#Except for HATERS gtfo!

[johnwickb1tsch]

THE DEVILS' TRIANGLE

A Yandere Tex Johnson x Fem!Reader x John Wick Fic

by: @johnwickb1tsch @treedaddymcpuffpuff @sweetwolfcupcake & @tammykelly

Imagine you're a hapless witness in a high profile FBI case against the mafia and hitmen John Wick and Tex Johnson are competing for the contract on you. After some forceful disagreement, they decide to team up to keep you for themselves...

⚠Warnings: So many dead doves! Do not eat! Unless you like dead doves, that is. You're in good company here. Violence, sexual content, blood, murder, kidnapping, possessive behavior, dubcon, yandere sh!t...it's all here! Please take care! 😘

CONTENTS:

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 tbc...

based on this imagine...

[f14fun]

pixelated love (!simmer x mv1) - chapter 7

synopsis: in which the famous three time world champion max verstappen wants to learn how to play the sims 4. except, he doesn't really know how to. so what does he do, search up a youtube tutorial. low-and-behold, y/n's video is the first he watches.

smau ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ profile | masterlist ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆ prev | next | series index ˚୨୧⋆｡

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yourusername posted on her story

yourusername: GUESS WHO'S SEEING HER SUGAR DADDY 😈🌹❤️😏✈️

story replies:

maxverstappen1: Not funny. 😡

yourusername: your sugar baby awaits u 🤤🤤

yourusername: get ready to have a clean apartment 🤑

maxverstappen1: I could use the extra cooking and cleaning help... as well as help with the cats...

yourusername: gotcha babyboy 💦💦💸😇

maxverstappen1: Currently booking you a flight back HOME ticket...

landonorris: Ayeeee get that bag sis 🤑💸🍑😉

yourusername: LMFAO LANDO GTFO

landonorris: Make sure you get that bag and ur kitty purrs too 😈

yourusername: BYE WHO TF STOLE UR PHONE 😭😭

landonorris: If he can make you laugh and giggle, he can make that ass shake and jigg-

yourusername: lando i'm going to BLAWK u 😭

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yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 239,761 others

yourusername: i hope pookie wookie bear has been enjoying time with me as i flex on the haters in my super duper uber-cool outfits (pls like it up, i think i spent like hours on pinterest and in my wardrobe coordinating possible outfits 😭😭💸)

view comments:

user1: ZOOWEEMAMA

user2: ALRIGHTTTT an aesthetic kween 🌟🌟

maxverstappen1: I think that your outfits look very super cool! 👍🏻👍🏻

maxverstappen1: I really like your outfits...

maxverstappen1: You look very pretty, schatze ❤️

yourusername: 🥰❤️

user2: GOODNIGHT LMFAO the boyfriend style commenting has me in tears 😭😭😭

user2: alright walk him like a dog sis walk him like a dog 🐶🐶🐶

user3: y'all forget that y/n actually has a bachelors and masters in data science and video game design... she is actually a woman in STEM who is RICHHHH but acts broke when she plays her silly little video games

user4: WAIT FRRR??? mother has BANK?

user5: yeah wait, literally people need to know more but she basically streams on the SIDE.... like she actually works for EA and SIMS 4 FOR REAL

user5: playing the game, testing shit, that is literally part of her job description

user5: y'all have been subject to this SCHEME i've known ab for years, actually!!

user6: BYE HOW LONG HAS SHE FOOLED US LIKE THIS???

user5: welp she's like 25 now... and she graduated with her masters at like age 21... so it's been six years since her job with ea LMFAO

user5: get PUNKED 🫵🏻

user7: bye so she wasn't lying when she said that she has a collection of dior bags... miss ma'am doesn't even NEED max's bag... she has her OWN

yourusername: LOUD. INCORRECT. BUZZER.

yourusername: i actually still do need max's bag as part of my MASTER PLAN for WORLD DOMINATION HAHAHAHA 😈😈😈

maxverstappen1: So I'm basically just a stepping stool.

