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senmiyaazx · 9 days ago

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12 months and 365 days

Crowe x GN!Reader

context: memories of your first year spent in loneliness, and memories of your second year spent with crowe. (aka how you met crowe)

cw: a little self indulgent. mentions of bullying. self deprecating and social anxiety.

word count: 1673

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It's your first day.

You're very nervous.

Of course, you finished high school before. But college was different.

And you didn't have anyone you knew here.

It's okay. You reassure yourself. You just gotta save up enough money to pay the debt, make a few friends and graduate. It's easy enough, right?

It's... your third day.

You haven't talked to anyone yet.

It's alright. It's only your third day.

You'll be fine.

Besides, there's this cool person you've been sneaking glances at lately. Hopefully you'll build up enough courage to talk to them!

Something gnaws at your nerves.

It's been two weeks.

Two weeks since you came to this city.

Two weeks spent alone at a table in a busy cafeteria. Two weeks of sitting in the corner of the classroom as if you don't exist.

It'll be fine. You can get by with no friends. You just have to pay the debt, and you'll be back home like nothing ever happened.

It's fine.

Three weeks.

You're paired up with someone for a group project.

They're nice. Really nice.

You found out you share a lot of common interests.

They ask to be friends. You accept.

You're really happy.

1 month.

Oh.

They've forgotten about you.

It's okay. You expected it so it didn't hurt much.

It seems they already had an existing friendgroup before you.

It's not your place to be upset. You were strangers after all.

It's okay. Just focus on your job. You'll be home soon.

Five months.

Why don't they ask you for a pen? You're right here.

You have complete school supplies. You always take notes in class.

The person in front of you asks your seatmate for a paper. They don't have one.

You did.

Why don't they ask you?

Why don't you talk to them?

You can't. Because you're too anxious. Scared.

Fear of getting judged.

It's frustrating.

College isn't so fun when you're doing it to save your only home. When you have no friends.

Seven months.

You've gotten used to it.

Sure, you can talk to your group mates just fine. Act friendly and all that stuff. But it never lasted long. Nothing ever did.

It's nothing too concerning now. You accepted the fact you were too much of a coward to just talk and reach out to someone. You're an outcast, and it'll stay that way forever.

Even if your inner self begged to be able to rant about your interests, your hobbies, your troubles.

Two more years of this hell.

Before you knew it, you're in your second year.

First day.

Nothing unusual. You're still alone.

It's boring.

Four more hours till you go home.

Second day.

There's this guy who introduced himself to you.

He seems friendly.

He told you his name, but you forgot. Oh well, it's not important.

Not like you two will be close anyway.

One week.

He keeps talking to you.

You learned his name now. Crowe.

You weren't exactly a jerk either, and it was rude to show your obvious disinterest in someone, so you tried your best to put on a smile as you listened to him.

It's awkward. He's aware of the tension in the air.

You feel bad, but it's okay. Give it a week and he'll move on.

Three weeks.

He. Won't. Leave. You. Alone.

What's wrong with this guy? He keeps acting all buddy with you.

You don't know him. He doesn't know you.

It annoys you how he acts like he does. How friendly he is with you.

You're sure he has some sort of ulterior motive.

Ah, whatever. It's not good to assume. At least you have someone sitting with you at lunch. Even if you're a little irritated.

Four weeks.

You volunteered to be a helper at the school gardens. It's good. Extra credits and a place for you to hang out. Alone.

Now you no longer have to be in the cafeteria.

Five weeks.

He found out about the garden. Keeps pestering you about it.

"Can I join? Can I help? I wanna see! Let's eat lunch there together!" He says.

It's.. so annoying. But you felt bad for him, so you accepted. Grudgingly.

Now you have someone pestering you in your comfort spot. Great.

He tells you he didn't expect you to be interested in gardening. You told him you lived on a farm. He's curious, but you refuse to tell more.

It'll be a waste of time if he'll forget about you in the end anyways.

Two months.

He's still there. He's weirdly persistent on being your friend.

You're starting to doubt yourself now. Had you judged him too much?

Still, it's hard to act friendly now when you've spent an entire year being ignored by everyone on the campus despite your attempts to communicate.

He doesn't seem to mind. You feel weird.

For once, you allow yourself to soften a little around him.

Three months.

It's been a terrible week. Burnout has caught up to you. You're in an incredibly tight budget and you're nowhere near halfway to your debt.

Is there really hope for you? Your father?

Right. You're doing this for dad. The farm.

You can't give up now that you've come so far, yet...

The frustration and stress is too much. He noticed this, of course. He's always so observant when it came to you. Noticing all the little changes and details that nobody else did. Not that anyone else paid much mind to you in the first place.

Still. It's weird. It makes you feel overwhelmed and a little overstimulated.

And it's because of the stress, you think. It's the stress and anxiety that you've been bottling up for years— and ended up lashing out on him.

He's hurt. You know it. You feel incredibly guilty.

You fucked up, didn't you? You always did. Now you lost the only person who actually liked you.

It's all your fault.

Three months and two weeks.

You haven't talked to him since then, despite his attempts to reach you.

You're the first to leave when the bell rings. You lock yourself up in the garden when it's lunchbreak. You dash out the school gates when it's time to go home.

You've seen the way he looks at you. Worry and pain plastered all over his face. It makes your stomach twist. You're guilty. You're aware of how much of a jerk you're being.

But you have no choice. After all, you were born to be lonely.

I'm sorry, Crowe.

Six months.

It's been so long. You're sure he's forgotten about you. Like you expected. It hurts, yet you ignore the pain.

One day, however, you're cornered.

You've always been an outcast. One that's genuinely forgotten by everyone.

Unlucky as you were, you never had to experience bullies in your life.

And now..

One of them pushes your bruised body to the ground. You shake. They laugh at you. Fuck people and their greed for superiority.

You hate it. Hate this. Hate yourself. Why can't you just get up and fight back? Are you really going to let them step over you like this when you're already miserable enough?

C'mon. Get up. Stand up!

Someone yells from a distance. That voice, all too familiar. One that makes your heart drop.

"Crowe?"

It all becomes a blur. You're on the ground, frozen in fear as you watched Crowe take the hits for you. Defending you as if you've known each other for years.

Why? Why would he do this? You don't understand. You don't understand him.

It's so damn annoying.

Slowly, you stand up. There's a rock nearby. You grab it.

And throw it against the bastard's head as hard as you can.

He passes out. His other goons turn around to face you with a murderous glare, and you tremble as they approach.

"One more step and I'll scream so loud everyone will think you're a serial killer." It's a stupid threat. You have no guarantee it'll work.

To your luck, it does. They turn away with a 'tsk' as they pick their friend up. It seems they don't want to cause any more trouble than they already did. Hypocrites.

You immediately turn to face Crowe with a harsh glare, striding towards him despite the pain in your body.

You grab him by the collar, bringing him close to your face as you yelled, confusion and pain evident in your voice. Desperation. "Are you stupid? Why the hell did you do that?! There's literally no reason for you to defend me, so why?!" You shake him back and forth. You shouldn't be doing this. Shouldn't be angry at him when he helped you.

You're just.. so damn lost.

He doesn't mind the way you take your anger out on him when he should. He should be annoyed with you. He should be as mad as you for getting angry when he's the one who helped you.

Instead, he laughs. He fucking laughs.

"Because you're my friend!" He grins stupidly, and you have half a mind to punch him the way those bullies did.

You don't. Instead, you let him go as you felt warmth rush to your cheeks and all over your body. Till your heart aches and leaves a stinging pain in your chest. Till the tips of your fingers tingle and leave your palms sweaty. Till your knees feel weak and you sit down on the ground with your head held in your hands.

"You're.. so annoying, you know that? You're fucking insane." Your voice was shaky. Yet you couldn't help the smile that crept up to your lips.

He stayed. He didn't forget about you.

You have a friend. His name is Jericho Ichabod.

Three years — present.

You're in the greenhouse. Brittney and the others are somewhere in the garden, doing their own thing. You're glad they're enjoying this little space of yours.

Crowe's saying something about flowers. You don't listen much, simply staring at him as you nod and smile.

You have a crush. His name is Jericho Ichabod.

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a/n: i've had this on my mind since the update. unfortunately I don't have any ideas for a sol fic yet:(

#the kid at the back vn #visual novel #tkatb vn #tkatb x reader #tkatb_vn #crowe tkatb #jericho crowe ichabod #tkatb crowe x you #tkatb crowe x mc #tkatb crowe x reader #crowe x reader #crowe x mc #crowe x you #gender neutral reader

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commandershepardvasfuckit · 29 days ago

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An Arranged Marriage, part 15

M!troll x f!reader

1.4k words, and finally nsfw

You knew all Zen really wanted was so cuddle, but the way he whimpered and moaned while you kissed him and pulled his hair was just so enticing.

(I am feral over my own character, ask box is always open for talking about my writing or just monster fucking in general!)

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With a firm tug of his hair you yanked Zen’s head back to get better access to his neck. You softly nipped at the skin or sucked on it while you kept a firm grip on his hair, thoroughly enjoying how he whimpered and squirmed under you.

This was not what you expected. You had just planned on cuddling with him and maybe a few little kisses, but something about how he whined when you kissed his neck that first time made you want more. It had been about a month and a half of living together, of being married, which was about a month and a half minus a day longer than you thought it would be before anything happened.

If you were still in your kingdom, married to some upstart naval officer, that first night you would have been expected to lay with your new husband regardless of what you wanted. Instead here Zen had slept on the floor and made no attempt to touch you until it was strictly necessary when carrying you from the bandit camp. Even now he was scarcely touching you, his hands just softly on your back while you set the pace.

“I like this” Zen sighed, “Your lips are so soft and warm”.

“Even if the tongue feels weird?” you teased.

“Even though the tongue feels weird and it is a little gross”.

“That’s hardly gross, I’ve had way worse in my mouth anyways” you laughed against his skin.

“What? So humans will just put anything in their mouth?”

“To a degree” you used your free hand to tug at his arm and then grab his wrist. Even his hands were so different from yours, only three large fingers compared to your five. You sat up and lifted his hand up to your face, taking the tip of one of his fingers into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it.

His eyes were locked on you while you sucked on his finger. You were decently certain that he had no idea what you were mimicking, though it did not seem to matter to him and he was enjoying it all the same.

You could feel the way his chest heaved under you with how hard he was breathing, gently rubbing against you as he moved and you could not help but grinding against him a bit. While you were not able to take in his whole finger, you slowly took what you could, alternating licking and sucking until it looked like Zen could not take it anymore.

You released his finger and leaned forward to give him another quick kiss before clamoring off his chest, much to his confusion and disappointment. He leaned up a bit in an attempt to follow you, but you just placed your hand on his shoulder and gentle nudged him to lay back down. Instead you positioned yourself to lay between his legs and rest your head on his thigh. With just the tips of your fingers you traced along his thigh, smiling as you heard more soft whines from him, until you reached the base of his shaft.

While probably fairly proportionate for someone of his height, it still made him an impressive size. You wrapped your hand around his base and bit your lip little when you could not get your fingers all the way around.

Zen was watching you intensely, his eyes so dilated that you could barely see the green of his irises.

Slowly you gave him a few strokes to see how he would react and were pleased when he rolled his hips up against your hand. With your other hand you gently cupped his balls and played with them, just trying to figure out what got a good reaction from him and that sure did.

His mouth was open, panting hard and whimpering at the slightest touch and you took the time to kiss and nip along his thigh until your lips rested against the base of his shaft. You slowly ran your tongue up the side and planted a soft kiss on his tip, feeling the string of slick precum sticking to your lips as you pulled away.

You looked back up at him, making sure he was looking back at you and making eye contact before you took his tip into your mouth. You felt his whole body tense up and then relax as he registered what you just did and you could practically see the gears turning in his head as he put two and two together about when you had said you had had worse in your mouth.

He was incredible to watch as you just played with his tip, the way he was fighting between closing his eyes or watching you, how his brow knitted together as he processed the feeling, the way his breath hitched and his soft sighs.

Slowly you took more of him into your mouth, periodically pausing to run your tongue along his length or just to observe him. You could not take all of him without gagging and settled for wrapping your hand around what would not fit into your mouth. Moving in tandem you hollowed your cheeks and began bobbing your head up and down while stroking him, savoring the way he twitched and throbbed in your mouth and how his hips bucked up towards you involuntarily.

His soft sighs and whimpers became moans as you continued, which only encouraged you to speed up. You wondered if anyone else had ever seen him like this, so thoroughly undone, or if he was like you and his previously mentioned encounters were also emotionless affairs.

A weird mix of emotions were just bubbling under the surface. The enjoyment of seeing him so pliable and needy under you, of truly wanting him to feel good and not just trading pleasure, of realizing that for the last month and a half how much he had done for you and never seemed to expect anything back. You still felt nervous and unsettled about Tsov’ka, and that would be something that came up eventually, but Zen had done nothing but selflessly take care of you and in this moment you wanted to do the same.

The way his purr seeped into his moans sounded amazing as he came. It was more cum than you were used to but neither of your cared as some overflowed and dripped down his cock. You looked up at him as you removed your lips from him and swallowed before teasing him by running your tongue up his length to clean up any that had escaped. His hips twitched as you did and he let out little overstimulated whimpers.

“Come here, come here” he panted as he tried to catch his breath and haul up back up onto his chest so he could be face to face with you. With his hand on the back of your head he pulled you down to press his forehead to yours and nuzzle against you.

You nuzzled him back and kissed his forehead, “Feeling good?”

“Very good. And it is no wonder that humans do not mind sticking their tongue in someone’s mouth if they also do not mind swallowing cum” he sighed.

“I’m just happy you liked it”.

“It was quite an experience, though if you told me before hand that there would be teeth so close to my dick I probably would have declined. I suppose it was better to not give me a heads up” he laughed a bit and gave you a tight squeeze, “You did not have to do any of that though, I do promise that all I wanted was to cuddle and hold you”.

“I know, but the sound you made when I kissed your neck was just so nice. I don’t know. I just wanted to hear more I guess” you shrugged.

“I am not complaining, I enjoy your kisses, and any anything else humans do with their mouths it seems”.

“Good, I like the sounds you make”.

“Is it possible for me to do anything like that for you?”

“I’m not sure, I mean with your tusks I really don’t know if you’ll be able to get close enough to do anything”.

“I would like to try sometime, if you will let me”.

"I'd like that".

"I do not suppose you are hungry? It is about dinner time".

"Less hungry that I was a bit ago" you laughed.

