#Fiery chanyeol

[yeolsaintlaurent]

Nocturnal Reverie ch.2 [PCY]

pairing - chanyeol x fem reader

genre - mature, smut, angst

themes - power imbalance, romance, crime, justice, class divide, politics, sex

synopsis - In the sprawling, dystopian city of Emberhaven, where power and corruption reign supreme, the lives of two unlikely individuals collide in a tale of passion, intrigue, and moral reckoning. Chanyeol, an enigmatic and wealthy scion of the city's elite, finds himself captivated by the elusive Y/N, a cunning and resourceful thief who navigates the treacherous underworld of Emberhaven. Their first encounter, sparked by a chance meeting in a luxurious club called The Velvet Lounge, sets the stage for a whirlwind romance amidst a backdrop of crime, politics, and danger.

Chapter two: Unveiling Secrets

Chanyeol - 06:00

Chanyeol's morning began with the precision of a well-oiled machine. He awoke to the soft hum of his penthouse's automated blinds, allowing the first slivers of dawn to infiltrate the room. The muted skyline of the city stretched before him, its jagged edges and monolithic structures a stark reminder of the world outside his sanctuary.

The city, with its stark contrast between opulence and despair, unfurled below him like a tattered tapestry. He had once been a part of the elite, born into a family of power and wealth. But now, as he looked down upon the struggling masses, he could not escape the gnawing realization that he was an outsider in his own city.

The divide between the rich elite, like his family had been, and the downtrodden underclass seemed impossible to bridge. The wealthy politicians, ensconced in their lavish mansions, held no sympathy for the plight of the underprivileged. His anger flared as the morning news flashed scenes of a riot unfolding in front of a politician's home.

On the screen, the indifferent politician shrugged off responsibility, blaming the impoverished for their own circumstances. Chanyeol's jaw clenched as he watched, his fingers tightening around the remote control. He wanted to scream at the screen, to make the arrogant politician see the suffering that he and his ilk had wrought upon the city.

But he knew better than to act impulsively. Chanyeol had plans, carefully calculated and patiently waiting for the right moment to unfold. His quest for redemption and justice required patience and precision, and he couldn't afford to tip his hand prematurely.

With a sigh, he turned off the television, his pent-up frustration dissipating into the air. It was still too early, and he had much to do before he could take action. He moved through his morning routine with the discipline of a soldier.

His private gym was his sanctuary within a sanctuary. He worked out with dedication. The weight of his past sins bore down on him with each repetition, pushing him to his limits.

After an intense workout, he headed to the luxurious bathroom, where the steam from a hot shower enveloped him in warmth. His mind wandered back to the events of the previous night, to the fiery-haired thief who had ignited a spark of intrigue within him.

As he dressed in meticulously chosen attire, Chanyeol couldn't shake the memory of their encounter at the Velvet Lounge. Her audacity, her charm, and the air of mystery that surrounded her had left an indelible mark on his thoughts. He wondered if their paths would cross again, and what secrets she held beneath her beguiling exterior.

Breakfast was a solitary affair, a healthy meal that reflected his commitment to taking care of his body. He savored each bite, the flavors a welcome distraction from the weight of his responsibilities. But as he finished eating, the television screen flashed images of the riot once more, and the politician's callous words echoed in his mind.

Chanyeol knew he couldn't remain idle for much longer. The city's wounds ran deep, and he had a role to play in mending them. He had to be patient, but the burning desire for change gnawed at his soul, driving him to the precipice of action.

For now, he would bide his time, honing his skills, and watching the city's plight from his penthouse perch. He couldn't save everyone, but he was determined to make a difference, even if it meant walking the perilous path of redemption alone.

Y/N - 13:00

The same day, in the late afternoon, Y/N stirred from her slumber, her body accustomed to the nocturnal rhythms of her life. She yawned and stretched, the afternoon sunlight casting a warm glow across her modest townhouse. Her late lunch consisted of a slightly overcooked microwaveable pizza, a hasty and unceremonious affair.

Y/N paid little heed to the burnt edges of her meal, devouring it with a sense of indifference. She had never been one to fuss over the finer details of life's comforts. After all, her existence thrived in the shadows, where imperfections were her allies.

Following her meager repast, Y/N retreated to her bedroom, the heart of her secluded haven. She indulged in moments of leisure, playing with her feline companion, Kat, whose sleek black fur seemed to absorb the room's shadows. Netflix offered a temporary escape from the realities of her world, and she basked in the glow of the screen.

As evening descended and the city surrendered to the embrace of darkness, Y/N emerged from her sanctuary, ready for the night's endeavors. Her chosen attire was a testament to practicality and grace, designed to allow her to blend into the shadows or traverse the city's rooftops with agile finesse.

With a satchel bag containing her essential tools, Y/N added a touch of lip gloss and a spritz of Libre by YSL, an olfactory veil as well as her signature scent. It was a ritual of preparation, a transformation that marked the transition from her ordinary existence to the life of a cunning thief.

Tonight's mission had a purpose beyond personal gain. Y/N shared in the city's frustration, the anger at the indifference of the elite. Her target, the Fabergé eggs, was a symbolic choice, a strike at the opulence that seemed oblivious to the suffering below. She was no vigilante, but she knew where to hurt those who believed themselves invincible. She had heard about them a couple days ago at the Velvet Lounge, when she overheard the boastful wife of the same politician going on and on about her husband’s extravagant present. The other affluent womens’ reactions at the table served her vanity, her expressions all haughty. 

Silently, she had managed to infiltrate the mansion, her years of experience making her a phantom in the night. Evading security measures and avoiding the occasional wandering resident, she made her way to the opulent lounge where the coveted eggs were displayed. Looking around she couldn't help but let out an airy laugh at the interiors and the decor of this mansion. Her humble abode was a far cry from this disgustingly outrageous place.

With careful precision, Y/N secured four of the five Fabergé eggs, knowing their absence would be a sting felt deeply by the politician and his wife. Her escape had to be timed perfectly. With the last egg clutched in her hand, she smashed it on the floor, creating a cacophonous distraction that would draw attention away from her escape. The last smashed egg also served as a way to twist the wound of the theft deeper; symbolic in a manner.

Bounding onto the balcony, Y/N leaped into the cool night air, executing a flawless roll as she touched down on the ground. She sprinted through the darkness, her movements fluid and calculated.

She soon reached the high street and in her haste, collided with a tall figure, a mere blur amongst the ocean of people walking up and down the street; some shopping for shiny things to fill whatever void the city left within them, the others looking on in envy and self-pity. Without looking back, she yelled an apology and continued her mad dash, weaving through the labyrinthine streets to evade capture.

The tall figure she had bumped into was none other than Chanyeol, en route to meet his longtime friend, Kyungsoo. The unexpected encounter left him momentarily bewildered, his thoughts racing as he watched the fleeting silhouette of the mysterious woman disappear into the night.

Chanyeol's heart raced as he watched the fleeting figure of the fiery-haired thief disappear into the night. He recognized her by the vibrant hue of her hair and the lingering scent of her perfume that hung in the air. It was her, the enigmatic woman who had stolen not just Fabergé eggs but a piece of his thoughts since their encounter at the club. 

Unable to contain his curiosity, he quickened his pace, pursuing her shadow through the maze-like streets of the city. But he soon realized that chasing her through the labyrinthine alleys was a fruitless endeavor. Y/N had vanished once more, leaving him with nothing but a sense of intrigue.

Frustrated and determined, Chanyeol decided to abandon his pursuit for now. He couldn't let this mysterious woman consume his every thought, not when he had other matters to attend to. Besides, he felt  that destiny had a way of orchestrating encounters when the time was right.

With a sigh, he made his way to the Velvet Lounge, the same place where their paths had first crossed. He felt a strange connection to it now, as if it held the answers to the enigma that was Y/N.

Inside the dimly lit establishment, he spotted his friend Kyungsoo at the bar, a mischievous glint in his eyes and a tight-lipped, smirky smile. The lawyer was a man of unconventional methods, unafraid to throw a punch when he believed it was deserved, even in the pursuit of justice.

Chanyeol slid onto the barstool next to Kyungsoo, offering a nod of greeting. "You always pick the most charming places to meet, Yeol."

Chanyeol chuckled, his eyes twinkling.. "What can I say, Soo? I have a knack for finding the hidden gems."

Chanyeol couldn't contain his excitement. "Bro, you won't believe what happened to me," Chanyeol began, his voice tinged with a sense of exhilaration. "I had an interesting experience right here yesterday. I came here for some drinks, as I always do, and this…very sexy and captivating woman walked up to me, started sweet talking me, and… well you know me… I reciprocated, and just as I thought I could uh, you know, bring her back to mine and show her a good time.. she went ahead and tried to rob me dude!”, he chuckles.

Kyungsoo raised an intrigued eyebrow, his lips curling into a sly smile. "What the fuuuck, the way your telling me this, and your expressions are kinda leading me to believe you actually let her go?? Bro, come on!!” “You should have seen her Soo, you should have spoken to her. Then maybe you’d understand why I actually find this amusing. Also she managed to disappear into thin air it seemed like before I could even stop her.”, Chanyeol replies. 

Kyungsoo shakes his head and looks over to the bar, where he sees Suho stationed, and nods at him in a greeting. Suho smiles back before serving the customers seated in front of him. In a way, this got Kyungsoo thinking. He knew his best friend had never been this taken with a girl in just one encounter. And when he was, it wouldn’t usually last past a couple nights, after Chanyeol has had his fun and decides to call it quits. The women couldn’t find themselves angry with him though, even his breakup texts oozed charm. He had a way with words and the ladies.

Chanyeol leaned in, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. " I can't get her out of my head, bro. She's like this siren, you know.."

Kyungsoo chuckled, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "Ah, dude, you've always had a flair for the dramatic. But I can see why this woman has captured your attention. Perhaps she's a riddle worth unraveling."

Their conversation shifted to more serious matters, as they discussed their long-standing plans to bring justice to the city. Chanyeol leaned forward, his eyes filled with determination. "Soo, it's time we take matters into our own hands. The city is drowning in corruption and indifference. We can't just stand idly by any longer."

Kyungsoo nodded, his expression serious. "You're right. I've been working on building a case against some of the politicians, with the help of our local police chief, Kim Minseok. It won't be easy, but we have to start somewhere."

Chanyeol's eyes gleamed with resolve. "I've been preparing too.. My family's past may be tainted, but I want to make amends. I have a plan, and it involves exposing the truth and bringing those responsible to justice."

Kyungsoo raised his glass in a silent toast. "To justice, Yeol, and to the mysteries that bring us together. We'll make this city a better place, one step at a time."

[haveanotherkpopblog]

Once Upon a Dream

Preview

Pairing(s): Byun Baekhyun x Fem!Reader, Park Chanyeol x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, Drama, Fluff, Royalty!AU

Word Count: 1.2K

Warnings: Mild Language

Masterlist

Once upon a time, in a far away land known as Ellesmere, there sat a palace. The palace sat tucked into a mountain side, watching over the whole kingdom from its perch. Red, black and gold covered the ceiling, walls, and tables inside the palace. Nobles and courtiers danced around the ballroom as beautiful music mingled with their laughter and talking, creating a harmony you could only wish to hear. Whispers flew through their ears of bets on who the Prince, whom the ball was being held for, would choose as his bride, his future queen.

The doors to the ballroom swung open and two of the contending ladies stepped through. One of noble breeding, the other from a humble background. They made their way down the steps, arms interlocked as the music swirled around them. One turned to the other, a rueful smile on her face as she took in her competitor, her friend’s, appearance.

“You look so beautiful. The Prince won’t be able to keep his eyes off of you,” she said, a bittersweet tone to her voice as she bowed her head. She smoothed the creases of her dark green dress. It shimmered under the pale light of the chandeliers with every step or turn she took. Her dark curls sat high on her head, kept out of her face unlike her usual mane that bounced without restriction.

“Ha!” A cold, chilling laugh turned the pair’s attention towards yet another competitor. A young woman stepped up to them, her fiery gaze upon them. Danger and power radiated off her like heat from the sun. She wore a dark purple with light grey undertones. Her violet hair sat in a pristine bun at the nape of neck. She looked every bit the noble lady she’d been raised to be.

“He might like the way she looks, but when it comes to choosing his future queen, he knows who’ll be able to handle ruling at his side.” The humble maiden smiled a sweet, genuine smile that stabbed the miser’s heart.

“May the best woman win,” she said. The purple-haired noble pursed her lips, looking down her nose. She spared the other lady a fleeting glance before she gave a smile back.

“I plan to.” She turned on her heel and marched away, her hips swaying with each step. The women shook their heads as they watched her walk away.

A loud trumpet blared, drawing their attention to where the herald would be announcing the Prince’s arrival. Their hearts pounded in the chests as the realization dawned on them fully that tonight was the night that lives would be changed, for better or worse. Sweat formed on the brow of the fair maiden as she did her best to steady her breath.

“Here he comes.”

The Prince, young and handsome, stopped before the ladies, offering them each a deep bow. His brown locks, usually free to bounce and dangle as they pleased, had been combed into a perfect side part, giving him the usual Prince Charming glow. He turned to the humble maiden, entranced at how her eyes shone like diamonds under the soft light of the chandeliers.