yourusername: glad that you see your true worth babe 😘😘😘

georgerussell63: Get wrecked 🤣🤣🤣

maxverstappen1: STFU

user8: speaking as someone who literally SAW them roaming the streets of monaco irl... i'm telling you they actually might be a couple fr fr

user8: like he was always holding her bags, her clothes, just basically all of her shit 🤡🤡🤡

user8: and like i literally saw them at a hella expensive private club i know for a FACT that it's hella hard to get into last minute... especially on a week's notice oml 💸😇🌟

user8: bro and yesterday i literally saw them at DIOR and this man wanted to buy her BAGS ON BAGSSSS fr. ofc our rich mother refused but i SWEAR this man secretly bought her one or smth cuz he was eyeing them with sm intent 🤑🤑

user8: AND I DIDN'T INTENTIONALLY STALK THEM, MONACO IS JUST HELLA SMALL APARENTLY CUZ I KEPT SEEING THEM EVERYWHERE 😭😭😭

user9: are we nawt gonna talk ab how last slide miss ma'am is literally parading around with the ACTUAL FUCKING RING ON HER FINGER 💍💍💍

user9: zoom in y'all, i beg pls i swear i'm not hallucinating man

user10: WOAH WHAT THE FUCK???

user9: RIGHT???

user11: wait she is fr wearing that bigass ring around everywhere damn...

user9: ON HER RING FINGER NONTHELESS????

user12: i literally have no fucking idea what is satire and what's real life

user12: this is quite literally the LONGEST someone has still managed to keep me in the dark yet very much still providing me with sm information

user12: i feel bloody PUNKED 🤡😡

user13: wait ur so real LMFAO 😖😖

user13: maybe like the whole wedding bit is fake... but those emerging feels coming from BOTH of them seem VERY MUCH REAL

user14: ^^ such a good point 😉

user15: guys i don't mean to hyperfixiate (that is the last time i'll say that LMAO) but isn't the last slide a bit too close for "just friends" who happened to meet online first and irl just a few days ago?

user15: BYE ik we can't see it but we KNOW SHE IS DEFFO ON TOP OF HIMMMM 🤣🤣

yourusername: i have that top-dominant-alpha energy no matter where i am 😈👹👺🐺🐺🐺

user16: oh!-

maxverstappen1: Spending time with you felt very Spring Breakers Core!!!

user17: BROOOO Y/N HOW HAVE YOU GIRLIPOP-IFIED THIS MAN SO FAR???? 😭😭😭

yourusername: ughhh so true max...

yourusername: just wish we paraded around monaco in a big big pink truck

maxverstappen1: Well... there's always a next time for everything 🤭🤭🤭

user18: WHAT DO Y'ALL KNOW THAT I DON'T

user18: i hate hate HATE being left in the dark y'all 😭

user18: what in the fomo am i experiencing....

user18: this feels like gatekeeping 🧍🏽‍♀️

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taglist: @hiireadstuff @sinofwriting @mehrmonga @the-untamed-soul @glai1023-blog @loloekie @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @sheastri @llando4norris @gwginnyweasley @carmenita122 @ririyulife @pausmoon @ur-fav-ave @eveninggstar @maddie-naps @erin-odonnell04 @rexit-mo @ems-alexandra @si1ver06 @iamred-iamyellow @bibissparkles @percypie @formula1blog @lanadelray1989 @rylieverstappen-sargent @luvsforme @eiaaasamantha @kaysmiles42 @mvaldez7821 @stinkyjax @sweate-r-weathe-r @laneyspaulding19 @mingyusbigrighttoe

some of these didn't get tagged, and i'm having trouble (?) it's being very weird, idk, so please let me know if your name is here and it didn't tag you ❣️

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author's note: ty guys for reading this fic! 😍🫶🏾

god the last twts made me chuckle a bit... n e ways, lemme know what form of media y'all want to see more of (i.e. twts, insta posts, insta stories, txt messages... i just want to gauge the audience opinion, yk?!)

also since we r getting into the nitty gritty detail of the romance aspect, i was wondering if y'all would want to see some prose/writing... rather than just a smau, b/c it's really hard to illustrate romance without all the creepy-ass paparazzi shots 😭😭

i'm also finally back from vaca! i'm still deciding if i want next chap or chap 9 to be the final chapter, stay tuned!

i'm also still a little behind on the taglist (like a few chapters), so if you didn't get tagged, PLEASE please please write your @ below, i'm so sorry y'all😭

comment if you want to be added to the taglist! ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

[bathtubinkitchen-moved]

Polka/Lesley/Muck are my main names but I have many more

I'm a minor so nsfw/🔞 blogs go away. I'm an autistic bigender lesbian ladyguy. I use any (neo)pronouns [except they/them] and any nouns.

