#For me it's about a failed possibly even abusive relationship which you put your whole faith into
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fishedeyelenz · 4 days ago
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People talk about the death of media literacy like it's something new but people have been using Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen as a wedding/funeral/CHURCH song for decades 😰
#she tied you to a kitchen chair she broke your throne she cut your hair#And from your lips she drew the hallelujah#remember when I moved in you and the holy dove was moving too and every breath we drew#Was hallelujah#For weddings I guess it's less egregious but idk how you listen to that and think it's an affirming song about love#As a church song... Idk I guess most Christians never had good sex or something#Cause how can you hear the lyrics#And the lyrics and not know exactly what hour if the day it is#I also heard that a lot of the times in churches they use a version where it goes#“I KNOW there's a god above” no ya don't. It goes “maybe there's a god above”#The vulnerability and uncertainty of love and loss and devotion and regret all encapsulated in that lyric#To me#For me it's about a failed possibly even abusive relationship which you put your whole faith into#Interspersed by sex and kinky scenes#And finding your faith again after such events#The sex isn't something that takes away from the affirmation of faith it is an aspect of finding divinity in the regular#Signs of god in the mundane#But idk this is coming from an agonistic with no kind of spiritual knowledge or education#Tell me what's your opinion#My ultimate opinion is that the song gets so much airtime in choirs in churches is because the repeating hallelujah#And nobody bothered to think deeper about the lyrics#Except for “maybe there's a god above” THEY HAD TO CHSNGE THAT#abd that's what ultimately affirms to me that whoever made the change wasn't interacting with the song in a genuine way#To analyze it for what it's giving and saying into the world.#No it's just “hallelujah hallelujah”#-.-#The tags god mixed up 😭😭😭 whatever I still think my point is relatively understandable
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carpentvrs · 7 months ago
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The End — Mattheo Riddle
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pairing :: mattheo riddle x reader
summary :: all things must come to an end, right?
based on the song the end by tom odell
warnings :: cursing (like one or two times), (mentions of) addiction & substance abuse & a toxic household, angst!! no use of y/n, tom‘s mattheo‘s brother, after hogwarts au, voldy doesn’t exist
a/n :: very angsty but i hope you like it anyway! again, english isn’t my native language so please don’t mind any mistakes. if requested, I’m up for a part two! biggest thank you to alex for helping me write <33 rebolgs are very appreciated
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some things begin with the knowledge of them having an end. like watching a movie or reading a book, like going on a walk or on vacation. soon enough you will turn off the tv, close the book, return home, and tell your friends all about your summer days. if the movie is bad, you know it won’t go on forever. one more hour and you can walk out the cinema. if the book is good, you can reread it sometime, if it’s bad, close it. you can always or never again go on walks and if you don’t or do enjoy your summer trip, you know you’ll come back home either way. So many different possibilities, always the same fate. It has to end one day.
a relationship isn’t like that. it can either go on forever, until both lovers fall into the nothingness, trying to find each other even in the afterlife, hand in hand in every universe.
or it’ll end. in a peaceful or in a painful way. it ends with ’ i don’t think we want the same things for our future ‘ or with infidelity. it ends with different beliefs or with different lovers. it ends with one trying and the other giving up, it ends with one failing and the other failing to help.
mattheo riddle feels as though you two are growing apart, your usually interlocked fingers slipping through each others, no one reaching to strengthen the hold. he knows it’s his fault, he puts you through things you shouldn’t have to go through. he tries to get clean, but both of you know that with him, it’s always one wobbly step forward and three steady ones back. he tries nonetheless.
“uhm, hey, can we talk, maybe? go for a walk in the park if you’d like?”
you know what he wants to talk about. you hadn’t seen each other in a while, despite being in a relationship – if you could still call it that. not seeing each other for a month, that’s not usual, right? at least it shouldn’t be. you know it and he knows it, there’s no denying. at least you agreed to meet up now.
he puts on his leather jacket and grabs his keychain, the rattling sound of his keys and the many key rings and charms colliding together reminding him of your promise. if you make it through to next month, i’ll craft you another key ring. try for me, love. please. you did it just as a little reminder that you do care. but he’s never managed a whole month before. maybe the bottle opener attached to the key chain was a bigger reminder that eventually, one beer wouldn’t hurt him. or two.
you made key rings and charms for almost everyone. all your friends have them and your family does too. wether its an initial of their name or of their partner‘s name, a symbol or whatever else they wished for, you made it for them. and everyone loves them. so does mattheo, you thought. or did. otherwise he’d surely make more effort to treat them with care and most of them wouldn’t have scrapes and scratches all over them, and there wouldn’t be a crack in your initial either, which, to no one’s surprise, was another result of one-too-many drunken nights.
he wants to make things right, and he’s certain it’s gonna work. spending time together in the park you went to after your first date sounds nice, doesn’t it?
your first official date was in a small pub, a few months after your joint time in Hogwarts had ended. you still remember walking through the rose garden in the north side of that park after that date. the sky was painted in a velvety black, the sun‘s final farewell long forgotten and the gates were already shut. but you managed to sneak in anyway. he picked a rose for you and you appreciated the gesture more than anything, soon enough you and him both had a little rose charm attached to your keychains. he lost his, you still have yours.
looking at it now, you should’ve realized then that the way he stumbled on the way back home was already a warning sign that he didn’t hold back when alcohol was involved. And if he couldn’t keep it together on a first date, then why would he around friends? Why would he around his family, why would he around yours? And why would he not use it as a way to calm his nerves whenever life gets serious when he so obviously already did that for nothing more than a harmless first date with a person he’s known for almost longer than he’s not?
you know most of his problems go way back. they come from his father’s unloving and cold gaze and his mother’s absence whenever his father lifted his finger. as if that wasn’t enough, his brother tom would always be in the spotlight, while mattheo was kept hidden away in the shadows. if that’s how he felt, no wonder he had to find a way to forget all about it.
you tried to help. you always did.
but how were you supposed to help someone who didn’t want help himself? drugs surely aren’t the only way out. self control is a term long forgotten in mattheo‘s mind, and it was solely on him to change that.
hence you’re not as certain as him that this talk is going to help. mattheo has made too many empty promises, told too many lies and had too many accidents. sometimes even unforgivable ones. the hand that rested on that red haired girl’s lower back every time you’d meet up with your friends, that couldn’t just be a mistake. you’d love to know what he whispered in her ear whenever he had too much to drink, and you crave to know her replies, considering the relationship between you and mattheo wasn’t ever a secret. at least you didn’t make it one.
he’s already sitting on a bench in the park, carefully petting a dog that was busy sniffing the ground beneath him. mattheo sees you and immediately stands up to make his way over to you, leaving the dog behind to run back to its owner.
“they kinda look alike, don’t they?”
“who?”
“that dog and its owner, same eye and hair colour”
you smile slightly and look up at mattheo. your good looking, sweet and romantic matty. you used to be so deeply in love, one look at him and you were on cloud nine, swooning and giggling with nothing but pure adoration and love in your eyes. your little dates used to be fun, with deep conversation and lighthearted gossip sessions with moments of comforting silence filling the spaces in between.
and now? meaningless topics and useless small talk. Just the same as your last few meetups one month ago. It was more of a chore than it was enjoyable. some time has passed, the birds loudly chirping while you and him walked with slow steps, his hands buried in the pockets of his jacket, yours swinging slowly on either side of your body.
„i’ve been clean for almost three weeks now, actually. 20 days.“
your eyes widened and your head quickly turns to look at him. you’re happy for him, you truly are. but your heart still doesn’t feel as full as it usually would with mattheo, and if he managed to keep that 20 day streak during a whole month of almost no contact between you two, then he would manage it also when you’re not with him anymore. right?
„oh, that’s great! ‘m proud of you, mattheo,“
„you don’t sound as happy as I expected,“ he begins, „is something wrong?“
at that moment he knows he has to claw back his confidence. maybe you had already given up, and he just didn’t want to believe it. he know you well, without a doubt. it was the lack of his nickname that gave it away. your loving ‚ matty ‘ was replaced by a simple ‚ mattheo ‘ , no nickname, no pet name. 20 days, for him, is a long time. why aren’t you half as happy as when he told you about his one week achievement 2 months ago? is it because just a day after telling you about it, you found him asleep on his couch with a half empty whiskey bottle on the table in front of him?
„no- i mean, yes, actually. it’s just-“ you stumbled over your words. you don’t want to have to say it, don’t want to say it loud, don’t want to see his pained reaction and, most importantly, you don’t want to be the cause of it. but you know you can’t keep going like this, you had lost hope a while ago, and this is the only way out.
„do you think we can be friends?“
he blinks. „what?“
your voice is shakier than ever. „friends, mattheo. i can’t keep going like this. i want to break up, once and for all. our relationship has been going downhill for too long now, you know that.“ your eyes are fixated on your shoes, not daring to look him in his eyes.
he swears he can he hear his heart being shattered and torn apart and feels how a part of his soul is leaving his body, leaving the rest to grow tired and dark and empty. tears slowly fill his eyes as he reaches for your hands, making you look at him.
you do, but quickly pull your arms back. „you can’t do this to me! i- i need you, i can’t do this without you, i can’t!“ warm tears roll down your face, and you want to hug him so bad. keep his body close to yours and not let go.
but you have to let go.
mattheo hates it. but if being friends with you means he doesn’t lose you completely, then maybe it’ll be okay. and if he really loved you, and you really loved him, then maybe, if he gets better, you’d come back. he hopes.
„and if i change?“
„maybe, matty- mattheo,“ your voice trembles „but i need to be sure you don’t hurt either of us for now. i need time, but i don’t want to lose you. friends mattheo, please?“
„you wanna be friends? after all thi-“
„mattheo i‘m begging you“
he pinches his nose, tears streaming down his face. this is his fault. of course it is. this is the consequence he has to deal with. He should’ve realized sooner that his alcohol consumption wasn’t only his, but also the problem of the people around him. and now he loses you just because of his reckless and stupid behavior. he has to change. he needs to.
