#Everyone's trying to love and support Julian

[walkingstackofbooks]

5 times Julian watched Miles die (and one time he didn't)

When a bar fight goes horribly wrong, Julian does everything he can to save Miles. It's not enough. Miles dies, and Julian is left bereft and distraught. But this is a time loop fic, so when he wakes up the next day, Julian finds the universe has given him another chance to save his friend... And another... And another. There are many ways for Miles to die on a space station, and however much Julian tries -- furiously repressing his ever-increasing grief and dread to focus on this so-important task -- he just can't seem to stop the endless cycle. It doesn't help that, although his feelings are really too much to deal with, his friends keep pressing him to open up to them. He's fine, he insists, until he really isn't, and discovers that he does need a shoulder to cry on after all. Grief, hope, rage, hurt, comfort, despair, joy... A roller-coaster of emotions accompanies Julian through the most challenging six days of his life, and he is so, so tired.

Sound like your kind of story? Within the next few weeks, my fic 'Vision Awry' - a remix of the DS9 episode 'Visionary' - is going to start updating again, so now's the perfect time to go and read the first half! 😉 (while it's still a manageable 50k... :P )

From the end of September, I'll be resuming my regular posting schedule every week until the story reaches its conclusion - so if you're looking for a feels-y Julian WIP to subscribe to that will have both •definite updates, and •a definite end, may I shamelessly recommend that you give my fic a whirl? I am incredibly proud of it, and am so excited to be on the verge of sharing the rest of it with you all 🥰

[w0rrcestershire-sauce]

had a dream about an episode where robin was confirmed canon trans got mad when i woke up

[cdr2002]

In case I haven’t made it clear I don’t like Jezri because it comes across as Julian pursuing Ezri solely for a second chance at Jadzia and only superficially because of Ezri herself. Yes I do ship Ezrys but Kira was like, patient with Ezri, and gave her space to get to know herself, and wasn’t constantly thinking about how she used to pine over Jadzia in every interaction they have. And you know what this is kind of Quark’s fault to for reminding Julian at the most awkward moment. I’m not unsympathetic to Julian, his general weirdness with relationships clearly comes from a general struggle to connect, I don’t think he’s a bad person and emotionally it’s understandable that he would take his second shot at the girl who got away. But that doesn’t mean it was gonna work out. And that’s ok, because Julian and Ezri do have a genuine enough connection that they could easily remain friends as exes and probably be better at supporting each other after it’s over. We see it with Julian and Leeta, and Ezri and Worf. Those are strong lasting friendships that can persist past not being lovers anymore and that’s awesome.

For Ezri’s part in the relationship, we see clearly that everyone who mattered to Jadzia does matter to her, independently. It isn’t just the worm. She has assessed those memories and interacted with these people on her own and come to the conclusion “these are MY friends to.”

We see it with Ben, Kira, Leeta, Rom, Julian before the romance, Worf after they fuck and get it out of their system. She’s not a helpless little baby who dated Julian because she was filtering Jadzia feels and didn’t know who she was, he clearly had some kind of appeal, probably in that he was a dork like her and a major change from being with someone as intense as Worf, who she clearly did not love the same way Jadzia did. Totally makes sense, totally her choice. And it always felt like Jadzia never went for Bashir because she was waiting for him to grow up, and season 7 Bashir definitely has, so the part of it does that come from Jadzia makes sense to.

But as much as Bashir has generally matured as a person over the course of the series, his handling of himself in relationships really hasn’t. He’s better at starting romantic conversations and initiating relationships than he was in season 1, but he never gets better at keeping them. Melora, Sarina, shying away from taking things further with Garak until life pulls them apart. Ezri is an extremely kind person but her patience is not infinite, and while she is a counselor, I don’t think she likes her romantic partners to be projects the way Jadzia sort of did. She didn’t have the patience for trying to pull Worf further from his macho Klingon chauvinism the way Jadzia continuously had to, she just bluntly told him that she wasn’t into it and his empire was a joke. Her dates are not her patients, and good, that’s how it should be, she shouldn’t have to take on that emotional labor.

But Julian needs a therapist. Ezri will not be both. At the least, he needs someone who gets him on a very deep level it’s arguable that only Garak does. Likewise, Ezri needs someone who gets her and likes her for her. Kira can offer that, I think if they met Lenara would be able to offer that. Leeta would be able to offer that if she wasn’t in a presumably monogamous marriage.

But Julian can’t. He’s too hung up on Jadzia.

And sooner or later, Ezri is just going to tell him that to his face.

[bigproblemsfunnylife]

Main 6 x GN! Very shy in public MC

Title: Headcanons

Characters: Asra Alnazar, Nadia Satrinava, Julian Devorak, Muriel, Portia Devorak, Lucio.

CW: Public anxiety and social discomfort, protective/supportive dynamics, fluff, comfort and emotional understanding.

ASRA:

—Asra notices immediately when you’re overwhelmed (after all, he has know you for years). He can recognize the way your eyes flitting around at the crowd, your fingers nervously fidgeting, and he will gently slipping his hand into yours without a word.

—They use light-hearted magic tricks to distract you or others—like making butterflies or sparkles float around—drawing attention away from you while making you smile.

—Leans down to whisper jokes or affirmations like, “You don’t have to say a word if you don’t want to, love.”

—If someone tries to engage you too much, Asra smoothly redirects the conversation to themselves or subtly steps in front of you as a shield.

—At the shop, when it’s just you two, he strokes your hair and makes you some snacks while Faust tries to make you happy: “Friend! Smile!”

JULIAN:

—At first, he tries to hype you up in public, particularly in the Rowdy Raven: “You’ve got this! You look amazing!”—but the second he sees how uncomfortable you are, he dials everything back.

—He’s not entirely sure how to react—he’s naturally loud and dramatic in public—so your shyness catches him off guard in a deeply endearing way.

—Once he notices your discomfort, he immediately tries to downplay the crowd’s attention by exaggerating his own presence, like pulling a theatrical bow or twirling his coat to draw eyes away.

—If you cling to him, he absolutely melts and goes completely red. “Oh–! You are too precious, my dear. Come closer, I’ll fend off the terrifying nobles.”

—Talks for you when needed but always asks your permission first with a gentle hand squeeze.

—Later in private, he brings you calming herbs and dramatically insists he’ll fight every social situation for you: “You just say the word and I’ll duel everyone!” But he also nervously ask, “Did I embarrass you? I—I was trying to help—do you want to talk about it? Or not talk? I can be silent. Quiet as a mouse.”

NADIA:

—With his important role as the Countess, it will be a little complicated for Nadia to help you in this situation because of her visibility, but she tries the most she can.

—Offers her hand or arm for you to hold and subtly positions herself between you and the crowd, letting you walk half-hidden beside her.

—She speaks with such grace that no one even notices you’re not talking.

—When she senses you’re overwhelmed, she leans in and murmurs, “Shall we disappear for a while?” and whisks you away to a quiet balcony or secluded corridor.

—Afterward, she invites you to a quiet garden or private tea to decompress—she knows the cost of public performance and gives you the space to feel safe and heard.