I block whoever I want I'm a #HATER at birth. Discourse blogs/TERFS/Bigots/Nazis/Proshippers/Racist apologists [DSMP Fans and weirdos alike] GTFO MY BLOG!! you are not welcome here

I draw and post whatever I want [Don't expect a lot of art though if you came here for art then woops] art tag is #POLKART [BTW please reblog my art if youre gonna like lol]

If you're a Plainview + EPTG fan PLEASEEE INTERACT WITH ME I love Plainview and EPTG...

[ohmightydevviepuu]

AO3 tag game!

(hey i’m still procrastinating.  SHOCKER.)

# of works:  25 word count:  385,162 # of fandoms:  OUAT, arrow, sailor moon

top five: hello love (a silent kiss from a wish) / OUAT voices from the yellow road / OUAT i know your devils and your deeds (be prepared to bleed) / OUAT multiplicity / Arrow the last test and proof / OUAT

comments! i always respond to comments if i’m able to.  i want to let readers know i appreciate them and i love the feeling when an author responds to me so i want to share that with anyone who has given me their time/attention.

angst! piece with the angstiest ending is definitely this prompt from earlier this month. when i write a full fic, it migh be angsty AF, but i have a strict HEA or GTFO policy.  (when i read a fic, too.)

crossovers? nope.  i’ve never tried one nor felt the urge to.  for me as a writer i am not sure they make sense for me but YMMV.

haters gonna hate i’ve never to my knowledge gotten hate on a fic except for one time someone didn’t like a detail in a fic i wrote and decided they needed to let me know in a comment, which i deleted, because they were being dumb.

smut? ok, but like--call it porn or romance or erotica...smut just sounds like someone judging you from afar for whatever it is you’re enjoying. though i’ve never written it myself i have absolutely zero objection to people including it in fic.  really good fic erotica/porn/romance is a true joy, imho, and takes a lot of skill to execute.

collab! just gonna slide this in from @thisonesatellite​:

i also did a complete season 5 rewrite with @ohmightydevviepuu called The Sword and The Heart. It is by far the hardest, most amazing, most rewarding, and most beneficial effort i have ever undertaken (in terms of stretching as a writer, lessons learned and challenges met), and i am immensely proud of what we accomplished. i don’t think either one of us could have written that story as it is. It took both of us to come together, to meld our styles, vision, and energy, to achieve this feat.

all-time fave ship? usagi/mamoru from pretty soldier sailor moon, in almost every medium.  (comics, movies, two tv show versions)  their story was the first that hit me with true OTP obsession and has it all--romance, superheroes, time travel, reincarnation, royalty.  this was also the first fandom i ever wrote for.

favorite fic by me? from the edge of the deep green sea.  it’s an entire mood, a vibe, a playlist.  it’s angsty AF and super emo and weird in, i think, a good way.

[lordsofthesithpodcast-blog]

In today's episode Lee, Denise, and Mary discuss their experiences as women from different backgrounds, nationalities and age brackets participating in the general Star Wars and Reylo fandoms:                  

How we first discovered Star Wars: quick chat about growing up in the 80′s and 90′s in Latin America and the UK. Pit stop by the general awesomeness of ANH and Leia, loving on ROTJ and the Yubnub song except Mary, gushing about the Prequels and Mara Jade.

How we got into the Star Wars fandom: Denise talks early Star Wars speculation in the online community, and the rise of aggressive Reywalkers in the increasingly tense climate of the pre-TFA days.

We give a detailed account of the intergalactic experience of watching TFA for the first time and that powerful first moment of Reylo realization.

We discuss the carefree days of early Reylo community building, which flew by in a daze of pooling our knowledge, building friendships and obsessively rewatching TFA for the Reylo bits.

Case study in online fandom gatekeeping BS: “It Happened to Us” Edition.

Was it hurtful and infuriating and confusing and just WHY??

