#FUCKING TUMBLR

[thatdeadaquarius]

sagau with the language barrier issue except... the creator is sick and tired of trying to ask for things so they do everything themself.

and it gives their followers mass anxiety bc they can't even ask what you're doing... bc they know they won't understand anything...

SUCH A GENIUS NARVI 10/10 GOOD WORK SORRY IM SUPER LATE BUT THIS IS *chefs kiss*

Like, that's literally how I feel like I first played Genshin LMAO

Also this has a cont. Part 2 at the bottom bc tumblr fucking hates me UPDATE I FIXED IT THANK FUCK

Paimon was like "and then we go to Mondstadt- ! NO, not Wolvendom, to Mondstadt! NOT THE THOUSAND WIND TEMPLE WITH ENEMIES OUT OF UR LEAGUE, ENTER MONDSTADT FOR THE FIRST TIME BEFORE U EXPLORE THE REST OF THE MAP!! >:("

SO MANY IDEAS YET SO LITTLE WRITING SKILL GUYS HELP-

Also warning this is ROUGH in terms of spelling and editing and im so sorry abt that! I have my art show today so you're welcome to come back if you want to see it a little more readable tomorrow lmao

Edit Update 4/6/23:

Revised and fixed all the bad spelling and grammar (hopefully) so make sure to give another read if you havent read the cleaned up version lol

I dont have a beta reader so its just me trying my best ok-

Everything was like kinda chaos tbh at first

WOW- MY FIRST 1,000+ NOTES POST??!?! U GUYS, WHAT ARE R YOU DOIN??!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! IM GLAD U GUYS ENJOYED IT SM!! Also look out for more encoded stuff in the future since i mentioned wanting to continue stuff like this + ARG stuff :) <3

Edit 9/7/23: 2,000+ NOTES?? THANK YOU???

Like u wake up under the Irminsul, and u think ur hallucinating a goddamn gacha game for like a solid 5 minutes, or ur lucid dreaming, 

but once u actually took what felt like hours to process that u might actually be in fucking Genshin Impact-

Nahida came running from, somewhere?? Its kinda just very floaty dreamy in here so, unclear, she’s beaming with a giddy little smile (💘)

It’s… so much more than what her game model could manage.

I mean, you knew that, of course you did, but- to see the tiny goddess smiling in person, her cute chubby arms waving in the air, her cheeks all plump with baby fat from her excited smile, pretty green eyes that sparkle only in the way excited toddlers do-

It was just…wow. 🥺

You can’t help it, her sheer carefree excitement, exactly like a child but you know that she must be really overwhelmed with joy if shes letting herself act like that so blatantly, you feel ur muscles tug gently into a smile, you try to muffle it but ur happiness leaks out anyway

She's panting as she stumbles on short chubby legs to reach you.

After just staring at you with those big green clover eyes for a few seconds, she physically shakes her head to knock herself out of it,

Nahida places her hand over her heart, and bows elegantly, going back to looking at you with a small but bright smile, her voice is kind of quiet, muffled in a soft way, much like her game depiction,

“Hzozn! R'ev yvvm dzrgrmt gl nvvg blf! R wrwm'g gsrmp blf dlfow wvhxvmw fmgro R dzh zg ovzhg z uvd gslfhzmw bvzih low!” *

…Nahida begins to look a little concerned… her eyes get impossibly bigger.

…Oh no.

♧

Nahida had apparently quickly spread the news that you can’t understand them, but luckily it seems like all the characters still know you!

Alhaitham is pretty much a constant by your side, you knew he was vaguely studying linguistics in the akademiya… but that knowledge still didn’t prepare you to be intensely stared at with his diamond pupils for hours. 💀

Then he’d tap your shoulder or something, and you quickly picked up that he wanted you to just try and say something.

Then he would scribble for hours.

Turns out they can understand you about as much as you understand Teyvat language (s? You can’t even tell if there are multiple languages, that’s how unrecognizable this language is, damn)

The more extroverted or friendly people, like Venti, Yoimiya, Kazuha, Jean, Noelle, Amber, Xingqiu, Hu Tao, Zhongli, Ganyu, Barbara, Beidou, Collei, Ayaka, Gorou, Nilou

At least attempt to talk to you, and try very hard to watch what you gesture with your hands or body language

They're pretty much ready to play charades at all times for you lol

Interestingly enough, they only ever understood you when you typed in the chat (with other ppl)

But even then not immediately, 

Sumeru scholars basically had to make a whole new department (regardless of how much you play with others) to decipher your ancient language (to them) like those old clay tablets with cuneiform we’re still translating?

