#Force Mandated Bottle Episode

[rose-red-ink]

I'm writing Star Wars fic

Hey, did you forget how this is a writblr? That's ok, me too.

I'm writing a Star Wars fanfic that rewrites the sequel trilogy.

All of the main squad has arcs now, Reylo is here (though not the entire fic or it's main purpose) and their dyad is something explored and expanded on, Kylo and Rey have fleshed out arcs, Poe and Finn uh...HAVE arcs now instead of scattered plot points. Snoke is a character instead of a cardboard cutout with evil stapled on his forehead. I rewrote some backstories, it's a fic that starts as a bottle episode and turns into a road trip through space.

Here's the plot summary, I really hope you guys enjoy it because I am having a blast writing it.

When Finn and Poe escape from the First Order ship, Kylo Ren takes off after them. When both ships are damaged, they crash on Jakku, right into the Star Destroyer that Rey is scavenging from. Finn is longing for freedom while unable to escape the thoughts of those he left behind. Poe is determined to be the most annoying hostage possible to his old surrogate brother. Kylo is trying to survive Poe while being plagued with curiosity; who is the woman he keeps hearing at the edges of his mind? And new powers are awakening in Rey, powers that seem to be the source of the visions of a strange man in black, exploring the same wreckage, just out of her reach. Choices will be made, loyalties tested, and bonds forged. Where will they go when they emerge from the wreckage?

(Feel free to send me asks about it here, I am always down to talk about this fic)

[rose-red-ink]

Absolutely they did 🤣

And the Knights of Ren as a whole

They're doing their jobs, doing the 9 to 5 evil, then some RANDOM kid in their 20s shows up, broods in the corner, says smth about the power of the darkside, and THEY get all the credit bc helped kill Resistance members for a couple hours. SMH.

Hux: "They'll never find your body" is such a boring threat. I think a better threat would be, "they'll never stop finding your body." Phasma: "They'll be finding pieces of your body for at least four months, and you'll still be alive for three of them." Hux: Now that's threatening.

[animebw]

Man, what a shitty way to end the season.

Well, that's Superstar Season 2 finished. And for whatever reason, the thought I keep coming back to is this one line from Bojack Horseman where he calls himself "A xerox of a xerox of a xerox." When something is copied over and over again, each new copy gets a little duller, a little vaguer, a little less certain of what it used to be in the first place. Love Live has been going on for over a decade now, with new installments almost every year. It is no longer the firework bursting spectacularly in open air; it's the leftover ash from that fireworks as it descends of the sky, still vainly trying to shine just as brightly as before.

And it feels tired.

For all the wonderful energy of Superstar, all the gorgeous art direction and animation and direction, it feels so, so tired.

There are absolutely things I like about this season. Even things I love. Keke and Sumire's episode alone prevents me from calling this a bad season of Love Live. Not to mention how wonderful Shiki and Mei are. But every new iteration of this series feels like more and more of its magic is draining away. School Idol Project was nothing short of a miracle, a lightning-in-a-bottle conflagration of optimistic euphoria that made me believe in the power of idols like nothing had ever done before. But Sunshine struggled all throughout its run to match up to that miracle, and it only really managed to do so when its movie finale came around. Nijigasaki swung for the fences to try something fresh and interesting, but all it resulted in was a crushingly hollow disaster. And even with Superstar bringing back SIP's director, Jukki Hanada in the writer's chair, it only ever feels like it's playing the hits without justifying its own existence. It has no idea how to make this new self, this new chance, a worthy contender to stand on the same stage as its ancestors. And if even the best creative team to ever work on Love Live can't figure out how to keep Love Live from stagnating... then what hope is there for anyone else?

Truthfully, part of me wonders if Hanada is just tired of it all. He's been writing original scripts for this franchise for over a decade, and even with someone else handling Nijigasaki, there are still very few gaps between the entries he has a hand in. That's a long time to write the same kind of story, trapped in the same kind of formula, no doubt with countless corporate mandates to prioritize lest he "tarnish" the pristine image of idols with anything too dangerous or exciting. As much as I love Hanada's work, I can't help but think that sounds like the most soul-crushing cycle to be stuck in. And if you think that's just me projecting, well... do you remember that other original music anime Hanada just came out with? The one that's all about angst and punk spirit and shouting in defiance of society's norms? A series that, in contrast to Superstar, feels truly electric and explosive and bursting with the undeniable spirit of something born of passion too powerful to contain? Where one of the co-protagonists' backstory is her old band was forced to rebrand with specifically idol aesthetics to stay marketable in a world with little place for the scrappy, raw, unapologetic honesty of the rock music they started out with?

Yeah, suffice to say, I wouldn't be surprised if Hanada saved all his best ideas and creative passion for the start of something new and special instead of spending it all on his third rodeo at a steady paycheck.

So where does Superstar go from here? I honestly don't know. We've got a third season coming up just this October- a first for this franchise- so there's no telling what to expect. Personally, I hope it leans fully into that cartoon-world magical-girl energy I talked about before; the more it can stake its own identity, the better chance it will have to justify itself when all is said and done. But more than anything, I wonder how long it will be before Love Live just... stops being special entirely. Until the magic is truly all used up and the horrific emptiness of Nijigasaki becomes the rule rather than the exception. Until this series that truly made me believe in something starts to leave me feeling just as hollow about idols as I was before I picked it up.

And that is far too tragic a fate for me to accept.

The first Love Live was special. It will always be special. And I think Sunshine was, eventually, able to earn its place by SIP's side. But Muse themselves knew that sometimes, the only way to be special is to put everything you have into a single beautiful moment and leave everything else behind when you're done. I'll still watch Superstar season 3, and hopefully it's good, but after that? It might be time for me to leave this franchise behind. The memories of this series at its best will always matter more then endless failed attempts to measure up to that high bar. Cherish the magic we've made, and don't let time and exhaustion steal that away from you.

To those who found me through my Love Live posting, thank you for being here. I hope you enjoyed my thoughts, positive and negative alike, and I hope you stick around as my journey through anime's history continues. I will always celebrate Love Live for what its best efforts mean to me; whatever the future holds, that will never change. I can only hope whatever comes next for these creators will be just as singular and special. But Superstar season 2, for all its charms, is getting no higher score than 5.5/10 from me. The dream is coming to an end soon; and I, for one, am ready to wake up and see what new sights await in the light of day.

Speaking of, I think I have another poll to make...

[gildedmuse]

Hey, everyone.

So recently I've (predictably) very not well. Actually, whenever I don't post for long periods, just assume my body is trying to kill me. But I've gotten messages from three people asking if I. Okay, which is super sweet. I am actually trying to work on the next All Hearts, a really long ZoLaw post and two request fics, but mixing chronic kidney pain and capitalist society's mandate to work 40+ hours is not recommended.

But to prove I'm okay and still me, here is some Shanks antics with him being a total slut while Mihawk and Beckman just roll their eyes and go along with it. [Shout out to @jhaernyl who not only listens to me ramble about this stuff, but actively encourages it]. I also have many thoughts on the latest episodes and so many screenshots it's embarrassing. Hopefully, when I'm in less pain, I'll get around to actually posting those. Otherwise I just look like an insane person who literally takes by the second frame shots every time Zoro is on screen.

.... What is that? I look like that anyway? Fair.

Shanks Is A Bad Influence

It feels like Buggy and Shanks split up after Roger's death (the crew was told to, and they are the only ones who went to his execution) and I find it impossible to think Shanks didn't immediately set out and find a crew; like, pirating is the only thing this kid knows in life. This means two things:

He set out from East Blue. Also, he seemed at ease and familiar with the East so it's possible he spent like a year there getting everything together. Maybe he even played around in the other blues for a while before heading back to the Grand Line. I say this because his crew is from all over so either he found and recruited them in the Grand Line or visited various blues. Either way, I'm gonna say it took him about two years before getting a 'proper' start. In that case, he would have started out properly at the age of 17 and we know One Piece likes it's parallels.

That still puts Shanks at 17 to Benn Beckmen's 28. How the fuck did Shanks manage that? I'd call it grave robbing, but let's face it, the little tyke probably got up to some actual robbing of graves as well.

My point being everytime Shanks teases Mihawk about keeping this 19 year old kid on his personal island, mostly shirtless, Benn Beckmen just lifts an eyebrow.

Excuse me, captain, who had prefected the 'opps still don't have my sea legs' trip-and-fall into their first mates lap by the age of 17?

Shanks: Beckmen, you caught me! *Shamelessly nuzzles up* Thank goodness! I could be a devil's fruit user after all and - Ahh!

Benn: *Drops Shanks straight over the side of the ship into the water*

Shanks: *Sputtering* What what that!?

Benn: Checking to see if you had eaten a devil's fruit on us, Capatin.

Benn: You didn't.

Smart ass. But he can't resist Shanks forever. Shanks will wear him down eventually.

Next time Mihawk tracks him down for another match - because you know he gets bored way quicker than he'll ever admit and Shanks is at least amusing a challenge - Shanks makes a big deal out of how Mihawk follows him around, "accidentally" revealing they slept together, sighing about how it's so hard to resist him.

Benn Beckmen is just leaning against the side of the ship, sipping his booze.

Shanks: -and I can't stay for hours like last time!!

Mihawk: Are you quite done?

Shanks: *whispering* Does Benn look jealous?

Mihawk: He looks bored. Much like I am. Is this some strange attempt to get out of my challenge, Akagami?

Shanks: What? No, come on I told you I was game. But, hey, could you do me a favor? Maybe like try and kiss me or something? Like take a swing like your going to hit me but then stop shot and grab me by the waist instead.

Mihawk: .... Trickery is beneath you. Besides, you're absolute rubbish at it.

Shanks: Oh, come on, I would totally help you get laid if you asked!

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* I want a proper match afterwards.

Mihawk: *In a forced, monotone voice* After this I will take you to my lair and have my way with you, Akagami.

Mihawk: ... My lair? Really?

Shanks: *Holding up cue card with quickly scribbled line* What? That is how you talk.

Mihawk: I can't believe I wasted precious hours of light tracking you to this atrociously rural port.

Shanks: See? Now, read the next one.

Benn: Captain? If this is going to take all night, I am going to go join the rest of the men in the tavern.

Shanks: Huh? Wait! Benn! What if Miha really stabs me this time!?

Benn: *Salutes Shanks with his bottle* Sounds like that is his plan captain. Have a good 'challenge'.

Shanks: What? No... *Reaching out hand, like he might die if Benn leaves, looking completely devastated* Not even a little jealous...

Mihawk: You couldn't have thought that pantomime would actually work.

Shanks: Benny, don't leave me.... *Turns to Mihawk, immediately brightening* Oh, well, there's always tomorrow. Hey, Miha, guess whose free all night and horny as a pirate in the calm belt?

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* Very well.

Mihawk might as well get something for the trip he made. Although, he's reconsidering if the sex was actually worth the trouble after he ends up listening to Shanks worry half the night that Benn is shacking up with someone else (after a couple hours of rough and raw fucking, admittedly).