-Lee discussing the origins of our mother project, @starwarsconnection​.

Mary talks about her experiences cosplaying and participating in various Star Wars fan gatherings, including Star Wars Celebration London and Orlando.

We speculate on why Reylo is so Kylorenattacked, and come to some interesting conclusions:

a) Kylo Ren is beautiful and wears a man-gown = outrage.

b) Women fans and romance     wat?? Where is my masculine Star Wars? = outrage.

c) Kylo Ren is a “toxic male” to some definitely-not-in-the-least-bit-toxic women gatekeepers = outrage.

d) B-but muh Reywalker = outrage.

Where my Jedi and Sith girls at?? A discussion on female representation in the Star Wars OT, PT, and Legends and female representation in the Star Wars fandom.

Haters who be hating like to say Reylo oppresses women. Plot twist: turns out Kylo Ren admires Rey and is not threatened by her power or her gender. Oh snap.

Does “Reylo is Twilight” = “women need to GTFO muh Star Wars”? We discuss.

*checks calendar* It’s 2018: did you know that apparently some people still think that Star Wars is a man thing and that women have no place in this story?

And did you know that some people think that romance in Star Wars is a woman thing, but there’s a whole bunch of men who love and support Reylo?

Lastly, we’d love to hear about your experiences in the fandom not just the men but the women and the children too. Let’s chat!

You can listen to this episode on iTunes and Soundcloud. The audio only version was released on 8/12/18.

Our featured artist is the amazingly talented @pandora-young​. Check out her gorgeous (NSFW) art PandoraYoung.com, on Instagram and Patreon.

Our portraits: Denise and Lee: art by Xilveroxas | Mary: art by Panda Capuccino

[secretsofthemasquerade]

Let’s roast some scenarios p.1

Because I’m a bitter hater bitch, and because I promised it a little while ago, consider this part one of me bitching and ranting and roasting the scenarios that made the long list of the WoD Berlin convention’s scenario competition.

My own two page synopses for the two scenarios I wrote are uploaded for anyone to read if you wanna :)

So, in this part one, of IDK how many, I will pick them at about random and plain rant, with more or less constructive behavior. Lyle Kersten also gets credits for the roast because, well, he got himself some culture and I don’t lol.

Now, without further Awooo.... 6 out of 15 scenarios being roasted!

Seven Nights in San’ya

Nick Riley

3-4 players

​In the old Tokyo slum, something grim is moving in. A newmade childe left alone. Can it survive? And who will protect the voiceless and the faceless until its Sire returns?

Ok, first, it’s NEWLY-MADE please. I don’t understand the premise of this game. So, it’s Vampire. Maybe? This deserves a serious explanation of what you mean to tell us as a story, dude, and who’s gonna be playing who, for what, why and else. It sounds like the opening of a very bad fanfic...

Passage

Monica Gribouski, Caroline Murphy and Brendan Butts

Bespoke: Larp (inspired by Wraith: The Oblivion LARP rules). ST+ up to 8 players

​In this scenario a group of Syrian refugees try to escape their country on a raft. They try to reach Kos in the hopes of surviving there. But on the water many things can happen, and the scenario seeks to investigate how we can value one live more than another and how much we are willing to sacrifice in the face of hardship.

Done and redone and reredone thousands of times. Unless you’re able to create an amazing ambiance of hell and give each of your players’ an amazing agenda to fulfill, which I don’t think can be done in a convention, it might not be worth telling (there are thousands of huis clos plays and novels out there, if the players are playing smart your story will go down the drain and the horror will flop). Minus points for Syrian refugee trope.

Eat the Poor

Kat Jones

Bespoke: Storygame. 3-6 players, no ST.

​A group of influential vampires wants to increase the value of their real estates through gentrification. You will get to experience this both as vampire and resident. Vampires as cold hearted business people, and the residents as people potentially losing their homes.

Black and white. This lacks the nuances that make the WoD so amazing, congrats, you made a propaganda game. Also, it’s cold-hearted, please. Good title tho, but this sounds boring at best, screaming match at worst. Vampires can be so much more creative than to get money from the value of real estate.

