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rosesmith18 · 3 years ago

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(PnF) Headcanon #4 Boys Basic Info

This post is a follow up to post #3 pertaining to the fireside girls, but you don't need to read that post to understand this post. This post will mainly be basic information pertaining to the male cast of Phineas and Ferb characters in the same age range as the fireside girls. I will likely make a post similar for the older characters, but for now this one is necessary for my plans for post #5. First on the chopping block is, Phineas Flynn: Phineas is an erratic young boy who I believe to have ADHD. He is morally driven though those morals aren't always the best morals. He despises boredom and wasting his time doing things he doesn't enjoy. Full Name: Phineas Philip Flynn Ethnicity: Irish-American Birthday: 1, April, 1997 Hometown: Phineas was born in Danville, USA to parents Linda Flynn & Phelan Flynn. Pets: Phineas & Ferb adopted their pet platypus Perry when they were four years old. School Pursuits: Phineas joins the high school basketball team at the encouragement of his friends despite his worries that it might impede on his & Ferbs’ school inventing. Sexuality: Pansexual Main Ship: Phinbella Second on our character list, Ferbs Fletcher: Ferb is a quiet, thoughtful fellow who very much keeps to himself. He has no trouble speaking his mind, but appreciate that Phineas' personality keeps the attention off of him. He too finds boredom unbearable, and seeks out adrenaline at every turn. Full Name: Ferbs Fletcher Ethnicity: British Birthday: 29, February, 1996 Hometown: Ferbs was born in Chelsea, London to parents Lawrence Fletcher & Freya Salisbury. He moved to Danville with his father in the summer of 1999 to meet Lawrence’s girlfriend Linda Flynn. Pets: Ferb & Phineas adopted their pet platypus Perry when they were four years old. School Pursuits: Ferbs participates in several musical throughout middle school, but his main pursuit is Fencing in high school. Gender/Sexuality: Nonbinary(Him/They)/Bisexual Main Ship: Ferbnessa Followed by, Buford Van Stomm: Buford starts off as the bully of his 'friend' group, though by middle school he has mellowed out quite a bit. His bonds with the brother strength, and he opens up to many of his pent up emotions. Becoming an all around mischievous, but sweet-hearted friend. Full Name: Buford Van Stomm Ethnicity: Dutch-Norwegian Birthday: 3, November, 1997 Hometown: Buford was born in Danville, USA to parents Biffany Van Stomm & Bjørn Jørgensen. Pets: Buford cares deeply for his pet goldfish Biff named after the boy’s own mother Biffany. School Pursuits: Buford starts aiding for the musical troop at their middle school before joining the Drama Club at Danville High his freshman year. Sexuality: Bisexual Main Ship: Buford/Gretchen Baljeet Tijnder: Baljeet is the socially-lost, 'nerd' of the group. He is put off by what most individuals consider fun, but is always intrigued by the brothers inventions. He is often consulted for his mathematical genius. Full Name: Baljeet Tijnder Ethnicity: Indian Birthday: 14, March, 1997 Hometown: Baljeet was born in Bhubaneswar, India to parents Ajil Tijnder & Liya Bhatt. He moved to Danville the year before the series took place(2007) when he was eight. School Pursuits: Baljeet is able to skip his Junior & Senior years of high school due to his intelligences, but does tutor during Freshman & Sophomore. Sexuality: Straight Main Ship: Baljeet/Ginger Django Brown: Django is an artistic child that pursues several avenues of art throughout his life; Graffiti being his route of choice after years of experimenting. He is commonly commissioned by the brothers to produce art to promote their various projects. Full Name: Django Brown Ethnicity: Romani-American Birthday: 23, January, 1997 Hometown: Django was born in Danville, USA to parents Beppo Brown & Leonora Reinhardt. School Pursuits: Django spends middle school & high school broadening his artistic horizons by taking several art classes as well as taking art classes at the local museum. Sexuality: Pansexual Main Ship: Django/Adyson Balthazar Horowitz: Balthazar is an average kid in the city of Danville. He's been the witness to many strange happenings, but his daily life remains unchanged. Full Name: Balthazar Horowitz Ethnicity: American Birthday: 21, September, 1997 Hometown: Danville, USA School Pursuits: Balthazar surprisingly finds himself in the position of high school team mascot later in life. Sexuality: Straight Main Ship: Balthazar/Holly (No, Brigitte isn't male, but I did all the other fireside girl partners in this post, so it's only fair I add Katie's)Brigitte Archambeau: Brigitte is the smart, sassy, mature leader of the French fireside troop 33121. She takes her troop duties seriously, and is not fond of distractions, ironically enough. Full Name: Brigitte Archambeau Ethnicity: Parisian Birthday: 2, February, 1997 Hometown: Paris, France School Pursuits: Brigitte is far too focused on the fireside girls to participate in other after school activities, though she does often times spend her free time aiding other fireside girls in obtaining their patches. Sexuality: Bisexual Main Ship: Brigitte/Katie Irving Du Bois: Irving is a Phineas & Ferb fanboy with skills in website design and data gathering. He is a sort of hermit when not interacting or stalking Phineas and Ferb, though he eventually finds something else to obsess about(OWCA, I mean). Full Name: Irving Du Bois Ethnicity: French-American Birthday: 3, March, 1997 Hometown: Danville, USA School Pursuits: Irving joins the high school newspaper to help him disguises his stalking of both the brothers and some fellow intriguing rabbit holes(Again, OWCA). Sexuality: Asexual Main Ship: Irving/Milly Extra: Thaddeus Weaver: Thaddeus is the self-proclaimed rival of Phineas-though the opposing party has not confirmed this-as well as a young boy obsessed with leaving his mark on the world. He has a quick-temper and is prideful in nature leading to his need to one up Phineas. Full Name: Thaddeus Weaver Ethnicity: American Birthday: 4, September, 1997 Hometown: Thaddeus was born in Salem, Oregon, but his family moved to Danville, USA in the summer of 2010. School Pursuits: Thaddeus' obsession with fame can be sited as partially rooted in his interest towards the rulers of historic times such as Ramesses II. Leading to his attending of historic lectures since third grade. Sexuality: Straight Main Ship: Thaddeus/Adriana(OC) Thor Weaver: Thor is the much more laid back brother contrary to Thaddeus. Unlike his brother, Thor cares little if at all for the fame Thaddeus pursues. Similarly, he cares nothing for the rivalry his brother insist on having with the Flynn-Fletcher duo, though this is something he does not bother to state. Full Name: Thor Weaver Ethnicity: American Birthday: 4, September, 1997 Hometown: Thor was born in Salem, Oregon, but his family moved to Danville, USA in the summer of 2010. School Pursuits: Thor is a pursuer of thoughtlessness, and so enjoys his school afternoons free of demands. Sexuality: Straight Main Ship: Thor/Juno(OC) In summary, these are my personal headcanons for the boys of PnF(along with an exception). Some things I've mentioned will be expanded upon more so in future post such as my OC's. If you have any questions or comments feel free to leave them on the post.

#phineas and ferb #headcanons #phineas flynn #ferb fletcher #buford van stomm #baljeet tjinder #django brown #balthazar horowitz #irving du bois #brigitte #thaddeus weaver #thor weaver #ocs

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themurphyzone · 6 years ago

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Threat Level: PnF Gang

5. Phineas- Kid's a total sweetheart. He couldn't hurt a fly. 4. Buford- Likes projecting a bully aura, but this is to protect the softy with an interest in the French language and filmmaking inside. Only threatening from appearance alone. 3. Baljeet- Scrawny and unassuming, but has transformed into a mini-Hulk and almost wiped out life on earth by removing oxygen from the atmosphere. Just don't enhance him with science or choose plastic over paper and we'll call it a day. 2. Ferb- It's always the quiet ones to watch out for. He's a prodigy in every area and has a mean Vulcan pinch to boot. He's so easy to overlook and underestimate. 1. Isabella- If you want a look at her skillset, just look at her Fireside Girl sash. Her cuteness is absolutely potent, but what sets her at the #1 spot is how she survived on her own during the pharmazombie apocalypse by herself, evading the Doof clones while gathering information on the beam that transformed the mayor, working out the source with trigonometry, providing this vital info to her friends, and being the last person standing (Heinz and Stacy excluded). And unlike everyone else, she didn't use rubber or a disguise.

#phineas and ferb #Isabella Garcia shapiro #Buford van stomm #baljeet tjinder #phineas flynn #Ferb fletcher

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milesfromjapan · 6 years ago

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Fireside Nights

a/n: i really miss it being cold outside and shawn’s hp snapchat gave me feels.

With the fire crackling next to your head, the world felt calm. You sighed contentedly and closed your eyes, letting yourself enjoy the warmth of the fire dancing across your skin. You hummed softly to yourself as a calm came over you before shrugging off your sweater, not needing it anymore since the fire was blazing next to you. You leaned back against the sofa, grateful for moments like these when the world felt far away and all you felt was comfort and warmth and love, so much love.

“Goddamn, you’re beautiful.”

Shawn’s words pulled you out of your head and back to him. You looked over to see him leaned against the doorway, a pair of shorts hanging loosely off his hips and a thin t-shirt clinging to his torso, with two mugs overflowing with marshmallows in his hands. He was so beautiful with his hair completely undone and a lazy smile on his face like that.

“You did not get the big marshmallows,” you practically moaned when you took notice of the large marshmallows floating on top of the mugs, blocking the hot chocolate from view.

“You like them better,” he shrugged, a lazy smile on his face as he handed you your favorite blue mug.

You immediately popped one of the massive marshmallows into your mouth, the hot chocolate that had soaked into it running down your throat, warning you up from the inside. Shawn sat on the pillow-covered ground next to you, his marshmallows bobbing in his mug with his movements. He let out a long sigh of relief when none of it spilled and popped a dripping marshmallow into his mouth as a reward, letting out a satisfied hum at the sweetness.

“10 out of 10,” you laughed. “Master of not spilling his hot chocolate.”

Shawn laughed, but he still had the marshmallow in his mouth so it came out muffled, followed by a choking sound, then more laughter as he tried to keep marshmallow from spraying out of his mouth. You openly laughed at his struggles causing him to feign being hurt, throwing his best puppy dog eyes your way and jutting his bottom lip out. The expression was cute and he knew it, but you didn’t fall for it that time.

“Nope,” you picked up another sticky marshmallow with two of your fingers, “sometimes my role in your life is to laugh at your pain.”

He shook his head before fighting back the marshmallows to take a sip of his hot chocolate.

“You know, hot chocolate is more of a winter-”

“Don’t you dare,” you cut him off. “I needed to wear a jacket outside today, meaning it is hot chocolate weather. Hot chocolate is appropriate whenever I have to wear a jacket.”

Shawn put his free hand up, declaring himself the loser of the argument and resigning to agreeing with your clearly superior opinion. You laughed, which made him laugh again. You loved his laugh. It made your heartbeat pick up just a little and the love you felt for him warm you like your hot chocolate was doing, but deeper down inside you.

“Ready?” he asked you.

“Always.”

Your best Snape impression made him say, "God, you suck,” with a shake of his head. “I think I’ll keep you anyway.”

“Oh please, like I’d let you get rid of me,” you joked back.