MURIEL:

—Muriel can tell you’re uncomfortable because… He’s feeling the exact same way.

—He gets it. Deeply. You two might be hiding behind each other at some point.

—Muriel doesn’t push you to engage. If you seem overwhelmed at the Marketplace or at Asra’s house, he immediately tries to leave with you—“We don’t have to stay.”

—When you cling to him or hide behind his cloak, he blushes furiously but doesn’t move—he’ll even adjust his stance to shield you better.

—Quietly offers his hand or stands beside you silently as a grounding presence. He doesn’t talk much, but when he does, it’s in a low, calm voice just for you: “Okay?”

—If someone tries to engage you too forcefully, he stares them down with the full force of six-foot-silent-giant energy.

—In the hut, he will offer you a warm blanket and Inanna will be lying at your feet.

PORTIA:

—Portia sees how shy you are in public and immediately gets protective. Not in an overbearing way—more like a loud older sister who scares off weird uncles at weddings.

—Puts herself between you and any overly curious nobles, spinning them around with charm and distraction—“Sorry, no questions for the cutie behind me! They’re a mystery.”

—If someone makes you uncomfortable, she literally body blocks them with a wide smile and a “Oops! Didn’t see you there!”

—Tries to hype you up constantly with little comments like, “You’re doing great. Want me to fake a distraction so we can escape? I’ve got five.”

—She will tell you gossips to make you laugh.

—Afterwards, at home, she rewards you with sweets and cozy cuddles.

LUCIO:

—At first, he’s confused. “Why are you hiding? Don’t you want everyone to see us??” But then he sees how tense you are.

—He’s… Weirdly good at pivoting. Suddenly he’s not the loud party host anymore—he’s your knight in flashy armor, deflecting attention with flair.

—If you cling to his arm, he puffs up proudly: “See this gorgeous person? They’re with me, so BACK OFF.”

—Gives you dramatic reassurances in a low voice: “I’ve got you. Just stay close. I’ll blind them with my charm while you look mysterious and cool.”

—At the end, he’ll pretend he wasn’t worried, but he quietly holds your hand and lets you guide the pace, even suggesting a private getaway—“Next time, just me and you. No crowds. Just champagne and cuddles.” Of course, with Mercedes and Melchior.

—He loves parties, but he will always make an exception for you.

[lady-sci-fi]

Found some good analysis for "Distant Voices" Garashir stuff on the episode's Memory-Alpha page.

"Linking this episode with "The Search, Part II", we can see resemblances in Garak's behavior. The common point between those two mental experiences being Bashir, it can be assumed that Garak's bravery and helpfulness in "The Search, Part II" is probably a projection of Bashir's perception of him. "Distant Voices" keeps in tune with "The Search, Part II", as we get to see a projection of caring, protective Garak again. Additionally, beyond his facade of kind tailor, Garak is a home-longing exiled Cardassian – just as Bashir longs to recover his body and life in "Distant Voices" – and, since "The Wire", Bashir knows just how much pain Garak endures from being stuck on DS9. The close relationship between the tailor and the doctor sets Garak as a target for the Lethean to try and manipulate Bashir by corrupting the projection of Garak. For all those reasons, Garak could be Bashir's determination and endurance – another reason why the Lethean would target this aspect in particular, as his goal was to trick Bashir into giving up."

I agree with it. It's also my interpretation, like this analysis also implies, that Garak was legit, until the Lethean took him over when they get to Ops near the end.

I love Garak being Julian's determination and endurance. As further evidence, Garak is the most helpful and supportive out of everyone. Like Julian knows he can count on Garak to get him through it no matter what. Everyone else might leave him or die, but Garak? Garak is with him to the end.

And what does Garak say to Julian in the final scene after he wakes up? "Cardassians don't believe in luck, Doctor. You survived because you're strong." Expressing determination and endurance.

[serialkillerbettycooper]

Top 6 Penelope Blossom moments

6. Lesbian Nun Era Every time we haven't seen a television character in a while it should be revealed that they became a nun and realized they're gay. No exceptions.

5. Husband Poisoning Love to see her pulling a Clytemnestra and killing her husband as revenge for her child, especially given the fact that she was groomed from childhood to be his sisterwife. He had it coming <3

4. You're Killing People. Not People, Men. Her Jennifer Check slay. Also her turn as a serial killer is so funny to me she faces zero consequences for any of it until she decides she feels like it and turns herself in.

3. That Time She Put The Core Four Through A Death Gauntlet I'm going to be real with you. I barely even remember why she did all that but I fully support her. Putting everyone in dramatic outfits? Slay. Making Archie fight some guy dressed as a bear? Queen shit. Making Beronica drink poison for each other? Lesbian rights. Shooting Hal Cooper? Iconic.

2. Popping Out Of The Walls to Tell Cheryl She Murdered Their Entire Extended Family The fact that this is probably the nicest thing she ever did for Cheryl speaks volumes. Also addressing her affectionately as Nightmare Child.

1. Living In The Walls To Try Gaslight Cheryl Into Thinking She Was Being Haunted By Her Secret Triplet Julian Incredibly unnecessary. Extremely dramatic and for literally no reason except to fuck with Cheryl's head. Mother of the year.

[egg-emperor]

julian im so sorry people are freaking out over on twitter and calling you a zionist for just trying to enjoy your favoruite fatboy. people are stupid

Thanks I appreciate that a lot. I'm not going to talk about it too much here so this will be the only post mentioning it directly because if I let it consume me it'll just stress me out. But considering how chill people have been towards me for the exact same posts here that I simply crossposted to Twitter, I'm guessing people are more sensible here and can actually understand

It was very frustrating how many people jumped on me to insult and attack me for enjoying something new of Eggman, the way I literally always have openly online for years. I simply didn't want to discuss anything that wasn't related to his appearance in the game and yet everyone immediately wanted to make it about that, then got angry when I had boundaries and wanted to curate my space using the tools social media has given me to use

But apparently doing that means this and that and everyone needs to insult and attack me and argue and pick apart every little thing I did despite all the different possibilites of what it could mean, so it had the exact opposite effect than what I was aiming for. But it proves why I was right to not want it on my post at all when it all went to shit with people arguing, speaking for me which I didn't like on ALL sides, and just insulting me and my character like they know me or can demand me to speak and act a certain way like they're entitled to it

Tumblr seems more chill about the sentiment of "don't put all your focus and energy into things that make you uncomfortable or get you down online, it's okay to not want to discuss current events or politics and it doesn't indicate your side or your opinions, it doesn't have to be other people's business and you can dediciate your space to what you want" than Twitter now, so I can trust that I don't have to expect stress for saying it here

My online spaces have always been my break from my stressful private life and I'm currently in the middle of pulling myself out of another months long bleak situation that I'm not ready to talk about yet and people are demanding me to continue to think and speak about all the bad things in the world on top of that, especially when I'm just trying to be happy and have some fun, which seeing and hearing Eggman in Crossworlds has made me feel the most in weeks

I've lost a few people I liked and admired over this massive overblown misunderstanding so I hope airing it out here won't make me lose more. But I'm not going to force or demand people to understand and accept me like the way others have been forcing me to do things I'm not comfortable doing on there, so I'll just trust the nice people who are understanding will stay because I'd love to still see them around. I really appreciate what we have here, it's a much more chill and accepting comfortable space now that I can't find anywhere else

Thanks for your understanding and support, it means more than I know how to express. I'm gonna love and appreciate that beautiful fat boy forever lol 💜

[ramblingandpie]

HOKAY SO On the "Pie watches DS9 for the first time" tour, tonight I'm going to ramble about something that's been in my head since I watched it, just, stuff percolating.

