#Expect more of my unwanted thought tho

[l-in-the-light]

Trafalgar Law: fear of closeness and touch part 2, the extended edition

Writing another post about it, because I have a lot of thoughts I need to organize for myself. This time it will be more like my interpretation about Law and his relationships with people than about the touch itself. And also I forgot one of the most crucial scenes about the topic (because ofc I would forget something so important), so I will start with it:

The last touch he remembers from Flevance is hiding under the pile of corpses, cold dehumanized bodies, treated like trash. No one wanted to touch them, just like no one wanted to be touched by Law. How poetic that Law escaped Flevance with a death sentence while hiding among the dead, because he will be treated like he's dead to the world from now on.

This reminds me of a manga I once read, Shigeshoushi (The Embalmer). It's about a guy whose job is embalming the dead, and he is ostracized, feared and refused by people as a result. Contact with death and dead bodies is taboo in Shinto and folk culture of Japan in general. If you think it's a thing of the past, I reccommend to watch Okuribito (Departures), it's really good and this topic is at the heart of the movie.

Anyway, back to the manga, warning for spoilers. Situation escalates to the point when the only human touch the guy can get is that of him handling the corpses for his job and that really messes up with his mental health. His despair leads him to engage himself in risky situations just to get by, casual sexual encounters with strangers become the only form of intimacy he can get and he soon gets addicted to it, but it still lacks the emotional warmth and love he desperately craves, so it's never enough for him. Of course to even get those encounters he has to lie about his job and whenever his lie gets exposed and he is confronted about it, forced to listen to all those women blaming him, feeling disgusted by what he forced on them (it was never forced, but suddenly it's unwanted after they learn he embalms dead bodies every day), and it just triggers and deepens his trauma.

I wonder if you can tell where I'm going with this comparison. Law is definitely as starved for touch and love as the main protagonist is. Still, I don't believe Law would become hypersexual (tho that's just my personal impression, especially after he so blatantly refused Monett), but most importantly unlike the main character Law would definitely not desperately beg for the touch. It's just not how Law is, he doesn't like to impose himself on others if he absolutely doesn't have to. Not to mention he can't bear asking openly for help or for anything really, not after the Vergo incident. It was the last time he ever begged for something.

Law seems to be the type to neglect his own needs to the point that he makes stupid and reckless decisions based on his fear of losing people (callback to Wano and imprisoned Hearts). When people dear to him are in danger, his first instinct is to rush and help them unless he's completely immobilized. That's the level of "prioritizing other people's safety and needs" he believes in, he would do it every time, but he hates when people do it for him. Mostly because he deeply believes Corazon got hurt because of him, and Corazon gave him all that love Law was starving for. And Law believes Cora-san finally died for it.

Add his trauma of expecting people to not want to be touched by him into the equation. That's why he has problems expressing his own need for love (and touch) from that point onward. He acts so tough, doesn't allow himself to show weakness and will definitely never ask for love, he learned his lesson on that.

But what about Heart Pirates? They love him! He clearly protects and deeply cares for them, but in each scene he is with them, not counting Bepo, he keeps them at a distance. I do believe Law treats his crew more or less on equal terms, he favours freedom after all, but their relationship is restricted by his fear and makes it significantly more asymmetrical than the one Luffy has with his crew. I do think Penguin and Shachi are more important to Law than the rest of his crew, they're best friends, they've formed the Heart Pirates together, but he doesn't allow them to be on touchy feely basis with him. That's reserved for Bepo. Bepo is basically the last safe haven Law allowed himself to have up until Strawhats happened.

Law at Sabaody creates three new bonds with people: with two supernovas and Jean Bart. The latter he takes into his crew and I believe it's because Jean Bart has no other place to go, especially with Marines and Pacifistas running around the island. It's possible Law does it all the time and his crew (beyond the original four) got expanded because of that.

Law's bond with Kid started on a wrong foot, not only Kid judges Law based on prejudice and "bad rep" flying around about him, he also accussed him of lack of manners (triggering a flashback to Vergo), all in Law's hearing range. It's not really surprising later on Law doesn't want to owe Kid a favour by letting Kid take care of the Marines. Law clearly doesn't want to be indebted to someone who feels disgust towards him (I don't think Kid is disgusted by him, but that's what Law thinks at this point). And even after Wano it seems Law made sure that they're even, none is indebted to the other. For Law it was just a temporary alliance, he kept his distance, they didn't end up becoming friends.

Last new bond Law created was with Luffy. It started indirectly at first, Luffy was defending his fishman friend. Things said about Hatchan triggered a trauma response in Law ("Don't come closer! Disgusting! He will spread diseases!"), in my headcanon freezing him in the spot. But Luffy defended his friend and indirectly also Law by punching the Celestial Dragon, in similar fashion to Corazon defending Law by punching the doctors spouting similar prejudice about amber lead syndrome.

Law thanked Luffy for that and he felt safe doing so, after all what Luffy did was never directed at Law himself, but the gratitude must have confused Luffy to no end (Why is that guy thanking me? I didn't do anything for him!). Law didn't mind this bond at this moment exactly because it was so indirect, as a result he allowed himself to interact with Luffy and even took the first step, probably thinking it will lead to nothing. But he would never do it if not for Luffy's indirect impact on Law. If that's the expected level for casual bonds Law has set up, I doubt many occassions appeared for that before. It just shows he avoids people as a general rule, period.

But things changed after they left the auction house. Law is displeased with Kid, only telling him not to order him around and refusing to even talk with him, but his dynamic with Luffy is completely different, he doesn't feel bad about it despite being treated like accomplice in the whole Celestial Dragon incident.

He even allows himself to tease him a bit. There's no bad air between them. It almost feels like Law feels more emotionally available despite them being strangers, or rather exactly because they're strangers here and Law thinks they will also leave as strangers, which gives him the freedom to be more open.

They fought together, mostly by accident, but for Luffy that's enough to already feel a bit attached to Kid and Law. He declares he's after One Piece, implying from now on they will be rivals.

That doesn't earn him any response from Law. In fact, he just smirks and retreats without a word.

There are multiple possible reasons for his reaction here, but one of them is important right now: if Law said anything, he would acknowledge that bond, that of being a rival to Luffy. He didn't want it, in fact he wanted them to remain strangers, with no lingering attachments. That's why, when he got offered Luffy's friendship (disguised as rivalship, mind you), he turns back and retreats.

That's his answer. Later in Amazon Lily he also ends up retreating without even waiting for Luffy to say his thanks.

And how ironic that the next time they see each other it's Law who ends up extending his hand, not once, but twice: first by saving Luffy's life by risking his own, and second time by proposing alliance. I can only imagine Luffy's surprise: he got rejected before, but now it's Law himself proposing it! And what a funny guy he is, he doesn't need to offer friendship, because for Luffy they're already friends, after all didn't Law save his life? Law though just needed help, but wouldn't ask for it directly, because we know he never does that anymore, so instead he offered a bait. Frankly he didn't need to, Luffy would do anything he wanted him to anyway. Luffy ofc thought the alliance is a fun idea, but in the end he accepted it because it's Law who needed it to be an alliance, he wouldn't accept help otherwise. Also alliance felt impersonal and safe, without the need to be emotionally open.

There's so many seperate frames of Law just staring and thinking upon their reunion. He's conflicted. Also at this point their relationship changed, whether Law wanted it or not. He was there when Luffy lost Ace, saw him breaking down, definitely thought they now share something in common: they both lost people who were the dearest to them. I'm also sure he could see through Luffy's smile, he knew there's no way he would be already "okay" after just two years.

Unusual whimsical frame of Luffy. He closed his eyes, not listening to the words spoken, but instead listening to his own heart. He knows he needs to kidnap Caesar, that's what Law asked him to do, but Luffy doesn't just want to do what he's told, he wants to make sure the person he is doing it for is happy. It's a callback to Luffy's deepest regret: leaving Sabo with his family, assuming things would be better this way, without making sure first if that's something that would make Sabo actually happy.

Ever since Luffy does this double-check-for-no-regrets for all of his friends and crewmates. He follows Nami to Arlong Park and waits patiently in case she actually needs help. She questions Kyros' choice and goes to all the way to Rebecca to the castle just to ask her if she's really fine with staying seperated from her dad. And he does it here as well. Would kidnapping Caesar make Law actually happy, Luffy wonders. And probably thinks back to their previous encounter, in Sabaody, and Law's mysterious line after Luffy punched the Celestial Dragon: "Thanks Strawhat, you showed me something interesting". And Luffy found his answer and it's this:

Punching Caesar. Apparently Luffy did something right in Sabaody and he thinks it was about the punching, so he does it again now as well. Ofc he wants to punch Caesar anyway, but he does pause before doing that, he actually doesn't jump for it straightaway, it's AFTER he thinks about it. Luffy decided this is what would make Law actually happy, despite going against the plan. Luffy didn't believe following Law's plan will actually make Law happy, but punching his enemies will.

And yet Law doesn't look happy, but let's look more closely to his body languague. He turns around, doesn't declare his unhappiness directly to Luffy's face, he's making an emotional retreat again despite shouting. He's giving mixed signals. So was Luffy wrong?

Law is trying to hide his smile. Making sure no one notices. He's trying to maintain the distance and remain cold, but seems it's working less and less efficiently.

I will let you decide it for yourselves whether Luffy was right or wrong in the end.

There is more nuance about this I didn't even touch yet, for example the drastic gap between Marines fearing Law and calling him a monster, and Stawhats (minus Luffy), at first fearful and suspicious of Law, but it took them like 5 minutes to change their mind and trust him just like Luffy did.

In Dressrosa Law declares that, deep in his heart, he actually also wants to kick Doflamingo's butt. Luffy doesn't even act surprised upon hearing that. Of course, he knew already, Law didn't even have to say it.

While in Dressrosa Law attempts to break the alliance, send off half the Strawhats to safety and despite barely being able to move himself he takes care of Luffy in the final countdown. Almost like he already treats them like his own crew, keeping them safe. If you ask me, someone got attached. And the pinnacle of it is when Law shares with us that he aims to either live or die with Luffy (not die for him, unlike Luffy's own crew declaring in this arc). That's the best he could offer and he knows how much it's painful when someone dies *for you*, he wouldn't inflict that pain on Luffy again, not when he knows Luffy thinks of him as a friend.

And finally in Wano Law finally opens up more and lashes out at Strawhats, just like he did at Corazon. He no longer feels the need to emotionally distance himself all the time, or keeping it all bottled up behind a stoic cold facade and impersonal "alliance". That's how he shows his worry and affection, he considers them his responsibility in Wano.

He also admits for the very first time his fear of losing people. "The plan isn't worth anyone dying" (in this case - Zoro dying). He allows himself to trust and to be vulnerable.

If you think Law is torn about his growing connection with Strawhats, then you're thinking the same as me. He allowed himself to get attached and he didn't want to initially.

Is it really alright if I touch you too…? (ready to retreat his hand at any moment he senses it's unwanted after all)

His words are often rough and cold, but his actions speak for themselves. He trusts the Strawhats by this point, they're his second crew, and he would do the same for them he would do for his Hearts.

And now he has a problem, he gained more people he is afraid of losing. New friends.

[merchelsea]

private support- george russell

pairing: george russell x fem! model! reader

summary: you are constantly fighting george’s haters on interviews and socials, but when you need him to do the same, he doesn’t.

author’s note: my first time writing angst, please give me some tips to improve!! and i’m actually taking requests now, so if you have any, let me know!

word count: 2k+ (not counted properly)

warnings: angst, fighting, miscommunication, racism accusations, silence treatment, confused reader.

your mind snapped back to reality as your hairstylist, who also happened to be your best friend, playfully snapped her fingers in front of your face.

"what are you thinking about?" she asked, her voice filled with curiosity and concern as she stood before you, demanding an answer.