He smiled that lazy smile of his that made you roll your eyes as he pressed play on the remote and the familiar music flooded the apartment. You loudly sang along to the notes in a series of ‘dun’ and ‘dah’ noises, probably off-key, but he didn’t care. He just laughed and joined along as much as he laughter would let him. The introductory music to Harry Potter is a classic and you’d fight anyone who disagreed.

You scooted over toward Shawn so your leg was pressed against his, but that clearly wasn’t enough contact for Shawn. He pulled his arms back wide and gestured for you to move to sit in between his legs. He took your hot chocolate from you in an act of self-preservation so you could slide into between his legs without creating a mess all over him. When you settled with your back against his warm chest, you took your hot chocolate back greedily, your fingers begging for the warm cup. He kissed your head, clearly amused by your actions before turning his attention toward the film. You both knew practically every word by heart, but that didn’t mean you watched it absentmindedly. Harry Potter was serious business, even if Half-Blood Prince wasn’t either of your favorite movies. You loved Goblet of Fire. Shawn was partial to Order of the Phoenix.

You drank your hot chocolate slowly, trying to balance savoring each sip and making sure it didn’t get too cold as the movie began. Shawn’s free hand was drawing lazy shapes on your hip under your shirt. He always had a hand on you, keeping you close, but you were pretty sure he didn’t do it consciously. He just liked the way your skin felt under his fingertips. His long, strong arms wrapped around your stomach, securing you to him. His chin rested on your shoulder, his ear pressed against yours.

“Hi there,” you chuckled, reaching a hand up to run your fingers through his messy, chocolate curls, fluffing them up with your actions. “You’re pretty cute.”

“Yeah, well, you’re stunning.”

Shawn kissed your temple before relaxing his head back, full attention returning to the movie with one of his arms around your stomach, keeping you close. As the movie continued, Shawn kept bringing you closer and closer to him until you were basically on top of him, curled into his chest, your head raising and lowering with each breath he took. The fire was still dancing across your skin, which in combination with Shawn, was making you feel warm from head to toe, inside and out. One of his large hands was gently rubbing up and down your back and his eyes were trained on the screen, watching Ron under the influence of a love potion and his subsequent love of a girl he’d never met.

“I was that stupid over you the first time I met you,” Shawn spoke softly. “Everyone thought I was going nuts because I straight up could not stop talking about you.”

You smiled softly before replying, “Oh trust me, the feeling was mutual. I was so into you. My roommates were so sick of hearing about you.”

“You think your roommates were sick of you? Try asking the guys I was writing with then,” he laughed. “Pretty sure they wanted to punch me. I kept asking them for advice and flipping out everytime you texted me. We got, like, nothing done because I was so obsessed about making sure I was doing and saying everything right. Like, a ten-word text would take me fifteen minutes to figure out.”

“And you’re supposed to be good at expressing your emotions,” you joked. “I just flew by the seat of my pants, to be honest. If I thought too much, I never would’ve texted you back.” You looked up at him before asking, “Any chance you’ve got chocolate and graham crackers to go with the extra marshmallows?”

“Yes to the chocolate, definitely no to the graham crackers,” he replied. “Sorry, babe.”

“Roasted marshmallows then?” you asked.

“Down for whatever you want to do.”

He kissed your head as you snuggled back into his chest. You were wrapped up in him, his heartbeat making you feel steady and loved. The crackling of the fire in combination with one of your favorite movies with one of your favorite people was making your heart feel so full as the movie came to a close. The credits began to roll across the screen and you rolled out of Shawn’s grasp, stretching out, unstiffening joints that hadn’t moved on almost two hours. A crack from Shawn’s direction let you know he was doing exactly what you were doing. Turns out, he was doing it faster because he reached out from above you and hoisted you up off the ground, making you squeal and him laugh loudly.

He half-carried, half-dragged you toward the kitchen, your sock-covered feet skating across the slick flooring. When you got to the kitchen, you could see the bag of marshmallows waiting on the counter. Shawn’s fingers laced in between yours as you reached the counter, his strong arms controlling yours as he made you reach for the marshmallows, stopping you just inches short of your sugary sweet goal.

“Are you having trouble there?” Shawn teased. “Just grab them, babe. Come on. This is easy! Just grab the marshmallows!”

You whined and slammed your back against his chest, making him stumble back half a step and a lough laugh escape his throat. You’d been hearing that beautiful sound a lot tonight and it made your heart happy each time you heard it. He finally surrendered, releasing your hands to allow you to capture your prize. You sighed in relief, holding the bag tightly in your hands, before letting Shawn guide you back to your spot in front of the fire.

“You said you’d never use these,” you sang softly as you spiked a marshmallow with a roasting stick, “but yet, here we are.”

“I literally only use these with you and when I’m drunk,” Shawn countered before copying your movements as you started to roast your marshmallow, keeping it just above the flames so it didn’t burn. “These are definitely still a gift for you in disguise as a gift for me.”

“I can’t hear you over the sound of my marshmallow starting to melt.”

Shawn scoffed before he stuck his marshmallow directly into the flames, lighting it on fire. He liked his burnt, one of his major flaws. He pulled the marshmallow out once it was blackened to his liking and quickly put the flames out so it didn’t char past what he wanted. You were patient, letting your marshmallow gently brown over the flames, toasting the edges softly. Shawn cursed as he bit down on the marshmallow and you snorted.

“Well, you set it on fire. Of course it’s hot,” you informed him with a roll of your eyes.

“You know, I didn’t ask for you,” Shawn teased back. “Maybe I’ll return you. I just gotta find the receipt.”

“Nah, you’ve passed the ninety-day limit on returns, so you’ve got to keep me,” you countered easily.

“Damn,” Shawn laughed, unable to keep a straight face anymore.

You shoved his shoulder playfully. He barely kept his black marshmallow from hitting the ground as he stumbled to the side, catching his weight on his forearm. He glared at you before shoving you back. You were prepared for his retaliation and you barely budged. Shawn huffed in annoyance before popping his definitely still too hot marshmallow into his mouth just as you pulled your superiority toasted one from above the fire.

You blew on your marshmallow for a minute as Shawn lit his second one on fire, popping it into your mouth when it was sufficiently cooled, humming in pleasure at the warm, sugary, sticky goodness.

“Marshmallows are straight from heaven,” you informed Shawn as he repeated his mistakes from his first marshmallow, burning his mouth again with his second one.

“You must have brought them with you when you came down.”

Shawn’s face was smug, a smile playing at the corner of his lips as he relished in his corny joke. You rolled your eyes as slowly and in the most exaggerated manner you could, making him bark out a laugh as you started to properly roast your second. Lightly brown was the way to go. He could burn marshmallows in front of you for the rest of your life, but you’d always make fun of him for it.

Shawn put his stick aside and slid behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and tucking his face into your neck. You felt his chest expand against your back as he took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, his breath fanning out across your skin, as he relaxed into you. You felt the tension melting from his shoulders with each passing second. You took your free hand and softly rubbed one of his forearms.

“I love you,” you told him softly. “You’re my little snug bug.”

Shawn chuckled against your skin and placed a gentle kiss there before replying, “I love you too, even if you might prefer marshmallows to me.”

tag list: @another-hopeless-daydreamer

#shawn mendes #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fluff #boyfriend!shawn #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes writings #shawn mendes writing

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jeminy3 · 6 years ago

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FIRESIDE - Chapter 2

2. there's all these secrets that I can't keep.

like in my heart there's that hotel suite

and you lived there so long

it's kinda strange, now you're gone

There's not enough stuff exploring how exactly each member of Team Mustang got their positions under him, so I had an idea and ran with it.

WARNINGS: war and death mentions, fatalistic talk/thinking, threats

Read on AO3

Read on Google Docs

Ch. 1 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5

- Roughly 8 years ago -

Jean Havoc always thought of himself and his life in one word: simple.

A simple boy from a simple town, born to simple shopkeepers, making a simple living at whatever he was good at. Which was helping out in the family business at first, but after hitting hard times as simple families tend to do, he drafted himself and became a soldier. And for that, there were really only three things you had to be good at: fighting, following orders, and giving them.

He grew into a simple man with simple desires: fight some wars, get a girl, settle down, have some kids, and live a good, simple life like his parents did.

So he was a bit surprised when his humble contingent was selected to serve in East Headquarters under a newly-promoted Lieutenant Colonel by the name of Roy Mustang. He could call it good fortune, but he'd rather blame it on this new commander being shockingly young for the position (barely in his mid-twenties, like Havoc himself), so he probably didn't know any better.

...But maybe he did, since he was also the famed Flame Alchemist and, as the military called him, "The Hero of Ishval."

Havoc and his men were at the very outskirts of the Ishvalan Civil War, but they all heard the stories - awful, terrible stories. After spending enough years in the service, you get sort of numb to stuff like this, but Ishval was an exception in just how... grisly the whole thing was from beginning to end. An entire subset of Amestrian civilians all but wiped from the face of the earth completely, just for trying to push back against unfair treatment from their own government.

Tensions had been rising since Havoc's parents were young, and maybe one could argue that both sides were guilty parties, but all Havoc was concerned about was the fallout. Hundreds dead, even more missing, many of them women, children, elders. In a word - innocents. People that the military were supposed to protect, last time he checked.

Havoc never said it out loud - not even to his own family - but any real, genuine pride he had in his country was gone at this point. He didn't sign up to serve a military that slaughtered innocent people like butchers, no matter how they tried to justify it.

Something needed to change, and fast, before anything worse happens - but alas, if only he were a smarter man. Right now, Havoc was merely the Corporal of a small group of soldiers, and any hopes of making earth-shattering changes to make his country a righteous place again were far-away dreams. But a dream's a dream, he supposes.

He holds onto that hope, small as it is, as he stands abreast his team in East Headquarters' courtyard, all equally tense as Mustang approaches them. They all knew the gist of what this so-called "Hero" did to earn his title and rank, so none of them were particularly looking forward to meeting him - especially not Havoc.

He certainly looks the part, Havoc thinks, as Mustang inspects his contingent one by one. He stands tall and firm, as intimidating a presence as any old General. Especially with his face - stony and expressionless, no doubt hardened by the slaughter he'd participated in.

He won't be broken, Havoc thinks, as Mustang curtly announces the end of his inspection for all to hear. He's made it this far, this hotshot new commander won't scare him. ...Even if he could turn him and his men into cinders with a snap of his fingers, supposedly. He's not nervous...

...Well, just a little bit.

He resists the urge to swallow as Mustang stops in front of him, holds his gaze for a moment, his dark eyes looking out between thin strands of black hair. Something smolders in them, a fire that's probably as black as his soul - piercing, burning, studying. Despite himself, Havoc feels a prickle of heat go up the nape of his neck.

And then, to his surprise, Mustang smiles. "You have good men here, Corporal Havoc," he says, warm and genuine.

Havoc blinks, stammers, but only for a moment. He quickly straightens himself and salutes. "Th- Thank you, Lieutenant Colonel Mustang, sir."

Mustang's smile widens slightly, softening his eyes. "Just Mustang or Lieutenant Colonel will do, Corporal."

Havoc blinks again. Huh... maybe he's not as scary as he first thought.

---

The next several months are relatively peaceful for Havoc and his men. Serving under Mustang, they find themselves usually sent out for small-time reconnaissance missions and general peacekeeping in the immediate area. It's odd, compared to what they're used to - most commanders are eager to send them out to fight in the nearest conflict, or as reinforcements for a bulwark or occupied town.

