#For me I only really do that with Ouma because it adds some distance between his name and what I call my grandmother ghsdkf

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

If anything the spelling/romanization of some names is what personally confuses me, like I'm not sure why people spell some names like "Ouma" and "Souda" one way but also spell some names like "Rantaro" "Shuichi" "Ryoma" etc instead of "Rantarou" "Shuuichi" "Ryouma" etc.

Im studying japanese and the extra U there indicates that the "O" sound is a bit longer than it would be in just "Oma" or "Soda". Though I'm not sure if all characters this happens to actually have that extra long sound there. Like Ouma and Souda are common enough that I trust it, but the ones I don't see as often have me wondering

[hajimes-erect-ahoge]

Postmortem- Chapter 8

Kokichi attends group therapy for the first time.

ao3

Ouma’s deep slumber, after not sleeping in lord knows how long, was interrupted by an incessant knocking at his door. Half-asleep, he faintly heard someone yell that they were coming in, followed by the opening of the door. Blinking the last remains of sleep from his weary eyes, Ouma groggily registered the sight of a nurse entering his room.

“There you are, Ouma-kun!” the nurse smiled. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything!” She paused for a moment, Ouma staring at her expectantly. “Actually, I’ve come to take you somewhere. You see, every Tuesday and Thursday we hold group therapy with the participants of the most recent season, and it happens to be starting in a few minutes, so I was wondering if you’d come with me?” The nurse’s tone was light but firm, suggesting that the group therapy wasn’t really optional. Nonetheless, this didn’t stop Ouma from rolling over in his bed and responding with a curt no thanks.

The nurse continued, “It’s… not really optional. It’s required, actually, and most participants seem to be benefiting from it greatly…”

Required, my ass. What’re they gonna do to me if I don’t go?

“...so I strongly recommend that you attend today’s meeting, or else you might get into some legal trouble. Your past self did sign a contract with us, after all.”

“...Then I don’t have a choice, do I?” Ouma grumbled, shoving aside his sheets and dangling his legs off the side of the bed.

“I suppose not… but just give it a try, I’m sure you’ll find some aspect of it that you like!”

Both of them knew that last part was a lie, but, seeing as he had no choice, Ouma decided to prepare himself to leave his room and look presentable for other people. The nurse left after telling him where the meeting was, leaving him to smooth out his hair in front of the mirror and change into a fresh t-shirt and jeans that his pregame self had packed for him. The thought of being associated with anything that his pregame self liked, let alone wearing something he used to like, disgusted him, but he didn’t really have much of a choice there either.

Ouma stole one last look at himself in the mirror before exiting. There were bags under his eyes, despite the nap he just took, and his clothes looked baggy on him. He must have lost some weight after barely eating the meals he was provided with, and in his reflection he somehow looked even smaller than he already was. Deciding that his appearance was the least of his worries, he exited his room and made his way to the room where the meeting was being held.

-------

The other fourteen participants had already gathered in the room where they were meeting for group therapy, as well as the therapist leading the group. All of their seats were arranged in one big circle, one chair still empty as they were still waiting for Ouma. Normally, his absence was to be expected since he woke up last from the simulation and was soon whisked off to the emergency room, though the others did not know this (except for Momota and Saihara). They just assumed that he did not want to come, which wasn’t entirely wrong. But when Ouma hesitantly appeared near the door that was left ajar, peeking into the room cautiously, the room fell silent. No one was expecting him here.

Ouma smirked to himself, finding it amusing how predictable the others always were. Just like when he entered the dining hall the other day, they stared at him with eyes wide and mouth agape, some of them looking more fearful than surprised. The only one who didn’t look surprised was the therapist, who presumably was expecting him.

The therapist running the group was different from the personal therapist that he met with the other day, making Ouma wonder how many different staff members with glasses and clipboards were in this damn hospital.

“Ouma-kun, nice to see you.” This therapist clearly lacked the unnecessary enthusiasm that the nurses often had, which, surprisingly, put Ouma at ease. “Take a seat between Momota-kun and Akamatsu-san, please.”

