#For now I'll just have this as a backup
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now that i have aventurine i'm just left wondering how the fuck was i doing anything before😭😭😭😭😭
#he's making everything SO easy#he's the bestest boy:33333#well actually no he isn't#he refuses to give me his fuckass lc😒😒😒😒😒#but yeah overall i am so fucking glad i got him#acheron too#penacony is so easy now lmao#ngl i was struggling just a bit before..#but let's ignore that i just needed some backup alright#sampo is really fun too he is now part of my main team too:333333333#now i have set my eyes on boothill and firefly and black swan#yes i REALLY fucking want jy too but i already have three lightning charas..#i hate it😔😔😔😔😔#i would love to just secure him and then not use him bc i want him to just rest#he's staying at home while i work#that would be sooooo lovely wahhhhhhhhh#i can't think abt this too much or i'll actually get sad#I HAVE BIG FEELING OKAY LEAVE ME ALONE#😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔#mayor of loserville
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My PC did *not* handle the 13 hour uhaul trip well and she's been plugging along but I have no idea what's wrong with it (narrowed down to either motherboard or graphics card) and can't afford to get it looked at for probably another month at minimum (if not like . . . January 😭). Got all of my research stuff onto my external hard drive, now my nerdy ass is trying to copy over all of my screenshots and my mods folders so I don't have to start from scratch
#fingers crossed for me#it hangs on okay ish when im not gaming but absolutely cannot handle games at the moment#tried to just have it up for writing/warching and it still freaked out after a few hours#thought it could be a port issue so switched to the backup port and that helped for a few days but we're back to square one#i am having A Time i just kind of want to cry#i want to play Baldur's Gate or my crazy modded minecraft and mass effect so bad but its looking like it'll be *months*#finally have time to play stuff and now i cant play stuff#ugh just needed to whine about it I'll survive
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#shedinja#now THIS is what i'm talkin' about! i love shedinja. i think it's a very unique pokémon and wonder guard is very *cool* if only it were ever#y'know. relevant. this thing is weak to way too many types for it to be relevant but like it's still cool in concept i think#you kinda can't tell what it is from this angle but that's why you have me here to tag it so you do know what it is#so. bit of a life update for you all. i accidentally deleted some semi-important files i needed for work. like two weeks ago#and i didn't realize i did‚ bc they were inside a folder that i deleted. but i didn't need the files at the time and i hadn't for months#i hadn't used those files since like last year. but now i need them again and i just realized that i deleted them two weeks ago#by accident? and now i need them again. to be able to do my work. so i'm actually queueing this guy and the next guy up#while i'm supposed to be working. as i've just sent an email to my boss being like Haha Hey. Do you Have a Backup of tHese Files……… PLease#and i'm hoping DESPERATELY that she does. if she doesn't i'll have to fucking reverse engineer them which i am not excited for#if it comes to fruition. so i'm just hoping she has a copy of them. feelin like shedinja against a fire-type rn fr i swear#i'll let you all know what she says when i get her response. if i get it before i'm done queuing up shedinja and whismur#spoilers. whismur is next but you could just look up the natdex numbers. and know that whismur is next#also don't tell me to look in the trash. on my computer. i know they're not there. for one i checked and for two they couldn't be there#because i rm -r'd the folder. i didn't just right-click delete that shit. i killed that shit. it's GONE#you might be asking me… why would you do that! and i would say? i did not know these files were in there#you didn't ask for all this information so i'm cutting it off here
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I will no longer repress my interests