"nothing," you quickly shot back, though the truth was quite the opposite. you had been mulling over everything that had transpired in the past week.

a false accusation of racism had been circulating on the internet, and it had been so well-constructed that people started believing you were capable of such a thing.

it was frustrating that almost no one believed you, but it was even more frustrating that you couldn't deny it. this whole scandal had brought up an unwanted spotlight, and you were obligated to follow a contract, which meant that, if they were to push you under the bus because they'd benefit from it, they could. and that is exactly what they did.

you felt anger and disappointment toward those you worked with daily, as you never thought they would betray you in such a way. in response, you had pulled all available strings and taken legal action to clear your name. while you had managed to set the record straight publicly through the legal process, it did little to ease the weight on your mind.

"that’s bullshit, you have been watching that tiktok for 15 minutes." your friend quipped, redirecting your attention to your phone, which had been playing the same vogue advertisement repeatedly. "so, what's on your mind?"

you sighed, contemplating the flood of thoughts but reluctant to discuss them. "a lot of stuff, but I really don't want to talk about it." your friend took a deep breath and reluctantly accepted your reluctance. "fine," she conceded. as much as she could try to hide it, you knew her, and realized she wasn't happy about it. "don't get mad."

"I’m not mad. I just don’t understand why you never talk with me about this stuff." you furrowed your brows as she moved to hold your hair from behind, starting to curl it again. "I mean, I’m supposed to be your best friend, you should be able to talk with me."

"it's about george," you exhaled as she began working on your hair, curling it once more. "what did he do?" she asked, her curiosity piqued. "you guys never fight."

"he didn’t do anything, that’s the problem." you explained, feeling the heat of anger dissipate. the woman behind you turned your chair to face her, and you knew it was time to open up about it.

"what happened, babe?" she asked, pulling over a bench and sitting down. it was clear that she recognized the importance of the conversation.

you silently wondered about what to say for minutes, because even tho it was something really clear in your mind, you had no idea of how to put it into words.

she grew impatient in front of you, drumming her fingers in the bench she was sat in, waiting for you to break.

"he still hasn't said anything about this. he talked to me, told me he knew I could never do such a thing," you began, picking up a makeup pencil to occupy your hands. "but people asked him in interviews, and he didn't even deny it. he would just say hat he wouldn't comment on it."

You felt a mix of emotions, ranging from sadness to disappointment. You had always defended George in similar situations, in interviews, instagram stories, fighting people on twitter. in every way you could.

unintentionally, you expected him to do the same for you when the time came. but it came and he didn't. you couldn't really blame him because you never even talked to him about it, he had no way of knowing, but you did, you blamed him.

you blamed him and you felt awful for that. it was all an endless circle of guilt and shame that you were trying to run of. confused, stressed, attacked. how could someone be fine while feeling all of that?

questions lingered in your brain as your best friend talked to you, trying to help you in the better way she could. besides all of the mess, she was the one thing you were sure off, she was your rock, stabling you through the storm.

posting that video and coming clean about the situation had been a good step, but it hadn't eased the stabbing pain in your chest.

coming home to him was harder than ever. you had ignored his calls and every single one of his attempts to contact you. it was childish of you, and you were aware, but you just couldn't help it.

anyways, things had to be said.

as you entered the room, you found george lying on the couch in his mercedes shirt. he smiled when he saw you, relieved that you had come. he thought you wouldn't come, that caused by the three days left on read and the 14 missed calls.

seeing you was a relief for him. he immediately got up and walked to you, but you denied his attempt to touch your face. the smile on his face disappeared as fast as it came on.

"hey, what happened?" he attempted to caress your cheek, but you pulled away his arm. "what did I do?" his confused and saddened gaze filled you with regret and you realized what you were doing.

you weren't being fair.

"I'm sorry. I just—" you began, stepping back. his reaction made you realize that you needed to communicate openly. "I need to talk to you," you said, and george nodded, ready to listen. he looked genuinely terrified as you refused his touch, not understanding what he had done wrong.

"okay... hm. lets sit down." he suggested, trying to make it as comfortable as he could for you.

you both moved to the couch, sitting on opposite ends. george looked you in the eye, waiting for you to speak.

"so, you know about that racism accusation, right?"george nodded, not daring to speak. "I'm kind of upset about it."

"well that's understandable, yo-"

"george," you interrupted, wanting to clarify your point. "I'm not really worried about the accusation itself right now. you haven't said anything about it yet." the brit furrowed his brows.

"what? I told you exactly what I thought that same night. you could never do such thing and I know that very well." you sighed, annoyed again. it was difficult to try and see things from his perspective, but the truth is that you weren't explaining him things clearly.

"that's not what I mean. you've talked about it with me, but you never did on public. you never said that 'i could never do such thing' to anyone else." his eyes fall on you again, softened this time.

"oh." it lingers in the air for quite some time as he gets ahold of his thoughts and you grow inpatient. "I'm sorry about that. I never thought you wanted to." some other words danced on the tip of his tongue. he contained himself, but he could've easily ended this argument.

"you never thought? how's that?" you offendedly ask. how could you not want your boyfriend to have your back?

"well, once you told me you didn't like the thought of being seen as dependent of me. that you wanted to be seen as an independent and strong woman. I respected, and still respect that." you recalled saying this after a long night in monaco. deep conversations had become a regular occurrence between you two after his race weekends.

"it's not about depending on you; it's about you supporting me," you raised your voice, making it clear how upset you were. "I always do that for you, and it doesn't mean anything."

"yeah, because the media and society are twisted as fuck, and we both know that," george said, turning his body towards you, now more open to discussing the issue. "tell me that if it were me in your position, you wouldn't be labeled as a woman who needs her boyfriend to protect her. do you have any idea of how you would be talked about?"

you hated it when he was right, but he was right now. however, he seemed to miss your perspective on all of this.

"I wouldn't care. I would know you were by my side and I wouldn't care."

"your such a bad liar. you would care. you would and you will because I gave an interview like two days ago, talking about it." he sighs. "because even though I knew it wasn't what you would've wanted, I could not keep quite while you were going through all of that."

silence fills the room as you both just stare at each other. how could have you missed this? okay, you had been avoiding anything george related for the past days, but you would know. wouldn't you?

"of course that, I could've told you if you just picked up your damn phone." george got up and left for your bedroom before you had a chance to react. but he did exactly what you needed—he gave you some time to think, to process, and to feel guilty for treating him poorly when all he had done was thinking of you.

you took out your phone and searched his name on twitter. the first thing coming up being exactly what you were looking for.

"it's unacceptable. it's actually unacceptable that someone can do this and live their life in peace. that person screwed her over — her name, her work, everything she represents. yeah, no, I can not deal with this shit. I mean, she is the most admirable person in this earth and people who can't deal with other's happiness just keep trying to mess that up. they wont succeed, though. she is incredible enough to not let that happen." "george, does it bother you that it was a fan of yours who came up with this?" "fan? sorry but that can't be called a fan. that is just a jerk who tried to ruin someone's life. does it bother me that is the love of my life being attacked? a lot. it drives me crazy. as I said before, I can't deal with this. I honestly think it would be easier if I was the one being attacked. I just can't understand why someone would do this to her. she always does what's best for others, she supports everyone, is always out there in the world fighting other's fights and this is how she is payed? it's not fair, it's just not fair." "i have only one more question for you. why did it take you so long to speak about this? even your teammate, lewis hamilton, talked about this the day it came out, and you're only just now coming clean." "well obviously I wanted to talk about this from the moment I saw it. it took a lot of me to not start a war right there. but we all know how fucked up the world is and how she would've been talked about if I came straight to interviews. she probably will even get a few comments about me but I couldn't keep it in. if she is not allowed to speak, I'll speak for her. that's how we work. we love each other and we support each other." "uh, i'm sorry george. not allowed?" "thank you for having me."

his face displayed anger, and he seemed more than ready to start a war. you couldn't help but smile throughout the whole video, feeling grateful for the man you had by your side.

and then it hit you—you had been treating him horribly when he didn't deserve it. in fact, he deserved the opposite. so, you got up and went to apologize.

opening the bedroom door, you saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, facing the door. he had been waiting for you.

"I'm sorry," you said as you moved closer. he pulled you close by the waist, hugging your body, and you caressed his hair.

" you need to talk to me," he murmured against your belly.

"I know, baby. I'm sorry," you said, taking his head in your hands and forcing him to look up at you. "I promise you that from now on, we'll discuss everything. I love you so much."

"I love you too. you know that, right?" you nodded your head with a big smile. if this had shown you something, was that he loved you.

"I know, and I'm sorry for cutting you off when things went bad. that was really shitty of me." you looked up, admitting your mistakes.

"never do that again, I got so afraid. I thought I had lost you."

"I'll never do it again. I promise." you stuck out your pinky and he took it. sealing the promise with a kiss on your enlaced fingers.

[lqveharrington]

Hidden Hatred | V.

summary: You’re a new Overlord and meet Vox for the first time. Who knew what that first interaction would do for the both of you down the line.

pairing: Vox x witch Overlord!reader

includes: name calling, mentions of murder, technically enemies to lovers, Vox being whipped by you, jealously, suggestiveness, teasing, fluff, angst if you squint, (let me know if i missed any!)

a/n: 1st request for Vox done! Also, tell me why I love giving them powers like wanda? it’s so cool tho

When you became an Overlord, you quickly recognized all the other Overlords at meetings, matching their personality to name. For example, Alastor’s voice effects gave the illusion of a radio, hence Radio Demon. Or Carmilla and her pointe shoes made of angelic steel. However, there were some Overlords who never attended the meetings, sending in one of the associates in place. The Vees being the only Overlords to do so, typically sending the youngest to attend the meetings. In doing this, you never met the others, refusing to associate online presence with their real self.

So when Vox came in place for Velvette for one of the Overlord meetings, you were slightly confused.

“Vox, how lovely for you to join us this afternoon.” Carmilla gestured toward the Television Demon across the table, her stare sharp when he tapped away on his phone.

“Uh-huh, can we make this quick? I have a company to run.” He threw her a bored look and scanned the rest of the room, noticing a new face. “Who the hell is this bitch?”

Your face jumps in surprise at his words before giving him a small smile. “It’s—“

“You know what? I don’t give a shit.” Vox glanced back at his phone. “Please, continue Carmilla.”

You huff, conjuring up red wisps from your fingertips to mess with while the meeting continues. You thought dealing with Velvette when you first met was a pain, but Vox was ten times worse than she was, and you just met! He seemed interesting, and you never expected a demon Overlord to have a television for a head, but his disinterest in you put you in a sour mood. You genuinely wanted to understand how he was an Overlord, but it seemed impossible with his nature.

“Now dear, let’s not think of murderous thoughts.” Alastor hummed in your direction when he saw you send a death glare toward the Television Demon as you left the meeting room, to which you only received an eye roll back. “Only I can have an enemy like him.”

“Al, during our short break he told me to fuck off and shoved his finger in my face!” You seeth as your eyes glow red with more wisps emitting from your fingers. “I’m going to murder him.”

Alastor caught your arm, “You will not do such things to an Overlord. If he appears at the next meeting and continues to act rude toward one of our gracious ladies, please tell me.”

“Of course, Al.” You snap your fingers, creating a portal to your Overlord territory. “I’ll see you in a month.”

Although you weren’t going to see all the Overlords in one place for a month, that didn’t mean a certain Television Demon consumed your thoughts because of your behavior toward one another during one meeting. It seemed as if every piece of technology reminded you of him, causing some unwanted thoughts to form during wanting times.

Much like you, Vox’s thoughts were filled to the brim of you. How has he never met you? How has Velvette never mentioned a new Overlord in Pentagram City? Oh, he wanted to know more about you. It was only a matter of time before he realized he was entirely whipped by your presence.

“What’s up your ass?” Velvette stepped inside the elevator with Vox as he messed with his suit for the nth time. She already had a suspicion something was up when he decided to tag along for the meeting, but he was acting nervous for a group of people he disrespected. How the fuck does that even work? “Vox.”

“What?” He whipped his head over to his shorter associate as the elevator door dinged.