Staring at the ground, Ouma walked over to the leftover seat and sat down, avoiding Akamatsu’s pitying gaze as he did so. At least Momota didn’t even bother to look at him, feeling too awkward after their last encounter.

“What is he doing here?” Harukawa grit her teeth.

“Relax, princess.” Ouma propped one elbow up on the back of his chair, sitting more casually. “I don’t wanna be here either, ‘kay?”

Harukawa glared at him and crossed her arms, but otherwise said nothing.

Rather than intervening, the therapist simply observed their exchange. She then glanced at her watch and sat up straight, announcing the start of the meeting.

“Well then, I suppose it’s about time we get started.” She looked around the room, observing everyone’s faces. “As you may have already noticed, we have a new member joining us today, meaning that this is our first meeting with all the living participants of the latest season of Danganronpa!” Her gaze fell on Ouma, who was absent-mindedly staring at the ground, wishing he was anywhere but here. “Now, Ouma-kun, I believe a brief introduction to this group would benefit you. As you may have already figured out, this is a safe space where the participants of Danganronpa’s latest season talk about their experience in the simulation, and is often a place where grievances between participants are resolved.”

The therapist then continued to list general guidelines of the group, such as how whatever is mentioned in the group stays in the group, and how everyone must be respectful towards one another.

“I think that covers it all. Is there anything that anyone else would like to add?” She opened the discussion to the rest of the room, allowing anyone to contribute.

“If I may point something out…” Kiibo spoke up, drawing the room’s attention to him. Out of everyone in the room, he was the only one who didn’t have the option to distance themselves from their programmed Ultimate talent, being the Ultimate Robot. “Why hasn’t Ouma-kun been at the previous meetings? I recall seeing him in the dining hall a week or two ago, so he should’ve been able to attend the meetings at those times as well.”

Of course, the topic of discussion just had to be Ouma himself. The former supreme leader expected nothing less to occur at this meeting, but that didn’t make it any less uncomfortable.

“Well, Ouma-kun?” The therapist spoke. “Is there anything you would like to share?”

Ouma’s signature grin had returned, cheshire and taunting.

“Oh, you guys haven’t heard? I totally tried to kill myself! I had a knife and everything!”

Using his reputation as a liar, Ouma merely told the truth, knowing that no one would believe him. He felt Momota stiffen at his side.

“Cut it out, you degenerate! Can’t you tell the truth for two seconds?!” Chabashira cried, instinctively adopting a Neo-Aikido pose with her upper-body.

“But it’s not a lie, Chabashira-chan! I felt sooo bad after what I did during the killing game that I tried to take my own life! Sowwy, but that’s the truth!” Ouma crooned as he tilted his head innocently, poking a finger into his cheek.

“Why you little-”

“Chabashira-san, please!” Akamatsu sounded exasperated, as if the discord in the group physically pained her. “And Ouma-kun… We know that you didn’t want to show up, but suicide is really serious! Please don’t joke about that!”

“Hmm… Nah! Thanks for the suggestion Akamatsu-chan, but I’m gonna keep on lying! Nice try, though!” He smirked, linking his hands behind his head and leaning back in his chair.

“Ouma-kun…” Akamatsu’s gaze was suddenly determined, her gaze firmly settled on Ouma’s face. “Everyone here already knows the truth… How you sacrificed yourself because you wanted to end the killing game… You don’t need to lie anymore.”

And then she looked at him with the most disgusting look Ouma had ever seen.

Her eyes were full of pity, staring at “the poor guy who killed himself to try and end the killing game,” boring into his skull, digging deep into his soul and tearing into his flesh.

He then noticed that everyone in the room was staring at him this way- eyes full of pity and concern, looking down on him, making fun of him.

Ouma felt himself snap, his blood running cold.

“Don’t fucking look at me like that!”

Akamatsu, for all her kindness and determination, fell silent, shocked at Ouma’s sudden outburst.