Is it the hat? He likes his captain's hat. Miha, you think his captain's hat is sexy, don't you?

Mihawk: It's utterly ridiculous.

Shanks: ....

Shanks: ....

Shanks: *Smile* Ahh, Miha, I knew you liked the hat!

Shanks: What do you old Northerns find sexy?

Mihawk: I am only four years older than you.

Mihawk: And silence.

Trying to convince Mihawk to go spy on Beckman for him. Shanks doesn't actually care if he does sleep with someone else, it's more that Beckman didn't immediately turn angry and jealous like Buggy would have that has him paranoid.

Mihawk is going to fuck this annoying red head again just to shut him up.

Mihawk: Maybe he doesn't like red haired boys who don't know when to be quiet?

The next morning Shanks is pacing among his poor crew that's gotten stuck listening to Shanks obsess about Beckman again. IS IT REALLY THE HAIR!?

It's not even a matter of Shanks's age (or obvious immaturity). I mean, Beckman got on board and stayed, didn't he? Beckman just enjoys watching Shanks try so hard to get his attention. Like Benn's attention isn't constantly on Shanks. He had to when his captain is always one step away from disaster.

He only left him with Mihawk because it was clear Dracule is not a real danger to Beckman's captain.

Except maybe insulting him to death. But Beckman is pretty sure Shanks can handle it. He's met Buggy. He's suspects Shanks LIKES it if anything.

It gets to the point where when they dock somewhere and see Mihawk waiting, or come back to the ship and spot his familiar silhouette, most of the crew goes off somewhere for another drink (sometimes the newer kids will stay to watch such an awesome fight, everyone else is like... Look, you'll have plenty of opportunities later. This is not a one off.)

Benn just takes a look around, nods to Mihawk (a silent signal for, "he's all yours, do with him as you please, if anything happens to him I will track you down and make sure your last few hours on this blue world are as painful as humanly possible") and heads off.

Oh, it's just the Hawk boy.

That's fine then.

Benn use to be a sailor on a trade ship between the North, East, West and Grand Line. He's seen it all.

They called him The Gun Slinger BEFORE he joined Shanks's crew and became a pirate.

So this young, broke ass kid from the streets of some near artic northern island trying to pass himself off as a Lower North rich type has a thing for his captain? Not really enough to keep Beckman up at night, no matter how good at swords he's supposed to be

Besides, he's pretty sure for the kid to keep tracking down Shanks, he must be bored out of his skull. He's not going to do anything to endanger their captain.

Not if Shanks is the only thing he can find to keep him entertained.

One day, Mihawk is going to be waiting on the dock when a bunch of Red Haired pirates are stumbling home, laughing and chattering amongst themselves (Shanks's crew always seems to be in a good mood). One of them will catch sight if Mihawk and walk by with a smile, patting him on the shoulder.

The captain's occupied. Seems likely he'll be 'occupied' for a good while, too.

Mihawk won't smile, but he will think "So you finally warmed him up to you, Akagami?" and snort lightly.

Poor Benn, though. Mihawk could never imagine being with someone so much younger than him. Shanks is only four years his junior and already it strains Mihawk to put up with his occasional moments of "youthful whimsy" (aka being an annoying, immature child)

"A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair"

Mihawk just putting that on his Not To Do List.

That lasted until Roronoa.

(Mihawk just looking at Zoro knowing this is bad news.)

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

*Cross out, scribbles*

*Hands back to Benn*

Do Not Do:

- A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair a silly hat, who is overly dramatic and in any way, shape or form related to Gol D Rogers.

Ace: Hey what's up?

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

Go ahead, Benn, laugh it up. Mihawk is aware he has a type. Young, pretty, and utterly insane.

After that night where Shanks was otherwise 'occupied', it's over six months before Mihawk sees his friend his rival again. He is, as expected, far too smug and proud looking.

Shanks: Oh, Miha, so sorry you came all this way, I'm-

Benn: Well, I'm off, captain.

Shanks: What!? But we, you, I... Benn, hessoeexyarentyouworriedforyourcaptain?

Benn: *patting Mihawk on the shoulder* Have fun with him. Don't forget to return him by noon tomorrow, we have a schedule. Oh, but if you can babysit him for at least four hours? That would be great.

Shanks: BABYSIT!?

Mihawk: I suppose I can be troubled to do so.

Shanks: TROUBLED!?

Benn: Thanks, Hawkeyes. I owe you.

Shanks: *Fake tears clinging to his lashes* You two are so mean!

No, don't feel bad for him. Shanks is just trying to guilt the two of them into bed at the same time, and they both know it.

Thanks no thanks, they're not into that. But Shanks can be pretty cute when he's trying so hard (Benn) and at least he's not as boring as everything else in this world (Mihawk) so they allow him to keep up the act

Shanks: *looking at Zoro's wanted poster over Mihawk's shoulder* But I feel like you'd gladly go to bed with him and his captain if he asked. That doesn't seem fair to me. You'd never go that far with me and Benn.

Mihawk: *Eyes Benn*

Mihawk: *DEAD. ONLY.*

Mihawk: I have my reasons.

They can and do agree on plenty of things, including reciprocally not being that attracted to each other.

Shanks: Sounds fake to me

Shanks: But guys!

Shanks: This isn't about you

He's gonna need you guys to drop the egos and focus on what HE wants. I.E., being in the middle of two sexy Northern men.

Honestly, so mean to poor Shanks!

[nancysgillians]

I'm so invested in this AU that I'm coming of anon to continue asking! So, one of the big things with Grey's anatomy is always the mid-season/end of season catastrophe, right? What are some of the big ones you can see happening in Glee's Anatomy?

oh dang the mid season and end season and sometimes even first episode ill never forgive the show for george catastrophes are the most memorable and traumatic things on grey’s. this is glee characters so these won’t be too heavy as i personally can’t put them through too much trauma. it is a fine balance of hijinks, comedy, and drama on glee’s anatomy.  

there is much triggering content so i put it under a cut and will tag it with anything people need!  for more info about this au check here and here.

some of the things i imagine would happen in glee’s anatomy; 

- burt has a heart attack kurt’s fourth year as a surgical resident and mike handles the case. kurt trusts mike but rachel believes she could do better and kurt has to remind her that if she had the chance to marry finn it would make burt family and you can’t operate on family and rachel is kurt’s family. its a wonderful hummelberry moment. kitty is the intern who assists and that’s when kurt recognizes kitty’s talent for cardio. there’s a freak storm that has the ER swamped and causes the power to go out temporarily during burt’s surgery. santana forces kurt to the ER to support incoming traumas and keep him from hovering. burt recovers and there are no complications. 

- they’ve all finished residency and are thriving in their fields. tina is in a car accident on the way back from an organ recovery surgery. everything seems fine when they are brought to the hospital but kurt ends up discovering that tina has a brain tumor. mike shuts down and quinn can’t operate on her fiance (yes i slipped in poly quinntike) so kurt has to operate. quinn and mike are banned by tina from interfering and since the tumor is not impeding her abilities, decision making, etc. there is no reason for her lovers to take over making medical decisions. quinn and kurt get into a heated argument mercedes is caught between that almost causes quinn to lose her job when marley talks to the chief of surgery about what is going on. tinas surgery goes well and quinn and kurt reconcile but quinn asks for a sabbatical to take care of tinas recovery and ends up starting research on an award winning neuro technique. 

- early on in their surgical residencies, santana struggles with following the rules when she thinks there are morally right ways to handle a case. santana and brittany are on a peds case where santana suspects that the father is abusing the child. they gather a ton of evidence and call family services. brittany covers for her after surgery when santana tries to keep the father from finding the kid until family services can intervene but santana gets cornered by the uncle who she believes is sympathetic and would take care of the kid. it turns out it was the uncle who was harming the child and santana has to set off the fire alarms and evacuate the building to get away from the uncle. santana receives several third degree burns and a broken arm from the physical altercation with the uncle but the kid remains unharmed. santana is treated primarily by mercedes. this is the case that makes brittany focus on being an OBGYN rather than a peds surgeon while santana buckles down on the rush of adrenaline caused from crisis situations. she’s working on controlling her impulses with the hospital ordered therapist. 

- finns death happened in the hosptial. this is the worst catastrophe and it impacts them all. this happens when they are in their third year as surgical residents. blaine is actually the last friend to see finn alive and their conversation was an argument about how to treat a patient. though it ended with them confirming weekend plans to hang out with kurt, puck, artie, mike, and sam, blaine will always remember that finn told blaine he sometimes takes too many risks in surgery when a more conservative approach will also save them. a shooter lockdown is called at the hospital and everyone is at work but no one can reach or find finn. finn is hidden in a nurses lounge with the nurse the shooter is looking for. finn takes a bullet for the nurse right before they are found. the nurse does her best but finn did not have much time left and he leaves her with some final words to pass onto his friends and family. this incident is hugely traumatic and pretty much impacts the whole hospital staff - the nurse quits, most of them are mandated therapy following the trauma and kurt and rachel take a whole month off for bereavement.  

- blaine’s grief following finn’s death is held tightly bottled. blaine tries to be strong for kurt who is in turn hiding his grief from blaine. blaine is also taking on a lot of finn’s cases and questions himself daily on what the best course of action is while seriously struggling with his mental health. enter a 14 year old who is gay bashed by school bullies that blaine, puck, and santana have to treat. during surgery puck is candid about being a bully and so is santana and they regret the times they would taunt kids about being different. blaine, who is already feeling this case is too personal, starts to spiral and confides in his colleagues that he was gay bashed at the same age and it caused him to become a surgeon. he vents his frustration about what happened and how it changed him. the kid pulls through and blaine breaks down post-surgery. blaine texts kurt to head home without him and blaine heads to the local bar. matt the bartender ends up calling kurt to come pick up blaine hours later when he passes out at the bar. blaine starts to lash out at colleagues at work, he spends a lot of time at the bar, and kurt and blaine have trouble communicating and they consider taking a break (they are currently engaged at this point). there's a turning point in one of their arguments when blaine makes a comment about him taking too many risks and how even finn thought so. kurt figures out that blaine needs to talk to a therapist more than just the hospital mandated sessions. kurt goes back to therapy as well and learns to share what he’s feeling regarding finn’s death. 

if you recognize some of the storylines adapted - good. there is not a single tragic event that grey’s has not covered at this point but i refuse to subject the glee group to all of them! 

[rose-red-ink]

Oh absolutely this is the Rey and Poe dynamic.

Now I'm all about you I'm all about you, ah (insp.)

[rose-red-ink]

Battle Cry -- Family Crest

Bullet Soul -- Switchfoot

--

Finally got the Poe Dameron web weave out! He's absolutely one of my favorites to write. He's quick-witted, skilled, and he ends up being the emotional support of the group

Other web weaves

Rey Kylo Ren Finn

[please-return-to-villanelle]

The Fates of Man

S3E7 recap

I’ve been actively avoiding spoilers for the finale so if some of this analysis has already been debunked then I’m sorry for the clownery you are about to read.