She gave him an unimpressed look, “What’s going on in your system? You look like you’re going to reboot any second now.”

“Do I?” He reached up to touch his screen, pulling out his phone for vitals.

Velvette furrowed her brows at his reaction when they walked into the meeting room, a couple of other Overlords mingling amongst themselves. “Okay, what’s the fucking problem? Is there someone you—“

“Vox and Velvette.” Carmilla took her slow strides into the room, quickly diminishing the added noise. “To what do we owe the pleasure of two out of the three Vees?”

“This fuck wanted to join me for no reason.” Velvette jabbed her thumb in Vox’s direction, earning a snort from you. All heads turned as you covered your mouth, letting a quick apology fall from your lips.

Carmilla raised a brow, “Thank you… We’ll start off with the…”

Her voice soon became white noise to Vox as he took his seat, glancing up at you every few seconds. God, he hated the way you would quietly speak with Alastor or how you made eye contact with him just to break it with a glare. He hated the way you always dressed to your heart's content and how you failed to respond to Carmilla when asked a question. He hated how he failed to actually hate you.

“Vox, you’re wrecking Carmilla’s table,” Velvette murmured in his direction as Vox’s claws dug deeper into the table’s top.

He looked down at the table, pulling his claws out. He was too focused on your quiet laughter with Alastor to notice the damage. As your quiet laughter subsided, you made eye contact with Vox again before glancing down at the claw marks, and raising a brow at the television.

‘It’s boring.’ Vox mouthed toward you.

You pursed your lips at him, not understanding the game he was playing. ‘Of course it is, it always is.’

Vox rolled his eyes in a joking manner, shooting his attention back to the Overlord in front of the table. You, on the other hand, shot a quizzical look toward him. Sure, your dead heart sped up a bit, and you felt your face warm, but it was only an exchange of two sentences. You felt the red wisps emit from your fingertips again from confusion, pulling at the soft fog created by the magic.

“My dear, what’s gotten you all out of sorts?” Alastor caught up with you when the meeting adjourned with a sharpened grin, noticing your encounter with the Television Demon.

“What do you mean?” You glance back at Vox who offered you a small smirk. Waving him off, you let a small smile slip through.

“That, my dear!” He squinted his eyes toward the television. “Don’t fraternize yourself with him, he’s involved in too much trouble.”

You tilt your head back to Alastor, “We’re in Hell, I can’t think of any reason why anyone would not be in trouble.”

“What I mean to say is don’t get too comfortable with that… thing. It’s not ideal.” His ears fell flat as you paid zero attention to him.

“I won’t. Plus, I’m sure he got bored and bothered the first person he saw. After all, he did tell me to fuck off during the last meeting.” You tuck your arms behind your back. “Don’t worry so much about me, Al. I can handle myself just fine.”

“I’m not worried about you, I’m worried about the man you’re associating yourself with.” He patted your head. “Until next time, my dear.”

You watch as he slips away with his shadows, rolling your eyes at his antics. It was highly unlikely that you would start a friendship with Vox, considering the people he lives with. Alastor had nothing to worry about, it was just a moment of boredom consuming the both of you.

At least, that’s what you told yourselves. Satan knows that the first interaction was uncalled for, but it wasn’t Vox’s fault. No, he blamed himself for the image he had to uphold and being struck by a new Overlord’s looks. But as time passed, along with meetings, the urge to see each other became stronger, resulting in meetings outside of the Carmine building.

Literally.

“Doll, you take way too long to get here.” Vox pulled you toward him by your hand, linking them together.

“Aw, I’m sorry. Were you too scared to be here all on your own? Too afraid there are no bodyguards to protect you?” You tease with a wide grin. You watch as he rolls his eyes at you, tugging you closer. You laugh while patting his chest, “I had to deal with an incompetent sinner. I know you wanted to spend more time together before the meeting.”

“You have to make it up to me now.” He smiled down at you, eyes filled with admiration.

You hum, your own eyes gleaming in such a lovesick look. “Like what, Mister Vox? How should I make it up to you?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” He tilted your head further up, the electricity over his hat reflecting his fast heartbeat. “What do you think?”

“I think…” You flit your gaze to his lips before moving them back up to meet his eyes. “I shouldn’t be in debt to you.”

“Is that so, doll?” He squints as he tightens his hold on you. “I think I’m deserving of something at least.”

“Mm, no.” You squeeze his hand. He gives you a playful look before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You grin before reciprocating, using your free hand to hold his shoulder. The both of you separate, eyes fluttering open with soft smiles. “Must you defy me, handsome?”

“Only when I want to.” He whispered against your lips as he pressed more kisses on your lips. You giggle as you let your red wisps emit from your fingers, watching as your wisps pull him away from you. “Doll…”

“Mm?” You stay still as he continues to get pulled away by your powers.

“What are you doing?”

You flick your wrist, the wisps disappearing. “Nothing, you’re the one moving away from me.” Vox grabs at your waist, pulling you flush against him. You squeal as he peppers kisses across your face, “Vox, we could be seen.”

“Who’s going to come down this alleyway?” He left one last kiss on your lips, smiling as a fool would.

“The other Overlords who are going to attend the meeting.” You push his screen away as you catch the time on your watch. “I thought you didn’t want anyone to know?”

“Yeah, but they should know you’re taken.” He squeezed your waist.

“You want them to think we hate fuck each other?” You grab his wrists as they sway you around. “You know they still think we hate each other right?”

“Who said we don’t?” He bared his teeth to you, earning an eye roll. “You can’t tell me you don’t like it—“

“Shut up.” You sucker punch his shoulder. “The Tech Overlord dating the Witch Overlord? Never.”

“Never.” He linked your hands again, leaving a soft kiss on your knuckles. “I despise you.”

“Horrible thought.” You pull him along out of the alley, separating as soon as you see Alastor appear out of the shadows. You watched the Radio Demon send you a sharpened grin, which you returned with a small smile.

Although you kept your relationship a secret from the likes of sinners and Overlords, both the Technology Overlord and Witch Overlord knew what they were to each other, even if that meant it was kept hidden.

©lqveharrington - all rights reserved. do not copy, translate or share my work on other media platforms

[changbinsboobs]

Do you think any of skz has potentials of becoming yandere or like obsessed in general?!

Omg i can't believe what just happened Tumblr deleted my whole Chan reading i habe to do it all over again😭😭😭😭😭 and i don't have the cards anymore😭 i fucking hate it here😭

Who in Skz has a potential of becoming obsessed?

Chan - his reading was so long im so angry😭 what i said was basically how he has a lot of responsibilities and things to do that have way more weight and importance for him so there's not enough time or space in his mind to even begin obsessing iver other les simportants tuff. Even if he would he would quickly be taken out of it as more importants stuff already knocks on the door. Aside from that his job is actually a great outlet for him and despite him being very perfectionistic and a workaholic which in itself is not healthy - this card still points out how music and creativity is what brings him pease and is a source of release for him so i kinda get him why he's so focused on work and drowns himself so much into it - because for him its not work its his peace, its his joy, his relief. So yeah not seeing any potential for becoming obsessed or yandere cuz he has an outlet to channel any unwanted emotions and he also has many other much important things to take him out if other spirals he might come into so he doesn't even get the chance to become obsessed.

Lee Know - for him im not getting that either. He also has better things to do. He knows bery well what brings him joy and how to put himself back on track and regulate his emotions to stabilize himself. I don't see anything going out of control, spiraling, or whatever. Also if he were to be rejected, instead of going after that thing/person even more, hold grudges etc - he's more someone that stays in the shadows, takes it like a champ, cries on his own, oats himself on the back and continues on, maybe with some hurt inside him still but he goes on not really looking like it affected him. And soon the hurt gets relieved too, instead of it he fills himself with good things and soon the hurt is forgotten. In short - he accepts his fate and moves on. Not seeing anything about dangerous obsession.

Changbin - not seeing anything like that with him either. Spoiler alert - not seeing that with any of the guys actually. But for changbins case he does ponder on things more, probably takes much longer for him to swallow rejection, or abandonment or similar. He does think of it a lot, may even get gloomy or depressed for a little while. If we're talking about obsession in terms of not being able to get something out of your head then yeah he shows that definitely. But nothing that exceeds the mind and turns into action, also nothing harmful or dangerous in any way. He just thinks about what ifs and analyzing what went down, why it happened like that, etc. He always finds himself at the end tho, and finds peace and stability within himself and finds love and joy around him, often hurts like that fueling him even further for life, making him feel even stronger and more determent to be even bigger and even better.

Hyunjin - not seeing that with hyunjin either. Im seeing childish wonder and disappointment next to each other. I believe this means his naivety and readiness to jump into things and love fast and easily is often a source of depletion and disappointment for him. Either he becomes disappointed cuz whatever he liked isn't actually the way he thought and his expectations aren't met, or whatever attachment he felt wasn't reciprocated. For that im seeing victim complex and visciousness in terms of coping so instead of becoming obsessed and dangerous he rather becomes bitter and maybe even a bit hateful for a period of time towards that person or situation, being sharp and merciless with his words, holding tight onto the feeling that he was wronged and betrayed, being a victim of someone heartless that now deserves to bear the heaviness of his disappointment and wrath. Despite that not sounding very not-obsessive, the energy here doesn't seem really dangerous or malicious. Its more annoying that dangerous (if you're on the receiving end).

Han - here is the only...concern i had. The energy isn't very heavy, theres not any...dangerous action per say...but this is the only pile where i feel malisciousness in any way. Where theres potential that it COULD get to an extreme. Thats the only pile that gows beyond the mind or beyond words and im actually seeing readiness for action. This tho touches more on anger rather on anything and as for the most the heavy emphasis was on romantic relationships, here im not seeing that at all. Im seeing him wanting revenge on people that have disrespected, wronged, ridiculed him etc. he wants them to pay the price for their wrongdoings and is ready to take it in his own hands or leave someone else taking care of it for him. Now if thats something he just wants to do in a moment of anger or if he really has potential to take revenge in his own hands is unclear and i think ill leave it like that. Going back to the initial question - this doesn't give yandere vibes, maybe not even obsession - it just gives innability to regulate anger properly (honestly i feel u buddy) and maybe even overreacting with his anger in that sometimes its something small t he gets a huge tantrum and is ready to fight and its reslly inappropriate. Or something happens in 2022 and for some reason he failed getting angry back then so he carries his anger all this this time and suddenly this issue gets brought up again in a completely normal manner and "out of nowhere" he bursts out in an angry outrage and throws a tantrum. Or is continuously viscious towards someone for no apparent reason because once 10 years ago that person made a comment about his new haircut that he didn't like and he felt vulnerable and he's been making that person pay for the last 10 years cuz it hurt him so much back then. - all of those were just made up examples to describe what i mean by paying back, holding on grudges etc.

Felix - No. Not at all. He takes it all like a champ and i see him looking for support and connection with the people around him and he balances himself out like that, im also seeing him having some sort of innate yin and yang balance in him, in the way that he has of both good and bath, in a perfect balance. Idk how to explain that energy as it is so unique but in short im not seeing bad intentions, obsessive dangerous tendencies or anything. He seems very connected to the divine and has an innate compass of wrong and right, can regulate himself pretty quickly IF the crowd he's surrounded with is good (which for now im seeing it is). And any rejection or hurt or whatever that happens - he takes like a champ.

Seungmin - not seeing that here either, although he's not really answering my question. He says he's graceful and a respectable gentleman (im seeing bridgerton men😂) He says he's a lover and theres no usw for him to act crazy or be maliscious. He's of good value and he can get himself somethign good with ease so theres no use waisting prescious time and energy, lowering himself beyond his own standards.

I.N - not seeing anything like that either. He seems very peaceful and stable despite what. He has a strong, secure and very stable inner core that can not be shaken easily. He has a very positive and uplifting attitude towards life and himself and chooses to see the positive rather than the negative. He actively chooses good and maintains and builds this beliefs and this huge fort he's standing on. Build with trust and smiles and laughter. Those are very very positive, good & stable cards idk what else to add i really don't see anything of that sort with him. Not even potential for that. Not even potential for thinking about it even i think doesn't understand that at all how some people can get themselves to a point where they act like that.