Nonetheless, Havoc finds it a relief and counts this as a blessing in disguise, as it's given him plenty of spare time to scope out East City's dating scene. But he's still not quite sure what to think of his new superior.

Mustang seemed so serious at first, but since settling in, he doesn't do much besides the usual office work - inspections, meetings, phone calls, and mountains of paperwork that he's notoriously slow at. And when he isn't working he's a total goof-off, flirting with any attractive woman who crosses his path, going out to bars and taking the women he's wooed out for nights on the town.

He even chats with girls on the phone during work hours! Good grief! Havoc had some discretion when it came to girls, this guy was just shameless!

Havoc's been trying to figure him out for a while. Even now, as he takes his usual afternoon smoke in the break room, seated in a chair near the back. Mustang just... rubs him the wrong way. Like what's his deal? Is he even trying to take his job seriously? No, he must be, he's practically a decorated veteran after Ishval... He just isn't acting like it.

Acting... Hm. Havoc shifts his jaw, bothering his cigarette with his teeth, pondering. That's gotta be what he's doing - an act. Pretending to be a lazy, good-for-nothing skirt-chaser, because...

...Because he's a heartless murderer getting fat off his blood money, like every other commander from Ishval.

- And suddenly the break room door creaks and moves, jostling Havoc from his thoughts and nearly sending him right out of his skin. Even more alarming is who's walking in - Lt. Colonel Mustang himself.

He shuffles in, looking somewhat drained as he nonchalantly pushes the ajar door further open, gazing distantly across the room before catching sight of Havoc. His dark eyes brighten, and he smiles warmly. "Ah- Hello, Havoc," he says.

"Uh, hey- I mean hello, sir," Havoc says, remembering his formalities in time to quickly correct himself and give a half-hearted salute.

Mustang only chuckles dismissively as he strides in, holding the door open for a moment to allow someone else in with him - and sure enough, following closely behind him is 2nd Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, his personal aide and bodyguard.

Havoc's wary of her as well, since her face is as stern and unreadable as Mustang's was the day he met him - except she looks like that all the time. She sticks to Mustang's side like glue, assisting him with daily tasks and accompanying him on official outings, her cold brown eyes always stoic and alert for potential danger.

...But usually, she's just standing by Mustang's desk, watching him as closely as her namesake to ensure his paperwork is completed before the end of the century.

After Havoc's occasional sightings of her practicing at the shooting range, it's obvious that she lives up to the title she earned in Ishval - 'The Hawk's Eye', a sniper who never misses her mark. According to rumors, she graduated ahead of her class before she was even twenty years old to be deployed there, and she's supposedly a good friend of Mustang's from those days.

...In other words, she's another murderer of innocents. More tragic here, since she's an awfully pretty young woman to be so heartless.

That's not what's bothering Havoc, though. What's weird is that Mustang and Hawkeye rarely show up in the break room, much less together. Something's not right here - but Hawkeye gives nothing away, as usual, and greets him with a silent nod before moving to the counter to use the coffee pot and surrounding cupboards.

Meanwhile, Mustang plops himself down into one of the cheap chairs near the center of the room, but not too far from where Havoc's seated. The oncoming summer heat seems to be getting to him, as he loosens a few of his uniform's buttons and pulls it apart, exposing his undershirt and some of his neck.

"God... all this paperwork's killing me," he says with a deflating sigh, sinking back into the chair.

"I'd think you'd be prepared for the workload, sir," Havoc responds, smirking in his direction.

"I guess I should have been," Mustang says, shrugging nonchalantly.

After a pause, he looks over, jerking his chin. "So, how's your day been, Corporal?"

Havoc raises an eyebrow. Small talk, huh? Sure, he'll play along. He makes a show of relaxing as well, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs.

"Oh, same as usual. Training the new guys, keeping the older ones busy, seein' as we aren't getting a whole lot of action lately." He side-eyes Mustang, hoping he gets the clue.

Mustang purses his lips, nodding. He doesn't seem to catch it. "Mm. Good to hear. Are the new recruits doing well?"

"Well enough."

"Good, good... Any complaints so far?"

"Nothing much, besides the usual. Weather sucks, uniforms're too stuffy, y'know."

Mustang looks down at his own open uniform. "Well I can vouch for that," he says, chuckling heartily. Havoc joins in with his own forced laughter.

But the mirth dies as quickly as it came, and an awkward silence settles in, broken only by the bubbling of the coffee pot and Hawkeye idly tapping the counter. Havoc shifts, but says nothing, hoping that Mustang will break the silence with whatever business he's really here for.

Sure enough, Mustang glances around awkwardly before meeting Havoc's eyes again. He studies him for a moment, then leans forward slightly.

"Ah... How about we drop the titles for a few moments, Jean? Talk man-to-man, as it were."

Havoc blinks at him. "Huh?"

"Lieutenant, if you please." Mustang lifts a hand, signaling to Hawkeye, and she nods, turns off the coffee pot and strides over to the break room door. She locks and closes it with an ominous click, then stands firmly next to it, stern and wary as always. Meanwhile, Mustang leans forward, rests his elbows on his knees, interlocking his fingers. He narrows his eyes - and now that old flame's back in them. That burning, studying look that Havoc saw months ago.

Havoc swallows lightly as he looks between him and Hawkeye, feeling every bit like a wild 'coon caught in a trap it didn't see coming. He does his best to keep a straight face even as his heart begins to thump in his ears.

"...What's this about, Mustang?"

Mustang shrugs lightly. "Oh, not much. I just wanted to ask you something."

His mouth drying out and the room closed off, Havoc wisely decides to take his cigarette out of his mouth and put it out against his boot. After tossing it into his ash tray, he sits back, jerking his chin. "...A'right, then. Shoot."

Something sparkles in Mustang's dark eyes, and he smirks. "What do you think of me, Havoc? Be honest."

...Well that's a loaded question if he ever heard one, Havoc thinks. Your boss locks you into a room with him and his bodyguard and demands your honest opinion of him? May as well be asking, 'where'd you like me to leave your body - the city dump, or a river?'

Havoc shifts his jaw, despite not holding a cigarette in his mouth anymore. If he lies, Mustang will probably see right through it and press him harder. But if he's honest like Mustang wants him to be, there's a chance he'll go easy on him for complying. And he may as well get some things off his chest.

Havoc leans forward, stares his boss dead in the eye and says evenly,

"...Honestly? I think you're full of shit, Mustang."

You could hear a pin drop in the ensuing silence.

Mustang's smile doesn't waver, though. Even widens a little. "...Really, now?"

Not angry, huh? Well, Havoc may as well get it all out. "Yeah. You came in here all serious and shit months ago, but all you do is sit on your ass and goof off with chicks all day. And I can understand that as another man, but you? You're shameless."

Mustang just nods slowly. What, is- is he actually liking this? Bastard... Havoc feels the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Feeling braver - and angrier - he continues.

"That's not all. Your so called 'heroics' in Ishval? My men and I, we heard the stories. We heard what the grunts saw, not the Generals. You were a monster. Whole villages reduced to dust with a few little flicks of your fingers. Men, women, children, everyone. Dead."

Mustang's smile drops into a thin line, but he's still nodding. Havoc feels his blood boiling at this point, clenching his hands on his knees.

"And I don't know about you, sir, but I like to think that what I do is honorable. I uphold the law, I protect people. Citizens. Those Ishvalans? They were citizens too, under the law. Y'all can call it a war till yer blue in the face but as far as I'm concerned, that was a massacre."

Finally, something dark and distant passes over Mustang's face, and he stops nodding.

"...Yes, it was," he says, almost whispering.

Havoc jerks to his feet, fists clenched, ignoring how Hawkeye tenses at the door. "So you agree, then? That yer a goddamn murderer without a drop of remorse in yer goddamn body?!"

Mustang only frowns in response, still staring at him. Then he slowly rises to his feet, carefully readjusting and closing his uniform. He says nothing.

Havoc can't stand this anymore. "Well?! You gonna say something to defend yourself? Or- Or maybe you already know there's no point, after what you've done."

Mustang regards him for a moment, then reaches a hand into his pants pocket. Havoc feels a rush of panic - he knows he keeps his Alchemy gloves there. He's watched Mustang use them here and there at official demonstrations: he'll coolly walk into the center of an arena, pull his white gloves out of his pockets and onto his hands, red transmutation circles emblazoned on their backs. Then with a snap and a flash of light, he'll summon tongues of flames and explosions of any size and force he wants.

This is it, Havoc thinks. He's going to die here. But he'll be damned if he doesn't go down swinging.

Despite the fear gripping every bit of his body and sending him deep into the throes of his fight-or-flight response, he strides toward Mustang, sidling up so his chest is almost flush with his own, daring to put his face right in front of his.

"So that's it, huh? You gonna kill me now?" Havoc hisses, narrowing his eyes.

Mustang jerks back at the sudden closeness, but stands his ground. He lifts his head to meet Havoc's eyes, and at this distance, Havoc can see every detail of his face clearly. The creases around his eyelids, the sharp pupils of his black eyes, the sweat building on his brow. He can even feel the quick breaths from Mustang's nose against his lips.

Havoc jerks his eyes and head toward Hawkeye at the door, still speaking in a low, dark voice. "Didn't want your goon over there to get her hands dirty, right? I've seen 'er at the shooting range, best shot I've ever seen. But you know that'd leave too much of a mess, don't you? So instead yer gonna turn me into a nice li'l pile o' dust so I clean up nice an' easy."

Mustang only narrows his eyes, but Havoc can sense his breath hitching slightly, see his throat working, his lips pressing together. At this distance he can see that they're not as thin as Havoc assumed, sort of... soft, pliable. Pink-ish in color. And Mustang's actually significantly shorter than him, Havoc realizes vaguely, so it wouldn't take much, just a jerk of his chin and a lean forward, and he could-

...Wait, what is he-

Havoc jerks back, puffs out his chest, pushes away a vaguely flustered feeling that he blames on his highly emotional state. He keeps his eyes even with Mustang's.

"W- well do it, then," he sniffs. "I've said my piece. I got no regrets."

There's a beat of silence, the tension so palpable that Havoc can hardly breathe anymore. He glances between Mustang's hand still in his pocket and his face, his expression still unreadable. Havoc keeps his face tight, defiant. His senses fade around him, and all that seems to exist now is him, Mustang, and the sound of his heart in his ears. He flinches as Mustang's hand suddenly moves again, and pulls out-

A napkin.

...Wait, what?

Havoc just... stares, slack-jawed, as Mustang wipes his brow with the napkin, sighs long-sufferingly, then deposits it back into his pocket. Then he looks back up, clearing his throat, looking very tired, suddenly.

"No, Jean... My days of being a murderer are over," he says thoughtfully.

Havoc... doesn't know how to respond.

Mustang leans on one hip, lifts a finger to point at him. "You are right, though. About everything. And if I'd intended to get rid of you, that's probably how I would've done it. You're a smart man, Jean."

Havoc just... gapes at him. "Y... You're not- What?"

Mustang lowers his hand, smirking. "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you. Either of us."

