#Expect more of my unwanted thought tho

[merchelsea]

private support- george russell

pairing: george russell x fem! model! reader

summary: you are constantly fighting george’s haters on interviews and socials, but when you need him to do the same, he doesn’t.

author’s note: my first time writing angst, please give me some tips to improve!! and i’m actually taking requests now, so if you have any, let me know!

word count: 2k+ (not counted properly)

warnings: angst, fighting, miscommunication, racism accusations, silence treatment, confused reader.

your mind snapped back to reality as your hairstylist, who also happened to be your best friend, playfully snapped her fingers in front of your face.

"what are you thinking about?" she asked, her voice filled with curiosity and concern as she stood before you, demanding an answer.

"nothing," you quickly shot back, though the truth was quite the opposite. you had been mulling over everything that had transpired in the past week.

a false accusation of racism had been circulating on the internet, and it had been so well-constructed that people started believing you were capable of such a thing.

it was frustrating that almost no one believed you, but it was even more frustrating that you couldn't deny it. this whole scandal had brought up an unwanted spotlight, and you were obligated to follow a contract, which meant that, if they were to push you under the bus because they'd benefit from it, they could. and that is exactly what they did.

you felt anger and disappointment toward those you worked with daily, as you never thought they would betray you in such a way. in response, you had pulled all available strings and taken legal action to clear your name. while you had managed to set the record straight publicly through the legal process, it did little to ease the weight on your mind.

"that’s bullshit, you have been watching that tiktok for 15 minutes." your friend quipped, redirecting your attention to your phone, which had been playing the same vogue advertisement repeatedly. "so, what's on your mind?"

you sighed, contemplating the flood of thoughts but reluctant to discuss them. "a lot of stuff, but I really don't want to talk about it." your friend took a deep breath and reluctantly accepted your reluctance. "fine," she conceded. as much as she could try to hide it, you knew her, and realized she wasn't happy about it. "don't get mad."

"I’m not mad. I just don’t understand why you never talk with me about this stuff." you furrowed your brows as she moved to hold your hair from behind, starting to curl it again. "I mean, I’m supposed to be your best friend, you should be able to talk with me."

"it's about george," you exhaled as she began working on your hair, curling it once more. "what did he do?" she asked, her curiosity piqued. "you guys never fight."

"he didn’t do anything, that’s the problem." you explained, feeling the heat of anger dissipate. the woman behind you turned your chair to face her, and you knew it was time to open up about it.

"what happened, babe?" she asked, pulling over a bench and sitting down. it was clear that she recognized the importance of the conversation.

you silently wondered about what to say for minutes, because even tho it was something really clear in your mind, you had no idea of how to put it into words.

she grew impatient in front of you, drumming her fingers in the bench she was sat in, waiting for you to break.

"he still hasn't said anything about this. he talked to me, told me he knew I could never do such a thing," you began, picking up a makeup pencil to occupy your hands. "but people asked him in interviews, and he didn't even deny it. he would just say hat he wouldn't comment on it."

You felt a mix of emotions, ranging from sadness to disappointment. You had always defended George in similar situations, in interviews, instagram stories, fighting people on twitter. in every way you could.

unintentionally, you expected him to do the same for you when the time came. but it came and he didn't. you couldn't really blame him because you never even talked to him about it, he had no way of knowing, but you did, you blamed him.

you blamed him and you felt awful for that. it was all an endless circle of guilt and shame that you were trying to run of. confused, stressed, attacked. how could someone be fine while feeling all of that?

questions lingered in your brain as your best friend talked to you, trying to help you in the better way she could. besides all of the mess, she was the one thing you were sure off, she was your rock, stabling you through the storm.

posting that video and coming clean about the situation had been a good step, but it hadn't eased the stabbing pain in your chest.

coming home to him was harder than ever. you had ignored his calls and every single one of his attempts to contact you. it was childish of you, and you were aware, but you just couldn't help it.

anyways, things had to be said.

as you entered the room, you found george lying on the couch in his mercedes shirt. he smiled when he saw you, relieved that you had come. he thought you wouldn't come, that caused by the three days left on read and the 14 missed calls.

seeing you was a relief for him. he immediately got up and walked to you, but you denied his attempt to touch your face. the smile on his face disappeared as fast as it came on.

"hey, what happened?" he attempted to caress your cheek, but you pulled away his arm. "what did I do?" his confused and saddened gaze filled you with regret and you realized what you were doing.

you weren't being fair.

"I'm sorry. I just—" you began, stepping back. his reaction made you realize that you needed to communicate openly. "I need to talk to you," you said, and george nodded, ready to listen. he looked genuinely terrified as you refused his touch, not understanding what he had done wrong.

"okay... hm. lets sit down." he suggested, trying to make it as comfortable as he could for you.

you both moved to the couch, sitting on opposite ends. george looked you in the eye, waiting for you to speak.

"so, you know about that racism accusation, right?"george nodded, not daring to speak. "I'm kind of upset about it."

"well that's understandable, yo-"

"george," you interrupted, wanting to clarify your point. "I'm not really worried about the accusation itself right now. you haven't said anything about it yet." the brit furrowed his brows.

"what? I told you exactly what I thought that same night. you could never do such thing and I know that very well." you sighed, annoyed again. it was difficult to try and see things from his perspective, but the truth is that you weren't explaining him things clearly.

"that's not what I mean. you've talked about it with me, but you never did on public. you never said that 'i could never do such thing' to anyone else." his eyes fall on you again, softened this time.

"oh." it lingers in the air for quite some time as he gets ahold of his thoughts and you grow inpatient. "I'm sorry about that. I never thought you wanted to." some other words danced on the tip of his tongue. he contained himself, but he could've easily ended this argument.

"you never thought? how's that?" you offendedly ask. how could you not want your boyfriend to have your back?

"well, once you told me you didn't like the thought of being seen as dependent of me. that you wanted to be seen as an independent and strong woman. I respected, and still respect that." you recalled saying this after a long night in monaco. deep conversations had become a regular occurrence between you two after his race weekends.

"it's not about depending on you; it's about you supporting me," you raised your voice, making it clear how upset you were. "I always do that for you, and it doesn't mean anything."

"yeah, because the media and society are twisted as fuck, and we both know that," george said, turning his body towards you, now more open to discussing the issue. "tell me that if it were me in your position, you wouldn't be labeled as a woman who needs her boyfriend to protect her. do you have any idea of how you would be talked about?"

you hated it when he was right, but he was right now. however, he seemed to miss your perspective on all of this.

"I wouldn't care. I would know you were by my side and I wouldn't care."

"your such a bad liar. you would care. you would and you will because I gave an interview like two days ago, talking about it." he sighs. "because even though I knew it wasn't what you would've wanted, I could not keep quite while you were going through all of that."

silence fills the room as you both just stare at each other. how could have you missed this? okay, you had been avoiding anything george related for the past days, but you would know. wouldn't you?

"of course that, I could've told you if you just picked up your damn phone." george got up and left for your bedroom before you had a chance to react. but he did exactly what you needed—he gave you some time to think, to process, and to feel guilty for treating him poorly when all he had done was thinking of you.

you took out your phone and searched his name on twitter. the first thing coming up being exactly what you were looking for.

"it's unacceptable. it's actually unacceptable that someone can do this and live their life in peace. that person screwed her over — her name, her work, everything she represents. yeah, no, I can not deal with this shit. I mean, she is the most admirable person in this earth and people who can't deal with other's happiness just keep trying to mess that up. they wont succeed, though. she is incredible enough to not let that happen." "george, does it bother you that it was a fan of yours who came up with this?" "fan? sorry but that can't be called a fan. that is just a jerk who tried to ruin someone's life. does it bother me that is the love of my life being attacked? a lot. it drives me crazy. as I said before, I can't deal with this. I honestly think it would be easier if I was the one being attacked. I just can't understand why someone would do this to her. she always does what's best for others, she supports everyone, is always out there in the world fighting other's fights and this is how she is payed? it's not fair, it's just not fair." "i have only one more question for you. why did it take you so long to speak about this? even your teammate, lewis hamilton, talked about this the day it came out, and you're only just now coming clean." "well obviously I wanted to talk about this from the moment I saw it. it took a lot of me to not start a war right there. but we all know how fucked up the world is and how she would've been talked about if I came straight to interviews. she probably will even get a few comments about me but I couldn't keep it in. if she is not allowed to speak, I'll speak for her. that's how we work. we love each other and we support each other." "uh, i'm sorry george. not allowed?" "thank you for having me."

his face displayed anger, and he seemed more than ready to start a war. you couldn't help but smile throughout the whole video, feeling grateful for the man you had by your side.

and then it hit you—you had been treating him horribly when he didn't deserve it. in fact, he deserved the opposite. so, you got up and went to apologize.

opening the bedroom door, you saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, facing the door. he had been waiting for you.

"I'm sorry," you said as you moved closer. he pulled you close by the waist, hugging your body, and you caressed his hair.

" you need to talk to me," he murmured against your belly.

"I know, baby. I'm sorry," you said, taking his head in your hands and forcing him to look up at you. "I promise you that from now on, we'll discuss everything. I love you so much."

"I love you too. you know that, right?" you nodded your head with a big smile. if this had shown you something, was that he loved you.

"I know, and I'm sorry for cutting you off when things went bad. that was really shitty of me." you looked up, admitting your mistakes.

"never do that again, I got so afraid. I thought I had lost you."

"I'll never do it again. I promise." you stuck out your pinky and he took it. sealing the promise with a kiss on your enlaced fingers.

[changbinsboobs]

Do you think any of skz has potentials of becoming yandere or like obsessed in general?!

Omg i can't believe what just happened Tumblr deleted my whole Chan reading i habe to do it all over again😭😭😭😭😭 and i don't have the cards anymore😭 i fucking hate it here😭

Who in Skz has a potential of becoming obsessed?

Chan - his reading was so long im so angry😭 what i said was basically how he has a lot of responsibilities and things to do that have way more weight and importance for him so there's not enough time or space in his mind to even begin obsessing iver other les simportants tuff. Even if he would he would quickly be taken out of it as more importants stuff already knocks on the door. Aside from that his job is actually a great outlet for him and despite him being very perfectionistic and a workaholic which in itself is not healthy - this card still points out how music and creativity is what brings him pease and is a source of release for him so i kinda get him why he's so focused on work and drowns himself so much into it - because for him its not work its his peace, its his joy, his relief. So yeah not seeing any potential for becoming obsessed or yandere cuz he has an outlet to channel any unwanted emotions and he also has many other much important things to take him out if other spirals he might come into so he doesn't even get the chance to become obsessed.

Lee Know - for him im not getting that either. He also has better things to do. He knows bery well what brings him joy and how to put himself back on track and regulate his emotions to stabilize himself. I don't see anything going out of control, spiraling, or whatever. Also if he were to be rejected, instead of going after that thing/person even more, hold grudges etc - he's more someone that stays in the shadows, takes it like a champ, cries on his own, oats himself on the back and continues on, maybe with some hurt inside him still but he goes on not really looking like it affected him. And soon the hurt gets relieved too, instead of it he fills himself with good things and soon the hurt is forgotten. In short - he accepts his fate and moves on. Not seeing anything about dangerous obsession.

Changbin - not seeing anything like that with him either. Spoiler alert - not seeing that with any of the guys actually. But for changbins case he does ponder on things more, probably takes much longer for him to swallow rejection, or abandonment or similar. He does think of it a lot, may even get gloomy or depressed for a little while. If we're talking about obsession in terms of not being able to get something out of your head then yeah he shows that definitely. But nothing that exceeds the mind and turns into action, also nothing harmful or dangerous in any way. He just thinks about what ifs and analyzing what went down, why it happened like that, etc. He always finds himself at the end tho, and finds peace and stability within himself and finds love and joy around him, often hurts like that fueling him even further for life, making him feel even stronger and more determent to be even bigger and even better.

Hyunjin - not seeing that with hyunjin either. Im seeing childish wonder and disappointment next to each other. I believe this means his naivety and readiness to jump into things and love fast and easily is often a source of depletion and disappointment for him. Either he becomes disappointed cuz whatever he liked isn't actually the way he thought and his expectations aren't met, or whatever attachment he felt wasn't reciprocated. For that im seeing victim complex and visciousness in terms of coping so instead of becoming obsessed and dangerous he rather becomes bitter and maybe even a bit hateful for a period of time towards that person or situation, being sharp and merciless with his words, holding tight onto the feeling that he was wronged and betrayed, being a victim of someone heartless that now deserves to bear the heaviness of his disappointment and wrath. Despite that not sounding very not-obsessive, the energy here doesn't seem really dangerous or malicious. Its more annoying that dangerous (if you're on the receiving end).

Han - here is the only...concern i had. The energy isn't very heavy, theres not any...dangerous action per say...but this is the only pile where i feel malisciousness in any way. Where theres potential that it COULD get to an extreme. Thats the only pile that gows beyond the mind or beyond words and im actually seeing readiness for action. This tho touches more on anger rather on anything and as for the most the heavy emphasis was on romantic relationships, here im not seeing that at all. Im seeing him wanting revenge on people that have disrespected, wronged, ridiculed him etc. he wants them to pay the price for their wrongdoings and is ready to take it in his own hands or leave someone else taking care of it for him. Now if thats something he just wants to do in a moment of anger or if he really has potential to take revenge in his own hands is unclear and i think ill leave it like that. Going back to the initial question - this doesn't give yandere vibes, maybe not even obsession - it just gives innability to regulate anger properly (honestly i feel u buddy) and maybe even overreacting with his anger in that sometimes its something small t he gets a huge tantrum and is ready to fight and its reslly inappropriate. Or something happens in 2022 and for some reason he failed getting angry back then so he carries his anger all this this time and suddenly this issue gets brought up again in a completely normal manner and "out of nowhere" he bursts out in an angry outrage and throws a tantrum. Or is continuously viscious towards someone for no apparent reason because once 10 years ago that person made a comment about his new haircut that he didn't like and he felt vulnerable and he's been making that person pay for the last 10 years cuz it hurt him so much back then. - all of those were just made up examples to describe what i mean by paying back, holding on grudges etc.

Felix - No. Not at all. He takes it all like a champ and i see him looking for support and connection with the people around him and he balances himself out like that, im also seeing him having some sort of innate yin and yang balance in him, in the way that he has of both good and bath, in a perfect balance. Idk how to explain that energy as it is so unique but in short im not seeing bad intentions, obsessive dangerous tendencies or anything. He seems very connected to the divine and has an innate compass of wrong and right, can regulate himself pretty quickly IF the crowd he's surrounded with is good (which for now im seeing it is). And any rejection or hurt or whatever that happens - he takes like a champ.