Part 16

#monster fucker #monster lover #teratophillia #terato #monster x reader

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dreaminrainbows · 3 months ago

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Hello lovies, August did slip away like a moment in time so here are some amazing fics i got to enjoy this month. Please consider leaving comments and kudos, you most definitely will make someone's day.

Look To The Sky by babyhoneyhslt/@babyhoneyheslt |[82.6k]

“Harry, it’s been five years,” Liam says softly, heaving an exasperated sigh. “I know it’s hard, but you need to let it go.” “I can’t let it go.” Harry shakes his head. “He’s my husband, Ash’s father. I can’t give up on him.” “I’m not asking you to give up on him, but you need to stop questioning them. Or trying to get your nose in places it’s not wanted.” Liam watches him. “You know you’re one of my best workers, and I can’t lose you. I’m giving you a warning now, please stop this.” “Or what?” Harry looks at Liam. “You’ll fire me? For wanting answers to what happened to my husband?” ~.~ On the 28th January 2019, British Airways flight BA289 took off from Chile at 10:04am. The fight was due to land in London Heathrow Airport at 12:44am. The flight was flown by experienced Captain Louis Tomlinson, accompanied by the first officer Oli Wright. Around five hours into the flight, BA289 disappeared from air traffic controls radar, and did not arrive in Heathrow at the estimated time. Search crews are currently looking for any signs of wreckage, but the question stands, what happened to flight BA289?

Feels Like Snow In September by louisismycat (tiflamomet)/@liminalkitty369 | [75k]

A mysterious teenager shows up at Louis' door claiming to be his daughter...with an omega he hasn't seen in 16 years, whom believes their secret love child to be dead.

is this flying or falling by HoldingOnToChaos/@holdingontochaos | [55.7k]

Harry Styles is a recently divorced omega who has been planning his lavish solo trip to Tahiti for six months. The trip is to treat himself on the one-year anniversary of his divorce from his long and horrible marriage. Unfortunately, he can’t seem to escape the annoyingly persistent and wildly handsome alpha named Louis. Louis Tomlinson is a workaholic who was forced into taking annual leave by his boss. He doesn’t love the idea of leaving work for so long so he gets drunk and buys a trip to Tahiti on a whim. When he meets the gorgeous omega, Harry, he finds a purpose for this trip after all. -- OR the one where Harry and Louis both go on a trip to Tahiti and meet on the plane.

Here Where Life Beats by MarWritesStuff (Ta_Ma)/@marwritesstuff | [42.9k]

Harry is a single mum who moves to London for a new job and fears that the move might be affecting his four-year-old pup too much. But when Noah starts at his new school, they meet Louis Tomlinson. A sweet alpha who seems to be almost too perfect to be real.

Rooms on Fire by softfonds/@softfonds | [34k]

Ten years ago, Louis helping Harry through a heat was the start of a romance that ended in heartbreak. Now, Harry's marriage is over thanks to his husband's very public infidelity, and Louis is fresh off a Golden Globe win. The last thing they both expect is to be cast in the same movie.

everything of mine is yours by blueskiesrry/@blueskiesrry | [33]

"Did you two have a good time?” Harry in his bathroom, brushing his teeth with frizzy hair and tired eyes. Harry on the couch cuddled up with Posy, cradling her in the crook of his elbow, humming a soft song. Harry laughing with his friends in a pub on a Friday night, a flower field in his eyes. Harry in his bed tucked under the covers, naked against fresh sheets like a shock of moonlight cutting through a storm. “Yeah,” he says. “We did.” or: With Harry in New York finishing up his PhD and Louis in London working as a solicitor, they try to navigate their eight year situationship including almost-daily phone calls, the occasional indulgence of casual phone sex, and endless gossip sessions as the feelings they have for each other get harder to ignore.

Subtletys by thinlines/ @gaygodlou | [32k]

The alpha wanted to run, to sprint from the room and throw himself into the campus traffic, but he remained frozen and barely breathing as the omega pressed the tapes down, keeping the pressure soft and gentle. Everything about Harry was soft and gentle, even when he was furious at Louis. “Can you—” Breathe, don’t panic. “Are you done?” He bit back a hiss when Harry’s fingers danced over the edge of his bondmark spot yet again. OR Alpha Louis is trying to perfect the art of pretending not to care for his volleyball team manager. Let's all assume he isn't headed for failure.

Have You Coming Back Again by whoknows/ @crazyupsetter | [31k]

It’s five o’clock in the morning. Louis has a lecture at half eight. He could be using this time to study or to do his readings or to go to the gym, but - well. He doesn’t have any exams coming up, he’s not going to his seminar today anyway and he hates the gym. Instead he’s using this time to fuck with Harry Styles’ poor little brain. Louis jogs across the street and jabs the key into the car door. It opens easily, not that he was expecting anything else. He copied the key for a reason, after all. He’s got Harry’s schedule memorized, more because the guy keeps following him around than anything, so he doesn’t bother looking around before climbing behind the wheel and setting his bag on the passenger seat. It’s a Monday, which means that Harry doesn’t even get out of bed before noon unless he’s planning on harassing Louis.

Lost But Won by 2tiedships2/ @2tiedships2 | [16.5k]

“If you start out by talking about your weekend of golfing I swear to god I will stab you with a pen,” Louis said by way of greeting. “You’ll have to give me a few minutes though so I can see if I even own a pen. But the warning stands.” “Hello to you too, dearest Louis,” Niall yelled from where he still sat on the couch next to Harry. There was a clunk on the floor and what sounded like shoes hitting the wall as Niall announced, “We have a guest. You might want to save stabbing me until you don’t have a witness.” “Well if they are obsessed with golf then…” Louis trailed off as he made his appearance in the living room. Harry’s mouth dried up. This was not the alpha that Niall had described. When Harry loses his passport after a weekend trip to see Niall, the inconvenience of being stranded in America becomes a little more bearable after meeting Louis. Or a lot more bearable.

At your service, for you usage by HoldingOnToChaos/@holdingontochaos | [16k]

Louis is a doctor who works so much that he has barely any time to himself for pleasure, let alone to clean his house so he hires Harry as his naked maid and kills two birds with one stone.

who's that girl? by vintagehistories/@adoredontour | [13.7]

“So, do you want to tell us a little bit more about why you’re here?” “What do you mean?” Harry asks, furrowing his eyebrows together. “I’m here because I need a place to live and you guys need a roommate.” “I guess let me rephrase that,” Leo (or maybe Liam) says. He taps his pen twice against the notepad, drawing Harry’s attention away from a large hole in one of the walls. “Why do you need a place to live?” “Oh, that’s easy.” Harry sits up straighter in his seat. “I walked in on my boyfriend of four years banging my boss. I couldn’t very well keep living with them, could I?” harry is canadian, louis owns a bar, zayn comes and goes as he pleases, liam's just trying to keep everyone alive, and nobody knows what niall does. a new girl au.

It's halftime. Are you ready to go? by momentofclarity/@gaycousinlarry | [12k]

Reason #12 - Because it's halftime. Harry would like to think that he doesn’t know how he got himself into this. Only… he’d be lying. Because he knows exactly how he got himself into this. Oh man, does he know, and it’s all because of a certain Louis Tomlinson. Alternatively - football is gay and Harry is trying to cope.

Tuxedo Dress-Up by Blaaake/ @newleafover | [11.9k]

Louis is an aspiring song writer by day, a make up artist for drag queens by night, and masquerading as a full time real estate agent for his third most famous (and first most handsome) client Harry Styles. Or, five times they fail to fuck in a closet, and one time they get it right.

Smells Like TEAM Spirit by persephoneflouwers/ @persephoneflouwers | [10.7k]

Punk Louis and quarterback Harry have been secretly dating for years. Feeling overwhelmed by his commitments, Harry suggests a short break, fearing he can't give Louis enough time. As Louis reflects on his vulnerabilities, Harry struggles on the field without him.

every day and tomorrow night by justanothershadeofblue (zjofierose)/ @justanothershadeofblue | [8k]

Harry stares. The new boy is beautiful, there’s no other word for him. He’s got caramel brown hair in a tousled cut and cheekbones for days, skin that’s tanned a deep gold, and eyes a shade of blue that’s visible even from across the room. He’s standing with his hands on his hips and one knee slightly bent, his thighs thick where they extend past the ragged hem of his denim shorts. His biceps are defined and his hands look small but capable, and Harry’s mouth is quite literally watering. “What’s his name?” Harry asks, without taking his gaze off the boy in the doorway. He doesn’t want to blink and miss a single moment of eye candy. Zayn chuckles. “See something you like, then?” “You know the rule, Z,” Harry answers, still not pulling his eyes away from this unexpected Adonis. “If I lick it, it’s mine.”

Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover by lovingstheantidote/@lovingstheantidote | [6.7k]

Harry laughs. He actually giggles until Louis sucks behind his ear and surprisingly turns that giggle into a little moan. And oh, god, does Louis want to make him do that again. “Pasta shape, Harold. Sure you’ve got one yeah?” More tiny breathy kisses. Warm air on Harry’s long neck. He feels Harry smiling as he switches sides. He thinks about all the other long parts of Harry’s body. Will he get to touch them, get to suck them too? or Louis is infatuated by the hot new pasta chef. He gets so much more than just dinner.

Wish You to Ashes by LetTheMusicMoveYou/@letthemusicmoveyou28 | [6k]

There in the middle of the candle triangle on Harry’s dining table, is the source of all Harry’s turmoil. His ex, Louis Tomlinson, in all his glory. Literally. Louis is sat on his bum looking confused, not a stitch of clothing on him. It takes him a few beats to comprehend what’s going on as well, and when he does he attempts to cover his crotch with his hands. ”Harry?” He glances around the kitchen then. “What the fuck?” Harry shrugs, a bit helplessly. “I don’t know. I was trying to banish you, not summon you.” Louis narrows his eyes. “Banish me, really? Very mature Harry.” (Or the one where witch Harry is heartbroken, and resorts to a risky spell to rid him of his ex. It doesn’t exactly go as planned).

tastes so sweet by 28goldensfics/ @28goldens | [5.6k]

louis is information desk mates with harry at the aquarium and has grown quite fond of the way he talks and the way his mouth moves. but louis thinks if harry doesn’t stop sucking on those stupid, cherry, heart shaped lollipops, he might have to do something about it.

Let the Feeling Last by allwaswell16/ @allwaswell16 | [5.5k]

Omega Harry thinks the alpha at the grocery store buying a cart full of vegetables must be an amazing chef. He doesn't know that Alpha Louis is feeding all those vegetables to his pet pig.

Turning into something else (day 28) by cwrote/ @cwrotes | [5k]

“Louis has been having very strange nightmares for the past few nights, in which he is attacked and devoured by a beast with abundant hair and sharp teeth that triples his size. It's the same dream every time night falls: he stands in front of his bedroom window, under the moonlight, with his hair standing on end and a racing pulse that catches the attention of the creature lurking and assaulting him over and over. He thinks it's all in his head when he wakes up in his bed bathed in sweat, but things start to get complicated when paranoia finally takes hold of him. Or where Louis is suffering from nightmares in which he is preparing to be abused by a huge beast capable of tearing him apart.”

Only Angel by starryhaze/ @starryhaze28 | [5k]

“If I’m an angel, what does that make you?” The angel asks. “A sinner,” Louis answers. ʚɞ or the one where Louis is in Japan and stumbles upon a boy wearing angel wings

Stars over Amsterdam by HelloLovers13/ @hellolovers13 | [4.7k]

Louis remembers how stressed they were, trying to get tickets at all. The waiting for the email with the code, which only Louis got, the actual On-sale. How Harry stood behind him, peeling at his nails nervously. Trying not to distract Louis. But it had all gone smoothly and he had gotten the tickets within just a few minutes. Harry had jumped around Louis’s chair in excitement like a bouncing ball. Already starting to plan their outfits. A gold fringe dress for Harry, Fearless was his favourite album, after all, and a matching shirt he had found online for Louis. So people could tell right away they were an item. That was their plan. Before it all went to shit. or Fate in form of Eras Tour tickets forces Louis to meet up with his Ex. Hopefully soon to be Ex-Ex.

Miracle Massages by red_panda28/ @red-pandaaa | [3.5k]

It took some effort, but Harry finally got his mouth to cooperate. “Wanna take a bath,” he mumbled. “Alright.” There was a small pause. “Are you gonna move?” Louis asked, the amused smile audible in the question. OR Alpha Louis pampering his pregnant Omega, Harry. Featuring nests, a sprinkle of angst, and belly massages

I just wanna be yours (wanna be yours, wanna be yours) by Dreaminrainbows/ @dreaminrainbows | [3.5k]

Harry studies his sixteen year old self’s face for a long moment and it's truly pathetic how in fourteen years nothing has really changed. He's had enormous success throughout the years, has a couple of Grammys to prove it, yet he'd still be Louis Tomlinson’s vacuum cleaner in a blink of an eye. Louis does like his coffee hot and Harry would gladly be his coffee pot. He groans again, throwing his phone to the other side of the bed. He's been trying to get a grip on himself for the past fourteen years, the only grip he's gotten is on his man.

Stuck in Midnight Traffic by LetTheMusicMoveYou/ @letthemusicmoveyou28 | [2.9k]

The curly haired man sniffles again, but the tears seemed to have stopped for now at least. “I was supposed to spend Christmas Eve with my boyfriend, that is until we got into a horrible fight.” He seems to wince at his own words. “I guess I should start getting used to calling him my ex-boyfriend. But anyways, we just couldn’t stay there any longer. Kevin and I had to get out.” Louis blinks before looking around the empty tube car confusedly. “Kevin?” The man nods and then squeezes a little tighter to the little potted plant clutched in his arms. “Kevin is a Christmas Cactus, but he doesn’t bloom.” He quickly adds. “Which is completely fine, because I love him just as he is.” Louis’ not sure what most of that means. All he does know is that he needs to make sure this strange, beautiful creature is never sad again. (Or the one where two broken people meet in an empty tube car on Christmas Eve. Can they find a way to heal each other?)

What’s in a Name by HelloLovers13/ @hellolovers13 | [2.6k]

Louis had always known Harry was his soulmate. The name on his arm disagreed. But what did his soulmark know about true love anyway.

little alpha by DaddyAlphaLouisBabyOmegaHarry/ @bottomhaztoplou | [2k]

Harry's not a typical alpha, but he doesn't care as long as he has Louis.

I long for that feeling to not feel at all by ineverateakiwi/ @ineverateakiwi | [2k]

When he is not around and Harry needs to feel more grounded, steady on his own feet, he thinks of Louis. It's probably not healthy to rely on someone this heavily, but it's better than nothing. It's what he has right now. And, right now, it's working. Is thinking about that feeling, the feeling of being real, being alive, that he whispers – without thinking – those two words. — "Hurt me." Harry needs to feel something, even if it's pain. Louis gives what he needs.

