pulls you back in for another kiss, this time he tilts your head back deepening the action of the kiss.

Taken back a little you hum as a response to his actions.

Almost all doubt flew away from your mind when he pulled you back in because you knew he wanted this, he wanted you just as much as you have wanted him even if it wasn’t so long ago that your feelings for him blossomed.

After many hushed kisses and repetition of ‘I love you’s’, the two of you melt into the mattress and one another drifting off to sleep.

The next morning, well afternoon; you woke up tangled up in Colson content as can be.

Even though you knew you and Colson had to talk about all of this at some point, you were no longer worried about the drastic dynamic change between you both.

Colson’s arms were fully wrapped around your waist, his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck.

One of your hands that was stuck underneath his tall frame grazed his back, and not being able to resist the urge to touch him in the mid day glow peeking through the curtains your freehand brushes his unruly hair from his still shut eyes.

Arms tightening around your body, Colson groans; signaling to you that he is waking up.

Pecking him on the lips in hopes he will open his eyes he groans again.

“What?” you giggle when you speak for the first time that day.

Colson pulls one of his arms from around you and points to his lips “Another” he says his voice all raspy.

You go in to give him another quick peck but he uses his free hand to hold you there, giving you a real kiss that leaves you breathless.

When you break apart your eyes are now closed, not being able to come back down to earth.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” Colson tucks a messy thing of hair behind your ear.

Forcing your eyes open you look at Colson with this gleam in his own eyes.

“You really think so?” you question him for reassurance.

“Inside and out baby” he kisses your forehead.

Your cheeks flush at this new normal between you two, moving so you can rest your head on his chest.

Then you suddenly remember the yes you told a certain someone the night before.

“Ah, Shit” you curse.

Worried Colson questions quickly “What’s wrong?”

After last night there was no way you were going to lie to him, so you tell him the truth.

“I totally forgot I told Rook that I would go out with him tonight…” before you can even explain to him that you were going to tell Rook about what happened with you and Colson and hoped he understood;

Colson was ripping the covers off and barging to the door saying “I’m gonna kill him.”

Even though you knew he wasn’t going to actually kill him you ran after him to find him trying to corner Rook in the kitchen.

Rook had his hands up in surrender and was trying to explain himself, but you couldn’t hear him over the sound of Colson spewing profanities at Rook.

Coming up behind him you put your hand on Colson’s back and he calms instantly.

“Colson let him speak” you demand.

Letting his arms fall to his sides in defeat he gestures to Rook to speak.

“We knew you guys liked each other and as a push, I asked Y/N out to try and get at least one of you to spill your feelings beforehand. It wasn’t going to go any further than a ruse I swear.” Rook kept his arms up awaiting the worst.

Now a normal person would be angry at this, but no one in this house was normal so you and Colson busted up laughing leaving Rook standing there confused.

The rest of the group made their way into the kitchen sharing the same expression Rook did.

Walking up to Rook you laughed in between your words placing a hand on his shoulder“You guys tried to play us is it ?” you say with humor filling your voice.

“Wait I am so confused. What is so funny?” Rook says his eyes flickering between the two of you trying to connect the dots but failing to do so before you and Colson spill the beans.

You and Colson glance at each other and just smile.

“Y/N Bring your pretty little butt over here.” his arms are wide open and you oblige, speed walking back over to him. He pulls you into his embrace and spins you above the ground slightly.

Looking at the group Colson speaks saying “We have got it handled” rubbing his hands up and down your back.

The guys looked at each other finally understanding what has occurred.

“All I have to say is it is about fucking time.” Baze unleashes.

Everyone laughs together and you have this content feeling in your soul that even though you don’t know what the future holds for you and Colson; you do know that everything is going to be okay and you were happy with that. Reaching up on your tippy-toes you connect your kips with Colson’s with hopefully many more to come.

#machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly fanfiction #machine gun kelly fanfic #machine gun kelly imagine #machine gun kelly x reader #mgk #mgk fanfic #mgk imagine #mgk x reader #est19xx #19xx #colson baker #colson x reader #friends to lovers #writing #writer #imagine #imagines #fanfiction

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calpalirwin · 5 years ago

Text

Confessions

Summary: Anon request- I may have sent this request to you last week so if I did just ignore me. 🤦🏻‍♀️ So I NEED a one shot/fic where Luke’s twin sister just got out of a bad relationship and comes on tour with the boys. Luke is really protective over her and he finds out she’s been dating/sleeping with Ashton behind his back. Idk why I’ve had this story in my mind forever but I’m a horrible writer. 😂 Thanks!!