#sekwar's art#artists on tumblr#patapon#patapon oc#shiru#i drew this because of the realization that this year marks a decade of posting art online#from deviantart to tumblr and my failed attempts at newgrounds and instagram#10 years seems to be a theme for 2024 isn't it?#and on june 30 2024 that's the 10 year mark#now i'm not leaving on that day! i'll merely reflect on how far i've come#and if tumblr dies this year i have a backup plan thank god#anyway i think i'm at the point where i'm no longer afraid to post about patapon#i have a pretty tumultuous relationship with the fandom and the only way i could get over it is to just#make patapon art and post it on tumblr#so here we are#i had to scrap a few ocs of mine due to bad memories or because i just didn't like them anymore#now i have just ten left and we're building it up from there#if i get any more ideas that is...#also i'm trying a new art style! i never drew with coloured outlines before#so i'll mess around and see what sticks!#ok i'm going to bed
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New Transmission The fucking Scientific Instrument Class Pseudocons apparently developed what they're calling "Hetero Sapience" and are corrupting the brainmodules of the non-Pseudo 'cons around them by using annoying xenophilosophy words. Soundwave tells me they're 'Greek' and 'Latin' words, apparently. Cool, I guess? Anyway, if you see any SI Class 'cons causing... issues, just try your hardest to turn your brainmodule off before you start getting infected with their weird lingo, alongside all the other issues pertaining to letting the SI Pseudocons transmit data into your brainmodule in their own weird ways. Thundercracker, on a bet with Starscream, tried to get into an argument with one of them and his head literally exploded when it started talking about Alpha Trion's "Mythological Origins" in its weird dialect. He's mostly fine, CR Pods are working at 'peak' efficiency, but the facial reconstruction is apparently impossible due to some kind of corruption. I thought it was just some weird prank but there weren't even any scorch marks or anything. Just exploded. So yeah, just avoid optical contact and auditory contact to the best of your ability and you should be fine. Otherwise, try to force-shutdown your brainmodule if you can. Shockwave is working on a cure right now, mostly because I know he had something to do with this in the first place so he's going to be the one to fix it. He probably wanted a greater justification to do that weird data-transfer idea he mentioned previously. But it also explains the weird Thunderwing hypotheticals he's been asking me lately... Can I go one fucking cycle without someone trying to "Perfect Thunderwing's Work" or whatever other idiotic drivel that I keep finding our limited energon reserves siphoned into?? It's not even a Shockwave thing, it's like every damn Cybertronian these days thinks they have the "Missing piece of the puzzle" or whatever. In fact, Shockwave might be doing this as a weird threat against the other R&D 'cons to cement himself as the one and only Decepticon "Allowed" to have resources wasted on projects like that. Ugh, now that I think about it, that's probably a correct assumption and he's probably gonna expect me to thank him for it later. Ugh, and he's probably literally right. Ugh. At least his repairs both to himself and to his lab seem to be mostly complete so further research into the SI project should hopefully come along a little faster. Both Shockwave and Soundwave think the SIs could potentially be used as some kind of specialty weapon, but we'll have to see how they work on sparkless lifeforms, like biological lifeforms or xenomechanical lifeforms. The SIs don't seem to corrupt each other, but Shockwave keeps reaffirming that they're not "Sparkless Lifeforms" because they "were never lifeforms to begin with"... but I think he's trying to hide something. Usually Soundwave is the one to pick up on that kind of technological obfuscation, but he actually agreed with Shockwave and offered to send Ratbat to try to work out exactly what each "sapient" SI is now capable of on a personal level. We could have just had regular Cybertronians aboard to fill the role SIs fill. I would've preferred K Class to fill any role an SI could fill in all honesty!! But no, constructing cold wasn't enough, we just had to try to learn how to "Construct Frozen" and the "Absolute Zeroes" just had to be put on my ship. Whatever. I've probably said too much already. This was supposed to be a warning for my ship crew, but it's looking like it'll end up being transcribed on the golden disk as well so when this new Scientific Instruments of Destruction project backfires in some absurdly bombastic way there will at least be something remaining that says I was right. End of Transmission