“May I request this dance?” he inquired.

“Absolutely.” She bowed, slipping her hand into his waiting hand with a smile.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” He gave her a grin, leading her to the center of the ballroom.

Another waltz began, and they glided around with complete grace. The other nobles and guests seemed to disappear while time stood still between as they gazed into each other’s eyes. Her gown swirled around them with each twirl as she glided through each step with practiced ease, as if she’d been dancing her whole life.

“Just to think, a few months ago, I didn’t know the first steps to a waltz,” she mused with a thoughtful smile.

“And now no one would ever know that you weren’t born into this life,” the Prince replied. His face grew solemn the longer he stared at her. “I hope you never regret coming here.”

“Why would you say that?” she asked, surprised.

“Well, so much has happened and…” The Prince trailed off as the song began to wind down. Yet, the Prince could not bear to pull himself away from her--not quite yet. “I need to talk to you.”

“Is everything alright?” she asked, her heart beating out of control at six simple words. The Prince sighed.

“It’s been impossible to get even a moment alone with you these last few days, but I need to know--”

“Ahem!” Both she and the Prince jumped. They looked over to see the purple-haired nobel. She didn’t spare the young maiden a glance as she batted her eyelashes at the Prince. “Your Highness, may I be so bold as to cut in?”

“Oh, of course,” the Prince said, startled, and somewhat disappointed. The young maiden placed a soft and delicate hand on his elbow.

“We’ll talk later,” she assured him.

“Yes.”

As the Prince glided away, the young maiden made her way to the side of the ballroom, where she spotted a familiar and comforting face. He stood brooding against the wall, his arms folded over his chest as he took in his surroundings. When he spotted the young maiden, his jaw hit the ground. He called to her, unable to believe his own eyes. She let out a gentle laugh, surprised as well.

“I didn’t know you’d be here tonight,” she said. Servants of the palace walked by them, holding trays with savory food that tickled their noses. She snatched an hor d’oeuvre off a passing tray, popping it into her mouth before others had the chance to see. He nodded his head towards the Prince, oblivious to her previous actions.

“He insisted.” He turned to look at the young maiden. “I guess I should congratulate you.” The young maiden turned her head, furrowing her brows. “You look exactly like one of them. I guess you are one of them, now.” His face darkened as he turned away from her. “This time tomorrow, you might be the future queen. And then our lives are going in very different directions.”

The young maiden followed his gaze to the dance floor. The music was swelling as the guests laughed and drank with each other. Courtly gossip and political satire circled through them like water in a noria. She gave a soft smile, using a gentle hand to turn his attention back to her.

“If I’m chosen as the Prince’s bride, I’ll still be me,” she said. He gave her a rueful smile, looking down at her dress.

“Looking at you now, it’s hard to believe that.” His face turned serious once again, staring off past her shoulder at nothing in particular. “This place has a way of changing people, and some of us liked the girl you used to be. You know that, right?”

“I promise, I’m still the same me, even under this fancy ball gown.” She started grinning, nudging him with her shoulder. “If I ever get too cocky, just remind me that the first time we met, I was taking out garbage and waiting tables.” He laughed, shaking his head.

“Feels like so long ago, now. Can’t believe it’s only been a few months.

“Yeah, but after everything that’s happened, it feels more like…”

[astroyongie]

https://at.tumblr.com/astroyongie/705559694703509505/1khuogjcmqhf

Before I know exo much deeper, Kai and Sehun always give me a playboy vibes. But kyungsoo is really unexpected because he look quiet, calm and a bit of cold, I never expect he will be playboy lmao.. Chanyeol, I was think he might a playboy too but since he has that fiery spirit so I believe he passionately love someone. Kai & Sehun has playboy look , but I think they actually the opposite. The most loyal member, I think we all know who... Hehe.. Mr cotton Kim

Like honestly the players in exo are: Kyungsoo, Minseok, Sehun and Yixing

Kyungsoo is quite and simple but that Pisces Venus makes him way too flirty on his own way and never content with what he was. Always seeking more

Minseok is has too much Aquarius energy influence on his chat which prônes him to freedom, serious relationships aren’t for him unless he really loves the person

Sehun like I said, is a flirt but he isn’t the type to fight for people. But he flirts, make people gets addicted and awaits for them to crawl back for his attention

As for Yixing, Libra mars makes him very sensual and flirty. He likes to be amused, to be seduced and he also likes those little games so definitely has more experience than he shows

[skinnedlknees]

BASICS

FULL NAME: KIM CHAN-YEOL [ 김찬열 ]

» MEANING: Kim [ (Hangul: 김) is the most common surname in Korea. Kim is written as 김 (gim) in both North and South Korea. The hanja for Kim, 金, can also be transliterated as 금 (geum) which means "gold, metal, iron". ) was the name of a family that rose to prominence and became the rulers of Silla for 700 years. .]; Chan-yeol [ From Sino-Korean 燦 (chan) "vivid, illuminating; bright" and 烈 (yeol) "fiery, violent, vehement, ardent".]

VERSES: The Game, Excess Baggage, Fear of 13.

NICKNAME(S): Chan, Channie.

AGE: 28-years old.

DATE OF BIRTH: 1994 September 12, Monday.

PLACE OF BIRTH: Gwangju, South Korea.

OCCUPATION: English/Korean Teacher.

RELIGION: Born Catholic, non-practicing. Spiritual but not religious.

ORIENTATION: Heterosexual; heteroromantic.

GENDER: Cisgender male.

PERSONALITY

STRENGTHS: Loyal, Analytical, Kind, Hardworking, Practical.

WEAKNESSES: Shyness, Workaholic, Insecure, Overly Critical, Worry a lot.

APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: Kim Nam-joon.

HEIGHT: 6’0” [ 182 cm.]

WEIGHT: 154 lbs. [ 70 kg. ]

BUILD: Athletic.

GAIT: TBA.

HAIR COLOR: Black.

EYE COLOR: Brown.

BIRTHMARK: TBA.

OVERVIEW:

» SCARS: Small ones from playing when he was little.

» TATTOOS: None.

BACKGROUND

HOMETOWN: Gwangju, South Korea.

RESIDENCES: Gwangju and Seoul, South Korea.

NATIONALITY: Korean.

ETHNICITY: Asian.

FINANCIAL: Lower middle-class.

EDUCATION LEVEL: University graduate.

DEGREES: Education.

SPOKEN LANGUAGES: Chanyeol is fluent in Hangul, his native language. He is also fluent in English which he teaches in high school. He is also learning some other European languages like French and Spanish. He is fluent in Japanese and can converse well in Mandarin.

RELATIONSHIPS

PARENTS: Names to be added; both alive.

SIBLINGS: Younger brother and sister.

CHILDREN: He has no children.

PETS: He has a cat.

SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIPS: Chanyeol is very good friends with Riri. They met when Chanyeol briefly lived in Jeju with his mother’s parents due to some hardships. He went to school there but eventually transferred back to Gwangju to finish. 

» TBA.

FAMILY HISTORY: There’s nothing much extraordinary about Chanyeol’s life. He grew up in a loving home although you can say his parents are ‘traditional.’ They were strict and still are and stressed out the importance of finishing school. His mother was an elementary teacher and his father was a farmer. Chanyeol and his siblings helped out their parents as they grew up not having a lot although their parents always made sure there's food on the table. 

Chanyeol and his siblings were raised to be humble and family-oriented.

Chanyeol went to college in Seoul; his parents working hard to send him to a university where he could get good education. He worked at the same time to help pay for his tuition although he did get scholarship because of his exceptional grades.

Chanyeol didn’t right away finish college. He had to stop for a year when his father got sick. He went back home to help around the farm and also support his younger siblings. He finally returned to university when his father was strong enough to manage some work. 

Once he graduated, he right away went job hunting and once working, he made sure to help out his parents. His mother still teaches but only part-time and manages a small store with his father as well. Both of his siblings are also in school. 

Chanyeol is very focused on work; he loves teaching. He works part-time as a sub at a high school in Seoul and he does cram school teaching English as well. He does private tutoring which makes him most of his money.

Re-connecting with Riri in Seoul gave Chanyeol an opportunity to open up a whole new side of his career. He has been hired by a few managers and trainers to tutor their young idol trainees. 

ROMANTIC HISTORY: Chanyeol dated but when his parents start nagging him about getting married, he doesn’t necessarily get scared but he breaks up with his s/o - he doesn’t like the pressure of being forced to start his own family. Besides, he has a lot he would like to achieve. 

PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS: He is good friends with Riri and Hajun.

THOUGHTS ON LOVE: "Has its time and place.”

HEALTH

PHOBIA(S): Nothing really.

HANDICAP(S): None.

MENTAL DISORDER: Anxiety.

PHYSICAL DISEASE(S): None.

PREDISPOSITION(S): Depression.

[tewwor]

* & VERSE MASTERLIST — EUN .

Full descriptions under the readmore.

apocalyptic variations

royalty

forest spirit

hunter

crime / witch

APOCALYPTIC VARIATIONS — SURVIVAL OF THE WEARY .  

** NOTE: this verse can be melded to just about any apocalyptic scene regardless of fandom. There might be a few tweaks here and there for specific details, but the following will typically remain the same:

Eun is primarily categorized as a survivalist. Given his already extensive background of wildlife ( both animals and plants ) and geography, he’s extremely adept in recognizing dangers, shelter, etc. 

Tough as the world may have become, Eun still carries on with hope. True, it might be an uphill battle to cling to such an aspiration, but that’s his burden to bear while trying his damndest to uplift morale. 

There’s a 90% chance he’s looking for his brother as a goal. 

Still quite the pacifist, but there’s more understanding that the world has only gotten crueler. Thus, he allows himself to pull out all the stops to deal with unsavory situations accordingly. He’s proficient in close combat, mid skill with blades and guns.

ROYALTY.  

*** NOTE: This verse is shared among both brothers and differs on what information was restricted from Chanyeol. Their demeanor also remains true to their main verse.

Eun’s top priority has always revolved around Chanyeol’s safety from day one, as he was unable to deny the knowledge that his brother bore royal blood.

This resolve even extended to the threat made by his step-father, the king, once Chanyeol’s existence was made known decades later. Eun took it upon himself to ensure that no harm would come Chanyeol’s way even if that meant dealing with the assassination attempts on his own.

With the help of others ( that he toes the line of being indebted to ), word spread of ‘the tragedy’ that was the king’s death. Although the heinous act was orchestrated by none other than himself, Eun acted none the wiser to everyone — even Chanyeol. 

He had high hopes that the dabbling in royal affairs would stop there, but his brother decided to make it known that there was, in fact, an heir to the throne. Thus, Eun refuses to let another serve as the crown prince’s retainer and keeps a very close eye on anyone that attempts to get close to Chanyeol.

FOREST SPIRIT .

The time reads 7:21 PM and the sun finally rests her weary head. Blood orange apricot starbursts across distant ridges until the entire sky’s stained a rotten plum. Beneath such calamity lies the ruin of cinders and soot and incomplete hope. 

Eun dies where he loved most. Out in the woods, in this national park, he’s grown to cherish as his own home. He dies doing what he loved most. Keeping others from harm’s way, saving them to continue on with their life. 

On occasion, you’ll hear a jolly tune weave through the spindly tree top and beneath dappled spots of sun. Wait long enough and you’ll see him. A man with mopish hair, geared in uniform and likely inspecting some flora or another. Greet him and you’ll be met with overflowing amiability. A kind smile shines and reminds you of a friend from distant past, a deeply liked relative of lost contact — someone close and familiar and trusting. 

Start conversation with him and you’ll learn clusters of aureate wisdom of the world around you. If you’re lost and in need of help, he’ll be the first to help guide your wary steps to the forest’s edge. Yet no matter how comfortable this genial man might be..  You can’t dismiss the unease. A sense of danger that flutters deep within you, but unable to pinpoint why.

Always disappears without a word before sunset, but don’t be foolish enough to think that you’re alone. A man of dying embers and acrid winds come into view as the horizon splashes red.

Essentially, Eun’s a friendly spirit that helps lost travelers during the day. At night, he busts into this fiery thing that seeks to upkeep the forest’s best interest & health. And if that means he needs to dispose of the souls that harm it.. Then so be it. 

HUNTER .  

When Eun moved across the states, he honestly thought that he was going to continue his mundane, yet modest, life. Except the longer he worked as a forest ranger.. the more odd things got. At first it wasn't much to shake him. Faint figures in the thickets, something that sounded like a whisper that the dry winds carried... it was all easy to ignore. That was until he came across something he simply couldn't come to terms with.

There had been reports of a few missing hikers. It wasn't uncommon until the bodies were found weeks later; all disemboweled and ruined beyond recognition. Everyone chalked it up to an unfortunate animal attack, but something bugged him about the way his fellow rangers treated the accidents. They seemed to be neutral with the occurrences- too neutral. Of course, he assumed it had to do with how long they've been on duty, but that feeling stuck with him.

It'd been by pure chance that he came across the source of it all. Eun had been making his usual rounds when he felt something off. The complete lack of bird calls, how heavy the air suddenly felt and the lightest crunch of needles underneath careful feet. He had all but stopped where he was; hand already on the buckle of his sheathed knife just in case.