A/N: Thanks for the request! Gave the reveal some fluff because the idea of the brothers hating the boyfriend dating their sister always rubbed me the wrong way.

Content: Abuse, protective dynamics

Word Count: 3.3k

And away and away we go!

“Is there anybody you’d like us to call?” the nurse asked her.

Leia Hemmings shook her head. She couldn’t tell her family about this. Not that they wouldn’t rally behind her, but because despite all the pain Wyatt Miller had caused her, she didn’t want to return the favor. Wyatt could break her ribs, but he could never break her spirit which was to love with all she had.

“Do you have a safe place to go?” was the follow up question.

Leia nodded. “Yeah. I’m good.”

The nurse pushed a few pamphlets for domestic abuse services and women’s shelters into her hand anyway. “I’m going to sign your discharge papers, but feel free to stay in here as long as you need, okay?”

Leia let out a sigh of relief as the nurse left her. She was grateful that for all her stupidity, she had kept her apartment, not giving into Wyatt’s demands for her to move in with him. It had earned her three broken ribs and the worst bruising of her life, but she was steadfast that in all her bad decisions with Wyatt, that wasn’t one of them. That being said, she knew she couldn’t stay at her apartment. So with shaking fingers, she dialed her brother.

“Hey!” Luke greeted happily, picking up on the first ring.

“Hey,” she answered.

“What happened?” he asked, detecting the slight wobble in her voice.

“Wyatt and I broke up,” she whispered, offering up the simplest part of the truth.

“Oh, Leia” was the heartbroken response.

“It’s fine, Luke. I’m fine. It just… uh… gonna need to get a new place.”

“Shit,” he cursed. “What happened?” The question was repeated with a much sterner tone than the first time.

“It didn’t end well. It’s fine. Hey, I gotta go. But we’ll talk later to make plans for when you’re back out here, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course. Hang in there.”

“Who was that?” Ashton asked as Luke ended the call.

“Leia. Wyatt and her broke up.”

“Fuck. Is she okay?” He had always liked Leia, more so than the other siblings of his bandmates. It was something in the way she held herself in a manner that made her seem older but still clung to the childhood innocence that spoke to him right from the get go.

“I don’t think so.”

“How can I help?”

~~~

“I’m fine!” she huffed for the millionth time.

“No, you’re not. You’re coming with me. End of discussion.” Even through Facetime she could see the hard glint in his eyes. As the youngest boy, Luke had learned the mannerisms of getting his way. But Leia was the only girl, and the baby by five minutes. And she could be just as stubborn as he was, if not more.

“I’m fine at home with Mum and Dad.”

“Fine with sulking in bed you mean?”

“Oh, because sulking on a tour bus is so much better? C’mon, Lu-lu,” she pleaded, using a nickname only she had ever called him. “I’m just gonna bring everybody down. It’s better if I stay here.” At home with her parents, she could hide the bruises on her body better. At a week, the bruises only looked worse, making her more certain of her decision to hide it from her family. All they knew was that her and Wyatt had broken up and that she was looking for a new apartment to get a fresh start. And that was the way she wanted it.

“Le-le,” he used, using her nickname only he had ever called her in retaliation, his blue eyes pleading softly. “You’re not gonna bring anybody down. We want you with us.”

“Really?” she asked, trying to keep the hope out of her voice and remain skeptical. She didn’t get a lot of time with Luke these days, what with his band constantly traveling and him living on the other side of the globe. And she always got along with his bandmates, especially Ashton. But ten months of touring? It had been a long time since she had spent that large amount of time in such a confined space with her twin brother. Add three other fully grown men and a crew to the mix? Well, it would be a good way to ensure a certain you-know-who stayed far away from her mind.

He was still talking as her mind went through her thoughts. “So you’ll just meet us at the show and we’ll go from there. Le-le? Leia! Are you listening?”

Her long blonde curls shook with her head as she cleared her thoughts. “Sorry, what was that?”

Luke’s eyes rolled in feigned annoyance. “Our first leg starts in Sydney. So you don’t have to worry about traveling to us. You can just meet us at our first show and we’ll go from there.”

“Yeah, I just have to worry about my job… Not all of us can just pack up and leave, Lucas...”

“Hey!” was the hurt and offended retort. “You think that I don’t miss always being there for you like when we were kids? God, Leia, if I could be there all the time, don’t you think I would?”

“Alright, alright!” Leia huffed, feeling her eyes water at his sentiment. “It’s okay. We’re okay. I’m okay.”

“Well, I think the family can handle running Hemm Clothing without you for a while. And you can put those marketing skills to use by helping Andy and Ryan with merch?”

“Wow, way to sweeten the deal…” The eye roll was playful.

“So is that a yes? You’ll come?”

“See you in a few days, Lu-lu.”

