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mel-the-fangirl · 4 years ago

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Toss A Coin to Your Witcher

Henry Cavill x Reader

Words: 2,362

I am so so so nervous to post this because this is my first time writing a Henry fic and I know that the Henry Cavill fandom is such a tightknit family, I hope you guys have room for one more hopeless Henry stan. I know this isn’t even half as good as the other Henry fics out there but I had this idea stuck in my head for a very long time.

Please like and reblog or leave me some replies if I should do a second part! Thank you!

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The makeup brush swept precisely along your cheekbone, covering it in a subtle shimmer. Production staff milled around behind you, testing sound, testing lights. Being an actor, these things were nothing new.

"Now remember, say it with me,"

"Don't say or do anything stupid." you recited with your long time agent and friend, Marge.

You thanked the makeup artist and made your way to the set.

"When have I ever said or done anything stupid though?" you asked

Marge looked at you appraisingly before replying,

"There's always a time for everything. Now go on."

The vibe on set dialled to a hundred when you stepped on. It was really flattering how they cheered as you plonked your butt down on the wooden chair, a red tarp was set up behind you and the studio lights surrounded the area.

"Ready when you are Y/N!" the producer aka the ring leader of this whole operation flashed you a thumbs up

You nodded, feeling the nervousness bubble up your throat.

Surprise, surprise. You still got nervous in front of the camera. It wasn't hard to handle though, you took a couple of deep breaths and you were good to go.

"Hey guys, gals, and non-binary pals! I'm Y/N Y/L/N. I'm here with Buzzfeed and we're gonna be playing Twenty Questions." you winked at the camera with your arms wrapped around the little jar that had your questions in it

"Let's get started, shall we?"

Eager to begin, you stuck your hand into the jar without a second thought.

"I freaking love Buzzfeed, really. Especially Tasty, I mean, I don't cook. But," you shrugged, wiggling your fingers, hearing the tiny bits of folded paper move around in the jar. "I love watching people cook. Then I love eating."

Scattered chuckles broke out through the crew.

After a few minutes of rustling around, you figured you’d just come clean, "Okay. Small problem."

You lifted your hand, the jar coming along with it. The pieces of folded paper crowding around your encased wrist as you waved your arm.

Another round of shocked giggles started up as a couple of assistants rushed to you and tried to yank the jar off.

"This is too good," the producer chortled, "Mind if we keep this in?"

"Fine by me!" you watched intently as Marge rolled up your sleeve so one assistant could pour oil all over it. Eagle eyed, she watched as a drop of oil landed on the bottom hem of your sweater.

"Great job, Y/N. This sweater was a gift from that designer you met last week, he said he made it just for you." she scolded, taking charge by grabbing the jar with two hands

"It was an accident, Marge. It's not like I planned on getting my hand stuck in a jar today!"

With a tug and a pop, your hand was free and slick with olive oil. Marge landed on her butt on the floor.

"Marge!" you howled with laughter, helping her up

She straightened her blouse, all business but her cheeks were stained red with embarrassment.

"Can someone help Y/N wash the oil off her hands? Let's get this show on the road, people!" she barked marching orders at the staff, clapping her hands as she went. She wasn't in charge here but no one dared to question her.

You chuckled, knowing that this was a cute little anecdote you’d be sharing with anyone who was willing to listen.

A few minutes later, you were back in your chair, having a laugh with everyone. The jar incident already stripped away the majority of your anxiety so you were ready to go.

"Okay! First question!" you squinted at the strip of paper, "What is the most expensive thing you’ve stolen from any set you’ve been on?"

“Well!” you widened your eyes at the camera, “Bold of you all to assume that I’ve ever stolen anything!”

Marge scoffed rather audibly, making everyone raise their eyebrows at you.

“Okay, fine!” you held up your hand. The stunning ring you had on sparkled underneath the lights, nearly blinding anyone who looked.

“I did a period movie a while back and they had these drop dead gorgeous, and I mean gorgeous pieces of jewelry. I wore this piece,” you gazed down at the ring fondly, “for the whole of the film and I just pinched it after we wrapped, I couldn’t part with it, okay? I’m like a fricking magpie, I love shiny things.”

The crew burst into fits of laughter, making you laugh along with them.

“To clarify! This is the replica the props department had made, a very expensive replica. I can see you freaking out, Marge. And no, you don’t have to call the insurance company.”

You were a big hit, to say the least. You had them in stitches every time you opened your mouth but all good things had to come to an end, right?

It didn’t matter how carefully you dipped your hand into the question jar, this next one was going to make things very messy for you.

"What do you like to do in your free time?" you read out loud, tapping a finger against your chin

"There hasn't been much free time lately,” you chuckled, “Let’s see… I play video games, yeah. I am so obsessed with the Witcher, it's borderline unhealthy. I’ve read all the books and played the games so many times."

"What do you think of Henry Cavill as Geralt?" the producer asked you

Henry Cavill.

Just hearing that man's name was enough to make the blood rush to your cheeks. You brushed an imaginary hair out of your face. From behind the camera, Marge raised a knowing brow.

"Well," you cleared your throat and sat up straighter

"To be honest, at first I was really skeptical about his casting. I mean, he is way too good looking. Like way. Way. Too good looking. But…"

"But?"

Your mind drifted to the first time you saw a picture of Henry Cavill in full costume. The white hair, the golden cat eyes, the intense gaze and all that leather? It definitely made you feel… Certain things.

You cleared your throat, propping yourself on the table with your arms. To be honest, your head was still in a Henry Cavill haze so you had zero control of what came out of your mouth next.

"I'd definitely toss all my coins to that Witcher. Toss a few other things as well."

Everyone in the room ooh'ed and whistled, delighted by your saucy reply. The ruckus snapped you out of it and your hand immediately flew to your mouth.

“Please tell me I didn’t just say that out loud.”

“You did.” Marge mouthed at you, trying but failing to contain her laughter

"So you enjoyed his performance as Geralt?" the producer pressed on, hoping to get more audience-raking answers

How many times were you going to blush during this interview?

"Oh, well, about that, I haven't really gotten around to actually watching it.” you admitted sheepishly, “But I've seen photos and some clips. Very impressed by what I've seen so far."

"You will watch it though, right?"

"Oh, absolutely. No way I’d miss out on that! Henry Cavill is an incredibly wonderful, talented actor. I think he’s also a fan of the franchise so I have no doubt that he played Geralt to perfection as with all his other roles." you nodded solemnly, putting a hand to your heart

Everyone in the room with you caught on that you were gushing over the actor, the sly looks they all exchanged with one another were a dead giveaway. Too bad you didn’t notice before you could try and play it cool.

“Alright! I think it’s time for the next question!” you declared, swiftly plucking another question out of the jar

By the time it was all over, you had convinced yourself that your little crush-related blunder wasn’t even a big deal, it would probably just be a little footnote in that video. No biggie.

But, Jesus Christ were you wrong.

The video took a couple of weeks to edit and in that time, you were busier than ever. A movie you had just done was getting a lot of attention, your performance in particular had critics singing your praises. At that point, you were definitely getting noticed a lot more when you stepped out for coffee.

So, the timing was just perfect.

The second the video went live, your phone was going off non stop. Twitter mentions, Instagram tags, and articles. A few notable entries being:

“WATCH: RISING STAR Y/N Y/L/N GUSHES ABOUT HENRY CAVILL IN CHARMING BUZZFEED VIDEO”

“@geraskier-rights: Y/N Y/L/N REALLY SAID SHE’D TOSS ALL HER COINS TO HENRY CAVILL’S GERALT AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS”

“@geralt-of-vengerberg: Y/N The Fond™ is showing👀👀👀”

Marge sat on your sofa with your phone in hand, absolutely thrilled while reading tweets out loud. You scheduled a panic session with her over lunch once everything blew up.

“Oh my God.” you groaned, massaging your temples. “Marge, what do I do?”

“About what?” she didn’t even bother to look up at you

You plopped yourself down next to her, laying your head in her lap, “All that. It’s everywhere.”

“And? There’s nothing wrong with it, they all think you’re charming and funny. A true Relatable Queen.”

Was it your sanity slipping through your fingers? Or the overpowering embarrassment? You had no idea but whatever it was, it had you laughing until your stomach hurt.

Marge tugged at your hair, “Get it together, bitch. Jeez.”

“What are you so worried about anyway?” she asked, placing your phone on your stomach

You swiped through your emails absentmindedly, “I’m not worried about anything, it’s just that what if…”

You left the words hanging in the air, you might as well have been dangling from a cliff from how much colour drained from your face.

“What if what?”

Marge shoveled some pasta into her mouth before noticing that you essentially turned into a statue right next to her.

“Y/N!” she shook your arm with a grip you were sure would leave some bruises. “What’s the matter?”

Wordlessly, you passed your phone to her, the comment from a certain verified account displayed prominently on Buzzfeed’s Instagram post of a little snippet from your video, the “I’d toss all my coins to that Witcher” part, naturally.

“@henrycavill: Dear Y/N, how many coins are we talking about here? Let’s talk about my reward.”

It was all Marge could do to not throw your phone across the room. Her eyes went wide, following your every move as you paced back and forth, a thumbnail in your mouth.

“That did not just happen, I did not just see that right now. I didn’t.” you babbled, your heart beating thunderously in your chest

There it went. Your very own ticking time bomb finally went off. Number of casualties? Just one. You.

“Okay. Just calm down, Y/N.” Marge caught you mid-pace, squeezing your arms

“Maybe it was a fan account. Tell me it was a fan account, Marge. Henry Cavill did not just hear me imply what I implied.” you grasped at her hand with your clammy one

“Well if he has a fan account that’s verified and has fourteen point five million followers?”

“Oh god.” you groaned, sinking to the floor and hugging your knees

“Oh, Christ.”

Marge hauled you to your feet and thrust your phone in your hand. She looked you hard in the eye, “Stop your whining and answer him. You’re Y/N fucking Y/L/N, one of the hottest people on the planet, start acting like it.”

You stared at her, eyes wide. Your chest rose and fell rapidly. Marge’s words started to make sense in your mind and adrenaline started surging through your veins. You nodded fervently, psyching yourself up.

“Fuck yeah.” you breathed, clicking ‘Reply’

“@yourinstagram: @henrycavill I know you take orens, crowns, and florens but maybe we should discuss further?”

Before you could even stop yourself (did you even want to?), your fingers already landed on the blue paper plane.

“I did it.” you exhaled, staring as the likes and overly enthusiastic replies started pouring in

“Fuck yeah, you did. Now, come on. Leave your phone. We’re getting drunk.”

More weeks passed and you actually ended up forgetting about that little reply you left Henry Cavill. You were busier than ever. Guestings, endorsement deals, and awards shows left and right. So, when you finally had a couple of days free, you decided you would set up camp on your sofa and finally watch Henry Cavill as Geralt of Rivia.

You even threw on your Superman pyjamas, “What the hell.” you shrugged

If you were going down this road, you might as well do it right. Maybe you would even watch the Man from U.N.C.L.E after or would it be Night Hunter? The decision would have to wait.

You watched, absolutely riveted as the White Wolf battled against the kikimora, his silver sword hacked at the creature with unmatched expertise. You were only a few minutes in but you already knew you’d be stuck on that sofa for hours.

When the kikimora had Geralt pinned underwater with his trusty sword just beyond arm’s reach, you found yourself on the edge of your seat, one of your cushions in a chokehold.

“Come on, come on, come on.” you muttered as Geralt reached for his sword

You wouldn’t find out if he got it or not. A knock on your door literally made you fall off the sofa.

“Fuck!” you exclaimed, your hip was already smarting from the impact

Whoever that asshole was, you swore you were going to give him a piece of your mind. You stomped to your front door just as that idiot started knocking again.

You huffed and threw the door open then your mind immediately went blank.

“I am so sorry. Are you alright? I think I heard you fall?”

Oh yeah. You were definitely falling.

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You can find the second part here!

#henry cavill #geralt of rivia #the witcher #the man from uncle #night hunter #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill fic #henry cavill imagine #fanfiction #henry william dalgliesh cavill #cavillry

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dottielovegood · 3 years ago

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ASMR - Chapter 4

Elriel fanfiction

About this fic:

Azriel can’t sleep Elain has an ASMR channel Match made in heaven (or you know, on youtube..)

