#FORTY !!!! F ORTY !!!!

[timelcved]

        @hatilead  said :  👫  but for every dynamic .  WARNING ,  LONG POST ,  PART TWO OF TWO .

gil + fin

𝟏 .  she always makes a big deal out of dancing together ,  or rather ,  why she won’t dance to terrible 80s music with him ,  but she is always very easily pulled onto a tabletop .  they are some of her best memories ,   &  it kills her every single time she plays duran duran  &  receives no flicker of recognition from his eyes .  𝟐 .  in a moment of what she adamantly describes as weakness ,  she lets him dye her hair .  anything ,  since she trusts him .  he goes with pink ,  but like -   a very tasteful pink  (  see second picrew photo  ) .  all she asks in return is he get a streak of black ,  possibly hidden in his curls .  just so they can match .   𝟑 .  she never admits to reading his books ,  but sometimes when she falls asleep in her favorite chair ,  he can see she’s clutching tightly to one .  all are well - worn ,  &  lovingly annotated ,  SOMETIMES she makes a quiet commentary about some book she might have picked up ,  gil understands  &  always engages in the conversation about a hypothetical book .  𝟒 .  it is incredibly difficult for her to really consider her emotions ,  &  even worse to try to voice them .  i weep about this often , but for gil  &  gil alone ,  she tries .  does not fight him off when he gives her a good smooch on the top of her head ,  smiles becoming a little less feral ,  &  when he tells her goodnight ,  she answers to the cat ,  goodnight ,  love you very much ,  puck . 

jacky + quinn 

𝟏 .  in some lifetimes ,  they get married first before finding charlie .  in these lifetimes specifically ,  she is always trying to rope them into crazy adventures they might otherwise have done by themselves before she comes around .  i think in one lifetime ,  she finds charlie first if only because she sneaks from their home  &  finds herself in another country with or without jacky  (  but jacky is always invited on these trips !  sometimes just a little bit delayed -  ) . 𝟐 .  anytime they have a chance to be on a boat ,  quinn is trying to swim to it ,  around it ,  just anywhere in the water .  it probably gives jacky a heart attack ,  but they simply love the thrill of it .  additionally ,  jacky has to learn very quickly to stay away from the edge ,  because she will pull them in for some fun underwater kisses . 𝟑 .  one of her favorite pastimes is to read to them by the fireplace .  either in a pile of blankets just by it ,  or on a cozy couch off to the side .  she always insist that jacky puts their head in her lap while she reads ,  so that she can massage their scalp with her free hand .  for three lifetimes straight ,  she read nothing but scary stories -  getting absolutely into bringing it to life to try to scare them .  it only worked about half the time ,  the other half -  jacky is able to scare her first .  𝟒 .  sometimes ,  quinn remembers first ,  &  realizes she’s nearest to jacky .  she always makes it her goal to try to flirt her way into their heart again ,  &  go about it in some pretty terrible ways .  sometimes she literally forces herself between them  &  a dance partner ,  other times ,  she goes tanning on their cruise ship ,  but like .  topless .  anything that gets their attention ,  even if it is negative .  she just finds the thrill in seeing the exasperation in their eyes melting into recognition ,  back into exasperation . 

the doc + scotty 

𝟏 .  so the doctor is they type to literally randomly appear  where he should not be .  that’s fine ,  real zesty ,  his psychic paper says he’s an admiral or something ,  he immediately begins his adventure by flirting .  𝟐 .  when he inevitably extends the offer to take him places  (  &  be back on the ship before anything can happen to the silver lady  )  ,  he has a whole room set to the side for just scotty to tinker around with .  it is mostly filled with abandoned projects ,  he can have fun .   𝟑 .  i also feel like scotty would not do the ‘ bigger on the inside ’  bit when he sets foot in the tardis ,  &  the doctor has to have an entire moment where he reconsiders the invitation because it’s no fun when they don’t do the bit .  scotty instead gives the very smart ,  very long observation about pocket dimensions  &  liminal spaces  ,  &  then the doctor considers death ,  or kissing  -  it’s always a little bit of a combo .  𝟒 .  just when scotty may think he is rid of the doctor ,  he always pops right back up ,  with a smile even brighter ,  &  a bigger adventure promised .  he can say no ,  that’s fine  -  but any travel that is denied is basically an invitation for him to come stay on the enterprise .  scotty is terribly disappointed at just how well the psychic paper works on others .  

loon + honey 

𝟏 .  here is a fun mental image :  cosmic wolf snuggles ,  whether or not honey presents as an animal or a human .  they’re cold to the touch ,  even under thick fur ,  but they give The Best nuzzles  &  wolf kisses .  plenty of times they wake up honey like this as well .  their comfort is their top priority all the time .  𝟐 .  loon is secretly terrified of heights ,  &  honey is the first to discover this .  they sit at the top of a ferris wheel that gets stuck ,  &  loon sits there clinging to their arm for dear life .  𝟑 .  sometimes ,  out of jealousy ,  the wolf that stalks loon will take the appearance of honey specifically .  it is always much too late  when loon realizes they are with the wrong wolf ,  &  immediately upon their return ,  they are immediately apologizing .  loon may be the one to be lost ,  but they are always the first to apologize ,  to take honey’s face in their hands  &  beg forgiveness amidst dozens of kisses .    but for this reason ,  they try not to be around wolves unless they watch honey transition in front of them .  𝟒 .  they have the ability to manifest their body in such a way that they could be taller ,  but i think they simply enjoy being the smallest in the trio .  this likely means they are often trying to ride piggyback style ,  or on their back as a wolf .  no matter the way ,  loon always tucks their face into the crook of their neck  &  whispers to them -  perhaps stories of the world behind ,  or stories of the world above .

skip + coraline . 