Firstly, I’d like to point out the infamous opening title cards are back but this time, they are a greenish color rather than the reddish color we saw in S3E2. It’s worth noting in this episode Villanelle wears green on more than one occasion while Eve is wearing a red colored shirt underneath her cardigan.

It’s an interesting use of opposing yet complimentary primary colors perhaps signifying that Eve and Villanelle are strong and bold personalities that lie on opposing sides of this spy game and the psychopathy spectrum, but they complement each other none the less.

In the opening scene, Villanelle is meeting with Helene and her go-to assassin Rhian. The purpose of this meeting is for Helene to assess Villanelle’s fitness for duty after her injury on her last mission.

Despite almost failing completely at killing her last mark, Villanelle takes a seat at the head of the table (a seat associated with power and control) and projects an aloof and uninterested demeanor. What I find really odd about this entire encounter is that Helene mandates that Villanelle is unable to work because she is injured and NOT because of her unstable emotional state.

So I have to wonder, why hasn’t the Twelve sent Villanelle for a psych evaluation in series 3? When she showed she was losing her focus in series 1, the Twelve mandated she had to be cleared by a psychologist before she was allowed to work again. I find it very odd that that’s not happening this season but rather Helene was sent to promote her to Keeper and then bench her because of her arm despite the evidence that she is erratically emotional which is clouding her judgement.

Monstrous people like you often feel like they have to fly solo and keep things bottled up inside them.

Maybe Helene is taking a new strategy with Villanelle and is trying to manipulate her emotions and have her unleash them in a productive fashion. Either that, or she has an alternate plan that does not involve prioritizing Villanelle’s health and safety. I mean if she has Rhian, her own assassin that seems to get the job done, why keep a problematic assassin like Villanelle around? It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense on the surface which leads me to assume the Twelve is using her as a means to an end.

The scene ultimately ends with Helene asserting her power over Villanelle, with Rhian hovering over her shoulder.

Once they exit the room, Villanelle releases her emotions and seems to concede to the fact that she truly has no power in this situation and is very alone.

Her fate as a member of the Twelve is to act as a monstrous puppet and do her master’s bidding. I think this scene ultimately shows that Villanelle’s priorities have changed, and she cannot find peace of mind in the role as monstrous killer and she really does not want to spend the rest of her life by herself.

Later on, Dasha reminds Villanelle of both her loneliness and her lack of joy in taking lives.  

This season has drawn many parallels between Villanelle and Dasha showing that both women are egotistical, perfectionist killers, and started their careers at young ages. I think the writers might be trying to show us what Villanelle’s career path might look like if she continues working for the Twelve. She could end up as a has been assassin who does not “still got it”, is forced to work with others despite hating every second of it, and is be manipulated by her handlers by being denied what she truly wants.

Dasha is under the impression that Villanelle is her final mission and upon completion she will be rewarded with what she wants: her freedom to return home evidently to her loved ones.

Sounds oddly familiar to Villanelle’s wish list, doesn’t it?

The fact that Dasha has family waiting for her is the metaphorical salt in the wound for Villanelle who is still in turmoil over her disastrous family reunion in which she realized that she doesn’t have that sense of family with her blood relatives that Dasha implies to have with her son.  

Villanelle is also lacking the joy and power she used to once feel when she watched the life drain from her victims’ eyes.

This is something her and Dasha had in common as Dasha describes how she feels when she kills and how much she will miss that feeling once she retires. In fact we literally see HOW Villanelle NOW feels after she kills someone (or when she thinks she has killed someone).

Rather than feel powerful, she looks lost and panicked. She does not stick around to watch the life drain and take pleasure in that, instead she runs away from the situation entirely and tells her real mark to do the same. Ultimately, this illustrates that Villanelle choses not to walk the same path as Dasha and does not want to share her fate of working for the Twelve for many years to come.

On the opposite side of the murder spectrum is Eve Polastri who finds an injured Dasha.

It is here we witness the beautiful transition into Dark Eve which arises with provocation from Dasha…

Eve processes the new information that Dasha did in fact try to kill Niko.

She calculates what she wants to do next to deal with this situation.

She chooses her own fate by acting as she wants to with a smile on her face. Revealing to us that, when in control of her decision to murder, Eve feels joy watching the life start to drain…

And she feels powerful while killing.

Could this mean that the higher ups in the Twelve could see this in Eve all along and have been keeping an eye on her to recruit her as an assassin? Or maybe Carolyn had similar hopes and dreams for Eve as well?

Either way, it’s as if Villanelle and Eve are both capable of murdering and revealing in that but they currently lie on opposite ends of this spectrum regarding how they feel about killing at this time. 

Eve feels powerful while Villanelle feels powerless.

We see this juxtaposition with them in their final (and only) scene together.

When Villanelle first boards the train she seems sad and lost but perks up once she sees Eve.

To her, this is tangible evidence that Eve cares about her and maybe she is not as alone in this world as she previously believed. This action from Eve causes Villanelle to reach out to Eve by calling her with the phone number she has apparently had this whole time. Her motivation here is to end the chase and create a new opportunity to form a real relationship with Eve; the one person who seems to care about her despite the chaos. It’s worth noting that Eve cycles through the same thought process when she receives the phone call that she did when she chose to try and kill Dasha (ie giving into her deepest desires).

Eve processes the new information that Villanelle is calling her.

She calculates what she wants to do next to deal with this situation.

She chooses her own fate by acting as she wants to with a smile on her face.

Carolyn begins this episode seemingly in control of her own destiny.

She is making progress with Kenny’s murder and has identified a weasel in MI6 that is working for the Twelve. However, by the end of the episode we see Carolyn realize that she may not be as in control of this situation as she once believed.

I feel the walls closing in on me. This is starting to feel personal.

As a long-standing MI6 agent and head of the Russia desk, Carolyn has to have been involved in many entanglements with the Twelve. In fact, in series 2 she successfully negotiated with them in regard to the Aaron Peele mission. Carolyn has managed to separate her MI6 work life from her personal life for many years and it seems like now that line of separation is breaking down. The death of Kenny and Mo now feel personal attacks to Carolyn rather than the typical collateral damage she is used to.

Perhaps Carolyn too will find a way to once again become the master of her own destiny rather than succumb to the will of the Twelve.

(Carolyn and Villaneve team up in series 4, please!)

Konstantin mentions death a lot in this episode and seems fixated on the many explosive tasks he is juggling. He claims that everyone in his life wants him dead because he is a prick and toys with the idea of letting the Twelve kill him since running away is pointless. They will eventually find him and kill him.

This conversation with Villanelle made me think of the promo photos and the concepts of The Fates (post). Interestingly, each woman has Konstantin tethered at the neck with flowing fabric from their respective dresses.

Konstantin is entangled with Carolyn, Eve, and Villanelle thanks to his money embezzling plan to gain his freedom from the Twelve.

This plan lead to the death of Kenny who was trailing the money and this personally affected Carolyn. Carolyn then involved Eve to uncover what foul play lead to Kenny’s demise which then directed Eve’s attention to chasing down Villanelle.

Konstantin seems to have now made peace with his decisions and accepts his doomed fate.

However, when he is on the brink of death during his heart attack he openly confessed that he doesn’t want to die with absolute honesty. He is revealing in this moment that he will do whatever it takes to save himself and escape his grim fate. 

I am a shit. I think whatever his plan is it will involve redirecting the wrath of the Twelve from him over Carolyn, Eve, and Villanelle Villanelle has already been implicated the most in the embezzling: she killed Kruger’s wife, a death that Paul is very interested in, and now her and Eve are going to retrieve the money (which now implicates Eve). Maybe Konstantin took advantage of Geraldine’s kindness and manipulated that situation to somehow frame Carolyn in all of this without her knowing as well. 

Either way, this is a recipe for an explosive finale that will affect the fates of all the main characters.

[master-sass-blast]

The Sleepover Fic

WELL, THIS ENDED DIFFERENTLY THAN I HAD PLANNED. GOOD LORD.

Summary: You enjoy a sleepover night with the X-Force at the X-Mansion --but partway through you get hit by a wall of depression. Fortunately, Piotr’s there to help you through it.

(Maybekindaprobablydefinitely inspired by the depressive episode I’ve had this week.)

Pairings: Piotr Rasputin x Reader and Nathan Summers x Wade Wilson (sorta).

Rating: T for language and depression.

@marvel-is-perfection

The idea, admittedly, is ridiculous. And that’s why you love it so much.

You’re camped out in the rec room with the rest of the X-Force, perched on the couch next to Piotr in your best set of pajamas --which, admittedly, were just a pair of pants that said ‘bacon makes everything better’ over and over and a random t-shirt. “Okay. So how does this sleepover thing work?”

The rec room’s been completely transformed, floor covered with various sleeping bags, cushions, air mattresses, blankets, and pillows. A pile of snacks covers every inch of the coffee table, along with a few soda bottles.

“Watch and learn, young padawan,” Wade says theatrically, waggling his nonexistent eyebrows for emphasis. As the self-appointed ‘party planner,’ he’d taken it upon himself to make sure that you and Russell checked off another box on the ‘well-rounded experiences’ list. “If you’re good, I might even let you try a little cocaine later.”

“No,” Piotr says automatically, acting as the self-appointed-but-also-kinda-volun-told adult of the night. “Absolutely not.”

“I was kidding, Russia’s Greatest Love Machine. Geez. I don’t share my coke with anyone.”

Yukio giggles while Neena --who’s only staying for a few hours, citing ‘having an actual life to get back to’ for why she’s leaving early--braids her hair. “So, what do you have planned, Wade?”

“Since when does Wade plan anything?” Ellie fires back, deadpan, while she continues beating Russell in Mario Kart.

“Well, I figured we’d hit all the sleepover staples,” Wade chirps. “A little Truth or Dare, some never have I ever, ooh, maybe some Seven Minutes in Heaven--”

“Several of us are minors, douchepool,” Ellie interjects, still deadpan.

“Okay, not that, then. And, when the night starts to wane, we’ll wrap everything up with a massive movie marathon. First person asleep gets pranked!”

“Nyet.”

“Oh, come on, you silver buzzkill! Pranking the first person to fall asleep is a fundamental part of any sleepover!”

“I would allow it if your pranks weren’t so destructive.”

“Okay, name one thing I’ve destroyed in the past twenty-four hours!”

“We’ll be here longer than a night if he does that, dipshit,” Nathan grumbles; he’s also only hanging around for a short period of time, but unlike Neena, his reason for leaving early amounts to ‘not sleeping in the same damn room as Wilson all night.’

Which, admittedly, given Wade’s tendencies to cuddle like an octopus, makes sense.

“Well, I think it sounds like a blast!” you say.

“Thank you!” Wade cheers. “Finally! You think I’d get more respect, considering this is my fucking franchise!”