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You can find chapter 1 here, chapter 2 here and chapter 3 here

Read this fic on AO3

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The following week, Azriel read Elain’s messages too many times to admit. He had answered her that “meat banjo” was, indeed, a vile word, and after that, they hadn’t really talked or texted.

He had saved her number as “Elain”, which had felt weirdly private. As if they were friends, which they were not. He was just her friendly helper, and she was his remedy for nightmares.

However, even though they didn’t know each other, Azriel felt an odd sensation in his chest when he thought about her. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought that he was missing her, which was absurd. But the tight little knot in his chest felt very much like longing. He tried to tell himself that this was weird and stupid. He knew that he had a crush on her (even though he hated to admit it), but he could also see that it was a pointless crush. She was an internet sensation, he was a boring IT guy. She was light and happiness and flowers, he was dark and brooding. She made people smile, he made people uncomfortable. And then there was the practical side of things. They had met on the internet. She probably lived on the other side of the country. Hell, she could even live in a different country for all he knew. She might have a partner already - it’s not like he asked. And, last but not least, she probably didn’t have a crush on him.

Before talking to her on the phone, he had just thought that she was a pretty girl that deserved kindness. But after their phone call, he had definitely developed a crush. Which was another reason why he hadn’t texted her. He didn’t want to bother her and he didn’t want to have this crush. He wanted to stop feeling like this for a girl he would never see in real life. Yet, every night before bed, he found himself on her youtube page, watching one of her many videos.

She uploaded a new video to Youtube every Friday, so when Friday came around, Azriel was itching to get home so he could go to sleep (he told himself that he was looking forward to sleeping and not to seeing her face).

However, he had an entire workday to get through first. The office was mostly an open landscape and Azriel’s desk was next to Cassian’s. The only person with his own office was Rhysand, which was fair since he was the owner of the company. At two in the afternoon, Rhys poked his head out of his office.

“You guys are still coming for dinner this weekend, right?”

“Yeah,” Azriel and Cassian answered in unison.

“I told Feyre that I would help her with the food,” Azriel continued.

Rhys looked like he was going to kiss Azriel. “Oh, god. Thank you, man. I was scared that we would have to repeat the Christmas dinner,” he said and shuddered.

Feyre hated to cook and Rhys did most of the cooking at home, but for some inexplicable reason, she always wanted to cook for holidays or family dinners. To everyone’s dismay. Christmas had been no exception. She had burned the turkey, added salt instead of sugar to the dessert and somehow managed to buy the wrong berries for her cranberry sauce. Luckily, Rhys had been prepared and bought a few frozen pizzas and some ice cream, so the day wasn’t that much of a disaster, but nobody wanted to brave Feyre’s cooking again.

“Why don’t you just cook?” Cassian asked without looking up from his screen.

“You know that she kicks me out if I so much as go near the kitchen when we have these family dinners. And since she started the hormone treatment, she has been a bit bitchy when she gets mad, so I’ll just do whatever she says.”

Azriel chuckled. He could tell from Rhysand’s tone that Feyre had been more than “a bit” bitchy.

“I don’t understand why she lets Azriel help, though…”

“Maybe because she knows that I’ll tell her to sit down with a glass of wine and a magazine, and then she can take all of the credit for the food?”

“Fair enough.” Rhys shrugged. “Just burn the food a little bit, or it won’t be believable.”

Cassian snorted. “No one would believe that something edible was made by your wife. Sorry.”

“She does make a great green smoothie, though,” Rhys grinned and held up his glass.

Azriel and Cassian looked at each other and had to bite their tongues to keep from laughing. The smoothie looked vile and smelled even worse.

After a few more minutes of small talk, Rhys went back to his office for an important phone call. “See you on Saturday,” he reminded them before closing the door.

Azriel and Cassian worked in silence for the remainder of the day.

When Azriel came home that evening, he made a quick pasta carbonara to eat in front of the TV. He was re-watching New Girl. It was his comfort show and absolutely nobody knew that he watched it (and had watched it multiple times). He would take that information with him to the grave. But it was fun and cute and sometimes he liked to imagine his friends as characters in the show. Cassian was probably Schmidt, because Nesta was one hundred percent Cece. Feyre was Jess, which meant that Rhys was Nick. And then there was Azriel. He wanted to say that he was a very cool character, but most characters on this show weren’t cool, and also, he was definitely Winston. Alone with a cat - sounds about right , Azriel thought to himself as he finished his bowl of pasta.

When the episode ended he just waited for the next to start. He didn’t have any plans for the night and nowhere to be. His phone vibrated where he had left it on the kitchen counter. He ignored it, feeling too lazy to get up. But then it vibrated again. With a sigh, he got up. He expected to see a text from Mor telling him to bring wine tomorrow, or maybe a strange meme from Cassian. What he didn’t expect was to see Elain’s name on his screen.

He could feel his heart in his throat as he read her messages.

Elain Hey, Shadowsinger. I’m uploading a new video soon. You should watch it!

Elain I hope that message didn’t sound creepy? I just meant that I think you might like it.

Azriel’s hands were sweaty.

Azriel You didn’t sound creepy at all. Of course, I’ll watch your video. May I ask what I can expect from it?

Just seconds later, Elain answered.

Elain You can ask, but I might not tell ;)

Azriel Should I be worried?

Elain Haha, no! I think it turned out great. You were my inspiration :)

Azriel could feel himself blush. He had never been someone’s inspiration before.

Azriel So, I’m your muse? ;)

Oh god, was that too flirty? Was the winky-face too much? He wished that he could take back the message.

Elain For tonight, yes!

Azriel stared at his phone, unsure of what to answer. Luckily, Elain wrote to him again.

Elain What are you doing tonight?

Azriel Nothing. Just eating pasta and watching TV. How about you?

Elain That sounds amazing. I have been editing this video for hours so I’m just tired and cranky, haha. I have just ordered a pizza and I think I’ll just eat it in bed as soon as this video has finished uploading. What did you watch?

Azriel If I told you, I would have to kill you.

Elain Oh, intriguing! Is it trashy drama? I bet it’s Grey’s anatomy! Or maybe… Love Island?

Azriel stared at his phone. Did she really think that he would watch something like Love Island?

Azriel I watched New Girl, okay. Don’t tell anyone.

Elain Your secret is safe with me! Also, I love New Girl! Especially Winston!

It felt as if someone was squeezing Azriel’s heart.

Azriel Really? Which character would you be?

Elain My pizza is here so I am going to put all of my electronics in a different room and eat my pizza while reading a good book. It was great talking to you, Azriel! Please tell me what you thought of the video when you have watched it.

Elain Oh, and I would probably be Winston’s cat. lol

Azriel almost dropped his phone. If he had to be alone with a cat for the rest of his life, he would definitely want Elain to be his cat , he thought to himself. Which was a weird thing to think about someone you didn’t know. Azriel dropped his head to his kitchen counter and took a deep breath before replying.

Azriel It was great talking to you too, Elain. Enjoy your dinner and your book :)

She didn’t answer, but she didn’t have to. Azriel was going to be thinking about her for the rest of the night anyway.

30 minutes later, he got a notification telling him that Flower Girl ASMR had uploaded a new video. The video was called “ASMR for IT-guys”, which made him chuckle. He clicked the video and Elain’s beautiful face filled his screen again.

“Hello, my lovelies, lovelies, lovelies,” she whispered in her microphone. “This week’s video will be a bit different,” she continued, slowly moving her hands in front of the camera. “This video was inspired by my friend who recently helped me with some computer-related issues, issues, issues.”

Azriel loved it when she repeated words like that. And he liked that he somehow was a part of this video. It was something that connected them. Azriel paused the video and got into bed, knowing fully well that he would probably fall asleep soon if he kept watching this.

He pressed play again. “So, today, I thought that we would try a few computer-related triggers. I have a keyboard here,” she said and started typing on a keyboard that was out of view. “I thought that I would say a few trigger words while typing them.”

She smiled at the camera and pressed a few more keys. “I just wrote my friend’s name, but you won’t get to know who he is. But you know who you are. Thank you for your help!”

Azriel felt all warm inside.

She continued the video. “The first trigger word is IP address ”. Azriel laughed as she repeated the word multiple times while typing quickly.

“And then we have, laptop, laptop, laptop,” she continued, and Azriel felt shivers go down his spine when she popped the p’s.

Azriel had never thought that he would fall asleep to someone whispering “HTML coding” in his ears, but here he was. Relaxed and ready to sleep.

All thanks to Flower Girl ASMR.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

The next day, Azriel texted Elain that he had loved the video. He waited for hours, but no reply came. Maybe she just wanted to repay me for helping her? Azriel thought. Maybe she would stop talking to him now that he had seen the video.

The thought of never talking to Elain again made him feel a new kind of ache in his chest. An ache he didn’t want to feel. This stupid crush needs to end, he muttered to himself as he started to scrub his kitchen counter. He tried to ignore the feeling by keeping busy. He cleaned his apartment and did some laundry before heading over to his friends’ house.

Rhys greeted him by the door and ushered him inside.

“She started cooking like 15 minutes ago, please save whatever can be saved,” he whispered to Azriel. Azriel chuckled and made his way to the kitchen. On the way there, he passed the living room and stopped to greet his friends. He saw most of them on a daily basis because of work, but he was still happy to see them. Cassian and his fiancée Nesta sat close together on one of the green velvet couches. On the opposite couch sat Mor and Amren. Mor was one of the journalists at Velaris News, and Amren was an editor. They had known each other for years. Amren and Rhys had studied together at university, and Mor was Rhysand’s cousin. Once upon a time, Azriel had a crush on Mor. One night after one too many glasses at Rita’s he confessed his feelings to her and she had looked horrified. He had expected her to tell him that she didn’t fancy him and leave it at that, but instead, she had blurted “I like girls!”

Azriel was the first person she ever came out to, and he had felt honored. He also knew now that they wouldn’t have worked out together in the long run (even if Mor had been straight). They were just too different. She was energetic and outgoing and fun, he needed peace and quiet. But she was still one of his very best friends.

Amren on the other hand, he didn’t know as well. She had always been very private, but she was damn good at her job.

“Where’s Varian tonight?” Azriel asked Amren, trying to make small talk.

“How should I know?” she answered quickly. “I’m not his mother.”

Cassian stared at her. “But you are his girlfriend?”

She shrugged. “I don’t like to label things.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. Amren had lived with Varian for the past two years, but she was still reluctant to tell anyone about their relationship.

Azriel made his way into the kitchen, and from what he could tell, he made it just in time.

“What are you making, Feyre?” he asked, because truthfully, he couldn’t tell.

Feyre turned around quickly as if he had startled her. “Oh, hi Az,” she said and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand.

Something was burning.

“I was trying to make lamb chops with glazed carrots, roasted potatoes, and salsa verde, but…” she gestured to the stove, which looked like a disaster.

Azriel chuckled. “That’s ambitious.” He lifted the lid from one of the pots and could clearly see that she had overcooked the lamb 10 minutes ago. Also, why had she made them in a pot, and not a frying pan? It would be inedible.

The potatoes were still in the sink, unpeeled.

She gave him a strained smile. “Will you help me?”

“Of course.” Azriel put the grocery bag he had brought with him on the kitchen island. “On one condition.”

“Anything.” She sounded desperate.

“Please, for the love of god, let Rhys cook when we come over. You really don’t have to show off. You are good at many things, Feyre. But cooking is unfortunately not one of them.”

She nodded. “I know,” she sat down on one of the stools at the kitchen island and buried her face in her hand. “I just...I need to be able to cook when I become a mother.”

Azriel took her hand in his. “You really don’t. Nobody expect fathers to be good at cooking, so why should every mother be good at it? Honestly, just let Rhys cook while you play with the kids.”

She smiled at him. “That actually sounds amazing,” she sighed.

“Right?”

Azriel started to pull out some ingredients from the bag on the kitchen island. He held up the tomatoes and the spaghetti, “How about some pasta arrabbiata with burrata?”

“Sounds fancy.”

He shrugged. “Everything sounds fancier in a different language. It’s just pasta with a spicy tomato sauce, and burrata on top.”