[coldresolve]

fun facts about the torture in moneymakers while were at it. spoilers if you're not caught up

the torture is not done in any attempt to gather reliable intel, induce compliance or as a punishment to deter unwanted behavior, none of which are things that torture can do. instead it is perpetrated for the sadistic gratification of the torturer, and for a profit incentive

except for that one time in pt34 when it was done to induce fear and make conrad's escape physically impossible, under the guise of teaching him a lesson. davin knew what he was doing

conrad complying with demands is always, always under duress. i wouldn't call that obedience, personally

you'll notice that conrad's fear of renee has turned into contempt and disgust, a subtle nod to the fact that torture victims dont typically build a whole lot of positive associations with their torturers

conrad gets more resistant over time, not less. but im sure thats just because he hasn't been beaten into submission yet

davin talks pretty openly about exploiting the media as a way to get attention in that one scene. not only a comment about the media's sensationalism of torture/violence, but also a hint to the fact that it can be exploited lol

theres not a whole lot of talk about sophisticated torture, in fact i think i even wrote a thing where renee admits that it doesnt require a whole lot of finesse to hit people. or maybe im just misremembering. its supposed to be in there tho

speaking of renee, i dont know if you noticed, but he isnt doing so well. could this have something to do with his actions? the world may never know

that part where renee thinks about the way we culturally view perpetrators... he comes to the wrong conclusion and you as a reader are not only expected to realize that on your own, but also think about what thought processes led him to be wrong. but also ive been throwing around ideas as to how i might add another perspective about it in the future so theres that

i have a whole tirade about the concept of being 'broken' coming up. spoilers ig

davin is doing just fine. davin is a machiavellian. davin, get this, also acts as an argument to the fact that the insidious parts of torture aren't in the people who act it out, but in the people who facilitate it. the people who act it out just tend to be useful idiots. sorry for the diss renee ily

anyway yeah so. that whole thing about davin building a strenuous trust with conrad in the beginning by seeming like the lesser of two evils was intentional

something about that darn profit incentive might be meaningful to the theme here but alas this falls beyond the comprehension of my feeble mind (aka spoilers lmao)

[royrockstone]

treat it as a prompt to spread your food motifs thoughts, would love to hear some (especially after finale)

ty for askinggg <333

4x10, as told through food:

Caribbean Air Clear was a big win for caroline ed truthers. caroline’s food stuff has always been a stand-in for her failure to parent— she is either resentful of having to, or unable to, nourish them; she gives food in paltry amounts because that’s how she parcels out affection. and the kids find what she does give them inedible. at the Peter Munion Pitch Dinner, she announces that the portions are going to be small, and the only thing that looks like palatable food in her kitchen (the cheese) is reserved for peter— a person she actually chose to put in her life and seems to be happy with.

in contrast to logan, who tested and punished them around food, i read caroline’s inability to nourish them as more unintentional— she just can’t do it because she feels so much bitterness about her family. i also think there’s gender stuff in there— she's not Womanly bc she can’t cook (or, more likely, have someone else cook) properly, she’s like if the wire mother didn’t even give milk. in some ways, she’s sort of girlish rather than womanly (expressing in chiantishire that she wants to like have fun and drink and fuck and gossip rather than settle into being an older woman who’s best days are behind her. and she gets along best with her girliest kid, roman.) it always makes me feel crazyinsane that the one moment In The Light that roman seems to have gotten is laughing with logan about caroline’s inability to feed them (“three muddy trout for six and fill up on mustard”) those kids had no chance to be fed emotionally or physically lol </3 

meal fit for a king! lets talk about it. it is, first of all and foremost, sweet! it’s a time when food is being used playfully and you’re expected to eat rather than expected to abstain. but theres also such a dark side to it imo, as with all affection for the roys. 1. shiv spits in the blender (in a mirror of when she spit in kens notebook in s3) which is meant to be at least a little bit degrading 2. the whole point is kind of degrading (the name sounds like something logan would do — see boar on the floor, dinner for winners and mole in the hole from the script books) make kendall eat something disgusting, not as a test per se, but as a way of humbling him just a little. food is still lowkey a weapon even when it’s sweet and silly. (also theres some kendall jesus motif— roman crowns him but in a way that’s mocking etc) 3. it’s sweet specifically because the foods are a) unwanted— the roy kids have been starved, of affection and literally of food, and they’re making something genuinely nice with scraps and b) not luxurious— it’s not ortolan or kendalls endive salad, it’s bread ends and cocoa powder. 

there was an interesting moment that mirrored my 4x08 food lore thoughts— ken offers roman rum punch when he’s still trying to woo his board vote against shiv, and roman ignores the punch, pours himself a shot, then grabs a beer. kendall is the one who locked him in a cage and made him eat cake, he’s the reason they had to eat roast chicken, roman experiences his brother as always trying to subordinate him by controlling what he consumes (which is obv a corollary to trying to control him in business.)

on the less thematic/more personally self-serving ed headcanon side of things, nothing has contradicted my hc that roman hasn’t eaten solid food since logan died. all he does is lick Peter’s Special Cheese, drink coffee (sleep deprivation won succession, actually), and drink alcohol. we see roman eat cake at connors rehearsal dinner, pre-logan death and during what he thought was a secure time in the sibling alliance, then never again. his habit of snacking on little bits of fruit and desserts has totally disappeared. tho it's not shown, i could see him eating the night of the election when he realized he won at something and was expecting to crush it at the funeral the next day. if hes becoming logan, hes allowed to eat. but the second he flames out at the funeral and realizes he is, in fact, still a dead man walking, he’d go back to not eating. trying to please the dad in his head, or to express his essential deadness/emptiness without his dad. 

ofc, we don't rlly see the other siblings eat, either (i have laser-focused Roman ED vision so something might have slipped past me. does shiv taste the breakfast tom brings her?) notably, no one ate at the Funeral Planning Committee breakfast, they don’t eat at the tailgate im p sure, i don’t think anyone touched the food at the Munion Pitch Dinner. (tbh concerned for shiv’s fetus re: having adequate calories.) i think part of it is grief and part of it is collective family Disorder and part of it is the good old competitive strong dog weak dog stuff.

i made a joke that roman is going to end up like caroline, but i kind of meant it? i can see him having no food in his house, cocktail in hand, snugly burying himself some place out of the way and fucking around with mild self-destruction for the rest of his life. (altho rather than a failhusband i think he’d try to replace logan yet again and end up with a partner who was pretty brutish or domineering) 

ty again!

[fictiondotbored]

Little longer drabble (based on my play through) for Astarion because. I need to get my writer's spirit up and going again and this pixelated man on my screen has me in a slight chokehold.. Started playing just a few days ago so not really far into his personality and all that but Asterion's little panic when we find that boar?? AHH

The tadpole's in everyone's brains are doing hell knows what but they can't be good, so when Tav decides to make camp already again?? Just a couple days into their venture most companions are a bit annoyed. Their priority should be to get going and of course sleep is needed to heal, they *get* that, frustatingly so, but it doesn't help the fact that they're seemingly wasting time. Now Astarion is also a bit fuzzy about making camp almost every night, like really? On the other hand tho he's relieved, he's hungry, famished even, and finally he has a chance to break from the group with no unwanted attention. It's been too little time for building trust with anyone, he's surprised to be travelling with the lot at all after pulling a knife on Tav when they'd first met, so sneaking off would only have risen their suspicions. He needed to be careful and camp was the perfect opportunity

It was fairly easy to just walk off without waking anyone, after fighting that hostile group in the chapel ruins everyone's beat and tired and just plain right exhausted; add some fugly undeads that had risen just to protect a useless cryp to the equationd and sure enough you've got a party in due time for a nap. So, off he goes, in the wee hours of the night, stalking whatever prey he can find in his limited time. It took him some running about, distancing himself from the party to hide his tracks, deeper into the forest, to finally find a fat boar unassuming and Astarion could not wait any longer so he pounced on his prey. It was a hasty ordeal, not at all satisfying but it would suffice, at least until they made camp again

A few days go by and to be honest Astarion had already forgotten about his evidence left in the middle of the woods but by the hells, when Tav leads them away from the Druid's camp at the Hollow and straight into the forest, Astarion can't do anything but hope that they'd not come across the boar's corpse. Luck of course this time around is not on his side and his annoyance spikes when Tav takes a quick look at the cadaver, like they do with every other dead fucking animal. He hears them mumble about it being strange that it's dead because "it looks healthy" but it's dead now. No health can help that. Of course he gets nervous about Tav prodding around, pondering and wondering and it's annoying him. Not really, actually he's a bit anxious to be found out so he tries to distract her by being a bit more snippy and sarcastic than needed be.

"The pig is dead my friend, staring at it won't bring it back. We'll never fix these brain worms if we stop and gawk at every piece of carrion you find."

Maybe it's because they're a druid, bound to nature and such, or maybe it was his mistake for getting a bit snarky at this particular boar... they just give him a glance before kneeling and inspecting the boar for wounds. The whole party's infested with mindflayer parasites happily munching away at their thoughts and Tav is concerned about a dead boar? For what. But it just seems to fit perfectly to them so he should have expected so. He watches them gawk at the stupid beast and then their gaze gets stuck on something. Shit. They actually noticed those two tiny puncture wounds? Honestly impressive, especially on a hairy boar. But shit still. He needs to know what they're thinking because fuck fuck fuck

"And is it dead enough for you?"

"These marks look strange. Do you recognise them?"

Ah shit. They ask it in such a manner too... With that undertone, as if accusing him of withholding information. As if they knew that he knew what happened. This is bad. Can't even lie, he is a bit panicking at this point. Mostly inwardly but it does slip out in the slightest stutter and the way his eyes involuntarily open up. He would love to think over his answer and calculate the risks of what informations he could bare to share, what knowledge he'd be wise to reveal and which to keep under wraps but he's kind of under a timely limit so there was no time to actually think, like hello? The other party members aren't paying that much attention thankfully, more interested in the noises and chatter from nearby but Tav does not stray her attention from him. So he sort of just blurts something out

"I-" he stutters. he reveals they're from a vampire. If he had a beating heart it surely would be loud enough for Tav to hear by now. He rambles on, offering to take the first watch, to protect them for the night but then he pushes them once more to get fucking going. After he's said his piece he shuts his mouth, anxious to know their reaction. Would they find him out? Did he give too much away?? Maybe they're a deceitful one and actually noticed him sneaking away nights ago. His mind is racing with miles and miles of scenarios. Ways she would kill him on the spot, accuse him of evading the location and his efforts to dismiss the cadaver, would she assume it was him or would she simply know already? What if that little tadpole rascal in their brains connected and she could read his mind?? So many thoughts and fears that have him stand frozen solid before her, trying to convince her he's nonchalant by forcibly relaxing his muscles. There is so little trust between them yet, surely Tav would kill him for finding out he's a Vampire. What was there to lose for them if he was dead? Truly dead..

The seconds seem to drag on for uncomfortably long eternity, yet all she does is stare at him for mere moments and then she too just turns away from him, gifting her attention to the voices coming from nearby.

Astarion's heart hadn't felt this active, this heavy with fear and anticipation for a long time and by the hells, he hoped it didn't happen again for another 200 years...

[thehistoriangirl]

All the Names of You

Hi! Sorry for not finish the Valentine’s Special quite yet. I wanted to take a break from writing too much (bc writing block) so I was reading... gothic stuff. So expect some updates from my Halloween/gothic fic soon. Hopefully this week will allow me to finish Mel’s, and maybe Viktor’s too, if I’m lucky enough. For now, I hope you enjoy this drabble I made for a friend :3

Viktor x gn!Reader**--------654-------SFW

Summary: All the pet names Viktor has for you, and how he comes up with them.