Major spoilers for season 3 episode 13, "Life Support," under the cut.

So part of the reason I am loving DS9 is Julian Bashir. They really did say like "Ok take some of Pie's favorite tropes and also favorite areas of academia and roll them up into one (1) repressed twink." And I love that for me.

So for those who don't know me IRL or, like, well over the internet, I fucking love bioethics. It is my jam. One of my biggest regrets in life is that I didn't even know that "clinical bioethicist" is a job that some people can do until I was in my mid-30's and I don't have enough formal philosophy training to get into a good bioethics grad program. I am an attorney and I work in healthcare regulation, which is close enough, I guess. I've written huge research projects about the history of the eugenics movement on aspects of modern health law. I'm also an MPH student. If I win the lottery and can then not worry about money but just do what I love, that's probably what I'd go back to school for. So, like, when I say that bioethics is my jam, I also am not just being an armchair philosopher. Am I the level of a clinical bioethicist? No. Have I done full bioethics consult simulations? Yes.

And, yes, I do have some spoilers for Dr. Bashir And Bioethics And Maybe Why He Cares So Much About Patient Autonomy and hot damn they really did take my favorite tropes.

AND HO BOY did this episode give me a lot to chew on.

Basically, there are 4 "pillars" of clicial bioethics. Patient autonomy, beneficience (the benefits of treatment), nonmaleficience (do no harm), and justice (what's right for everyone involved [not just, like, patient family, but also things like medical supply rationing]). Patient autonomy is HUGE and IMPORTANT and the biggest thing is like... allowing patients to make their own choices with as much information as the patient can have, even if that choice is "I don't want to know." Which presents difficulties. BUT here, Bareil was like ok yes doc tell me everything ok yep I'm choosing to take this course of action that means I'll probably die. Because it's important to me and my values. Which. LEGIT.

AND THEN I got worried because my man Bashir was like I have concerns but it's your call, dude. AND THEN HE WAS LIKE HEY WINN I NEED YOU TO LIE TO THE PATIENT????

NO??? Don't lie to the patient, Bashir! I'm so disappointed!

... UNTIL he was like "Because you benefit politically if he dies you're not a neutral informant so fuck you." And then I was like OH SNAP!!!! Because! One of the ultimate goals is to try to distill what the PATIENT wants, not what the folks around them (who might have ulterior motives) want!!!! So ok yes in that case you might be like "Hey I need you to balance what you did by doing this other thing so that the patient can look at the situation as a whole without a third party trying to get something out of THE PATIENT'S DEATH."

So basically that episode was like crack to me THE END.

[noitsbecky127]

rebecca watches ds9: civil defense

hello miles!

and jake!

do you really want to outright delete the files? hopefully they’re backed up somewhere. deleting things permanently always bites you in the ass in fiction

jesus fuck that’s 131 fahrenheit

oh this is about to go to shit isn’t it

yep it’s going to shit!

of course it has that contingency. how are they gonna get out of this one

it would be too easy if odo could fix this, so he will not be able to fix this

how the fuck did quark get cardassian security clearance

ok they seem to have gotten the contingency to stop, but we’re only 7 minutes in so i don’t think that’s the end of it

wonder why that random file was what triggered it anyway

hard to surrender to cardassian security when there is no cardassian security

dukat shut the FUCK up challenge

you got this jake

oh shit time’s up

idk what that gas does but it is probably bad!

good thing they escaped just in time!

of course there’s a contingency for escape. should’ve seen that one coming

I wonder if maybe garak could help

oh comms are down aren’t they

this is murphy’s law in action right now

“time for a less subtle approach” *grabs gun*

LMAO was pointing it at julian really necessary? she definitely did not need to do that

if the field’s there to protect ops then there ought to be a way to shut it off from in there

three years? but we’re barely into season 3

what am i doing, trying to make sense of trek’s timelines is a fool’s errand. you measure that shit with your heart

oh god quark and odo are locked in together. this is gonna be fun

i love their dynamic so much. they’re so fucking funny

i cannot figure out what the siskos and miles are trying to do here. are they hoping to break the door down

ah. new plan. explode the door open. that’s as good of a strategy as any

oh jadzia’s hands look painful

good thing julian’s here!

why is julian always in ops? why is he not in the infirmary? what exactly is he doing up there?

stop making me hear dukat’s voice

yep i was right! garak is here and capable of helping! hopefully he will do so. for his boyfriend if nothing else

ok he can’t fix this but he can probably do SOMETHING

unfortunately destroying the life support systems will also kill everyone

“that gives us twelve hours to regain control of this station” and then what’s your plan for the life support? regaining control of the station will not help you to not suffocate!

“in all likelihood i am dead” god i fucking wish

well, i guess two hours is better than five minutes!

wait I want to know more about quark’s dad

i want to know about his family in general actually. knowing star trek he and rom could have like five more siblings lmao

how many ferengi has odo met? aside from the main three not many have come aboard ds9

“can i have the phaser back? 🥺” “no 😤”

oh yay technobabble time

hopefully the technobabble will save them!

the girlfriends are off, now it’s just the boyfriends

I love them so much

LEVEL 4???

THAT GUY JUST GOT FUCKING DISINTEGRATED WHAT THE SHIT

WHY IS DUKAT HERE NOW

DUKAT FUCK OFF AND DIE CHALLENGE

oh christ what are his demands gonna be

leave garak alone!

i bet dukat’s homophobic

oh yeah no he is just ITCHING to call garak a slur. he wants so badly to be homophobic but that would require the show to acknowledge the existence of gay people

no dukat, ds9 really doesn’t need a permanent cardassian presence

kira is so hot when she’s being intimidating

damn it’s already been 90 minutes? time moves fast around here

OH MY GODDDD

i’m losing my shit here. this is the most on-brand thing to ever happen to dukat. get fucked

unfortunately now no one can stop the self-destruct

the fact that dukat isn’t allowed to say homophobic slurs has reduced him to saying “tailor” like it’s an insult

how are they gonna solve this in the next 25 minutes

perhaps the siskos and miles will be able to fix it

garak to dukat: she gay dude stop it lol

“i should have executed you years ago” “oh you tried, remember?” GARAK MY BELOVED

this is like a fever. they’re demolishing this station in the hopes that they’ll get the self-destruct before it gets them

I’m not entirely sure what Dukat just did but it seems to have worked!

the siskos and miles are gonna save the day!!!

wonder why odo’s forcefield is separate from the others

ah yeah, that makes sense, the cardassians would rather just let him die

that’s a fuckton of rubble

oh god what is it now

oh that does not look good

oh shit miles!

keep going sisko you only have like two minutes

jake saves the day?

jake saves the day!!!

the reactor overloaded but the station remains intact, so ig whatever they were doing there worked

“a self-important con artist who’s nowhere near as clever as he thinks he is” yeah that’s pretty accurate

i love odo roasting quark

[transbookoftheday]

In Case You Read This by Edward Underhill

From acclaimed author Edward Underhill comes a trans rom-com about serendipity, chance encounter, and the ultimate missed connection. This joyful celebration of queer love and found family is perfect for fans of Becky Albertalli, Emery Lee, and Julian Winters.

