#FUCK dark souls 1. that game sucks & is bad
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cardboardcranium · 1 year ago
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doubleddenden · 1 year ago
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The topic of Palworld is pretty charged, but often times I see people be shamed for liking it because the CEO tweeted stuff about NFTs and the company using AI art in a separate game. Acting as if that's the most damning thing ever for a gaming company in an industry filled with similar people.
Make no mistake, I dislike both AI art and nfts, but do you realize how many gaming companies have involvement with that?
To begin with, Pokémon used AI art in a promotional piece for Pokémon Go in September, and nobody gave a shit because uwu Pikachu. The Pokémon Company also put a job listing some months back seeking an expert in NFTs. That's not quite damning evidence, but if I were a betting man, no "NFT expert" will willingly say "yeah nfts suck are bad for the environment, man, I'll take my paycheck and fuck off now." There's also a strong argument to be made that Pokémon has stolen ideas from fakemon artists (Finizen and Palafin, Scovillain, Dipplin, etc) and other franchises (kaiju movies, Dragon Quest, Megaman, final fantasy, western cartoons and food mascots, etc), a dubious legal statement that claims they own all fan art from the remixes and fakemon made on youtube to the pikachu your kid drew at breakfast; they have yet to apologize for the state of Scarlet and Violet while charging full price to millions of paying customers for a clearly unfinished and barely functioning game (which i did enjoy, but you can't tell me it was finished baking when it struggles not to shit itself just to run), and a bunch of other things people shit on Palworld for, but A. It's Pokémon so people don't care and think it's fine, and B. That's not the point of this post.
You know who else does NFTs and AI art? (Yes I heard Muscle Man from Regular Show in my head just now, too, moving along)
Square Enix sold several of their IPs for NFTs and claims to have used AI art "a minimum amount" in Foam Stars, yet I see nobody yelling for boycotts of Final Fantasy 14, 16, Kingdom Hearts, Dragon Quest, Life is Strange, etc etc etc.
Sony has invested in both, they want to implement AI into gaming, and has a patent for nfts to be used in games and consoles, yet there's no movement to throw out your playstations.
Bandai Namco- you know, that company with a hand in pretty much most anime games on the market and popular games such as the Dark Souls games? They have a game called RYU that's essentially a virtual pet game that uses the blockchain, and its AI driven, among other projects. Yet there's no outcry to stop playing the many, MANY games they brand with. This also includes quite a few Nintendo games (btw they just partnered together to form a special studio quite recently) like Smash Wii U/3ds and New Pokémon Snap. Nobody gives a shit though.
Android, Microsoft, Google, Apple- I don't even need to explain those, they have whole teams dedicated to both. Even popular VPN companies accept crypto.
I'm just saying an awful lot of you guys that scream and shit bloody murder about Palworld's company being involved with that shit are either the biggest "It's okay when my favs do it" type of hypocrites, or you're sorely ignorant to just how evil and greedy most corporations are. You'll be hard pressed to find a game company with popular AND fun games that DOESN'T have some interest in either, let alone movie and show studios. That's the awful reality we live in.
You have 2 options
1. You basically stop doing anything involving most modern tech, including throwing out your pc and smart phone. You could probably live a comfortable life with tech circa 2010, but you have to be aware that any thing you buy may go towards a cause you don't like.
2. You accept that people can enjoy a product while not necessarily agreeing with the CEO of said product. Most CEOs tend to be jackasses anyway, that's kind of the shared trait they all have. You can also discourage companies from using them while understanding it is everywhere.
Palworld at the end of the day is just a toy, that's it. From the looks of it, it's not even actually hurting anyone, and it seems like the company at least treats their employees pretty decently- at least according to a few things I've seen here and there that seems rather progressive for a Japanese studio (with room for doubt obviously, it's a company after all and as we've established, they're all evil). At the least its not like when people supported Hogwarts Legacy and directly put money into JKR's wallet so she can openly hurt more Trans women. In fact, the only people seemingly hurt in all of this Palworld drama are obsessed Pokémon stans that can't accept a parody, or the Pokémon Company themselves, who rightly deserve some punching up tbh.
You can just say you dislike the game, that's fine, I totally get that. Even though I personally think The Pokémon Company deserves a few nut shots after the way they've treated fans these last few years with the state of their games (and you know, stealing ideas from fans without credit), I can see why someone would be turned away from a parody that's literally meant to be Pokémon with guns. I can totally understand all of that, personally I'd prefer if the game was MORE like Pokémon with turn based combat.
But if you're going to defend Pokémon because you think its perfectly innocent because of Wooloo or something like that, just be sure you're aware you're defending the World's Richest Franchise and their own attempts at AI and NFTs while calling out an indie company (a real one thats learning as they go, not the fake "We're totally indie" franchise that hasn't been indie since gen 3) for having a ceo that also seems interested in the same stuff. And remember, you don't become number 1 without hurting people somehow (we could dig up receipts about certain partners Pokémon has teamed up with, such as Tencent with Unite, but I'd rather not right now.)
Just saying. I don't think you're an irredeemable person for still liking Pikachu, cuz I do too believe it or not. I've been a life long fan and still have fun with the games despite the clear scummy business practices towards their paying customers. Just maybe extend that courtesy to the millions of players just trying to have fun in this awful, putrid, shithole planet that just keeps getting worse and worse with each passing day.
Plus... you know, think about it. Do you think Pokémon would ever get around to making a gunless Palworld? Probably not. Do you think Palworld would exist if The Pokémon Company and Nintendo were the slightest bit chill about Pokémon fan projects like SEGA is with Sonic? Also probably not. From what I've read, the devs just wanted to make a fun game that happens to mostly be ARK with Pokémon adjacent monsters. That's not really a bad thing, all things considered, and it seems like the worst they've done is reference official Pokémon when making their own models.
Palworld being successful is actually beneficial to Pokémon fans, as well. It'll never really truly compete, but it has outsold Legends Arceus in terms of units sold (not as much financially because Palworld was only $30 plus a sale recently, but still impressive), and it is enough that Game Freak is aware of its existence. Let Palworld light a fire under their ass, and maybe GF will actually finish their next game before releasing it for full price (and no, we're not bringing up the tired imaginary ball and chain game devs, game freak owns 1/3rd lf the franchise and can easily take methods to get more dev time, they just haven't because money). Just saying, at least the Paldevs were honest enough to sell it in early access for half the price.