Tags: Established relationship| Very fluffly| **I put gn bc Reader has no pronouns but Viktor imagines having a family with them so idk (no mention of pregnancy tho)

Taglist: @local-mr-frog

Viktor is very creative—in many ways.

If being an inventor isn’t clue enough about his ingenuity, the endearment terms he thinks of calling you are solid proof of it.

You had to admit it was hard for him, in the beginning, to stop calling you by your first name—the first time Viktor called you "my love" got him blushing so hard you thought he'd had a fever.

But as always, the first time was the harder, and soon enough he’ll just appear at your shared apartment, with the clatter of the keys tossed over the little coffee table in the middle of the living room, his cane thumping steadily with each step he took toward the studio where Viktor knew he’d find you.

While you were scribbling down notes for your work, suddenly, a pair of familiar arms would be tangled around your torso, pulling you against a soft vest that smelled like burned oil and coffee.

Your little gasp always makes him chuckle, moving the hairs around your ears as he tells you the new name he thought on his way home.

One day it would be "my angel", because when he entered, Viktor saw you napping on the couch by the window, the golden sunlight of the afternoon bathing your figure and clothes in a splendorous halo.

Then, days after, he would pass next to the little lake behind the Academy grounds and would see a dove family, with the mother being followed by its babies, the image following him home, perfectly synchronized with the foreseeable future of his own family, with you.

You were back from a traveling business, and Viktor was there at the port, looking all handsome with his black coat enveloping his lithe frame, a childish smile appearing on his pensive face when he caught a glimpse of you descending from the airship.

“My darling,” he said in a gasp, embracing you so tightly you were sure he’d make you a part of him, keeping you safe in his heart. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Your favorite is "my sunflower", not for a logical reason—if there even could be one at all—but because the day he said that to you Viktor appeared with a little bouquet of such flowers he saw from a street vendor as he was walking back to the apartment.

“They reminded me of you, my sunflower,” he muttered, showering your face in light kisses as your hands got entangled in grasping the bouquet.

There are names created specifically for public situations when Viktor doesn’t want to embarrass you in front of your colleagues—like “my darling” or “my dear”.

For those galas when he looked at the other people watching you with a cold gaze, his hand keeping a light touch in your waist, or your hip, or the crook of your elbow.

"My dearest, would you like to dance?" he said in a voice loud enough for the unwanted company to hear, for your cheeks to grow red with a flush while you nodded, hands quickly taking his.

He loves you so much, one name couldn't express it enough. Perhaps a hundred—or a thousand would be more fitting if it is even possible to put into words the vivid, joyful kind of feeling it would bloom within his chest every time he sees you, every time he hears your voice, every time you touch him.

Viktor wanted to remind you every day of how special you make him feel.

Always changing, but all of them keeping the same essence of love, the one he's convinced, it's eternal.

But his favorite has to be "my love" because you are that for him. And your face, turning back from whatever you were doing just to greet him and beam at his loving call would always melt his heart.

And speaking of which; perhaps he should call you “my heart” today.

[llycaons]

came to the conclusion as I have several times before that I am simply not cut out for my job. I am bad at it, slow and a poor communicator and passive and easily overwhelmed. they said it would take about a year (from hiring? or from being on my own? either way) but whatever makes people slip into the flow and anticipate needs and Know The Supplies, maybe I would have gotten it had I gotten the normal training. maybe I wouldn't have. its easy to say 'oh I'm struggling because I'm in a unique situation' and maybe that's true, but I had trouble long before we got the Unique Training part, and then since the training was so different I had trouble with that, to the exasperation of my trainers and co-workers. and it really didn't feel good every day to know you're not living up the expectations and standards of the people around you, to know without a doubt they're all smarter and more adaptable and quicker-thinking than you.

I'm doing okay now since I'm one of the very few people on my unit and they desperately need me, and leadership is covering for my inadequacies by sending me to do easy stuff when I need to get floated, but like...there are team members who are extremely hostile to me and its for good reason! and it makes it worse to know THEY'RE not the ones in the wrong. maybe they could be nicer, but if I truly had confidence in myself, it wouldn't bother me so much.

but I don't know what to do. there is no other job I can do with these qualifications and skills, and no way to leave this city until late next year. and I need this income. I'm going to limp along until I can safely extract myself, but until then, we'll all have to bear it. and it's a terrible thing, to know you're a burden on your team and that you're only here because everyone else has quit. if I thought I would ever actually put someone in danger, I'd of course leave immediately. but I'm doing relatively straightforward cases with very qualified people all around me, and I know the basics to keep people safe at least

I find myself thinking about my strongest critic, who quit a few months ago, and how much my failure to adapt may have led to that decision. maybe it's self-centered; there were many issues far before I came along. and they haven't spoken to even their closest friend here in months, so I think they probably resent this place a lot and want to leave it all behind, and I don't blame them

things have gotten so much better recently because of those staff members quitting and my manager waking up to realize she has to actually support us, and I don't dread going to work anymore, even to float. tho we haven't been canceled in ages 😔 I don't know, I think the true issue is that I just need more predictability and stability in the things I do on a day to day basis. I learn slowly, and I have trouble remembering things. ideally I would find a job where we do a limited type of low-acuity cases every day but still....pays as well? I don't know, I don't know. give this another year then I'm sure everyone will be happy to see my back.

it's difficult to see yourself as incompetent, disliked, and unwanted in your job, and not have that bleed over into your personal feelings about yourself. it's really hard. I think of my failures and the anger, contempt, and aggression that came to me as a result, and it really makes me nervous. we're doing cases in another part of the hospital soon, with different people. it was such a mess last time! why was I so overwhelmed?

it's frustrating. I know I can do some of these cases - even difficult ones like livers and kidneys- and do them perfectly competently. I'm fine in any belly case. I even enjoyed neuro. I just freeze up when I don't have confidence. I don't know what to do all the time! and I need to be in a situation where I do. I don't know how much work I can even do on my end to Not Be Like This. studying didn't seem to help, and I can't study from the internet anyway since every place does things differently.

I've always thought I'd either leave here and then go back home, or stay exactly in place, but I could still stay a year and then just get another job in the same place.

I've always wanted to get higher certification, but knowing the people around me are way more competent without having that, it feels like a joke. a slap in the face. I dont have anything neat to wrap this up with it's just. I've always been so good at school and so proud of that even when I don't have much else to lean on. so this feels really bad. I should contact my EAP counselor today

[jujuliabautista]

Process of Letting you Go.

Letting go of a person you are still in love with are the hardest thing but you have to do. It would take a lot of courage and strength to let go. Pain would eat you fully, Ego and pride were hurt, you are buried of your own what ifs and whys. But then time would let you realize that holding on will hurt you more. The more you give and hold on, the more you lose yourself and unable to familiarize yourself. By keeping on hold, the more pain you felt on process and will suffocates you and will lead you of unwanted thoughts.

Growing up, i thought i could let go all the pain i was holding for years when i transferred. I did. but i never knew that it was just a temporary fix of my pain. This pain, it is more than a decade now but the memories are still there. The pain is still there.

7 years ago. we unexpectedly met on a sudden reunion. the nostalgia that i felt that night. i couldn't explain. you haven't change a thing. years have passed that time but you are still you. Said my hi's on old friends years after i transferred school. it was a good reunion indeed as iwas able to catch up with my old buddies and mates. But that night seeing you is so hard to explain. i'm not sure if you were atleast happy to see me or the opposite. im not sure. We were so awkward that it feels like we do not know each other. Aside that whats funny is that no one knows about us. As if the things about us vanished. That night i wished i have'nt gone on that reunion. reunion supposed to be celebration of reuniting with your old friends. but it wasn't fun for me. all the pain that i tried to forget for years came back that night. it was hard.

It took me 2 years to leave the place that hurts me so bad and took 2 more years for me to able to love someone else truly. but because of that night the pain came back that quick. all the memories came back.

i tried. i tried so hard not to entertain the thoughts i was having days after the reunion. months after that reunion. you suddenly messaged me through messenger as if we were a casual. Damn. i regret accepting that message and responding to that.

again. I tried. i tried being casual even though part of me says this might be a chance to talk the issues that we haven't resolved yet. i didn't expect to be honest. but days have passed and you consistently messaged me which brought me to the expectations of something else. the thoughts won't let me sleep each night. i've collected all the courage i had to ask you to talk things out but i guess there are some issues and thoughts better left unsaid. i never tried again but i ensure to make you feel that i still love you.

4 years since that day you messaged me again, is also a process of me losing myself. I felt so stupid everytime i think about those times. I tried even though i can see thru you that i wasn't an option already. that we are done the day i left you. You cried late night drunk and messed up but i listened even though it feels like im being stabbed million times.

Did you cry like that when we broke up? did you cry like that when i left so sudden without anyone knowledge? Did you ever cry like that for me?

Im so messed up within that 4 years. everyone around me tells me to stop doing that to myself already but i listened to no one. I tried all the best i could holding to that. 0001% chance that we might have this second chance. but who am i fckin kidding? on the first place, we do not stand the chance at all. we are a mistake after all.

it took me decades to realize this. almost 12 years of a process of letting you go. freeing myself on the pain that i felt. i wasn't able to forgive you yet but i wish you hapiness atleast. God. 12 years. thats too long.

Part of me says i wish we never met but also part of me says thank you for being my youth. you helped me grew up tho. i haven't fully healed but i hope i could say to myself that i already moved on. 12 years is already enough.

[whoaaaoaoo]

hey sorry for a probably unwanted additional theory reblog but hyperfixation brain took over, if it is then ignore me and if it’s really that bad you can ask me to take it down or smth idk 🤷‍♀️

ok soo I totally agree with you on the talking to ranboo part, I thought it intitally but haven’t seen anyone else really say it because it really just does make sense, especially with “you were perfect” BUT that could also mean the audience because they acted the way that was expected/were manipulated/chose die

but again that was also my initial thought so yay I haven’t lost that many marbles

what really adds to ur whole gen 1 -> other gens tho is that generation loss (in the technical term) means degrading of quality, but we can take it as essentially making versions but more fucked up each time because hey, it make more sense in this context. sooooo maybe gen 1 doesn’t nessicarily INSPIRE the founder, but it could be them trying to PERFECT his story(s?) through more progressively fucked up VERSIONS

the concept of the founder’s “my story” being gen 0 does have interesting implications tho bc it does kinda support gen 1 influences other gens, maybe as though it either influences all gens or it is post gen 1 and shows their like obsession or sm this part of my theory is kinda half baked ngl have to revisit this paragraph lmao

oh but the founder is DEF more deranged than gen 1 but that’s just a- [i get dragged away by the CIA]

Some lil thoughts on the new GenLoss videos as of recent

In the “From the desk of the founder video” code (thank you random deleted channel for the decoding), to me it’s pretty obvious the founder is talking to Ranboo. Talking about how he (Ranboo) was special and could be used for something more, which would be Generation 1

- The founder also talks about how Gen1 was one of his favorites in “Welcome to Gen 0” and considering how special he talking about someone being special in Gen1, we can assume it’s ranboo

I really think that what happened with Ranboo inspired the founder to create the other generations, as it was the first of many. He wanted to recreate a situation like what happened with Ranboo and make it perfect (What perfect means to the founder, I have no idea yet)

Whatever the case is, this founder dude sounds like he (?) has a sort of obsession with these generations and making them beautiful/perfect, which I’m guessing is gonna mean they’re just as messed up as Gen1

[castle-dominion]

c3x23 pretty dead

This is a nostalgia song for me but it was released in 2011 so it was modern at the time. Wow. W o w...

I only rly know anything abt anything bc of the movie dumpling when some fat girl & some punk feminist joined a beauty contest. This man looks like a pimp. Kind of is Nice yellow cumberbund thing Illinois? Being french is weird. I want to say illinwa but everyone else says illanoy She;s wearing interesting clothing. Wow short with your daddy. I mean we all need to get away from home! Hey! I love the emotional b plot, it's so good to see rick as a dad who loves his daughter & supports her instead of acting like the twelve year old who can score his teacher. Odds are, someone's dead.

