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224 FACTS ABOUT
The Stig
It is The Stig
It was originally going to be called “The Gimp”, but was renamed The Stig, which means having a bad fashion sense while being born poor
“We don't know its name, we really don't know its name, nobody knows its name, and we don't want to know, because it's a racing driver.”
The Stig wears its helmet on set and most cast members don’t know who it is.
The Stig does not know who it is because they wiped its memory when it got the job.
It is the Pope.
There is only one The Stig.
The Stig used to work in Rome[as the pope], but gave up its job to be able to keep up with its work here
It has no face
It is terrified of scouts
The drinks cabinet in its car contains 14 different types of custard
Its favourite T-shirt has a picture of a T-shirt
It is afraid of bells
It is confused by stairs
It never blinks
The Stig is kept in the cupboard when not in use
It naturally faces magnetic north
It has a digital face
The Stig has an evil twin named Black Stig who died after driving off an aircraft carrier but came back to life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Lkh0uWFg9c
It will charge you if you attempt to remove its helmet
Its nipples are explosive
It paid a $25,000 expenses claim for some gravel for his moat
The Stig has three legs
The Stig once dreamt for a whole week straight about what Rubens Barrichello would look like in a ham slicer
The Stig is banned from the town of Chichester
The Stig is the reincarnation of Jesus Christ
The Stig bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh
If you hold it in the wrong way, it doesn't work properly
It is 47% horse
It has 17 children due to faulty condoms
The Stig has a special pissing technique that causes floods
It once punched a horse to the ground
It has Mansell Syndrome
The Stig runs on diesel
It has a very small brain
It “has no understanding of the concept of money”
The Stig’s credit card says “The Stig” and is issued by The Bank of Money
The Stig’s favorite genres of music are: Morse code, whale songs, baroque music, advertising jingles, country & western music, sales techniques, foreign language learning tapes, ABBA but French, speeches of Margaret Thatcher, Elton John, pipe bands, vuvuzelas, national anthems, Tuvan throat singing, self help audiotapes, and “an annoying ringing sound”
The Stig has to receive awards in its left hand, as its right one is magnetic
The Stig has decided all northerners are edible
It’s mission statement is to "just go out there and drive fast"
The Stig’s opinion is worthless
The Stig has died multiple times, but the Grim Reaper is too afraid to tell it.
The extent of The Stig’s knowledge outside racing is two facts about ducks
Both facts are wrong
The three others once reenacted the journey of the three wise men, and at the end, the manger held a baby The Stig.
The next episode a month later, it was fully grown. Due to “Stigs grow very quickly, and the new The Stig was thus already fully grown.”
Stigs must be transported in delivery crates
The Stig has a fatter American cousin called Big Stig, who is a more relaxed driver
The Stig has an African cousin who only wears boots, a loincloth, racing gloves, and a helmet, has watched “The Lion King” 1780 times, ands second-best friend is a Cape buffalo
The Stig has a cousin who works as a truck driver named Rig Stig who can power slide and drift in trucks, has only one sleeve and wears special gloves, favorite song is “Forever Autumn" by Justin Hayward, and owns the world’s largest porn collection
The Stig has a red-suited Vietnamese cousin who is a communist and rides a motorcycle.
The Stig has a vegetarian cousin named Janet Stig Porter whose helmet is solar powered and wears overalls and socks with sandals
The Stig has a German cousin named Herr Stig who is identical to The Stig in every way besides having a mullet
The Stig has an Italian cousin named Bunga-Bunga Stig who wears a suit, is followed everywhere by three women, and only drives Italian sports cars
The Stig has a Chinese cousin named Attack Stig who is a kung-fu master, attacks anyone on sight indiscriminately, kicked James Lemay in the balls, beat up a large amount of the crew(even stopping in the middle of his timed lap to attack a track Marshall who accidentally entered its line of sight), and looks almost the same as The Stig
The Stig has a teenage cousin who wears headphones, wears low waist line pants showing its underwear, always looks at its phone, and made a mobile game titled “Top Gear: Race The Stig”
The Stig has an Australian cousin who lives in an open cut iron ore mine, wears dusty overalls and flip-flops, is very muscular, and has a very “large gentlemanly sausage”
The Stig has three other teenage cousins who are triplets, wear three different colored headphones and smartphones, and all have low waist line pants showing their underwear
The Stig has a Emirati cousin who looks similar to the normal Stig but wears a ghutrah on top its helmet and a huge diamond watch
The Stig has a relative of unknown association called “StigFoot” who lives in the woods
The Stig has a Japanese cousin named Ninja Stig who is a ninja, and wears a black helmet, a black ninja outfit, and has a katana on its back
The Stig has a business cousin named Business Stig who wears a red tie and a set of braces
The Stig’s father is named StigDad and wears a tank top and flare trousers
The Stig has another Australian cousin who lives upside down
The Stig has a New Zealander cousin named The Stug
The Stig has a Colorodonian cousin named Backwoods Stig who wears white racing overalls with torn off sleeves.
The Stig has a Yorkshire cousin named T’Stig with a flat cap on its helmet and 2 dogs by his feet at all times
The Stig has its own children’s book trilogy
The Stig has a chiseled jawline
The Stig has no friends
The Stig never blinks
The Stig roams the woods at night, foraging for wolves
The Stig is wanted by the CIA
The Stig sleeps upside down like a bat
The Stig can catch fish with its tounge
The Stig appears on high value stamps in Sweden
The Stig is illegal in 17 states
The Stig blinks sideways
The Stig’s breath smells like magnesium
Two of The Stig’s legs are hydraulic
The Stig lives in a tree
It’s sweat can be used to clean precious metals
It’s heart ticks like a watch
It’s voice can only be heard by cats
The Stig has two sets of knees
There is an airport in Russia named after it
Its skin has the texture of a dolphin
No matter where you are in the world, if you tune a radio to 88.4, you can hear its thoughts
The Stig has no understanding of clouds
Its earwax tastes like Turkish delight
The Stig is a master of politics
It’s tears are adhesive
If you set The Stig on fire, it would burn for a thousand days
The Stig can swim seven lengths under the water
The Stig has webbed buttchecks
Its heart is upside down
Its teeth glow in the dark
Its ears “aren’t where you would expect them to be”
The Stig once had an affair with John Prescott
If it felt like it, it could fire Alan Sugar
The Stig has upside down genitals
If it wanted to, it could crack the DaVinci Code in 43 seconds
Its ears have a paisley lining
The Stig is banned from the Chelsea Flower Show
The outline of The Stig’s left nipple is the exact same shape as the Nürburgring
If given a truly important job, The Stig will slack off and play croquet instead
The Stig invented Branston Pickle
On exceptionally warm days, it will shed its skin like a snake
The Stig is allergic to the Dutch
It’s first name is The
If it went in Celebrity Love Island, every one would be pregnant, including the cameramen
The Stig once threw a microwave at someone
The Stig once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner
The Stig has nothing to do with the cash-for-honors scandal
The Stig is a CIA experiment that went wrong
The Stig only eats cheese
If you lick its chest, it will taste exactly like piccalilli
The Stig sucks moisture from ducks
Its crash helmet is modeled after Brittany Spears’ head
The Stig isn’t machine washable
All its potted plants are named Steve
The Stig’s scrotum has its own gravity field
To unlock The Stig, you must run your finger down its face
The Stig thought Star Wars was a documentary
The Stig is afraid of Australian trees
61 years ago, The Stig accidentally introduced the Queen of England to a Greek racialist
The Stig was beheaded, but grew it back
When it slows down, break lights turn on in his butt
The Stig is bad at soccer
The Stig once lost a canoe on a beach in the Northeast
The Stig once had to do time in a prison in Canterbury, because its teddy bear was named Baby Jesus
The Stig has never sat on Santa’s knee
The Stig has never watched Moonraker on Boxing Day
After having sex, The Stig bites the head off its partner
The Stig had to give up binge drinking when prices reached $1.50 a litre
Each of its toenails are exactly the same length as a woman’s nipples
It thinks Credit Crunch is a type of cereal
Its droppings have been found as far as New York
The Stig has a full-size tattoo of The Stig’s face on its face
It is impossible for The Stig to wear socks
The Stig can open a beer bottle with its testes
The Stig sleeps inside out
The Stig once had sex with an answering machine
The Stig invented November
One of its eyes is a testicle
Its left leg gets longer when it sees someone it finds attractive
The Stig doesn’t like getting its helmet wet
The Stig invented the curtain
The Stig thinks potato chips are a type of animal
The Stig is baffled by urinals
The Stig has twelve GCSEs, all in domestic science
The Stig has been producing artificial sperm for years, even though the team has repeatedly asked it not to
On Thursdays, The Stig becomes extremely bulbous
The Stig is highly contagious of the “The Stig Flu”, which killed countless pigs in Mexico
If The Stig compensated a soldier for getting wounded, it wouldn't try to take it all back again
The Stig made someone bald once
In the Autumn, all its arms turn brown and fall off
if it wrote you a letter of condolence, The Stog would get your name right
The Stig has terrible plans involving the Moon
The Stig‘s new Christmas range of fragrances includes the great smell of Wednesday
The Stig was turned down for the job of EU President because its face was just too recognizable
The Stig has never once hit a fire hydrant.
