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jade4813 · 4 years ago

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Like Moths to a Flame, Chapter 10

Fandom: North and South

Title: Like Moths to a Flame

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: John/Margaret

Synopsis: “I hope you realize that any foolish passion for you on my part is entirely over.“ Margaret decides to confront John about his unjust judgment of her character, but the two have always been drawn to each other, and things quickly get out of hand. In the aftermath, she agrees to marry him to satisfy propriety, but she cannot forget how ready he was to believe the worst of her. Can love survive without trust, or will the two find a way to work through the misunderstandings that have plagued their relationship from the start?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Though John would never consider time spent with Margaret wasted – nor would he ever regret a single second of it – it did make the subsequent days longer as he strove to find a solution to his financial problem. The debt owed to the bank was a few hundred pounds – a paltry amount compared to what was owed him for orders that his workers had rushed through. He hoped each day for a miracle, that he would receive sufficient outstanding payments to satisfy the bank loan and secure his workers’ payroll, but he waited in vain. The bank’s deadline drew ever nearer, his coffers dwindled, and no miracle loomed on the horizon.

Had he been foolish to refuse Watson’s proposed speculation? If it succeeded, the profit from the venture would clear his debt and secure payroll for months to come. If it failed, however, what little funds he had to pay his people would be lost, with no hope of recovery. He would have left his workers destitute, and he felt he owed them more than to gamble with their livelihoods.

But if it succeeded…

He’d never before understood the siren’s song of speculation, which had led his own father to his death. In the aftermath of the elder Thornton’s self-inflicted demise, John had been forced into a life of poverty and self-deprivation, leaving school to care for his mother and sister and sparing as much money as he could each week to pay his father’s creditors, long after they’d given up any hope of satisfaction.

He’d worked hard, and in the secret recesses of his heart, he’d judged his father harshly for throwing away their fortunes on what amounted to little more than a game of chance. He’d never spoken of his recrimination or his shame aloud, out of consideration for his remaining family’s feelings – though his mother had never been one to mince words when it came to her own judgment, and Fanny had been too young and lacked the sentimental disposition required to be overly protective of either her affection for or her memory of the father she’d lost.

Now, however, he understood the temptation that had lured his father to his ruin, though his own sense of honor and the duty he owed those in his charge had caused him to shy away from the risky venture, no matter how high the potential reward. His refusal had angered Fanny, who had sworn that reward was certain and promised to be considerable, but John knew better than most that speculation was merely that, and not even the wisest of men could guarantee a positive result.

And yet, if it succeeded…

If he’d gambled his mill’s future on the speculation and it turned a profit, his business would be clear of debt. His workers would be paid. He could continue to care for his mother in the manner he had for most of his adult life. He could provide Margaret with the life she deserved, if not the life she’d wanted. And nobody would ever have to know how bad things had been.

John shook his head, running his hands through his hair in a gesture of frustration and despair. No, there was no use in thinking about what might have been. He’d rejected Watson’s offer. He’d refused to engage in speculation, not when the cost of one ill-judged gamble could ruin so many lives. If he’d thrown his hat into the ring and the speculation failed, he’d lose the mill. The house. His workers would be out of jobs and left to starve, if they were unable to find work elsewhere. His mother’s situation would fall to what it had once been, after many years spent in comfort and security. And his wife…

If he’d speculated with his workers’ livelihoods and lost, recklessly subjecting them possible starvation, to the poverty from which he’d once uplifted himself, he wouldn’t be able to look at himself in the mirror without feeling shame. A man who could be so inattentive to his responsibility to others could never hope to deserve Margaret or the love he still wished in his heart might one day be his.

So he applied himself to work, each day seeming longer than the last. His beloved Margaret never chided him for his absence or his neglect, though she always seemed to anticipate the point at which reason was driven to the edge by exhaustion, as she would come to him on those evenings and silently draw him home with her, to sleep by her side. He could not fully confess his fears to her, but neither could he resist her, and his love for her sustained him every bit as much as her tender consideration brought him comfort.

But as the days passed, a nagging sense of doubt grew in his mind, a quiet whisper that warned that Margaret might not be as content as he would wish. Even as his financial apprehensions eclipsed other concerns vying for his attention, he noticed her increasingly troubled expression when she thought him unaware, though the worry lines smoothed from her countenance each time he turned her way. But she never spoke of her concerns, and he – weak, lovesick fool that he was – couldn’t summon the courage to ask, for fear that her preoccupation lay elsewhere. If her distress stemmed from regret, perhaps exacerbated by increasing concerns that he would fail to live up to his promise to provide her comfort and security, his heart would break anew.

Desiring to reassure her of the fidelity of his promise, John was determined to redouble the attention he paid his wife. To that end, he returned home one evening earlier than he typically had of late – the lure of Margaret’s company being far greater than that of the paperwork on his desk – to find her father in their drawing room, the other man having stopped by for a visit. Although slightly disappointed that his more amorous intentions would by necessity be delayed, John always enjoyed Richard Hale’s company and was pleased his calendar was free enough to appreciate it.

His pleasure was only heightened when he saw Margaret’s cheerfulness at the visit. “Mr Bell has invited Father to visit him in Oxford, and I’m encouraging him to go. Don’t you think it’s an excellent idea?” she explained, before turning her attention back to their guest. “It’s been so long since you’ve been to visit, and the weather’s turning warmer, so the roads will be a little easier.”

Mr Hale seemed encouraged by her enthusiasm. “I might go,” he acknowledged. Nodding, as much to himself as to her, he murmured, “Yes, yes. I think I might.”

With that decision seemingly fixed, their conversation turned to other matters for a while, until Richard stood to leave. “I think I will go to Oxford,” he declared, the idea clearly breaking him much joy. John and Margaret wished him well – the latter admonishing him to dress warmly, as there was still a chill in the air – and then he was on his way with their blessings.

Had John known it would be the last time Margaret would share his company, he would have begged the man to stay a while longer. Sadly, prescience was not among his accomplishments.

Although Margaret tried to find contentment in her present circumstances, the things left unsaid between husband and wife preyed upon her thoughts, seemingly increasing her anxiety by the hour. She loved John – more ardently than she ever would have ever supposed – and her silence on that score felt suffocating. She wanted to tell him of her feelings, but questions plagued her mind, sapping away both her contentment and her courage.

She had no illusions that John had come to trust her before taking her hand in marriage. Did he still doubt her integrity? Did he question her faithfulness? Would his opinion of her, once tarnished in his mind, forever carry a shadow of his distrust, even once the truth was known?

Even if she were to put her fears behind her, she couldn’t find the words to share her confession. It seemed impossible to do so without broaching the subject of the scene he had witnessed on the train platform, which had caused him such disgust and brought her so much pain. With so much weighing on his heart already, was it fair of her to upset whatever peace he’d managed to find thus far in their marital harmony?

What if he didn’t believe her? What if he was hurt she hadn’t spoken up before? His anger gave her no cause for alarm, but she couldn’t bear the thought of inflicting additional pain upon him. She would never wish to exact injury upon anyone, him least of all. Not her husband. Not the man she loved. And certainly not now, when his troubles were otherwise so great.

As the weeks passed immediately following her self-revelation, Margaret often found herself on the brink of confessing all to her husband. On each occasion, fear and inconvenient timing silenced her tongue. When the time was right, she promised herself that she would broach the topic of his suspicion and determine whether the trust she so needed to find true happiness in marriage had been regained. If so, she would tell him the truth. And confess to him her love.

In the meantime, she strove to provide him with such contentment, peace, and comfort as was within her power to give. She gave such assistance at the mill as she was able during the day and let her love wash over him at night, her body betraying the secrets of her heart, even if her lips could not. She felt his overwhelming weariness when they made love, pressing her mouth against the deep lines in his brow and offered him her strength when he sagged against her, his cheek pressed against her shoulder. In the aftermath of their coupling, he would fall asleep in her arms, the steady rise and fall of his chest and rhythmic beat of his heart soothing her own cares.

They had been married long enough for Margaret to grow accustomed to the idea but not long enough to overcome the full measure of her shyness – engrained in her from the time she was a child – at her husband viewing her nakedness when she awoke early one morning to see John standing before the fire, preparing his ablutions for the day ahead. He was stripped to the waist, his skin gleaming in the faint light. The fire in the grate was newly lit, its illumination weak and almost begrudging, but it was bright enough for her to see the ripple of muscles beneath his skin as he bent to splash cold water upon his face. She found herself entranced by the solid cord of muscle in his stomach and arms, the play of light and shadow against his upon his bare skin.

Though she doubted he would consider it a compliment, looking at him like this, she could only think how beautiful he was to her. How cherished. He stole her heart and took her breath away.

The sight of him drew her out of bed, the floor cold beneath her bare feet as she crossed the room, resting her hand gently upon his lower back as he straightened. He turned to face her, beads of moisture trailing down his face, and she placed her hand over his, gently tugging the towel from his grasp. He watched in silence as she tossed it aside and didn’t protest when she pressed her free hand against his chest and gave it a firm push, leading him into a nearby chair.

John didn’t say a word as he lowered himself into the seat, but his gaze missed nothing as she cast a critical eye upon the implements he’d laid out beside his washbowl. The shaving razor was open, its blade gleaming, already sharpened upon the strop in preparation for the task at hand. His soap had also already been prepared, the applicator brush resting nearby.

Margaret picking up the brush and mug of shaving soap, working up a lather as she turned back to her husband. His gaze had fallen to her hips, and she realized with a start that, standing before the fire as she was, the outline of her body would be visible through the thin fabric of her nightgown. The thought made her flush, but she feigned ignorance of the view she presented, even as she showed her body off to its best advantage, bending over him to lather his cheeks and chin.

John reached for her, bracing her hips in his palms. His hands were still damp from his morning wash, moistening the fabric of her dress. She shivered, biting back a soft moan of longing, when he pulled her forward until she straddled his chair, her thighs brushing the coarse fabric of his trousers. Unwilling to allow him to distract her from her purpose, she forced her attention to the task at hand, casting a critical eye upon his face to ensure the lather was sufficiently distributed. Then she reached for the razor, her hand trembling slightly as she lifted it to his cheek.

What had seemed like a good idea when she’d started was much more daunting now, when she held the sharpened razor in her hand and prepared to apply it to his bare skin. What if she made a mistake? What if she slipped and injured him? She hesitated, preparing to draw away, but he reached up and wrapped his hand around her own. His eyes were trusting, his gaze warm, as he drew the razor toward his cheek, adjusting the exact angle of the blade before pressing it gently against his skin. Then he dropped his hand, putting his fate entirely in her hands.

Margaret sucked in a sharp breath and narrowed her eyes, focusing the entirety of her attention upon the blade as she scraped it gently against his skin, breathing out a heavy sigh of relief when she managed her first pass without causing injury. Feeling more confident, she applied the blade again, her motions slow and cautious. As she worked, the back of her neck grew damp from the warmth of her fire, and the caress of John’s breath fanned her face as she leaned forward, intent upon her task. She could feel his gaze upon her, but it wasn’t distrust in his eyes. It was desire. Her answering need nearly overwhelmed her, and she required a moment to recollect her composure before she could continue.

With one side completed, John adjusted the angle of his head so that she could complete the job. Her heart pounded when she felt his hands slide under the hem of her nightdress, teasing the soft, sensitive skin of her thighs, and she sucked in an unsteady breath.

As she pulled the razor away, he slipped his fingers inside her, stroking her gently. Her head fell back with a moan, but she strove to gather her wits and regain control. Bracing her free hand on his shoulder, she cast an accusatory glance at his face, only to receive an unrepentant smile in return. However, the consciousness of his own well-being was such that he returned his hands to her hip when she wiped the lather off the blade, lifting it to continue her task.

Margaret’s heart pounded as she slid the razor along the curve of his jaw, and he tilted his head back to allow her greater access to his neck. Her efforts were perhaps not as clean as his would have been, but he didn’t seem to mind. When she finished her last pass, she grabbed a damp towel to wipe away the rest of the lather, but John gently tugged the blade from her hand, letting it fall to the floor. Then his mouth was upon her, teasing the bare flesh above the neck of her nightgown.

She opened her mouth to sigh his name, but the sound was captured by his lips as he pulled her firmly against him, pressing her against his hardness. Grabbing the bottom of her nightgown, he lifted it over her head and tossed it aside, and even in the increasing warmth of the room, she shuddered as she was bared before him. John didn’t seem to find anything amiss, however, as his attention was captivated by her smooth perfection.

Lifting his hand to cup her breast, Margaret found herself enthralled as she always was by his caress. The calluses on his palms were rough against her sensitive skin, but his touch was far from unpleasant. Her head fell back, exposing the curve of her neck, as he brushed a thumb against her aureole until her nipple beaded under his palm.

Her hands had fallen on his shoulders, and she gave in to the temptation to trail her fingertips down his chest, tracing the curve of muscle and bone. She felt first the rapid beat of his heart, then the muscles of his stomach shudder as he sucked in a sharp breath, and knew he wasn’t unaffected by her touch. In the light cast by the fire and the soft sunrise, his eyes were dark and filled with need. She wove her fingers into his hair, pressing him to her, as he bowed his head and sucked her breast into his mouth, teasing her with his tongue. She could feel the strength in his hands when he grasped her hips, guiding her motions as she rocked against him.

Only one layer of fabric separated their bodies, causing Margaret no end of frustration. Pressing her hands against his chest, she lifted off him far enough to reach for the buttons of his trousers. In her haste and her desire, her fingers were clumsy and awkward. Their hands tangled together when he attempted to assist her, causing her to laugh, the sound soft and strained.

She had only just managed to pull him free when he grabbed her thighs and pulled her into his lap once more, pausing only long enough to carefully guide himself inside of her. Margaret gasped as she sank onto him, her response inspired as much by the ominous creaking of the chair beneath them as the sudden fullness of his thrust. Anxious about the unsteadiness of their perch, she tightened her thighs around him and wrapped her arms around his neck, slowly rolling her hips against his.

John tucked his head against the curve of her neck, tickling her with the faint traces of stubble she’d overlooked in her earlier ministrations. His mouth scraped against her skin, eliciting a soft moan, while his hands explored her body, lingering in every spot which had previously brought her pleasure. He kissed the curve of her ear, her cheek, her chin, and Margaret rewarded his efforts with another slow roll of her hips.

Once again, she wrestled with the temptation to speak of her feelings, but this was hardly the time to do so. Her confession – or, rather, confessions, as she believed she had identified a multitude that must be made by now – deserved more consideration than a rashly uttered declaration in the midst of lovemaking. They also required more deliberation than to be hastily blurted over breakfast, or on the way out the door to attend to more pressing concerns and outstanding appointments.

Still, her secret feelings nearly overwhelmed her, swelling within her breast until she couldn't speak for love of him. Leaning back slightly, she wrapped one hand behind his neck to hold him in place as her gaze swept over the face that had engraved itself upon her heart. Their eyes met, and she found she couldn’t tear her gaze away, entranced as she was by the play of emotions upon his face and in his eyes…

Once again, she marveled that she ever could have thought him to be cold and cruel, that she ever could have mistaken his hardness for lack of feeling. Though his features were under his command, frequently schooled into either an impassive mask or a glower of disdain, his eyes betrayed him. Even when he had accused her of impropriety, when he’d told her his passion for her had ended, the chill of his words hadn’t wounded her half so much as that which lay behind those blue eyes, which revealed much, but also saw more than she wished.

Margaret was overwhelmed by a sudden wave of fear at what he might comprehend of her own feelings. In an act of self-preservation, she tore her gaze away, pressing her cheek against the curve of his shoulder as he lifted his hips, plunging inside her.

As she met each powerful thrust with a roll of her hips, Margaret clung to her husband, wishing for nothing more than to prolong this interlude. She felt the muscles beneath her tense and knew he was nearing completion, so she increased the rhythm of her hips, pressing her mouth against his neck to taste the saltiness of his skin as his muscles grew taut and he poured himself inside her. The momentarily respite didn’t last long, however, as he cupped one hand behind her head, holding her against him as he slid the other between her legs, stroking her deftly until wave upon wave of pleasure crashed over her and she found her own release.

She collapsed against him, spent and unwilling to let him go, although she knew she couldn’t hold him in this moment forever. The harsh rasp of their breathing filled her ears, but as their hearts slowed and breathing steadied, the room grew quiet, save for the soft crackle of the fire in the grate. When she could put off the inevitable no longer, she lifted her head off John’s shoulder, though she wasn’t yet able to meet his eyes, still uncertain of what her own would reveal.

“Margaret?” His voice was soft and uncertain, and her heart wrenched at the aching vulnerability it betrayed. She was unequal to the task of giving voice to her inner turmoil, so she stared at his lips as she stroked her fingers along the side of his face. Cupped his cheeks in her palms, pressed her mouth against his, drawing his tongue inside her parted lips. In unspoken reassurance, she deepened the embrace until she felt his lingering tension ebb away. When the kiss ended, she drew back to meet his eyes, confident that her own would no longer divulge her secrets.

Climbing off his lap, Margaret rushed to retrieve her nightgown from the floor, quickly pulling it on before turning her attention back to her husband. In the early morning light, Margaret was forced to acknowledge that she made for an imperfect barber, more than one small patch of stubble having escaped her blade, but John issued no complaint. Instead, he used a towel to wipe away what remnants of shaving soap remained, though Margaret noticed that a fair amount had transferred to her person.

Once he had dried his face with a towel, he began to toss it beside the bowl when Margaret grabbed his hand, staying his motion. There, on the bright white fabric, was a small red stain, a sign she had not been as careful with the razor as she had wished. Stretching onto her toes, she examined his skin and noticed the tiniest nick just below his right ear.

“I’m sorry,” she said, speaking as much for her continued silence as the injury she had inflicted upon him.

Touching a finger to the wound, he shook his head. “It’s not deep. It’ll heal soon enough.” He cast a glance at the window, and Margaret knew his mind was turning toward the mill, to the work left undone and the hours that lay ahead of him. Longing to steal just a few more precious moments with him, she helped him to dress, asserting the privilege of such intimacy that only a wife could claim.

The hour was growing late, and Margaret knew her husband was eager to begin his day, but still he hesitated, brushing a lock of hair off her cheek once she had finished straightening his cravat. “Margaret—” he began, a line of worry creasing the skin between his brows, “Forgive me for pressing, but you seem troubled. If something is bothering you, you can confide in me.”

Her heart twisted at the understanding that he had seen more than she’d wished, recognizing the fact of her preoccupation, although he did not yet understand the cause. Pulling him to her, she pressed a kiss against that telltale evidence of his concern. “It’s nothing,” she attempted, though she didn’t need to see his face to anticipate his answering skepticism. Taking his hands in hers, she remarked, “It’s getting late, and work is more important. I don’t want to keep you any longer than I already have.”

John wasn’t willing to be so easily deterred, tightening his hold on her hands. “My work may be necessary, but there is nothing in the world more important to me than you.”

His words gave her hope, and she smiled at him with all the sweetness she felt in her heart. “Very well, but it’s not – I’m not troubled, precisely, but – do you think we could steal some time alone together this evening? There are some matters we should discuss.”

With obvious reluctance at the delay, he agreed, capturing her lips in one more kiss before heading out the door. Little did either of them know that a visit from Mr Bell later that same day would bring news that would drive all other concerns from her mind. For a while, at least.

#like moths to a flame #margaret hale #john thornton #north and south #john x margaret #fanfiction #my fanfiction

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thewosopost · 5 years ago

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International Fans vs The NWSL

It is no secret that the recognition around women's football skyrocketed after the 2019 world cup, especially in the US. As a result of this, match viewership increased by 47%, as reported by the Washington Post. A few weeks after the World Cup, a deal was made between ESPN and the NWSL to air regular season games and three play-off games. This partnership started towards the end of the 2019 regular season without any warning to international fans. This left the international fans dumbfounded, to say the least, as there is now no conventional way for them to view the matches and support their favourite teams and players. The fact that the NWSL has yet to address the reasoning behind them leaving out international fans, is truly embarrassing.