It's not the baron is it? Beckett outfit update: Detective clothes. Double breasted trench coat looking thing tied with a fabric belt. Her shirt is sort of crazyquilted in blocks it has colours, more pink around the waist. It is a regular collared buttonup shirt. I think I've seen her in it before too, which is nice bc I like seeing continuity. Ryan outfit update: Green sweater, dress shirt, brown normal looking coat (still professional enough), I can't tell the pants or tie bc the lighting is weird. Update: it's a light purple-tinted shirt. He's aken off his jacket in the precinct & I can see it now. The shirt has really nice collars & it's actually stripy but so light u can hardly see it. Tie is green & patterned slightly, it's like diamonds but it's also because the grain of the weave changes I think, so the way the light reflects off of it makes some of them more shadowed than others. PERLMUTTER YESSS SP: Detective. Writer.

I should call my dad. I don't talk to him enough. Glad he said he didn't actually know the time, just vaguely a little before 11; tho he could have also checked. Baron called them both detectives lol I mean yeah fair to the victim first but at the same time she's dead she won't feel it. Yeah lol I love how they're filming BTS & it might actually be a good idea to keep em on Come again! Oh no wait we don't want that. She's so silly I love her.

In the elevator scene the button for floor 4 is lit. (for floor four lol.) Homicide is on the 4th floor.

Beckett was indeed a model but not a beauty queen.

I like the one cop getting a picture with a queen oh goodness this is insane. A bunch of gals who look exactly the same all milling about this stinky bullpen & entire precinct wow & that "winners never slouch" got my mom & me to straighten our posture & celebrate the fact that she wasn't one of those moms who gave her kids eating disorders KB, whispering: CASTLE. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. JE: Beats the usual lowlifes & nutjobs  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) KB: I don't know if u can say that nut jobs and beauty queens are mutually exclusive JE: Yeah, but none of them connect to the murder. I checked the sequin against all their dresses RC: I bet you did. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) JE: & none of them are a match. KB: Okay, look at the footage from the dinner. Let's make sure that the dresses we checked are the ones they actually wore. JE: Hm. Watch a parade of beautiful women in evening attire? Yeah, I can do that. RC: I bet you can. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) KR: Hey. So, I've been interviewing these ladies-- RC: I bet you have. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) KR: -! About their alibis last night!

clipping

Castle she's probably way too young for you

This man is gay af. I'm glad it's about more than beauty & who can buy the fanciest dress. I would honestly expect to be makeup skills, dance skills, & sewing skills more than who can afford what or even stuff like social issues. It's kind of neat how it's a talent show as well as a beauty contest. I like this guy. He seems so stressed over his gal dying. Political he says, making those motions with his hands

Black sequins? It's like the wedding video. I thought they were black sequins! I just couldn't tell if it was black bc it was so shiny.

KR: For unwanted *looks to esposito* advances Esposito ryan is telling u to stop hitting on him, he's getting married. /j btw KR, eyes wide with excitement: Oh but it gets better! *hits espt gently* JE: *barely raises an eyebrow* (he would bite castle's head off if it was him) KR: *excitedly continues to explain the drama*

Ew I hate this bobby character. Man sat on the wrong side of the table ...Goddess train...???.?.?? Who wouldn't want to ride the bobby rocket? Everyone from what we hear! Boy can't even remember?

KB: this guy's dropped more pills than a three fingered pharmacist I can't believe castle took dad advice from him Esposito just had video running on beckett's computer? (btw i figured out how to put question marks on tumblr wéo relying on copy-paste: I use my french keyboard!)

Esposito has an ass

Someone would probably pawn the fiddle, not drop it down a drain. Tho pawned can lead back to u. Captions? He said right on, not all right. KB just sits in the desk espt was just at

Oh martha is so pretty! Far right! Look at her abs! What was your talent? The way I wore a sweater. Oh poor Alexis. I love the drama. Give her a hug! I'm so glad alexis has gram there.

Ok castle, you have been divorced twice, idk if your relationship advice is that good

Parallel. It's love! Montgomery is so sweet I love him! RM: If you stayed married long enough, you'd know it's hard to stay original after the first ten. BRUH. (that was good!) JE: Yeah, he was tweeting photos of his manhood along the way. *holds up fingers close together* (won clip)

KR with a nice pastel blue sweater, plus his usual attire. I don't like that accent. KB has a nice jeanjacket with those leather sleeves. You would disrespect a beautiful & expensive instrument like that? 25 is old? Your brain has barely finished developing! Drugs?

Ah nudes.

lmao I love the sticky notes they put over them RC: Well, just because you're smart and beautiful doesn't mean you have good judgment. KB: RC: I didn't mean me.

RC: Deadly action, that's a good title JE: *looks down & shakes head in exasperation* Why would the photographer pay HER for the photos? She would be paying THEM for the session, right? Also dang she's skinny.

Boy's gay voice is so strong that my little bro thought a woman was speaking. & then I went all trans on him & explained voices. I don't even know as much as I would like to tbh. I should take singing lessons (not necessarily gender affirming voice lessons)

RM: Beckett, you're a woman, right? KB, lowkey flustered: Sir, I have no idea what to get your wife! [...] RC: The best thing to give a woman is something she said she wanted when she didn't think you were listening. RM: What if I wasn't listening? RC: Gift certificate? no honey no

JE: *turns around to watch someone's booty* "Negative" Yay she's sending ryan to meet up with him finally, keep the boys together

I like how he doesn't remember the actual name but does remember it was smth similar to jerry. Already "night before last"? Mum is always confused about how the doorone remembers everything. Sus? Sure. Lack of smth regular? Maybe. Smth normal? not rly.

Keieiper XD Every guy is a creep in the eyes of the parent. Poor becket,, look at her nearly pulling her hair out. KB: It was my own private Vietnam. Our place smelled of hairspray, perfume, and cigarettes. I'm surprised that we didn't spontaneously combust.

It's ash!!! He really does love her to go see her dad at work to win her back Long distance relationships are better than they used to be. It used to be that your man goes off to make a fortune so he can marry you but then gets attacked by pirates & becomes a pirate himself & then steals you back from kidnappers, or you go away for ten months & then come back & your wife has a kid altho I might be mixing up the birth of hercules/heracles with ulyssix/odysseus & his son who I thought might be nine years old when the man was gone for ten idk it's smth like that anyways it's better to have long distance relationships these days since back then you could send letters that take ages to get to that war zone or whatever.

Ryan's the one who said "yo" this time Ew an obsessive porn wall Ew he's hanged right behind it. they didn't smell it

Peri mortem. During death, not before, not after. Before amber? Yes Before! Now can you please move? You're in my light! (Perlmutter also has an actor who needs to know where to stand to get his light) (not clipping)

By today's standards are downright tasteful! Those convenient sticky notes Girl he's on the phone, you're asking him to do work while he's on the phone? Poor Jenny. "Sorry Babey."

RC: You know I-- I hate to interfere… AC: Since when? RC: Point taken.

Nice little magnifying glass! He got it bc beckett doesn't have one Coffee <3

Y'all agreed & knew he was a cheater? Wow this is dramatic. WOAH A VASE! Who do I need to be ashamed in front of? "take care of it"???

BOBBY STARK? Course he doesn't remember.

Strawberry oil XD ok rick

Why woulld he assume one of them was lying? Didn't they all say she was great?

He was so upset! No! (Ryan & espt had better be there) Ah yes they are. Where u going? Huh?

Good work you two! *clearing throats loudly* (Ryan's square shirt love it.) Good work you folks. Rick really is a charmer isn't he? I love it when characters are in love Dancing "That gift this morning"? sounds like sex Wait, you're serious, boss? Smile, please. That's an order. (They all smile and chuckle.) RM: Hey, you kids take care, alright? (He really is the dad of the precinct) KR: What the hell did you say to him? RC: Nothing! No, I just told him to listen to what his wife wanted. JE: Damn, Castle. KB: Castle, let me let you in on a little secret. Captain Montgomery retires all the time, just give it a week or two. He's like the Brett Favre of the NYPD. Trust me. He's not going anywhere. It's just so cute, I KNOW they are just teasing him & making him think they were mad at him> & then espt still makes that move at him lol. Making him run out of the room sideways.

She will keep showing up See you tomorrow SDFHAKSJDFHDSFD

She is such a lil genius just like my bb bro. I took an extra year of highschool lol.

So yeah good episode.

[kimbap-r0ll]

Can you do a TWST imagine (Dorm Leaders+Jamil), In which reader’s parents are one of the great seven? (So like Malleus with reader who’s mother is Maleficent)

Hi, thank you for the ask! I think that this is a large amount of characters and because it's not just the dorm leaders (which I leave as an exception from my five-character limit), I'm just going to choose four random dorm leaders and Jamil.

Edit: For those wondering, I don’t headcanon Malleus and Maleficent being related, if someone has the chapter where this is mentioned let me know tho! As of now in twst it’s not confirmed. It was not my intention on making this seem like they were, so I’m sorry if this upset anyone

Malleus, Azul, Idia, Jamil, Vil with a reader whose parent is a Great Seven

Malleus

He's surprised, as that would mean you're also a fae. The two of you probably had a lot of similarities in terms of magical abilities and it made sense why you were living in Briar Valley. He just didn't know that you were related to a Great Seven, let alone the Thorn Fairy herself!

He doesn't consider it too much however, as he's just happy to be with you. He looks at you for who you are, rather than your reputation as Maleficent's daughter. He'll just say that it is an honor to be with you but that's as far as it will go.

Sebek on the other hand is freaking out that there's two super famous people on campus and that they're both in the same dorm as he is haha. Malleus will make sure that you don't get too much unwanted attention from curious students though as sometimes it can be overwhelming

Overall he's glad to be with you because of who you are, more than you being related to the Great Seven. Perhaps you should introduce him to your mother at some point, the two might have a lot in common

Azul

He knew you were from the sea but he didn't think you would be an octopoid like he was. He was super happy when you said that you were, since it made him feel less lonely.

But you shocked him even more when you said you were related to the Benevolent Sea Witch. Like, the person he looks up to? WHAT?!

He doesn't think he has the honor to be with you, but he fell in love with you because of who you were as a person to begin with. You were smart, talented, brave, and you looked at him as more than the head of Octavinelle or the "scary dorm leader in charge of the lounge."

He will ask to go to Corral Sea with you on some occasions, perhaps he's curious to see your mer form. But if you ask him, he'll be shy about it but with some convincing and lots of hugs he might cave in haha. Azul won't mind too much about your relation to Ursula, though he might be a bit nervous to meet her in person.

Idia

No way you were actually related to the King of the Underworld. No way, he's pressing x for doubt. But you said that it was true, and that you could show him and he was like "...no thanks I like my room."

He likes you for who you are as well, since you were the first one to geek out with him about video games and you were the first one to stand up for him when some students tried to gang up on the poor dorm leader. He admires your charisma but also your fearless personality.

If you do show him your father, expect Idia to hide behind you for most of the event. His hair might go red too, which you might point out is eerily similar to your dad's

Overall, he likes you because of who you are, and he won't worry about your connection to a Great Seven. If anyone tries to overwhelm you because of this information however, he might get upset

Jamil

He thought there was a reason you were so good at magic! Not to mention you would constantly talk about a talking parrot that was eerily similar to the tales of the Sorcerer of the Sands.

He thinks you're too good for him. Jamil's a vice dorm leader, let alone a servant to the Al Asim family, so he has no idea how someone so prestigious (at least in his opinion) would want to be with him. But you tell him that family names and such doesn't matter to you, and he feels the same way.

He might be a bit hesitant to show up in front of your father soon, so for now he might just ask you questions about him. How is it like to be related to him? Is the parrot really annoying? Stuff like that haha

Just remember that Jamil's there for you! He loves you because of who you are! Also, if you do end up showing him your father, expect him to be a bit flustered because he's anxious but the two of them will likely be on very good terms since they're kinda similar in your opinion.

