#Everything is fuzzy and I can't think clearly.

[misshugs]

₂The Cameragirl² || snc

After an eventful night in the haunted asylum, you and the guys began looking at the footage, only for you to start making cocky remarks that might've set a spark you weren't expecting.

contains: just fluff and reader trying to be funny (but failing miserably), cheeky comments from reader, cursing, slight flirting? idk i suck at it

a/n: "part 2" of The Cameragirl, no need to read the first part though! but for context: you got choked by a ghost and you almost died but colby saved you by giving you mouth to mouth

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3]

word count: 2.3k

[u n e d i t e d]

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You don't exactly remember when you fell asleep, you're just sure that right after you fell on your bed you were knocked out.

It wasn't something that happened often, but boy you were tired due to last nights events. Beause of that and because of your commonly terrible sleeping habits, Sam and Colby didn't even want to bother you much.

They did however check on you after they woke up hours later, making sure you were still breathing. The experience has somewhat made them paranoid about what could happen to you.

Although they cleansed you before returning, they'd much prefer to be one hundred percent sure you were alright.

The problem was, you were a light sleeper. After they finished checking up on you, your eyes opened up slightly. Groaning a bit from the ache in your body from the fall you had a couple of hours prior. You stretched yourself nonetheless.

Yawning, you sat down and rubbed your eyes. Taking your phone from your nightstand, you looked at the hour. 01:17 PM. Sighing softly, you stood up and fixed yourself up before walking out of the room.

Looking around, you heard mumbling from the other room. It was the office. You walked inside and saw them both looking back at the footage.

You furrowed your brows. Usually, you were a part of this process. Why did they begin without you?

Since they haven't noticed you yet, you started walking closer without making any sounds. As quiet as you possibly could, you basically stood behind them, watching the footage.

"What're you doing?" You asked, gaining a scream from Sam and a jump from Colby, almost falling off the chair. A smile grew wide on your face after that reaction.

"Fuck! You scared me!" Sam exclaimed, putting his hand on his chest.

"Oh my god, my heart." Colby said, hiding his face in his hands.

"That's for beginning without me." You said, crossing your arms on your chest.

"You were sleeping so soundly after all that happened, we didn't want to disturb you. And... we were curious... sorry." Colby admitted. You sighed.

"It's alright, I guess. What's this part?"

"We just started watching the part where... it happened." Sam said, looking at you.

"Ooh, okay. Then go back, my head's a little fuzzy, I can't remember clearly what happened, I want to know." As you said that, they nodded and ran back the video.

You didn't miss much anyways. They rewined right when they began arguing about it not being a good idea and whatnot. They haven't seen the whole night or anything, they just skipped right to the end.

After the arguing and the preparation for everyone to go into their respective corridors, the challenge began.

They paused the video. "Even though it made sense, it was still strange for you to be so persistent about it, was it not?" Colby said, looking at you. "Also, can you please sit down? There's a chair right there. You're stressing me out."

"No." You quickly answered.

"Why?" He asked.

"I don't want to, it's my fight or flight mode. It's easier to run while standing up." You giggled softly, which gave them both a sense of peace that you couldn't even imagine.

You were their everything, and thinking that their everything could've ended up like that made them so overprotective that they would've absolutely slept with you that night... to keep you protected, of course.

"Also, my legs feel numb, I don't want to cut the circulation again, it felt weird last time." You admitted.

Sam quickly stood up, concerned. "Are you okay? Do you need an oxygen mask again or something?? Water?"

"Wha- no. Calm down. Jeez." You said, grabbing his shoulder and making him sit back down. "Anyways, about the video. Um... I do remember having this urge to do it. I don't think it might've been anything bad, but I did have this... feeling, I guess."

"Maybe it wasn't you?" Colby said, raising a brow. "Maybe something was making you feel that way, just so that you were left alone... like it happened." You thought about it.

"I... guess it's an option." You shrugged.

"It could've also been a possession. It is said that people tend to quickly switch emotions when one is possessed." Sam continued. "Or... it could've also been the fact that you were so indifferent about it all."

"I'm just used to it, it's not like I don't believe."

"Yeah, but since we were making our reactions so... extra in comparison, maybe the spirits were trying to target you?" Colby added.

"...yeah, it does add up. Well, continue. Let's see what truly happened. I genuinely can't remember." They nodded and the video rewined.

As you began walking through the corridor, you began to speak on the video, it was almost automatic when you heard your voice that you started whining. "Oh, fuck no. Nevermind. This is so cringe. I remember this."

They started laughing and kept on watching although you pleaded for them to skip it. You tried to stop it yourself but Sam quickly held you back, hugging you and your arms, unable to move.

You didn't have the strength at the moment to try and get out of his grasp, but you tried anyways.

Not like it mattered. Not like you minded, actually. In the way he was holding you back, he basically let you sit on his lap while watching.

You didn't mind at all.

"You guys know I suck at youtube, I was trying to be funny, it didn't work." You laughed a little bit while your voice also seemed on the edge of breaking, mainly fake crying.

"What do you mean? You did great." Colby said, hiding his smile underneath his hand. Listening to your cute attempts on making jokes. It melted him.

"I can see you trying not to laugh, Colby." You fake cried again.

"Whaaat? I would never." He said. Sam didn't hide anything. His smile only giving away how much he was actually enjoying this version of you. If only you were open enough for them to be able to record and replay more of this.

A couple of minutes into the video, you started panting, heavy breathing could be heard. It was when you began to explain that you could barely breathe. "It feels... hard to breathe." You said in the video, your lips visibly shaking.

As you began walking faster, you could see through the video that you stopped on you tracks. Blinking your eyes as you looked at, what you remembered to be, a figure.

You tried to breathe.

"Holy shit. Holy shit! Did you see that?" Sam said, letting you go and pausing the video and quickly going back a couple of seconds. You stood up from his lap to let him search quickly.

"What?" Colby asked. Confused, you got closer. He started playing the video once again, this time, slower. You could see the light on your neck moving.

"Holy fuck. Look at that. It looks as if something is like, pushing on your neck. Like pressing onto as if you're getting choked." Sam explains, pointing at the marks on your neck where there seemed to be a dent suddenly forming.

"Oh my god." You said as you touched your neck, remembering what happened barely a couple of hours ago. Colby had his mouth wide open after watching that.

"That's... that's poltergeist activity right there. It's undeniable." He said, looking at the both of you. You nodded, shocked at how much power this entity seemed to have. "We need to get you properly cleansed, we can't be having another demon up someone's ass." He contined, looking directly at Sam, who seemed offended. You chuckled.

As they continued the video, they heard the soft 'help' that you could barely spit out, your voice breaking in the midst of it. The quick movement of the camera as you turned around only to be thrown to the floor. Seconds later, watching as you tried to crawl back but your body seemingly giving up as quickly as you tried to do so.

It broke their hearts, even more so knowing you tried to scream for help. And so, the camera kept rolling for what felt like an eternity.

"How long did it took for you guys to come look for me?" You asked, seeing as the video kept going.

"So far, it's been five minutes..." Sam said softly, painfully watching the screen.

"Oh my god, I was dead for five minutes?"

"Don't say it like that." Colby looked at you, almost sad. Fear went through his body at the thought of not have gotten there on time.

"It is true though... oh, there are my heroes." They smiled softly as you said that. As you heard the conversation they had while you were unconscious, you scoffed. "You guys thought it was a joke?"

"Hey, listen. We've had our jokes and giggles with extreme pranks before, it could've been a possibility." Colby put his hands up in defense, looking at you truthfully. "Honestly, I was wishing it was."

"Sam. Call 911. This is real." Colby said on the video. Before you could completely understand what was going on, you saw him kissing you.

Well, saving your life, but touching lips nonetheless.

Your cheeks started switching colors. You obviously don't remember much, but your brain didn't thought about the fact he had to give you some oxygen back.

Your fingers touched your lips softly as you were watching. They seemed to be immerse on watching what happened, thankfully. You don't think you could handle their stares right now.

Trying to calm yourself down, you saw yourself waking up. No further from that, you saw as Sam helped you up for a split second before the camera was turned off.

"And that's the footage alright. Wow." Colby sighed and looked at Sam, and then at you.

"That was... something. I can't believe we caught that on camera... it's proof, yeah, but... you were seriously hurt." Sam says, looking at you. "Are you... okay with this?" He asked, you looked at him, confused.

"What? You mean for posting it? Oh yeah, I don't mind. Don't worry about it. I'm safe and sound anyways." You said, smiling as you put your hands on your hips.

"Just making sure you're okay with it." He said and you nodded, understanding his kind gesture.

"So..." You began, gaining the attention of them both. "Are you gonna keep the part where Colby kisses m- uh, gives me mouth to mouth?" You quickly correct yourself, trying to act cool. Not leaving your stare from the screen.

"What?" They smirked at your sneaky comment.

Fuck.

"What?" You asked back looking at Sam, seemingly ignoring their cocky smile as much as you could.

"What did you say?" He asked.

"If you're gonna keep the mouth to mouth on the video."

"Not that, when you stuttered." Colby obliged, making you nervous.

"...I said Colby?" You raised an eyebrow, looking confused although you perfectly knew what they were talking about. They shook their head.

"You know what we mean." Sam says, reclining back on his chair, getting comfortable as he looks at you, amused by the situation. Mimicking Sam's actions; Colby lied back, a hand underneath his chin, smirking back at you.

Like Gods. They looked like Gods.

It was driving you insane.

You sighed, "I'm just saying. A bit upset that that was my first kiss with any of you- I mean, not like I was... waiting for one anyways, of course. Ahem." You started mumbling at the end, looking away while scratching the side of your neck.

It wasn't anything strange for all of you to have some sort of stupid flirting in between conversations, but usually they were extremely noticeable jokes.

These? Oh. These weren't jokes. These were genuine mistakes.

And a part of you hated these silly accidents. Mainly because they knew.

"There seem to be a lot of mixed signs in what you're saying." Colby said, smiling at Sam then looking back at you. "I'm a bit confused in what to believe here."

You shrugged. "Believe what you want to believe, good sir."

"It's just that I don't know if we're on the same page, you know?" Colby continued, looking at Sam. "I only know he's with me."

"Oh, for sure." The sexual tension only filling the room even more. Usually, the jokes were seemingly too overboard and hence, you could tell they were that, plain jokes.

Usually.

Just like your silly little mistakes, these weren't jokes.

"And what does that mean?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, we know what we want. We don't know if it is what you want though."

You sighed heavily, seemingly loosing yourself for a moment as you whined. "Dear God, why are y'all so hot?" You looked up, dozing out of existence after thinking about their looks, their positioning, their everything.

.

.

.

Wait.

Wait.

WHAT DID YOU JUST THROW OUT OF YOUR MOUTH?

You accidentally said your thoughts out loud.

How does that even happen?!

When you realized what you've done, your eyes went wide, quickly looking at them. "Oh. Fuck. I didn't just- oh God." You didn't even wait to see their reaction as you began walking away. They quickly stood up, and you quickly sped up.

You started laughing but you were absolutely dying inside out of embarrassment. "Come back here!" Sam yelled as he got a hold of you and hugged you from behind, quickly throwing you over his shoulder.

"Let me gooo!" You yelped, moving your legs as you laughed purely by reflex. He held your legs in place. You were blushing hard.

"Nu-uh. We're gonna have a chat, young lady." Colby said, crossing his arms as you looked at him with a pout on your face. Sam turned around and slapped your ass, walking back to the room. You yelped, not expecting the sudden movement.

"A nice, long chat." Sam said as you sighed.

Oh boy. It's gonna be a long night.

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how do you guys like the banner? i got creative(ish)

also pls tell me what you thought about the fic, cause i don't really know if i did good with the idea, i did want them to review the footage but i also wanted a bit of tension or something extra to make it spicy, i'm not sure if i did a good job tho...

thank you for reading!

-nikkõ

smol taglist: @lemonnightmare @yourfavoritefangirl @stardollswrld

[poppy-metal]

need to be young and naive and have art and pat invite me to their hotel room. need them to try to teach me to smoke weed, laugh at me when i start coughing, and then tell me theyll just shotgun it for me to make it easier. need them to get me so high and pliable and take advantage of me :((( need need need

-🐞

s-shotgunning with patrick and art..... it gives the vibes of them lounging back with their cigarettes.... they looked so fucking good there....

need art feeding the smoke into my mouth while he cups my face, thumbs stroking my cheeks. need patrick who starts by mouthing at your neck, as soon as art let's you go and you exhale through your nose he's tugging you to his mouth, licking inside. and it's so overwhelming - you didn't expect to go this far, you really didn't. maye that was stupid. to go into a room with two boys, alone, but you aren't thinking clearly. it's hard too with your head all fuzzy and you think art is a good person - you've been warned about patrick, but art won't let anything bad happen to you, you're sure, he's a good guy. you relax into him. end up with your back pressed against his chest as patrick trails his kisses down your stomach - where did your shirt go? it's a crumpled heap on the floor somewhere, and patricks tongue dips into your bellybutton and you gasp. but then arts there, warm hand turning your head - and he takes another hit - feeds it to you again - his lips are so soft, you think. his hand is so sweet on you - comforting.

you're melted between them. patrick tugs down your shorts - you think you hear him say they're cute, you think you hear art agree. "fucking hot." you hear - everything is swimming. it feels good. you spread your legs when patrick parts them. your bare cunt exposed - shining the warm light of the room. you've never been touched before, not by anyone other than yourself, but you can't remember why not - everything feels good. you want patrick to touch you there. "please."

art props his chin on your head. they talk over you, and through the fog you hear bits and pieces - you think she even knows what she's begging for?/shit, man. she's so fucking wet./spread her - let me see./ god - that's a sweet fucking pussy./keep kissing her, she likes it.

you do like it. arts sweet angel kisses. pink tongue licking inside your mouth, his hands on your breasts, squeezing - you like how he moans into you, like that you're making him feel good. there's a wet and warm sensation between your legs that feels amazing - you can't look down though, art keeps your mouth hostage - but you reach down and feel something soft - hair, between your legs. patricks head. you card your fingers through his hair and tug him closer - whatever he's doing between your legs - you don't want it to stop. feels slick and hot and it send tingles through your whole body. you think it's his tongue - licking between the lips of your cunt like arts tongue is licking inside the lips of your mouth.

you want to keep feeling this good forever.

[aisnextdoor]

DISJOINTED - han taesan x reader

there are far worse things to be addicted to

PAIRING: taesan x reader GENRE: established relationship, fluff | WORDCOUNT: 1.7 k WARNINGS: weed/marijuana use, smooching, minimally suggestive

The high hits you slowly, then all at once. Each time you double over to echo Jaehyun’s laughter at Riwoo’s jokes, your consciousness moves first and your body follows, slow and stilted. 

There’s a fuzziness behind your eyes, like the static of Taesan’s old records that has you reeling, head tilting back against the seat of the scratchy sofa. 

You stay like that for a bit, letting your thoughts drown out the faint hum of noises bouncing around the walls of Leehan’s basement. Thinking of nothing and everything. Losing yourself in the haze. 

There's a drag of cold fingertips against your cheeks, wandering to tuck your stray hairs behind your ear, that brings you back. The same touch tugs at the lobe gently to coax your eyes open. 

You’re rewarded with a glimpse of Taesan’s soft eyes as he takes you in. The lazy smile that pulls a bit wider at your lips, and the breathless laugh that escapes them as you reach out for him instinctively. 

Taesan obliges, like he always does, scooping you up from your spot on the floor to flop unceremoniously half on the sofa, half on his lap. 

“You’re finally here. I missed you, you took fucking forever,” you complain with a stifled yawn. A swift kiss is pressed to your cheek, the silent apology accepted with a roll of your eyes. 

“You can't possibly have missed me that much. Looks like you were having tons of fun on your own, getting started without me,” Taesan teases. His hands slide under the hem of your shirt to rub at the small of your back, snorting as you jolt at the icy temperature. 

You try to wiggle away from his frosty touch but Taesan only snakes his arms around you tighter, trailing goosebumps across your skin. “I didn't have much choice,” you grumble, “It was either smoke or have Jaehyun hog and finish it all before I can even get a whiff.” 

There's a faint yell of indignation from across the room that you ignore, instead busying yourself with untangling Taesan’s chains. You follow and separate the twists in the links up towards his neck. Your boyfriend stills his motions, busying himself instead with admiring the way your brows knit as you pull them apart.

(It was a mystery to you how Taesan’s necklaces always managed to get so tangled. You could never recall him having such problems before you started dating. Luckily for him, you were more than happy to indulge his whims and untangle them at the beginning of every meeting.)

When you’re nearly done, and you've reached the nape of his neck, the pads of your fingers brush against the long strands of Taesan’s overgrown hair. They come back cold, and you freeze looking up to blink at him owlishly, “your hair’s wet,” you say, voice tinged with bewilderment. 

Taesan leans back in a laugh, hands too occupied holding your waist to shield his smile like they normally would. “You’ve only just realized?” He shakes his head like a dog, spraying you with the remnants of the droplets that cling to his bangs. 

The splatter of cold beads makes you shriek and once again you try to cringe away from him but Taesan keeps you firmly in his grasp, smirking as you resign yourself to your captivity.  “I showered before I rushed over here,” his voice teasing as he raises an eyebrow at you, “how far gone are you that you didn't even notice?”