Then he straightens and folds his arms behind his back, smiling serenely. "Sorry for the scare, I just uh- needed to test you. And I must say, you passed with flying colors, Jean. In fact, I'm thinking of giving you a promotion, if you don't mind."

"T... T- Test?" Havoc stammers uselessly, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. He looks between him and Hawkeye at the door and- Wait, is she smiling? Holy shit, she is. For once, Hawkeye's stern face wears a small, knowing smile, and her eyes are warm and mirthful instead of cold and distant.

When he looks back at Mustang, his eyes sparkle with inner laughter as well. "Has it ever occurred to you, Jean, that there is more to me than meets the eye?"

Havoc stammers again. "I- yeah, but... But you... and Ishval..."

The sparkles fade, along with Mustang's smile. "Yes, I did do all those things in Ishval. And I can tell you now that not a single part of me is proud of that, any of it. But if anything decent's come out of that hellhole, it's this-"

Mustang unfolds his arms, taps his forehead with a finger. "A plan. One that, if successful, will see me rising to the highest echelons of this godforsaken government, where I can enact change that will turn this country into something that both of us can be proud of again. A place of peace and justice, where the Ishvalan War, or any war, will never happen again. No more innocents will die, Havoc. I can promise you that."

Havoc feels his eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. "You- You don't mean... the Führer?"

Mustang nods, his eyes burning again. "Oh yes. I do."

He glances and nods in Hawkeye's direction. "But I can't do it alone. I need people on my side to help me get there. People I can trust, not just with my life or my orders, but with my ambitions. This will be dangerous in every possible sense, Jean."

Then Mustang's smile returns in its brightest form yet as he regards Havoc, puffing out his chest and lifting his chin, looking at him as if he were something... special. Like a grand treasure he's just discovered, a trophy he's won.

"...But from what I've seen? I think you're up for it," he says.

Havoc just... stares at him, breathless again. What he'd thought was a cage meant to kill him was a challenge that he'd risen to meet without even realizing it. He'd guessed correctly that his superior was putting on an act, but he'd misjudged his intentions completely - Mustang made himself seem lazy and shameless not to hide his inhuman cruelty, but so no one would ever suspect the earth-shattering ambitions hidden beneath his surface. Not his superiors, and certainly not his own subordinates. And maybe that in itself, the misjudgment, was part of the act too.

Something swells in Havoc's chest, and it must be pride, he thinks. Mustang was trusting him, simple ol' Jean Havoc, with those ambitions now. No one else, besides Hawkeye.

He's... Mustang... He's nothing short of incredible. There's no doubt about that, now.

...But he's not worth spacing out over like an idiot, Havoc realizes, and he blinks himself back into existence before he makes himself look even more foolish. He straightens quickly, and gives Mustang the best salute he can muster. "I- I- I'll do my best, Lieutenant Colonel Mustang sir!"

"I know you will," Mustang says, still smiling at him. "Now, let's head back to my office. There's much to discuss."

And that was how Havoc gained the title of 2nd Lieutenant, and more importantly, an absolute shitload of admiration and respect for his superior.

#jeanroy #royvoc #royhavoc #roy mustang #jean havoc #jeminy writes

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fardell24b · 3 years ago

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Candace OWCA Agent - Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror

Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror

“Good Morning, Agent M,” Monogram said. “Lawn gnomes across the Tri-State Area are disappearing, leaving thousands of gardens unprotected against black magic. We suspect Doofenshmirtz. Get right on it.”

‘Are you sure it’s Doofenshmirtz, not someone else?’ Candace thought as the screen changed.

‘Doofenshmirtz not present in his building.’

“Then where is he?”

Stacy Hirano and Jenny Brown arrived at the Flynn-Fletchers. They saw Phineas and Ferb put the finishing touches on the beach they were constructing. “Hey, Where’s Candace?” Stacy asked as she came up to Phineas.

“I’m not sure. She was inside earlier,” Phineas said.

“I know she was,” Stacy said, thinking on what she had been saying about Suzy and Katie. She knew that Candace didn’t really spend time with either of them. “But I wanted to tell her that we passed Jeremy and his buddies with their surf boards.”

“Cool,” Phineas said.

Stacy glanced at the water, where she could see her overachiever sister with the other Fireside Girls in her troop. She supressed a sigh and turned to Jenny. “Let’s see if Candace is in her room before we go to the water.”

“Sure,” Jenny said.

Candace had disguised herself as a lawn gnome before waiting at the side of the house. Phineas and Ferb had outdone themselves again. The beach was totally bustable! She had seen Stacy and Jenny talking to Phineas but hadn’t heard what Stacy was saying. She sighed. Then suddenly she was falling. Doofenshmirtz had fallen for her plan.

Jenny knocked on Candace’s door. No response. She looked to Stacy, who shrugged, so she opened the door. “She’s not here,” she said.

“I’ll call her,” Stacy said.

As she arrived where Doofenshmirtz was, Candace felt her phone vibrate. She knew it was Stacy, but there was no option but to let it go to voicemail.

“Wow, that’s a large one!” Doofenshmirtz said, as he came to Candace.

“Guess again, Doofenshmirtz!”

“A teenage girl?” Doofenshmirtz said, confused. “You sound familiar…”

Candace whipped off her disguise.

“CANDACE FLYNN the teenage agent!?”

“That’s me! Your nemesis,” Candace said in a dour tone.

“You are mine now!” Doof said as he held up a remote. He pressed the button, but a garage door rolled up.

“Of course,” she said. She pressed a button on her watch, and the location of the room was indicated. It was beneath the empty lot next door to home. Below where Phineas and Ferb had created their beach, but at a higher level than her OWCA Lair. Both were accessible to the cave system that permeated the ground beneath Danville.

“No, you are mine now!” A television turned on.

“Get on with it,” Candace said.

“Wait, Agent Flynn. You are mine now!” A cage then came down.

She looked over it, as she waited for Heinz to tell her another part of his terrible past.

Stacy waited before calling Candace a second time. Then a third time. “That’s strange,” she said. She turned to Jenny and found that she was looking out the window towards the beach.

“Maybe she’s down there now,” Jenny said. “I hope Phineas and Ferb have used fresh water!”

“Only one way to find out,” Stacy said as she went to the door. “And hopefully we’ll find Candace.”

Jeremy Johnson arrived at the Flynn Fletchers. The beach that the boys had created looked just like a real one. ‘Wow!’ he thought. He knew he would get some surfing in. Then he saw Stacy Hirano and Jenny Brown come out of the house. He waved. They both came over. “Hi, Stacy,” he said.

“Hi, Jeremy,” Stacy said. “Doing some surfing, I see.”

“Yes.”

“By yourself?” Stacy asked.

“Probably,” Jeremy said. ‘Is Candace here?’ he wondered.

“Let’s get this beach party started!” Phineas said.

“Wave machines?” Jeremy said. “They’ve gone all out,” he said to Stacy and Jenny.

Jenny dipped her finger in the water and licked it. “Fresh Water!”

“Environmentally friendly too,” Jeremy said.

“Wouldn’t want sea salt getting into the groundwater,” Jenny said.

“But I still can’t see Candace,” Stacy said. “Maybe she’s hiding…”

Backyard Beach.

Candace listened as Heinz told her more of his past. “…But those were lean times for my father and our beloved lawn gnome was repossessed. Who would protect our zatzenfruit garden from those witches, spells and wood trolls? From a tender age, my father decided that it would be me. Like if he saw me moving…. ‘Bewegen Sie nicht!’ he would say in an urgent and condescending tone! While the other children played Kick-the-Schtumpel and eat Doonkelberries, I would stand for hours…”

“She’s still not here…” Stacy considered as she watched Jenny’s brother join the surfing contest that had started.

“Maybe she’s getting their mom,” Jenny pointed out.

“I certainly wouldn’t put that past her,” Stacy considered.

“We could call her again…” Jenny stopped and then exclaimed. “That Buford!”

“What?” Stacy asked. She looked and saw the van Stomm boy laying into Django on his surfboard, just before the two of them were wiped out. “Ginger says he’s been getting more annoying.”

Jenny ran to the water, where Django crawled out. “Are you OK?” she asked.

Django stood up, allowing Jenny to hug him, as she glared at Buford.

“…Oh, Kids today and their holographic projections,” Stanky Dog said.

Phineas won the surfing competition. He looked over to where Ferb was organising activities. It was a good day!

Jeremy came to Stacy and Jenny again. “Was your brother OK?” he asked.

“He’s fine now,” Jenny answered. “But that Buford, something needs to be done.”

“I’m not sure what,” Jeremy said. ‘Although he is afraid of Suzy for some reason.’ That wouldn’t help.

“We’re going to see if Candace comes home,” Stacy said.

“Sure.”

35 - 45 feet below, Candace looked at the Destructinator after Heinz had revealed it. She picked the lock of the cage with her hairpin and moved into action. “You’re not taking out your frustrations on the people of Danville!”

“Haven’t you said something like that before?” Heinz asked.

“Uh!” Candace said as she leapt at Heinz.

After a brief tussle, the setting on the Inator changed from ‘suck’ to ‘blow’.

‘Uh oh!’ Candace thought. She knew what happened when settings were changed on an Inator. ‘Where’s the self-destruct button?’

Back on the beach, a mound appeared in the water. “Is that a volcano?” Isabella Garcia-Shapiro asked incredulously. She didn’t think Phineas would do something too dangerous.

Then lawn gnomes began erupting from the mound. “Gnomes!” Stanky Dog cried out. “It’s Gnomageddon!”

‘Really?’ Isabella thought as people started running.

“Here it is,” Candace said as she pressed the self-destruct button. “See you, Heinz. Agent Flynn is out!” She then made herself scarce.

“Curse you, Candace Flynn!”

The Destructinator then exploded…

As a result of the Destructinator exploding, the cave began to collapse. ‘Uh oh!’ Heinz said before making himself scarce.

The collapse of the cave below caused the water at the beach to drain away. It was fortunate that the explosion of lawn gnomes had caused the people to vacate the water. “Looks like the beach party’s over,” Phineas said.

“At least everyone was out of the water,” Isabella said.

“That was quite lucky.”

As Candace emerged from one of her lair tunnels into the backyard. “Hi, Mom!”

“Is something going on there?” her mother asked.

“Phineas and Ferb have built a beach!”

“I know!”

“With wave machines and everything!”

“Really Candace? I will be there in a minute.”

“Yes!” She said as she hung up. She turned around and saw that people were leaving. “What happened?” she asked Phineas.

“Lawn gnomes erupted everywhere, and then the water drained away,” Phineas explained. He pressed a remote and the side fence folded up.

“Candace!” Stacy called out.

Candace turned and saw Stacy, along with Jenny and …Jeremy! She blushed.

“Where were you?” Stacy asked as she ran uo.

“Um, I was a little busy…” Candace dissembled.

“I called a few times!” Stacy said.

“Oops!” Candace said.

“You missed a spectacular beach party,” Jeremy said.

“Really?” Candace asked.

“Your brothers went all out,” Jenny answered.

“I heard,” Candace added.

Linda Flynn entered the backyard to see nothing unusual. Candace was being her usual self. “Hey boys!”

“But but but!”