„alright! fuck, alright. friends. i‘ll make it better, i swear. i won’t disappoint you, not again.“
you nod, mustering up a smile as well as you could. you hug him one last time, feeling his hand wrap around you body with a tight hold on your shirt. you feel his tears falling onto your shirt, and he feels yours.
he hates it, but maybe he needs this wake-up call. he will change. 20 days and many more to come, he won’t go back. and he’ll do it for you.
the sun slowly sets and you’ve reached the same rose garden you’d come to after your first date. the memories flood back but it’s no use.
mattheo and you, you’ve now reached the end.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
it wasn’t until two days later that you went to the same park again with your best friend alex. „isn’t that mattheo over there?“
your heart paused for a second as you looked over and saw the boys with beer bottles in their hands. draco took a sip as theo had already downed almost half oh his beer in one swig.
you felt your heart break thinking about how mattheo already started drinking again after only two days. until you actually looked at his hands, finding nothing but a simple can of coke.
you left out a sigh of relief, smiling to yourself.
your eyes locked and he smiled back at you, even his eyes seemingly lighting up. you blushed slightly, turning you head back to alex. 22 days wasn’t a lot, but it was great starting point. especially for him.
„yeah, that’s my matty.“
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hope you liked it! requests are open <3
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xbalayage · 1 year ago
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I WILL GO ON A WHOLE RANT ABOUT SILVIO.
Yes, he's an asshole at first, but if you give his route a chance, you see underneath all that hard exterior and everything that led for him to act and be that way in the first place. He isn't actually like that at all inside!! He cares so much and so fucking deeply; someone who actually hates his brother wouldn't have looked for him non-stop for three years. Or have gotten him matching gold earrings that Rio and him both still wear!! They have a 'I hate your guts, but I'd do anything for you' relationship. They're brothers. He was abused by the king several times physically and literally tortured and the queen both mentally and physically fucked up his views on things. Rio's mother was the only one that showed him love and understanding and even tried protecting Rio and his mother. He had to provide for himself when he was a KID. He didn't even get to have a childhood! Their brother is a psychopath who tried killing Rio and putting the blame on Silvio which the king's dumb ass believed! Because he hates Silvio! And through his route, he goes through such character development. Even to the point he finally decides to open up and be vulnerable with MC. He knew from the beginning that she was Belle and yet, still protected her and went through extra tribulations just to protect her. He actually doesn't even care for the glitz and glam! He wears all the fancy shit he does because it shows his wealth and power to other people so nobody fucks with him! This boy has gone so long without physical touch and someone who actually wants to see good for him that he pushes any and everybody away, for their sake! He says the opposite of what he means! He uses excuses to make up for his actions. Yes, he blamed Rio a lot through his route and pinned it all on that he just wants to annoy and take everything away from him that's his but in truth, he was trying to portray himself as The Bad Guy to keep himself from acknowledging his true feelings for both MC and his brother.
I probably missed A LOT because I'm just writing this at once on my phone but PLEASE give this boy a chance. He just wants to be loved and doesn't fully understand how to even do that. Money is all he's ever known that's been consistent and has gotten him everything he's ever wanted and needed. Now, he meets a woman with a pure heart, he finds his brother again and all he wants to do is protect them, even if that means he fails.
Silvio's character, in my unbiased opinion, story is so good once you get down to the nitty gritty of the core of his character, the relationships he's been around, the role he's played for years, and finally coming to terms that it's okay to be vulnerable and be loved.
I respect any all who may not like him, but I hope this rant, my entire blog and speaking to me could help you at all to understand and possibly love this puppy as much as I do. I love you all. <3
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neonscandal · 10 months ago
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So I found this on bird app :
"i only like ge/go when it’s doomed and they have no longterm future
same with go/ge. they’re about the same to me but i think gojo bottomed more and was a total pillow princess about it in their teens. as adults they probably switched equally. i can see gojo developing his experience more with topping as an adult
either way they’re better as exes. gojo deserves more from a partner than someone who would leave him to start a cult "
Can I ask your thoughts, please?
Hello, hello. Considering, canonically, they are very doomed, I suppose OP found a solid pairing? I'm starting to understand the idea of doomed toxic yaoi a lot more because who says that with their whole chest? I don't feel like I'm on my A game today but let's see if I can adequately convey my thoughts.
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I think it's kinda funny, the sentiment that "Gojo deserves more from a partner than someone who would leave him to start a cult,". As if Gojo didn't play some part in his motivation for defection, as if to say this defection, too, did not reek of affection. Don't get me wrong, Geto's hard right was also a great deal of ego. But, foundationally, his departure was sparked by an inability to stand shoulder to shoulder with Gojo, power wise.
Toji got the drop on Gojo which sent Geto on the offensive. After being reassured he was fine, Gojo encouraged him to press forward with the mission. Just short of extending protection to their charge to follow her own wishes, Toji violently extinguishes the life of Riko Amanai before his eyes. An opportunity that was only made possible by besting Gojo, killing him even. Geto loses his composure with this realization and is summarily and disrespectfully embarrassed and defeated. Left alive with the knowledge that he wasn't deemed enough of a threat to kill. This is on the tail end of all of Gojo's reassurances that he was fine, that they could even take on Tengen because he had Geto to rely on. But this series of events, this cocoon of hubris, challenges Geto's ability to protect anyone at all. From this he determines the best way to circumvent premature losses like Gojo, Riko and Haibara are simply to eradicate the population they're forced to put themselves on the line for.
Armies were roused to reclaim Helen of Troy and return her divine beauty back to Sparta, causing the Trojan War. Six people died, including the eponymous lovers Romeo and Juliet, due to a series of compounding events for a romance that lasted 3 days. Orpheus braved the Underworld at the chance to retrieve Eurydice. Geto betrayed himself and everything he'd stood for previously for a chance to create a world where Gojo wouldn't have to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He walked away from Gojo knowing the path he walked was twisted and, in his mind, did so irrevocably even though I know Gojo would have followed him if asked. So why didn't he ask?
The man who had been the moral compass for The Strongest Sorcerer did not abuse that influence. Even knowing he was doomed to fail in his endeavor. Even recognizing that with Gojo's power, it'd be possible. But he never asked, never chose to lead him astray. So, yes, they're tragic but does the copium not encourage us to seek out AU's where they are free of the burden of their fates and are just happy?
RE: everything else, maybe I'm an anomaly but I don't really care about people or characters' positions in relationships so I don't know that I'm someone you want chiming in on that. Like, I get people assume that positions present different archetypes that they choose to align characters with but... that pragmatism ignores a lot of nuance. I also inherently know that people use different names for ships based on this but I don't nor do I see them as having different relationship dynamics, per se, in referring to them as gego vs goge. I just look at their canonical dynamic and tend to use the more popular ship name.
Even if I agree that I could see Gojo as a pillow princess, it's less to do with the "physicality" of it and more to do with his personality. He is princess just as much as Geto is babygirl and the girls who get it, get it.
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melonteee · 1 year ago
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I don't know if you ever answered a question like that. But what are your honest thoughts about the Vinsmoke kids.
*rubs my hands together*
SO! Here's the thing. The way Sanji's brothers treated him was absolutely horrible, Sanji is not obligated to forgive them nor accept any apology (if they ever give one) regarding the torture they put him through. The same can be said for Reiju, while she did help him, she was still complicit in his beatings and only helped him behind closed doors. It was the little bit of affection Sanji got, but it was still a sense of "You're only worth helping so long as I don't get in trouble" which is heart breaking.
But here's the other thing, ALL the Vinsmoke kids were in an abusive household. Blaming Sanji's siblings for what they'd done is ignoring the rotten core of this household - which was Judge. The Vinsmoke kids listened to Judge and respected Judge, even felt a sense of fear for Judge. He's their father, after all, and he's the holder of all authority.
Judge not only did not stop these kids from beating up Sanji, but encouraged it - and it was a sense of recognition Ichiji, Niji and Yonji would've received from the act of abusing Sanji. This mindset can even be shown as they meet again as adults, with Ichiji explaining how the 'hierarchy works' because THIS is the environment Judge set. He pushed that Sanji was the runt of the litter, and that Sanji needed to be punished for the sole fact he was weaker.
The Vinsmoke siblings are, obviously, not good people. Reiju herself is also by no means a good person, and the tragedy with her is she knows this, but Judge's manipulation and abusive control has her too afraid to make a change. I feel pointing at the Vinsmoke kids and saying "OH THEY'RE JUST AWFUL! THE WORST EVER!" is looking past the fact that the Vinsmoke family is an extreme example of how an abusive household can form. JUDGE is the abuser here, HE is the monster targeting Sanji in every way, and his brothers are desperately looking for their father's approval.
I think the Vinsmoke kids are incredibly sad, I think by all means they would've left Sanji alone and possibly even cared for him had Judge not found Sanji worthless. Sanji failing his experiments also left Judge in a constant bad mood, making it so NONE of the kids ever got praised, so what else would these children do but pick on the one that's getting ALL of them punished and looked over? It's why I think it was extremely purposeful that Sanji rejected ONLY Judge, I think there's a reason Sanji didn't turn to his brothers and tell them to NEVER associate with him again - his speech was specifically targeted at Judge.
I honestly think, with who Sanji is and what he's gone through, he feels remorse for his siblings. He's terrified to turn into a monster like them, but does that not lend to the idea that he also feels a sense of anguish for what they were forced to be and turned into? It's not their fault, and Sanji knows that - hence why he has such a complicated relationship with them. He doesn't want them dead, but he hates them and doesn't want to forgive them, and is that not disgustingly realistic in terms of blood ties and blood family?? It made my gut drop at just how twisted this whole family was.
It's why I was so relieved that ONLY his siblings got a moment of redemption, that Niji grabbed Sanji to save him and bicker with him in a playful way like NORMAL BROTHERS WOULD! It's just so tragic to get a glimpse of what these kids could've been without Judge, and it's so tragic to think his brothers would've had SOME sense of fondness towards him had Judge not abused his position as their father and authority figure.
I feel a lot towards the Vinsmoke kids, because looking at everything surrounding them and what they are, they just make me incredibly depressed.