I caught up with Instagram user @flemingotobin to discuss this issue further. He has been one of the people to speak about this issue and has constructed a long letter, which he has sent directly to the NWSL. He is yet to receive their reply.

First of all, what drove you to write a letter directed to the NWSL about this issue?

I’ve passionately supported the Portland Thorns since I discovered the NWSL and that has led me to wake up for games at crazy times like 3, 4, or even 5 am. I believe that this sort of commitment should be rewarded, not punished. I know that I am not the only person who has shown this type of commitment to the players and the teams and I also know that thousands of people are in the same boat as me. I want to do something about it so that the fans who matter just as much as domestic fans get the recognition and experience they deserve.

How do you feel about not getting any precautions about this deal and for it to happen in the middle of a regular season?

Yeah I mean, it came totally out of the blue and they didn't even tell us the consequences for international fans, they ignored it and only mentioned the benefits for domestic fans. Then, suddenly, when trying to watch the game it says it’s not available anymore and to consult the FAQ’s. The link to the FAQ’s was broken and overall the communication was so poor. There have been no efforts to make the experience for international fans any better or to make the transition smooth and easy.

So is there no way for fans to watch the NWSL games?

International fans now have to pay for ESPN because they have the rights to all the games. Whereas, in America, occasional games are on the free to watch - Yahoo Sports platform. The cost of this is £9.99 per month which would be fine if ESPN was the main service provider outside of America, but it isn't. No one outside of the US uses ESPN, therefore, paying this amount is ridiculous and nearly none of the international fans are willing to pay this. The fact that the majority of games are free in America but we have to pay for all of them on a service we would only use for the NWSL and nothing else is not acceptable and not advancing the league in a forward direction.

Do you find it contradicting when the NWSL say they want to expand the league and gain global recognition yet they agree to such a deal straight after? Especially, at a time where women's football is at its utmost viewership?

I can understand their reasoning. Getting a deal with such a big domestic sports provider for the first time is huge for the league. I am sure domestic viewing figures have rocketed since. However, in terms of global reach and global recognition, they have made a catastrophic mistake. So soon after a very successful world cup and now that women's football is growing at the rate that it is, makes sense to capitalise on this new global audience. However, instead they have gone backwards and have made long existing international fans feel out of touch with the league and even their own team. I guarantee that if they released the figures for international viewings, they would be down big time and I also know for a fact that the players want to be watched and supported globally. Therefore, there is a major contradiction and one that makes no sense at all.

Are you aware of how American fans feel about this?

I've spoken to numerous fans within this community, both American and international, I've received some really appreciated help from American fans, one in particular, to spread the message to the players - who are now aware of the situation. As for international fans, the amount of messages and people also acknowledging the problem is significant. What we really need is to raise awareness to the league that this is a problem that the fans are passionate about and we need to unite to send a clear message to the NWSL that they cannot treat a significant proportion of their fanbase in such a disrespectful way. Just because we can't go to games and be there in the crowd cheering for our team shouldn't make our support any less important or any less of a priority. It's time the NWSL listened to the voices of the fans and acted.

How can American fans help? How can international fans help?

Whenever I share about the issue, if fans can repost it and tag the NWSL instagram account, at some point they have to acknowledge it. Also if every international fan was to spend just two minutes writing an email to the NWSL about it, it would go a long way to showing how important this issue is. If anyone wants to direct message me, I can share my email for them as a template. Anything I can do to make it easier for us to all unite and confront this issue I will do with my utmost ability.

Lastly, you stated that the players are now aware of this issue, can you elaborate on that please?

I'd rather not go too close into the details because I've put a lot of trust in a friend and don't want to put them on the line. But, Tobin Heath and Meghan Klingenberg have been informed about the problem by them. Christen Press saw my story and direct message recently, and re-inc. saw my story. I have heard Megan Rapinoe is also aware of the situation as a result of this too. It is crazy that I discovered that the players had no idea they had lost pretty much their entire global audience. This shows just how poorly the NWSL have handled the situation and how little transparency there is from the league. It's one thing to have the problem but to consistently fail to acknowledge or address the problem is another thing entirely.

In conclusion, I strongly urge the NWSL to at least give an explanation as to why this issue erupted in the first place. With that, we would like to be informed if there are any plans for this to change. If not, why are they against global viewership? What is the difference between domestic and international fans? Why have they ignored the countless emails and comments asking for an explanation? These are all questions that remain open and I hope we can work together to fix this issue.

Since the interview, I sent an email to the NWSL players association and received a response almost immediately from Yael Averbuch. She was extremely grateful for the raising of this issue and seems fully committed to helping us resolve it. She forwarded my original email to Amanda Duffy (NWSL president) and hopefully we will see some progress on this issue. I don't expect anything to happen until the off-season but we can hope that by next season something will be put in place for international fans to get what they rightfully deserve.

Writer: Toby @ oosa.wnt on insta @ oosawnt on Twitter.

Editor: Sarah @ damn.danvers on insta and @ damn_danvers on Twitter

#woso #womens soccer #nwsl #uswnt #espn

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wallflower-tarot · 4 years ago

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𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍,

Welcome to wallflower-tarot! Here you’ll find tarot posts and predictions and messages for the signs and, last but not least, paid and free readings!

Here are the guidelines to the paid readings:

🌼 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛-𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜

• The price list is right above.

• All readings will take place in my DMs, and you can receive them via audio files or written.

• The payment must be made via Paypal or via my ko-fi.

Here are a few explanations about each reading:

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 - $𝟻.𝟻𝟻/$𝟷𝟸.𝟷𝟸

On this kind of reading, I’ll give you insight about whichever theme(s) you ask me about. When I perform this reading, I don’t do a spread – I ask you what you want clarity about, or what you want to know, and I’ll pull the cards according to your needs. You can receive 5 cards for $5.55 or 10 cards for $9.99.

𝚀𝚞𝚎��𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 - $𝟸.��𝟸/$𝟹.𝟹𝟹/$𝟽.𝟽𝟽

I think these are pretty self explanatory, right? You give the questions – which can be one, three or five – and I’ll pull as many cards as I need to answer to them properly.

𝙿𝚊𝚜𝚝, 𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝙵𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 - $𝟺.𝟺𝟺

On this one, I’ll perform a three-card spread to check the energies of whatever situation you ask me about in the past, present and future. The fourth card will be the overall energy of the matter or an advice – it’s up yo you.

𝙳𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 - $𝟼.𝟼𝟼

If you had a dream and you’re dying to know the meaning behind it, that’s your reading! Here I’ll pull cards to seek what the dream was trying to tell you, or, if you prefer, I can pull cards about the elements and symbols you dreamed about.

𝚈𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚛 𝙽𝚘 - $𝟸.𝟸𝟸

I’ll pull one card to answer to your question – the answers might be yes or no, as you can see – and another card to check the overall energy of the situation.

𝙰𝚍𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚎 - $𝟺.𝟺𝟺

Here, you ask me for advice about a specific situation or general advice, and I’ll pull three cards to help you out. It can be a decision-making spread if you want it to.

𝚆𝚎𝚎𝚔 𝚘𝚛 𝙼𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 - $𝟾.𝟾𝟾/$𝟷𝟸.𝟷𝟸

If you’re about to enter an important week or month of your life, this is the reading for you. You can pick the themes, such as love, career, etc. or you can ask me about a specific topic and I’ll see how it will unroll throughout the week/month. In the week prediction, you can choose to get one card for each day of the week instead of a general prediction.

𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 - 𝚂𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚎𝚜 - $𝟼.𝟼𝟼

On this reading, I’ll give you clarity about your love life, whether you want to know what’s in store for you love wise or if you’re in the early stages of dealing with someone.

𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 - 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚜 - $𝟾.𝟾𝟾

On this reading, I’ll give you insight about your relationship or situationship with someone else. I can pull cards about the relationship itself or about a specific issue that’s happening at the moment.

🌼 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚛 🌼

1-) I do not perform readings on medical and legal themes, since, according to my beliefs, tarot cannot replace professional counselling. Please, mind as well that I can refuse to perform a reading in regards themes I don’t feel comfortable with.

2-) Payment must happen through my Paypal or ko-fi. Please, do not pay me until I have talked to you and accepted to read for you. When the payment is done, please send me a screenshot that proves it was, indeed, done. Expect a response from me in 24 hours - be patient.

3-) Tarot can be a great tool to have a deep insight on whatever issues you are dealing with; however, it does not take your free-will from you, meaning that you have the right to act the way you would like to after receiving the reading, not putting the weight of your decisions under the reading.

4-) Tarot does not predict the future: it gives you insight about your situation considering the current energy around it, and gives you probable outcomes, meaning that no reading should be taken as the absolute truth.

5-) All Tarot readings given by me are for entertainment purposes only, and no guarantee can be given as to the accuracy of a reading.

6-) Refunds will not be accepted.

#tarot #tarot reading #divination #paid tarot reading #the perks of being a wallflower #wallflower #wallflower-tarot

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dcubang · 4 years ago

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Third Round of Claims Open!

Hello! Based on feedback, I’ve decided to open a third round of claims! For the third round, artists/fanworkers are free to claim as many stories as they are reasonably sure they can finish!

The third round of claims is optional. Don’t want to claim another story, or don’t feel like you’ll be able to create something for multiple stories? You don’t need to claim! I would much rather you focus on creating something awesome for one story, rather than being stressed out trying to create something for multiple stories. Know your limits and don’t overburden yourself!

Each story can be claimed an additional two times. That means there is a potential total of 3 artists per story, and a minimum of 1 artist per story. While unlikely, it would be pretty hectic and stressful for an author to have to coordinate with 16 artists on their story! That’s why there is a limit, and to encourage people to spread the art around to other stories. =D

Stories are guaranteed only one artist each. I cannot guarantee that every single story will get a second artist. Please be understanding of this!

The third round of claims will close Sunday, July 19th 23:59 MDT, when all fanworker sign-ups will be closed. (This is a slight extension compared to the schedule.)

How to Make Multiple Claims:

--- Stories are claimed on a first come, first served basis.

--- Fill out this Google Form right here

--- A matching email will go out to both the artist and the author containing each other’s contact information after a claim is successful. You should receive this email no later than 72 hours after I have confirmed the claim. If you don't get this match up email, please get in contact with me ASAP so that artists and authors can get to work quickly!

Every story listed here is not guaranteed a second or third artist/fanworker! I can only guarantee one artist/fanworker per story.

Summaries after the Read More

2020 Summaries

1 Title: Green (may be renamed) Word Count: 9961 Genre: Fandom/Universe: Batman - All Media Types Characters/Pairings: Damian Wayne, Tim Drake, Jason Todd - Tim Drake/Jason Todd/Damian Wayne, Tim Drake/Damian Wayne, Tim Drake/Jason Todd, Jason Todd/Damian Wayne, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent (background), Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne (background) Warnings: Dubcon, non-consensual drug use Rating: Explicit Summary: Jason and Tim agree to coach Damian through trying weed for the first time. All is going well, until they realise they’ve been dealt Ivy-brand weed and inadvertently been dosed with sex pollen. Obviously, a threesome ensues.

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2 Title: Love and Other Four-Letter Words Word Count: 10.4k Genre: Angsty Romance Fandom/Universe: Green Lantern, Green Arrow, Birds of Prey Characters/Pairings: Hal Jordan / Dinah Lance / Oliver Queen Warnings: Angst (happy ending), violence, gun violence, drinking, threesome, polyamory, open marriage, emotional infidelity, swearing, depression, self-loathing, nasty past breakup Rating: E Summary: After yet another breakup with Carol, Hal and Ollie find themselves on a road trip across America. Along the way, Hal starts to realize he’s feeling a bit more than friendship for his best friend. The days pass, and the two grow closer, but all too soon the trip must come to an end. On Ollie’s insistence, Hal agrees to stay with him and Dinah in their Star City home. He easily falls into routine with them, but living under the same roof has caused his feelings to multiply tenfold. After a rejected kiss in the middle of the night, Hal has to finally figure out what it is he wants. Dinah, caught in the middle of the two, is forced to confront her own feelings on the situation, eventually making her thoughts known. After a mission turned sour and a near-miss, the three grow closer still, eventually developing a relationship with each other. The story is entirely in Hal’s POV and there is quite a fair bit of self-hatred.

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3 Title: The sky's gonna hurt when it falls Word Count: 12k Genre: Drama, Angst, "Romance" Fandom/Universe: Nightwing (comics), Batman (All Media Types), Heathers (All Media Types) Characters/Pairings: Jason Todd/Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson & Barbara Gordon, Dick Grayson & Catalina Flores. Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Catalina Flores, Harley Quinn, Crystal Frost, Barbara Gordon, Roman Sionis, Jack Napier. Warnings: graphic violence, suicide, bullying, violence in schools, underage drinking, parental neglect, homophobia, drug use, major character death, threats of non-con, underage sex Rating: M Summary: All Dick Grayson ever wanted to make Gotham High School a better place. So when queen bee Catalina invites him to be part of the most powerful and ruthless clique in school, he jumps at the chance to accept her invitation---after all, it's easy to change the system when you're the one making the rules. Things get complicated after the arrival of the dangerous new kid, JT, who urges Dick to bite the bullet and abandon high school politics before it's too late. But Dick can't help but feel that JT has another plan for the bullet... AKA the Heathers/Jaydick crossover no one asked for. This work is set in 1989 and contains excessive use of 80s slang. Like the movie and musical, themes of violence, suicide, homophobia, and bullying are present throughout. Situations of dubious consent and threats of non-con are mentioned but not in detail.

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4 Title: The Ghosts of Robins Past Word Count: 9,399 Genre: Action, casefic, drama, canon divergence Fandom/Universe: Batman Characters/Pairings: Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake, Alfred Pennyworth, Jack Drake, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd. Jason Todd/Dick Grayson Warnings: Kidnapping, mentions of torture Rating: PG-13 Summary: Bruce never planned or wanted to take on a third Robin. Dick seemingly vanished off the face of the earth at fourteen and Jason was murdered at fifteen. Thirteen-year-old Tim Drake came into his life while he grieved for Jason, insisting Bruce needed a Robin to keep him balanced. Against his better judgment, he accepted and began training Tim. Now, at fourteen, Tim’s more than earned the mantle of Robin and his place at Bruce’s side. But did Bruce make a terrible mistake in accepting him? If something should happen to Tim, could he handle another loss? Bruce hopes he won’t have to answer that question. Soon he has a new case on his hands. People are being killed with gold tipped knives with owl symbols on their hilts. Bruce believes the killer is mimicking the Court of Owls to scare Gothamites while Tim believes a Talon is responsible. Dismissing the claim, Bruce continues to fight Gotham’s crime while doing his best to keep Tim safe. Even the best intentions fail. After a wrist injury prompts Bruce to send Tim home early, Bruce is horrified to receive a call from Jack the next morning saying Tim is missing. Try as they might neither man can find Tim. And Tim at last discovers what happens to the long lost Dick Grayson: he was abducted by the Court of Owls and trained to be a Talon along with the resurrected Jason Todd. Now, they have their eyes set on him.

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5 Title: Cats and Devil Bats Word Count: ~5,900 Genre: Romance, Supernatural, Action Fandom/Universe: Batman (comics) Characters/Pairings: Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne Warnings: Noncon, graphic violence Rating: NC-17 Summary: Batman is a violent vigilante who stalks and kills criminals. When Catwoman finally runs into him, she fully expects to die. But she doesn’t. In fact, he seems to want something else entirely from her. Meanwhile, Selina Kyle meets the enigmatic and very wealthy Bruce Wayne and the two begin a relationship. What happens when their two lives finally cross? And what’s all this about a Bat demon anyway? Everything takes place in Gotham: on rooftops, Bruce Wayne’s penthouse, Selina Kyle’s apartment, Wayne Manor, and the caves beneath it. The noncon is Batman/Catwoman and occurs throughout. It’s not 100% handled well by either of them. Relatively graphic violence in the later chapters, but nothing permanent.

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6 Title: What I Know Now (subject to change) Word Count: 9k written, maybe 12k total Genre: Angst, fluff, adventure Fandom/Universe: DC Comics or Young Justice Characters/Pairings: Jason Todd/Dick Grayson, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne Warnings: None Rating: PG, T Summary: Set in a YJ timeline where Jason and Dick are only two years apart, Dick falls in love with Jason when they're younger only to be devastated when he dies. And although Jason comes back to life as normal, he instead stays with the League and becomes a brother figure to Damian. Eventually Damian is sent to live with his father, and as his new family begins to grow on him, he begins to tell them more and more of "Akhi," who sounds achingly familiar to Dick. This story is set mostly in Gotham, with a few scenes in Nanda Parbat in the middle when Jason and Damian are with the League. No major warnings besides the Jason/Dick relationship if that bothers you. Some swearing and descriptions of Jason's death and resurrection, but it is not in explicit detail.

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7 Title: To the Fairest Word Count: 18,000 written Genre: Mystery Fandom/Universe: Batman (comics) Characters/Pairings: Bruce Wayne/Zatanna, Bruce Wayne, Zatanna Zatara, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Kara Zor-El Warnings: canon level violence Rating: Teen Summary: The Queen of Fables has another tale to tell… In this thrilling mystery Zatanna, the Mistress of Magic, wow’s audiences while solving crimes with the help of her new sidekick: Batman. Co starring in this mystical mystery are the youngest world's finest trio: Robin, Robin, and Supergirl. Will they be able to return a Talon to his nest or will birds fly? Join us in Gotham city, Metropolis, a witch's sales outlet, and a creepy shake filled with sentient vines. No warnings need apply.

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8 Title: we could put some roots down Word Count: 14378 Genre: Fluff, Romance, Drama Fandom/Universe: DCU (pre-New-52), Nightwing, Deathstroke Characters/Pairings: Slade Wilson/Dick Grayson, Batam Warnings: family drama, Bruce Wayne’s A+ Parenting, mention of Catalina Flores Rating: PG-13/Teen Summary: A set of multiple vignettes that center on Dick and Slade as they interact with the other members of the Batfam as Tim and Bruce come home to act as a catalyst of change. Dick grapples with what Bruce’s return means for his time as Batman while Jason teases that his relationship with Slade might be moving to the next stage. Dick and Tim finally get closure and the ability to clear the air between them while engaging in a bit of brotherly bonding and teasing. As always, Alfred holds all the answers. The story takes place mainly on the grounds of Wayne Manor, in the Bat Cave, or inside the Manor itself. The timeframe of the story takes place over the course of a few weeks to a month.

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9 Title: Scarlet Tears Word Count: 12,857 Genre: Action/Adventure Fandom/Universe: The Flash Characters/Pairings: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart Warnings: mpreg Rating: Explicit Summary: Leonard Snart decided to take a break from the Legends, with Mick in tow. They head back to Central City, only to find Team Flash in a bit of trouble…well not the team just Barry. A young Meta causes trouble with her power exactly what is her deal?