It's futile to deny it when your eyes are so clearly rimmed red and your head so far in the clouds but you do it anyway. “I'm not that high,” you wink, “I was just too distracted by your pretty face to pay attention to anything else.”

Taesan simply snorts, unconvinced but amused enough to not contest your obvious lies. He settles into the couch, resting his head atop yours and a comfortable silence descends upon you. Drowsiness tugs at you and you melt with your head lolled in the crook of his neck while the pair of you watch the antics of the others. 

Normally, you'd be thrown in the mix, bickering with Jaehyun and playing tricks on Sungho, but the high has you choosing to refrain from participating. Instead, you’re buried in Taesan’s arms, refusing to shift from his lap even when he jokingly whines about being suffocated and crushed. 

Past all the exaggerated groans, Taesan loves nights like this when you’re pliant, putty in his hands and clinging to him like a second skin. Taesan is free to monopolize you without any teasing remarks. Relishing instead the way you shake with laughter at the jokes he whispers into the shell of your ear, and the giggles he draws from you when he noses at your neck playfully. 

“Alright lovebirds, if you’re done being gross, I rolled the last of it. We’re headed out to grab some pizza if you two want to come,” Leehan approaches with a joint held out in his grasp. You immediately perk up, reaching for it eagerly when a much longer arm intercepts, grabbing it before you can blink.

“You guys can go, we’ll stay here. Y/N is more out of it than usual,” Taesan interjects, ignoring the way your jaw drops and the subsequent protests that follow. The whole time he holds the joint firmly out of your reach as you wrestle the limb down to try and take it. 

The commotion is enough to attract Jaehyun's attention, and he descends upon you like a hyena. “Awww little baby Y/N can't hang?” His laughter rings mockingly through your ears as he pinches your cheek. 

You splutter at the accusation, staring at Taesan to see if he was really going to let your dignity be slandered like this. “Taesan you're not serious?” you whine, trying to shake reason into him as the rest of the boys file out of the basement with calls of goodbyes and laughs. 

“I am serious, I’m not gonna let you smoke yourself sick baby,” Taesan shakes his head, easily slipping in the pet name now that it was only the two of you. You give up on arguing any further, making your displeasure apparent with the way you cross your arms tightly, refusing to face him. 

Taesan only chuckles in amusement at your petty display, digging into the pocket of jeans for his lighter. He dangles it in front of you, the familiar scuffs marring the engraved silver. “Wanna do me the honors?” his eyebrows wiggle goadingly.

There's a brief silence as your narrowed eyes ping pong between the smirk on his face and the lighter, your initials that Taesan had etched into it staring back at you mockingly. With a tortured sigh you snatch it from him, “I can’t believe you’re making me light you a joint that you won't even let me smoke,” you grumble.

“But if I light it myself you’d end up sulking because I didn't ask,” he snorts, knocking his head softly into yours. You don't bother responding (mostly because he’s right), busying yourself by popping the cap off and flicking the lighter on.

Taesan ducks closer to let the tip of the roll between his teeth meet the flame, the fire casting a warm light across the contours of his face. His eyes flicker up to meet yours and you're trapped in the warm amber of his gaze, remembering just why this was one of your favorite things to do.  

The soothing chill of his fingers wraps around yours to hold the lighter steady until a tendril of smoke rises between you two and he’s leaning back with a content hum.

It's a captivating sight, the subtle rise and fall of his chest as he inhales. The smoke billowing from Taesan’s plump lips to curl and swirl upwards, charting the lines of his features. You can see the moment he takes to assess you, mulling over an idea while you patiently wait for him to share what's occupying his mind. 

His answer comes in the form of hands tracing your jaw to pull you in closer, fingers tilting your chin upwards. There’s a gentle tap on your lower lip prompting you to part them, you comply and Taesan grants you a pleased smile at your uncharacteristic obedience. 

It makes your cheeks burn with an odd satisfaction, but you have little time to think further as Taesan takes a deep drag of the joint, your chin still firmly in his grasp. He leans in, pausing to wordlessly ask your permission and when you lean closer, he meets you halfway. 

There’s a quick brush of his lips against yours, lingering for just a second till he’s exhaling. And Instinctively you inhale, the whisper’s distance between you bridged by a stream of smoke. 

You hold it in the back of your throat for a moment before letting go, and in the same breath you rush to tease him airily, “I thought I was banned from smoking for tonight, your highness.”

Taesan slides his hand from your chin down towards your nape, his touch sweeping against your jaw. “Well… you looked so pitiful I decided to have mercy on you,” he drawls, eyes glinting mischievously in the dim light.

“Yeah right,” you scoff, “More like you just wanted an excuse to kiss me.”

Taesan shrugs, looking far from bashful as he admits smugly, “Not that I need an excuse to kiss you but sure, that might have been a motivator.” 

And now you’re breathless for a different reason as Taesan takes full advantage of the complaints that threaten to spill from your lips, silencing them instead with a firm press of his mouth on yours.

The minutes pass by like that, the two of you caught in languid kisses, only separating for much needed air or for a heatless glare when Taesan bites at you teasingly. 

The joint’s long abandoned, lost somewhere in the crevices of the couch to be found weeks later. For there's no high quite as intoxicating or as addicting as the one you get from Taesan’s lips. 

a/n: this started as a 2 am brain rot that I ended up spending way too much time on. hope u enjoyed :)

stream HOW? n EWF!!! n tell me ur fav song off the album (mine's amnesia)

[ayrtonswnna]

ʚɞ "can you bring my girlfriend?" OP81

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⋮ angst, hurt/comfort, fluff. word count: 1,7k

✧₊⁺ oscar piastri x carina duquez (female!oc)

summary: when oscar feels too much, but he'll always have his girlfriend to share life.

warnings: autor with an addiction to angst writing, mentions of a panic/anxiety attack, soft!oscar for the win, lando norris as a special guest.

Oscar feels overwhelmed.

Bahrain gets the hottest track of the year, a hard race to say the least. It feels like there's too much going on, almost like the McLaren driver could sense his skin burning even out of the car.

He usually holds good control over himself; a very disciplined athlete, he heard every call on the radio and hydrated just as much as he could, but the fuzzy feeling won't leave him.

Seeing bright and blind sparks where his vision should be, an anxiety wave crashing in his chest as he stumbles inside the papaya box.

It's not just the heat, being so self-aware makes him sure of that. The medical team follows him inside, just a plain sight, there are people around, but everything seems just too far away. Soaked in sweat and cold water, his heart is beating too fast for him to think clearly.

He needs to get Carina.

Also known as his girlfriend, his baby, his physiologist. Like, legally. Like what she does for a living. Oscar can't be her patient as part of the conduct, but she often helps him out with that kind of stuff, like identifying whether it's physical pain or just anxiety.

"No, I'm okay. I'm okay," the pilot waves his hands as the doctors approach, really focused on keeping his breath regular. "Can you just get my girlfriend? She's somewhere in the VIP. I really need her right now."

"I know you might want some comfort right now, but I need to check you right away."

"You can! Just bring my girlfriend. Can you bring my girlfriend?" As soon as he understood that the man in front of him wasn't going to move, he asked someone in the back. "She'll be here in seconds. I'll let you touch me as soon as she says I'm okay."

Yeah, the doctor is right. Oscar just wants some comfort right now. Carina, besides being very good at what she does for a living, is also an incredibly amazing girlfriend. Her powers go beyond what she studied for.

And heaven seems to be on their side today. One of the guys on the medical team heads out of the room, and Oscar just tries to breathe slowly and deeply.

Carina is there, body almost hanging on the half-wall of the accommodation, trying to get any sign of what's going on inside the papaya garage. Usually, he would wave to her every time he left the car, and that didn't happen today. She felt a sharp pain in her chest, worrying if something had happened.

She's right, somehow. Somebody dressed in McLaren's staff uniform came for her with a pass for the boxes zone and a calming voice, telling her not to worry, that Oscar is okay and just requested her presence.

But, well... Carina knows the boyfriend she got herself. There are not many people who can get into his sensitive space, and if she's being called, there is something sensitive happening. The Aussie girl flew down the access stairs and followed the woman into the light-weighted door, a few seconds until she could see Oscar's red face resting up, the back of his head against the wall, and his body curled up together.

"Hey, Osc." She uses her softest tone, leaving her purse and phone on the closest surface as she approaches. "Pretty hot track, huh?"

Easy to guess. In the past few months, all this F1 pressure started kicking in, the perks of driving a rocketship with such ability, being this much of a promise brought some other stuff to the table.

"Yeah." He muttered, eyes closed, face red. "Am I fine? I can't really feel my face or my hands... Whatever. I can't feel much. Am I okay?"

It'd be funny in some other situation. Oscar does look like a serious guy, like someone too calm and put-together. He tries very hard to be. But sometimes, just like everyone else, he wants someone with answers.

Someone else to think for him, to figure out why everything feels so tangled up.

"Fine as always." Carina keeps her voice low, the good kind of lie. He just needed to feel like he's in control. "Your face is just bloody red, but you know I really find you the cutest when you're like this."

"Stop it." A shy little laugh leaves the Aussie's lips, really less worried as she zips his fireproof down and reaches the sides of his neck, rubbing her cold hands. "Hmm... That feels good."

"Yeah? You're just overheated, okay? Can the doctors check you out? We just need to make sure you're okay."

"Yeah- Yeah, of course. You'll stay here, right? Don't leave, please."

"I'll never leave you. Let's just get checked, and then you'll head home."

So Oscar finally feels comfortable enough to let the other people in the room touch him. Carina stays by his side, even talks to the doctors, and fixes his hair sometimes.

"Ice tub, shower, and then you can head home, Oscar. You were great today." The last person on the medical team finishes cleaning up, standing up before waving a last goodbye and leaving the room.

"Do you still need me here? I can wait for you outside." Carina says softly, tucking his overgrown hair behind his ears. "Take your shower, and I'll get the car, okay?"

"Of course not," he whispers. "can't you stay?"

That's what she does. They follow each other down the corridors in the McLaren facility to where the drivers actually go post-race. A tub of cold water awaits, and Oscar takes seconds before diving in, their last moments by themselves.

"C'mon, Osc! Can't believe the heat got the best of you!" Lando shows up from the front of the garage, towel around his neck as he tries to keep the humor up. "You're okay? Did you get checked?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just got checked." He's still with his eyes closed, someone from the staff pouring one more ice bag into his tub. "It was a whole lot."

"It was, man. It is too hot around here, and the track is even worse. I thought the car was overheating!" Lando agrees. "And hey, Carina! The best medicine is love, huh? That's what they always say."

Oscar can't understand what is happening to him. He's a chill guy, always so calm and down to earth. How come the tug in his chest hits like a hammer sometimes?

It's hard to breathe, to think, and for the first time in forever... To be quiet. He tried hiding in the bathroom, tried showering. Nothing could put the feeling away, and he already felt like a burden. Carina shouldn't be fixing his mind every time something happens. His mind keeps telling him he's supposed to hold himself together.

But it's still too hard, too much.

She's sleeping. After they went back home and after everything cooled down, literally, she was still the one to order their dinner, set the bedroom, and check on him until he fell asleep on her chest. Now he is hiding in the bathroom, making sure she has time to rest.

"Baby? Are you alright? I miss you in bed; you left a while ago."

Damn, he could swear he was slick enough for her not to notice he left.

But she does, she always does. The details are some of her best qualities.

"Uh-hum. I'll be back." His hands shake, touching his own face and trying to dry the tears.

"It's cool, don't worry. Would you mind... opening the door for me? You're locked in."

Carina is good at this, she's a pro. Oscar knows she'll be the best psychologist once she finishes college just by the way she treats people around her, but mostly him.

She makes him feel comfortable before ever going to the point. He doesn't even notice she's doing it.

Still, he doesn't want to cry in front of her anymore, at least not today.

"Osc? Look, you don't need to talk or anything, I just don't want you to be alone. Because you're not."

He could swear that's procedure, although it isn't. She's just being his caring girlfriend, the one he's had ever since middle school.

"I know." The only two words he manages to say. "I'll be back, promise."

"Would you like... would you like me to be inside with you? Or would you rather spend a few more minutes alone? I can come back and check on you in ten minutes."

That could be funny. Carina sometimes uses this positive discipline thing to get in control, and being conditioned really puts Oscar's mind in place.

Her company could be good. He doesn't overthink when he's around her.

And ten minutes can feel like an eternity. So the door gets unlocked, and he steps back.

"Hey, baby..." That's when he melts completely, face hiding in the crook of Carina's neck, arms around her, and sobs a bit too loud.

She just wishes he was smaller so she could hold him fully.

"What the fuck is going on, Rina? I don't understand! Why am I like this? That's not me!" he cries. "Everything feels so different, and I just want this feeling to go away!"

"I know, baby. I know. Things are changing. You're onto big things, big results, consistency... And you're also a public figure. You're facing new things."

"And why can't I just be like Lando? Or Lewis? Or Charles? They make it all look so easy! I just... I just want to be like everyone else!"

"Oh, so you think your friends haven't felt that way? When they went through the same? I mean... Lewis is old enough to be your father so... It's been a long time." Yeah, the humor and the way she runs her fingers through his spine. It all makes the feeling sink down. "Ask Lando, or whoever. I'm sure they faced what you're facing right now. Last year you were a rookie and now you're winning races!"

Not another word in the conversation; only Oscar's body getting heavy and the sobs becoming softer and softer. Carina has no idea how much he has slept.

"You're amazing, Osc. We will get through this, okay?"

"I love you," he whispers. "So, so much... I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You would surely get no sleep. Let's go to bed, wash your face, and go to bed." Her hands travel his back a little more. "I love you too, baby. So, so much."

[xomakara]

Riding The Heat

SUMMARY |  You, an omega, go on tour with your alpha, Yeosang, and his group mates since your heat is due to hit soon. Tensions run high during the concert when your heat starts and you can't help but wait until after the concert to ride out your heat with Yeosang.

PAIRINGS |  Yeosang x Reader

RATING |  Mature, NSFW, EXPLICIT, MDNI, 18+

GENRE |  Alpha!Yeosang, Omega!Reader, non-idol au, established relationship, smut, Omegaverse

CONTENT/WARNINGS | profanity/strong language, unprotected sex (wrap it up ya’ll!), dirty talk, oral sex (male giving/female receiving), praise kink, pet names, hotel sex, creampie, knotting, bonding/mating, impregnation

LENGTH |  3,439 words

TAGLIST |  @cyd0129

NETWORKS | @illusionnet @atzhouse @cromernet @wonderlandnet @k-vanity @othersideoutlawsnetwork @ksmutsociety

AUTHOR’S NOTE |  Hi there. Linda here. This is my first foray into the Omegaverse and I hope it's okay lol. I never wrote anything like this so I hope it turned out okay! I'm so sorry about the wait! Show you support by liking, commenting, reblogging. Love you 🩵

"Yeosang," You muttered as you clung to his arms. You were shaking from the need to have your alpha, the scent of him alone was making you drool. You wanted him so bad, but he had a concert to finish. 

"It's almost over, baby." Yeosang promised and pecked your cheek before turning to the crowd again. You were backstage where you were out of sight, but you could hear them clearly. They were screaming his name, his members' names. Your alpha was so popular, but he was yours.

"I know, but I want you now." You whined and pushed your nose against his neck. His scent was calming, it eased the heat enough for you to think a bit more clearly. You didn't know how long that would last, but you weren't going to complain.

"You can't have me now." Yeosang chuckled, the vibration made your stomach do flips. You were so weak for him. "Just a bit longer. The concert is almost done."

"Fine." You gave in and leaned back. It was going to be hard, but you could last. Hopefully.

"There's my good girl." Yeosang purred and cupped your cheeks. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before turning to the stage once again.

You had to take a few deep breaths. The only thing keeping you calm was his scent. It was a little overwhelming, but it was better than the alternative. You didn't like when he had to leave, but you knew you wouldn't be able to handle the public. Not with the way things were now.

The rest of the concert was a blur. You had zoned out, your body was getting hotter by the minute. It was taking everything you had to not start humping Yeosang. The thought had crossed your mind multiple times, but you held yourself back. He would take care of you soon, he promised.

You weren't sure how long the concert lasted. To you it felt like a lifetime, but in reality it had only been an hour or two. It was hard to tell in your current state. The heat was taking a toll on you. Your mind was fuzzy, and you couldn't remember what you were doing.

"Y/n? Can you hear me?" Yeosang's voice rang through the haze. He sounded distant, but he was holding you in his arms. You could smell him. The smell was comforting, your mind was telling you that it was your alpha. You wanted to respond, but it was hard to form any words. "Baby, come on."

"Hurts." You whimpered and curled up closer. You were clinging to his shirt, wrinkling it in the process. The fabric felt soft against your skin, his scent was overwhelming. You needed him, and you needed him now.

"I know, baby. I'll make it better." Yeosang tried to soothe you, but his words didn't help much. He could sense how bad it was getting, and it worried him. You were never like this during your heats. Something was different.

"Yeosang." You cried and nuzzled his neck. His scent was helping, but you needed more. You needed his knot. You needed his cock. You needed your alpha.