Vil

Yeah you were beautiful, he knew that. But what he didn't know was that you were related to the Beautiful Queen, you know, the person Pomefiore's based off of.

He loves you because of who you are as well. He doesn't consider your parentage very important when he loves you. He won't tolerate people harassing you about your mother though.

He wouldn't mind meeting your mother though, since he has confidence in himself to look good. But once the two of them meet, the two of them realize that they're really similar haha.

He really doesn't care that much that you're related to the Great Seven, though he considers it an honor to be with you. Vil won't think much after that, but other Pomefiore students might be a bit scared of you haha.

[dovabunny]

Part 3 - need or want?

Ghost pov. Under the cut.

To say Soap had become his saviour wouldn't be inaccurate. His life stopped revolving around missions and waiting to go the next mission. Now he was planning his weeks around his visits, even turning down jobs with an iron will.

The first time Price had to tell Laswell in front of him to give up, Ghost will not budge because he had an appointment with his masseur that day - she looked like she was gonna explode, torn between disbelief, joy, and fury.

It was important to him. Soap was important to him.

It was like the man saw him for who he was - and the irony isn't lost on him there. Soap read his body like a book, never pushing where he didn't want to go but leading him right through walls he thought were made of steel and fire.

He gives a little huff of amusement when he realizes Soap pretty much got onto a huge wrecking ball and smashed right through those walls. Which is morbidly apt, seeing as his speciality used to be demolitions - which too his sight, but gave him Soap.

As he listened to the Scott's beautiful voice, tongue rolling over consonants and wrapping around vowels, he found himself actually caring about someone else's life - *wanting* to know them better, to know how was their day, was that show as good as he hoped, what was dinner.

He also learned more about himself. He hasn't had an interest in taking care of his body or knowing himself in decades.

He learns he likes green tea and citrus scents, he likes company if there's no expectations, he loves warm pressure on his body, and

...he can get jealous.

"Ye know, Roach has been begging me to meet ya. Told him I'd swat him like a bug if he comes close when you're here, tho!"

Ghost has to suppress tensing, knowing Johnny will immediately notice. Who the fuck is 'Roach' and why does Soap talk about him to the guy

"And Roach is?"

"My friend and 'rehab counsellor'. Used to be military too, actually, but his vocal cords were damaged in a fire."

Ghost makes a noise of interest. Actually he doesn't want to know about this other man - just more about Soap. He's never talked about his rehab.

"Ah was in a pretty dark place - pun intended - when ah lost my sight. Didn't... Didn't really see the use in carrying on, ya ken? Spent my life to build skills and turn myself into this weapon - lost my purpose."

Ghost listens so carefully he almost stops breathing.

"They didn't wanna discharge me, said I was 'at risk'. Then I met Roach. He went through the same shit, decided to go into counselling. Good listener. Calls himself 'all ears' cause he can't talk. The damn gremlin." It's said with a fond chuckles.

Ghost bites his lip.

The way Soap talks about Roach... It sounds like Soap is pretty fond of him. Very much.

He supposes he should've known the absence of a ring or mention of a partner doesn't mean Soap would be single.

Even though not even in his fantasies could he imagine Johnny being interested

The wave of ugly jealousy is replaced a flush of shame - what fucking right does he have to be jealous of Soap's partner. Who the fuck does he think he is, the ugly, scarred, unwanted mess of a man with more skeletons and baggage than redeeming qualities.

"Hey," Soap's soft voice brings him out of his spiral. "What's going on in here? It's like you're trying to shrink into yourself." A soft tap on his mask covered head.

Ghost is quiet for a long time, but it's not uncomfortable. He makes Soap won't force him to do anything.

He's never felt so safe with a person...ever.

He lets Johnny's hands ground him, bring him back into his body and out of his mind. The firm pressure, the gentle scent and sounds, Johnny's soft breath and the perfect light scrape of his callouses over his shoulders.

He talks.

"Just... Happy for you. People would kill for that."

"What? To lose their eyes, meet a mute chaotic goblin and become a part time masseur cause that's all I'm good for now?" He says with a soft laugh that Ghost hates. It's empty and there's hurt under it.

"No, finding yourself outside the military. Living for yourself, not just as...canon fodder for another man's greedy war."

He's silent for a beat and swallows rough.

"To have someone who knows you. To come home to. Who loves you...like you deserve."

Soap's hands freeze and Ghost hears his breath hitch. Fuck, he shouldnt have said that, he has no right commenting on Soap's personal life!

"Sorr-"

"I'm single," Soap blurts in a rush, interrupting his apology. "Roach is my friend, a brother more like, I love him as a brother."

Soap's fingers spasm a little. "So, single. Just me. Been just me for...an embarrassingly long time." He says it with an odd tone of importance, like it needs to be clear.

Ghost doesn't know what to say. He settles for an idiot "..oh."

Soap coughs awkwardly, but his hands are confident as they pick up again, moving to his calves to work out the tension of standing for hours.

"And you? Ye don't talk much, so is fine of you don't wanna say but.... Got someone waiting for you? Who loves you like she should?"

Ghost feels little foreign tingles radiate from his chest. It's the first time Soap explicitly asked about him and - is he out of tough or is the man flirting? Fishing.

"No. Just me. No family either. Not girlfriend." He lowers his voice a bit. "Or boyfriend."

"Oh," Soap's response mirrors his own. " Good." Then he freezes again. "I- I don't mean good that you don't have anyone, cause you should! I mean, you deserve it. But, like, good as in - that... You're open to...lads too." Soap's voice goes softer till it's a whisper.

Ghost can't help the chuckles that shake his shoulders. In the months he's known the man and heard him recount his whole life and every thought, not once was his voice unsteady or his words as rushed and awkward.

He chances a glance at the man over his shoulders.

"Should see yourself. Quite the shade of red, Johnny."

The nickname seems to make it worse and Ghost smiles in true, honest delight.

Soap sticks out his bottom lip. No fair you can see mah face when I lose my smooth charm and you're wearing a mask."

Ghost watches him carefully. "Does the mask bother you?"

"No, whatever makes you comfortable is fine it's just... Why? It's not like I can see you." He grins a little devilish. "Are you ugly?"

Ghost rests his head on his arms watching Soap. "Quite the opposite." He teases.

Soap looks pensive, teeth on his lip. "Could I... Ah, no, never mind." He recovers, reaching for more oil for his now cooled hands.

Ghost reaches out for his wrist.

Soap's voice stuttered. It was the first time Ghost initiated touch.

GhostSoap AU Concept - blind love

Soap is an army vet who lost his sight in an explosion. He now works as a masseur, he's good with his hands and his options are limited.

Ghost is a scarred, disfigured man in pain with insecurities he hid behind thick walls and a mask.

Ghost's body is a mess of injuries old and new, he can't even remember what it's like to not be in pain but always pushes through it. That he's getting older doesn't help either.

Until his back locks up mid mission and he's left in pain that has him limping and wincing.

Price has had enough of him dodging the question and actually orders him to get it looked at. Ghost refuses. First, he will not take off his shirt in front of a stranger, and he most certainly will NOT let a stranger touch him.

Price sighs and says he knows just the place.

If it wasn't an order Ghost wouldn't be here, no way in hell. He's just gonna go in, tell the guy to say he was here and leave.

It's a small parlour, if it can even be called that. A small two story building with a tiny waiting room and a door leading to the back.

But it was at the edge of town away from the bustle of the city, the wilderness literally just across the river next to it.

It helped a bit, the place being so out of the way. Ghost appreciated privacy, after all.

There was no one in the waiting room, but the door jingled when he entered. Soon enough a voice yells 'with you in a sec!', accent thick and Scottish.

THAT was unexpected. He was expecting a woman, possibly old and creepy. It helped a little bit more.

Then the door to the back swung open and he lost his breath a little.

The man walks out with a beaming smile, hair in a fkn mohawk that somehow looked great on him, built like a damn rugby player.

But it was his eyes.

A striking deep blue, but clouded.

At Ghost's silence the man's smile is a bit more forced. "I can tell you're there, ya know."

Ghost snapped out of his daze and stuck out his hand in greeting, then felt like a fking idiot and yanked it back. "It's Ghost, I mean, Simon. Price called about me."

"Ah. The lieutenant! Price told me you might be a flight risk," he chuckled, but somehow it didn't feel condescending or cruel as laughter towards him usually was. It was friendly, warm.

He felt entirely off kilter.

"I'm John MacTavish, call me Soap." He stuck out his hand. Ghost took it and shook, feeling callouses on his soft hands.

"Kind of name is Soap?"

Soap smiled. "It was my call sign. Was called by it so long anything else feels odd."

"You're military?"

"Was. Just entered SAS when," he gestures at his eyes with a strained smile.

Ghost didn't know how to respond, which Soap must've picked up on too cause he quickly followed with a "So! Shall we get started?"

Without waiting for a response, Soap walked to the back, Ghost snapping out of it and following after a beat.

He stood in the doorway and looked around. It had soft lighting, soft music from somewhere that sounded almost Celtic, it smelled... Amazing. Gentle and warm, but no distinct scent he could place.

Soap was moving around with precision, washing his hands and putting things ready.

Ghost had fully intended to go through with his plan - pay the masseuse to tell Price he was here then leave. Maybe buy a heat patch form the pharmacy.

But here, now, in this room with Soap - a veteran who'll understand, who can't see how ugly disfigured he is...

He decides to give it a chance. For the first time since he became a dead man, he's going to get out of his shell and try to take care of himself, to stop waiting for his inevitable death and actually work towards getting better.

In the best hands he could wish for.

[iicheeze]

𝐏𝐎𝐕: 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐋𝐄𝐃𝐆𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑.

Inspired by the song; It's Not Like I Like You.

Childe or Tartaglia X Tsundere Gender Neutral Reader | High School AU

a/n: SORRY FOR EVERYONE WHO TOLD ME A MISTAKE I MADE HERE I WAS HALF ASLEEP AND I DIDN'T KNOW 😭 THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THO

It all started when your second year of high school started. You expected another normal high school year. Just much more difficult lessons and possibly new students and teachers. It's not like you're gonna need to pay attention to their names or whatever.

Until that new kouhai (underclassmen) from Snezhnaya High moved to Liyue High. The very same high school you attend. Of course, you were planning to just ignore him and just focus on your academics and friends.

Until he confessed to you.

Out of nowhere.

In the middle of a bustling hallway.

In front of everyone.

“ You're absolutely beautiful.. Be my lover? ” He crouched with one knee, kissing your hand.

“ HELL NO!!! WHO EVEN ARE YOU?? ”

Ever since that encounter, he's been courting you in any possible moment. He'll find you during lunch time, class breaks, mornings before the school starts, even after school!!

“ You look great today, senpai! However, it'd look better with me beside you. ” “ Shut up!! ”

“ Do you wanna eat lunch together, senpai? I can feed you and maybe you can feed me as well! ” “ No way in hell I will!! ”

“ Senpai.. I might need tutoring in History. Can you teach me?? ” “ I'm busy!! ” “ But I just heard that you're free this weekend- ” “ Shut up!! ”

He flirts with you, talks to you, and even asks for tutoring every now and then, only for you to harshly reject him.

Of course, a lot of girls bash you for this. Calling you unpleasant nicknames, making up rumors about you which is obviously isn't true, and even push you to lockers. That's the least of your concerns, though.

It's the ginger's fault!! Ever since he came into your life, it's been disastrous like there's no tomorrow!

You hate every second of interacting with him. You hate everytime he talks to you. You hate everytime he sometimes helps you with your problems. You hate how he flirts with you, pointing out the little things about you that you've never paid any attention to. You hate how he makes you feel accompanied. You hate how he makes you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. You hate how he was always there for you, even in unwanted times.

Wait a minute.

No way.

Are you falling for him?!

No way! You refuse! There's no way you're falling in love with that stupid kouhai of yours!!