#candace flynn #fanfic #francis monogram #heinz doofenshmirtz #isabella garcia-shapiro #jenny brown #jeremy johnson #lawn gnome beach party of terror #linda flynn #phineas and ferb #phineas flynn #stacy hirano

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ferbracket · 1 year ago

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Doofenshmirtz Bracket Incorporated

Fireside Girls Disguise

Domestic

#pnf #phineas and ferb #doofenshmirtz #heinz doofenshmirtz #polls #polls on tumblr #tournament polls #Doofenbracket #Night of the Living Pharmacists #She's The Mayor #Fireside Girls Disguise #Domestic #0xdv0x22 #Doofenbracket Round 3

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t-thehistorian-in-training · 5 years ago

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1. Oh god, I honestly have no idea. I remember in 5th grade telling everyone I wanted to be a geologist because I liked fossils but in all honestly I hated the math and science behind that. I just wanted to look at the old animals and plants. I can remember in 3rd grade my best friend going to colonial Williamsburg after the American girl doll felicity. I was jealous of her trip, and the movie made me upset because it didn’t talk in detail about the American Revolution. I would come home from elementary school and ask to watch documentaries.

2. History major

3. Colonial America until about the Spanish American war.

4. Um I am still super new to learning everything I can sooo.. Deborah Sampson. She disguised herself as a man and fought in the AmRev.

5. I LOVE IT. That’s my concentration/focus of my history major . There is so much strategy and interconnectedness through war and the military. Advancements of battlefield technology lead to better medical practices, modern nation building.

6. How do we know the one hanging up in my room isn’t the real one?

7. I wouldn’t want to change how anything happened. I think everything happens for a reason. I would love to hear Washington’s farewell speech, Lincoln’s Gettysburg address, FDR’s fireside chats, Patrick Henry, walk the streets of 1700’s Boston.

8. Nelson Mandela. From the little I know about him he is amazing and I love him so much. I feel like even with out drinking any conversation I could (have) had with him would have been incredible.

9. I haven’t written many history papers to be honest. (My high school teachers never required it and I haven’t actually starts talking any classes for my major yet, just my GenEd’s). I have made a 15 minute video on the Culper spy ring and why they were so critical in the AmRev. It discusses what would have happened if their intelligence failed to reach Washington or if they were ever uncovered.

10. I love the Culper Spy Ring, and so little is actually known about a few of the members. Intelligence collection and espionage are super cool. But I would also be interested in the military history or martial law of the colonies before the revolution and how that impacted day to day life.

-HISTORY QUESTIONNAIRE-

1. When did your love for history begin?

2. Are you a history major? minor? (If not, what are you studying)

3. What is your favorite era to study/learn about?

4. Favorite historical woman and why

5. What are your thoughts on military history?

6. Would you steal the Declaration of Independence?

7. Would you rather time travel back to a historical moment and just relive it or go back and change the outcome of it?

8. If you could get black out drunk with a hisotrical figure who would it be and why?

9. What’s the longest history paper you’ve ever written?

10. If you could write a book about any event or person who would it be and why?

#t talks #history

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pafsins2 · 8 years ago

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Everything Wrong and Right With Night of the Living Pharmacists

SINS:

1.The production code of the previous episode,SAve Summer, was 427/428. This episode's production code is 430/431. What happened to 429?

2.”Night of the Living Pharmacists” As opposed to the daytime, when all pharmacists are dead.

3.None of the other specials this overblown, but the throwaway Zombie episode needed one I guess.

4.The netflix version splits this into 2 parts, which is still a sin, but for some reason half of the writer credits are shown on part 1, while the other half were on part 2. That's not how the writers worked on the shows' specials, they all have hand in all of it, not some split into a certain part. And they do this with none of the other specials!

5.Aliki Theofilopoulos's name is misspelled. This was actually corrected in rerurns...but this mistake is kept in the Netflix version. Ugh.

6.Obvious CGI is obvious

7.A fake out scare in the first scene

8.It seems to evening, why are the only just working on the big idea now?

9.This Isabella plot becomes pointless if you watch the season in production order, as it comes after Act Your Age

10.Was there not an easier way to get bubbles in the tub

11.Also, Monogram is a dick to carl.

12.Yet another Roger plan.

13.”-I wanna keep the DVD and the VCR” A teen in 2014 has a VCR and wants it?

14.Vanessa doesn't let Candace finish her sentence. What a jerk.

15.Candace never calls Linda about where she's going, and we never see them worrying about her.

16.So...the Ugly Inator....again?

17.”This particular inator requires a lot more power than any other Inator I've created for some bizarre reason” The reason is contrived writing.

18.The Netflix captions call Norm “Norman”.

19.”It's a callback to something I didn't hear . In your face, logic!” The writers likely say that a lot.

20.Quirky Worky song

21. It took too long to give Ariel Winter, I mean Gretchen, a song.

22.One of the teens is voiced by Bella Thorne. She gets nothing to do.

23.We've never seen most of these friends before. Even if they were somehow in Brain Drain, they don't appear with her like they do here.

24.Who mistakes a bruise for nail polish?

25.We're still using the 'Vanessa is embarrassed by Doof” stuff, eh?

26.Show-ception.

27.This Stacy subplot is fun but clearly padding, just that one in Save Summer.

28.That's what you get for giving their nemesis tons of time to escape.

29.So Repulsive=Zombie that turns people into other zombies. K/.

30.Doof is self aware of he's not self aware. So meta.

31.Roger!Doof hasn't done anything yet but people are screaming. Doof isn't THAT ugly.

32.Whoa whoa, Isabella can switch to Fireside Uniform with this thing? They just explained that animation error I always harp on....but they shouldn't have happened to begin with.

33.They missed a chance for someone to say “They're coming to get you, Isabella”

34.What's Irving doing in the middle street? And why is not running like everyone else?

35.We never see Irving become a zombie, not even in the background.

36.That's the 2nd giant floating doof head we've seen this Season. Weird.

37.They are immune to the Zombies due to the rubber because convenience.

38.”Let's Bounce” Wrong Episode.

39.”Literally” Boooo

40.”Don Adaded” Boooo

41. Also, ha ha George Romero guest stars in the Zombie Episode.

42.Don through going into a big herd of Zombies was a good idea.

43.They say more words for the sake of this joke.

44.Also, how did a zombie get in there , to turn the weatherman into one, without Gordon noticing?

45.We see Jeremy becoming a Zombie during this song. You think Candace's boyfriend turning would be a bigger deal.

46.Also, when it comes to songs about the villain and his clones, Doof is not Number One.

47.These are the same girls from Monster of Phineas N Ferbstein. They've aged VERY well.

48.Also, before they were Olivia Olson, now they are Laura Dickinson

49.Django's Dad, for no reason.

50.Again, these girls think prancing around Zombies is a good idea.

51.The extended version has a verse about how they are going to attack Roger....even though he's already a Zombie.

52.Only two of the girls are touched by the other one transforms anyway.

53.”That's not even a punchline” Still good at sins, I see

54.Mindless Zombies smash a machine that happens to protect them, for no real reason.

55.Where the hell are Linda and Lawrence during all this?

56.Wasn't Stacy afraid of watching these movies before?

57.”Art isn't Art unless it's difficult”' Deep.

58.There was only one Doof at the door but in the span of like a second two more appear.

59.That's a rather chill reaction to 3 doofs randomly appearing.

60.Candace, you have a chance of becoming a mindless zombie. They are reacting correctly.

61.So Linda is there but doesn't hear Buford screaming? (Also, how does she know where Candace is, she never called her?

62.And of course all that stuff goes out once they mention it.

63.The phone shouldn't turn off unless he just happened to run out of battery power at that very moment.

64.”Talk about Grevius Interrupus” I didn't get this joke before but I looked it up and...you know, for kids!

65.Okay, they walked outside and the kids didn't go “Hey, there's kind of a zombie inasion going on?”

66.'Game over man” Booo...and creepy timing too.

67.They only just now notice Isabella isn't here?

68.He's worried about his friend. PHINBELLA!11

69.Making giving him yesterday's news isn't the best way to prove that print is back

70.Obvious fake out cliffhanger is obvious.

71. Made worse by Netflix ending part 1 right here.

72.For no reason, here's the intro again, if you're watching on Netflix.

73.Wow Doof, you tricked Perry into thinking you were a mindless zombie? You're a jerk.

74.Hey, where's Norm? He was at DEI too. Can Robots become zombies? It does work through electricity.

75.”Other children aren't afraid of turning into me” They are now.

76.They had time to build a periscope?

77.They don't question why Isabella hasn't shown up here by now and instead visited her fireside friends?

78.That rubber was not there before. And they happen to have enough.

79.This generator is dangerous enough to require gear, so Stacy can conveniently avoid the zombies.

80.P&F existing in the Shaun of the Dead universe or vice versa raises so many questions. Like....3 crossovers in one season?

81.They are basically here to do my job.

82.”You're the omega platypus” Boooooo.

83.”I used to be Carl” ….Good to know?

84.When humans get turned, they are turned all the way but animals keep their faces...for some reason.

85.”Typical, turn on your creator. You guys are all cliche” do I even need to be here?

86.Hey, didn't one of the goths have a hoodie earlier?

87.Candace again does my job for me.

88.The others turned right away but Lacie takes time because suspense.

89.If they searched everywhere, how did they not see here? She even pops up fairly soon after.

90.”I am so in love with her right now” He's cheating in Baljeet AND Candace?!

91.The beam did not leave a “weird impression” on that wall.

92.How did she know Roger was the first Zombie to begin with? There aren't exactly any living witnesses now.

93.A song called Triangulation does not use actual Triangulation.

94.DEI happens to visible from the window.

95.They didn't board the window because the fireside girls are stupid.

96.Because rushing in blindly worked so well in The Klimpaloon Ultimatum.

97.This disguise fooled them to begin with.

98.It takes two touches for Baljeet to turn.

99.He's right, he did not need to remove his clothes.

100.Where did Doof find that helicopter?

101.”I don't even wanna know how you figured that one out” Uh...

102.”How can she be so oblivious?” Haw haw.

103.”Things can't be any worse” Sigh...

104.How did the Zombie bear get up here?

105.Incredibly convenient timing.

106.Why isn't Perry leaving the helicopter to help the boys? All of OWCA are zombies, no one will know you revealed your secret.

107.”Isn't that a bit of a leap?” Eh, not really given the power surge is why this happened.

108.”When does it ever rain here?” Hide and seek, Great Indoors, etc.

109.The water tower is conveniently right next to them.

110.”Was it worth the time it took to build this scale model?” No.

111.”Heroic Sacrifice” cliché. A bit late as one happened earlier, but whatever.

112.See Perry, this is what you get for not getting out sooner.

113.That reminds me, the boys were never concerned about Perry or even brought him up.

114.The animals couldn't speak before but Perry can.

115.THe others said Lots of me in a normal voice but Vanesa says it differently because extra emotion.

116.”This is yet another callback to something I didn't hear” If you didn't say this, I would chalk this up to coincidence, honestly.

117.Wow, there was huge gap between the previous reference to the Isabella plot and this part.

118.This thing has too many heroic sacrifices.

119.There's no way the sprayer could have hit EVERYONE.

120.Also, it magically becomes morning in an instant.

121.Everyone's memory is erased ….except for Simon Pegg, for some reason.

122.Candace and Vanessa remember too?!

123.Doof magically has his clothes back.