Gotta Feeling by allwaswell16/ @allwaswell16 | [2k]

When Harry's life in Manchester isn't turning out the way he thought it would, he decides to visit his best friend in Mexico City. Maybe Niall can convince him to move halfway around the world.

Coming Home To You by TiredTiredTz/ @tiredtiredtz | [807]

When Louis Tomlinson passed suddenly at 82, Harry Tomlinson didn’t know how he’d survive even one day without him. Seven years later, Harry is getting tired.

Hope you enjoy the amazing work of our very talented authors.

Please please please leave COMMENTS and kudos!!!

You are the force we need to continue!

Happy reading!

#monthly fic rec #august fic rec #hlcreators #hlficlibrary #trackinghome #tracksintheam #trackinghappily #1dficvillage #hljournal #larry fic #larry fics #fic rec #larry fic rec

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a-reader-and-a-writer · 2 months ago

Text

AI-Less Whumptober 2024 Masterlist

Thank you to @ailesswhumptober for hosting the event! All of this year's prompts can be found here.

This year is a collaboration with @ohtobeleah so we will be splitting the prompts between us. Links to her fics will be included below as well, and I highly encourage everyone to check them out too! 💞 Her's will be listed in orange while mine will be listed in purple.

October 1 - public torture/public use, stress position, “If you cry, we’ll go easy on you.”

My Lover, My Hero After a nasty break-up with your Ex, Rhett, he comes to your rescue when two burley patrons don’t take no for an answer. {Rhett Abbott}

October 2 - Unfortunate fall, car accident, “Don’t move. You’ll be okay.”

An Angels Discretion When Bradley gets a call to say you’ve been involved in a major car accident, his whole world is turned upside down. {Alternate Ending to An Angels Discretion}

October 3 - Shared trauma, survivor’s guilt, “It’s not your fault.”

Protect Thy Saviour When Jake and Hollywood are enjoying a fire in the comfort and silence of Jake’s courtyard, Hollywood reminds Jake that nothing was ever his fault. {From the Bruises Series}

October 4 - Painful transformation, non-consensual body modifications, “You’re a monster.”

For What You've Done Five months ago, the love of your life was killed in a car accident. In the aftermath of Jake's death, you and Rooster lean on each other to deal with your grief and soon become a couple. So when you suggest a camping trip together, Rooster agrees. After all, what’s the worst that could happen?

October 5 - Overstimulation, migraines, “I can’t take this anymore.”

Breathe For Me The love of Jake’s life is plagued with chronic migraines after an unfortunate work place accident. But when a migraine feels wrong? Does Jakes initial response cost him his most priceless wife?

October 6 - Multiple whumpees, self sacrifice, “I’m the only one who can do this.”

Drink With Me (Part 2) Two years after Jake was forced to watch you ripped apart by the creatures that now terrorize the world, he is a shell of the man he once was. However, a familiar voice calling to him in the dark may give him a second chance.

October 7 - Field medicine, running out of supplies, “Hold on, we’re going to have to improvise.”

The Hills Have Eyes Jakes mind plagues him with haunting memories at your funeral. Bradley is forced to come to terms with the fact he'll be Jake Seresins metaphorical punching bag for the rest of his life. {From the Bruises Series}

October 8 - Rope burns, gagged, “You’re so much prettier this way.”

Lethal Weapon During an intense interrogation, your existence is made obsolete when half the population is turned to dust. What felt like a mere five minutes was in fact— five years. With the knowledge that Hydra was once again rising with intentions more sinister then the last, you do the job you were originally sent out to do. Protect Sargent James Buchanan Barnes at whatever means necessary.

October 9 - Hypothermia, heatstroke, “You look pretty pale.”

Frozen Jake is so intoxicated he forgets he played a life-threatening prank on you. Leaving you to freeze, for hours.

October 10 - Self worth issues, pushing away a loved one, “You don't need to earn this.”

The Secrets We Keep You have a patient booked in for an early ultrasound….What you don't expect is for it to be the new partner of your Ex-husband. Bradley Bradshaw.

October 11 - Hallucinations, truth serum, “Why would you even say that?”

This Moment Waking up with you in his bed should be a dream come true. But as you get ready for the day, Logan wishes things could be different.

October 12 - Isolation, sensory deprivation, “Can you feel me? I’m right here, whumpee.”

Blood Runs Thicker Than Water Charles and Logan, already in a Days of Future Past quests, take a detour when Charles feels another mutant in the Pentagon.

October 13 - Whumpee using themself as bait, defiance, “Take me instead.”

The Guys Next Door When your son shows up on Jakes door scared and all alone, he soon realises that something might be wrong at his neighbours home.

October 14 - Seizures, concussion, “See if you can follow my finger with your eyes.”

Sweeter Than Revenge Part 10 Just as you begin to think your life is perfect, a traumatic event occurs that changes everything.

October 15 - Waterboarding, removing body parts, “Don’t break down on me yet.”

The Middle Of Nowhere: First Steal There were many other girls before Little Fox. Jake has a reputation for getting carried away and letting his prey escape. This is the first time Bradley stole the win out from under his nose.

October 16 - Drowning, hostile environment, “I don’t know how anybody could survive that.”

Happy Together From the moment Tyler met you in your karaoke bar, he was smitten. However, he's terrified to tell you how he feels even as you start a friends-with-benefits situation. Will he find the courage before it's too late?

October 17 - Abandonment, misunderstanding, “Why did I even think you cared?”

Where Were You? You were planning a future with Rhett. That is until he disappeared without a trace. Now, four years later, a familiar figure shows up at your house after you are in an accident. But will you accept his explanation for where he's been?

October 18 - Mind control, possession, “Everybody will end up despising you.”

I Love You, Always When an unknown man comes into the cafe looking for who he calls “The Mutant” Logan’s world is once again turned upside down when you make the ultimate sacrifice.

October 19 - Disassociation, losing a sense, “I wish I could get you back.”

Addicted To You Kidnapped and locked in a room for months, your life has become nothing but Hood, the drug he gives you, and the pleasure you receive from both. But this time when it is time for your next dose, Hood is nowhere to be found...

October 20 - Enemy/Stranger to caretaker, accidental de-aging, “I’m absolutely not qualified for this shit.”

Nobody Can When a killer clown guts you like a fish, Bob is the one who stumbles upon you. Only to never come face to face who the person who did this to you.

October 21 - Drugged, ambulance ride, “This will make you feel better, okay?”

Animal Instinct When Rhett goes out hunting the wolf that has been killing the Abbott's livestock, he discovers more than he bargained for.

October 22 - Forced (to kneel/watch/hurt somebody else), whipped, “Do not look away.”

Do Not Look Away After the events of Bruises, Bradley comes face to face with his new reality. You’re experiencing a physical manifestation of PTSD and Jake’s still in a coma.

October 23 - Fever, passing out, “Hey?! Stay with me, okay?!”

Stay (Part 1) Once again, Bob finds himself dragged along to the club with the rest of his friends. Miserable, and unable to find the only person he really wants to spend time with, he decides to head home. But he's about to discover where Jake has been all night...

October 24 - Deconditioning, relapse, “It’s normal that you need more time.”

Seeing Clear Now that you are back from the dead, you wonder how Clark is handling what happened. However, when Dick tells you no one knows where he is, you decide to track him down and show him you have returned.

October 25 - Humiliation, betrayal, “How could you?!”

I Got You A night at The Hard Deck takes a dire turn when you realize someone has slipped something into your drink. As the drugs begin kicking in, you turn to your pilot for help.

October 26 - Electrocution, burning, “This is going to sting.”

Burning Love When you and Bucky are captured, HYDRA scientists try to force you to use your powers to kill him. But you refuse to hurt the man you love, regardless of how much pain it may cause you...

October 27 - Before vs after, Alternate universe, “Well, there’s a first for everything.”

October 28 - Internal bleeding, needles and stitches, “I didn’t think the wound was that bad…”

Dangerously in Love (Part 2) After witnessing your murder on a video call, Frank's only focus is on revenge. But he's about to learn that things are not always as they seem...

October 29 - Ownership, branding, “Everybody will know that you’re mine.”

October 30 - Poison, delirium, “You’re not making sense.”

Stay (Part 2) Jake thought he died in that alley after he was mugged. But thanks to a special someone, he pulled through. And when Bob brings him a gift more precious than his own life, Jake does what he should have done a long time ago.

October 31 - Panic attack, facing a phobia, “You need to get out of here!”

Sweeter Than Revenge Epilogue As you begin to head home after your traumatic night, you discover Tyler's concerns were valid. But can you learn to overcome your fears when your greatest fear might still come true? Are things truly over between you and Tyler?

#ailesswhumptober2024 #ailesswhumptober #masterlist #whumptober #whumptober 2024 #top gun #top gun maverick #top gun: maverick #jake hangman seresin #hangman #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster #twisters #twisters 2024 #tyler owens #whump

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sadhornydemons · 15 days ago

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Rough Timeline

This will be LONG, and hence under a cut, referencing key moments in the character's lives, before and during the run of the show. It will be on sliding scale as the story line moves on. Visuals and character quotes regarding dates, events or the passing of time will be noted. Educated and uneducated guesses will be made within parentheses.

Pre Show:

36+ years ago: Stolas is born.

Age was referenced by official sources

(Roughly) 36+ years ago: Stella is born.

(Assuming she is around the same age as Stolas)

36-30 years ago: Blitzo and Barbie Buckzo are born.

(Twins, ages unknown but Blitz is suppose to be in his 30s and does not appear to be older than Stolas)

36-30 years ago: Fizzarolli is born.

(He appears to be roughly the same age as the twins)

30-25 years ago: Moxxie is born.

(Age unknown but is younger than Blitz and around his wife's age)

27+ years ago: Millie is born.

Truth Seekers episode, Millie states to Loona: "I'm, like, five years older than you."

25+ years ago: Stolas has his 11th birthday where he is given the Grimoire, informed of his engagement to Stella, and presented with Blitzo as a playmate present for the day, after seeing him preform at the circus.

The Circus episode directly states "25 Years Later," when it flashes forward to the night Blitzo and Stolas meet again as adults.

22+ years ago: Loona is born.

Seeing Starts gives a flashback that shows Loona was adopted when she was a month away from turning 18. In Western Energy, Blitz mentions there be a five year wait for her hellbies shot, presumably he made the reservations soon after adopting her.

18+ years ago: Stolas and Stella are married.

(Octavia will born the following year, assuming that the engagement was made when they were children, it's highly likely they were married when both became of legal age and expected to birth the "precautionary heir" asap)

17+ years ago: Octavia is born.

The Circus episode, Stolas states "..the only thing the Goetia family wanted from our marriage is already 17."

At some point: Fizzarolli wins Mammon's Clown pageant, hence becoming the new face of his brand and merchandise.

MAMMON’S MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL episode: Ozzie says "This is the tenth year in the row that you've done this stupid pageant" to Fizz. (Fizzarolli may have, justify, taken a few years off after his accident and started preforming in the pageant again later. Because a robot Fizzarolli is present at Loo Loo Land during that episode's flashback, it appears that he became Mammon's new mascot prior to the last ten years, unless it is merely a writer's timeline error)

15 years ago: Fizzarolli is severely injured on his birthday party, by an accidental fire caused by Blitzo which also kills Blitzo's mother.

Opps episode: Blitzo says to Fizz: "We've been in each other's relative vicinity TWICE, in the last FIFTEEN YEARS!"

12+ years ago: Stolas, Stella and Octavia visit Loo Loo Land, Blitzo is seen working there, as well as the robot Fizzarolli.

Loo Loo Land episode: Octavia replies "I'm not five anymore," when her dad brings up their past visit.

10 years ago: Fizzarolli begins a winning streak at Mammon's annual clown pageant.

MAMMON’S MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL episode: Asmodeus states "This is the tenth year in the row that you've done this stupid pageant" to Fizz. Also, during the show's opening, Fizz is referred to as "Mr. Ten years."

12-5 years ago: Blitz works as Verosika Mayday's bodyguard and they start a romantic relationship that ends badly.

(When don't know when this takes place, but it is likely after Blitz leaves Loo Loo Land and before he adopts Loona, as Loona is unaware of their relationship)

At some point: Fizzarolli meets Asmodeus and the two begin a secret romance.

5+ years ago: Blitz adopts Loona.

(Again, we are assuming he makes the hellbies shot reservation, which takes 5 years, soon afterwards)

At some point: Blitz begins working as an assassin.

5-2 years ago: Moxxie is abandoned by his boyfriend Chazwick Thurman during a heist and meets Blitz is prison, where Blitz offers him a job working for him.

Blitz mentions a babysitter at home, so this is after he adopts Loona.

At some point: Millie and Chazwick will be in a relationship that ends badly. It is unknown if this is before or after he was with Moxxie.

2 + years ago: Blitz meets Millie and hires her.

Ghostfuckers episode: In referencing the time prior to IMP opening their office, Millie reminisces "That year I spent getting to know your ragtime team and making our mark in the assassin game."

1+ years ago: Moxxie and Millie are married.

In Ozzie's episode, they are celebrating their one year anniversary. In the Exes and Oohs episode, Millie is shown with long hair in a wedding photo, while in the Ghostfuckers episode, it's the regular short length when they open I.M.P.

1+ years ago: During Stolas's and Stella's anniversary party, Blitz sleeps with Stolas and steals the Grimoire book, letting Stella know about the affair during his exit.

1+ years ago: Blitz opens I.M.P. in the Pride ring and they switch to offering services to kill people in the mortal realm rather than Hell.

The Ghostfuckers episode shows that Blitzo didn't officially start the I.M.P. until after he had obtained and had use of the Grimoire. Full Moon episode: Blitz mentions attempting to keep the book "another year."

Post Show:

(Dates, holidays and seasons will be noted, but not set in stone as the show as a way of blending time and space. Calendars may be ignored as they tend to become inconsistent, even within the same episode. Not all show events will be noted, just the main ones for the primary ongoing story lines.)

1+ year ago - Several months ago: Murder Family episode Stolas makes the Full Moon deal for the grimoire.

Stolas mentions allowing Blitz to "access the mortal realm less than legally for some time now", this could mean I.M.P. has been in operation from several weeks to several months.

(We know I.M.P.'s client, Mrs. Mayberry died on January 8th. A montage follows, showing her target, Martha, recovering from the accident and receiving praise and donations from the public)

1+ year ago - Several months ago: Loo Loo Land episode

Stella and Stolas are shown fighting about the latter's anniversary party affair, but based on Octavia's comments, "Are you two done screaming for the day?" it appears to be a regular occurrence, rather than a direct reaction to something that just occurred.