You shouldn't go around to its house for your Christmas lunch unless you enjoy the taste of seagull
The Stig has to take his shoes off with an alum key
The Stig’s New Year's Resolution is to eat fewer mice
Its discharge is luminous
There are 17 different reasons why The Stig is banned from the North Hampton branch of Little Chef
Its favourite airline pilot is Mark Webber, or two, actually
The Stig has an irrational hatred of Rubens Barricello
The Stig is terrified the BBC will reveal its salary because its paid in hardcore porn
Some people think the Scottish released it a little bit too soon
The Stig once spent all week slowly pushing an effigy of Rubens Barricello through his desk fan
The Stig has recently been releasing pop records under the pseudonym of "Lady Gaga"
Under its race suit, The Stig also wears a red G-string and suspenders
The Stig doesn't understand the word "envelope"
The Stig is the only person in Britain not to have slept with Alan Johnson's policeman
The Stig once tore a goat in half
Its nipples are explosive
In its wallet, it keeps a photograph of its wallet
Its favourite disease it had as a child was gout
The Stig doesn’t know what dogs are for
The Stig can't eat mashed potato for religious reasons
The Stig once received 47,000 Olympic tickets, all of them for the final of women's wrestling
The Stig refuses to acknowledge the existence of Nottinghamshire
The Stig once hacked into its own helmet
The Stig is the only person in Britain who knows what B&Q stands for
The Stig once spent its $1.5 million dollar bonus on French breast implants
The Stig has 50,000 photographs of its own camera
The Stig has high horsepower
The Stig is skilled in cocktail-making
The Stig is the only person in history to buy a DFS sofa when it wasn’t on sale
Its favourite boxing venue is Munich Airport
The Stig stores all of its shoes and cassette tapes on the motorway central reservation
Following the vote on gay marriage in Britain, The Stig got engaged to James May’s lawnmower
Its convinced that Henry IV is buried under the Follow-Through
The Stig used to be a stormtrooper, but it was kicked out when it tried to eat Darth Vader
The Stig is made of rubber porcelain
The Stig’s shadow is that of a beluga whale
The Stig can play guitar with the clutch
Its carbon fibre beard is chiselled in the most streamlined way
The Stig knighted the former Queen of England
The Stig once saved the former Queen from God
The Stig can hypnotize sheep
If bothered, The Stig could swim the entire Atlantic Ocean-underwater
The Stig once co-presented a Brazilian show about blimp disasters
The Stig once actually punched God
The Stig once killed a giraffe with just its feet
The Stig has a black belt in paper maché
Some say it is five foot tall with lead in its feet
Others say six feet with tall with air in its head
....but it doesn't care what you say
The Stig has contracted every STD known to man
The Stig has large inflatable breasts to get them out of speeding tickets
The Stig is one of the protons in the Large Hadron Collider
The Stig creates miniature black holes every time he sneezes
The Stig was the one who actually pulled Excalibur from the stone and is the rightful King of England
The Stig gave birth to Chuck Norris and the mother was Superman
The Stig has no understanding of queuing
The Stig once modelled for Page 3
Its feet are made from dog leather
The Stig invented the mankini because it was frustrated with how its speedos looked on it
The Stig is the reason why The Beatles split up
And finally: The Stig has never watched an episode of Top Gear because it prefers a different show that airs at the same time
“Right, that's the track, now we needed someone who could tame it. So we got ourselves a professional racing driver who could post consistently fast lap times. We um, we couldn't do that. Now we call this thing The Stig, okay, we don't know its name, we really don't know its name, no-one knows its name and we don't want to know because it's a racing driver and racing drivers have tiny little brains and therefore worthless opinions and they're very dull; doctors actually call it Mansell Syndrome. Um, its job is simply to go out there and drive fast.”
-God probably
#please reblog this took almost 4 hours#I have never watched an episode of Top Gear#I just like The Stig#comment if I missed one#The Stig#Stig#Top Gear#James May#Hammond#richard hammond#jeremy clarkson#my posts#art#these are all real by the way#they aren’t in order
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Good morning TUMBLR. From today February 29, 2024, I have decided to publish a sort of memoir of my life in installments on TUMBLR. These are memories of travel and work experiences around the world, over a period of approximately 40 years.
The title is': ''Mr. Plant has owed me a shoe since July 5, 1971."
I hope to interest at least three or four readers.
Introduction Why this curious title, you will ask yourselves, my dear 3 or 4 readers. Well I have to think back to an evening way back in 1971, where I was one of the 20,000-odd spectators at a Led Zeppelin concert, the greatest rock group of all time. The concert, which had just begun for goodness sake, was interrupted by police charges, and we were forced to flee from the Vigorelli velodrome in Milan following the throwing of tear gas. Much has been said and written about that unfortunate evening. The fact is that despite Robert Plant's appeals for calm (Smile! Smile! Smile! he shouted into the microphone) which also sounded a little ironic, given the frequent firing of tear gas, at a certain point under the pressure of the human tide who was pushing us against the stage (we were among the lucky ones in the front rows) me and the 3 friends with whom I had come to attend the concert were forced to flee towards the velodrome track, and then to climb over the fence. In the excitement of the moment I lost one of my tennis shoes, but by then I was on the other side of the fence, and about 2 or 3 thousand people wanted to do the same thing, that is, climb over the fence! So I had to abandon the unhealthy idea of going back to the other side to retrieve the shoe. We somehow managed to escape from the velodrome, and took refuge on the floor of the FIAT 850 parked around there, in which we had come to the concert. Meanwhile the battle raged all around us. Every now and then we took a look out the windows, but the smoke from the tear gas and the burning cars didn't allow us to see much of what was happening. There were only big bangs and explosions of weapons and sirens that wouldn't stop screaming. I remember clearly seeing and hearing a lady from one of the balconies of the condominiums around the velodrami shouting at the policemen: ''Kill all those bastards…….don't leave even one alive….!! It all ended after hours, and all we had to do was sadly return home, happy to have saved our skin. The car - owned by the friend Eridano's mother - was full of dents, but the windows were intact. Later, when I finally got home, I threw the remaining shoe in the garbage.