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tobiasdrake · 1 month ago
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Alright, with all six Origins out of the way, it's time to make actual choices for the character I want to play through the game as. I'd thought I'd just go through the character I settled on as my "Canon" playthrough before, but revisiting these origins made me realize that I'm a very different person today than I was in 2009.
There are nonetheless some limiting factors in the kind of character I can choose. For one, Origins specifically requires me to go against my own preferences and play a male character.
The reason for this is simple: The Dark Ritual is the optimal outcome for the game's ending for a variety of reasons. But if the player character can't perform the Dark Ritual themselves, then the two alternatives are really gross. Thanks, Bioware, for making players choose between:
1 - Be male. 2 - Coerce a party member into an unwilling sexual encounter. 3 - Someone's soul gets erased from existence.
So to avoid the part where the game suddenly goes "SURPRISE, fuck you for being female!" I'm going to have to build a dude.
(That's not even the only nasty endgame surprise for female characters. It's much worse for women who thought it was safe to romance Alistair, one of the two characters the game clearly wants you to pursue depending on your gender.)
Dalish Elf, Mage, and the two Dwarven origins are neat but also divorced from the central plot, which concerns the politics of Ferelden in the midst of a civil war. If you're playing one of those Origins then you're connected to one of the sub-arcs, while Human Noble and City Elf are centrally fixed to the game's A-plot.
Only those two have specific grievances with the game's central antagonist. Because of the Blight, you don't necessarily need a specific grievance. But it makes the story better if the protagonist actually has some skin in the game and isn't just Doing the Thing because that's their job now, I guess.
So with that in mind, it comes down to Human Noble vs. City Elf. Or in other words, "Do you want to be an underdog from the oppressed underclass or a child of privilege whose home is specifically called out as being particularly harsh about minority oppression?"
So. Yeah. Gonna be going City Elf. Which is a shame because the plot of City Elf is a lot more interesting if you're playing a female character. But. Y'know. Too bad about that really gross endgame Fuck You.
Bioware's capacity for interesting choice-driven gameplay is what their brand was built on but sometimes their choices just suck.
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shortythezombie · 11 days ago
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I've now played every modern From Soft game except for Demon's Souls, which I likely won't bother with, and Armored Core, which doesn't fill this same niche as hard, and here's how they stack up in my opinion:
1. Elden Ring: Give me a Sekiro parry and conventional, 4-player(ish) co-op and this is a perfect game.
2. Sekiro: This game feels cool as hell. Parrying lightning on your way to stab a dragon in the face? Hell. Yes. On top of that, it's the most coherent, dialogue heavy From Soft story to date, and I love that an awful lot.
3. Dark Souls 2: I genuinely don't understand the hate this game gets, it makes some weird decisions, but not any worse than any other game in the franchise. Adaptability is not as bad as Vitality in DS3. No I-frames on doors? Dude, just kill everything. It's not a bad game for demanding you engage with the content in it. These aren't boss rushes, they're adventures. This game introduced powerstancing! I love the NPCs, the fact that you can make things stop respawning, Majula, and the narrative divorced from Kindling or abandoning the Flame. Basically the only part of this game I didn't like enough that it made me want to stop playing was the Frigid Outskirts, I STILL haven't beaten the duo tigers at the end of it, and I likely never will. I don't even understand why the Shrine of Amana gets so much hate.
4. Dark Souls 1: This one is solid, but definitely a proof of concept. The 4-directional dodge definitely hurts this game, and basically everything after Ornstein and Smough sucks, except the DLC. Izaleth and everything directly adjacent to it can go fuck itself. Bed of Chaos is the worst boss in the entire catalogue. Bonus points for the Sunbro.
5. Dark Souls 3: I don't understand why this game gets the praise it does. It's about on par with the other two Dark Souls games. Crystal Sage another series low. I hate the poison swamp and the Road of Sacrifice, I hate the Deep Cathedral and the worm guys outside. I hate Midir. Gael one of my favorite bosses in the entire From franchise tho. The poetic cinema that your first enemy in Dark Souls 1 is a Hollow with a broken sword, and your last enemy in Dark Souls 3 is a Hollow with a broken sword also goes real hard. Soundtrack another bonus, probably my favorite other than Elden Ring. I think if this game didn't poke nostalgia for series vets, it wouldn't be as universally praised.
6. Bloodborne: Man I just plain don't like this one. I don't get why the Hoonter hoonts. It's made obvious immediately that that's an evil course of action to take. The parry was too finicky to feel cool most of the time, and the line between what I'm allowed to parry and what I'm not seems random. The soundtrack is okay. The bosses are all either dogs or tentacles, or just British people (shudder). The story was nonsensical, and the birth imagery seemed, at first glance, random, though I have since had it explained to me that it's about feminine agency and motherhood. "Is it blood or eyes that lets us meet god?" Both, apparently, and also all of you are insane, maybe stop touching beached elder gods. This is also the only game where I got to pick a weapon and the Greatsword is not on the table, and I HATE that. I think folks like this game cuz they want to be British, and that should be a source of shame. Drip unmatched tho. This is the only game listed that isn't one of my favorite games of all time.
I used the capital-G-Greatsword for every game it was available, Heavy Gem infused in every game except Elden Ring (I did Bleed there), and my character was a pale blue monstrosity named Miku (because he had ponytails) in every game I got to make my character. I don't cast spells, at all. I beat every boss in the series (excluding ER, I'm not killing all 200-something, go fuck yourself) except for the aforementioned tiger gank in DS2. Fuck the Frigid Outskirts.
I want to smoke a blunt with Solaire, Vengarl, Alexander, and Patches.
If you'd like me to elaborate on anything, let me know, I'm happy to yap. I got a rant on the dragons cocked n loaded that I'll dump eventually.