Arden isn’t excited about moving. Los Angeles was an easy place to fit in and find a supportive queer community. But Winifred, Michigan? That sounds like a much more difficult place to exist.

Pasadena, California, is the perfect city for Gabe’s reinvention. Everyone knew everything about him in small-town Shelby, Illinois. Gabe, who wants to be out and proud, can’t wait to relocate.

When Arden and Gabe randomly meet in the lobby of a motel in Nebraska, it feels like fate. Both are trans, but more importantly, both are huge fans of the band Damaged Pixie Dream Boi. Clearly, the universe is trying to tell them something. Right?

But after an incredible evening of hanging out, the pair part ways only knowing the other’s first name. And as both boys struggle to adjust to their new homes, their thoughts keep being drawn back to their time together. Is one perfect night enough to bring Arden and Gabe back to each other, or will the boys need some help to find each other again? 

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #46

previous // next // story index

__________

Yuri

We all survived the weekend.

I don’t mean for that to sound offhanded or flippant. What I mean is, It was a tough weekend for Victor and me, but our friends didn’t find it particularly pleasant either, nor did our families. Today is Wednesday, and the first part of the week hasn’t been any easier than the weekend, but we’re all still here and hanging on as best we can.

Victor is still in the hospital, and everyone’s been calling and texting me to find out how he's doing. Sakura, Seiji and Takahiro want to visit him, and so does my little sister Yuki, but he won’t accept any visitors other than me. He says he doesn’t want our friends to see him the way he is, and he especially doesn’t want Yuki to. He’s concerned the experience of visiting him in the hospital might upset her. I didn’t bother to point out that Yuki has visited me on numerous occasions when I’ve been in the hospital. I’m sure she’s never thought of it as fun, but she’s never seemed any the worse for it either.

I’m frustrated because I think it would do Victor good to have some visitors other than me, but I also understand that if he says he doesn’t want visitors, we all have to respect that. Regardless of how badly all the people who love him want to see him and show their support, ultimately the decision is his.

As for his family, I’ve been talking to Dr. Grace and Dr. Julian every day since Saturday. I've also spoken to Ellie a couple of times. I haven’t connected with Leo, but I’m sure Ellie is passing all the information on to him and his parents.

I didn’t end up reaching Dr. Grace at all on Friday, notwithstanding my numerous attempts. After I finished recording my journal entry on Friday night, I crawled into bed, so exhausted that I don’t even remember pulling the blankets over myself before falling asleep. Apparently, Dr. Grace called after I was in bed. I hadn’t even heard my phone, but Papa did. He answered it and explained to her what had happened.

According to Papa’s retelling on Saturday morning, Victor’s mother hadn’t taken the news well at all, which was nothing less than I would’ve expected. Papa said it sounded as if she intended to get on the earliest flight she could, which didn’t surprise me either.

By the time I finally spoke to her on Saturday evening, she seemed calm, although I could tell she was very concerned. She said she wouldn’t come unless we really needed her to, but she made me promise to give her daily updates until Victor was able to talk with her himself.

I spent almost the entire day on Saturday at the hospital with Victor, and most of Sunday as well. He didn’t get to come home on Sunday afternoon like Dr. Sato had said, because when the nurses helped him out of bed around mid-morning and tried to get him to walk, he didn’t even take one step before he said he was dizzy and felt like he was going to fall. They kept encouraging him to try again, but he was scared and wouldn’t do it.

He made tentative progress on Monday, taking a few wobbly steps away from his bed before he panicked. Yesterday, he refused to get out of bed at all, and this morning Dr. Sato said she’d consider sending him home in a wheelchair if he isn’t able or willing to walk by the end of the week. That, and she said she intends to refer him to a neurologist because, according to her, there’s no medical reason why he isn’t able to walk other than a neurological problem. She mentioned referring him to a psychologist as well, in case the problem isn’t physiological. Victor’s lackluster response to that had been, “Fine. Whatever you want to do.”

The threat of having to see more specialists and having to be pushed around in a wheelchair hasn’t motivated him. I thought it would, but unfortunately it’s only made the situation worse. Victor seems resigned to the fact that he’s going to continue to be poked, prodded and questioned by various strangers and that his recovery is going to be marked by challenges. I know he doesn’t like it, but I think he’s given up protesting anything and has just decided to let his circumstances happen to him rather than taking any sort of control over them.

After Dr. Sato left, a care assistant arrived with his breakfast tray, which contained a grilled cheese sandwich — his favourite — a small plate of fresh fruit, a bowl of vanilla yogurt, milk, and green tea. He doesn’t have much dexterity with a cast on each forearm, but he can move his fingers enough to grip some things or to hold a cup securely between both hands. Theoretically, he should have been able to manage at least the grilled cheese by himself, but he asked me to hold it for him instead. I didn’t mind, but I would’ve been happier if he’d done more than nibble the corner off it.

He let me feed him a few bites of cut-up banana and apple, but he didn’t want anything else despite my coaxing and pleading with him to eat. He didn’t want to drink his milk either, which he typically loves. I’ve never known him to start the day without a big glass of cold milk at breakfast, and it worried me that he didn’t even have an appetite for that.

I ate the rest of the banana and two apple slices, perhaps hoping in some odd way that if he noticed me consuming something voluntarily, it’d encourage him to eat as well. It didn’t, but I opted to look on the bright side anyway. One of us got some benefit from the meal.

When it became obvious that Victor couldn’t be persuaded to finish his breakfast, I carried the tray carefully across the room and set it on the little counter next to the sink.

Taking the cup of tea from the tray, I returned to my chair next to Victor’s bed. While my back had been to him, he’d lain down again. His eyes were closed. I sipped the tea. It was scented with jasmine and reminded me of my mother.

“You know you can’t keep going on like this,” I said.

“Like what?” he mumbled.

“You know exactly what. You need to eat, and you need to get up and start moving."

"I’m not hungry,” he said.

“Would you eat if you were hungry?” I asked.

“I guess.”

This was not a particularly resounding reply, but I let it go. I had to tell myself that missing one or two meals wasn’t going to hurt him. If he still didn’t want to eat by tomorrow, that’d be a different story, but I resolved not to stress myself out about it in advance. I was already tired and stressed enough.

I finished my tea and tried to think of something to say that didn’t involve the hospital or Victor’s state of health. Neither of us typically has to search for things to talk about with each other, but for the past few days, most of our conversations have felt strained and awkward.