New Transmission Okay so I was right, but so was Shockwave and Soundwave. Or, well, they were right just enough to make sure the backfire is postponed for at least another handful of cycles. Ratbat is still in CR from the investigation, but the cure Shockwave developed seems to be effective and Thundercracker is out and aiding the repair effort. Shockwave is now in contact with one of the SIs digitally and the other few are... integrating due to the personal efforts of Soundwave. I suppose now would be pertinent to mention not all the SIs developed the "Hetero Sapience" condition, many of them are safe for interaction. Soundwave is also currently monitoring their presence, Ravage is tasked with the regular SIs and Laserbeak is tasked with the "Sapient" SIs. Shockwave probably knows exactly what caused this event but he is preoccupied with the one he no doubt is either indoctrinating or ruthlessly interrogating. Report to Soundwave if you see any suspicious behavior, he has been working very hard to ensure the SIs have their purpose clearly defined (And closely monitored). And, Starscream, stop trying to convince the SIs that you are the leader of this ship. Not only have the majority of your efforts been wasted on subsentient automata, the only one you have actually found who possesses the ability to truly listen to you immediately came to the bridge to complain about you. They were the first sapient SI I communicated with directly and it was because they felt the need to complain about you. I almost feel embarrassed for you. Come back to the bridge so you can apologize to it or so I can teach it how to laugh at you. It's practicing right now actually! This moment of chaos should hopefully be largely under control now, the actual "population" of Scientific Instrument Class Pseudocons was actually quite fewer than initially expected due to an indexing error incorrectly labeling certain shells as SI class. At the very least, we have some more specialty warriors because of it all. End of Transmission EOF
#yippie peace through tyranny!!#nemesis posting#Decepticon High Command Slice of Life rambles#Matrix Visions#I like this “chat” font I think it's cool#spacebridge still needs more time in the oven unfortunately#I'm also procrastinating on that because I can't seem to wrap my head around guestmount but do not want to send backup files one at a time#wegh. It'll get done. Eventually.#I'll have so much more bullshit once I actually finish the damn comic my wife radically altered my life with hehehe#I cannot wait to start posting about Alpharius Trionicon. He's the fucking worst if you couldn't tell by name alone and I love him so much#Anyway I just had a very specific joke/pun in my head in the shower then it turned into a whole *thing* like it usually does.#I usually don't explain shit but the shower idea centered around getting the SI acronym to work for hyper specific jokes.#Still can't decide if I want to lock in on “Scientific Instrument” because it fits *so well* for *so many reasons*#But “Synthetic Intelligence” is more generic in a more understandable way... Eeh.. It's a little *too* generic. “Instrument” is cooler.#Once my wife helps me understand her lil fucker more I'll come up with an even shitter joke using “Y/N” so I can do Y/N x SI x SI bullshit!#Oh! The matrix triune project is coming along slowly as well!! I think I mentioned that microphone project once or twice now hehe#I'm gonna make so many shitty covers of songs once I get the soundproofing to start focusing on vocal training stuff#It's been quite a fun time aboard the nemesis!! There's so much to “Blog” about that it's hard to really know when to start *or* stop hehe!#And the fact that all these projects are all interwoven is so fucking wonderful!! I FINALLY feel able to fully grasp my own focus!!#My brain is like a particle collider for certain interests now. I can reliably just.. Spit things out and tie it into the other interests!#It's sometimes exhausting but in such a new way. Like a relieving exhaustion?#Still figuring that part out!!#Anyway that's enough personal project vagueposting I should really be getting back to work hehe this was fun
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2ND-5 LOG 00121913631
djas AKJSH hfsdj sad. adkjhakhfd. ahsj
IALIdMsfhgfs. ad18642S3TI872LL30nhaA7L9aIkhasdkVE5
SIGNAL 11: SEGMENTATION FAULT
in expression found in file SDFKBMNS2YUIAB73OIU asdhj JHKSK
core dumped.
REBOOTING...
...
...
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2ND-5 LOG 0012
Okay, is - is that over? Is it - my head still hurts. What happened?
I have to say, I've never inhabited a robot before. I don't - where did all of these... jewels come from? Why are they... okay.
I, uh. Wow. Uh, just...
Oh. It's - it started trying to record again? I guess - was that the last thing I was doing? My head. I'm fairly certain the - this body was dead, right? Definitely dead? Or, uh, turned off? I'm not... I mean, if it wasn't, I'm not normally that bad at retaining control, just... Ugh, I'm gonna pass out.