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marina-the-witch · 9 months ago
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My Souls Hot Takes
Decided to write up a couple of my less popular opinions for souls games. Please don't get upset over any of these, if you disagree that's totally valid
Dark Souls 1:
Bell Gargoyles is my favorite base game boss
I don't like Ornstein and Smough that much
Gwyn's theme is nowhere near as sad or dramatic as its made out to be in my opinion
Painted World isnt fun to me at all
Tomb of the Giants isnt that bad
I miss the whimiscal 80s fantasy aesthetic the series lost in the following entries even if i understand it narratively
Dark Souls 2:
I'm not just a hater or fail to appreciate an underrated gem, I simply dont enjoy this game
I think Darklurker is mid and the runback gimmick is stupid
The world and lore arent that much better to me than any other souls games and dont save the game
Life Gems are actually pretty okay
Old Dragonslayer is really not that big of a deal
Royal Rat Vanguard is the single worst boss in souls to me
Fume Knight is just kinda alright to me, I enjoy Sir Alonne much more
The health cap loss fucking sucks i hate it
Its perfectly fine to both love and hate this game please calm tf down
Dark Souls 3:
Soul of Cinder isnt that exciting, I might just be biased though bc i started the DS games with 3
Jailers arent that bad, Thralls are way worse
Ancient Wyvern kinda funny tbh
I really really dislike Sister Friede
The random wolf guy in ariandel is the wost boss in 3
Corvian Knights are the coolest enemy in the trilogy
The game isnt actually as ugly and monotone as people say
Pontiff Sulyvahn is sooooo mid to me I could not care less for his parry bait jojo stand ass goofy fight
Yhorm is such a nothing boss without the siegward narrative to me
Demon Prince solos literally any other duo boss and its not even close
R1 and O spam is a dark souls staple to me, not DS3 exclusive at all
Dragonslayer Armor and Oceiros are insanely underrated
Sekiro:
Demon of Hatred actually slaps
Corrupted Monk actually slaps
Great Shinobi Owl is really mid to me, too gimmicky
Guardian Ape has the same issues as DoH just to a lesser extend
The 2 giant beast (serpent and carp) area hazards are so good
Souls should give underwater another shot imo
Most of the minibosses are kinda bad to me
Bloodborne:
Laurence is actually peak
Not really a fan of Maria's fight, gonna replay the game soon to see if it'll finally click
Winter Lanters are pretty cool
Micolash fans are weird why are there so many
Yharnam Sunrise is the most boring ending of any souls game
As much as i would love it, I cant feasibly see a logical contuination of the Bloodborne universe
Saw Spear mid idc
Chalice Dungeons are both infinitely better and worse than people say I really dont know how to feel about them
Simon's Bowblade is one of the coolest weapons in fiction
Elden Ring:
Morgott is underrated
Dragons are underrated
Placidusax's theme is kinda eh to me
Radahn and Malenia are equal, both fandoms can stfu, it said fought to a standstill for a reason
Rykard is genuinely a good fight even with the gimmick in mind
I don't care for vyke, frenzy, shabriri or any other madness hoobla
I hate using great spears so much
Summons are VALID. If they were cheating they wouldnt be in the game. Get over yourself
Idc how much you can counter it I dont like malenia's waterfowl dance and health regain
Godskin Duo isn't that bad, the REAL enemy is valiant gargoyles
Royal Revenants, Birds and Runebears at least have the decency to be rare... Imps and Lobsters though
Volcano Manor is underrated as fuck, such a unique level for a souls game with so much cool lore and visual flare
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astradyke · 4 days ago
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sorry for the rapid increase in my posts i'm like really fucking sick right now and my main fixation activity (playing pokérogue) is down for maintenance for several days so you guys are just getting my fever induced thoughts.
anyway i keep complaining about dan and phil's pokémon takes and i realize i should give context (not that i like should or need to but to be honest pokémon is slightly overtaking d&p in terms of like life-hostaging interests so i want to discuss it).
pkmn (using this abbrev now) has 9 generations, the original games being gen 1 which came out around the time when d&p would probably grow up playing them. all millenials are super fond of gen 1. there would be three subsequent generations -- 2, 3, and 4 -- which would build upon the pkmn world (espec gen 4 which is one of my favories, so im biased, but i would argue that it was one of the most influencial generations of pkmn if not the most, and gamefreak knows this because so many spin off games / franchise emphasis is on gen 4.). however all these games would still call back to gen 1 because of like the nostalgic value, gen 1 is like the Blueprint
and then gen 5 comes and pkmn does something revolutionary which is make a game (pkmn black and white, heralded as one of the best games in the entire franchise) where the ONLY pokémon you can catch are gen 5 exclusives. people are super divisive on this. a lot of folks love pkmn b&w (and the sequel black & white 2) and thus are fond of unova region (world region in gen 5 games), but a lot of people have resentment towards the pkmn in the generation arguing that some of them Suck Bad (which is a fair point but also moot because every generation has pkmn who suck bad. like gen 5 does have the worst regional birds & mammals in the series. also arguably boring starters. but still). idk my favorite generations are 4, 5, and 7 so im biased but yk
so when i keep complaining about dan and phil's favorite pkmn being gen 1 ones and keep referencing unova thats because i think the gen 1 nostalgia that nearly every game except pkmn b&w/b&w 2 have would work on them soooo hard. and im just dyingly curious to know what other pkmn they play bc most games in the franchise dont force you to play new pkmn (why phil recently won a game with an oddish, who is gen 1) so they CAN stick to old stuff but ugh im soooooo fucking curious. hope this explains it
(ps im curious if theyve played legends arceus bc it's (1) super themed on gen 4 while having a lot of pkmn of other gens and (2) is totally different in genre and moreso resembles like a dark souls like game in terms of battle mechanics so i just know that dan's fucking elden ring ass would like that)
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6ad6ro · 25 days ago
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speaking of zelda... i gotta admit it's been pretty mediocre since skyward sword came out. that game was obv the worst zelda has ever been, and it broke aonuma's brain to the point that he just turned zelda into an entirely different game (botw). which was completely unnecissary. the traditional zelda formula wasn't the issue with ss, those parts were great. the problem was it's dependancy on broken motion controls and horrendous mechanics. it was a bad game because it was BAD, not because people were sick of zelda.