Like that, your words appear in elemental magic heavy places (so like that abyss lang. It’ll appear on walls or structures, so like Andrius’ stone colosseum? in Wolvendom gained some of your chat replies inscribed and glowing a rainbow of colors on the top edges of the walls)

Much like the abyss language you see throughout genshin, most Teyvat scholars (across nations/internationally) agreed your language is the oldest form of language known!

It’s like modern languages having roots in older ones, like English with Latin, greek, or German roots, or Sanskrit and the Prakrit for Hindi language today

…so of course no one really speaks the root languages anymore, because they’re so old, so those ancestors who spoke those languages would have little to no understanding of their modern counterparts…

◇

Occasionally if you turned your mic on for whatever reason there would be a gentle whisper on the winds in Mondstadt of your voice,

or your laugh in the waves washing ashore in Inazuma and Fontaine,

your startled noises or screams from battling bosses mixed with the landslides in the mountains of Liyue

So they know what you sound like, but that doesn’t mean they understood your language :/

Nahida had been hoping that you’re actual physical form being here would help improve the language barrier

But unfortunately, those things remained the same, but at least you were physically here to talk to now and give more content for the scholars to study rather than them having to make do with your snippets of language from chats

…so needless to say, it took you a long time to realize they viewed you as a god of sorts.

You kind of knew something was up when at least two allogenes were by your sides at all times, or eremites would replace them if they really couldn’t stick around

You figured they knew you weren’t nearly as combatant-ready as they were at all times, hell you obviously didn’t have a vision hanging off you somewhere, and you only really had a knife strapped to a belt, courtesy of the Thirty Corps

You are still kind of convinced that the people of Teyvat, or Sumeru at least, are just pretty polite (and in the allogenes case, very kind or friendly, even people like Alhaitham or Cyno, resting bitch faces they have, seem to soften a little when they’re walking around with you… maybe you’re just imagining it…)

And as much as you would love to wait until they understand you to do something more fun, as you can see the frustration on Tighnari’s face (and his ears try to flatten back hehe) as he looked like he was debating heatedly with some of the Sumeru sages who insist you stay in the city

…so why not go?

It’s not like they’re going to get it anytime soon, and it’s still too frustrating for yourself to charade things or draw things for them because you can’t even hear their guesses 💀

You can totally handle being like the traveler too, 

You still have access to your inventory afterall! Plus, lucky for you, you still find a pass for the Serenitea Pot in your little pocket dimension!

So now you have somewhere to sleep at night, and while most of your stuff went to the traveler’s pack, the things like Primogems

(which.. Okay now you really want primogems bc theyre so pretty and shiny irl)✨️

And other high-level things, or just objects of no use for the traveler (so basically all your hoarded level up stuff and infinite amount of weapons lol) came along with you

So you did have to wander the first week or so around the city and even commission the Adventurer’s Guild to grab you food supplies to cook with

Filling up, along with a few big waterskins, you’re off!

...and everyone collectively has a heart attack!

◇

When you show up in Ghandaraville essentially all “✨️���☺️✨️” on Tighnari’s doorstep-

He chokes on the tea he’d been sipping on before he opened the door lol

He looks a little frazzled so you try to just gesture with “calm yourself small animal” energy with your hands

“Tivzgvhg Oliw! R'n- R- sld wrw blf-?! Mvevinrmw, xlnv rm, xlnv rm, ivhg! ...R mvvw gl hvmw z nroorlm ovggvih mld gl ylgs gsv vmgriv xrgb lu Hfnvif, gsv Zxgrmt Tizmw Hztv, zmw gsv Nzgiz nlhg orpvob…” he began out looking at you and talking and gesturing to his small dining table (the game sucks, his house looks great and has lots of cool rooms filled with interesting plants… oooo…so pretty...) 

But then he kinda just devolved into rambling, no need to understand, you can read the vibes and just know that's what he's doing lol

Collei eventually ducks in, and she looks a little panicked?