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10 Title: The Date (or The Bargain, haven’t decided yet) Word Count: 6,040 Genre: drama, hurt/comfort Fandom/Universe: Batman, Red Robin, Ra’s al Ghul/League of Assassins Characters/Pairings: Tim Drake, Slade Wilson, Ra’s al Ghul, Kon-El/Conner Kent, Bruce Wayne. Ra’s/Tim pairing Warnings: Kidnapping Rating: PG Summary: After a long and exhausting week all Tim looks forward to is catching up on his sleep. Much to his surprise he wakes up not in his comfortable bed but handcuffed to a seat aboard Slade Wilson’s private jet. He soon discovers that Ra’s al Ghul paid Slade to kidnap him and deliver him into Ra’s’ care. Angry, Tim’s thinking of his escape when Ra’s presents him with a deal: if a member of his family contacts him in one week, Ra’s will leave Tim alone for six months. Tim accepts the deal. As days pass with radio silence from the Bats, Tim has to face the truth about how all of them have grown apart and they’ve done little to draw him back in. Is he better off staying with Ra’s despite their vastly different morals? Or does Bruce deserve a chance to prove himself?

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11 Title: When You Move, I Move Word Count: 9150 Genre: Fantasy, Action/Adventure Fandom/Universe: Batman, Nightwing, Red Hood and the Outlaws Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Dick Grayson/Catalina Flores, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne Warnings: Non-Con/Dub-Con (non-graphic) Rating: R Summary: Despite having been in love with one another since they were children, Crown Prince Richard and Dragon Slayer Jason are faced with the fact that they are bound by duty and law to never marry. King Bruce manages to come up with a plan that would allow the pair to remain close and for Richard to fulfill his duty as the future king. He proposes a marriage of convenience to a woman, Catalina of House Flores, who is on the brink of permanent maidenhood after having been passed over by too many men in the past. And though she was aware that the future king would never love her, Catalina grows bitter and jealous over the love between the two men and the love her and Richard’s son shares with that man. So she calls upon the help of a crone to curse both men to live this life and all future lives close to one another but never allowing them to be together. And though the crone grants the curse she places a contingency: if one of them were to die before their 18th birthday then the curse would be lifted and they would be reunited to share the love they have been denied. When Dick and Jason come into contact with the god Fate in their current life, the pair are made aware of what had been stolen from them decades in the past and shown that because of Jason’s untimely death at the age of 15, the curse has been lifted. And Jason is finally given the answer as to why he was awoken in his grave all those years prior. With the truth laid out before them, the pair must figure out what it means for them in this lifetime and all future ones.

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12 Title: The Sorrows Of Healing Word Count: 18k of 20-22k written Genre: Slice Of Life, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Character-centric Fandom/Universe: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), AU from Battle of the Cowl Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson & Tim Drake, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Alfred Pennyworth - Alfred Pennyworth, Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne, Tim Drake Warnings: Off-Screen Character Death, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts and Intentions, Racism, Past/Referenced Child Abuse, Hospitals and Therapy Rating: M Summary: It was Dick who had taken up the Cowl after Bruce had died. It was Dick who had become Batman, taking Damian, Tim, and Alfred with him to the penthouse for a fresh start. But things could never be that easy. All of them were haunted by sorrow: Tim not capable of believing that his second father was gone as well, Dick almost breaking under the pressure of standing tall in the face of a crisis, Damian uncomfortable and lost in these unfamiliar waters he was forced to navigate, and Alfred mourning yet another child. In a world in which Bruce actually died, becoming a family again is harder than some might think. In the midst of fights, the racist white Gotham High Society, and Tim, who fled the nest in a last attempt to resurrect something that no longer exists, it is hard to find hope, and yet all of them somehow manage to do so anyways. The story mostly takes place in their Gotham City penthouse, a ballroom, a Baghdad hospital room, and the graveyard. This is a story of healing - but also about the growing pains along the way - so be aware that Tim and Dick deal with depression (Tim with suicidal thoughts and intentions as well), that Damian and Dick face racism, that Damian's childhood will be referenced as the unpretty mess that is was, and that Bruce will not return. His children will have to learn how to fly on their own.

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13 Title: since you’ve been gone (I can breathe for the first time) Word Count: 9,134 Genre: whump, hurt/comfort Fandom/Universe: Batfamily comics (mostly preboot canon with occasional elements of New 52 & Reboot canons) Characters/Pairings: Tim Drake, Batfamily, implied one-sided Tim Drake/Ra’s al-Ghul Warnings: Body horror, depression, child abuse, body modification (consensual and non-consensual), terminal illness, child death, substance abuse (harmful self-medication). Rating: Mature Summary: A study of Tim Drake and his experiences with Hanahaki (specifically, familial Hanahaki), mostly following comics canon with a few changes. Starts when Tim is a child (pre-Robin). He befriends the Gotham Sirens after seeking out Poison Ivy to obtain a growth stopper for his Hanahaki, and later befriends Jason-as-Robin. After Jason’s death and Tim’s parents find out about his Hanahaki, Tim seeks out Batman and becomes Robin. Eventually, after he starts spending time with Bruce, his Hanahaki fades. Years later, following the events of Red Robin and Tim’s distancing from the family, it returns with a vengeance. This story is primarily set in Gotham (at Wayne and Drake manors and the Batcave in particular), with scenes in Iceland (including a glacier) and other locations around the world. Being a Hanahaki fic, the story does contain quite a bit of body horror and terminal illness. The depression occurs throughout due to the Hanahaki & events of Red Robin, as does the body modification (in reference to forced surgery and growth-stopping drugs Tim takes (also the substance abuse tag).). Child abuse is neglect on the part of Tim’s parents, and correlates to the non-consensual body modification tag. Child death is Jason Todd’s canon death.

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14 Title: Forging Friendship Word Count: 4k Genre: Action/Adventure Fandom/Universe: Young Justice Characters/Pairings: Roy Harper, Kaldur’ahm, Black Manta Warnings: None Rating: PG-13 Summary: Green Arrow takes Speedy on a mission at the Star City Wharf with Aquaman and the new to the surface Aqualad. When the mentors give them a solo task, Speedy is very unsure about working with the new hero and tries to only focus on his mission. However, the mission goes wrong, forcing Speedy to risk his life, and face his fears, to save Aqualad. This story takes place primarily at night at a warehouse near the ocean. However actions scenes take place inside the warehouse with lots of crates that create a maze effect, and at the end of the story they’re all on fire.

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15 Title: (Better Things to do than) Chasing White Rabbits Word Count: 4k of what will likely be 6k Genre: Romcom and action/adventure Fandom/Universe: DC, Pacific Rim Characters/Pairings: Slade Wilson/Dick Grayson Warnings: violence, swearing, slurs (Gipsy Danger is the canon name of a jaeger), overprotective parent Bruce Wayne, sexual innuendo, secret identities, Slade's canonical bad parenting (but at least he's trying to work on that), accidental relationship, family drama, frenemies to lovers Rating: Explicit just in case, though I don't think sex will happen until the next installment in the series Summary: Rumor has it that Dick Grayson can drift with anyone. Slade Wilson has the opposite problem, and kids. Killing kaiju may be easier than parenting, and that's with Grayson playing mediator when he inevitably messes up. Dick, meanwhile, is tired of Bruce overstepping boundaries, and Slade just offered him a chance to help a villain redeem himself while also rubbing B's nose in the fact that clinging so tightly is more likely to drive all his kids away than make anyone want to stay. Even Nightwing has a rep for cheerful spite. Stacker Pentecost is too tired for this; he's got a daughter pushing to join the program, said program to run, and the Becket brothers are enough of a headache. That said, if an internationally wanted mercenary is truly willing to join the program, he'll welcome Deathstroke. He just doesn't want to lose Grayson in the process, or the Wayne family funding for the program. Jason, meanwhile, wins Best Brother accolades, and not just for donning Nightwing while Dick pilots giant robots.

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16 Title: in reverse, tragedy Word Count: ~12k Genre: Drama, Action Fandom/Universe: Batman, no specific canon Characters/Pairings: No Pairings, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Talia al Ghul Warnings: Dehumanization of Talons, Canon-Typical Violence, Decapitation Rating: PG Summary: Around two years after Batman fires Robin and Jason Todd (AKA Batboy) returns from an interstellar mission to find his sort of little brother missing, Talia al Ghul's jet touches down in Gotham. Her objective? Take revenge on the Court of Owls, the secret society hidden under Gotham that ordered Ra's al Ghul's death at the hands of a Talon, one of their personal assassins. During her mission, Talia is once again confronted by the Talon she fought when defending her father. After an intense battle in the Court's underground labyrinth, Talia defeats the Talon. As she unmasks him, she realizes that this Talon is the key to answering a question that has plagued even the Batman: what happened to Dick Grayson? (Sort of a Reverse Robins story, but more accurately a Mix-'Em-Up Robins story.)

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17 Title: bury the dead where they're found Word Count: 8K-ish Genre: Action Fandom/Universe: Batman (Comics) Characters/Pairings: Dick/Koriand'r, Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Slade Wilson, Gotham Rogues Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Murder Rating: PG-13 Summary: After returning to Earth and discovering his little brother is dead, Dick Grayson finds himself questioning how heroic Batman's "No Kill" rule truly is. Faced with Bruce's temper and the disrespectful ways Bruce has chosen to honor Jason, Dick decides it's time to take matters into his own hands, and makes a plan to remove the threat of the Gotham Rogues once and for all. Jason Todd, freshly back from the dead, doesn't understand what happened when he looks at the news in Gotham and sees that the Joker is dead. Determined to figure it out, he leaves Talia and makes his way back to the city that led to his death, only to learn from a strange source the truth of what went on while he was away. This story takes place in various locations, including the batcave, an apartment, Arkham Asylum, and the streets of Gotham.

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18 Title: Coffee Shop Love Word Count: 7,494 Genre: Fluff, Romance, Crossover, Alternate Canon Fandom/Universe: DC Comics/MCU Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson/Tim Drake/James "Bucky" Barnes, Owens/Pru/Z, Conner, Cassie, Bruce/Diana, Bart, Cassie/Cass, Jason/Roy/Kory Warnings: None Rating: PG-13 Summary: Five years ago, Tim Drake saved Bruce and walked away from his so-called family and with Owens, Z, Pru and Bucky Barnes the Winter Solider and started up a small coffee shop with only Conner, Cass, Bart, Cassie and Alfred knowing where he is. Tim was happy until the day the Bats and the Avengers found him. Dick has never forgiven himself for driving away Tim, he longs to make things right with him, even if they never become anything but brothers but those plans are derailed when it comes clear to him that James "Bucky" Barnes has more than friendly feelings for Tim. Soon it becomes Dick vs. Bucky for Tim's heart. Tim just wishes that they would have asked him first.

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19 Title: Against His Heart Word Count: 6,566 Genre: Angst, PWP, rape recovery, happy/hopeful ending Fandom/Universe: DCU, no particular canon Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson/Roy Harper Warnings: Past rape/noncon, slut-shaming, consensual nonconsent Rating: NC-17 Summary: The morning after Dick Grayson learns that Tarantula has died in prison, he gets on a train. Somehow he ends up at Roy's place. Nobody knows about everything that happened with Tarantula; even Dick forgets parts of it. He wishes he could erase everyone who'd ever touched him, even if that would erase Roy, so that Roy could touch him anew. They decide to pretend, and play out a situation where Dick is a virgin. A few awkward hiccups and a whole lot of feelings come out. It makes Dick realize something he wants--something he needs, maybe. He wants to pretend to struggle and say no and for Roy to keep going. They pick a safeword, Dick promises to use it, and so he does. Most of the scenes will take place in Roy's apartment which is somewhere in south New Jersey. It's not an AU (i.e. they are superheros), but they're out of uniform for the story. This is definitely a PWP, with a focus on sexual trauma, beginning to heal from trauma, and hints of a burgeoning DickRoy romance. There are no flashbacks to rape, but there are mentions of it throughout, including Dick's feelings towards his own body and his thoughts during sex with Roy. For a majority of the fic, Roy believes that Dick's relationship with Tarantula was fully consensual, before Dick ends up telling him that it wasn't. Dick is a trans man, and Roy is a cis man.

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20 Title: Stay Awake With Me Word Count: 10,738 of 40k Genre: Mystery, Case-fic Fandom/Universe: Court of Owls (comics) Characters/Pairings: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne Warnings: Major Character Death, Violence Rating: NC-17 Summary: When Dick goes missing, the family works together to try and find him. When Bruce goes missing, the mystery only begins to show itself. In an investigation which will span decades, Clark must work together with the remaining members of the Batfamily to unravel the secrets of Gotham's underbelly, and not only stop the Court of Owls in their bid for power, but to also catch Talon!Bruce and Talon!Dick. The fic will explore two timelines: the 'present' timeline which deals with the court of owls plot and a 'past' timeline that explores Clark's role in the batfamily.

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21 Title: The Maiden in the Tower Word Count: 6k complete so far, looking to be around 10-11k total. Genre: Urban Fantasy, Romantic Comedy, light Drama Fandom/Universe: primarily the pre-Flashpoint DC canon, though that’s more of a guideline than a hard rule. Characters/Pairings: Everyone Loves Tim Drake, ultimately Dick/Tim; Klarion the Witch Boy, Bruce, Barbara, Cass, Cassie, Kon and Bart all have prominent roles. Featuring cameos from as much of the DCU as I can fit in before the deadline, primarily Titans and Young Justice. Warnings: Low-key canon-typical violence and a ‘happily ever after’ kiss for two (full-grown) adopted brothers. Swearing. A few people get made the butt of jokes but it’s nothing too mean-spirited. Rating: PG-13 (technically R for swearing but content-wise it’s strictly PG-13) Summary: Klarion’s idea of the perfect birthday present is to trap Tim in the highest room (Bruce’s office) of the tallest tower in Gotham (Wayne Enterprises) and flood the rest of the building with a mix of living vines and fairy tale obstacles that can only be overcome by Tim’s true love. Shenanigans ensue as half the superhero community competes for the hand of the fair maid Red Robin. Pay-off is Dick/Tim but the lion's share of the page time is spent watching people fight fairytale tropes while Tim and Klarion snark with popcorn. Light-hearted comedy in which some characters get made to look the fool, ultimately gets no sexier than a True Love’s Ending Kiss. Set entirely within a vine-infested, magically-warped Wayne Tower with everyone from the Bats to the Titans to Tim’s civilian friends dealing with fairytale nonsense: glass mountains, living office supplies, pixies swarms, catching the cat who has the key to the next floor, etc. Meanwhile Tim hangs out in the penthouse with Klarion and a pint of ice cream watching the event like a reality show and getting dunked on for being an archetypal Disney Princess. Fun times for all with a light sprinkling of angst for flavor.

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22 Title: The Antecedents to Reunion Word Count: 13,500 (out of approx. 20k) Genre: Steampunk AU, slice of life, case fic Fandom/Universe: Batman comics, drawing heavily from the Court of Owls storyline and Cass's Batgirl run Characters/Pairings: Cassandra Cain/Stephanie Brown (preslash), Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson Warnings: non-canonical limb loss, temporary character death, fake character death, grief/mourning, implied brainwashing, past child abuse, drug use in an interrogation by a minor character Rating: PG-13/Teen Summary: In a verison of Gotham that never existed, a version of Gotham where clockwork and steam bring the city through the night, Dick Grayson is believed to be dead, and Cassandra Wayne has just returned from Hong Kong. But as Cass settles back into the city, she quickly discovers that something-- or someone-- is trying to get her attention, and that the clock is ticking on how much time she has to figure it out. This is very much a "slice-of-life" fic, except it's set in a Steampunk AU. This story is set mostly in Gotham, with there being one flashback scene to Cass’s apartment in Hong Kong. In Gotham, characters go to the manor, a gala, an ice cream parlor, and the Iceberg Lounge. There is also a fight scene in Robinson Park against Poison Ivy, in a villain’s apartment against droids, and a brief chase scene across rooftops. The plot with the Court of Owls is fairly in the background of this fic, as the real focus is Cass, her relationships with the other bats, and the intricacies of mourning. This story has a hopeful ending, in that it ends with Cass discovering that Dick is alive, but the actual reunion is left to the reader’s imagination.

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23 Title: With Blood and Rage of Crimson Red Word Count: 6,968 Genre: Angst, Action/Adventure Fandom/Universe: DCU, Batfam, Lantern Corps Characters/Pairings: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Hal Jordan, Guy Gardener, John Stewart, Bleez, Rankorr, no pairings (however, I might include hints of Batlantern (HalxBruce) later) Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence, mentions of past underage attempted rape, mentions of past drug use, mentions of past child abuse Rating: PG-13 Summary: Jason was only 11 when his life was irreversibly changed. Now the newest member of the Red Lantern Corps, he is immediately thrust into a dangerous game where losing could mean death. With practically half the villains in the universe after him and the rest of the Lantern Corps, Jason must watch his step at every corner. To overcome this threat and find a way to save himself and the people he cares for, Jason must first overcome his own inner demons and learn to trust himself and the people around him. This story is set on multiple planets throughout the DC Universe. On Earth, we see Gotham City, the Batcave, and the Watchtower, in space, they travel to Ysmault and other planets that I made up for the purpose fo the fic (so you will have mostly free reign with the design of those planets if you choose to draw scenes involving them). This story involves canon-typical violence throughout. At the start, there are mentions of child abuse, and there is camera footage shown of attempted rape of a minor, but nothing explicit. At the start of the story, Catherine Todd is found by Jason post-OD and that is mentioned a few times throughout the story. The abuse and attempted rape are mentioned a little throughout the story, but not much, as it is not the focus, rather a back story for Jason. Other than that, there is no smut, or even pairings (unless I decide to do the Batlantern, but that will be a minor background pairing). There might be some language, but it is kept to a minimum.

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24 Title: You Have Their Eyes (But You'll Never Have Their Smile) Word Count: 6,679 Genre: Action/Adventure, Mystery, Angst Fandom/Universe: DCU, Justice League Characters/Pairings: Jason Todd, Kyle Rayner, Donna Troy, Chris Kent, Lorena Marquez, Connor Hawke, possibly Jaykyle Warnings: Canon Typical Violence, Mentions of Past Character Death, might have some minor language Rating: PG-13 Summary: Eight years ago, the Justice League vanished into thin air. Since then, their proteges have been left behind to pick up the pieces of a broken world. Struggling to fill shoes that don't quite fit, the next generation of the Justice League is faced with their pasts as an old case makes a reappearance, eight years after the original Justice League closed it. This is set on Earth, in various locations like Wayne Enterprises, the Watchtower, the Whitehouse, Los Angeles, Malaysia, and Atlantis. As stated before, violence is a part of this fic, but nothing more than you would normally see in canon. Past character deaths are mentioned, including Jason's temporary death, and the supposed deaths of the original Justice League. There is cussing, but only like two or three words in the entire fic. There are also mentions of a court stripping away Donna's parental rights to Terry.

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25 Title: Heavy the Head Word Count: 4k~ Genre: Greek Gods AU Fandom/Universe: No specific canon Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson, assorted batfamily characters Warnings: No real warnings; there's some smut at one point in the fic Rating: NC-17 (overall it's rather tame, but some smut) Summary: Slade is an old nature god, one rather bored with the politics of Olympus. He is, however, rather fascinated by the reserved god of the dead Richard, remembering how different the boy was back when he truly was just a boy. He's always like oddities and figuring out puzzles, and Richard certainly is one at that. Dick would really prefer that everyone leave him alone to do the job he was assigned a millenia ago. Visiting Olympus brings him no peace, not when he knows he'll have to leave again soon, not to see his family for another century or so. Of course, there's always Slade, who's happy to give more than Dick is usually comfortable accepting. Not that that ends up being a bad thing. This story takes place in Mount Olympus, at a waterfall, and in the Underworld.