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loganthrives · 5 months ago
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*SLAMS DESK*
YES!!!!!!!
THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!
My freaking abusive fucks of parents would use apologies as a power exchange (no not like that), pretty much as described above. Saying sorry was regarded as giving some of your power away, and whomever you said sorry to would have power over you. It was fucked up and shitty in SO many ways.
I've basically made it my whole life's mission to only apologize once I've actually done something wrong. Which happens a lot, due to autism and miscommunications and just not knowing shit, and its taken a LOT of internal reflection and therapy work to even mentally come to a place to be able to acknowledge that 1) its actually okay to fuck up sometimes so long as you apologize for it, and B) learn how to apologize for things properly.
So here's my three step guide on HOW TO APOLOGIZE PROPERLY:
1. Acknowledge the harm you caused.
Not external factors, not how it made them feel, ie. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings" is WRONG. "I'm sorry that what I did hurt you" is better. It is critical to put into words specifically what you did that was harmful. Sometimes external factors can be a reason (ex. I was late because my car got stuck in the snow), but they are not an excuse.
Do not put the blame on the weather or the circumstances or on them for having feelings. This is the most critical part of the process.
2. Communicate why it was harmful.
If you hurt someone's feelings, what did you do to hurt them? Did you say something in a way that was, on retrospect, very insensitive? Did you neglect to address their feelings at the time and that caused things to spiral? Did you raise your voice? Were you being argumentative or overly negative? Did you trauma dump without checking if they were okay to hear it first? Did you bring up a trigger of theirs without properly warning them? Did you fail to acknowledge that they were triggered?
This can be tricky, because sometimes you just genuinely didn't know better (like me - hi autism!). Sometimes there is some social conduct at work that you weren't aware of. Sometimes you're friends with a trans person and you didn't notice that they changed their pronouns in their bio yesterday and it leads to a whole kerfuffle. But now that you're at this step you must have developed some understanding of it, or if you don't understand ask genuine questions about it with as much grace and consideration and compassion as possible. Use phrases like "I genuinely didn't know", and "please help me to understand".
The point of this step is to show genuine understanding of what you did wrong. So make sure you have that understanding, and communicate it clearly.
3. Work out a plan to make sure you don't do it again.
We all fuck up sometimes, and if we don't make some sort of deliberate plan or pledge or promise not to, there's a good chance we'll do it again. We are creatures of habit and it can be hard to break out of harmful behaviours if we don't know better. But hopefully, having to apologize like this has helped you learn about one of them and has set you on the path to fixing that harmful thing with yourself.
Now that you understand where you went wrong this should be easy. Use the right pronouns next time and correct yourself in the moment if you mix them up again, make sure not to bring up the triggering subject with them again, or vent in another space made for it instead of dumping on your friend.
Bonus 4th step: Thank them.
In this day and age its not easy to be able to confront someone you've hurt to apologize to them, and its even harder to hear out someone who has hurt you. Thank them for taking the time to hear you out. Thank them for teaching you what you did wrong, and thank them for the learning you've gained from it. Thank them because this will make you better, and it will make your relationship with them better too.
I don't like hurting my friends, so I always want to do better and be better each day. And I'm willing to bet y'all don't like hurting your people either. Its my belief that solid relationships are built on good apologies. We all fuck up, like, all the time, and it sucks to be in that space where you know you hurt someone you care about.
It is a core belief of mine that good apologies make great relationships, and I practice that all the time with my bestie Mike, with my close friends, and even with my doggo if I mess up with her too (she probably doesn't understand my words, but she understands a soft voice and neck scritches and treats). Its important to communicate with each other openly and with compassion.
Put in the effort to apologize properly. Its worth it. 💜
So many people seem completely unaware of what a genuine apology is.
And that's because children are forced to say sorry on command.
Before they ever had a chance to process what they did, why they did it, what effect it had on others, or what they should have done instead, they're expected to say that they're sorry. And they're expected to "say it like you mean it" with no indication of what that even means and with no time to figure out how to phrase it correctly.
Sometimes, even when the child's actions are justified by any logical reasoning, they're expected to apologize because an authority figure demands it.
The goal of saying sorry ends up being solely to avoid punishment. And they phrase the apology in whatever way the authority figure will accept.
The result is an entire society filled with people who give completely useless apologies that appear like they're only trying to avoid punishment.
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ratrap · 2 years ago
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Listen, this is NOT your fault and you mustn't be ashamed to seek help, any shame you feel from having gotten in this situation and having to reach out is nothing compared to the shit he's putting you through. I know it's difficult, I know you might feel like because you entered into the relationship it's your responsibility to bear alone but it isn't, he clearly doesn't give a shit about your wellbeing and took advantage of someone who was struggling. I'm not the person who sent the ask about housing, I'll see if I can find anything myself that might be useful though, but it's actually very normal for people in abusive situations to develop unhealthy habits so you could explain the weight thing like that and not have to go into it further. 'He violates me in my sleep' is enough, 'he makes me do things I don't want to' is enough, 'he controls everything about my life' is enough, all of it is enough to show it's not your fault. I know getting in touch with your aunt must be terrifying but if she's the only lifeline left she's worth reaching out to if only to get you away from him for the time being. And keep talking to your therapist of course, now the truth's out she might be able to offer more advice on where to go from here. I'm not into 'that' at all, I think the whole thing's disturbing as fuck and crawling with freaks like him, but I almost wish I was just so if I ran into any shit he'd posted with you I could get the authorities down on his ass for non-consensual content. Don't apologize for his issues, you and your cat deserve to be free.
Also btw when I say how disgusting all this is I only mean the 'community', people like him who exploit others' negative self-image because they want to force someone to eat themselves to death. There's nothing shameful or disgusting about being fat or finding a fat person attractive in the normal way but people like that just hype up the idea no one could possibly want you except them so they can trap people in situations like yours. They're wrong and that's the shit that makes me sick, manipulating fat positivity and others' insecurities around weight to get their messed up kicks while they get to stay slim and feel like they have power over the person they're destroying. Just wanted to clarify as like I say, none of this is your fault and even if after getting away from him and radically changing your life you still stayed a naturally big person that's not a moral failing and you'll always deserve to be loved for yourself not as an object, however far away that might feel right now.
When i got into this relationship i was under the impression cause he told me he wasnt wanting to do this to me i thought he just had a thing for bigger guys than him. I thought he would just want to like touch it and i could deal with that cause i was really lonely lol and i thought he did care about me properly, but he was obviously lying to me and manipulating me. He still is. And he does like having that power over me I know that he does and he constantly infantalises me. Ive always been fat so I dont even know what it's like to be slim like him. I dont feel like being fat is a shameful thing apart from when it comes to me. I would love to be a healthy weight at some point but it is something I really have a difficult time doing no matter what help I get. And it's really hard to look at myself with the same compassion I have for other people. I understand the struggle with it for people like me or who are big but not as big as me, but I just have a hard time with myself as it is, my weight has been the bane of my existence forever and i have immense negative feelings about it. and it's not getting any easier to stop hating myself in an environment like this. it's always been an unhealthy habit or like coping mechanism for me and has been forever so it makes it really hard, and really easy for him to fuck w me. And I dont know where hes even putting the pictures and videos of me which is giving me more anxiety too I hope that people arent giving him money for them. I'm going to therapy in a few days hopefully, and I want to get new clothes to go so I dont have to go out looking like that and having people stare at me I dont know how I could do that. Thanks for messaging me all this. I hope your day is going good. I have been trying to think of what I could say in even just a text to my aunt or something but I am scared about it cause we havent really been on the same page ever, but especially not in the past like five years. Im not gonna tell her the specifics of it but I'll try to tell her like you said and just it's a really bad situation for me and I just need some help and somewhere else to stay for a bit. Im just stressed and dont know where to start. Im scared in case he finds out i want to leave before i get to. And things are getting harder for me to do. Hopefully my therapist will have some type of helpful advice when we talk more. and my aunt she'll probably be mad about my cat too but hes my cat and im not leaving him here
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saintlike78 · 4 years ago
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Flinch [Poly Marauders]
A/N: I’ve been reading a lot of poly Marauders fics and I got inspired to write my own. It’s very different than what I’m used to, and I give 100% credit to @randomoutsiders for the inspiration; please go read their work, it’s so good!
Also, this fic tackles some trauma about domestic abuse, so if this is a trigger PLEASE DO NOT READ. If you are ever abused in a relationship, please remember it’s never your fault and there are so many ways to get help.
International woman’s house crisis hotline (770-413-5557). https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help
Pairing: Poly! Marauders X fem!reader
Words: 3.1k
Summary: poly Marauders. You aren’t a stranger to being spanked, but Sirius tries to slap you without talking it through first, him not knowing it brings back past trauma. You’re shocked, but the boys take it as you liking it, so you power through. But the next day you flinch under normal setting, alerting the boys to something being wrong.
Warnings: TW! Mention of past abuse!, NSFW 16+, vaginal sex, oral (male receiving), polyamorous relationship, spanking, face-slapping, mention of subsbace, Dom!Remus, Dom!Sirius, Soft-dom!James, Sub!reader, degradation, praise, mention of cum, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it).
NSFW starts just below the cut!
Tears were streaming down your face as you tried to take Sirius’ cock as far down your throat as possible. Your arms and legs were shaking with the effort of keeping yourself up on all fours, as Remus pounded into you from behind. James was sitting beside you stroking your back and fisting at his own cock trying to reach his own high by watching you get destroyed by his two boyfriends.
Remus landed a firm slap on your ass making you jolt forwards, making you gag around Sirius.
“Such a little cockslut, can’t even take my cock without gagging” Sirius taunts, making you whine around him.
That’s when Sirius decides to try something none of the boys had tried before, he landed a slap across your face, a sharp sting on your cheek, and a red mark starting to form. Your mind was fuzzy, but panic set in and distant memories made their way to the front of your mind.
Right as Sirius had slapped you, your walls clenched around Remus and your eyes widened with panic, but Sirius took this as a look of surprise and assumed you liked it and he was pulled deeper into that thought when Remus spoke “I think she liked that Pads, she’s squeezing me like a vice,” he landed another slap on your ass, “isn’t that right bunny?”