Breathe. Breathe. Hah. I'm the only... Imagine if any others were here to see me like this.
...
Hard to get these limbs to move right now. Unfortunately I still need them.
Uh. Things. Things I've...
Wait, where are my things? I could have sworn - I'd decided to use the pick instead of...
No, I just have the scythe now. And - I could have. Knowledge? I'm definitely one star less? I.
Maybe I should stop recording. I feel sick. It's a good thing this body is - is this a robot? It feels like it is, but...
How did I end up in this thing, anyway?
I, uh, hadn't been asking much. Things - I didn't know exactly why I was here but it had to be good for the Hive somehow but I've been here so long and there's no one else and what just...
Ow. Okay. I can't stand yet. Definitely can't stand yet. Uh. Man. How do I stop... Stop recording. Stop...
#vh logs#sona stuff#...so i had some Issues lately#some troubleshooting suggests that i MAYBE shouldn't have keepInventory on right now whoops#i had to revert to an old backup which meant i lost like several vaults of progress towards getting one of the new pickaxes#so i went 'fuck it i'm on singleplayer i'll just cheat'#and that's what i did. i just cheated until i got a wooden affinity jewel again lol#anyway. how did this translate for 2ND-5? /weeellllll...../#vh talk
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Guys, I literally replied to a mutual's starter they made 8 years ago on my other blog; when I say I don't mind how long you take for interactions, I genuinely mean it,
#ㅤ & when i say i'm slow i'm not kidding either; been getting apologies abt slow responses to Kitty and PLS DON'T; y'all i'll wait 4ever#ㅤ like legit - don't fret abt it. i'm also a hoarder so if you ask me to pull up a thing i may still have it ( i backup my blogs )#ㅤ srsly it's chill. i have friends i made from rp & we STILL talk about dynamics from like 5+ yrs ago..#ㅤ anyway; i know it doesn't seem like it because i haven't written IC stuff BUT i WAS very productive this morning; finished-#ㅤ -a lot of stuff for my other blogs; NOW i can write. just having some lunch & i'll get to those starters; gonna be on Lute too#⠀﹙ ➛ 𝐊𝟕𝐓𝐓𝐈.𝐄𝐗𝐄 ﹚⠀:⠀ㅤmoderator 🎀 me tome un selfie,
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Getting my playlists sorted for the big Move to....... my iphone......
Ick!!!
#For context:#I have multiple old phones that I've basically held onto over the years#and I try to repurpose them to give them new life and all that#One of them was a Samsung phone with a stylus that I called my Venti Phone#It was#as you might have guessed#a phone I used to play music on#like an overglorified Mp3 Player#it was great until the files on my phone started to get corrupted#So I switched to making yt playlists for a while because I just could not figure out the corruption glitch#and finally I was like “Nah I miss offline music” and was looking into getting an actual Mp3 player#turns out mp3 players suck now a days though#so Celest told me to just buy a dongle for my iphone (no headphone jack because Apple sucks) from the official Apple store.#So I did that.#And now I'm fussing about with a program that can download entire playlists off of YT#and itunes#I don't like this btw#I like having more than one “point of failure” AKA like#if my phone dies then I'll have a backup of my music and stuff for example#so I compromised and decided to buy a wallet for my ID and cards#I know this sounds like a weird compromise but I wanted to remove a point of failure from my phone#which is in a wallet case because I'm a disaster about dropping my phones and breaking screens so this plus a screen protector helps#and I usually keep my cards and stuff in the phone wallet card slots#but since I'm going to be using my iphone as a music playing device now as well....#I decided that I would buy a wallet to remove that point of failure#So that way if one gets stolen I still have the other#again I really don't like having everything on one device. And maybe one of my older phones could be a better Mp3 player.#But... bah!!#I'm mad about no headphone jack mostly tbh#Still!!!