INCIPIT But who is Bruno Sironi? It's easy to say: a child of '68 and the so-called ''Economic Boom'' - one of the many (all…) who had been made to believe that ''life will always be better'' and that ''the future will belongs''(and the best is yet to come) One who saw Italians go from the Vespa to the ''500'' and from the 500 to the 600 and then gradually the 850 and then the FIAT UNO and the Ritmo…and the butchers' boys ride in Alfa GT Junior (1,260,000 Lire in 1970) . To then understand that this was not the case and suddenly, just as it had begun, the era of continuous ''progress'' could (and did) end (and end badly). One who had to hear Comrade ''in cashmere'' Bertinotti that ''For the first time since the end of the last war there is the prospect that children will have a worse life than their fathers''. And the lawyer Agnelli declared in the famous television interview with Mixer in 1984 - to a question from the journalist Minoli on what Italy's prospects could be - he first adjusted his sypholine leg, and then replied: ''But you see Minoli… I believe that if all goes well… within a couple of decades Italy will be able to aspire to a standard of living equal to the best of the so-called Socialist countries, namely Hungary''. And that son of so-called progress, who has now grown old, has now realized that there is never an end to the worst. Because trying to make things worse - beyond Murphy's Laws - is in the nature of man (especially homo Italicus) much more than improving them. And that perhaps human beings start out with the best intentions, but then along the way, when faced with difficulties, they choose compromise, circumventing the obstacle, and almost never overcoming it. And finally, at all latitudes, in every historical period, and under any type of regime, what characterizes human beings is the instinct of dominance. And man's obsession with dominance derives from the very origin of animal DNA, and binds the destiny of every one of us. With these premises, and with a lot of suffering, I began my working adventure abroad by leaving for Arabia (Not Felix…) on 5 May 1980. Yes, the day of the anniversary of Napoleon's death, which I remembered (and I remember still …) by heart the poem dedicated to him by Alessandro Manzoni: He was….since immobile given the mortal sigh….He stood the remains oblivious to such a breath. But before that first trip, there are things and events that are worth telling, because as always, nothing is as it seems. As often happens, a friend, a certain Figini Mauro, approached me one day at the bar and said: ''You know, I have an uncle who works for a large construction company in Milan, with activities abroad'' – Really? ? I answer immediately interested - and what's his name, give me all the details, put me in contact with him, I want to try to have an interview (in short I felt inside that it could be more than one possibility) No sooner said than done, the day arrives when I am summoned to the offices of the ''Great Society''. The headquarters was located at the end of a street in the south of Milan, the continuation of Via Savona, after Viale Tibaldi. I get there first by trolleybus 90 (the Circunvallasiun) and then by walking for a few hundred meters on a dirt road. Admitted inside, I am introduced to a manager by the famous ''Uncle'' - who sings my praises: ''a good boy, good family, I guarantee'' (never seen or heard from the ''Uncle'' before that moment…) It is agreed that, before leaving for Saudi Arabia (Saudi Arabia???), I should spend a few days in an architecture studio in Milan (in Via Pantano). Architect Sala will take care of me, and possibly judge whether I am suitable to be sent to Saudi to draw up the so-called As Built (an English expression meaning ''As built'') drawings, i.e. how any project has been completed, with the changes made during construction highlighted. I thus learn (from Arch Sala) that the Big Society is building a military hospital in Dahran in the Eastern province (a military hospital which later, during the Gulf wars, proved to be very useful).
I then spent a week in the famous architecture studio, which I reached every morning with the public transport of the time: tram from Nova M. to via Farini, then the 8, which took me to via Orefici on the corner of Duomo. And then on foot along Via Mazzini, Via Larga – Via Pantano. Declared ''Suitable'' for the purpose (after having designed a hospital stretcher beater) I was then hired by Big Society and sent to Saudi with the Milan Linate – Rome – Riyadh – Dahran flights: I have a vivid memory of the seat on the left on the plane that I occupied, and of the vision of the Pre-Alps when we turned towards the South: the mountains of my youth disappeared on the horizon… No, it doesn't seem to me that ''as if it were now'', perhaps the opposite: I have the clear perception how much time has passed, 40 or more years… even the century has changed…….
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🚘 FIAT UNO 1.0 2012 PRATA COMPLETO 💰R$32.000 👇➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ O veículo contém: ✅ Ar condicionado ✅ Direção hidráulica ✅ Vidros e travas elétricas ✅ Limpador e desembaçador traseiro ✅ Excelente veiculo, econômico e confortável. 🔴Trabalhamos com : ✅ Financiamento bancário ✅ Com parcelas que cabe no seu bolso. 🙀Você não pode perder essa oportunidade, corre pra Mônaco veículos. 🚘 👇➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ 🛑Condições imperdíveis 62 3582-7080 📲 📍Av Zoroastro Artiaga qd 03 lt 10, Cidade satélite São Luís, Próximo o supermercado Uai Atacarejo e via fitness academia. ☺️🚘VENHA REALIZAR SEU SONHO! #uberaparecidadegoiania #uber #99 #99pop #way #unoway #seminovos #qualidade #veiculos #carros #aparecidadegoiania #goiania #carrosseminovos #top #vendadecarro #transparencia #mônacoveículosaparecidadegoiania (em Mônaco Veiculos) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqX_CJrLimP/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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FIAT UNO WAY 1.3 8v EVO FLEX 2020 *Transferência GRÁTIS* Completo, Revisado, 2dono. R$53.900,00 MORAIS AUTOCAR Av. Cidade Jardim - 5158 - Bq. dos Eucaliptos - São José dos Campos - SP. Segunda a Sexta 09h as 19h Sábado 09h as 13h Tel. (12) 3209.7470 / 99675.9447 WhatsApp: 12 3209-7470 Site: www.moraisautocar.com #moraisautocar Analise de ficha de financiamento por telefone, e-mail, site e WhatsApp, rápido e seguro, SEM COMPROVAÇÃO DE RENDA ou CNH. ---------------------------------—— Valor a vista, financiamento ou troca consultar a loja. *Condições somente no financiamento, sujeito a analise de credito pelas financeiras e bancos. Simulação ou Sugestão de credito. *A efetiva contratação da operação de crédito, nestas condições, depende da autorização da instituição financeira responsável pelo presente orçamento, sujeito a análise e aprovação de credito, tabela sujeito a alteração sem aviso prévio, confira os veículos participantes. **Consulte a loja. (em Bosque dos Eucaliptos, São José dos Campos) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp1Cjnfpzzc/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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#Fiat#Fiat uno#Fiat uno way#rojo#car lover#carreels#love cats#redcar#parati#chile#instachile#love#happy#frases#auto#gta#gta san andreas
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Não marca combustível - Diagnose de sensor de nível e painel
Não marca combustível – Diagnose de sensor de nível e painel
O veículo passou por uma troca de sensor de nível em uma oficina mecânica e após isto foi a um eletricista, ambos indicaram defeito no painel.Após realizar o teste com década resistiva, como mostrado no vídeo anterior, realizei a verificação diretamente com o sensor de nível ligado ao chicote. Este vídeo foi gravado para o cliente, mas nele mostro novamente como fazer o reset de leitura do nível…
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#como dar reset painel fiat#defeito marcador combustivel#nao marca combustivel#nao marca gasolina#problema marcador combustivel#reset marcador fiat#reset marcador nivel fiat#resetar marcador combustivel#teste de boia de combustivel#teste de sensor de nivel#teste marcador combustivel#teste marcador nivel painel#troquei a boia e nao marca combustivel#troquei a bomba e nao marca combustivel#troquei o sensor de nivel e nao marca#uno mille way
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hello to you there! im soooo happy about today's victory that i dont even know how to put that happiness in words, but I'll try
Devils roll the dice | Charles Leclerc imagine | part 3
this is part 3 of welcome to the team, you can read part 2 here
sunday, july 10th, red bull ring, austria :
"hey charles, i just want to tell you that's a p1, you did it, p1, charles, p1" y/n said on the radio, the smile bigger than she could imagined, the ferrari garage was celebrating charles victory
"oh my god, y/n, we did it, i was so scared, oh my god", charles were audibly happy
72 hours before:
y/n went bananas with the austrian gp, it was red bulls home, they people would be all around it, all the pressure, the comments, the stress... it would be all about ten times worse than anywhere on the calendar. after great britain things got weird, to say the least, between charles and mattia, specially after the cameras take that photo of mattia with his italian way of pointing fingers to someone after the race, the garages went shut, we weren't communicating nearly close to enough as we should, and that was reflecting on everyone; charles went back to monaco as soon as he could, and his way to show that he was upset was leaving his lovely pista spider behind, mattia saw that as his red flag to went to his driver and fix things, y/n had absolutely no idea how things went, but considering that charles was here and apparently in a good mood was a great start, or she thinks so.
when she retweeted something saying that charles needed to get into his reputation era (on her private twitter account that she forgot he follow her on his private account) she wasn't expecting him to actually do it. during the sprint race when she asked him if she needed information about the currently position and he answered back with a solid "no, i don't care, but thank you" she went into a deep mood state called "im ready to commit a crime". and listen to me, charles wasn't a rude person, he was actually a really polite one, he almost never give the team bad answers and was very polite with everyone, and y/n had absolutely nothing to do with all the shit they pulled with him before she arrived, so when he left his car post qualy, she went straight after him - and everyone heard her cursing in portuguese and they knew better than sticking their noses around to listen the really soft conversation they would have.
he entered the room and when the door was millimeters to close y/n entered too, and the sound the door made was heard back into mclarens garage.