Spring/1+ year ago - Several months ago: Spring Broken episode

"Spring Break" is mentioned for both Earth and Hell, in the United States, this is usually held in March to April. Verosika makes a cruel reference to Blitzo's sister being in rehab.

1+ year ago - Several months ago: Cherubs episode

(Earth's outdoors appear to be in the Fall, but a mall has Santa (Sadly, these two thing occurring at the same time aren't unusual these days). It's also possible the Cherubs can time travel or these are just mere gags...MOVING ON.)

September or October/1+ year ago - Several months ago: Harvest Moon episode Stella hires Striker to assassins Stolas, which is foiled by the members of I.M.P.

Harvest Moons typically occur in September, but also occasionally in October.

1+ year ago - Several months ago: Truth Seekers episode Blitzo and Moxxie are kidnapped by agents of D.H.O.R.K.S. The agents are defeated but left alive with footage of I.M.P. and Stolas.

Several months ago: Ozzie's episode Moxxie and Millie celebrate their one year anniversary. In order to stalk them, Blitz invites Stolas on a disastrous date that causes Stolas to reconsider their arrangement. In what appears to be the following morning, Stolas tells Stella he is moving forward with the divorce.

The events of Loo Loo Land are referenced and appear to be recent.

In the weeks that followed: Seeing Stars episode Stella has moved out of the mansion. Loona meets Octavia after she runs away.

Based on the text message exchange shown in Western Energy, this appears to be the first month that Stolas gives Blitzo the chance to skip their Full Moon meetups after the events of the Ozzie's episode.

Two months later: Western Energy episode Striker makes another assassination attempt on Stolas, who becomes aware that Stella hired him.

The previously mentioned text messages show that they've now skipped 2 more Full Moons at this point.

July: Unhappy Campers episode Blitzo has a sad reunion with his twin sister, Barbie, in which she informs him that she never wants to see him.

The episode takes place over a week and a flyer references one of the last days being July 17th. A nurse states Barbie checked out of rehab several months ago. (Note, this episode was released between Western Energy and Opps, but does not make any direct reference to any other ongoing story line, hence I believe if the July date contradicts with any other information, it could be moved around the timeline, but I'm leaving it here for the present time.)

(Roughly) 1 week or 3 days after the events of Western Energy: Oops episode Stolas has a meeting with Asmodeus in order to obtain the realm-traveling crystal for Blitzo. Blitzo and Fizzarolli talk and rebuild their friendship after being kidnapped by Crimson and Striker. Striker is burned in the progress of their escape. After the ordeal, Fizzarolli allows Asmodeus to give Stolas the crystal for Blitzo.

Striker mentions "having a royal on the ropes just last week". (Note, in Western Energy, Stolas's phone originally has a reminder that the meeting would take place in 3 days. The meeting could have been postponed on account of Stolas being hospitalized, or "last week" could be referring to them entering a new week after Saturday..but I'm splitting hairs over 4 days, so MOVING ON..)

Days - Several weeks later: MAMMON’S MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL episode Fizzarolli breaks free of Mammon in his final performances at the annual clown pageant. While defending Fizz, Asmodeus reveals their relationship to the public, which Mammon angry states he will "regret."

In Opps, Ozzie makes references to Fizz going to rehearsals to the clown pageant that takes place in this episode. He also calls Blitzo a "recent hero," from the events of that episode.

October 30th - October 31th: Full Moon episode D.H.O.R.K.S. joins forces with the Cherubs, and have build a portal to Hell. Stolas gives Blitzo the Asmodean crystal for traveling to work legally without the grimoire, but his love confession ends in a fight.

The episode begins in the morning and ends after midnight, according to Stola's alarm clock. Blitzo states "it's been a few months" since he last slept with Stolas. Stolas is still shown with a bandaged arm from his injuries that occured in Western Energy.

October 31th: Apology Tour episode Blitzo and Stolas continue to fight. Stolas attends an Anti-Blitzo party, after receiving an invitation from Verosika. Blitzo also attends, where he sadly watches a succubus kiss Stolas.

Verosika's invitation and decor describe her party as Halloween themed, and Stolas comments, "The one day a year the spirits can rise amongst the living.." so we can assume the party takes place on the actual holiday. Blitzo states "we just had a rough night", "last nihgt(sic)" and "this morning" in reference to his fights with Stolas, leading to the conclusion that these two episodes take place over two days.

December: Ghostfuckers episode Blitzo is shown moping, not working and spending all the company's money. After traumatic events and a heart to heart with Millie, he starts to come to terms with the recent events.

Millie references it has been "over a month" since the "not a breakup" of Apology Tour.

(Antarctica, Weeaboo-Boo and Chupacabras shorts were released before this episode, but may occur after, based on Blitzo's behavior, however nothing is confirmed by the creator)

To be continued..

Final notes: As of this writing, it's not very clear how much time has truly passed during the show's current 18 episodes, beyond some more detailed references we've gotten in the second season. The fact that many of the first season episodes can be shuffled around without affecting the storyline has led me to not focus too strongly on the time of year references. Further details may be added to episode descriptions if they turn out to be foreshadowing for future events. Or in other words, this is very much a work in progress.

#helluva boss #helluva boss timeline #there are probably mistakes left in this draft but frankly I'm tired of proofreading/editing it #especially since I'll end up updating it later

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persepinas · 2 months ago

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It's that time of the year again. That time when things get a little colder, a little spookier, a little sexier, and a little more dangerous.

The @vampirefest kinktober event has begun!

For the first day of kinktober, I am sharing a playlist to set the vibe for my contributions for the rest of the month. I have many fics planned to share, and I can't wait to see what everyone else comes up with, from art to fics to edits.

And so, I must ask, is somebody gonna match my freak? Preferably some vampires?

01- Christabelle Marbun - salvation

Let my hands be your chapel

Treat my screams like your Bible

02- Chappell Roan - bad for you

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Oh, forgive me, for I love being bad for you

03- Hozier - talk

Imagine being loved by me

04- Sabrina Carpenter - taste

You'll just have to taste me when he's kissin' you

05- Blondshell - olympus

I'd still kill for you

I'd die to spend the night at your belonging

06- Zolita - bloodstream

When I say I love you

I really mean

Is I wanna be in your bloodstream

07- Beabadoobee - take a bite

It gets harder to breathe

But I take it and I want it and I love when it bleeds

'Cause I'm craving expectations

That are unattainable temptations

08- Gracie Abrams - close to you

And now your mouth is moving, cinematic timing

You pull me in and touch my neck, and now I'm dying

09- Taylor Swift - down bad

"Fuck it if I can't have him"

10- Wet Leg - wet dream

You climb onto the bonnet

And you're licking the windscreen

I've never seen anything so obscene

11- Artemas - i like the way you kiss me

I like the way you kiss me, I can tell you miss me

I can tell it hits, hits, hits, hits

Not tryna be romantic, I'll hit it from the back

Just so you don't get attached (yes, yes, yes)

12- Hozier - too sweet

Don't you just wanna wake up, dark as a lake?

Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze?

If you're drunk on life, babe, I think it's great

13- Elle Lexxa - lucifer

Will you let me play the victim and make me your addiction?

14- Suki Waterhouse - to love

Is there a space somewhere in your world that was always for me?

And was it your face at the back of my mind haunting my dreams?

15- Meg Smith - jesus christ in a mini skirt

I'm sinking in a sea, I swore I'd walk on

I'm trying to be someone you'd want

16- girl in red - I'll call you mine

Break me down

And I'll call you mine

17- Kerli - alchemise

Oh, make me precious

Cast circles, round me out

Burn 'til I purify, baby

'Til there is only love

18- Troye Sivan - bite

I can be the subject of your dreams

Your sickening desire

Don't you wanna see a man up close

A phoenix in the fire

19- Shana Falana - stripped

You're breathing in fumes, I taste when we kiss

20- Foxes - devil side

I can't lie

But I do miss those times

We were on the high

21- Tate McRae - greedy

I see you eyein' me down, but you'll never know much past my name

22- Sam Short - aphrodite

I don't wanna be loved, I just wanna get fucked

I don't wanna get hurt, I just wanna get some

So use your hands to touch my body

Use your words to say you want me

23- Depeche Mode - it's no good

When will you realize?

Do we have to wait 'til our worlds collide?

24- Loveless - middle of the night

I fill you up, drink from my cup

Within me lies what you really want

25- Underground - fantasize

I fantasize about it all the time, If you were mine

I'd give this pussy to you, nine-to-five, five-to-nine

26- Zolita - bedspell

When I get off tonight

I know that I'll be under you

In this bedspell

27- Magdalena Bay - killshot

Oh god

Can you make my heart stop

Hit me with your kill shot baby

I mean it so serious

28- Halestorm - i get off

You could say I am different

And maybe I'm a freak

But I know how to twist ya

To bring you to your knees

29- Rihanna - love on the brain

Oh, and baby I'm fist fighting with fire

Just to get close to you

Can we burn something, babe?

And I run for miles just to get a taste

30- Beyonce - all up in your mind

My eyes, yeah, I really like your smile

It stops the time, yeah, I'll stay here for a while

31- MARINA - power & control

Power and control

I'm gonna make you fall

🩸Listen here. 🩸

#vfkinktober2024 #vampirefest #interview with the vampire #loustat #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #loumand #armandaniel #lesmand #the vampire chronicles #anne rice #iwtv #devil's minion

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accio-victuuri · 11 months ago

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12/30/2023: LRLG Update

i didn’t expect this omg. and so early in the morning? thank you for sending this to us right now instead of 31st and as if yesterday wasn’t busy enough so they do this to us now. i’m looking at the 9:05 kadian tho. maybe they wanted to get that as well.

and it’s so long too! this one is basically your usual scenarios of either them together or talking to each other over the phone. i’m not giving too much commentary, just enjoy it for what it is and this feels like one of those lrlg that won’t make much sense till something happens after. and that’s the best kind of fake rumor, when we think nothing of it now but it turns out to be crucial in the future.

anyway, let us see what’s going on here. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

WYB: "Oh, don't do this"

XZ: "cute"

WYB: "Don't send it"

XZ: "Yeah, okay, okay"

👩‍🦳: "Water soaked astragalus"

XZ: "Looks like cold medicine

👩‍🦳: "The only difference is that this one won't melt."

XZ: "Can this even be eaten?"

👩‍🦳: "Well...theoretically it's possible"

WYB: "It's all soaked in water, so don't eat the dregs."

XZ: "I'm done with your wisdom."

WYB: "You're not allowed to say anything?"

XZ: “I don’t want to be honest and say it directly.”

WYB: "oh".

* I don’t know what the hell they could possibly be talking about here which is normal for LRLG scenarios lol. maybe we will know more as the days and months pass by!

====

XZ: "Didn't you order fruit?"

WYB: “Isn’t it here? You ordered before ordering food.”

XZ: “Who ordered it?”

WYB: "You're not looking"

XZ: "I was looking at what I wanted to eat and I didn't order anything."

👩‍🦳: "Uh...we thought you two ordered it but we didn't."

WYB: "Order now to finish your meal."

👩‍🦳: "Okay, I'll order now"

XZ: "You don't need to eat."

WYB: "My interface can't be switched for that long."

WYB: "I thought you just ordered it."

WYB: "Isn't it because Brother X is not causing trouble here?"

WYB: "But I ordered coffee for you."

WYB: "I will give you some fruit now. It will definitely arrive after dinner."

XZ: "No, I won't eat today.

XZ: “This dish is of a good quality, please try it”

👩‍🦳: “I ordered it before and the boss said it was delicious. I’ll order one for you to try.”

XZ: “The food is average”

WYB: "Hey, it's objective."

* XZ being the picky eater 😂😂😂 it still warms my heart how they make a big deal of having a meal with each other and include the staff.

=====

👩‍🦳: "It's all on the inside and outside. If there's something wrong, I'll correct it directly."

XZ: "Relax, your boss is easy to work with."

👩‍🦳: 😳

WYB: "He's just so easy to get along with now. Once you get to know him, you won't notice anymore.

XZ: I said you.

WYB: Oh

👩‍🦳: you are really good

* I’m cry laughing omggggg 😂😂😂 wyb be clowning and implying that XZ is gonna be a good boss now but maybe more strict in the future. Not knowing that XZ was actually talking about him ( yibo ) being easy to work with. AHHHHHH! Yibo is good boss!!!!

======

this next part is them playing and wyb is like, i will take you ( xz ) to fight. and xz is eye roll emoji. lol. i can’t help but think about that bts where xz says wyb gets happiness over him losing 😂😂😂

======

WYB: Come on, transfer the money

XZ: No money

WYB: Then I'll buy something and you can pay for it on my behalf

XZ: No money

WYB: I have with my strengths

XZ: Then based on my strengths i don’t have money

WYB: You can't keep saying ‘no money’

XZ: Then send it to me

WYB: And then what?

XZ: Then I have money

WYB: Yes

* LOL XZ! No money? aren’t you the god of wealth???

======

WYB: "Is this frozen?"

👩‍🦳: "This is the effect produced by palm wax"

WYB: "Like ice

👩‍🦳: “It’s fun”

WYB: "How many are there?"

👩‍🦳: "Made five"

WYB: "give me one"

👩‍🦳: "For both of you"

👩‍🦳: “With added essential oils”

* here we go again with WYB and his love for candles with essential oils! and i love how the person is talking to immediately offers to give two for both of them, so whoever this is knows about it. we don’t know if the person is their staff or an acquaintance.

and later on, it’s implied that they are on video call

WYB: "Look at the magic"

WYB:“Does it look like it’s frozen?”

WYB:"I asked for one XX for you and gave two."

WYB: "Wait until I send you one and then take one home."

* my god! it’s so cute!!! The mundane things that make them happy and talk about!

then the woman says what she has is not enough and will make more.

====

this next part is full of WYB speaking.

"No, no need to wait, I'll tell you."

“It’s super cold but I’m okay and I can survive it.”

"I've been telling you for a long time. Did you hear me cough?"

"Oh, you are like Wangwang senbei, I can't compare to you."

"If you say it looks good, then it looks good."

“Look at me, look at me”

“is this okay”

“Can you just take a screenshot?”

"What expression should I take later?"

“Did you see what I'm wearing? Can you choose something serious?”

* I’m imagining WYB showing off his outfits to XZ for his recent red carpet events. Even if they are not together, look at them always taking the time to talk and be present for each other 🥹🥹🥹🥹

=====

the last convo is wyb talking to his staff and the topic is someone’s dog and it’s being shown to WYB.