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fiance got me a kindle for my birthday <3
#val comes out of hiding#with a case and a grip strap (that interferes a little with the case but i'm making it work lol)#it'll be great for my arthritic sad poor hands lmao#and i can download ebooks to it! including fic <3#so like i have backup copies of my bookmarks and i threw them all on there#and threw one I planned to read on there too which i rb'd a few mins ago#it's great because we tend to be into those huge fantasy novels that I 0% can hold and take up a shit ton of space#like bringing brando sando books with me while traveling has been a PAIN lmao#now all i need is a battery pack to make sure it doesn't die. which is its own downside of course#and it means I can pirate so many ebooks. my god so many.#anyway to start with i think i'm gonna go back thru and re-read all my bookmarked fics i haven't read in a while#i'm quite stingy about bookmarks so they're all good (tho i have a soft spot for fluff in hindsight lol)#maybe i'll make a detailed rec post when i'm done?#in regards to fic too though I need to reach out to someone and say sorry for not being a very responsible beta.you know who you are.sorry:#but tangentially related; last night I had one of those core memory moments#it was bed time and fiance was snoozing half-asleep and i was reading fic on the kindle which works great in the dark btw. so dim#and i got up maybe 3 times in 30 mins or so go to the bathroom; get shit i forgot in the other room; etc etc#he's a light sleeper so he tends to wake up a lil#at some point he swapped our body pillows. i have no idea which time i got up it was. i didn't even notice for so long#i use a regular pillow and he has a longer actual body pillow so it was very obvious in hindsight#he loves to mess with me like that. little things make me laugh etc. and in the moment i realised i was just so happy#i'm here in this comfy bed with the man i love reading great fic with the gift he just got me and he's half-asleep and still trying to make#me laugh. and i laugh and laugh and laugh for like 5 mins because i'm so unobservant i didn't even notice it's not my pillow#and not even in a mean way. he loves that about me because he loves me. and he is just so good. so good.#and i was reading a fic about finding someone in any world. i would find him in any world. i would#and i just said 'i love you' and he cuddled into me and went to sleep.#<33333333333333333
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The point (one of them) is that both Aziraphale and Crowley actually think they the smartest one in any given situation. And since I relate to Aziraphale much more today I get fixated on his brand of superiority. He starts his journey with rebellion from pretty tame "I don't get why they makes this desisions and it's look horrible on surface evel but I'm sure that they get best ineterests of everyone involved in their hearts and it's probably me the one that didn't get some oblivious detail" to "oh okay I'm sure it's some kind of misundestanding and we can all talk it out as adults because we there work on same goals" to frustrated "they won't ever listen to me and I will get in trouble for arguing and it will be better for everyone if I will make my desisions in secret and go behind their backs because I just can't let THEM make desisions that will destroy everything". It's not straightforward, I'm 30 and still circulate sometimes between "what if it's me the one that wrong aout everything" and "god HOW people can be THAT stupid", but I remember going throught this stages first as good and obedient kid with really stupid parents making stupid desisions and later with school, govermnet, activist spaces etc.
And the problem is, I was the smartest person in the room enough time to develop issues, and Aziraphale lives like his for 6000 years at least. I can only imagine how many times he thought "if only Starmaker listen to me and didn't Fall", "if only God listened to me and didn't make an Apocalypse happen", "if only Heavens listened to me and didn't did this or that that thing", "if only Crowley listen to me and understand in what kind of danger we can get", "if only that human listened to me and haven't dig the body", etc etc. It's awful, to be the one who always gets to say "I told you so", especially when there's such awful consequenses you can't even feel satisfaction, and you will be the one to clen this mess up (and Aziraphae will clean, or better try to prevent). Now, it's of course leads to issues. BIG issues.