𝟏 .  skip begs at least weekly  to be taught how to properly crawl through a vent .    she gets stuck .  they do not tell sophie of this .  𝟐 .  shopping is for sure skip’s love language ,  no matter what kind .  coraline is likely made to go with her to ensure she doesn’t buy everything in sight ,  but it’s not super successful because likely the pair of them make a game of how much can we just shove in our pockets  &  get away with .   they have been banned from three supermarket chains  &  one mall in three different countries .  𝟑 .  every anniversary ,  no matter how small it may seem ,  skip gets her swords ,  always engraved with cute messages .  some are replicas of some incredibly dangerous historical weapons ,  &  other times they are small enough to be hidden on her person while she’s out  &  about .  𝟒 .  they have tank tops that say  ‘ sun’s out ,  guns out ’  &  they are worn specifically on any job that requires a whole shootout  because you know they get bored  &  sometimes plan an entire shootout .  they also have matching cashmere robes ,  but those match less with the tank tops - 

[heamatic-archive]

@ephemeralkryonics​

Subject: LK-520 Current Class: Euclid Security Clearance Level: 5 (Level 6)

Special Containment Procedure: LK-520 is to be kept in a cryo containment chamber at -600F (-351C) at all times in order to keep it in a constant stasis state. By no means will the subject’s cryo temperature be lowered unless specified by Doctor Hanzo Hasashi and Doctor Harumi Hasashi or Level 6 personnel. In the event of a power failure, a generator has been set in place specifically for the cryo containment chamber of LK-520, with a battery life of 600 hours. In absolutely no circumstances will the battery be unplugged from the chamber unless proven to possess a leak and must be repaired, in which case proper specialists will be called on site by Ilaria to fix the problem.

—— The Ilaria Corporation.

-----------------------

Please provide protocol code. |

          ❝Doctor Hanzo Hasashi. Code 39866-09265…. Override Harumi Hasashi’s protocol permanently. Code 87654-00986 — Password: 1501. Osaka.❞

Override successful. Please advise. |

          ❝Bring temperature of LK-520’s containment chamber to -30 degrees throughout a period of forty-eight hours. Do not awaken subject until I say so.❞

Acknowledged. |

------------------------

          ❝I want extra security on this level at all times, but never inside the room. He must never come in contact with security personnel. Understood?❞ Doctor Hasashi.           ❝Even when you’re inside the room?❞ Daniel.

          ❝Especially when I’m inside the room. And that applies to you as well.❞

          ❝But — ❞, worry etches across the large man’s features, his gaze falling onto the monitor showing a panorama of the large room maintained cold at all times. ❝— what if the same thing happens as last time? Sub Zero could have caused serious damage not just to the base, but to you and — ❞

          ❝ — I am aware, Daniel❞,Doctor Hanzo Hasashi cuts off his adopted sun briskly, but not unkindly. He knows the risks. He knows what must be done. The sacrifices necessary. Long fingers travel across the colorless screen the color of cloud covered skies, lets them caress where the chamber rests at its center like a coffin with the subject his next experiments rests. ❝But there will be no repeat of last time. Tundra is much more — malleable — than his brother was. The danger is substantial if not nil. I need you and your team to make sure there are no unnecessary ins and outs. And shut down the cameras. There is no need for them. Are we clear?❞

         Resolved and resolute, the chief of security nods, pulling his eyes away from the screen and his father’s reaching hand. ❝….Yes, sir.❞

----------------------------

          Forty-eight hours have passed, and now Doctor Hasashi, dressed in thick wool, stands next to the cryo containment chamber, thawed to a proper temperature. The machine next to it beeps with each calm heartbeats — the man inside serene, almost child like in the way he is oblivious to the world around him. Last they saw one another, Harumi was still among them — although LK-520 had been drugged and seldom aware of much, but he had captured Hanzo and his wife’s curiosity, had become their personal pet project. Now Harumi is no more, but the feelings associated with the palid face behind the thick glass has remained, he finds. Something in his gut stirs, makes him shudder despite the his warm attire. Licks his lips and strolls to the nearest console, sliding his hand across the scanner.

          ❝Doctor Hasashi. Code 39866-09265. Password: 1501. Osaka.❞

Please advise. |

          ❝Replace stasis agent with waking agent.❞

Acknowledged. Awaking patient. |

          It takes several minutes where he watches the body of the subject twitches, little spasms as brain and body become aware of one another once more. Eyes rolling beneath closed eyelids.… Is he dreaming? Or is he in a dark void? Soon Hanzo takes a step back as the thick glass slides downward, icy plumes swirling into the air of the cold room.

Awakening complete. |

                              ❝—— Welcome back, Kuai Liang.❞

[mermadeinoregon]

Shades of You AU Masterlist

Jungkook x Artist Reader ( aka Effie)

Stephanie Weaver, or as her friends call her, Effie, is an American Art Major who leaves behind her sketchbook. Jungkook just so happens to find said sketchbook and finds himself needing to know more about the artist behind it. Featuring a thirsty Park Jimin flirting with soundcloud rapper AgustD because Yoonim is still my ultimate ship ;]

A/N I dont update the masterlist as much as I update the AU so you can also catch up by searching the tag: shades of you au

Parts

one                     twenty one                forty one

two                     twenty two                forty two

three                  twenty three              forty three 

four                    twenty four                forty four

five                    twenty five                  forty five   

six                     twenty six                   forty six

seven               twenty seven              forty seven

eight                twenty eight                 forty eight

nine                 twenty nine                 forty nine

ten                 [30 is missing???]        fifty

eleven              thirty one                    fifty one

twelve              thirty two                    fifty two

thirteen           thirty three                  fifty three

fourteen         thirty four                    fifty four

fifteen             thirty five                    fifty five

sixteen           thirty six                      fifty six

seventeen      thirty seven                epilogue

eighteen         thirty eight

nineteen        thirty nine

twenty           forty

[theliterarybreakdown]

Pathetic Fallacy: The Symbolism of Weather and the Defying of Nature in Shelley’s Frankenstein

Reading Time: 1.50 mins

Everyone who’s read Shelley’s Frankenstein will know the age old saying- ‘he’s not Frankenstein, he’s Frankenstein’s monster’. However, this blurring of lines between creator and created, poses the question where does one begin or end? And how can we differentiate between the two? By creating something against the natural order ultimately takes away Frankenstein’s humanity putting him closer to his creature than to the rest of society? I mean we’ve all heard the phrase the apple doesn’t fall from the tree.