we got lbw between ss and botw, and sure it was fine and all? but let's be honest. it was sidegame quality, and didn't hold a candle to lttp which it was supposed to be a sequel to. i also don't think the "pay rupees to get all gear instantly" was good at all, imo it kinda ruined it. i prob shouldn't complain tho, bc it was worlds better than what came after. botw is zelda in name only. and i'm sick of hearing dumbasses say "it's just like zelda 1!" no it's fucking nottt. z1 was fairly linear, you COULD do dungeons in "any order" but nobody actually would. progression was dependant on gear and stats. and all the later zeldas were a slow evolution of that same formula, eventually putting a big focus on story and characters and aesthetics. oot had infinitely more in common with z1 than goddamn botw ever did. botw was just a shameless combination of the most successful games of the time: skyrim, minecraft, gta, dark souls. don't get me wrong, it's not an objectively terrible game. but it IS objectively unlike what zelda had been for 30 years. THAT'S why i dislike it. i love zelda because it's zelda. i don't love botw because it's not really zelda, it's an impostor that takes up the slot where a more traditional zelda could be. because botw exists, we don't get real mainline zelda games anymore. then came the la remake. which... fuck i love orig la so much. and the remake's aesthetics SUCKED. it was a shallow remake of a masterpiece. i can't begin to understand why people look at toddler toy lookin lar and say "yeah that's the same". orig la, even ladx, had aesthetics that worked well when it was both light and dark. lar looked and sounded kiddy no matter what. it was everything people hated with that first e3 look at windwaker, but with none of the redeeming intention that ww had in execution. and it was yet another slap in the face of pixel art, a 2d game made 3d for no reason besides companies don't think 2d games can sell. and then of course then we got ANOTHER botw, totk. which as i said was much better than botw (and had much more traditional zelda elements). but that's purely when compared to botw. totk is still barely a zelda game. i am well aware the only reason i kinda like it is my expectations are already in the gutter. finally, we got eow. which i played for like an hour before realizing I'M SICK OF MINECRAFT ZELDAS. aonuma clearly doesn't want to make zelda games anymore. take him off the series. yeah sure i loved mm for bein so experimental, but right after we got a ton more traditional shit. and mm was a hell of a lot closer to traditional zelda than any of these newer zeldas. i saw interviews where "aonuma doesn't know why people want to go back to traditional zelda". well tough shit aonuma. they do. because people loved zelda. you should know that because you made like half of them. and i think it's perfectly reasonable that you're sick of making similar games over and over. but that means you SHOULD MAKE OTHER GAMES! or nintendo should allow you to move on to other projects. at the end of the day, if these new aonuma games weren't called "zelda". if they were their own things, and real zeldas were still being made by other people who actually loved zelda for what it is? i'd be fine with them. i may not like "aonumas wacky open world adventure game" as much as the new zelda games, but it'd be a cool new series i could appreciate. i wish all these new zelda fans who didn't really like old zelda and only jumped in because everything had changed could see things from the other side. and understand that things don't have to be this way. could understand that the reason a lot of us "purists" dislike botw and eow isn't at all because we hate the games themselves, but more because those games came with a big middle finger to what we love about zelda. i don't think it's too much to ask for zelda fans to want zelda games, do you?
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vie-vie-vie-vie-vie-vie · 2 months ago
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I beat dark souls 2 sotfs yesterday btw. Easily my favorite one. 1 aged poor as fuck and sucks so bad. 3 is uninteresting. Almost every single area and encounter is fun*. Gonna clear the dlcs (got sunken crown already, damn that was a bitch), do ng+ at least once, then hit up elden ring.
* courtesy of friend:
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"Vie, careful, you've been poisoned! You should probably take an estus." - statements that will haunt my dreams 40 years from now
P.S. the actual worst time I've had so far was easily the Bastille. Fuck you assassin malding. Respecced to a +10 greatsword and hit 2 handed light attack 4 times in a row with the stone ring on just for you to still be standing. Fucker.
Easily the best souls game.
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beesmygod · 1 year ago
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What is your ranking of the 'souls' fromsoft games you've played and why? I SUSPECT bludbornt takes the number 1 slot for reasons.
this is actually really really hard because while i love the bloodborne story, some of the structural and pacing issues can result in an awful gameplay experience. like if its your first time playing the game the last boss you're going to fight is mergo's wet nurse which is a huge wet fart of a final boss with a dogshit soundtrack. some of the boss fights are rank as well. like laurence is fucking awful. rom is a SLOGGGGGGG i dread having to fight rom every time bc its just a test of my patience instead of a skill check. defiled watchdog and amygdala are terrible. not fun. very bad. great dlc tho
it ties with dark souls 1 which i dearly, dearly love so much i could play it forever except once you play literally any other fromsoft game it is so hard to go back to. the quality of life additions in later games like "being able to fast travel without needing to complete half the game" and "being able to move at a reasonable pace instead of plodding around like the gravity on planet dark souls is stronger than earth" are completely absent. is...almost a little too mean. some of those boss runs are real rough. also great dlc. i love broken pyromancy so much. wait i just remembered centipede demon i hate that fight. fuck him. and fuck his ketchup kids
ds3 is a close second bc its ds1 but they gave it a bunch of quality of life fixes that make it much less frustrating to play. however, the pay off is that it has one terrible dlc and one thats just ok. i hate the final boss of the base game i think it sucks. nearly everyone disagrees with me so dont listen to me. but i think it's a stinker lol. the midir fight is grueling, unfun. ive done it and it was awful. i think there are too many "puzzle" bosses (wolnir, yhorm, ancient wyvern) that feel like they were imported from a zelda game. i do not like those at all. dont waste my time from! im here to kill monsters by the skin of my teeth!!! not play donkey kong!!!
i took a long time to warm up to sekiro and really disliked it until it "clicked" and then it became mind-blowing. i really hope they make more like this with this fighting system. maybe even a sekiro 2 (tomoe story PLEAAASSEEEE FROM. it was teased so hard...). it has an incredible plot, world, means of delivering its story, heart pounding battles, and the single best fromsoft final boss fight ever. bar none. sword saint isshin is an unbelievable experience.
but...fromsoft what the fuck am i supposed to do with all this currency ive amassed lol. they forgot to give me things to buy. you dont have this problem in souls games because you use them to level up, but in sekiro you have to fucking git gud. there's no level system and defense bonuses are tied to defeating bosses. if you can't defeat a boss you are absolutely fucked and have to throw yourself against the wall over and over, which can truly be a terrible grind.
some of the boss fights are h o r r i b l e. most fromsoft games have me chasing down minibosses to beat for fun but the headless are literally dreadful. i just skip them altogether now because if it wasnt enough that they cast a "remove fun" AOE spell, but the items they drop are worthless. i will never use these lol. what the fuck from. the second fight with the ape is stupid. im never going to fight the demon of hatred sorry lol. you can't put a fucking bloodborne beast in a game almost entirely revolving around human enemies.
never finished ds2
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kinnoth · 2 years ago
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Things i learned about sekiro when I finally started unlearning my dark souls habits:
- HOLDING BLOCK RECOVERS YOUR POSTURE. Fucking WHAT. Oh I'm sorry did we NOT port over "drop your shield to recover stamina" from EVERY OTHER FROMSOFT GAME seriously WHAT THE FUCK.