You can’t help but laugh as Piotr cuts Wade off while Nathan presses his water bottle to his nose, looking endlessly annoyed. New experience or not, tonight was definitely promising to be a fantastic ride.

Truth or dare, as it turns out, is the best game ever to play with Wade Wilson.

First, he thinks of good parameters to keep things from getting boring; case in point, the first rule he establishes is that you can’t pick the same option three times in a row, thus keeping people from sticking to the --arguably safer--truth option for too long.

Second, he actually took the time to write down a bunch of suggestions from a website beforehand, thus preventing the inevitable ‘everyone’s run out of good ideas’ drudge.

Third, he mandates that all dare must be filmed for posterity’s sake. They can be deleted afterwards, but everything has to be caught on camera and reviewed by the group first.

Which is exactly how you find yourself watching a video of Piotr doing a traditional Cossack dance.

“This is amazing,” you giggle as you send the video to your email account.

Piotr simply shakes his head as he sits back down next to you. “If you say so.”

Things get better from there. You get to watch Ellie do a very flat rendition of ‘I’m a Little Teapot’ --which is funnier than it has any right to be--and watch Russell do a solidly decent lip sync to Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies.’

Funnier still is watching Wade try to bust Neena with truths and dares, only to somehow draw the most benign options from the bowls each time.

“How?” Wade screams when Neena does an effortless set of cartwheels. “I wrote these! There wasn’t even a cartwheel option in there! What sort of fourth wall, author interference bullshit is this?”

“Well, that’s another dare done for me,” Neena says, purposefully cheerful for the sake of pissing off Wade even more. “I guess it’s my turn. Cable --truth or dare?”

Nathan rolls his eyes, mutters something under his breath that is most definitely a string of profanities, and grumbles, “Dare.”

Neena fishes around in the dare bowl before selecting a piece of folded Hello Kitty stationary. “Ask a neighbor if they have a condom you can borrow.”

Ellie lets out a snort. “Do it to Scott. Ask Scott.”

Nathan’s face goes deadly blank --and then his techno-organic eye flares as the corner of his mouth turns up in a vicious grin. “Yeah. Wade, I need your help for this.”

“Hey, you have to ask--”

“I’m asking. I just need you to stand next to me while I do it.”

Ellie practically falls off her air mattress as she cackles. “Fuck yeah. Wait, I’m coming to watch.”

All of you wind up following Nathan to Scott’s room, standing in various positions in the hall while Nathan knocks on the door with his human hand.

(For the record, the look on Scott’s face when Nathan asks him for a condom while Wade waggles his fingers at the bespectacled man is absolutely priceless.)

After that, Truth or Dare is declared ‘done’ on account of the fact that nothing will ever top that moment.

Things detour to a Mario Kart tournament, in which Ellie proves that Neena’s lucky powers have limits.

“This is the best thing ever!” Wade cheers as Neena comes second to Ellie’s first --again. “I take back what I said about you, author! You’re amazing!”

You shoot a confused look at Piotr, and opt to settle back against his side when he shrugs, expression easily confused. “Hey, Wade, you’re good at Mario Kart, right?”

“Well, I don’t want to toot my horn, but my skills in Mario Kart come in second only to my skills at Skee-Ball.”

“Do you think you could beat Ellie?”

Wade’s eyes narrow when Ellie barks out a laugh. “Oh, you think you can win?” He swipes a controller off the coffee table and plops down next to her. “Bring it on, Negasonic Soon-To-Be Loser.”

The match is over sooner than you ever would’ve expected for two reasons.

First: Ellie and Wade decide to jump straight to the hardest option possible --Rainbow Road in Mirror Mode.

Second: No one has the stomach to watch anything on the TV afterwards.

(For the record, Ellie wins, and Wade isn’t happy about it).

Never Have I Ever doesn’t last long, either. Mostly because Wade’s done just about everything anyone can think of, or has had just about everything happen to him.

It does result in some awesome story-telling, though. After a certain point, the game completely tapers off in favor of telling stories entirely. Wade and Neena both have the best, hands down, but Piotr and Yukio come in at a close second thanks to their unique backgrounds and heritages.

You quickly realize, though, that you don’t really have anything worth contributing to the story-time session. There’s nothing from your childhood that’s really worth repeating, and your friends already know everything that’s happened to you here.

Suddenly, you feel completely detached from the room, from your friends, from everything. It’s like someone’s cut the cords keeping you tethered to the world and you’re drifting away from reality.

You get up abruptly, managing a smile and citing some sort of excuse about needing to use the bathroom, and get the fuck out of there.

The bathrooms at Xavier’s, unfortunately, aren’t designed for one person at a time. They’re built like locker room restrooms --albeit much cleaner--with multiple stalls and sinks.

You take the stall furthest from the entry, lock yourself in, tuck your legs up as you sit on the toilet lid, and hope that no one comes looking for you.

You aren’t sure if you want to cry. You can feel the sensation tugging at you --grief, rage, pain--but it seems just as distant as the rec room, numbed by your unwitting ejection from reality.

A larger part of you just wants to disappear for a bit. Slip upstairs, get in bed, hide in the darkness of your room.

They probably wouldn’t even notice I was gone, you think --even your internal voice seems dulled in the face of this sudden shut down. It’s not like I was really contributing anything anyway.

A different part of you doesn’t want to leave your friends, if only because you don’t want to have to explain what’s going on; fuck, you barely even understand it yourself.

That, and they’d probably come looking for you if you did head up to your room, and as much as you love them you just want to vanish right now and get away from the noise that’s always everywhere--

You let your forehead rest against your knees. Fuck. The fuck’s wrong with me?

By the time you manage to uncurl yourself and stand up --and it takes a while if the stiffness in your legs are anything to go by--you’ve made up your mind. I’ll just say I wasn’t feeling well and decided to go to bed if anyone asks tomorrow morning.

You don’t get too far with your plan, though, because Neena and Piotr are waiting for you just outside the bathroom door.

You flinch back, startled. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Neena says with a sunny smile. “I’m heading out for the night. Wanted to make sure I said good-bye.”

The ‘need to disappear’ feeling only gets worse, more grating and jarring, when she wraps her arms around you. Fuck. This is hell. You manage to eek out a ‘good night’ and let out a shaky breath as she walks away.

Because you’re not out of the woods yet. Piotr’s still here, watching you with gentle concern.

He brushes his fingers against your upper arm. “Are you alright, myshka?”

Your brain completely cuts out, leaving you adrift and barely able to stay upright. Talk. Say something, for fuck’s sake!

Instead, you just let out a breath and sag against him.

He kisses the top of your head and wraps his arms around your body. “How about we step outside, just for moment? I think fresh air would do you good.”

You let him steer you towards the front door, moving without thought. You suck in a breath when the cool night air hits you, rattling your brain a little from whatever’s come over you.

Piotr, to his credit, doesn’t leave you. He keeps his arms around you, rubs his hands up and down your back, kisses the top of your head, lets you lean against him like he’s the only thing in the world keeping you upright.

He kinda is, if you think about it.

He stays quiet, though, just letting you suck in breath after breath of fresh night air, letting your press your face against his chest and just breathe.

“You gonna ask me what’s wrong?” You ask after a while, voice a little too sharp, a little too acidic in the face of your unwelcome melancholy.

Piotr just kisses the top of your head. “Do you want me to?”

He’s gentle, not passive aggressive in the least, genuinely giving you an out if you don’t want to talk about it.

I don’t deserve him. “I just wanna disappear. Everything feels... like it’s too much.”

“Did not having happy stories from your childhood upset you?”

Bam. Right on the money. Whoever’s said that Piotr Rasputin is an idiot is dead wrong --blindly optimistic at times, yes, but never stupid.

“The fuck am I even contributing to the group?” You let out a bitter laugh. “Shit, I’m such a downer. Can’t enjoy everyone else’s happiness, can’t contribute my own.”

“Nights like these aren’t about equal contribution,” Piotr murmurs as he kisses your forehead. “And it’s okay to be sad that you don’t have similar tales. Besides, not everyone contributed equally. Cable was mostly silent as well, as was Russell.”

You let out a frustrated huff. “Yeah, but --I just-- Piotr, what’s the point of having me around if I can’t keep up with everyone? What’s the point of me being a part of the X-Force if I can’t contribute outside of fights? We’re supposed to be a team --a family.”

Piotr clasps your upper arms gently as he crouches in front of you so you can see his face in the dim light of the moon and the lights from inside the mansion. “Myshka, family means we take ups with downs. You do not have to be happy all the time --especially if something upsets you. And aside from your many valuable skills --and there are many--we keep you around because we want you with us. You, as you are, is enough.”

Your throat constricts at the thought, and you bury your face in his shoulder in an effort to hide your tears. “I just wanna be good enough.”

“You are,” Piotr croons gently in your ear. His arms wrap around you, shielding you from the chill of the night and bathing you in warmth and love. “You are more than good enough, myshka.”

When you finally come down from your grief --pain, anger, sorrow, everything--who knows how much time later, you find that your brain’s turned back on.

Not all the way. But just a little. Just enough.

You slump against Piotr’s shoulder and chest. “I dunno if I wanna go back to the group. I kinda just wanna go back to bed.”

“Do you think that’s what would be best for you?”

“...I don’t know.”

“Khorosho. That’s fine. How about this: come watch one movie with us. If you still want to go to bed after, you can. If not, you stay with group.”

You let out a shaky sigh and nod. “Okay. That works.”

You almost chicken out as you walk towards the rec room. You can feel everything shutting off again, and you don’t want to suck a night of enjoyment away from the group.

But Piotr’s hand is a comforting, solid presence on yours, a tether to reality that you can’t bear to let go off.

The warm light of the rec room almost seems too bright as you step over the threshold, and you grip Piotr’s hand tighter.

Yukio greets you with a bright, sunny smile and pulls you in for a hug. She doesn’t mention your red eyes or puffy cheeks or the fact that you were gone for so long. “We need someone to break a tie on the first movie choice.”

“Listen, Negasonic-My-Name-Won’t-Age-Well, ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’ is a literal, actual classic. It deserves to go first.”

“And ‘Get Out’ is both cutting edge and critically acclaimed. I still don’t see you making any points that actually tilt the argument in your favor.”

“Will someone just make a damn decision?” Nathan growls as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

You manage to smile, buoyed by your friends’ enthusiasm, as everyone looks at you. “‘Get Out’ first. I have a feeling we’ll need Monty Python to cheer us all up after.”

“Go to sleep, lyublyu.”

You blink wearily, the images of ‘Robin Hood: Men in Tights’ blurring before your eyes. You’d made it through the first three movies just fine, but you were barely holding on now. “I don’t wanna fall asleep first. Wade’s gonna prank me.”

Piotr lets out a gentle, quiet laugh and points surreptitiously across the room. “I do not think that will be problem.”

You manage to lift your head and clear your vision long enough to see that Wade’s long since passed out, slumped against an equally dead to the world Nathan. “They so like each other.”