In this particular blog post I will be exploring how natural symbolism, mainly pathetic fallacy, contributes to Frankenstein’s defying of the natural order through his perverse creation of life. Frankenstein’s  creation of a living thing occurs on ‘a dreary night in November’. The inclusion of this description creates an interesting juxtaposition, as the symbolism of winter, when the leaves are dying and decaying, in contrast with creating a new life, suggesting the creation of the creature itself subverts the natural timeline in which life is created. The absence of the feminine within the creation of Frankenstein’s creature ultimately means that Frankenstein becomes an almost sole parent. Applegate argues that the moral conclusion from Shelley’s story is that it is ‘far better to deny ourselves the new knowledge than to suffer the hideous consequences of playing God’. The symbolism of pathetic fallacy is key in understanding the role of playing God, as the bible itself uses this exact technique to demonstrate his power. In Genesis 7 God himself causes it to rain for ‘forty days and forty nights’ in order to ‘destroy from the face of the earth all living things I have made’, this demonstrates that the symbol weather demonstrates the vengeance of God and his power.

Sherwin makes a point about the creation of the creature to be a ‘primal sin against nature’, suggesting nature itself is an extension of God and a subversion of the natural order of creation ultimately becomes a ‘sin’. This god-fearing rhetoric is littered throughout Shelley’s novel, as God himself could be seen to appear in the form of a ‘tremendous…glacier’ in which Frankenstein encounters. This impressive structure is expanded further through the almost religious experience of ‘sublime ecstasy’ Frankenstein has when he encounters this huge, imposing form. This contrasts deeply from the feeling of horror he has when he views his own creation, suggesting that God’s creation is the only one that can be perceived as good - and anything that goes against his natural construction is ultimately corrupt.

Pathetic fallacy as a symbol within Frankenstein, acts a demonstration of God’s power, and his ability to create things of beauty and things of power. It becomes an underlying notion of his presence throughout the novel, which concludes within the ice- a blanche, pure yet dangerous thing in which Frankenstein himself ultimately perishes. Before that his death is foreshadowed by this harsh landscape, with the ‘thunder of ground sea’ threatening his ‘destruction’, suggesting an almost biblical death- in which a great flood removes him so that God can repurify his own creation.

[la-fille-en-aiguilles]

THE PUNISHER | Billy Russo 

The Only Living Thing

Señorita 🌸

Blackout | Random One-Shot Series :  One (Russo’s place) - Two (The elevator) 🌸

DAREDEVIL | Matt Murdock

The Bucket List or “Oh my Dear Lord”

“Tell him no”

THE MARAUDERS | Harry Potter Universe

x  remus lupin 

Night Intruder (3-part series):  night intruder, pt 1 - marauder invasion, pt 2 -vixen, pt 3

The Beautiful & Damned (7-part series - featuring reader x sirius black): the golden couple, ch 1 - no, definitely, ch 2 - misread, ch 3 - bravado falls, ch 4 - marauders to the rescue, ch 5 -  selflessness & camaraderie that know no bounds, ch 6 - the beautiful & damned, ch 7

x  sirius black

His Father’s Son 

Not a One Time Thing

THE AVENGERS | Tony Stark 

The New Age (2-part series): cheeseburger, pt 1 - macarons, pt 2

ACTORS | Ben Barnes, Andrew Garfield, James McAvoy...

x  andrew garfield 

Forty-fucking-three (4-part series): forty-fucking-three, pt 1 - new rule, pt 2 - twenty-four, sIx, pt 3 - one, pt 4 🌸

x  ben barnes

Goodnight, Barnes

Future Looks Good 

x  james mcavoy

Bloody numpties

x  harry styles

This Side of Paradise (series on standby) : this side of paradise, pt 1

SONS OF ANARCHY | Jax Teller

Half As Good As You (2-part series) : pt 1 - in progress

[kxrei]

❛ life is like that, isn’t it ? ❜

DEATHLESS.

      ‘ i lived an entire life trying to answer that very question. ’

            forty years he had searched for answers hoping that one day            he could finally understand the path before him. Forty years            he tried to love. tried to care. to find something to latch onto            and never let go.

                                                   i was a fool.                                                  but no longer

            no longer would he kneel and beg. no longer would he cry            out to a deaf god. no longer would he chase the meaning of            his life; his existence. no longer would he wonder. for he would            take by force the answer he seeks.

                                 for they will soon rue the day

      ‘ so yes. life is simply like that. ’

[fewtrees-blog1]

@primasouris || lyric start. || out  of  my  league... ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ 🌲  the  once-ler  couldn’t  help  but  be  grateful  for  the  woman  that�� offered  an ear  to  his  problems  when  they’d  first  met.  she  was  lovely,  really,  and  he  enjoyed  spending  time  with  her.  it  seemed  she  was  one  of  the  only  people  that  still  did.  maybe...  maybe  even  THE  only.  he  took  a  small  breath,  giggling  at  her  as  they  shared  a  simple  joke.  he  smiled,  eyes  filling  with  a   softness   that  couldn’t  be  described;  only  witnessed.