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26 Title: Hearts Beating Side by Side Word Count: 3,600 Genre: Romance, Drama Fandom/Universe: Young Justice Verse Characters/Pairings: Garth - Tempest/Kaldur'ahm/Dick Grayson Warnings: Threesome, misunderstanding, pining, dirty talk Rating: Summary: On the precipice of changes in their lives, Garth and Kaldur find a momentary reunion and the repressed childhood love that they have both harbored for the other is reignited. But the weekend won't be an easy fall into long awaited love. Nightwing has reappeared after months of silence in the guise of his civilian persona, Dickie Wayne-Grayson. And even though he's playing the part of full-time playboy, Garth can see the spark that Dick lights within Kaldur. And it's not a one-sided feeling. A weekend of diplomacy is consumed by Garth and Dick's competing jealousy; each believing Kaldur has eyes for the other. Garth thinks Dick is leading Kaldur on, and Dick thinks Garth has won Kaldur's heart before the weekend even began. They bicker, and banter, until they Bang It Out. When Kaldur catches them, there's guilt, and confessions and polyamorous negotiations.

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27 Title: hold onto the fire even if you have to burn Word Count: ~7k Genre: Angst with a happy ending Fandom/Universe: DCU (specifically Batfam) and post-Underworld Unleashed Characters: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Zatanna Zatara, John Constantine, Donna Troy Pairings: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd (endgame), Dick Grayson/John Constantine/Zatanna (temporary) Warnings: Threesome, rape/non-con mentioned, self-harm (through magic), depression, lack of self-worth, explicit content, graphic violence, temporary major character deaths. Rating: NC-17 Summary: Dick Grayson is no Batman. After Bruce Wayne refuses to resurrect the late Jason Todd, Dick takes matters into his own hands. Armed with the knowledge of a deal that didn't go through, Dick allies himself with Zatanna and Constantine in a bid to right the wrong that Bruce ignores -- even though souls come at a cost. Dick knows he's strong enough to take the pain to save Jason. But can he stop at Jason? Can he let his fallen friends and family stay dead? Dick is determined to save everyone he can, even if it means losing his soul. The story takes place in multiple locations, primarily in Gotham and Neron's throne room in Hell, with occasional switches to Bludhaven. Rape/non-con refers to past instances (Dick/Mirage, Dick/Catalina) that are discussed at length. Threesome takes place as part of a magic ritual. Self-harm is heavily implied through self-sacrificial actions and reckless behavior (as well as the literal deals with a devil). Graphic violence will be canon-typical. Deaths are canonical deaths and happen offscreen (with the exception of Donna Troy and Damian Wayne who die in front of Dick and are described vividly). There's an alternative ending that includes Dick Grayson dying, but that's only one of two endings that will both be written.

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28 Title: The Deepest Secret Nobody Knows Word Count: ~6500 written (~15000 total) Genre: Romance Fandom/Universe: General DCU, Batman, Green Lantern Characters/Pairings: Bruce Wayne/Hal Jordan Warnings: Unintentional Exhibitionalism, characters/relationship being outed without their consent Rating: Explicit/NC-17 Summary: Hal and Bruce have been fucking for a full year, but have only been in an acknowledged relationship for six months. A jealous co-worker, who will stop at nothing to destroy Bruce Wayne, has a private romantic encounter between Bruce and Hal taped, then releases photos of the encounter to the press. Hal now finds himself thrust into a part of Bruce's life that he'd only had a vague impression of previously. While he believes that his and Bruce's relationship is solid, he's still left wondering if this will prove to be too much trouble to bother with, for himself, for Bruce, and for Bruce's family. Takes place primarily in Gotham (WEI offices, the Batcave, and the manor), with minor placement on the Watchtower, in Hal's apartment in Coast City, and varying Bruce boltholes around Earth. No serious warnings, other than semi-graphic/graphic sex.

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29 Title: In the Shadow of the Empire Word Count: About 12 or 13k, just under 9k written Genre: SciFi, Action/Adventure Fandom/Universe: Batman (though no particular canon), Star Wars AU Characters/Pairings: JayDick, JayTim, implied DickTim, pre-DickTimJay, Cass, Steph Warnings: Graphic descriptions of violence, dub con Rating: NC-17 Summary: For most of the galaxy, life under the Empire's thumb was difficult, stressful, and painfully short. Dick and Jason knew this all too well, trying to keep their rustbucket of a ship in one piece while living job to job on the fringes of the Empire's control. It was a hard life, but as an ex-Jedi and a so-called 'troublemaker' wanted in multiple Empire systems, they didn't have much choice. But when a job goes wrong, they and their crew find themselves on the run from the Hand of the Emperor; a masked dark side user who is as feared as his origins are mysterious... and who is much more involved in Dick and Jason's past than either of them could guess. This story exists within a Star Wars setting, roughly around the time of the Original Trilogy. Scenes take place aboard Jason's ship, on a derelict Republic cruiser (i.e. no lights and without atmosphere or gravity), and on a small, heavily forested moon where the showdown happens between the ship's crew (Dick, Jason, Cass, and Steph) and Dark Side!Tim. The graphic violence is to the tune of blaster and lightsaber wounds. The dub-con occurs when Jason drunkenly sleeps with a stranger at a bar, who later is implied to be Dark Side!Tim undercover. This counts as dub-con because Tim is actively concealing his identity to get information out of Jason and because Jason would likely not have slept with him if he knew who he was and what he was doing.

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30 Title: There Be Dragons Word Count: 6425 words Genre: Urban Fantasy, Dragons Fandom/Universe: Batman Characters/Pairings: JayDick Warnings: Descriptions of burning buildings, violence, some gore Rating: M Summary: In Gotham, there be dragons. A pureblood dragon, Bruce revolved his vigilante persona around his ancestry, to become, Dragonman. Dick’s dragonhood was a direct result of Bruce’s ingenious DNA bonding–a gift he now refuses to use. For a moment in his life, however, he tolerated it, for Jason. Then Jason died. For six months, as far as Dick and Bludhaven was concerned, there were no goddamn dragons. Then one night, fire licked the sky. No matter how fast Dick ran, swung and flew, it was too damn late. A casino was razed to the ground. Human bodies stacked in piles. The shadow of a red dragon’s wings flapped in a distance. There was no question, however impossible, who did it. Dick couldn’t believe it. Dick wouldn’t believe it. This dragon flew around in Dick’s city on a raging warpath, knowing more than he was letting on. Dick intended to find it, and stop it.

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31 Title: When the Winds are Howling Strong Word Count: 3040 Genre: Found family, omegaverse, no capes AU Fandom/Universe: Batfam, Red Hood and the Outlaws Characters/Pairings: Jason Todd, Dick Grayson Warnings: Implied non graphic rape, intersex omegas, severe misogyny against omegas. Dick is a cop but he’s on leave through 90% of the fic Rating: PG-13/Teen. Nothing is graphic, but the topics are heavy Summary: Dick signed up to be a foster alpha, but never expected that he would actually be given an omega. Then Gorden’s men find an gang’s omega in heat and in bad shape. Since most foster alphas are searching for a mate, Dick is given custody over the omega. Jason was pulled off the streets by Joker’s gang when he was fifteen and life’s only gotten worse from there. As a gang omega, Jason served mostly as a form of recreation for the other gang members. After four years in hell, Jason’s given up all hope of escape. He’s got a new alpha who seems decent, but past experience has taught him those are the worst ones. Found family is the core of this fic. Dick helps Jason with his reintroduction into society/introduction to Gotham’s high society and both are forced to confront their internalized prejudices against other castes. It’s set in Gotham and explores both the slums and the glitzier districts. Jason and other male omegas will be depicted as wearing more feminine styles, including dresses and skirts. Key scenes: Dick taking custody of Jason, Dick and Jason growing used to each other, Tim and Damian meeting Jason by accident, Jason dumping out all of Dick’s liquor cabinet, Dick taking Jason shopping, Jason meeting Bruce and Alfred, Dick takes Jason to a gala and they work through a meltdown, Jason shows Dick where he used to live before Penguin and Joker, Dick and Jason fight after finding out everything Jason did in the gangs, Sheila makes an appearance, Jason is induced into an artificial heat, Dick and Bruce find Jason who is already making progress to rescue himself, End by Jason cutting the ribbon to an omega shelter.

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32 Title: Midnight Rendezvous Word Count: 4000+ Genre: PWP, Drama Fandom/Universe: Batman, Nightwing/Grayson Characters/Pairings: Midnighter/Dick Grayson, Bruce/Dick Grayson Warnings: Explicit sex, References to violence, Maybe unsafe sex Rating: NC-17 Summary: Dick is tired of the Golden Boy act. Tired of waiting for Bruce’s approval. And he’s beyond tired of not being noticed... So tonight, he’s going to find someone one who will.

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33 Title: crowns of violets and roses Word Count: 3009 Genre: Romance, Alternate Universe - Greek Mythology Fandom/Universe: Batman - All Media Types Characters/Pairings: Bruce Wayne/Jason Todd Warnings: Attempted non con, swearing, descriptions of violence Rating: Explicit (NC-17) Summary: Modern Hades & Persephone AU. After Bruce Wayne’s parents die, he becomes lord of the underworld, leaving the seasons and harvest unattended. Replacing him are the two Robins, Dick and Jason, spirits of spring and growth, but neither is able to fully step into the Waynes’ empty mantle. Things are further complicated when Dick wants to move on to a new role and Jason’s propositioned by another god. Bruce pulls Jason into the underworld, offering him sanctuary from the threats above. In the shadows, Jason finds both his strength and love. But without the work of both Robins, the land crumbles, threatening the lives of mortals and the power of the gods. The only solution is for Jason to return, unless Bruce is able to out think their enemies. The setting for this story is largely modern with stylized elements from different periods (gothic, art deco). The Underworld, which is the primary setting, is heavily influenced by Wayne Manor and the Cave from comics and the animated series. Other places can have a more Gotham art deco influence.

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34 Title: Bruce Wayne, the Court of… Word Count: 4035 Genre: AU, humor, fluff, angst Fandom/Universe: Batman comics, Nightwing comics, Red Hood and the Outlaws comics, Batman: Under the Red Hood Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne Warnings: rape, death, beating, abuse, violence, spoilers for: Forever Evil arc, Court of Owls arc, recent Nightwing comic arc, recent Batman comic arc, Red Hood and the Outlaws #25, Batman and Red Hood #20 Rating: T/Teen And Up Audiences /PG14+ Summary: Bruce had made many mistakes in his life. The most horrifying and disastrous were the ones involving his family. The way he treated them, deceived, hurt and used finally blew in his face and he had to face the consequences. There was no forgiveness for him now, not from any of them. But maybe there was a way to avoid it all. This story is meant as a fix-it to all the mess the canon turned into. While the story focuses on talking about canonical events there are a lot of headcanon/fanon/tropes put into it as well ie. romantic relationship between adopted brothers. And although the topics discussed are serious matters the fic itself is slightly crackish. The story takes place in Gotham during the Batman: Under the Red Hood events. At first the action is placed all over the city: rooftops, docks, parking lot, train station; for it to narrow down to an abandoned hotel room.

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35 Title: Do You Love The Summer Like I Do? Word Count: 6116 words Genre: Romance, Action Fandom/Universe: Batman, Red Hood and the Outlaws Characters/Pairings: JayRoy Warnings: Descriptions of physical trauma, healing from injuries, violence, some gore Rating: M Summary: Those hazy nights spent blinking in and out of consciousness, events of Bruce cracking his hood open like an egg replaying like a neverending nightmare. Waking up to a stuffy bed, IV drips and the simmering heat. Roy’s dumb, handsome face hovering worriedly beside him. For those months of grueling physical therapy, Jason could depend on one thing to keep him going--Roy’ love. Jason would have put any grand plans of his to a screeching halt, if Roy asked him to stay on that island forever. But he had therapy to go to. Jason could respect that. Then, Roy died. And Jason missed the funeral. But unlike every other piece of shit who dared to call themselves Roy’s friends, Jason wasn’t about to let him lie. And he had a way of bringing him back.

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tinysupervicki · 5 years ago

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It’s hard to stay away, huh? I did turn off my notifications on twitter but I still peeked. Why are y’all so amazing to me? What did I do to deserve this love? This community?

Since y’all have been there for me ever since my mom passed three years ago, I’d do anything for y’all. I felt I did let y’all down because I’m a content creator and haven’t done anything in so long. It sucks because I’m yearning to do so but lack the time due to now being an adult, working a grueling adult job and living with family.

I believe I will be able to get a place of my own later in the year, I’m really hoping for that. As for my full time job, I’m actively looking for another one. The one I’m at, I feel I work so hard but I’m not appreciated enough. It’s a healthcare industry and I work hard to help people with their needs while management focuses on metrics and numbers. I wanna get out of there.

I haven’t had time to myself and just be selfish for once? So I’m glad I was able to take time off to have a pretty long weekend to enjoy Sizecon 2020 and spend time with friends.

Let’s get started on the recap, shall we? Bare with me, I talk a lot (and not well might I add).

Day 1: Thursday 2/13/20

I woke up at 4 am to catch my flight that leaves at 6:45 am. I thankfully had all my bags packed, I just needed to shower and be ready. My dad took me to the airport and wished me off. At this point, I had plenty of time, even seeing the long TSA line at the Houston airport. I had internally groaned a lot but managed through. After having some minutes to spare, I grabbed a quick bite to eat at one of the dining places, a lovely breakfast bowl that I can have (those of you who don’t know me, I have celiac disease and I have to eat gluten free). Jumped on my flight and comfortably slept in my seat on the plane. The plan was to have a connecting flight to Charlotte, NC and then to Newark, NJ.

Two hours later, I woke up to not at my destination but at Colombia, SC. Apparently, while I was asleep, they had to divert us to the next airport because the weather was really bad in NC. We had two options: stay on the plane and wait it out until we’re back in the air to NC, or get off the plane and figure out another alternative. I stayed, I had plenty of time until my connecting flight was scheduled (which I actually got alerts that it ending up delaying a lot) so I stayed in my seat and watched greys anatomy. About almost an hour passed and we’re finally back up in the air, with more space to breathe since there were people that did leave the plane. Landed safely in NC and I ventured off to find snacks and wait at my gate. It kept delaying but I finally was able to get on my flight to NJ, making my total time at the airport and in the air...all day, I can’t do math lol. I safely landed in NJ at 5:30 pm, I had been awake since 4 am. It was a day.

Yo, I’m gonna get him and his wife a gift, I swear to god, but DJ (aka Giantgripper) saved me by picking me up from the airport and letting me stay the night at his place. When he’s the host, he does one heck of a job as a host. Since I hadn’t eaten a proper meal since 5 in the morning or so, DJ took me to a Mediterranean little mom and pop restaurant that I fell in love with. Had a stuffed pepper and practically cleaned everything off my plate. After we ate, I accompanied DJ while he did some errands for extra things he needed for the con (which did include articles of clothing for the giant cafe lol). I was happy to help as much as I could. After that, we made it back to his place. Once his wife Adri (chibiana) came home from work, we watched a documentary while trying (and failing with me because I’m a turd) to make different mixed drinks to taste. I ended up going with hot chocolate, I’m a simpleton when it comes to alcohol. A little bit afterwards, I had to pass out, it was a long ass day.

Day 2: Friday 2/14/20

Valentine’s was just another day for me. Woke up, got dressed, and DJ surprised me with a fresh homemade breakfast. It was magnificent, I scrapped the plate then too. Plans for the day was to get allllllll the stuff we need and travel to the hotel, which apparently was an hour and a half away from DJ’s house I believe. Adri had to go do another thing for work and was gonna meet up later. DJ and I traveled to the hotel first. I passed out again in the car, I was so exhausted from before I guess it had hit me again.

We made it to the hotel and unpacked the car with my stuff, his and Adri’s bags, and things for the con. I got to say quick hellos to people I knew that were already there (gave a big ass hug to Miss Kaneda, she’s so precious and a big hug to IamFilledwithStatic). I was going to be sharing a room with shortmarcy, Morgana (Moe), and Guiri. So since I had arrived first, I will check in first; Morgana and Guiri were still flying from Spain and shortmarcy didn’t come until the next morning. Since it was under shortmarcy’s name and the deposit was paid under her, She had to call to have the hotel let me check in for her. In turn, I had to put my card on file. I thought I was being a responsible adult and I thought it was gonna charge like half of the charge or something but...they charged the full price of the hotel. Which was $503...which was basically everything in my bank account. I didn’t know that was gonna happen, I panicked and just sat on the couch outside of the con area while Robyn (goddess-rei) comforted me. I had to come to terms that shit happens and I had no money for the weekend. But I graciously had the best of friends this weekend, I’ll get to that in a sec.

After my bumming out, I changed to put on my blouse for the valentines banquet (one of my guaranteed dinners that night lol). I met up with Morgana and Guiri and also sillylilbug (she’s so adorably sweet). We had our own table along with my friend Joe (CaptainRandGTS, who is a phenomenal photographer btw). We ate some good food and they took account of my gluten free (however I think the chimichurri steak may have upset my stomach). I said goodnight and went to my room to basically turn the bathroom up XD I had changed into my pajamas to head downstairs to get water and pain medicine when I turned the corner and saw a group of people walking down the hall. Guys, I’m still getting used to this, but the group was like, “Is that Vicki?!” “That is her!” And I was like WHAT. It was my lovely friends sviolet, mansquishers, mister finch, Joseph moestar, and Strongshadow2018. I was so surprised and honored, I was gushing. I got to hang out with them in their hotel room for a bit, played cards against humanity (I WON!) and ate ridiculously delicious gluten free cookies misterfinch made.

Day 3: Saturday 2/15/20

Con day. This day was a bit of a blur honestly (my mind is not the same people) but I know I took this day to “try” and relax. I was still bummed about my money problem but I had enough to buy the breakfast buffet meal ticket. My idea was to chow down a lot of food (since it was a buffet) so I won’t ask for food but that did not happen because I have wonderful friends?? Towards noon, I went to ihop with my crew (we called each other the sizecon crew lol) with sviolet, mansquishers, mister finch, Joseph moestar, and strongshadow2018. We had a nice time and I was so grateful for the lunch! Once we headed back to the hotel, we split up to do more con shenanigans. I met so many people, it was amazing. People I already knew and new people as well. It was awesome to match names to faces, it was so cool. I’m telling you though, my mind is not the same so I can’t list out the whole list of everyone I’ve seen. Then I got to see my good friend Steve (Miles Striker). I’m so fucking proud of this dude. He showed me a film he wrote, recorded, and edited all by himself, it was mindblowing. We had to go back downstairs after that because I forgot I had a social to lead and he had panels to go to. I stopped by the giant cafe, that was fucking wild. I ran the Fluffy Feels Social and I did my best because I’ve never ran something like that. But I’m glad we all liked the same thing and we just kept talking! It was getting late to when the Playroom was gonna start, so I headed back upstairs. Chilled a bit more with my crew and then headed back downstairs. I don’t know what got over me, but I gathered enough courage and joined the nude swimming party. I cannot believe I did that, that was a big step for me. Kinda sucked getting out though because I didn’t have extra clothes and it was fucking cold.

Day 4: Sunday 2/16/20

Technically last day of the con but it was the busiest. I spent all morning practicing my skit for the Tiny Cafe. I was nervous and pacing around in my hotel room, making sure I get it right. Around 12:30, I headed down to meet up with the rest of the cafe to get ready when we start at 1 pm. I could not describe how nervous I was. I wanted to make sure I didn’t mess up and I know I was lip syncing (graciously provided by Anoka’s vocals) I was still nervous as fuck. This was a performance and I’m now more confident talking to others about my kink/aesthetics but performing? Oh lawd. We had a big crowd apparently, I was surprised. We had to get more chairs and apparently turn people away? THAT MADE MY NERVES SKYROCKET. The cafe starts with a wonderful performance by Adri (Chibiana) then followed by cute transitions from our servers mini-moo and shortmarcy. Then it’s time for our skit: Veronica (Jitensha), me, and Aim were shrunk and sung songs about our giants. I was first (omg) and mine was in the style of “Maria” from west side story (Veronica called it Shrunken side story). I was shaking like a leaf and tried my best to get through the whole song while doing silly quirks of mine. Once that was done, I rushed back from my spot XD it was Veronica’s turn to sing about a giant dick lol and Aim serenading a giant lady. After our skit, it was the grand finale of Morgana performing a dance in a giant hamster ball. It was incredible. Despite my anxiety, I’m glad I did this and we did so amazing (we made tips!!!!).