"Shh. We're almost there. Hang in there baby." Yeosang promised, but you couldn't hold on for much longer. Your body was aching, it hurt to breathe. Everything was so hot, you just wanted it to stop.

"Please." You whined. The heat was getting worse, the need was starting to take over. It was becoming too much, you couldn't handle it anymore. "Please. Please."

"We're here baby." Yeosang announced as the car came to a stop. He scooped you up and carried you inside, he wasn't going to wait for the others. They could catch a cab. You were his main priority.

You buried your face in his neck as he walked. The heat was too much. Everything was hot, and the way his fingers dug into your thighs wasn't helping. You wanted him, but he had to get to the hotel room.

"Come on." Yeosang kicked open the door to his room and carried you inside. You were thankful that the others weren't there, you weren't sure how you would feel if they were. You needed to be alone with your alpha, and he knew that.

"Yeosang." You groaned and clawed at his chest. It was too much. You couldn't take it. You needed him. "Please. Hurry."

"Patience baby." Yeosang hummed as he laid you down on the bed. He hovered above you, his scent was stronger now. It was clouding your mind, it was almost impossible to think. All you could think about was your alpha and his cock. "I'm going to take care of you. Just hold on."

"Please. Need you." You whined, tears started to well up in your eyes. The pain was getting worse, the heat was taking over. Your body was acting on instinct, all you could focus on was mating with your alpha.

"I'm right here." Yeosang promised, his fingers gently traced over your cheek. His touch was calming, but it wasn't enough. He wasn't touching you where you needed him.

Yeosang slowly slid his hand down, his touch ghosted along your sides. It made you shudder under him. His hand came to a stop on your thigh, and he gently coaxed your legs apart. You eagerly obeyed and parted them for him.

"You're already so wet baby." Yeosang commented and moved so he was kneeling between your legs. His eyes focused on your glistening core, he licked his lips. His alpha was starting to show, he could smell you, and it was driving him insane. "Can't wait to taste."

You squirmed beneath him, you weren't able to wait much longer. You needed something, anything to satiate the aching need in your stomach. The heat was building, and his teasing wasn't helping. You tried to hold back, but your instincts were taking over. Your heat was growing and you needed something, you needed your alpha's knot.

"Please." You hissed impatiently. A frustrated whine followed, your hands gripped the sheets tight. The urge to mount him was starting to become uncontrollable. If you couldn't find relief, you would find it yourself. You would take control of the situation and fuck yourself on his cock, just to satiate the desire. "Yeosang. Please."

"So impatient. So needy." Yeosang tutted, his nose bumped against your knee as his lips dragged along the soft flesh. "How bad do you want it? Want to cum around my tongue or my fingers? Or should I make you wait a little longer? Make you cum on my cock?"

Yeosang's scent surrounded you. You could feel his breath brush against the skin of your inner thighs. His tongue followed shortly, licking a stripe right against your core. His teasing was torture, it made you whine and wiggle.

"I can smell you baby. It's so strong. The whole hotel can probably smell it too." Yeosang growled in a low voice, he shifted to cage you in. His arms blocked your view of him. Only the feeling of his fingers ghosting over your skin reminded you that he was real. You didn't see him moving until his mouth pressed against your mound.

Yeosang kissed your clothed pussy, and your hips immediately bucked up. A soft groan escaped his lips, and you gasped when his breath hit the sensitive bundle of nerves. The sensation was driving you crazy. You needed his mouth, you needed his knot.

"What do we say Y/N?" Yeosang urged, his fingers rubbed slow circles along your inner thighs. "Come on baby. You know the rules."

"Yeosangie. Alpha." You mewled and looked down at him. He was between your legs, his head was facing your pussy and your thighs were pressed against his cheeks. It was one of the hottest sights you had seen, you couldn't keep your hands to yourself.

"That's my girl." Yeosang praised and lifted his hands so he could hook his thumbs around the waistband of your panties. He dragged the wet fabric down, taking extra care to avoid contact with your pussy. He was teasing you.

Your panties were soon forgotten, lost in the pile of clothes somewhere behind him. Yeosang let out another growl and his eyes narrowed at your bare pussy. It was glistening and dripping from your heat.

"My good girl. I knew you could wait for me." Yeosang praised again, a soft moan following. His lips dragged over your exposed skin, right above your clit, and then he kissed lower. He avoided the area where you needed him most, focusing on anywhere else he could get to without moving too much.

"Yes." You whimpered and tried to rub your legs together. Anything to ease the ache between your thighs. Your core ached, and your stomach flipped.

"What a pretty little cunt you have, baby girl. All soft and pink for me." Yeosang growled with arousal lacing his voice, "All mine. My precious little omega, let me take care of you. Alright Y/N?"

"Yes, Yeosang." You repeated, and Yeosang seemed satisfied with your answer.

"Good girl. Just for me."

Yeosang trailed the tip of his index finger around your clit, tracing delicate circles and you bucked against him. His thumb worked with his finger, adding to the stimulation.

Your clit pulsed and begged for his touch, but he still teased. Circling it, and dragging his finger through your folds before ghosting around the tight hole of your pussy.

His breath hit the skin of your inner thighs lightly while he pressed feather kisses there. His teeth dragged against your thigh occasionally, pulling the skin between his teeth.

"Fuck baby, you're already soaked and dripping for me." Yeosang rasps out while leaning down, spreading you open wide.

"Yeosang, please."

You saw a devilish look on his face and the last thing you knew was the feeling of his mouth. Latching on your pussy, making out with your most private parts. His mouth moved between kissing, sucking and nibbling all on the most sensitive spot of you.

While his left arm was hooked under your knee, his right was planted against the mattress in order to help steady himself. You ran both of your hands through the soft, black silky locks and tugged him forward to push more against you. His head was so close you could feel his rapid breath, warm against your pussy as he took it in.

It felt incredible.

Every lick or nudge of Yeosang's soft, plush lips was making the pressure build higher inside your body, and the feeling intensified as his tongue started to probe deeper inside.

"Oh fuck, just like that…" You whined. Your grip on Yeosang's head tightened, earning a muffled hum from him and an even harsher bite, his lips sucking and latching to your most sensitive area, which made you wail.

Yeosang growled and tugged you closer. His free arm held down your other thigh, effectively locking you in place. You wanted to rock your hips, the pressure was driving you mad. It was building and burning through your veins. Yeosang could feel it. He kept going, and going, and going.

You don't know what his tongue was doing to you, but it was an earth shattering experience that has made you fall apart in pleasure.

Yeosang had slowed down slightly to lazily lapping at you. He could sense that you were getting close and he was enjoying it.

"Fuck. Baby. More. More." You managed to plead, "Need it harder. Need it more, please."

He then kissed his way to the sensitive bundle, engulfing it fully.

And it drove you straight over the edge, the combination of his tongue and the vibrations from his growls. It was too much. Your body seized up, hands gripping the sheets hard and legs tightening as you rode out your climax.

His lips were wet and your clit throbbed as he softly kissed the raw bundle of nerves.

The entire time you were gasping and mumbling nonsense while your climax ripped through you. When you finally fell silent and motionless except for your harsh breathing Yeosang's gentle licks slowed.

"So good for me," Yeosang praises while lifting his head to smirk at you. Your juices were coating his lips, chin and cheek. Yeosang pushed up on his hands, peering down at you before bringing a hand to his mouth and wiping off his lips, cheeks, and chin with the back of it.

"I know you just came but fuck, I need to be in you." He growls low and slowly unbuckles his pants as he keeps eye contact with you, making it seem like a dangerous event. You never take your eyes off him when he crawls back over you, only to flip you over. "I want to fuck you again and again until you can't breathe. Breed you over and over and you beg me to stop."

With this position, you now could not see his face but could now feel it. He leaned over you and sucked on the back of your neck while using his other hand to grip your hips in order to force himself up into your soaked pussy. You whimper with the sudden intrusion but were still nice and loose.

As Yeosang rammed his thick and lengthy dick into you with ease, you clutched the comforters on his hotel bed. The feeling of him sliding into your raw and bare pussy made the blood rush and caused the flames in your core to become fanned by him. Yeosang groaned and buried his cock deeper into your needy hole. He whispered more vulgar things into your ear. He liked talking filthy to you because you enjoyed it so much, which only turned you on further.

"Fuck," Yeosang mumbled and grunted lowly. "This tight little omega cunt was just waiting for my cock, wasn't it?" Yeosang moaned.

As you gasped for more air, he roughly smacked your ass and plunged his dick so deep you felt as if you were going to faint. This wasn't exactly mating season yet, but with your intense heat you would've sworn it was. It was so rough and perfect you could see your slick dripping down his thighs, glistening in the dull hotel light. You would normally have the strength and self awareness to act embarrassed, but now all you cared about was riding out this heat until it passed and his knot swelled in your dripping pussy.

"P-please," you stuttered out between Yeosangs powerful thrusts, your breath hitched and tears threatened your vision as your legs quivered. "Wanna— wanna come on you. On your cock. Want you to breed me, baby."

At your begging pleas, Yeosang bit the shell of your ear. "That's it, angel. Such a good fucking omega. Good girl. Look at you."

Yeosang wasn't often one to lose himself, but with the heat-scented haze consuming him it's hard. You needed a distraction, so you allowed the warm fuzzy feeling in your chest consume your emotions.

"Tell me," he husks against your shoulder blade. "Tell me who you belong to."

Yeosang watched the roll of your spine beneath your dress as you rocked your hips and walls along his shaft, groaning in response. "I am yours," you answered, breath hitching when your clit hit against the hard bones of his hips. "I've only been yours."

You wanted to tell him to fill you up with his cum. You needed his seed. That was the goal here. His knot would form inside you. It'll leave you full for several days, and possibly even bearing his pup. Your rational self told you not to say such things aloud, but your body burned with lust. "Need your knot so bad. Please Yeosang," you gasped loudly, desperately.

"Of course, my angel," Yeosang coos in agreement. "I'll breed my little omega bitch. Fill you up."

"Hnnnnn," you groaned. Yeosang's praising sent butterflies and waves of pleasure straight to your core. You craved his praise. It meant you were being good. Being a good omega made your alpha feel good. "Want you. So badly. Love when you fill me with your cum and k-knot me. I want your p-pups. So b-bad!"

"You want my pup, angel? I'll give you a family, hm?"

Your stomach was on fire. Yeosang's pace picked up, pounding against a spot inside you that lit up every nerve. Yeosang was able to maintain composure through his pleasure. You were reduced to a drooling, sobbing mess with nothing to distract you from the heavenly pleasure filling you up.

"Can't wait til you're round and full with my pups. Everyone will know who you belong to and you'll never want anything else," He grunts between thrusts. "Your slutty hole only exists to be bred and pumped full of my load. Ain't that right, baby?"

"Y-yes," You agreed. He could feel the build up. Your body felt tighter and tighter, constricting against him as you begged for him. "My hole is so greedy for your fat knot. Please... I want to carry your pups. I need it. I'm desperate for it, Yeosang. Desperate for you."

Yeosang dragged another growl from his throat, gripping onto you impossibly tighter. "Just like I knew you'd be. Such a perfect little omega, only wanting my cum. Good girl," his words come out lower in pitch and slightly slurred as a groan bubbles past his throat. He flipped you over, your back now against the mattress and his hand planted above your head on the bed, boxing you in. The position made you whimper, almost completely pinned, and the sight of Yeosang towering over you sent you into a wave of pleasure.

"Close. I'm- fuck I'm gonna. Y-Yeosangie-" You whined, staring at him with those puppy dog eyes of yours. He loved hearing that, so it encouraged him more.

"Do it, angel. Be a good omega and cum on my cock. Then I'll mate and knot you. I'll fill you and breed you til you're bloated. Then I'll stuff you full of it again." Yeosang snarls into your collar, licking the spot where he's going to make his mark. Your nails claw down his back as you go stiff beneath him.

As soon as Yeosang's cock drilled deep and found the spongy spot inside you, all of your muscles seized up and contracted as a euphoric climax struck. He rubbed against your g-spot as well, resulting in an unstoppable wave of bliss as you rode your high and let out a scream.

Yeosang released hot spurts of semen as his dick shot its load, effectively burying his seed inside you. His knot began to swell, forcing it to plug up inside your tight cunt as he filled you up. He snarled as he locked inside you and latched onto the column of your neck, biting into the skin.

You wailed out his name, feeling the rush of his essence as your body throbbed and you came to the highest high you'd ever felt. After he was done feeding you his cum and sealing the mating process with a kiss over his mark, Yeosang lay with your naked bodies intertwined and stroking your hair while soothing your body with gentle kisses.

You lay there exhausted, face pressed into the crook of his neck and gasping.

Yeosang combed his fingers through your hair, smiling. Your body tingles with satisfaction as the last remains of the heat roll off you and you could relax in his arms, knowing he had done everything he could to please you.

"Aren't you glad I suggested you come on tour with me?" Yeosang jokes softly, peppering sweet kisses to your temple.

"Yeosang." You nudge him playfully, smiling shyly and taking a hold of his free hand, bringing it to your stomach. You could only hope a pup had successfully grown and lived within there, or it at least would try and live.

"What?" Yeosang blinks with curious eyes. His smile and cute dimples greet you, and for a second you think everything will be okay. Even if it doesn't happen right away, the future is always bright.

"I love you. So much." You tell him, pecking his lips. "And we're going to make such a good family."

Yeosang smiles at this, kissing the tip of your nose, "I love you too. More than words can express. And if we don't conceive this time, that's okay. We have a lifetime together and we will continue trying until you're full with our child."

You smile.

Yeosang was absolutely right.

You have a lifetime together.

[gurugirl]

Can We Start Over | Ch. 4 The Exit Strategy

Series Summary: From the first day you and Harry meet, your relationship is beyond complicated. A one night stand leads to hurt feelings and then a job opportunity that you simply can't pass up is offered. But can you handle working for a man like him? rich!harry x plus size!reader | enemies to lovers

A/N: This is a 5 part series commissioned by @justfattiethings (thank you hon!).

Chapter 4. Summary: It's hard for Harry to overcome not feeling a bit hurt after you left him the way you did but there are bigger issues you need to tackle, like the fact that Harry's doing something shady as well as figuring out how you feel about him.

Word Count: 9k

Warning: 18+ only, feelings of confusion and turmoil, angst, illegal dealings

Can We Start Over? masterlist

Harry woke up alone in your hotel room. He sat up and rubbed his hand over his chest and he couldn’t help but smile thinking about what had happened the night before.

But he couldn’t figure out exactly where you’d gone. He peeked into your bathroom and then stepped into his room, “Y/n?” You were nowhere to be seen. The smile he wore fell when he realized you weren’t there. Perhaps you’d just stepped out for a moment? But why? Harry looked at the clock to see it was only just past 7 am. For coffee perhaps?

Harry slid on a pair of pants and the shirt he wore the night before as he found his shoes and his key card. He figured he’d go find you. Something told him you hadn’t simply stepped out to grab a coffee.

“Y/n?” You quickly turned and saw Harry heading toward you. You’d been sitting in the lobby looking out the window. It was rainy. You’d planned on a walk but weren’t too fond of getting yourself all wet just so you could go through your existential crisis outside.

Standing up from your spot you gave him a weak smile.

“What are you doing? Is everything okay?” Harry stood in front of you and dropped his eyes over your frame. He looked frazzled. His shirt was mostly left unbuttoned and his hair was a mess. But the way he seemed worried had you suddenly feeling bad for the way you left him. But it wasn’t like you could stay either.

“I uh…” you scratched at your neck and frowned, “Needed some air. Needed to think about last night.”

“Okay. But did I do something wrong?”

You blinked your eyes and looked toward the front desk where someone had approached reception before looking back at him, “No, you didn’t. I woke up and realized… it didn’t feel right.”

Harry stood with his mouth agape for a moment before he began to shake his head, “Let’s go back up to the room to talk. We can’t do this here.”

You nodded, “Okay.”

He had turned around before you could even get out a response. He could tell by your demeanor what was going on. You regretted it. And now he felt like shit. He braced himself mentally for you to reject him.

The silence on the way up to your room was loud. Harry had his arms crossed over his chest as he kept his eyes down. He was clearly going over in his mind what had gone wrong.

And you figured maybe he’d give you the silent treatment once you got into your room but the moment the door was closed behind you he started, “Did I do something wrong, Y/n? Tell me the truth.”

You shook your head and looked at his face, “No. Of course not. I wanted it. I just…” you sighed and sat down in the chair by the window. Your head was fuzzy. Not only had you gotten little sleep everything with Harry was confusing. Your feelings surrounding him didn’t make any sense.

“You just what?” He leaned his back into the wall across from you and crossed his arms over his chest again. Now he looked like he was becoming angry.

“I feel like that was a big mistake. I should have known better than to do that.”

“Are you serious? You felt like that was a mistake?” He gestured with his arm before tucking it back against his chest.

Nodding you put your palms on your thighs and looked down, “It just can’t happen ever again. We shouldn’t have done it. I regret it.”

There it was. Harry pushed himself off the wall and laughed as he shook his head, “Wow. Okay. I asked you if you wanted it. If you were comfortable… But now you’re telling me it was a mistake? How do you think this makes me feel? Waking up alone thinking I was gonna have you there with me in bed. Really thought you were okay with it. Fuck…”

You watched him pace the room, “Last night I wanted it. I just… I woke up and felt like this shouldn’t have happened.”