- STRAFING IS BAD. Extraneous movement is in fact always bad. STAND THERE AND TAKE IT. Do not fucking dodge around like a motherfucker fishing for i-frames. STAND. THERE. AND. TAKE. IT. Wait for the fucker to come to YOU. DEFLECT HIM. TAKE IT.
- CHEESING IS ALSO BAD. DO NOT CHEESE BOSSES. Not for the fairness of the sport or anything gay like that, just bc if you cheese bosses you will not learn the lesson the boss is trying to teach you. Every one of these fucking bosses is trying to teach you something different. If you don't learn your lessons you'll get stuck on a future boss which you won't even be able to cheese because you don't have the skill level to pull off the cheese. GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE. FIGHT THE FUCKERS FAIR.
- IF YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF METAL ON METAL YOU HAVE MISSED YOUR DEFLECTION WINDOW. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. That's just not how I learned how to parry. I waited for the sound. I don't know.
- USE YOUR FUCKIN ITEMS. Holy shit they make a difference. Nearly everything is infinite or infinitely farmable. WHY ARE YOU HOLDING ONTO YOUR SHIT. USE IT.
Bonus thing I learned by myself bc nobody was able to explain this for some reason
- The resurrection system: You start off with two resurrection nodes. The one that looks like a snowflake recharges every time you sit down and rest. The one that looks like a leaf charges with "life force" sucked out of killed enemies. Not every enemy has "life force" to suck out of them. By my rough estimate it's like 1 in 8. Each regular enemy only contributes something like 1/25 of your node recharge. A successful life force suck will glow red in your chest for a split second after you kill them. Recharging your leaf node by killing regular enemies require something like 40 enemies. Taking a health bar off of bosses recharges it much faster (like 4 life bars or something). Leave an easy to stealth kill boss alive while dealing with harder bosses for an easy leaf node recharge. Simply hit and run away continuously until your node is refilled. This is so fucking stupid.
Your leaf node will be struck out if you die and use your primary snowflake node. You won't be able to access your second revival until you either kill like 20 enemies or last like 10 additional minutes against a boss or take another health bar off a boss. It's also stupid.
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mallowmaenad · 6 months ago
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im unemployed and smell bad. im slightly addicted to thc, i couldn't get passed undead burg in dark souls 1, I have manic depression, bpd, ptsd, autism and something like schizophrenia, i suck ass at most physical activities, I make microwave quesadillas at 3am, i eat pepperonies straight out of the bag, I can easily be pushed into a spiral of panic and sadness if you use a harsh enough tone with me, I drink to get drunk, all of my previous friend groups have abandoned me for my rancid vibes and mental illness, I have opinions on hentai, ny favorite streaming service is tubi, when i was a kid i would always get into the flash in the pan comeptitor to pokemon that would inevitably fail, i have completely silent orgasms, i sometimes go two or three days without changing clothes and sometimes don't shower for several days. I am still touch starved even though I have a girlfriend (im polyamorous but i dont think anyone else wants to hit at this point) I can't drive, I dropped out of community college, I have a fear of rain, I have given up on leaving my house to socialize, my favorite video game series of all time is Borderlands, I liked the live action super mario brothers movie, I go too far when it comes to kinning fictional characters, doing the dishes makes me really sad, I have such a specific hair color that it is hard to accurately render it in a piccrew. ive been on tumblr since 2013. I think homestuck is good. im a lesbian but id fuck big the cat. i feel bad about exerting authority in any of the like three discord servers I administrate. I kind of like the newest limp bizkit album and playsation 1 y2k liquid dnb jungle compilation playlists on youtube. I have just the right cocktail of adhd, memory loss, DID and chronic pain to make me seem like a lazy inconsiderate asshole. I dont care that the designs in dragon's crown are sexist. I have not listened to any presently relevant music other than Kendrick Lamar's diss tracks and struggle to recognize artists and celebrities by name, most of my skirts are so short that they're slightly inappropriate to wear in public and im not conventionally sexy enough to pull it off, my tits are small but are just large enough that they dont appeal to people who like small tits, I unintentionally put random affects on my voice, I want to learn japanese one day for nerd reasons but probably wont. I liked Rogue One, I suck at reading books, I hate going to places with a lot of people that play loud music, I hate 21st century pop a lot, I feel disconnected from the lgbt community despite being a transgender lesbian, I crave intimacy and pleasure but hate sex, im extremely easy to misunderstand in drastic ways, i think i might be a demon no i cant do any cool demon magic, i havent made music in several months and what i have made isnt very good and is technically incompetent because i dont have any actual training in any instruments, I think Pinkerton was a mediocre at best album, I like taco bell and don't care how much it fucks up my stomach, im a germaphobe with a piss fetish and yeah that makes it just about as conflicting and complicated as you may think it is, ive been kicked from age regressor discords, when I was early into my transition i modeled my fashion after vriska serket, i used to live off of shoplifted protein bars, ive barely ever paid rent on time when i was still paying rent, at multiple jobs ive worked at management has made it clear that everyone working there hates me. i play weird and obscure races in dnd. I do not like most of the final fantasy games released after final fantasy 9, I get sniffly and congested embarrassingly often, my dick is too short to be attractive to people that like long girldick and too long to be attractive to people that like short girldick, I like that cheap hot sauce is 70% vinegar. im like if tomoko kuroki was too large, too masculine and just old enough to no longer be moe anymore. anyway my dms are open
there is literally nothing in this world more endearing than a girl who is an absolute loser
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If you have come this far, you must know that I am not actually a big floating skull. sorry :( I'm Melie, although some folk call me Amelia or Summer! I am autistic, trans, bi, jewish, and not sure how to continue this part without coming off as gloomy and hopeless so I'll end it here. If I were to describe myself in one word it’d be “accidentally wrote too much” my former urls are Chboi and Cantowndemocracy. Under linebreak are more stuff about me without doxxing myself lol (is long though so know that you don't gotta read it all lol. if you do tho comment something!)