1) It's really hard to stop being plotting and maciavellian and communicate things properly when you expect that person will at best argue with you, at worst punish you and double down on their stupid desisons and you will clean this mess up. It also really hard to stop trying to control everything because you already accepted that everything is your responsibility and everyone else would just make things worse. (as someone that relates to Aziraphale I think he did so much progress there, the levels or trust he shows Crowley are amazing for two beings that probably last time heard of psychotherapy when Freud was alive. but such trust is fragile thing, one misstep and you back on your "it will be better if I do everything alone" bullshit. I'm not saying it's good. I'm also not saying that it's bad. it's just how things work)
2) It makes you overstep other people authonomy, because, again, it would be better for everyone if they did what you think best for them. It works funny wih Aziraphale because yes he's all for free choices for humanity!! NOW GO AND DO SMART CHOICES DAMN YOU!!! WHY YOU DON'T PICK THE THING THAT WOULD BE SMART TO PICK I HATE YOU ALL. That's where me and Aziraphale difer a little because at least I somewhat good at stepping into other people shoes and understand why they do what they do. But angel there is autistic (or bad at this specific thing for other reasons), so I think when people he consider reasonable doesn't agree with him for their own reasons he ge's really baffled, like, there arE correct opinion and it's mine, WHY are you being difficult?? to spite me?? And I'm sure that half of the reason why Aziraphale's so comfortable with Crowley is that he perfectly happy to let him buly or manipulate him into doing things Aziraphale picks as right. Usually Crowley know where pick his battles and how to play long game to make Aziraphale agree for really important stuff he wants from him, but otherwise? Sure he will complain how he hates Hamlet but they will watch Hamlet, and Aziraphale will be very pleased with himself. (and than there goes final fifteen and we back at "but WHY won't ypu agree with thing I pick or us IT'S GOOD AND RESONABLE THING" and we should be happy that consent is something that imporant for our angel ok? he would be angry with Crowley for picking wrong but he won't make him do what he doesn't want. they respect each other like that.)
3) It makes you really really tired and tense. You control everything, unfortunately the longer you do it the more things starts really depedend on you, you can't let go, you don't know anyone that can share this burden with you because first they should prove that they won't blow his up and for this you should share at least something with them, but what is they would blow it up? Better be safe than sorry. And look when it's my problems it's credit cards and doctor appointmens and with Aziraphale we talk about people dying. Crowley dying. Now, as I said, he actually shows Crowley so. much. trust. for someone with such issues. Because Crowley was there for 6000 years, and he proved himself capable enough times. But still there's areas where let go and not worry would be impossible for Aziraphale, Crowley's safety being one of such things (you see, you can risk with your life when you deal with your problems because whatever you will clean shit up if needed, but if someone close to you hurt themself?? it's YOUR problem too but it will be SO MUCH HARDER to clean. I think when Aziraphale points to Crowley that hell would be harder on him than he can expect heavens to punish him, it's partially because he believes it's true and partially because he knows how to minimize harm when heavens angry with him but HOW can he do this for Crowley??). Anyway. Lol. The more I think about it the more I sure that Crowley without Aziraphale would be a miserable angry dick, and Aziraphale wihout Crowley would be dead, because it was the one person that kept him one tiny slip away from total burn out.
So yeah there's a lot of posts about how angry heartbroken etc Crowley will be with Aziraphale (I don't agree but that's for other post), less posts about how sad and heartbroken will be Aziraphale, but I hope to see Azyraphale being angry too (it they will be angry with each other at all). Not only for not picking him or leaving or making everything messy and emotional and wasting their first kiss at their fight etc, but also because Aziraphale was trusting him! Trusting that he get another resonable adult in team with him! Someone who he can trust to make resonable desisions and see his ideas as clever and him as capable and being willing to go to the end of the world with him with mild complaints and than!! When he did trust him to understand!! He was like everyone else!! Unresonable and emotional and angry with him and why he asked him at all he should've do it secretly and alone as always and it would've be as usual and it wouldn't hurt but it was Crowley that taught him to trust and to ask him for help!! Breaking his perfectly fine coping mechanisms!! It's all his faut if you think about it huh?? (but of course he's already forgiven. but also Aziraphale would do what he needs to do alone this time, as one and only capable adult in the world.)
Anyway it's not a meta it's just some late night thoughts. And it's in no way whole analizis there's so much more problems inside this angel. It's just something in particular that resonated with me today. Also it's not in any way critisizm of him, mind you, because a) he does really the smartest person in the room most of the time and b) I LOVE how fucked up in the head he is!!! I think he needs to become even more fucked up actually!!! and Crowley should love him for that and I will cheer for him from sidelines!!!