❝  forty  days  ,  and  forty  nights  . . .                           i’ve  waited  for  a  girl  like  you  to  come  and  save  my  life. ❞

[fivesaucekisses]

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven | twelve | thirteen | fourteen |fifteen |sixteen | seventeen | eighteen | nineteen | twenty | twenty-one | twenty-two | twenty-three |twenty-four |twenty-five | twenty-six | twenty-seven | twenty-eight | twenty-nine | thirty | thirty-one |thirty-two |thirty-three | thirty-four | thirty-five | thirty-six | thirty-seven | thirty-eight | thirty-nine | forty | forty-one | forty-two | forty-three | forty-four | forty-five | forty-six | forty-seven | forty-eight

—–

Just a quick warning before you read, this chapter is an emotional roller coaster from start to finish so buckle up kiddos and don’t hate us too much.  Love Taylor and Simone :))))

Chapter Forty-Nine:

Lauren’s P.O.V.

If someone had told me a year ago that I would be riding a subway alone in the outer parts of Brooklyn I would have thought they were crazy. Yet here I was stuck between a man three times the size of me and an old woman that smelled of moth balls. Shutting my eyes, I tried to listen to the music flowing through my headphones and forget where I was.

To be quite honest, I’m not sure how I ended up on this subway, or the one before it. I’d been trying to navigate myself to Ashton’s house, determined to figure out who exactly he thought he was to stand me up a little over a week ago and then refuse to even acknowledge that I exist on the same universe as he does. I wanted answers, and maybe a small part of me wanted to make sure he was okay.

The overhead speaker began announcing the next stop, which I’m sure, after checking with a sweet elderly woman, is the right one I should be taking. I stood eagerly from my seat as the train came to a halt and opened its doors. I made my way through the crowded subway station until I was finally above ground again. Taking a quick sigh of relief that I’d at least made it this far, I looked around the now familiar location. I hadn’t been back in this area since I’d been kicked out from Ashton’s house. The memory sent a small pang to my heart.

Nevertheless, I continued down the sidewalks determined as ever. In just a few minutes, his house came into view. I wasted no time as I strode confidently to the front door, giving it a few knocks. It didn’t take long before I heard movement on the other side of the door and I came face to face with Anne.

“Lauren,” she stated, clearly surprised to see me. “How have you been sweetheart? It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.”

“I’ve been good,” I said giving her as real of a smile as I could. “Is uhm, is Ashton home?” I questioned, trying to stop myself from peering over her shoulder into the house.

“Oh!” She grinned eagerly, “Was he expecting you?”

“No, not exactly-”

“Mum, who’s at the door?” I heard Ashton call out as he made his way down the stairs and into view. “Lauren?” He asked, frozen in his place.

Anne stood between the two of us for a moment, looking eagerly at the two of us as if waiting for one of us to say something. “Would you like to come in?” she finally spoke pulling the both of us out of our staring contest.

“She can’t-” he started to say before I cut him off.

“I’d love to,” I smiled sweetly at Anne as she draped an arm over my shoulder and pulled me into her side comfortingly. Despite everything that had happened between Ashton and I, his mother still acted as if I was one of her own.

As soon as I was through the door, she quickly excused herself stating she was just in the middle of some important business but I should ‘make myself at home,’ which was proving harder than expected with, a very stone cold looking, Ashton glaring at me from across the room.

“I honestly just came here to make sure you were okay,” I sighed, finally breaking down and breaking the silence.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know, maybe because I thought I’d give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that the only reason you’d stand me up and then proceed to literally ignore my entire existence for over a week was due to something serious,” I said, throwing my hands in the air.

“Well, I’m fine so,” he shrugged carelessly, which only made my blood boil more.

“So there’s no reason you stood me up? You just let me sit in a coffee shop by myself, for an hour, waiting for you because you were what? Too carefree to even call me and tell me you didn’t want to come?”

“It’s not like you told me you were ditching me for Tristan Davendouche either,” he snapped back.

“Wait you think that I- you think I ditched you for him?” I said, practically holding back my astonishment.

“You told me your mother was forcing you to go to this dinner and the next morning all I see are pictures of the two of you and articles in the papers about how you and Tristan were 'nothing but smiles.’ Doesn’t really scream the truth to me.” He said, shaking his head as he made his way back up the stairs and towards his room.

Groaning, I followed behind him, determined as ever. “My mom did make me go to that stupid dinner, I never lied and I at least had the decency to call you and tell you I wouldn’t be coming.” He continued to stomp up the stairs and ignore me, which only fueled my rage. “Why does it even matter? We’re just friends right? I shouldn’t have to tell you if I’m with another guy,” I spat, not even sure why I was suddenly so defensive over a night out with a guy I actually hated.

He quickly turned his attention to me, as if trying to read my expression. “If you came to see if I was okay, I think your mission was a success, so you can call your driver and have him come get you any time now,” he grumbled as he tried to shut the door to his room, which I managed to stop with the toe of my shoe.

“I actually took the subway,” I stated matter-of-factly, catching him off guard.

“You rode the subway alone?” he questioned; looking at me through the small gap in the door my shoe had managed to keep open.

“Desperate times,” I shrugged as he gave up on his attempt to shut the door and let it open.

“Look, Lo,” he sighed, looking over at me briefly before turning his gaze towards the ceiling. “I’m sorry for standing you up but I don’t think I can do this whole friendship thing.”

“What?” I asked incredulously, shocked that he would even say something like that. Being friends was his idea in the first place.

“I forgot what it’s like to be friends with you and honestly, I’m not sure it’s what I want,” he sighed; now refusing to look at me.

“But you’re the one that said-”

“I know what I said.”

“Then what do you want, Ashton?”

He sat quietly for a few minutes, probably thinking over what he was going to say next. “I want you, Lo,” he stated simply locking eyes with me from across the room.