Piotr chuckles and tugs you back down against his chest. “Da. Now rest, moya lyubov’. Everything will be fine.”

You lay your head down and finally let your eyes close.

You wake up on the couch alone, carefully tucked under a quilt and head propped up on a pillow.

It doesn’t take too long to figure out where Piotr went thanks to the sounds and smells coming from the kitchen --and the tone deaf humming; Piotr’s many things, but a naturally gifted singer is not one of them.

You sit up and stretch, rolling your shoulders and neck to work out the stiffness that came from not sleeping a proper bed with a proper pillow.

Nathan and Wade are nowhere to be seen; presumably, they’ve gone back to their rooms --or room if Wade managed to invite himself into Nathan’s bed without getting punched.

Ellie, Yukio, and Russell are still asleep on the floor, cushioned by air mattresses and blankets. Russell’s sprawled out like a starfish, and Ellie and Yukio are holding hands even though they’re sleeping on separate mattresses.

There’s a notification on your phone --a text from Neena.

Neener Wiener: Hope you’re feeling better this morning.

And you...

You are feeling better. Not completely, but a little.

It’s something.

You smile to yourself, just a little, and get up to join your boyfriend in the kitchen.

[rylredrants]

Grief

Last night I was dreaming about parties, and meeting strangers, going to bars, partying without a care in the world. Mostly.

I was dreaming about things that I once did. Meeting strangers, going to parties, getting drunk and stoned, and living… fearlessly.

I quit drinking 3 years ago this month, right after meeting the other half of the quad. There was grief over giving up steak and wine night with MM, and the loss of the part of my identity that was attached to drinking (and eating steak!) in a way I hadn’t expected.

But at the time, I couldn’t see that grief.

Instead, the next loss hit hard and fast and it all started to pile up.

Fast forward to January 2020 living alone for the first time in my entire life.

I was working again, with a chaotic and unpredictable team. I was crazy, skinny, crying all the time, but I just kept going. I had no choice.

There was a day that spring after the lockdowns had begun and ‘cloth face coverings’ were recommended so that the medical-grade ones could be saved for the medical personnel on the front lines of the pandemic.

That was when the weight of it all hit me.

I was sitting on the floor of my office with the contents of my fabric bag in a pile beside me… I’d been trying in vain to figure out how to make a cloth mask I’d seen in a tutorial and just fell apart. I don’t know how long I laid on the floor sobbing, surrounded by scraps of old tee-shirts, but I knew it was grief that put me there.

I had this sense that life as I knew it was really, truly over.

I was grieving the long trips to Kohl’s, wandering around the jewelry department, smelling perfume samples, and testing lipstick on my forearm.

I was grieving the comedy shows where I sat, packed like a sardine in a barely ventilated theater watching a friend's improv troupe.

Grieving the smells of coffee and kitchen grease at my favorite local brunch place.

I’d already given up the quick trips to the grocery store to just grab one thing or the long ones where I’d take time to find the best watermelon and grab a sample at the deli counter.

Working from home had been my life for nearly a decade before the world started discussing Zoom etiquette and sharing clips of people forgetting their camera was still on in a meeting.

The ‘new norm’ had a lot of familiar things, but still, I was grieving.

And I was struggling with daily life to the point where all I accomplished at times was staying alive and staying employed. Barely.

That summer when I met Pirate, the 4 walls of my apartment began to feel less like a prison and more like a playground. We cooked dinner together, made porn (my alter ego just hit 2K followers on Twitter!)...

We started doing Sunday brunch with his son. I baked, tried new recipes, played dress-up for photoshoots and all but forgot how the rest of the world was unraveling.

But there I go running too far back into the story to stay on track with where I was going… Where was I?

I used to be so fucking fearless.

And for every time I had another loss in my life to grieve, I had hope. I saw the next chapter, the next adventure… I was able to say, “That was a shitty lesson to learn but I AM stronger and better for it.”

But that’s started to change after almost 18 months of the pandemic and all of the personal and global fallout.

I’ve been in a new town for 3 months now where I don’t know the area or the people aside from the woman who adopted one of the puppies we had to rehome before moving here.

Pirate was lured out here by a great new job only to have them fire him days before his benefits would have kicked in. Apparently, that was why there had been so many others in that position before him. We have nothing here but a year-long lease.

I have been in my new position for 4 months, building a department for the part of the company I began with almost 4 years ago. We finally started teaching classes last month, so you’d think I’d be excited to see all of my hard work and planning in action.

But you’d be wrong.

I’m seeing my hard work and planning being pissed all over by colleagues who can’t follow a lesson plan and a boss who, when I went to him to express my concern about it said, “I don’t want to kick anyone while they’re down.”

I’m being pushed to do more- teaching classes while working on improving the program as a whole with the promise of a promotion that seems to get further away from my reach each day. And I’m doing it for a salary that, after you factor in the 10-12 hour days puts me just a sneeze above minimum wage.

And then there’s the Delta variant.

We live in a country where faux-news fed MAGAts continue to spread disinformation about the vaccine faster than COVID can mutate. All of the same assholes who suddenly decided that ‘my body my choice’ was good reason to protest mask mandates (but still not a good enough reason to stop trying to overturn Roe v Wade).

And now we have increasing numbers of fully vaccinated people with COVID, including MM's girlfriend.

The red-state 45’ers will say that it’s no worse than the flu and cite ‘survival’ rates while disregarding what losing just a week of work would do to their own low-income family. Never mind the devastating impact that a hospital stay would have. And that’s just the money part.

It’s all the same bullshit I’ve been writing about since Twitler began promoting bleach injections and the need for ‘reopening’ last year. It’s exhausting.

I’m an extrovert by nature.

That doesn’t mean that I love people or am the center of attention at every gathering… though as a host and presenter I often was. That means that being around others fuels me.

It’s where I get my energy.

I’ve also developed a certain level of social anxiety that’s worse in large, public places like concerts, amusement parks, and crowded grocery stores.

That anxiety started developing over a decade ago, and I learned that the more isolated I am the worse it gets. The antidote was to go shopping, host a party, go to dinner with a group of new people… all things that have disappeared from my life over the last 18 months.

It’s an odd balance being an extrovert with social anxiety.

Seeing the crowds at this year’s Lollapalooza and then watching the documentary about Woodstock ’99 reminded me of that dichotomy and hit both ends of that spectrum full force.

There’s a special kind of energy in those places. The sense of being lost in the sea of people, all moving to the same beat.

It brought back the feeling of being in ‘the crush’ at the Gwar show where I lost myself to the energy until I was brought back to stark reality. A large, bald dude threw just enough weight at me that I panicked and started swinging my fists. The bouncers pulled us both out, I cried, he apologized. Then he helped me get right back into the thick of it where I was doused in streams of colored liquid by the band. Good times!

There was a high when all of that energy filled me.

Whether it was at a loud venue where I’d turn into a ‘woo girl’ singing along and cheering, or a smaller party where the conversations would go until someone sobered up enough to drive us to Denny’s for bad coffee and sickly sweet pancakes; those were the times I felt most alive.

For so long, I would go to those places, get drunk, get high (on the energy more often than cannabis), meet strangers, and party with only the fear of a hangover.

Piece by piece, all of those things have disappeared from my world and this time I can’t seem to find the hope I once had that it will get better again.

I was in a really bad place last week.

And that was before the Afghanistan evacuations began.

The usual passive thoughts of just checking out got a little louder, and my ability to look for the silver lining, the lesson, the next adventure had all but disappeared.

It felt like one of the worst depressive episodes I’ve had in a long time, but I had to keep ‘pushing through’ and putting on my grown-up panties.

Stay employed and stay alive.

One morning I realized that it hasn't been depression weighing me down.

It’s grief.

I’m grieving for a life I once had. For places I used to go, people who I had to cut out of my life, and energy that gave me a high greater than any bottle of wine or canna-buttered treat could.

Those were the things that made me feel alive.

So now what?

Now, I know it’s grief that’s been weighing me down.

It’s not an internal failing, or solely the usual chemical imbalance driving me deeper into myself and away from the ability to feel joy.

It’s grief that comes from a sense of hopelessness.

I haven’t learned how to live like this yet. It’s a process that had to begin by recognizing where I am so I can figure out where to go next.

Right now, I'm going to go to the couch. Another on the hamster wheel of bed, desk, bad TV, repeat.

I'll try again tomorrow...

[johnboothus]

We Asked Wine Pros: What Are the Worst Trends in Wine Right Now?

While some trends come and go in the blink of an eye, others (hard seltzer, anyone?) are here to stay. While some of us love changing with the times and drinking what’s in vogue, others aren’t so quick to sip what’s new. Luckily, one imbiber’s least favorite fad is another’s obsession. And for every half-empty glass of piquette, there’s an opportunity for a refill.

Two decades ago, the screw cap fought tooth and nail to overcome its trendy status. Today, however, such alternative closures are commonly accepted as an economical solution to ever-increasing packaging costs. The industry now trudges through murky waters when it comes to low- or zero-alcohol wines. While they provide options for consumers looking to cut down on their booze intakes, no- and low-ABV wines have yet to stand on solid ground among traditional winemakers and connoisseurs.

To find out which fads are on their way out, we asked 10 of the industry’s top professionals what they think are the worst trends in wine right now.

The Worst Trends in Wine Right Now:

Hating on natural wine

“Diet” wine

Wine apps

Low-carb and low-sugar wines

Confusion about the term red blends

Manufactured character in wine

Clean wine

Natural wine without a holistic approach

Complicated corkscrews

Wine professionals who don’t consider budget

Keep reading for the worst trends in wine right now!

“I think the way many are talking about natural wine ends up sounding like the record store employees in High Fidelity: judgmental and elitist. In my 20s, I drank hundreds of gallons of Hearty Burgundy from a jug. Was it flawed? Sure. Out of balance? Certainly. A little gross? I didn’t care. Natural wines are gateway bottles — the beginning of a journey of discovery and exploration, which is what loving wine is all about. As wine professionals, we should instead preach for the demystification and democratization of wine and stop sounding like an old person complaining about the kids’ music these days.” —Chris Horn, director of liquids, Heavy Restaurant Group, Seattle

“I hate the diet wine trend! Naturally, given what I do, I have a great appreciation for well-crafted wine, and to make a wine with the goal of keeping the calories down feels like blasphemy. I try to educate consumers about wines with higher or lower sugar or alcohol contents, and you can make a delicious, bone-dry, low-alcohol wine. Telling consumers that most wine is made in vats mixed with sugar and chemicals is seriously a scare tactic. What wine is made like that?? Also, marketing wine as paleo or keto is downright confusing. At the end of the day, wine has calories. It is made from sugar — yes, it is the sugar found in fresh grapes, but sugar has calories. If you want to lose weight, don’t drink alcohol. A diet wine won’t get you there.” —Emily Wines MS, vice president of wine & beverage experience, Cooper’s Hawk Winery & Restaurants, Downers Grove, Ill.