Seungmin - not seeing that here either, although he's not really answering my question. He says he's graceful and a respectable gentleman (im seeing bridgerton men😂) He says he's a lover and theres no usw for him to act crazy or be maliscious. He's of good value and he can get himself somethign good with ease so theres no use waisting prescious time and energy, lowering himself beyond his own standards.

I.N - not seeing anything like that either. He seems very peaceful and stable despite what. He has a strong, secure and very stable inner core that can not be shaken easily. He has a very positive and uplifting attitude towards life and himself and chooses to see the positive rather than the negative. He actively chooses good and maintains and builds this beliefs and this huge fort he's standing on. Build with trust and smiles and laughter. Those are very very positive, good & stable cards idk what else to add i really don't see anything of that sort with him. Not even potential for that. Not even potential for thinking about it even i think doesn't understand that at all how some people can get themselves to a point where they act like that.

[lqveharrington]

Hidden Hatred | V.

summary: You’re a new Overlord and meet Vox for the first time. Who knew what that first interaction would do for the both of you down the line.

pairing: Vox x witch Overlord!reader

includes: name calling, mentions of murder, technically enemies to lovers, Vox being whipped by you, jealously, suggestiveness, teasing, fluff, angst if you squint, (let me know if i missed any!)

a/n: 1st request for Vox done! Also, tell me why I love giving them powers like wanda? it’s so cool tho

When you became an Overlord, you quickly recognized all the other Overlords at meetings, matching their personality to name. For example, Alastor’s voice effects gave the illusion of a radio, hence Radio Demon. Or Carmilla and her pointe shoes made of angelic steel. However, there were some Overlords who never attended the meetings, sending in one of the associates in place. The Vees being the only Overlords to do so, typically sending the youngest to attend the meetings. In doing this, you never met the others, refusing to associate online presence with their real self.

So when Vox came in place for Velvette for one of the Overlord meetings, you were slightly confused.

“Vox, how lovely for you to join us this afternoon.” Carmilla gestured toward the Television Demon across the table, her stare sharp when he tapped away on his phone.

“Uh-huh, can we make this quick? I have a company to run.” He threw her a bored look and scanned the rest of the room, noticing a new face. “Who the hell is this bitch?”

Your face jumps in surprise at his words before giving him a small smile. “It’s—“

“You know what? I don’t give a shit.” Vox glanced back at his phone. “Please, continue Carmilla.”

You huff, conjuring up red wisps from your fingertips to mess with while the meeting continues. You thought dealing with Velvette when you first met was a pain, but Vox was ten times worse than she was, and you just met! He seemed interesting, and you never expected a demon Overlord to have a television for a head, but his disinterest in you put you in a sour mood. You genuinely wanted to understand how he was an Overlord, but it seemed impossible with his nature.

“Now dear, let’s not think of murderous thoughts.” Alastor hummed in your direction when he saw you send a death glare toward the Television Demon as you left the meeting room, to which you only received an eye roll back. “Only I can have an enemy like him.”

“Al, during our short break he told me to fuck off and shoved his finger in my face!” You seeth as your eyes glow red with more wisps emitting from your fingers. “I’m going to murder him.”

Alastor caught your arm, “You will not do such things to an Overlord. If he appears at the next meeting and continues to act rude toward one of our gracious ladies, please tell me.”

“Of course, Al.” You snap your fingers, creating a portal to your Overlord territory. “I’ll see you in a month.”

Although you weren’t going to see all the Overlords in one place for a month, that didn’t mean a certain Television Demon consumed your thoughts because of your behavior toward one another during one meeting. It seemed as if every piece of technology reminded you of him, causing some unwanted thoughts to form during wanting times.

Much like you, Vox’s thoughts were filled to the brim of you. How has he never met you? How has Velvette never mentioned a new Overlord in Pentagram City? Oh, he wanted to know more about you. It was only a matter of time before he realized he was entirely whipped by your presence.

“What’s up your ass?” Velvette stepped inside the elevator with Vox as he messed with his suit for the nth time. She already had a suspicion something was up when he decided to tag along for the meeting, but he was acting nervous for a group of people he disrespected. How the fuck does that even work? “Vox.”

“What?” He whipped his head over to his shorter associate as the elevator door dinged.

She gave him an unimpressed look, “What’s going on in your system? You look like you’re going to reboot any second now.”

“Do I?” He reached up to touch his screen, pulling out his phone for vitals.

Velvette furrowed her brows at his reaction when they walked into the meeting room, a couple of other Overlords mingling amongst themselves. “Okay, what’s the fucking problem? Is there someone you—“

“Vox and Velvette.” Carmilla took her slow strides into the room, quickly diminishing the added noise. “To what do we owe the pleasure of two out of the three Vees?”

“This fuck wanted to join me for no reason.” Velvette jabbed her thumb in Vox’s direction, earning a snort from you. All heads turned as you covered your mouth, letting a quick apology fall from your lips.

Carmilla raised a brow, “Thank you… We’ll start off with the…”

Her voice soon became white noise to Vox as he took his seat, glancing up at you every few seconds. God, he hated the way you would quietly speak with Alastor or how you made eye contact with him just to break it with a glare. He hated the way you always dressed to your heart's content and how you failed to respond to Carmilla when asked a question. He hated how he failed to actually hate you.

“Vox, you’re wrecking Carmilla’s table,” Velvette murmured in his direction as Vox’s claws dug deeper into the table’s top.

He looked down at the table, pulling his claws out. He was too focused on your quiet laughter with Alastor to notice the damage. As your quiet laughter subsided, you made eye contact with Vox again before glancing down at the claw marks, and raising a brow at the television.

‘It’s boring.’ Vox mouthed toward you.

You pursed your lips at him, not understanding the game he was playing. ‘Of course it is, it always is.’

Vox rolled his eyes in a joking manner, shooting his attention back to the Overlord in front of the table. You, on the other hand, shot a quizzical look toward him. Sure, your dead heart sped up a bit, and you felt your face warm, but it was only an exchange of two sentences. You felt the red wisps emit from your fingertips again from confusion, pulling at the soft fog created by the magic.

“My dear, what’s gotten you all out of sorts?” Alastor caught up with you when the meeting adjourned with a sharpened grin, noticing your encounter with the Television Demon.

“What do you mean?” You glance back at Vox who offered you a small smirk. Waving him off, you let a small smile slip through.

“That, my dear!” He squinted his eyes toward the television. “Don’t fraternize yourself with him, he’s involved in too much trouble.”

You tilt your head back to Alastor, “We’re in Hell, I can’t think of any reason why anyone would not be in trouble.”

“What I mean to say is don’t get too comfortable with that… thing. It’s not ideal.” His ears fell flat as you paid zero attention to him.

“I won’t. Plus, I’m sure he got bored and bothered the first person he saw. After all, he did tell me to fuck off during the last meeting.” You tuck your arms behind your back. “Don’t worry so much about me, Al. I can handle myself just fine.”

“I’m not worried about you, I’m worried about the man you’re associating yourself with.” He patted your head. “Until next time, my dear.”

You watch as he slips away with his shadows, rolling your eyes at his antics. It was highly unlikely that you would start a friendship with Vox, considering the people he lives with. Alastor had nothing to worry about, it was just a moment of boredom consuming the both of you.

At least, that’s what you told yourselves. Satan knows that the first interaction was uncalled for, but it wasn’t Vox’s fault. No, he blamed himself for the image he had to uphold and being struck by a new Overlord’s looks. But as time passed, along with meetings, the urge to see each other became stronger, resulting in meetings outside of the Carmine building.

Literally.

“Doll, you take way too long to get here.” Vox pulled you toward him by your hand, linking them together.

“Aw, I’m sorry. Were you too scared to be here all on your own? Too afraid there are no bodyguards to protect you?” You tease with a wide grin. You watch as he rolls his eyes at you, tugging you closer. You laugh while patting his chest, “I had to deal with an incompetent sinner. I know you wanted to spend more time together before the meeting.”

“You have to make it up to me now.” He smiled down at you, eyes filled with admiration.

You hum, your own eyes gleaming in such a lovesick look. “Like what, Mister Vox? How should I make it up to you?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” He tilted your head further up, the electricity over his hat reflecting his fast heartbeat. “What do you think?”

“I think…” You flit your gaze to his lips before moving them back up to meet his eyes. “I shouldn’t be in debt to you.”

“Is that so, doll?” He squints as he tightens his hold on you. “I think I’m deserving of something at least.”

“Mm, no.” You squeeze his hand. He gives you a playful look before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You grin before reciprocating, using your free hand to hold his shoulder. The both of you separate, eyes fluttering open with soft smiles. “Must you defy me, handsome?”

“Only when I want to.” He whispered against your lips as he pressed more kisses on your lips. You giggle as you let your red wisps emit from your fingers, watching as your wisps pull him away from you. “Doll…”

“Mm?” You stay still as he continues to get pulled away by your powers.

“What are you doing?”

You flick your wrist, the wisps disappearing. “Nothing, you’re the one moving away from me.” Vox grabs at your waist, pulling you flush against him. You squeal as he peppers kisses across your face, “Vox, we could be seen.”

“Who’s going to come down this alleyway?” He left one last kiss on your lips, smiling as a fool would.

“The other Overlords who are going to attend the meeting.” You push his screen away as you catch the time on your watch. “I thought you didn’t want anyone to know?”

“Yeah, but they should know you’re taken.” He squeezed your waist.

“You want them to think we hate fuck each other?” You grab his wrists as they sway you around. “You know they still think we hate each other right?”

“Who said we don’t?” He bared his teeth to you, earning an eye roll. “You can’t tell me you don’t like it—“

“Shut up.” You sucker punch his shoulder. “The Tech Overlord dating the Witch Overlord? Never.”

“Never.” He linked your hands again, leaving a soft kiss on your knuckles. “I despise you.”

“Horrible thought.” You pull him along out of the alley, separating as soon as you see Alastor appear out of the shadows. You watched the Radio Demon send you a sharpened grin, which you returned with a small smile.

Although you kept your relationship a secret from the likes of sinners and Overlords, both the Technology Overlord and Witch Overlord knew what they were to each other, even if that meant it was kept hidden.

©lqveharrington - all rights reserved. do not copy, translate or share my work on other media platforms

[yellowocaballero]

ok, but the way that the bnha/fe3h fusion is actually so compelling tho,,, like, I just keep thinking about it. I wouldn't have expected it, but I really see what you mean about the synergy. the themes are theme-ing, the vibes are so there.

Oh thank fuck somebody understands me oh my god.

Hey, what if we wrote a story about a very fucked up society. What if the society put the value of somebody's personhood on their genetics and genetically inherited superpowers. What if people with really good superpowers were prioritized very heavily in society and people without superpowers were discarded completely and deemed worthless. What if people in search of social status or political/physical power commit a lot of atrocities trying to create somebody with good genetics. What if, even if you have good superpowers, you are dehumanized and reduced to nothing more than a carrier of these treasured genetics. What if this stratified status quo was rigorously enforced by a large overseeing body that exploits its complete control over children. What if child soldiers. WHAT IF!!!

But that's why this is better than BNHA, because BNHA introduces that society and really fails to make any meaningful or insightful criticisms of it. FE3H actually does a pretty good job of it, so if you sit down and apply a FE3H filter to BNHA then somehow BNHA gets so much better. And on the FE3H side, you get to translate it to the modern day and see how the characters would navigate modern society.

There is also a SHITTON you can do with Dimitri. If you change his life completely then you don't have to change it at all. You can make him the perfect future hero, and he can be the worst of them all.

Have some Dimitri he is so much fun here.

Khalid managed to go the rest of the day without blowing anybody up, which was a plus. And Mama said he wouldn’t amount to anything. 

Just kidding. Mom’s expectations of him were incredibly high and caused severe anxiety. She thought he was the greatest thing since network television, and also possibly the stupidest. Mom was always saying that he was too smart to act so dumb. Khalid always said that she was too smart for such a stupid choice of husbands. 

The only other fragment of excitement was lunch. Through judicious application of one of the most powerful quirks to exist, a quirk previously thought to be as possible as faster than light travel, Khalid managed to successfully avoid screwing up any other social interactions. He occasionally heard Sothis’ voice reminding him that so far he really only had the stamina to use the quirk around ten times a day, but she didn’t appreciate the importance of avoiding unwanted conversations and never experiencing consequences. 

Byleth didn’t use her power like this. 

Khalid laughed along with Dorathea’s joke. Crinkle the eyes. Compliment her hair accessory at the next natural lull in conversation. 

She only used the power in battle, or in true emergencies. Byleth always believed in seeing your actions through to the end. 

Hilda sat at a table on the other end of the ‘Hero’ side of the cafeteria, talking animatedly with a silent Marianne. Khalid was supposed to sit next to her. Khalid always sat next to her. But he could tell that he’d have to work in another week of groveling and buying her expensive jewelry before she stopped giving him the cold shoulder. Maybe girls just liked being angry with people. It was just a way of extorting jewelry out of boys. 

Or maybe Hilda had lost a teacher too, and when she needed her best friend most he disappeared. Leaving her to wonder if he was lying dead in a ditch somewhere. But she was probably just angry for the fun of it. 

This could have been avoided if you had only taken my advice and spoken to them, you know. 

Yes, yes, Sothis was a genius and Byleth was always right and Khalid was an idiot. What else was new. 

You are far too intelligent to act this foolishly. 

Wow. Wonder where he had heard that one before -

“Reigan-san?”

The spell of Dorathea’s enrapturing tale about being mad at a guy for fun was broken. Khalid twisted around in his seat to see Dimitri, standing behind him and looking earnest but awkward. Obviously, he cast a tall and Iraqi shadow behind him.

Ingrid perked up, fluffy wings rustling happily against her back. Her wings were so expressive that they always rendered her stern face useless. An amazing, top shelf power - yet an inconvenient one. Wonder what that was like. “Dimitri-san! Come join us. Dora-chan was telling Leonie-chan and Claude-san about -”

“I’d love to,” Dimitri cut in, awkward smile growing large and earnest. Behind him, Dedue loomed. “Truly. But I was actually coping to speak to Reigan-san. Could I possibly borrow him for a moment?”

“The Ouji-sama of UA’s the only person left in the school who calls Claude-kun that,” Dora teased lightly. Dimitri was the only man she was not actively mean to - a horrifying show of the pervasiveness of his appeal. Ashe still got upset when he remembered Dora laying into him for Boruto running in the hallways. “After everything we’ve been through together, I think we can loosen up around each other.”