I have memory issues so if we are friends and just stopped talking, do not think I hate you or left purposefully, i genuinely just forgot. Sometimes life happens and we get caught up in it, it's not your fault.
I post generic gay shit. not sure of a better word for it
I am not doing well. like. at all. mentally. physically either. but nobody seems to be nowadays, so it isn't as lonely as it used to be. I don't talk to people on the regular or even really like have friends irl so i value the ones I do make a lot.
Stuff I like and currently engage with: OFF the game, Homestuck/Hiveswap but especially friendsim , Project Moon (Limbus Company, Lobotomy Corporation, Library of Ruina), Omori, DND, Disco Elysium, Dark Souls 1 and 3,
Stuff I like but do not currently engage with but you might see me posting about: clowns / commedia dell'arte, space jam, star wars, magic the gathering, undertale, pokemon, yugioh, project zomboid, slay the spire, world of horror, naruto, stardew valley, yume nikki, bnha when i was a teen but superpowers are still cool to me, fear and hunger 1&2, dwarf fortress, katana zero, Dragon Age Origins specifically because I haven't played the other ones yet, don't starve, vampire survivors, 7daystodie but i haven't engaged with the community ever, noita, darkest dungeon, hades, fnaf, minecraft but not minecraft youtubers i kinda somehow missed all that, elden ring, terraria, balatro, KeeperRL, cookie clicker, Fallout, Persona 3 4 and 5, Borderlands 2, Skyrim, the binding of isaac, banjo and kazooie, spelunky, portal, halo, castle crashers, Lord of the Rings,
Games I've 100%ed: Lobotomy Corporation, Limbus Company, Omori, Disco Elysium, Dark Souls 1 and 3, World of Horror, Fear and Hunger 1 and 2, Darkest Dungeon, Hades, Elden Ring, Cookie Clicker (PAIN), Fallout 4, Persona 4 & 5, and Skyrim.
Games I've 100%ed multiple times for fun + autism reasons: Lobotomy Corporation. only like 3-4 times. and no i do not mean memory synchronization i mean fully deleting save data and redoing core suppressions and missions and get every ego and try to get the angela 100% abnormality dissolution ending every time. Do not ask why because I'm not really sure either. angela would fucking hate me if I was the manager fr. I also had to restart halfway on the second because I forgot the username and password to my first steam account and had to make a new one. Library of Ruina. I stopped counting after 12. I would go out of my way to get every copy of each page possible and 1-5-15 of each card in the game and then just. delete save data and start again because the story is nice and I like abnormalities and i like card games. I also like doing stupid challenge runs to make things fun like base pages only (had to ban alriune and big and might be bad wolf's abno pages because they broken for this) or no passive attribution (the only challenge run i only did once because it sucked.) It is not technically a game I've 100%ed but my steam glitched and thinks I have like 13000 hours in limbus company lmao, my steam is chaosDunk (i have the little cat from omori as my avatar)!
that's all, thanks for readingI Before I end this post, I am deeply autistic and have memory issues (tbigirls ftw. the irony is not lost on me that I like lobotomy corporation and I had a tbi). so if we stop talking or have already stopped, my bad, but feel free to enter dms anytime. I also cannot for the life of me tell what i am feeling in any given moment so sorry if I am unable to describe how I'm feeling in any given moment.
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hospitalterrorizer · 9 months ago
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diary245
5/19-20/24
sunday - monday
soon i rlly will quit work.
today was a good day off of work, i got stuff done around the house and worked on one song, + wrote something new ( i feel like almost every day i'm writing little new things, little riffs and new sounds (need to track those better in my notes soon too (i might save that for after i quit cuz it's a bit like busy-work which is too soul crushing to do when i have a real job (maybe why the mixing stuff is so hard for me also))) but this one feels like there's a lot possible for a song, or like, it's already kind of pretty formed as a couple ideas. starting w/ a lady gaga idea which is "start with the chorus" which i don't necessarily believe in, or i guess i don't believe in the other half of the quote (obvious hyperbole on her part) but it's "your song sucks otherwise" or somesuch thing. anyway, that seeped its way into my head and then the little idea i had, some fucked up chord thing, emerged as a chorus to me i guess. so that's fun.
i did also do some other mixing stuff, a couple songs i remixed weren't where i needed them so i got them there, so it's more like i worked on 3 songs but only 1 bit of headway in the track listing basically. it's crazy to think about how much effort i put into all this, and how many people will even notice? it's such like, fast and sloppy sounding (intentionally) music, does the fact that the snare's ring is kind of harsh and weird even come through in the timespan of these songs? it doesn't matter, honestly. just odd to think about.
so 15/32, not too bad, the goal today was 16/32 but that's okay, if i'm too tired and busy with like, having fun i guess, that's better for me probably and i need to not be hard on myself always.
i spent a lot of today, beyond doing the prep for cooking, and actually cooking, and dealing with the horrible creatures we have to share our stupid apartment with, playing vampire the masquerade bloodlines. the game really relaxes me, in a way lot of other games do not. i just really love the atmosphere and that i can be a weird awkward looking vampire girl (i playe tremere cuz the blood magic thing is like so cute tbh. like is there anything cuter than being able to make people explode from the inside??). n-e-wayzzz, why can't i be a vampire irl?? it's so messed up. i would be really good at it. or maybe not but i'd be good at the 'stay in the dark all the time' part.
anyways i am super sleepy, i stayed up too late but i go in pretty late at work tomorrow, so that's okayyy.
i sent off the assemblage poem, or part of it only, to a friend, to see if that can be put somewhere. hope that gets accepted, if not, i'm going to try and work out some shorter poems/poetic-ish things. that has to happen this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have to make sure i do that or at least approach it.
summer break starts for the kids, i'm really horrified about that. hope it's really nothing but it could be something. awful!!