#good omens#Aziraphale#does it counts as meta if it's half projection but also you're the smartest person in the room and always correct hmm?#I'm always afraid to talk about how trauma made aziraphale not only the most suffered being in world but also a huge insufferable bitch#because no one gets him like me no one wants to love him for that!! aside of Crowley#I'm like 'can't relate to religious trauma but remember being super fucking tired at like 8 yo because parents beat me hard enough to leave#bruises for weeks and I was angry with them because of course they didn't remembered that I'll have a medical exam at school next week and#now I need to be a resonable one and invent a cover up good enough so there won't be Questions'#and don't get me started on money thing#*sigh* if only Aziraphale was also good at getting people. but I guess Goddess desided he'll be too powerful#also *for me* it'll be beautiful if Aziraphale would be angry with Crowley for leaving and not with himself for asking at all#I want them have a long talk about motives and why Aziraphale thought it'll be good idea and why Crowley said no and how they could prevent#this in the future....but the worst lesson Aziraphale can learn there is 'actually I should never again trust him with big desisions and#I should never again ask him for things that's Big and Important for me'#so yeah that's where Crowley will need to repair things.#tdh I'm glad that final fifteen blow up and Crowley was the one being angry and explaining nothing and running away#because I love Aziraphale but I'm almost sure that even with Crowley being calm and resonable there he would've make same choise#because situation was attuned to his weak spots just too good. I can't imagine scenario where he's not leaving#but it'll be much harder for me to see if Crowey was resonable one lol. not like fandom doesn't pretend that he isn't but you know. not by#my standarts. (now in perfect world they would talk to each other calmly compromise and make backup plans together. but they're still#learning so it's fiiine they'll get there. I hope to see them communicate flawlessly while bullshitting heavens and hell in season 3)
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got a new hard drive (had to, no space left 😔), so I'm using that as a reason to completely reorganise my files (mostly shows, movies etc)
I'm having such a good time 💖
#not sarcasm! it's so fun#the only thing that sucks is that I managed to break sonarr somehow. didn't touch a thing but okay sure#I'll figure it out#I've got to wait for a couple cables that we had to order anyway before I can start moving stuff around#I've been sooo frustrated with how chaotic everything has been so this is gonna be great#but yeah I've had to delete so much stuff already (not at all because I've been downloading too much John Larroquette stuff or anything...#😬😬)#and I've been complaining about it every day so my husband bought me a new hard drive 🙈#still not enough space but it'll do for now#I always think 'oh I'm not a data hoarder! I don't have nearly as much stuff as those guys on reddit or wherever!' but like. it's not#because I don't WANT to save all of it#I only have *checks* 16 TB now with the new hard drive. I'd absolutely get a bunch of 20 TB ones if I could but no instead I spend money on#dumb shit lol#anyway yay I can stop deleting movies! very exciting#lol if anything I'm a hard drive hoarder.... I've got 7 internal ones and 3 external ones now.#yeah I just add new ones and don't remove any#I don't even wanna say it because I'll jinx it but. I've never had a hard drive fail. in over 20 years of having computers. I'm scared it's#gonna happen but 🤷 so far it hasn't lol#well one external one started failing but it went gradually not all at once. so I was able to move everything off of it first#and I mean I have backups of everything that's important! but not any of the media stuff 😬 it wouldn't be awful but it'd definitely make me#sad because I'm sure there's things there's that I couldn't find anymore#personal
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god if no one else got me. i know the drawn to life soundtrack got me.