Before I had a chance to stop myself the words slipped form my mouth. “Are you fucking serious?” His eyes widened at my statement, clearly not expecting that type of reaction. “You know, a month ago you broke up with me in this exact room and gave me no actual reason. Then you decided that you wanted us to be just friends,” I spat, getting more angry by the millisecond. “And now you’ve decided that you want me?” I practically yelled finally having the courage to make my way into his room.

“Lauren please-” He tried to reason with me, rising from his spot on the bed to slowly approach me before I cut him off.

“No, not this time,” I could feel the tears about to fall from my eyes as I struggled to keep from angry crying. “You’re the one that always seems to get to decide what we are. Not this time, Ashton.”

“But Lo I-” his voice was wavering as he stood perfectly still in the middle of his room.

“I love you,” I sighed, semi relieved to finally say those words after holding them in so long. “I love you so much and I know you love me, but despite all of that, you hurt me and I’m not ready to let you do that to me again.” I quickly wiped my face to get rid of the tears that had finally fallen.

He took a few steps towards me, closing the gap between us. “I don’t ever want to hurt you again,” he whispered, wiping some tears from my cheeks.

I stood there, staring up at him for a few moments before I pulled away from his grasp. “I’m sorry,” I choked out, stumbling backwards out of his room. “I can’t.”

And with that, I darted down the stairs brushing past Anne as she curiously watched on. I could hear Ashton saying my name from behind me, but I refused to stop. Shutting the front door behind me, I continued my sprint down the street and back towards the subway, actually looking forward to riding that thing the hell away from here.

- One Month Later –

“Will you please stop pacing?” Calum chuckled from his chair, mindlessly running his bow back and forth across his cello.

I stopped in my tracks, not even realizing that I had been pacing in the first place. “Sorry,” I sighed, running my hand over my hair, making sure my bun was securely in place. “There’s just a lot riding on tonight you know?”

“I know,” he grinned, “I don’t know if you’re aware but I’m going on that stage with you.”

A small smile crept onto my face at his statement. If it weren’t for him I wouldn’t be in this showcase at all. Calum had single-handedly pulled off the impossible and I had never been more grateful. “Thank you for that by the way.”

“It’s the least I could do. I mean, after all I do kind of consider you a best friend,” he smiled back at me. “We’re going to kick ass.”

“There are my two superstars!” Cassie said as she walked into our dressing room. “Lauren, oh my god you look so good.” she gushed as she ran her hands over my skirt.

“Thank you,” I smiled as I began going over my steps in my head for the thousandth time.

“Do you uhm, do you have a second?” Cassie asked, pulling me from my concentration.

“Yeah, sure,” I nodded, semi worried about what she had to say now. She linked her arm with mine and pulled me over to the side of the room, letting the sound of Calum’s cello fill the room.  "What’s up?“ I questioned, looking at her curiously.

"I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay,” she said giving me a concerned look.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Cassie simply rolled her eyes at my statement, obviously not having any of my fake behavior. “Seriously Loz, I’m worried. You’ve done nothing but work on this for the past month. I know what you’re avoiding, or who, I guess.” She sighed, knowing fully well I didn’t want to talk about this.

“Can we do this later? I’d rather not fill my head with negative energy before a performance,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

“You’ve barely even spoken about what happened Lauren. And I know that Ash-”

“Cassie please,” I said, putting my hands on her shoulders as I gave her the best fake smile I could. “I just want to get through this performance and then we can talk about it, okay?” I asked, with pleading eyes. I couldn’t do this right now.

“Yeah,” she sighed, looking away from me, she shook her head, clearly not satisfied. “Fine, but you should know that he-”

“Please Cass, I don’t want to know right now.”

She simply looked at me, closing her mouth and giving me a nod. “Okay.”

“Thank you.”

She once again linked arms with me, leading me back over to Calum. “I’m going to let you two get back to your practicing. Look for me out there, I’ll be the pregnant girl in the front row,” she giggled as her hand instinctively went to her now very noticeable baby bump. Calum stood from his spot to give her a kiss before she made her way towards the door. “Break a leg you two!”

Once she was out the door Calum turned his attention back to me. “What was with the secret meeting?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said getting into first position. “Do you want to do a quick run through?” He simply nodded, knowing not to press me and began playing the piece.

Once we had run through it a few times a man with a headset on stuck his head inside the room.  "Calum and Lauren?“ He questioned looking at the two of us to which we nodded. "You’re on next, follow me.”

I took a deep breath, trying to shake the nerves from my now tense muscles. “Let’s do this.”

Calum draped his arm over my shoulder, giving it a quick reassuring squeeze, “you’ve got this.”

And with that the lights fell and the curtains closed as the crowd clapped for the performance they had just witnessed. Calum made his way to stage right, sitting in his chair and adjusting his cello, giving it one final tuning. He gave me one more nod of encouragement as the lights started to come up and the curtain once again opened.

“Now performing: Lauren Chandler, accompanied by Calum Hood.” The crowd clapped politely as I made my way center stage, taking my first position as they all took their seats and the Calum began playing the familiar song.

The spotlight made it hard to see anything in front of me, but I knew what I needed to do and began moving to the rhythm the way I had practice so many times before.

I felt the stress I had been holding in for so long come out as I continued moving across the stage, hitting every step perfectly and extending my limbs as straight as possible, forgetting everything but this moment. My first jump was executed perfectly as I landed effortlessly on the stage, moving fluidly into my turn. As I began to spin I picked my anchor in the crowd, trying to steady myself by focusing on one single spot, which is when I saw him.

Ashton was sitting next to Cassie in the front row. I took a sharp breath in and tried to listen to the music Calum was playing to keep myself focused. As I regained my composure, I began to pick up momentum preparing myself for the big leap.