“Whatever you make will probably be better than that mess,” she said and glanced towards the stove. Azriel couldn’t disagree.

“Probably,” he laughed and got to work. Azriel placed all the pots and pans in the sink and started chopping the vegetables for the sauce, and in just 30 minutes, dinner was served.

“You are my hero,” Feyre said and kissed his cheek as she carried the big bowl of pasta to the dining room.

Everyone had already gathered around the table, wine glasses in hand. As Azriel sat down, Mor poured him some wine.

“This looks amazing,” Nesta said and Cassian nodded in agreement.

“Thanks, Az helped a little,” Feyre said and winked at Azriel.

“Just a bit,” Azriel said and took a sip of wine.

The conversation (and wine) flowed freely, as it always did. Cassian and Nesta told them about their wedding plans, Mor gushed about Emerie, a girl she was dating, and Feyre told them about life as a high school art teacher. Azriel would never understand how anyone could choose to spend their days with teenagers, but Feyre loved it.

After two bottles of wine, Nesta and Mor were in an argument about which animal was the cutest.

“No, I am telling you, Sloths are cuter than any animal ever,” Mor exclaimed. “Have you seen their dopey little faces?”

“Sloths? Really?” Nesta looked at her as if she had suggested that the sky was green. “Red pandas are way cuter! They are cute and cuddly, Sloths just look like every single stoner I went to high school with.”

They had been at it for 10 minutes, which Azriel found to be quite impressive.

“Can you both just shut up?” Amren gritted out. “The cutest animals are koalas. They’re even cute when they fight. I am right, you are wrong. Please stop this meaningless discussion before I die from boredom.”

Nesta and Mor looked at Amren, and then at each other.

“We obviously have to see Koalas fight if you want us to end this conversation,” Mor said.

Nesta nodded. “Obviously. Give me your phone, Az,” she said and reached for his phone.

“Why do you need my phone?”

“Because mine is dead and yours is right there on the table. Also, your screen is big and we need to watch this in full HD, for obvious reasons.”

Azriel huffed a laugh, unlocked his phone, and handed it to Nesta.

She clicked the Youtube app, and then her face fell. She looked at Azriel as if he was an alien, and then she showed the phone to Cassian who looked at him with the same facial expression.

What the hell had they found?

He didn’t have anything weird on his phone. And he sure as hell didn’t watch porn on it.

“What?” Azriel asked, and Nesta turned the phone.

Fuck. The last video he had watched was still loaded on Youtube, and of course, it was Elain’s latest video.

“What the hell is this?” Nesta asked, almost looking angry.

Azriel didn’t understand why she found ASMR so wrong, but he desperately wanted to explain himself.

“Well, it’s ASMR. It’s kind of… well, it’s hard to explain, but it helps me sleep and– “

Nesta interrupted him before he could finish. “I know what ASMR is. I am wondering why you are watching Elain?”

Azriel stared at Nesta in shock. Did she also like Elain’s videos? But that wouldn’t explain the anger and confusion.

“Do you...know her?” Azriel asked.

“Yes, we went to university together. She’s our florist for the wedding. She was the florist at their wedding, too,” Nesta answered and gestured towards Rhys and Feyre. “Surely you have met her?”

Azriel could do nothing but shake his head in confusion. If he had ever met Elain, he would have known. You didn’t forget a face like hers.

“Please tell me you’re not stalking her like some creep, Az. Honestly, her last boyfriend was the world’s biggest asshat.”

“I’m not stalking her,” Azriel blurted out. “I’m just watching her videos to fall asleep, I promise. I– I didn’t know that you knew her.”

Nesta eyed him suspiciously. “So, is this just a coincidence?”

He nodded. “Weirder things have happened,” he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Nesta glanced at Cassian, and then back at Azriel. “Fine,” she said after a small eternity. “You would probably be cute together anyway. Sorry for insinuating that you would be a stalker.” She really did look remorseful. “That wasn’t fair. I’m just very protective of her. She’s the nicest girl, but she has horrendous taste in men.”

Azriel couldn’t answer, because his mind was still stuck on the fact that Nesta said that they would be cute together. He wanted to ask Nesta why she thought that. He kind of also wanted to ask her if Elain lived here in Velaris, and what her favorite movie was, and if she, by any chance, had a boyfriend. But he refrained, he didn’t want to sound like a stalker.

“So, what the fuck is ASMR?” Cassian asked. “Is it like porn?”

Before Azriel could answer, Rhys said “It’s like porn for your ears, I guess,” and then the entire table was laughing.

“Nesta,” Feyre said when the laughter had died down. “Does Elain still have that cute, little shop on River Street?”

“Mhm,” Nesta answered and took a sip of her wine.

Azriel could kiss Feyre for asking. And if he wasn’t mistaken, he could see her wink in his direction before raising her water glass to her lips.

Azriel walked home that evening with a million thoughts in his head.

He made a list in his head:

Elain lived in Velaris

River Street was literally a 10-minute walk from his home.

Nesta thought that they would be cute together

This meant nothing

She probably didn’t even like him back

Just because they were in the same city, it didn’t mean that they would ever meet.

This was still just a crush

And it was probably one-sided

She hadn’t even answered his latest text message.

And as if on cue, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

Elain I’m sorry that I didn’t answer you earlier. I’ve been at work all day. We had a leak in the basement and everything was just chaos. I haven’t even checked my phone until now.

He mentally scratched number 9 from his list.

Azriel No worries! Did you fix the leak?

Azriel checked the time on his phone: 23.30

Had she dealt with this leak until now?

Elain Yes! But so many flowers were ruined (I’m a florist) and I had to remake a few arrangements for a wedding that’s coming up.

Elain I’m sorry. You probably don’t care. I’m happy that you liked the video :)

Azriel wanted to tell her that he did care. That everything she said was interesting to him. He would probably even find her Starbucks order fascinating. But that bordered on stalker behavior.

Azriel Again, no worries! Sometimes when you’ve had a bad day, you just need someone to vent to.

Elain Exactly! Thank you for letting me vent :) This day is finally over!

There was a selfie attached to the last message.

Elain was standing in front of a big window surrounded by flowers. She was wearing a white, oversized shirt and her hair was in a messy bun. She looked tired but happy. She was giving him ‘thumbs up’ in the photo and through the window, he could see the Sidra. They were indeed in the same city. It made him both happy and nervous.

Elain Sweaty but happy to be heading home :)

Azriel received that last message when he walked through the door to his apartment. What the hell was he supposed to answer?

But then he thought back to Nesta’s words.

You would probably be cute together.

So he took a deep breath and gathered all his courage.

Azriel You still look beautiful though

He stared at his phone. Would she answer? Would she block him? Would she tell him to stop being a creep?

Elain Thank you :) What do you look like? I might have forgotten ;)

Okay. That was flirty. Even Azriel could tell that that was a flirty text message, and he was usually oblivious to such things. He quickly walked to his bathroom (it was the room with the best lighting). He checked his shirt (no stains) and mussed with his hair.

“Good enough,” he muttered, and snapped a selfie.

Before he could chicken out, he sent it to her.

Within seconds, he received a reply.

Elain Beautiful!

#elriel #elriel fanfic #acotar fanfiction #acotar #elain x azriel #elain archeron #azriel x elain #azriel

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harrysgloves · 4 years ago

Text

Three’s Company

Harry Styles x Reader x Florence Pugh

Story Summary: The relationship of Harry Styles, Florence Pugh, and Y/N are kept under wraps... until it all falls apart.

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Language // Angst

Authors Note: Please ignore the fact I’ve had writters block for over a month... Hope this is at least (semi) close to what you wanted anon! I kind of been carried away in daydreams of a poly relationship with Harry and Florence lately... xx

>>>Kind of a continuation of this fic<<< (Not necessary to read first)

PART TWO

>>><<<

"Come on." Harry breathed out the words onto your skin. His lips pressed against the smooth sensitive velvet of your inner legs. "Jus' wanna make yeh feel good, baby."

"I gotta go." You whined, your head pressed down into your pillow on his bed as you pouted up at the ceiling. It was 11:32 and you had exactly 28 minutes until you needed to be across town for this dumb lunch you promised your friends you'd show up to.

"Only need five minutes." He smirked into your skin. Playful green eyes shot up from between your legs when you out a huff.

"Shut up." You mumbled, your legs snapped closed as you tried to roll out of his oversized bed. His long, lanky, arms around your waist trying their best to stop you from leaving.

"Wait!" He pouted, his head rested on your shoulder.

"Harry." You groaned, your head leaned back as your feet dangled off the bed, inches away from the floor, and towards the plans, you were starting to regret making for the day.

"Sweetheart, 've missed yeh." His calloused hands wandered down your waist, under the shirt you'd stolen from his closet for your impromptu nights stay.

You were starting to wonder why you even bothered having an apartment of your own when those fucking hands started soothing motions on your breast. Rough fingers swirling your nipples into a hard peak.

Your soft sigh floated through the air as his lips curled against your neck. You could tell he thought he won this time, his gloating smirk, a self-satisfied hum drifting from that damn mouth that you simultaneously wanted to smack and grind against. He always knew how to do this, he managed to find all your weak spots in less than a month.

The bastard.

"You two always start without me." The voice of your girlfriend broke through that foggy haze of lust in your mind. You jumped away from Harry. Your bare feet hit the floor with a loud slap.

"Ugh." Harry groaned as he slammed back into the soft mattress, his eyes glared at Florence. "Now she's gonna leave."

"What? No…." She drew out in a whine. Perfectly pink lips pouted at you from the corner of Harry's bed.

"I promised them I'd go this time." You mumbled as you tossed articles of clothing that didn't belong to you across the room.

You three needed a cleaning system.

"But…" Florence sighed as she took down her hair from the towel on top of her head. "Today's our day off."

"You guys can still do stuff." You said as you wiggled quickly into your jeans, not at all paying attention to the worried look on both of their faces.

It had been a little less than a month of dating and the two of them hadn't gone anywhere without you. Sure, you'd done things separately with the both of them. Separate dates, divided time between both their apartments, and long nights with either one of them in a bed.

You'd done just as much together as you had apart but neither one of them wanted to push the bounds of the slightly new relationship. That left you with one boyfriend and one girlfriend, who really didn't seem to be dating each other, only you.

"We've talked about this." You groaned as you slid your bra around your bare stomach. Harry's shirt bunched around your neck as you threaded each arm through a strap. "Go out on a date, fuck each other."

"We do!" Florence protested, her arms crossed against her bare chest, the towel in her hair fell slightly as she pouted to you.

You couldn't have rolled your eyes harder if you tried.

"Without me." You said as you tucked Harry's shirt into the top of your jeans. His head popped up from the bed, a dimpled smile across his face when he saw you wearing his clothes for the day.

"We wanna give yeh time to get used to it." He said as he rested on his elbow. His soft curly hair hung in his eyes.

"I know," you sighed as you sat down on the edge of the bed to put on your socks. " I appreciate it but really, you two are dating too."

"Won't change your mind?" Florence asked after a second too long of you three being in silence.

"Flor," you cooed in a soft voice when your eyes lifted to see her looking so vulnerable. "I'm not going anywhere. I want this."

Your hand cupped around her face, thumb stroking her cheek. Her head nodded in agreement before you leaned in to capture her lips with your own.

This would be good for all of you, you thought. A chance for the three of you to become a solid unit, not separate moving parts. You smiled softly at her as you leaned back from her. Her eyes still held a look of disbelief hidden deep in them.

"Promise I'm not going anywhere."

>>>

"You're late!" Your best friend yelled way too loudly at you as soon as you rounded the corner of the sidewalk. Your cheeks flamed as you glared at him, thankful your sunglasses hid you at least a little bit from the seemingly millions of people, now staring at you.

"Get famous friends and now you think you can be late."

Your elbow dug into his side as you passed him. The doors to the sports bar, you used to be a regular at, opened with a ring as he mumbled under his breath, dutifully following behind you as he rubbed the sore spot on his side.

The long table that was once filled with your handful of single friends was now filled to the brim with the original three and their partners. You were the only singleton, the lone warrior, or at least that's what they all thought.

The decision to not go public was made almost immediately by the three of you. No media coverage seemed like the smart move for everyone involved.