Then the growling started.

It wasn't the typical sound of a coyote or wolf, mind you. It was deeper, more guttural than anything he had come across. Slowly, he turned in an attempt to spot the creature, but all he saw was a sudden blur; much too close to add up with the distance he had assumed the being to be at. Eun had tensed in expectation to feel pain, but all that happened was the loud crack of a gun. An ungodly screech followed suit, and he was left unscathed. Confused, he opened his eyes and saw that two other rangers were in the distance- both of which were grim faced. The body of the creature was dealt with while they filled him in on what just happened. They had hoped that he wouldn't come across the others during his time here, but it was practically unavoidable at this point. Once a person sees them, they're forever changed.

From that point on, Eun was trained to seek and deal with the otherworldly that lurked within the great reserve. Decades passed before he decided to retire and move back to his hometown in order to look after his sickly mother. After her passing, he was left to his own devices once more. And while his skills and senses are still just as sharp, Eun isn't too keen on hunting things that don't cause direct trouble.

CRIME / WITCH — BLOSSOMS FROM BLOOD . 

tw: buried alive

Eun was born to a couple that never had the intention of marrying. And while that was a mutual agreement, no one had expected his father to just up and leave a few days after he was born. Only in her early twenties, his mother did her best to raise him on her own. Naturally, there were a lot of ups and downs throughout his childhood and early teens, but they both loved each other at the end of the day.

His mother fell in love with another man 12 years later, and this time they saw things through completely. Wedded after a handful of months and out came his little brother, Chanyeol; loud as the trumpets blasting on high. Barely settled in his young adolescence, Eun knew the importance of family. Had it ingrained that the Hans take care of their own no matter the cost — they only had themselves to rely on, after all.

So it only made sense how Eun took it to heart when he stumbled upon his step-father’s whispers of adulatory. He, of course, made sure to get concrete evidence while a decision formed piece by piece.

Passive, aggressive, unknowing.

It’d only been a year since his mother’s remarriage. Only a single year, and the honeymoon phase was slit from the back. Deep seated rage began to boil the longer he ghosted his step-father’s footsteps. Higher and higher the anger simmered until it came to an abrupt halt. Once a close call where his mother almost found out was all it took for Eun to finally take action.

Clever was he to practice personalized script and leave a neatly folded note at the kitchen table. One last shred of that foul man’s presence before disappearing forever. Not of his own violation, though. Of course not. But it didn’t matter the moment he asked his step-father to come out back. *** tw: buried alive start *** The fireflies look especially bright tonight— come look and see. Watch as the ground gives way beneath your feet without a moment’s notice. Witness how the silver moon slims into a pinprick when dirt and clay and root and rubble swallow the rest of your days. Understand the mistakes of your actions as the world turns without pause, unbothered by your absence. *** tw: buried alive end ***

Now a family of three, Eun continued to watch over his family. He worked his ass off throughout the rest of his youth to help burden some of the financial weight. Took up whatever odd job he could when he wasn’t legal to work— even past then when he was of age. It was hard to balance his life, lend a shoulder for their mother to lean on, and be a father/brother figure to Chanyeol. Yet he never gave up and always pulled through to the best of his abilities. Even as his brother wrapped himself in danger, found a little too much comfort and joy the deeper he descended.

So he, too, descended after their mother succumbed to sickness. He has to keep an eye on the remaining members of his family — even if that means climbing the ranks for power and perfect the disappearance of those missing; somewhere deep where light never reaches.

[spotify-k-pop-persona-quiz]

Spotify K-Pop Persona Quiz

Uncover Your K-Pop Persona: Discover Your Inner Idol!

K-Pop has taken the world by storm, captivating fans with its high-energy beats, synchronized choreography, and charming personalities. With its immense global popularity, it's no wonder fans are eager to find out which K-Pop idol they resonate with the most. If you're curious about your K-Pop persona, you're in the right place!

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K-Pop idols are more than just talented performers; they're also trendsetters, role models, and inspirations to millions. Their unique personalities, styles, and charisma have contributed significantly to their massive fan base. From the fierce and confident stage presence of BTS's RM to the bubbly and playful demeanor of (G)I-DLE's Soyeon, each idol has a distinct persona that sets them apart.

What's Your K-Pop Persona?

Ever wondered which K-Pop idol you're most similar to? Do you have the fiery passion of Red Velvet's Seulgi or the smooth, charming vibes of EXO's Baekhyun? Our K-Pop Persona Quiz is designed to help you discover your inner idol!

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Ready to uncover your K-Pop persona? Take our interactive Spotify K-Pop Persona Quiz and get ready to find your K-Pop alter ego! This fun and engaging quiz will ask you a series of questions about your personality, preferences, and values. Based on your answers, you'll be matched with a K-Pop idol who shares similar traits and characteristics.

Meet the Most Popular K-Pop Stars

Before you take the quiz, let's get familiar with some of the most popular K-Pop stars who might just be your persona match:

BTS (RM, Jin, Suga, J-Hope, Jimin, V, Jungkook)

Blackpink (Rosé, Jennie, Lisa, Jisoo)

EXO (Baekhyun, Chanyeol, D.O., Kai, Sehun)

Red Velvet (Seulgi, Irene, Wendy, Joy, Yeri)

(G)I-DLE (Soyeon, Minnie, Yuqi, Shuhua, Miyeon)

Twice (Nana, Naomi, Momo, Sana, Jihyo)

Discover Your K-Pop Alter Ego

Our K-Pop Persona Quiz is designed to be a fun and insightful experience. By taking the quiz, you'll not only discover which K-Pop idol you're most similar to but also gain a deeper understanding of your own personality, strengths, and weaknesses. So, what are you waiting for? Take the first step in uncovering your K-Pop persona and find out which idol you're meant to be!

Embark on a Journey of Self-Discovery

Our quiz is more than just a fun activity; it's a journey of self-discovery. By exploring your K-Pop persona, you'll gain a fresh perspective on your personality, interests, and values. You might even discover new K-Pop groups and idols to add to your playlist!

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By taking our quiz, you'll become part of a vibrant community of K-Pop enthusiasts who share your passion and enthusiasm. Share your results with friends and family, and get ready to bond over your shared love of K-Pop!

Uncover Your K-Pop Persona Today!

What are you waiting for? Take the first step in discovering your inner K-Pop idol and uncover your unique persona!

[tewwor-moving]

* & INTROSPECTION — CHANYEOL & CHINMAE .

they first met abroad by happenstance. a shoulder knocked, a drink spilled, and the start of a fiery tongue caught short by the immediate offer of a plain handkerchief.

“strong gust of wind,” said the doe-eyed stranger, tone far deeper than expected at face value.

that face alone would have been an adequate distraction.. if it hadn’t been made transparent by the hot sting of coffee. “what kind of shitty apology is that?”

“it wasn’t one. just stating a fact.”

somehow, they both left without a scuffle or single scratch.

similar instances kept looping their paths together. three weeks, 13 days, 5 months — they’d catch sight of one another. chinmae always out on a delivery. chanyeol always minutes shy of a job. eventually they get to talking. petty insults changed to inside jokes. the occasional remark passed as an agent of future secret ruin.

things were explosive when they finally got to dating. their respective fast lives never stopped.  they rushed rendezvous, hurriedly tumbled into bed.. the only time they allowed stillness to settle was just before dawn crept past the horizon. even then they would sleep fitfully. dreaming eyes shifted beneath closed lids, the occasional jut of a foot, or staggered breath.

scarce were the times either woke to an occupied bed. someone would usually be out under the cover of night, knowing full well how the unveiling of nature’s light might translate that early in the day. but what were they to do? one was too chewed up by nerves and the other shackled by impatience.

they had the chemistry of an accelerant mere inches from a spark and the bond of a moth to a flame.

still, they tried until it wasn’t enough.

“we’ve been toeing the line too long. i’ve been ready to jump if you are.” pressed words spoken in that same velvety murmur, though now jagged at the very edges.

not yet fully acquainted with the help of quietude, the unspoken ultimatum makes him think for once. “you always loved the air more than i did,” says the serpent sharp tongue, “i’m afraid you’ll have to travel it alone, blue jay.”

so chinmae did. he took flight and let the punctures of venom run its natural course. over time, they lessened in pain. reminders of them dissolved into benign memories — facts kept catalogued as the wind between glossy wings.

[joh-ahae]

ＨＡＰＰＹ　ＶＡＬＥＮＴＩＮＥＳ　ＤＡＹ

 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗖𝗬-𝗟'𝘀 💖

[sandpiiee]

◢ EXO - Obsession ◣

This is my edit for Typography (Hierarchic grid with filmic collage deconstruction) assignment last semester! |ω・) ♪  ✧

────

i only put all screenshots of this M/V together, all images © S.M.Entertainment.

[orangevanillathrock]

Y'all I am sINNING

[mgg-81]

Torrid [P.CY]

(CREDITS TO THE OWNER OF THIS GIF)

A/N'S NOTE: This is like a horribly rushed one-shot even though it's been proofread or something. I just had to get it out of my system out of stress. I also couldn't get out of my head the image of Chanyeol using his power and thought of him as a captain from the anime. This one-shot was derived from an episode but I had to put some changes. (GO WATCH FIRE FORCE Y'ALL!)

Genre: Fire Force!AU, Captain!Chanyeol AU, Action, Fantasy

Ratings and Warnings: PG (violence)

Characters: Park Chanyeol X GN!Reader ft. the EXOs as members of the Special Fire Force (some mentioned, others aren't)

Word Count: 825

Date of Publication: 11-02-2022

Blurry vision was held in your eyes. An array of colors blinding from red, orange, and yellow danced like lights in a fiery nightclub, engaging in the highest of highs. Meanwhile, your head and whole anatomy felt like they were dunked up and down in lava as if you were a guinea pig ready to be tested for the heat.

This wasn’t what should’ve happened.

Empty and harrowing hallways engulfed you as you heard unwanted metal clanging from almost everywhere, clanging and echoing like you were inside of a factory. Leaks here and there protrude with snapped electric wires and scrapped metals filled with dust. The whole place was abandoned.

Your chest kept rising and falling; you wanted to shout at Baekhyun, one of your teammates, who was idiotic enough to lead to an unfortunate incident, leaving you separated from the rest of the Special Fire Force Company 9.

Now on your own, pondering the seemingly limitless path that you felt would never lead to anywhere and only go deeper, your ears suddenly perked up at the loud banging a few steps forward from where you were. Not wasting a single second, your feet lit on fire, projecting you to where the sound emanated, swerving to the left and right until you landed in a big room that seemingly looked like an extravagant living room.

However, what you didn’t expect was the groaning form of your captain appearing before you. He was on his knees, with his arms covered in wounds. The blood had dried up. He was panting heavily, seemingly weakening as if he had just come out from heavy labor. Only his ragged breaths were clear as if a cut-edged knife had been heard in the whole room.

"Captain Park?" you said, breaking the silence.

He lifted his head, eyes widening. He tried to get up, but he soon wobbled and winced in pain. You were about to step forward when he suddenly shouted.

"Don’t come near!"

Unfortunately, his warning came a bit too late.

A bright and burning force slammed against you hard, with the back of your head flinging shut against the wall, cutting off your state of consciousness.

"Y/N!"

You felt arms entwined in yours, carefully lifting you from where you had been hoisted up against earlier, placing you in their grasp. Your head was still throbbing from the impact, but you had to stay alert. With difficulty, you sat with the help of someone who held you.

"Be careful," a deep voice gently told you.

Rubbing your temples, you swift your head to the voice’s owner, finding Capt. Park Chanyeol’s face, which was a few inches away from yours. The quick instinct came into your senses, hovering away from him. His brow furrowed in response to your actions, but he quickly shook his head, extending his hand for you to help yourself to your feet.

"You okay, rookie?" he asked.

You did a salute. "Yes, sir. I apologize for being knocked out earlier. "

He snorted in amusement. "That’s fine. I experienced that too.

You were about to reply to him when an awful screech interrupted the two of you, bringing you both back to what your real agenda was. A few feet away, an infernal was in animalistic defense, preparing to strike the two of you again.

The scorching vicinity around the pair of you was nowhere near the heightened tension as Captain Park immediately ignited the fire in his hands, whereas you flared up, from head to toe, into your unusual blue flames, ready to retaliate.

“Blue flame wielder…” you heard the infernal mutter. You were about to decipher what the creature meant when you were interrupted by your captain, squeezing your shoulder and nodding once.

“Y/N GO!” Captain Park commanded. You didn’t think twice as your body burned unsteadily and projected towards the infernal, landing a hard kick. It was straight away followed by the captain, blowing a punch and sending the infernal against the barricades of the room, the collision producing a hole in the wall with flying stones and billowing smoke.

While your temporary attacks gave you a little bit of victory, the infernal came into its senses. Like a slithering snake, it was about to jump on the captain when it was instantaneously blasted to the side of the room as if a wrecking ball had hit it, the wall receiving it again.