~~~

“Fancy seeing you here,” a voice breathed and Leia’s body tensed.

“Get away from me,” came the barely audible reply through clenched teeth as her vision blurred with unwanted tears.

“Came to see big brother play?” was the sneer. “Think he’s gonna protect you from up there?” Wyatt’s head nodded towards the stage.

“I don’t need protection…” She threw as much malice and venom as she could muster behind the words but her shaky voice betrayed the fear that had seized her body.

The laugh was anything but humorous as it entered her ear.

“Go away. Please…”

“Aw, c’mon. Aren’t we having fun?”

“Hey, she said leave,” a voice barked and a tall figure strode toward the pair. Two shocks of pitch black hair framed the set of hazel eyes as Ashton’s large arms crossed in front of him as he tried to come across as menacing as possible. Leia felt herself relax at the sight of him alone. “Now leave, or I’ll gladly call security to throw you out,” Ashton used his slight height advantage to tower over Wyatt. “On second thought, I think I’ll just throw you out myself. Save security the trip.”

Wyatt, smart enough not to start a fight in public, muttered under his breath about how this wasn’t over and slunk off.

Ashton’s demeanor dropped the tough guy act and his hand was soft as it rested on Leia’s shoulder. His voice was equally soft as it asked, “Hey, you alright?”

Leia looked up at him and shook her head before letting out a blubbering wail.

Ashton’s eyes went wide before he was wrapping the younger woman in a tight hug. “Hey, it’s okay. Shh. He’s gone. I got ya.”

She froze, her body tensing immediately, and when her face involuntarily flinched, Ashton dropped his hold, a wave of disgusted horror washing over him. When Leia had called Luke up to tell him about her breakup with Wyatt, she had severely downplayed the damage he had inflicted if she was jumping away from a touch she knew she could trust. His heart shattered in his chest for her and he knew he had to keep this from Luke the same way she had. The look of pity in his eyes as she turned to look at him made her throat close up. “Please don’t tell, Luke,” was the pleaded request of a woman who was barely holding it together.

“Hey, look at me,” he implored and blurry blue met steady gold. “I’m going to get security to make sure he stays far away from you. He’s never getting near you again. I promise.”

“Ash, you can’t promise that. Eventually I have to come home. And he’ll be waiting. And the longer he was to wait, the angrier he’s going to get. And the angrier he gets…”

“I wouldn’t promise it if I didn’t think I could keep it. I’ll figure something out.”

“Promise me you won’t tell Luke.”

“I won’t,” he said, holding up his pinky. “But why didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell him the truth?”

“Because it makes me feel weak? Because I feel like I should’ve known better? That I should’ve fought harder? Take your pick…”

“None of this is your fault and you’re stronger than you think.”

She gave a sad shake of her head. “I shouldn’t be here. I should just go home. I’m just gonna bring everybody down. Tell Lu- Tell Luke I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I can’t be here.” The words fell from her mouth and she stumbled backwards away from Ashton, tears streaming down her face.

“Whoa, easy there,” Ashton said, keeping his voice calm and low. “We want you here.”

“You guys really want me here?” she asked skeptically.

Ashton nodded. “We really do. I do. C’mon, give this a chance. Please stay. Please?”