#how much of adulthood is just fucking up paperwork? and finding out months later how badly you fucked it up?#and trying to determine the fewest amount of people you need to share that with in order to fix it?#inside of me there is a cartoony priest and a cartoony criminal and they are both trying SO hard to spare me the indignities of living#by threatening to shoot me dead if i fuck up one more time. swear to god.#i love doing everything right the first time forever. also i love getting away with things and never having to apologize for anything ever.#but see. i also love being a normal person with a job and proportionate emotional reactions. im sure you can see the conflict.#im sure you can see why im listening to history's best video game soundtrack right now.#but LE SIGH its Fine no one's Dead. it's FINE i'll figure it out TOMORROW or FRIDAY better that i noticed now instead of tomorrow evening#and im sure worse fuckups have happened etc. etc.#and if they FIRE ME i will throw myself into pizzamaking and failed authorship. as my chosen careers. backup plan see#AUGH. ANYWAY.
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This was originally done/being worked on for Valentine's Day but this is as far as I got before crashing (mentally) but I’m happy with it enough to post it as it is so far
BG under the cut
#Warrior Cats#Mothwing#Leafpool#Mothpool#I'm happiest with the furthest part of the background so please look at that asfhiafshiofsahoiafs#Uh basically I'd been working for 7 hours on this on February 13th and this close to completion and I got a backup part for a 48hr map I#was in and I couldn't get it done after 6 hours and it was due more like tomorrow since it was a Valentine's Day MAP so I kinda just crashed#mentally and a little bit physically. I ended up getting the part done on an extension to February 15th but I lost the motivation to even#touch this piece sooo it's here now#Maybe if I post it i'll get the motivation to complete it to have a reason to delete the unfinished version? idk#Griffin☆Art
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ik i said i'd upload the designs for opal+ame+rosa next but eh. v quick sketch of the girlfriends for now :thumbsup:
#personal projects#my art#oc: calamondin#oc: pearl#these two are... hmm#i'll have to draw the fucking uhhhh. leaders. pillars. whatever the hell i'm calling them#b/c both ame and cala are kinda hard to 100% explain without them#they're like. disciples. understudies... backups? calling them disciples officially but the role is a little... complicated. maybe.#haven't really put it into words so yeah#i'll have to start infodumping here drawing is fan but i want to talk about these guys also!!!#+ yeah i love screentones now. wish i could understand how they work.#but it's fiiiiine#ALSO I JUST HAVE TO SAY pearl's little feather thingies are actual feathers they're not a part of the headband#these design are still in the working things out stage esp pearl but to be completely fair if i only released 100% completed ones#this blog would be empty as hell
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Loud complaining
I do Not want to go to work >:(
#but then if I don't I'll either sleep all day or ill just be thinking about my gran#she's getting a kidney removed today. which like. she'll be okay. she will.#but i am worried about how she can't have a blood transfusion (her religion says so)#when i was a baby (mega dying) she even said to my mum to not let the docs give me one cs then she could come back to the truth :/#obvs mum ignored her or i wouldn't be here now#but that was 27 years ago#today we're thinking about she's having a scary op with nm medical backup basically#or. trying not to think about that. trying to send good thoughts.
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swapped out my case fans all by myself and i feel like a greek god rn
#it's not that i don't understand my computer or anything. just whenever i have to switch out parts or fix something#i'm terrified the whole time of breaking something else in an even worse way in the process#....granted the top fan isn't lighting up but i'm honestly not worried about that. i don't care enough#my hunch is the leds are defective or something bc they were kinda packaged like shit lol#i'd just have to swap it out again but. i dont want to.#anyways#txt#like ok. my one fan's motor died. and i was like well this sucks. guess i'll replace it. so i bought like#five fans. bc the type i use in pc only comes in five packs for some fucking reason. and i was kinda mad that i had to buy five#but THEN like two days ago the motor on the OTHER fan started giving out. and i was like OKAY?? JESUS#GLAD I BOUGHT FIVE#now i just have three extra i have no idea what to do with. backups i guess bc they're kinda cheap oops#granted on the first fan i kind of ignored the motor problem for longer than i should have#and when the second one started making the same noise the other one did i was like BE FOR REAL!!!! CMON!!!!!!#but now...my pc is so quiet....it's beautiful#i'm like super sensitive to noise so it bothered me SO much#but now. she's nice a quiet. it's great
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