Your mind was so fuzzy with both pleasure and panic you couldn’t do anything but whimper around Sirius.
“Fuck, princess take it” Sirius groaned as he started to twitch in your mouth, his cum filling your mouth, which you swallowed dutifully.
Sirius moved aside and let James stand in front of you and slowly put his own member inside your mouth. He let out a low groan at the feeling of your warm mouth around him and he wasted no time as he started to fuck into your mouth.
Behind you, Remus was rutting faster into you, growing close to his own release.
James was stroking your hair, being the softest of the three doms and keeping you grounded.
Sirius snaked his hand underneath you and found your swollen clit and started drawing fast circles on it, making you moan loudly around James’ cock.
“There you go, cum for us,” Sirius said as he applied more pressure to the swollen nub.
Your whole body shook as you came, your arms almost failing you.
The feeling and sight of you cumming made Remus moan loudly and spill his seed into you. James reaching his own high seconds after. Both boys slowly pumped into you, riding out theirs and your high, and slowly pulled out. As soon as they were out, you collapsed on the bed, your legs twitching slightly as you tried to catch your breath.
James chuckled softly and got up from the bed to grab a washcloth to clean you up.
“Such a good girl, you did amazing for us,” Remus said as he slowly rubbed your back to calm you down. The fuzz in your brain slowly disappearing as James came back and started to clean you, trying to be as quick as possible to not make you uncomfortable because of the sensitivity.
As James was cleaning you, Sirius had gotten up and fetched the four of you some clothes to wear, and helped you put it on.
As the fuzz had completely lifted from your brain, it was replaced with slight panic again, you knew the boys wouldn’t hurt you, but what if they wanted to. You hadn’t discussed with them that they couldn’t slap or hit you, but you didn’t know you had to. The thoughts were swarming around your mind, but you tried to keep calm and collect yourself, you didn’t want them to be mad at you.
“Okay princess, do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?” Sirius asked, opening his arms for you.
“No,” you said way too fast, but quickly added, “I mean, it’s Jamie’s turn.”
Sirius let his arms drop and frowned, “fine, but then you owe me tomorrow night and the next time we nap,” he said.
You nodded and turned to crawl into James’ bed, but were interrupted by Remus clearing his throat.
“Aren’t you going to give us a goodnight kiss, bunny?” He asked with a lifted brow.
You quickly made your way over to the scarred boy and stood on your toes to reach his lips. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, “goodnight.”
Remus kissed you back and wrapped his arms around you, giving your body a squeeze.
“That’s okay, bunny... are you still a little fuzzy? Because we can’t go to bed yet if you are,” he asked, wanting to make sure you were completely back before you went to sleep.
You just shook your head, “I’m fine, I’m here.”
Remus nodded and let you go to Sirius.
Sirius leaned down and gave you a long kiss, you tried to reciprocate, but you stood awkwardly as the raven-haired boy kissed you.
“Goodnight, love you,” you said quietly and quickly.
“Love you too, princess,” Sirius said but was slightly confused as to why you seemed so off.
You quickly made your way back to James, who was now lying under his blanket waiting for you.
As you got under the covers you snuggled close to him and he draped his arm over your waist.
“Goodnight, darling,” James whispered.
“Goodnight, Jamsie,” you whispered back, your voice almost nonexistent due to fatigue.
————————————
You made your way towards the common room after your last class of the day. You had woken up that morning still a bit weird in the head, the panicked state not quite leaving because of you being constantly afraid. You knew that they wouldn’t hurt you, of course, you knew that... but that’s what you thought about him as well, but you had been wrong before.
The last class of the day you had had without any of your boyfriends, so you were now making your way back on your own.
You walked through the portrait hole and made your way up the stairs towards the dorms. Normally you would be heading towards the boy’s dorms, your room basically being with your three boys, but tonight you decided to head towards your own dorm.
Your dorm room was empty, and you were grateful for the opportunity to be alone for a while. You decided to skip dinner and instead opting to grabbing a book and reading it whilst lounging on your bed.
You were so engrossed in your book you hadn’t noticed the time and suddenly the door opened, making you look up from your book for the first time in what felt like forever.
Lily and Marlene walked through the door but following them were the three boys you had avoided (not intentionally).
“Hi,” you said, your voice small.
“Hi bunny, why weren’t you at dinner and why are you in here?” Remus asked, the three boys making their way over to you and sitting beside you on the bed.
“I was reading and forgot about the time, I wasn’t really hungry,” you said as you started to fiddle with your fingers.
“Okay, you know we don’t like it when you don’t eat, but it’s fine... let’s just go to our room,” Sirius said. You couldn’t make out the tone of his voice and it made you nervous, so you just nodded and got off of the bed.
You said bye and goodnight to the girls and followed the boys to their dorm.
You stood in the middle of the room and your heart jumped a little when the door closed.
You started to fiddle with your hands again, a nervous habit of yours.
Sirius stood in front of you with a concerned frown, but you mistook it as an angry frown and dipped your head in submission.
“Princess, you know not to fiddle, and please look me in the eyes when I’m speaking to you, it’s rude not to,” Sirius said.
You lifted your head and looked at his face, you then looked between him and the two boys sitting on Remus’ bed, both looking at the situation unfold.
“I’m sorry,” you said, your voice small.
Sirius just shook his head and lifted his hand to run it through his hair, but you didn’t get to see his hand reach his hair before panic surged through your body, and your flinched, turning your head to the side and closing your eyes waiting for the impact.
You whimpered and a quiet “no” left your mouth.
Both Remus and James stood from the bed, both completely taken aback by what just happened.
Sirius’ hand halted and he dropped it again, his heart dropping to the floor watching your figure crumble in front of him.
You backed away a little, eyes still closed. You had forgotten that you weren’t allowed to flinch remembering it would only be worse when you did.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you repeated, your whole body trembling.
The three boys looked at each other, none of them knowing how to approach this, not wanting to frighten you more than they had.
Sirius was the first to do anything as the guilt took over and controlled his actions before his brain could tell him to stop.
He took a step towards you and wrapped his arms around you, making you jump again and let out a frightened gasp.
“I’m so sorry baby, I wasn’t going to do anything, I would never, please, I’m so sorry,” Sirius spoke, panic clear in his voice.
You collapsed against him, tears streaming down your face as you sobbed into his chest.
Remus and James quickly made their way over to you and wrapped their arms around both you and Sirius, holding you up.
You just kept mumbling almost silent ‘I’m sorries’.
“Shhh shhh, don’t be sorry, what happened bunny?” Remus asked, slowly caressing your back in hopes of calming you down, but you couldn’t answer him just yet.
After a while, your sobs slowly died down and the only sounds to be heard were your soft sniffles.
You lifted your head slowly and looked into Sirius’ eyes, his eyes already staring at your face trying to decipher what had happened.
You didn’t know what to say, the panic you felt before slowly evaporating, instead, you wrapped your arms around Sirius’ waist and squeezed him.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered.
“Stop apologizing, my love, you have nothing to apologize for,” Sirius said quietly, still afraid that he would frighten you again.
“Can we sit down?” You asked, your legs starting to ache from trying to keep yourself up, even if most of your weight was being carried by your three boys.
“Of course, baby,” James answered, and they led you to Remus’ bed where you all sat. Remus sat with his back against the headboard and led you to sit between his legs with your back to his chest. James took a seat beside you with his body turned towards you and took one of your hands. Lastly, Sirius sat crossed-legged in front of you and took your other hand and intertwined your fingers with his, to both comfort you, but also himself as guilt still surged through him.
You caressed Sirius’ hand with your thumb and squeezed his hand, knowing that you scared him with your reaction.
“You don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to, but we want to listen if you do want to tell us. We just want to help you and we’re not at all angry, we love you and just want you to feel safe with us, we never want you to be scared of us,” Remus started, his arms making their way around your middle to feel as close to you as possible and show you that he’s there.
You let out a long breath, trying to calm down because you did trust your boys and you wanted them to know that they did nothing wrong.
“So,” you started and cursed yourself for the shakiness of your voice, “you know that before I was with you three, I was with Thomas, you know before he moved to America?”
The three boys nodded but didn’t say anything, waiting for you to continue.
“Well.. uhm... we were together for a while, as you know, but he had slight issues with anger,” you continued, your breath still shaking and your voice breaking a couple of times.
Sirius, who was no stranger to people with anger issues, already had an inkling about where you were going. He could feel the anger start to fill his body but tried to keep his cool as you continued.
“He used to... h.h..hit me and he didn’t like it when I would flinch because he said he wouldn’t hurt me, b..but...” you were trying your hardest to get through your story, but your voice was breaking and fresh tears were weighing down your eyes.
“... he did, a lot and I know you guys never would, but it’s just always in the back of my mind.”
Sirius, James, and Remus were all shocked, they had all been friends with Thomas, not good friends, but friendly.
James was speechless, Remus's eyes filled with tears. Sirius was silently fuming with anger over anyone ever laying a hand on you and that’s when he realized he himself did, albeit during sex, but he still did. The anger was quickly replaced with guilt and sadness and all your weird behavior, especially towards him,
now made sense.
Before he had a chance to say anything the tears spilled from his eyes, catching the attention of yourself, James, and Remus.
“I’m so sorry, I would never have done it if I had known, I was so stupid, I should have talked to you about it first,” Sirius cried.
“No, you couldn’t have known! It was my fault for not telling you tha..” you tried to tell Sirius, but you were swiftly interrupted by the man himself. He grabbed your face in his hands and looked you in the eyes, “it was not your fault, never was, it was my fault for not asking you if it was alright before I did it and not even realizing that you weren’t enjoying it,” Sirius stated, making sure that his point came across.
You just nodded and leaned your head further into his touch, making Sirius’ heart skip a beat and he let out a shaky breath of relief.
“Thank you so much for telling us, our darling girl,” James said, stroking your cheek with his free hand.
Remus grabbed your waist and lifted you up, so you were situated on his lap, your side towards him. He kissed your temple and proceeded to say, “please tell us if we ever do anything to make you the least bit uncomfortable and we will stop immediately, we never want to hurt you or make you feel like you can’t talk to us or tell us when something is wrong.”
