#Ficus Larry

[the-zapped-part-timer]

[sweetsubharry]

Hi! Sorry if it’s a bother or you don’t know any, but do you possibly have any ficus of Larry like fighting for dominance, or that sort of thing? Louis overall being dominant because- duh, but yeah anything like that, please! xx

I'm so sorry babes I don't think any of mine fit the bill :( most of the ones i read have Harry never really wanting to try that type of thing <3

[laserpinksteam]

Film after film: Moving On (dir. Paul Weitz, 2022)

While the premise is comedy, the details (and Fonda's acting) make it a drama, which makes for this film's tonal inconsistencies. Fonda's character mentions, in passing, how her father used to jokingly call her, and it's immediately and painfully clear that this has stayed with her throughout her life, this one stupid, crass, cruel remark. Myself slowly approaching old age and watching many dear humans and non-humans reaching it too, I notice how some films starring old actors may lack in originality but are heavy with wise insight. This film, supposedly commissioned by Tomlin in Weitz, who authored her fantastic lead-role vehicle Grandma, has a fake premise, anchored by McDowell, who recently gets to play simply horrible and abusive men, while the important stuff happens in the meantime, in passing, in the zinger-filled conversations between Tomlin and Fonda, who transplant their breezy chemistry from Grace and Frankie onto a more serious territory. It's interesting to see McDowell in a role of yet another sexually threatening and slightly evil grumpy old man. Herman was a very funny standout in Curb Your Enthusiasm's season nine episode, as the lady obsessed with the withering ficus in her former house, where Larry David moved in.

[spazztrapavacado]

AA headcannon pt 14: Phoenix is next up for a bullet point list of my weird assumtions

• ANY kitchen appliance that can damage you has hurt this man

• Has been burned on the stove, burned on the coffee pot, burned on the toaster, slammed hand in a kitchen drawer, scraped side on the countertop, ect.

• So, naturally, this man won't use a real knife unless absolutely necessary. He cuts anything he possibly can with a butter knife and it takes extra time

• He kept that hoodie he wore all the time when he was disbarred, and made the mistake of wearing it to see Miles one day

• The way Edgeworth paled when he saw him in that thing again made him swear to never wear it around him again

• His favorite color is pink, but if you ask him he'll say blue because he heard Larry make fun of some other guy for liking purple in the second grade

• He was a trouble child. Not breaking rules or anything, just seeming to attract it like a magnet everywhere he went

• He would always come out with little to no actual damage, but the amount of times he was in situations he should have at least been hospitalized for a few weeks but just stood up, dusted himself off, and walked off to ask for a bandaid are too many to be a coincidence at this point

• Because of this, he started stockpiling medical equipment when he got Trucy, assuming all children had the luck of himself and Larry. This is not the case and he is the only one that gets into his first aid kits.

• -He'd be mad if he weren't relieved-

• He absolutely packs lunches for Apollo and Athena when he can, even if they are adults now, they're his lawyer children

• When he puts notes in them, he looks up good dad jokes. Athena always laughs, Apollo is always rolls his eyes, and Trucy just smiles and sets it aside to drink her juice

• The first time he sent Trucy to school, she was happy and excited and hopeful... And he was sobbing in the parking lot for half an hour, he's had his baby a few months and she's school aged!?

• A few years with Charlie has him great at taking care of plants. Does he know the names of all the houseplants and flowers he's cared for? No. Will he make some up? Yes, absolutely, he lives for that.

• Maya: And you watered the Ficus?

Nick: Do you mean Jimmy or Carol? What's a ficus??

• A lot of his faith in people was crushed when he got disbarred, and it got worse when Kristoph, his friend, turned out to be using him. Now his hand reflexively coils around his magatama every time he talks to someone that isn't part of his little family

• Apollo can see the twitch of his hand through his pocket, and the day Phoenix stopped doing it when talking to him, he was struggling to hold their conversation. He'd only worked for him a month and a half and he just has that kind of faith in him?? Apollo would cry if he wasn't trying to look cool

• The one thing that stops him from outwardly calling Klavier his son is that he's certain Klavier will one day be his son in law

• Apollo is following tradition on this one, and it melts Nick's heart to watch them and think of a younger him and Edgeworth

• It doesn't stop him from checking on Klavier, who greatly needs and appreciates all the time the attorney spends just making sure Klavier's doing okay out there. They get along surprisingly well.

• When he told Trucy and Apollo they shared a mom, and then told them who that was, Trucy was thrilled... Apollo was pissed.

• It took weeks of persistent fatherly love and careful evening talks to shake him from the anger his mom had abandoned TWO kids, and was still out there not taking any sort of responsibility for it

• But if there is a man who can be stubbornly kind enough to make sure his adopted don isn't further traumatized, it's Phoenix. He'd go to the ends of the earth for his found-family

• He's sometimes at a loss for what to do for Athena. She's so healthy! Like, health is a hobby for her. Mental health? Doin great. Physical health? She's got abs and that alone makes her a tough act to follow.

• Keeping up with her is so hard, but he does his best. He doesn't realize how touching it is to her he even tries at all, and she'll slow down if he's trying to jog with her and give him the encouragement he needs to feel adequate at the very least

• When she does need him and her stress levels are through the roof, he is there SO fast to return all that encouragement and help, hes giving 110% to make sure Athena is up to the Athena standard

• His family is his world, and he's always going to be happy he chased Edgeworth down all those years. He got more from it than he ever thought he'd have in life and wouldn't change a single thing.