Harry nodded and put his hands on his hips as he watched the floor, “Fine. You win. This back and forth between us,” he looked at you, “No more. That’s why I was cold toward you, and kept you at a distance, Y/n because it’s easier for me to be that way. The moment you wanted us to be amicable… I tried. But I hear you now. Loud and clear.”

Needless to say, the flight back was like torture. Harry hardly spoke to you and he certainly didn’t look at you. You had to jog to keep up with him half the time. Part of you was worried that he’d have the driver leave without you when he was already outside at the car and you were struggling with your suitcase which had lost one of its wheels somehow.

He finally did speak to you when you arrived at his home, “You’re free to do as you please today. No work. I’m gonna go out. We’ll get back to it in the morning.”

And that was it. You didn’t see him after he went to his room and you didn’t hear him leave but you knew he did.

“We had sex.” You called Brandy as you walked around in the back garden, after making sure you were totally alone and no one could overhear you.

“I knew you would, he–“

“No. It’s not like, Brandy. I hate that I did. I feel awful. I feel like I disrespected myself for it. What he did to me? That first night? How can I even feel attraction toward him? Sure he apologized and I understand what happened, but the fact remains, he treated me like garbage.”

“Y/n, don’t beat yourself up. You’re only human. And you two do have a connection, even if it’s small. He likes you. But it’s okay to not do it again. You still have a job right?”

You sighed, “Yeah. I don’t think he’ll fire me but… I don’t know if I can handle working for him anymore. What if something happens again? I’m just gonna keep feeling bad and Harry’s gonna get mad. Like now. He’s pissed.”

“Why is he pissed?”

“Because he woke up and I wasn’t there and told him it was a mistake so now he feels responsible I guess. I don’t know. He’s not really been talking to me since I told him I regret it.”

There was silence from Brandy for a beat as you sat on the bench under the trees at the far end of the garden.

“Was it good at least?”

You rolled your eyes, “Brandy…” you said in warning.

“Hey. I’m your best friend. You don’t have to act all high and mighty with me. You had sex with him again. Was it good? Like, at least if it was good then you can walk away knowing you had one last good time.”

“Of course it was. He’s good. But that’s really not the point, Brandy.”

“I know it’s not the point. I’m trying to get details from you is all. I’m nosey and what can even I say to make you feel better anyway? I feel like sometimes you take yourself way too seriously, Y/n. It could be good to lighten up a little. I know this feels like a big deal to you. I get it. I’m here to listen but there’s nothing anyone can say to you or anything you can do to reverse what happened. I’m here for you but truly. You could just calm down a little. Lighten up a touch.”

“Lighten up? Are you saying this is somehow my fault?”

“I didn’t say that. Why does this have to be anyone’s fault? Why point fingers? Shit happens. Why do you always need someone to blame?”

You sighed and closed your eyes, “I know. I like things neatly categorized and this is so not neat or categorized… I just feel like since I don’t know where to put this feeling it has to have a reason. But you’re right. The reason is just that…”

“Is just that you’re human and you gave in to a very human need. So did he. You both did nothing wrong in this case. I mean, maybe not the best idea to sleep with your boss, but like…” she laughed.

“Yeah, that’s another thing that’s hard for me to wrap my mind around. I slept with my boss. How do I go from here?”

Brandy chuckled into the receiver, “God you’re so dramatic, Y/n. I love you but you take shit way too seriously sometimes. Some things don’t need to be explained. Okay? Now you’ve got what you want, right? He’s probably not going to be flirty with you anymore after this since you told him it was a mistake. No more sex with the boss.”

You and Brandy were pretty much opposites when it came to personalities. She was light-hearted and went with the flow, while you were serious and liked order. You knew she was too light-hearted at times, though. Some things were serious and did need explanations so you could learn from them and never do it again.

But sometimes she was right. She had a good point about this issue. What could be done? You’d told Harry your feelings about sleeping with him again and even if it did hurt his feelings or make him mad you did what you felt was right for yourself. And that was that. What more could you do?

.           .           .

Harry walked through his front door sweaty after his run. It was 8:30 am. Your mornings usually started at 8. When you’d gone into his office and he wasn’t there you set up your laptop and then went down to the kitchen to get coffee.

It was unlike him. Normally he was ready for the day before you’d even woken up.

You watched him walk past you, not a single word as he went upstairs where you imagined he would go shower and then he’d join you in his office after he was done.

Except he didn’t go into his office. You were sat in your usual spot and responding to a couple of emails before you saw one from him.

Book two business class seats (not together) to Buenos Aires for the Friday after next, returning Sunday. See the attached for the email of the person we’ll be meeting and book the hotel he recommended. Set up our meetings and get the wire information from him in advance. Send to me before finalizing anything so I can look it over.

You frowned at this. You didn’t like that he was emailing you rather than speaking to you. You didn’t want him angry with you but you supposed this might be better than him being too friendly.

Harry’s attitude the rest of the week was the same. He only spoke to you when it was absolutely necessary. Not once did you find his gaze on you. No smiles or laughing. Nothing.

You hadn’t expected him to be so cold with you. You figured the boundaries you were placing with him were good ones. That he’d come around and understand why they needed to be established.

But instead of him being nice to you and having evening chats in his kitchen after Carl left and getting to know him slowly, he was completely shut off. You could say that he was being professional with you. Which was what you wanted.

Not like this, though. Not with barely a glance or a friendly smile. Not a single dimple showed itself to you over the next weeks.

And now here you were with him in Argentina where you should be enjoying red wine and empanadas but instead, you were sitting quietly while he conducted his meeting with the seller.

You said no to wine. It didn’t feel right. He didn’t push you. In fact, you heard him let out an annoyed short laugh and a mumbled suit yourself.

The man you were meeting with had a small stone sculpture that was considered an ancient artifact. You didn’t know how it was that he procured the item but it seemed like something that should have been in a museum. You did learn that many years ago it was considered stolen or lost. That didn’t sit well with you.

And when you tried to confront Harry about that he said nothing. He did look at you. His severe gaze sliced into you before he looked back at his computer and continued doing whatever it was.

You wanted to ask more questions. The man wasn’t even a gallery owner or someone from whom you’d normally buy art. The whole thing was shady. Something was off and Harry was giving you nothing.

But when you heard the price tag of the item you coughed and your eyes widened. The three of you were in a small dark room with shelves and boxes and the sculpture was sitting on a table under a light as Harry carefully inspected it.

“It’s legit. This is the real thing. I’ll let you look this over,” the man handed Harry a manila folder, “…you can see the paper trail. Where it stops. The timeline matches up. I’ll give you three hours to make a decision but after that, I have to move it to a safer location. I hope you understand the time constraint.”

You and Harry left the building, in silence as became your norm, and got into the car to head back to the hotel.

You watched Harry look through the paperwork and check the provenance but you knew this item was not going to have everything in place since it seemed it had been lost for some time. Big red flag. Perhaps this was what made Harry the kind of money he had. Dealing with lost or stolen artifacts was big money and definitely illegal. He had told you that he never did anything illegal.

Back at the hotel, Harry pointed, “Meet me in my room. Get your laptop. We have some work to do if we want to make this deal in the next three hours.”

You felt nervous. Felt sick to your stomach. Something was amiss about this whole deal and you didn’t like it. You weren’t sure you wanted to be involved at all.

When you got to Harry’s room he was on the phone with someone, “I saw it in person. It’s real. They are asking 2 but I can talk them down to 1.7. From there you and I can discuss what you’re willing to pay me but with the risk I’m taking I’d want a minimum of 2.5.”

He was discussing money. And you knew he was talking millions. The risk was that it was something that should not be on the market to purchase.

You waited for him to get off the phone before you spoke up, “Is this an illegal transaction?”

Harry looked down at his cell phone and typed something in before looking at you, unaffected, “No. I told you. Nothing I do is technically illegal.”

“I don’t want this to come back to bite me. If I’m involved in this and something happens? I could be linked somehow and I don’t  –“

“Nothing is going to happen other than a huge payout. Just do your job, Y/n. I need you to find everything you can about this,” he clicked his phone and looked back at you, “Just sent it to your email. Look through everything and compare it to the photos I attached. Go down the checklist attached and make notes. The item had some damage and I need to get his rate down so my client will be happy with the price.”

You got to work. Even if you were hesitant a bit, you didn’t want to disappoint Harry. He was your boss above all. And you were stuck in Argentina with him.

But the more you learned the worse it was. The item had been stolen during World War II. Now that was a long time ago but still. You understood why what Harry was doing wasn’t “technically” illegal. Because the client would be the one wiring the full amount and from there, Harry would meet in person with the client to get his cut once you got back to the U.S and he handed the item over to them. It was illegal but it wouldn’t come back to Harry. His name wouldn’t be associated with the transaction.

When you’d given Harry everything you found he seemed pleased.

“I don’t think this is a good idea.” You said as you stood in front of him as he looked over the provenance and your findings.

“And what do you suggest? Just walk away? You do realize your salary is based on how much money I make, right?”

You nodded, “Yeah but if it’s illegal then I don’t want to be part of this. And Harry, this is illegal. Maybe your name isn’t on anything but this whole thing is–“

“Stop! I already lost out on the last big deal because of you and I’m not doing it anymore. You’re nothing but an employee to me, Y/n. That’s what you wanted so that’s what you’ll get.” He made it a point to remind you that his behavior was your fault.

You dropped your mouth open and felt your heart drop. He blamed you for the failed deal with Hallie? You didn’t know what to say. It made you feel awful. You felt the sting of tears in your eyes as you looked down and turned away from him so he couldn’t see what his words had done to you.

“Now let’s get ready. Meet me in the lobby in thirty minutes.”

You stayed quiet during the whole thing, which seemed to be your new norm. You didn’t even look at Harry. You wouldn’t. You tried to get over the hurt feelings you had but that turned into anger. You were feeling mad. He was a true asshole and you were glad you had that clarity now. No more feeling bad for hurting his feelings. He was probably faking his feelings anyway.

After the deal was done you both went back to the hotel together but Harry left to get dinner. Alone. You ordered room service.

And you weren’t going to be drinking anymore. Not while you were anywhere near Harry. If there was even a chance you’d see him you’d not be drinking. That seemed to make you forgive him too quickly and you didn’t want to forget about how angry you were with him.

.           .           .

Nothing changed even when you got back to the U.S. Harry hardly spoke to you unless it had something to do with work. He didn’t even ask you to get his lunches from Carl anymore. And if you saw him in the kitchen late at night you’d just turn around and walk away. You didn’t have anything to say to him.

You sucked it all up, though. The money he was paying you was good. Very good. But you weren’t sure how much longer you could last. You could only be his punching bag for so long.

Every morning you would get your coffee and Harry’s for him as well before bringing it into his office to begin your day. That morning was like every other morning. Or at least you thought it was.

“Y/n can you close the door behind you? We need to talk about something private.”

You paused at the door and as you looked at Harry behind his big desk you took your foot to gently shut the door since your hands were full.

Placing Harry’s mug down on his desk you sat down in your usual spot and waited for him to speak.

He sat back in his chair and turned to look at you, his expression unreadable, “I need you to sign this,” he slid a piece of paper across his desk toward you, “It’s a confidentiality agreement. I should have had you sign it when I first brought you on but… Well, now’s a good time I think.”

You picked up the paper and looked it over. An NDA. He wanted you to keep your mouth shut about the illegal things he was doing. And you were sure this was his plan all along. To hire you, give you a taste of that big fat salary and the kind of lifestyle he paid for you to enjoy, and then hit you with this.

“Why would I sign this? It only protects you?”

Harry reached for his coffee and took a sip before responding, “Because I’m telling you to sign it. Because I’m your boss. Because I need you to keep quiet about what you’ve seen if you’re going to work for me.”

You shook your head and sat the paper down on his desk before picking up your coffee mug and sipping it slowly then taking a deep breath for what you were about to tell this asshole, “I’m not signing it. You either trust me or you don’t. And if you don’t then I’ll leave right now and you can find someone else to be your bitch. I’m not someone you can just walk all over. I’m not taking the fall for you ever.”

“Is this really how it’s going to be? You’re willing to walk away from this job because of an NDA?”

You nodded, “Absolutely. It’s an insult to me and my character. I take this job seriously and you know that. This is you trying to exert your power over me and I’m not falling for it.”

Harry stood up from his desk and walked to his window with his back to you as you stayed seated comfortably and took another drink of your coffee.

On the outside, you appeared calm but on the inside, you were freaking out. This could be it. You would probably be losing your job now that you were taking a stand against Harry.

“I didn’t want it to be like this, Y/n. I thought maybe you’d understand the need for this agreement,” he turned toward you and walked to his desk, putting his palms down on the wood with his eyes on you, “Sign it. Please.”

You laughed and sat your mug down before standing up from your chair, “No.”

Harry rubbed his hands over his face, “God damnit!” He paced toward his bookshelf and back, “I need you to sign that. I’m gonna be honest here and say I don’t want to have to find anyone to replace you. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, “I’m not signing it, Harry. I already told you that if you feel like you can’t trust me at my word I’m out.”

Harry rounded the desk and stood in front of you, “I trust you but this,” he pointed at the document, “needs to get signed.”

Shaking your head you let out an incredulous laugh, “You know what? I don’t need any of this. You and your shady deals… the way you treat me–“

“How do I treat you? Hm?” He blocked you from stepping away from him.

You swallowed, “You’re not nice. Just because I felt uncomfortable after we had sex, you got your ego hurt or whatever and so you’re taking it out on me and… acting like I did something wrong.”

“I’m treating you the way you want to be treated, Y/n. This is exactly what you wanted. Is it not? Because you know what’s going to happen if we get too friendly again. So it’s this or the alternative.”

You tried to step to the side and move around him but he followed, staying directly in your path, “You’re not leaving this room until you sign that,” he pointed at his desk as his eyes bore into you.

“You can’t make me sign that, Harry. You have no power over this situation and you know it.”

“I don’t want to fire you, Y/n. Please just sign it.” He sounded defeated.

You pushed at his arm lightly to get him to move out of your way but he wrapped his hands under your forearms to hold you in place, “Y/n, look at me.”

You huffed and looked up at him, held in place by his hands and speaking through clenched teeth, “What?”

“I need this from you. Okay? It’s me. You can trust me. I know you know that. I might not be the nicest person to you but that’s just so we can maintain a professional relationship like you want. Please, Y/n.”

You couldn't understand why it was so important to him. If he trusted you he wouldn’t need it. But he did seem desperate.

“I can’t sign that. That’s incriminating to me if anything were to ever get out. My signature with a promise of silence? No. No way.”

Harry looked up at the ceiling and groaned before he looked back down at you his hands moving up to your upper arms, holding you still, “I’ll give you a raise. I’ll make it worth your while, Y/n. What do you want from me? What will it take to get you to sign it?”

You pulled your brows together and shook your head, “There’s nothing you can do to get me to sign that, Harry. This is a matter of trust. And it’s an insult. Another fucking insult from you.”

“No. It’s not an insult. It’s not personal. I trust you. I do. I swear.”

“Then you don’t need that do you?”

He was standing too close and his fingers were digging into your shirt over your skin and it felt like you couldn’t breathe. You noticed the stubble along his jaw and the darker patch of growth above his lip. Normally he was quite clean-shaven. Sometimes he’d let it go for a few days and you had to admit, you kind of liked the overgrown, unkempt look.

“Y/n,” he closed his eyes and you saw him clench his jaw before he looked back down at you, stepping in closer, “I… fine. You don’t have to sign it today. I can’t lose you or have you walk out on me. If we can trust each other then we can make this work. Will you take some time to at least consider signing it?”

You sighed and looked down at his shirt for an escape from his gaze, “I don’t know. I don’t think I can ever sign that.”

He released one of your arms and put his hand on your chin, pushing your eyes back up to his, “Just don’t walk out, okay? I’m worried you’re gonna quit and I’m gonna be fucked without you.”

You hated that you loved his hands on you. All it took was his nearness and his soft eyes looking into yours. But you didn't know how to respond exactly. You were glad he wasn’t going to make you sign it, yet. But how long did you have before he was badgering you about it again? You were still going to say no.

“If you trust me, you don’t need my signature on that document. I’ll never put pen to that paper, Harry.”

“Y/n…” his voice came out in a whisper as he moved his other hand up to your face, his thumb at your temple, “I just want to know you’ll stay. Forget the document right now.”

Even though you knew what was happening you couldn’t figure out why you weren’t trying to stop it. Why you weren’t pushing him away and telling him to keep his hands to himself.

“I’m here right now aren’t I?” You whispered back to him and suddenly your hands were on his forearms as he cupped your face in his hands and everything around you turned into a blur when his mouth found yours.

Your heart pumped violently in your chest as you slid your hands up to the back of his head and you felt yourself being moved to his desk, your bottom hitting the wood as he leaned over you and moaned when he felt your tongue against his.

You felt a notebook slip off the desk and something metal tipped over, hitting the wood. Everything was happening so fast.

Harry placed one palm down on the desk as his other hand held the back of your head, his tongue and mouth were instantaneous, urgent. You felt like a wilted flower about to blossom.

