#For the longest time I thought Diomedes stabbed his own dad

[sarnai4]

Gifts

Hippolyta: Hey, happy birthday.

Diomedes (unhappily): Thanks.

Hippolyta: What's wrong?

Diomedes: It's Dad. You know how he always gives us gifts?

Hippolyta: Yeah?

Diomedes: Well...I don't want to hurt his feelings, but they're kind of terrible.

Hippolyta: I can't say I haven't noticed that.

Diomedes: What did he give you?

Hippolyta: This girdle. Most uncomfortable thing I own, but it gives me more strength to fight at least.

Diomedes: That's better than my gift. He gave me mares.

Hippolyta: That doesn't sound so bad-

Diomedes: That EAT people.

Hippolyta:...

(Someone starts singing "happy birthday to you")

Hippolyta: Better hope for something better this time.

Ares (grinning and gives both kids a hug): Happy birthday, Son! I got you something!

Diomedes (sheepishly accepts gift): What is it?

Ares (excited): See for yourself!

(Diomedes opens the box to find a head)

Ares: You can put that on a stake outside your kingdom. That way, you’ll scare off anyone who thinks they can try to invade. It doesn't even rot! You can have this forever.

Diomedes: Gee, thanks, Dad.

Ares: No problem! Only the best for my kids. There's a war going on right now, so I can't stay long, but I wanted to stop by. Love you both!

(Ares leaves and Hippolyta holds out her hands)

Hippolyta: Consider my gift to you disposing of that head.

Diomedes (hands it to her): Best gift I've ever gotten.