Leonie masticated a roll. She wasn’t impressed by Dimitri - mostly on principle. Khalid could respect a woman with principles. When they were anti-Dimitri. Not when they were anti-him. Alright, so Khalid could respect anybody anti-Khalid too. “So much of the Hero class are gaijin that nobody cares too much, anyway. Including you.”

It was true. UA was so internationally prestigious that wealthy families from all over the world would enroll their hero-hopeful children. It was tough for anybody less than half Japanese to make it in a Japanese market, but these international students always debuted back in their home countries already at the top of the charts. 

UA was a multicultural experience and it was all Khalid’s fault. Remembering the honorifics and everything was a huge pain and referring to people by their last names was weird. Khalid could handle it no problem, but in a room of people who were willing to roll with a gaijin’s eccentricities then he tended to let it slip more frequently. Lysithea was from Greece and she never forgot, but once she felt as if Khalid had given her permission she dropped it. Maybe it was his fault, or maybe his friends were just those types of people (poor?), because his class referred to each other only by their first names. Marianne said that it made her feel like she had real friends. Khalid deadass didn’t know what to do with that information.

“I trust you all absolutely,” Dimitri said, as if this was a normal sentiment to express. The girls nodded, as if this was a normal sentiment to express. “Manners mean respect to me. But of course you should still call me Dimitri.”

Khalid jerked a thumb at the girls. “Because none of them can pronounce your last name.” Dimitri gave him a dead-eyed stare that definitely translated to ‘nobody can pronounce my damn name’. “What do you want, Dimitri-san? If anybody asks, I've been vacationing on a beach in Spain for the past month.”

Seriously, Dimitri said, “Was it relaxing?”

“Saw a lot of rats.”

“Truly? Spain must be less sanitary than I thought.”

“Absolutely the least sanitary vacation I’ve ever been on.” 

“You’ll have to tell me all about it at a later date.” Dimitri stepped backwards, gesturing pointedly away from the table. “But I do have something to speak to you about alone. It’s fairly important.”

Khalid sighed. He clamored upwards, shooting a jaunty salute at the girls. Ingrid looked strongly as if she had something to say, yet could not say it. “Don’t have too much fun without me, girls.” 

“We’ll save the orgy ‘til you get back,” Leonie panned.

“If I discover that anybody’s excluded me from any orgies, I will never forgive you.”

Dorathea smiled mysteriously into her bento box, giving Khalid a big wink. “You have a standing invitation to any of my parties, Claude-kun.” 

They nodded to each other in respect of each other’s professionalism. In the UA Heroics class, only three students were slotted to become major sex appeal heroes. Technically speaking they weren’t supposed to start leaning hard into it until they graduated from the pseudo-fame of life as a UA student, but hero society was a ‘do as a I say and not as I do’ type of culture. 

Technically speaking, Dorathea, Khalid, and Sylvain ought to be competing with each other for Japan’s Sexiest Teen or something. They would end up pitted against each other constantly in the future. In reality, they all just hung out and gossiped about geopolitical conflicts in the Middle East. Dorathea believed in solidarity above everything, so she gave Sylvain the time of day despite her distaste for him. Khalid and Dorathea privately made an ever-increasing series of bets on when Sylvain would lose it and begin sliding down his inevitable spiral of drugs and alcohol. Khalid’s bet was on an OD at 26. Personally, Khalid hoped that Dorathea’s burgeoning sapphism for that uptight Hawaiian girl would keep her away from the jazz and drink.

Who was he kidding? Dorathea had been in a tween idol group throughout middle school. A voice-based singing quirks that created destructive black sparkles with every note had doomed her from the start. Lesbianism wouldn’t save her. Thank God Khalid was normal.

Ingrid’s face flushed red, and she pointedly looked away from Khalid. Leonie flipped him off. Khalid smiled beatifically at Dimitri. “Lead the way, Sexy Hamlet.”

“Excuse me?”

Dimitri pulled him into the emptied 2A classroom. Khalid took the opportunity to try and get a better look at him. He really did seem fine. Perfectly fine, actually. Maybe Khalid had hallucinated that encounter in the hospital room. Maybe it had been Khalid who was breaking apart, and he had projected everything shattered within him onto Dimitri. He just looked so normal.

Khalid halted in the 2A doorway, leaving Dimitri and Dedue staring expectantly at him. He fought the urge to tug at his collar. Those two had identical eyes. So weirdly piercing. “You said you wanted to talk alone, Dimitri?”

“Yes, that would be preferable.” Khalid pointedly looked at Dedue. Dimitri blinked in confusion before he finally also recognized that other people could see Dedue, and that he was not a particularly judgmental ghost. “Oh! Don’t mind Dedue, he’s very discreet.”

Khalid turned to Dedue and said, in Arabic, “Do you make people forget you exist, or is that a happy side effect of imitating a particularly judgmental rock?”

In Arabic, Dedue said, “Are you grating on purpose, or is it a happy accident?”

In Arabic, Dimitri said, “Rudeness???”

Dimitri and Dedue always made Khalid think of those American children’s cartoons where the idiot bully went everywhere flanked by two stupider children at his side. They only existed to agree with everything the idiot bully said, do anything he asked, and make him look smarter. Even Dimitri was the sweetest glass of milk in Japan and Dedue did nothing but stare at you, the energy persisted. Khalid caught similar vibes from Hubert and Edelgard, but Hubert was closer to the world’s creepiest personal assistant. They both had mafia goon energy. Khalid was constantly waiting for Dedue to crack his knuckles and go ‘you got it, Boss!’ or something.

Which made the smooth and well-pronounced Arabic from Dimitri’s mouth just bizarre. Khalid squinted at Dimitri, who was just staring appalled at Dedue. Dedue looked a little shifty. “What are you doing speaking Arabic?”

“It’s Dedue’s native language,” Dimitri said in Arabic, big-eyed and dewey. “Why wouldn’t I know it?” He turned to Dedue, looking even more tragic. “You don’t have to tolerate that, Dedue.”

“It’s fine, Dimitri-sama.” Dedue crossed his arms, switching back to Japanese. Ugh. Khalid did not understand the usage of that honorific. The squealing fangirls called him the ‘Ouji-sama of UA’, which was adorably disgusting, but even the normal people outside of Gen Ed called him Dimitri-sama. While Khalid, who was the actual prince, didn’t get a single - “I don’t use my quirk outside of pre-approved situations. That is regulation for future heroes.”

Left unsaid: so what’s up with the constant party tricks you pull out to impress girls, asshole?

Khalid crossed his arms too, unimpressed. “What’s the manual definition of private?”

“Please don’t fight, you two.” Dimitri sighed, adopting a put-upon and miserable air. “Claude, I trust Dedue with everything. But I understand your perspective. Dedue, will you wait for us outside? Just to be sure we aren’t interrupted?”

“Of course, Dimitri-sama.”

Just like that, Dedue was gone. The door closed shut behind him with a silent click, and the empty space between Khalid and Dimitri yawned into a void. The space should have grown more comfortable now that the creepy brick wall was gone, but somehow knowing that he was standing right outside of the door made everything weirdly worse. Most of the school would pay a million yen to be in a room alone with Dimitri, but Khalid could only feel vaguely uncomfortable. 

It was a new sensation. Dimitri was embarrassing, but he had always enthusiastically treated Khalid like an equal. We’re all Class Reps, Dimitri would say, so it’s our duty to guide the next generation of UA’s heroes. So let’s be friends, all of us. Khalid had believed those words. 

Looking at Dimitri now, Khalid could only see the man who should have received One For All. Khalid had practically stolen it from him. By his own negligence, idiocy, and shit luck, Khalid had taken away the power that would cement Dimitri’s status as the Symbol of Whitebread or whateverthefuck.

The student closest to Byleth had been Dimitri. Byleth was Khalid’s teacher, but it was Dimitri who she personally mentored. Dimitri who she was actually friends with. Khalid had blown her off half the time. He had never really appreciated her. Dimitri was the one who had given back to her what she had given to him. 

Dimitri had probably been Byleth’s real choice for successor. Just everybody’s shit luck that Khalid had been the one lying on top of her cooling body. 

It was a costly mistake, and one that Khalid couldn’t remedy. But Khalid was stuck looking after Dimitri now, and there was no wriggling his way out of fulfilling the first responsibility he had ever been given.

So Khalid said the most horrific sentence of all, to the person he wanted to say it to the least. When all you had left of somebody was a promise, that wasn’t a promise you could afford to break. 

“How are you doing?” Khalid asked quietly. “Holding in there?”

Dimitri sagged a little, tense smile showing his exhaustion. “As well as one could. And you?”

“Kinda shit, to be honest.”

“As I said. As well as one could.” Dimitri and Khalid exchanged weak smiles. Maybe Khalid could tolerate this guy if he learned curse words. “You’ve been on my mind a great deal, Riegan-san. You were her Class Representative. She…saved you. And…they say Vice Principal Seteth found you holding her.” His voice shook, and he stared fixedly at the ground. Blood pooled in Khalid’s mouth, so maybe he understood. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”

Dully, Khalid said, “Seeing as you were the one in love with her, I’ve actually been feeling bad for you.”

“Then maybe we are both convinced the other has it worse.” Dimitri attempted another shaky smile at Khalid, and this time Khalid returned it just to make him feel better. “It makes me think we may be - if it’s not too presumptuous. Of course this is likely quite presumptuous of me. But it’s given me this feeling that we are…I struggle for the word in Japanese.” Dimitri halted, churning through his thoughts, before finally saying in English, “Comrades? That we are comrades, in this way.”

Khalid switched to English too, and he saw Dimtri’s shoulders visibly relax and untense once the language shifted. Unlike Dedue, who only grew tenser when Khalid used his native tongue, Dimitri seemed to lose some of his walls in English. Khalid would have to remember that. “That sounds about right. Way I see it, we’re both trapped in this shitty boat. So you know you can talk to me if you need to, right?”

Dimitri smiled again, fuller and easier, and dipped his head in a nod. “Of course. And you may speak to me too. If you’re experiencing any problems, concerns, or - or if you only wished to speak about Byleth. I would…I wouldn’t mind speaking about Byleth.” Dimitri’s voice lowered, and his eyes fell back on the ground again. “People are treating her name as if it’s poison. Everybody in 2A is just…avoiding the subject. Everybody speaks of the higeki or the sonshitsu, but nobody is speaking of her. I heard Ignatz and Raphael sharing stories of her, so I hoped that in your class it was different.”

“We couldn’t ignore her even if we wanted to.” Khalid had enough explosions under his belt today to prove that. “Moving on and looking forward is the tactical maneuver. It doesn’t help anybody to stay stuck in the past. They’ll expect you to move on too, Dimitri.”

Dimitri laughed a little. It wasn’t a very amused laugh. “As if they aren’t already? I was given five potential answers for any questions I received about Byleth. Vague deflections, all of them. They posted three in memoriam Tweets on my account. And they refused to officially involve me in any investigation into her death or the villains who killed her. Byleth never fit into the HPSC’s world, so they’re erasing her. And yet they’re so interested in her…”

Putting aside the disturbing level of control the HPSC had over Dimitri’s life. “They’re interested in her? How?”

“That’s what I wanted to speak with you about. I needed to know if the HPSC has approached you about Byleth. Has anybody said anything to you? Have you spoken with Principal Rhea?”

Khalid’s spine crawled, and he awkwardly shrugged. “Not really. I think Rhea visited me in the hospital, but I…wasn’t really up to receiving guests, you know. We didn’t get the chance to talk. Why?”

Dimitri’s brow furrowed. He folded his arms, running one thumb over his lower lip in thought. “They asked me a great deal about her quirk.” 

Fuck. 

“They wanted everything I knew about how it worked,” Dimitri continued, unknowingly horrifically. “Of course I observed her more than anybody else in the school - save maybe you, of course. I trained with her after school very frequently. I had to get approval from the HPSC for that. They were quite recalcitrant to give it at the time, but they seemed appreciative now.”

Dimitri was using big-ass English words again, but Khalid was spending more of his mental energy trying not to overtly freak out than cracking open his mental dictionary. He could pick up the gist easily enough. The gist that he might be in a little bit of trouble.

Weakly, Khalid said, “What did you tell them?”

“Only what everybody knew.” There was a strange implication in those words. Dimitri slowly rubbed his lip, deep in thought. “That she had complete control over all botany in her vicinity, as well as minor control over her geography. That could grow a bed of roses with a wave of her arm. That she could grow an acorn into a fully grown oak tree in seconds, and that she could move the oak tree’s branches to wrap around an enemy and capture them. She could control ivy, vines, and roots as if they were her own arms. And the earthquakes, naturally.”

“Ah,” Khalid said, “yeah. Naturally. Remember that famous fight she had against the wannabe League of Villains successors two years ago?”

“It was three. She split a city block in half. Destroyed five buildings, but we never had any aspirational League of Villain revivals after that.”

They said All Might had been a deterrent. Khalid kind of got that now. “I always wondered why she didn’t do that all of the time. If I had the power to create earthquakes I sure wouldn’t keep it in my back pocket.”

“She said it took more of her power than she liked using. No -” In Japanese, Dimitri said, “Than it was safe to use.” He switched back to English, his precise imitation of her quiet vowels falling away. “I always wondered what she meant by that.”

“Maybe her quirk was hard on her body,” Khalid lied. “She made it all look effortless, but she wasn’t all-powerful.”

“That’s what I told the HPSC. Even though…I’m embarrassed to say that I lied, Claude. I told them that her quirk tired her out. Even though it never did. I never saw her experience quirk exhaustion. Not once.”

A strange feeling began to creep over Khalid. He was unsettled. A lot of things about this conversation were unsettling. Dimitri’s thoughtful eyes shouldn’t have been one of them, but… “Didn’t know you were capable of lying to those guys. Surprised they don’t electroshock you or anything.”

Absently, Dimitri said, “No, they never threatened me.” Was it Khalid’s imagination, or did he emphasize ‘me’? “Why the sudden interest? Byleth’s quirk was amazing, but its details were common knowledge. They kept on asking me if she’d discussed her training regime for her quirk. I just told them she didn’t have one…”

This is worrisome. “Training regime?”

Dimitri nodded. “My handler did mention something to me. I asked her why they weren’t just consulting her quirk registry, and my handler said that she didn’t have one. She spent her childhood in a small Ainu village in southeastern Hokkaido. It was extremely remote, and the native people kept no official records or documents. Apparently Officer Jeralt and Vice Principal Seteth had to create legal identification and register her quirk just to secure her hero license. We have very limited information on her and her quirk as a child.”