124.Phineas and Isabella forgot their moment because Status Qou is god. Also, the biggest character development in the special is now pointless, yay!

125.I usually wouldn't sin this ending too hard as I thought it was supposed to not make sense, as a sort joke ending to make this Non Canon....BUT Dan had to go claim this as Canon so now I have fire the sins, as this ending now makes NO SENSE.

126.Since when was there a wall around danville?

127.How did the epidemic get out? It's implied the wall went up after it get out since no one that was turned got in, but how did that work?

128.At first I thought this was a film Stacy was watching which makes no sense but Dan said it was just Stacy's movie, which is just odd. The way it's cut implies the former. Why else would we cut to this?

129.And if she's watching her own movie while this is going on, why is it suddenly night again?

130. “Horror movies, scary but so unbelievable” Haw Haw.

131. All the footage for this song is lazily recycled. Some even from other episodes!

132. One of the clips is from Doof 101, which had not aired yet. Ugh, even this late into the series, Disney sucks.

EPISODE SIN TALLY: 132

SENTENCE: Become a Pharma-LOTS OF MEEEEEE

...

Holy Crap, that sin count. That is the single highest sin count so far. That's higher than THE MOVIE! I swear, I try not to stretch too much, or at least I have every sin make sense to be there on some level. I guess the nature of this episode just leads to lots of mistakes.

Just...wow. The only thing left to mention is that someone on FF.net actually did their own sins for this episode, in Early 2015. No idea if we inspired them, likely not but here's the link if you're interested: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11132229/1/Everything-Wrong-With-Night-of-the-Living-Pharmacists

He's sins are a bit off sometimes but ah well. I get it what he's doing and I know better than to nitpick an obvious comedian . That would be so dumb.

Let's just see those wins.

WINS:

1.This intro is AWESOME. The other specials have okay intros but nothing that pumps you up for the special like this.

2.This POV bit is a nice and spooky to start the episode.

3.On it's own, the Isabella plot is good and we'll get into it more as we go on

4.I like the Shakin' Bacon gag.

5.The idea of becoming rubber is cool

6.”What am I not paying you for?” Ha.

7.I've raved about the Candace/Vanessa thing before and it really shines here.

8.Love the Discoball trap.

9.The Inator is a passable way to get us into the zombie plot,and the power thing is a good excuse for the power to go out later.

10.”It's a callback to something I didn't hear . In your face, logic!” Nice.

11.This scene of them bouncing around is fun

12.This song is pretty catchy, it advances the plot nicely, and Ariel Winter gets to sing!

13.I like all the awkward stuff with Candace and Vanessa's friends.

14.”They're so independent they pay you to download their songs” Heh.

15.I love this little subplot with Stacy. It's just funny. Much better than the padding subplot in Save Summer.

16.Pillow fight ftw!

17.I don't know why but Doof tricking perry only for the inator to blow up after, makes me laugh hard.

18.It begins. I love how serious they take all this, right away.

19.Love the animation on Roger's transformation.

20.I love that they reasonably explain the animation error of Isabella switching outfits a lot.

21. Irving Cameo!

22.Love the background gag of the Giant Floating Baby Head becoming the Giant floating Doof head.

23.The contagion being transmitted by electric makes sense, given the Inator overloading, so thus the rubber thing makes sense.

24.More lamp-shading of the Pharmacists thing.

25.Don Aded is voiced by George Romero. To quote Tv Tropes, Is there any better blessing for your zombie movie parody than an appearance by THE INVENTOR OF ZOMBIE MOVIES?

26.Gotta love whenever they say something over than lots of me.

27.This was already good but the soundtrack version is even better thanks to the great sound mixing and extra verse.

28.More of the funny Stacy plot.

29.I love pretty much all the gags with the teens but the weird french film is especially funny.

30.Candace's Self Aware-ness vs the other girls lack of it is great.

31.The buford screaming gag is amusing.

32.Now things get even more intense!

33.Phineas being worried about Isabella is sweet AND funny.

34.Love that newstand guy.

35.I love this cliffhanger, it actually gets you due to how intense it is.

36.On Netflix, we hear Army of me again in the credits!

37.Weird to play the intro again but it's great so I can't complain.

38.Doof's got some funny lines here, and him worrying about Vanessa is nice.

39.Them having to find Isabella creates a great situation for suspense.

40.Stacy accidentally stopping the zombies while being unaware is AWESOME!

41.Shuan and Ed's cameo is great.

42.This scene right here is where on first viewing, I realized how seriously they were taking this. This scene is dead serious, and Monogram declaring that OWCA has fallen makes it even more intense. Like, holy crap.

43.They hide behind a Hightail Delivery truck. Nice to know Paul is doing well.

44.This bit with the Zombie Animals are great suspense scene.

45.”Less of me” Haw.

46. Candace's self aware-ness is still funny.

47.I'm already running out ways to say this special is intense.

48.I'll just say that every aspect works to create a great creepy tone, from the music, to the animation.

49.”I am so in love with her right now” Nice.

50.Isabella putting Phineas aside for the greater good is great.

51. Triangulation is the weakest song in here but it's still good.

52.Also, figures that Isabella knows Triangulation given what shape Phineas' head is.

53.Perry distracting the Zombies is cool and convenient for the kids!

54.More great suspense with the fireside girls here.

55.And they follow it up with Baljeet and Buford turning too! This is where it gets emotional.

56.Buford's sacrifice is great.

57.Doof saving Perry is cool.

58.The roll call gag is funny

59.Helicopter Fight!

60.Perry helps them out, by accident but still.

61. Doof and Vanessa reuniting is sweet.

62.Water fixing this makes sense, at least in cartoon terms.

63.It's nice to see the boys interacting with Doof in canon,,,sorta.

64.”Well, everyone else was dressing up?” Haw.

65.Oh god, this is where I start too loose it, with Candace turning.

66.Bonus points for her sacrificing herself to save Vanessa.

67.Perry turning for another intense moment.

68.And Vanessa turning is where I officially lost it.

69.This is yet another callback to something I didn't hear” Nice.

70.Ferb's sacrifice is another moment that got me. Seriously, every time I watch this I think I'm over it but nope, even when looking for flaws I still get into it.

71.Phineas has turned and I'm dead. Also, Isabella pressing on is great.

72.This bit with her is great in general, almost forgot to mention it.

73.Isabella turning right as she pushes the button is some amazing suspense, seriously.

74.This happy ending is really satisfying after what we went through.

75.Shaun and Ed get another amusing moment.

76. Nice bit with Candace and Vanessa.

77.”We should do it again sometime, preferably without the threat of a zombie apocalypse” “I'm not making any promises” Lol ….Did I really just type that?

78.As dumb as Dan saying this is canon is, it's still a funny ending.

79.“Horror movies, scary but so unbelievable” Nice.

80. Lots of Me is a really fun song, and good luck getting it out of your head.

81. Did I mention this special is suspenseful?

EPISODE WIN TALLY: 81

REWARD: Emotional Bravery Patch

I think is the highest win count so far, fitting. Not a lot else to say. But just...that sin count. See you next week as we start to wrap it up with sins of a galaxy far far away and the one you've all been waiting for. See ya then.

#Season 4 Sins #Season 4 Wins #Special Sins #Special Wins #Wins #Phineas and Ferb

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felixluis · 6 years ago

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afterspark-podcast · 6 years ago

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G1 Episode 2: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

Stinger:

S: What’s your favorite thing out of Rescue Bots so far?

O: Is-is this not feline sleepwear for cat’s pajamas or something?

[Intro music plays]

O: Hello and welcome to the Afterspark podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I’m Owls!

S: And I’m Specs!

O: Today we’re going to be talking about episode number 2, More than Meets the Eye Part 2. Let’s talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah, yeah, let’s do it.

O: Last time on the Transformers, if you remember, because presumably you listened to us talk about how giant advanced robots clearly can’t see a planet coming.

S: Uhm-hm.

O: The Autobots and Decepticons have crash landed on Earth and re-engaged in their eons long fight of good versus evil~

S: [snickering]

O: And we open--back on the oil rig, where we left last time, and everything is on fire.

S: Yup. Cue various Autobots and humans stuck among the oil rig wreckage. [sighs]

O: Which by stuck, I mean giant robots are being somehow stuck by flimsy little pieces of metal compared to them?

S: Somehow--somehow trapped, they are unable to lift this. [sigh] I don’t know.

O: I don’t know either. Anyway! So then, everything’s on fire. I believe I mentioned that. Uh, and they decide to put fire out by shooting at it.

S: And it works somehow. I mean, the Autobots would obviously make bank if they could mass produce Wheeljack’s fire suppression system. Cause he just, like, does one pass, and he’s like [sound effect] of foam. O: Of foam and all the flame goes out. And this was not a small fire, because oil rig.

S: Yeah, I mean, I guess this is how he prevents his own lab fires from getting out of control?

O: Which would make sense or the Ark should have exploded, long, long, [chuckles] long ago.

S: Or Iacon.

O: Or Iacon, probably Iacon. So then, we gotta save the squishies. Uh, and Optimus suddenly forgets how to swim.

S: With the meager, meager weight of two humans.

O: Which are Sparkplug and uh, Spike, right?

S: Yup.

O: And then he’s gotta be rescued by Jazz’s grappling hook, which will show up a couple of times in this epis--in like the next couple of episodes.

S: Um-hm.

O: Um.

S: [snickers]

O: So, then the Autobots bring the two back to the oil rig and proceed to imprint upon the first squishies they see. Optimus Prime proceeds to give Sparkplug and Spike what I can only describe as the Autobots’ elevator pitch of, “We’re the good guys, we’re fighting the bad guys, we’ve been fighting the bad guys for-freaking-ever.” [laughs]

S: Pretty much. [laughs] And then the humans are like, “We know more about Earth than you do.” And that’s basically the excuse used for literally every other human character that shows up in any other series.

O: Unfortunately.

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs]

S: Yeah.

O: There are good human characters, but then there are bad ones. I’m thinking of the bad ones right now. [laughs]

S: [laughs]

O: So, the Autobots, imprinting upon their squishies, clearly bring them back to their base and we see Spike monologuing to himself while he writes in his diary.

S: Yeah.

O: It then cuts to Soundwave. As he creeps on--

S: [laughs]

O: A sixteen year old boy. Who is, I repeat, writing in his diary. [chuckles]

S: Yup. [chuckles] And while Spike is--Spike while he’s outside an alien base decides to pick up technology--AKA this super fancy boom box, which is Soundwave, admittedly--that he doesn’t recognize and brings it inside. [laughs]

O: Of which, I can only assume that Soundwave, when trying to come up with a plan to get into the Autobot base said to himself, “Oh wait! I know how to get in here by doing absolutely nothing.” [laughs]

S: And he actually does this multiple times in uh--like he does this in the Marvel comics too. He uses, like, two workers to get, like--he’s--he’s just waiting in a parking lot, and one of them’s like--

O: [snorts]

S: here’s this really cool 8 track tape player. I’m going to pick it up, take it past all of these guns, and all of these soldiers with guns, and I’m going to stick it my locker.

B: [laughter]

O: And then the locker explodes later, right? [laughs]

S: Yes, yes it does, and Soundwave unleashes his cassettes and, like--he broadcasts the transmission of him doing all of this stuff in this base, for you know, psychological warfare purposes I guess.