Jumping as high as I possibly could, I extended my legs until they were as straight as possible. I prepared myself for the landing, knowing I had to keep my legs strong, which is when the worst that could happen did. The second my toes touched the ground, I felt my knee crack, practically bending backwards, I had over extended. Before I could stop myself, I let out a pained scream practically collapsing in the center of the stage causing the crowd to all gasp in unison.

The next few minutes were a blur, trying to focus through the shooting pain in my left knee was enough to make me want to pass out. Calum came into view first, crouching over me to see what had happened. He started asking me questions, but I couldn’t make a sound. He shouted for someone to call 911, as a few staff members began to rush towards me.

Calum, looked out at the crowd for a moment with a look of concern in his eyes. “Hey, c'mon Lauren, don’t fade on me okay. Don’t move,” he stated, looking down at me as another face came into view. “Ash, she-” Calum started to say before Ashton leaned over me protectively.

“Lo, it’s okay,” he whispered, wiping away the tears I didn’t know I had from my cheeks.

“It hurts,” I cried, barely able to hold myself together.

“I know,” he said with a worried frown on his lips. “It’s okay, you’ll be okay.”

“The medics are here,” Calum stated, putting a hand on Ashton’s shoulder.

Ashton looked back at him, but refused to move as the paramedics quickly dropped down beside me and began examining my leg before moving me over to the stretcher they had brought with them. They grasped the tender spot on my knee and I let out another pained scream. Ashton quickly grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Lo, focus on me, it’s okay,” he smiled down at me encouragingly. The paramedics moved my leg slightly, trying to put a splint on, causing the pain to shoot up my entire side.

“Oh my god,” I cried, gripping his hand as tightly as I could, trying not to pass out.

“I’m with you Lo,” Ashton murmured, leaning down to press his lips to my forehead. “I’m with you,” he whispered once again before everything started to fade into black.

———

So there’s that.  Do you hate us now?  Please don’t kill us.  We do love you lots.

I’m actually shook from having to write that and I’m super nervous about how you guys will respond lmao.  Be kind pls.

- Taylor

[clatterbane]

Further on the point about that level of legally mandated gatekeeping always leaving room for things to go wrong, I finally managed to track down one thing from Guttmacher that I remembered seeing referenced in some report from a few years back (which of course I couldn’t locate again right now).

British General Practitioners’ Attitudes Toward Abortion (PDF)

That was a bit older than I remembered, from 2000. I have no idea how/if the responses would differ now. (Though, I suspect not that much.)

Some worrying bits:

General practitioners are allowed to provide women younger than 16 with birth control and abortion advice. However, eligible women sometimes are refused care. In a study of teenage mothers, some young women who had been refused birth control returned to their doctor pregnant shortly afterward. A doctor opposed to termination may put obstacles in the way, and calls to the British Family Planning Association’s helpline indicate that such problems occur. For example, some doctors refuse to refer women to hospitals for terminations and may not tell them that they have the right to ask for another opinion…

Issues of Choice

The first question we asked was whether doctors consider themselves “broadly pro choice” or “broadly antiabortion.” In all, 82% of the 663 respondents who answered the question characterized themselves as prochoice, while 18% said they were basically opposed to abortion. Eighty-five percent of general practitioners agreed that “if a general practitioner conscientiously objects to abortion, he/she should be required to declare this to a woman seeking access to abortion services.” How ever, 10% disagreed, including 27% of antiabortion doctors and 8% of those who were prochoice…

Given the current law requiring that two doctors be involved in the abortion decision, we asked respondents who they thought should take responsibility for the decision. Furthermore, as general practitioners were likely to have different views according to the pregnancy’s gestation, we asked separately about pregnancies up to 12 weeks’ gestation and those at a later stage. Within the first 12 weeks, 46% thought that the woman alone should make the decision; a further 7% thought it should be the woman and one doctor, and another 17% said that the woman should decide in conjunction with two physicians (Table 1). Only one in five doctors did not want women to be involved in the decision; these were largely doctors who were broadly antiabortion. After 12 weeks of pregnancy, doctors took a more restrictive line. Only 21% thought that the woman should make the decision on her own. Nevertheless, half still thought that the decision should be made by the woman alone or with up to two doctors. Forty percent felt that doctors alone should make the decision.

Let’s rephrase that. Even in the earliest stages of pregnancy, “one in five doctors did not want women to be involved in the decision”. Later on, “[f]orty percent felt that doctors alone should make the decision”.

Yes, a disturbing percentage of even the ones who said they were “broadly prochoice” were saying that it should be their decision only. Not the patient’s. Less than half of the self-described prochoice ones would say that “the woman alone should make the decision” about early abortions.

18% of responding GPs said that they were “basically opposed to abortion”, and 27% of those felt like they shouldn’t have to let patients know about these personal views. Very likely affecting their medical decisions, and which options are even being presented–before we even get to the outright refusals to refer.

With GPs gatekeeping access to pretty much all NHS services, and its sometimes being very difficult to find another one if you get hold of an obstructive asshole. Much less with the time pressure people needing abortions are up against. (Yes, you can go private if you know that’s an option and can afford it. This really should not be necessary in order to get appropriate medical care.)

Throw in all the “only” you want, this info really does not make me more confident in the current legal situation here.

[wosoindepth]

Forty-Six In UEFA Qualifiers For 2019 World Cup | 09.01.2017

Forty-six countries have entered European qualifying for the 2019 FIFA Women's World Cup, with 16 in the preliminary draw on 19th January.

Hosts France gain automatic entry to the 24-team finals and will be joined by eight other European sides. Qualifying is in three stages: the preliminary round involving the 16 lowest nations in the UEFA Women's National Team Coefficient Rankings; the qualifying group stage, for which the other 30 hopefuls gain automatic entry; and a series of play-offs which will decide Europe's eighth qualifier.