=====

lrlg gives us a small message and talks about the end of the year and how all tasks should be finished, but most importantly they wish us : Happy New Year. Getting better and better!

which is zz and wyb’s usual message and wish for themselves and other people.

-END.

#yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here i’m just clowning i always do #sorry this seems rushed!!! i literally have to take a shower and be out the door lol #what a great day!!!!#they have really been spoiling us in the days leading up to the end of year!

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aesethewitch · 3 days ago

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Year-Ahead Reading Specials

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notiddygothgf · 2 years ago

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𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙔 𝙈𝙊𝙉𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍 !

synopsis: the one where you have the hots for your dealer, and Wakasa is always eager to please a customer. (don't let your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband.)

pairings: wakasa imaushi x f!reader, light takeomi x reader content warning: smut, porn with some plot, car sex, cheating, oral sex, sneaky link, sexual tension, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, sex while high, consensual drug use, mentions of abuse.

ONE: TWELVE THOUSAND YEN

YOU DIDN’T HATE YOUR BOYFRIEND. That would be too far of a stretch. Yet a part of you felt smothered whenever you were around him, like the sparkle you had once been known for dimmed in his presence. You didn’t hate your boyfriend but you felt a little piece of you die whenever his lips would whisper white lies against your own. It was something remarkably strange to behold; that you could feel a sense of resentment towards someone you used to adore, and even more so that you had no idea when or where these feelings began.

If you had to guess, it was probably some time around the end of the honeymoon phase which, ironically enough, had lasted longer than you had expected it to. After the new feelings subsided and the “just because” gifts trickled to a stop, what remained was an empty shell of what your relationship used to be. Empty kisses, empty conversations, empty promises. So why were you still with him? At times, it was a convenience thing. Other days it was because you loved him. It was limbo.

You were drained.

Your boyfriend sat next to you on the couch. The two of you were watching something, some show that you couldn’t recall if your life depended on it. Six long, loving years ultimately led up to this point in time, where the two of you sat side by side watching a shitty television show leaving room for all the conversation in the world – and taking none of it.

A part of you wished you had your own place. You used to dream about living with him. You had no idea, of course, that six years later you would be sitting here regretful you hadn’t decided to be self-reliant and get your own place.

“He said he’s about to pull up right now,” The man finally spoke. His voice was a little hoarse from the harsh words he had shouted at you only a few minutes earlier. “Go outside and meet him.”

You turned towards him. “It’s cold out.”

“Yeah?” He hummed. His eyes remained trained on the TV screen. His remarkable lack of care for you could not be more obvious. “I didn’t ask.”

Feeling put down – the way you usually felt when he was around, no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself – you forced a smile. Reaching for the jacket that you had strewn over the couch just a few hours ago when you had gotten home, you threw it over your shoulders. “Fine.”

You didn’t say bye. You didn’t feel a need to do so. Instead, you stood up and walked over to the front door. Giving it a good, firm tug, you pulled it open and stepped outside. Immediately, you felt the warmth beneath your skin shrivel into hiding.

Pulling the coat tighter around you, you continued the tread down the road in solitude. You weren’t sure what you were looking for.

It was a cold night, colder than most nights this month so far. Far too cold for you to be out here by your lonesome, on some empty sidewalk at 11 or 12 at night. Mildly interested, you watched the hot air from your breath materialize into opaque clouds, grayish white against the otherwise black midnight gradient.

It didn’t take too long before an inconspicuous vehicle pulled up next to you, right up to the curb.

You felt the pace of your heart quicken. You’d seen so many shoot-outs and drive-bys lately. God, what if something like that happened to you? Would now be a good time to start running?

The car slowed to a stop in front of you. Sleek, black, expensive-looking. Nothing at all like you had expected it to look. You swallowed the lump in your throat and, as the window began to roll down, stepped forth.

The face you were met with threw you for a loop. The description of the man your boyfriend had given you did the man absolutely no justice. He had this cute nose, one which complemented his rather feminine features – deep lilac eyes framed by long blonde lashes, perfectly arched brows, strands of hair dyed purple and blonde falling against his face in an almost delicate fashion. You had never had the pleasure of meeting the notorious Waka – the one your boyfriend hated so much. He was… actually really cute.

Waka – who appeared to share a similar sort of confusion with you – looked you up and down. “Sorry, I thought you were someone else,” He said rather plainly, and then began to roll the windows up again.

“Wait!” You cried out. “I’m picking up for him. I’m his girlfriend.”

And down the windows rolled once more. You felt the intensity of his gaze as it raked itself up your now trembling form. When they settled on your face, he made a face, as if to say ‘whatever’, and reached into what appeared to be his pocket. “Just an 8th, right?”

His voice, honey-smooth, made your head spin. So much so, in fact, that you almost completely forgot where you were. “Yeah. 5000 yen, right?”

“That’s right,” He affirmed, extending his hand towards you. You produced the money from your pocket and placed it in his palm, watching his long fingers close around it. He slipped the money into an envelope. Then, with a softer gaze, he turned to you and dropped the bag into your hand. “He really made you wait out here all by yourself, doll?”

After a brief silence, you nodded.

“He sent his girl to get his bud?” He remarked. “I know he’s mad at me, but shit.”

Pulling your little coat tighter around your body, you breathed out. The heat of it formed a small cloud in front of your face. “I’ll be alright.”

The man, taking a brief moment to look you up and down carefully, rested his arm over the car door. “Get back safe,” he hummed.

“Thanks,” you replied. After he rolled the windows back up, you spoke to no one in particular, “You too.”

A week had passed and you couldn’t get him out of your mind. He was very attractive, objectively so. Lord knew you had questionable taste in men these days. No, that wasn't quite it. You were intrigued by him and his quiet charm.

That was it. Your boyfriend’s cohort slash dealer had piqued your interest, that was all.

“Shit, that’s strong.”

Takeomi continued coughing to expel the smoke from his lungs.

The two of you were sat in the middle of his room. On the floor, of course, because his bed wasn’t big enough to fit the two of you side by side. An ashtray was settled between you, along with an ice-blue bong and his favorite black lighter.

You furrowed your brows, directing your thoughtful gaze down to the carpet below. You felt terrible about having these thoughts. It’s not like you would ever act on them, no, not in a million years. But they hadn’t gone away in a week.

hadn’t even bothered to change. He was still wearing his work pants and the same T-Shirt he had come in wearing – a stupid one, at that.

You glanced over at your boyfriend. He was fiddling with the strings of an old guitar. Pinching a mini pipe between your fingers, you tapped the burnt remnants of the bowl you had just smoked into the ashtray.

“Play me something, Omi,” You hummed. You were buzzed. You hadn’t smoked enough to get high just yet. You knew that shit was expensive nowadays – but you were buzzed. “Won’t you play me something nice?”

He didn’t answer you. Instead, he began playing a quiet tune. He fucked up one of the chords and then sighed. “I’m tired.”

“ Tired? ” You smiled. Fake, of course. “From what?”

There was some sort of bitterness between the two of you left over from one of your more serious altercations a few weeks back. To make a long story short, Takeomi hit you. He had raised his hand to you in the middle of an argument – in the middle of the mall – and he’d struck you with such force the hit had left a bruise in its wake.

You had taken him back, of course. You loved him – you thought. Something like that. Whatever it was, you kept coming back for more. Time and time again you had tried to see the better in him, tried to allow him the time to prove that people can change… but still, that sense of disgust you get after being hurt by someone you love never truly goes away, does it?

He sighed. “Work shit.”

Work shit. It was always work shit with him. Never any details. Just Work shit.

You packed another bowl, handing the pipe to your boyfriend.

“Thanks, babe,” he grinned. Holding his lighter up to the green bud, he took a long drag, sucked it in, and then exhaled. “You hungry?”

“A little, now that you ask,” you replied. He offered you the remainder of the bowl. You took it from him but set it on the floor as you quickly decided you didn’t want it anymore. “I could go for a ham sandwich or something like that.” “Sounds good,” Your boyfriend said, voice strained while he sucked in another mouthful of smoke. “If you’re gonna make one, make me one too.”

You paused. “Oh. Okay.”

The corner store was relatively barren, as per usual. So you, a regular, strolled through the aisles with comfortable ease. You weren’t looking for anything in particular, so to speak. You were just looking to spend some money before your shift started.

You liked slow days like this. Nothing really ever happened. Being that your job was so high-paying, you were able to take it easy. You usually started work near the evening time, and you were allowed some days off here and there for no particular reason. The job in question that permitted such a lifestyle was rather demanding, though, but you couldn’t complain. Desperate times had called for desperate measures. After Takeomi had blown all of his money and landed himself in a cesspool of debt, you’d picked up a job to help out.

Carefully, you grazed your fingers over the glass bottles. You’d never been big on beer, but today seemed like a kind of day. So you bent down, letting your black miniskirt ride up because who really gave a fuck these days, and picked a pack off the shelf. Feeling a little better about the whole Takeomi situation now that you had access to means to drown out your sorrows, you sauntered over to the checkout counter.

It took quite a bit of arm work to hoist the heavy pack onto the top, but the minimum wage worker behind the counter did not seem to appreciate the raw display of brutish strength. Standing a few inches above you, she had her arms crossed over the front of her form-fitting uniform. The little brunette smacked on the pink bubblegum stuck in her teeth.

“I’m gonna need to see ID” She mumbled.

Your smile faded slightly. “Sure, okay.”

Reaching back into the pink crossbody purse you had brought, you pulled out your wallet. You popped it open and began quickly flipping through its contents. A few moments spent searching revealed that your Non-Driver’s ID was nowhere to be found.

You felt your heart sink through the floor. “Shit,” you hissed. You flipped through your wallet one more time to no avail. “I don’t think I have it on me.”

“Okay, well,” The girl paused for a moment. You knew she didn’t believe a word that had just come out of your mouth. “You know I can’t sell to you without an ID, right?”

You sighed. “Not even for 2000 yen?”

She stood still, lips pressed thin with her bored eyes resting on your worried face. She didn’t look amused. “No."

26. You were 26 years old, and here you were, still being carded. What made matters worse? The girl behind the counter looked to be at least 5 years younger than you.

“If you’re not buying anything please step to the side,” She waved you off.

What a dick. You still obeyed, of course, but shit.

“You really can’t tell I’m not a teenager?” You thought out loud, more to yourself than anyone else. Not like the girl acknowledged you, but still.

“I’ll be with you in a minute, ma’am,” She replied. She turned the other way, towards the customer who had been behind you in line – apparently. You hadn’t seen him step behind you – and offered in a much nicer tone, “I’m sorry about that. Are you ready to check out?’

“Just this and a pack of Mevius lights,” He spoke.

Finding it a little infuriating that this man was receiving service when you weren’t even finished checking out, you whipped your head around. You felt a strange sensation squeeze your heart when you immediately recognized the man who was checking out.

Standing there at eye level with you – maybe even a little higher – was a man of feminine nature with a pretty face and a pretty nose. His blonde-purple hair was near unmistakable.

He had this cute nose, one which complemented his rather feminine features – deep lilac eyes framed by long blonde lashes, perfectly arched brows, strands of hair dyed purple and blonde falling against his face in an almost delicate fashion.

Waka in the wild. Who would have thought.

Your heart squeezed again when you realized he was looking right at you.

“Hey,” you offered rather lamely.

The pretty man nodded his regards to you, sliding his own ID card onto the countertop. “Hey,” he replied. “Take’s girl, right?”

Part of you was flattered that he’d cared enough to remember you after one interaction. Part of you felt a little let down at the prospect of being reduced to Takeomi’s girlfriend, especially in the presence of such an attractive specimen. But, still, you forced a smile and said. “Yeah.”

The girl at the register placed the pack of cigarettes on the counter, right next to the brown bottle he had given her. From here, you could just barely make out the words on the label; Don Julio.

She pressed some keys at the register and then hummed. “9517 yen.”

Waka took his ID off the counter, tucked it away into his wallet, and then brought forth a black card. “Let me get the beer, too.”

The girl behind the register paused. She glanced between you and the man and then sighed. She typed some more numbers into her stupid little register and added, “12,017 yen.”

She took the card from between his fingers. After a quick swipe and a few more key presses, she handed the card back to him – along with a receipt this time.

“Thanks,” He hummed. Slipping both the card and the receipt back into his wallet, he folded it up and put it back in his pocket. Without much of a signal of departure, he set out for the door, then he paused. As he turned to you, his blond hair slid over his shoulder like silky drapes over a grand window. His lips, pink, plump, kissable, uttered the words, “You coming?”

And come you sure did (pause).

You speed-walked out of the store, right alongside him.

When the two of you were a safe distance away, he dropped the case of beer into your arms.

“Wait, hold on,” you said, fumbling for the opening of your purse while simultaneously trying not to drop the beer on his foot. “What was it, 2500 yen?”

He braced his hand on the beer box, helping you steady yourself. When you returned your gaze to his pretty face, he was shaking his head. “Don’t worry ‘bout it,” he muttered.

You froze for a moment, hand still stuck in your purse. “You sure?”

“Positive,” he replied. When he saw you stumble a bit trying to regain your posture, he reached for the box of beers again. “You got a pen?”

“Yeah, sorry,” you nodded. You searched for a pen, which you then placed in his hand. You let him put his hands on the box. “Thanks. For everything.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said rather noncommittally. He was scribbling something on the beer box. After recapping the pen, he handed it back to you. “I’ll see you around.”

You couldn’t quite see what he had written, and you had barely had enough time to strike up a conversation, let alone ask the man what he had just scribbled on your beer box. So, instead, you watched the man take a few steps back and hop onto a bike – his bike, you assumed, as it looked like he was the one who had parked the thing there. It was still running.

He turned his head to look you up and down one more time. “Oh,” he added like it was an afterthought. “Tell your man I said hi.”

God, his voice made you weak at the knees. Fighting the heat that threatened to take over your face if you continued looking at the soft-spoken man, you averted your eyes to the gravel below – head bowed. “I will.”

You watched him pull off.

Out of sheer curiosity, you turned the beer box on its side to see what he had written.

Then you felt the warmth begin to crawl up your neck and spread onto your face as you spotted a series of digits written there in black ink – a number.

As the sound of his motorbike faded into the night, his words played on repeat in the back of your mind.

I’ll see you around.