And you felt his desperation because you were experiencing it just the same. You both breathed in through your noses for oxygen as your lips slid together wetly. He was overpowering your senses but it was welcome in that instant. His scent, his weight against you, the stubble on his face scraping your soft skin.

His nose turned into yours and pushed your head to the side as he lowered his mouth down to your jaw. Wet, hot presses of his lips and licks of his tongue had you letting out a shaky moan as you clung to him tightly.

When he grazed his lips over your neck and sucked gently on your skin before lapping over the tiny bruise you felt his mouth lower to your sweet spot. That one little sensitive area that had your entire body igniting with need, your figurative wilted petals being nourished and opening up, seeking the sun and water and breeze.

“Don’t leave me, please,” he whispered into your neck between kisses and you stuffed your fingers into his hair.

Everything was spinning and disintegrating around you as his lips were ravaging your neck and up to your jaw again.

“Tell me you're not gonna leave me,” he pressed his mouth against yours, “Please, Y/n.”

The kisses slowed down, your mouths moving gently together, tongues softly poking out and retreating until you parted from the kiss, pushing at his chest so you could sit up.

And when his lips weren’t urgent against yours you felt the heavy realization of what had just happened crumble around you. You didn’t understand why you didn’t stop it at once, why you let it happen in the first place. Your brain new better. Your heart could not be trusted.

Your chest heaved as you looked at Harry, your hands still on his chest, “We can’t do this…”

Harry put his hands over yours, unmoving from his spot so close to you, “We can. There’s no reason to pretend there isn’t something here, Y/n.”

You watched his chest rise and fall and his kiss-swollen lips mouth the word please. You couldn’t hear him say it but you knew he said it.

Shaking your head you pushed him away and stood up, dizzy and flustered as you ran to the door to leave. For breath. For distance.

“Y/n wait!” Harry ran after you. “Please!”

You went to your room and stuffed your bag with things you’d need (for what? You weren’t sure at that moment) as Harry watched you from your door, “Y/n. Where are you going?”

You cleared your throat and looked at him. Which you immediately regretted. He looked heartbroken, “I need some air. I have to get out of here. I’m sorry,” your words were rushed as your hands trembled with the items you collected to bring with you.

Harry watched in dismay as you picked up your keys and walked past him before he reached for your elbow to stop you, “That’s fine. If you need to think. Just… come back to me okay?”

You couldn’t look at him as he said it and you didn’t respond as you walked down the stairs and out the door.

It was all too much for you. Reconciling what you knew you should have done and what actually was happening didn’t synch up. It didn’t make sense. You couldn’t stay there with him any longer.

.           .           .

Harry thought you’d return that evening after cooling off. He had a whole speech prepared for you. An apology, a confession… The NDA was because he was worried you were going to quit and that you might wind up saying something about what you’d seen.

But that had been stupid of him to try and get you to sign it. And you were right. It was a power move in a way. He wanted you to know who was in charge and put you in your place because he was so frustrated at how you’d regretted something that he longed for. Something he wanted. He’d wanted it so badly and then he had it… until you took that away from him. So this was vindication on some level. Vindication for the blow to his ego. To his heart. But that wasn’t fair to you.

When you didn’t come home he decided to give you space. Surely you’d be at work in the morning at 8 am. You just needed time.

But at 8:15 the following morning when you still hadn’t even so much as called he realized you may have needed more than just air. And that was concerning.

He called you and left a voicemail. And waited. And waited. You didn’t call back.

So he texted you later in the day after working a little (but he could hardly think of anything but you) but the response was the same. Radio silence.

Now Harry didn’t like being in serious relationships and didn’t like people invading his space or having someone clinging to him or wanting his attention or relying on him to be their emotional support in any way but his heart squeezed painfully in his chest when he thought about you and how much he enjoyed your company. It hurt to know that you weren’t feeling the same kind of connection he was feeling. It stung that he’d given a little bit of himself to you, whether you knew it or not, but that you rejected it. You didn’t want it.

He'd give you another day before he came knocking on your door to find out what was going on. One more sleepless night to let you come to your senses.

.           .           .

“Look, I know you, Y/n. You do this. Anytime someone gets close to you, you brush it off like it didn’t exist. When your dad tried to come back into your life last year? How he wanted to see you and make up for all that lost time?”

You shook your head, “That’s different.”

“No, it’s not. You run away from your problems when you can’t contain things in one neat and tidy box. And your relationship with Harry was never neat and tidy. So you’re pretending he doesn’t exist.”

You bit your lip and looked away from Brandy. You knew she was right in some ways. You couldn’t handle messy. Anything to do with your emotions that you couldn’t settle up in your head seamlessly you wanted nothing to do with.

And you couldn’t settle your heart and your head when it came to Harry.

“At least call him and tell him you don’t want to work for him anymore. I mean look at these texts, Y/n…” She held your phone out to you but you turned away. You couldn’t look. She’d read them to you already. You knew what they said. “He’s worried about you. All he’s asking is for you two to talk.”

Shaking your head you stood up from her couch, “I’m not talking to him. I’ll let the agency do it. I’m emailing Monica to tell her I need to be matched for something else.”

Brandy watching you grab your laptop from your bag and shoot off the email.

“I think it’s a mistake to quit.”

“Why would this be a mistake? Even if he was the nicest guy on earth, we can’t work professionally together. He can’t be my boss when we’re unable to stop from kissing in the middle of a disagreement or having sex on a work trip.”

You were leaving out the fact that he’d been up to something shady. Illegal. You decided you’d wait to reveal that to Brandy once everything blew over. As much as you hated that Harry was conducting business the way he was, you didn’t want him to get into trouble. Not that you ever thought Brandy would go off to the police or anything. It just felt better to keep that knowledge to yourself for a while.

“Okay. Fair enough. But you two have something. Why would you throw that away?”

“Because we don’t actually have something, Brandy. His judgment is clouded because I work for him and he likes that power, and that’s what turns him on. I’m easy access and forbidden. He doesn’t actually like me like that. And I guarantee the moment he learns I’ve quit he’s going to forget all about me.”

Brandy laughed, “You have to stop thinking that men don’t like you. You have to stop feeling like no one would ever find you attractive or that when they’re flirting with you that they aren’t. You always push that notion away but it’s crazy! It’s okay to admit when a man likes you back, Y/n. It’s okay to let that happen.”

You weren’t buying it. Men, as a rule, didn’t find you pretty. Not really. Not pretty enough to fall for. You were the safe girl for men to be around when they liked someone else. There would never be any confusion about that kind of thing. Not from you, not from anyone looking in from the outside.

Except Brandy of course. Always the optimist. You wonder what she’d say if she knew the whole truth about him.

.           .           .

Harry had it all planned out. He was going to buy you flowers and bring those special decadent chocolates from the chocolatier he learned you loved and beg for you to forgive him, or whatever it was that needed to be done. He was going to tear up the NDA in front of you so you knew he trusted you without a doubt. Confess his feelings to you once and for all. No more playing coy with you. He was going to win you over. Whatever it took.

And it was crazy that he was suddenly feeling such despair at the thought of losing you. He knew he was developing feelings for you. It was easy to fall for you with your spunk and your take-no-shit attitude, your adorable smile, your sexy mouth… there were countless things about you that he couldn’t get enough of. Knowing you might not come back had him anxious and feeling sick over it.

But before he had even gotten through half his day at work an email popped up from Personal Premier Services with the subject line: Exit Survey – Y/n Y/l/n 2776

He blinked his eyes as his heart thudded when he opened the email.

Dear Mr. Styles,

We’re sorry the assistant we matched you with didn’t work out. We strive to make sure all of our clients are pleased with the performance of each of our employees and would appreciate your response in the link provided so we know how we can make better choices for you in the future.

We’d love to be able to continue working with you. Please let us know if we can be of further assistance in finding the right person to work with.

Harry couldn’t finish reading as his eyes burned and his mouth went dry.

You had quit. You’d walked out after he kissed you and you weren’t coming back. He hadn’t expected you to quit. He should have seen it coming based on your lack of response to him but he didn’t. He was blindsided. Somehow he’d clung to the tiny bit of hope that you felt the same for him too.

Even though he was in the middle of searching for a piece of art his client wanted he stood from his chair and picked up his car keys, hurrying out of his home to make his way to you. There was no time to stop to pick up flowers or chocolates. No time to wait until the end of the workday after he’d made arrangements with a client. No time to pretend things would be okay anymore.

It took him over an hour to get to your apartment, traffic was shit. No surprise. He pulled up his contacts to find your apartment number once he arrived, and got out of his car to find which door was yours.

When he did find it and knocked with no answer he tried peeking into the one window but he could barely make out anything. You had drapes hung over the window and it appeared all the lights were off.

So he waited. He sat by your door and waited for you until you came back. Nothing else was more important to him at that moment. Even if he waited all night. To Harry, this was code red. His last shot with you.

.           .           .

You were feeling clear-headed. It was the right choice. It had to be because you couldn’t work for a man like Harry. A man who did illegal things and wanted you to sign an NDA so you wouldn’t talk. A man who you were far too attracted to for it to make any sense. It would just be a series of fights and cold shoulders and sex and longing…

Definitely, it was the right choice to quit. It had to be.

Unfortunately for you, when you got to your door Harry was there, scrambling to push himself up from where he’d been sitting, “Y/n…”

“What are you doing here?”

“I want to talk. I want to make things right with you.”

You shook your head and gripped the shoulder strap of your bag, “There’s nothing to make right. We aren’t good working partners. I should have never agreed to work with you.”

Harry stepped forward and took your hand, “Y/n. We… this isn’t even about work anymore okay? I don’t care about that. Quit if you want. If that’s what you need.”

You pulled your hand away from him, “What do you mean this isn’t about work?”

He sighed and kept his eyes on you, “Because… I like you. I feel like we’re–“

“No. Stop. Don’t do that. You’re confused because when I worked for you that was fun and risky for us to do. But I’ll bet that when the disappointment of me quitting wears off you’ll realize you don’t actually like me like you think you do.”

Harry furrowed his brow as you stepped past him to unlock her door, “What? What are you talking about? I’m serious, Y/n.”

You rolled your eyes, “I don’t think you actually are, Harry,” you pushed your door open.

He was beginning to panic. He hadn’t expected you to reject him telling you that he liked you.

“Wait. Please. Look, okay,” he put his hands up in surrender. “Can I come in? We can just calmly discuss this. Person to person. Also, I really have to take a piss. I’ve been out here for almost four hours waiting for you and I should have thought about that before I left my house but I was in such a rush to get here–“

“Fine. Come in.” You let him through your door and closed it. “Bathroom’s just there in that hall. Do want something to drink?”

Harry looked at you with those soft eyes that made you falter for a second, “Some water would be great. Thank you, Y/n.”

You couldn’t believe that you’d let him in. That you were pouring water for him while he used your toilet. In your apartment. You shook your head thinking about how ridiculous it was that he was sitting outside of your door waiting for you.

When he came out you had his glass of water on a coaster on your coffee table in front of the couch. You took the chair at the side. There was no way you were going to sit next to him. Things didn’t seem to always go as planned when he got too close and you couldn’t have that happen.

“Sit,” you gestured at the couch.

Harry sat down and picked up the glass of water, taking a few big gulps, nearly finishing the entire thing.

You crossed your arms over your chest and waited for him to talk. You had nothing to say in that moment. You hoped it would be quick and he’d be out soon. You didn’t want to look at his handsome sad face for too long or you were worried you’d fold once again. Seemed it didn’t matter if alcohol was involved or not after all.

“Y/n you don’t have to work for me. I know maybe it’s not the best environment when we’re both attracted to one another the way we are. That’s okay. But… I don’t want to stop seeing you.”

“You’re not attracted to me in the way you think you are.”

Harry let out a laugh of confusion, “I can tell you with 100% certainty that I am extremely attracted to you. And it’s not just because you’re sexy. You’re intelligent and funny. I like you, Y/n.”

You shook your head, “Like I said. Wait until the disappointment of me quitting clears. You’re just not getting your way right now and that’s a challenge for you and you’re mistaking those feelings for excitement or attraction.”

The look on Harry’s face was sheer confusion, “What you’re saying is absurd. I came here to confess my feelings for you, Y/n. I… I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone. This is not some strange psychological thing where I’m confusing a challenge for attraction.”

“And you’re into illegal things so I just… I can’t be around that. It’s not worth it to me. You wanted me to sign an NDA. Put my name on a document that proves guilt and sign off on it? And now you’re telling me this? I call bullshit.”

“I don’t want you to sign the fucking NDA. That was stupid. It was in bad taste. It was a way for me to make sure you didn’t quit. I was desperate for keeping hold of something I felt slipping away.”

You laughed loudly, “A lot of good that did.

“I know. I’m so sorry. Y/n please… I’m dead serious here. Do you not like me? Are you not feeling this?” He gestured between himself and you.

You forced yourself to make eye contact with him and it nearly had your heart torn in shreds. You didn’t like the way your mind said one thing and your heart screamed at you for another. But even if you did like him and he liked you, then what? He was doing things that were disreputable. Illegal. That made him a person you didn’t want to be around. You had morals and you had your dignity to look out for.

“Harry it doesn’t matter what I feel or what you feel. I can’t be with you as an employee or a lover, or whatever it is you think you’re looking for. You’re involved in illicit sales of stolen artifacts and artwork. It’s illegal and I know that most of the money you’ve made has been doing dirty deals. How can I ever get over that?”

He looked down at the floor in thought. You were right. He understood your position but he couldn’t accept it. It was too much for him to wrap his head around that you would deny your feelings for him just for something that he thought wasn’t all that bad in the grand scheme of things.

“Y/n, I think it does matter what you feel and what I feel. I think that matters more than anything else actually,” he got up from his spot and you watched him with caution as he stood in front of you and got onto his knees, taking your hands in his, “Y/n, I can’t just walk out of here like this. I see it in your eyes when you look at me. You feel this too, don’t you? Tell me the truth.”

The fucked up part about looking into his eyes was that you softened for him every single time you did it. You tried to be strong and fierce. To be a woman with unshakable values and a strong sense of self but Harry had you feeling wobbly and unsure, “I do, but… it’s not fair.” You willed the tears to stop from filling your eyes.

“It’s not fair to us to ignore this. This feeling. This connection, Y/n.”

“Harry, what’s not fair to me is the way you treated me that first night. What’s not fair is that you hired me and didn’t disclose to me what you really do to make your money. It’s not fair to me that you’re here right now saying all this to me when it’s impossible! How can I say that I respect myself if I allow this to go any further with you?”

Your tears had a mind of their own as they pushed their way out of your sockets and poured down your face. You closed your eyes and then felt Harry’s thumb at your cheek, wiping your tears.

“Y/n, what do you want? What do you want me to do? Hm? How can I make you forgive me for that night? That was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made. And everything else? What can I do?”

You shook your head but you didn’t dare open your eyes to look at him, “Harry you can’t do anything. The damage is done.”

“Y/n I can make it right. Please tell me what to do.”

“You can leave. That’s what you should do.” Finally, you peeled your eyes open and looked at him directly. You wanted him to know you meant business.

“Can’t we just–“

You pointed at the door, “Leave. Now. Leave my apartment, Harry. Go.”

Harry stood up slowly and swallowed thickly as he scratched the back of his neck and turned toward your door.

You pushed yourself from the seat ready to lock the door behind him but he turned back to look at you, “Please don’t do this, Y/n.”

You felt a pit in your stomach and a lump in your throat as you pointed at the door, “Go. Please, Harry. Just go.”

When your door was closed and your deadbolt latched you broke down into a sobbing mess on your couch where he’d sat. Only in private would you let yourself feel all those things your heart had pleaded for you to feel. You didn’t want anyone to see this. To know how devastated you were. It was the right choice but the ache in your chest felt like hopelessness.

To have found someone like Harry, the glimpses of his soul and his kindness and his cheekiness, the way he treated you when things were good…

But you had to collect yourself and wipe your tears and move on.

It was time to figure out your next move. Your lease was coming up and you had enough money to find somewhere else to go now. You felt like a new start in a new apartment, maybe in a different city would be good for you. It would make it harder for Harry to ever just traipse up to your apartment again and try to sweep you off your feet.

The first thing you did was block his number and his email and then you opened your laptop to begin the search for a new place to live. A new beginning.

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[theres-a-body-here]

Scumtober - Day 6 (Intertwined)

James Sunderland x Male!reader

TW: Panic attack

Fog.

You've always liked the fog.

It's veiling, comforting, and soft, reminding you of your small mountain town. The cold days and the colder nights seemingly melt together in your memories.

But the fog here felt draining and...lifeless.

You let out a sigh, your legs softly kicking out as you sit on the pier. Silent Hill seems so fuzzy from here, like it's fading into nothing.

Maybe if you squint and believe real hard, you'll be back home.

...

What home?

"(Y/N)?"

Turning your head to look over your shoulder, you see a familiar face walking over. As you make eye contact with James, you can't help but feel that he looked even more miserable than when you last saw him.

"Sorry if I spooked you," he says, approaching you cautiously before stopping to stand behind you.

You notice how uneasy he looks, shoulders hunched forward as his arms hand awkwardly at his sides.

"It's fine," you wave off, turning back to look at lake Toluca. "I'm glad you're okay."