Plus, you know how the other girls look at him. He's probably a playboy, anyways. Yet, you can't help but feel a thousand arrows going through your heart when you thought about what he could be doing with the others.

He could treat others the same as you. There's no way he fell in love with first sight. It has to be a trick of some sort.

You refuse to acknowledge that you're in love with that stupid ginger.

This is probably just a puppy crush. That's right! It's probably just a small crush. It'll pass soon. You don't actually like like him! Bleh. Love. It's not like you have time for it anyways!

It was just another day in Liyue High. As your English lesson teacher, Ms. Lisa, left the classroom. You knew it was a break between lessons. As you then expected your stupid kouhai coming through the sliding door.

Yet, he wasn't there. His bright ginger hair is nowhere to be seen. Nor is his signature smile. Surely he's just late, right?

But no. Your biology teacher came as 10 minutes had already passed, with your kouhai nowhere to be seen. Wait a minute, why are you expecting him in the first place?!?! Stupid [Name].

Time passed by like a snail trying to win a race with a turtle. It felt slow, and unmoving. Usually it passes by like a breeze. Is it because your mind is always occupied with Tartaglia's annoyingness? Tch. Whatever. He's probably just pranking you. Take your mind off of him, goddammit!

But then another day came, and another, and another. Yet Tartaglia was nowhere to be seen. You even took the time to go to his classroom! But his seat was empty. Confused, you asked one of his classmates.

“ Oh, Childe's sick. I heard he got a heavy fever. Probably because he fought with someone in the rain. I don't know. ”

Oh. No wonder he isn't here.

Tch, stupid ginger. Always going through stupid stuff. You've always prevented him doing his stupid ideas, solely because he always tells you before he does it.

Once school ends, you went to the Pharmacy to buy medicine. No, you aren't worried about him. You're just being a decent human being. No, you're not making him chicken soup because you're worried that he doesn't have the appetite to eat. You're just having normal human decency! There's a difference.

Finally knowing where Tartaglia's home is, thanks to his teacher, you immediately visited him.

Two taps were heard as you knocked at the front door. The door then flew open, revealing a ginger-haired woman who seemed to be in her middle ages. “ O-oh! Hello, I'm [Name]. Tartaglia's senpa- ” You were about to introduce yourself, but your sentence was cut off by the woman.

“ Ajax's lover!! ” She squealed. Giggling happily. Heat rose to your cheeks, shocked of her statement. “ W-What!! No, no!! I'm his senpai!! ” You profusely denied. “ Oh, don't worry dear!! You don't have to be shy!! ” “ I'm not- ” “ Come in, come in!! I'll lead you to his room!! ” Before you could even finish, Tartaglia's mother took your arm inside the house, leading you to his room.

Not even 2 minutes in, and you were already in ‘ Ajax ’s room. With his mother giggling at the other end of the door.

“ Oh? Senpai! What are you doing here? ” Tartaglia sat up from his bed, sweat dripping down from his forehead. Geez, what a terrible view. And even you wouldn't insult him.

Ok, maybe just one insult.

“ YOU IDIOT!! YOU ABSOLUTE MORON!! WHY DID YOU EVEN FIGHT SOMEONE, LET ALONE IN A HEAVY RAIN!! ” You hit the ginger at the arm, yet light enough not to actually injure him.

“ Ow, ow! Sorry, senpai! Ahaha! I just can't help it, you know? ” He laughed, before a series of coughs came out of his mouth. Causing you to face palm.

“ Geez, lie down you blockhead. Don't force yourself. Especially when your sick! ” You urged, pulling the taller male to the bed, forcing him to lie down.

“ Christ, you look terrible. ” You added, pressing your hand at his forehead to check his temperature. “ Geez, hot. ” “ Dang, not now, senpai! I know I'm hot but still- ” “ Shut up!! Not that, you fool!! ”

A moment of silence was shared, with Tartaglia's chest going up and down. “ So.. Ajax?.. ” You called, “ Hm? ” he responded. “ I didn't know your first name is that. How come you've never told me? ” “ You never asked. ” A slap made contact with Tartaglia's stomach.

“ Oh and, I didn't know you'd care for me enough to visit me when I'm sick. I always thought that you just view me as an annoying playboy, but I guess even you miss my presence, huh? ”

It was supposed to be a tease, and you know that.

So why the heck are you getting shy over it?!

“ I'm not!! I'm just being a-a decent human being! That's all!! There's a difference, you bonehead! ” Even though that was your usual remark, it wouldn't hide your obvious blush on your cheeks.

Obviously, Ajax noticed this. And he couldn't help but laugh over it.

“ .. And.. At first, I did view you as an annoying playboy. I've never received this kind of attention so I got suspicious of you. But.. I guess I did like your company. Not to mention that you seem really genuine around me. ” You muttered, yet loud enough for the ginger to hear you.

“ Oh.. That explains why you're always like that. Haha! ” “ Shut up, you idiot ginger. ”

“ Well, if you're still suspicious of me. We can spend time together. I mean, all the times we've interacted are always about me. Now, it's your turn. I've always wanted to know more about you, now's your chance! While I'm stuck on this bed though. ” Ajax stated, giving you his signature smile.

“ .. Alright, then. What do you wanna know, huh? But first, have you ate? ” “ .. Yes. ” “ Yeah, no, I'm not believing that. I made chicken soup. ” “ Wow, for me? ” “ No!! Don't get the wrong idea!! ”

Part 2?

[regalbootie]

hey! Love your fics, especially "binoculars see all" was soo good, one of my all-time faves. Wanted to request a fic with Larissa where reader is on a date to get over her n the date gets too handsy or something and Larissa goes all shining knight mode and saves reader

This actually turned out rather angsty which is not something I'm used too, I suppose It was my own experience of unwanted advances kinda snuck its way into this that this was kinda written. Though I do wish I had Larissa to curl up with after it happened😭

Sorry for it being quite dark it does have a happy ending tho!

...

Her knight in shining armour

Larissa Weems x reader

⚠️ warning: unwanted sexual advances⚠️ please be warned

...

It’s been 2 months since Larissa had rejected you, those months have been spent with you on autopilot. Blocking out all emotions and avoiding your boss at all costs. Even if it meant diving behind students to go unseen, earning you lots of weird stairs from your students.

A few days ago your best friend and fellow teacher Layla Maxwell had set you up on a blind date. “you need to get back out there! You can’t lock yourself in your room after classes”

She had a point and you thought about it. Fuck it what was the worst that could happen and it could actually help you get over the silver haired beauty.

Tonight was the night and Layla had helped you pick your outfit knowing you would probably pick an oversized sweater and jeans with the mood that you had been in.

She picked out something sexy, something that showed off every attribute you had going for you as well as a generous amount of cleavage.

So there you were sitting in a local bar waiting for your blind date sipping on a negroni. “y/n”

You turned to see a stunning beauty in front of you. Maybe this date wasn’t going to be a disaster you smiled at her “Regina?”

A big smile spread across her face “that’s me!” she took your outstretched hand and turned to kiss your knuckles making you blush.

You had just finished your drink and she noticed “how about I get us some drinks?” you nodded and she took a seat at the bar beside you and ordered some drinks.

The night was flying in and you were having a good time but you had noticed how fast Regina had been nocking back the drinks. She had increasingly becoming more flirty and her hands had started to wonder. Words were slurring too and you had become quite uncomfortable, Regina had even started asking uncomfortable questions.

Regina started with a hand on the shoulder but had moved it lower resting on your lower back but you grew very uncomfortable when they began to go lower and you jumped out of your seat when you felt her squeeze your ass.

You jumped off your seat very flustered and not in a good way. “I’m just going to the power room” you squeaked, rushing off.

You hunted through your bag to find your phone to give Layla a piece of your mind for setting you up with a handsy drunk.

Not looking in front of you, you felt yourself crash into something strong and hands wrap around you to steady you. “oh god I am so sorry!” you look up to see those icy blue eyes that you had been working so hard to get over and avoid.

“Principle Weems!” you gasped not expecting to see her in a place like this. She looked stunning, she was wearing a tight golden dress that hugged her waist snuggly and she looks like a goddess.

“Please we’re not in work, call me Larissa” smiling down at you, realising her hands were still wrapped around you she retracted her hands with a blush across her face.

You shyly look down finding her eyes too intense “I’m sorry for bumping into you Larissa”

“it’s perfectly fine, I would recommend you keep your eyes up from now on” her hand took your chin and tilted your head up. Sucking a breath in you looked into her eyes, you were in a trance and never wanted to leave it.

“I.. uh” the door to the bathroom swung open and there was Regina staggering in.

“Y/n! Where have you been! Can’t leave your date for too long” she practically shouted and staggered over to you, not noticing your moment with Larissa. She wrapped around your waist and putting her whole weight on you causing her to slam into the wall and her pressed up against you.

Larissa’s eyes widened “I should leave you to it then. let you resume your date” not noticing you reaching out to her and a uneasy look on your face.

“I almost thought you ran off on me” Regina purred into your ear, the smell of strong alcohol on her breath making you cringe.

“I.. uh..” mumbling trying to string a sentence together from feeling so uncomfortable.

Regina’s hands moved to your hips and you gasped. She lay a kiss on your neck and you pushed her off “I’m sorry I can’t do this”

You ran out of the bathroom only to have Regina follow you out and grabbing your wrist to turn you around to face her and pull you into a kiss.

You squeaked and tried to push her away again but her grip on your waist was tight. You began to panic a bit and prayed for someone to come to rescue you.

“I thought we had something blossoming” Regina purred “No! Your drunk and I’m sorry this isn’t going to work”

You closed your eyes as she leaned in again and a tear rolled down your cheek. Suddenly you felt cold air between you as you felt yourself pulled back and colliding with something warm again.

Opening your eyes to see Larissa holding you close and Regina stumbling back. “Hey what’s your deal!”

“she said no” Larissa growled, you had never seen her so angry, you felt so safe in her embrace and moved to hide behind her. Her arm making sure you stayed close.

“oh come on! Y/n you were having fun right!?” You shook your head and tucked your head away into Larissa like a child hiding behind their mother.

“I think its time for you to leave” Larissa stepped forward looking for intimidating by the second.

“screw this I’m out” Regina grabbed her bag and coat and marched out the door of the bar.

Larissa turned to you and you wrapped your arms around her in a hug. The tears flowed and she wrapped her arms around you, running a hand over your head in soothing motions.

“let’s get you home” Larissa led you to grab both your belonging. Making sure you wrapped up so you wouldn’t get too cold with the night air.

The taxi back was quiet, you stayed curled up in her arms, it was the only way you felt remotely safe. Larissa had no complaints she soothed you and lead you back to your room.

Stopping at the door when you entered, you turned to her “thank you for helping earlier”

“It’s perfectly ok, I couldn’t stand by while you were being treated like that” she shuffled awkwardly and you took her hand.

“can.. can you...” you took a breath in “can you not leave me alone tonight” Larissa smiled at you and nodded.

Leading her into the room you both started to get ready for bed and giving Larissa some spare pj’s.

Not one of you spoke a word, crawling into bed. Facing each other Larissa pushed a curl out from your face making you smile.

“Thank you for staying with me” you whispered

“happy to be here for you” she said smiling to try and bring you some positivity.

Her hand rested against your cheek “can I say something”

“anything” blushing at her touches, it felt so different with her, every touch was soft and caring not rough and hungry.

“I want to let you know I regret rejecting you, seeing you tonight made me realise that” she let out a shaky breath “I don’t want to see you with someone else, not when I can’t treat you like the goddess you are”

You pulled her in for a hug, she left you speechless. “will you go on a date with me?”

It was your turn to accept or reject her and all you could do was nod as you hid your face in her neck.

She couldn’t help but giggle at you being so shy and wrapped her arms around you laying a soft kiss to the top of your head.

“goodnight darling” you drifted off to sleep in her arms, it was the safest you had ever felt and now you knew she liked you back. Everything felt right again, you didn’t feel like a robot hiding your emotions you felt happy.