“I’ve been thinking about the new house,” I said.

“Uh-huh.”

“I found an app that lets you upload pictures and then pick colours so you can see what they’ll look like in the room. I used some of the photos Kim and Robert sent us to plan out my bedroom.”

“We’re still moving?”

“Of course we’re still moving,” I said. “Why wouldn’t we?”

“I don’t know if I want to any more,” Victor said.

I was momentarily stunned. “Moving to Maple Grove was your idea.”

“No, it was your idea,” he said testily.

“All right, maybe it was, but I wanted to do it for you. I suggested it because I thought you wanted to go home, to be with your family and friends and everything you grew up with.”

“It’s not what you want.”

“I want to be with you,” I told him. “I don’t care where we are.”

"You say that now, but you won't like it there," he said. "If something's gonna work, it has to be because you want it for yourself, not because you think you're doing it for me."

"What I want is for us to be together."

"Then, we can stay here together," he said. I probably shouldn’t have been surprised when he began to cry. If I’ve learned anything about Victor since we’ve been together, it’s that he can become teary at the slightest provocation. “I don’t want to move. I don’t want to do anything hard. All I want is to go home and sleep in my own bed.”

“But, you just said—”

“No… home. To our house. Can you please take me home?”

“I want you to come home," I said. "When the doctor says you can go, I’ll take you.”

“I don’t want to stay here.”

I placed my empty cup on the floor, and then pulled my chair closer to the bed. “Listen to me for a second,” I said, caressing his cheek with the back of my hand. “I know you don’t want to stay here, and I really want to bring you home more than anything, but if you don’t want to leave in a wheelchair, Dr. Sato needs to know that you can walk at least as far as from your bed to the bathroom. Do you think you can do that?”

“I can’t.”

“Can you tell me why you can’t?”

“Because,” he said, as more tears spilled down the sides of his face and onto my fingers. “I’ll mess it up. Like I mess up everything.”

“Victor, look at me.” I moved my hand up to stroke his head, gently pushing back unkempt locks of silver hair. “You do not mess up everything. You’re strong and capable and there are lots of things you do really well. Don’t I always tell you that?”

“To be nice.”

“No, not just to be nice. I say it because it’s true.”

“What can I do? I can’t feed myself or dress myself. I can’t even see like a normal person.”

“None of that is going to be forever.” I did my best to reassure him. “You’ll get better, and you’ll be able to do everything you used to do.”

“What if I don’t get better?”

“You will. Your arms and your rib will heal, and then you can start exercising again and doing all the things you like. You were going to teach me how to lift weights, remember? We can build up our strength together.”

“But… what if my eyes don’t get better?” he asked. “What happens then?”

I closed my own eyes for a moment. This was the question to which I didn’t want to contemplate the answer. I’d look after of him, of course. Whatever he needed, I’d do it to the best of my ability, but that wasn’t the real issue. The difficulty lay in the psychological impact that even a partial loss of vision would have on him if it were permanent. He was already miserable and distressed. I could only imagine what would happen to him if his vision didn’t improve.

“We have to think positively.” It was a stupid thing to say, and I knew it before the sentence had completely left my mouth. Victor didn’t need to hear useless platitudes. I pulled in a breath and let it out slowly. “But if things don’t improve, we’ll find a way to cope. I’ll take care of you.”

“You’re not supposed to be taking care of me,” he said, and it came out sounding like a mixture of anger and defeat. “I’m supposed to be taking care of you, but if I can’t do what you need, then what’s the point?”

“Victor,” I said softly. “I love you. I need you. Anyone can cook for me and organize my medications, but only you can understand me and love me the way you do, and you don’t need 20/20 vision for that.”

He didn’t respond for a long time. He just lay there and wept. The low moaning sound of it was horribly familiar to my ears because it was almost exactly the same sound that comes out of me when I’m exhausted and in unbearable pain and wishing I could simply slip away into nothingness.

Seeing Victor in that state was hard, not just because it broke my heart to know how much he was suffering, but also because I understand how humiliating it is to feel so helpless and weak. It’s not a new feeling for me, yet I still hate it. I could only imagine how much worse it must have been for Victor, who’s used to always being the strong one.

After a few minutes he quieted, and I thought he might’ve been falling asleep, but then he opened his eyes wide and stared straight at me. I could tell he was struggling to focus on my face. His expression was like that of someone afraid of heights who’d been forced to the edge of a sheer cliff, and I wished desperately that there was something I could do to pull him back from the threshold of that abyss.

“I’m scared,” he said, his voice diminished by his tears. “Angry and disappointed, and… I don’t know. Stupid for wrecking everything.”

“You’re not stupid.”

What else would you call it, when this whole mess is my own fault?“

"It’s not your fault. "I reached out and began to stroke his hair again. "I know you’re angry and scared. It’s okay to feel like that.”

“No, it’s not.”

“I promise it is,” I said. “No one’s telling you you’re not allowed to be upset. You have every right to feel the way you do. The hospital’s a scary place, and not being able to predict what will happen in the future is scary too.”

“I want things to go back to the way they were.”

“Me too,” I admitted. “I have to believe they will.”

“I want to, but I don’t think I can really believe they will, and…” He let the sentence drift away, unfinished. When he finally continued, his voice wavered a little. "I can’t live like that, being a burden to everyone.”

“You’ll never be a burden to me,” I assured him.

He sighed. “You won’t always say that.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Maybe in a few weeks or a month or two, you won’t mean it any more,” he said. “When you’re in pain and not feeling good, and you’re exhausted from doing stuff for me that I can’t do for myself, you’ll say I’m a burden.”

“Victor—”

“It’s not a criticism,” he said. “It’s just how it’ll be. We both know that.”

“If I can’t do everything, we’ll get someone else to help us,” I said. “We could—”

“Yuri, stop.”

“What?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said. “If nothing changes with my eyes, I’ll be useless. I won’t be able to look after myself or you. That’s it. There’s nothing more to say.”

“Maybe for the first little while you won’t be able to, but you can learn different ways to do things, and like I said, we can get someone else to help us.”

“No,” he said. “I’m not going to spend the rest of my life groping and shuffling around, and relying on somebody else to do stuff for me. I’d rather not even be around than to live like that.”

“Don’t say that.”

"Why not? It's how I feel. You said I'm entitled to feel however I want, and I feel like I'd have no life if this is permanent. Yeah, I'd be alive, but it wouldn't be living. It'd just be existing, and I'm not doing that."

"Victor, please. Don't talk that way. I know it's a lot, but you can still have a meaningful life without full vision, and I'll be by your side regardless of what happens, I promise."

"Don't," he said. "No more promises."

"I'm sorry. I only want to help you understand it's going to be okay."

“It's not going to be okay, and I don’t want to discuss it any more,” he said. “Anyway, whatever happens with me, you'll be fine. Your parents will make sure you’re all right.”

“But you—”

“I’m done talking about it.”

“Okay, you’re right,” I conceded. “We probably shouldn’t be trying to discuss this now. Do you want me to read to you, or put on some music?”

“No,” he said. “I just want to sleep.”