O: [laughing] Okay-

S: But that’s--that’s where that really great, like, contrapposto--

O: OH, got it.

S: --panel of Soundwave came from. [laughs] But yeah, Soundwave. Soundwave is totally big on very--disguises that don’t take a whole lot of effort. And apparently this is just one of his main hobbies, or tactics I guess?

O: I mean if it works, I can’t even blame him.

S: I mean we’ve got two examples out of two pieces of media, so I guess it works...

O: Well, I know he does it in the IDW comics too.

B: [laughter]

S: Oh true!

O: I read that! I know he does! So, yeah--

S: True. Oh god, and I think they do about the same thing in the movies, but it’s with Frenzy.

O: Yes...

S: Yeah, that’s how Frenzy--

O: Something like that.

S: That’s how Frenzy gets on the President’s plane or whatever.

O: Oh god--YEAH, yeah that’s right. I don’t think I realized that was Frenzy, I am going to completely delete that from my brain now. Moving on!

S: [laughs] At least I’m pretty sure it’s Frenzy? But yeah, let’s get back on business! And so Spike wants to know more about the Autobots and Cybertron and so the Autobots decide to show off for their new--their new buddy--their new pet, umm, I guess.

O: And uh, the Autobots are like, “Wow! Earth is really pretty,” and I swear to god Spike’s just like, “Yeah, yeah, Earth is nice but tell me more about your awesome alien planet.”

S: Pretty much, pretty much, he’s--he’s super impressed with--with Hound’s hologram projector and then--

O: [laughs] I think you mean ‘hoelo-gram’

S: ‘Hoelo-gram’.

O: This will be a theme.

S: Probably, yeah. [laughs] And then Hound takes Spike for the ‘ride of his life’. [sighs]

O: Why--why are all the robots in this episode so inappropriate to Spike!?! I don’t understand. We’ve got Soundwave, we’ve got Hound--it’ll be Hound again later!

B: [laughter]

S: I don’t think--I don’t think Hound’s intending to be, it’s just the subtext, except that yeah that screenshot from later is definitely one of the classics. Yeah. But they go see a lovely sunset on this ride. I mean it’s truly beautiful. It’s lovely, and then they get back.

O: So Soundwave, now being in the Autobot base because Spike brought him in--the front freaking door! [laughs]

S: And just left him there without telling anyone.

O: [laughs] Right! Not like I’m gonna take this home--I’m going to leave this over here for no fucking reason. Anyway! Soundwave transforms back into robot mode and ejects Ravage, who--turns into a panther, and then turns back into a cassette tape and hops into the Autobots’ computer to steal information as a cassette tape. Which, yes, I know, I know some old computers did this, but dear lord I didn’t grow up during that time period--so at this point in time in the year of our lord, 2018 it’s just fucking ridiculous because I have no context.

S: [snorts] Neither do I, oh my god. And then, Spike and Hound have come back and Spike catches Soundwave stealing information, and he strikes a pose!

O: ~Draw me like one of your French girls Soundwave~

S: Such contrapposto, I mean he’s like a model.

O: It’s very pretty. So Soundwave and Ravage now try to make their escape. The Autobots capture Ravage...

S: Except like, the first two times they kinda can’t? Or at least two minibots can’t.

O: They catch him eventually though.

S: Yeah after they make people turn on their headlights and their infrared.

O: Yeah. So then we cut back to the Decepticons, cause Soundwave has clearly returned, as they gather round Soundwave, who’s playing a cassette tape that I presume is not Ravage, because he’s been captured, for their Earth history lesson.

S: And they’re glued to the radio like a 1940’s family listening to the President’s fireside chats.

O: [snorts] Only, you know, they’re all giant robots.

S: And one of them is a warlord.

O: And one of them is the cassette deck! [laughs]

S: [laughs] Yeah-

O: Anyway, so uh, Starscream says something stupid--don’t remember what it was, all I remember is that at some point during the scene Megatron is like, [terrible Megatron impersonation] “Your knowledge is only overshadowed by your stupidity, Starscream!” Because of course he does. Um, and after listening to all of--to the like, Earth history lesson from Soundwave, Megatron’s brillant scheme is to steal energy from a power plant. By making a tidal wave hit a dam.

S: [groans] That’s not how that works!

O: I don’t know how he expects...any of this to work? I really, truly, do not, because of course the tidal wave is going to destroy the dam and how do you get the energy? And I don’t know???

S: But I did really like Soundwave’s sort of descriptive hand motion for that, I mean that was….quite nice?

O: Soundwave dispatches Rumble to start a tidal wave. Of which, by the way, Soundwave just shouldn’t be allowed to come up with operation names because he literally ejects him from his tape deck going, “OPERATION TIDAL WAVE.” Which just sounds completely freaking ridiculous.

S: Yup-- and Rumble gets to be a dick to dams.

O: [laughs] The Autobots notice something’s going on so they’re gonna go investigate and then we cut back--so then we basically cut from the Decepticons, to the Autobots, back to the dam and the dam begins to fall apart from like, the force of the water.

S: Uh-hm, and one of the humans hits a malfunctioning read out, like that’ll make it work better?

O: Definitely! Definitely, that’s how you fix everything, you just hit it. [laughs]

S: Percussive maintenance. It’s a thing.

O: The Decepticons attack. Uh, Megatron announcing himself only--as only he can. And by attack I mean, they burst through the wall like the god damned Kool-Aid Man and then Megatron shoots the ceiling...because he can!

S: [laughing] Yup, yup, that’s--that’s Megatron. And-and the dam is, as this happens the dam is crumbling because somehow Rumble’s attack is, well, whatever the hell he’s doing is apparently working. I mean maybe he’s just destabilizing the dam concrete?

O: I have no idea, but I swear it was the same shot as, like, the previous one of the dam crumbling. And it was just like, “We’re gonna show this again.” [laughs]

S: Hey they have to save some money, so...yeah.

O: So then, one of the humans explains to Megatron that the dam is going to LITERALLY explode and Megatron is happy about this because the electricity output is going to be at its peak.

S: And, well, I mean the human that’s talking to Megatron--he either super cares his work, or he just does not give a shit [laughs] about how squishy he is.

O: Because, again, forty foot robot, or thirty foot, or however fucking tall Megatron is--he’s very tall. Anyway--I would like you to stop for moment and say--HOW is any of this okay!?! [laughs]

S: That’s not how dams work! At all! Ever.

O: I guess we have to forgive the alien overlord for not understanding shi-Earth shit for a little while? [laughs]

S: Well, yeah, they probably don’t have water on Cybertron, maybe something else?

O: I don’t know.

S: Erm, I don’t know, there’s the sea of rust? I think there’s a mercury sea? It’s been a while since I actually looked at any of my, uh, the books--

O: Yeah, I don’t know.

S: -that go into Cybertron.

O: Uh, so [clears throat] the Autobots show up, by flying to the rescue.

S: Question mark, question mark, question mark. [sighs]

O: This will not be consistent, later in the series they make it relatively clear that only the Decepticons are able to fly, so, yeah this is fun.

S: Yeah, yeah. With the exception of Swoop, Skyfire, and Sideswipe’s jetpack. [Specs forgot to mention the Aerialbots among a few others here.]

O: [laughs] We’ll get to that! So Hound goes swimming to try to get Rumble, and then Ironhide and Bumblebee attempt to channel the water [from the dam] by shooting at the ground using Ironhide’s BUTT BEAM.

S: [laughs]

O: I mean trunk gun! [laughs]

S: [laughs] Aha, butt beam--

O: [laughs]

S: Butt beam, [laughs] butt beam! [laughs]

O: This works...somehow, even though the channels cannot possibly be that deep!

S: I mean, it’s a valid--it’s a valid strategy but I don’t understand how it would work cause they’re just like, zzt, zzt, zzt, zzt, zzzt! It’s sending things off at sort of weird right angles?

O: It just, it just doesn’t look very ‘effective,’ is the word I think I’m looking for.

S: Yes.

O: But anyway, it works.

S: Somehow. Special ground penetrating laser.

O: [snorts] His BUTT ground penetrating laser. [laughs]

S: [laughs] I don’t know, maybe it’s the same damn laser that comes out of his back later?

O: Ugh, body parts are weird. [laughs] The Autobots go to attack the dam, which is where--or the power plant in the dam, whatever. Where the Decepticons are now and they blast through a wall, door, something, anyway the point of this is--

S: I think it was already open.

O: Oh, okay, well, we see them shooting at what can only be described as Starscream and his mini me. [laughs]

S: [laughs] Yeah, they um, there were lots and lots of animation errors.

O: There’s about to be more! [laughs] So, we then cut to a shot that includes four Reflectors, three Rumbles, and Soundblaster. Allow me to break this down for why this does not work.

S: [laughs]

O: There are only three Reflectors, they’re-they’re the three little guys that turn into the camera. Uh, Rumble is in the water, and there’s only one of him. Soundblaster doesn’t even show up in Generation 1, but he’s basically the upgrade of Soundwave, um, and he’s basically just black. So they color Soundblaster [Owl’s meant Soundwave here] black for this shot.

S: Yeah, and I mean making you go back to rewatch this bit to confirm, confirm it, and the Starscream mini me was kind of hilarious, because your reaction. [laughs]

O: Basically was--what the hell am I looking at? And how do you fuck up this badly!?! [laughs]

S: They’re surprisingly versatile at fucking up really badly.

O: Oh yeah, Soundblaster’s gonna show up multiple frickin’ times, because apparently we can’t color Soundwave right. And then--Megatron, er, Optimus Prime comes busting in and I swear to god he tells Megatron the Cybertronian equivalent of, ‘to fuck off’--

S: [laughs]

O: And it’s beautiful. [laughs]

S: Yup. And then battle breaks out, there’s some elegant gymnastics by Mirage as he battles against, I think Skywarp and Thundercracker?

O: All I know is he’s like flippin’ all over the place [laughs]

S: Yeah, it’s a 10 out of 10 and completely ignores that these weirdos could fly like, five minutes ago. O: [laughs]

S: Because they’re on this catwalk? [laughs]

O: [laughs] And they’re all fine, but they don’t seem to attempt to fly?

S: Yes, cause MIrage gets knocked off, he grabs hold of it [the railing] and does some fancy ass backflips back on and then tosses some other person off, it’s like, yeah...

O: So then, Optimus Prime pursues Megatron, and Megatron Mufasas Optimus Prime, or at least tries to, because, if you’ll remember, like, a shot ago, or two, Optimus Prime was flying. They were ALL FLYING! And everyone’s going to forget that for like, three minutes, because they’re idiots. [laughs]

S: Yup, and Optimus gets to channel some awesome John Wayne around this area.

O: He does sound very John Wayne-ish here.

S: So Starscream shows up with a slingshot to a gunfight but instead of targeting anyone he just shoots it at the machinery.

O: And it works kind of. I-I don't know what's going on here. [laughs]

S: It sets off some sort of chain reaction I think and Megatron is like kind of pissed about it.

O: When is he not pissed at Starscream I think is the better question here.

S: Yeah that's true. That's true.

O: Anyway! So we cut to Megatron and Optimus Prime, um, on top of the dam doing a cunning impersonation of the Rock'em sock'em robots.