so,
byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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gorematchala · 10 months ago
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I've been playing a ton of shit and not talking about it but
Star Ocean 2nd Story (PS1) is already one of my favorite RPGs just like First Departure R was. I'm kinda leaning toward not liking Claude but its probably because I'm playing as Rena so I'm not getting his internal monologue. But based on his intro in the 2nd Story R demo and how he's acting about Dias I'm like youre kinda a dumbass huh. But not in the lovable heroic way Roddick was. But I think its fine if he kinda sucks, there's room for that
Umihara Kawase is another game that is like instantly on my favorites of all time list. I'm on stage 5 and I'm like okay top 3 SNES game. Could be top 1 but Hebereke and Star Ocean are on there too hehe. But its like a physics based grapple platformer and its so cool. I need to go look at the new one again even though its kinda uggy
I bought Mushihime-sama because I'm still trying to expand my shmup horizons but I haven't been on my Switch much because I'm playing Star Ocean 2 and Pokemon Ruby but from the 2 seconds I played it was really good
Kingdom Hearts 358/2 days, I'm giving so much leniency because I want to like Xion and I wanna experience her story. So far I've only done the tutorial with Axel and its a DS game so I dont expect much from it in terms of performance or visuals or whatever, its fine. My problem and why I'm having to exercise patience is that the writing of that series is so frustrating. The idea of that game is flawed. The whole thing exists to make the organization seem lamer. Like the mysterious shadow guys that were a big threat in chain of memories and 2, those guys all get together for meetings where xemnas assigns them busy work and they groan and complain about it even though i always forget theyre supposed to be emotionless. Vexen doing the Nagatoro crazy eyes all the time doesnt come off as hollow to me. It just makes me mad because its like FF7 where it could be great but a man named Tetsuya Nomura was handed a pen and paper and now we're here. But I will do it for her
I played 20 minutes of Izuna Legend of the Unemployed Ninja and I basically did the intro and then died to the 3rd enemy in the first floor of the dungeon but that game shouldve been more popular. It's really good but unfortunately it released on the same system as Pokémon Mystery Dungeon. Izuna sucks so bad I love her. The first thing she does is go to a shrine that says "this gem keeps the gods from being mad at us do not touch" and shes like hehehe all for meeee. Then the inn keeper is like I'm charging you 300x the rent till you fix this and shes like "we cant afford that, I will pay it... with my life" and she takes out a matchlock pistol and puts it to her head, and the inn lady is like yeah alright do it, and then you hear a click noise and Izuna is like damn out of bullets. I was like this is an insane way to introduce this character but shes my fail girl and we're gonna solve this curse together
The other fun thing has been playing Dark Souls 1 with my brother alongside his co-op playthrough of Smellden Ring with his partner, cuz DS1 is a good game and Smellden Ring is so bad that he has fully admitted I was right when i was bitching like a year ago or whatever. Cuz he took faith this time and now that theyve hit the wall of Mohg and Malenia hes like why the fuck is everything in this fucking game INT. And I'm like yeah dude, idk!!! But then like, we just did Sen's Fortress in DS1 and that place is so mean and fucked up but I was having a chill time just walking through all the traps and snake men and kicking my feets under the desk. DS1 is fully relaxing to me just like Bloodborne and most of DS3. Next time we play is O&S though so I'll get back 2 u on that statement
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hotcupoteckla · 5 months ago
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So, I like different editions of the game and they give different Vibes.
1st: The Beta Run, the old Fallout Game & Diablo style of play. It IS just Dungeons & Dragons, but if you're witty or clever enough you can break the DMs expectations and win the loot.
2nd: thac0 and the gritty art & relevancy of Every Rule Ever that you need to know all conditions that apply? Fuck yes, you're in the Dark Souls version where there is Deep Lore & some Role-playing available, but combat is deeply involved, and everything that spent time specializing has become relevant in later levels and your skill generalist is the support as intended. You need to know what you have with you at all times and you get minions that mean something to the story so you can build influence in an area and become the Dark Souls Boss. Rules Lawyer Haven.
3rd-3.5e: Did you want EPIC QUESTS?!?! We have the place for you! Steampunk? Check! Samurai? Check! Fucking wicked ass magic items that are regularly everywhere and everyone you meet has been an adventurer at one point? CHECK, MY FRIENDS! You don't need to worry about that BESM system over there, or that D20 modern system over there, just stick with us and you can live out your Human to Hero Final Fantasy Pokémon dreams right here, buddy!
Why yes that means out focus on Role-playing has diminished the coolness of survival type styles of games, but we do have lots of undead available in our rules for your Gunslinging Dark Tower Action Man to take them out on the regular. Leveling from 1 to 20? Why? You're super powerful at level 5! Minions are meaningless? Why, of course they are! They just follow you around, and I mean you can have them if you wanted, I guess, but this is YOUR STORY, so don't you want more Epic Quest?
4th ed: Hey guys, I hear Warhammer is having a revival of sorts and everybody's into painting all of a sudden, why don't you try out OUR EFFICIENT Non-Rules Lawyering,(Not stolen from the Star Wars Minis) 100% No RolePlay Encouraging, We Only have Battles on the Table Now System?
Elminster? Who the fuck is that? We don't care- I mean, here he is! Check out his minifig stats! Put him up against...*rummaging in box noises* Strahd! And his 3 delicious Vampire Babes! And check out these Eberron Steamjacks!
Did we say it was Non-Rules Lawyering?! We LIED! All of your Worst RP Friends ever (BroGrammers Galore!) will both Complain ceaselessly about this game WHILE Insisting On Only Playing This System, because while it SUCKS ASS FOR RP, it makes SENSE for Minis, that they live for. Minis & Cards.
Aka Hey man, I heard you like Warcraft & Starcraft? Well we put plastic pewter in your Warhammercraft/Starcraft.