There's no point in asking him to take a seat. Him or anyone you've met in this hellhole. They all seem to be needed anywhere else at random moments.

Yet you've always been stationary....stagnant.

"Did you find your wife?" you ask, breaking the silence. Your words seem to have caught him off guard, lips twitching before answering hesitantly.

"No… Not yet…"

You hum, looking down to stare at your own reflection in the water below, watching ripples distort your features until they disappeared completely.

There's a long pause before he speaks again, slowly as if talking to a skittish animal. "I found something…"

You shift yourself to look at him directly now, catching sight of the flip phone in his hand.

Your blood instantly runs cold, and your stomach drops. It feels like you're suddenly drawing air from a straw as your vision begins to blur with tears.

"Aw come on, show me"

"Get off of me"

"My boys wanna see too. Say hi to them"

"Get that out of my face"

"Stop fucking moving"

You close your eyes tightly, trying to shake off the surge of emotions.

Just breathe.

Breathe, damn it!

"(Y/N)?"

He sounds genuinely worried now, his hand reaching out towards your shoulder.

You pull away, your skin crawling just from the thought of human contact right now. Nausea rolls through your gut, threatening to bring up bile.

"Don't…" you barely manage to say, lifting a shaky hand to hold him off. "Just...give me a second."

James looks uneasy as he takes a step back to give you space, clearly not used to situations like these.

But you were.

You extend your hand towards him, looking at the rotted wood of the pier instead of making eye contact.

"Give it to me…" you demand, trying to force the waver out of your voice. You sound angrier than you meant to, but you just wanted everything to stop.

James hesitates for a moment, unsure whether giving you what you want is what's best right now. But eventually, he hands it over to you.

A sob escapes your throat, raw and ragged as you grip the phone tightly between both hands before snapping it in half with a satisfying crackle. You toss it aside without ceremony, letting it fall into the water below.

Suddenly aware of how loud your breathing is, you clutch at your chest as you gasp for breaths of chilly air, letting them fill your lungs before releasing them slowly. The sound of water calms your nerves a bit.

You vaguely register movement beside you, but refuse to look over.

James sits next to you, giving you space without forcing anything upon you.

After a few minutes, you start to calm down, although you feel exhausted from the whole thing. Silence settles around you again for another minute or two before you finally speak up again.

"I think this is hell"

There's no response from James, only the soft splashing of the waves below. When you finally glance over, you catch him staring at the vague silhouette of Silent Hill.

Scumtober 2024 Masterlist

[krirebr]

What You Can Do for Your Country

Pairing: dark!Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 1916

Summary: Being Captain America is a lot harder than anyone realizes. Steve thinks you might be able to help.

Warnings: Dark elements, kidnapping, face slapping, no smut but heavily implied future noncon, general meaness, explicit language, governmental malfeasance. It's dark, you've been warned. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Divider by @cafekitsune

Masterlist

A/N: I'm not fully sure what happened here. I've been wanting to test out the waters of posting writing here for awhile, but I'd sort of had it in my head that I'd wait for a challenge that spoke to me. This is an idea I've had floating around for awhile and when it finally coalesced into something writable, I thought 'fuck it, why not?' So here we are. I'm kind of terrified that I'm just tossing this into the void, so if you read it and have a sec, please let me know what you think!

You wake up slowly. There's no sound or light, so it takes you a moment to fully realize that you’re even awake. You can't see anything, but you can feel that you're slumped in a corner and that the surface beneath you is hard. You’re definitely not in your room. Where the fuck are you? You try to move into a more comfortable position, and that's when you hear the soft jingle of metal clinking against itself and feel a slight tug on your leg. Your hands immediately go to your ankle, and you find a leather cuff around it, with a chain connected to the wall. You're fully awake now, breaths coming out in short, uneven bursts. Don't panic don’t panic, you try to tell yourself, but that mantra seems to only be making things worse. There's so much to panic about. You reassure yourself that you're still dressed. Things could be worse. The thought strikes you as unbelievably bleak.

You take a deep breath and try to focus. What's the last thing you remember? You were leaving work. The sun was setting, but it wasn’t completely dark yet. A car came up behind you? Or maybe a van? Everything's fuzzy and disjointed when you try to remember anything beyond walking out the door of the coffee shop.

A door suddenly opens into the room, closer than you expected. The space is smaller than you thought. Light floods in from the hallway, blinding you painfully and obscuring the figure stood in the doorway. They flick on a light in the room and the pain in your eyes becomes worse. You cover your face with your hands, trying to lessen the glare and help your eyes adjust. You hear a chuckle from the doorway and slowly look up at the man you can now clearly see. 

It takes a moment to recognize him out of context. But only a moment. It's Captain America. Steve Rogers. You know him. Sort of. He comes into the coffee shop sometimes, since it's right by Avengers Tower. Tall whole milk latte with a sprinkle of nutmeg. He's usually with one of the others. He's nice, tips well, friendly. As friendly as he is with anyone he comes across. It's kind of his whole thing. Of course he's nice to everyone, he's Captain America. Big smile, patriotism, and apple pie. All that jazz. What is going on?

At first, your desperate heart thinks that he must be there to rescue you. But then you actually take him in. He's not in his uniform, but dressed casually, in a white t-shirt and jeans, barefoot, his arms crossed over his massive chest, leaning on the door frame. 

And he's smirking at you. 

"Good, you're awake," Steve says, voice calm and even, but there's a hardness in the way he looks at you that has you trying to cower further into the corner as he approaches. There's nowhere to go and it only takes a few strides for him to get to you. Now that you can see your surroundings, you seem to be in some sort of cleared out walk-in closet. There are bare shelves on the walls and two empty hanging rods line the longer sides of the room. He crouches down in front of you. "I wasn't sure how long you'd be out."

You want to scream at him to let you go, ask what the fuck is going on, something but instead what comes out is a pathetic "Please don’t hurt me!" 

His face completely softens and he coos "Oh sweetheart," as he brushes away a tear you hadn’t realized you'd shed. Maybe you got this wrong. Maybe he is here to help you. Maybe it's going to be al– "What else do you think you're for?"

And then, before you've even had time to process what he's said, he slaps you across the face. Hard enough to make you slump back into the wall, uselessly cradling your cheek, tears streaming down your face freely now. You've seen enough clips on TV to know he didn't put his full strength into it and that, more than anything else that's happened so far, has you so terrified you can barely breathe. 

Steve tips his head back and briefly closes his eyes, growling out an elongated "Fuuck." He touches the hot spot where he hit you and gives a satisfied smile when you flinch and whimper. "I was right," he mutters to himself. "This is exactly what I needed." 

You’ve never really felt like an especially small person, but even crouched like this, he dwarfs you. Up close you’re able to really appreciate how gigantic he is and it makes any fight left in you completely disappear. What are you supposed to do, up against a super soldier?

But you also can’t just completely give in yet, so when his hand starts to wander from your cheek down your neck and to your chest, you do your best to bat it away and put as much strength as you can into your “Don’t touch me!” 

When that same hand comes up to roughly grab your chin, you try to avoid him, but you’re shown once more that there’s really nothing you can do. Steve squeezes cruelly as he says “You are going to figure out very quickly that ‘don’t’ is a word you're not allowed to use with me. Along with no, stop, and wait. You’re mine now and I can do whatever I want with you.” 

He lets go of you with a slight push and the back of your head hits the wall. You let out a whimper and he chuckles again. You finally give into your confusion and let out a quiet “I don’t understand.”

“Oh, I know, sweetheart,” he says, and this time you recognize how that word drips with condescension. “This must be so hard for a stupid little thing like you.” He brushes your hair off your forehead with an exaggerated pout, and you don’t get how this could be the same man that always made a point to ask how your day was going whenever he ordered from you.

He stands up so that he’s truly towering over you now. “You have no idea how hard it is to be Captain America,” he says, “to always be expected to do the right thing, to be good and kind and wholesome,” he snarls the last word. “It’s impossible to keep up without losing your goddamn mind. I can’t just be a symbol of all things patriotic  and virtuous all the time. I’m a real person, not a fucking bald eagle. It's becoming a problem.” He looks down at you and smiles the most terrifying smile you’ve ever seen. “That’s where you come in. There are some days when I just need to hurt something. So now, every bad mood, impure thought or filthy desire I have, I’ll just take it out on you. And then I’ll be able to go back into the world and be the Captain America they need me to be.”

You just stare at him, wondering how you’ve never noticed it before. This man is insane. An actual sociopath. What kind of plan is this? This isn’t– no! “You can’t just do that!” You argue. “I’m a person, too! I have a family, a job, a life! People will notice I’m gone. They’ll come looking for me.” 

Steve laughs outright this time, and it’s startling in how cruel it is. There’s really nothing of the man you thought you knew in the one standing in front of you. He crouches down again and gets so close to you that you can feel his breath. “Oh baby, you really are a dumb bitch, aren’t you?” He turns his head slightly to whisper right in your ear, “Everyone already knows what’s happened to you.” He leans back so that he can see the horror on your face. How is that possible? It can’t be.

“You really think I just grabbed you off the street, all by myself? Oh no honey. I went through official channels for this. I requisitioned you. I meant it when I said it was becoming a problem. I’ve been… slipping, lately. And when I slip, it doesn’t just affect me or my team, but the entire country. It affects the fate of the entire free world. So when the president himself came to me and asked what I needed to get my head on straight, I told him what I’ve told you. A pretty little thing to hurt and I gave him your name. And so you were delivered to me today by a fleet of government vehicles. Your family’s been well compensated. They’ll never have to pay taxes again, for a start. And you, I’ve given you an incredible purpose. A chance to serve your country, a chance to help all of humanity. Everytime I’m able to go out and save the world, it’ll be because you’re here, serving me. You should take pride in that.”

You can’t help starting to cry again. This can’t be true. It just can’t be. Your family can’t have– No. Steve’s lying or they didn’t have a choice or– “Why me?” is all you’re able to eke out from the jumble in your head. 

“Because every time I went into that coffee shop and you looked up at me with those big eyes and that sweet smile, all I could think about was how badly you needed to be ruined. Broken. And how I wanted to be the one to do it.” 

You let out a sob at that. You always thought that when it came down to it, fight was your fear response. But now you understand, you’d never been truly afraid before. In the face of real, hopeless terror, all you can do is freeze. There’s nothing else to do. You can’t fight him. You can’t run. No one is looking for you. You’ve never felt so powerless in your life. You’re pathetic and weak. That’s what Steve saw in you, isn’t it? That’s why you’re here.

“Those tears are so pretty, baby. Got me so fucking hard.” He stands up with a slap to his thighs. “Alright, enough talk. I’ve waited too fucking long for this.” He walks to the opposite wall and gestures to you. “Get up, take off your clothes. I’ve been dreaming about what’s under that uniform.” You cry out and huddle further into the wall, but he clucks his tongue at you. “Trust me when I say that you don’t want me to have to tell you twice.”

You nod needlessly and get up, your legs shaking underneath you. You throw off your shirt just to get it over with and push down your pants until they get stuck on the chain. You pause at your underwear, but a growled out, “Keep going,” has you robotically removing them as well. 

You try to cover yourself, but know that it’s useless. He paces in front of you and groans. “Fuck, you’re so soft. You’re gonna break so good, baby.” He takes off his shirt and throws it on top of your own, his muscles rippling with the movement. You can’t help the whimper that comes out and Steve grins at you as he approaches, hands beginning to unbuckle his belt. “Don’t worry, honey, I’ll teach you exactly how to be the perfect little toy for me.”

[anonymityisfunwriter]

bad idea right?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Summary: It's a bad idea. He's a bad idea. A walking red flag - if your friends are right about him. It's really too bad red was always your favorite color.

bad idea right? | get him back! | love is embarrassing

"This is an intervention."

You sputter, almost choking on your wine, "What?"

Nat crosses her arms, her eyes boring into you as she speaks, "A Bucky Barnes intervention."

"What are you talking about?" you hedge.

"You've been seeing him again." It's not a question, but a statement of fact. You don't know how exactly she found out, but you don't doubt that somehow she knows everything. You've been caught red handed. 

You had two choices here. Come clean to your two best friends. Or lie through your teeth. You choose the second. "No, I-"

"You left your location on," Wanda explains, stopping you before you try to lie your way out of this conversation. "You were at his apartment two nights ago. You didn't leave until the next morning."

You hold your head in your hand, still curled up on the couch, "Can't two people reconnect?"

"He's your ex for a reason."

You knew that. You knew that there was a reason you and Bucky broke up all those months ago.

And you certainly didn't plan on getting involved with him again. It just sort of happened.

If you thought about it, really, you were blameless.

You hadn't heard from him since you broke up three months ago.

Three weeks ago, you found yourself out and drunk.

Calling him was just a drunken accident.

Bucky coming to pick you up and take you back home was not at all your plan.

Leaving your bag in his car was just a funny coincidence.

How else were you supposed to get your things unless you saw him the very next day?

And was it your fault that he invited you inside to catch up? No, of course not, you were just being polite! 

Really, who could blame you? It just happened.

"I only see him as a friend." It's definitely the biggest lie you've ever told your friends.

"So you just tripped and fell into his bed?"

Your jaw drops as your cheeks flame, "It's not like that!"

"Well, clearly you think you're doing something wrong when you're lying to us about seeing him," Nat accuses.

"I haven't lied to you guys about anything!"

"So two weeks ago you didn't lie to us when you were actually with him?"

"I never lied. I told you I was asleep." You just never said where. Or in whose sheets. "Alright, fine, I might have omitted, but that's just because I know how you guys feel about him."

"Because you could do so much better!"

You shrug, knowing Wanda is probably right. You could find someone so much better for you. Someone who you probably wouldn't have to sneak around with. Someone you hadn't already broken up with, but something about Bucky Barnes makes your brain a little fuzzy. You can't think straight when you think about him. And you most certainly can't be trusted around him. 

Even now, just thinking about him, you're spiraling back to a place where a bad idea turns into the best one you've ever had. 

You know've probably seen much hotter men, but then you think back to two nights ago, and you suddenly can't remember when.

Not when Bucky stood at his door with his sweatpants slung so sinfully low on his waist. Not when he wore that henley that left so little to the imagination - and he wore it so well. His arms crossed over his chest. Leaning against the doorway, one hand clutching the top of the door frame, as he waited for you. That teasing, challenging smirk. Those mischievous blue eyes. That vibranium arm glinting in the moonlight. 

Could you really be blamed for appreciating what was right there? Of course not. Or at least, that's what you told yourself. 

Natasha waves her hand in front of your face, "Are you even listening?"

Your eyes shift back to her, your mouth inexplicably dry, "Huh?"

"I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but it's a bad idea," Nat emphasizes. "A terrible, stupid idea."

"What I think Natasha is trying to say," Wanda gently interjects, "Is that we love and respect you too much to watch you get hurt all over again."

Natasha was right. You knew that.

Your impromptu girl's night came to a close with her reminding you one last time. It was a bad idea.

Seeing him tonight is a bad idea. It's most definitely a bad idea. You knew it the moment your phone lit up with a text from Bucky.

"I want to see you."

You could almost picture the disappointment in their faces. You should turn around and go back to your room and forget about Bucky Barnes. Never speak to him again. Block his number. Forget he exists. 

It's a bad idea to grab your keys and hop in your car to go see him.

It's a bad idea to drive to his apartment right now in the dead of the night.

And it was definitely a bad idea to wake up twisted in his sheets again.

It's a bad idea, right?

But you're standing in your room all alone - with no one telling you that it was indeed a bad idea. And it sounds like a fantastic idea to you. Yes, he's your ex, but can't two people reconnect? And if you trip and fall into his bed, really, what's the harm?

You shrug your shoulders, snatching up your car keys.

Fuck it, it's fine.

Part 2 - get him back!

Bucky Barnes Masterlist AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

As always, let me know what you think! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛

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[denwritesandcries]

Sweet Doe Eyes – L.M

Pairing: lottie matthews x fem!reader

Summary: Lottie knows very well what she's doing now, this girl, with that sad little face and doe eyes, with freckles highlighted by the cold and cheeks reddened burned through freezing. She knows you will give in every single time.

Word count: 1,1k.

Content: '96/wilderness timeline, eepy!lottie, cursing, pet names, cuddling & snuggling, kisses, van being a little shit in the background.

Note: FINALLY got to write for the biggest loser of the yjs. i love her so much.

English is not my first language.

You are supposed to be chopping wood.

Supposed is the key word here.

Normally this task didn't take up so much of your time, you ended up getting used to it, living in the wilderness for so long now. You could perform the same exhausting, repetitive movements with your eyes closed right now if you wanted.

“Baby, when're you gonna come inside?”

It turns out that the damn hatchet was blunt and everything in this place seemed to be a thousand times more difficult when done in winter, your warm body was now beginning to tremble in contact with the blizzard that was beginning to fall and your girlfriend was impatient.

“In a second, Lot.” You lift your head to look at her, adjusting the makeshift scarf to cover your face again, “I just need to finish this first. You can go back in.”

But Lottie doesn't move. She remains standing next to the porch, with her arms crossed over her chest and her shoulders hunched, as if every second she spent out there was torture and brought her a little closer to freezing, even dressed in so many layers of clothes and with that stupid fuzzy coat she wore over it. The sight is so ridiculous that it warms your heart.