How could she say no to that dimple and those soft eyes?

~~~

“Let’s play a game of spot the goth,” Calum laughed at the camera before Ryan was moving the shoot upwards to Ashton and Leia, hiding in the shade.

The duo waved and shared a laugh. “You sure you don’t wanna go for a swim?” Ashton asked her. “Awfully hot out.” He was still in a pair black jeans with rips in the knees, but his shirt had been discarded long ago, while she stayed clad in her shirt and shorts.

She shook her head. Her sides still ached terribly when she laughed, but she could finally withstand a hug without having to excuse herself to cry out in pain after. The bruises, while no longer a horrendous shade of blues and purples, were a sickly faded yellow. No. She would much rather hide out with Ashton.

Ashton sighed. While she hadn’t actually confessed the truth of what Wyatt had done to her, Ashton was highly certain his speculations about what had happened were closer to the truth than what she had been telling Luke. “He hit you didn’t he? That’s why you’re hiding up here with me, isn’t it? To hide the bruises?” His voice held only concern, not even the slightest trace of judgement, which somehow made it worse. She didn’t deserve sympathy.

“He broke three of my ribs,” she confided anyway.

Ashton’s jaw tightened and he swore under his breath. “When?”

“The day I called Luke. So about two weeks ago.”

“Any other times?”

“No,” she shook her head. “That was the only time. I swear.”

As much as he wanted to, he wasn’t stupid enough to ask why. It didn’t matter. Wyatt shouldn’t have laid a hand on her, period. “Is that why you left your apartment?” he asked instead.

She nodded. “I’m scared of him, Ash. I don’t know what’s going to happen when this is over, and I have to come home. I can’t live with Mum and Dad forever. If I let him scare me from living my life then he wins. He already took so much from me. I can’t let him take what little I have left.”

“Come to LA with us,” he suggested.

She started to laugh but winced. “Ow! Don’t make me laugh!”

“I’m serious.”

“What would I do in LA? Live with you? Keep helping run merch for your band?”

“Well, you could get your own place if that would make you more comfortable.”

“Ow!” she chuckled, clinging to her sides. “It hurts to laugh! Stop!”

“I’m serious!” he repeated, not being able to help his own giggle. Even her pained chuckle was infectious.

She leaned her head into his shoulder, sighing in the daydream coursing through her head. Would living with Ashton really be all that horrible? She was as close to him as she was to her own twin; closer even now that they had this secret between them. It could be just like this, him making her laugh her worries away. “Mum will never forgive you for taking both of her babies to LA, you know that don’t you?”

“Hey, Luke took me to LA.”

She shook her head against him with a soft chuckle. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

“And I’ll help you pack when you realize I’m serious.”

~~~

She woke up in a cold sweat, eyes wild, hair even wilder. Her hand felt her heart racing underneath her fingertips as she kicked off the covers. The bruises had faded, her ribs had healed, but Wyatt still haunted her dreams nearly three months later. She rolled on her side to check the time on her phone: 2:17 am.

They hadn’t played a show as they were traveling to a new venue so everyone was catching up on much needed sleep.

She tried to tame her curls by pulling them into a messy ponytail before she shoved her curtain aside and crawled out of her bunk.

“Oh, hey,” a smooth but raspy voice called out to her as she pulled the fridge open to grab a water. “Couldn’t sleep either?”

She whirled around, spotting Ashton on the couch, plucking softly at a guitar. “Something like that…” she muttered, kicking the fridge closed and moving to sit beside him.

“Nightmare?” he asked, setting the guitar aside to wrap an arm around her shoulders.

“How’d you know?”

“I can hear you at night. Everyone here can sleep like the dead. Everyone but me. Always been a light sleeper.”

“Did I wake you up?” she asked, worried.

He shook his head. “Nah. I haven’t gone to sleep yet.”

“What were you playing?”

“Nothing really. Just messing around. Any requests?”

She brought a finger to her lips in thought. “Hmm… Safety Pin?”

He chuckled lightly as he reached for the guitar again and they both shifted around on the couch. He strummed quietly and sang even quieter through the song, her voice humming softly along. “You should try and get some sleep,” he told her as he set the guitar aside again. “Luke may think he’s hiding it, but he’s worried about you. We all are.”

She leaned her head back, staring up at the ceiling. “That’s not what I wanted. I never wanted anyone to worry about me.”

“Sweetheart, we’re always gonna worry about you. We love you.” And that was as close to revealing himself to her as he was going to get for now, but he placed his lips briefly to her forehead anyway.

“Ash,” she breathed, peering up at him. The tenderness was too much to bear. The ache for someone to show her that type of soft affection left her desperate and needy. “Please don’t do that…”

“Do what? Care for you?”

“Kiss me.”

“It was just a forehead kiss,” he defended, feeling guilty he had crossed the line.

“I know. And it’s going to make me want more.”

“And what if I want to give you more?” he pressed, her words assuring him of long buried feelings.

“Ash… I’m heartbroken over a boy who doesn’t deserve my tears. You’re my brother’s bandmate. We shouldn’t do this,” she said, drawing the line in the sand.