She’s quickly followed by Cyno, pushing past her to call out into the house,

His voice seems hard and stressed, looking at Tighnari, “Grtsmzir, szev blf hvvm gsv Tivzgvhg Oliw zmbdsviv, gsvb dviv hvvm xlnrmt gl Tszmwziezeroov ozhg-” 

Cyno stops and blinks.

Collei’s mouth is slightly dropped open, she also just, blinks.

You blink. 

Tighnari blinks tiredly, he looks like he’d rather be done for the day, you think.

The doctor sighs, and moves his head to nod towards the other dining seats.

◇

Sumeru foods are so much better looking in real life, and they’re so good too, your practically bloated by the end of dinner, 

As a thank you, bc u cant say it obv, you just gesture for Tighnari to stay sitting, and he gives you a raised eyebrow and a suspicious ear twitch

But stays still, and you reach out to finally hit the eight-pointed star hovering over his, and all playable characters chests at all times.

Like you suspected, it brings up a holographic character menu, but rather than his full model, it kind of hovers in front of Tighnari’s face, replacing his old 3D model self with framing the real thing for a portrait just in front of his face

The poor Denro user nearly jumps a foot out of his chair as he looks in shock at your screen, you do the same “chillll boy” gesture with your hands and press his shoulders for a second to remind him to not run off or panic

Cyno and Collei had done the dishes and put up leftovers, and are now standing behind Tighnari, watching with equally wide eyes,

“...Dszg ziv gsvb wlrmt gl blf?

Cyno’s voice is even deeper and quieter than usual, you feel goosebumps run up your spine

“Ziv blf tvggrmt yovhhvw, Nzhgvi Grtsmzir?!” Collei’s sweet voice is also hushed like she’s witnessing something sacred, Tighnari gently shakes his head negatively in response, his shoulders shrugging,

“Nzbyv? R uvvo... z orggov hgilmtvi, zmw nb Erhrlm rh zxgrmt fk zh dvoo…”

Though he’s replying, Tighnari’s eyes haven’t once left your ancient magic? technology device? hovering in front of him,

and as he crosses his arms and squints to try and look closer at everything floating in front of him, you can see the childlike gleam of awe in his green eyes, (so cute) in fact, now that you glance up and look, both Collei and Cyno have the same quietly excited and fascinated sparkle in their eyes too

With a displeased sneer, you chuck his old level one bow into the material grinding spots, hope he wasn’t attached to that…

Oh well, he’ll like the new one better, afterall, with no characters, all your best weapons and artifacts are ready to use!

With a small smile of reassurance, you finally finish gearing Tighnari up, tap a miniature version of that 8-point star in the corner like an “X” button, and it retreats like a classic TV set📺 turning off into his chest, he startles but then carefully stands

You decide to just start making decisions bc its worked out so far ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And grab his hand and haul him out into the forest, Collei letting out a surprised squeak, her and Cyno hurrying after

You reach the nearest clearing, and gesture at Tighnari like a bow and arrow firing, he gets it, and your glad he already trusts you, because he doesn’t take long to summon his bow

He takes aim at a smaller tree about two cars length away

You can feel them all holding their breathe, as Tighnari charges it with Dendro, the arrowhead glowing, (it looks so cool and badass irl god you feel envious even tho ur already here-)

The ranger lets it fly, it streaks neon green, whistling through the air, it hits the tree-

and it fucking explodes.

Vines and leaves and the trees roots all rapidly swell like theyre filled with water, like it literally got hit by a superhero with plant powers, which, not that far off actually.

The green floating Dendro seeds make a ring around the tree its so full of elemental energy-

You give a wild grin, you still got it, hell yeah. >:)

Your grin widens as you look over at Tighnari, Collei, and Cyno

Cyno has a smirk lighting up his face, eyes eager, Collei’s jaw has dropped and she’s just frozen staring as the tree finally settles from the burst of the dendro powered arrow

…Tighnari has lowered his bow, and his mouth is only slightly open, his ears perked straight up into the air, shaking with excitement? Happiness? Interest? You don’t know how peopl-animal-hybrid ears work,

and you STILL cant talk to any of them to ask what they thought, so looks will have to do >:/

Tighnari is the first to move, his head snapping over to look at you, the brightest, kinda feral tbh, smile taking over his face-

“Blf pmld, dv xzm'g fmwvihgzmw blf, zmw blf fh, bvg R xzm'g dzrg gl hvv dszg rm gsv dliow blf'iv tlrmt gl wl mvcg. Blf'iv znzarmt."