“You know I can't sleep without you.” She muffles a yawn with her hand, blinking slowly to look at you with bright eyes and a sleepy look. You sigh, already feeling your resolve weaken.

Lottie sits on the steps of the cabin and wraps her arms around her knees, letting her cheek fall to rest on top of them, clearly indicating that she intends to wait for you when she sees you return to position yourself by the logs.

“Sweetie—" you stutter, “you don’t need to wait for me.”

You try to argue, feeling guilty when you see your girlfriend curled up like a kicked puppy and even more so when she lifts her head to look at you for a moment, deep dark eyes looking too innocent for their knowing depths.

“I wouldn't need to if you'd just come in.”

Lottie knows very well what she's doing now, this girl, with that sad little face and doe eyes, with freckles highlighted by the cold and cheeks reddened burned through freezing. She knows you will give in.

You think about shrugging your shoulders and actually finishing the task with her there out of pure spite, just because she can't go around winking and expecting you to do whatever she wants whenever she wants like that.

But… it's really cold and it's been dark for a while now and Lottie looks so sad and lonely by the door, waiting for you.

“...Fine.” You sigh, giving up.

Your teammates are definitely going to complain about you not finishing this and you're definitely going to take on the worst assignments along with Misty over the next few days, but it's hard to focus on that when Lottie's pout melts away.

“Finally!” You choose to ignore the way she instantly brightens and that sad puppy look is cast aside in an instant.

Ugh, you think, carrying the pile of firewood you've accumulated with you, Mari will definitely be a pain in the ass because of this.

Lottie is shifting her weight from one leg to the other anxiously when you turn to her again, grabbing your now empty hands and practically dragging you into the cabin.

You are hit by the heat the moment you enter and scattered across the floor are several bodies piled up near the fireplace so you have to let go of your hands to dodge them without kicking or tripping anyone. And Lottie looks upset again when you stop near the fire so you can warm your hands and pour yourself some tea – it's mostly just hot water now, but it's still better than nothing.

“Baby,” she whines, wrapping her arms around your body and pulling you against her, “I’m tired.”

“I know, Lot.” You rest your hand on top of hers gently. “Just let me warm up a little.”

Lottie squeezes her waist: “But I can warm you up—”

A hand abruptly grabbing your ankle scares the hell out of you and Van is on the floor looking annoyed.

“Baby,” she mocks, “Just go to sleep with her already so we can finally sleep too, Jesus.”

“Oh, fuck you—”

“She's right.” Lottie whines again, grabbing your chin and turning your face to hers, blinking her eyes at you sadly. “Let’s go, please?”

You immediately soften, “Of course, hun.”

You two end up somewhat separated from the others, wrapping yourself in the remaining blankets and Lottie immediately falls on top of you, burying her face in your neck.

“You’re so needy,” you tease.

Lottie lets out a hum, resting her chin on your chest contentedly to look up at you, her eyes shining with satisfaction, “I’m just really persuasive.”

You shake your head in amusement at her, enjoying the way she looks at you tenderly, her body pressing completely against yours now. You kiss her cheek gently.

“Whatever you say, baby.”

Lottie giggles, moving impossibly closer to capture your lips with hers and you sigh in contentment against her chapped lips until you feel a pair of incredibly cold hands sneak beneath all of your clothing and absorb all of your heat.

“Shit— Lottie!” You squirm, but it's useless trying to escape with the weight of a body on top of yours.

“Don’t go,” she says softly, rubbing circles into your skin until you stop moving, “I’m just warming up.”

“Aren’t you supposed to warm me up?” You ask completely indignantly as she hovers over you.

She shrugs, “I'm doing that too.”

“You are such a charm, aren't you?” And then you flick the faded spot on her forehead, just because you can't help but totally react to her little revenge for making her go outside to get you.

“Ouch,” she rubs the scar, trying to sound annoyed, but you know there's no real bite behind it.

You smile at Lottie and she smiles back, finally giving in when you pull her up and kiss her forehead in apology and she settles back on top of you. This time, you both feel warm inside.

“I love you, Lot.” You say.

Her eyes light up again, “I—”

You hear a dry cough that sounds too fake and you're completely sure that it's Van's way of telling you two to shut up again, you hold back the urge to laugh.

Lottie mumbles the rest of the sentence muffled against your neck, you don't hear it properly, but you feel it on your skin.

[peachesofteal]

No cause now I’m imagining the moment Ghost and Soap show up at Darling’s apartment and her mind is hazy from the fever and she still doesn’t really trust them so she will not let them take her baby and they have to convince her so that they can take care of both Darling and the baby. And she finally does and then Soap and Ghost are surprisingly good at it and it’s adorable to see two ginormous men cooing over a tiny tiny human. Darling is so torn because they love and want to take care of the both of them but they betrayed her and she doesn’t trust them. Does she let them stay or make them go?????? 😭😭😭

-🥔

Love this. 🥔

18+ Mature themes / baby trap au / takes place after this

Simon's fist is heavy against the door. He knocks so loudly, Johnny swears it rattles his teeth. He knocks again, and again, until they're both exchanging worried looks as they listen to the sound of a baby crying just beyond the door.

The lock clicks, and then the door opens to reveal you on the other side, crying baby in your arms. Your entire body is trembling, and Bee wails against you, little face scrunched up in misery. You both look poorly, and fear eats away at Johnny little by little. What would have happened if you hadn't called? How sick are you? How sick is Bee? What's going on?

They both try not to stare at the baby in your arms. Your baby. Their baby.

Their sick baby, in the arms of her sick mother. Living in this shit flat too far away, alone. With no one to care for them.

"Darling?" Simon whispers softly, and you blink at him. Like you’re confused. Like you’re surprised.

“Hey.” Johnny says, forcing himself to stand and speak casually. “You called us?” Your face shifts a little, nearly scrunching up like Bee’s, and then you shake your head.

“No I… didn’t think, I didn’t t-think��� I did?” The words are slow, thick and sticky, and they can practically hear the rattle in your chest from here. You’re really sick. How long have you been sick like this?

Johnny’s about to protest when Simon holds his hands up, open palm and easy. 

“Well, we’re here now. Will you let us help?” You shake your head, the refusal adamant, and Johnny swallows his discontent. You need their help. You need them. You called them. Why won’t you let them in?

“You’re sick. You called, said you both ‘ave fevers.” He gestures to the baby against your chest and you cradle her head protectively.

“No.” You croak.

“Look at me,” he pleads. “Look. Look, everything’s okay. We’re here to help you. Please, let us help you.” He holds his phone out, turning the screen towards you, your eyes squinting at the brightness of the screen before focusing on his call log, the incoming call from a blocked number clearly displayed at the top. Something fractures across you, some weight that’s been weighing on you, and you shuffle to the side, opening the view for the of the hallway, and a little kitchen.

Simon leads him across the threshold without a second to lose, and you cough as they slide by you. You stand away from them, warily, still aware but focus slipping as you shudder. He wants to reach out and feel your skin, press the back of his hand to your forehead to feel just how warm you are, the sweat soaked hair at your nape obviously displaying your ill state.

“Alright.” Johnny runs a hand through his hair, and tries not to tug at the roots. “Let’s get you together so we can get you two to a doctor.”

"She ne-needs to go to hospital." you explain, pointing to the half packed backpack with a shaking hand. "But I don't..." Bee cries against you, and you pat her back helplessly, eyes lost as they swim with tears. "I don't feel good, I feel fuzzy, and I c-can't navigate the trains like this."

"Alright. We can-"

"I didn't know what to do." You cry, and Johnny's heart twists in his chest, the sight of you so distraught, eyes glassy with fever, lips dry and cracked. He thinks you probably need to go to hospital too, with the way you're swaying slightly, how your cough sounds, your head drooping forward like it's too heavy for your neck.

“We can help. We can get you both to hospital-“ you cough again, taking care to point your face away from Bee, cutting him off before swiftly shaking your head.

“I don’t need it.”

“Don’t need what?” Simon cuts sharply.

“The hospital. Just-“ your lungs wheeze. “jus’ Bee.” Not bloody likely. You bounce her gently, but your eyes clench shut and you blow out a breath before sticking a hand out to still yourself against the counter.

“Darling, you need a doctor.” Simon counters firmly, and you cover your mouth again, to cough.

You wobble on your feet, swaying slightly before lurching just a little to the left, practically into Johnny who swears in alarm, arm coming around your shoulders to steady you.

“Johnny.” Simon directs, motioning to Bee before coming around to your other side, shifting your weight into him as if you were a rag doll. “Take the baby.” There’s no time for hesitation, for him to be nervous or unsure. There’s only a moment before Bee is nestled in his arms, unhappy face gazing up at him, like she knows.

She’s beautiful, even though she’s upset, and sickly. Still beautiful, like her mum. Perfect, angelic.

Their daughter. He’s holding their daughter, in his arms. Their precious, adorable, sweet child that is every bit of you that he had imagined. Such an incredible thing, born from such an awful decision.

And she’s running a temperature.

High temperatures are bad for babies. Fevers are worse for babies than they are for adults or even older children. The warning from a baby book he read a while ago, what feels like forever ago, blares in his mind.

Your head hangs limply against Simon, and Johnny reaches out to finally try to get a gauge of your temperature. When he makes contact, he grimaces.

“She’s burning up.” You grunt something in reply, but it’s nonsense. “So is the wee one.”

“Okay. We’re going.” He nods to the backpack, and Johnny manages to loop an arm through it while keeping a crying Bee tucked against his chest.

“Shhh, shhh.” He tries in vain to hush her. “‘s alright, little love. We’ve got ya. Mum’s right there, she’s right here.”

There’s a throbbing ache inside Simon’s head. He thinks it’s probably from the way his jaw is clenched so tight, or how his muscles are so tense they feel like they’re going to shred apart while he helps you walk through the front doors of the hospital.

They put you in a wheelchair, a small comfort Simon is grateful for, and wheel you into a room while they follow step by step behind. Bee cries in Johnny’s arm, and he tries to soothe her the best he can, but it’s fruitless.

She wants you. She wants her mum.

A nurse gets you into a gown in the bathroom, and then somewhat settled into a bed with a monitor on your finger before asking Johnny for Bee.

"Where are you taking her?" You protest, distressed when he hands her over, and Simon tenses while the nurse gives you a sympathetic look.

"She needs to go down to peds, just to see the doctor." You shake your head, and cough, the force of it shaking your body. Johnny winces.

"No, she… she needs to stay with me."

"She'll come right back up, when she's done. We'll have a bassinet for her, so she can sleep in here with you."

"N-no she can't. She can't... she has to stay with me." The monitor that seems to be measuring your heart rate picks up, the beeping steadily increasing while your eyes dart around the door wildly, panicked. The nurse opens her mouth to probably explain, again, but Simon sits down by your leg, careful not to touch you, but holding your gaze with a firm look.

"One of us can go with her, darling. Right?" He raises an eyebrow at the nurse, who nods. "See? And we'll stay with her, we'll make sure she's back up here in no time." You look from him to Johnny, who nods seriously, and he watches you loosen a breath from your chest. In the awful yellow light of the hospital, you appear more tired, more sickly than before. It unsettles him, and seeing you distressed physically hurts, because he can’t comfort you, can’t hold you, can’t tell you that you’re alright, that they’re here.

“Alright.” You sniffle weakly, eyes sad and heavy with exhaustion. He exchanges a glance with Johnny, one that says ‘you choose’, and then he’s following Bee and the nurse out the door, while Simon watches you fight sleep.

“You can rest, darling.” He encourages, and you gnaw on your lip while you watch the disappear down the hallway. “I’ll wake you, when she’s back.” It’s an assurance, one he knows you need while your eyelids droop, your sleep imminent.

“Okay.” You whisper, leaning your head back on the pillow, and shifting a bit so you’re tucked just slightly onto your side.

We’ll watch over you, he thinks. We’ll watch over you both.

Bonus: after you and Bee get discharged, the guys take you home and you actually let them help you with Bee and eventually, take care of you too. A little bit.

[cowboylor]

hotline

you call matty when you're bored.

warnings: (18+) smut, mutual masturbation, phone sex (kind of?), degradation, oral (f. receiving)

wc: 1k

note: i completely blame this on me seeing the 1975 last week and being consumed in a brainrot over [REDACTED]. anywho this wasn’t the larger work i’m working on just a a sweet, totally chaste blurb of our good ole pal matty.

"Hello?"

His voice is worried. You've never called this late before. Even in the past when you were out with friends and just couldn't wait to tell him just how jaw-droppingly fit you found him. Or when you've missed your routine phone call while he's on tour and call him back hours later with a rushed apology and an eager inquiry about his day.

Those were late; but never this late.

"Hi," You say.

It comes out pitchy and you screw your eyes shut at the way you sound. Like you're clearly out of breath and heaving against your mattress. Like you're struggling to hold your phone up to your ear as your hand wanders below your panty line. Like you're completely, utterly desperate for him because let’s face it—

You've got it bad.

Matty pauses. "Everything alright?"

"Oh yeah," You say quickly. Shifting against the bed, you move to sit up against the frame. "Everything's fine, just... Miss you is all."

"Miss me," He repeats your words in tut, his voice sounding relieved when hearing nothing is wrong. You hear him shift (wherever he is--in his hotel bed or maybe on the couch). "Why's that?"

You tuck your lip between your teeth as your fingertips pry at your folds.

"Can't I miss my boyfriend?"

He hums over the line. "Of course, of course."

"It's just been a while."

A while since a lot of things. A while since your last phone call. A while since you've seen him ever since he left for New York. A while since he's fucked you if you’re mentioning the obvious.

He goes quiet on the other line and your hand slows.

"Darling."

You wince, your fingers returning to your clit. "Yes?"

"Are you playing with yourself?"

You snap your hand away like you've been burned. Your mouth falls open and you can practically hear his amused grin through the phone.

"No." You hiss, face burning.

You glance down.

He chuckles at your insistence. "Are you sure?"

He can read you like a book.

"Positive."

In more ways than one.

"Not rubbing your clit?" He asks, his voice lowering.

A whine escapes you and you know you're in for it.

You dip a finger into your underwear again, swiping at your bundles of nerves experimentally. Stifling another whine, you lean your head back against the headboard.

"Darling," He breathes out. You perk up at the change in octave; listening closely to hear the buckle of his belt clank and his quiet exhale. "Are you lying to me?"

Rolling your eyes back as you toy with your clit, you sigh into the speaker: "Do you think I am?"

"No," Matty huffs a laugh. You can hear him fumble with the buttons of his pants. "My girl would never act like that."

Your mind grows fuzzy and all you can think of is his voice and how it sounds reverberating through your phone—how it would sound when he's hovered over you, how it would sound when he's buried between your thighs.

Because you’re not a stranger to that sound. Not unfamiliar with the way he holds your legs apart while lapping at your core. With the way he needs to keep your thighs in place or else you’d be squirming against his mouth both drawn in and out from all the sensations you’re feeling.

(“You’re so sensitive,” He’d say, groaning into your cunt. “Even before you come you’re twitching and whining—like you're in fucking heat or something.”)

“Like–” Your eyelids feel heavier as you draw out sharp, tight circles. “Like what?”

He hums. “Like a whore.”

Heat pools and you meet the warmth with the pad of your fingertip.

You swallow roughly, relishing in the sound of his breathy groan as you imagine him also touching himself. Also getting himself worked up to the point where his thighs shake and his fingers threaten to pull away.

“‘m not a whore," You defend through bitten lips.

Prying yourself open with one finger, your timid touches become erratic. Less controlled and more sloppy with every flick of your fingertip, rhythm becomes a thing of the past.

“No?” He chuckles, “Just like getting off to your boyfriend's voice while you’re fucking yourself?”

You’re already warm in the face; you don’t give Matty the pleasure of pretending to be embarrassed. You’re too close for that.

“Matty,” You breathe out, wanting to be done with the game.

“Yes, darling?”

If he wants to draw it out of you fine.

You wince as you draw sloppy figure-eights. “I want to finish.”

Which goes against what you usually want from Matty. Usually you’re shifting against him, urging him to slow down because you want to let it linger—almost dreading the idea of finishing and it being over.

(“I can’t,” You’d murmur, eyelids fluttering—clenching your stomach in an effort to hold off coming.

“You can.” His voice would turn stern and you’d feel another thump of heat radiate throughout your body. “Just let it happen, darling. Let me take you there.”)

Matty feigns mock surprise. “And here I was thinking we were having a heart-to-heart.”

“Don’t patronize,” You furrow your brows, halting your movements.

“I’m not some sex hotline, you know,” He tuts, his voice gravelly as he shifts around in the background. “To fulfill all your carnal urges.”

You blink. “I'll hang up.”

He doesn't miss a beat. “Well, hold on.”

You smile and you’ve got him.

"'m sorry," He says, sounding like he's closer to the phone. It makes shivers run down your body hearing him like this—tucked up in your neck while your fingers hover over your core. It's too much and not nearly enough at the same time. "Let me make it up to you."

Pretending to think about it, you click your tongue, "How?"

"Tell me how wet you are."