"what..." charles started saying but the look into y/n face was so angry he shut himself
"i don't care, but thank you" she signaled with quotations marks in the air "that all you gonna give to me? you know i don't have anything with the bullshit the team is putting on you, on the other hand, im here to make your life easier, to help you to win the fucking championship, do you know that, right?"
"yes, i know, and it was not what i meant..."
"is was not what you meant? do you want to get angry? fine, do it, with mattia, with the awful pit team, with the strategy team, not with me, because if the whole championship depended on me you could bet you would be leading it, but guess what, it DOES NOT" you emphasized the last two words
"y/n, im sorry, i wasn't directed towards you" he was visible concerned about fucking things up with you
"i was the one on the radio with you, and if you don't like that you can ask for a switch" y/n said and leave the room, she was about to cry, but she didn't, she went for a walk instead, walking through pierre gasly, who not ironically was doing the exactly the same thing
"your best friend is an asshole" she said as she got close to him
"yeah, i agree on this one" he said and she remembered the little incident on free practice when they nearly touched each other
"i would make a toast, but i don't have any drinks, by the way, im sorry on how the season is going, the car is worse than the 1997 fiat uno i used to drive back in school"
"woah, i never thought about the car being this bad, but i think you're not wrong. what charles did that let you this red? or you're just matching the outfit?" you let a laugh out
"im being passive aggressive because i hate when people talk rude with me, but until tomorrow we're back to normal, anyway, it was nice to see you gasly, good luck tomorrow"
"you too, y/n. you too" he walked away from you, going back to the alpha tauri garage as you grabbed your phone to find something to do while you waited to go back. you opened you stories about last week when you and charles went back to your hotel room and drink half of the tequila bottle while playing monopoly and watching funny videos on tiktok, he opened up with you about the season so far and you understand why he was so mad, but it didn't give him the right to direct that angry to you, and hit a nerve all the attitude, and the lack of it from mattia, you've saw the fight the drivers where pulling with each other and if that keeps going they wouldn't win anything, but you're just a mere mortal, if the big boss didn't know what he was doing you wouldn't be the one to teach him.
you want straight to the cars, never stopping by to see the boys, you need a couple of moments just with the engines and the tools, three weeks were starting to get you, it wasn't easy to travel around and all the pressure that was indirectly hitting you, so you focus all your attention on delivering the car the best you could.
sunday, formation lap
after all, charles didn't ask the team to switch the person who would be on the radio with him the whole race, and despite the fact that you were less smiley you were 100% focused on your job. carlos passed by to say hello to you and went to his car, charles did close to the same thing, the only difference was that he didn't actually said anything, he just hold your shoulder a little bit longer and tighter than the usual. both of the drivers were in their respective cars, the mechanics take away the tires covers and went back to the pit wall. the grid formation was ready, we have max in p1, charles p2 and carlos p3. after the little miscommunication during the qualy, when the lights went off, charles didn't try to overtake max, he held his position, defending the p2 from anyone who tried to steal it away.
y/n had passed pretty much the whole night studying the car and analyzing the reliability on the straights, and her job was successful. despite t
the fact that the race was pretty much a easier way to red bull win because of the amount of straight lines, her job with the balance and aerodynamics of the car were impeccable, y/n alongside with the team put a rocket on track. and when she was leaving the garage last night, she went to both pitstop mechanics and give them a lecture about no fucking things up on race switching and the pitstop (obviously she did it in the most polite way as possible) and she did the same thing with the strategy people, she was working side by side with carlos strategist, and was only because of that that they managed all the pitstops so incredible well.
it was during lap 11 when charles overtaked max the first time, the whole crew went euphoric, so far so good, the car was nice, charles was driving in the highest category. the first pitstop allowed max to recover the p1 one again, but on lap 33, in front the orange army, charles put all again and went p1 again. and another tires switch to the car hold the rest of the race, and again, one last time, on lap 53 charles do it again, the crew went loud, it was only 18 laps to go, just 18 left and we would have two ferrris on the podium. but the thing with ferrari is: your almost never fully happy, carlos car stopped, power unit problem, just whenyou thoughtyou had that fixed, it was a hit in your confidence and the team, the car was on fire and he was still inside of it, the panic started growing inside of y/n chest, only when she saw carlos on the motorcycle going back to the pit she could breathe easily
"is everything ok with carlos?" charles asked on the radio
"positive, he's out of the car and fine. 13 laps to go"
missing 6 laps charles opened the radio again: "there's something wrong with the throttle"
"ok, let me check, hold on" y/n went to all the data and apparently everything was ok, she went back on the radio "charles, something must be holding the throttle, but its not mechanical or electrical, can you keep pushing? 5 more laps to go"
"yeah, I'll try it" and a couple more minutes again "there's something really wrong with the throttle y/n"
"ok, we're checking, keep it cool, i know the car is loosing grip, but 3 more laps, ok?"
"ok"
"stay with me, 2 more laps" y/n kept the updates constantly, she needed to make sure that charles weren't panicking "ok, one more lap to go, hold it"
"im holding it"
"curve 7 now... and 8... getting into the curve 9, one more, charles, just one"
charles passed through the white and black flag, the winning flag
"hey charles, i just want to tell you that's a p1, you did it, p1, charles, p1" you said on the radio
"oh my god, y/n, we did it, oh my god. yesssss, lets gooo", charles were audibly happy.
the whole garage was euphoric, you could see the smiles of relief, the weight leaving everyone's shoulders, after 5 shitty race weekends, charles won. the team went to wait for him close to where he would park his car, and the first thing he did one he left the car was running to the team, the mechanics, the staff, you... he held everyone inside a relief hug that all the sadness and angry left your system, nothing that happened before that moment mattered anymore, not when he was so happy, so in piece with himself.
the team watched the podium and anna came to see you, after all, lewis was there too, and after such stressful moments with the car, he was finally into the pace race.
"you know i know the way you're looking to him" anna wasn't subtle at all
"im looking at him with admiration and that's all"
"sure, y/n, absolutely, i truly believe in you because it not like i know you from 6 years and haven't see you fall for someone"
"annes, its not like were going to be together or something, im here to make the car better and help the team to make him world champion, its not a taylor swift song or a movie about romance"
"damn girl, you've been thinking about it because ot was a really long answer, but whatever you said, if you need me to kick him, I'll do it" she held you by your side and both of you stood there. charles looked so happy, he could barely hold his smile, his was born to be on the highest spot and just like that you realized that you would 100% do everything in your powers to help him - and if means that you have to blow away the red bulls tires, you would.
oh shit, you were really falling for him.
after the ceremony a couple of people went out to celebrate with charles, the mechanics, pierre, and even carlos was there, so when you arrived it wasn't much of a big news, because at the end of the day you were part of the team and you were happy for him. you stopped by some group of mechanics, talked to them for a bit and went to say hi to everyone, you didn't see charles, well, you did, but he was busy drinking shots with pierre so you stayed where you were and kept talking with people, because at the end of the day you were really good at talk to people and that part of you were pushed away bacuse you were too concentrated and focused on your work and worried about not screw over that you locked up that part, and now that every single person in that room were happy you could go back to the version of yourself who is playful and a light of sunshine.
you walk to the boys, taking a look at the empty cups and the happy smiles.
"this is really a celebration, isn't it?"
"there's room to celebrate and im so happy" charles said and he hugged you, an actual hug, and he was wearing some amazing parfum "im glad you came"
"that's a sentence that could be during sex or at a party" gasly gasped after the awful joke he made it
"unfortunately i don't think you can use it referring to the first one" you answered back and carlos and charles high fived each other "im glad im here too, now who's gonna be the one to offer me a drink? a girl need a tequila shot to start the night"
"I'll go, if tequila is what you want, tequila is what you got" carlos tapped the table and point at you, leaving the trio and as soon as he stopped to talk to someone you knew your drink would only arrive an hour later, carlos was what you like to call the congressman from the grid
"that drink is gonna take some time" you said
"you can drink mine, driving fast cars for a living is adrenalin enough" charles said and pushed his cup to you
"thank you, and congratulations again" you drink the content from the cup and took a bite from the lemon slice, charles came closer to you to say:
"im sorry about yesterday, i was angry and annoyed with the team, not with you, im never angry with you and the way i spoke to you was really rude, so im sorry" he said lower than you expected
"that's ok, i got it, seriously, no need to stress over that, and im sorry too, i lost it and i shouldn't have said those things to you either" both of you were so close that you could actually feel his smile when he said "so we're even"
he was flirting with you or it was just the tequila?
pierre made an annoying sound so both of you could pay attention on him, it got your nerves that dude being an aquarius not a leo person, but who were you to say anything?