“Didn’t she start fighting as a Tokyo vigilante when she was fifteen?” Khalid asked, somewhat desperate. He had no idea that Byleth hadn’t legally existed before UA. Why did Yuri never mention anything important? “There has to be footage of her using her quirk from back then, right?”

But Dimitri just shook his head. “The earliest records of her earliest adventures as a vigilante only mention her using her sword. Many victims gave the police reports of her growing them flowers, and she was famous in the slums for growing fruit trees and vegetable gardens to feed the poor and hungry, but she rarely seemed to use her quirk for combat. I think the HPSC couldn’t imagine why somebody would use such a powerful quirk only to feed the hungry…”

“Because they wouldn’t know an actual hero if she spat in their face.” Way too late, Khalid remembered his audience. “Uh, no offense.”

“None taken. I agree with you. Byleth was a true hero. The kind that is almost extinct from this world. Sometimes I thought she might be the only true hero left in Japan.” A shadow fell over Dimitri’s face, and Khalid fought the twisting in his gut. “The HPSC measures the value of a hero based on the might of his quirk. You can see it just by looking around you. Hero class members overwhelmingly have the flashiest, strongest, prettiest, and most virtuous quirks. Almost all of our classmates fit their description of the perfect successors.”

The guy masquerading a powerful mental quirk for a weak but flashy physical quirk knew what he meant. Dimitri undoubtedly saw it in the quirks of his classmates: Ingrid’s beautiful angel wings, Mercedes’ equally angelic healing hands. Felix’s insanely flashy thunderbolts; Annette’s tornadoes; Sylvain’s charms that enraptured a crowd and weakened his enemies. They were truly the quirks of the .001%. How the fuck did Ashe’s lame intangibility sneak in there. No wonder he had an inferiority complex.

Looking at video recordings of old Sports Festivals was hilarious. Fifty years ago, everybody’s quirks were shit. Chargebolt could short out a city block in his prime, but as a teenager his wattage was pretty pathetic. And Cellophane? Tape? Seriously?! 

As heroes, they were among the greats. But that didn’t matter. These days, UA wouldn’t let them in the front door. Why take a chance on somebody with a quirk in the top 5% when there was somebody with a quirk in the top .001% who was willing to work just as hard, who was just as desperate?

Honestly. Kind of reminded Khalid of medical school. In Saudi Arabia, fifty years ago all you needed to get into med school was good grades. These days, you had to have single handedly led a revolution in your impoverished rural village and hand-birthed a herd of camels or something. 

It wasn’t a surprise that Dimitri felt so strongly about it. His family and friends had been massacred by an evil gang of degenerates. They never should have tried to do humanitarian outreach to the ghettos where the people with villain quirks lurked and scuttled in the night. Of course the ghetto of people - including immigrants! - with villain quirks blew them all up. They were villains! And immigrants! Now Khalid had to deal with Dedue! Worst case scenario!

That ghetto was razed, now. None of Dedue’s home remained. The national defense force, police, and a handful of heroes descended upon that ward and smoked out everybody inside. A small culture had disappeared in a night of smoke and fire. Whoever sold Dedue off to the HPSC had saved his life.

“Byleth cared for the Quirkless. She cared for those with animal quirks, mutant quirks, villain quirks -!” Dimitri stopped short, choked up, and he had to swallow harshly before speaking again. “She once told me that she extends her hand to the person who needs her. That’s the sort of hero I wish to become. No - the hero I must become. A hero who takes up arms against the evil who hurts those who cannot defend themselves. The weak, the downtrodden, the forgotten, the exploited…” Dimitri clenched his fist, shuddering a deep breath. “I’ll avenge those who cannot avenge themselves. I’ll take justice for those who cannot take it themselves. For the subjugated and the dead. That’s the hero I will become.”

It was what he said on camera. That was the strangest part. Khalid knew full well that the HPSC wrote everything he said and did. Dimitri’s words in interviews couldn’t possibly be what he actually believed. Even his words to the teachers and other UA students were scripted. But in Dimitri’s interviews, he always said that he wanted to be a hero who protects society from evil. Blue Lion: The Tempest Hero was a hero who saves the good people from the bad. That was Dimitri’s tired and true line. Was it really that different from what he said now?

Did Dimitri tell the truth in front of the cameras? Or was he lying now? Did he always tell the truth, or was he always lying? 

Khalid really didn’t want this to be his problem. He had never meant for Dimitri to become his problem. He was beginning to worry that Dimitri was a problem too big to be solved. 

Byleth. How was he supposed to do this?

Mildly, masking the heavy weight in his chest, Khalid said, “Will he be the HPSCA’s hero?”

“My contract with them ends once I turn eighteen.” Not through any lack of trying. Khalid read through the Japanese laws himself. His uncle had signed Dimitri into a managerial contract with the HPSC when he was thirteen - Lord knows who signed Dedue into it, probably somebody who couldn’t speak Japanese - but child hero contracts are entirely different from adult hero contracts. Khalid couldn’t imagine how hard the HPSC were pressuring Dimitri to sign a new contract. “I’ll make my own way as a hero after that. I’ll become the sort of hero I want to be. A hero who would make Byleth proud. Not the puppet I am today.”

“Wow,” Khalid said, perhaps untactfully. “I didn’t know you cared that you were a puppet.”

Dimitri laughed. It wasn’t a very nice laugh, but Khalid’s words hadn’t been very nice either. “I’m a fraud. Byleth was the only person besides Dedue who ever saw through that Ouji-sama facade and found a human being. She truly inspired me to be better. And now she’s…I’m not sure how to be better, now. I’m not certain it’s still possible to become the person I wanted to be.”

“Dimitri.” Khalid sighed slowly, and he ran a hand through his hair. It made him feel worse, so he dropped his hand. “Byleth…she didn’t get the opportunity to say a lot to me. Before she died. But she was able to tell me a little. And she asked me to…” Khalid swallowed hard, fighting the weakness scratching in his ribcage. “She asked me to look after you.” 

Dimitri was silent. Khalid turned his head away, steadfastly looking at the ground. He didn’t want to know if Dimitri was looking at him - the expression on his face. 

“I don’t really know how,” Khalid said awkwardly. “You clearly - uh, have your own stuff going on. And I have mine. But…that’s what Byleth wanted, alright? So I’ll do my best. Just know that she wanted you to be looked after. I think she’d want you to look after yourself too.”

And Dimitri…look after Dimitri, Claude. He’s fragile. I worry about him.

“Don’t make me disappoint her,” Khalid said, “okay?”

Finally, small and fragile and broken, Dimitri whispered, “Alright. Thank you.” 

“I really didn’t do anything.”

“You did,” Dimitri said. “You did more than you know.”

A school day where he only almost blew somebody up and where he may have positively influenced the severely distraught Ouji-sama of UA’s mental state. Pretty good day at UA, all things told. Leagues better than his previous day. Maybe Khalid’s standards had fallen to rock bottom.

The rest of the day passed relatively without incident. Vice Principal Seteth taught Heroics Seminar. There were worse people to do it. Maybe it was Khalid’s imagination, but Seteth looked at him far too many times during that class. For far too long. 

A distant voice. What had that voice said? 

Claude. Claude. Get a medic. Oh, Lord. God. Byleth. Get a medic here now. Lord, Lord. Claude, please - Claude, let go of her. Careful, now. Are you hurt? Claude, please give me her. Everything will be alright, child. Give me Sensei. Sensei will be fine, just give me Sensei. What’s that all over your face -

“Doing alright, Riegan-san?” 

“Doing awesome,” Khalid said, scooping all of his class materials in his backpack in a frantic sweep. Seteth looked a little impressed and mostly concerned. “Have to go take care of the school chores, bye!”

“Riegan-san, I thought perhaps we could -”

“See you tomorrow, Seteth-sensei!”

[coldresolve]

fun facts about the torture in moneymakers while were at it. spoilers if you're not caught up

the torture is not done in any attempt to gather reliable intel, induce compliance or as a punishment to deter unwanted behavior, none of which are things that torture can do. instead it is perpetrated for the sadistic gratification of the torturer, and for a profit incentive

except for that one time in pt34 when it was done to induce fear and make conrad's escape physically impossible, under the guise of teaching him a lesson. davin knew what he was doing

conrad complying with demands is always, always under duress. i wouldn't call that obedience, personally

you'll notice that conrad's fear of renee has turned into contempt and disgust, a subtle nod to the fact that torture victims dont typically build a whole lot of positive associations with their torturers

conrad gets more resistant over time, not less. but im sure thats just because he hasn't been beaten into submission yet

davin talks pretty openly about exploiting the media as a way to get attention in that one scene. not only a comment about the media's sensationalism of torture/violence, but also a hint to the fact that it can be exploited lol

theres not a whole lot of talk about sophisticated torture, in fact i think i even wrote a thing where renee admits that it doesnt require a whole lot of finesse to hit people. or maybe im just misremembering. its supposed to be in there tho

speaking of renee, i dont know if you noticed, but he isnt doing so well. could this have something to do with his actions? the world may never know

that part where renee thinks about the way we culturally view perpetrators... he comes to the wrong conclusion and you as a reader are not only expected to realize that on your own, but also think about what thought processes led him to be wrong. but also ive been throwing around ideas as to how i might add another perspective about it in the future so theres that

i have a whole tirade about the concept of being 'broken' coming up. spoilers ig

davin is doing just fine. davin is a machiavellian. davin, get this, also acts as an argument to the fact that the insidious parts of torture aren't in the people who act it out, but in the people who facilitate it. the people who act it out just tend to be useful idiots. sorry for the diss renee ily

anyway yeah so. that whole thing about davin building a strenuous trust with conrad in the beginning by seeming like the lesser of two evils was intentional

something about that darn profit incentive might be meaningful to the theme here but alas this falls beyond the comprehension of my feeble mind (aka spoilers lmao)

[royrockstone]

treat it as a prompt to spread your food motifs thoughts, would love to hear some (especially after finale)

ty for askinggg <333

4x10, as told through food:

Caribbean Air Clear was a big win for caroline ed truthers. caroline’s food stuff has always been a stand-in for her failure to parent— she is either resentful of having to, or unable to, nourish them; she gives food in paltry amounts because that’s how she parcels out affection. and the kids find what she does give them inedible. at the Peter Munion Pitch Dinner, she announces that the portions are going to be small, and the only thing that looks like palatable food in her kitchen (the cheese) is reserved for peter— a person she actually chose to put in her life and seems to be happy with.

in contrast to logan, who tested and punished them around food, i read caroline’s inability to nourish them as more unintentional— she just can’t do it because she feels so much bitterness about her family. i also think there’s gender stuff in there— she's not Womanly bc she can’t cook (or, more likely, have someone else cook) properly, she’s like if the wire mother didn’t even give milk. in some ways, she’s sort of girlish rather than womanly (expressing in chiantishire that she wants to like have fun and drink and fuck and gossip rather than settle into being an older woman who’s best days are behind her. and she gets along best with her girliest kid, roman.) it always makes me feel crazyinsane that the one moment In The Light that roman seems to have gotten is laughing with logan about caroline’s inability to feed them (“three muddy trout for six and fill up on mustard”) those kids had no chance to be fed emotionally or physically lol </3 

meal fit for a king! lets talk about it. it is, first of all and foremost, sweet! it’s a time when food is being used playfully and you’re expected to eat rather than expected to abstain. but theres also such a dark side to it imo, as with all affection for the roys. 1. shiv spits in the blender (in a mirror of when she spit in kens notebook in s3) which is meant to be at least a little bit degrading 2. the whole point is kind of degrading (the name sounds like something logan would do — see boar on the floor, dinner for winners and mole in the hole from the script books) make kendall eat something disgusting, not as a test per se, but as a way of humbling him just a little. food is still lowkey a weapon even when it’s sweet and silly. (also theres some kendall jesus motif— roman crowns him but in a way that’s mocking etc) 3. it’s sweet specifically because the foods are a) unwanted— the roy kids have been starved, of affection and literally of food, and they’re making something genuinely nice with scraps and b) not luxurious— it’s not ortolan or kendalls endive salad, it’s bread ends and cocoa powder. 

there was an interesting moment that mirrored my 4x08 food lore thoughts— ken offers roman rum punch when he’s still trying to woo his board vote against shiv, and roman ignores the punch, pours himself a shot, then grabs a beer. kendall is the one who locked him in a cage and made him eat cake, he’s the reason they had to eat roast chicken, roman experiences his brother as always trying to subordinate him by controlling what he consumes (which is obv a corollary to trying to control him in business.)

on the less thematic/more personally self-serving ed headcanon side of things, nothing has contradicted my hc that roman hasn’t eaten solid food since logan died. all he does is lick Peter’s Special Cheese, drink coffee (sleep deprivation won succession, actually), and drink alcohol. we see roman eat cake at connors rehearsal dinner, pre-logan death and during what he thought was a secure time in the sibling alliance, then never again. his habit of snacking on little bits of fruit and desserts has totally disappeared. tho it's not shown, i could see him eating the night of the election when he realized he won at something and was expecting to crush it at the funeral the next day. if hes becoming logan, hes allowed to eat. but the second he flames out at the funeral and realizes he is, in fact, still a dead man walking, he’d go back to not eating. trying to please the dad in his head, or to express his essential deadness/emptiness without his dad. 

ofc, we don't rlly see the other siblings eat, either (i have laser-focused Roman ED vision so something might have slipped past me. does shiv taste the breakfast tom brings her?) notably, no one ate at the Funeral Planning Committee breakfast, they don’t eat at the tailgate im p sure, i don’t think anyone touched the food at the Munion Pitch Dinner. (tbh concerned for shiv’s fetus re: having adequate calories.) i think part of it is grief and part of it is collective family Disorder and part of it is the good old competitive strong dog weak dog stuff.

i made a joke that roman is going to end up like caroline, but i kind of meant it? i can see him having no food in his house, cocktail in hand, snugly burying himself some place out of the way and fucking around with mild self-destruction for the rest of his life. (altho rather than a failhusband i think he’d try to replace logan yet again and end up with a partner who was pretty brutish or domineering) 

ty again!