Right after that was done, I had to rush to lead a social of Giant men and Tiny women. It was a small turnout but we still got people and we talked a lot. When that was done, I rushed to be on my first panel of the day: Owning what you love. After that was the Macrophile panel and then after that was the Diversity panel. I was on all of them and they were back to back, I was a busy lady lol. After that panel, I was free! Since I made tips from the cafe and I was broke from the hotel, I got to buy a few things in the vendor hall. Was able to say hi to some people I knew like scridam, the reducer, miss kaneda, iamfilledwithstatic, robclassact, and aborigen. It was also mister finch’s birthday so since I was free for the night, I went with the crew to go celebrate at a restaurant. That was such a nice time, I swear everything I did this weekend I wanted to experience again. When we came back to the hotel after dinner (after a quick stop to the liquor store lol), I was able to make it in time for the closing ceremony. Hearing everyone’s words touched my heart and reminded me why I love this community. So I was able to give a speech to say that; this is my second home when I lost my only home when my mom passed. God, that room was filled with so much love. I went back upstairs and hung out more with the crew and watched Promare (pretty sick movie). I was gonna head to bed but I hung out more with Steve and we watched a movie before passing out.

Day 5: Monday 2/17/20

It was time to say all of my goodbyes to everyone that had to leave. I gave so many hugs and love, I just miss them all. Most of the crew had to head out, except for sviolet, she had her flight in the afternoon. So we went out to breakfast at a Mexican restaurant, reminiscing this whole weekend. We came back to the hotel to chill in my hotel room. Morgana and Guiri were leaving to the airport back to Spain and shortmarcy wanted to venture to NYC before she went home the next day. So sviolet and I chilled in my room before she had to head out.

Then for the rest of the evening, I had the room to myself. I watched law and order svu whole packing and double checked I had everything. I waited up for shortmarcy to come back (I was so worried) but she made it back after 10 pm safe and sound. At that point, I had to go to bed because my flight in the morning was at 5:45 am.

Day 6: Tuesday 2/18/20

I woke up at 3 am to get to the airport on time and my Lyft driver I got...I had a feeling he was having a bit of fun by himself before he picked me up. Because it stunk in the car of cum. Whatever, I held in my breath and made it to the airport safely. My flights were on time and I slept on each one. I did not want to go back home.

Back to reality and I hate the after con blues! Especially with how much this con and community means to me.

Hoping there’s a next year and I’m ready to help as usual.

Y’all have a goodnight ❤️

#shut up vicki really #giant tiny #sizecon #sizecon 2020

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trayvonfleary-blog · 6 years ago

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General Assembly Software Engineering Immersive

Hello All, instead of posting my normal content relating to cars and/or trucks, I will be taking a deeper dive into my daily life, particularly regarding the software engineering immersive program that I am currently undergoing, which is a technology bootcamp. For a couple of months, I am going to sway away from discussing different sectors within the automotive industry while I focus strictly on technology, but automotive is not going anywhere so stay tuned for big announcements following;)

What Is It?

Currently I’m completing General Assembly’s Software Development Immersive, which is a “12 week award-winning program that has expert instructors and career coaches, and connect graduates with 19k+ hiring partners to get them jobs at A-list companies.” It is slated as your best course for career transformation. The company boats 9,000+ hires, as it states that they are the leader in placing their grads into high-growth, and high-pay tech jobs. Yes, this is all accomplished within 12 weeks. I’m sure you’re asking, “Are these jobs guaranteed?” Of course not, but the company is quite confident. Continue reading as to “why?” after this quick infographic below illustrating what you can expect from this program.

Im currently entering into my 5th week of this program. On our first day, a General Assembly employee bursts in our classroom, after getting another graduate hired, and asked, “Did you guys here about our last cohort?”, which had ended a couple of months prior. We had no clue what she was referring to but then she claims that their last cohort had a 93%+ hire rate. Impressive right. Thats a way to bring some motivation if you had any doubts before. Who knows if this was the truth, but they were all very excited and I have personally heard from some earlier attendees about the jobs that they received after the course and some even during the last week or 2 of the course ending. Before this starts sounding like a fantasy world where you can spend the 3 months and someone else can spend 4-5 years getting a computer science degree and you both end up with the same job (very possible), I’m going to break things down a bit.

Tuition Options?

First, starting with cost, I feel that the tuition share agreement is the best payment option and allows many people who can’t afford it to have a chance at something that can be life changing. It is not yet available in all states, but it’s a great option if you are not trying to pay $14k(approximate tuition cost) out of pocket and upfront(or in a few payments). Focusing on the $0 upfront income share agreement, it is structured very fair in my opinion. You are only required to pay an upfront $250 deposit until you land a software engineering job (ex: web development, full stack, etc) and depending on your location, entry level is probably hovering around $60k and above.

So if you don’t land a job, you are not at the hands of a huge loan that you cannot afford and most importantly, you’re not out of $14k+ that many pay to take the program. If you have additional experience in UX/UI design, and/or other skills for that matter, your pay can be a lot higher.

Income Share Agreement?

As far as General Assembly not offering the income share agreement not being offered in all states, specifically New York at the moment, I believe that it has to do with the amount of jobs being offered and the amount that are vacant. Here in the Greater Atlanta Area, the tech scene is taking on massive growth along with an abundant amount tech jobs that have yet to be filled. Whether it’s startups, fintech companies, or larger corporations, there is a massive demand for tech jobs in many industries here. I’m not sure of the availability in other cities and states in respective to the amount of tech workers seeking employment.

Adding to the tuition share agreement option, applicants are also subject to a more strict batch of pre course work, along with an evaluation to see if you are prepared and can be successful at this program. My pre course work (estimated to take 40 hours if you have prior knowledge) took me at least 60+ hours, and thats literally. Going through the pre course work, I decided to take notes and continue to reference them even when the program started so that I could truly retain the information, just as I would with another language until I could demonstrate it effortlessly.

Negatives?

The only negative to this income share agreement is that the total amount paid for the course increases to approximately $20,000, instead of the $14,000 that you could sign up for up front after getting accepted. Although this $20,000 will be paid for over a multiple of years (small monthly payments ranging from $300-$800 per month), depending on how much income you are making per year with the lower end being around the $50k end and the upper being $100k+ end.

That is where the trade off comes in, as you decide whether you would want to pay $14k up front or $20k over a multiple of 3-5 years. Simply put, both options come with what some will see as a hefty price but when compared to the average college tuition for 3-5 years, it is significantly less. So is it worth it? My simple answer: Yes, but its not for everyone and also depends on how much time you willing to dedicate!

What does it take?

Personally, as I’m approaching week 5 in the 12 week program, I would say that it is well worth it. This may not be the same for everyone else. There are so many factors that go into this decision and realizing if it is worth it for you or not. First off, the program is 12 weeks long and runs on a very strict schedule, from Monday – Friday (9am-5pm). All of my cohort(class) had to quit their jobs, and/or whatever else they were doing including school, etc. This IS NOT just a 9-5 job for three months. Ample time is required outside of class for this program to be worth it. You get what you give. Currently, it is very normal for me and my “codemates” to spend another 20-40+hours outside of class per week, on top of our current 9-5 days.

Being Prepared?

Handling this amount of work in such a short period of time is life changing mentally, physically, socially, and financially of course. Savings is required as it’s almost impossible to take on a full time job during this time. Knowing how to handle stress and pressure is also very important, as there will be a lot of ups and downs during the course. Another importance is your family and support. Your time will be very limited during this time, so just be prepared to be a bit disconnected during this time.

For me, personally, I had no real coding experience before starting the pre work for this program, but doing a lot of studying in the year prior to signing up for the program certainly helped with knowing different technologies and frameworks, and what they were used for. Regardless, free time gets pretty scarce during this time of development. It is extremely tough to stay consistent with a certain level of focus each and every day in this program, as it’s basically like learning a new language. So, being prepared is very critical.

The Daily Grind?

Each and every day has a structured schedule that we are given at the beginning of the cohort. The days normally start with lecture, or a quick meeting if it’s project week. Throughout the day, we go through enormous amounts of material, but it’s never just a lecture. Practice, practice, and more practice! Daily learning on how to structure, develop, and implement responsive webpages and applications from the ground up. This is where General Assembly separates itself from just trying to read and learn to code online, or even while pursuing a 4 year computer science degree while spending meaningless time on classes and material that you don’t need or ever use again.

As the saying goes, if you want to learn Chinese, the fastest way is to get dropped directly into the middle of China! This is the exact same. You’re being thrown right into the programming fire everyday, but in a good way. All of the new information learned is always directly followed by practice, as you jump right into the CLI(command line interface) and your IDE(integrated development environment). HTML, and CSS fly by within the first couple of days and then you will be jumping directly into Javascript. After that, you are off and running, and thats when the real challenge starts and the bulk of the course begins.

Is It Really Worth It?

All in all, I think it is definitely worth it if you have a passion to work in tech, whether to create your dream company or to work for another. This is the case, but this immersive program is not something that you spend a little time on and make it into a small side gig. If that’s what you’re looking for, then programming may not be ideal for you. It takes intense focus and dedication to be successful in the field. One mistake can crash an entire program, or maybe even delete an entire database and cause the company to crash. What if someone deleted the entire database of Uber drivers because they told the computer an incorrect command? Of course this would not happen, as their infrastructure has too much sophistication for that to happen, but the company would literally be out of operations for who knows how long and this would cause the end of one of the biggest companies that the world has ever seen.

If you’re not passionate about it, and that goes for anything in life, then you shouldn’t waste your time and/or money. It is also only worth it if you have time. This point needs to be emphasized. For example: If you have a family and can’t afford to quit your full time job, this is not a good idea. I’ve found that many who go through these programs don’t have many responsibilities at the moment, or they have wonderful supporters around them who help them throughout the duration. The immersive is very time consuming, and some may find it easier than others, but the amount of time that has to be put in is undeniable.

In a quick rundown, within 5 weeks, I have learned HTML, CSS, Javascript/jQuery, started creating our own servers, learning node, express, mongoDB, certain data structures and science, and so much more underlying information. This is not everything, and has taken massive work outside of class along with in class work and lecture. Just 5 weeks ago, I wouldn’t even know where to start.

Why Would You Put Yourself Through Such a Daunting Task?

For me, taking this leap was about being creative and bringing my ideas to life, as I push to provide immense value to this world for decades to come. My friends have always told me that I have all of the ideas, but to me they meant nothing if I could never bring them to life. I avoided obtaining these skills for the simple reason of believing that they were too time consuming, or that it was too old to start now, or simply because of me believing that I didn’t belong in that time of environment (the common imposture syndrome). Whether you’re a cook, waitress, sales associate, truck driver, garbage truck operator or whatever it may be, you can be successful not only in this program, but in this career field as a whole.

All of these technologies are fairly new, relative to our society, and if you spend 10+ hours a day on something while someone else maybe spends a hour every few days, you will be amazed at how far you can go. If you are thinking of a career change, or simply love the tech field and need this sort of structure to learn, I will highly advise taking General Assembly’s Software Engineering Immersive if time and your situation persists. You will also hear the phrases “Web Developer”, “Full Stack Developer”, etc associated with software engineering as a lot of the knowledge intertwines.

Youtube Series Update?

Last but NOT LEAST, stay tuned as this will be just an intro to these blog and content posts regarding my Software Development journey. I aim to produce this content for the remaining 7-8 weeks in the course, while also producing content beyond the program as I work on different projects and aim to connect with like minded people in the industry. In the upcoming posts, I will link a youtube video that goes into depth about my particular General Assembly Immersive location, in the Greater Atlanta Area. Stay tuned, and be blessed!

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scarletraven1001 · 7 years ago

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Impasse - Chapter 9: Epilogue

The final chapter of Impasse.

Chapter warning: Fluff; Slight sexual content.

All Chapters: ��1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

Also on Ao3.

M-rated version on ff.net.

8-8-8-8-8

I can’t believe it. My first Vegebul multi-chapter fanfic is over! I legit feel like crying, because I am so happy that I actually completed this fic. This story started just from a one-shot inspired by a cute little fanart that I found on tumblr, and has somehow turned into this story that helped me explore not just these characters, but facets of myself, as well.

Also, because of this story, I have met and interacted with so many wonderful people, have received amazing writing tips and inspiration, and I am really very, very thankful to all of you who liked, commented, kudos’d, favorite/bookmarked and reblogged this story. You all made it possible for me to push through and finish this story, so from the very bottom of my heart, thank you so much to all of you!

Let’s get on with this then! The final chapter of Impasse.

And as always… your feedback will be greatly appreciated!

8-8-8-8-8

Chapter 9: Epilogue

8-8-8-8-8

Bulma hummed a small tune as she drove, her shiny new periwinkle hybrid car gleaming as it sped down the highway.

She knew she was speeding just a tiny bit, but it was Friday, and she really couldn’t wait to get home that day.

She was bursting at the seams with excitement, dying to share her most recent discovery with the dark-haired man waiting for her at home.

She stopped at a red light, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel as she impatiently waited for the light to turn green.

The rays of the setting sun reached for her through her lightly-tinted car windows, bouncing off the shiny, intricately-engraved golden ring and its grander diamond-topped twin on her left ring finger.

She smiled, excited to see Vegeta.

Vegeta… Her husband.

It had been five years since she had met him, since she had first looked into the piercing eyes of the man she would later fall madly in love with.

Three years since he, at their annual office party, got down on one knee before her, and with the entire staff of Ouji Enterprises as their witness, asked her to become his wife.

It had been nearly two years since she walked down an aisle littered with blue flower petals, her bouquet of light blue roses and hydrangea clutched tightly in her hands, and promised her mind, body and soul to the only man she would ever cherish more than life itself.

He was truly the love of her life, and she was determined to make sure that he knew it, felt it, every single day…

Which was the reason why he needed to be the first one she told about her entire life’s most amazing discovery.

She slammed down on the gas, giddy as she saw the roof of their medium-sized mansion, nestled among the trees, smack down the border of the South and West Cities.

It was a strategic spot. It was only half an hour away from both of their places of work.

He at Ouji Ent…

And she at Capsule Corp.

Vegeta had taken it upon himself to help the Briefs reconcile. Several months after Bulma had admitted to the public that they were together following his car accident, he had pulled strings to, without Bulma’s knowledge, gain an appointment with Dr. Briefs.

They had spoken at length about her, him promising her father that he was going to look after her and be there for her, before he begged them to leave Bulma alone to find herself.

She had been livid about his interference, but he had simply said that he knew, deep down, that she still loved her family in spite of their issues… and she had nothing to fear from them now, as he would be there with her, standing with her, to keep her strong, all the way.

She had later gone back to her family home to speak with her parents, and with her hand in Vegeta’s warm grasp, she had looked at her father and mother…

8-8-Flashback-8-8

“I am happy. I am very happy right now. Vegeta,” she paused as she choked back tears, and he squeezed her hand in support. “Vegeta makes me happy. My job right now, makes me happy. And I don’t care if you think I’m a harlot,” she glanced at her mother, “for dating my boss. Because this thing between us is real.”

Her father had sat straight, brows knitted together as he responded. “Bulma... If you two are in love, then I am glad that you have found each other. Your mother and I… We are your parents, and we want you to be happy, dear.”

“Then I need you both to promise that whatever I do, you’ll be happy for me. I need to know that you won’t try to stop me from discovering more about myself, because as much as I am your daughter, I am also my own person,” she paused to glance at the dark-haired man sitting beside her. “Vegeta makes me happy because he supports me. He gives me my freedom and lets me have a choice. My life is up to me, and he has never tried to force or impose himself and his decisions on me. I need that kind of support from you two, as well.”

Panchy refused to look at Bulma as she spoke, her voice light and airy, but Bulma sensed the underlying seething in the blonde woman’s tone.

“You would abandon us for him? Your family who raised you, gave you everything you needed and wanted… just to prove a point?” Panchy asked.

Bulma gasped, utterly mortified as fury crawled through her veins.

She opened her mouth to reply, but a stern voice beat her to the punch.

“If I may interject, Briefs-san,” Vegeta spoke, pulling all of their attention to him.

His face and tone remained polite, nearly impassive, but Bulma could tell from the way his hand curled convulsively around her fingers, and his eyes had darkened in his barely leashed rage, that he had reached his boiling point.

“Bulma did not join Ouji to prove a point. She wanted to discover herself, find her own way. She is not abandoning you, but she had distanced herself from you because she needed room to grow, which is something that in your overprotectiveness,” he paused, his teeth grinding in agitation. “she was having a hard time finding. I cannot promise to be the perfect person towards her, but I can guarantee you this… with me, she will be free to learn all she can about herself. And I will stand by her. Because I cherish your daughter, as I am sure you do, as well.”

Her heart clenched, and she could feel his love for her enveloping her, giving her the courage to push forward and make her parents understand that she didn’t hate them, but she was done being a child.

She was a grown woman. A woman who had been lucky enough to find and fall in love with a wonderful man who, amazingly, loved her back.

“Please remember that it was Vegeta who wanted me to talk to you,” she said through gritted teeth, causing her father to wince, and her mother to blink. “I never would have found the will or desire to come here if not for him, so don’t suggest that he is the reason I have turned away... He is the reason, the only reason, I am trying to clear things between us now. I would prefer to have you in my life, but I will not hesitate to turn away again if you cannot accept that I am my own person, and the decisions about my career and personal life are mine to make.”

She stood, Vegeta following suit. As they made their way to the door, she turned back slightly as she remembered something else.

“By the way, Tights called a week ago. She and Kaito, Jaco’s father, are getting married. If you’d like to attend the wedding this fall, you know how to find her.”

8-8-8-8-8

That slightly disastrous meeting had led to further conversations between Bulma and her parents, until they had finally settled on a truce, on the day of Tights’ wedding.

However… it was not until after they had gotten engaged that Vegeta had asked her to think about going back to Capsule Corp.

He had known, before she herself had realized it, that she could never truly turn her back on CC, because she would wish to honor her father’s legacy and hard work.

He never pushed, only planted the idea in her head… but as a testament to how well he knew her, Bulma realized that he was right… she did want to eventually lead CC, but the problem she had before was that if she had just taken over the company at 21, then she would not have been happy because it wouldn’t have been her choice to do so.

She also knew that without any corporate experience, in spite of her genius, she would have surely run the company into the ground. She would not have had the chance to learn and grow, to develop strategies that could help her manage a corporation. Now that she had learned the ways of steering an organization from Ouji, she could seriously consider eventually heading their family’s company.

Vegeta truly did know her better than she knew herself.

Her father had been ecstatic when she called him to talk about Capsule Corp., but she had insisted that she first be assigned a lower executive position, until she felt confident in fully taking on the responsibilities of leading the company.

She left Ouji Ent. shortly before she married Vegeta. He had been very sad to have her leave the company, but he had been happy for her, knowing that her moving to CC was the start of yet another chapter in their lives. She joined CC as the Chief of Research and Development six months after their wedding.

Bulma’s life was going exactly the way she wanted it to, perhaps even better.

She turned into their large garage, grinning as she saw her husband already there, pulling open the back of his SUV, that she saw was full of groceries.

“Hey babe!” she greeted, carefully parking beside him.

He gave her an answering smirk, moving to meet her at the driver’s side, extending a hand to her. She smiled gratefully as she took his hand, easily hopping off the large vehicle with his help.