“Okay,” I agreed.

“What are you going to do?”

“I might go home and work for a few hours, and take the dogs for a walk," I said. "I’ll come back in time to help you with your lunch.”

“You’re not going to stay with me?”

“Should I stay and watch you sleep?” I inquired.

“I guess not,” he said. “It’s just… I hate it here, and if you’re not going to take me home, then I feel like staying with me so you’re still here when I wake up is the least you can do.”

“You know I’d take you home right this minute if the doctor said I could.”

“Just tell her you’re doing it," he said. "She can’t force me to stay.”

“That’s true, but you know she has a good reason for keeping you here this long," I pointed out.

“What does she expect?” he demanded. “I can’t walk if I can’t see. If I’m going to be an invalid, I might as well be comfortable in my own bed, right?”

I could have argued that such an assertion was absolutely silly. There are loads of people with low vision walking around independently and confidently every day. As a matter of fact, there was a guy in my friend group in school with low vision. As far as I know, he can only see light and colour from one eye, and has just barely enough vision in the other to read large print, but not only did this guy do nearly everything the rest of us did, he was also an accomplished flute player and he was obsessed with mountain climbing. For most of us, the highlight of our final year of high school was graduation. For Tatsu Yamashiro, the crowning moment of final year was an epic climb to the summit of Arashiyama.

It wouldn’t have done any good to tell Victor any of that, though.

“What is it going to take to motivate you?” I asked.

He didn’t answer me for several seconds, and I tried to guess whether he was thinking about it or whether he was deliberately ignoring me. After what felt like a full minute or more, he said, “I want my mom.”

“All right,” I said. “Do you want to call or FaceTime with her? Your phone’s here.”

“FaceTime,” he echoed, sounding as incredulous as if I’d asked him to do something outrageous, like fighting a snow leopard with his bare hands. “FaceTime? How the hell am I even supposed to use my phone, much less try to see my mom on FaceTime?”

“I’ll help you use your phone,’ I said. "You can still talk, and she might like to see you.”

“Just call her yourself and tell her I need her,” he said. “Ask her to come here, if she can. I know it’s a big ask and she probably can’t do it, but she’s the only one who…” Evidently realizing he was about to say something that was probably going to be hurtful to me, he stopped abruptly. “Sorry.”

Against my better judgment, my mind leapt to fill in the rest of the sentence. She’s the only one who I trust enough to take care of me. She’s the only one who doesn’t expect anything from me. She’s the only one who never lets me down.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said, but my tone rang hollow, even to me.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, and then quietly, “See? I am messing up everything.”

Contradicting him again would’ve been pointless. Instead, I said, “I’m sure your mother will come to take care of you. Is there anything else you want me to tell her?”

“I don’t know. I can’t even think right now. My head hurts,” he said. “I want to go to sleep and stop trying to deal with any of this. It’s too much.”

“Okay,” I said. “Do you want me to stay?”

“No,” he said. “You can go. It’s fine.”

But of course it wasn’t fine. We both knew that. “I won’t leave you if you don’t want me to.”

“Go. There’s nothing else you can do here. Like you said, it’d be dumb and pointless to sit around and watch me sleep when you could be working.”

“That isn’t what I said.”

“Get out of here and do something productive with the rest of your day,” he said. “The rest of your week. Come back when the doctor says she’s discharging me. Or not. Whatever you want.”

“If you’re sure—”

“Yuri, just… get the hell out of here before one of us loses it, okay? You’ve obviously got better things to do than to hang around here and pretend you understand what I’m going through. You can’t possibly get how it feels to realize you wrecked your whole life with one stupid choice.”

But, I did know. I do know.

I left the hospital feeling guilty, as if I’d abandoned Victor, although he was the one who’d asked me to leave. At the same time, I was reproaching myself for feeling hurt over what had transpired between us in his room. I should have realized it would come to this point eventually.

Even now, when I’m stronger than he is, Victor won’t allow me to be the person he leans on. I’m willing to do whatever is necessary, but despite everything, it seems that he doesn’t want my help and doesn’t trust me to look after him. I suppose we’ve established a pattern in our relationship by now, though, and he’s always going to see me as weak and unreliable, so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised.

The worst part is, I only have myself to blame because I’ve never been able to adequately communicate to him how much I love him and want to take care of him. No matter how many times I say it, and no matter what I do, it’s never been enough to convince him. Maybe I should’ve tried to be more self-sufficient during my own periods of illness, fought harder to function through the pain and tried to do my share instead of letting him do everything for me. Perhaps that would’ve proved that my intentions have never been only to take without giving in return, and that I am indeed capable of giving in full measure.

I can’t cry. As desperate as I am to release everything inside me, years of conditioning are keeping me from it, even when I’m by myself. I expect I’ll reach a breaking point eventually, but I guess I haven’t gotten to it yet, and who will be there to comfort me when I do? Not Victor. I can’t go to him with my troubles like I normally would. He has way more than enough of his own.

The irony isn’t lost on me that the only person in the world besides my mother, whom I trust enough to lower all my personal barriers with, doesn’t seem to have even a fraction as much trust in me.

How could he say he loves me, and yet not trust me? As I walked across the snow-dusted hospital parking lot to the sanctuary of my car, a malicious little voice in the back of my mind whispered that my initial instincts had been correct. I’ve never been worthy of anything I craved, it said. I was inadequate, undependable, unlovable.

No, that’s not true! I wanted to scream at that horrible, anxiety-filled part of my brain. Of course Victor loves me. He wouldn’t have come halfway around the world and given up all his former plans and dreams for someone he didn’t love. He wouldn’t stay with me and tend to all my needs and be so patient and gentle with me if I weren’t important to him.

Then it occurred to me that his lack of trust must be due to something else. If it isn’t about how much he loves me, I reasoned that it must stem from a question of how much he thinks I love him.

There’s no way to define the depth of my love for Victor. He cared about me when I didn’t even care about myself, and rescued me from a life so empty of joy and light that I’d actually considered ending it. He taught me how to trust, how to have faith in others, and how to love unconditionally and without restraint. He taught me what safety and happiness feel like. I would do anything for him. I’d move Arashiyama itself if I could, if I thought it would make any difference.

The idea that he might somehow doubt my devotion to him is crushing, but I can’t blame him. It’s on me for not doing more or saying more to demonstrate it. And at the moment he’s frightened, confused and angry, and in no frame of mind to listen or be rational. He’s not going to believe anything I tell him now.

It’s not Victor who’s messed up everything. It’s me.

[dewyatt]

A Musing On LKW #6-7

I'd proposed over on Reddit that this dream reality or whatever it is isn't someplace that whoever attacked Laura at the end of #5 put her in, but something her own mind is creating to try keeping her alive because the attack caused some real damage. The people that appear in it — Logan, Gabby, Emma, Kamala, and Julian — are people that she subconsciously hears around her at her bedside, and her mind is inserting them into this reality she's constructed (though Xavier doesn't really fit because of X-Manhunt). This could explain why Sarah still died and Laura blames herself for it, because I can't imagine a scenario where Laura wouldn't imagine the perfect life including a chance to be with her mother.