… and you just 🙂? Cool!

And give a thumbs up👍LMAO

☆

Bonus:

Alhaitham was literally running around Sumeru City trying to find you when you left, tho you did try and leave a translatable-in-3-to-5-business days-note, he didn’t have time to translate that because you were gone.

Or worse, lost in the city, and he would never forgive himself if he lost you, esp as Acting Grand Sage-

Kaveh got a letter a day and a half later from Tighnari letting them know you were having a sleepover in Ghandarvaville lol

Kaveh also had to hunt down Alhaitham to give him said news, then force his roommate to go sit or lay down for the rest of the day to recover lmao

(Haitham honestly kinda freaked Kaveh out bc he’s never seen him that... desperate, it was like seeing a statue emote lol)

♡

ARE YOU KIDDING WE ALMOST HIT LIMIT AGAIN?!

Bro has anyone else had this problem???

I literally had to switch from PC to mobile and copy and paste it there to get all my shit in and tumblr not throw a hissy fit???!!!

FUCKING TUMBLR- SUCK MY BIG FAT- 👹👹 UGH

ANYWAYYYY SO I FINALLY CAVED 

And started doing ciphers for when you dont get teyvat’s language! I meant to do something fun like this for awhile but I wasn’t sure if that would be kind of annoying, but if you’re interested in learning what they actually say (which the whole point of this is that dw it doesnt rlly matter lol) here’s a hint:

*hint = Atbash

:> good luck!

Wish me luck on my art exhibition today!! Then I’ll be homefreeeee 😭

Safe Travels,

💀♒

♡ the beloveds ♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Garden Centre Au

Lucifer:

Adam: *Holds up spray bottle*

[reneelovesrobots]

The 'for you' tab has a habit of randomly assigning me baffling bullshit but a sea of untagged foot fetish posts is a fuckin new one

[insanityisdivine]

Paul Doesn't Get Enough

X

[herald-divine-hell]

Idk what I did for the Tumblr Home page just to fill me with constant negativity and bashing about Veilguard. But I literally do not care in the slightest. Just let me see shit my followers reblogged, omg.

I want Leliana and Neve and Taash

And before anyone says - yes, I did block veilguard criticism tags. I still have no idea why they still show up

[el-smacko]

I used to like Jon Stewart but his treatment of the Gaza genocide was fucking bullshit.

“No one seems to be incentivized to stop the suffering of the innocent people in this region.” Ansar Allah’s blockade? Allies in Lebanon and Iraq like Hizbullah? South Africa??? The “Cycle of Violence” myth that everyone is at fault when Israel is the one who’s been ethnically cleansing Palestinians with the West’s help for a century. Equating “destroying Israel” (a nonhuman country/state entity) with a call for genocide while the Palestinian people are actually suffering genocide, a word he didn’t use. Saying the UN has been useless when South Africa won their case at the ICJ and it’s the US who has been consistently vetoing ceasefire resolutions. Calling for a Middle East equivalent of NATO—who famously used a UN resolution to fuck over an Arab state before—to create a “demilitarized zone” between Israel and Palestine as if a) that worked for Korea and b) the partition of Palestine or any other state has ever been a fruitful endeavor or at all acceptable in cases of apartheid—to say nothing of the fact that he or his writers seem entirely ignorant of the previous Arab coalitions’ actions in the region.

Fuck Jon Stewart, moment unmet.

[crazybutgood]

apparently Tumblr is now not only randomly unfollowing and following people for me without my knowing, but is also showing the 'Follow' button next to literally everyone, regardless of whether I'm already following that person or not. Nothing can be trusted in this hellscape 🫠 Also sorry if this glitch affects you! I have no idea what's happening when

[baejax-the-great]

WIP Wednesday-WitD

Patroclus cups his hands and draws the water to his face.

“Sir? Hey, sir!”

He tries to ignore Zagreus. He does. His hands tremble suspended between river and mouth and he is already losing water trickling through his fingers. The sizzle of burning feet on grass grows closer at a breakneck speed as Zagreus sprints toward Patroclus.

“You’re still here,” Zagreus exclaims with a huge grin on his face. “And I saw you in the arena last time. Did you find what you were looking for, then?”