They walked to the back of his car, and Bulma snickered at the number of bags she saw.

“What’s all this?” she asked amusedly, eyeing the grocery bags he was unloading.

“Food.”

She rolled her eyes. “Ok, smartass. What kinds?”

He smirked. “Meat, some vegetables. A bunch of your Cheetos and coffee. I sent Kakarot out to buy all this.”

After Goku graduated, Vegeta had hired him as one of Ouji Ent’s purchasers.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not in his job description,” she grinned, pulling out some of the lighter bags to help her gluttonous husband take the food into the house.

“I am also quite sure he doesn’t mind, after he received that large bonus that I approved.”

Bulma’s smile widened. “Oh come on. You realize that the whole thing would probably be spent on his and Chichi’s wedding next month?”

He scoffed. “I am already paying for the wedding cake.”

“And that was really nice of you.”

“What can I say… you made me do it,” he groused as he heaved the last of the bags into his arms, heading for the door with Bulma in tow.

Suddenly he grinned, teeth gleaming with his lascivious smile. “I seem to remember that you had been… extremely persuasive that night.”

Bulma flushed, gaping as she stared at him incredulously.

“I- I- I didn’t-” she sputtered.

“That was an extra nice touch, the thing you did with the-”

“Vegeta!”

Vegeta threw his head back, laughing raucously in the face of her distress as he began walking towards the house.

Bulma ran after him, face red as a tomato.

“I did not do that to persuade you, you ass-”

“Whatever you say, woman,” he said as he pushed the door open and let them both inside the house.

The mansion was deserted, save for them and the security guards at the gates. All their housekeepers have gone home, as was usual for them every Friday evening. Their household help all had the weekends off, since Vegeta and Bulma preferred to have the entire house to themselves during the weekends.

It was also Vegeta’s chance to have Bulma cook his meals, as for some reason she really could not fathom, he absolutely loved her cooking.

It still puzzled her to high heavens, as she knew that her cooking was mediocre, at best. Nobody other than Vegeta seemed to like it.

She pouted as they went into the kitchen, where Vegeta dropped their bags onto the counter, teasingly placing a kiss on her cheek before turning from her to hunt down the TV remote. She smiled at his back, then started placing their food into the cupboards and the fridge.

It was a comically simple routine, but it was all part of Bulma’s domestic dreams come to life.

She shook her head at the sight of the cans of his Hetap energy drink, arranging them into the fridge as she heard the television blare to life in the living room.

“Bulma,” Vegeta called as he reentered the kitchen. “I almost forgot, Raditz said thanks for those CC shoes you gave Laura. Apparently, the kid loves them and refuses to take them off.”

“Oh that’s great!” she said brightly. “Launch told me that their little girl doesn’t like wearing shoes. I guess the new prototype soles we produced were comfy enough that Laura actually likes them. I’m gonna tell Marketing to complete their market research so we can mass-produce the shoes.”

She felt his thick, well-muscled arms snake around her waist from behind as she finished arranging the last of the groceries into the cabinets.

She lifted her hands up to grasp his as he rested his hands across her stomach, and their fingers linked together as she leaned back, turning her head slightly so she can gaze at him while he lowered his lips to kiss the side of her neck.

She felt the warmth of his lips contrast with the coolness of the golden chain around her throat as he moved up, leaving small nips and licks until she giggled, and he smiled as he moved so her lips could gently meet his.

She stayed in his arms, luxuriating in his heat, silently feeling him for a few minutes before she took a deep breath.

He felt her inhale, and he asked, “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You seem a bit… anxious. Did anything happen at work?”

She smiled, raising a hand to stroke her crescent necklace, silently asking it for support.

“Nothing bad, but I did discover something very important today,” she whispered.

He pulled back, turning her so she faced him, before he wrapped her in his arms again, their hands resting on each other’s waists.

“What? Do you need help?”

“Well…” she started, smiling softly at him. “Not right now… but I will probably get a lot needier in the next few months.”

His brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

Her smile widened, before she lifted a hand, taking one of his…

And very gently, very slowly, laying it across her abdomen.

His eyes widened, hope and disbelief brightening his obsidian orbs as he stuttered at the insinuation.

“Bulma?” he breathed. “Are you saying…”

“I’ve been feeling a bit strange, so I did a test at work and discovered that… I’m six weeks along, Vegeta.”

“You’re… Bulma, you’re-”

“Yes!”

“You’re serious?” he asked, face flushing as he watched her smile, tears of joy filling the corners of her eyes.

She nodded. “We’re gonna be parents, Vegeta!”

“Bulma!” he exclaimed, his voice catching slightly as he said her name.

He pulled her close, lifting her off her feet in his excitement, and she laughed, holding him around his neck as he held her tight, his face buried into the crook of her neck.

He let her go, gently dropping her to her feet, as he began frantically asking if she felt ok, if there was anything she needed…

“Do you want me to call the housekeepers in? Do you want to sit down and let me make dinner? Do you want me to buy the actual moon for you?” he asked, and Bulma wasn’t quite sure anymore if he was kidding or actually serious.

“I’ve got my own moon around my neck, thank you very much,” she laughed. “And no… I can still make dinner.”

“Bulma, anything you want, let me know immediately,” he said, a huge grin splitting his face as he still held her loosely, unable to let her go.

“l will.”

“You have no idea, I can’t even tell you how happy you’ve made me,” he said.

She laughed as she watched him, his eyes glued to her stomach as he stared in wonder, no doubt already imagining the child that was growing within her right at that moment.

“I love you, Vegeta,” she whispered, and his sharp eyes flew to hers as his hands tightened their grip around her waist.

He leaned down, his soft breaths fanning over her cheeks as he lowered his lips to hers, giving her a heartfelt kiss that breathed life into her every cell, sustaining her heart, letting her feel how much he treasured her and everything they shared together.

He suddenly lifted her up, and not breaking their kiss, began walking out of the kitchen with her in his embrace.

She wrapped her legs around his waist as he deftly found his way into their bedroom, and he laid her down on the very center of their plush king-sized bed.

He held himself over her, his weight carefully on his hands and knees that surrounded her like a protective cage.

Her heart was in her throat as she stared at him, taking in every line and curve of his gorgeous face, as he lifted his left hand, stroking her cheek.

Her eyes strayed momentarily to the scars adorning his arm: the tiny one from their first night together, and the longer, harsher one from his accident.

Two scars that somehow brought them together, reminding her even more of the things they had endured to finally find their way to each other.

They had won.

“I love you, Bulma,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss her again, and she felt him pour his entire heart and soul into the beautifully intimate contact as his fingers traveled down to undo the buttons on her blouse.

She pulled away from his kiss with a gasp. “What about dinner?” she asked, half-jokingly.

“That can wait,” he smirked, pulling her blouse open and eagerly cupping her soft breasts, making her moan.

As she surrendered once more to his touch, let him ravish her with his love, she couldn’t help but agree.

This overwhelming feeling of joy, that she needed to express to him in the deepest way possible, cannot wait.

Dinner could, until much later.

After all, they had plenty of time.

Together, they had forever.

8-8-8-8-8

The end.

Liked this story? Click here for my other fics!

#vegebul #vegebul fanfiction #vegebul smut fanfic #db fanfic #db au fanfic #db smut #db smut fanfic #vegeta #bulma #vegebul smut #dragon ball #impasse fic #scarletraven fanfiction

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jay-omnipotent · 7 years ago

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Open For Readings - Jay’s Tarot

(King of Pentacles from the Everyday Witch Tarot by Deborah Blake, art by Elisabeth Alba)

I’ve had mixed feelings about reading for money in the past, which is why I’ve always done free readings. But some insight from members of the community and some life changes are encouraging me to finally put my skills to serious use. So, here marks the opening of Jay’s Tarot. :)

My History

I’ve been reading tarot for about ten years now. I started as a kid with the Starter Tarot deck, reading for family, friends, and myself, and got a lot more into it in my later teenage years, expanding to various other decks. Tarot has always been deeply wrapped in my spirituality, hence my trouble with asking for money for readings and why I won’t be charging too much for my spreads. I’ve come at reading from a few different perspectives and now incorporate memorized meaning, symbolic interpretation, gut intuition, and sometimes clarification from the book to give properly holistic answers. I’ve read at parties and most recently for a non-profit fundraiser, so this is the next step in upping my game.

Prices

When I read you, you get to choose the deck, spread, and medium over which I give you your message. Note: I include a picture of your spread with every purchase, typed or over call!

3-card, Past-Present-Future spread, typed: $5

The most common tarot spread, used by just about everyone. It is quick but powerful, establishing the foundation of the issue at hand, the current situation and advice, and the likely outcome or the goal that should be sought.

10-card, Celtic Cross spread, typed: $15

Another more common, but much more intricate spread. This is a go-to for deep analysis of an issue or question, taking into account past and future, and internal and external factors, giving comprehensive understanding and advice.

3-card, over phone or Skype: $10

While I’m good at typing out what a spread means and that alone can be enough, sometimes what you need is a conversation. With this option, unlike the basic one, you’ll have the opportunity to ask follow up questions, get to clarify confusing aspects of the reading, expand upon your situation more, and get more of my personal insight. This conversation can go up to 10 minutes (but I’m usually flexible). As I don’t include a typed version, I recommend you have a notepad handy for any key points that come up.

10-card, over phone or Skype: $30

Same as the 3-card, only this conversation can go up to 30 minutes. This is really helpful when interpreting larger spreads as we can examine all of the intricacies and inter-card connections and have time to really get to the root of your answer.

You Choose / I Choose / Customize Your Spread: Priced as Appropriate

Let’s be honest, there are infinite tarot spreads out there. If you’re looking for something that can best tackle your specific question (relationship questions are a big example), you can either bring me a spread you’d like me to do, ask me to choose (or make!) one that I feel would work best, or we can work together to customize an old spread so that it fits your needs. These can be done in a single written piece or over a call just like the others.

And of course I won’t ask for extra if I feel the need to draw an extra card or go another few minutes into a call.

If these prices are too high for you (I understand the broke life well) but you’re still interested in my readings, give me a follow and stick around. As well as the general tarot posts and occasional witchy reblogs, I plan on doing sales and specials at least once a month (like the one at the end of this post!), and you might even score a free reading. Who knowwwws.

Contact Information

While you could send me a message through Tumblr, your most reliable method of contact is by emailing me at [email protected]. We can discuss your question, spread, pricing, and anything else needed, and I’ll give you the link to my paypal.me for when you’re ready to pay. So you’re aware, you’re free to email me about setting up a reading without making a commitment, but I will only draw cards after a full payment has been made.

Opening Deal!

From now until December 15th, anyone who reblogs this post gets 50% off their first reading of any kind. Yes, that includes video chat readings. Furthermore, anyone who correctly guesses my Sun Sign in the tags has a chance to win a free 3-card reading. I’ll draw three names on December 1st, feature your blogs in a post, and we can go back and forth through Tumblr messenger or by email figuring out your spread’s meaning.

Thank you for reading!

I hope my tarot knowledge is able to serve this community, that I’m able to help you all, and that I make some great friends along the way!

To see what decks I read with and to read my general policies and disclaimer, check the read more.

My Decks

From the Light Grey Art Labs, the Cosmos Tarot & Oracle Deck.

This deck has 78 tarot cards and 22 oracle cards, each individual card drawn by a different artist.

Each card is connected to an astrological story, and as such it gives the standard tarot meanings a very unique twist.

This deck’s Oracle cards are used to show motion, such as the pushing and pulling forces behind a spread’s message. You can add oracle cards to any spread for $1 per card.

The Wildwood Tarot

My first deck following my beginner’s edition, the Wildwood also takes a unique interpretation of the traditional Rider-Waite card meanings. The major arcana is shifted around a bit, and the cards are given a variety of possible interpretations. Full of Celtic and nature themes.

The Everyday Witch Tarot

This deck has incredibly clear, beautiful symbolism. It is very easy to read so you are sure to get an easy to understand message, although it may lack the depth another deck could give when dealing with a complex situation. Or, maybe having everything spelled out in easy terms is just what you need! This deck also does not read with reversals, which contributes to the theme of simplicity in readings.

The Linestrider Tarot

This deck is gorgeous and every card is made like a watercolor painting. It is very intuitive, and the book places a special emphasis on the meanings that arise when certain cards come up together. An introspective, emotional deck, with a book that takes standard tarot interpretations and deepens them to previously unknown levels.

For those interested, I also own the Gay Tarot and the Color Oracle, but I have to admit that I am less experienced in using them.

General Policies and Disclaimer

Understand that tarot is going to be what you make of it. Some people view it as magic, divination, and a way to predict the future or contact the inner voice. Others view it strictly as a tool to force the mind to shed light on over-familiar situations in new and unfamiliar ways. I cannot guarantee that my readings will accurately predict the future or even make sense. The more you work with what messages I give you, or the more information you give me to work with, the more a reading will make sense. Something that appeared to mean one thing may mean something else. Personal flexibility in your own interpretations is key to a satisfying reading. Sometimes, a reading can predict an event that has not come to pass or that has not been consciously realized yet. Meditate on the message, and maybe, whether spurred by an internal or external event, it will click.

Financially, what this comes down to is that I cannot offer refunds for unsatisfactory readings.

This should go without saying, but, should I read a negative event in the future, I am not personally responsible for that event coming to pass. While I doubt that tarot will ever show me a literal death, there are other negative events such as loss of a relationship, job, home, etc. that may come up in spreads. Be prepared for bad news just as much as good news.

Most importantly, I am not a certified mental health counselor or life advisor. My readings are to help you consider your own circumstances from another perspective and may encourage you to follow through with or think deeper on your plans. And again, my readings come from a spiritual background, not one of college education. Should the cards be encouraging you to take an action in your life, please consider all perspectives before doing something potentially risky. My cards and I are not responsible for negative circumstances that come about from a decision influenced by one of my readings. Really, this goes for all tarot readers.

I reserve the right to turn away clients for any reason, though it will almost always be because I believe their question is truly not suited for tarot or if they are asking essentially the same question multiple times in a row hoping for a better draw of the cards. Again, it is not my place to help you with problems affecting or that could affect your mental or physical health. If you’re heavily depressed, please talk to a doctor. If you’re at risk of harm from someone, please contact law enforcement. Yes, I’ve read myself on matters of mental and physical health, so if I do agree to a reading near any of these topics, understand that they are supplementary at best and that your main source of help should be from professionals in the relevant field.

Another thing that should go without saying: I can turn away anyone should I think, for any reason, that they are harassing me or even just being rude. My services are a space for zero negativity (excluding polite but negative reviews and constructive criticism - I’m not that harsh) directed at me and I will cut connections for the slightest appropriate reason.

Phew. All that stuff out of the way, I just want you to know that I want the best for you and that I’m going to interpret every spread from a perspective of what you can do to make whatever situation you’re in better, or even better! I’ll put love and understanding into every reading as much as I am able to.

And if you read this far? Triple thank you.

#tarot #tarot readings for sale #divination #tarot spreads #Jay's Tarot

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nekodracones · 5 years ago

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Why Evolution Runes should be a thing

Half an hour ago I was browsing the ever-present forums and reading through all the, uh, dramatics. Something something farm bases. New post popped up requesting the introduction of ‘rainbow stones’. Cat was tempted to pop in and reply. Cat saw an immediate forum CRACKDOWN on this poor nublet. Cat decides that forums do not support free speech and decides to retreat to her home ground. The Dumb Tumblr Blog.

First and foremost. I used to think eternal evolution stones were a terrible idea and agreed with everyone about how limited-time things should stay limited time, but as I thought about it more...well. It's indeed a terrible idea for the game, played as intended, but it's not that bad of an idea for where the game actually is right now. And that’s what PG devs should aim to tackle, before heading for the far off goal of an ideal game.

What’s the reality of War Dragons?

Too few viable dragons in an individual roster at any one time.

1. In general, not a lot of good dragons are released in each 3 month period. Half or more of each tier of lineage dragons are useless or unfeasible on real bases, and you’re not likely to see endgame-tier legendaries being used once their mythic counterparts come out. Of the mythics, it’s a rare tier where all three are good, useful dragons. People who aren’t at endgame won’t even need to worry about these endgame lineage dragons, too- they’ll be irrelevant by the time they breed them.

2. Legendaries are underpowered compared to mythics. This is reasonable; there should be some differentiation in power between legendaries and mythics, at least. But for the majority of the player base that only gets a single mythic every season, this means that they have...one viable dragon every season. For the people who don’t get mythics every season, this means that they need to hope that one of the legendaries will be viable, and they can gun for it. In higher tiers, it’s a rare player indeed who gets more than a single viable legendary dragon out of each season.

3. Single dragon meta. The prior two factors coalesce into....the reason why we mostly only see dragons A, B, and C on our defence logs. This means that base design is a very boring exercise. (not that it isn’t already! Tell me the last time the blue mage was relevant?) Combined with how recent dragons seem to need the same few setups to be defeated...it really becomes a test of defender/attacker skill instead of softer factors such as people using dragons that are more suited to taking X setup, where the same dragons might fail on a Y setup. (This is not to say that training attacker/defender skill is bad! A single setup/dragon meta is simply very boring, and most sense of strategy and variation in fights is lost. Ideally I’d like to see battles depend on more factors...but maybe that’s just a me thing.)

How do Evolution Runes help?

Until PG begins to release more viable dragons in each seasonal period, we can artificially increase the variation in dragon-base battles by giving past-season and lower tier dragons a chance to remain relevant for a longer period of time should players prefer said dragons.

1. Why do divines need to be designed with planned obsolescence in mind? Is PG not developing newer, shinier, competitive products every season? If they can’t compete, perhaps we should keep using the dragons we enjoy instead of forcing ourselves to use dragons that we do not like as much. Give PG a chance to attract our eyes again the next season.

2. Conversely, lately, I’ve heard a lot of people emit sighs of relief upon realising that maxed Gig now struggles with their bases. Before Gig, it was Namaka. Should planned obsolescence really rear it’s head in such a way, where unbalanced dragons are deemed irrelevant simply because you’ve outleveled them? I believe that it’s PG’s responsibility to design dragons well and pay attention to how defensible products are, be they old or new. Forcing them to pay attention to eternally evolving dragons such that they’re all balanced and good dragons would be nice, instead of letting PG forget about our dragons simply because ‘they’re irrelevant now’. Imagine Narlyth without the WOM glitch. Imagine Noctarn with destroyable monuments in Atlas.

3. Why can’t lineage dragons level up with you? There aren’t a lot of great ones, and the ones that are don’t deserve to be forgotten once a new tier comes out. The fact that you cannot level lineages up the same way you level divine dragons up is the sole reason why they are so forgotten by the 95% of the game who’s not at endgame, and since lineages of x tier are comparable but not excelling over divines of x tier, there’s honestly no reason to ever choose to invest time in learning a lineage dragon unless you think you’ll be stuck at that tier for a while, aka. you’re endgame.

4. More dragons, more possible base metas. More endgame dragons, more dragons to fly. More stuff, more fun.

5. The very fact that people are asking for rainbow stones demonstrates that there is a demand for more variety in gameplay. Certainly older dragons must be less relevant to today’s gameplay meta, and fall behind, even if they were endgame too, no...? Even so, people ask for older dragons to make their return all the time. Be it for nostalgia value, or because they actually prefer to fly those dragons, it doesn’t really matter. People asking for reboots of older dragons should be granted their wish- either they fly their dragons and realise it’s weaker than they remembered, or they find that it’s just as good as ever, which then begs the question of whether that dragon is unbalanced and requires tweaking, or recent dragon designs are simply....boring and unappealing to players.

Arguments against rainbow stones

1. Takes away PG revenue. This is obvious. If you have a dragon that lasts forever, why would you need to go after newer dragons? Solution: in the next section.