Sirius continued on from Remus, “we love you so much beautiful girl and again I’m so sorry for scaring you and laying a hand on you.”
“I forgive you; I know you didn’t do it with vicious intent, you only thought I would enjoy it and you couldn’t have known that I wouldn’t. I love you all so much, I’m so happy to have you all in my life,” you said as you leaned your head on Remus’ shoulder, your eyes growing heavy as fatigue took over your body because of all the emotions you felt in such a small amount of time.
“We’re the lucky ones, and lucky for you, you’re stuck with us forever,” James said with a huge grin, causing you all to let out a laugh, knowing that what he said was true. You couldn’t imagine yourself being with anyone else.
“You want to go to sleep, Bunny?” Remus asked, stroking your hair slowly, lulling you into a sleepy state, causing you to yawn.
“Mmhm,” you let out a sound of agreement.
“Okay let’s get ready for bed then,” James said as he got up to look for a shirt of theirs you could wear to sleep.
After having Remus help you get ready for bed and returning from the bathroom back into the room you stopped in the middle of the room, having to choose who to cuddle with that night.
Sirius didn’t want to push you, in your somewhat fragile state, but still very much in need of your comfort and reassurement.
You timidly made your way towards where Sirius was sitting shirtless on his bed and stood between his open legs, his hands instinctively finding placement on your hips.
“Can I sleep with you tonight?” You asked, not knowing why you had gone all shy.
“Of course, you can, our sweet girl, you don’t ever have to ask,” Sirius said and gave your hips a squeeze. His stomach leaping with excitement and relief.
You leaned down and kissed his forehead and left his grasp to kiss both Remus and James goodnight.
Sirius was waiting for you to finish before making his own way over to the two boys to also say his goodnights.
“Don’t worry Sirius, she’s not mad or scared, she was just shocked,” Remus Whispered for only Sirius to hear before he made his way back to the bed where you were waiting for him.
Sirius got under the covers first and opened them so you could slip in.
You laid facing Sirius, his arms around you holding you as close to his body as possible, legs intertwined, one of your hands resting on his chest and the other resting on his cheek.
“I love you so much, I can’t even explain it. If I ever see that horrible excuse for a man I will hex him into oblivion,” Sirius whispered, the first part sweetly, but his whisper got more aggressive as the sentence progressed.
His statement made you giggle; you knew he was being serious (pun intended) and you felt your heart swell with love at how safe you felt with them.
“I love you; I hope we never do see him, but I know I can always count on you, I feel so safe with you.”
Sirius’ eyes filled with tears (again) at your words, it was all he ever wanted.
He gave your body a squeeze and pulled you even closer if that was even possible, and you buried your face in the crook of his neck breathing in his masculine scent.
Sirius’ soft breathing and steady heartbeat lulled you to sleep, and you knew you always would be safe with not only him, but all three of your boys.
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spookyfbi · 1 year ago
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I absolutely agree that it is important to realise and acknowledge that abusers are people and they can still be abusive even if they don’t have malicious intent. Just wanted to say that right off the bat, we are in total agreement here.
I was trying to think of the best way to explain my position, and I think I’m going to go with an analogy, and then from there you can let me know which part you disagree with.
Let’s say I have a friend who wants to go on a diet. This friend comes to me and says ‘hey, I really want to go on a diet, but I really struggle with willpower. Every time you see me about to eat anything sweet, could you just take it from my hand and throw it in the bin?’ And I say ‘sure thing, friend!’ And I do this for years, decades even. Then my friend starts to think ‘yknow what, fuck diet culture. I want to enjoy my food!’ But this friend doesn’t actually say that to me. Maybe once or twice they say ‘hey I wanted to eat that!’ But they don’t say ‘actually I want to stop the whole putting my food in the bin thing’
Now, obviously the best thing for me to do the first time my friend reacted negatively to me putting their food in the bin would have been to stop and actually ask them ‘do you still want me to throw your food in the bin like we agreed?’ Like, affirmative consent, the most emotionally healthy thing to do is to keep checking in. But we’re not always our most emotionally healthy or best selves. Is it abusive that I didn’t? Have I actually been abusing my friend for years? Is it abusive that I missed or ignored the signs that they were growing uncomfortable with it?
Going back to Ed and Izzy - is this a situation of Izzy manipulating Ed into being Blackbeard against his will for years? Or is it a case, like me and my hypothetical friend, where Ed and Izzy both mutually agreed that Izzy would help him perpetuate the Blackbeard persona by doing all the dirty work as first mate that he was unable to do himself, so that he could maintain the mystical Blackbeard image, and it’s only recently that Ed started to become uncomfortable with it and didn’t really communicate that to Izzy.
Now, if it turns out that actually, the hypothetical food in the bin situation is indeed abusive, then okay, I concede, Izzy is abusive too.
If my hypothetical situation isn’t abusive, it’s just a bad situation brought about by two flawed people failing to communicate effectively, then I hope you can see that it’s possible to interpret Ed and Izzy’s past relationship as having a similar dynamic.
And like, I’m not saying that Izzy is completely blameless here. There are definitely things he should not have done, or should have done differently. He should not have sold Stede out to the English and he should not have emotionally kicked Ed when he was down and processing Stede leaving him.
“Izzy emotionally abused Ed into being Blackbeard for years”
My sibling in Calypso, that is your headcanon. That is not information we were given in the show. It’s fine to have headcanons but please don’t act like other people are wrong for having different headcanons for periods of time that we did not see in the show.
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missingn000 · 2 years ago
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not tpg speaking or anything but i wanna know your honest thoughts about toji 🤔
oh man, where do i even start with this. it's a great question! honestly...i have a lot of thoughts about canon toji, not all of which are coherent, but here's what comes to mind first.
toji is largely a product of circumstances -- the awful abuse by the zen'in clan, being cast out by society, straying from his path then finding his way again by marrying mamaguro, then losing her and essentially forfeiting all hope. i do think he loved megumi, but not in any way that actually helped him, or any way he truly showed. he wanted megumi to have a better life than him, but the way he went about it (trying to sell his son into the SAME SYSTEM that fucked him up) was clearly an awful choice.
what people often don't discuss is that toji had agency. yes, his circumstances were horrible, and a lot of his mentality was shaped by abuse and trauma. but in the end, it was his choice to become a hitman who didn't ask questions, and to abandon his family after the death of his first wife. there's a quote i always think of when analyzing characters like him: "bad circumstances explain bad behavior, but they don't excuse it." he undeniably could have made better choices. look at maki! though their circumstances were a bit different, they still were at the bottom of the barrel of the zen'in clan and horribly mistreated. but maki emancipated herself from that and chose to channel her spite into becoming strong in a profession that helps others, while toji chose the opposite.
toji is one of my favorite characters because he's just so interesting. there's so much about him to analyze. that scene in shibuya where he stabs himself in the head to avoid hurting megumi wrecked me beyond all imagination. his last words were so significant: "not zen'in, huh? good for you." what's important to notice is this: at that time, he had no idea that his sale of megumi to the zen'in clan hadn't gone through. it's probably impossible to say he knew that gojo, a kid he'd known for like, 15 minutes solely through a death fight, would actually end up adopting and protecting his son.
it's very indicative of their relationship overall. toji was glad megumi didn't turn out like him -- not because of toji, but in spite of him. he knew he failed megumi, and tsumiki too. stopping his largely uncontrollable body from hurting his son by taking his own life proves it. he couldn't be there for megumi, but at the very least he didn't want to take megumi down with him, in a physical and metaphorical sense.
tl;dr: toji deserved better, but it was partially his own choice that he never attained that. megumi got the father he was meant to have, and it wasn't toji. it could've been, in another life. but not this one.
wow this was rambly lol. i have many more thoughts i'm sure i'm leaving out. there's a whole possibility to analyze the toji vs gojo fight, toji's disregard of riko's life and his lack of compassion towards her also not having a choice in her fate, his spite towards gojo and wanting to overcome it for his pride, thus putting his pride over everything he'd tried to break away from. exploring his character and what could've been through tpg has been one of my favorite projects i've ever pursued in my life. i just. GAH. okay. im gonna lie down
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Sorry I'm being very spammy to miraculous salt blogs cause I saw this one ML sugar post that made me start think: do you think miraculous is overall a well written show or a badly written show?
oh it's definitely the latter (in my opinion). like, I feel like ML is trying too hard to be too many things and failing at it, and then all its other problems come from there.
is it an episodic kids/pre-teen show with no overarching plot but recurring themes of friendship?
yes but it's also got an overarching plot and covers themes of abuse and death and sickness which is more suited to older kids/young-mid teens.
AND it's also high art with deep themes aimed at older teens but if you think about those themes you're *wrong* actually because it's just a kid's show! it's not that deep! stupid SJW!! >:(
it's like the creators couldn't just pick *one thing* and work with it. they couldn't pick *one* age bracket to aim it at, they couldn't pick whether they wanted a long-running episodic serial or if they wanted a story with a bigger plot. they can't just pick one, and that's given us our issues with the status quo, our issues with a dull and repetitive plot, the juvenile, slapstick humour, tackling Adrien's abuse with all the delicacy and precision of a jack-hammer, professing deep themes of Importance For Adults/Older Teens and in the next breath treating the audience like toddlers.
And I'm not saying you can't create a kids show that handles hard themes but still resonates with a wide audience, I think Avatar has shown us that that is well and truly possible, but the success of Avatar is largely because it picked an audience and a theme and a story-telling method, and. Stuck. With. It.
Of course there's also a number of other things that go into a well-written story, and with a cast as large as ML, characters, interesting characterisation, relationships and character arcs are VITAL.
ML has a huge cast of recurring characters. In Season 1 alone we get: Marinette, Tikki, Adrien, Plagg, Hawkmoth/Gabriel, the whole Miracuclass (like 8? kids), Ms Bustier, Sabrina's Dad, Nathalie, Sabine, Tom, Mayor Bourgeois, Jagged, Master Fu, Manon, and Nadja Chamack.