Patroclus does not know how to answer this. His cupped hands hold now barely a mouthful of water, the rest of it slowly dribbled onto the grass.

He doesn’t want Zagreus to witness this. The other shades milling about—they don’t matter. But this moment, Patroclus unbecoming himself—he doesn’t want the boy to see this. He lets the rest of the water fall out of his hands.

“Were you going to drink, sir?” Zagreus asks with a small amount of trepidation in his voice. “You do know that… it’s the Lethe.”

Patroclus sits back on his heels. “Yes,” he says. “I know.”

The boy stands there awkwardly, about as still as Patroclus has ever seen him, the ground charring beneath his feet. The ribbons of grass flare orange then red then black with an undulating glow. It’s captivating. They crumble to pieces, black and gray dust, and new grass grows in its place startlingly quickly to burn all over again.  

“If you found a way to kill Achilles,” Patroclus asks, “And went beyond him to discover whatever was past Elysium and learned that there was still no way for you to get out, that you would never escape, would you want to know? Or would it be easier to forget and keep struggling for your freedom? Or even to forget that you ever wanted to escape in the first place?”

Zagreus’s expression crumples. “I…”

Patroclus waits. Is he asking the boy for permission? For understanding? Has he grown to value the judgment of Zagreus, or at least fear his disapproval? After this, Patroclus won’t be able to help him anymore, and he hadn’t helped him much to start with.

The boy’s attention turns sharply toward the arena with a frown. He waves and calls, “Hail, sir.”

Achilles is standing in the center of the gate, still armored, still holding his spear. Shades are scattering away from him as he strides onto the grass. More importantly, however, far past Achilles and far upstream, the movement of a tall, dark shadow catches Patroclus’s eye. It is too far away to make out clearly, but there is only one who roams these rivers.

Shit. He’s out of time, the one resource he usually has far too much of. Achilles shouts for him to stop at the same time Zagreus calls his sword to his hand.

“He’s talking to me, stranger, not you,” Patroclus tells him, fairly certain he’s correct about that. Zagreus is merely a duty to Achilles, whereas Patroclus is… something else. As soon as the words are out of his mouth, it occurs to Patroclus that he can do one good deed before he consigns himself to history. “Make me,” he calls to Achilles with as much challenge in his voice as he can muster, edging his way closer to the river.

Zagreus looks at him in shock, and Patroclus says quickly and quietly, “This is your chance. He’s coming for me. When he’s far enough away from the gate, run and don’t look back. I think he’ll let you go this one time.”

“Will you be—”

“I’m dead, Zagreus. Now go.”

Achilles does turn his attention to Zagreus briefly, and Patroclus quickly scoops up the river and swallows as much as he can. It is cold, almost numbing as it goes down his throat. How quickly does it work? Which memories went first? Will he even know? It doesn’t matter.

As he reaches his hands back into the river, he can hear the thundering of Achilles’ feet. He lifts his head just in time to see Zagreus bolting into the arena. Before he can fully swallow his second mouthful, Achilles tackles him.

[tippenfunkaport]

Just... the fact that it's, "We sold your data to AI companies!" and they didn't even pretend for 5 seconds that it was a profit share or revenue stream users could opt into really says it all.

[trannytheophage]

Look I'm a very very small blog just dipping my toe into actually engaging with people on this fucked site but it's terrifying seeing other trans fems just,,, disappear. I post my pics and my art because this used to be somewhere safe but I'm aware the risk is growing, dunno where I'd actually go if I lose this account been here for nearly a decade but if I get deleted I'm not coming back. The transmisogyny is in the bones of this website at this point.

[justrainandcoffee]

I don't know why but in whole day I couldn't see my own posts on my dashboard and I absolutely hate it.

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Why won’t tumblr let me make a post with gifs?

I just want to make a silly little post 🥲

I swear if it ends up posting multiple times I’ll be mad lol

[reneelovesrobots]

Tumblr why am i getting ads for "thrill killing"

Am I giving serial killer vibes or something?

[breedablebunny-blue]

Originally was @breedable-bunnyblue but Tumblr like hides my blog now i think

so ill be trying to go through and reblog some of my favorite posts ive made

[partyinpoison]

I'm actually so unbelievably pissed I didn't get to vote on that dumb bug race poll, I literally just updated tumblr