#party monster ⋆ ★#notiddygxthgf ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚#tokyo revengers #tokyo rev x reader #wakasa imaushi #wakasa imaushi x reader #wakasa fluff #wakasa smut #takeomi akashi #shinichiro sano #benkei #black dragons #brahman #tenjiku #requests pls

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quietlyimplode · 1 year ago

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the language of flowers and silent things

Whumptober 2023: Day 12 - Red

Warnings: red room talk but nothing graphic

Word Count: 1.3k (gif not mine)

Summary: Yelena receives some help from unlikely sources. Natasha still has her back, despite what she may think.

A/N: (I forget how spoilt I was with no ads, if the anon who gifted them last month, thank you again.)

Masterlist

Whumptober Masterlist

2014

SINGAPORE

“Yelena, where are you?” Saffine shouts into the ear piece.

“Did you do it? Is she dead?”

“Yelena?” Irina asks, “where are you? Your tracker isn’t working. How did you do that?”

Panic suffocates Yelena.

They have safeguards against self harm. Poisons in their bodies that don’t allow them to harm themselves.

Saffine would know something has gone wrong.

Maybe they’d know it’s not her fault.

Choices.

A life with the Red Room, staying until she dies or becomes like Isla, training a new generation of widows and hating herself for it.

Natasha was right.

It’s not a choice.

Despite the connections she’s made in the Red Room and the responsibility she feels for others, she knows, running, escaping, it’s what’s best for her.

A choice like she’s never been given, the irony that it comes from Natasha is not lost on her.

She hates Natasha for it, and loves her all the same.

Looking at the bus schedule, Yelena chooses the one heading to Malaysia, she hears the panic on the line of the other two widows and she knows the punishment that awaits them when they get picked up and returned.

She drops the ear pieces into a teenagers bag, and then; she’s alone.

She knows she can’t think of that now.

People watching as she boards the bus, she calms herself, counting the people around her, and focusing on the time.

Five hours til she arrives and then can work out what to do from there.

Five hours to think about the decision she’s just made.

“Did you really expect her to be here?” Clint asks as they board the plane.

“Yes?”

Natasha’s answer is hopeful as she looks around again. The amount of people around them making it difficult to see faces and disguises.

Clint doesn’t follow her eyesight, instead looks at the bruising on her face, covered by make up but still visible. He’s not sure he wants to face Yelena right now. He feels so angry at the pain he knows Natasha is in.

“She’s not coming is she?”

Clint shakes his head, pulling their passports out and presenting them to flight attendant. He knows he needs to let it go.

“Would you have come with me?”

Natasha almost laughs.

“We both know I didn’t,” she replies.

“She needs time, Natasha.”

She frowns, feeling like she’s been told off.

“Why the full name?”

He shrugs, moving forward in line.

“For emphasis? I’m just saying; that she has no reason to trust you, even with everything that you’ve set up. You want an easy reunion but even you have to admit that when you were out of the clutches, it still took you time to trust me, and it was only because I could give you something you needed.”

He points to their seats and she passes him a bag.

“Give her time, yeah? She may not be ready, or she may have a different agenda to what you think she should.”

She sits and stares into the airport, searching again.

“Yeah,” she says softly.

2014

MALAYSIA

Yelena steps off the bus, and picks up a suitcase from underneath that isn’t hers, but likely is a womans. If anyone stops her she can play stupid.

They don’t though, and she makes her way to the tallest and biggest hotel in the city.

Kuala Lumpur is busier than she remembers when she was here last, but she was only twelve. Maybe under that light, it all felt different.

She checks in with a fake passport, a fake name, and stolen money, and requests a room furthest from the elevator.

“I’m such a light sleeper,” she grins to the lady, who nods and smiles back.

Easy, this is, manipulating people, Yelena thinks as the elevator takes her up.

She opens the suitcase in her room and luckily finds a range of tshirts and shorts to manage in.

Toiletries, medications, shoes that are probably too big, things she’ll need to reset.

Yelena sighs heavily.

She’s free.

She’s not sure why it feels so bad though.

She should be happy, light, pleased with her decision but instead all she feels is dread.

Red hair dye may have not been her best decision. She’s not sure how Natasha blended in so well with being so visible.

It’s strange, not having a mission, not being housed in a facility. The feeling of freedom after being under the rule of someone else feels terrifying.

Yelena doesn’t know what to do with herself.

Knowing they’ll be searching for her, knowing they’re coming, she just can’t seem to move forward, stuck in an awkward limbo of repeating the same day over and over.

She ends up at a small café, orders the same fruit drink and watches those around her.

She brings a book she took from the hotel and pretends to read it, instead taking the time to watch and learn how to be human.

She watches adults walk together, women with headphones walking by, men talking animatedly on the phone.

It’s the children she likes to watch the most.

The little girls who smile easily at their mothers, and the little boys that eat ice cream looking up at their fathers.

Yelena sorts through her feelings, knowing it’s jealousy that boils.

It doesn’t feel fair.

She pushes it down, turning it to anger.

That could have been her, it was her in Ohio.

“Good book?”

The approach of another startles her and even more so when she sees Isla.

Fear pulses through her.

If Isla was here, then so was the Red Room.

“Freedom is a tricky thing, isn’t it?”

She takes Yelena’s hand.

“She told me the tracker was disabled,”

There’s a even cadence of Yelena’s voice, even though she feels like throwing up in fear.

“Oh it is, but honey, you’re going to have to do better to run and hide if you want this to be a permanent thing.”

Yelena stares at Isla.

The Red Room poster girl; a terrifying individual, having cycled through at least twice, probably three times.

“I’m not the bad guy,” Isla smiles, wickedly, sipping her own drink and passing across a package.

“She’s given you an out, and I’m giving you a way to do it.”

“Natasha, she knew, she paid me to help, which is the only reason I’m doing this.”

Yelena opens the package.

Two passports peek out, and Australian one and an American one and a stack of US dollars.

Her heart catches.

“You’ll let me go?”

Isla shrugs.

“Is that what you want?”

Yelena feels her filter drop.

“How am I supposed to know? They said jump and I’d say how high. I don’t want to be theirs. I… this is not real. They made me like this, this shell, and now… now I don’t know; I want them to tell me what I should do, there’s too much grey— too much variability. When you take away the Red Room and what’s left? What’s left of… me?”

Yelena bites down hard on the inside of her cheeks, feeling the intensity of grief bubbling inside and the threat of tears come as she stares down at her drink.

“Sometimes we can’t leave, there’s too much damage. But you should, you might like who you find,” Isla tells her, in a moment of honesty.

“I tried once,” she whispers, more to herself.

She laughs out loud, a manic sound, breaking the introspection.

“If I catch you again, I’m taking you in, and they can do to you what they did to me.”

Yelena feels the insanity in the words.

“What am I supposed to do, now?”

Isla stands, hovers next to her and points out to the people around.

“Become one of them? Be like your sister? Or go the other way? Maybe you’ll like what you become when you don’t have someone pulling your puppet strings.”

She kisses Yelena’s forehead.

“She’s given you an out; I suggest you take it.”

As quickly as she comes, she goes, leaving Yelena with more questions than answers.

#whumptober2023 #no. 12 #red #Yelena belova #natasha romanoff #clintasha #black widow #clint barton #my fic #hawkeye #natasha romanoff fic #Yelena belova fic #clintasha fanfiction #clintasha fanfic #Natasha and Yelena #nat and Yelena #marvel fic #avengers fic

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unhinged-summer-fun · 2 months ago

Text

common grounds (oshamir) - chapter 12

Pairing: Osha Aniseya x Qimir "The Stranger"

Warnings: Heavy emotional themes including reference to past suicidal ideations.

A/N: Divider by me again

series masterlist

chapter 12: visiting hours

“Fun night?”

Osha froze in the middle of taking her boots off. She couldn’t even make sense of what was happening—her mind was still on the doormat outside, damning her dreams and wondering where she went wrong. The burning afterimage of Qimir’s back still rested in her retinas, now fading with each second she stared at the light spilling from the doorway to the kitchen.

She approached Mae slowly, her boots still just a little untied.

Mae must have been waiting a while for her. What other reason would she be sitting at the kitchen table at a quarter past five in the morning?

“Long night. Jury’s out on fun.” She hated that her new instincts dictated that she throw up her emotional walls around her twin sister, but Mae looked just as uncomfortable.

Mae chewed her lip and laced her fingers together beneath her chin. “Who were you out with?”

“What’s it matter to you, Mae?” Osha snapped, leaning on the kitchen doorway with her arms crossed.

“It—” Mae stopped herself, the flare of frustration in her face draining just as quickly as it had come. She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, you’re right. And you were right, last week; I’m not owed information about your life. Not after what I did.”

“So why are you here, Mae?” Osha asked, weary. Her feet hurt, and she needed to get a head start on her bedtime stretching or she’d be suffering before her shift at the cafe in a few hours.

Mae rubbed at her forehead. “I wanted to give you time before we talked again, and it wasn’t—it wasn’t right of me to just pile my stuff onto you right as you were leaving for class last week. I’m sorry for doing that. I know it made an already bad day worse for you.”

She winced at the memory.

Can you just drop it, Mae? For, like, maybe an actual week? You had two years to tell me all about him.

That day seemed like an eternity ago, even though it had just been seven days.

Her apology was, at the very least, sincere. Mae was stubborn; she rarely admitted she was wrong, especially where Osha was concerned. “I’ve gotten over it,” Osha said. “Just… if you want to talk to me about the heavy shit, you could ask me before you just unload it on me.”

Mae nodded, contrite. The silence that followed felt fraught with tension.

“Was that all you wanted to say?” Osha prompted.

Her sister shook her head but didn’t continue.

Irritation flared. She was too tired for this shit. “I’m sick of being punished for not asking you the right questions when you could have spared me all this by just being forthright, Mae.” She pushed off the doorframe, intending to go start her stretches.

“It’s not all I wanted to say,” she said hastily. “And you’re—you’re right, I’m just—let me restart. Please, Oshie.”

She gestured to Mae to continue, to convince her to stay.

She took a shaky breath, knuckles going pale as she squeezed her hands together. “A little over a year after I started training with Qimir, we were leaving the climbing gym near the college one night when Indara saw us.”

Osha took the seat across from her at the table. This wasn’t what she was expecting to hear.

“A… year?”

“Almost a year ago, now. More like eleven months.”

“But… Vernestra only talked to me about it a few weeks ago,” Osha said, frowning.

Mae nodded. “It surprised me when you said Vernestra accused you of that. Because of the time thing, and because Indara knew it was me and not you.”

Not many people cared enough to get to know Osha and her sister well enough to readily tell the difference between them. Sol mistook Osha for Mae about as much as he got it right, and he was their dad. Vernestra could tell them apart, always looking down toward Osha’s ankle before addressing her. In those moments, she wished she would have just been called Mae. For Indara to know the difference wasn’t suspicious, but it was surprising.

“Did Indara tell Vernestra otherwise?”

Mae shook her head. “She told Vernestra it was me that same night, I think. Because Vernestra talked to me like the next morning, and she said she knew it was me, and I was—” Mae exhaled sharply, frustrated.

Mae wasn’t as concise in her words as her sister had to be. It was so easy for others to misconstrue Osha’s words that she had to be careful about how she worded things, lest it come back to bite her. Mae, on the other hand, was a whirwind of chatter who could sweep herself through five different topics in one breath.

“I’m sorry. The more I realize how deep this all got, the more I realize I should have just talked to you. But then things got so complicated…”

Osha ignored the self-pity in favor of more information. “Okay, so Indara told Vernestra it was you, and then what?”

Mae gathered her composure. Osha didn’t blame her for being so mixed up; it was really damn late. “She—Vernestra called me into her office. She asked me what I was doing with him.”

She didn’t question how Vernestra knew it was Qimir—if Indara could tell it was Mae and not Osha, she could tell it was him even after fifteen years. “And you told her?”

“Of course I did, I wasn’t going to—”

Osha felt cruel when she said, “You weren’t going to lie to her?”

But you lied to your sister.

The silent parts of the conversation sat loud between them. Osha’s eyes burned, half from the late hour and half from tears. She didn’t watch Mae’s reaction, but it was so quiet she could practically hear her sister’s heart break. “What’d she say?” Osha asked, voice a little pitchy.

“She… told me who he was.”

Osha’s stomach dropped. Qimir’s voice rang in her ears from what he told her the first day he brought her to his place.

Vernestra mentored me personally and got me ready for competition and tournaments. I was in the ring with her every single day…

Over the four years I trained with her, she managed to convince me that my pain wasn’t real…

They saw the seventeen-year-old killing himself for scraps…

She was responsible for a completely avoidable mistake. It went down as an accident, and she slipped any blame…

I didn’t hear from Vernestra or any of the other trainers at the Temple once.

“What did she tell you?”

Osha watched as Mae realized in real time that she had only been told a critically small amount of the objective truth. She sounded nervous as she answered.

“She told me Qimir Lohar-nee—”

“Lo-harne.”

“Sorry, Loharne—she said he was a disgruntled former gym member who sought to drag the Temple’s name through the mud because he was kicked out for violating gym policy.”

Something in Osha’s eye twitched. “Which policy?”

“I don’t know.”

“And that’s all she told you?”

“That’s—what do you mean?”

“That is so disgustingly far from the truth I can’t even begin to unpack it. Did she tell you he was a seventeen-year-old orphan when he was kicked out of the Temple?” Osha asked, getting heated.

She had to cool her jets. Qimir’s story wasn’t hers to share, as little of it as she knew. Osha knew what it felt like for her business to be made public for anybody to gawk at. She didn’t want to give Mae anything about him that she hadn’t asked him for.

Mae looked pained, wincing. “He didn’t—I didn’t know that.”

“What else did she say? What happened.”

“She told me she paid some press agency to keep him from slandering the gym and that he’d been under the radar for a long time—he used to try to break in after hours for a few years after he was kicked out. She told me that him training me was a sign he was trying to get back into his smear campaign. That I needed to—”

“What, did she want you to spy on him or something?”

Mae’s stricken expression told her all she needed to know. It recontextualized a lot of things she’d heard over the last few weeks—from him and from her.

Ask your sister who I am. Maybe you’ll take the fuck off option next time I offer it.

I had been given, more, well, more hours, kind of, at the gym…

Mae never asked and wouldn’t have believed me if I told her. If she did tell anyone about me, it’s unlikely they’d find me. I prefer it that way.

She recalled how his eyes had sharpened when she told him she’d been looking for him two weeks ago, when she’d stumbled into the Unknown Planet fight night. Mae had put that paranoia there, somehow.

“Mae…”

Her sister spoke quickly, thoughts coming out rapid-fire across the table. “I mean, it makes sense, right? He’d use one of the inside members to finally get his revenge or whatever. And it worried me when he started paying attention to you, and I don’t know what’s going on, but he still might be trying to use one of us to—”

Their first drinks at Unplan. He’d been so playful when she asked—

Are you trying to get me to train with you?