That's not even including one-off characters who never show up again OR the likes of Mr Ramier/Pigeon who come back later on more and more often.
That is a huge cast. And when you have a cast that big you need a way to make your main cast stand out other than giving them tonnes of screen time *cough* adrien *cough*. ML utterly fails at this. S1 Adrien feels like a puppet and later on like a wet cardboard cut out. Felix has more arc and personality and bite than one of our main characters for cripe's sake.
S1 Marinette was, by far, probably the most explored of all her iterations. She was doing stuff, going places, having personality beyond just awooga adrien!!
But that is where they peaked. In S1. Like 6 or 8 years ago. A messy plot and world can be...overlooked if the characters are compelling enough. But ML hasn't got either. It doesn't give us Plot or Characters, or nice animation or a fun world or much of anything really.
Its only real value is to put something brightly coloured on TV to distract a small child. And like? It is so, so clear that the crew work hard on the show, but it's really not paid off. Like, at all. Other than, of course, the profits from the cheap merch being bought to please and pacify little kids, but I think we all know no one in anything less than an executive position will see any of that money.
So TL;DR: the story has no clear goal, no clear audience, the characters are forgettable and dull, the themes have no teeth. Overall, a badly written show. The time, energy and money could've easily gone to something better.
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angsty-omi · 4 years ago
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was she just a friend?
hajime iwaizumi x Reader
tw: very slight domestic abuse, insecurity, no happy ending, swearing, suggestive themes, and no editing prior.
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when you first started dating hajime, you had accepted the fact that he had a really close girl friend. how could you not? before you guys made it official he made sure his concerns were met with. this should’ve been the first red flag, however, you were blinded by love.
at first, it was subtle. she’d tag along with you guys on your walk home, which you didn’t mind at all. most of the trips, she’d make fun of iwaizumi and reminisce when they were kids. which, in turn, made you laugh. a lot. and usually after she got home, you and iwaizumi could spend the sunset together. his large calloused hand would wrap around yours, and he’d bring your hand up to peck it. your heart grew bigger by the minute.
then, one day after she left, both of his hands gripped your jaw, and soft lips were pressed against yours. you smiled into the kiss and added more pressure. as he pulled away, you instinctively moved forward for more. that made him chuckle, and grabbed your chin once more. however, this kiss was more passionate. you could never forget that night. it was purely blissful.
for the next six months, life felt like paradise. there was a consistency of “i love you-s,” cuddles, and even sex. but, as they say, happiness is only temporary. on your sixth month anniversary, you and hajime had planned a fancy dinner date on the bay. you showed up early, with excitement written on your face. you were currently wearing a satin maroon dress with a black trench coat on top. as you sat at your table, you pulled out a box out of your pocket. it was a promise ring. you rubbed the circumference of it, trying to ease your nerves. was this moving too fast? you were certain that you couldn’t love another the way you love hajime.
as the hour strikes, he still hadn’t showed up. you repeatedly checked your watch, and even asked other people’s in case your time was wrong. you texted hajime multiple times with no response. anxiety started bubbling in your stomach. what if hajime’s hurt? what if he got into a car accident? what if a UFO came down and kidnapped him? you prayed to yourself that none of those things were true.
before you even realized it, another hour went by. and at this point the waiters were passively suggesting you to leave, due to their full house. at first, you were weary, what if hajime shows up? you thought. although, you complied with the waiters and left. you called him so many times with no pick up. before jumping to conclusions, you decided to text her.
y/n: hey, have you talked to hajime recently?
her: nope! but i can text him if you’d like!
y/n: sure
you rolled your eyes at her message, she acted like he’d answer her and not you. you were his girlfriend for god sakes. obviously if he could text someone it’d be you... atleast that’s what you thought before you got a notification.
her: oh he just said he’s at home, was there something you needed?
that text broke your heart. he’s at home? worst of all he texted her back and not you? you just left her on read and headed home.
as you slammed your phone on the bed, you got ready to sleep. slipping into one of hajime’s shirts and a pair of underwear you tuck yourself in. while drifting, you inhaled his shirt and it smelled like him. his cologne had a wood musk scent to it which you adored. and before you realized it, you were crying. crying yourself to sleep.
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the next morning during school, you did everything in your power to ignore hajime. you skipped the lockers, lunch, and even prevented going to bathroom in case he was there. who could blame you? you were still upset after being stood up.
“miss y/n, could you grab these papers and send it to the office please?” your teacher asked.
you picked up the hefty amount of sheets and went on your merry way. with your guard down roaming the hallways, you failed to notice her and hajime at the end of it. as you both looked up from a long distance with eye contact, you simply turned around and took a detour. you could hear sneakers quickly catching up to you. it was hajime.
“hey baby i haven’t seen you all day,” he wrapped his arm around you.
you ignored him and continued looking straight ahead.
“hey are you okay?”
silence.
“y/n if you’re going to act like this and not tell me what’s going on, i’m going to go.” hajime said with a stern voice. you bit your lip, trying to hold tears back. you nudged yourself off of him and replied “fine.”
how could he be mad at you? and why’s he acting like nothing happened?
at the end of the school day, hajime was waiting at the gates for you. you caught sight of him and sighed. you couldn’t hold it off any longer. as you approached him, you saw her peeking out next to him. of course. with annoyance, you started walking home, with them behind you. the walk home was silent, excluding the loud footsteps trailing behind you. as soon as she turned for her house and a couple more steps, hajime grabbed your wrists and gently pinned you on the wall.
“tell me what’s wrong.”
immediately, tears start falling down your face.
“how could you forget about our sixth months?”
at this point, iwaizumi’s face turned pale. paler than a sheet of printer paper. he quickly kissed your tears, and rambled apologies.
“i can explain, that day hachi had some major family issues. her dad had just left the house to get drunk, and her mom was out of town. she needed me to come over, so i rushed.”
“so then, why didn’t you text me back?”
“what?”
“you heard me”
“i gave my phone to hachi because her dad broke hers.”
you gave a confused look. her phone wasn’t broken, she literally texted you and to think about it you never said her name aloud or in your thoughts.
“what? i literally texted her the night of and she said you texted her back saying you were home”
“hachi wouldn’t do that.”
did he just assume that you would lie? what reason would you even have to lie? you pulled up your phone and showed him the messages.
“this was probably a misunderstanding, are you sure your connection was good? some of them probably didn’t send so it looks bad” he casually said.
you were just in so much shock when he said that. how could he? why did he? your head started to feel stressed so you just walked away. not wanting to hear his idiotic excuses anymore. he trailed behind you and wrapped his arms around you.
“please don’t leave us on bad terms, i’m sorry i won’t do it again” you felt tears on the back of your school uniform.
“i guess it wouldn’t hurt to forget this one instance” you thought to yourself. so what did you do? you forgave him.
poor little naive girl.
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after you guys made up, he decided to have a make up anniversary. you guys cuddled up on your bed and watched many sappy romance movies while ordering your favorite place. this was way better than an expensive dinner. you were just glad he was in your arms again and whispering sweet nothings into your ear.
you got up from the bed with his arms dragging behind to go into your dresser, where you hid the box. as you were about to turn around and suprise him, his phone rang. who could be calling at this hour? you know who. hachi.
“don’t pick it up” you frowned.
“please babe just give me one second?” he pouted.
you nod in a agony. as he answered it, you could hear dramatic tears on the other end with a concerned hajime on the line.
“are you okay?! he did what?! i’m coming right now”
as he ended the call, he buckled his pants back on.
“you’re kidding right?”
you hid the tiny box behind your back.
“what are you talking about y/n?” he frustrated, clearly stressed out.
“this is our anniversary and you’re going over to see another girl?”
“y/n, she’s my best friend and you know that. plus she’s home alone and her dad just broke a window.”
“then can i come with you?”
he shook his head, “i don’t think she wants anyone to see her in that state right now”
“except for you, hm makes sense okay”
“can you please not be insecure for like one day?” his fingers ran through his hair.
your eyes widened, “are you fucking serious? you’re the one that made me insecure! first i dropped the whole dinner phone text thing even though there was obvious evidence hachi was trying to sabotage us, why can’t you see it?!”
“y/n, at the beginning of our relationship you acknowledged that i had a close girl friend. and with that, the dinner thing was just a misunderstanding. stop bringing that up or else.” he aggressed.
“are you seriously threatening me right now?”
“if you leave right now.. t-then we’re over!” the words just slipped out of your mouth. both of you guys were in shock. you were just so relentlessly depleted from this argument that you decided this was your solution.
he furiously opened the door, “hajime wai-” you were cut off by the door slamming shut. tears were flowing like a waterfall at this point. you gave yourself some time to breathe and reevaluate. you couldn’t lose hajime, he was your person. your light. your yellow. you put on your sneakers and ran to hachi’s house, knowing he’d be there. you grabbed the promise ring alongside so you could beg for forgiveness.
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your breath was ragged, damn were you out of shape. but at the end, you got to your destination. as you analyzed the house, there seem to be no windows broken, but the front door was opened slightly. you knew she was lying from the start about her dad smashing things. you slowly walked in as quiet as possible and could hear sobs in the other room. as you pressed your ear to the door, it was hajime’s sobs. your heart felt so much guilt, sayings like “i love her so much” and “how could she just say that?” were the only phrases you could comprehend. then there was silence. as you opened the door, prepared to make up, you couldn’t believe your eyes. hachi and hajime’s face were about a half an inch away from each other. they both looked up at you.
“nice intact windows, take this stupid fucking ring, you’re dead to me iwaizumi” you chucked the box at him. as he looked at the box, it had been embroidered ‘promise’ on it and he knew what that meant. you quickly made your exit through the door with hajime closely behind you.
you stopped in your tracks, “please just leave me alone” your voice now dainty.
“y/n, plea-”
“please what? please forget about what i saw? i knew it i fucking knew it. you know what, this whole time you made me like the bad guy when it was YOU. you made me like this, and the worst part is I STILL LOVE YOU.” you punched jabs into his chest. obviously it didn’t hurt him physically, but emotionally it felt like a million swords were stabbing him repeatedly.