The only exception you made to the keep-it-under-wraps rule was your immediate family and your one best friend, Sam, who promptly told his own girlfriend.

"You should go out with our travel agent, Y/N, he's really sweet. Not much of a looker though." Lisa, a girl you didn't even like, piped up halfway through your pasta dish. Your teeth ground together as you smiled up to her over your fork.

"Might as well, Y/N." Sam's girlfriend, Casey, snickered from the other side of you. Her laughter was cut short by your foot kicking her leg under the table, hard.

"I'm good." You huffed, you didn't know how much longer you could take sitting here with all of them trying to set you up with friends of friends, or worse their sad sympathetic smiles everytime one of the couples at the table did something cute.

"You could tell them." Sam whispered to you when he saw your mounting frustration with the situation. Most of your friends had married assholes who had no problem voicing their opinions about your love life.

By the third beer and your slice of cheesecake, you had relaxed a bit. The conversation had finally gone from your lack of love life towards everyone's children or careers. The end of the long lunch was finally on the horizon and you could successfully ditch having to hang out with all of them again for at least another 6 months when your phone started buzzing out of control from your purse behind you.

All 6 people who sat around the table with you seemed to be more invasive than you originally thought. All set of eyes stared you down as you unlocked your phone to silence it, when the notifications caught your attention.

So many fucking notifications.

Every account you had, countless tags and mentions, tweets from every person in America, it felt like.

Thank fuck, @Y/N_Y/L/N can FINALLY leave @Harry_Styles alone!

Ding, Dong, the third wheel is DEAD @Y/N_Y/L/N

Hope @Y/N_Y/L/N is recovering well from @Harry_Styles choosing the better girl @Florence_Pugh

#Florencerry #Farry #Florry CONFIRMED. #ByebyebyeY/N

That familiar feeling of dread flooded your stomach, your tongue grew thick with anxiety as your eyes scanned so many messages. Your silence covered the entire table, or maybe it was the ringing in your ears that made it feel that way.

You said you wanted them to go on a date, not this.

No, this, this was awful. A picture of your two partners with their tongue shoved down each other's throats. They were in a corner, away from everybody, trying to be as private as possible. Harry's hand wrapped in her hair, her own hands grasped the back of his shirt.

Why wouldn't they be more careful? Where did this leave you three?

Where did it leave you?

"Everything okay?" Sam's voice sliced through your anxious thoughts.

"Just my brother." You lied as smoothly as you could. Your phone quickly locked and placed back into your purse, a wad of money thrown on the table for your meal. "He's at my apartment, got to go let him in."

"Okay?" Sam's voice trailed behind you as you rushed through the doors to the restaurant and back to the safety of your own apartment.

>>>

"What the fuck?" Florence groaned, her pillow thrown off the bed, towards Harry's phone that wouldn't stop ringing.

"'M up." He mumbled, his blurry eyes barely opening. They definitely shouldn't have had all those drinks with lunch.

"Wot?" He grumbled, half-asleep into his phone, not even paying attention to the name that flashed across the screen.

"Why didn't you tell me you're going out with Florence? This is great for the movie!" Jeff cheered, loudly, way too loudly. Harry's eyebrows pulled together as he pulled the phone back from his face.

Florence gasped, shooting up from her place, phone in hand as she panicked. Her eyes widened larger and larger, the longer she looked at her phone.

"Oh no." She whispered, her phone pushed in Harry's face that fell into a frown the second his eyes focused on the bright screen.

"Well, 'm not-" he cleared his throat that suddenly seemed like the desert. "'M dating her and Y/N."

"At the same time?" Jeff said after a very long and uncomfortable pause. Harry's hand ran through his hair as Florence signaled for him to put Jeff on speaker.

"Yeh, we're all datin'." Harry's lips pursed as he hit the speakerphone button. He wasn't exactly sure what Jeff would say. Sure, he was supportive in the past but this was new territory, at least for Harry.

"Harry…" Jeff sighed through the phone. His voice seemed to make the room go completely still. Everything paused in time. "You can't- listen, it's not a good idea to go public with that."

"Not really y'choice."

"Give it till the movie's over. You and Florence date publicly and promote the movie, once it's done go public then if you still want to."

"We'll talk 'bout it." Harry muttered, the phone call ended as quickly as it started. His phone thrown haphazardly back onto the nightstand beside the bed as he let out a long groan, his hands ran down his face.

"God, Y/N had to see that already. She's probably freaking out." Florence said as she got out of bed, determined to go check on her girlfriend no matter how late it was.

"Jeff was right." Harry said softly, his eyes fixed on the wall opposite of him. The small amount of light that filled the room was barely enough to see the shocked look across Florence's face, but Harry didn't have to see it to know it was there.

Even he was surprised at his own words.

Was he really prepared to give you both up to save his career? Or could he take all the stigma from dating two girls at once? He didn't know and he didn't have time to process.

"You did not just say that."

"What would people think, Flor? 'M a guy, dating two women! I'd be a womanizer and yeh two the bimbos who put up with me datin' each other."

"Wow, Harry." Florence's voice boomed around the room as she threw on her clothes. Angrily stomping around until she was clothed.

"Yeh knew what I meant." He sighed, his head rested in his hands.

"I don't want to hide who I'm with. I'm happy with you two and I can't believe you want to hide that!" She shrieked, her foot stomped on the floor as she glared at him.

Logically, she could understand his reasoning. Emotionally, she was pissed. How could he be thinking of hiding away what you three had? You were the perfect girlfriend and the three of you worked so well together.

"I wanna give it time!" He snapped back, his voice sharp with an anger she hadn't heard before.

"Why?" She asked in a huff, her hands crossed over her chest as she glared at him.

"People are gonna eat her alive. She'll always be the third wheel. If we wait til after the movie maybe it won't be so bad" Harry's words sucked the life right out of Florence. Her chest seemed to deflate as she stared at Harry. Stress, anxiety, and about a million other feelings ran through her all at once.

"Oh." She sighed, the edge of the bed dipped in as she sat down. Both of them silently staring at random objects in the room that suddenly become the most interesting thing.

Both of them wondering where this left the three of you.

>>>

It had been three months, three long and hard months of feeling like the outsider in your relationship. Maybe not in private but in public, you were always the odd man out.

Don't stand too close to Harry.

Don't be too friendly with Florence.

Don't laugh too hard.

Don't smile too much, and for the love of God, do not let anyone catch you hugging each other for too long.

It was hard but as the holidays grew closer and the final scenes of the movie were filmed, you knew the end was just on the horizon. You'd finally be able to hold hands with them in public again. You'd be able to fix Florence's hair or adjust Harry's shirt without being murdered online.

The trivial things that you used to not pay any mind to doing every day were hard to stop doing in public at first. It was a hard road, with too much speculation from fans and a lot of rude tweets about you, but it was worth it. You'd spend your nights wrapped up with the both of them, a smile on your face as you drifted to sleep.

It was hard but worth it. You'd repeat to yourself almost daily.

They cared about you.

They wanted to be with you.

You loved them both.

"Hello?" Your voice cracked as your one hand rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, the other barely opening the front door of Harry's house.

You didn't think he was expecting anyone.

"Is, uh, is my brother here?" Gemma asked from the other side.

"Oh, he and Florence are at an interview for the movie." You said as you opened the door fully for her. Your bare legs that weren't covered by Harry's t-shirt raised at the cool air that ran in. "You can wait for him if you want."

"Yeah, okay." She mumbled as she walked passed you, her eyes barely made contact with your own as she made a fast-paced walk to the living room.

"I'm sorry, if I'd known you were coming I would have picked up or you know, made tea or something." You said awkwardly from the entryway. Your arms crossed over your chest as you walked further into the room.

"No offense or anything," she started as she looked over the semi-messy room and back over to you, "why are you here?"

"What?" You asked with an uncomfortable chuckle, the smile that was there fell from your face.

"This is Harry's house and he's not here. Plus, he's dating Florence." Her pointed words stung deep as her eyes sliced into you.

"He's, he didn't- wait," you stuttered out as you circled to where she was standing, your eyebrows pulled tightly together as you looked into her stern face. "Did he not tell you?"

"Tell me what? That you're Florence's friend?"

The lung was sucked out of your lungs so quickly it felt like you were a fish out of water. Your tongue wetting your lips was the only signal to your brain that you were still alive and moving around, breathing but barely.

"Florence friend, right." You said softly, your eyes stung as you scoffed. You shook your head as you stared at the floor.

It took a millisecond for you to get a hold of yourself. You gave her a sad smile as you walked past her towards the bedroom. His shirt left on the bed and all of your belongings that were in sight packed into your oversized purse.

You were done.

You were so done being the third wheel. You could handle it for a little bit, maybe even forever if it was just with the public, but this was his sister. His family, his inner circle, and he hadn't told her.

"Y/N?" You heard her panicked call of your name from the other room. Your heart sank into the pit of your stomach. Your head thrown back as the tears started to flow down your cheeks.

You couldn't be with one and not the other.

"Where are you going?" Her voice broke as she saw you standing there, your bags packed, his shirt on the bed.

"Y/N?" His voice stung, the betrayal burned in your throat.

"I'm leaving." You said from the middle of the bedroom, your back still faced them as they stood in the doorway.

"You'll be back tomorrow, right?"

"No, Flor, I'm not coming back." You whispered, tears flooded your eyes as you heard her suck in a deep breath.

"Y/N, 'S almost over, one more interview and I prom-"

"Fuck your promises." You yelled as you turned furiously in your spot, your vision blurred as you glared at him.

"Wha-"

"Ask your sister." You scoffed as you stormed past them, your shoulder knocked his as you pushed through the doorway.

"What does that mean?" Florence yelled as she trailed after you. Harry's shocked face and slumped shoulder not deterring her at all from chasing you down.

"It means I'm done." You sniffed, the sleeve of your sweater used as a tissue. "I'm your girlfriend not some slut you welcome in your bed from time to time."

"We don't think that at all!" Florence cried harder, her hands cupped your face as she closed in on you. Your shoulders shrugged, your own hands pushed hers away as you sucked in a deep breath.

"I can't Flor. I just can't."

"Baby, please, lemme explain…" Harry pleaded as he walked up behind Florence, his hands rested on her shoulders, his own green eyes watering. "I didn't it to get out before we were ready. Jus' a little longer and then it goes back to normal."

"This is normal. This will always be our normal." You sobbed, your hands covered your eyes as you turned from the both of them. Your arms hugged around yourself for comfort. "I'm always going to be the one who's in the middle of your relationship."

"You're not!" Florence choked as she held onto Harry's hand.

"I'll fix all of this, please, jus' stay." Harry's hand reached for your own but you jerked your body away.

You couldn't say anything, nothing more would come out. No words made sense to you right now. Your heart was broken and so were you. You turned to leave, walking tight past the shocked Gemma and towards the door.

"I love you." Her words made you pause but only for a second, the doorknob turned in your hand before you could give it a second thought.

Leaving was harder than you ever imagined but you couldn't stay where you felt unwanted. Your sniffling nose and shallow breathing was your only company as you walked the long street back to your car then back to your lonely apartment that shined with object after object that reminded you of them.

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13uswntimagines · 4 years ago

Text

Cliche (Tobin x Reader)

Request: Marriage Proposal

Author’s Note: Special Thanks to @literaryhedgehog

“I’m just saying, I opened my inbox. SOMEONE should have messaged me,” Tobin said, tugging on her hair frustratedly. You watched in amusement, loving the way the sunlight caught her hair, as you exited the movie theater. She was so focused on her tirade that she didn’t even look down as she stumbled over an uneven brick in the patio, just continued walking. “It’s been open for days and I reblogged several of those ‘send me a number and I’ll answer a question’ posts!”

“Babe, you run an anonymous fandom blog for a sci-fi television show that stopped running 15 years ago,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“19 years, ago,” Tobin corrected, “and it has a pretty strong fanbase! That fanart I made got at least 100 likes.”

“You’re just lucky they didn’t match the brush strokes or something and figure out it was you. Like they did with your other fake Tumblr. They’re like crazy detectives,” You said side eyeing your girlfriend.

“I mean, I was making fanart of us on that one, it was pretty obvious.”