[wndaswife]

hi! sorry i keep having dark!mommy!wanda thoughts where she's your parents' neighbor and can't help but notice how most times you're all alone in your house while away from college and keep making yourself useful tending to house chores and offering help to her and other neighbors...

she keeps fantasizing about you and your eagerness to please and how she would use you whenever and she would keep you in bed all day...

she flirts and is very touchy with you but you don't think much of it, you don't really think of her in that way, specially since she's older than you and a divorced mom with joint custody,

during one of her visits to your house she tries to make a move and steals a kiss from your lips and both of you are shocked and you go all red and she can tell you're so so confused but she apologizes and pretends everything is fine and you don't know what to think so you go on with your life, although the kiss keeps replaying in your mind over and over.

one day she finally gets what she wants, she invited you over and all day she's doting and so so sweet and keeps touching you and you feel fuzzy and bubbly and you don't know what's happening until she holds your hands and leads you to her bedroom but you're just so dumbed down that you don't think much of it until you feel her hand in your panties, you try to cling to reason and refuse her advances but by then it's to late, she forces you to look at her while she pumps her fingers into you and orders you to tell her you love it when she's rough and how you want more, to the point where you start to believe it and she goes feral when she sees no thoughts behind your eyes, after you cum on her fingers she lays you on your tummy and spanks you for making a mess of mommy's sheets and makes you apologize over and over again, but you're gushing and your pussy is making the filthiest noices and you keep saying sorry and how you deserve whatever punishment mommy gives and suddenly you're cumming all over again.

Wanda is so proud but pretends to be disappointed and determines that she should fuck such a dirty slut with her strap because you clearly need to be filled, and she makes you say it, beg her to give you her cock because you need it and want to be breed by her, you didn't know such treatment and dirty talk could turn you on so much but you can't really think at the moment and just nod and take it.

Wanda fucks you so rough and slaps you several times asking you to tell her how much you love it and how she's the only one you want and your pussy is hers to use however she wants

Your so broken and dumb and you're cumming so hard you really can't think when she tells you to tell her you love her, and you do, so now that's all you can say and all she wants to hear, you love her, you love her with her cock inside you, you love her when she's spanking you, you love her touches, you love her when she dumbs you down and you love your mommy so much when she fucks you because you know she needs it.

She keeps using you all night and telling you she loves you and how she can't wait to train you to be her perfect little girl and you're exhausted but can't help to nuzzle into your mommy and confess that you don't want to leave her

even as she holds you tight you keep repeating that you love her and she kisses you and gives you her boobs so you can suck her nipples and drift to sleep like that...

(anyways hope you're having a great day 😀)

- rouge

THIS IS SO DEPRIVED OF YOU….. this is soooo detailed

i love how even tho she’s so rough n dark she’s soooo doting and obsessed with you, always calling you such a good girl n all

imagine while she’s fingering u and overstimulating you and having you confess to being a dirty slut, she’s hugging you against her so you can feel mommy close n her face is so close to yours that you can feel her warm breath on your chin while she’s mocking you for whimpering and saying it’s too much and when you call degrade yourself

and the look in her eyes when you can finally open your own to see her needing you so badly, her very gaze just driven mad with desire while she watches you, scrutinizes you, all because she thinks you’re just the sweetest, cutest, most fragile thing

[ticklystuff]

Day 14: High

a/n: ler!cyno, lee!tighnari — from the lovelytickletober list!

———

It was supposed to be a brownie.

It should've been a brownie.

But it wasn't just a brownie, as Cyno was now realizing, his body sprawled out uselessly on the bed, limbs heavy where they lay. Each arm and leg were akin to tree trunks, hardly working physical appendages that took the greatest amount of effort to shift even an inch. He curled his fingers and wiggled his toes, as if to ensure that his limbs were indeed still functioning pieces of his body.

"You good?"

The sound of the other voice triggered a delayed reaction and Cyno found himself lolling his head to meet the source, the effort involved equivalent to rolling a boulder along a rocky path. Sitting beside him at the edge of a bed was a foxian that he was sure he met before.... Wait, yes, this was the one that helped him into this very bed.. What was his name again?

The fox tilted his head inquisitively, his dark green hair swaying with his movements. "This is your first time, isn't it?"

Cyno blinked in response, processing the question in pieces. "First time?" God, his eyes felt so dry.

"You know, like," the fox moved his hands as he explained, "you've never had an edible before? Those brownies weren't just brownies, you know?"

Ah, so Cyno was correct.. those were definitely not just brownies.

"I don't know, you can always tell when someone's never been high before," the fox rambled on. "You were way out of it when I saw you."

And he was right; in fact, Cyno had never been to party till tonight. There was no reason for him to do so, of course, as he preferred spending his off-time from studying at home, or playing boardgames with friends, but curiosity had taken hold of him and just this once, he allowed himself to take the invite. And when someone brought out the brownies, well.. he couldn't help himself to what he thought was just ordinary party snacks.

"It's okay, though," the fox continued, "everyone reacts differently. How are you feeling?"

In all honesty, Cyno could feel everything. Not just the fibers of the blanket surrounding his body, but even his own thoughts passing his brain, the gentle drizzle of rain outside, as if it were personally falling over his own body, the sounds of people's chatter outside the room seemingly close, or the warm air permeating his skin, lifting a fuzzy feeling through his body.

His head lolled back to the fox and breathed a heavy sigh. "I feel.. nice."

"Good, good," the fox nodded. "Would you like me to keep you company, or would you prefer I step out?"

And as the fox spoke, something in particular caught Cyno's eyes. The way they flopped around, twitching in place, there was something just endearing about the fox's ears. They looked so soft....

"Sorry, I have a request," Cyno spoke dryly, unsure of what he was thinking just now.

"Oh, hm?" his ears perked up, drawing Cyno's attention back to them. "Did you need water? Or maybe some food? I can grab you something."

"No, no," Cyno mumbled slowly, his brain leaping for it, "can I.. pet your ears?"

The fox looked taken aback, as if Cyno offended him in the worst way. "W-What?"

"You don't have to," Cyno yawned, stretching his limbs, before flopping back down.

"You know, you can't just go around asking people stuff like that."

"Oh."

"But," the fox sighed, folding his arms as he paused, "fine, fine, go ahead."

Cyno smiled the biggest dopey smile as the fox reluctantly granted his wish, reaching a heavy limb out as the other lowered his head just within arms reach. And, oh, maybe it was the drugs, he couldn't tell, but his assumptions were confirmed true, feeling the fine fur under his fingers. He started to wonder if they were even real, as they could be described as soft velvet, lavish to the touch that felt exquisite under his hand."

"H-Hey, be careful!" the fox stifled his words, clearly holding something back, doing his best not too wiggle too much. "I-It tihihickles!"

And Cyno, he couldn't help himself. Not only was the feeling of the smooth fur stimulating to his brain, but the fox's laughter added to this. It carried a pleasant tone, breathy laughter filling the room that was music to Cyno's ears, hitting all the right notes. With one final pat, Cyno withdrew his hand, giving the floppy ears and their owner a break.

"Satisfied?" the fox grumbled, rubbing his ears with the tips of his fingers.

"Yeah," Cyno nodded contently, relaxing back into the mattress with a small grin crossing his face.

"Well, I'm going to go grab you some water," the fox stood up, "but I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay," Cyno nodded to his words, eyes heavy, but still fixated on those ears. "Uhm, what was your name again?"

The other turned back to him, tilting his head. "It's Tighnari and you're Cyno, yeah?"

"I already told you?"

"Yeah," Tighnari scoffed, "and I already told you too."

"Oh," Cyno yawned, his eyes blinking drowsily. "Nice to meet you.. Tighnari."

"Nice to meet you too."

[zerobaselove]

ever seen | zhang hao

pairing: zhang hao x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 711

warnings: nothing that i can think of?? lowercase intended, not proofread

notes: this is so rough and thrown together i just rlly wanted to write smth kinda inspired by a song on beabadoobees new album and im on the verge of biasing hao so here we are

"y/n, shouldn't you be asleep?"

you sighed in relief as you heard your best friend's voice over the phone, although more gravelly than you're used to, but you suppose that's because its almost two in the morning.

"i didn't think you'd be awake still," you mumbled, your eyes scanning your dark room, faintly lit by the moonlight through your window. his voice sounded back over your phone, "everything okay?"

you shook your head, though he didn't know that. "can't sleep, and i miss you." your voice trailed off, hoping the last part of your confession and your shaking voice had fallen victim to the static, but it hadn't.

you could hear the smile on his face as he responded, "do you need me to come over?" you only hummed in response before he said a quick farewell and headed out.

this had become a sort of routine as of late. much to your heart's dismay, you both knew you slept better when you weren't alone, and your best friend, and crush zhang hao, had no problem helping you get a few more hours of rest on nights like this.

despite his ability to make your heart skip a beat, he also was the only one who was able to calm you down enough to fall asleep. and that's how you ended up here, waiting in your bedroom as you quietly hummed a song to yourself.

you heard the front door unlock, having given him his own keys months ago, soon followed by a faint knock at your bedroom door and the door silently opening, revealing your safe haven and ticket to dreamland, hao.

he slid himself in your bed next to you, wrapping an arm around you tightly, "i'm here now," he said reassuringly, rubbing circles on your arm with his thumb. "do you want to talk about it or do you want a distraction until you get tired?"

"just wanna lay here with you for a bit," your voice had finally stopped shaking as you took in a deep breath, inhaling the faint scent of his cologne.

the two of you settled into a comfortable position; both laying facing one another, letting the moonlight illuminate a part of hao's face. his eyes seemed to sparkle in this lighting, like shining stars.

you were mesmerized.

your eyes trailed over his features; his slightly messy hair, clearly he hadn't had time to brush it between your phone call and him leaving his house. your gaze stopped for a moment on his lips, slightly parted as he focused in on your hands that had found their way to his own. and then there were his eyes. his eyes that seemed to hold all the love in the world, at least that's what it felt like when he looked at you; especially now.

"hao, you have the prettiest eyes i've ever seen." you blurted out, too tired to consider the weight of your words or the effect it would have on the boy who now flushed pink in front of you.

he stuttered out a denial that you couldn't quite understand, and before you could give it a second thought you broke your hands free of his grasp, bringing your hands to cup his cheeks. the warmth radiating from his face left you with your own warm and fuzzy feeling as you watched the emotions flash on his face. confusion and anticipation.

even you weren't anticipating your next move as you brought your face closer to his, feeling his breathing match up to your own at the new proximity.

before your brain could catch up to your body and tell you to back out, you pressed your lips to his, savouring the feeling for a moment before pulling away.

you both took a moment to compose yourself. taking the time to process what just happened. what were you thinking? you wondered to yourself. but before you could spiral down that path, his lips found their way to yours, this time taking you by surprise.

time had seemed to slow, and by the time you pulled away from each other, you both were nearly panting to catch your breath.

"well y/n, i think you might actually have the prettiest eyes i've ever seen."

[sim0nril3y]

Push and Pull - Part 2

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Civilian!Reader Scenario: Simon just can't seem to get you off his mind following the abrupt end to 'Push and Pull' Note: Set in 2014 Warnings: No mask Simon (It's my personal headcanon in his regular life he probably wouldn't wear it), mild angst, reconnection, joking about kidnapping a dog, Simon being his usual guarded self, canon-typical swearing

It had been a long couple weeks since your last interaction with Simon. In your head you understood that you were being a little sensitive that he hadn’t wanted something more with you, but there was another part of you that couldn’t help but feel used… You wondered, if he hadn’t wanted anything more serious then why had he strung you along so romantically? If he wanted sex and intimacy then why be so adverse to it in the beginning? Why not just sleep with you that first night and keep all emotions out of it?

“So, what happened to that bloke you were seeing?” Your friends voice broke through your fuzzy mind. It was a moving out party for one of her colleagues that was heading North. It wasn’t like you had even wanted to be here anyway, but she had convinced you it would be a good time with a bunch of booze – that promise was enough to get you into a nice dress and off your sofa watching re-runs of ‘Come Dine with Me’. “You seemed really into him…”

Yeah, you had been really into him, but… it clearly wasn’t meant to be. “Yeah. I think we were just both looking for different things.” You really didn’t need to spell it out for her to understand. An almost sympathetic look pulled across her face before she clinked her beer bottle against your own. “His loss, babe. I’ll go get us another couple of drinks.”

It was part hurt and part relief that there had been no communication within the past couple of weeks. He really hadn’t meant to make you feel like he was just using you, but maybe this way you might be able to move on and find someone that would be able to give you more than he was able to. Simon really hadn’t the thought of you being with someone else. He hated thinking about you teasing and laughing with them. He hated thinking about you on your knees for them. He hated thinking about your mind being consumed by them. It was for the best. Deep down he knew that he wasn’t built for love or affection. No, everything around him was death and destruction and he’d be damned if he was going to inflict that on you too.

As he sat watching the football highlights his eyes caught a glimmer of something beneath the coffee table. Leaning down he plucked up the small piece of jewellery in his hands and inspected it. He recognised this ring, it belonged to you. Just put it back. Fuckin’ throw it out. It’s junk jewellery. Even with his cruel inner monologue trying to warn him off Simon still rang your number. It rang and rang and rang. For a moment he thought that maybe you weren’t going to answer.

“H-hold on-” Your voice came down the line. There was mixture of music and voice down the speakers that told Simon you were out at the moment. Of course, you were… “Hello?” You asked as you finally got to place that gave you a little bit of peace. “I have something that belongs to you…”

There was a beat of silence before you muttered back. “You sound like a supervillain.” You should have been angry with him, but there was humour that laced your voice. “Do you have my dog or something?” Simon begrudged himself as he laughed lowly before responding. “Bloody hell, you really must think I’m a monster if you think I’ve kidnapped your dog…” It was just so easy to have this banter with you, like no time had passed at all, or there hadn’t been any hurt between you.

“Well, I’ll be a little concerned because I don’t actually have a dog…” You responded with a small laugh and he groaned as he covered his face with his hand. “Why would you be worried that I’d kidnap your dog if you don’t have one?” Trying to figure out your brain was like trying to solve a very intricate puzzle, but the moment your laughter lilted down the line Simon found himself smiling. He’d missed it. He’d missed you. “It’s actually a ring I found… it doesn’t seem my style so it must belong to you.” He mentioned observing the small band in his fingers.

For a moment you were quiet before stating. “It might belong to one of the other girls you’ve brought back to your flat…” There was jealousy linger there, along with hurt that hurt his heart. “I don’t bring other girls back to my flat.” Only you, he wanted to add but the words never formed in his mouth. “Do you think… can I bring it to you?” He questioned with a crease forming in his brow. There was a part of you that had wanted to deny him, but… another part… a more needy and affection part spoke first and louder. “I’m at a party… but sure. I’ll send you the address.” He could hear the way that you attempted to be nonchalant but there was there affection there.

It didn’t take long for Simon to leave once she sent him the address and honestly it wasn’t hard to find the house as he drove down the road. Each other house was quiet, curtains closed and dead to the world, but the one he pulled up outside of was lively, music pumping from inside and people filtering in and out. By the brick fence his eyes spotted you, lingered there looking at your phone as if you were trying to keep yourself busy, or at least look as if you were for when he arrived.

Climbing from his car he approached and you glanced up. “That didn’t take long…” You noted and then looked him up and down. “So, do you have my ring, or…” “Bollocks. I left it in the car…” He cursed softly. “Do you wanna come get it?” He asked and you eyed him suspiciously before wandering over and climbing into the passenger seat. Just like you imagined his car was just as organised as his house, there wasn’t an item out of place and it smelt like fresh pine. He climbed into the driver’s seat beside you and collected the ring from the centre console and placed it into your open hand.

“Thanks…” You hummed quietly twirling it around your fingers before sliding it on, the whole time keeping your eyes trained on it. “I think I owe you an apology…” Simon began and you looked at him. “Don’t be silly. We were just having fun, right?” He saw the way your smile pulled into a fake smile, trying to act easy-going but he saw through it right away. “Listen, I still don’t think I have a good answer for your question… what were we doing? Fuck knows, all I knew was that… that you…” He looked direction at you, intense eyes setting you completely still. “You have pushed me and challenged me and fucking terrified me more than anyone has for…” He really had to think. “Forever.”

“I’ve never known anyone like you.” He mentioned rubbing his face softly. “Is that a bad thing?” You asked then a look of concern set on your face. “No… No, it isn’t… I’m just… trying to figure out how to deal with all this.” He frowned. “This isn’t easy for me and I know that me being like this doesn’t make it easy for you either…”

A frown set on your face, twirling your ring again slowly before looking at him. “I told you from the beginning at your pace…” Then looking at him. “I just wanted something… just a little something to try and tell me I was on the right path… or that I hadn’t ruined everything…” Reaching across Simon took your hand, squeezing it so gently. “You didn’t ruin anything.” Then bringing your hand to his mouth to kiss your knuckles sweetly. “I wanna take you out again… if you’ll let me…”

There was a beat of silence between you both then and Simon wondered for a moment if maybe you’d decline. “Okay…” You said, softly and sweetly before tilting your head up to meet his gaze. “Okay.” He responded with a small smile finding his lips. “I won’t fuck this up.” “You won’t.” You agreed softly as he brought your hand up to press a kiss to his knuckles.

Masterlist | Ask | 03-09-2023