“One of the more annoying trends that I’m finding these days is a reliance on wine apps. Don’t get me wrong, I get the appeal! Having a quick-access library of what you’ve tasted ready to access on a whim is useful. That said, aggregate point scores, ‘Yelp-style’ slagging, and ranking percentages are doing a great disservice to many amazing producers. Many world-class wines get pushed aside by algorithms and suffer from incomplete tasting notes input by users. Be an adventurous wine lover, and keep discovering great new bottles — free from your screen.” —Andrew Forsyth, sommelier, L’Abattoir, Vancouver, B.C.

“One of the worst trends in wine right now to me is the whole low-carb, low- to zero-sugar wine movement and people believing that it is ‘natural’ or better for them. Wine naturally has sugar and carbs. To remove or change that is to make it even less natural. It’s like how we are all being forced to make cauliflower-crust everything instead of eating actual pizza dough. I feel sad that it’s turning into the same thing for our wine consumption. I am all for the ‘natural wine’ craze, but please do your homework, friends, on what that means. Or book a virtual wine tasting with me, and I will help you!” —Samantha Capaldi, wine consulting, Samantha Sommelier, Phoenix

“One can argue that all red wines are blends of some degree (a blend of different clones, blocks of grapes, different grapes, different vintages, different vineyards, etc.), so there is no novelty or true trend here. However, the term has stuck and is perceived as a trend among the general consumer. Historically speaking, red blends have existed for centuries. Regions like Bordeaux and the Rhône Valley have always been red blends by law (it is literally mandated). In the U.S., one could argue meritage was the U.S.’s first legally recognized red blend. Bottom line, red blends [are] a confusing trend as [they are] not novel, although [they do] represent a divergence from single-grape-labelled wines. Perhaps the silver lining to this trend is that it opens the door for consumers to taste more traditional red blend regions.” —Lindsay Pomeroy, Master of Wine; owner, Wine Smarties, San Diego

“I don’t appreciate the manufactured character in wine. The trend of finishing wines in wooden vessels previously used to age spirits (e.g., tequila or bourbon) is preposterous to me. Used barrels are great, as they provide micro-oxygenation, harmony in the mid-palate, and enhanced ageability for the finished wine. However, I strongly believe that wine should taste like wine, bourbon should taste like American oak and caramel, and tequila should taste deliciously vegetal and complex.” —Todd Lipman, wine director, Nantucket Wine & Food Festival; general manager, Puritan & Co., Cambridge, Mass.

“I hate those who talk about a clean wine being healthier than a competitor. It certainly isn’t going to suddenly alleviate your headaches (well, maybe the ones I get from hearing those making the claims), shave off unwanted pounds, or cure cancer. Good wine, made by competent, thoughtful vignerons, will help you and your loved ones connect. It might even grant us the ability to get over one of the most painful episodes the world has faced. Wine is fellowship. And fellowship is one thing we have sorely missed.” —William Davis, director of education, Wilson Daniels, Denver.

“A tendency that needs to change is the sudden addition of natural or amphora wines in a winery portfolio, especially in a region that might not necessarily suit that style of wine. One can be at an appointment tasting a range of conventional wines. Then, out of nowhere — bam! A rep offers the newest experimentations of natural or organic, zero-sulphur amphora wines. It feels like the winery is trying to fill a BIPOC diversity quota without really doing the work. I would like to see a more conscientious and focused effort around this category of wine that is holistic in approach and not just trying to fill and force the market.” —Christopher Sealy, wine director, Alo Restaurant and Arc of Flavours, Toronto

“There are many shapes and choices when it comes to wine openers. I go to my friend’s home, and they pull this drawer of wine openers out. They always look at me strangely when I have an odd look on my face. You only need one wine key for 95 percent of the wine you open. The ‘waiters friend’ or ‘waiters corkscrew’ is all you need. I can’t recommend it enough. If you are opening mature wine where the cork has become sensitive, you can use an Osso wine key. You don’t need anything else.” —Marcus Gausepohl, wine specialist, Houston Wine Merchant, Houston

“Recent increases in wine certifications have easily been more beneficial than not. However, I feel this increase directly correlates with consistently rising prices. This amounts to certified wine professionals not ensuring people are in their budget comfort zone. It’s not necessarily driven by greed but by an almost hyper-excitement about prestigious and often expensive products. Their explanation of certification often accompanies their singular and expensive recommendation. Maybe instead use that energy to ask, ‘What is your price range?’ or suggest, ‘Let me recommend a few wines that I think you will enjoy.’” —Ray Gumpert, sommelier, The Furloughed Four, New Orleans

The article We Asked Wine Pros: What Are the Worst Trends in Wine Right Now? appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/wa-10-wine-pros-worst-trends/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/we-asked-wine-pros-what-are-the-worst-trends-in-wine-right-now

[wineanddinosaur]

We Asked Wine Pros: What Are the Worst Trends in Wine Right Now?

While some trends come and go in the blink of an eye, others (hard seltzer, anyone?) are here to stay. While some of us love changing with the times and drinking what’s in vogue, others aren’t so quick to sip what’s new. Luckily, one imbiber’s least favorite fad is another’s obsession. And for every half-empty glass of piquette, there’s an opportunity for a refill.

Two decades ago, the screw cap fought tooth and nail to overcome its trendy status. Today, however, such alternative closures are commonly accepted as an economical solution to ever-increasing packaging costs. The industry now trudges through murky waters when it comes to low- or zero-alcohol wines. While they provide options for consumers looking to cut down on their booze intakes, no- and low-ABV wines have yet to stand on solid ground among traditional winemakers and connoisseurs.

To find out which fads are on their way out, we asked 10 of the industry’s top professionals what they think are the worst trends in wine right now.

The Worst Trends in Wine Right Now:

Hating on natural wine

“Diet” wine

Wine apps

Low-carb and low-sugar wines

Confusion about the term red blends

Manufactured character in wine

Clean wine

Natural wine without a holistic approach

Complicated corkscrews

Wine professionals who don’t consider budget

Keep reading for the worst trends in wine right now!

“I think the way many are talking about natural wine ends up sounding like the record store employees in High Fidelity: judgmental and elitist. In my 20s, I drank hundreds of gallons of Hearty Burgundy from a jug. Was it flawed? Sure. Out of balance? Certainly. A little gross? I didn’t care. Natural wines are gateway bottles — the beginning of a journey of discovery and exploration, which is what loving wine is all about. As wine professionals, we should instead preach for the demystification and democratization of wine and stop sounding like an old person complaining about the kids’ music these days.” —Chris Horn, director of liquids, Heavy Restaurant Group, Seattle

“I hate the diet wine trend! Naturally, given what I do, I have a great appreciation for well-crafted wine, and to make a wine with the goal of keeping the calories down feels like blasphemy. I try to educate consumers about wines with higher or lower sugar or alcohol contents, and you can make a delicious, bone-dry, low-alcohol wine. Telling consumers that most wine is made in vats mixed with sugar and chemicals is seriously a scare tactic. What wine is made like that?? Also, marketing wine as paleo or keto is downright confusing. At the end of the day, wine has calories. It is made from sugar — yes, it is the sugar found in fresh grapes, but sugar has calories. If you want to lose weight, don’t drink alcohol. A diet wine won’t get you there.” —Emily Wines MS, vice president of wine & beverage experience, Cooper’s Hawk Winery & Restaurants, Downers Grove, Ill.

“One of the more annoying trends that I’m finding these days is a reliance on wine apps. Don’t get me wrong, I get the appeal! Having a quick-access library of what you’ve tasted ready to access on a whim is useful. That said, aggregate point scores, ‘Yelp-style’ slagging, and ranking percentages are doing a great disservice to many amazing producers. Many world-class wines get pushed aside by algorithms and suffer from incomplete tasting notes input by users. Be an adventurous wine lover, and keep discovering great new bottles — free from your screen.” —Andrew Forsyth, sommelier, L’Abattoir, Vancouver, B.C.

“One of the worst trends in wine right now to me is the whole low-carb, low- to zero-sugar wine movement and people believing that it is ‘natural’ or better for them. Wine naturally has sugar and carbs. To remove or change that is to make it even less natural. It’s like how we are all being forced to make cauliflower-crust everything instead of eating actual pizza dough. I feel sad that it’s turning into the same thing for our wine consumption. I am all for the ‘natural wine’ craze, but please do your homework, friends, on what that means. Or book a virtual wine tasting with me, and I will help you!” —Samantha Capaldi, wine consulting, Samantha Sommelier, Phoenix

“One can argue that all red wines are blends of some degree (a blend of different clones, blocks of grapes, different grapes, different vintages, different vineyards, etc.), so there is no novelty or true trend here. However, the term has stuck and is perceived as a trend among the general consumer. Historically speaking, red blends have existed for centuries. Regions like Bordeaux and the Rhône Valley have always been red blends by law (it is literally mandated). In the U.S., one could argue meritage was the U.S.’s first legally recognized red blend. Bottom line, red blends [are] a confusing trend as [they are] not novel, although [they do] represent a divergence from single-grape-labelled wines. Perhaps the silver lining to this trend is that it opens the door for consumers to taste more traditional red blend regions.” —Lindsay Pomeroy, Master of Wine; owner, Wine Smarties, San Diego

“I don’t appreciate the manufactured character in wine. The trend of finishing wines in wooden vessels previously used to age spirits (e.g., tequila or bourbon) is preposterous to me. Used barrels are great, as they provide micro-oxygenation, harmony in the mid-palate, and enhanced ageability for the finished wine. However, I strongly believe that wine should taste like wine, bourbon should taste like American oak and caramel, and tequila should taste deliciously vegetal and complex.” —Todd Lipman, wine director, Nantucket Wine & Food Festival; general manager, Puritan & Co., Cambridge, Mass.

“I hate those who talk about a clean wine being healthier than a competitor. It certainly isn’t going to suddenly alleviate your headaches (well, maybe the ones I get from hearing those making the claims), shave off unwanted pounds, or cure cancer. Good wine, made by competent, thoughtful vignerons, will help you and your loved ones connect. It might even grant us the ability to get over one of the most painful episodes the world has faced. Wine is fellowship. And fellowship is one thing we have sorely missed.” —William Davis, director of education, Wilson Daniels, Denver.