"lets play truth or dare or two truths and one lie, who got it wrong drink, the champ choose"
"we are back in high school all over again?" you asked after calling a barman and ordering a couple of rounds to the improvised table the three of you were standing
"depends, who were you in high school?" that question was definitely a flirt coming from pierre
"the girl who you would stay away, thats for sure"
"and why is that?" charles asked after drinking another shot
"high school in brazil is pretty different from the us or europe, those were the worst three years of my life, and i was too smart to fall for someone with ocean blue eyes and a cute accent" you clarified
"that's the second time you mention the french accent, do you have a thing for french people?" either charles wanted to ask this or he was starting to get drunk, you gasped when you realized that he was closer than seconds before "truth or dare, y/n?"
"truth" you always pick truth
"is it true that you can steal away anna's recipe for us to have the amount of success that mercedes have?" you and pierre laughed for that one
"i can't, and i wouldn't because im here to do better than her, pierre truth or dare?"
"dare" obviously
"i dare you to tell us why your relationships doesn't work longer than three months or you found someone to kiss in this club" he looked at you, drink a shot and walked away
"he's gonna make you pay for that"
"im ok with that, truth or dare, charles?"
"truth"
"don't you have a girlfriend?" you were dying to know that
"i used to, past tense, but it's over, truth or dare, cherie?" the accent, you knew you would be in serious trouble if the accent keep happening
"dare" you could tell he wasn't expecting that when his eyes locked with yours longer than the usual
"i don't have a dare for that, but considering pierre is back im gonna call for help" you started saying that was unfair but what was the worst thing that could happen? "pierre, give her a dare"
if the devil had a look it would be the one you were receiving that moment
"i dare you to kiss the girl i just kissed"
"what if i don't like girls?" you raised one eyebrow to him
"then I think you gonna have to kiss charles over here" he grabbed his best friend shoulders, charles look straight to you, those green eyes staring deep into yours, what was that heat you were feeling? ok, that's how he wanted to play the game, thats the way it would be.
carlos choose that moment to came with your drinks, you take the first one and drink all of the cup, when was the last time you kissed a girl? you couldn't remember, but you asked anyway "who's is she?" all three of them looked at you at the same time, pierre barely recovered when he pointed to the blond girl a few meters away and you walked in her direction. you tapped her shoulder and got closer to explain to her what was going on and her hand, not ironically, went to rest on your waist, she gave you a not innocent at all smile and leaned closer to you.
you came back to the table only to found pierre holding a bottle of water into his neck and charles looking at you the exactly deep way, you found the nearest couch and sit down, all the alcohol getting into your system got you all happy
"so you do like girls?" the french man asked
"oh i do like girls, i like them a lot" you take the bottle out of his hands and drink it
"do you want to dance?" charles asked you
"yup, but im a terrible dancer" you said and hold his hands, he guide both of you to the dance floor but instead of stopping there he entered one hide hallway
"that's not the dance floor" you said a little confused
"do you swear?" he said with that cute smile "just wanted to take you away from pierre before he actually got invented on flirting with you, and i don't want my best friend with his hands inside my engineer pants, dress, whatever"
"oh, ok, he's ths competition if you want to know, i would never" you emphasized the never
"truth or dare, y/n?" he sustained your look and locked your fingers
"truth"
"kissing me would be so bad that you choose to kiss a random girl?" you think about it and answered his question with another one
"truth or dare, charles?" it was your time to got closer
"you didn't answered my question"
"truth or dare, charles?" you asked again and this time he answered: "truth"
"do you want to show me how monegasque people kiss? considering you're pretty much french and people say that french people have the best kisses-" you were cut out of your sentence when charles grabbed you by your waist and switch positions, you were now with your back in the wall
"im gonna kiss you now, ok?" you nodded and his mouth was on yours, his tongue gently playing with yours, you were expecting something sweet, but when one of his hands went to hold your hair and the one that remained in your waist pulled you closer, deepening the kiss you got it and move your hands to his hair and shoulders, you were craving to scratch those shoulders
charles started to slow the kiss, he let you go just to kiss your jawline and your neck before looking at you again, both of you were breathless
"it was a good kiss?" he yet had the audacity to ask
"it was a really good kiss, can i have another?" you blinked innocently
"yeah, you can" and he leaned back again, the second kiss were less erratic, way more sensual, you were taking the time to know each other, learn how you like it, and jesus christ, charles knew what he was doing, the innocent, cute, two dimples and a little bit dumb chaotic energy was just a facade, that man knew how to push your buttons just with a simple kiss.
later that nigh he drive both of you back to the hotel, after all, he stopped drinking after you arrived and while he was stoned sober you were flushed and red from toes to head. you were staying in the same floor, so when the elevators doors closed he reached your hand, not locking your fingers, just holding your pinkie finger with his, it was ridiculously intimate, but you liked. he walked you to your room door and you lean there
"i don't want to throw a cold shower at you, but this cannot compromised our friendship or our work relationship" you said, actually holding his hand
"i think a good kiss makes wonderful things to a friendship, but I'll keep it professional, you become my favourite engineer and im not letting a couple of hot kisses ruin this. even though i want to ruin you, I'll keep it to myself" he said the last sentence lower and really close to your ear "have a good night, y/n"
"you too charles, I'll see you in a couple of weeks in france and I'm hoping for a tour"
"I'll tour you, just don't mention this to carlos or pierre" he chuckled
"i wont, now you go rest, i need my future champion to beat red bull shit out of them"
"if i knew you were that funny i would have bring you to monaco, but good night and have a safe flight"
"you too" he leaned one last time that day and give you a hug followed by a cheek kiss
you opened your door and closed really fast, before you changed your mind and do something really stupid. when you turn the lights on anna was laying in your bed, a glass of wine in her rand and her cellphone on the other one
"oh my fucking jesus christ, how do you get in here?" your heart were beating ten times faster
"im lewis hamilton engineer, i have privileges, now you better start telling me everything that happened tonight"
"it was a long night- wait, hold on that i think i lost carlos" you just remembered that you haven't seen him in hours and went to your phone
"he's sleeping, isa lecture him for 40 minutes about the process and losing and all of that and he slept, now spill it out"
it would be a really long night, but you sit down and tell everything to anna, and the next day when you got into your flight wearing the ferrari merch you posted something on twitter about the insanities pseudo french people could do. you were hoping thing not to change, you really like to work with ferrari.
"we're the best ones" your phone sound the twitter notification, it was charles response to your tweet.
next part here
it's finally happening our couple, see you after the French GP, hope you take all the tsiwft references
byeeeeeee
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#formula one imagine#charles leclerc x you#formula 1#formula one#f1 imagine
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Troca de correia dentada, eliminação de vazamentos, limpeza de bicos, troca de velas, troca de óleo e filtros, correção rumorosidades na suspensão e folga na direção: Fiat Uno Way 2010 Diagnose realizada com osciloscópio observando alta pressão no coletor e erro no posicionamento da polia do sensor de fase em relação ao comando de válvulas. #fiat #uno #mille #way #fiatuno #fire #revisao #revisaoperiodica #trocacorreia #correiadentada #fasagem #ajustesensorfase (em Garage 545) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_TgTYCgj81/?igshid=14palgujzgznh
#fiat#uno#mille#way#fiatuno#fire#revisao#revisaoperiodica#trocacorreia#correiadentada#fasagem#ajustesensorfase
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TharnType SS2 Episode 7
*sigh of relief* Thankfully, that wasn’t a marriage proposal. I’m really happy Tharn took the time to show Type some loving. The romantic staycation seems to be exactly what they both needed. Type is being so shy about it after 7 years! They’re so cute!
Also, is that rooftop’s floor marble? The Kiriguns really got dough.