“I love it when you paint me, but It’s really creepy that you put it on the internet,” You huffed, crossing your arms tightly across your chest.

“Oh come on, I only posted the ones I made from press photos. You have a problem with the high definition, you talk to Alyssa’s girlfriend. She’s the photographer.”

“As long as you keep your drawings just for us, yeah?” You asked. Tobin had quite the eye, and she often found her greatest inspiration when you were relaxed. When you let your guard down. That mess the that many of her sketches of you were most certainly not suitable for public consumption.

“Anything I draw from life instead of from a screen I keep.” Tobin winked at you and linked her arm through yours. “So, what did you think of the movie? Or was it too romantic for you, you action-thriller loving fiend?”

You shrugged. “I think it was a little too cliche. Like who the fuck brings a diamond ring to the airport and uses the intercom to propose to the girl who just dumped him for a job across the country? And then she chooses him?” Some plots just made zero sense. At least your action movies didn’t force a girl to choose a person who was completely wrong for her.

“Oh come on, everyone loves cliches. I’ve seen the number of ‘there were only one bed’ fics you’ve read.”

“Those aren’t forced heteronormative love stories that don’t actually care about the characters” You scoffed.

“I have seen your archive of our own bookmarks, do we want to continue this conversation?” Tobin said sweetly, looking at the windows of the shops you passed, though you could see her suppressing a smile. She loved winning, be it argument or soccer game.

“My archive history doesn’t count,” you grumbled, pouting. It wasn’t your fault you had been kinda into Bellatrix dating Hermione, especially when they were both the same age and you got to see some Hogwarts hijinks (it helped you weren’t a Ron fan either).

“Sure, sure. Tell you what. You don’t like my new favorite Rom-Com? Show me you can do better,” Tobin gestured to the outdoor coffee shop along the route ahead. “Real life coffee shop AU. Here’s your chance to defy heteronormative love stories and cliches in the most romantic way possible.”

“Just please don’t spill your drink on me ok? You already have my number,” You asked, raising your eyebrows. You happened to like this shirt and didn’t want it to get ruined.

“That would be a cliche, wouldn’t it? I thought you wanted to avoid those?” Tobin said, raising her eyebrows to mirror yours as she pulled out a chair from one the tables, “you’re chair, mon chere?”

“You can be quite the Gentlelandy miss Heath if I do say so myself,” You smirked, settling into the chair she had pulled out for you, kissing her cheek.

“Why thank you,” Tobin said, tossing her hair back playfully before settling into her own seat. She grabbed the menu and opened it up. “So, what are you thinking? Asking the barista to make heart-shaped foam? Splitting a pasta dish and reenacting lady and the tramp?”

“I was thinking a cafe mocha with no whip, and I’m pretty sure this place doesn’t sell spaghetti,” you said, setting your chin on your hands, leaning on the table.

“I think I’ll get a nice chai latte. And a muffin on the side.”

“Lame. How do you live in Portland and hate coffee?”

“I thought you were supposed to say nice things. We already know each other, this can’t be enemies to lovers AU!”

“You’re still stuck on that?” You asked, sighing when Tobin raised her eyebrow at you. “Fine. How nice of you to choose a predictably unusual drink, and healthy snack for our date. Better?”

Tobin snorted. “Undeniably.”

“Good,” you watched her as she placed your orders with the waitress, thinking over what to do. She managed to place the order with her usual level-headedness, but she had the slightest smirk as she turned back to you. It was both loving and a challenge.

“Babe,” you said, “I literally have no idea how to make this a living coffee shop AU. I can’t remember the last time I read one of those where neither of the characters was a barista.”

“First I think we talk about random things while sipping our drinks, wondering how we get each other so well,” Tobin started, setting your drink on the table in front of you.

“So basically do what we normally do, but with added pressure?”

“Yep! Wanna start? You can tell me about that new fanfic writer you’ve been reading? The one who writes the really cute Sonnett fics?”

“Oneanddone has a couple… it’s like they actually know about Snippets from her and Lindsey’s relationship,” You said, your lips ticking up.

“That sounds fun and not at all creepy,” Tobin said, leaning forward.

“The best one was where Lindsey flew all the way to Sweden to propose. It was cute, but entirely too cliche,” You winked at Tobin, so she knew you were continuing the joke. “She just showed up and proposed after Emily won the championship and Emily kissed her hard hat and all. Like they would give the fans that much PDA in one shot,”

“Hmmm, better check for cameras then,” Tobin said, ruffling in her pocket. You heard the sound of candy wrappers, as usual following a movie with her.

“What?”

Tobin got down from her chair and kneeled in front of you. “Y/M/N, I have liked you since the first day I met you. You were smart, beautiful, and had a hell of a right hook. Watching you on that punching bag was one of the sexiest things I had ever seen, up until the day you agreed to go out on a date with me. And the date after that, and the date after that. I fell in love with a woman who’s not afraid to have an opinion, who will ask to pet every dog she sees, and who loves listening to me rant about any subject over the moon. Now I know you don’t like cliches, so I didn’t get you a diamond,” She pulled her hand out of her pocket and held the ring pop up for you to see, “I got you a cherry. I also have a grape and orange in my purse. Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” You breathed out, forgoing the ring pop in favor of kissing your girlfriend- fiancé.

“Such a cliche,” she murmured against your lips, threading her fingers through your hair.

“Shut up and kiss me,”

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #tobin heath imagines #tobin heath x reader #literalhedgehog

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icelily17 · 4 years ago

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Date Night (A KimxRon fic)

Alrighty, here’s a little writing exercise for myself! This prompt was from @gothicthundra and I’m very grateful to everyone else for suggested prompts! I’ll get to them hopefully soon. Put under a read more for space purposes haha, this is set during Season 4 just so I can start on familiar ground. I really, really hope I didn’t butcher the characters....

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“You think you’re all that, Kim Possible!! But you’re nooooooot!!!!” Dr. Drakken yelled out angrily as he flew away with Shego in his hovercar, once again defeated. Kim Possible, teen superhero, stood up and dusted herself off after a job well done. “Okay, Drakken, whatever you say,” she said sarcastically.

“Y’know, how many times is he going to say that line?” Ron Stoppable came up behind her, picking a piece of dirt off her shoulder that she missed. Her best friend-turned-boyfriend crossed his arms, “You’d think that after the first couple of hundred times his butt was kicked, he’d come up with something else”.

“Well, at least Drakken didn’t get his hands on that chromium gem to power whatever his newest hairbrained scheme, AND we got it done before dinnertime!” Kim looked at her watch, “Perfect!”

“Yeah! We can stop at Bueno Nacho on the way home!” Ron exclaimed. Rufus came out of his pocket and ran up Ron’s shoulder and squeaked “Mmm, dinner! Hungry!”

Kim smiled and took out the Kimmunicator, “Sorry, I have some AP English homework I have to do tonight. Wade?” She called, and within seconds their friend blipped on the screen, “Can you get us a ride back to Middleton?”

“Hey guys, didja get Drakken before he got the goods?” Wade asked, already typing away looking for a contact. “Yeah, the chromium gem is safe and sound in the lab,” she assured. “Cool, you’re ride’s on it’s way!” Wade gave a thumbs up, to which Kim gave her thanks and put the Kimmunicator away.

“English homework? On a Friday night? But I thought Friday night was our night!” Ron said, continuing their conversation.

“Not officially!”

“Aw man, that rips,” Ron moaned, “I was hoping we’d be able to spend some time together.” Kim raised her eyebrow, “Ron, all we ever do is spend time together.”

“Yeah, I know, but I meant something along the lines of a date. Maybe a movie, maybe we could have watched the newest episode of Agony County, grab a pizza....you know,” Ron rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. It was something he felt he could never get used to, talking about going on dates with Kim; it was like a never-ending dream, being her boyfriend. Kim smiled affectionately and grabbed his hand, “Sorry, but I really want to get a headstart on this homework. You know you can still come over?”

“Nah, I dont want to distract you if you’re working. I’ll just head home and play some Zombie Mayhem 2. What about tomorrow? I can take you out to dinner, we could go to a movie or take a stroll around town?” They began walking downhill to their rendezvous point. Kim put her finger to her chin as she thought, “Hmm....tomorrow’s looking pretty free, dinner and a walk sound great.”

“Coolness! Pick you up at 7?”

“It’s a date,” Kim giggled.

--THE NEXT DAY--

“Monique, I don’t have a clue what I should wear!” Kim wailed into her phone, shoving her clothes aside in her closet. She picked up a blue flowy long-sleeve shirt and held it up to herself in front of her mirror.

“Girl, it’s a date. You said he’s taking you out to dinner?” Her other best friend asked. “Yeah, but I dont know where, I dont want to be too over-dressed,” Kim said.

“If it’s Bueno Nacho, then it’s most likely over-dressed,” Monique deadpanned. “No, I don’t think it’s Bueno Nacho this time, he sounded like he really wanted to make this a real date,” the redhead mused, holding up a forest green long-sleeved shirt that had cut-outs on the shoulders to herself. She smiled and put it on the bed, returning to her closet for a pair of pants.

“Well, good on him! Look Kim, it’s Ron, you have nothing to worry about! It’s not like you haven’t known each other your whole lives,” Monique pointed out. Kim took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She had to admit Monique had a point. She had nothing to worry about, she knew that as long as she was with Ron she was going to have a good time. She glanced up on her dresser mirror and saw the pictures she and Ron had taken in a photobooth a few years ago, and smiled at the familiar flutters in her gut she felt when she looked at him.

“You’re right, Monique...not to sound too dramatic, but it’s just that it’s a little weird to think about going on a date with Ron. I mean, a real date as boyfriend and girlfriend, not the stuff we usually do. But in a good way! It’s just...”

“New?” Monique offered. Kim smiled, “Yea, new. But I like it.” She pulled out a pair of dark jeans, a pair of black boots with a small heel and a necklace, “Alright, outfit picked, not too casual, but not too dressy. So not the drama, thanks Monique!”

“No problem Kim. TTYL, spill the deets on Monday!” her friend said her goodbyes and hung up. Kim got ready, put on the slightest bit of makeup, hoping her father wouldn’t notice but felt it was necessary. This was a date, she wasn’t an animal, and she wanted to look nice for Ron. She sprayed a little perfume, then went downstairs and sat on the sofa where her little brothers were watching some cartoon she didn’t care about, and her mother was reading a book.

“All ready for your date Kimmie? When’s Ron coming over?” Dr. Ann Possible glanced up, looking at her daughter. Kim took the fact she didn’t say anything about her makeup meant she looked fine by her parents’ standards and opened her mouth to answer--

“Kim’s going on a daaaaaaate!” Jim taunted. “Ew, cootie alert!” Tim followed, and both boys laughed. “Shut it, Tweebs!” Kim hissed. “Boys,” their mother warned, and the twins just grinned and turned back to their show. “Ron said he’d pick me up at 7. It’s just to dinner and a walk, nothing too fancy,” Kim told her mom. Mrs. Possible smiled and turned a page, “Well that’s nice, I hope you two have a good time.”

“Where’s Dad? Working late again?”

“Ah, you know your father when there’s a new project at work, he’ll probably be gone later than you will. Which by the way, not too late okay?” Mrs. Possible looked up sternly. “I know Mom, 10 o’ clock,” Kim rolled her eyes good-naturedly. Her mother smiled, “Let’s make it 10;30. It’s Saturday, and it’s Ron, it’s not like he’s a stranger.”

Kim gasped, “Really? Oh thank you Mom!”

Mrs. Possible chuckled and pat her daughter on the hand, “Of course Kimmie, and if your father has anything to say he can talk to me about it.” She returned to her book again, and at that moment the doorbell rang.

Kim answered the door to Ron in a nice button-down short-sleeved red plaid shirt with a darker red t-shirt underneath, a pair of light blue jeans and sneakers. Kim was grateful that he had decided not to wear his usual jersey and so didn’t say anything except “Wow, look at you!” To which Ron giggled nervously and produced a bouquet of lilies. Kim smiled and took them happily.

“Good evening mademoiselle, and may I say you look very enchanting this evening,” He lifted an eyebrow in a flirty way. Kim laughed into her hand, then went inside to put the bouquet in a vase. He followed her inside and waved, “Hey Dr. P!”