One of the responders made an interesting point:

Usually in these sorts of plots, the villain puts the hero through the dream world/simulation to try to trick them. Either they're using it as a form of interrogation to get the hero to reveal some important information they wouldn't ordinarily give up, try to get them to do something they ordinarily wouldn't do, or to outright brainwash them.

However, look at what the characters in Laura's dream world are doing:

They're trying to help her.

Laura is, without question, a very traumatized young woman. She's a survivor of horrific physical and emotional abuse. She's by any definition a rape victim. She has a long history of self-harm, poor self-esteem, or sense of autonomy. She continues to grieve over Sarah's death, and even as late as All-New Wolverine there's a sense she still feels guilt and shame over it.

Emma was able to torment her with visions of Sarah blaming her. It was a major source of grief in Target: X, and even played a major role in the Orphans of X arc in ANW.

And Sarah's death provides the focal point of Laura's dream world.

In the dream, rather than dying in a trigger scent-induced rage, Sarah is killed in a car accident in which Laura was the driver. The entire dream is constructed around Laura's guilt and self-blame, in which her death led to an emotional spiral where Laura began to withdraw from reality because she was unable to process her grief. Just like in the books; Sarah's death was an instigating factor in the sequence of events that ultimately led to her being reduced to a barely-functional shell of a human being under Zebra Daddy's control.

Laura also has a long history of self-harm, manifesting in cutting herself with her claws, or a destructive disregard for her own safety. She allows Rahne to nearly tear her to shreds in X-Force because Logan reinforced her own belief her life held no value. She nearly committed suicide upon being infected by the Legacy Virus because she felt her life didn't matter. It led to considerable conflict with Warren in ANXM.

This propensity for self-harm appears in the dream, as well. In this case, Laura became so lost in her "stories" she believes she really could heal from anything, (itself a potential response to the survivor's guilt of wondering why she survived when her mother died) and actually hurt herself in an attempt to prove it.

Now, consider the behavior of Logan and Gabby. Logan tries to assure her that she's not to blame for Sarah's death. They both express concern over Laura's past attempt to harm herself, to the point of not allowing her to close her door (which itself could have numerous meanings; from preventing a scenario where Laura could do something worse to herself, to representing Laura's tendency of shutting everyone out rather than accept the support of her friends and loved ones) and running interference on several occasions where Laura performs the sort of reckless acts that often led to her being injured in the "real" world.

Doctor Xavier and Doctor Frost are also concerned with her well-being. While we, as readers, know that Laura being the hero Wolverine aren't just a story she made up in her head, in the context of the dream their observations of her mental state are quite justified.

So this isn't a villain trying to manipulate Laura for some purpose. This is her own psyche trying to work her through the things she's been struggling with. She's trying to tell herself she's loved.

[ghostieeeee]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟗: 𝟓𝟎 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐎𝐒

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

Word count: 352

Warnings: none

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

The library was a sanctuary of your own mind. So crowded and yet so empty. Books pile against one another for support, carpeted floor stained from those who sneak food into these private walls. This was your safe haven during every break - and occasionally - after school for essay catch-ups. You rarely come here alone since being by yourself in this area felt off without at least Kazuha. However, as it appears, being here with someone new felt even weirder than being alone.

“So how far did you get with your part last night?”

You hum, looking up to the girl sitting beside you. “I only got a few more paragraphs done before my sister had to ruin my focus. Sorry” you offer Haerin a shy smile, so which she faintly reciprocates.

“It's fine. We still have plenty of time to complete this. I'm basically always free so please use my number when you feel like you need my help on anything or if you want to meet up to discuss anything”

“Thank you, Haerin. I honestly don't know how well I'd be coping if I had anyone else as my partner”

Haerin takes a moment to hum, nodding “honestly, me too. Getting someone - anyone else from that class just seems like such a nightmare waiting to happen”

“Especially the louder ones”

“Everyone in that class is loud” she grins, knowing she was in a place of being purely correct. “I probably would've just done all the work myself to prevent the migraine of having anyone else in that class run my head along the walls about being confused”

You laugh lightly, trying to remain quiet for those who came to focus, much like you and Haerin. Although, it's quite apparent there wasn't a whole lot of focusing going on between you two, but that hadn't stopped you from slowly progressing through paragraph after paragraph of carefully constructed sentence after sentence.

Somehow, time passed faster than you could've ever anticipated, and with it, came a time for Haerin to leave. Your farewells fell short, and soon enough, you were alone in the library.

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

: Dating in a high school full of love thirsty teenagers was never really something you wanted. But of course, things change- and you learnt that in more ways than one. Kim Minji, one of the more popular students. Hong y/n, probably the most invisible person alive. They couldn't possibly be dating… or maybe they could be? You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 | 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ✄-----------------------------------------

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: [𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍]

@jeindall777 @kazuhatheloml @thefckghost @everydayiloveyves @nasyu-kookies @justdelulumeh @ehcyps @iloevroacksand @winteresss @haechansbbg @minjiluv3r @idkwhatim-doinghere101 @imahallucination11 @sserajeans @lesleepyyy @jennasluma @kaypanaq @kingfellshort @pandafuriosa60 @haexrin07 @awkwardtoafault @huhyunjinwifey @haerinkisser @ivers01 @julian-han @honestlysana @impossiblesharkcashrebel @nnewjeansstuff

[themushroomgoesyeet]

For the first installment of this series, let's start with something easy!

Arcana characters as Disney princesses/princes

Julian - Flynn Rider/Eugene

These two are so similar istg

Dashing, dramatic, swashbuckling rogues with dry humor and a secret, insecure soft side?

The only difference between them is one is ginger with an eye patch and the other isn't

Honestly Eugene would probably be a good pick for a voice hc tbh

Oh hey they're both orphans with big brother vibes too look at that

Asra - Elsa

White hair? Check. Water-related magic? Check. orphans? Check. Unconditional fashion style that doesn't really match everyone else but still looks drop-dead gorgeous regardless? Check

Both of them also have familial abandonment issues and feel the need to isolate themselves from the people they love instead of confronting the problem smh

I will admit their romantic interests are a bit different, with Asra being bisexual and Elsa either being a lesbian or aro/ace at best

Both of them have also been described to have seductive singing voices 👀

Nadia - Princess Jasmine

We👏stan👏 headstrong 👏 independent 👏 middle eastern- inspired👏queens👏here👏

Ngl Jasmine is one of my favorite Disney princesses & she & Nadia would definitely hit it off

Both feel stuck in their respective lives while also wanting to rule, and try to take action for themselves whenever they can

Also both of them would look absolutely stunning in an outfit swap

Muriel - Hercules

Honey you mean HUNK-ules

I know Hercules isn't technically a Disney prince but he fits Muriel too well

Big and strong but shy and genuine at heart? Hell yeah

Their reactions to fame are a little bit different but they are the same when it comes to falling in love; both are so gentle and genuinely caring, and can't stop gushing about their partner

Also amazing idols for how men are supposed to treat women - a.k.a with respect

Both have a heathy amount of respect for their partners modesty (even when said partner is trying to seduce them on purpose), as well as their partners autonomy to make their own decisions

Not to mention they both have estranged families that they didn't know about, and a supportive animal companion

Portia - Rapunzel

I know some of you might be thinking "why not Merida? They look so alike with their frizzy mop of ginger hair!" Well, dear chat, let me explain

While they may look similar, Portia and Merida do not act similar. Merida is rebellious, headstrong, and airheaded, fighting her loved ones on everything and doing what she wants regardless of the consequences until said consequences come back to bite her in the butt. Portia on the other hand, while also headstrong, is spunky, kind, and takes others feelings and opinions into account instead of doing the first daring thing that comes into her head

Which brings me to Rapunzel. Admittedly, Rapunzel is a lot more sheltered and inexperienced about the world than Portia was but they are still kindred spirits. Curious, spunky, headstrong, kind, compassionate, and unafraid to fight for themselves.