[duaneodavila]

Judge Alex Kozinski and The Mad Cow

The year was 2008, and the news was huge. It didn’t come at a time when there was a daily man in power being accused of sexual impropriety, so when it happened, it stood out. And lawyers took notice.

The blawgosphere is abuzz, awash, atwitter, about the Los Angeles Times revelation that 9th Circuit Chief Judge Alex Kozinski has a kinky side, revealed by “sexually explicit” images on his personal website.  That he was currently presiding over an obscenity trial of Ira Isaacs, described by the WSJ Law Blog as “accused of distributing criminally obscene sexual-fetish videos depicting bestiality and defecation. (For background on the Isaacs case, click here for an AP story.)“

Some have seized upon this delicious opportunity to challenge Judge Alex’s ethics and called for his recusal from the case.  Others have questioned whether the images are “crude and misogynistic — pictures of naked women as cows; pictures of womens genitalia with the caption, “Bush for President”; implied bestiality as humor.” And Howard Bashman asks whether this is newsworthy at all.  After all, would we be writing about this if Judge Alex was spotted at the newstand buying Playboy?

I was not kind to then-Chief Judge of the Ninth Circuit, Alex Kozinski. This reflected incredibly poor, not to mention icky, judgment on his part, and judgment is a jurist’s stock in trade. Others shrugged it off, calling our criticism of Judge Alex’s peccadillo a “baseless smear.”

According to the WSJ Law Blog, Larry Lessig has taken the offensive by attacking the media, including the blawgosphere, for smearing Judge Kozinski.

Parsing “the Kozinski mess”: Lessig says the real Kozinski mess is “the total inability of the media — including we, the media, bloggers — to get the basic facts right, and keep the reality in perspective.” Lessig writes: “The real story here is how easily we let such a baseless smear travel – and our need is for a better developed immunity (in the sense of immunity from a virus) from this sort of garbage.”

Well, hold on a minutes.  Does Lessig suggest that we should ignore an article in the LA Times because we don’t have personal knowledge of all underlying facts and haven’t personally and individually verified each and every one?

But all of this happened back in 2008. Judge Kozinksi was admonished for his  conduct and life went on. Now it’s back.

A former clerk for Judge Alex Kozinski said the powerful and well-known jurist, who for many years served as chief judge on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit, called her into his office several times and pulled up pornography on his computer, asking if she thought it was photoshopped or if it aroused her sexually.

The former clerk, Heidi Bond, who is now a novelist under the name Courtney Milan, has now written about her experience at length, an acolyte of the #MeToo movement. There are five other clerks/externs from Judge Kozinski’s chambers who have come forward.

Bond is one of six women — all former clerks or more junior staffers known as externs in the 9th Circuit — who alleged to The Washington Post in recent weeks that Kozinski, now 67 and still serving as a judge on the court, subjected them to a range of inappropriate sexual conduct or comments. She is one of two former clerks who said Kozinski asked them to view porn in his chambers.

From her retelling, Bond makes clear that this was emotionally traumatic to her, sufficiently devastating that she passed on a lawprof interview rather than risk running into Kozinski.

If you did not know about Kozinski, it would be impossible to understand my career choices. I applied for jobs as a law professor, but I pulled out of the UCLA interview a month before I was scheduled to visit—I couldn’t bear to be anywhere I might see him on a regular basis. I withdrew from the hiring process at the University of Michigan, my alma mater—when I did the campus visit, it reminded me too much of who I had been before the clerkship, and I couldn’t handle the memory.

There is no right or wrong involved in assessing Bond’s response to her experience. She lived it, and she gets to decide for herself how it would affect her. Then again, her assessment doesn’t dictate an objective reaction to Judge Kozinski’s conduct. This is why we don’t let victims sentence offenders.

But Judge Kozinski’s reaction was too glib by half.

Kozinski provided the statement after The Post called and emailed a spokesman with a detailed list of the allegations this story would include. After the story posted online, the judge told the Los Angeles Times, “I don’t remember ever showing pornographic material to my clerks” and, “If this is all they are able to dredge up after 35 years, I am not too worried.”

Saying “I don’t remember” is a far cry from saying “this never happened.” And showing a female clerk, or frankly any clerk, porn isn’t just bad judgment, but bizarrely inappropriate. Having the benefit of age, it should be clear that this wasn’t okay in context, given the norms of the day. It was pretty twisted then as well as now. Nobody did this. It was not acceptable to do this.

But now we reach Lessig’s point about proportionality. The English language lends itself better to hyperbole and hysteria than nuanced distinctions of offense, and reactions of the moment, particularly this moment, run deep into outrage mode. Lawyers have a more useful paradigm to consider this: offenses come in degrees.

Judge Kozinski’s 2008 offense, having porn on his personal, unsecured server that was released into the wild, was a misdemeanor. Showing it to his clerks, asking whether it aroused them, however, is a felony, as it should have been clear that it could do harm. But it’s a low-level felony, not because it’s insignificant, but because there are far worse offenses.

Kozinski never raped an extern, groped a breast or dropped his trou near a ficus. As Gail Collins says about Al Franken:

In the grand cavalcade of sexual assault charges we’ve been hearing lately, his list — from fanny-gropes to tongue-thrusts — is appalling but pretty minor league.

In this context, Judge Kozinski was playing little league, if not softball. But then, he’s a judge on the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, and how can such an appalling lack of judgment be ignored? Politicians are sleazy scum, and still they get elected. We can expect better of judges.

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[the-zapped-part-timer]