The Preliminary Round draw on 19th January will include a World Cup debut for Andorra and a first competitive tournament for Kosovo.

Those 16 entrants in coefficient order are:

Turkey, Israel, Greece, Kazakhstan, Estonia, Albania, Faroe Islands, Moldova, Malta, Montenegro, Georgia, Lithuania, Latvia, Luxembourg, Andorra, Kosovo

They will be drawn into four groups of four, with the section winners and the runner-up with the best record against the sides first and third in their section progressing to the qualifying group stage. Four teams will be selected to host the mini-tournaments played on 6, 8 and 11 April.

The qualifying group stage automatic entrants in coefficient order are as follows:

Germany, England, Norway, Sweden, Spain, Switzerland, Italy, Netherlands, Iceland, Scotland, Denmark, Austria, Belgium, Russia, Finland, Ukraine, Wales, Romania, Poland, Czech Republic, Republic of Ireland, Portugal, Serbia, Hungary, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Belarus, Slovakia, Slovenia, Northern Ireland, Croatia, (plus five teams tbc from preliminary round)

Seven groups of five will be drawn on 25th April, with matches to be scheduled between September 2017 and September 2018. Only the group winners will automatically qualify to join France in the finals but the four best runners-up will progress to the play-offs in October and November 2018.

Continental allocations for final tournament:

Africa (CAF): 3 Asia (AFC): 5 Europe (UEFA): 8, plus hosts France North/Central America (CONCACAF): 3 plus 1 to play-off v CONMEBOL third place Oceania (OFC): 1 South America (CONMEBOL): 2 plus 1 to play-off v CONCACAF fourth place

Source - uefa.com

[fivesaucekisses]

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven | twelve | thirteen | fourteen |fifteen |sixteen | seventeen | eighteen | nineteen | twenty | twenty-one | twenty-two | twenty-three |twenty-four |twenty-five | twenty-six | twenty-seven | twenty-eight | twenty-nine | thirty | thirty-one |thirty-two |thirty-three | thirty-four | thirty-five | thirty-six | thirty-seven | thirty-eight | thirty-nine | forty | forty-one | forty-two | forty-three | forty-four | forty-five | forty-six | forty-seven

Chapter Forty-Eight:

Ashton’s POV

Lo: Hey

Lo: We’re still on for coffee right?

The screen of my phone lit up as the texts from Lauren I had been expecting came in. I was an hour late for our meeting time and I wasn’t planning on going either. I hit the lock button, making the screen go black and sliding the object into my pocket in my attempt to ignore her digital presence.

“You can’t ignore her forever, Ashton, you’re acting like a child,” Luke sighed, clearly upset with my current behavior.

“Lucas, you better shut your mouth before I shut it for you—“

“Hey now, no hostility during bro day! Now, take this blunt and get with it dudes!” Michael pleaded as he tried to pass the burning blunt our way.

“I’m not getting with it until Ashton stops acting like an ass!

“And I’m not until Luke learns to mind his goddamn business!”

“Both of you shut up right now!” Calum blurted, aggravated with the both of us, “You’re both acting like children! Ashton, it’s bro day and you’re bringing everyone down—“

“You try being in a good mood when the girl you love is one the front of every newspaper with some other guy!” I yelled, the room went silent as I lifted myself from my seat, adrenaline pumping through my veins, “You try keeping your cool when the girl you think is finally starting to like you again decides to ditch you for her ex! An ex that is a total dick, by the way!”

“Who’s ex is a total dick?” We all turned our heads in surprise, there, standing in the doorway of Michael’s apartment, was none other than Ben.

“Your best friend’s,” I grumbled, walking to the counter, grabbing said newspaper, and shoving it into his chest, “see for yourself.”

Taking the stack of papers, Ben examined the picture on the front cover. Lauren, looking beautiful as ever, stood there smiling as Tristan Davenport kissed her temple, his arm around her waist.

“It’s honestly not that bad, Ash,” Ben tried to reason, only making me shake my head, “it’s all about appearances in that world. I can assure you, that kiss means nothing,”

“Maybe not to us, but it clearly means something to them!” Running my fingers through my hair, I tried to regain my composure.

“Ash—“

“And if appearances are so important why couldn’t it have been with me,” I sighed, my mood shifting toward a more somber one.

“Dude, you’re looking too far into this,” Calum jumped back in, “Cassie told me last night that this whole dinner thing was just sprung on Lauren, she had no time to talk to her mother let alone ask you to come with her,”

Opening my mouth to reply, I could feel a familiar buzz come from my pocket. Pulling out my phone, Lauren’s face popped up indicating a call. My thumb hesitated over the answer button as I contemplated answering the call. My choice was made for me when the artificially blonde boy hosting us all ripped the phone out of my hand.

“No. You’re not answering that. We’re not talking about Lauren,” Michael growled looking at me, “or Cassie,” he pointed to Calum before turning to Luke, “OR Annabelle! It’s bro day, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let a bunch of chicks ruin it!” Walking out of the room and down the hall, the four of us waited patiently for him to return, unsure how to respond to his sudden outburst.

“You’re phone is hidden and we’re gonna be done with all of this negativity,” Michael sighed, entering the room and turning towards Ashton, “Ashton, what do you want to do? No questions, no limits, I’ll fund the whole thing, just say the word, and I’ll make it happen.”

“What?” I laughed, looking at the other boys before turning back to Michael, “No, here is fine. A day in with you guys if fine, honestly—“

“No, it’s not fine. You’ve been in a rut for far too long and I’m not gonna stand around and let you be miserable anymore. Now, what do you want to do?”

“Ash, you might as well pick something, he’s not going to give up and you know it,” Calum sighed, shaking his head as I stood there thinking about what I could possibly want to do without any limitations.