THAT’S NOT HOW FRIENDS SLEEP. I don’t know what lies MewGulf and MaxTul have been telling you Fiat, but you don’t snuggle up to anyone like that and not catch feelings. How can he possibly think that doing this with Leo and chasing Type at the same time is okay? And now Fiat is stalking Tharn’s instagram… I told yall, Lhong is Kengkla is Fiat.
So, what’s going on with Cir? Is he kinda noncommittal? I don’t think Cir should have anything to worry about, so I’m confused as to why this conversation with Tharn happened. The scene would’ve been just fine without it. I can only assume they are setting up for a sequel/spinoff for CirGun, or they are gonna have a really big role in later episodes.
They are playing Uno wrong. Even if they are cheating, they are cheating wrong. There was no finesse in this game. No flavor. It’s like they’re playing to please No (which is prolly true) and mid-way Type was like “I wanna win”. Also, why is Techno calling Type “Daddy”? Again. Did he hear something again? Pro tip: if you cannot shuffle the whole deck of Uno cards, don’t be the dealer.
I was today years old, after 7 weeks, that I learned Type’s boss’ name: Thiti. Yes, Type punch him. You can do it. I will support you.
I despise work gossip. As someone who used to be in Type’s shoes, I really feel his pain. It’s hard to deal with people who don’t know what they’re talking about and don’t care to learn the details. I know Dr. Khunpol means well. I don’t think he’s going about it the right ways. I fear Type will punch him too.
Tharn and Type wouldn’t fight nearly as much as they do if they both knew how to talk about their feelings. Like, Type, just tell Tharn you’re jealous of Gil. Like just talk. Please. I’m sick of it. He’s not laughing and joking all day. He is literally a music producer. Gil is pretty much his management.
Alas, Klui is good for something besides eavesdropping. His house is a mess though. He so busy in other people’s business, he can’t clean his house.
Seo’s back! Standing at Klui’s door like a reset sim… Seo is crying. Seo didn’t debut… The mascara trails. The broken Korean… the tissues... Poor Seo...
Let’s be honest, Type deciding listening to Seo cry is less of an annoyance than being around Tharn is a mood. (unrelated note, whatever highlighter the makeup team has been putting on Type’s cheekbones is *chef’s kiss*)
Not Fiat texting Type about his job mid break down.
Another thing I don’t understand. Instead of telling Type to quit and “let me take care of you”, why don’t you say “quit and let’s find you something new”? It takes away the “dependency” Type doesn’t want. I am so good at taking apart Type’s character. I knew since ep 1 that the boy named “T” didn’t wanna be gossiped about again. I feel so bad for Type. All that said, look at Type’s face. Tharn is his safe haven. And Tharn called him “my little Type.” Like his parents. I’m so soft right now.
Tharn, how does one conveniently forget to tell their significant other, the love of their life, their mia that they are leaving for TWO (count em, uno, dos) weeks.
So I took an ethics class once, so I think I’m an expert logic dissector. If A (Type being credible) is B (Thiti’s business) and B is not C (Type having a boyfriend), then C is not B. Simply put, mind your own business. This is made in a time where workplace discrimination should not be a thing. A person’s sexual orientation has nothing to do with their capabilities as a medical professional. I didn’t see this energy when you were picking on Type for “dating” the nurse you wanted, Thiti. You look like you would cheat on your wife. You look like you throw food on the floor when it’s too salty. You act like your mama didn’t give you affection as a child. You look like you were bullied as a child for having braces. You spineless, rotten sow. You deserved that punch and I wish Type would’ve pulled you back for a second. There should’ve been 4 punches in this scene. One to the boss, one to lil bitch #1, one to lil bitch #2, then another to the boss. Triflin wench.
Onto the trailer: Tharn should punch Fiat. Full stop.
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Auto Generali dijo presente en otra nueva jornada del Torneo Empresarial de Golf.
En esta ocasión, hubo 72 inscriptos que participaron en dicho torneo. Para esta jornada, se exhibió el Nuvo Uno Way a la salida del hoyo uno, junto a banners y mástiles institucionales.
A la finalización del torneo, las promotoras repartieron obsequios a todos los asistentes y entregaron premios a los ganadores.
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It is true that this UNO design looks quite minimalistic and modern; however, its color scheme of more black and less of its well-known set of red, yellow, green, and blue does trouble some of the public. It is very probable that this style can make one feel like they need a classier or more elegant setting in order to play it properly, which was almost surely never the case in terms of the cards that have been in play for many years. In the image above (source below), the original set is compared to a Fiat Multipla (Type 186), which was in production from 1998-2013--while the newest UNO is compared to a Lamborghini Aventador, which started in 2011 and is still being produced today. The Multipla is often made fun of because of its shape, which is looked at as peculiar or just plain ugly, compared to other cars. It has won multiple “Ugliest Car” awards, as well. Its color, in this photo, which is red, typically signifies playfulness or adventurousness within products. The Aventador, however, is and has always been generally thought of as a luxury car. Additionally, it has an added spoiler--signifying speed (and an added price, as well). Its color, which is black, is typically thought of as classy because of its soft sheen and ability to be unnoticed. It is also comparatively drastically more expensive than the Multipla--the original price of the Fiat is currently unknown, but with questionably accurate math, the Aventador is worth about 3500 times the worth of the Multipla’s worth in 1988, which was its beginning year, and car values lower over time. Comparing these two cars with the sets of cards show that people will think of UNO as more of a high-class card game, which in turn may raise its prices, since most things thought of as luxurious are proportionally more expensive than similar products in their fields. Tabletop games are intended to be fun and easy--but with this new set, they soon might no longer be looked at this way.
#meme essay#meme writing#dank meme#dank memes#dank#dankest#meme#memes#dankest meme#dankest memes#funny#funny memes#funny meme#reddit#reddit memes#reddit meme#r/dankmemes#r-dankmemes#lol#lmfao#lmao#haha#uno#new uno#new uno design#uno design#fiat multipla#joke essay
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Car history time
Source
Since I saw the Makigai MaiMai on Cyberpunk 2077 I knew that the original reference was the asian minicars we all know but I couldn't stop seeing a legendary car in Brazil, the Gurgel.
Source
João Augusto Conrado do Amaral Gurgel was a Brazilian mechanical and electrical engineer who dreamed with a 100% nation car brand. He started his dream with $ 10.000 and 4 employees in the 60' first producing the Ipanema buggie.
Source
With the Ipanema success the company invested int he development of off-road vehicles, leading to the Xavante XT with a chassi made of steel and plastic (patented by gurgel as Plasteel), glass fiber reinforced plastic body and suspension developed by Gurgel himself, being their first car tested by the Army.
Source
The Xavante XT lead the way for the X-12, wich caught the public attention, being one of the most sucessful in the 70' by offering a civil option for the military line. It also had a unique and ingenious traction alternation system that allowed the traction to be exchanged between the wheels of the differential axle, a great substitute to the 4-way-drive system that were too heavy.
Source
The most incredible part of Gurgel's history was the first projects of electric cars still in the 80' with the Itaipu E140 and the E400 but both were discontinued due to the high battery cost and low autonomy of the technology at the time.
Source
Source
Gurgel said in a interview on the launch of the E150:
“There are several alternatives today to replace oil. The oil can be replaced by several alternatives and in my opinion the most valid one is the electrical” (in Portuguese)
At the end of the 80' he focused his brand to make the most affordable car in the market, aiming at a price tag of US$ 3.000 but they stabilished a US$ 7.000 car with the BR800 (personally the first image I have when someone talks about the brand) deliveryng 5.000 units to the streets.
Source
Part of the success that allowed Gurgel to grow was due to the protectionist policies of the Military governments that ruled Brazil since the 60' and in the 90', with the lift of sanctions to foreign manufacturers and tax incentives for low powered cars, Gurgel started to decline in popularity since the multinational arrived with powerful low cost cars, most notable the Uno Mille from the italian Fiat.
And I finish my post with the Gurgel Motomachine with its full translucent doors.
Source
Thank you!