“A tendency that needs to change is the sudden addition of natural or amphora wines in a winery portfolio, especially in a region that might not necessarily suit that style of wine. One can be at an appointment tasting a range of conventional wines. Then, out of nowhere — bam! A rep offers the newest experimentations of natural or organic, zero-sulphur amphora wines. It feels like the winery is trying to fill a BIPOC diversity quota without really doing the work. I would like to see a more conscientious and focused effort around this category of wine that is holistic in approach and not just trying to fill and force the market.” —Christopher Sealy, wine director, Alo Restaurant and Arc of Flavours, Toronto

“There are many shapes and choices when it comes to wine openers. I go to my friend’s home, and they pull this drawer of wine openers out. They always look at me strangely when I have an odd look on my face. You only need one wine key for 95 percent of the wine you open. The ‘waiters friend’ or ‘waiters corkscrew’ is all you need. I can’t recommend it enough. If you are opening mature wine where the cork has become sensitive, you can use an Osso wine key. You don’t need anything else.” —Marcus Gausepohl, wine specialist, Houston Wine Merchant, Houston

“Recent increases in wine certifications have easily been more beneficial than not. However, I feel this increase directly correlates with consistently rising prices. This amounts to certified wine professionals not ensuring people are in their budget comfort zone. It’s not necessarily driven by greed but by an almost hyper-excitement about prestigious and often expensive products. Their explanation of certification often accompanies their singular and expensive recommendation. Maybe instead use that energy to ask, ‘What is your price range?’ or suggest, ‘Let me recommend a few wines that I think you will enjoy.’” —Ray Gumpert, sommelier, The Furloughed Four, New Orleans

The article We Asked Wine Pros: What Are the Worst Trends in Wine Right Now? appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/wa-10-wine-pros-worst-trends/

[ladystylestores]

TV writers, like all of us, are developing a love-hate relationship with Zoom

Enlarge / ATX TV’s panel on writers’ room Zooms: From L to R, top row: IndieWire’s Ben Travers (moderator), Sera Gamble (Netflix’s You), Dan Goor (Brooklyn Nine-Nine). Bottom row: Melinda Hsu Taylor (Nancy Drew) and Beth Schwartz (Sweettooth) 

Every week now seems to bring news of another Hollywood project being delayed. Sometimes this is because you can’t make money in an empty theater, but it’s just as often due to production halts in light of the COVID-19 pandemic. While most of that industry hits pause for now, one crucial segment has not—the writers. Like many of us, they’ve instead become intimately familiar with the inner workings of on-the-job Zoom calls.

“I kind of feel for every aspiring TV writer at home right now due to the pandemic,” said Sera Gamble, showrunner of Netflix’s You (formerly of Supernatural and The Magicians), during this year’s online-only edition of the ATX TV Festival. “They’re trying to write while doing a bunch of other stuff; well, congrats, you’re now in showrunner training. I’ve frequently had to sit down in the past and rewrite a script in a moment that felt like a severe crisis, and sometimes it was a severe crisis. But it feels like that times 10. I have to reset expectations every morning: I wake up, wait a minute before checking my phone, check in with loved ones, and then take the problems of the day as they come… [I tell my writers] ‘You can’t solve what you can’t solve, so what can we get done in the next hour?'”

For this late-addition panel to this year’s ATX TV Festival, Gamble (virtually) joined Dan Goor (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Parks and Rec), Melinda Hsu Taylor (Nancy Drew, Lost), and Beth Schwartz (Sweet Tooth, Arrow) to take streamers “Inside the Writers (Zoom) Room.” For some, the change came abruptly. Hsu Taylor and her staff had nearly completed both writing and production on the latest season of Nancy Drew when suddenly they had to convert everything to be remote-friendly (she credits doing a Zoom birthday for her son around that time for helping her grasp the basic logistics and experience). Other writers started wholesale in a digital world, like the staff of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. They were five weeks into story-breaking at the time of this panel and hadn’t been together in-person at all while working on the upcoming season eight.

No one had a choice, of course. As COVID-19 continues to surge in the United States—the country passed the 2-million-case mark within the last two weeks—all walks of life must adjust. And when any in-person interactions come with potentially life-threatening risk for the foreseeable future, suddenly Zoom calls sound downright preferable.

“Right when we went home, there was a little bit of a relief,” Gamble said. “We were social distancing in two separate rooms for weeks before we went home just so people could have six to 10 feet between them. At one point, I asked a writer’s assistant to track how often ‘coronavirus’ was said—it was every two minutes. So at least if we went home, we’d be able to work.”

The work

Logistically, certain things have been trickier for TV writers in this shared Zoom existence. Larger writers’ rooms pushing 10 people or more may have difficulty translating into a single Zoom chat, where not talking over each other and reading the room become harder. So, You and Brooklyn Nine-Nine now opt to have multiple, smaller Zoom calls focused on more narrowly defined tasks, and only the showrunner will hop between conversations. That magic writers often like to refer to—the creative spark, the inner-staff interactions where a lunch convo might solve a plot problem later that afternoon—has also proven harder to recreate in these digital work spaces.

ATX TV Festival

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“It’s more efficient, but it is weird and less fun,” Goor said. “There’s less joking around. We did every possible Zoom joke we could do that first week—changed all the backgrounds, mine was my mom’s water colors. We did background videos of each other… so I guess we found new ways to waste time, now that I think about… But it’s nice to feel a reaction to a pitch, and it’s much harder to do that over Zoom. I find myself talking myself out of story ideas.”

Early on at least, Zoom has also surprised writers with a few positive benefits. In writers’ rooms where some staffers have been with a show much longer than others, Zoom may take away some unspoken hierarchical barriers and put everyone on equal footing. “There’s something democratizing about these squares that are always present and equally sized,” Goor said. “For new people, it might be easier to speak up now. ‘Oh, and April, what do you have to say about this?'” Zoom also inherently leads to less workday interruption: fewer bathroom breaks, less losing the room to endless joke-offs, and skipping longer lunch routines like the Brooklyn Nine-Nine staff’s elaborate Wheel of Fortune-style approach to selecting takeout.

But perhaps the biggest change? The pandemic has given everyone in the writers’ room a more holistic perspective on life—episode four of season whatever no longer gets to be anyone’s most important thing. Add it all up, and many writers now have a much more traditional work day.

“Comedy hours are usually bad, and they’ve become so much better,” Goor said, noting how he now typically works 10am to 12:30pm, takes lunch, and resumes from 1:30p to 5:30p. “Routinely for the first few seasons, we’d eat dinner [in the writers’ room] and be there till 8pm or 10pm or 11pm for a table read. We’ve adjusted. It’s partly because it’s impossible to look at Zoom for that long, but it’s partly so people can be with their families, be healthy, and experience life.”

Focusing at home versus when you’re physically in a space for a specific task can be a new challenge, but these TV writers continue to find approaches that work for individual groups. Hsu Taylor and the Nancy Drew staff start each session with a three-minute meditation to intentionally tell their minds that work time has begun. “I know some people are checking their email because I hear clicking,” she said. “But I think most like this. ‘OK, I’m doing this now.’ I’m telling my mind and body to be here for the next few hours.” And some former tasks that would force writers to split their attention now don’t exist, like having to be on set for script tweaks during an episode you may have written.

“With production being down,” Schwartz said, “you can really focus on the scripts instead of being all over the place.”

Welcome to the nerdiest, most-inside-baseball TV event this side of network upfronts. (Held in downtown Austin most years, like in 2017 when FX’s Fargo headlined)

Nathan Mattise

Years later, this ATX TV installation still represents the best use case we’ve seen for those ol’ B&W and tiny TVs.

Nathan Mattise

The end product

Whether good or bad, our new reality has absolutely already impacted what we’ll eventually see on screen. You, for instance, centers on a bookstore manager creepily obsessed with an aspiring young writer. To put it succinctly, the show frequently has characters at least kissing. But for the upcoming season three, that may be one aspect needing to change, no questions asked.

“We can’t put people in danger—TV shows aren’t worth that,” said Gamble. “So we’ll change what we can and keep an eye on the lines we don’t want to cross. We won’t do the show and have it be shitty because there was a pandemic. We’ll be measured and try to maintain the spirits of the show. But it’s a conversation, scene by scene by scene.”

The COVID-19 pandemic necessitates shifts in logistics, too. Where you can film and who can you film obviously feeds into what scenes a writing staff can write. The writers noted productions in Canada and New Zealand, like Nancy Drew and Sweet Tooth, will happen first since those countries have navigated COVID-19 better than the US. And with mandated quarantine for travelers to those places, local actors could have a leg up for roles, too.

For Goor and the Brooklyn Nine-Nine team, new logistical concerns start with babies. No explicit spoilers, but two characters had one last season, and the team suddenly has to look at animatronics and maybe less overall on-screen infant time (“There’s going to be a run on those bespoke fake babies,” Gamble joked).

“It’s hard, because we’re doing stories on the work-life balance for these people. This goes in so many different directions and we still don’t know where [the pandemic] is going, so it’s hard to write for it,” Goor said. “Is it safe to shoot outside? Originally, we wanted everything to be a bottle episode, so we can shoot on the stages, [and] it’ll be controlled. But now, is it better to do all exteriors? Because it seems like it’s healthier and safer for people. How many extras can you have? Can you use kids? And since there will be waves of productions, with movies and pilots starting, too, availability for guest cast will be a lot harder. Five-episode guest-star arcs are now harder.”

All these decisions ultimately bleed into the business of TV, too. For writers, maybe the option of participating in a writer’s room remotely suddenly becomes more commonplace, democratizing the career for people outside of NYC and LA (and those cities’ sky-high rents). And not having to commute regularly or be in one physical space would mean writers’ rooms could welcome writers with physical disabilities more easily, thus bringing wider perspectives to a host of shows.

“I think there’s a reason we do [in-person writers’ rooms], and it’s not just to spend studio money on all that rent—it’s good for creativity and production,” says Gamble. “But it will be easier to say, ‘We should just meet on Zoom on some days.’ And for the disabled community, if an agent were to call and pitch me somebody and explain why someone could rarely or never be on set, well, I know that works now. If this all leads to a crop of great writers breaking into the business, that excites me.”

ATX TV Festival 2020 continues to post its panels on YouTube throughout June (including a panel with the staff of The Mandalorian available this weekend). The entire discussion “Inside the Writers (Zoom) Room” is available below.

You can watch all of ATX TV’s “Inside the Writers (Zoom) Room” panel on-demand now.

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[womenofcolor15]

Engaged Jay Ellis Explains Why He Keeps His Relationship Low Key & How Fatherhood Is Kicking His Butt

In a candid interview with ESSENCE magazine, Jay Ellis opens up about his relationship with his fiancée Nina Senicar and how becoming a first time father while filming for "Insecure." Get it all inside...

          View this post on Instagram

                  @jayrellis is using self-isolation to recharge. After filming season four of @insecurehbo and taking on numerous other projects including helping his mother produce her very first show— the new dad has chosen to embrace the forced slow down. “When everything kind of hit, it was the first week this year that I had not been on a plane.” Tap the in our bio for more on our new digital cover. Writer: @joimariewrites Photographer: @jassieuo Stylist: @mrdoorsee Groomer: Jhizet Panosian/@ForwardArtists Set Designer: John Geary/Celestine Agency Creative Director: @nialawrence_nyc Social Media: @randa_writes

A post shared by ESSENCE (@essence) on Apr 16, 2020 at 6:29am PDT

  Being homebound is new for Jay Ellis.

The South Carolina native was super busy before outside got closed. After wrapping up filming the fourth season of “Insecure,” he teamed up with Tom Cruise to film Top Gun: Maverick, which was just pushed from its original June premiere date to one in December.