Your eyes and of the captain’s widened at the intrusive attack. Turning to where the source of the strike, your spirits were lifted as the rest of Fire Force Special Company 9 appeared, with Kyungsoo in the lead, wielding their fire abilities and other equipment in bringing back an infernal to the great fire. Nonetheless, your face slowly turned into a frown upon seeing Baekhyun, an annoying grin plastered to his face.

“Sorry, we’re late,” Baekhyun held up a peace sign.

“YOU LITTLE SHIT,” both you and Captain Park roared.

[mymoodwriting]

Anomaly

F!Reader x EXO

Genre: Angels/Demons AU

Warning: Violence, Blood, Impalement, Kidnapping

Words: 3.6K

Chapters:

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Epilogue

Prompt: You grew up in a happy home despite being abandoned as a child. Or at least it was happy until one revelation starts shinning a light on all the questionable things that surrounded your family. That is if they ever had your best interest at heart.

“Come at me!”

    Taemin chuckled as he took you in. You were certainly confident, more than eager to swing your sword. Despite your beliefs he only saw you as some untrained child, but he figured he would at least amuse you. Taemin drew his own sword, holding it out at his side.

“Do you even know how to use this?”

“No time like the present.”

“Then by all means, fight me.”

    You stared him down, knowing very well you were out of your depth, but you couldn’t just sit back and do nothing, not anymore. You managed to create a fire ball and throw it at him, using the distraction to charge and make your move. In the end your swords clashed, and you stood your ground. You’d think with fiery blades you’d feel the heat against your face, but there was only the adrenaline of survival coursing through your veins.

“You’ve improved since last time.”

“Stay away from my family!”

“They’re not your family.”

    You kicked him back, going for another hit but he threw you back with a fireball. For a moment you lost your sword, tumbling to the ground, but you got it back just as Taemin came to strike you down.

“If you come with me, you can do so much better.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“We’ll see about that.”

    You could feel Taemin overpowering you, but then he was knocked off balance. When you looked over you could see your family running towards you and you felt a sense of relief. Xiumin and Suho were quickly at your side, helping you up.

“Are you okay?”

“What about you? The other-”

“We’re fine.” Suho said. “The fallen are having a family reunion.”

“You left them!”

“Y/n, we have to go. Come on.”

    You got up, unsure of what would happen next, but you noticed Chanyeol and Tao fly through the air and crash into the ground before you. The three of you looked back to see Taemin wielding his sword, fire on the trees and floor around him.

“Now this is more of a fight. Are you gonna run?”

“No.”

    You took a step towards him but were held back. Taemin chuckled, putting out the fires around him. His eyes glowed, and he dug his sword into the ground, a huge wave of energy exploding from the impact and knocking you all down, or at least you. The others were screaming in agony from the hit, deeply affected by angel fire. Seeing all that built a rage inside you. This wasn’t a time to stand around, you had to act. Your eyes glowed, drawing your own sword and pulling out your wings.

“Leave my family alone!”

    Taemin glanced over at you, the grin on his face falling away. He pulled his sword out of the ground, holding it out to the side.

“This is over.”

    In the blink of an eye Taemin was right in front of you, and it took a moment to register the pain in your chest. You pulled your wings back, looking down as blood spilled out of your mouth, seeing a sword in your chest. The pain and shock wound up knocking you out, and you collapsed against Taemin. His sword faded away and he picked you up in your arms, not entirely concerned over your comfort. He pulled out his own wings and took to the skies with you, leaving your family to watch you disappear.

    Xiumin tried to draw his own wings but they were still recovering from the burn he suffered. Any attempts to take off ended in agony, Suho and Yixing having to hold him down. They were gonna need to recover, and they were honestly lucky to be alive. The older ones checked on the others, seeing the injuries they had sustained. It was all bad burns, but no limbs were missing. After a while they saw shadows pass by, everyone getting defensive only to see Karina and her girls landing down, each bearing their own injuries.

“I’m surprised you’re not dead.” Karina commented.

“Me too.” Suho said. “What happened to you?”

“We were kicking those assholes into the ground.” Winter stated. “Then they had their nephilim distract us before fleeing. I see you lost yours.”

“So they got what they came for…”

“Yeah. It seems so.”

“Now, what?” Sehun asked. “What do we do? How do we get y/n back?”

“I don’t know.” Xiumin admitted. “I don’t know…”

    A sense of doom started to settle in. Not just about the consequences the world would face but what would happen to you. In their eyes you were still a kid, and they had failed to protect you. While they tried to come up with solutions, Kyungsoo noticed the girls were staring at Karina with knowing looks. There was something they weren’t telling them.

“What?” Kyungsoo questioned. “Do y’all know something?”

    With that the others immediately perked up, eyes on Karina. Xiumin stalked up to her, aware of the gears turning in her head. She knew something.

“What is it? What aren’t you telling us?”

“What’s the point? We’ll wind up at the start all over again.”

“Huh?”

“You want my help? I’ll give it on one condition.”

“Which is?”

“She falls.”

“We’ve been over this.”

“Then there’s no point in helping you.”

“She-”

“This isn’t just about her! You refuse to see beyond that, so we’re done.”

“You have to help-”

“I will be getting her back, with or without you.”

“If she falls then she’ll definitely be hunted down.”

“Then all your lies become the truth.”

“You-”

“Karina…” Giselle picked up a gray feather from the ground. “I thought…”

“Well, it seems the choice is out of your hands now.”

“What are you talking about?” Suho questioned. “What about the feather?”

“Care to guess?” Karina teased. “An angel has white feathers, a fallen has black. You demons don’t have feathers, so where do you think the gray one came from?”

    NingNing lifted up her wings for extra effect, shaking them a bit to make loose feathers fall. It slowly began to dawn on everyone what the gray feather meant, and they all turned to Xiumin. He already knew the answer by then, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to say it out loud. Besides, something else was on his mind.

“As I’ve understood, an angel falls when they harm innocents or attack divine beings. How the hell could she possibly-”

“She’s a nephilim. Our rules apply and then some. Her human side can surely get her to fall, even if she doesn’t know it.”

“…”

“If you’re not going to side with me then we’re done. You can be sure that I’ll-”

“Did it hurt?”

“Huh?”

“When you fell… did it hurt?”

“Why wouldn’t it hurt to be cast out of your home? To lose the connection to your family. My girls didn’t have to follow me, but they did, and I’m grateful for them. Although y/n didn’t live as an angel, so she won’t experience what I, what we, did. At best it’ll probably feel like letting go of a part of her to embrace another.”

“And was it worth it?”

“I got to be with those I love. I’ll never regret that.”

    As a demon one would think they feared nothing, but over the last couple years they all had come to fear losing the same thing, you. Xiumin had understood for a while that what was happening was beyond their own desires. He took a moment to process, to come to terms himself with the decision he’s made.

“How can we get her back?”

“Does that mean-”

“Yes, now answer me.”

“Well, she’s technically half angel, and just like angels, and demons, she can be summoned. Theoretically that is.”

“So you’re not even sure?” Suho questioned. “We’re gonna trust you on a theory?”

“Do you have any ideas then? Are you gonna go break into heaven?”

“…”

“Thought so.”

“What do you need from us?” Yixing asked. “Summoning anything is far from easy.”

“We need a place, and items that have a strong connection to her. If anything it’d be easier to summon an angel or demon, a nephilim is a whole other story.”

“What about her feathers?” Baekhyun asked. “They have a connection to her, right?”

“They do. Excellent point. Let’s get as many of those as we can.”

“We have some of her things at one of our houses.” Tao added. “We could use that as well.”

“Then we can do the ritual there and-”

“No.” Xiumin interrupted. “I know a better place.”

♥♥♥♥♥

    You slowly opened your eyes, the memories rushing back in. You jumped up, hands on your chest, remembering that you got stabbed. As you felt around, looking down, you could see your clothes weren’t your own, and you had no injury. You checked under your shirt, confirming that you had completely healed.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I need to end things quickly.“

    You finally noticed Taemin in the room. He came over to your bedside, and you kept your eyes on him the whole way, remaining alert.

“You stabbed me.”

“And I healed you. As you can see you’ve suffered no injuries.”

“What about the mental scars?”

“Ah… well I can-”

    Taemin reached over to your head but you pushed his hand away. He may be calm and collected but you didn’t trust him.

“Where am I?”

“Heaven.”

“You… killed me…”

“No. As a nephilim you can enter heaven without giving up your mortal body.”

“Okay… well I’d like to leave now and-”

“But you’re home.”

“This isn’t home.”

“It’s the place your family resides, the place you belong. Is it not?”

“Home can be many things but this is not it for me.”

    You got up, intending to find some sort of exit on your own but Taemin grabbed you and held you back. You tried to get free but he held you tight.

“You can’t leave.”

“Let go.”

“There is much to-”

    The door to the room suddenly opened, and some familiar faces stepped through. You freed yourself from Taemin’s grasp, stepping back. Now you were outnumbered and getting nervous. You wanted to go home, you wanted to make sure your family and friends were alright, but you had to keep your head up, showing them that you weren’t afraid.

“It’s good to see you’re awake.”

“Why am I here?” You questioned. “What did you do to-”

“We’ve brought you home so we can talk.” Onew interrupted. “This is Heaven.”

“Taemin already told me that. So, I don’t wanna talk, I want to leave.”

“You should at least hear us out. It’s only fair, don’t you think?”

“Why should I when all you’ve done is hunt me down!”

“We were never trying to kill you.” Key explained. “That’s just a lie those demons told you.”

“So you’ve never killed nephilim before?”

“…”

“My point exactly. Changing your mind now for whatever reason doesn’t change the past. Thanks for not wanting me dead, but I don’t want to be here.”

“You belong here.” Minho stated. “And we need you.”

“For what? Actually, no, I don’t care. Just leave me-”

“We’re going to close Heaven.”

    Silence filled the room. You were processing but all the others were staring at Minho, apparently he wasn’t just supposed to blurt that out.

“What… what do you mean close Heaven? That doesn’t even make sense.”

“This is what we wanted to discuss.” Onew continued. “As I’m sure you know, here in Heaven we care for the souls of the deceased. Our reason for existence has always been to look after humanity, but they’ve grown and come into their own, therefore our services are no longer needed.”

“Wait, you’re talking about abandoning Earth. You’re just gonna stay up here and ignore-”

“We’ve done what was necessary.” Jonghyun cut in. “We should focus on keeping this place up and running, and caring for those we truly have a responsibility to.”

“Now you’re just making excuses. And what does this have to do with me?”

“A lot of power is needed to close Heaven, thus we’ve been bringing home many of our brothers and sisters, and you are our niece.”

“Then where is my father? If you’re trying to preserve your numbers you wouldn’t kill him then.”

“Your father still broke a sacred rule and-”

“Bastards!”

    You lunged at Jonghyun, expecting fire and your wings to appear, but there was nothing but your rage. You had tackled him to the ground, and now you were just pinning him down, confused.

“What the hell did you do to me!”

“Nothing.” Taemin responded. “Your powers don’t manifest here because there’s no need for them. You’re home after all.”

“Stop calling it that.”

    Minho and Key pulled you off of Jonghyun, but they didn’t let you go. For a moment you tried to free yourself until you realized they wouldn’t budge easily.

“Is that all you wanted to say? You killed my father and you’re ditching Earth.”

“We’ve done-”

“You’re lying! Angels are supposed to be protectors of humanity! There are all kinds of monsters out there that-”

“You mean like demons?” Onew questioned. “Your so-called family?”

“…”

“Do you even know where demons come from?”

“I-”

“Humans. Human souls to be precise. Those that go down to hell for committing heinous crimes, or give up their soul for a greedy wish. You call those demons family, do you even know what their crime was? Could you handle the truth?”

“They’re different.”

“I doubt that.”

“There are more than demons out there! And you’re just gonna leave humanity-”

“Humans have evolved in fascinating ways.” Key countered. “There are hunters who know of demons and all that, hunting them down and protecting their own. It seems humanity doesn’t need us.”

“That’s not-”

“And why do you care so much about humans?”

“Cause I am one!”

“You’ve lived as one, but you are far from it.”

“Half human, remember.”

“And half angel.” Taemin said. “Don’t you think you have a responsibility to Heaven too?”

“I don’t know this place.”

“But you will.”

“I don’t want to stay here! Isn’t that enough! You should respect my wishes and-”

“But you’re just a child, how can you be trusted to do the right thing?”

“Excuse me? You-”

    Taemin pulled you away from the others, pinning you against a wall. You whimpered from the impact, but quickly put on a brave face.

“You-”

“I’ve waited a long time for you. I’m not letting you go that easily.”

“What-”

    Taemin raised his hand to your head, and then suddenly everything went dark.

♥♥♥♥♥

“So this is the place?”

    Even if over the last few years they had stuck to one place, summer and holiday trips elsewhere were a thing. They made a few stops to find items that could be considered close to you, as well as other necessities, then they arrived at their destination. 

“School?” Sehun questioned. “Why here?”

“She spent a lot of time here.” Xiumin said. “She lived like a normal person here, but the truth caught up to her.”

“Good choice.” Karina started. “Let’s begin.”