“Well… I’ve always wanted to have a large scale Nerf gun battle—“ “Done,” Michael blurted, his phone pressed to his ear within seconds as he walked out of the room to discuss details with whoever he was on the phone with, beginning to plan our upcoming battle.

“What kind of connections does he even have to make this happen?” I questioned, turning to the other three boys trying to figure out that just happened to our chill bro day.

“I mean, he is from one of the richest families in the city, I wouldn’t put it past him to have a few tricks up his sleeve,” Ben commented, shrugging his shoulders as he fell onto the couch, letting out a sigh as he reached out for the almost forgotten blunt, “You mind if I just?” Shaking our heads, Ben lit the blackened end and took a long drag before exhaling and passing to Luke on his left.

It was a good 15 minutes before Michael joined us back in the room, a triumphant look on his face as he approached the four of us, “Alright, asshats, here’s the deal,” Sliding his hands into his pockets, the amusement gone from his expression, “Two teams; Ashton, Calum and Ben versus Luke and I. Everyone will be given a bag with plenty of ammo to get you through the day—“

“Wait a minute! Why do you get to choose teams?! That’s an unfair advantage,” Ben whined, crossing his arms as he waited for an answer.

“Do you honestly think having Luke on my team is an advantage?” Michael laughed, turning to Luke and giving him a look as if to say ‘so offence’, “Besides, no matter who’s on what team, I’m gonna win, so, that’s that. Now, no one is allowed to leave Greenwich Village, if you do your team is disqualified, thus you lose.”

“Well, how do we win?” Calum chimed in, starting to get excited about the day ahead of us.

“The team with the most points by the time the sun goes down wins. Points are earned by hitting members of the opposite team, body parts being worth different amounts,” from there Michael continued to explain the rules of the game, getting us all in the mood for a little friendly competition.

The next thing we knew, our separate teams were in arranged cars, taking us to separate locations within the village. Michael, graciously, supplied us all with headpieces as well to stay in communication.

“Alright boys,” Michael’s voice buzzed into our ears as we stepped out of the car, “Three hours until sundown. Everyone knows the rules, and I expect them to be followed. May the best shooters win.” And just like that, the audio was cut off leaving Ben, Calum and I to our own devices.

“Well, what’s our plan of action?” I questioned, turning to Calum, who shrugged and turned to Ben who turned to me with an equally confused look on his face, “Ok… why don’t we just, get some coffee and then figure out a plan?” Everyone nodded as we made our way to the closest coffee shop.

“So Ash, how are you?” Ben asked, concern clear in his voice, “That was quite the episode you had back there,” I shook my head, embarrassed about what had happened earlier.

“You know, I thought I was doing fine, but waking up to that… That just shook everything up,”

“But, you know she wouldn’t actually go back to Tristan, right? Like, the hate she has for that boy far outweighs anything else she could ever feel for him. But you,” Ben trailed off, his eyes catching something in the distance, “Speak of the devil.”

Calum and I turned our attention from Ben to the person in question, Tristan Davenport. My blood began to boil just seeing him there, chatting up some random girl on the side of the street as if he weren’t kissing another girl the night before.

“Guys, I just had a great idea,” Turning around and walking in the opposite direction, I pressed on the call button of my headpiece trying to get Michael’s attention, “Hey, Mikey,”

“Yes, future loser?”

“Since you asked me what I wanted to do, can I change it? Cause I have a much better idea that I think you will like as well,”

There was a short pause before Michael’s voice came back through, “I’m listening,”

“We’ve spotted Davenport. I’m suggesting a full on attack. That’s what I want.”

“And that’s what you’ll get. Now, turn to your left and walk into the building beside you. We’re on the top floor.”

“What do you mean,” Looking up from where I was standing, three stories above us Michael and Luke were leaning out of one of the windows from the office building in front of us, “You cheating asshole,” I laughed shaking my head as I led Ben and Calum into the building with me.

“I told you I was going to win, that doesn’t mean I was planning on winning the right way!” By the time the three of us had made it up to where Michael and Luke were, the two of them were busy assembling multiple Nerf weapons for what I’m sure would be the best surprise attack of all our lives.

“Alright, everyone grab a weapon and, please, have at it,” Michael motioned to the pile of plastic, a wide grin on his face, “But, Ashton has first dibs and shot at the scumbag. Groin shots are 20 points.” Bending down, I grabbed the biggest gun I could find, making my way over to the window, leaning out to line up my first shot straight to his temple.

The second the dart hit his head; Tristan was almost knocked off his feet due to the shock. Ducking out of the window, I did my best to hide my position from him as he looked for the source of the attack. Lifting my head back up, it looked as though he had given up on his search, making this an opportune time to attack once again.

The second shot was just as effective as the first, and twice as annoying to it’s victim, “WHO THE FUCK KEEPS SHOOTING ME?!” The boys laughed at the sound of Tristan’s frustration, knowing it was only going to get worse for him.

“Alright, on the count of three, I say we all just go for it!” I suggested, ready to make the boy on the street as frustrated as possible, as the rest of the group lined up along the row of windows, ready to pop up and attack at any second.

“Three… Two… ONE!” In an instant, the boys and I were up and shooting whatever we had at our common enemy, laughing and reveling in his frustration.

Once we were all out of bullets, we ducked down before Tristan could see us, trying our best to keep our laughter in and out location unknown. We made sure to check the window every now and then to make sure the coast was clear for us to make an easy and unnoticed escape, heading back to Michael’s house to finish bro day in peace, us all finally forgetting about our personal problems for a minute and enjoying each others company for the first time in forever.

_ _ _ _ _

This is such a filler chapter, but, its a chapter none the less! I'm sorry for the wait, but let me tell you, after this chapter, everything is gonna be CRAY. Stay tuned, friends.

-Simone