“Hello Ron! Have Kim home by 10:30, okay?”

“You got it!” He called back as Kim dragged him out of the house. They walked down the walkway to where his scooter was parked and Ron handed her a helmet. “So where are we headed, Mr. Romantic?” Kim asked as she put it on and climbed on the back of the scooter.

“There’s this Italian place downtown I thought we could check out, DiPaolo’s,” He revved up the scooter, Kim grabbed his waist and they left. “Is that okay?”

“I could go for pasta,” Kim said, resting her head on his back. “At least it’s not Bueno Nacho.” Ron smiled as his tummy turned slightly and they rode in silence.

At the restaurant they initially sat in uncomfortable silence as they realized this was their first real, fancy-ish not-naco-and-a-movie date since becoming a couple and didn’t know what to do. Ron glanced at the menu and was glad his father lent him some money--not too expensive but not quite cheap either. He glanced up at Kim and could swear he was looking at an angel. She looked beautiful (well I mean not that she isn’t all the time but WOW) and he was once again wondering how he was so lucky to have been the one Kim chose to be with. He smiled affectionately, and when Kim caught his eye she smiled back shyly.

“Hey KP, this is so...well, I mean...I just...” he began, but sputtered nervously. Great, not how he wanted to start, real smooth Stoppable. But Kim put her hand on his, to which he looked up and saw her still smiling and shaking her head.

“Oh Ron, look...if it makes you feel better, I’m nervous too.”

“You? But you’re never nervous!”

“I am when it comes to cute boys,” she said slyly. Ron giggled and rubbed the back of his neck, “Haha, yeah...but I didn’t want to be nervous. I mean, we shouldn’t be, right? I mean, it’s us.”

Kim leaned back in her seat, “You’re right...it is us, but this is something I guess we never really expected. Still, I’m glad it happened, and I’m glad you’re here with me.” Ron smiled and took her hand again, “Yeah?”

“Of course. Here’s an idea: let’s just pretend this is just another hangout at Bueno Nacho, and we’ll go from there one step at a time, okay?” She squeezed his hand.

“Yeah!” Just then the waiter came up and asked “What can I get you to drink?” with his notepad and pen poised. Kim ordered a water with lemon, and when the waiter turned to Ron, he studied the menu for a minute before looking at the waiter. “I’ll have a coco-moo....I mean, ah.....iced tea! Yeah, iced tea please, heh heh,” he chuckled nervously. The waiter and Kim raised an eyebrow, exchanged a glance, and the waiter walked away to get their drinks.

“Coco-moo?” Kim inquired. Ron shrugged a shoulder, “I heard it somewhere once, can’t remember. Anyway,” he said, clearly trying to move on, “did you finish your English paper?”

The rest of dinner went easily, and neither of the teens could believe they were even nervous to begin with. When they got past the initial awkwardness, it was like everything was as it had always been, just with more handholding and kisses and neither of them were complaining about that.

Afterwards, they rode Ron’s scooter to the park and just walked hand in hand. They stopped at a familiar, graffiti covered wall and sat on the bench nearby. “Hey, remember when you were hit with Drakken’s weird plant and were going to disappear every time you got embarrassed?” Ron asked.

Kim rolled her eyes, “How could I forget? They followed me on my date with Josh Mankey and tried to embarrass me themselves! Not to mention the embarrassment ninjas and the Tweebs...did you know they set up a projector and showed embarrassing pictures of me here on this wall?”

Ron winced, “Oof, that’s harsh. Embarrassment ninjas?” Kim nodded, “Yeah, but then you came through and got me out of it just in time.” Ron shrugged, “Well I wasn’t going to just let you disappear. Although, I was surprised you weren’t in your room, Wade and I had to track you down.”

Kim looked away sheepishly, “Yea...I’m sorry about that...” Ron waved his hand and gave his goofy smile, “Hey no big, KP. Everything turned out fine and the Ron-Man saved the day!” Ron tried not to think about how he had felt when he saw Kim out with Mankey, risking her life just for a date. He remembered giving her a thumbs up when she looked at him in gratitude, because like Mankey or not (which he absolutely did not) he was going to support his best friend.

But that didn’t stop the pang he had felt in his chest that night.

“You know, I think that might have been the first time I noticed I liked you,” Ron said thoughtfully. “What?” Kim asked, looking at him. He winced, “Did I say that out loud?”

“Yea, but what do you mean? When I was on my date with Josh?” She asked. She was surprised he had liked her for that long, and a little pleased.

“Yea. I know I didn’t like him but I wasn’t going to let that get in the way of you dating him if you had wanted that. But seeing you there, all happy on your date, I was....”

“Jellin’?”

“What?”

“Sorry, I mean jealous?”

“Yeah, I guess so. I had never really thought about it, about you, that way up until then. But I still didn’t think about it up until the end of last year. And I didn’t know what you thought of me, you know?” The blonde put his hands together and twiddled his thumbs.

Kim faced him, “Ron, why didn’t you say anything?” Ron shrugged, “I didn’t want to risk our friendship.” Kim understood, she had wrestled with the thought for years on her end. She smiled and put a hand on his cheek, “Well let me be the first to say that I like you, Ron Stoppable, and I am very glad that you are my boyfriend. I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world.”

They smiled at each other and leaned in for a tender kiss. They remained that way, in a sweet embrace for some time before they had to come up for some air. Ron leaned back and looked at her through half-lidded eyes. Her cheeks were red and there was a sparkle in her eye; he felt his heart swell and once again thanked the universe for making him the luckiest man in the world.

“I love you, KP.”

Kim’s eyes turned bright as she felt herself warm up from head to toe; she felt an almost weightless-ness as her chest swelled tight. She could burst out of happiness, and nothing could ruin this moment for her--not even Shego.

She threw her arms around his neck and captured his lips once again, and they could feel each other smiling into it. As they pulled away, Kim let out a sigh, “Best date ever.”

Ron laughed, “Boo-yah! I still got the way with the ladies!” Kim just smiled at her goofball. She looked at her watch: 10:15. “Well, we better head back home. Let’s go, Romeo.”

The drove back to the Possible house; Kim was slightly relieved to see that her mother had been right and Mr. Possible was still working. No pesky questions, no matter how well-meaning her dad was. They both got off, since Ron was going to walk her to the door--he knew the basic boyfriend rules.

“So you wanna come over and watch the latest Agony County episode tomorrow? I taped it,” Kim asked, her hand on the door. “You got it! Order a pizza?” Ron asked.

“Psshh-yeah! Isn’t that the tradition?”

“Bon diggity, I’ll bring the popcorn and soda,” Ron said excitedly. “Well, ‘night KP!”

Kim leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Goodnight Ron. Tonight was perfect. See you tomorrow!”

Ron waited until she went inside before he walked back to his scooter and walked it into the garage of his house next door. He went up to his room, smiling so hard he thought his face was going to break in half. When he walked in, Rufus looked up from the video game he was playing and squeaked at him as if to ask how it went.

“Rufus, buddy, your main man Ron’s still got the moves,” Ron said, then sighed happily as he flopped on his bed. Rufus squealed happily and ran next to him.

“I was wrong Rufus. Love isn’t complicated...it’s great!”

#Ooof welp that's it lmaoooooo #I really hope yall like it this took me 4 hours to write *hides in shame*#kim x ron #kim possible #ron stoppable #I have NO idea how to write an ending ugh

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lonelyreputation · 4 years ago

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The List

A/N: Happy afternoon/evening/morning to wherever you find yourself on this planet! I had planned on posting this ~next week, but I’m trying to be better at posting fics sooner instead of having them sit in my docs for like 2 weeks after I finish sdljfk so here’s this one! I also can’t find the original request or else I would link it, but below is a summary! And it’s allllll fluff !

Thanks a million for all your support!! 💖💫 I really appreciate every reader, every like, every reblog, and every reply that I’ve ever received 🥺 It really makes my heart melt lsdjflk

Also, as I’m sure most of you are aware, there was a devastating explosion in Beirut, Lebanon on Tuesday that killed hundreds and injured thousands. Here’s a really informational text post explaining the explosion with additional resources to help. And if you have the means, here is the link to donate to the Lebanese Red Cross.

REQUEST: Going grocery shopping with your husband Shawn during corona and running into fans

Let’s Chat!! | MASTERLIST

Warnings: Coronavirus (please remember to wear your masks!!!)

Word Count: 2.3K

“Do you have the list?” You mumbled through your mask.

Shawn shut the driver’s side door close as he slipped the elastic strings of his mask around his ears, “I thought you had it?”

You looked at him in disbelief as the two of you walked toward the front of the grocery store, “You said and I quote,” you cleared your throat to lower your voice, “Of course, I have the list Y/n, I’m not irresponsible.”

He rolled his eyes at the glare you sent him as he took out a clorox wipe from a ziplock bag to wipe down the handle of the shopping cart before he put his hands on it, “Tomato tomahto.”

“Shawn, we’re in the middle of a pandemic,” you glared at him again as the two of you entered through the automatic doors, “We need specific things and can’t keep running back and forth to the store.”

“I––Yeah, you’re right, sorry.”

For a second you forgot you were wearing a mask, so you just smiled at him as a response. But when you realized that all he could see were the crinkles at the corner of your eyes, you patted his bicep, “It’s alright, let’s just get what we need and then leave.”

Shawn nodded as he pushed the cart over toward the produce section. You picked out some lettuce, peppers, apples, and other assortments of fruits and vegetables. As you were tying a knot around a plastic bag you had put asparagus in, Shawn’s voice caused your head to turn his way.

“How do you pick out an avocado?”

“How do you––What?”

Shawn stared down at the avocados, eyebrows pulled together as he scratched his chin, “Like, I know there’s something about the color and feel of it, but I don’t wanna touch them and then put them back.”

He had a point, you thought. There was a fear factor about touching a piece of fruit––of touching anything in the grocery store––and putting it back on the shelf that could potentially put someone at risk of getting sick.

“I guess just grab a few?” You pulled down another plastic bag from the dispenser, wiggling your hands inside to fully open it and holding it out to Shawn, “We’ll eat the softer one’s first and just keep an eye on the rest of them.”

Shawn nodded as he picked up a few avocados and placed them in the bag you held open for him. Once Shawn had put six avocados in the bag you gave him a look silently asking him if he really needed all of the avocados.

“I like avocado toast,” he gave you a cheeky wink, “And it’s not like we can put them back.”

You let out an exasperated sigh, knowing full well he was grinning under his mask, as he pushed the cart forward, “What else do we need?”

“I would know if we had a list.”

“I said I was sorry!”

You tilted your head and gave him a deliberate look that showed you didn’t believe him. You heard him let out a faux disgruntled sigh as he looked at you with nothing but love in his eyes. Shawn continued to push the cart forward and you told him to jokingly get whatever he wanted since the list was long forgotten.

And he took your lighthearted joke to heart as the two of you went up and down the aisles. Shawn grabbed various cereal boxes you didn’t even know he liked to eat, seven different kinds of pasta noodles––They’re on sale, Y/n––snacks ranging from potato chips to dried kale flakes, and spent more than enough time in the baking aisle.

You stood next to the cart that Shawn abandoned as you watched him walk up and down the aisle; front teeth biting down on his bottom lip in concentration as he leaned in close to the shelves with squinted eyes, reading the labels.

“You’re serious about this?” You warily looked at the way he was so concentrated.

“Of course,” he said unfazed as he turned his head over his shoulder to give you a duh look, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just so…” Your words trailed off as he whipped his head back around and bent his knees to squint at the labels on the bottom shelf, “Unexpected.”

Shawn let out a little triumphant ah ha as he picked up bread flour from the bottom shelf. He shrugged his shoulders at you as he dropped the bread flour in the cart, “Everyone seems to be making sourdough bread.”

For what felt like the millionth time since you stepped foot in the grocery store, you let out a sigh, “That doesn’t mean you should.”

Shawn glared at you, “My mom said she would FaceTime me to help.”

Your eyes crinkled as you laughed out loud and pushed the cart down to the cleaning supplies aisle. You picked up the limit of two packs of paper towels, two packs of toilet paper, but the store was unfortunately out of clorox wipes.