    The girls drew their swords, cutting into the ground and making a giant circle, drawing symbols around. Items were placed within the circle and then the ground was ablaze itself. Everyone stood on the outskirts, the items inside the fire going up in flames one by one. Karina continued with the ritual, speaking a tongue none of the demons understood. The fire began to grow, engulfing everything within, only to disperse in a wave, knocking everyone down. As they recovered only smoke filled their vision. Suho stood and drew his wings, clearing away the smoke, and seeing something in the remains of where the fire started.

“Y/n!”

    Suho ran over to you, finding you unconscious. He picked you up in his arms, trying to shake you awake.

“What the hell did you do!”

“She’s never been summoned before.” Winter said. “And she’s only half angel! You should be glad she’s here at all!”

“So why isn’t she waking up!”

“I don’t know!”

“We can’t stay here.” Karina spoke up. “We need to get somewhere safe before the angels find us.”

“Right.”

    Suho picked you up in his arms, staring to count heads to make sure the others were still here and safe. Even if they went to another safe place they knew it was only temporary. You were breathing, but had yet to regain consciousness. So all they could do was wait and hope everything would be alright. Suho suggested they stay with you in shifts, knowing too much time would just drive them crazy. 

“You can’t run forever.”

“I know.”

“Then what are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Start with the truth.”

“About what?”

“Everything.”

“I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“How about with what the angels want her for.”

“She’s a kid.”

“And there’s no more time to let her grow. You know that, Xiumin.”

“I’ll talk to her…”

♥♥♥♥♥

    Everything felt like an instance. One minute everything was white and pearly, and you were surrounded by angels. The next darkness swallowed you, and now you were here, wherever that was. It wasn’t Heaven, it definitely didn’t look like it. As you sat up you noticed someone at your bedside, sleeping, Tao. You gently poked him.

“Tao…”

    It took a second but he slowly woke up, looking around until his eyes landed on you, taking you in.

“Y/n… you’re awake…”

“What-”

    He suddenly hugged you tight, babbling about how everyone has been worried but they’ll be so happy to know you’re awake. He dragged you out of bed, and out of the room, calling for everyone. You weren’t entirely steady on your feet, but Tao was too happy to notice. He quickly got scolded by the hyungs when they saw you. Xiumin and Suho took you back into the room, telling the others to hold on because you still needed rest. Now that you were really awake things started to come back and settle in. You weren’t entirely sure how you felt about everything but you had a burning question.

“You’re not seriously hurt which is good and-” 

“… what did you do…”

“Huh?”

“… you were human once… right…”

“Yes.” Suho confirmed. “But what-”

“How… why… did you go to hell?”

    It got quiet. It was sudden to ask, to them this was so random, but at the same time something they should have expected. At least at some point. They were demons after all, not exactly a good reputation. Although they weren’t sure why the question all of a sudden, but they couldn’t avoid it.

“I don’t know…” Xiumin said. “Actually, I don’t remember.”

“I’m not-”

“Y/n.”

“Yes…”

“I’m hundreds of years old, we all are. Demons don’t tend to remember their human life. So I don’t know what I did. Maybe I made a deal, maybe I hurt people. Even if I did remember I wouldn’t want to tell you but right now isn’t the time for secrets. They took you to heaven didn’t they?”

“Yes…”

“I don’t know what they told you but as we understand they’re making a power move and you-”

“That’s not it.”

“What?“

“They told me they want to close the gates of heaven.”

    This conversation could no longer be just the three of you, the fallen needed to hear about this. Besides, there was something new to yell about.

“You told us heaven was making a power play.” Xiumin said. “Closing their doors is not it.”

“Gosh you’re so dense, it is a power move, just not what we thought.”

“What?”

“Closing the gates of heaven means cutting it off from the rest of the world.”

“So humans won’t be able to go to heaven anymore?” Chanyeol questioned.

“No, it’s more like the exit door is shut.” Karina explained. “Souls can still enter, they just can’t leave. Neither can the angels once the gates close.”

“Again, how is this a power move?” Sehun asked. “Seems like a good idea.”

“Don’t you demons make some deals to resurrect the dead?”

“Yeah. So?”

“If the person you want to resurrect went to heaven, you can forget it. Like I said, the exit door is closed. Once a soul goes to heaven you can’t touch it.”

“What?” Yixing said. “That’s not possible.”

“Oh it is.” Winter confirmed. “You demons are gonna lose out on deals if this goes down. Not just that, witches who channel the power from the dead, that’s gonna take a hit. Psychics won’t be able to speak to loved ones. Heaven will lock out everyone. Closing the gates affects everything in one way or another.”

“And you said even angels won’t be able to leave.” Kyungsoo stated. “So summoning?”

“It won’t work. Divine energy on the planet that allows something like that to happen will fade. Humans will be on their own…”

“What about me?” You suddenly asked. “What happens to me?”

“If you stay on Earth, over time your power, your connection to heaven would fade.” Karina explained. “You’d become human.”

“What about you? Your power was once divine.”

“And it has transformed. I have no connection to heaven so I’ll remain myself.”

“… then… I’ll become human and one day…”

“That’s if you stay on Earth when the gates close.”

“There is another option.” Baekhyun mumbled. 

“What do you mean?”

“You could fall…”

“I could…”

“That is an option.” Karina said. “If you want.”

“How does that even… work for me?”

“You’re still a divine being who can fall from heaven’s grace.”

“So then I become human… or I fall…”

“If the angels don’t drag you back to heaven.”

“Y/n.” Xiumin spoke up. “As much as I want to say things, this decision is ultimately yours.”

“I know… and I know what I want.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah… I choose my family.”

[beomcoups]

Unrequited Love II

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Chanyeol (EXO) x reader

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst, implied smut, best friends au

𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: R (18+)

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: mentions of sex but nothing happens, swearing, 

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 1.4k

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Chanyeol is in love with his best friend but he has been stuck in the shadows as he watches her go through heartbreak after heartbreak. Will today be the day he finally tells her how he feels?

AN: Thank you @yeoldontknow for looking over this for me ❤️

 Y/N POV

It has been two months since you’ve seen Chanyeol Park. The last time you saw him, you were walking in the park, talking about lord knows what; or really, you just blabbered away as he listened. He was always a good listener and told you what you needed to hear, even if you were in the wrong. That day he had something to say to you, but you had to go see Sehun, and so you promised that you would call him later on that night. He looked kind of sad, and you know you should have pressed more from him, but you bit your tongue, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. You realize that was a mistake.

You make it to the café, and Sehun is already there, waiting for you with a cup of your favorite cappuccino and a small Danish on the table.

 “You’re late,” Sehun says shortly, getting up from his table and giving you a short kiss on the forehead.

 Your heart skips a few beats, and your breathing gets slightly short, and you quickly take your seat, taking a small bite out of the Danish.

 “I was with Chanyeol in the park,” you began. “You know that. Plus, it’s not like we had a pre-existing date; you called me out of the blue.”

 “Chanyeol,” Sehun says bitterly. “Why do you still keep up with him? You know I don’t like it when you hang out with him.”

 You scoff and roll your eyes, shaking your head as you take a small sip of your cappuccino.

 “I don’t know why you are so threatened,” you huff. “You guys have a lot in common, and you would see that if you came around us—.”

  “Why would I want to be with somebody that is in love with my girlfriend?” Sehun snaps, raising his voice.

 Sehun’s face is red, and his eyes are fiery from anger. The people in the café look at you two and start whispering, and you get embarrassed. You ball your fists together until your skin turns white, trying to suppress your emotions.

 “He’s not in love with me. Why would you say that?” you whisper harshly.

 “I see the way he looks at you, like a lost puppy,” Sehun argues. “You spend all your time with him, and he knows things about you not even I know about. I am supposed to be your boyfriend, right? So you should be confiding in me.”

 “What? I do confide in you, or I try to. You are never fucking around!” You swear, getting up from the table.

 You grab your things and walk outside, the cool air softly touching your face, and you take a deep breath. Your eyes are misty from tears you were holding back from my fight. Then, you feel a sharp pull on your arm, and you turn around, facing Sehun.

 “Really Y/N?!” Sehun shouts. “You are just going to leave and embarrass me like that?”

 “Embarrass?” You laugh in disbelief. “You yelled at me first!” 

 Your eyes dart over to his neck, and you notice several bruises trailed down to his collarbone. His shirt covered it well when we were inside the shop, so you didn’t see it. You grab his shirt and pull it back so you can get a better look, and your blood runs cold. Your stomach cramps from the anger and hurt building inside of you, and you roughly push it back, spitting on the ground.

 “Do I need to know where the fuck those came from?!” You scream at him.

 Sehun adjusts his shirt and runs his fingers through his hair, clearing his throat.

 “Come on, you’re smart. Figure it out,” he says nonchalantly.

 You nod slowly, processing what is in front of you, and start to walk away, tears flowing down your cheeks. You pause and turn around, your eyes piercing his soul as you want him to really understand what you were about to say to him.

 “Fuck you, Sehun,” you say darkly. “I hope and pray that you feel everything you have done to me in the years we have been together tenfold, and then after that, you can get hit by a fucking truck.”

 Sehun shouts more profanities at you, and you walk away, wanting to get away from him as far as you can. You wipe the tears off your face and try to keep your composure, but the pain still feels the same. You know Sehun is no good for you. It was evident that the first time he cheated on you, you should have left and never returned.

 But he reminded you of your dad, and you have not seen him since he walked out on you and your mom ten years ago. He was sweet, listened to your every word, was at every event you had until that point, and gave the best advice, but he was cruel with your mom. He would say horrible things to her, and you remember hearing her cry in the bathroom some nights. Her weeping flowed through the halls a lot, eventually reaching your room. There were countless times that you had to pick her up from the floor and carry her to bed, her heartbroken over whatever your father said or did that night. You have seen those similarities in Sehun, the good and bad, so you stuck around. You were just accepting the love you thought you deserved.

 “I need to call Chanyeol,” you sniffled, pulling out your phone to call him.

 Chanyeol came into your life when you were ten and knew what your situation was at home. He would always listen to you when you needed to cry, or he would bring you candy just because he had some extra and wanted to share. He gets your jokes and always tells you the truth, and you could really rely on him. When he got his first car, he made sure that you made it to school every day, and he would take you home. You had a mild crush on him at one point, but you were afraid of messing up your friendship, so you never said anything. 

 You dated Sehun, trying to keep him off your mind in that way. Whenever you were both single, you would occasionally hook up with him, and in the back of your mind, it was something you looked forward to. Chanyeol knew your body well, and sometimes when you would be with Sehun, you would wish you were with him. You never told him this, though, as you were too embarrassed to have him know that.

 You call Chanyeol, and the call goes straight to voicemail. You shrug it off as he was busy, and he would call you back later. But, hours turn into days, and you still haven’t heard from him. Your calls keep going to voicemails, and after a week, you go to his mom’s house looking for him.

 “I’m sorry Y/N, he didn’t tell you? He took a job in another state and left a few days ago.”

 You stare at her for a moment, not sure if what you heard was correct. 

 “H-he left?” You stammer. 

 “Yes, honey,” his mom discloses. “I thought he would have called you.”

 So did I, you thought to yourself. 

  You thank her and go sit in your car in disbelief, not understanding why he would just up and leave without saying goodbye. It’s out of character for him, so you check his social media and see it has not been updated in a week. This goes on for days and weeks, and eventually, you stop checking. You have to live with the fact that Chanyeol just up and left without saying goodbye. He did the same thing your dad did years ago, and he promised you that he would never do that…

 You fucking need him. You need to see his soft big brown eyes and his goofy grin. You need to hear his voice saying that everything is going to be okay. You need to lay on his chest and listen to his heartbeat as he hums softly playing his guitar. You need him to run his fingers through your hair and to kiss your forehead. You need his wisdom; his presence alone brings me peace.

 It’s at this moment you realize that you are in love with him.

[quokkacore]

son of wolves - masterlist

summary: your entire life, you've fought bravely to defend the walls of your home from the evil forest spirits of the spearwood trying to destroy it, alongside your family, friends, and your betrothed, baekhyun. until you're infected by the evil that resides in one of these spirits, and you run away from home, before it can spread to those around you. it's in your exile, wandering through the spearwood that you meet the wolf prince, a tall man of hardened eyes, few words, and a fiery temperament, raised by these spirits you've so grown to resent. it's here that you begin to question everything you've ever known, and wonder whether the evil was out here, in the forest, or inside the walls of a place you once called home.

chapter one: the bite

chapter two: the kiss

chapter three: the return

chapter four: the battle

pairings: hunter!baekhyun x reader, wolfprince!chanyeol x reader

genre: reverse princessmononoke!au, angst, fluff, slow burn, enemies to lovers, fantasy epic, war au, wolf!au (kind of?)

a/n: warnings will be posted individually for each chapter. check my updates page to see when each chapter is posted. this was originally meant to be a two part fic meant for the 2020 exo-l secret santa event, but due to time constraints and other things going on in my life, it will be spread into three, with the first chapter tagged as the gift, as per the gift requirements given by the admins of the event. if you would like to be tagged in the other chapters, pls let me know! 