Can you blame me?

Osha shook off the paranoia Mae was inspiring in her. “Stop it.”

“Until that point, I didn’t know anything about him. He didn’t talk about his past.”

“He is entitled to his privacy.”

She went on like Osha hadn’t spoken. “He was super professional all the time. He was a pretty strict trainer, but he was never mean. And I felt… when Vernestra told me what he’d done to the Temple, I felt like I understood why he didn’t want me to know. It felt like he’d like, lured me into training with him to attack the Temple or something.”

Osha rolled her eyes. “You asked him to train you. Nobody made you pay him for that. Don’t rewrite history because someone else tried to sell you the truth of someone else’s life.”

Mae halted in her tirade, jolting in place. “You’re… you do know more about him, I’m guessing.”

“Yeah. Because I didn’t give him a reason not to trust me, Mae, most people tend to be open and honest when they trust you.”

She took the dig with grace. “Yeah, well. You try telling Vernestra no.”

“That’s not an excuse to spy on him to some random person. He’s a human fucking being, Mae.”

She hung her head. “I know that… but Vernestra had all these pictures of him where he just looked so angry, and she showed me these conversations where he kept trying to get these journalists to lie about the gym, all these attempts where he tried hacking the site and her emails…”

Osha leaned in, the chair creaking behind her. “You thought that pictures of a teenager from more than fifteen years ago were enough of a reason to help Vernestra stalk him? He just wanted to be left alone!”

She felt nauseous. Mae looked equally miserable.

“So what happened? She showed you some bullshit and shared her side of the story. What did you do?”

“He… Vernestra wanted to know anything about him. His whereabouts the last few years, where he worked, who he associated with, his feelings about the gym, about her. I knew he assisted at the college already, that’s how I met him, but he wouldn’t tell me if he worked there or anything. I wasn’t good at it. The asking part. He kinda. It was really weird.”

Osha tried not to snap at her sister to get to the point, but the cold sweat of anxiety was making her shiver.

“A few months before I quit, he—I…”

Her self-control splintered. “Spit it out, Mae.”

“I asked him if he remembered what it was like at the Temple.”

Osha held her breath—no, she couldn’t breathe. This was bad.

“And he… he turned so cold the second I asked. He said yes, I do and… he became such a mean guy, after that. He was so angry. He looked just like he did in those photos Vernestra showed me.”

Osha put her head in her hands.

“He still took my money, and he trained me, but he would, I don’t know, yell at me while I trained with him. I couldn’t ask him the things Vernestra wanted to know. She was fine just knowing he was upset, I think. And it was so weird, he’d show up with all these crazy cuts and bruises and injuries. Like he’d gotten into a fight or something—a real fight, I mean.”

“How long ago did you ask him if he remembered?” Tears welled in Osha’s eyes, and she blinked them away before they could fall. She dreaded Mae’s answer, but she already knew it.

“Like eight months before I quit. So about ten months ago, total.”

Your nine-month reigning champion, here to make it ten…

She was going to be sick.

He’d joined the brawl after Mae had—

Fighters in the cage want to fight so badly that they’ll say, fuck the rules, I want someone to pay for the pain I’m feeling.

That cold fury he fought with, the brutality, the violence—

It haunts you, the awareness that your capacity to inflict violence is so close at hand.

Many of us learn it—in lessons taught by the unkind.

“—and it was difficult, but Vernestra wanted me to keep training with him. She made me a shift supervisor and gave me a raise so I wouldn’t quit. Then she—”

“She promoted you because you were spying on him?” Osha asked, still feeling a little outside her body. “Oh my god. This is—Mae, this is insane. She—”

Vernestra was stalking him. Her sister had taken bribes to facilitate it.

Knowing what she knew about his past with the gym, and the hypervigilance that remained with him years later, she was sure that trauma had unearthed itself from the quiet, content life he’d carved for himself out of rock bottom.

“What else?” Osha said, her voice wavering. She realized she was crying.

Mae was near tears herself. “I’m sorry, Oshie,” she whispered. “I’m so so sorry. She told me I was helping the Temple.”

“What. Else.”

“I don’t… I don’t know if I should tell you.”

Her despair mixed with a cocktail of rage. “Why not?”

“I don’t know if I’m… allowed.”

“I’m sure we’re past the point of allowed in this conversation.”

Mae looked pale with stress. “It wasn’t fun training with him anymore. I was tired all the time, and he was so suspicious of me all the time. I think he knew what I was up to—no, I knew, by the end. And then a few months ago—two months ago, I told him I didn’t want to anymore.”

Osha sat with bated breath.

“I stopped us right in the middle of a spar. It was like he disappeared; his eyes went black. I… he was scary, Osha.”

That didn’t sound right. “What did you say to him?”

Mae looked hurt and confused. “I told you, I said I didn’t—”

“Mae, what exact words did you say to him?”

Mae chewed her lip the same way Osha did when she was trying really hard to put the right words together. “I said, ‘This is the last round, Qimir.’”

“You called him by his name?”

Mae didn’t see anything wrong with that, but Osha did.

I never gave that name to Mae.

’Til I was about 20, I went only by Qimir. Then I distanced myself from it as hard as I could, and told everyone my name was Q.

“Yeah, I wanted him to know I was serious. Anyway, he told me he knew what I was up to and that I could tell Vernestra to… well, to go eff herself.” All these terrible actions, and she was still too shy to swear.

“And did you? Tell her?”

“Of course. She accepted that I was done, thankfully. And she…” Misery shone through her eyes like a goddamn lighthouse. “She gave me the junior trainer job to keep me quiet. I didn’t have a choice. She made me sign—Osha, please.”

Osha was pacing the kitchen now. “I can’t fucking believe this. Mae, did you ever stop and think for one second that this man just wanted to be left alone?”

She was a little gobsmacked. “You’re—you’re not mad about the trainer position?”

“Forget about the trainer position, Mae!” Osha leaned on the fridge. “I am so unbelievably—you respected him as your trainer for over a year and threw that all away because Vernestra told you some vague, highly biased story that you instantly believed?”

“I—well, if his reaction to just talking about the Temple was that bad—”

“You asked… you asked him if he remembered what it was like—”

“I didn’t know he’d react like that. I didn’t know!”

“Mae…” Osha felt like she was losing her balance while standing still. All the injuries he must have sustained in the brawls, all the pain he felt—

Fuck the rules, I want someone to pay for the pain I’m feeling—

“Asking him that is like asking me if I remember what it was like in Bestine.”

Mae flinched, face morphing into horror the longer she imagined herself in Osha’s shoes. Osha couldn’t stop, sobbing as she spoke.

“All you technically asked is what it was like, but what I would hear is you asking me if I—” It was hard to get the words out. “—if I remember what the mat smelled like, felt like. If I remember seeing Sol crying. If I remember any of the pain I felt before passing out, and then if I remember any of it after I woke up. If I remember how much everybody hated me for getting hurt. If I remember what an embarrassment I was to all my friends and h-heroes. To my dad. If I remember all the times I wanted to escape it. Permanently.”

“Oh my god,” Mae whispered, covering her mouth with her hand. “Oh my god.”

“Of course he remembered. It was the worst fucking time of his life. Vernestra won’t let him forget it.”

Osha looked at the clock a second before it ticked over to 06:00. Her soul felt like it’d been dragged across glass. Mae cried quietly across from her, and Osha did her best not to stifle her pain. Not this time. Never again.

They both eventually calmed down enough to look each other in the eye. “The man you knew, the professional, the good coach, that’s the guy he fought hard to be. Vernestra doesn’t care; she wants to destroy him.”

“What do we do?” Mae asked, shoulders turned in.

Osha didn’t have the answers. She hadn’t slept, and her emotions were in a fucking crisis. “I don’t know,” she said in a whisper. “I don’t know if there’s anything we can do.”

She reached out a hand, palm-up, to her sister. Mae looked at it like she couldn’t quite believe it for a few seconds before taking it, clasping it like a lifeline. Osha’s heart, fractured and bruised as it was, swelled with the familiar muscle ache that meant healing.

It strengthened her resolve. “Thank you for telling me all that, Mae. A lot of it is… misinformed, but that’s not the point. I just need you to be careful. Vernestra won’t like that I know what’s going on.”

Mae shook her head. “She’s… thorough, that’s for sure.”

Osha wasn’t sure exactly what she was talking about, but nodded anyway, bleary-eyed and half-asleep. “We can talk about this later. I need to sleep.”

Mae smiled. It was a shaky thing, but it was returned, and that’s what mattered.

She called in sick to work before going to bed. She was not in the right headspace to deal with customers arguing that she made somebody else’s drink incorrectly. This is for the best, she thought as she fell asleep.

Her dreams were fitful, chased in a maelstrom by what she’d told Mae and what Mae said to her. It wasn’t nearly as pleasant as the brief dream she’d had in Qimir’s car.

She felt pretty numb by the time she woke up later that evening. The weight of what Mae had told her sat on her shoulders like a yoke—but not so heavy as the weight of her last question.

What do we do?

The idea of doing nothing filled her with indignant fury. She started there: Vernestra could not get away with this. Qimir had the right to live a quiet life outside the scope of her influence—and so did she, for that matter. Neither of them deserved to have lies spread about them, nor did they deserve to become pariahs for a terrible accident.

The issue was that with every inch of the mystery she peeled back, the conspiracy behind it grew ten times more complicated. She couldn’t keep track of it all, but she knew someone who could—someone who probably already did.

Someone with skin in the game.

When Monday morning rolled around, she knew she couldn’t wait until training that evening. She had to bring this to him sooner.

Two things worked out in her favor: she had Monday off because of the decreased hours, and her car was ready to be picked up from the shop. On her way to the community college, she hit a Starbucks drive-thru so she wouldn’t arrive empty-handed.

The admin assistant behind the welcome desk greeted her with a smile. “Hello! Can I help you find anything?”

“Yeah, I’m looking for…” Shit, what was it he said the athletes called him? “Coach Lo. Is he in?”

The admin halted, looking down at their desk and moving a few things to the side. They flicked their eyes up and down between Osha’s face and whatever they were looking at before they relaxed.

“Coach Lo is on sabbati—wait, not anymore. Sorry about that. A little discombobulated,” They grinned sheepishly. “Today’s his office day, but he stepped out to monitor swim practice. Are you on his schedule?”

Sabbatical? When had he gone on sabbatical? Her face must have said something because the receptionist continued.

“Ah, well. He should be done soon—would you like to wait for him in his office?”

“Uh, yeah, that’d be great, actually. But I don’t… this is embarrassing; it’s my first time visiting him at work, and I wanted to surprise him.” She tried to smile sweetly, and assured herself it wasn’t technically a lie. She held up the two coffees like festive cardboard access badges.

The receptionist just smiled. “I can take you there. I’m Cam.”

“I’m Osha.”

They chatted lightly as they walked through several winding hallways and down a gently sloping ramp. “I can’t believe they sent you on a wild goose chase around campus.”

“That’s what it felt like,” Osha sighed. “If I’d been out there any longer, these would have probably become iced coffees.”

They stopped in front of a door with a nameplate that said Q. Loharne, PT, DPT, CREX, LMT… and a whole bunch of other letters that went right over Osha’s head. Beneath his name was his title: Rehabilitation Coordinator.

Cam swiped a keycard to let Osha into his office, and she tried not to cringe at the utter breach of security she was definitely committing.

“He should be finishing up with practice soon, but you can wait for him in here.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m glad you’re here to surprise him,” Cam said. “He’d been pretty wound-tight for a while, and it seemed like he needed that break two-ish months ago. We were all pretty worried when he took it so abruptly, though.”

“Who’s we?” she asked curiously.

Cam’s disposition went from sunny to summery. Their answer tested their lung capacity, and it reminded Osha of Mae with an aching kind of fondness. “Oh, all of us! We love Coach Lo. Last summer—not like a few months ago summer but like laaast summer—I broke four of my fingers playing water polo and he called me an idiot for like three weeks straight including on my birthday but he made sure I’d be able to play volleyball by the time spring came around. He still asks me how I’m doing with it. He’s like that with all of us. If someone asks for his help, he’ll do everything to help them. I’ve never met another trainer like him.”

It warmed her heart. Qimir had really carved a place for himself here. It made the dark cloud hanging over his current situation that much sadder. She peered closer at one of the pictures on the wall: he was on the sidelines of a sporting event, making a completely undignified face while a giant jug of ice water was poured over his back. Wow, he really is a coach.

“I’ve never met anyone like him either,” Osha said when Cam hadn’t spoken up again.

“Sooo, have you been seeing each other long? Coach Lo doesn’t really talk about himself and doesn’t really get visitors but… if it were anybody else but him, you might make the gossip rounds in the athletics department.”

“Huh?”

“It’s kind of a rule. We don’t gossip about Coach Lo.” That certainly wasn’t the case at Unknown Planet. She’d been practically hounded with questions the few times Qimir had left her alone in the gym.

Osha grimaced. “We… yeah, it’s a more recent. Thing. Us.”

“Ah, so past the talking phase and now you’re going on dates and stuff?”

A laugh exploded out of her before she could help it. The what phase? Cam almost started looking suspicious, but she recovered quickly. “He’s, uh, taken me dancing.”

Their eyebrows flew up. “Coach Lo? Dancing?”

“I was surprised, too,” she said, accidentally taking a sip of his coffee and cursing when she left some lipstick on the white lid—okay, just give up on the lipstick, girl. He’s not gonna fuck it up how you want.

“Well, I gotta get back to my desk, but it was really nice to meet you, Osha!”

“You too, Cam.”

And then she was alone. In his office. Holding two festive cardboard cups of coffee and feeling more than a little in over her head. She hadn’t quite thought this out—honestly, she thought she would have been turned away the second she asked for him. She was 90% sure she’d broken some kind of security protocol by implying she was dating him just to get inside.

Oh well.

Maybe he’d be cool with it.

She set both cups on his desk and drifted around the room to resume snooping.

Osha had seen several spaces that belonged to him by now. His apartment, his dressing room at Unknown Planet, and his car were all neat and organized. Every inch had a sense of gratitude to it and from that gratitude, order. Mae and Osha hadn’t been orphaned long enough to have seen the inside of the FDO, but she could guess that scarcity was the norm there.

She would never have guessed this office was his without the nameplate outside telling her so. This space was more Osha’s speed: chaos. Random papers had been left strewn across most surfaces. The remaining space was covered by a truly baffling amount of reference texts, coffee mugs, and stacked file folders. She huffed a laugh at the sight of the dusty, powered-down desktop computer hiding among a pile of random crap, demoted to nothing more than a strange feature of the desk.