They're ready to take on the world even if they don't know enough about it

Both also have evil and manipulative family members (ik Mother Gothel isn't Rapunzel's family; she was still the one who raised Rapunzel & Rapunzel considered her family long enough for it to count in this situation)

Both also meet love interests who guide them through the part of the world that's unknown to them, be it magic for Portia or the world as a whole for Rapunzel

Lucio - Merida

remember all those traits I listed for Merida? Yeah Lucio fits those

Merida and Lucio may be hella good warriors, but boy are they stupid sometimes

Both also have mommy issues™

Both are also wildly inexperienced with magic and should really be more cautious about it

Both just go "oopsies" and expect everything to be fine because of their status when it's never fine

Can you tell yet that these two bother me lol

Both were brought up in a Scottish-sounding culture and you can't change my mind

[themarysuep]

As someone who's only read the original Ms Marvel run (yeaaars ago) but enjoyed it a lot, I've really appreciated seeing a Kamala fan's pov on NYX, I feel like that can get lost a lot in the noise of original NYX/New X-Men fans.

To me, it seems like a complete and total mismatch of characters compared to the legacy of the title, and some incredibly ham-fisted ways of dealing with issues like islamophobia. I just still can't believe I saw a panel like that in a marvel comic in this day and age.

Is there anyway back to reconcile Kamala's character with the rest of the NYX cast who've mostly had the benefit of having history together? I feel like it'll backfire and just look bad on everyone involved. Also ur ask button, reminds me of zara sa jhoom loon main from ddlj :D

Ohmygosh I love that my ask button made you think about zara se jhoom loon. 😭 I was going for pucho zara pucho from Raja Hindustani lol. This one.

Yeah, I'm glad x-men fans are willing to sort of embrace Kamala. The thing is, very few comic writers have the ability to understand Kamala, or care to. L & K definitely fall into that category. They're just really tone deaf.

NYX doesn't necessarily feel like Kamala is the odd one out despite this team all knowing each other prior to current events. Which kind of adds to the writers being pretty bad. Kamala is the one bringing them together. Laura barely has any personality in this series. As always, Kamala is the heart of the team. I don't even think Sophie particularly cares about anyone except Kamala. Her only interest in rescuing Julian comes from this annoying narrative that mutants are the most important and most discriminated against group. This is weird AF because this comic also tries to normalize discrimination against real minority groups. The whole series is also trying way too hard to be political and use metaphors. At its core its two white men writing a desi-Muslim girl they cannot understand. They need to tone down the politics and write a superhero comic, or let actual minorities write.

NYX does have potential in allowing Kamala to explore new things and new people, which I love. She cannot be stuck with Bruno, Miles and Sam forever. I support Marvel pushing that she's moving on. If people are truly Kamala fans, they'll embrace that. Kamala's newest mini series also explored that. They were a solid 10/10 and I rec checking them out.

Honestly, I don't know if there's any hope for this series. It could get worse as the next issue will deal with the fallout of the brown-Muslim-terrorist-cousin thing. While simultaneously glorifying what Julian did to Kamala. I don't think thats fair. I guess we'll see.

Happy Valentines Day 💝.

[akingnotaprincess]

Fic: By Design (chapter 1)

Read on AO3

Author: @akingnotaprincess

Fandom: Star Trek TNG, Star Trek DS9

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Julian Bashir/Data

WC overall: 63,264

WC this chapter: 4.9k

Notes: This has been my baby for a long time. What started out years ago to be 4,000 words max has blossomed into the longest fic I've ever written.

By Design wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the love and support I've gotten from everyone on the 30+ Fanfic discord server. I can't thank you enough. I don't think I've done a dedication before, but this one is for all of you. ♥

Many thanks to changeableLandscape for beta-ing the entire fic.

Summary, overall: When Jules is born there is a name over his heart. That's not unusual since there's always an age difference between soulmates. After all, the names appear at the exact moment when the other half is born—down to the millisecond. The odd part of Jules' mark is the name itself. Only one word—Data. What is that supposed to mean? What kind of name is that? It's not even a proper name. His soulmate isn't a Liam, or a Noah, or a Sophia or an Evelyn—something normal. No, the one who matches Jules' soul goes by Data.

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Data does not understand this need that humans have to be with one's soulmate, even though he has one himself. The name, Jules Subatoi Bashir, appeared over where a human heart would be, three years after being activated. It is a particular signature—very sloppy with embellished loops—like it had been written in some sort of hurry. He keeps the mark to himself, finding that it is no one else's concern. It is unimportant, and would only serve as a distraction to his work and life.

Snippet: "Then why'd you stop? We're at the part where Sherlock goes ah-ha!" Geordi snaps his fingers and points one of the fingers in the air—Data recalls that it's a common knowledge sign for a lightbulb—noun. informal a moment of sudden inspiration, revelation, or recognition.

Data tilts his head, quickly going through his database to read all of the Sherlock Holmes novels and short stories. "Nowhere do the words ah-ha appear in any of the fifty-six short stories or four novels." He barely pauses so Geordi does not have time to reply. "My apologies for freezing the program," Data says. "But I have something to ask you that has been on my mind as of late. I find that I am having difficulty fully engaging in the story because of it."

"Something is bothering you that much? What is it?" Geordi takes off his bowler hat and tosses it onto one of the wingback chairs of Holmes' study. "What's so important?"

"Geordi…" Data takes a moment to pause to think of the correct way to word his question since it seems that everyone took offense to how he phrased it before. Perhaps it is best to get to the reason he is asking, rather than the question itself. "Geordi," he announces to get his friend's attention. "I believe that I have a soulmate."

Geordi has been leaning against the mantle of the great fireplace, yet when Data spoke the word 'soulmate', his friend somehow manages to slide his elbow along the ledge, then relays what is happening, and proceeds to almost fling himself in the opposite direction and falls on his rear. Data bends at the waist and helps Geordi to his feet. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah" his friend assures him. "Nothing hurt besides my pride."

"You hurt your pride? But how—?"

"I'll explain it later. Data," Geordi's voice softens its tone in the way he does when inquisitive and trying to understand. "I must have not heard you correctly. Did you say that you have a soulmate?"

Data nods the affirmative.