“Alright,” he relented. “But for the record, I’ve…” he paused to find the right words. “Have you ever looked at someone and just known deep down that there’s something there?”

She nodded.

“I feel that when I look at you. And I’m still going to feel that when I look at you tomorrow; the same way I’ve felt it every time I’ve looked at you.”

“Ash,” she started, but he cut her off by pressing a finger to her lips.

“Shh, it’s fine. I won’t cross that line. But I couldn’t keep that inside anymore, either. G’night, sweetheart.” He pushed himself up off the couch, heading for his bunk, but her hand reached out to wrap around his forearm. “Need something?” he asked.

“You,” was the mouthed reply and his lips were crushing down on hers, pulling out the ache she had been drowning under.

~~~

The set of light blue eyes bounced back and forth between the laughing duo as Leia tried her best to mimic Ashton’s yoga poses. “This is impossible!” Leia’s laugh rang out as she struggled to keep her balance.

“What are you talking about?” Ashton laughed with her, his hand shooting out to help keep her steady. “You’re doing great. I gotcha.”

“Whatcha guys up to?” Luke spoke up, eyebrows raised as he leaned against the wall.

Leia let out a yelp of surprise and wobbled, taking Ashton with her as they crashed to the ground, erupting in more giggles. “Lu-lu, you scared me!” Leia scolded her brother lightly as Ashton helped her to her feet.

“Mmm,” Luke nodded, pursing his lips in thought. “So, you gonna tell me? Or are you going to keep lying to me like you lied about Wyatt?”

“What are you talking about?” Leia asked, narrowing her eyes. She and Ashton had taken every precaution to keep their growing relationship as hidden as possible. The plan was to tell everyone when the tour was over, along with announcing that she’d be moving into his place in LA. Wyatt, however, was the secret she had wanted to take to her grave.

“Mum and Dad got the hospital bill, dumbass. They called me wondering if I knew anything about three broken ribs because you tell me everything. Imagine my shock when I was just as in the dark as they were.”

“Luke I-” she started.

“Why’d you lie?” he cut her off.

“I was embarrassed!” she screamed, throwing up her hands. “It’s embarrassing, Luke! I got beat up by a guy who swore he loved me! Who had us all fooled that he was a good guy! Do you know how embarrassing it is to have been that bad of a judge of character?!”

“You’re not a bad judge of character, Leia. Like you said, he had us all fooled. And you’re with Ash, aren’t you? Yeah, definitely not a bad judge of character. Not by a long shot.”

“Wait… you’re not mad?”

“No! Well… yes. But only because you lied.”

“We were gonna tell you, mate,” Ashton jumped in. “We were going to tell everyone after the tour wrapped up.”

“I’m not talking to you!” Luke snapped.

“Luke, you just said you weren’t mad about this,” Ashton said, his jaw setting.

“You lied to me! I’m your friend, Ashton! Damn near your brother!” His fiery gaze flickered over to Leia, “And I’m your actual brother!” His words held no malice, only a deep hurt that two people he cared deeply for thought that they had to keep their relationship a secret from him.

“Lu-lu, we were going to tell you. We just…”

“How long?”

“Six months,” Ashton answered. “And if we’re clearing the air, then you should know that when we get home next month, she’s moving into my place.”

Luke nodded. “Okay then. Break her heart, and it’ll be you who ends up with your ribs broken.”

“Lucas Robert!” Leia scolded, punching her brother’s arm.

“Too soon?” Luke laughed.

“Way too soon,” Leia laughed with him. “So, you’re really not mad?”

Luke shook his head. “I only ever wanted you to be happy, Le-le. You’re my twin. I’m always on your side.” He wrapped her in a tight hug.

“We’re sorry, mate,” Ashton apologized, placing his hand on Luke’s shoulder and a kiss on Leia’s hairline.

Luke fake gagged, stepping away. “I’m not that happy for you! That’s still my baby sister you’re kissing.”

“Well, I love her, so you better get used to it.”

“You fuckin’ better,” the siblings responded in unison.

“So fuckin’ much.”

Tag List

@goeatsomelife @flameraine @cashtonasff5sos @here-for-the-uproars @cxddlyash @1-irwin-94 @baldcalum @sparkling-chaos @tea4sykes @youngblood199456 @5-seconds-of-obsession @gosh-im-short @aquarius-hood1996 @talkfastromance4

#confessions #ashton irwin #luke hemming #ashton irwin fic #luke hemmings fic #5sos #galcal irwin

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