She recognized some familiar things: his black backpack, the laptop bag from his apartment, and the jacket he’d worn two nights ago. Everything else was foreign—but exceptionally compelling. Osha took it all in with hungry eyes.

His accolades were displayed with respect on the cement brick walls. There it was—Qimir X. Loharne, Doctor of Science in Exercise Physiology & Physical Therapy, magna cum laude.

“Hot damn,” she whispered to herself. “I barely graduated high school.”

Framed certificates and licenses neatly lined the space around it, a clear point of pride for him. Past that, there were plaques of achievement, awards given in thanks for his work with different groups, photographs of sports teams, and action shots of games. He wasn’t in all of the photos, but she could see his face and recognized the back of his head in a few.

She jumped nearly out of her skin when she realized two news clippings on the wall were much older than the others: the articles Osha had given him from the Temple and Sol’s apartment. Why did he—

Voices came by from down the hall.

“Cam, what do you mean, my girlfriend is in my office?”

Oh god. He’s here.

Two pairs of footsteps echoed down to her, and panic seized control of Osha’s movements. She sat down in the chair behind his desk, only briefly considering how presumptuous it might seem. Another pulse of insanity had her kicking her feet onto the one empty inch of his desk.

Many things happened at once.

He burst through the door, wearing a stricken expression she’d never seen before. He looked younger, but in a way that meant he looked scared. The moment he alighted on Osha in his chair, the fear left his eyes, and surprise took its place. Osha flinched mid-kick, and the integrity of the desk chair failed, sending her flipping backward toward the floor.

The moment seemed cartoonishly long.

She yelped at the same time he said her name, and within that one dizzying second, he somehow caught her. Kneeling beside her, he held her head in one hand and her shoulder in the other—holding her with a gentle strength that would have made her swoon if she were standing. Only the chair had made contact with the floor, clattering loudly behind her head. She winced and blinked at him as the world attempted to right itself.

He still wore that dumbstruck look, and she was sure she looked pretty similar. His usual black baseball cap had been knocked askew, freeing some wisps of hair to frame his eyes. He’d gone from put together to disheveled in the span of a second, all because she couldn’t keep her goddamn balance sitting down.

They remained frozen like that for another long second, and then—

He started to laugh.

It started raspy and grew richer the longer she listened. She’d never heard him laugh like that before—he often just exhaled sharply in amusement or gave a single ha. to whatever silly thing she said or did. It stunned her more than flipping ass-over-teakettle in his desk chair. Once he started laughing, he couldn’t stop.

Osha gave in and joined him when it became clear he wouldn’t let her go anytime soon.

The ridiculousness of her blunder and the sound of his joy cleared away the anxiety of arriving here unannounced. When he finally caught his breath, he looked down at her with the widest smile she’d seen on him yet. “Hi,” he said, voice still hitching with laughter. “Just dropping by?”

When he smiled at her like that, it was hard to remember what it felt like to cry.

She groaned at the pun but couldn’t help giggling along with him.“Hi,” she said. “I, uh, I brought you coffee.” Her heart wasn’t just racing; it was doing acrobatic stunts in her ribcage.

He looked up like he just noticed they were in his office. He saw the festive cardboard cups in their festive cardboard sleeves. “You did.”

She let him fuss over her as he helped her stand—until his face took on a more severe expression that told her he’d gone full injury-assessment mode. “I’m fine!” she insisted, batting at his hands.

The attractive pout on his lips undermined his glare. God, he was so close… it could be so easy to—

Cam filled the doorway. If Qimir had outrun them, he must have been booking it to investigate. “Coach Lo! Is everything okay? Should I call—”

“We’re fine, Cam. Thank you for checking, though.” Another setting, another voice of his. This time, he spoke with a familiar, unimpeachable authority that made her heart race. At the same time, it also carried a fond undertone, an undeniable compassion he reserved for any of the students in his care—Cam, in this case.

She saw him take one of his pulse-taming breaths, a slow inhale followed by rock-steady stillness. Sheesh, you even memorized the way he breathes. Osha, be for fucking real.

She peeked around her stranger’s broad shoulder to wave at them. “Hi Cam!”

The receptionist sighed in relief. “Okay, great. When you took off like that, I thought I’d let in just some random person.” Osha bit her tongue. “But she didn’t match the—”

“No, Osha’s perfect,” her stranger said quickly. “I just didn’t expect to see her ’til tonight.” He tilted his head down to look at her, curiosity shimmering in his eyes. What are you doing here? those dark irises asked.

His expression hardened somewhat at the ‘we gotta talk’ face she made.

“Well great! It was nice to meet you again, Osha!” Cam said. “Bye, Coach Lo! You two have a good day!” They shut the door as they left.

The quiet enveloped them the way it seemed to love doing. He didn’t move from his spot in front of her but took off his cap, just to re-fit it on his head. Fidgeting. Her stranger was fidgeting. “I know it’s a mess in here, sorry.”

“You should see my room.” Objectively, it sounded like an invitation. A very large part of her mind wanted it to be an invitation.

But he rolled with it. “I can imagine.” He leaned back to grab his coffee. He hummed when he saw the plum-purple kiss she’d left on his cup. “This for me?” he asked, holding eye contact as he placed his mouth right over it to take a sip. She couldn’t move—even if she could, she wouldn’t have wanted to. He smirked. “Yeah, that’s for me.”

Was he talking about the coffee or the—

She made herself move; otherwise, this whole conversation would derail before it ever left the station. “What brought you here?” he asked once she sat across from the desk.

“I need to tell you something.”

A flash of worry crossed his features, but he hid it beneath an attempt at humor. “And here I was thinking you just wanted to see me.”

“In your dreams,” she scoffed.

He muttered something to himself, and when she asked him to repeat himself, what he said didn’t remotely resemble what his whisper sounded like. What he first said sounded more like, you have no idea. What he instead enunciated was—

“Can you blame me?”

It was a phrase they’d exchanged several times, and a blatant attempt at finding familiar terrain between them. Something comfortable to step off of. She looked back at the other pictures of him, casting about for something, anything to delay the inevitable discomfort of this conversation.

“Osha,” he murmured.

She winced through her next words. “I talked with Mae. The way I think you wanted me to at the beginning.”

He set down his coffee and sat in his chair, dread drawing his easygoing expression into apprehension. “And what did she say?”

Osha recounted the terrible things she learned—Indara seeing them, Vernestra using it to blackmail Mae into digging into his personal life, Mae’s terrible question and his subsequent reaction, and the cascading events afterward. She left nothing out except for two things: Mae’s unsure call to action and the mention of that final line that seemed to make him snap.

This is the last round, Qimir.

As she spoke, he grew more quietly devastated. By the time she reached the end of her story, he was hunched over his coffee like he wanted to disappear. The quiet felt loud now, instead of comforting. He hardly moved, hardly breathed, breaths coming out small and shallow. He lifted his head at long last but didn’t meet her gaze. His eyes were vacant and glazed, staring over her shoulder at something Osha couldn’t see.

“Is this you taking the fuck off option?” he asked, voice wrecked by emotions he normally kept reined in.

“No!” she cried. She stood from her seat to step closer to him. “I just… you deserved to know. It’s about you, so it’s…” She didn’t quite know how to finish that sentence.

“You don’t hate me for treating your sister so harshly?” he looked disgusted, though not with her. He was disgusted with himself.

Sometimes, someone faces that part of themselves that thrives in violence, and finds they can look themselves in the eye without a mountain of guilt crushing them for the sin of what they’ve done.

“Hate you?” she said, shaking her head. “What Mae did was wrong. She wronged you. Even if she didn’t know what she was saying. Your reactions are understandable if not justified. I wouldn’t… She… god, I’m so sorry for what she did.”

His expression softened a little, but his jaw remained tense. “It’s not your fault, Osha. And it’s not Mae’s fault, either. I was the one that chose to let my emotions rule me.”

“Hey.” She came around to park her hip against his desk, standing right beside him. “You were the one that told me emotions cannot be controlled or erased. I’m no doctor, but… from what it sounds like, she unintentionally triggered you into a severe traumatic episode. You don’t have to forgive her for it, but… you have to forgive yourself for feeling hurt.”

“You don’t understand, Osha.” He pushed his hands through his hair, knocking his hat off. Nervously, he set it in his lap while he rocked back in his chair. He gestured to the wall with all his accolades. “It’s not a matter of forgiving myself. There are codes of ethics I have to follow for my job. Each code would condemn what I’ve been doing for the last eleven months. It’s… it’s wrong, what I did. What I do.”

“You mean entering in the fights?”

A haunted look filled his face. “Not entering the fights. Walking into the cage, and the terrible things I’ve done to leave it. Done to others, done to myself… I broke promises I wanted nothing more to keep.”

Osha’s stomach sank. The last time he spoke to her about promises, it was to tell her that he’d only reserve his love for someone who could feel as deeply as he did—to protect himself from getting hurt again. “What do you mean?”

His expression was pained. He didn’t want to talk about this, but he had to. “I was in a bad place, when I aged out. I got mixed up with people that normally don’t let you leave once you’re in. I did a lot of fucked-up things to get out. The people who helped me… I can never pay them back.

“But the second I was out, I knew I never wanted to go back to that life—scaring people, stealing from others, fighting for money. I swore I’d never hurt another person if I didn’t have to. I swore I wouldn’t—” He cleared his throat, nervously flexing the bill of his cap between his palms. Flat, curve, flat, curve. “Those promises kept the peace in my soul for more than ten years. I was… good. For the first time.”

Osha’s heart broke at the smallness in his voice. I was good. For the first time.

He wiped a hand over his face, hat falling to the floor. “All of that was upset the second she—” he cut himself off, closing his eyes.

She finished for him. “When she asked if you remembered.”

He nodded tightly, then gave a bitter laugh. It was so different than the laugh he’d given before. She missed it. “The problem is, I don’t… I don’t remember all of it. That’s scared me for a long time. The concussions, the pain—there are a lot of significant memories that cut in and out when I try to remember them.”

“I know what that’s like.”

He looked mildly horrified. “What?”

“I just… sometimes, I have to watch videos of the fight—to remember that it happened.” To remember that it happened differently than the flashbacks. Lights. Crying. Mat. Nausea. Pain.

“You don’t want to forget?”

She shrugged, crossing her arms. “Forgetting, remembering. They’re different pains that make you wish you had the other.”

He wasn’t happy she used his own words on him, but he at least understood where she was coming from. She went on, giving him a break from laying himself bare to her.

“I figured that if I could objectively remember every second of what had happened to me, it would hurt less whenever someone brought it up. Like tensing your core before you take a hit, except you never let your guard down because someone could always strike out at you.” Saying it out loud felt a little damning, a little ridiculous. “I told Mae the other night how fucked up it was that she said that to you. That it was like reminding me of Bestine. Like I’d let my guard down to trust her, and that’s when she started going in, striking me with remember whens. She’s never had to carry anything like the trauma I carry, let alone anything like yours. She doesn’t know the burden of remembering, even as far back as—” She stopped. Too much. Don’t bleed on his wounds. “But I think she understands now.”

He reached out his hand, warm from being wrapped around his coffee. She uncrossed her arms to hold his hand in both of hers, tracing her thumb over the peaks and valleys of his knuckles. He took care of his hands, unlike her. She had scars from years of building and breaking her hands for sport. Fingers that didn’t set right, burst blood vessels between her knuckles, calluses—a hundred self-destructive things she had yet to confront, carried on her hands. Flipping it over, she traced the tip of her finger over his palm. Mount of Venus, heart line, fate line, life line. He let her move and manipulate him, at such odds with the immovable force he was in the cage. These hands were a testament to a life hard-won.

“I’m sorry all of this happened to you, stranger.” It bore repeating.

He curled his fingers to lace them with hers. They look good like that, Osha thought.

“Me too.”

She drew a deeper breath, looking around at the walls. He surrounded himself with the trappings of a respected man in a career he was passionate about. I was good. They were reminders. Precious milestones for every step he’d taken away from the life he’d been forced into. Something he said earlier itched at her mind.

“If someone filed an ethics violation or something… what would happen?”

“I’d lose everything.”

When you lose everything—and I did lose everything—that’s when you’re finally free. Free of exploitation, free of expectation.

This kind of loss wouldn’t be freedom. This kind of loss would be more like a death.

What do we do?

“And there’s nothing to get Vernestra off your back?”

He squeezed her hand. “When I was young and still made of nothing but anger, I did try to destroy the Temple. The things Mae said about me trying to break the website and speak to journalists were true.”

A strange moment passed, where he looked up at her with wide, pleading eyes. The fear in them frightened her in turn. His mouth opened and shut, words bitten back repeatedly, until—“I was…”

He didn’t finish the thought.

Qimir squeezed his eyes shut, his head falling forward. He looked… defeated. Her hand moved as if possessed, coming to the back of his head so she could twine her fingers into his hair. He slumped into her form, pressing his head to her stomach and wrapping his arms around her legs. They held that embrace for longer than she could keep track. It could have gone on forever, for all she cared.

But eventually he did pull back, hands coming to bracket her thighs as he looked back up at her. He was no longer trepidatious, nor did his eyes shine with fear. And he did not finish what he was going to say before. Unease tickled the back of her mind.

“But all of that stuff was fifteen years ago. I can’t even imagine why Vernestra is still so caught on it.” Osha had turned it over in her mind relentlessly over the last twenty-four hours.

He leaned back, letting his hands fall off of her like rain clinging to glass. “I’m a…” he laughed, not in mirth but in irony. “I’m a loose end. She knows if I exposed what she did, it’d destroy her. It’d destroy the Temple, and probably take down another three dozen conspirators who sought to keep things hushed up.”

Conspirators? “Vernestra Rwoh holds grudges like lifelines,” she said, trying not to show her confusion.

“She sure does.” He took a breath. “To answer your question, I don’t know that there’s anything I can do. I certainly tried when I was younger, and it’s… not healthy to let myself think about returning to that mindset again.” His jaw flexed once before he turned a sad smile up at her.

Osha felt like she’d hit another wall. She’d expected Qimir to have some sort of agenda against Vernestra, especially after sending Mae to torment him about the past for eight months. She looked over at the wall again, at the degrees and the photographs and memories of all the times he’d done right. He wouldn’t risk his life any more than he already had, not for a chance to get even.

But that didn’t mean she couldn’t do the same.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

#unhingery #common grounds #osha x qimir #oshamir #oshamir fanfiction #star wars fanfiction #the acolyte #act

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