“please stop this, is there anyway you can forgive me? please?” he sobbed.
“i’ll do anything”
“would you leave hachi for me?” you asked sharply.
his hesitation was all you needed. in his head he answered yes, but it was like his vocal chords stopped working. deep in his heart, he knew you deserved better. so he stayed quiet.
“go to hell, go fuck hachi or something see if i care.” but you did care. you just wished that he fought just a little bit for you. but he never did and you had to accept it like a champ.
before this all happened, you had dreamed about iwaizumi hajime and yours’s future. but now it’s all ruined.
you’re left heartbroken and lost $350 on a ring that had no meaning.
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anexlarrieblog · 3 years ago
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What I fail to understand is : if Harry was closeted forcefully and people around him were abusive about his secret relationship, then why would they allow him to put so many obvious clues about that relationship? To me, it does make any sense. The L on the shoe, the LT on the Rubik’s cube, the blue lights, the colourful beaded necklaces, shirts, all of that. It does not make any sense that they would try to cover up a relationship with so many contracts while the artist himself breaks so many characteristics of the said contracts. Unless, there’s no actual contract or secret relationship, huh.. Don’t you think that if they really saw what Harry is doing as a rebellious act against their scheme to hide his relationship, they would try to silence him and deny everything ? Because it should be if we follow that selective narrative of yours. Instead, Harry does not care at all, nor his management for all we know. They let him do whatever he wants. If they were really trying to hide that, they would’ve never allowed Harry to do anything remotely close to what he is doing now. It only makes sense when you want it to make sense, it only adds up if you believe that it does. His whole existence does not revolve around Louis, he is a human being with preferences and traits, if he likes blue or there two lines on his shoes, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Same thing for louis, if he wears a green shirt, an H shirt or whatever, it does not mean anything. We clearly saw that Louis did not really care for fashion and trends, he’s a simple guy, he likes to wear football jersey and he wears the same clothes all the time. The 369 theory is completely whack, the poor man probably didn’t even think about all of the possible meaning behind that number, he is not the one who created it. Harry definitely did not count how many days they were between the moment he sang I Will Survive. It only is if you want it to be. Same thing for flights. If your favs were really being manipulated, do you think they would allow them to travel to be at each other’s concert ? What kind of logic is that ? And again, the YAH account is not a secret account made to communicate with Larries. IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. The account is for promotion, if it was really to communicate with Larries, how on earth would they allow that ?????
I agree with everything you have said. I wanna touch on your comments about Louis’ dress sense though as that brings up a much bigger and separate issue which caught my interest cause of a recent wack Larrie post I seen.
Louis has his own style that doesn’t mean he isn’t interested in fashion or what he wears? But Larries actually hate Louis’ dress sense and everything else about him which is why they say it’s ‘part of his image’. But Harry who’s dress sense they likeee they say it’s Harry expressing himself. So Harry can express his personality via fashion choices (cause they like what they can interpret about that 🥴) but Louis can’t, his is all about pushing his ‘straight image’ (cause they don’t like what it says). It’s alllll about them. They don’t care for the real versions of H and L and anything they don’t like is crafted in their eyes for a negative purpose. Ugh.
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c-aureus · 4 years ago
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My opinions on the relationship between Link and Zelda in BotW, and why I personally detest romantic BotW Zelink:
A strong title, I am aware. I'm aware of the risk this runs of causing a right shitstorm lol.
I'd like to preface this essay with the disclaimer that all of the following are merely my interpretations. It is completely fine if you disagree with me.
My views are not any more or less valid than anyone else's, and do not invalidate conflicting opinions.
Nevertheless, if you are an avid BotW Zelink shipper who does not wish to hear a great deal of criticism about this pairing, then I suggest you do not read this post.
If, however, you are curious to hear my opinions, then I merely request that you keep an open mind, and be respectful of everyone else's interpretation. I will admit that these interpretations are integral to my characterisations within my fanfic series.
OK, so. Firstly. I do not think that anyone can reasonably argue with the fact that Zelda treats Link AWFULLY in the earlier memories. Indeed, BotW makes a rather large point of showing just some of the ways Zelda mistreats Link.
For context, Link is appointed as Zelda's Royal Guard by her father, the King. It is, therefore, his sworn duty to protect her, and he doesn't really have any say in the matter. But I believe that he would be proud to serve his kingdom in this capacity.
Zelda, however, takes great offence to his presence. She takes out her frustration by constantly belittling and berating Link, (knowing that she will not face repercussions for her mistreatment due to their respective positions) and repeatedly trying to escape his escort, despite the fact that he is there for her safety, and despite his best efforts to be as unobtrusive as possible to her.
And then, when Link finds her, because he is devoted to his duty of protecting her, she berates him again.
For merely doing his job.
What Zelda is showing here is that she holds utter contempt for Link and his duty, and actively tries to make his job, and his life, miserable. I cannot imagine the stress Zelda's constant absconding would have on Link, given that if he fails his duty to keep her safe, it's his arse on the line. Plus the entirety of Hyrule's arse too, given Zelda's destiny that she needs to perform.
We know from Zelda's diary that Link, despite his blank facade, IS hurt by her blatantly hurtful actions, as is completely natural and normal in his circumstances.
Now, to be completely fair, I believe that Link is highly sympathetic to Zelda. He understands why she mistreats him, especially since Urbosa spells it out in her cutscene. He understands that Zelda is in an unenviable position, and that she is taking out her frustration and anger for not being able to live up to her destiny on him.
However, despite this understanding and sympathy, that does not mean that the hurt Zelda has caused him vanishes.
He has an explanation for her behaviour. But it is NOT an excuse.
So anyway. Zelda's behaviour continues until the Gerudo desert. Remember that Zelda fled from Link's protection (again) to go to the Gerudo Town, where Link is not allowed to set foot as a male. After he tracks her down to Vah Naboris (in the dead of night - dude must have been walking all day across a desert to reach her), Zelda's first reaction when she sees him is scorn. I can't imagine how hurtful that must be.
Anyway, the next morning, Zelda ditches him YET AGAIN, making her way across the desert alone.
When she is jumped by Yiga Assassins. Who come within moments of killing (or worse, capturing) her, until Link comes flying out of nowhere to save her.
(On a little side note, some people think this is where Zelda fell in love with him. And really, at this point, Zelda knows nothing about him, since she'd never before given him the time of day. She, at best, has a crush on the concept of a Saviour)
Now, fair play to Zelda in that after this pivotal moment, she changes her attitude and behaviour towards Link, even admitting to her previous faults in her diary. This shows a surprising maturity that contrasts her previous childishness.
However, again, this does not make all of the hurt she caused him just vanish.
Now, over the next months, I believe that Zelda and Link became very close friends. Especially given that Zelda was so starved for relationships. And they come to know each other very well, especially with Zelda sympathising with Link's lack of choice in his own destiny, similar to herself.
However, well... even after this point, Zelda still mistreats Link.
I'm referring primarily to the Frog Cutscene.
Now, to preface this, in this instance, I do not believe that Zelda is behaving maliciously to Link intentionally. I believe that she is trying to tease him.
However, her behaviour is not ideal.
In this cutscene, Link shows extreme discomfort with Zelda's insistence that he eat the live frog. This is especially significant, given his usual stoicness. The fact that Zelda causes this reaction means that he feels extremely strongly about this issue.
However, Zelda keeps insisting and pushing him, effectively taking her teasing too far, and causing Link more discomfort. Because who would want to eat a frog? (No offence to French people).
Now, coming from my own experience of having friends take teasing too far with me, and having unfortunately done the same with other people, I can say with absolute certainty that Zelda's behaviour here is not ok. Especially given Link's very apparent discomfort here.
However, there is also another aspect here that I've never seen anyone else mention.
Namely that, despite Zelda's wishes of friendship, she holds authority over Link, as Princess of the Kingdom.
As a Knight, he is duty bound to follow Zelda's orders and instructions. And one could argue that Zelda's insistence could be viewed in the context of her 'ordering' Link to eat the frog. Of course, I do not believe that this is her intention, but, from Link's perspective, there is definitely cause for reasonable doubt.
Which forces Link into the exceedingly awkward decision of having to refuse what MIGHT be an order from the Princess.
And, especially framed in the context of Zelda's previous immature, unfair behaviour towards him, he doesn't know if his refusal might cause Zelda to get all stroppy with him. Let alone other, more significant consequences that might arise from disobeying his superior.
And I feel sorry for Zelda here, seeing that she wants to view Link as a friend (or potentially more), however she must know that they are both bound by their respective positions at this point. Her behaviour is... inappropriate, and as sorry as I feel for her, that does not change the fact that she's dumping Link in an extraordinarily awkward position, and being very unfair to him.
Because, if Link does take issue with her behaviour, what can he do to stop it? Zelda is the princess, and he has no right to tell her what she can and cannot do.
Now, that is effectively the crux of my argument, however I will also note that I interpret Link to be extremely depressed in BotW, due to how much he has lost, and how he is grieving the deaths of well... everyone he's ever known, many of whom he cannot even remember. He's grieving the death of an entire civilisation, as well as people extremely close to him.
In such circumstances, it would be natural for him to resent the fact that Zelda did not awaken her power sooner, and resent Zelda's decision to have him resurrected, even in spite of him understanding the necessity of it.
Basically, whilst I interpret Link and Zelda to be very close, I am very strongly against the idea that Link would form romantic feelings for her, due to his formative impressions of her being filled with mistreatment and abuse. Whilst I do not doubt that he forgives her, the fact remains that first impressions are important. And Link's first, second, third... (and so on) impressions of Zelda are... unfavourable.
If this happened to me, then, perhaps with a healthy dose of sympathy and understanding, I could come to forgive the one who has mistreated me so extensively, as I believe Link does for Zelda.
However, I do not think that I could ever fall in love with them.
And, whilst this was not meant to involve my interpretations about Miphlink, I will say that during the whole time Zelda was abusing and disrespecting Link, Mipha was nothing but kind, accepting, caring and devoted towards him.
As such, if the sequel explicitly puts Link and Zelda into a romantic relationship, or even just strongly implies it, I will be...