2. Quoted from Mod Kardul on the forums. This is a fair argument, but I’m also...not certain that people care about what tiers their divines are if they’re getting them as collectibles, unless they plan to actually fly them. Solution: Don’t give newer players a chance to obtain older divine dragons

3. Less incentive to finish a dragon within a season. Solution: Only allow evolution runes to be equipped to expert dragons.

4. Limited time is limited time. Sure, but...you can change the way you look at things. Sure evolution stones can be limited time up till the final stone available at the time. Evolution runes...don’t need to be. :D

So why runes and not stones?

Obviously there needs to be something to differentiate a true endgame dragon and an eternally-evolving one. A lot of people would lose motivation to go for the shiniest new mythic if they could just stick with their old favourites, which would lose PG money. How could this suggestion be actionable?

1. Runes take up rune slots on a dragon. At high levels of gameplay, these runes matter. Using an evolution rune on a dragon would take up a slot and handicap said dragon; a handicap that many may nevertheless find worth it, but will encourage endgame players to continue looking for true endgame dragons to preferentially play with instead. It would definitely help if rune effects were buffed such that the removal of a single rune would be noticeable in a dragon’s performance.

2. Make stones from mythics convertible to general evolution runes. All stones on a full mythic divine= a single mythic-tier evolution rune up till the highest tier of stone converted, equippable on any rarity of dragon. All stones on a full legendary divine= a single legendary-tier evolution rune up until the highest tier of stone converted, equippable on legendary dragons and weaker, etc. This not only makes new dragons relevant to collect, but also serves as a guarantee= if you don’t like a dragon, you can convert it into a rune and put it on a dragon you actually like. At the same time, there’s an element of sacrifice= do you want to sacrifice two dragons to produce a single viable dragon?

3. Unrelated, but I’d really like to see dragon-specific runes and glyphs not take up rune slots. It would make divines more valuable than lineages, as only they have dragon-specific runes in their lines, incentivising people to go for them.

All in all I just really want...more variety, man. If PG can make that happen without having to resort to my idea, I’d be jumping for joy. But it honestly feels like them designing more sensible, viable dragons would be harder than just letting us all use old dragons while they work on that.

...---...

I...may actually be self posting this one straight to the forums in the hopes that people can actually see this post? If the thread gets locked, please feel free to drop a message in my ask box so I can still respond here, I guess. It’s anonymous unless you choose to sign in, and you don’t need to. :)

The thread, for reference.

#idea #catpost #opinion #rainbow stones!!!#loooooooong post #other #maingame

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rimarzaarts · 7 years ago

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1-6 for apprentice meme

This is very long, Under a cut!

1) Your apprentice was brought along to one of the masquerades with a friend, who promptly ditched them ten minutes into it. What happened? How do they react?

Chances are the person Cerys went with asked her as a last resort, one of her classmates, maybe. She’s used to that sort of treatment. Of course, she’s excited she even has someone to go with, so she’s all smiles up until they slip out of her arm and find someone more interesting to be with.

She makes excuses at first as to why they’re gone. Maybe they went to the toilet and she didn’t hear them mention it. Maybe they needed some fresh air after being in the humid ballroom for too long.

That all would change after she see’s them leaning into the touch of another. The dull sting of betrayal sits between her shoulders, aching. She would make sure they knew what they’ve done. Standing directly in their view she makes her presence known without saying a word.

If my night is going to be ruined, so is yours.

2) Does your apprentice get flustered over anything? What make them flustered? Do they turn red? Stumble over words?

She’s hanging herbs on a drying rack when Asra returns from a brief trip to the market. her shoulders tense as the drag of a long stem cuts into her hair and settles behind her right ear.

“What’s this?” her hand shoots up to brush against satin petals.

“I saw this and thought of you.” he snaps his long fingers and presents her with a white peony, identical to the one he just placed behind her ear.

Suddenly, everything but his eyes deserve attention. “How um, ni- uh, no- thoughtful” she steals a glance at his wicked grin and her face begins to burn. “of you, that is- um thanks.”

He takes her hand and plants a small kiss on the back of it before wrapping her fingers around the stem. “Anytime.”

3) How would your apprentice handle being so close to something that they desperately want, only to have it ripped away? What was it?

Denial. She wasn’t trying hard enough. She pushes harder on the magic hiding the face of someone dear. It pulls away.

Again. Sharp pains prick behind her ears as she tries to close the distance between herself and the memory.

“I’m closer now.” The small pricks of pain become pails of agonizing pressure, sure to make her head split in two.

But something shifts and suddenly she’s falling back down. The spell is broken.

Screeching fills her ears and suddenly she’s back in reality. Tilly is shrieking in her crossed legs, wings flapping erratically. The chalk circle drawn around her is disrupted, likely destroyed in Tilly’s fit.

She would have scolded her had it been any other spell, but the desperate look in the white owl’s onyx eyes spill with tears shed of fear. Tilly had been protecting her, despite how badly she had wanted to see that memory.

Shaking shoulders fall forward to cradle the bird into a tight embrace. She presses her face into her feathers and sobs until sleep overtakes them both.

4) Talk about your Apprentices’ self-esteem

(this is soon after she got ditched at the masquerade.)

She ignored the stares of the partons as she made her way past their incredulous stares. It was too far to walk home after the disaster that was her exit from the masquerade, so she holed up in the bathroom at an empty pub.

“Pathetic.” She breathes as she glimpsed at her disheveled self in the mirror above a brass sink. Her cheeks were flush and her eyes puffy.

“I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.” she whispers to herself. “I must’ve embarrassed them.”

She recalls their responses from the night. The way they practically had to drag themselves beside her. “But… they were being a poor date.”

Her mind returns to when they entered together, how tightly she clinged to their arm, practically suffocating them in her excitement. “Maybe it was me. I must’ve been too forward,”

Or… she remembers how easily they drifted so easily into another’s arms, how easily they could disregard her existence. “Or maybe, I just didn’t matter.”

(Yeah, her self esteem is shit.)

5) What’s one physical flaw about themselves that they hate? Do they have a reason for hating it?

“The sun is blazing hot today,” Wipes his brow with his free hand, the other shifts over one of the heavy curtains letting the light breeze filter into the shop. “Yet you insist on wearing a cardigan.”

“It doesn’t bother me.” Cerys doesn’t meet his gaze as she presses the cool flask against her cheek, her eyes closing as she savors the chill. Her breath is shallow.

Asra’s eyebrows raise. “Really?” he deadpans. Shaking his head lightheartedly, he makes his way over to her and playfully tugs a bit at her cardigan, the fabric falls away, revealing stark lines of silver scars. Her hand immediately pulls it back in place. He huffs at her response. “Cerys, come on. You look like you’re going to faint.”

“I’m fine, quit slacking.” She swats him away before turning to reorganize one of the cabinets.

She never makes it to the cabinet, though. A surge overtakes her and she is suddenly seeing the floor rush up to her. Before she can react, strong arms reach around her waist and cradle her as she and Asra sink down to the floor together. He quickly takes the nearest flat item and begins fanning her.

“Cerys!” Asra’s eyes are wide, filled with a fear that she feels is familiar. “Are you okay?”

She doesn’t answer. Responding only with the weak attempt to remove the cardigan. Asra takes the fabric and slides it away. A cold breeze forms as he blows an ice spell onto the makeshift fan. They fall into a tense silence.

“It’s ugly, isn’t it?” she whispers, almost inaudibly.

Asra reels his head back in confusion. “What is?”

“The scars. I didn’t want you to see them.” his eyes fell to the silver veins creeping along the top of her shoulders and down her inner arm. He already knew that these stretch marks were there, he’d seen them before but she doesn’t remember that.

He traces them with a long finger then leans down to kiss her shoulder where one of the veins ends. “They’re beautiful, they’re part of you.”

6) Do they have a personality shift depending upon certain people? Who does it change for and how so?

Nadia and Portia had been brilliant company during the lunch Nadia had organized for the three of them. Cerys couldn’t help but maintain a bounce in her step as she and Portia made their way back to the library to continue her research. The two exchanged silly stories about their animal companions all the way back.

Just as Portia reached the gag in her tale of Pepi vs. Camio a short blue feathered chamberlain cleared his throat “Lady Vinatia.” Cerys winced at the title but nodded for him to continue. “Consul Valerius wishes to speak with you.”

Her face scrunches up and she lets out a long heavy sigh that almost sounded like a hiss. “What is it that he wants and can it be guaranteed that he won’t spill wine on it?” Portia lets out a muffled chuckle before covering it up with a convincing cough.

The chamberlain grins, amused. “I cannot guarantee the lack of wine, but I can tell you that he wishes to discuss guard rotations, he wants your input to sooner catch the doctor.”

Subconsciously, she glances over to Portia whose face is a perfect mask of tranquility. Yet the dull, unseeing haze clouding her eyes and clenched jaw is all too revealing of her concern.

“I’ll go, thank you for telling me.” she excuses him briskly and turns to see Portia standing with her hands clasped and eyes threatening to spill.

“Valerius won’t find Julian, not if I can help it.” Cerys sets her hand on her upper arm, comforting the handmaiden.

She sniffles a bit. “Is that not what you’re here for?”

“I’m here to find the person who killed the count. I’ve yet to find sustainable evidence that says “Julian did it.”” the magician pats her arm once more, then sets off to find Valerius.

“Don’t waste your time getting guards to patrol that area.” Cerys bites at Valerius as he downs the last of his glass.

He stands to pour more wine for himself. “Why not? The area is filled with abandoned buildings, dark alleys, and that pub, the Rowdy Raven, it’s filled with criminals. I say he’d been right at home there.”

Cerys moves to the opposite side of the table, ensuring there is always a structure between the two of them. “Jul- The Doctor, has a bounty on his head, no?” she turns a document around on the desk and reads the list of guard rotations, all of them are poorly assigned.

“Yes.” he draws out the word as if recalling its merit.

“Would an area filled with criminals who’d do anything for money be the best place for a man with a royal bounty to go?” she challenges him, her mouth turned down in an irritated frown.

He takes a long drink from his glass and stops to let it sit in his mouth before he swallows. “I suppose it wouldn’t.”

Cerys perks up. “Perfect! Then we’re done here.” She rushes to the door. “It was a pleasure to see you again, Consul. I hope this collaboration was informational enough so that we never have to speak again.” with a loud thud from the door she leaves Valerius confused and slightly offended.

#long post #the arcana #apprentice asks #oc: cerys #asra #asra x apprentice #asra x mc #julain devorak #portia devorak #countess nadia #consul valerius #rimarza #rimarza writes #heyyo i did drabbles but honestly what is a word count #everything is either too long or too short

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shannaraisles · 7 years ago

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Headcanons Thingy

So ... I saw this post, and thought why not really go for it? It's not like I have fics to update or anything, right? Right?

I present ...

Headcanons for Rory/Cullen

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other? To be honest, they're both as bad as each other. Rory is far more impulsive and a lot less practical when it comes to spending, though - she'll see a charm that makes her think of Cullen, and she'll buy it; a plushie that she thinks would make him smile, she buys it; a joke hat that gently pokes fun at his bad habit of working way too hard, out comes the gold. (Bonus headcanon: Cullen may not wear or display what she buys for him, but he keeps it all in a safe place and has been known to wear all of it just to make her giggle if she's had a bad day.)

Cullen can't help being practical, but he's still more likely to spend money on her than on himself. He's responsible for the partitioned satchel that holds all her work supplies neatly and in order; the chalkboard she uses to write up her to-do list; the good winter boots that she was always "going" to get for herself. On the rare occasion she manages to buy something useful for herself, her money pouch somehow mysteriously regains the coin she paid for it, too.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap? Just going by size, it would have to be Rory sleeping in Cullen's lap. That doesn't mean that she intends to fall asleep there; it's far more likely that she's been working too long, and he pulled her into his lap to make her stop and take a moment for herself. She feels so safe around him, it's easy to just drift off, and naturally, he'll put her to bed once she starts snoring.

But ... there are times when Rory can get Cullen away from work, when he relaxes and lays his head in her lap, and she can virtually guarantee that he will pass out for a little while, his arms wrapped about her waist and his face pressed against her stomach, her fingers stroking through his hair. She never complains about the awkward position; just pulls out her book and settles in to pass the time while he dozes in her lap.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes? Cullen's the culprit here. In their own space, where he knows they have privacy, he'll wander around shirtless and barefoot when he's just woken up - the man is virtually impervious to the cold, anyway! Rory, though, doesn't yell at him to put some clothes on. She's too busy enjoying the view, and relishing the fact that he's forgotten to be the staid commander for once.

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway? Rory is constantly telling Cullen to look after himself, and that includes getting to bed on time. He doesn't mean to ignore her, but if the work is there and needs doing, he forgets the time, so used to powering through headaches and weariness that he barely seems to notice that everyone else went to bed hours ago. (Bonus headcanon: Rory won't let him stay up all night. After midnight, if he's still working, she'll shuffle down to his office and stare at him pointedly until he gets the hint and comes to bed.)

Cullen doesn't bother telling Rory not to stay up all night. If he thinks she's working too long, and that she isn't necessary to her staff, he's been known to just go into her infirmary and pull her bodily out through the door. If she argues, he throws her over his shoulder. The man has no chill when it comes to Rory looking after herself!

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies? Rory is definitely the failed cook. Even with a recipe in front of her, carefully annotated by a friend who actually knows how to cook, she will invariably burn it all. Hours of prep down the drain because she got distracted reading a medical textbook (or the next chapter of Swords and Shields), and she will always, without fail, burst into tears at her abject failure.

And it's usually about this time that Cullen walks in, takes one look at the disaster zone, and has to try really hard not to laugh at the silly image presented. He's not a particularly inventive cook himself, but he's learned how to make cookies and cakes purely so that he can guide her through how to bake something with success and make her smile again. (Bonus headcanon: the kitchen staff in Skyhold have got so used to seeing the commander leading his dejected wife in through the door by one hand that these days they direct him to the oven they're not using and hand Rory one of the castle cats to cheer her up.)

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”? Again, Rory's the one who does the reading, but she rarely declares that out loud. She does, however, put it as a question. For example ... "Cul, if we were going to rob a museum, do you think I'd be the one doing all the work?" "Sweeting, if you were the one doing all the work, I would be the one bailing us both out of jail."

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes? They both do. Okay, that needs explanation.

Rory wears Cullen's discarded shirts to bed every night, regardless of weather and the fact that he keeps pointing out she has her own nightclothes. Cullen wears Rory's scarf in winter - that started as a way to remind himself to give it to her, but he found the scent of her wrapped close to his nose so comforting, he "forgot".

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?” Again, they both do. The only difference is that when Rory says, "You remembered [thing], right?", Cullen immediately nods and produces whatever it is from wherever he's stashed it. When Cullen asks, Rory will blush, swear, and immediately turn around and go back out to get whatever it is she's forgotten. Usually with Cullen close on her heels to make sure she doesn't get distracted and pick up something they will never use instead.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions? When Cullen drives, Rory is allowed to read the map, even if he never actually takes any of the directions she gives him. She genuinely finds this funny, and has been known to give out ridiculous directions just to see if he'll realize what she's up to.

When Rory drives ... Cullen spends most of his time clinging to the door and his seat, and stamping on the imaginary brake. Rory isn't allowed to drive very often.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws? Rory does the posing. Cullen just doesn't have the patience to pose and be still for hours on end while being the sole beneficiary of her attention. He'd much rather be involved, although very little drawing would happen.

Rory, on the other hand, would quite happily pose however he likes for as long as he likes. It may be slightly embarrassing to begin with, but there's something about the way he looks at her when he's sketching that makes her very eager not to interrupt.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips? Cullen would be the one doing the work, though he'd be more likely to park Rory outside while he went in and did everything. It isn't that he doesn't trust her ... she's just clumsiness personified, and he'd much rather get in and out without breaking anything more than is absolutely necessary.

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking? Cullen's the one keeping an eye on her intake. While yes, Rory is very affectionate when she's tipsy - and he loves that - one drink too far turns her into a maudlin goblin who has horrific nightmares and no idea where the chamberpot is. He's discreet about it, though; if she's reaching that point, she'll notice suddenly that the last drink he got her seems to be mainly juice, or is even just straight water. She's stopped complaining about it, however.

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts? I mentioned Cullen's box, right? Rory has no impulse control when it comes to buying him gifts. His box is close to overflowing with little presents, be they serious or jokey, and despite his sometimes resigned smile when she produces yet another gift for him, he loves the fact that she can't stop seeing him everywhere she goes. Every single one of those gifts is a reminder that, even when they're apart, she's never truly away from him.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own? Well, both living in a culture that doesn't really put much store in last names, this doesn't really come up. Rory does sometimes forget to respond to her last name when it's used, but that doesn't really have anything to do with the question in hand. Cullen, on the other hand, positively glows when someone calls her Rutherford.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside? Rory screams. In fact, she not only screams, she hides. She hates spiders with a vengeance, but cannot bring herself to approach them at all. So Cullen is the one who has to go and fetch out the teeny, tiny money spider and very carefully set it free. He then has to prove to her that it is definitely gone before she'll come out of hiding.

16: Which one gives the other their jacket? Cullen hands over his mantle whenever he feels Rory needs it. It doesn't have to be cold for her to need to be wrapped up in that bear-fur cuddly; he's been known to use his mantle as substitute for a hug while he gets something else done before devoting his time to her.

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling? Rory doesn't have an older sibling, but her best friend, Ria, would definitely be the one giving out threats, usually about dreadful things happening to Cullen's manhood should anything negative happen to her friend because of him. Given that Ria is five foot and a fart, and has the musculature of a thirteen-year-old, they aren't particularly scary threats, but Cullen accepts them with a serious expression, nods, and agrees that his testicles are forfeit in the event of unpleasantness. The fact that he doesn't even smirk drives Ria up the wall, too.

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other? Surprisingly, Cullen. He's so focused on his work that it seems odd that he would even notice he was falling for the healer who keeps prodding at him to look after himself, but he's actually had his eye on her a lot longer than she realizes. By the time Cullen actually brings himself to say it aloud, he's already thinking of her in terms of the woman he loves, rather than the woman he has fallen in love with. It's a very present, real feeling for him, and his declaration is never the romantic moment he'd hope for. Luckily for him, Rory answers in kind, no matter how it happens.

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting? I think they'd be reasonably good at it. With his healthy childhood, and good personal examples, Cullen has a very good baseline to start from. He'd definitely be an affectionate, encouraging father, but with discipline as well. He might occasionally be impatient or frustrated, but he would make sure that he never said anything in the heat of the moment that could be damaging. He's also definitely aware enough to apologize to his child for any mistakes he makes as and when they happen.

Rory's background means she has a good grasp on what not to do. Like Cullen, she's got the discipline thing down, and she loves being silly and having fun, as well. She's got a lot of love to give a child (or children!). (Bonus headcanon: Cullen makes room for the little one in their bed when it's too early to get up yet, lifting them up and into the warm space between him and Rory. He falls back to sleep, and Rory tells stories with their child under the blankets until Cullen wakes up properly and declares it's time for breakfast.)

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters? Cullen is such a perfectionist, he always has perfect grammar and spelling, and his handwriting is beautiful, even when its rushed. Rory, on the other hand, is just happy if her writing is legible. Spelling and grammar happen to other people. Cullen teases her about it constantly.