[defloey]

can you talk about some of your favorite chanyeol little things? he's my person too and i'm having a weird time missing him :'')))

ah hello!! ❤ i've noticed a lot of yeolmae's missing him more than usual lately so you're not alone!!

i could talk about this man all day though.. hm, where to start?

to quote @cxsmicmyeon, "he is the literal sunshine" he is the physical embodiment of a happy virus and just the thought of him brightens my mood. his smile?? so beautiful and his laugh?? so contagious.

his tongue in teeth smile is always my favourite, i will never ever stop talking about it lol

(^credit to @iyeolie, it never shows in my gif searches 😫)

the sparkle in his eyes

just other physical attributes; his ears of course lol they're so endearing. the way they move back when he smiles 🥺 his dimple. his tattoos!! his beefy arms, wide shoulders and big hands 🤤 his entire giant self lol he is undeniably handsome and physically perfect (to me anyways)

but he has such a big heart too and is such a gentle giant. his love for animals 🥺

even toben 😂 (also those arms 👀)

also that time at exordium when there was a walking dog toy on stage will forever remain one of my favourites

the way he loves and cares for everyone. that clip of him making sure jongin is okay during their don't go performance. the vcr he made for the members at the end of exploration. and you can see the obvious love, adoration and appreciation he has for fans.

his fiery passion towards everything he does! he is truly a multi talented person. instruments, music, new skills, hobbies.. everything.

his deep voice. we all know how good he sounds when he raps but i also really love his singing voice. and his talking voice is also super calming for me. this is one of my favourites among the many gems on his soundcloud

omgosh his goofiness lol. and the way he gets scared so easily 😂

okay these are just some things i can think of off the top of my head and i could expand on each point lol but i think i'm getting a little carried away. there are probably another billion little anecdotes i can think of 😅

[suphoshi]

THE SUN, THE MOON, THE STARS | Byun Baekhyun x reader

PART I | PART II

Genre: Best friends to lovers AU, angst, some fluff, v v small amount of smut (i mean nearly non-existent, but def there)

Warnings: Horrible coping mechanisms (lots of drinking ((small mention of underage drinking)), making out/sex with strangers), possible trigger for depression, assault

Baekhyun holds the sun, the moon, and the stars in his eyes. How could he ever expect you not to love him?

-

PART I

Word Count: 8,439

Did you know the closest star to Earth is the sun?

94.376 million miles apart. That’s equivalent to traveling the circumference of the earth 3,790 times, travelling from one side of Asia to the other 78,646 times, running the Boston marathon 3,629,846 times.

The closest star to the Earth is the sun, a sad lonely world with its closest friend lightyears away, but not for you. You need only open your eyes at 12:04am on a Saturday night at age fourteen and it’s right there, hovering above you, a blazing fire of magnificence that breathes every bit of light there is into your soul. The dimples in his cheeks filled with the fiery chasms that brighten the earth, eyes sparkling with billions of galaxies.

“Let’s run away.” He would whisper after kicking his shoes off, flopping onto the other side of the bed. His voice smooth like the honey you used to mix into tea when you were sick (he healed you just the same), filling your arms with goosebumps, longing to hear more. He’d turn to face you and every time, even in the darkness of your room, you could see it.

Starlight found you in Baekhyun’s eyes.

“Corona Borealis…” you whispered nonchalantly, and his eyebrows scrunched up in that cute way they always did when he was confused. “The Northern Crown.”

A smile fixed itself onto your cheeks, but he was already launching into a story about his mom yelling at him for his grades, accustomed to the random thoughts that you spurted out with no regards to its relevance. You hardly listened. Seven beautiful stars that showed the crown in his eyes. If only you could stare at them through a telescope, dissect their structure, find your way into their stories, and make a home for yourself. Would he ever have room for you?

He stared at the ceiling while he spoke, constellations flowing from his lips in a way that lit up the whole room, your eyes transfixed on him and only him, each glimmer of light more beautiful than the next. He never noticed that you weren’t listening, never attempted to shake you back to reality. That was the magic of his existence, how rare he was. Someone who was just pleased with your company, never expecting more than your presence.

You met him when you were eight, back when stars only existed in the sky. Your days before him were filled with silence, eyes fixed on the ground, no one paying attention to the rich girl who seemed to think she was better than everyone. It wasn’t true, but who were you to change their minds? You never cared what people thought, never wanted to befriend anyone, or show them you were different. Well- not until you found yourself face first in a sandbox, a group of girls shoving you down, pulling your hair - “you think you’re better than us, huh?”. It was only then that you wished for a friend. Wished you had someone who cared enough to help. Someone who loved you enough to worry.

Tears rolled down your sand coated cheeks, bile in your throat, fear in your belly. You wanted to disappear.

“Get off her!”

Baekhyun’s voice was still shrill then, shoving the girls off one at a time until they all ran away, a beacon of hope you never saw coming. He dusted off your shoulders, patted your back while you sputtered and coughed, let you cry until your fathers’ voice rang in your mind like a shrill alarm. ‘An heiress never cries’. The words echoed through you over and over until you found the strength to pull your knees up to your chest and lower your head, forever trying to make yourself smaller, hiding from the world.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He spoke softly, stroking your hair. Chills ran down your spine. No one had ever touched you like that, with such sincerity. Not even your parents. You found the courage to look up at him and found yourself breathless once again but for a different reason.

His eyes.

He wiped your cheeks with gentle fingers, dusted more sand off your forehead, but you couldn’t look away from his eyes. “It’s okay, they’re gone now.” His gentle voice soothing the wrinkles in your forehead.

“Aquarius.” You mumbled and he tilted his head to the side.

“My mom told me I’m a Capricorn I think.” He replied, but you shook your head.

“The water bearer. It’s a constellation.” His eyebrows scrunched together, and a smile found your cheeks. When he returned it, your felt butterflies in your stomach.

You had never seen stars in anyone else, not before him and not after. You spent your entire childhood by his side, clinging to him despite all of life’s obstacles, like the time he broke his wrist while riding his bike down a hill; or, when he got into a fight in middle school and you got yourself suspended for punching the other guy in the face (you didn’t even know why they were fighting). He was your favorite lifeline, the only friend you ever wanted… The only love you ever needed.

You always wondered if he would ever see you like that. If he would see you at all. The way he smiled at you was not the way you smiled at him. Did he get chills when his hand brushed against yours while walking down the hall? Did he fall asleep with a smile on his face at just the memory of you laughing, matching the dopey one you fell asleep with when you thought of him? As the years went on, he constantly drilled the notion into your head that you were just friends. You would only ever be friends.

“You need to go out with someone other than me, people think we’re dating. You don’t have any other friends.”

It was your seventeenth birthday. He woke you up with a strawberry cupcake and his sunshine smile. You could not have asked for anything more. Minus the talk of going to your first party without him, of course. It made your stomach churn with anxiety. It was your birthday, why should you spend it with anyone other than him?

He was all you would ever want, never asking for more than a lifetime of studying his eyes and hearing him laugh, but he obviously had different ideas.

“I’m not always going to be here, you know.”

His words caused a panic to rise in your chest, head snapping to face him so quickly that it took you several minutes to adjust to his frame. He only met your gaze for a few moments before letting his eyes trail down to his twiddling fingers.

“Why wouldn’t you always be here?” You asked incredulously and he laughed.

“That’s how life works. We’ll be friends through high school, maybe some college, but then we’ll meet people we really like. You’ll get married; I’ll get married. We’ll have kids. Then we’ll just be an old memory. Pictures in scrap books. You know?”

You shook your head ‘no’ immediately, afraid to speak for fear that you would scream at him. How could he be so stupid? So blind? Of course, you knew he would find someone since you weren’t the one he wanted, but how could he think that you would ever love anyone but him? How could he ever imagine a life where you weren’t there when you couldn’t even think about it without tears filling your eyes?

He smiled as you shook your head and reached his hand out, smoothing down the side of your hair. You leaned into his touch and watched him sigh, eyes glimmering, heart racing. He let you sit like that for probably too long, the love in your chest swelling with each second. He let you look into his galaxies, chest beating so erratically that you feared he would hear it.

Sagitta. It was right there. Five stars that made up an arrow, aimed right at you. Only you. It made your lip tremble. Tear filled eyes, pin cushion heart.

When he pulled his hand back, it was replaced with cold regret, but at least you were used to it. He cleared his throat and laid back on the bed beside you, staring up at the ceiling. As if he didn’t just rip your heart in half. You wished you could be so nonchalant with someone’s feelings.

“It’s normal to go to a party on your birthday. I think you should go. Chanyeol will be there, so you’ll have someone to talk to.”

Your lip jutted out in annoyance, dread filling your senses as your gaze dropped to the floor. You’d spent every birthday for nine years with Baekhyun, but now he wanted you to do it alone. It was frustrating, having an ever-constant that suddenly didn’t want to be that constant. He sat back up and hooked a finger under your chin, tilting your head back up to face him. His sweet smile. Sun kissed skin. Messy hair.

“Please?”

He ruined you.

Hours later, you found yourself in a too crowded house with too loud music, on edge the second you walked in the door. Your chest ached with anxiousness, nerves on fire. You wanted to break down, shrink into the size of an ant and sneak out, but you couldn’t leave, not when you had just arrived. You could only imagine Baekhyun’s disappointment if you bailed so early, so you had to try.

Chanyeol was dancing with some girl across the room, no attention paid to the birthday girl who sat unattended. Lonely. You scratched the back of your neck, annoyance dripping off you in waves. You wished Baekhyun was there.

Someone shoved a red cup into your hand and told you to drink. It looked like tea, smelled like metal. You looked up at the girl in front of you and she smiled.

“It’ll make it a little better” That look, as if she knew your thoughts better than you did. It took you twenty minutes to drink the entire thing, rusty and lukewarm, bile lurching up your throat with nearly each sip. Took you twenty more to build up the courage to ask for another.

After three cups you could smile even though you were scared. After five, you were on a table, dancing to music you didn’t know the words to, forgetting the reality of your life. It felt like no one could touch you, no one could hurt you. Your father’s sternness didn’t exist up in the clouds of that night. The cold your mother put off couldn’t touch you when you danced on the mountain tops. Baekhyun held you too tight, too long, loved you too hard there. Sometimes you still chase that feeling.

The party died down a few hours later, people pouring out the front door and finding rides home or walking. You texted Baekhyun to come pick you up and laid back in the front yard alone, though it didn’t really feel that way. The grass around you was wet, fingers winding around the blades as you stared at the sky. Shooting stars, silky clouds pressed against the backdrop of a black night. You loved it. The way it looked so close, like you could hold it. Taste it. Heaven felt like it could be real, fingertips away, and you stretched your hand out to touch it. Stars dripped down your arms, the moon painted your skin. You wanted to climb up and be with them so much, find yourself a home amongst them.

It wasn’t much later that Baekhyun laid down beside you, your head instinctively turning towards him, a magnet you could never resist.

“What kind of stars do you see tonight?”

You had no answer because the stars in the sky didn’t matter anymore. As quickly as your love built for them, it completely extinguished when he was there. Instead, it was the stars in his eyes that you wanted to discover. He turned to you after your silence stretched too long and you smiled.

“Coma Berenices. Berenice’s Hair.”

He smiled back and the butterflies that fluttered in your stomach when you were little returned in full force, for the thousandth time since you had met him. It had been years since that first day. Years since you fell in love with him. But Baekhyun was Baekhyun, a clueless boy who hauled your drunk body off the ground and into his car, ignoring the way you kissed his cheek when he lifted you into his arms. Ignoring how you made him hold your hand the entire way home and fiddled with his fingers because he had the nicest hands. Ignored the tears in your eyes when he refused to stay after he helped you into bed.

“Happy birthday.” he whispered against your cheek while you held onto his shirt, begged him to stay one more time. He smiled and pulled your hands away before climbing out of your window.

It was a never-ending cycle that you decided you were okay with because at least he was there. At least you got to see his constellations. Even though you felt cold at night without his hand in yours, without his smile. You could handle anything, as long as he never left.

-

Age twenty-four came to you like the encore of your favorite play, sprawled out in the grass while you looked up at the stars and wished to live among them. You couldn’t really recall those childish days anymore, the times when Baekhyun treated you gently, held your feelings with sweetness, sincerity. You just remembered the way it made you feel.

Life had changed for him. His heart changed. He grew cold, severe. Sternness sprouted in his voice when you wanted to spend time with him, shutting down your feelings without an ounce of compassion. All too harsh and direct, making his point entirely too clear. You didn’t know what inside of him snapped, but he stopped knocking on your bedroom window. He stopped sneaking in with strawberry cupcakes on your birthday. He stopped answering your calls at 2am when you were scared and couldn’t sleep. It was like the world started rotating in reverse. One day he was hugging you tight while you cried over a failed exam, and the next he was avoiding your texts. Declining your calls.

You still clung to him, refused to leave his side regardless of his feelings because you had to see him. You had to hear his laugh. How could you live without the only sun you ever loved? You met him after class, followed him down the hall and made him speak to you. Showed up at his house. Helped him study. That was as close as he let you stay anymore. Rarely did he call you first, even more rare did he come out when you asked him to, but still. It was enough. It had to be. For years you played that game. Tiptoed on his boundaries in silence, praying he would let you stay with him forever.