The Other Voice at the Back of Your Head

Pablo Valcárcel

5-9 players

A group of mortals connect via social media to help each other through the traumas they have met in the hands of the Kindred. This is a scenario about humanity, but in a less traditional sense, than WoD normally examines this.

Sounds like a Mystery Van intro story. People coming together and realizing they all suffered the same shit is a good premise, so this is technically a future Hunter game? Why not. The “it’s about humanity but in a less traditional sense” is jerking off tho :p Also, the commas are just odd. Idk, how is it different than what the “WoD normally does”, precisely? Is there a way the WoD does it, actually? Bad title, bad writing, might be interesting if the ST is given lots of prep time.

Hell is Other Vampires

Evan Torner

Larp/freeform, 3-6 players, no ST.

​A group of vampires gather to see if they can settle their differences long enough to overthrow their prince. The scenario is set in 1993 Chicago with all the grunge and long coats that follows in the dawn of the modern digital age. The scenario introduces mechanics to drive the story forward, and give complicate the story and the characters relationships to each other and their goal.

Long coats totally put me off. Bonus points for personal agendas through pre-made characters. I believe a good game of Dead of Winter might be better suited for such a plan ;) I wonder about the mechanics mentioned, so, can’t say this is a “bad scenario”. Bad points for the cringy time period, bonus points for the title references and the doability of this in a convention (politicking is always fun).

The Last Boat out of Barcelona

Pablo Valcárcel

V20 (with simplified sheet for the mortal characters)

ST and 2-4 players

The Spanish war is raging, and an coterie of anarchs seems doomed. Except one last chance to get out of Barcelona exist. Only, the people they have coexisted with will not be so lucky. Are humanity and survival mutually exclusive? In this scenario you will be playing both vampires and the people depending on them, while the world is crumbling around them.

It’s “a”, not “an”. Again, this has been done and redone to death, but the writing of this pitch is just badly written (goes with not being a native speaker, Pablo has two scenarios in this..). If I were playing this, I’d switch sides and join “the enemy” to shape society from within. That’s what vampires do. Especially to keep benefiting from their herd, contacts, allies and resources. You just don’t gtfo when you’re a vampire, you’re -above- mortal politics, even as a coterie of Anarchs. Should’ve been about ghouls serving vampires, not the vampires themselves.

[givemechoices]

Choices Tagging Game!

@kennaxval tagged me ^-^

Favourite book(s): The Royal Romance, Endless Summer, Red Carpet Diaries

Your MC’s LI for each story you’re playing:

·         The Freshmore Series: I think I’ve gone for all the LIs except Becca but now I’m gonna stick to Zig Ortega because yum 

·         The Royal Romance:  Liam without a shadow of a doubt

·         Hero: Grayson Prescott because he’s such a pure smolbean

·         The Crown and The Flame: First Dom but Diavolos appeared

·         Endless Summer: I went with Estela on my first playthrough, and then Jake on my second playthrough that I didn’t finish because I got bored of him >_< And then Quinn for a little while and then I sat down to properly play the whole three books through with Sean as my LI because he’s just…he’s amazing okay?

·         Red Carpet Diaries: Matt Rodriguez. I didn’t actually pick any of them at first but like…the balcony scene was wow

Favourite MC ship: King Liam x MC (Freya Evans)

Least favorite MC ship: Drake x MC

Favourite non-MC ship: Party!Twin x Blake and ROE!Cousin x Chaz

Least favorite non-MC ship: I don’t think I have any worth mentioning

Favourite character and why: Liam and before I launch into a whole dissertation that would put @lizzybeth1986 and @callmetippytumbles to shame (this is a big fat lie, those two write the best Liam centric essays I’ve ever read in my entire Choices lyf) I will just give you the abridged version of why. He’s nuanced, he’s layered, nothing about him worth knowing is just on the surface, ya gotta dig deeeeep. He’s a people person, he wants to do right by his country first and foremost despite having decades of patriarchal bullshit against him, he does everything in his power to make everyone around him feel included. And I’m going to shut up now. 