After you picked up those essential supplies, you went down to pick up some bread, eggs, and then down to the milk. You opened the fridge door, took a gallon of milk out, but before you could fully close the door, Shawn offered up his spaced-out thoughts.

“What’s the difference between one percent and two percent milk?”

“Shawn, I don’t know,” You turned around and saw his nose an inch away from the glass of the fridge, “And get your nose away––You don’t know who’s touched that surface.”

He moved his head back, but it was still too close then what you would’ve liked, “There’s so many types of milk…And like, non-milk’s…Have you ever tried pea milk?”

You now remembered why you always left Shawn at the house when you went food shopping.

“You usually like fat-free milk in your cereal–––”

“Shawn––Are you Shawn Mendes?”

Shawn pulled his head completely away from the glass and took a few steps toward you as to put some distance between the fans and him, “Uh––Yeah––Hi, how’s it going?”

Even with their masks on, you could tell that they were trying really hard to hold in their excitement. While the three of them looked to be various ages, you could tell that they were sisters.

“We’re so good––”

“––As good as you can be in a pandemic––”

“Are you grocery shopping?”

The last question made you laugh because if being in a grocery store wasn’t obvious enough, you also had a cart full of food. But you knew that they really admired Shawn’s music, that they were also probably nervous, and just trying to make conversation with him.

“Yeah,” Shawn smiled at them as he gestured to you, “Y/n forgot the list though––”

“You said you had it!” You cut him off and turned your attention to the fans, “He’s always so forgetful.”

“You guys are too cute––”

“––Yeah like your wedding pictures were to die for––”

“What song did you have your first dance to?”

Like how you directed your attention to the trio of girls, the youngest of the sisters directed this question at you.

“Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis was our first dance song,” you blushed at the memory that was just a little under a year ago, as you looked up at Shawn, who was already looking down at you with idolization shining bright his eyes for you, “He stepped on my dress a few times.”

Shawn scoffed and the idolization in his eyes turned into bewilderment, “You stepped on my shoes.”

“Tomato tomahto,” you shot his words back at him.

“That is really funny––”

“––That song is so romantic––”

“Can we get a picture?”

The two older sisters apologized and silently berated the youngest sister saying how they probably didn’t want to be bothered while out; especially in a pandemic. But Shawn reassured her that it was fine.

“Okay, so let’s…” Shawn was trying to strategize the safest way to take a picture with fans, “Let’s do this as socially distant as possible…Hmm…Okay so how about I get behind you girls and you aim the camera up so you’re able to see me in the distance?”

They all agreed with wide eyes and vigorous nods of their head, verbalizing their gratitude toward Shawn and how he was being so compromising and careful with the current situation. You stood by the cart as you witnessed the oldest sister stretch her arm out so she was able to get her sisters and Shawn, who was standing more than six feet behind them, all into the picture.

“I really appreciate you girls being so understanding with taking the picture and not having it be…normal. We’ve––” Shawn gestured his hand between you and him, “––been quarantining pretty intensely, but I still don’t want to risk you all––or my wife––getting infected.”

Just like the picture, the sister’s understood his concerns.

“Really, thank you so much–––”

“––This has been the highlight of my quarantine––”

“When are you releasing new music?”

You let out a laugh that your mask, thankfully, muffled as all the sisters continued to talk over each other, but were interrupted when the youngest would blurt out a question.

Shawn’s laugh was more hearty and audible to the fans, “I’ve been writing more,” Shawn gave you a side glance, “I’ve had some good inspiration lately.”

Once they all thanked Shawn again, they were trotting off to wherever they came from. Shawn was silent for the remaining of the shopping trip, only offering his opinion every now and then when you asked him a question. Checking out was a breeze, and soon enough you were walking outside with the bags, placing them in the back of Shawn’s car.

The two of you opened your doors, stepped into the car, but before you buckled up, you held your hand out to Shawn who was already squeezing hand sanitizer into his hand. You thanked him as you rubbed your hands together, the alcohol smell pungent in the car.

“Alright there?” You clicked your seatbelt in place as Shawn started the car.

He placed a hand on the back of your seat as he looked through the back windshield, “Yeah, just…It was nice seeing some fans…Almost forgot I was famous for a minute.”

“You might’ve forgotten that you’re famous, but your fans will never forget you.”

He tried to contain the growing smile by biting the corner of his bottom lip as he looked over at you. You offered him a shining smile and with a shake of his head and a small chuckle, he placed a hand on your thigh and gave you a slight squeeze.

The rest of the ride was silent and you pulled out your phone to scroll through Twitter while Shawn sang along to the radio. You were mindlessly scrolling, not really paying attention to your timeline, but then you saw an update account retweet the picture of Shawn at the grocery store with fans. You clicked on the profile and saw that there was a link to the full Instagram post.

You were directed from Twitter to the Instagram app and smiled at the picture’s caption.

Ran into Y/n and Shawn Mendes at the store! They were very cute, but Shawn forgot their food list! Y/n kept teasing him. And they were both wearing masks! And before anyone says anything about the pic, Shawn was more than 6 ft away and stood behind us. He also said that he and Y/n had been quarantining intensely! We love our quarantine King and Queen Y/n and Shawn Mendes ✨ 💖💫

You decided to humor yourself and read the comments. And while almost all of them were positive, there were still some people commenting on how they thought you and Shawn weren’t actually married and it was still just for PR.

Someone did comment: What supermarket? I’m tryna meet Shawn 👀

But the fan, the oldest sister, who you met just under an hour ago at the supermarket responded: Sorry! Not going to give out their private info just in case they live in that area!

You smiled at the thoughtfulness of her response and hearted the comment.

Before you knew it, you were back at your house washing your hands, and bringing in the grocery bags. You unpacked the groceries one by one, putting vegetables in the fridge as Shawn put the seven different kinds of pasta away in the pantry.

You walked back to where the grocery bags were on the floor, pulling out carrots and red peppers, when you saw a corner piece of white paper slightly sticking out from the top of your husband’s back pocket.

“Shawn?” You asked cautiously, not sure if your eyes were betraying you or not.

He peeked his head over his shoulder, “Yeah?”

Your eyes drifted down to his back pocket, “What’s that?”

Shawn followed your gaze and turned his head down to his backside, with a frown on his face, as he reached a hand into his pocket. And just as you expected, he pulled out a crumpled white piece of scrap paper, the one you knew you wrote your food list on.

His eyebrows were scrunched together, reading over the list, and then his eyes widened when he realized what he was reading. He looked up at you with an apologetic look, “Now also wouldn’t be the time to tell you that I forgot to buy pasta sauce?”

Your shoulders fell, just as fast as your mouth, as you looked at him with wild eyes, “You bought seven different kinds of pasta and didn’t buy any sauce?!”

taglist: @fallinallincurls @alina--jpeg @adelaidestreets @5-seconds-of-mendes @particularnarry @now-that-i-saw-u @turtoix @shawnsmutal @vinylmendes @mendesficsxbombay @lights-on-mendes

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thatsamericano · 3 years ago

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Not Remotely Toothbrush-Shaped

Pairing/Characters: America and Romano, with slight shippy overtones near the end. Human AU.

Rating: Teen, for some cursing, very frank discussion of packers, and vague and brief discussion of sexual topics.

Warnings: Past transphobia, oblique mention of possible homophobia that doesn’t show up on screen, gender dysphoria.

Word Count: 1322

Summary: Alfred decided to clean his packer when both of his roommates weren’t at the apartment. But Savino came home from the grocery store sooner than he’d been expecting.

A/N: Inspired by this post by @captive-hetalian. This fic will be on AO3 soon.

Alfred shouldn’t have decided to play a couple levels of Halo, but he thought he’d have plenty of time. Plenty of time to clean his packer, let it airdry on the counter, and fight the Covenant, because Tolys would be in class and Vinny would be at the grocery store. His packer would be dry long before either of his roommates came home.

But Savino returned to the apartment much earlier than expected, with only a single grocery bag. Alfred had assumed he’d be searching for the perfect tomato for at least an hour, or perhaps scouring the aisles for the specific type of pasta or cheese he wanted. Vinny was picky about tomatoes, pasta, and cheese.

As soon as he heard the key in the lock, Alfred paused his video game. Without saying anything to him, Vinny started heading straight to the hall where the bathroom was, and Alfred vaulted over the back of the couch and slid with his socks on the laminate floor to intercept him in time.

“I can go put that up for you! Why don’t you sit down and relax?! I’ll make coffee for you!” His smile was fake as hell, and he was panicking, but his roommate didn’t seem to pick up on it.

Savino rolled his eyes. “I just need to put up this one thing. You can go back to playing Halo. Your coffee is terrible, by the way.”

Vinny pushed past him, and Alfred desperately grabbed onto his right bicep, but that wasn’t enough to prevent his worst nightmare from coming true. Savino used his left hand to turn the doorknob, took a single step into the bathroom, then froze at the sight of a fake dick lying on the counter next to the sick.

“Fredo?” Savino sounded confused, not that Alfred could blame him.

“I can explain! It’s um, a toothbrush! Yep, that’s what it is!”

Savino snorted then looked up at Alfred with raised, skeptical eyebrows. “That’s a very dick-shaped toothbrush, idiota.”

Vinny’s face looked kind of blurry, because Alfred was starting to tear up, even though crying wasn’t a particularly manly thing for him to do. Should he pretend if he was a dildo? If he did, Vinny would assume he was gay, and that probably wouldn’t be much better than knowing Alfred didn’t actually have a dick of his own and needed to wear a fake one to help with bottom dysphoria. God, this was so humiliating.

“Cristo, it’s not a big deal. I don’t care that you had to clean your packer.”

“You might feel that way now, but soon you’re gonna start seeing me differently! Just like everyone in high school did when I cut my hair and started going by Alfred!” He’d gotten so much bullying for that, and he didn’t want to have to go through that experience again. Even the people who didn’t harass him or deliberately continue to use his deadname looked at Alfred like they pitied him or didn’t know how to talk to him anymore. To his high school classmates, he would always be that weird girl who started pretending to be a guy, not just Alfred, a regular dude.

College was supposed to be a fresh start. Nobody here knew his dead name or what he used to look like. He was tall and had enough muscles to pass as cis, so that’s what he decided to do. What he looked like without clothes on wasn’t really anyone else’s business anyway.

But now Savino knew. He knew, and he’d probably tell Tolys what happened, then they’d both know, and—

Savino shoved the grocery bag into his chest, and the square, somewhat squishy item inside knocked right up against his binder. “I’m the last fucking person who’d give you shit about this,” he grumbled. “Look inside the bag if you don’t believe me.”

Alfred peeked inside and blinked in disbelief at the familiar package. He’d used these until he started taking testosterone, which had stopped his periods pretty quickly. “These are maxi pads.”

Savino’s face was burning crimson, and he was staring off at some random spot in the distance. “No shit. I’m due to get my monthly curse from hell in the next few days, and I didn’t want to have to hide this crap under my bed again. I was gonna tell you when Tolys got home so I wouldn’t have to explain this twice in one fucking day, but that plan got shot to hell when you started freaking out about your packer and pretending it was a toothbrush.”

Alfred laughed weakly. “I thought about lying and saying it was a dildo. But that would’ve been really weird too, and I didn’t know if you’d react better or worse to finding out it was a packer.”

Vinny bit his lip before speaking, which was oddly cute. It was equally odd that Alfred was thinking of Vinny’s lip biting as cute, but that wasn’t something he wanted to consider too deeply right now. “I don’t care what sex toys you use on yourself,” he muttered. “Just as long as you don’t tell me too many details about what you do with them.”

“Fair enough.” Alfred squeezed Savino’s shoulder then let go. “I’ll let you put up your stuff now.”

“Grazie.” Alfred headed back towards the living room as Savino headed towards the cabinet over the sink.

He went back to playing Halo, and Vinny hummed a song Alfred couldn’t recognize from the kitchen as he made a cappuccino for himself. Savino returned to the living room and started doing some reading for one of his classes as Alfred kept playing his video game.

After a while, Alfred quit his game. His packer would be dry, and he wanted to collect it before his other roommate could spot it in the bathroom once he got out of class. But before he left the room, he turned to look at Savino.