[fictiondotbored]

Little longer drabble (based on my play through) for Astarion because. I need to get my writer's spirit up and going again and this pixelated man on my screen has me in a slight chokehold.. Started playing just a few days ago so not really far into his personality and all that but Asterion's little panic when we find that boar?? AHH

The tadpole's in everyone's brains are doing hell knows what but they can't be good, so when Tav decides to make camp already again?? Just a couple days into their venture most companions are a bit annoyed. Their priority should be to get going and of course sleep is needed to heal, they *get* that, frustatingly so, but it doesn't help the fact that they're seemingly wasting time. Now Astarion is also a bit fuzzy about making camp almost every night, like really? On the other hand tho he's relieved, he's hungry, famished even, and finally he has a chance to break from the group with no unwanted attention. It's been too little time for building trust with anyone, he's surprised to be travelling with the lot at all after pulling a knife on Tav when they'd first met, so sneaking off would only have risen their suspicions. He needed to be careful and camp was the perfect opportunity

It was fairly easy to just walk off without waking anyone, after fighting that hostile group in the chapel ruins everyone's beat and tired and just plain right exhausted; add some fugly undeads that had risen just to protect a useless cryp to the equationd and sure enough you've got a party in due time for a nap. So, off he goes, in the wee hours of the night, stalking whatever prey he can find in his limited time. It took him some running about, distancing himself from the party to hide his tracks, deeper into the forest, to finally find a fat boar unassuming and Astarion could not wait any longer so he pounced on his prey. It was a hasty ordeal, not at all satisfying but it would suffice, at least until they made camp again

A few days go by and to be honest Astarion had already forgotten about his evidence left in the middle of the woods but by the hells, when Tav leads them away from the Druid's camp at the Hollow and straight into the forest, Astarion can't do anything but hope that they'd not come across the boar's corpse. Luck of course this time around is not on his side and his annoyance spikes when Tav takes a quick look at the cadaver, like they do with every other dead fucking animal. He hears them mumble about it being strange that it's dead because "it looks healthy" but it's dead now. No health can help that. Of course he gets nervous about Tav prodding around, pondering and wondering and it's annoying him. Not really, actually he's a bit anxious to be found out so he tries to distract her by being a bit more snippy and sarcastic than needed be.

"The pig is dead my friend, staring at it won't bring it back. We'll never fix these brain worms if we stop and gawk at every piece of carrion you find."

Maybe it's because they're a druid, bound to nature and such, or maybe it was his mistake for getting a bit snarky at this particular boar... they just give him a glance before kneeling and inspecting the boar for wounds. The whole party's infested with mindflayer parasites happily munching away at their thoughts and Tav is concerned about a dead boar? For what. But it just seems to fit perfectly to them so he should have expected so. He watches them gawk at the stupid beast and then their gaze gets stuck on something. Shit. They actually noticed those two tiny puncture wounds? Honestly impressive, especially on a hairy boar. But shit still. He needs to know what they're thinking because fuck fuck fuck

"And is it dead enough for you?"

"These marks look strange. Do you recognise them?"

Ah shit. They ask it in such a manner too... With that undertone, as if accusing him of withholding information. As if they knew that he knew what happened. This is bad. Can't even lie, he is a bit panicking at this point. Mostly inwardly but it does slip out in the slightest stutter and the way his eyes involuntarily open up. He would love to think over his answer and calculate the risks of what informations he could bare to share, what knowledge he'd be wise to reveal and which to keep under wraps but he's kind of under a timely limit so there was no time to actually think, like hello? The other party members aren't paying that much attention thankfully, more interested in the noises and chatter from nearby but Tav does not stray her attention from him. So he sort of just blurts something out

"I-" he stutters. he reveals they're from a vampire. If he had a beating heart it surely would be loud enough for Tav to hear by now. He rambles on, offering to take the first watch, to protect them for the night but then he pushes them once more to get fucking going. After he's said his piece he shuts his mouth, anxious to know their reaction. Would they find him out? Did he give too much away?? Maybe they're a deceitful one and actually noticed him sneaking away nights ago. His mind is racing with miles and miles of scenarios. Ways she would kill him on the spot, accuse him of evading the location and his efforts to dismiss the cadaver, would she assume it was him or would she simply know already? What if that little tadpole rascal in their brains connected and she could read his mind?? So many thoughts and fears that have him stand frozen solid before her, trying to convince her he's nonchalant by forcibly relaxing his muscles. There is so little trust between them yet, surely Tav would kill him for finding out he's a Vampire. What was there to lose for them if he was dead? Truly dead..

The seconds seem to drag on for uncomfortably long eternity, yet all she does is stare at him for mere moments and then she too just turns away from him, gifting her attention to the voices coming from nearby.

Astarion's heart hadn't felt this active, this heavy with fear and anticipation for a long time and by the hells, he hoped it didn't happen again for another 200 years...

[llycaons]

came to the conclusion as I have several times before that I am simply not cut out for my job. I am bad at it, slow and a poor communicator and passive and easily overwhelmed. they said it would take about a year (from hiring? or from being on my own? either way) but whatever makes people slip into the flow and anticipate needs and Know The Supplies, maybe I would have gotten it had I gotten the normal training. maybe I wouldn't have. its easy to say 'oh I'm struggling because I'm in a unique situation' and maybe that's true, but I had trouble long before we got the Unique Training part, and then since the training was so different I had trouble with that, to the exasperation of my trainers and co-workers. and it really didn't feel good every day to know you're not living up the expectations and standards of the people around you, to know without a doubt they're all smarter and more adaptable and quicker-thinking than you.

I'm doing okay now since I'm one of the very few people on my unit and they desperately need me, and leadership is covering for my inadequacies by sending me to do easy stuff when I need to get floated, but like...there are team members who are extremely hostile to me and its for good reason! and it makes it worse to know THEY'RE not the ones in the wrong. maybe they could be nicer, but if I truly had confidence in myself, it wouldn't bother me so much.

but I don't know what to do. there is no other job I can do with these qualifications and skills, and no way to leave this city until late next year. and I need this income. I'm going to limp along until I can safely extract myself, but until then, we'll all have to bear it. and it's a terrible thing, to know you're a burden on your team and that you're only here because everyone else has quit. if I thought I would ever actually put someone in danger, I'd of course leave immediately. but I'm doing relatively straightforward cases with very qualified people all around me, and I know the basics to keep people safe at least

I find myself thinking about my strongest critic, who quit a few months ago, and how much my failure to adapt may have led to that decision. maybe it's self-centered; there were many issues far before I came along. and they haven't spoken to even their closest friend here in months, so I think they probably resent this place a lot and want to leave it all behind, and I don't blame them

things have gotten so much better recently because of those staff members quitting and my manager waking up to realize she has to actually support us, and I don't dread going to work anymore, even to float. tho we haven't been canceled in ages 😔 I don't know, I think the true issue is that I just need more predictability and stability in the things I do on a day to day basis. I learn slowly, and I have trouble remembering things. ideally I would find a job where we do a limited type of low-acuity cases every day but still....pays as well? I don't know, I don't know. give this another year then I'm sure everyone will be happy to see my back.

it's difficult to see yourself as incompetent, disliked, and unwanted in your job, and not have that bleed over into your personal feelings about yourself. it's really hard. I think of my failures and the anger, contempt, and aggression that came to me as a result, and it really makes me nervous. we're doing cases in another part of the hospital soon, with different people. it was such a mess last time! why was I so overwhelmed?

it's frustrating. I know I can do some of these cases - even difficult ones like livers and kidneys- and do them perfectly competently. I'm fine in any belly case. I even enjoyed neuro. I just freeze up when I don't have confidence. I don't know what to do all the time! and I need to be in a situation where I do. I don't know how much work I can even do on my end to Not Be Like This. studying didn't seem to help, and I can't study from the internet anyway since every place does things differently.

I've always thought I'd either leave here and then go back home, or stay exactly in place, but I could still stay a year and then just get another job in the same place.

I've always wanted to get higher certification, but knowing the people around me are way more competent without having that, it feels like a joke. a slap in the face. I dont have anything neat to wrap this up with it's just. I've always been so good at school and so proud of that even when I don't have much else to lean on. so this feels really bad. I should contact my EAP counselor today

[unbounded-city-sekai]

EPISODE001: Unseen (Till I Fade)

'Just look at the screen. Just look at the screen. Focus. Breathe.'

Mikane’s eyes flickered nervously to the top corner of the chat. The familiar message bar glowed, flashing new notifications—fans, followers, all waiting for something. Something he was supposed to give them.

Something Till was supposed to give them.

'I’m Till.'

His fingers hovered over the keys, but his mind was elsewhere, stuck in the loops of doubt that spiraled deeper each time he thought about stepping away from the screen. Mikane couldn’t talk to anyone. Not really. He could barely make eye contact without wanting to disappear. But Till? Till was different. Till was loud. Bold. Till didn’t care about how many eyes were on him.

He could be Till.

But Mikane couldn’t shake the unease crawling up his throat. The idea of his face on camera… of someone out there seeing him, really seeing him, felt like a death sentence. His heart pounded just thinking about it.

'Breathe.'

Mikane closed his eyes for a moment. He could do this. He had to. The guitar was waiting. The fans were waiting. They needed him.

No, they needed Till. No one cares who Mikane is. But they care about Till. They like Till. They need Till.

He took a deep breath and pressed record. The transformation happened almost immediately—like flipping a switch. The shakiness in his chest quieted, replaced by something else. A rush. A power.

'This is me- for now.'

He let his fingers strike the first chord of the song, the rhythm pounding in his ears. Till was here, taking the stage. Mikane could disappear. He could let Till run the show.

No one would ever see Mikane behind the chicken. Not here. Not now. ___________________________________________________________________________

Social Media Post: <<Oh my gosh, did you see Till's stream last night?! It was amazing!>>

Social Media Post: <<been c-ing the name Till for a while, I'm getting interested who's he>>

Social Media Post: <<he's an electric guitarist lmao he's cool you should check him out>>

Social Media Post: <<im just doomscrolling might as well>>

Social Media Post: <<OMG LMAO HIS PERSONA IS A CHICKEN? THATS CUTE>>

Social Media Post: <<ye no1 knows their irl name tho>>

Social Media Post: <<there's a lot of musicians like that getting popular lately>>

Social Media Post: <<ye? who more??>>

Social Media Post: <<well, there's...>> ___________________________________________________________________________

The shrill sound of his alarm pulled Mikane from his sleep. His room was dim, the early morning light filtering through the blinds. He groaned, rubbing his eyes as he sat up in bed, the heaviness of his anxiety already settling in for the day. He knew what to expect—another day of trying to blend in, avoiding unwanted attention, and getting through school unnoticed. After a few moments of hesitation, he forced himself to get up, still drowsy from his sleep. He changed quickly into his uniform, the routine mindless but necessary.

Once dressed, he grabbed his bag, checked his phone briefly—nothing urgent—and made his way to the door. The quietness of the morning contrasted with the buzz of his mind as he stepped outside, his shoes crunching against the gravel of the path. He wasn’t looking forward to the day ahead, but he couldn’t afford to stay home. He walked to school, his steps slow, trying to calm the knot in his stomach. It'll be just another normal day. Yeah.

Oh, how wrong he was. ___________________________________________________________________________

As Mikane walked home, the familiar quiet of the afternoon wrapped around him. The streets were empty, save for a few other students heading home, their voices a distant hum that he just tries to ignore. He pulled out his phone, fingers grazing the screen absentmindedly. Scrolling through his guitar channel, he spotted a few new comments, most of them passing by without much thought. But then, one message stood out—a notification from an unfamiliar username: HYP3R.

Curiosity piqued, he tapped it open. The message was short, direct: “HEYYYYY, I saw your guitarist channel! You're REALLY GOOD! Ever thought about joining a band? We’d love to have you as our guitarist! PLS PLS PLS CONSIDER MY OFFER” Mikane blinked, his heart skipping a beat. Was this some kind of joke? A random offer? He paused, staring at the screen, the words echoing in his head. For a moment, the world around him felt still, his mind racing with the possibility of something more, something different. He couldn’t help but smile faintly, typing a simple reply: "I’m in. What's your Nightcord username?" ___________________________________________________________________________

When Mikane got home, he tossed his schoolbag aside, his mind still buzzing with the message from HYP3R. He logged into Nightcord, his fingers trembling slightly as he opened the Nightcord app. The familiar dark interface greeted him, and the icons for the band members popped up on his screen.

He felt a rush of anticipation, as if stepping into a new world. Mikane hesitated for a moment, staring at the band chat. The blinking cursor in the text box seemed to dare him to say something, to finally take the plunge. He typed, "Hey, it's Till. Ready to get started," before hitting send. Almost instantly, the chat exploded with messages.

HYP3R: <<HEY TILL!!! WELCOME TO NIGHTCORD!!! WE'RE SO EXCITED TO HAVE YOU HERE 😎🎸💥>>

Amane: <<finally u show up. better be good or i swear ill boot u out rq>>

uvfaithXP: <<Heyyyy! Welcome! I already feel like you’re gonna be a cool addition to the team.>>

Till: <<Uh, hey everyone! It’s great to be here. I’m ready to get started.>>

HYP3R: <<That’s what I like to hear! We’re gonna make some epic stuff together.>>

Amane: >>yeah yeah, we’ll see if you actually live up to the hype. Don’t screw it up, Till>>

Till: <<I’ll try my best. No promises though.>>

uvfaithXP: <<No pressure! We’re all about having fun here.>>

HYP3R: <<Exactly! We're all in this for the same reason. Let’s create something amazing together.>>

Amane: <<Just make sure you keep up. I don’t have time for slackers.>>

Till: <<I think I can manage. I’ve got some stuff I’ve been working on.>>

uvfaithXP: <<Alright, let's share ideas! I’m always down for a good brainstorming session.>>

HYP3R: <<Let’s do it! We’ve got some big dreams, and now we’ve got you in the mix!>>

Amane: <<Yeah, just don’t drag us down. If you want in, you gotta keep up with the rest of us.>>

Till: <<Got it... I’m in.>> ___________________________________________________________________________

Till: <<Ok, so... I’ve been working on something. Not sure if it’s any good, but it’s a start.>>

HYP3R: <<YEEEESSSS! HIT US WITH IT!! 💥🎸>>

Amane: <<as long as it aint some soft stuff, istg>>

uvfaithXP: <<we’re here for whatever you got, no pressure>>

Till: <<Uh, well, it’s kinda personal. It’s about... feeling invisible in real life and hiding behind this loud, chaotic persona online. It’s like... trying to escape, but you’re still stuck.>>

HYP3R: <<I LOVE IT! THAT SOUNDS SO EMOTIONAL, IT’S GONNA BE FIRE 🔥🔥🔥 LET’S DO IT!!!>>

Amane: <<so like... u wanna be seen but u dont want ppl to know who u really are? u sure about that?>>

Till: <<It'snot that, I just... sometimes I feel like no one sees me, y’know? I’m not really the ‘loud’ person in real life, but online, I can be whoever I want.>>

uvfaithXP: <<I get that. Everyone’s got something they’re hiding. It’s okay to not always feel like you fit in.>>

HYP3R: <<EXACTLY!!! And that's what makes this idea perfect! It's raw and real, just like us! We need to show everyone the real you, Till!!!>>

Amane: <<so we’re doin this song about bein fake and all that? alright, imma vibe with it... but if u make it sappy, im out>>

Till: <<No sappy stuff, I swear. It’s gonna be loud, it’s gonna be messy, but it’s gonna be real.>>

uvfaithXP: <<I love it already. We’re all in this together, and this song’s gonna show everyone who we are.>>

HYP3R: <<YAAASSS!!! OKAY, LET’S BREAK IT DOWN! We’re gonna need a solid hook! What if we have something like, 'I’m unseen, till I fade'?>>

Amane: <<sounds simple enough. i can work with that.>>

Till: <<I like that. It kinda captures the idea of fading into the background until you decide to make a stand, y’know?>>

uvfaithXP: "Yeah, and it’s catchy! It gives off that feeling of 'I’m not gonna stay hidden forever.'"