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them? Rory puts up with a lot of verbal shit, but you can bet if Cullen hears it going on, he'll be down on the shit-stirrer like a ton of bricks. Big protective man that he is. She doesn't need to be protected - she needs to be reassured, more than anything - but she knows he sometimes needs to be her hero, too.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun? Rory makes the puns. All the puns. Whenever she can, which isn't all that often, to be fair. Cullen does laugh, on occasion, but sometimes ... yeah, that pained little smile of his does tell a thousand-word story when the joke about seeing stars comes out for the umpteenth time.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy? Rory comes home to find the mabari. Absolutely. Cullen might not have intended to bring him home with him, but there he is, and even though she's a bit nervous of dogs in general, he's just so happy to have a mabari of his own, she can't possibly be put out or angry with him. She does have to put her foot down when the dog tries to sleep in the bed with them, though, so Cullen has to spend an hour putting the dog to bed before he can settle in for the night himself.

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired? No piggyback rides for these two. Cullen's preferred method of carrying Rory around when she's tired is to cradle her against his chest; when she's being stubborn, it's over his shoulder. And it's not just him who does the carrying - she may be smaller than him, but Rory is a healer. She can lift the commander over her shoulders, whether he really wants her to prove it or not.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering? When Cullen spars and Rory has the time to watch, she is a one-woman cheering squad, and completely unselfconscious about it. The first time she cheered him on, it was distracting enough that he lost, but he's since got used to hearing her yell his name and variations on the theme of "kick his/her/it onto that bony arse"!

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder? Rory takes the selfie. She falls asleep on his shoulder far more often than Cullen falls asleep on hers, but he'd never dream of taking advantage of that fact to get her in an unguarded pose. He's way too concerned about disturbing her by moving. Conversely, she thinks he is absolutely adorable when he sleeps draped over her, so she has to get it for posterity. And for future teasing.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked? Neither one of them would ask! If pushed, Rory might ask Cullen's opinion on what she should wear if they were invited to a swanky do, but his only contribution would be to suggest what color she should wear (blue is his favorite color on her, for reference). If Rory's opinion is ever sought on what Cullen should wear, she can say whatever she likes, because she knows he won't take a blind bit of notice and just wear what he always wears to such things.

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of? I wouldn't say Rory is terrified of the mabari, but she's not mad about him, either. Cullen adores his dog, and rightly so, but Rory's definitely not instantly comfortable with having a wardog in the house. Cullen is oblivious to this; she doesn't mention it to him. (Bonus headcanon: the dog wins her over by continually bringing her treasures he finds around and about. Not even Rory can hold out against a cheerful mabari on a mission to make her like him.)

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains? Rory holds the umbrella. Cullen will just put up with being rained on, far more likely to tuck her underneath his mantle to keep her dry while he gets soaked. So she's the one who puts up the umbrella, and deliberately holds it high enough over his head to shelter him without it getting in his way. In theory, it's over her as well, but she gets soaked too. They're both as bad as each other.

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures? Neither one of them is comfortable to just spend their time idle, no matter how beautiful the place is, so a vacation would likely be just a holiday from their respective duties. Visiting the South Reach and Cullen's family, where they can throw themselves into the daily routine of the farms alongside Mia and Branson and Rosalie - Cullen tending the fields and animals, Rory finally learning how to cook a decent meal and playing with the children. It's more about getting them away from the life or death decisions they both have to make every single day at Skyhold. And if there are pictures to be taken? I'm guessing Mia and Rosalie are the ones taking them.

Well, that taught me a scary amount about Cullen/Rory. One day, I may drop them into a Modern AU just to see what happens.

#headcanons #rory/cullen #cullen rutherford #rory allen #dragon age

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sawcolor91-blog · 5 years ago

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What to Look for in a Good Quality Fish Oil

This post is from contributing writer Leah Vachani, CNC, of Lunch with Leah.

One of the most frequent questions I get as a nutritionist is, “what is a good fish oil to buy?” Don’t feel bad if you are also wondering what and how to figure this out. The nutritional supplement world is confusing even to healthcare professionals!

Let’s dig into the details of what fish oil is, why you should take it, and mostly – how the heck to choose a good one!

What Does Fish Oil Do?

Fish oil is basically the fatty oil taken from fish and purified to remove everything except the beneficial Omega 3 fats found in fish. Studies show that consuming adequate amounts of Omega 3s may help fight depression and anxiety, improve eye health, promote brain health and growth in pregnancy and early childhood, improve risk factors for heart disease, reduce symptoms of ADHD in children, fight inflammation, improve mental disorders, and so much more. (See all the supporting studies linked to these benefits here).

Omega 3 fatty acids found in fish and other marine and land animals are considered essential fatty acids, which means that we cannot manufacture them ourselves, we need to obtain them in our diets. This is incredibly important for brain development in utero and young children. Research has repeatedly linked low levels of the omega-3 fatty acid DHA to neurodevelopmental disorders including autism and ADHD. This is why most Obstetricians are recommending that pregnant women take DHA supplements. Ideally, a couple would be taking Omega 3 supplements preconception.

What are the Benefits of Fish Oil?

Can’t I just take plant based Omega 3s?

Well, no. Plant sources DO contain Omega 3s, but they are in the form ALA. The human body is incredibly inefficient at converting ALA into DHA and EPA, which are the forms that the body can use.

Why do I need EPA + DHA?

Omega 3 fats in the EPA and DHA forms are needed by the body to use as cell membrane components. These super flexible essential fats act as gatekeepers to each cell membrane, regulating nutrients and waste product entry and exit.

If the body doesn’t have sufficient intake of these specific Omega 3 fats, it will use other fats like trans fats and saturated fats. Unfortunately, saturated fats, trans fats, and other non-Omega-3 fats are more stiff in nature and can’t act as good gatekeepers to the cell.

Cell membranes with poor levels of Omega 3 fats are less responsive to hormones, including insulin sensitivity, and can’t shuttle nutrients in and out as effectively. Think of it like this: Imagine if your cell membranes were like a house, and the windows and doors were the way in and out of the cell. If you have a poor diet low in Omega 3s and high in other fats then your “house” will have doors and windows that are barred shut.

Does Fish Oil Help Concussions?

Katie recently wrote about her experience when her son suffered a concussion. She learned that not only are Omega 3’s essential in healing the brain they can help you strengthen your overall brain health which in turn could prevent concussions.

Can I Just Eat Fish?

Yes! If you are consuming roughly 2-3 servings of fatty fish per week (as recommended by The American Heart Association) like salmon, mackerel, herring, sardines, and tuna you may not need to supplement. However, I find most people are not eating this much fish and they are consuming far too many Omega 6 fats from vegetable oils thus making their body skewed towards a pro-inflammatory state. Therefore, fish oil can supplement a low-fish diet and rebalance a person’s Omega 3 to Omega 6 ratio.

How to Buy a “Good” Fish Oil Supplement

Avoid contaminants in Fish Oil

Many fish species are known to contain contaminants like mercury, PCBs, and dioxins. However, when you eat fish you are also consuming nutrients like selenium that bond to heavy metals like mercury and make it unavailable for absorption into your tissues.

When you buy fish oil, protective nutrients like selenium have been removed. So, you need to make sure that the other contaminants have either been mostly or completely removed as well.

How do you know this? Read on…

Look for quality assurance from trusted 3rd party testing

USP Mark

Governmental fish oil quality standards do not exist in the United States, but all dietary supplements are regulated by the FDA through the DSHEA act of 1994 and The United States Pharmacopeia (USP). For products carrying the USP Verified Mark, USP has tested and verified ingredients, potency, and manufacturing processes.

Above and beyond the USP Mark

Just because a fish oil bottle doesn’t show the USP Verified Mark doesn’t mean it’s bad! Many reputable fish oil companies will go above and beyond the USP mark and abide by more stringent and voluntary standards. These standards also guarantee quality products by setting maximum allowances on peroxides, heavy metals, dioxins, and PCBs, and are often far lower than the limits set by USP.

List of 3rd party certifications to look for:

(This is not all-inclusive but lists the most common certifiers.)

It is interesting to note that The International Fish Oil Standards (IFOS) Program is the only third-party testing and certification program for fish oils. IFOS sets the world’s highest standards for purity, potency, and freshness. Since 2015, they’ve even started testing for radiation levels after the Fukushima disaster. They don’t make fish oil, they only test it and publish the results free to the public. You can see if your fish oil passes the stringent testing here.

Certificate of Analysis for Fish Oil

As I mentioned before, there is no quality standard in the USA for fish oil. That’s why if you are questioning the legitimacy of a nutrition label and the contents of the supplement, it is essential that you ask for something called a Certificate of Analysis (COA) from the manufacturer before you buy their product. A COA is an analysis performed by an independent lab to measure the ingredients of a product and confirm whether it lives up to the claims made by the manufacturer. Most companies are happy to provide this when asked.

For example, when I looked up the COA for Nordic Naturals, it is clearly provided right here so the consumer can simply enter the lot number and get the results.

Interestingly, when I called Kirkland to get a COA for their fish oil they said they don’t give that out. I was referred to their website where it declares the “purity levels for PCBs, dioxins, furans, and mercury are below .09 ppm, 2ppt WHO TEQs and 0.1 ppm respectively.” Umm, great but consumers have a right to know EXACTLY how much mercury is in their fish oil, even if it is parts per gazillion.

It’s a red flag when a supplement company is withholding of information. It’s always best to stick with open and upfront companies who are happy to provide full transparency.

Do you see how confusing it can all be? To ease any fish oil quality concerns, a powerful combination of quality 3rd party testing and a COA can help assure the potency and purity of a fish oil product. In my opinion, getting an IFOS 5-star review is enough assurance!

cGMP

Fish oil supplements should be made and packaged only in facilities that have been certified in Current Good Manufacturing Practices (or CGMPs), which are strictly monitored for safety.

Can I Test Purity by Freezing Fish Oil Capsules?

No, this is a myth seemingly propagated by certain supplement companies. Good quality fish oil supplements can look cloudy when frozen.

Sustainability

Try to buy fish oil that is certified by the MSC, the Environmental Defense Fund or a similar organization. Small fish with short lifespans tend to be more sustainable.

Shelf life of Fish Oil – shorter is better

2 years or less is best.

Is Liquid Fish Oil Better than FishOil Capsules or Vice Versa?

Not really. If you are buying a good quality fish oil, then it is more a matter of personal preference.

The advantage to taking liquid is that you can get a higher dose of Omega 3s without having to swallow too many capsules. The cons to liquid fish oil are that some people have issues with the smell, taste or consistency. An open bottle can also oxidize (go rancid) faster so make sure you use it consistently and in a timely manner.

The advantage of taking the capsules is no smell or taste. Some capsules are even enteric coated to help keep the capsule from being dissolved until it reaches the small intestines. This is common in fish oil capsules, as it often prevents fish burps. However, it can also mask the foul smell of rancid fish oil. If you take omega-3 capsules, it may be a good idea to open one from time to time and smell it in order to make sure it hasn’t gone rancid. The disadvantage of capsules is usually a higher cost per serving.

Potency & Dose of Fish Oil

The recommended dose

A standard daily dose of EPA + DHA is around 1,000-2,000 mg. A therapeutic dose is usually around 2,000 mg of EPA + DHA or more.

How to read the label – potency matters

As you can see in the infographic below, it’s important to read the label on the back of the bottle because the front can be deceiving.

Front Label – Says 1000 mg fish oil. You think, great! 1-2 capsules per day for a standard dose. WRONG!

Back label – Here is where we see the truth. If you stopped reading at the front label you would never know that the back label says you are only getting 500 mg of Omega 3s in TWO capsules. That is only 25% of what you thought you were getting (a 2,000 mg dose). To get 1,000-2,000 mg of EPA + DHA you would have to take 4-8 capsules per day. I know, not likely to happen.

Summary

When buying any supplement, but especially fish oil, ask yourself these questions in order to ensure that you are buying a good quality nutritional supplement:

Has an independent scientific authority verified product purity and quality, providing a third-party seal of approval on the package?

Has it been tested for the absence of harmful levels of known, potential contaminants?

Was it produced at a facility that meets or exceeds government and industry standards for good manufacturing practices (GMPs)?

Does the label make claims that seem too good to be true?

If you can answer ‘yes’ to the first 3 questions and ‘no’ to the last one, then you are probably getting good quality stuff.

A quick reference

A short list of fish oil companies that are commonly found, meet all the requirements and standards to be considered “good quality”, AND provide a decent potency of fish oil/capsule.

Keep in mind, this is not an all-inclusive list! In fact, it’s very short and I’m sure there are other great fish oil supplements that are not listed here. Once again, do your own research to be sure!

Disclaimer: Before starting any new diet and exercise program please check with your doctor and clear any exercise and/or diet changes with them. I am not a doctor or registered dietitian. The information presented herein is not presented with the intention of diagnosing or treating any disease or condition. This information is for educational purposes only. No responsibility is assumed by the author nor anyone connected with this website for the use of this information and no guarantees of any kind are made for the performance or effectiveness of the recommendations provided.

Source: https://www.kitchenstewardship.com/fish-oil-faq/

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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exposure441-blog · 5 years ago

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#1. Proof of pedophilia, and zoophilia in response to a staff journal post

Hey Dust, Hey Lykke, really enjoying our chats here. Suuuuuper healthy and all. I just figured Id chime in about your recent post in the TG staff journal. Ill try to make a nice informative essay about everything you got wrong. Lets start with the first problem. You mention my "mental health issues" quite a lot in this very short post. I don't understand why really, unless youre trying to gaslight me into believing Im wrong, or scare other people into thinking Im a crazy person. I would like to say that by my own standards, Im better than a full grown adult who writes posts like this on his werewolf forum. Second, you say "He blames TG for what happened to him." This implies that Im wrongly accusing you of being the cause of the problem. I do believe you were the cause of the problem, maybe a little bit more investigating should have gone into greenlighting your "special memebers" but you clearly covered your ass with the multiple quotes you scatter everyone of your own staff saying Rew was a great guy. Good job bud. The very next sentence you say "He also blames TG staff for things that never happened." This is the most interesting one, as I have screenshots and can secure more proof of these things, but I feel like I cannot do this safely due to your head admins very violent, uncontrolled nature. I listened to him boast about his shooting capabilities and mass gun collection for years, but I honestly don't think he'll do anything seeing he blocked me when I tried to get him to face it :( So, the attached images are some screenshots of all I have left, since I deleted farther back history after freaking out about what Id fallen into. The third thing is your failure of basic math. It happened when I was 12, Im 17 now. 17-12=5, Dusty, you fucking retard. I guarantee you both proofread this journal entry so that makes it even worse. Next, you claim someone is leaking information to me, since you think Im too stupid to cook an account on my own. Go find them, I have 4 in total. Itll be like a cool little witchhunt. It's ok if you find them though, Ill just make more lol your site security is quite old. Next you talk about trying to help me move on, but say you cant reach me. Your head admin blocked me on hangouts, feel free to reach me there at anytime. You wrap up your post saying it will never happen again, which I think is a terrible way to pat your own back. I guarantee it will happen again with the site run by Lykke himself. Its certainly not fixable, Dust, but Ill be sure to make your life as miserable as mine was until I do fix it.

After I reported Rew, I was left with a pretty bad case of Stockholm syndrome. He'd groomed me into missing everything that happened, and due to home issues I wasn't very close to my dad at all. He'd filled this gap, temporarily, and very painfully, but it was filled. After he was reported, I got very close to Lycan as he was the one I'd reported him to originally. Hed talk to me when I felt hurt, and try to console me the best I could. This eventually led to us getting very close, and me asking if he could try to recreate what had happened between Rew and I. He accepted and we did some light sexting/roleplay. This soon spiraling into more frequent sexting, harsher kinks and discussion of bestiality. At the time, I thought this was completely ok since my first introduction to sex had been with a 20 year old pedophile. However, I see now that this was not ok, and that Lycan should have used better judgment. Im ok with pushing the blame onto him in this manner because I was 13-14 at the time, and was fresh out of an abusive relationship. Like I said I dont have earlier chat records due to deleting them in a panic because Id believed my parents had found out, but I know things never truley disappear on the internet. The real chat logs can be brought up in court. The few images I have attached are what I could get from the chat logs that were left. You can see very casual discussion of sex and dead obvious mentions of bestiality.

bestiality 1

http://tinyimg.io/i/z0dZr6u.jpg

bestiality 2

http://tinyimg.io/i/mEmplEN.jpg

bestiality 3

http://tinyimg.io/i/xsu6W5y.jpg

sexual discussions

http://tinyimg.io/i/sScKJPe.jpg

http://tinyimg.io/i/aPlqDrG.jpg

http://tinyimg.io/i/SKxHMTh.jpg

If anyone believes these chat logs have been faked, please show me a better way to prove they are not.

#exposure411

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waterkick15-blog · 6 years ago

Text

What to Look for in a Good Quality Fish Oil

This post is from contributing writer Leah Vachani, CNC, of Lunch with Leah.

Let’s dig into the details of what fish oil is, why you should take it, and mostly – how the heck to choose a good one!

What Does Fish Oil Do?

What are the Benefits of Fish Oil?

Can’t I just take plant based Omega 3s?

Well, no. Plant sources DO contain Omega 3s, but they are in the form ALA. The human body is incredibly inefficient at converting ALA into DHA and EPA, which are the forms that the body can use.

Why do I need EPA + DHA?

Does Fish Oil Help Concussions?

Can I Just Eat Fish?

How to Buy a “Good” Fish Oil Supplement

Avoid contaminants in Fish Oil

When you buy fish oil, protective nutrients like selenium have been removed. So, you need to make sure that the other contaminants have either been mostly or completely removed as well.

How do you know this? Read on…

Look for quality assurance from trusted 3rd party testing

USP Mark

Above and beyond the USP Mark

List of 3rd party certifications to look for:

(This is not all-inclusive but lists the most common certifiers.)

Certificate of Analysis for Fish Oil

For example, when I looked up the COA for Nordic Naturals, it is clearly provided right here so the consumer can simply enter the lot number and get the results.

It’s a red flag when a supplement company is withholding of information. It’s always best to stick with open and upfront companies who are happy to provide full transparency.

cGMP

Fish oil supplements should be made and packaged only in facilities that have been certified in Current Good Manufacturing Practices (or CGMPs), which are strictly monitored for safety.

Can I Test Purity by Freezing Fish Oil Capsules?

No, this is a myth seemingly propagated by certain supplement companies. Good quality fish oil supplements can look cloudy when frozen.

Sustainability

Try to buy fish oil that is certified by the MSC, the Environmental Defense Fund or a similar organization. Small fish with short lifespans tend to be more sustainable.

Shelf life of Fish Oil – shorter is better

2 years or less is best.

Is Liquid Fish Oil Better than FishOil Capsules or Vice Versa?

Not really. If you are buying a good quality fish oil, then it is more a matter of personal preference.

Potency & Dose of Fish Oil

The recommended dose

A standard daily dose of EPA + DHA is around 1,000-2,000 mg. A therapeutic dose is usually around 2,000 mg of EPA + DHA or more.

How to read the label – potency matters

As you can see in the infographic below, it’s important to read the label on the back of the bottle because the front can be deceiving.

Front Label – Says 1000 mg fish oil. You think, great! 1-2 capsules per day for a standard dose. WRONG!

Summary

When buying any supplement, but especially fish oil, ask yourself these questions in order to ensure that you are buying a good quality nutritional supplement:

Has an independent scientific authority verified product purity and quality, providing a third-party seal of approval on the package?

Has it been tested for the absence of harmful levels of known, potential contaminants?

Was it produced at a facility that meets or exceeds government and industry standards for good manufacturing practices (GMPs)?

Does the label make claims that seem too good to be true?

If you can answer ‘yes’ to the first 3 questions and ‘no’ to the last one, then you are probably getting good quality stuff.

A quick reference

A short list of fish oil companies that are commonly found, meet all the requirements and standards to be considered “good quality”, AND provide a decent potency of fish oil/capsule.

Source: https://www.kitchenstewardship.com/fish-oil-faq/

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