Least favorite character(s) and why: Aunt freaking Mallory. Holy crap. She is the most despicable, underhanded villain of all the books. Yes. She’s even worst than Luther freaking Nevrakis. As slimy as Luther was, he had never covered up what he was doing. Mallory even lied to the one person who had been on her side the entire time. I just. Ugh. Nope. GTFO Aunt Mallory 

Character(s) you like that most people don’t: *strokes imaginary beard* Damn this is actually hard. I guess Liam and Grayson. Like I follow a LOT of those shippers but there’s a lot more antis and haters for my boys so I guess that’s my answer?

Character(s) you don’t like that most people do: Maxwell I think? He’s good in small doses though, just not enough for me to like as a whole.  

Which character are you most like in real life: None. Like…I am unlike any of the characters. I know they’re all exaggerated caricatures but like I don’t identify with any of them. Except Hana but mostly because I think she’s the most like what most Asians have to face with their parents? But like I have none of her talents and none of her grace and none of her humility. So yeah. None xD

If you could be in any Choices story, which would you choose:

Dude, The Royal Romance what are you talking about. Sure, I’ll have to deal with the occasional assassination and coup and stuff but seriously, have you seen Liam? And Hana? Like…who wouldn’t want to live a life where you get to see those kinds of people?

Tagging these wonderful people: @sbobsessions @pixel-is-perfect @flyawayblue56 @superstarseangayle @kennadavenportgayle

So sorry if you guys have been tagged >_<

[ncitybabe]

You are in no position to judge him for wearing it or not because of the color of your skin. If you seriously think that's racist because it's "culture appropriation", then gtfo the internet since it was made by white people, stop doing your hair in different styles except for braids, dreadlocks and bald since its from other cultures, and stop speaking in English since it wasn't from black culture. Making a fuss over a fucking hairstyle *smh*

Literally explained this like not even 5 posts back my man's was getting praised for shit that the black culture get shit forrr my mans then reacted in the most unprofessional way ever. Called his fans haters and dismissed their feelings as ridiculous. Lmao u can go look at it if you want bc issa long ass paragraph and I'm tired of retyping that shit out thank

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, 2.25.2017

or should i say, yellin’ at seangs this week! you know, ‘cuz of all the big sean they put in there, these are seangs this week, i say! my wit is grand and deserving of mass attention.

22) "No Favors," by Big Sean ft./Eminem 70) "Sacrifices," by Big Sean ft./Migos 74) "Halfway off the Balcony," by Big Sean 76) "Jump out the Window," by Big Sean 86) "Owe Me," by Big Sean 97) "Light," by Big Sean ft./Jeremih

...I prepared myself for a lot of things when I decided my weekly routine would include this silly project. Did I know I'd be listening to and thinking about a lot of songs I otherwise never would have made time for?  That couldn't be avoided. Was I aware a song I loved and would stand up for could fall off the chart the very next week? It hurts that we lost "Run Up," but yes, I know no pop song is destined to hit the top 40. ...Did I prepare myself for six Big Sean songs. I was cognizant of a newly-released Big Sean album. Did I realize relatively deep Big Sean cuts would make their way into my life. Did I realize that, thanks to this fractured world where major artists give their preferred streaming service the right to be the sole host for their album, how difficult it would be to find a song with an Eminem feature on The You Tube. I worked harder to listen to "No Favors" than I ever otherwise would have. I could have said, "Eminem is on this track! I bet that's bad to listen to." Nope. I had to spend three minutes clickin’ on various YouTube videos until I found the actual song so I could confirm that Eminem is still not worth anyone's time, to say nothing for the time it took to find this song. Eminem describes himself as "rapey" and describes beating Jamie Lee Curtis with a spaceheater. Eminem, still incredibly not cool with the fact women are alive and breathing the same air as he does! Still thinking as he ever has, that one. Eminem turns 45 this year.