HYP3R: "OHHH YESSS. WE CAN MAKE IT BIG AND ANTHEMIC! Everyone’s gonna wanna scream it with us!!! 🎤💥"

Amane: "i get it, yeah. let’s keep it loud, no quiet bs. i want people to FEEL it."

Till: "Exactly. I’ve got the verses kinda ready, but we can all add to it. I want it to be more than just me."

HYP3R: "LETS COLLAB, LET’S WRITE THIS TOGETHER!! 💥🔥 We’re all part of this!"

Amane: "ok, ok. imma come up with a sick beat to match this whole vibe"

uvfaithXP: "I’ve got your back for the bass line and music vid. Let’s make this sound tight."

Till: "Awesome, I’ll send over what I have, and we can go from there. We’re really doing this, huh?"

HYP3R: "HECK YES WE ARE!! LET’S MAKE SOME MAGIC HAPPEN! 🎶🔥"

Amane: "yeah yeah, just don’t mess it up"

Till: "No promises. But I’ll do my best."

[jujuliabautista]

Process of Letting you Go.

Letting go of a person you are still in love with are the hardest thing but you have to do. It would take a lot of courage and strength to let go. Pain would eat you fully, Ego and pride were hurt, you are buried of your own what ifs and whys. But then time would let you realize that holding on will hurt you more. The more you give and hold on, the more you lose yourself and unable to familiarize yourself. By keeping on hold, the more pain you felt on process and will suffocates you and will lead you of unwanted thoughts.

Growing up, i thought i could let go all the pain i was holding for years when i transferred. I did. but i never knew that it was just a temporary fix of my pain. This pain, it is more than a decade now but the memories are still there. The pain is still there.

7 years ago. we unexpectedly met on a sudden reunion. the nostalgia that i felt that night. i couldn't explain. you haven't change a thing. years have passed that time but you are still you. Said my hi's on old friends years after i transferred school. it was a good reunion indeed as iwas able to catch up with my old buddies and mates. But that night seeing you is so hard to explain. i'm not sure if you were atleast happy to see me or the opposite. im not sure. We were so awkward that it feels like we do not know each other. Aside that whats funny is that no one knows about us. As if the things about us vanished. That night i wished i have'nt gone on that reunion. reunion supposed to be celebration of reuniting with your old friends. but it wasn't fun for me. all the pain that i tried to forget for years came back that night. it was hard.

It took me 2 years to leave the place that hurts me so bad and took 2 more years for me to able to love someone else truly. but because of that night the pain came back that quick. all the memories came back.

i tried. i tried so hard not to entertain the thoughts i was having days after the reunion. months after that reunion. you suddenly messaged me through messenger as if we were a casual. Damn. i regret accepting that message and responding to that.

again. I tried. i tried being casual even though part of me says this might be a chance to talk the issues that we haven't resolved yet. i didn't expect to be honest. but days have passed and you consistently messaged me which brought me to the expectations of something else. the thoughts won't let me sleep each night. i've collected all the courage i had to ask you to talk things out but i guess there are some issues and thoughts better left unsaid. i never tried again but i ensure to make you feel that i still love you.

4 years since that day you messaged me again, is also a process of me losing myself. I felt so stupid everytime i think about those times. I tried even though i can see thru you that i wasn't an option already. that we are done the day i left you. You cried late night drunk and messed up but i listened even though it feels like im being stabbed million times.

Did you cry like that when we broke up? did you cry like that when i left so sudden without anyone knowledge? Did you ever cry like that for me?

Im so messed up within that 4 years. everyone around me tells me to stop doing that to myself already but i listened to no one. I tried all the best i could holding to that. 0001% chance that we might have this second chance. but who am i fckin kidding? on the first place, we do not stand the chance at all. we are a mistake after all.

it took me decades to realize this. almost 12 years of a process of letting you go. freeing myself on the pain that i felt. i wasn't able to forgive you yet but i wish you hapiness atleast. God. 12 years. thats too long.

Part of me says i wish we never met but also part of me says thank you for being my youth. you helped me grew up tho. i haven't fully healed but i hope i could say to myself that i already moved on. 12 years is already enough.

[whoaaaoaoo]

hey sorry for a probably unwanted additional theory reblog but hyperfixation brain took over, if it is then ignore me and if it’s really that bad you can ask me to take it down or smth idk 🤷‍♀️

ok soo I totally agree with you on the talking to ranboo part, I thought it intitally but haven’t seen anyone else really say it because it really just does make sense, especially with “you were perfect” BUT that could also mean the audience because they acted the way that was expected/were manipulated/chose die

but again that was also my initial thought so yay I haven’t lost that many marbles

what really adds to ur whole gen 1 -> other gens tho is that generation loss (in the technical term) means degrading of quality, but we can take it as essentially making versions but more fucked up each time because hey, it make more sense in this context. sooooo maybe gen 1 doesn’t nessicarily INSPIRE the founder, but it could be them trying to PERFECT his story(s?) through more progressively fucked up VERSIONS

the concept of the founder’s “my story” being gen 0 does have interesting implications tho bc it does kinda support gen 1 influences other gens, maybe as though it either influences all gens or it is post gen 1 and shows their like obsession or sm this part of my theory is kinda half baked ngl have to revisit this paragraph lmao

oh but the founder is DEF more deranged than gen 1 but that’s just a- [i get dragged away by the CIA]

Some lil thoughts on the new GenLoss videos as of recent

In the “From the desk of the founder video” code (thank you random deleted channel for the decoding), to me it’s pretty obvious the founder is talking to Ranboo. Talking about how he (Ranboo) was special and could be used for something more, which would be Generation 1

- The founder also talks about how Gen1 was one of his favorites in “Welcome to Gen 0” and considering how special he talking about someone being special in Gen1, we can assume it’s ranboo

I really think that what happened with Ranboo inspired the founder to create the other generations, as it was the first of many. He wanted to recreate a situation like what happened with Ranboo and make it perfect (What perfect means to the founder, I have no idea yet)

Whatever the case is, this founder dude sounds like he (?) has a sort of obsession with these generations and making them beautiful/perfect, which I’m guessing is gonna mean they’re just as messed up as Gen1

[castle-dominion]

c3x23 pretty dead

This is a nostalgia song for me but it was released in 2011 so it was modern at the time. Wow. W o w...

I only rly know anything abt anything bc of the movie dumpling when some fat girl & some punk feminist joined a beauty contest. This man looks like a pimp. Kind of is Nice yellow cumberbund thing Illinois? Being french is weird. I want to say illinwa but everyone else says illanoy She;s wearing interesting clothing. Wow short with your daddy. I mean we all need to get away from home! Hey! I love the emotional b plot, it's so good to see rick as a dad who loves his daughter & supports her instead of acting like the twelve year old who can score his teacher. Odds are, someone's dead.

It's not the baron is it? Beckett outfit update: Detective clothes. Double breasted trench coat looking thing tied with a fabric belt. Her shirt is sort of crazyquilted in blocks it has colours, more pink around the waist. It is a regular collared buttonup shirt. I think I've seen her in it before too, which is nice bc I like seeing continuity. Ryan outfit update: Green sweater, dress shirt, brown normal looking coat (still professional enough), I can't tell the pants or tie bc the lighting is weird. Update: it's a light purple-tinted shirt. He's aken off his jacket in the precinct & I can see it now. The shirt has really nice collars & it's actually stripy but so light u can hardly see it. Tie is green & patterned slightly, it's like diamonds but it's also because the grain of the weave changes I think, so the way the light reflects off of it makes some of them more shadowed than others. PERLMUTTER YESSS SP: Detective. Writer.

I should call my dad. I don't talk to him enough. Glad he said he didn't actually know the time, just vaguely a little before 11; tho he could have also checked. Baron called them both detectives lol I mean yeah fair to the victim first but at the same time she's dead she won't feel it. Yeah lol I love how they're filming BTS & it might actually be a good idea to keep em on Come again! Oh no wait we don't want that. She's so silly I love her.

In the elevator scene the button for floor 4 is lit. (for floor four lol.) Homicide is on the 4th floor.

Beckett was indeed a model but not a beauty queen.

I like the one cop getting a picture with a queen oh goodness this is insane. A bunch of gals who look exactly the same all milling about this stinky bullpen & entire precinct wow & that "winners never slouch" got my mom & me to straighten our posture & celebrate the fact that she wasn't one of those moms who gave her kids eating disorders KB, whispering: CASTLE. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. JE: Beats the usual lowlifes & nutjobs  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) KB: I don't know if u can say that nut jobs and beauty queens are mutually exclusive JE: Yeah, but none of them connect to the murder. I checked the sequin against all their dresses RC: I bet you did. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) JE: & none of them are a match. KB: Okay, look at the footage from the dinner. Let's make sure that the dresses we checked are the ones they actually wore. JE: Hm. Watch a parade of beautiful women in evening attire? Yeah, I can do that. RC: I bet you can. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) KR: Hey. So, I've been interviewing these ladies-- RC: I bet you have. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) KR: -! About their alibis last night!

clipping

Castle she's probably way too young for you

This man is gay af. I'm glad it's about more than beauty & who can buy the fanciest dress. I would honestly expect to be makeup skills, dance skills, & sewing skills more than who can afford what or even stuff like social issues. It's kind of neat how it's a talent show as well as a beauty contest. I like this guy. He seems so stressed over his gal dying. Political he says, making those motions with his hands

Black sequins? It's like the wedding video. I thought they were black sequins! I just couldn't tell if it was black bc it was so shiny.

KR: For unwanted *looks to esposito* advances Esposito ryan is telling u to stop hitting on him, he's getting married. /j btw KR, eyes wide with excitement: Oh but it gets better! *hits espt gently* JE: *barely raises an eyebrow* (he would bite castle's head off if it was him) KR: *excitedly continues to explain the drama*

Ew I hate this bobby character. Man sat on the wrong side of the table ...Goddess train...???.?.?? Who wouldn't want to ride the bobby rocket? Everyone from what we hear! Boy can't even remember?

KB: this guy's dropped more pills than a three fingered pharmacist I can't believe castle took dad advice from him Esposito just had video running on beckett's computer? (btw i figured out how to put question marks on tumblr wéo relying on copy-paste: I use my french keyboard!)

Esposito has an ass

Someone would probably pawn the fiddle, not drop it down a drain. Tho pawned can lead back to u. Captions? He said right on, not all right. KB just sits in the desk espt was just at

Oh martha is so pretty! Far right! Look at her abs! What was your talent? The way I wore a sweater. Oh poor Alexis. I love the drama. Give her a hug! I'm so glad alexis has gram there.

Ok castle, you have been divorced twice, idk if your relationship advice is that good

Parallel. It's love! Montgomery is so sweet I love him! RM: If you stayed married long enough, you'd know it's hard to stay original after the first ten. BRUH. (that was good!) JE: Yeah, he was tweeting photos of his manhood along the way. *holds up fingers close together* (won clip)

KR with a nice pastel blue sweater, plus his usual attire. I don't like that accent. KB has a nice jeanjacket with those leather sleeves. You would disrespect a beautiful & expensive instrument like that? 25 is old? Your brain has barely finished developing! Drugs?

Ah nudes.

lmao I love the sticky notes they put over them RC: Well, just because you're smart and beautiful doesn't mean you have good judgment. KB: RC: I didn't mean me.

RC: Deadly action, that's a good title JE: *looks down & shakes head in exasperation* Why would the photographer pay HER for the photos? She would be paying THEM for the session, right? Also dang she's skinny.

Boy's gay voice is so strong that my little bro thought a woman was speaking. & then I went all trans on him & explained voices. I don't even know as much as I would like to tbh. I should take singing lessons (not necessarily gender affirming voice lessons)

RM: Beckett, you're a woman, right? KB, lowkey flustered: Sir, I have no idea what to get your wife! [...] RC: The best thing to give a woman is something she said she wanted when she didn't think you were listening. RM: What if I wasn't listening? RC: Gift certificate? no honey no

JE: *turns around to watch someone's booty* "Negative" Yay she's sending ryan to meet up with him finally, keep the boys together

I like how he doesn't remember the actual name but does remember it was smth similar to jerry. Already "night before last"? Mum is always confused about how the doorone remembers everything. Sus? Sure. Lack of smth regular? Maybe. Smth normal? not rly.

Keieiper XD Every guy is a creep in the eyes of the parent. Poor becket,, look at her nearly pulling her hair out. KB: It was my own private Vietnam. Our place smelled of hairspray, perfume, and cigarettes. I'm surprised that we didn't spontaneously combust.

It's ash!!! He really does love her to go see her dad at work to win her back Long distance relationships are better than they used to be. It used to be that your man goes off to make a fortune so he can marry you but then gets attacked by pirates & becomes a pirate himself & then steals you back from kidnappers, or you go away for ten months & then come back & your wife has a kid altho I might be mixing up the birth of hercules/heracles with ulyssix/odysseus & his son who I thought might be nine years old when the man was gone for ten idk it's smth like that anyways it's better to have long distance relationships these days since back then you could send letters that take ages to get to that war zone or whatever.

Ryan's the one who said "yo" this time Ew an obsessive porn wall Ew he's hanged right behind it. they didn't smell it

Peri mortem. During death, not before, not after. Before amber? Yes Before! Now can you please move? You're in my light! (Perlmutter also has an actor who needs to know where to stand to get his light) (not clipping)

By today's standards are downright tasteful! Those convenient sticky notes Girl he's on the phone, you're asking him to do work while he's on the phone? Poor Jenny. "Sorry Babey."