Honestly, I'll be furious. Because this would run so completely contradictory to all of my interpretations about BotW and the characters.
I pray that they write with subtlety and leave reasonable room for interpretation.
Once again, these are only my interpretations. If you wish to add your own, then feel free. I'm all for having a reasonable, respectful and informed debate on the matter. However, please remain respectful of other opinions, whatever your interpretation is.
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the-courage-to-heal · 3 years ago
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Signs You Had a Narcissistic Parent & What Trauma Treatment Can Do to Help:
Narcissistic parents can inflict quite a bit of psychological damage on their children. Boundaries are a problem for them. Manipulation is their M.O. Their own needs are the primary needs of the whole family. In a sense, the other family members are like moons revolving around a large planet.
So, to meet these parents’ needs, children of narcissists learn they must reflect the perfect image the narcissist wants to project. They must comply without complaint and fulfill their parent’s wishes. If they fail? Well, then a whole host of emotional punishments may ensue, not the least of which is a loss of parental affection, neglect, and withdrawal. To restore connection, the child of a narcissist learns to perform, put their own needs aside, and cope with unrelenting demands to be as talented, attractive, and charismatic as their parent requires. Sometimes, they learn to be invisible so as not to draw the narcissistic parent’s wrath to them.
Negative relationship patterns are the norm
Are your relationships short-lived or consistently mired in troubles and conflict? Are your romantic connections anything but stable or secure? Safety in relationships may not even feel like a possibility. If you have siblings, your relationships may be marred by competitiveness and envy as you were forced to compete for approval. Growing up with a narcissistic parent shapes how you attach. Generally, it’s not uncommon for children of narcissistic parents to shut out the people they care about the most. Or they cling so hard that they suffocate the connection. You may crave love and attention but sabotage it as soon as you get it.
Narcissistic Parents create kid with poor boundaries… and a limited sense of identity persist
Do you have trouble saying “no” or being told “no”? Does it bother you to engage people who prize autonomy? Narcissistic parents can often veer off into authoritarian parenting. So children of narcissists are typically discouraged from setting boundaries. Narcissistic parents tend to trample boundaries. They may intrude, stay enmeshed in their offspring’s lives and discourage their kids’ individuality. They are easier to control that way.
As an adult, you may now have trouble expressing your own thoughts, making decisions, or managing conflict. Feeling unheard and “invisible” may be a frequent experience.
Self-blame, shame, and low self-esteem are a way of life
Is your self-talk critical and harsh? Do you often wonder “what’s wrong with me”? Life with a narcissistic parent means the child is always performing. If this was your childhood, then your life may feel like just a series of successes or failures. There is no sense that you can just “be.” Your narcissistic parent likely groomed you to see your behavior as the seminal reason he or she was happy or unhappy. You likely bring this to your current relationships. Such a low self-image makes you vulnerable to opportunistic or abusive people.
Personal needs seem burdensome, inconsequential, weak
Have you come to despise your own needs? Does thinking about self care annoy you? Children of narcissists are often quick to neglect themselves, opting to organize their lives around the perceived needs of others. Making others happy at their own expense and heading off other’s discontent with sacrifice is an exhausting daily campaign.
Narcissistic Parents Are Often Antagonistic. Emotional regulation is sorely lacking
Are you anxious and reactive? Do you have “anger issues” or sink quickly to depressive lows? Your parent’s narcissism left little time for your emotions or learning how to regulate them. Your emotions may feel overwhelming and uncomfortable, particularly when facing criticism, conflict, or disapproval. Growing up with a narcissistic mother or father often mean being the target of narcissistic rage.
Narcissistic emulation is often the key to coping
Do people accuse you of narcissistic behavior? Are you prone to showing off, drawing attention to yourself, or manipulating others to maintain your image? Your narcissistic parent was your role model. Because narcissism is a form of abuse, it can be passed down. It may be that you followed in your parent’s footsteps to win their love first, and now the cycle simply continues.
Relationship PTSD is Real & Trauma Therapy Heals
Abusive parents traumatize their children. The seeming charismatic nature of the narcissist mother or father can confuse others, including their children, into thinking that the abuse is not real or pervasive. But the fallout speaks for itself. The resulting symptoms are very similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
If you experience anxiety, sleep disruption, eating disorders, depression, and more, please seek help. It’s time to work through your parent relationship for the sake of recovery and your future relationships. Trauma therapy can help you confront, accept, and process the past without retraumatizing you. In a safe space, your therapist can help you heal the damage your narcissistic mother or narcissistic father did. You can form a healthy therapeutic attachment. And you therapist will then help you learn how to form healthy boundaries for beneficial connections going forward.
source
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theopolis · 3 years ago
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Extremely long, extremely salty Kindred criticism post
Yk the thing about the Kindred storyline is that it failed at being everything it was trying to be.
It wanted to be like DeMatteis' Goblin Junior arc while simultaneously inverting every concept from that arc. Harry is a gentle soul going down a dark path and hurting not only others but himself in the process? No, he's the comically evil mastermind who would throw his friends - Gwen and MJ, who even by his own standards have done him no wrong - under the bus to get revenge! Norman is the looming influence that follows Harry and motivates him to bend himself into who his father wanted him to be? No, he's the repentant, permanently dewey eyed reformed Norman who we're supposed to feel bad for when he gets dismissed and punched around by evil Harry/his demonic clone vessels/whatever the fuck. Peter is the best friend who, despite of course feeling angry and betrayed, believes in Harry's softness and their love and wants the best for him? No, he's immediately and with zero explanation ready to believe Harry is a literal demon all of a sudden and, I quote, "through with helping him". And I don't even think this (later clumsily backpedaled on) change of mind in Peter isn't justified in-universe - Kindred did uh, dig up the skeletons of Peter's loved ones and put party city wigs on them and also smash him with a big rock a couple of times, so there's that. But that's exactly the problem - Spencer set the stage for a story that doesn't actually involve Peter, or Harry, or Norman. He created mostly completely different dynamics between mostly completely different characters, and decided to project that on the the three of them. While also periodically inserting hamfisted callbacks to the DeMatteis stories, as if he didn't just take a giant dump on everything they established.
And here's the thing, even if I did enjoy the idea of Harry forgiving Norman, or the idea of Harry returning to villainy, or the idea of Norman becoming a character we're supposed to root for - which I cannot stress enough how much I don't - the execution of all these ideas was perhaps the worst it could have possibly been. Rushed, convoluted, and hollow.
Norman's sudden goodness is the result of a supernatural, vague process that apparently "freed him of his sin", whatever that means. Like, how do you quantify sin? How can you take it out of a person when it's their moral ideology and conscious choices that make them sinful/bad/evil? What happened to Norman simply reads like brainwashing to me. He is aware he's done something really bad, but he hasn't actually learned anything, and that impression is only backed by the way he talks about his past actions. It's always "oh it's my fault you're like this Harry" and "oh I can never make it up to you" etc etc but does he ever actually recognize his mistakes for what they were? Recognize where the errors of his past convictions lie? Of course not, because Spencer has zero reading comprehension and therefore no clue about the intricacies of Norman's character, his abuse of Harry, or what motivated it, or what he demanded of his son. It's funny how these four panels from a recent What If issue managed to paint a more compelling, if brief, picture of Norman as an apologetic father than Spencer has in a year worth of comics:
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Harry's sudden villainy and the way it evolved throughout this story is just a train wreck. He has not had a substantial role in the comics for a long time now, but suddenly he's back AND he's evil! Who cares about complexity? Who cares about how Harry's feeling? Why he's doing what he does other than some extremely vague idea of revenge on apparently both Peter and Norman? Even though he was neck deep in denial about Norman being a horrible father and person at the time he supposedly launched the whole (checks notes) "create clones from Norman's and Gwen's DNA to stick it to his old man AND Peter in the future" plan, which he concocted because he somehow (????) knew his father wasn't gonna stay dead, which begs the question why he was so torn up about it in the first place, and- Look I could sit here all day trying to decipher the whole Gabriel and Sarah Stacy twist. It's impressive what an inconsistent, incomprehensible mess it is considering it was only introduced two issues ago. ASM 74 sort of hinted that Harry was being piloted by Mephisto when he created the clones so they could later become his hellish lackeys? I uhm, think? It's impossible to tell because no part of that retcon makes any sense to begin with. It doesn’t want to make sense because it was written - most likely on a whim - with the sole intent to garner good will for undoing Sins Past. Harry, for this entire arc, was not a character but merely a tool to bait us with an OMD reversal and ultimately do a Sins Past one. And of course, there's the fact that post OMD Harry - one of the only good things to come out of OMD in the first place - was just a clone all along, putting into question how valid all the amazing and inspiring development he went through since his revival was. Thanks a lot.
Lastly, I don't think I have to say how insulting it is to not just use Harry's character as a cheap plot device, but eventually force him to sacrifice his life for the very man who ruined it in every way. The man who abused him since birth, betrayed him on every level, attacked and murdered so many people Harry loves, including almost getting Harry's son killed. Why? Because he’s had a suspicious sudden onset of goodness that Harry has no context for? Norman and clone!Harry have not even interacted for this entire arc, but the sole act of Norman offering himself up to the rabid Kindred twins makes Harry instantly forgive everything he’s ever done. There was no build up to this whatsoever. It’s bad writing. And I don't think the abuse apologism implications of all this are intentional, I think Spencer just thought up the groundbreakingly subversive concept of "what if Norman good and Harry bad" and ran with that. But those implications are there nonetheless, because Harry and Norman's relationship has pretty much always been about abuse, about being mistreated by your parents, about not feeling good enough for them and eventually realizing that you were wronged and you don't owe them anything.
Spencer had Harry, a man who fought for years to rise to his best, most authentic self and fully turn his back on Norman and his legacy, die to save the father who never valued him for that self. And to add insult to injury, paralleled that with Harry dying after saving his best friend who loved him unconditionally. The latter mentioned death being a direct consequence of the actions Harry took to fit the expectations said abusive father had drilled into his head. I feel like that ending explains everything about this plotline.
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