And then I remembered that I have Amazon Music, because I am a 51-year-old office manager who needs all the Steely Dan he can handle and is thus in the Amazon Music target market, and a cursory search showed that Big Sean did not make his album exclusive to one streaming service. So while I am not thrilled to put four other Big Sean songs into my life (there's an Official Video for "Halfway off the Balcony"), I am elated to give you a version of Yellin' at Songs which is complete and honest in its evaluation of every pop song to make its chart debut in 2017, except for the 1.7.2017 chart, that chart doesn't count for... some reason, don’t ask, I’m weird I AM PLEASED however, to report that my opinion on Big Sean is the same as it was when we discussed "Moves:" Big Sean has made great strides as a rapper, and while I wasn't looking forward to hearing any of these songs, I didn't mind them! Why, I downright enjoyed "Light," though I'm just a big fan in general of the first song of albums. (I like introductions. I like starting things. It's the middle and end parts here I'm like, enh, I don't know how to do this, but beginning a new thing is always a rush.) "Sacrifices" was also somewhere better than okay. So we have one song I'd be okay listening to again, one song I mostly enjoyed, one song that might end up being the worst thing I'd heard this year (remember that this year has included a Brantley Gilbert song and "Body Like a Back Road," and know that we're about to get to "Look at Me!"), and three other songs. Given that this easily could have been 24 minutes of nothing, I'll gladly take three songs I could have thoughts about!

43) "Believer," by Imagine Dragons

Listen, we have our fun with Imagine Dragons. It's pretty nuts that this is the biggest rock band we have going, imagine going back in time and playing this for Chuck Berry and telling him this song is a direct descendant of his work, but this song, it's pretty okay! It's a nice "love letter to the fans" sort of song, there's nothing terribly offensive about anything that's happening, it's a perfectly competent rock song that is going to serve well as the walk-up music for the Kansas City Royals' back-up utility infielder in two years' time. My opinion of this is absolutely colored by the fact that this song contains an itemized list. 1) I'll say the words in my head. 2) Don't tell me who you think I could be. 3) Thank God for the haters. 4) We made it, you and I, and I gotta give mad love to you, the fans. I dig any song with a list. I still defend Jay-Z's verse in "Monster" on the grounds that rap could use more lists.

68) "My Old Man," by Zac Brown Band

Before the Grammys hit, I went through every nominee field for Record of the Year to see how representative the Grammys had ever been of trends in pop music (spoiler: THEY NEVER WERE), and something I wanted to do was go through each year and determine the true Record of the Year field. I didn't have time for that because I started writing the post early Saturday morning and wanted to get it out before the Grammys started, but I ended up doing it anyway, and I present this to you: "Chicken Fried" absolutely would have been an ROTY nominee for the year 2009 if the Grammys had any got damn sense. I don't know if there's been a country song this country has been more in agreeance with since. Everything about that song works, it even earns the ode to the flag! 2009 wasn't one of the best music years in recent memory, either, you don't have to stretch the imagination to see a nice song about how great fried chicken getting ROTY consideration. Zac Brown Band puts out really solid country music. They're not Chris Stapleton-y throwbacks, they're not trying to revolutionize the genre, but they have their niche, and they know exactly how to operate within that niche. Most country songs about a strong paternal figure would be insufferable, but this is about as good as that sub-genre gets! Zac Brown Band, generally pleasant to hear since 2009!

87) "Beauty and the Beast," by Ariana Grande ft./John Legend

The least necessary thing on the planet is pop remixes of signature songs from Disney musicals. It only worked for Elton John, but those were songs he was writing, so that is a CLEAR EXCEPTION. The pop remix didn't work in the '90s, it didn't work with "Let It Go," and it doesn't work here. I REPEAT: Angela Lansbury or GTFO.

89) "I Don't," by Mariah Carey ft./YG

The most amazing line on Wikipedia is "Mariah Carey (born March 27, 1969 or 1970)." That says so much, and not all it says is about Mariah Carey, but we learn so much about Mariah Carey from that biographical tidbit. But why was I on Wikipedia looking up Mariah Carey's age? Because I just had to listen to a 39-year-old man sing a love song with a woman 15 years younger than him, and one of the reasons that Mariah Carey is a legend is that she is nearly 50 years old but still getting in those slinky dresses and getting 27-year-old gangsta rappers to write guest verses about how hot she is. That’s amazing. Like, think about female romantic leads in Tom Hanks movies for a second, or in Woody Allen movies, or in any movie, literally any movie, it’s always, the dude is hella old and the woman is portrayed by an early-20s ingenue, and here Mariah Carey is FLIPPING THE FUCKING SCRIPT. That’s what you get to fucking do when you’re a legend. Think about YG for a second. In the same 12-month span, YG released a song called "Fuck Donald Trump" and wrote a verse about proposing to Mariah Carey. That's not a mark against YG, that is a testament to Mariah Carey's legend, that we’re nearly 20 years removed from “Heartbreaker” but she still wields the same influence. I did not start writing this series about pop music to besmirch Mariah Carey's good name. What I think of this song is immaterial. She is a goddess come to earth, and her every movement is a blessing.

93) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini

So, I don't know about this song's long-term ability to stay on the chart. It's been out since last October, and it's apparently part of a popular Snapchat filter, and I'm not sure I'm ready for a world where songs can get big via Snapchat. I barely got used to Vine hits, now I've gotta worry about Snapchat? Anyhoo. Take a trip with me. On last year's year-end Hot 100, the hip-hop entries were all either trap or Drake, with the exception of "All the Way Up." It's been way too long since we've had a solid pop/rap song hit the charts. And this is such a blast! Even the rap singles I've enjoyed over the course of this project, they're still slightly ponderous. This young man just wants to eat candy, and it's like "Cake by the Ocean," yeah candy is a metaphor for something but this dude doesn't want you to think about it too hard, he just has this dope song you can enjoy. It's nice to hear music that isn't taking itself seriously. Bless you, friend.

94) "In Case You Didn't Know," by Brett Young

Meanwhile, the world has hundreds of versions of this exact pop/country song. We're all good. We don't need more. This is a new dude! How do they keep finding dudes like this to sing songs like this? Are they just in a mall somewhere scouting dudes like this in line at the Auntie Anne's? Do they just go to baseball games and look for tall dudes with stubble? Do they just carry guitars to karaoke bars, and when they hear a voice just nasally enough to be considered twangy they give him the guitar to hold for a few minutes and evaluate how hot he looks while holding that guitar and smiling? “Oh, yeah, that could be an album cover. I could see that on an album cover.” “So y’all from ar” “Shhh, shh shh shh, you talking ruins everything we like here.” Where do these guys COME FROM even?

95) "Look at Me!" by XXXTENTACION

But I kind of understand the appeal of bro country. At this point, when I see a white dude's name on the Billboard chart, I know I can expect one of two things: a fast jam about a hot summer night in a Chevrolet truck, or a slow jam about a hot girl the bro truly loves. And there's a certain safety when you know what to expect. If you feel safe enough in an environment, you'll want to spend more time in that environment, and if you spend enough time in that safe environment, you'll eventually call that place your home. This is all to say that, as I listened to "Look at Me!" I found myself appreciating the mundanity and predictability of "In Case You Didn't Know," and it takes a certain kind of aggressive unpleasantness to make me consider the bro-country universe's redeeming qualities. This song is horrendous. There's no musicality, the lyrics are the most misogynistic thing I've heard IN A WEEK WITH A FUCKING EMINEM VERSE, there's nothing here that suggests this is something meant to be enjoyed. Who is this for? Who's listening to this song that would subject themselves to it more than once? There is neither creativity nor artistry, just a horrible worldview presented abrasively. Y'all rejected "Run Up" for this and I will never forgive you.

Anyway, we’re a month and a half into this thing, and I think we’ve encountered enough Cs and C+s to expand the Top 10 into a Top 20! 20) "Road Less Traveled," by Lauren Alaina (2.11) 19) "I Don't," Mariah Carey ft./YG (2.25) 18) "El Amante," by Nicky Jam (2.18) 17) "Timeless," by A Boogie Wit da Hoodie ft./DJ SPINKING (1.14) 16) "Beibs in the Trap," by Travis Scott (1.21) 15) "My Old Man," by Zac Brown Ban (2.25) 14) "Castle on the Hill," by Ed Sheeran (1.28) 13) "Call Casting," by Migos (2.18) 12) "Running Back," by Wale ft./Lil Wayne (2.11) 11) "I'm Better," by Missy Elliott ft./Lamb (2.18) 10) "Way Down We Go," by Kaleo (1.14) 9) "Light," by Big Sean ft./Jeremih (2.25) 8) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 7) "Good Drank," by 2 Chainz ft./Gucci Mane & Quavo (2.11) 6) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 5) "Shape of You," by Ed Sheeran (1.28) 4) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 3) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Run Up," Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18)