RC: You know I-- I hate to interfere… AC: Since when? RC: Point taken.

Nice little magnifying glass! He got it bc beckett doesn't have one Coffee <3

Y'all agreed & knew he was a cheater? Wow this is dramatic. WOAH A VASE! Who do I need to be ashamed in front of? "take care of it"???

BOBBY STARK? Course he doesn't remember.

Strawberry oil XD ok rick

Why woulld he assume one of them was lying? Didn't they all say she was great?

He was so upset! No! (Ryan & espt had better be there) Ah yes they are. Where u going? Huh?

Good work you two! *clearing throats loudly* (Ryan's square shirt love it.) Good work you folks. Rick really is a charmer isn't he? I love it when characters are in love Dancing "That gift this morning"? sounds like sex Wait, you're serious, boss? Smile, please. That's an order. (They all smile and chuckle.) RM: Hey, you kids take care, alright? (He really is the dad of the precinct) KR: What the hell did you say to him? RC: Nothing! No, I just told him to listen to what his wife wanted. JE: Damn, Castle. KB: Castle, let me let you in on a little secret. Captain Montgomery retires all the time, just give it a week or two. He's like the Brett Favre of the NYPD. Trust me. He's not going anywhere. It's just so cute, I KNOW they are just teasing him & making him think they were mad at him> & then espt still makes that move at him lol. Making him run out of the room sideways.

She will keep showing up See you tomorrow SDFHAKSJDFHDSFD

She is such a lil genius just like my bb bro. I took an extra year of highschool lol.

So yeah good episode.

[kimbap-r0ll]

Can you do a TWST imagine (Dorm Leaders+Jamil), In which reader’s parents are one of the great seven? (So like Malleus with reader who’s mother is Maleficent)

Hi, thank you for the ask! I think that this is a large amount of characters and because it's not just the dorm leaders (which I leave as an exception from my five-character limit), I'm just going to choose four random dorm leaders and Jamil.

Edit: For those wondering, I don’t headcanon Malleus and Maleficent being related, if someone has the chapter where this is mentioned let me know tho! As of now in twst it’s not confirmed. It was not my intention on making this seem like they were, so I’m sorry if this upset anyone

Malleus, Azul, Idia, Jamil, Vil with a reader whose parent is a Great Seven

Malleus

He's surprised, as that would mean you're also a fae. The two of you probably had a lot of similarities in terms of magical abilities and it made sense why you were living in Briar Valley. He just didn't know that you were related to a Great Seven, let alone the Thorn Fairy herself!

He doesn't consider it too much however, as he's just happy to be with you. He looks at you for who you are, rather than your reputation as Maleficent's daughter. He'll just say that it is an honor to be with you but that's as far as it will go.

Sebek on the other hand is freaking out that there's two super famous people on campus and that they're both in the same dorm as he is haha. Malleus will make sure that you don't get too much unwanted attention from curious students though as sometimes it can be overwhelming

Overall he's glad to be with you because of who you are, more than you being related to the Great Seven. Perhaps you should introduce him to your mother at some point, the two might have a lot in common

Azul

He knew you were from the sea but he didn't think you would be an octopoid like he was. He was super happy when you said that you were, since it made him feel less lonely.

But you shocked him even more when you said you were related to the Benevolent Sea Witch. Like, the person he looks up to? WHAT?!

He doesn't think he has the honor to be with you, but he fell in love with you because of who you were as a person to begin with. You were smart, talented, brave, and you looked at him as more than the head of Octavinelle or the "scary dorm leader in charge of the lounge."

He will ask to go to Corral Sea with you on some occasions, perhaps he's curious to see your mer form. But if you ask him, he'll be shy about it but with some convincing and lots of hugs he might cave in haha. Azul won't mind too much about your relation to Ursula, though he might be a bit nervous to meet her in person.

Idia

No way you were actually related to the King of the Underworld. No way, he's pressing x for doubt. But you said that it was true, and that you could show him and he was like "...no thanks I like my room."

He likes you for who you are as well, since you were the first one to geek out with him about video games and you were the first one to stand up for him when some students tried to gang up on the poor dorm leader. He admires your charisma but also your fearless personality.

If you do show him your father, expect Idia to hide behind you for most of the event. His hair might go red too, which you might point out is eerily similar to your dad's

Overall, he likes you because of who you are, and he won't worry about your connection to a Great Seven. If anyone tries to overwhelm you because of this information however, he might get upset

Jamil

He thought there was a reason you were so good at magic! Not to mention you would constantly talk about a talking parrot that was eerily similar to the tales of the Sorcerer of the Sands.

He thinks you're too good for him. Jamil's a vice dorm leader, let alone a servant to the Al Asim family, so he has no idea how someone so prestigious (at least in his opinion) would want to be with him. But you tell him that family names and such doesn't matter to you, and he feels the same way.

He might be a bit hesitant to show up in front of your father soon, so for now he might just ask you questions about him. How is it like to be related to him? Is the parrot really annoying? Stuff like that haha

Just remember that Jamil's there for you! He loves you because of who you are! Also, if you do end up showing him your father, expect him to be a bit flustered because he's anxious but the two of them will likely be on very good terms since they're kinda similar in your opinion.

Vil

Yeah you were beautiful, he knew that. But what he didn't know was that you were related to the Beautiful Queen, you know, the person Pomefiore's based off of.

He loves you because of who you are as well. He doesn't consider your parentage very important when he loves you. He won't tolerate people harassing you about your mother though.

He wouldn't mind meeting your mother though, since he has confidence in himself to look good. But once the two of them meet, the two of them realize that they're really similar haha.

He really doesn't care that much that you're related to the Great Seven, though he considers it an honor to be with you. Vil won't think much after that, but other Pomefiore students might be a bit scared of you haha.

[iicheeze]

𝐏𝐎𝐕: 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐋𝐄𝐃𝐆𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑.

Inspired by the song; It's Not Like I Like You.

Childe or Tartaglia X Tsundere Gender Neutral Reader | High School AU

a/n: SORRY FOR EVERYONE WHO TOLD ME A MISTAKE I MADE HERE I WAS HALF ASLEEP AND I DIDN'T KNOW 😭 THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THO

It all started when your second year of high school started. You expected another normal high school year. Just much more difficult lessons and possibly new students and teachers. It's not like you're gonna need to pay attention to their names or whatever.

Until that new kouhai (underclassmen) from Snezhnaya High moved to Liyue High. The very same high school you attend. Of course, you were planning to just ignore him and just focus on your academics and friends.

Until he confessed to you.

Out of nowhere.

In the middle of a bustling hallway.

In front of everyone.

“ You're absolutely beautiful.. Be my lover? ” He crouched with one knee, kissing your hand.

“ HELL NO!!! WHO EVEN ARE YOU?? ”

Ever since that encounter, he's been courting you in any possible moment. He'll find you during lunch time, class breaks, mornings before the school starts, even after school!!

“ You look great today, senpai! However, it'd look better with me beside you. ” “ Shut up!! ”

“ Do you wanna eat lunch together, senpai? I can feed you and maybe you can feed me as well! ” “ No way in hell I will!! ”

“ Senpai.. I might need tutoring in History. Can you teach me?? ” “ I'm busy!! ” “ But I just heard that you're free this weekend- ” “ Shut up!! ”

He flirts with you, talks to you, and even asks for tutoring every now and then, only for you to harshly reject him.

Of course, a lot of girls bash you for this. Calling you unpleasant nicknames, making up rumors about you which is obviously isn't true, and even push you to lockers. That's the least of your concerns, though.

It's the ginger's fault!! Ever since he came into your life, it's been disastrous like there's no tomorrow!

You hate every second of interacting with him. You hate everytime he talks to you. You hate everytime he sometimes helps you with your problems. You hate how he flirts with you, pointing out the little things about you that you've never paid any attention to. You hate how he makes you feel accompanied. You hate how he makes you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. You hate how he was always there for you, even in unwanted times.

Wait a minute.

No way.

Are you falling for him?!

No way! You refuse! There's no way you're falling in love with that stupid kouhai of yours!!

Plus, you know how the other girls look at him. He's probably a playboy, anyways. Yet, you can't help but feel a thousand arrows going through your heart when you thought about what he could be doing with the others.

He could treat others the same as you. There's no way he fell in love with first sight. It has to be a trick of some sort.

You refuse to acknowledge that you're in love with that stupid ginger.

This is probably just a puppy crush. That's right! It's probably just a small crush. It'll pass soon. You don't actually like like him! Bleh. Love. It's not like you have time for it anyways!

It was just another day in Liyue High. As your English lesson teacher, Ms. Lisa, left the classroom. You knew it was a break between lessons. As you then expected your stupid kouhai coming through the sliding door.

Yet, he wasn't there. His bright ginger hair is nowhere to be seen. Nor is his signature smile. Surely he's just late, right?

But no. Your biology teacher came as 10 minutes had already passed, with your kouhai nowhere to be seen. Wait a minute, why are you expecting him in the first place?!?! Stupid [Name].

Time passed by like a snail trying to win a race with a turtle. It felt slow, and unmoving. Usually it passes by like a breeze. Is it because your mind is always occupied with Tartaglia's annoyingness? Tch. Whatever. He's probably just pranking you. Take your mind off of him, goddammit!

But then another day came, and another, and another. Yet Tartaglia was nowhere to be seen. You even took the time to go to his classroom! But his seat was empty. Confused, you asked one of his classmates.

“ Oh, Childe's sick. I heard he got a heavy fever. Probably because he fought with someone in the rain. I don't know. ”

Oh. No wonder he isn't here.

Tch, stupid ginger. Always going through stupid stuff. You've always prevented him doing his stupid ideas, solely because he always tells you before he does it.

Once school ends, you went to the Pharmacy to buy medicine. No, you aren't worried about him. You're just being a decent human being. No, you're not making him chicken soup because you're worried that he doesn't have the appetite to eat. You're just having normal human decency! There's a difference.

Finally knowing where Tartaglia's home is, thanks to his teacher, you immediately visited him.

Two taps were heard as you knocked at the front door. The door then flew open, revealing a ginger-haired woman who seemed to be in her middle ages. “ O-oh! Hello, I'm [Name]. Tartaglia's senpa- ” You were about to introduce yourself, but your sentence was cut off by the woman.

“ Ajax's lover!! ” She squealed. Giggling happily. Heat rose to your cheeks, shocked of her statement. “ W-What!! No, no!! I'm his senpai!! ” You profusely denied. “ Oh, don't worry dear!! You don't have to be shy!! ” “ I'm not- ” “ Come in, come in!! I'll lead you to his room!! ” Before you could even finish, Tartaglia's mother took your arm inside the house, leading you to his room.

Not even 2 minutes in, and you were already in ‘ Ajax ’s room. With his mother giggling at the other end of the door.

“ Oh? Senpai! What are you doing here? ” Tartaglia sat up from his bed, sweat dripping down from his forehead. Geez, what a terrible view. And even you wouldn't insult him.

Ok, maybe just one insult.

“ YOU IDIOT!! YOU ABSOLUTE MORON!! WHY DID YOU EVEN FIGHT SOMEONE, LET ALONE IN A HEAVY RAIN!! ” You hit the ginger at the arm, yet light enough not to actually injure him.

“ Ow, ow! Sorry, senpai! Ahaha! I just can't help it, you know? ” He laughed, before a series of coughs came out of his mouth. Causing you to face palm.

“ Geez, lie down you blockhead. Don't force yourself. Especially when your sick! ” You urged, pulling the taller male to the bed, forcing him to lie down.

“ Christ, you look terrible. ” You added, pressing your hand at his forehead to check his temperature. “ Geez, hot. ” “ Dang, not now, senpai! I know I'm hot but still- ” “ Shut up!! Not that, you fool!! ”

A moment of silence was shared, with Tartaglia's chest going up and down. “ So.. Ajax?.. ” You called, “ Hm? ” he responded. “ I didn't know your first name is that. How come you've never told me? ” “ You never asked. ” A slap made contact with Tartaglia's stomach.

“ Oh and, I didn't know you'd care for me enough to visit me when I'm sick. I always thought that you just view me as an annoying playboy, but I guess even you miss my presence, huh? ”

It was supposed to be a tease, and you know that.

So why the heck are you getting shy over it?!

“ I'm not!! I'm just being a-a decent human being! That's all!! There's a difference, you bonehead! ” Even though that was your usual remark, it wouldn't hide your obvious blush on your cheeks.

Obviously, Ajax noticed this. And he couldn't help but laugh over it.

“ .. And.. At first, I did view you as an annoying playboy. I've never received this kind of attention so I got suspicious of you. But.. I guess I did like your company. Not to mention that you seem really genuine around me. ” You muttered, yet loud enough for the ginger to hear you.

“ Oh.. That explains why you're always like that. Haha! ” “ Shut up, you idiot ginger. ”

“ Well, if you're still suspicious of me. We can spend time together. I mean, all the times we've interacted are always about me. Now, it's your turn. I've always wanted to know more about you, now's your chance! While I'm stuck on this bed though. ” Ajax stated, giving you his signature smile.

“ .. Alright, then. What do you wanna know, huh? But first, have you ate? ” “ .. Yes. ” “ Yeah, no, I'm not believing that. I made chicken soup. ” “ Wow, for me? ” “ No!! Don't get the wrong idea!! ”

Part 2?

[dovabunny]

Part 3 - need or want?

Ghost pov. Under the cut.

To say Soap had become his saviour wouldn't be inaccurate. His life stopped revolving around missions and waiting to go the next mission. Now he was planning his weeks around his visits, even turning down jobs with an iron will.

The first time Price had to tell Laswell in front of him to give up, Ghost will not budge because he had an appointment with his masseur that day - she looked like she was gonna explode, torn between disbelief, joy, and fury.

It was important to him. Soap was important to him.

It was like the man saw him for who he was - and the irony isn't lost on him there. Soap read his body like a book, never pushing where he didn't want to go but leading him right through walls he thought were made of steel and fire.

He gives a little huff of amusement when he realizes Soap pretty much got onto a huge wrecking ball and smashed right through those walls. Which is morbidly apt, seeing as his speciality used to be demolitions - which too his sight, but gave him Soap.

As he listened to the Scott's beautiful voice, tongue rolling over consonants and wrapping around vowels, he found himself actually caring about someone else's life - *wanting* to know them better, to know how was their day, was that show as good as he hoped, what was dinner.