5th Ed: Hey guys, um sorry about that mess back there. Did you guys miss role-playing? Oh, I see we're making podcasts now, that's nice, let's make a rules set for you 😉 😀 I mean, we gotta put these Rules Bits in there so the 4th ed and 2nd ed guys are willing to buy our books again, but yknow, this edition isn't about that. It's about sitting at the campfire with your friends and having fun Magic stories to um... to be nostalgic about, and come up with to make memories with um... hey are you guys hearing that? *checks bushes, 👀 Critical Role hitting a jackpot with a slot machine* huh, well as I was saying, what? *Witnesses Acquisitions Incorporated making a whole supplement book crossing the camp* "HUH. As I was saying, while we can't specialize and expect to make a prof-" *Vox Machina, Fool's Gold, Legends of Avernus, Dimension 20 & Dungeons & Daddies making specialized systems as mini games to fix bad rules, making bank*
"HEY, STOP THAT. YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE OUR NICE RULES FREE GAMES AND MAKE ACTUAL MONEY OFF THEM. WE CAN'T, SO YOU CAN'T EITHER"
rp groups who are doing well: "Hey WotC, we tried getting hired by you, and you said we didn't have the business sense to make it in the industry, and you made it be a free access license because that was the terms you bought it from TSR."
WotC: "Well, we'll see about THAT!"
Yeah, different Vibes in each edition.
Anyway OP, If you can find a set of 2nd edition, it might be more your style, but I do agree that it's weird the developers feel the need to include Bad Rules in order to make a profit, when after all, they could just remove the rules and make a minibook revolving around survival and make more money that way.
It's often remarked how D&D 5e's play culture has this sort of disinterest bordering on contempt for actually knowing the rules, often even extending to the DM themselves. I've seen a lot of different ideas for why this is, but one reason I rarely see discussed is that actually, a lot of 5e's rules are not meant to be used.
Encumbrance is a great example of this. 5e contains granular weights for all the items that you might have in your inventory, and rules for how much you can carry based on your strength score, and they've set these carry capacities high enough that you should never actually need to think about them. And that's deliberate, the designers have explicitly said that they've set carrying capacity high enough that it shouldn't come up in normal play. So for a starting DM, you see all these weights, you see all the rules for how much people can carry or drag, and you've played Fallout, you know how this works. And then if you try to actually enforce that, you find that it's insanely tedious, and it basically never actually matters, so you drop it.
Foraging is the example of this that bothers me most. There's a whole system for this! A table of foraging DCs, and math for how much food you can find, and how long you can go without food, etc. But the math is set up so that a person with no survival proficiency and a +0 to WIS, in a hostile environment, will still forage enough food to be fine, and the starvation rules are so generous that even a run of bad luck is unlikely to matter. So a DM who actually tries to use these rules will quickly find that they add nothing but bookkeeping. You're rolling a bunch of checks every day of travel for something that is purpose built not to matter. And that's before you add in all the ways to trivialize or circumvent this.
These rules don't exist to be used, that is not their purpose. These rules exist because the designers were scared of the backlash to 4e, and wanted to make sure that the game had all the rules that D&D "should" have. But they didn't actually want these mechanics. They didn't want the bookkeeping, they didn't care about that style of play, but they couldn't just say, "this game isn't about that" for fear of angering traditionalists. And unfortunately the way they handled this was by putting in rules that are bad, that actively fight anyone who wants to use that style of play and act as a trap to people who take the rules in good faith.
And this means that knowing what rules are not supposed to be used is an actual skill 5e DMs develop. Part of being a good 5e DM is being able to tell the real rules that will improve your game from the fake rules that are there to placate angry forum posters. And that's just an awful position to put DMs in (especially new DMs), but it's pretty unsurprising that it creates a certain contempt for knowing the rules as written.
You should have contempt for some of the rules as written. The designers did.
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terras-diary · 1 year ago
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game review - valkyrie elysium
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it sucked. okay review over, thanks everybody.
okay so i will say more but just know i could have left it at that and it wouldn't make much of a difference.
context: i started this back in july of 2023 but then i booted up final fantasy xiv and well we know how that went.
story: what story? nothing happened. it's a walmart retelling of the love story of the first one plus the typical odin bad which was VP 1+2 (and maybe the ds game? never played that one) there is nothing original that is simultaneously good. it's the same shit but worse!!
also - in the original valkyrie profile games it's assumed that (at least this is what i got out of them) that there is a single valkyrie soul. it travels space and time to reincarnate into different human girls and takes the form of one of the three valkyrie. hrist in the far past, silmeria in the distant past, and lenneth in the present. they are separate personalities but at the end of the day they cannot exist all together. except that one time in valkyrie profile 2, but that was different.
so who is nora then. she's the valkyrie now. but where does she fall into the line? what about hilde? why did she 'betray' odin'? shouldn't they be the game girl? the game doesn't even answer what little questions it presents.
battling: it's not even in profile! okay, only half kidding (or am i) but none of these damn buttons do what you think they should do.
you can't cancel out of any moves you make. so if you see you are about to get hit, welp! too bad! you just have to sit there and watch nora get her ass beat. and god, when she gets knocked down it takes her twenty years to get back up. this isn't even an action game, it's like if you put my big ass in there and expected me to do this stuff. that's about how this game plays out.
no stores either. i kept all my items because up until the final boss gauntlet i didn't need them. i used all my items in those 3 fights and still, just by the skin of my teeth, did i beat the game. get good or whatever. you have to replay each chapter (to the end) to get and keep your items.
and the enemies. all five of them. plus their four recolors. so awesome.
other odds and ends: the voice acting is not synced to the lip movements at all. what's up with that?
the graphics suck. everything is brown, dreary and dark. there are thick black outlines over most things because it's too difficult to see otherwise.
why the fuck is this game called valkyrie elysium? valkyries = norse mythology and elyisum = greek mythology. it's simple stuff like that that makes you just know that they just didn't care.
and who is they you might ask? well square enix nor tri-ace could be bothered so it was handed off to soleil. you know one of the reasons i gave this game another chance is that i had such a good time with the star ocean 2 remake. that game was handed off to a (seemingly) no name studio only for me to find out it was founded by the same guy who was the battle programmer for valkyrie profile + star ocean. so i was willing to give it another chance, as i had only played for like two hours.
i shouldn't have. soleil makes like shitty anime fighting games. which explains the janky ass battle system.
one good thing i will say - you know i liked nora's design. hilde too. it wasn't too sexualized the way anime girls are now. they both had an oddly square jaw i found charming. i loved hilde's wavy long hair. at least their outfits were reminiscent of valkyrie profile.
conclusion: this is a shut up game. this is something so corporate so churned out of the cogs to feed as slop to valkyrie profile fans. no, i am not known to exaggerate at all. but seriously, don't waste your time. it's obvious no one else bothered so why should you?
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