S: They truly do. They're just Rock'em sock'em roboting it up, man.

O: And bonking each other on top of the head.

S: So much bonk.

O: So much bonk.

S: It's like the only damn sound effect that they paid the Foley artist for and they were like this will work for everything

O: [laughs] We have to use it for everything! We've only got this one sound effect. Umm, so, then we get to some quality dialogue between Optimus Prime and Megatron with Optimus being like, “You destroy Everything You Touch, Megatron!” and Megatron giving one of my favorite lines I've ever heard him say which is, [terrible Megatron impersonation] “Everything I touch is food for my hunger, my hunger for power!” and I'm just like what the hell am I listening to!?! [laughs]

S: Yeah, and then Meg--Megs and Op fight with weapons that never really show up again, though they do show up in toys that get sold.

O: Toys, uh, they also show up to some degree in, ah, in some of the games later, like Optimus very frequently is using an axe in the games.

S: Oh, and I think--that they might show up in the movie?

O: They might, I dunno.

S: They might, it's been awhile since I watched that.

O: I try to forget I did!

S: Well, are we talking about the cartoon or the Michael Bay movie or do you want to forget--

O: Um, all of them? All of them. [laughs] Anyway, so we cut back to Hound, who's been under water too long apparently? Spike is getting worried?

[Disclaimer: Bumblebee was not out at the time of this recording but we both enjoyed it!.]

S: So he decides that he's going to dive down and help like, his friend the 20-foot tall giant robot.

O: Right! But before that, Hound and Rumble are fighting underwater which basically means Hound ends up with a bunch of rocks on top of him.

S: Somehow.

O: And Megatron finally knocks Optimus Prime off the dam and then he hela-flails the fuck out of there. By this I mean he's swinging the flail above his head, as he like, flies off off the dam. So it kind of looks like like he's flying through the power of hela-flailing!

S: [laughs] Oh the hela-flail, the good old hela-flail.

O: We never see it again. [laughs]

S: Yeah, and then Prime can’t swim again, it’s like water’s his greatest enemy and Jazz needs to rescue him again.

O: Because Optimus is failing at the doggy paddle. [laughs]

S: Yeah, [laughs] he just fucking fails [quietly] oh my God.

O: So--Spike finally reaches Hound, who stuck under rocks, uh, and he moves a rock, underwater in this really, really strong current and I don't know how any of this works--Spike is superhuman!

S: God, I’d almost say he's techno-organic like Sari, [from Transformers Animated] but...

O: [Cackles] Nope, nope--we’re several series off from that!

S: Yeah and I mean, yeah it wouldn't work anyway [snorts] but maybe someone's written fanfiction about it?

O: I mean..would it make some amount of sense? Yes?

S: Possibly, I mean, Sparkplug’s like the world's most interesting man.

O: [laughs] I built a robot in my youth--totally! This is my son. Although, it does kind of beg the question why he would be named Sparkplug and his son would be named Spike, but whatever. Anyway--so uh, Spike saves Hound. Umm, Hound proceeds to give Spike a suggestive back massage to say thank you. [laughs]

S: Well after lifting him to the surface because Spike was like--I need air!

O: There were hand motions.

S: There were hand gestures involved. And yeah this is like the--one of the classic suggestive screenshots this fandom is sort of...maybe not famous for but it’s like one of the--one of the classic ones if you go look for you know, suggestive screenshots.

O: I would like to take a moment to remind you that all of the robots for being inappropriate Spike here. [laughs] Please make them stop. Spike needs an adult. A real adult, not a fucking robot. Anyway, we cut to the Decepticons stealing energy from various locations, uh, Soundwave is Soundblaster again.

S: Um-hm.

O: Oh, there's a whole bunch of Seekers, I have no idea who they are--they're all over the place. There's one shot that's like, are they stealing from trees? There doesn't seem to be an energy source here but okay...

S: There's, yeah, there's a lot of inconsistency running around and it's not very clear.

O: It really isn't.

S: We won’t see any of these other Seekers again.

O: No--well, I think they might pop back up in the back of like other shots?

S: Maybe, but it's never explained.

O: It's never explained. It seemed pretty clear like, how many Decepticons Megatron had with him, then all these other random ones pop up and we’re like where are these coming from?

S: Why are there duplicates?

O: Yeah that too! Why are there 3 Rumbles?

S: Four rumbles actually if we consider that one of them is under water.

O: [Quietly] True. [Normal] So uh, Starscream gets the brilliant of--shooting rocks...rather inefficiently uh, making his spouse mad--I mean his boss.

S: And he’s do--well, he's doing super questionable science cause I mean I don't see him writing anything down. Which I mean, this is relevant in future episodes where it’s revealed--Starscream was a scientist and explorer.

O: You would think this would mean he'd know how to science but we don't really see him science very very often. So, while the Decepticons are arguing, uh, Trailbreaker is spying on them--I mean jacking into Megatron's brain waves, again and, uh, Sparkplug and Spike are in tow for some reason?

S: Hound and Trailbreaker are just super good at overhearing things with their little radio dishes.

O: You-You’d think there be like a blocker or that the Decepticons would have a blocker for this and/or the Decepticons would utilize a similar technique but they don't they usually just send in Laserbeak.

S: [laughs] Hey, he's versatile.

O: He is!

S: And-and Mirage is the spy and we don't really see him eavesdropping on the Decepticons but you did make a good point, which is that he turns invisible so…

O: Yeah, well he can turn invisible so maybe we wouldn't *see* him

S: True.

O: Uh, Megatron and Starscream continue to squabble some more. Uh, at which point Megatron is like, “Assemble the strike force!” or at least I think that was Megatron and we waste a perfect chance for a Decepticon roll call. Waste!

S: Absolutely wasted. And then the Decepticons are on the move, attacking Trailbreaker and the Witwickys. Cuz that's what you do when you’re giant alien robots who are also evil. And then Sunstreaker and Sideswipe arrive to help chase the Decepticon Seekers off basically by, uh, sort of ending up on either side of Trailbreaker and then Sunstreaker’s butt gun comes out. [laughs]

O: [laughs] There's a lot of butt guns in the show what the hell?

S: Trunk gun, trunk gun. [laughs]

O: Trunk gun [laughs]

S: And it's like Sunstreaker’s and Sideswipe’s breakout characterization moment where Sunstreaker’s, “I want to be pretty” stuff comes out and Sideswipe’s just like, “Everything's a joke.” Turn left, only make left-hand turns are right hand turns or whatever.

O: The Decepticons are now mining rubies and making it energon cubes from them.

S: Somehow, yes.

O: Somehow. But this gets better because suddenly we cut to Megatron who while talking about these rubies proceeds to shower himself with...the rubies. Not once--but twice! [laughs]

S: Um-hmm.

O: As I said, rubies are warlord's best friend.

S: And I wrote a haiku. [laughs]

O: Yes!

S: Rubies glitter in A warlord's eye fly they must To please fiendish mind

O: So then we cut back to the Auto...bots. Everything is wrong with his shot. Everything.

S: There's so much. Ratchet’s head isn't colored in and then-then Bumblebees out front but..

O: Also there's another Autobot which we think is Blue Streak--with Bumblebee’s head and by head I mean it's colored yellow and then Ironhide for some inexplicable reason, is topless. And by topless I mean he's colored the wrong color but it makes them look topless!

S: He's gray, his-his chest is colored gray so he looks like he's just, like, unpainted.

O: [laughs]

S: Which is probably the Cybertronian equivalent to being topless? Unless having your armor taken off is the Cybertronian equivalent?

O: So, Bumblebee and Sparkplug are basically picked the infiltrate the mine, to blow it up. Uhh, Sparkplug has worked here to apparently?

S: He’s the world's most interesting man. I mean we came to that conclusion with--hey, he's done oil rigs, he's worked here, where else has he worked? Has he been a secret service agent?

O: I wouldn't doubt it [laughs] considering!

S: Yeah, I mean comic Sparkplug just owns an auto shop. Cartoon Sparkplug is the op--action dude

O: He’s--[an] action hero. [laughs] So basically, while they're trying to sneak in, we see the two Seekers and they’re basically talking about how they want to go home, my poor bois. Uh, the explosion is set but then Thundercracker and Skywarp block the exit and bully the bee...again!

S: With much Bonk because, yeah.

O: Again, it’s the only sound effect they paid for.

S: Yeah. [laughs]

O: So then Optimus sends in Roller, which is like, his little baby, tiny robot that lives in his trailer. And he sends Roller in after Bumblebee and uh--

S: Sparkplug.

O: Thank you. Uh, and then explosions happen.

S: Because of that, uh, that highly technical explosive that they got from Wheeljack, but-

O: Which was set to go off in 60 Seconds?

S: Yes.

O: Which doesn't seem like enough time.

S: Well, you'd think that Bumblebee would be better at infiltrating things, considering that in, like, most of the other generations he's actually considered to be part of the-the infiltration team or something.

O: So shit explodes. Uh, the Decepticons are buried uh, and this knocks Optimus Prime off a hill which is where the episode ends. The next episode, uh, we should to, “Illusions Michael!”, Optimus Prime nearly dying, purple spaceship the second, and ROBOTS IN SPACE (kind of).

S: Kinda.

O: [laughs]

S: [sighs] Yeah and then, yeah.

O: [quietly] Shenanigans will insue.

S: Many shenanigans and also the world's most surprising parachute.

O: [laughs] Yes. All right Specs--what is our fanfic for the week?

S: Okay well, our two fanfiction recommendations for the week are the, “Grunt’s Guide to Warfare,” by Tirya King. Which is set in the G1 cartoon continuity, rated T, it's Gen so there aren't any pairings and the characters are the G1 cast. The summary is, “G1 Some things are universal throughout the galaxy the rules of warfare being some of them. If you wish to be a proper soldier you must learn these very important laws and incorporate them throughout your daily life.” And so, the characters or theme rec for this one was Murphy's Law because so much goes wrong in this episode.

O: Just...so much goes in this episode. [laughs]

S: Yeah...yeah, and then our second recommendation for today is, “Earth studies 101,” by Vaeru. Which is a G1 alternate universe, rated T, and no pairings so it's Gen. Uh, the main characters are an OC, so Evelyn, and uh, the G1 cast. So, it’s--in summary, “It’s a Transformers AU, it’s a Sparkbearer side story,” and if you were listening last week I recommended the first part which ss, “Transformers Juxtaposition” [naturally, also by Vaeru] so to continue the summary, “Professor Evelyn Hughes is accustomed to teaching linguistics but when one is friends with a crew of giant Alien robots one must be prepared to teach lessons of a very different sort. Drabbles and one shots,” and the theme for this one was, “We know Earth better than you!” That quote.

O: [laughs] Will live in infamy.

S: It will! But so those are our recommendations for today. I hope you enjoy them I mean review the fics and let the authors know that you liked it.

O: I think we're going to be doing fan art every other episode since we're doing artists instead of stories and it's just less of them overall. [Instead of just doing a few art pieces we’re recommending a singular artist.]

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check out our Tumblr at Afterspark-Podcast.tumblr.com for any additional information, show notes or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and SoundCloud and YouTube at AftersparkPodcast. Till next time!

O: I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And come back and we'll talk to you more about giant robots.

S: Toodles!

#transcript #afterspark podcast #g1 episode 2

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