You sighed at the racing thoughts and closed your eyes, tried to remember the last time he let you see the galaxies inside of him. Time had been so rough with Baekhyun and it was frustrating to know that he held milky way’s so close for you to discover, but never let you glance at them anymore.

Footsteps neared your head and you looked up, eyes meeting the annoyed face you had been thinking about. He wasn’t smiling. Wasn’t happy at all. So why did he look so pretty? Why was your heart beating so fast, like it meant anything that he was there? It’s not like he came to your rescue every time you called because he liked you. He was just a good friend.

“How am I ever gonna have a chance with Yuna if you keep calling me away from every date I have with her?”

Hearing her name had your eyes rolling without thought, the whiskey that settled in your stomach churning uncomfortably. Yuna was Baekhyun’s latest muse. She helped him produce a song once and he was head over heels. Took her on dates, called her late at night. It made you sick. Like you weren’t ever there for him. Like you weren’t even an option. You could help him work on songs, help him write lyrics. You’d done it before when you were kids, before he acted like you were nothing.

He crouched down above your head and you quickly took note that Baekhyun looked so small in a beanie. As if you hadn’t noticed that before, marked in your mile-long list of things that you loved about him. His ears poked out, like the point of a hat like that wasn’t to tuck your ears in and keep them warm. His glasses perched on his nose. You smiled a little, content to see him, even if he was angry. Even if he didn’t want to be there (didn’t want you).

He rolled his eyes and let out a deep sigh, moving to stand in front of you. He held his hands out and you grabbed them, letting him haul you off the ground. The world spun and his hands were on your hips for just a few seconds to steady you before he pulled them away.

Shivers ran down your spine, eyes darting to meet his. Your bones ached at the sweetness he still held in them, whether it was for you or not. Eyebrows raised in concern, your hands resting on his chest.

“Stop drinking all of the time if you can’t even get a taxi to take you home.” He grumbled, pulling your dress down and dusting grass off your back. His voice rang through your ears dripping with the honey that healed you, and every part of you felt so warm with him just inches away. Like you were coming home for the first time in years.

“Baek,” you vied for his attention, fingers gripping his shirt lightly. He looked at you with those anger filled eyes and you smiled. “like me instead.”

He looked a little confused, head tipping just a little to the left and you immediately felt the fall. The fall you had been falling since you were eight years old and found your first friend. The fall you fell when you woke up on your seventeenth birthday, not to your parents, but to the sweetest eyes of the sweetest boy on earth. The fall you would be falling forever because he was your star. Your galaxy.

Your chest felt heavy. Heart racing. Short breaths coming out like choppy waves while you stared into his eyes and swallowed down your fear.

Aquila. Ten stars that made up an eagle, the eagle that bore Zeus’ lightning bolts. It was the push of courage and strength you needed.

“Love me instead.” You continued and the glimmer in his eyes – the shooting stars you watched form behind them, it was enough to have you leaning forward and pressing your lips against his.

Whiskey. Whiskey was your favorite. You’d never felt it before, but whiskey ran through your veins like lava and pushed you up up up on your tippy toes, your chest melting into his like a puzzle piece. His eyes widened in surprise while your hands wrapped around the base of his neck. You felt your heartbeat in your ears, felt the butterflies in your throat crawling out with happiness, begging to be set free. For the first time in years, it felt possible. Like you could explode with all the excitement you had been building up over time.

His soft lips spread slightly, and the taste of cinnamon escaped. You breathed it in, let some of those butterflies sneak into the world before you pressed your lips into his again. Everything was perfect for those few seconds, your body against his, your dreams finally coming true as you could see the constellations inside of him and actually understand why they were there. It was what you always wanted.

When his hands slid up to your shoulders, you leaned into him a little more, naively thinking he was pulling you closer. As if he felt the same way you did.

He pushed you away instead.

You stumbled back; eyes wide open to see him. The smile faded from your cheeks, the hollow emptiness settling in your soul where your happiness had previously resided. His lips were a little red from your lipstick and his eyes were even more confused. Angry. His cheeks looked pale, fixing his glasses back and staring at you incredulously.

“What are you doing?” He barked out and you stared at him, not sure what to say. You were embarrassed, sure, but when he wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand, you were shattered.

The butterflies in your throat screamed in pain, dried and cracking wings, sliding back down to your stomach where they belonged.

Baekhyun sighed and rubbed his face with his hands before taking a deep breath.

You felt tears fill your eyes when his hardened gaze found you again, shame eating you alive as he stepped forward and grabbed your wrist. His touch wasn’t gentle. Wasn’t loving. It wasn’t what you wanted at all.

“You’re drunk, let’s go home.” He said turning, but you ripped away from him, devastation reaching its peak. He looked at you and you wanted to collapse. Wanted to turn into a black hole that sucked everything too close right up and destroyed it with you. Sobering tears ran down your cheeks and with each second that passed, your anger grew.

“Why don’t you love me?” You started, ignoring the growing nervousness in his face. “Yuna is pretty and nice, but why not me? I’ve taken care of you since we were kids- I’ve loved you since we were kids. Doesn’t that matter?”

He looked scared. A crack in the façade of his usual indifference, a heart-breaking apologetic look that he only allowed you a second to see before his usual mask of annoyance returned. You could have screamed. Why wasn’t he being honest with you? Why was he hiding his feelings, covering them up and putting on a show, as if you didn’t know him better than anyone?

“You sound silly right now ____, you drank too much.” He said sighing, a hand coming up to rub his cheek, as if this was the most unsettling thing to ever happen to him.

You stared at him and thought about how it would have felt if he had just kissed you back. If he had lifted you off the ground, let you into his little world, showed you his map of stars and explained every single one of their stories. It was a dream.

Resentment settled inside your bones. Frustration. Betrayal. You nodded your head and grabbed your jacket off the ground, turning to walk away.

“Wait-” He gripped your elbow and you seethed at his touch, snatching away from him unabashedly.

“It’s not silly,” you cried out, tears filling you up and pouring down the sides of your face. He stayed quiet; eyes unsure how to process your emotions any more than you could. “But don’t worry.” You wiped at your cheeks harshly, ridding yourself of the useless tears that you cried over a boy who would never reciprocate your feelings. “I won’t come between you and Yuna anymore. I won’t bother you at all. I’m sorry I bothered you so much.”

You walked away from him and he didn’t come after you. He didn’t call your name. Didn’t hold your hand the rest of the day like he did when you were eight and felt scared and alone after a bunch of girls ganged up on you. You felt so alone walking home. And you couldn’t see the stars anymore.

You didn’t really care to look up and see them ever again.

-

Baekhyun didn’t call at all in the following days. You’d heard from Chanyeol that he and Yuna had made it official and you cried, hot tears that stung so ugly down your cheeks. It made you feel so stupid. How could you have clung to someone who cared so little about you for so long? The thought alone was devastating, but you knew it was only a partial truth. Baekhyun was your friend. He cared about you, and you knew that, but you could only handle friendship for so long. He could not have been that blind.

You laid in bed and thought over and over where you went wrong. Sure, you kissed him. You did, but was it really such a bad thing? He had to know how you felt. You never dated other guys. Called him when you were alone or sad. Made him dinner. Watched movies with him. You only ever wanted him. Was it that big of a shock?

His mother was the one who called you later that week to let you know about his enlistment. It shook you to the core, dissolved the foundation you had built to keep yourself grounded. Keep you safe. You waited for a call and text. A fucking email.

His mother called one more time, on the day he was scheduled to leave.

‘Please come say goodbye. You know he’ll miss you.’

You laid in silence for hours, staring at the ceiling, senseless tears rolling down the sides of your face. Should you stay? Should you go? The questioning mind you hated so much would not shut off no matter how much you begged for darkness to take over, and it all led you back to one thought: What if you never got to see him again?

You sprinted from the bus stop like your life depended on it, checking the time on your phone continually, as if a bomb would go off if you were late. There were people everywhere, wishing their loved one’s farewell, ignoring the frenzy you were in as you shoved through the crowd desperately. His mother had sent you a text with a vague location, but your mind was in shambles, no coherent thoughts, just absolute panic. You had to see him. You had to say goodbye.

When you spotted him, your blood froze over. You forgot how to breathe. Everything around you went silent. Your heart no longer raced. He smiled and looked at the people around him, spoke words you couldn’t hear, but knew they were making everyone laugh. He was always making everyone laugh. You stood away and watched, unsure of how to face him. How to look into his eyes when he was mad at you, just like you were mad at him. You had never been mad at him like that.

You watched him kiss Yuna on the cheek and almost walked away but felt cemented to the ground. He hugged his mom for a long time, let her pat his back and hold him for far longer than he was used to. When he pulled back, he was nodding at her, wiping her cheeks, an ever-diligent son who loved his mom more than anything. The light in his eyes when he looked at her; it was on that same long list of things you loved him for. Butterfly wings mending, you felt them flutter again in your stomach for the first time in a week.

They all waved at him as he walked away, time catching up too quickly. He walked towards you through the crowd, leaving everyone else and it felt like a movie. The crowd closed behind him as he walked closer, life moving in double time as you contemplated how to speak, how to think. How to tell him he had to come back because your heart was his.

It was at the exact moment that your instinct to run kicked in that he stopped in front of you. Six feet away, backpack slung over his shoulder, hat fixed on his head. You couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t stand the sight of his eyes, so inquisitive, so accusing. Like you didn’t belong there. You didn’t smile. Didn’t move. When he stepped forward, you let out a shuddering sigh. He shifted uncomfortably, hands in his pockets while you twisted your fingers so tight that your skin turned red. Flashbacks flew past your eyes, your hands on his neck, the taste of cinnamon.

You shook away the thoughts and took a deep breath.

“I just came to say goodbye.” You said dimly and he nodded, turning his gaze away, as if he couldn’t stand the sight of you. It broke your heart. Made you want to melt into the ground and disappear entirely. Instead, you built up every ounce of courage you had left and swallowed down the tears that begged to escape.

You blinked once. Twice. The sight of his face growing more and more blurry with the sadness you tried and failed to dry out. You cleared your throat and raised your hand into the air, gaze dropping to his shirt as you no longer had the courage to see his resentment anymore.

“Bye… Baekhyun.” You whispered, and his head turned towards you.

You looked up to meet his eyes once more and watched him soften. Watched him crumple from head to toe in the same way you did, like a curtain falling to reveal the show behind it. It took everything you had not to break. Not to collapse on the ground and beg him to run away with you, beg him to stay. His eyes searched your face for far too long before he swallowed hard, nodding a few times.

When he walked away, brushing past you without a word, your arms moved involuntarily, wrapping around his waist without fear or contempt. Your fingers gripped into his shirt too tight, clinging to him as if he would disappear if you let go. As if it were the last time you would ever see him.

He froze. Breathing uneven. Unsure. You sobbed into his shirt and he let you. He let you hold him and cry, and you were so grateful. So happy you could hold him one more time.

“Please be safe.” You whispered, voice thick with sadness.

He didn’t move. Didn’t shove you back. Didn’t force you to let go or reject your heart. Just let you hold him like that, let you sob freely despite everything that had happened.

He was your home. Your safety. Your anchor to reality. You had always felt that way, but he didn’t reciprocate those feelings anymore. Never letting you get too close, too comfortable.

After some time passed, he turned and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. You only cried harder. The smell of his cologne, the skin of his neck, the feel of his fingers pressed into your back. You took the time to memorize it all, the sinking realization that it would be the longest amount of time you would have ever spent without him hitting you like a truck.

You felt his lips press against the top of your head and gripped his shirt even tighter, too scared to accept the finality of his goodbye. But just like that, his hands were wrapping around your arms, peeling you off like Velcro. He didn’t speak. Didn’t linger. Just walked away without so much as a glance back.

You felt the tug on your heart so severely that it took your breath away, tethered to a boy who left you alone and in pieces on the sidewalk. A boy who would never want you the way you wanted him.

You squatted down on the cool pavement; palm pressed to your chest until your heart settled enough for you to take a deep breath. Then came the crash. You disintegrated in that crowd of people, muscles alone pulling you up off the ground and walking you back towards the bus stop. Empty eyes cried the entire way home, and it was instinct alone that got you there. Common sense. If it were up to your heart, you’d probably still be sitting on that sidewalk waiting for him to come back and hug you again.

-

Baekhyun leaving hurt bad enough. What hurt worse were the weeks that passed by without a phone call. Without a letter. Your friends talked about the letters and texts they received like it was nothing, they got one every week, some of them twice a week. It never bothered you before, having the same friends as him, but it did then. It made you realize how alone you actually were without him.

Months passed by in an instant and you woke up every day thinking that it would get easier. That you would be able to get out of bed without feeling so hollow. So empty. That the ache in your chest would have to fade eventually, but it didn’t. Instead, each day that passed widened the hole in your heart.

You were sat in a restaurant, finger sliding through the condensation on your glass of beer while your friends talked about some story Baekhyun had wrote them about that week, and it set your chest on fire. Had your heart racing with betrayal. Your annoyance reached it’s threshold and you didn’t even feel the anger-filled tears coming to try to stop them.