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FIAT Uno Way EVO 1.3 8v Flex 2020 :: Completo :: Ar condicionado, Direção eletrica, Alarme, travas e vidros eletricos, 2air bag, Freios ABS, Computador de bordo, Painel Digital, Start-Stop, 2 opções de Direção, Kit visibilidade, volante motorista Ajustável, kit Way Completo. :: REVISADO :: R$55.900,00 MORAIS AUTOCAR Av. Cidade Jardim - 5158 - Bq. dos Eucaliptos - São José dos Campos - SP. Segunda a Sexta 09h as 19h Sábado 09h as 13h Tel. (12) 3209.7470 / 99675.9447 WhatsApp: 12 3209-7470 Site: www.moraisautocar.com #moraisautocar Analise de ficha de financiamento por telefone, e-mail, site e WhatsApp, rápido e seguro, SEM COMPROVAÇÃO DE RENDA ou CNH. ---------------------------------—— Valor a vista, financiamento ou troca consultar a loja. *Condições somente no financiamento, sujeito a analise de credito pelas financeiras e bancos. Simulação ou Sugestão de credito. *A efetiva contratação da operação de crédito, nestas condições, depende da autorização da instituição financeira responsável pelo presente orçamento, sujeito a análise e aprovação de credito, tabela sujeito a alteração sem aviso prévio, confira os veículos participantes. **Consulte a loja. (em Morais Autocar Veículos Seminovos) https://www.instagram.com/p/CnfrTSjvVk9/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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Lil’ drabble I whipped up last night
you can read below the cut, if you’re curious.
Dec 29, 20XX; 4:59 pm
I pack up the last of my things after shutting down my station, watching in careful silence as the little red hand ticks its way to twelve. Five...four...three...two...! Shift’s over, I’m outta here. I grab everything and head out to the back lot; five cars to the left from the doors sits a little blue four-door Fiat. I love blue. I press the button once to unlock the door to the driver’s seat, hop in, reach into the glovebox and pull out Map Of The Soul: Persona. In goes the CD as I start the car and pull out.
Homebound.
I make a right into my complex as Home comes to an end. I pull in to the spot closest to my door, put the car in park, and step out with my bag. I stop to lock the car and take out my key before heading toward the sign that reads 1308.
I step inside, lock the front door, and put the bag down next to my shoes. I grab a bag of chips from the cupboard, then chill on the couch with my phone. Around 5:23, my phone starts playing the beginning of Pied Piper, my chosen ringtone. The caller ID flashes at the top of my screen. Oh, it’s Myra. So, I pick up the call.
“Hey, Myra.”
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Just got home from work maybe an hour or so ago. You?”
“Just fine. I was wondering if you’d like to come over for a bit, maybe hang out with some others. You down?”
“Yeah, sure! I’ll bring some games, if that’s alright?”
“Go for it! See you soon, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Beep.
I get up, head for my room and grab a small backpack. I decide on taking some Uno cards, some playing cards, my headphones and my Switch. Then I take the backpack, sit down on the couch and set it next to me. I pick up my phone again, this time to text my boyfriend. I open the app and tap on our conversation.
[me] Hi, how’s it going?
A few minutes pass before the ellipses pop up.
[love of my life] Almost done with practice, should be home soon
[love of my life] How are you?
[me] just got off work an hour ago. my friend invited me over to her place, so i'll come back home between 7 and 8
[love of my life] ok, have fun
[me] see you soon
And with that, I put on my Pumas, the backpack, and my headphones and stand at the door. I search up the Wings album on my phone, press play and get walking.
Her dorm is within walking distance, so I made the trip in less than 10 minutes. I cross the street and walk up the stairwell to the sign that reads 1354. I don’t have to knock more than twice, she calls from inside that the door’s already open. I grab the knob and twist, and what do you know? I step inside and put my shoes on the rack in her doorway. I notice I wasn’t the only one invited, as two other pairs of eyes meet mine from the dining room. I barely have time to sit down before the greetings start.
“So glad you could make it. Everyone, this is Lori. We’ve been friends for a while, and she’s been the best friend I could’ve asked for.”
There came a collective ‘aww’ throughout the room, and I smiled gratefully at such praise. She then introduces me to everyone else.
“I know you’re likely very confused as to who these people are, Lori, so allow me to introduce them. This is Mack,” she gestures to a short girl with a wavy brunette ponytail and red glasses, sitting at the table with a glass of milk, “and this is Jewel.” she points to the girl next to the first, around my height, with raven black hair and a red beanie. I grin and wave politely, which they acknowledge with a nod and a wave, respectively.
“Good to meet you both, and Myra, good to see you again. I brought some Uno cards; who’s up for a game?”
Jewel sits upright and her eyes light up with a competitive flame. “Oh, I love Uno! Nobody’s beaten me yet.”
I let out a chuckle as I pull the pack from my bag. “A champion, are we?”
“For sure. Would you like to challenge me for the crown??”
I sit at the table and begin to shuffle the deck. “I mean, what have I to lose?”
“Heh...Everything.”
“Oh, you cocky little--It’s on.”
And the game begins; we lose twice to Jewel in an hour, but Myra and I beat her the next. The next round Jewel and Myra teamed up against me and Mack, the next was me and Myra against Jewel and Mack, and the next was me and Jewel against Mack and Myra. Then I pull out my playing cards to play two rounds of Slap Jack. I win twice, to Jewel and Myra respectively.
An hour or so comes and goes, and everyone’s on the sofa with a glass of wine (and a non-alcoholic drink of choice, because I don’t drink) debating which movies don’t deserve the hate they get.
Myra rolls her eyes with a mock-derisive laugh. “Come on, Coraline’s for kids!”
Jewel tilts her head. “But is it really?”
“Yeah, I still have unpleasant memories.” Mack agrees.
I speak up, “I have to agree; it might be for kids, but that doesn’t make it any less terrifying.”
Jewel gives a pointed nod. “Exactly. It’s a scary movie no matter your age, case closed.”
We later get to sharing some speeches about what we’ve been through this year and what we plan to do next.
“This year hasn’t been one of my best, honestly. I don’t like a lot of the memories I made, but life isn’t always roses and sunshine, and that’s something I’m okay with.” she looks around at all of us and goes on, “At least I can forward to another year with the people I’m closest to.”
Jewel nods. “Agreed. I can’t wait to go skiing with my cousin again. It’s a family tradition, and I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
I turn to face her. “There’s a lot I wouldn’t change either. But you have to remember that eventually, change will come. It won’t always be what you want it to be, but remember that good and evil cannot exist without one another. We should always look to the future, because that’s where some of the best promises lie.”
“True that.”
“I’d say that’s pretty solid advice.” Mack states as she raises a glass. “To a new year.”
“To a new year.”
“May the best be yet to come.”
As we’re all finishing our drinks, I suddenly remember my boyfriend, and grab my phone for a time check. 7:48. He should be home by now.
“Ah, hey guys, I hate to ruin the mood, but I gotta head home. It’s getting a little late.”
Jewel and Myra are the first to respond. “Aw, alright. Come again sometime, yeah?”
“Yeah, I wanna see you again. You’re cool.”
I smile at the compliment as I grab my bag and head for the door. “I’ll see. It’s been fun, guys. You go on without me, alright?”
“Have a good night!”
“See you later!”
“Bye!”
I close the door behind me, and head on my way. I look around before crossing the street, then search for my number. 1306...07...here it is. I knock three times, and the door opens to reveal my only love.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you too. I can’t wait to be in your arms.”
“Well, come on in then, so you can be.” He extends a hand, and I take it. He closes the door behind us, and I take off my shoes.
“I wanna spend some time with you tonight. Why don’t you go put on something comfortable?”
“You’re not planning what I think you are..?”
It takes him a second, then he laughs. “No, no. Well, not unless you want to.”
“Oh, no, I’m good. I’ll be back.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
I head to my room to dress down, and he goes to his. I decide on a pair of pale gray sweats, and tie my hair up in a lazy bun. I hear him leave his room and come into the living room, and go out to meet him. He’s sitting on the couch with a blanket over him, and the TV is on. He turns to look at me fondly.
“There’s the woman I love.”
“You know I love cuddle dates.”
“That I do. Come, join me.” He pats the spot next to him, and I happily take a seat and snuggle up. He opens up YouTube and pulls up my comfort album; just as he does so, it begins to rain. What a funny coincidence. My beloved seems to read my mind, because he smiles too, and pulls me in for a peck on the cheek. The music starts, and we spend the rest of that evening cuddled up listening to each other’s heartbeat. I sigh in contentment.
There’s no place I’d rather be.