The whole room just stared at him, gawking at him like a fucking zoo animal.

Ouma stood up violently, digging his fingers into his scalp and closing his eyes.

“Stop staring at me!”

When he opened his eyes, even the therapist looked taken off guard.

“Ouma-kun, please sit down-”

“No! Don’t tell me what to do! I’m leaving!”

Ouma stormed out of the room, leaving a wake of destruction and chaos in the room.

He slammed the door behind him.

-------

Ouma lingered outside of the door for a moment, trying to compose himself. How dare they all pity him like that? Like he was so weak and helpless? It made him sick.

He made his way to his room, pausing outside of the common room when he heard a familiar voice.

“That coulda been a lie, too. He probably just said it so I’d cooperate with him.”

Was that… Momota’s voice?

Ouma stepped into the common room, devoid of all people since group therapy was still taking place. On the TV he saw the familiar trial room of the killing game, along with the remaining survivors before Momota’s execution.

”Was it really a lie…?” Kiibo’s voice spoke, “I think his dying words may have been the honest truth…”

That had certainly piqued Ouma’s interest. After waking up, the participants of Danganronpa’s latest season would watch the trials take place, but since he woke up so late Ouma never had the chance to see how people reacted to his own death. He had heard from the nurses that he and Momota’s plan failed, and how Saihara ultimately ended the killing game, but he never got to witness any of the footage.

”No, it’s definitely a lie. He’s not the type to shed real tears.”

...Thanks, Yumeno-chan. Not like I’m human or anything. 

Ouma watched as they briefly discussed whether or not his dying words were the truth before they moved on, dismissing his sacrifice entirely.

…

Did he really mean that little to them?

No, don’t think like that. You painted yourself as the villain so that they wouldn’t mourn you. You did this to yourself. You deserve this.

As the footage continued, Harukawa confessed her love for Momota, who was sent off with a smile as he climbed into the rocket ship, finally achieving his dream of seeing space with his own two eyes before his illness took his life. Everyone looked dejected after losing their resident optimistic astronaut, joining together in one big training session to lift their spirits.

Funny how Momota’s death had affected them so much, when he spent the killing game lying his ass off just like Ouma did. From lying about his illness, to lying during the fifth trial… Momota was just as much a liar as Ouma was. Yet he was mourned so much more, having been glorified as the hero who was blackmailed into working with Ouma.

The truth is, this is exactly how Ouma planned it to be. He didn’t want anyone to mourn his eventual death, as that would only contribute to their despair. He was perfectly content with no one missing him after he died.

...So then why did it hurt so much?

Not even Saihara, the brilliant detective Saihara who always saw the truth, had anything to say about Ouma’s sacrifice. Not even a “Maybe his last words really were the truth” or a “Thank you for sacrificing yourself, Ouma-kun.” Just a half-assed shrug followed by tears for Momota and Momota only.

No one even acknowledged Ouma’s true intentions, they just brushed over his entire plan in an instant, opting to focus on Momota instead. The hours he spent in his room coming up with different plans of action to take down the mastermind all rendered useless as both his plan A and plan B failed, leaving his entire existence and efforts useless.

Was it selfish to want more?

Was it selfish to want people to have mourned him, even after all the horrible things he did to them, if it was for the greater good?

Of course it’s selfish. You don’t deserve their attention. You don’t even deserve the fucking pity they give you. 

He turned off the TV and went back to his room, having seen enough.

Can’t risk getting caught here being emotional over the simulation. No one can know that the big bag Kokichi Ouma has feelings.

Surprisingly, he didn’t cry. Not when he was in the common room and not when he was back in his own room. Sure, he cried to himself many nights in the simulation, especially after manipulating Gokuhara, but not right now. Instead he felt bitter and hollow, like watching that footage tore a hole straight into his chest where his heart should be.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened. He had just felt so overwhelmed with finding out that the killing game was just a simulation that crying took too much energy- it was easier to just stare at the ceiling, hoping some form of emotion would make its way into his consciousness.

Little did he know, that was about to change.