“Why isn’t he writing me?” You asked thoughtlessly, tears trailing down your face. You half expected them not to hear you, and if they did, you expected them to ignore you. It didn’t work out either way you had imagined. They all stopped to look at you, eyes soft and concerned, full of pity, like you were some kind of fragile doll. It made you feel sick. Sehun opened his mouth to speak and you just as quickly cut him off.

“Forget it.” You said with rough hands wiping the tears from your cheeks. You couldn’t bear hearing the cover ups. The explanations. The apologies. You couldn’t even bear their sympathetic glances. You downed the rest of your beer, threw money on the table, and walked out without another word. It was the most you could manage.

Nothing felt good anymore. Nothing made you smile at things the way he did. Nothing made you laugh like he did. Nothing filled you up at all, made you feel complete. It was more than frustrating – it was crippling. How could he consume so much of your life and expect you not to fall in love with him? How could you not love him? He was Baekhyun. His eyes held the entire galaxy. How couldn’t you fall in love?

Time was not kind, not for you. You found yourself in bars kissing other men, pretending it was him that you were pressed against. His hands on your waist, his lips on yours. You acted like you could get butterflies in your stomach for anyone other than him. On good nights, you could almost hear his soft laughter in your ear, cinnamon breath, and gentle hands. On bad nights, you tangled your hands in their hair, dug your nails into their shoulder, let them wrap their hand around your throat, bite your lip, rip your stockings.

Both ways never felt right.

He came home to visit after four months, and you tried to be surprised that he didn’t call. Feigned shock when he didn’t come to find you, locked away in your apartment with both fear and wishful thinking. In all honesty though, you expected it. You felt his goodbye the last time you saw him and knew then that he wouldn’t come to find you. He wouldn’t ever seek you out again. That fact was devastating at first.

Six months passed though, and it wasn’t as complicated. Wasn’t as damaging.

Eight months passed and you could wake up in the morning without a weight on your chest. Could go to work and come home without seeing him in every street, every building, every face that you took home at night.

Life became easier. Your friends stopped mentioning him every time you got together, stopped bringing up their phone calls and letters. You could go out for drinks and laugh and didn’t feel the need to find company in a strangers’ arms just so you could feel something. Anything.

You could laugh at their stories, eat until your belly was full, talk about work and life and music.

Life became easier.

Until it wasn’t. Until you found yourself in the middle of your favorite restaurant and Yuna walked in.

She sat herself down at the head of the table and talked with everyone like she fit there. As if she was more welcome than you were. They poured her drinks, ordered her food, made sure she felt included while simultaneously pushing you over the edge.

“Baekhyun comes home in a few months you know.” She spoke to everyone, and they all shared their understanding, listening to her with purpose. “Don’t tell him I said anything, but…” You felt Sehun’s eyes combing your face and you downed another shot, eyes fixed on the table.

“I think he’s going to propose.”

You slammed your glass back down and everyone looked towards you for a moment. You didn’t return the glances. Didn’t care to excuse your outburst at all really. It was amazing, how easy that pain settled back in after nearly a year of avoidance. How it crept into the vessels of your heart and calcified your blood into shards of glass that ripped you from the inside out.

They all turned back to her, wishing her well and sharing their excitement for them. You only felt slightly betrayed, emptier than you previously thought possible as the remaining bit of hope you had unknowingly latched onto bled out while you downed one more shot.

You got up without a word, put your money on the table, and ignored their stares as you walked out. Walking home you felt the cold air seeping into your bones and wanted to feel nothing. You wanted your heart to stop beating for someone who would never love you, wanted it to stop beating entirely if you had no other choice. You stopped in another bar and it was only so long before your head felt fuzzy. Before you had your hands on someone’s shoulders, your back pressed up against a wall while their lips moved from your cheek to your neck, to your collar bone.

“Come home with me.” He said, voice rough and deep.

Normally you said no, pushing them away and going home alone, dreaming of the person your heart really wanted.

But he had eyes like Baekhyun’s. He smelled like cinnamon and you weren’t ready to leave him yet.

It was all too fast and too rough, him pressing you into his paper-thin mattress, pulling your hair, biting your lip. It wasn’t the gentle caresses or the soft kisses that Yuna probably got, and that thought alone had you asking for more. And he gave it to you. Hand gripping your cheeks, harsh words whispered into your ear. It was so different from what your heart wanted. So different from what you always dreamed about.

He finished after too long and you immediately got dressed, walking out the door without a word. He didn’t even try to stop you.

-

The following months passed by in a blur. You avoided everyone, spending more time at work and less time thinking, rejecting every phone call, every text. It was better that way. You weren’t someone who people could understand easily. Even the person who was closest to you on earth left you alone, so why would you keep anyone else around? You didn’t need any more loss. Didn’t need any more devastation.

When the empty feeling settled in your chest, you decided you preferred that over pain and loneliness. It was easier to feel nothing at all. On the weekends you drank until you forgot. Drank until Baekhyun’s face wasn’t the only thing you saw when you made out with someone. Until you didn’t smell cinnamon on their lips. Pretended that the stars at night didn’t remind you that once upon a time, you saw constellations in his eyes.

You drank until you half dragged yourself home, stumbling every 10 feet, laughing out loud like you had something to laugh at, when really the only thing listening was the wind brushing past you. It comforted you to know that even if were alone, the wind still caressed your cheeks, told you that it would be okay, even if it really wouldn’t.

You were almost to your apartment when you walked into some restaurant to eat before you slept, tired of the constant hangovers at work as much as your coworkers probably were. The bell above your head rang and you smiled at the sound, eyes half shut as you looked around for a table to sit at.

“____?”

You straightened up at the sound of your name, vision adjusting to the room. Chanyeol. Sehun. The rest of your friends that you had been avoiding for months. They all stared at you like you were some ticking time bomb and you instantly frowned.

Of course, you would pick this restaurant. All you had done for months was dodge their calls, their texts, and there they all were, staring at you with sad eyes that made you want to crack. You could’ve stopped at the one on the corner, or the one that was right beside the bar you were at, but no. You chose that restaurant, of all places.

Everyone’s eyes were fixed on you and you ran a hand through your tousled hair, smoothing out your clothes and smiling a little. No one spoke. No one smiled back. You noticed Yuna at the end of the table and chuckled a little at the thought that maybe they replaced you with her.

The empty seat to her right didn’t register until Baekhyun walked out of the bathroom. He was wearing the hat you got him for his birthday two years before.

He was smiling for a second until he saw you, and it quickly disappeared.

‘How did we get here?’

“____?”

He said your name and you ran. Gone was that empty feeling you were so happy to have. The hurt that surged through your chest was enough to take your breath away. You rubbed at your eyes with dry hands and tried to keep it together. Tried to hold back the sobs that fought their way out of your throat. Tried to claw your way back to that empty feeling you worked so hard for.

“____, wait!”

You ran, begging God to swallow you into the earth, hide you away from the misery that was awaiting. Instead, you tripped on the sidewalk and fell, feeling as pathetic as you probably looked.

He was at your side in seconds.

“Are you okay?” He asked and you slapped his hand away when he offered it for help.

You attempted to pull yourself back up but stumbled again. That time, his hands wrapped around your waist, keeping you upright and pressed against him. The warmth of his sweater, the smell of his cologne. It was all too much.

You shoved him away and stumbled back down the sidewalk towards your apartment. When he started to walk beside you, you stopped and looked at him.

“Leave me alone.” You said and he stared at you for too long. The hurt expression he wore was surely a figment of your imagination, and you laughed at the thought that he might have been hurt by you. As you walked away, you shoved him to the side again, praying he would get the hint and leave you alone.

You could feel him trailing behind you in silence. Could feel his gaze fixed on the back of your head and goosebumps broke out up and down your arms. You hated everything about it. Hated that he could make you feel that way after so long, when you had convinced yourself that you hated him; convinced yourself that you didn’t belong to anyone but you.

You walked up the two flights of stairs in your building and bit your lip, begging him in silence to leave. To go and never come see you again. It was what you wanted, what you needed, but those butterflies you thought you had buried so long before were wiggling out of their graves and swimming up your throat for air. You were miserable.

“____,” His voice saying your name, the voice you had missed so much, it had your head whipping towards him with such severity, you would have thought he would be scared. Instead he looked calm. Worried. You missed his eyes so much. His voice. “Let me inside, you’re bleeding.”

He pointed to your knee and you didn’t bother looking, the sting of an open wound apparent. Instead you stared at him. He was thinner since you last saw him, hair growing longer since he had cut it, tucked under his hat. Sunshine skin, starry eyes. Tall and handsome. Baekhyun.

“Open the door.” He said and you did. Why did you? Why did you not feel angry anymore? Resentment replaced with longing as you pressed the buttons on the keypad. You felt the loneliness seeping through your pores as you kicked off your shoes and tried to hold onto the tiny shreds of strength you had left, but it was hard. Your heart ached for him, and he was right there. And you just wanted him to touch you.

He walked straight to your kitchen and pulled out your first aid kit, somehow unsurprised that he remembered where it was. He fit so perfectly there, like the only place he should have ever been was in your kitchen cleaning you up and making you better. With his back turned to you, he called your name again, going through all the supplies inside of the box. You walked up beside him and watched him pull out gauze, alcohol, a bandage.

It was too quick, him turning and wrapping his arms around your waist, catching you off guard as he picked you up and placed you on the counter in front of him. You gasped at his touch, chest against chest, but it was gone just as quick.

He immediately started his work on cleaning the wound on your knee and the look of concentration on his face made your heart constrict. Tears filled your eyes and you wanted so badly to make him leave. Overwhelming thoughts about how this would end with you crying and him leaving filled you up and the emptiness that hollowed out your bones at just the idea of it made you shiver.

“I heard you’re going to propose.” You said mindlessly and he paused, not looking at you. “To Yuna.” You continued, lip quivering at the sound of her name falling from your own lips. “You’re going to propose to Yuna?”

The last part sounded like an accusation and he didn’t ever look up at you, eyes fixed on your knee, as if all of the words he was supposed to say were written on a script with the blood that dripped out.

It wasn’t fair. He would leave there without you, but your heart would still go with him. After all that time, you felt just as small as you did the day you kissed him. It wasn’t fair.

“I’m happy.” You said, a lie falling from your lips like the tears that fell down your cheeks. He looked up and you wiped them away, missing the deep frown that formed on his features as you sniffled like a child, crying over something that would never be yours.

“Are you?” He asked. You couldn’t reply, eyes blurry with sadness, choked with the lump in your throat. He pressed a band-aid onto your knee and stood up, eyes fixed back onto yours. It was too quiet. Too real.

You looked at him for a long time. Memorized the things you hadn’t seen in so long. His puffy cheeks. The freckle under his eye. The way his eyebrow twitched sometimes when he was upset, nose scrunching slightly before he fixed his expression to what he wanted you to see, pulling back that same curtain he’d been keeping up in front of you since high school. It left you in pieces.

Your eyebrows scrunched together as you looked at him and you wanted to wrap yourself around him and never let go. But you didn’t. You stared at him on that kitchen counter and cried out the words your heart forced you to say.

“I’m happy if you’re happy.” You said, a partial truth. The tears wouldn’t stop falling and he didn’t say anything, just watched you cry in silence. When he reached his hand up, fingers brushing across your cheek and resting on your neck while his thumb brushed the tears away, you let out another sob and restrained yourself from clinging to him. Begging him to stay. You leaned into his touch and for a second, he looked almost as devastated as you.

“I just want you to be happy.” You said softly.

He was quiet like that for a few minutes, hand lingering on your cheek before pulling it away.

The room felt twenty degrees cooler without his skin pressed to yours and that only made you cry harder.

“I’m sorry.” He said too gently. Too sincerely.

And then he was gone.

You sobbed into your hands for a long time before you calmed down enough to hop off the counter. You walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower, peeling your clothes off in your too silent apartment that felt too empty. You sat on the shower floor, hot water slapping you, and promised not to let him in again. Promised that this only happened because you were drunk - everything bad happens when you’re drunk. The alcohol made you lonely, you were truly just fine. Being alone was something you were growing accustomed to, something you had accustomed to. You promised to not let him touch you ever again. It was annoying the way that idea stung in your chest, but eventually the sting faded, and everything went dark, hot water turning to cold.

Feeling nothing was feeling safe (and you felt so safe).

click here for part II

-

A/N I am giving myself PTSD with posting a 2 part fic, but guess what y’all - I ALREADY HAVE PART 2 FINISHED (someone clap for me, it’s seriously an accomplishment ok). I was going to post this as one big fic, but it just seemed a lot simpler to read it in 2 parts bc it is nearly 20,000 words. Which is def a big one lolol. I hope you guys LOVE and I will be posting part 2 in a day or 2 after seeing how this one sits with ppl (i’ll be posting part 2 regardless, I just don’t want to upload at the same time). Love you all so much, this is something I have been working on for a YEAR and i needed it out of my system. Baekhyun is my ult and writing angst for him was a challenge, bc he is literally like my actual sunshine on a rainy day. I hope you guys love this as much as I do <3<3<3 Please reblog, like, send me a message!! I love hearing from you all!! I’m going to try to go through my requests today and get some finished, we shall see! Have the best day!!