#drabble#might make a part 2#don't know yet#bts albums and tracks were mentioned#so i guess that makes this bts related#bts#yes it's a love story#i'm a sucker for romance#sue me#i would call this an x reader#but no names were dropped so...#it's whatever i guess
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Things you said when we were the happiest we ever were
requested by @ivanrahal / ft. Alia DiMarco
I. 2006
The flight to Naples lasts a goddamn eternity.
Well-- it starts with the airbase outside of Kabul, to Tripoli, to Berlin, to Naples. The C-27J that takes him to Tripoli is only a third full, twenty or so men scattered among the seats, some in groups and some split off from the rest. He sits by himself, with a book he can’t recall the name of that he never even tries to crack open. The damn plane rattles so badly that his teeth hurt and his fingers ache from how tightly he’d clenched his jaw, and the way he’d held onto the bottom of his seat like he was afraid that if he let go he would fall out of the back of the damned thing. From Tripoli, he catches a ride into Europe on a C-160 in service with the Luftwaffe, and spends the flight playing charades when the German troops on board realize he hardly speaks a word of German, and even less English, and decide that then is a good time to try and make deep conversation about life, death, sex and what may possibly have been where to get the best cocaine in Munich. A good time is had by all, but he’s glad to make it back to the ground without incident. From there, he flies commercial. The shortest leg of his trip so far, but he’s so close to his destination that he can’t stop fidgeting in the cramped Airbus seat. The Frenchwoman next to him weeps when she watches Blood Diamond, and he tries to keep his eyes fixed to the window.
Every time his eyes flick to her screen, he can hardly keep himself from flinching.
They de-plane without incident. His massive duffle bag wasn’t lost by the airline, and when he meanders out of the baggage area his eyes are on his phone, flicking through his contacts to find her number to let her know he’d landed safely. Battista just happens to glance up, and he sees her standing there next to her ugly as sin 1994 Fiat Uno, arms crossed, grinning from ear to ear.
He hasn’t seen her face in six months-- the realization strikes him like a physical blow to the gut. The phone gets snapped closed and slipped into his pocket, and he steps forward, his own face lighting up. Her golden hair catches the warm setting sun and the flyaways are dyed in shades of pink, orange, purple. Rosy cheeks, soft fuschia mouth, and when she uncrosses her arms he can see she’s wearing one of his shirts. Battista practically runs to her then, the smile splitting his face to match her own, a wild bark of laughter pouring out of him when he drops his bag and lifts her with an arm around her waist, and he spins her, and he kisses her and he kisses her. He kisses her until they are both breathless, and laughing, and he kisses her some more, until the airport police officer starts to eye them like he’s thinking about coming to run them off, and then Battista sets her down and cups her cheeks and kisses her one more time-- one more time on the mouth, one more time on the nose, and on each eyelid.
Alia DiMarco is radiant in the hot summer afternoon, her hair pulled back off her neck and swept by the breeze coming in from the sea. She’s laughing, pulling him closer to the car, and he reaches down to pick up his bag and follows her, throwing it in the back and then climbing into the passenger seat. The windows are already cranked down, and it’s hotter than sin inside the vehicle, because the damn thing is almost old enough to drink and doesn’t have working A/C. When she reaches for the gear shifter to put the car in first, he captures her hand in his own and kisses her knuckles, and she shakes him off with a sharp, ringing laugh. “Are you going to be like this for all of the two weeks you’re here?”
Settling back into the seat and sticking his hand out the window to feel the familiar, hot wash of air flowing through his fingertips, he answers with his own warm smile, something soft at the edges as he watches her profile. The long nose, the jut of her chin, the glass-blue of her eyes flicking from the road, to the mirrors, to him, like she can’t quite believe he’s there next to her in person. “You’ll be so sick of me being in your pocket by the end of it,” Battista promises her, reaching across the center console and tucking her hair behind her ear.
She flashes him another impish smile, all teeth, before turning her attention back to the road. “Probably, but I’ll try to hand you back in one piece anyway.”
His hand settles on the bare skin of her thigh-- she’s wearing shorts. Her skin is unfathomably soft under the rough pads of his fingers. The seats of her car are black leather, and the vehicle is a million degrees. Battista thinks, affectionately, that she might be an insane person. “I can only hope you don’t, my love.”
-
II. 2007
It’s April.
April in Naples is some mixture between biblical, torrential downpours, and unfathomably hot afternoons. Humidity sticks to the insides of his ribs, the nape of his neck, and right under his eyes, where he doesn’t quite manage to sweat. It’s pouring now, but the lack of wind that comes with it means they can leave their windows open, and if he holds very still he imagines he can feel the mist from the impact of the drops on the windowsill settling along the hard lines of his bare back. It makes the skin of his shoulders and arms prickle, but he’s far too lazy to move now, gorging himself on skin-to-skin contact and listening to Alia’s heart pound away where his ear is pressed just under her left breast.
The arm slung across her waist wanders around the expanse of skin he’s explored a million times over, mapping constellations on freckles and moles that are so familiar to him he could point them out with his eyes closed, so familiar to him that he could draw them from memory alone. She’s dozing, one arm wrapped around his shoulders and trailing light fingers over the lean muscle in his arm, the other sprawled against the sheets. He can tell whenever he manages to tickle her, because her fingers twitch minutely, and her chest jumps as her breath hitches.
Battista sits up on his elbow, and trails his hand up her ribcage, over her collarbone, and then presses it to her cheek. Her eyes open into narrow slits, the blue seemingly lit from within. They watch each other for a moment, and Battista’s heart beats wildly, wildly out of control. He’s dizzy, and his cheeks and nose tingle with the blood rushing to them, unable to keep the smile from his face at the thought blooming in his head, and how warm her fingers feel pressed to the knob at the top of his spine.
“Let’s get married,” he says, his heart in his throat.
Her brows furrow, and she reaches across with her other hand to brush her fingers through his hair, smiling faintly when he leans into it with a soft sigh. “Battista Tahan, you are not a very romantic man.”
Not even bothering with the fake outrage, he thinks about climbing to the top of Vesuvius with her earlier in the week, a plain silver ring burning a fucking hole in his pocket. He thinks about how much his palms had been sweating unrelated to the vigorous exercise, and he thinks about how his heart hadn’t left his throat the whole time. He thinks about every single time she’d pointed out a rock formation with amazement, or how her golden hair would bob wildly in its ponytail when she leaped from raised stone to raised stone, holding onto his hand for balance. He thinks about every time she would irritate herself talking about politics, and how hard and breathlessly she’d laughed when they made it up to the top and it had started raining on them, and she’d just pulled him to the dirt and they’d sat there and watched the clouds roll in over the city far below. Here, now, he simply leans forward and kisses her chin, a loud, smacking thing that makes her laugh. “And you are not a very romantic woman,” is his final response, tender and quiet in the scant space between them. “So what do you think?”
Alia sobers, and she trails her fingers from his hair down to his brow, sliding her thumb over the bone and then further down his cheek, pink with the faintest sunburn and the force of his joy. Her tongue is as sharp as ever when she murmurs back, “I’ll marry you when your tour is over. If you think I’m going to be some wailing war widow--” She cuts herself off, then, almost choked up. But she can’t keep the smile off her face, even as her eyes start to water.
He’s absolutely giddy at the agreement, and he leans forward to place a gentle kiss on her lips, this time. And then another, on her cheek, and another at the corner of her eye. There’s no wobble in his voice, just an aching warmth and tenderness he thought he’d forgotten. “I know you would never wail over me, my love.” She’s far too proud, and if he died in a distant land he knows for damn sure she would march over there and drag him out of Death’s grip herself. It’s just another thing that he loves about her. “You’ll marry me when my tour is over.” She laughs, and she pulls him into another kiss. And another. He can’t stop kissing her, and he doesn’t want to.
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My favorite thing is when I see expressions Dante uses that we also have in Swedish (But he of course says it in a longer way) like “nove fiate già appresso lo mio nascimento era tornato lo cielo de la luce quasi a uno medesimo punto quanto a la sua propria girazione” which basically is the same as saying ”när jag var nio jordsnurr” and “morte vilana, di pietà di dolor madre antica” which is like ”döden är sorgens mamma”
#I make very good observations that will be of great use for my exam lol#mine#iii#svenska#italiano#Dante
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