He also learned more about himself. He hasn't had an interest in taking care of his body or knowing himself in decades.

He learns he likes green tea and citrus scents, he likes company if there's no expectations, he loves warm pressure on his body, and

...he can get jealous.

"Ye know, Roach has been begging me to meet ya. Told him I'd swat him like a bug if he comes close when you're here, tho!"

Ghost has to suppress tensing, knowing Johnny will immediately notice. Who the fuck is 'Roach' and why does Soap talk about him to the guy

"And Roach is?"

"My friend and 'rehab counsellor'. Used to be military too, actually, but his vocal cords were damaged in a fire."

Ghost makes a noise of interest. Actually he doesn't want to know about this other man - just more about Soap. He's never talked about his rehab.

"Ah was in a pretty dark place - pun intended - when ah lost my sight. Didn't... Didn't really see the use in carrying on, ya ken? Spent my life to build skills and turn myself into this weapon - lost my purpose."

Ghost listens so carefully he almost stops breathing.

"They didn't wanna discharge me, said I was 'at risk'. Then I met Roach. He went through the same shit, decided to go into counselling. Good listener. Calls himself 'all ears' cause he can't talk. The damn gremlin." It's said with a fond chuckles.

Ghost bites his lip.

The way Soap talks about Roach... It sounds like Soap is pretty fond of him. Very much.

He supposes he should've known the absence of a ring or mention of a partner doesn't mean Soap would be single.

Even though not even in his fantasies could he imagine Johnny being interested

The wave of ugly jealousy is replaced a flush of shame - what fucking right does he have to be jealous of Soap's partner. Who the fuck does he think he is, the ugly, scarred, unwanted mess of a man with more skeletons and baggage than redeeming qualities.

"Hey," Soap's soft voice brings him out of his spiral. "What's going on in here? It's like you're trying to shrink into yourself." A soft tap on his mask covered head.

Ghost is quiet for a long time, but it's not uncomfortable. He makes Soap won't force him to do anything.

He's never felt so safe with a person...ever.

He lets Johnny's hands ground him, bring him back into his body and out of his mind. The firm pressure, the gentle scent and sounds, Johnny's soft breath and the perfect light scrape of his callouses over his shoulders.

He talks.

"Just... Happy for you. People would kill for that."

"What? To lose their eyes, meet a mute chaotic goblin and become a part time masseur cause that's all I'm good for now?" He says with a soft laugh that Ghost hates. It's empty and there's hurt under it.

"No, finding yourself outside the military. Living for yourself, not just as...canon fodder for another man's greedy war."

He's silent for a beat and swallows rough.

"To have someone who knows you. To come home to. Who loves you...like you deserve."

Soap's hands freeze and Ghost hears his breath hitch. Fuck, he shouldnt have said that, he has no right commenting on Soap's personal life!

"Sorr-"

"I'm single," Soap blurts in a rush, interrupting his apology. "Roach is my friend, a brother more like, I love him as a brother."

Soap's fingers spasm a little. "So, single. Just me. Been just me for...an embarrassingly long time." He says it with an odd tone of importance, like it needs to be clear.

Ghost doesn't know what to say. He settles for an idiot "..oh."

Soap coughs awkwardly, but his hands are confident as they pick up again, moving to his calves to work out the tension of standing for hours.

"And you? Ye don't talk much, so is fine of you don't wanna say but.... Got someone waiting for you? Who loves you like she should?"

Ghost feels little foreign tingles radiate from his chest. It's the first time Soap explicitly asked about him and - is he out of tough or is the man flirting? Fishing.

"No. Just me. No family either. Not girlfriend." He lowers his voice a bit. "Or boyfriend."

"Oh," Soap's response mirrors his own. " Good." Then he freezes again. "I- I don't mean good that you don't have anyone, cause you should! I mean, you deserve it. But, like, good as in - that... You're open to...lads too." Soap's voice goes softer till it's a whisper.

Ghost can't help the chuckles that shake his shoulders. In the months he's known the man and heard him recount his whole life and every thought, not once was his voice unsteady or his words as rushed and awkward.

He chances a glance at the man over his shoulders.

"Should see yourself. Quite the shade of red, Johnny."

The nickname seems to make it worse and Ghost smiles in true, honest delight.

Soap sticks out his bottom lip. No fair you can see mah face when I lose my smooth charm and you're wearing a mask."

Ghost watches him carefully. "Does the mask bother you?"

"No, whatever makes you comfortable is fine it's just... Why? It's not like I can see you." He grins a little devilish. "Are you ugly?"

Ghost rests his head on his arms watching Soap. "Quite the opposite." He teases.

Soap looks pensive, teeth on his lip. "Could I... Ah, no, never mind." He recovers, reaching for more oil for his now cooled hands.

Ghost reaches out for his wrist.

Soap's voice stuttered. It was the first time Ghost initiated touch.

GhostSoap AU Concept - blind love

Soap is an army vet who lost his sight in an explosion. He now works as a masseur, he's good with his hands and his options are limited.

Ghost is a scarred, disfigured man in pain with insecurities he hid behind thick walls and a mask.

Ghost's body is a mess of injuries old and new, he can't even remember what it's like to not be in pain but always pushes through it. That he's getting older doesn't help either.

Until his back locks up mid mission and he's left in pain that has him limping and wincing.

Price has had enough of him dodging the question and actually orders him to get it looked at. Ghost refuses. First, he will not take off his shirt in front of a stranger, and he most certainly will NOT let a stranger touch him.

Price sighs and says he knows just the place.

If it wasn't an order Ghost wouldn't be here, no way in hell. He's just gonna go in, tell the guy to say he was here and leave.

It's a small parlour, if it can even be called that. A small two story building with a tiny waiting room and a door leading to the back.

But it was at the edge of town away from the bustle of the city, the wilderness literally just across the river next to it.

It helped a bit, the place being so out of the way. Ghost appreciated privacy, after all.

There was no one in the waiting room, but the door jingled when he entered. Soon enough a voice yells 'with you in a sec!', accent thick and Scottish.

THAT was unexpected. He was expecting a woman, possibly old and creepy. It helped a little bit more.

Then the door to the back swung open and he lost his breath a little.

The man walks out with a beaming smile, hair in a fkn mohawk that somehow looked great on him, built like a damn rugby player.

But it was his eyes.

A striking deep blue, but clouded.

At Ghost's silence the man's smile is a bit more forced. "I can tell you're there, ya know."

Ghost snapped out of his daze and stuck out his hand in greeting, then felt like a fking idiot and yanked it back. "It's Ghost, I mean, Simon. Price called about me."

"Ah. The lieutenant! Price told me you might be a flight risk," he chuckled, but somehow it didn't feel condescending or cruel as laughter towards him usually was. It was friendly, warm.

He felt entirely off kilter.

"I'm John MacTavish, call me Soap." He stuck out his hand. Ghost took it and shook, feeling callouses on his soft hands.

"Kind of name is Soap?"

Soap smiled. "It was my call sign. Was called by it so long anything else feels odd."

"You're military?"

"Was. Just entered SAS when," he gestures at his eyes with a strained smile.

Ghost didn't know how to respond, which Soap must've picked up on too cause he quickly followed with a "So! Shall we get started?"

Without waiting for a response, Soap walked to the back, Ghost snapping out of it and following after a beat.

He stood in the doorway and looked around. It had soft lighting, soft music from somewhere that sounded almost Celtic, it smelled... Amazing. Gentle and warm, but no distinct scent he could place.

Soap was moving around with precision, washing his hands and putting things ready.

Ghost had fully intended to go through with his plan - pay the masseuse to tell Price he was here then leave. Maybe buy a heat patch form the pharmacy.

But here, now, in this room with Soap - a veteran who'll understand, who can't see how ugly disfigured he is...

He decides to give it a chance. For the first time since he became a dead man, he's going to get out of his shell and try to take care of himself, to stop waiting for his inevitable death and actually work towards getting better.

In the best hands he could wish for.

[regalbootie]

hey! Love your fics, especially "binoculars see all" was soo good, one of my all-time faves. Wanted to request a fic with Larissa where reader is on a date to get over her n the date gets too handsy or something and Larissa goes all shining knight mode and saves reader

This actually turned out rather angsty which is not something I'm used too, I suppose It was my own experience of unwanted advances kinda snuck its way into this that this was kinda written. Though I do wish I had Larissa to curl up with after it happened😭

Sorry for it being quite dark it does have a happy ending tho!

...

Her knight in shining armour

Larissa Weems x reader

⚠️ warning: unwanted sexual advances⚠️ please be warned

...

It’s been 2 months since Larissa had rejected you, those months have been spent with you on autopilot. Blocking out all emotions and avoiding your boss at all costs. Even if it meant diving behind students to go unseen, earning you lots of weird stairs from your students.

A few days ago your best friend and fellow teacher Layla Maxwell had set you up on a blind date. “you need to get back out there! You can’t lock yourself in your room after classes”

She had a point and you thought about it. Fuck it what was the worst that could happen and it could actually help you get over the silver haired beauty.

Tonight was the night and Layla had helped you pick your outfit knowing you would probably pick an oversized sweater and jeans with the mood that you had been in.

She picked out something sexy, something that showed off every attribute you had going for you as well as a generous amount of cleavage.

So there you were sitting in a local bar waiting for your blind date sipping on a negroni. “y/n”

You turned to see a stunning beauty in front of you. Maybe this date wasn’t going to be a disaster you smiled at her “Regina?”

A big smile spread across her face “that’s me!” she took your outstretched hand and turned to kiss your knuckles making you blush.

You had just finished your drink and she noticed “how about I get us some drinks?” you nodded and she took a seat at the bar beside you and ordered some drinks.

The night was flying in and you were having a good time but you had noticed how fast Regina had been nocking back the drinks. She had increasingly becoming more flirty and her hands had started to wonder. Words were slurring too and you had become quite uncomfortable, Regina had even started asking uncomfortable questions.

Regina started with a hand on the shoulder but had moved it lower resting on your lower back but you grew very uncomfortable when they began to go lower and you jumped out of your seat when you felt her squeeze your ass.

You jumped off your seat very flustered and not in a good way. “I’m just going to the power room” you squeaked, rushing off.

You hunted through your bag to find your phone to give Layla a piece of your mind for setting you up with a handsy drunk.

Not looking in front of you, you felt yourself crash into something strong and hands wrap around you to steady you. “oh god I am so sorry!” you look up to see those icy blue eyes that you had been working so hard to get over and avoid.

“Principle Weems!” you gasped not expecting to see her in a place like this. She looked stunning, she was wearing a tight golden dress that hugged her waist snuggly and she looks like a goddess.

“Please we’re not in work, call me Larissa” smiling down at you, realising her hands were still wrapped around you she retracted her hands with a blush across her face.

You shyly look down finding her eyes too intense “I’m sorry for bumping into you Larissa”

“it’s perfectly fine, I would recommend you keep your eyes up from now on” her hand took your chin and tilted your head up. Sucking a breath in you looked into her eyes, you were in a trance and never wanted to leave it.

“I.. uh” the door to the bathroom swung open and there was Regina staggering in.

“Y/n! Where have you been! Can’t leave your date for too long” she practically shouted and staggered over to you, not noticing your moment with Larissa. She wrapped around your waist and putting her whole weight on you causing her to slam into the wall and her pressed up against you.

Larissa’s eyes widened “I should leave you to it then. let you resume your date” not noticing you reaching out to her and a uneasy look on your face.

“I almost thought you ran off on me” Regina purred into your ear, the smell of strong alcohol on her breath making you cringe.

“I.. uh..” mumbling trying to string a sentence together from feeling so uncomfortable.

Regina’s hands moved to your hips and you gasped. She lay a kiss on your neck and you pushed her off “I’m sorry I can’t do this”

You ran out of the bathroom only to have Regina follow you out and grabbing your wrist to turn you around to face her and pull you into a kiss.

You squeaked and tried to push her away again but her grip on your waist was tight. You began to panic a bit and prayed for someone to come to rescue you.

“I thought we had something blossoming” Regina purred “No! Your drunk and I’m sorry this isn’t going to work”

You closed your eyes as she leaned in again and a tear rolled down your cheek. Suddenly you felt cold air between you as you felt yourself pulled back and colliding with something warm again.

Opening your eyes to see Larissa holding you close and Regina stumbling back. “Hey what’s your deal!”

“she said no” Larissa growled, you had never seen her so angry, you felt so safe in her embrace and moved to hide behind her. Her arm making sure you stayed close.

“oh come on! Y/n you were having fun right!?” You shook your head and tucked your head away into Larissa like a child hiding behind their mother.

“I think its time for you to leave” Larissa stepped forward looking for intimidating by the second.

“screw this I’m out” Regina grabbed her bag and coat and marched out the door of the bar.

Larissa turned to you and you wrapped your arms around her in a hug. The tears flowed and she wrapped her arms around you, running a hand over your head in soothing motions.

“let’s get you home” Larissa led you to grab both your belonging. Making sure you wrapped up so you wouldn’t get too cold with the night air.

The taxi back was quiet, you stayed curled up in her arms, it was the only way you felt remotely safe. Larissa had no complaints she soothed you and lead you back to your room.

Stopping at the door when you entered, you turned to her “thank you for helping earlier”

“It’s perfectly ok, I couldn’t stand by while you were being treated like that” she shuffled awkwardly and you took her hand.

“can.. can you...” you took a breath in “can you not leave me alone tonight” Larissa smiled at you and nodded.

Leading her into the room you both started to get ready for bed and giving Larissa some spare pj’s.

Not one of you spoke a word, crawling into bed. Facing each other Larissa pushed a curl out from your face making you smile.

“Thank you for staying with me” you whispered

“happy to be here for you” she said smiling to try and bring you some positivity.

Her hand rested against your cheek “can I say something”

“anything” blushing at her touches, it felt so different with her, every touch was soft and caring not rough and hungry.

“I want to let you know I regret rejecting you, seeing you tonight made me realise that” she let out a shaky breath “I don’t want to see you with someone else, not when I can’t treat you like the goddess you are”

You pulled her in for a hug, she left you speechless. “will you go on a date with me?”

It was your turn to accept or reject her and all you could do was nod as you hid your face in her neck.

She couldn’t help but giggle at you being so shy and wrapped her arms around you laying a soft kiss to the top of your head.

“goodnight darling” you drifted off to sleep in her arms, it was the safest you had ever felt and now you knew she liked you back. Everything felt right again, you didn’t feel like a robot hiding your emotions you felt happy.