          View this post on Instagram

                  Every revolution has its roots. Meet the pioneers tonight. Me, the cast and the crew are hosting a virtual watch party and live tweeting the first episode tonight! 6pm PT. @mrsam_fxonhulu #MrsAmericaWatchParty #FXonHulu

A post shared by Jay Ellis (@jayrellis) on Apr 15, 2020 at 12:05pm PDT

  He then flexed his acting skills in “Mrs. America” (starring opposite Uzo Aduba), which is FX's Hulu miniseries that recently dropped. He portrays philanthropist Franklin A. Thomas, the real-life former Ford Foundation president and CEO. And because he’s a thoughtful son, he also helped his mother produce her very first show, "Behind Her Faith," on the Urban Movie Channel.

Now, he’s stuck in the house like the rest of us. Before we were placed on lockdown he posed it up for the digital cover of ESSENCE.

“When everything kind of hit,” he told ESSENCE, referencing the state-mandated lockdown in California due to the novel coronavirus, “it was the first week this year that I had not been on a plane.”

The first week he self-isolated himself away from his fiancée Nina Senicar and their 5-month-old daughter Nora Grace Ellis. You may not have known this, but he’s a new dad and he’s engaged! He purposely keeps his relationship low key. And here’s why:

“I have always been like, ‘Yo, my family is the one thing on this planet, when it's all said and done, if it goes away today or tomorrow, it's the only thing that I have that's mine…I never want my family to ever feel they had to sacrifice…I never want that dynamic to change because at the end of the day, as we're watching right now in this moment, stuff comes and goes fast...”

In previous interviews, the “Insecure” star said he's not talking about his Italian model fiancée (then-girlfriend) in interviews because “I keep my personal life personal. I keep things private."

Jay and Nina made their red carpet debut at amfAR's Inspiration Gala in October 2015. Before that, they were spotted together in Milan, Italy and L.A.

          View this post on Instagram

                  And just like that our lives got a whole new meaning. Welcome Nora Grace Ellis 8.11.2019.

A post shared by Nina Senicar (@ninasenicar) on Nov 12, 2019 at 9:01am PST

  Fast forward to August 2019 – they’re new parents! They’re daughter Nora was born August 11th. And fatherhood has been kicking his a**, but he’s LOVING every minute of it.

”You get tired and you break down. You need a nap, you might cry, want to be held, whatever it is. But mentally and physically, you're probably stronger than what you actually thought you were,” he said.

          View this post on Instagram

                  Got dressed up then drank too much... #merrychristmas #badsanta

A post shared by Jay Ellis (@jayrellis) on Dec 25, 2019 at 6:22pm PST

  “That's one of the biggest things that I took away from it: I can do this. This is going to hurt. My eyes are going to burn because I'm tired, but I can actually do it, and nothing has to suffer. I didn't want to not be there for my baby. I wanted as much chest-to-chest time as I could get. I wanted all the bottles. I wanted all the diapers.”

“I wanted all of that, and I wanted to make my episode the best it could possibly be,” the new dad continued.

Aww!

          View this post on Instagram

                  FIERCE FEMALEs

A post shared by Nina Senicar (@ninasenicar) on Nov 16, 2019 at 10:49am PST

  Being on “Insecure” has allowed him to add some credits to his resume. He mad his directorial debut on episode seven of the hit HBO series titled, “Lowkey Trippin’.”

Issa Rae – the show’s creator & main star – offered him the opportunity after he shadowed director Melina Matsoukas during season two’s finale.

“She’s like, ‘Clearly you have a point of view, so I am open to it, if you are open to it.'” He rose to the challenge. And it was challenging. “I had stunts in my episode. I had sex scenes in my episode. It was a lot, especially for a first-time director,” he said, noting he couldn’t have done it without his director of photography, Michelle Lawler (Twenties, Boomerang). “I felt so comfortable. I just felt I was where I was supposed to be.”

Looks like he found another love.

You can read his full interview here.

Congrats Jay!

Photos: Getty

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/04/16/engaged-jay-ellis-explains-why-he-keeps-his-relationship-low-key-how-fatherhood-is-kickin

[papermoonloveslucy]

LUCY AND HARRY’S TONSILS

S2;E5 ~ October 20, 1969

Directed by George Marshall ~ Written by Milt Josefsberg and Ray Singer

Synopsis

When Harry gets tonsillitis, he dreads going into the hospital and wants to recuperate at home. - until a sexy night nurse (Paula Stewart) comes on duty.

Regular Cast

Lucille Ball (Lucy Carter), Gale Gordon (Harrison Otis Carter), Lucie Arnaz (Kim Carter), Desi Arnaz Jr. (Craig Carter)

Guest Cast

Mary Wickes (Nurse Hurlow) was one of Lucille Ball’s closest friends and at one time, a neighbor. She made a memorable appearances on “I Love Lucy” as ballet mistress Madame Lamond in “The Ballet” (ILL S1;E19). In her initial “Lucy Show” appearances her characters name was Frances, but she then made four more as a variety of characters for a total of 8 episodes. This is the third of her 9 appearances on “Here’s Lucy.” Their final collaboration on screen was “Lucy Calls the President” in 1977. A wisecracking nurse is a familiar role to Wickes, who created the role of Nurse Preen on Broadway in 1939's The Man Who Came to Dinner and also did the 1942 film version (inset photo) and a 1972 TV adaptation.

The surname Hurlow was recently used as the name of the driving instructor (Jack Gilford) in “Lucy Helps Craig Get a Driver's License” (S1;E24), also written by Josefsberg and Singer.  

Jack Collins (Mr. Phillips) previously appeared in “Lucy's Impossible Mission” (S1;E6) as well as the final two episodes of “The Lucy Show.”  He played Russel Slater on “Dallas” from 1982 to 1987. This is the second of his six appearances on “Here’s Lucy.”

Adele Claire (Nurse Whitton) makes the first of her two appearances on the series. She will also be seen in “Lucy and Jim Bailey” (S5;E9).  

The character is never referred to by name in the dialogue.

Paula Stewart (Nurse Dean) appeared as Janie, Lucille Ball's sister, in the Broadway musical Wildcat (1960). It was the fourth of her six Broadway musicals between 1951 and 1965.  This is her only series television appearance opposite Lucille Ball. In 2017, she published a memoir titled Lucy Loved Me, about her friendship with Lucille Ball. 

This is the first multi-camera show with a studio audience of season 2, after the series' 4-part road trip shot on location.

This is the only time on “Here's Lucy” where Harry reveals his age, 51, although because Lucy and Nurse Hurlow both roll their eyes, he is probably lying.  In reality, Gale Gordon was 63.

The “Here's Lucy” crew played a prank on Gale Gordon. He expected the legs on the hospital bed to break, but instead the special effects crew rigged the bed to snap shut, forcing him to be folded in half. Although he masks his laughter, Gordon continued with the scene. Lucy and the kids look mildly amused for a moment.  

Both Kim and Craig mention that they have had their tonsils out. Tonsillitis can be more serious in adults than young people, so Harry is not completely off-base to be worried.  

Craig jokes that Uncle Harry is covered under Medicare. Medicare insurance was only a few years old at the time, having been signed into law by President Johnson in 1965.  Benefits were not available until a person was 65.  

Dr. Kurtzman is Harry's surgeon; Dr. Bodner is a psychiatrist Lucy telephones on his behalf. In real life, Dr. Sam Kurtzman was a comedy writer who worked with writer Milt Josefsberg for Bob Hope. Dr. Henry Bodner was the name of Josefsberg's urologist.  

Mr. Phillips is smoking a cigar in the hospital waiting room. Cigars were traditionally given to and smoked by new fathers. In 1991 the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (JCAHO) announced tobacco control standards for accredited American hospitals which mandated that they go smoke-free by the end of 1993.

In a brilliant scene of comic writing, Mr. Phillips thinks Harry is an expectant father and Harry thinks Mr. Phillips is there for a tonsillectomy.  They talk at cross purposes and confusion abounds!  

Lucille Ball loved charades and pantomime, so it makes sense that when Harry can't speak, he resorts to a bedside game of charades. Every “Lucy” sitcom has included this bit of comic fun – some more than once.

In "Lucy Plays Florence Nightingale” (TLS S2;E14) Mr. Mooney (Gale Gordon) was also the victim of Lucy and a tricky hospital bed.

Lucy also triggers a hospital bed to fold up with a patient (Jan Murray) inside it in “Lucy and the Soap Opera” (TLS S4;E19).

Harry acts like a bigger baby than Little Ricky when had his tonsils out in “Nursery School” (ILL S5;E9).

Harry is practically incoherent when giving the admitting nurse his information, just as Ricky Ricardo was in “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). Coincidentally, that episode aired the same day Desi Jr. was born!  

Expectant father Mr. Phillips (having his third child) is similar to the character of Mr. Stanley (who is having his ninth – all girls!), also seen in “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16).  Mr. Stanley was played by Charles Lane.  The scenes were inspired by one of Lucille Ball’s early films, Carnival (1935) starring Jimmy Durante.

GPS! Harry tells Nurse Hurlow his address as 4863 Valley Lawn Drive, which in future episodes Lucy will claim as her own address.

Allergy Season? Harry is supposedly allergic to flowers, but in a season one episode, Lucy brings flowers to the office to butter up Harry for a raise.  

Where The Floor Ends! When the camera pulls back in Harry's living room, viewers see where the wall to wall carpeting meets the concrete stage floor. This is a common era on all “Lucy” sitcoms.

Resume Trouble! Harry's will leaves Lucy 5,000 aspirin bottles she's caused him to empty over the past two years. At the start of the series, it was established that Lucy's worked for Harry for two years, then a few months later, it was said to be three, now it is back to two!

Capper! Nurse Dean wears a different style cap than the other two nurses, probably in order to appear more feminine and show off more of her sexy hairstyle.

Title Trouble! The title follows the usual “Lucy and ____” format, but in this case it sounds like both Lucy and Harry have tonsillitis.

“Lucy and Harry’s Tonsils” rates 3 Paper Hearts out of 5

This episode gives Gale Gordon a lot to do, with very little of it bluster. Some of it, however, is uncharacteristic of Harry Carter. Faced with having to have his tonsils out, he behaves as if it is a death sentence, complete with the reading of his will. Later, he appears to be sexually aroused by the night nurse, in a comic way, of course. The broad comedy here takes the sting out of the usually forbidden subject matter.  

[rose-red-ink]

New Perspective -- Panic! At the Disco

Constellations -- The Oh Hellos

Josslyn -- Chase Petra

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Rey's is my new favorite of these web weaves, sorry Kylo! Josslyn just screams Star Wars women to me, I'd do a full video edit to that song if I have the skills.

This is a Rey web weave for my fic, Force Mandated Bottle Episode, a rewrite of the sequels fic. It's pretty serious, despite having a crack name, so I should probably rename it, huh? 🤣

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Web Weaving

Finn Kylo Ren Poe Reylo