Savino was staring down at his textbook with a focused frown on his face, and his empty coffee cup was resting on a coaster in front of him. He used the highlighter in his right hand to occasionally mark up what he was reading. Alfred wasn’t sure if his heart was pounding because he was nervous about what he’d decided to say or something else.

“I was thinking… I could tell Tolys about me too. If you want.”

Savino glanced up from his book. “Are you sure? Based on how you were reacting earlier, you didn’t seem like you wanted anyone to know about you.”

Alfred nodded. “I’m sure. If you can do it, I figure I can do it too. Like a solidarity thing, maybe?” That sounded weird. Alfred didn’t know how to explain it. He hadn’t wanted either of his roommates to know he was trans fifteen minutes ago, but he didn’t want Vinny to go through explaining himself alone either, because he knew just how scary that could be. And maybe he felt a little closer to Vinny after finding out they both had to deal with this kind of stuff.

Savino grinned at him, and it made Alfred feel warm and a little floaty. He must’ve been really glad that he’d thought of a way to help Vinny.

“That would be nice. But only if you’re comfortable with it, understand?” Savino was pointing his highlighter at him, which made Alfred laugh. It was kind of funny how he always had to gesture whenever he talked. Kind of cute too.

“Sure thing. We’ll tell him together.”

Savino went back to his reading, and Alfred smiled to himself as he went to the bathroom to collect his packer. He hadn’t planned on anyone finding out he was trans today, especially in such an unexpected and awkward way, but it hadn’t been half as humiliating as he’d feared it would be. Maybe telling Tolys would go well too.

19 notes · View notes

joyseuphoria · 4 years ago

Note

She hated how much she liked him now

Thank you sooo much for the prompt!!!

The “him” in the prompts are replaced with “her” since this is a fem!jily fic!!! I had too many ideas for this fic...maybe I’ll write some of the rest in the future, but here you go!

You can read it here or on ao3

THE CURLY SQUAD

(Tuesday 16:00)

Sirius Black: moony and the rest of you pay up

Marlene Mckinnon: why should we pay u?

Remus Lupin: u still owe me 20 btw so i dont think i will

Sirius Black: ofc ppl like u wouldnt know smh

jamie finally asked lily on a date

Peter Pettigrew: Wait what

Marlene McKinnon: afsjtksjdggehej

when

how

tell me everything

Sirius Black: well little prongsie finally sucked up and asked ickle lilykins on date

voila

Marlene McKinnon: give me the details black

or i s2g ill kick u out of the group

Sirius Black: empty threats

if u really wanna know u can go ask em

(Marlene McKinnon has removed Sirius Black from the group chat)

Peter Pettigrew: Remind me to not ever cross paths with Marlene

_____________

THE CURLY SQUAD

(Tuesday 17:00)

Jamie Potter: good riddance

thx marls

Marlene McKinnon: got u covered hon

now spill

Jamie Potter: i hv a date with lil on friday:)

Lily Evans: that she does;)

Marlene McKinnon: i demand details ppl

(Dorcas Meadows has removed Marlene McKinnon from the group chat)

Remus Lupin: wh did u do that for

Dorcas Meadowes: She was being too nosy

I didn't like it

Jamie Potter:.........thx??

Dorcas Meadowes: Welcome sweetie

_________

THE CURLY SQUAD

(Tuesday 17:34)

Mary Macdonald: wait what????!!!!!??!

__________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Wednesday 16:30)

Sirius Black: r v up for spying on them on fri?

Marlene Mckinnon: u kno it;)

Mary Macdonald: hell yeah

Peter Pettigrew: Yes! ofc

Remus Lupin: we should give them some privacy sirius

tho ik its a foreign concept to you

Dorcas Meadowes: Obviously

And of course I wanna spy on them

Remus Lupin: but still...yes

Sirius Black: ther is no privacy between frnds

YAAY

Marlene Mckinnon: so v meet up at 4 outside the bistro next to three broomsticks

Peter Pettigrew: Wait when’s their date and where?!??

Mary Macdonald: at 5 in 3 broomsticks pete cmon keep up

Remus Lupin: how did u know that?

Sirius Black: im her brother and both their best frnds its obvio that id be the first one to kno

Marlene Mckinnon: and im lilys best frnd too sirius

Dorcas Meadows: You spied on them didnt you?

Sirius Black: v hv all the rights to spy on them

Mary Macdonald: wait i thought that i was lilys best frnd

Dorcas Meadowes: I can confidently say that it’s neither of you

I’m her best friend

Sirius Black: prove it

Marlene Mckinnon: yeah!

Dorcas Meadowes: (sends an attachment)

Marlene Mckinnon: shit

Mary Macdonald: …...fair

___________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans

(Thursday 19:45)

Jamie Potter: cant wait for our date tomorrow

Lily Evans: ik u cant

Jamie Potter:

Lily Evans: <3

;)

______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Sirius Black

(Thursday 19:48)

Jamie Potter: sirius sirius sirius

lily just sent me a winky face emoticon!!!!

what do i do???!!!?!!!?!?!

(Message read at 19:49)

______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans

(Thursday 19:51)

Jamie Potter: :D

_______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans

(Friday 16:30)

Jamie Potter: u ready?

Lily Evans: yes !

wher r u

Jamie Potter: cool

just reached ur door

______________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:30)

Sirius Black: where tf r u guys

its only me and marlene here

Mary Macdonald: just outta class

be there in 10

Remus Lupin: home

Peter Pettigrew: At the ice cream parlor for ice cream

Dorcas Meadows: Oh get me some too Pete?

Remus Lupin: me too pls pete

Mary Macdonald: oooh id like some too

mint chocolate chip for me pls

Peter Pettigrew: Sure thing! wh abt the rest of u??

Dorcas Meadowes : Strawberry! with a lot of strawberries as toppings!!!

Remus Lupin : devils choc ofc

Sirius Black : guys can v focus at the matter in hand??!!

also charcoal ice cream pls

just as black as my soul

Peter Pettigrew : ...k

U marls??

Marlene Mckinnon:..........vanilla. thx

____________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:45)

Sirius Black: where tf r u guys?!!??!?

theyll b here any sec

Remus Lupin: sirius everyone is here

except for u and marlene

where tf r u guys?!!???

Marlene McKinnon: we r at the spirit store

where tf r u guys????

Sirius Black: i told u guys to meet us here

Dorcas Meadowes: Wtf is a spirit store?

Sirius Black: a store that sees our spirit

Peter Pettigrew: Ur ice creams starting to melt!!!!!!

Mary MacDonald: oh the halloween costume shop?

why?

Sirius Black: to dress up ofc

Marlene Mckinnon: honesty guys?

lily and jamie will recognise us if v go like this

and v cant afford that!!!!

Remus Lupin: that is smart….

didnt expect it from u both

Sirius Black: fuck you remus

fuck you

Dorcas Meadowes: So what are our disguises??

Marlene McKinnon: dog ears and nose

a gily suit

a moon suit

rat whiskers and ears

a tree hat and glasses

and a big floppy hat and sunglasses for my beautiful girlfriend

Dorcas Meadowes: ………….

Peter Pettigrew: Dorcas and remus took ur ice cream btw

Something about it melting, u being stupid and u not being here

Sirius Black: remy how could u

Marlene McKinnon: ffs dorcas

i thought u loved me

Peter Pettigrew: Who’s wearing what costume?

Remus Lupin: also sirius

do u really think that we can pull it off?

itd be tooo obvious

Mary Macdonald: nd theyll realise that we r spying on them

Sirius Black: they couldnt even realise that they had a crush on each other until i intervened

do you think that theyll realise that its us???????

Remus Lupin: …...point

Sirius Black: so im wearing the dog ears and nose

marls gonna wear the gily suit

the moon hat and the silver suit is for u remus

Marlene Mckinnon: the rat whiskers r for peter

and the tree hat and sunglasses r for mary :)

____________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:55)

Sirius Black: ok now positions!

marlene mary and i r sitting in the booth behind the big fat hydrangea

nd remus peter nd dorcas r gonna sit 2 rows behind them in the corner table outside

Peter Pettigrew: How do u even know where the r gonna sit?????!!!!!???

Marlene Mckinnon: v bribed the receptionist obviously

Sirius Black: she will make sure that they sit second in the row between the hydrangeas and the window

Remus Lupin: how can v hear them if v r outside??

Marlene Mckinnon: oh hush remus

ever heard of privacy?

Remus Lupin: wtf do u think we r doing rn??!!?!??!?!!

Dorcas Meadowes: Making sure the date goes perfectly?

Sirius Black: thank u dorcas

Mary Macdonald: yeah!

exactly

Remus Lupin: …………

i give up

Peter Pettigrew: Just now?

Thought u gave up when Jamie successfully insulted Lily two yers back when in fact she was supposed to ask her out on a date :/

Sirius Black: that was a good laugh

___________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 17:04)

Peter Pettigrew: Ok they’re sitting rn

Dorcas Meadowes: Don’t they look cute together

Remus Lupin: do i hv to wear this silvery rocky suit?!??!

Sirius Black: yes

and yes they look perfect

our ship is finally sailing

Dorcas Meadowes: Is is is Jamie stuffing a breadstick in her nose

Peter Pettigrew: No I think she’s trying to look like a walrus

Remus Lupin: she does not need to embarrass herself more

Mary Macdonald: u really think this is anything compared to the time when she tripped over her cat and fell on lilys bday cake?

Sirius Black: lolol

the bruise she left him with lasted for two weeks

Dorcas Meadowes: I stg that woman has the best boxing skills

Marlene Mckinnon: dorcas!!!! not me????

im ur girlfriend!!!

Mary Macdonald: lolololol

she thought that jamie did it on purpose for years lol

Marlene McKinnon: and why tf is lily doing the same

i thought she had more sense than that

Remus Lupin: love can do that to you ya know

Sirius Black: u would know

Marlene McKinnon: ohhh look jamie snorted the breadstick out of her mouth!!

neat

Mary Macdonald: lily did it too

Mary Macdonald: i think she has enough sense to not offend lily

Remus Lupin: ya think?

u want me to remind u about all the times she offended lily?

Peter Pettigrew: Yeah so much that she hated Jamie

Sirius Black: nah she didnt

if anything lily hates how much she likes her now

Marlene Mckinnon: do u think theyll order soup?

Sirius Black: yeah ig

jamie wants it to be all fancy

Marlene McKinnon: pls dont order tomato soup

Mary Macdonald: it awfully looked a lot like the waiter said no tomato soup

Peter Pettigrew: Really? Lily hates tomatoes why would Jamie order em

Thought she wouldn’t today

At least

Sirius Black: thank hell jamie didnt order the tomato one

Dorcas Meadowes: Remember when Jamie made marinara for Lily to impress her lol

Remus Lupin: that plan backfired soo bad

Marlene Mckinnon at least lilys prank to get back at her was awesome

Sirius Black: that was such a power move!!!

and including taylor’s song

shehgeueytoaknd

Remus Lupin: tho she coloured her cat the so called emerald green and not key lime green and v had to listen to her go on and on abt how lily knows her fav colour

Mary Macdonald: jamie continued to think that it meant that she knew it for three months

Dorcas Meadowes: As if u didnt like it

Mary Macdonald: lol i did love it

Peter Pettigrew: They are bonkers

Dorcas Meadowes: Bonkers for each other

Sirius Black: lol

Dorcas Meadowes: Their soup’s here

Sirius Black: spinach soup???

ewww jamie

Peter Pettigrew: Ahh creamy mushroom soup for Lil ig

Awesome choice

Mary Macdonald: they really ought to try new things

smh

___________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 17:16)

Remus Lupin: wh did u guys order?

we ordered a lasagna

Marlene Mckinnon:?uhh same

ohhh look

Peter Pettigrew: The waiter’s back with pasta for both of them YAY

Do you guys think that they realised that we are spying on them??

Marlene Mckinnon: nah they’re hopeless Pete so no

Sirius Black: thank hell that they r cute

Remus Lupin: lol

Dorcas Meadowes: 3 yrs ago I wouldnt have thought that they would be here together on a date

Mary Macdonald: hell they woulnt have even been here as friends

Remus Lupin: or come here with us

Marlene Mckinnon: lily didnt even kno that she is bi then

Dorcas Meadowes: Yeah

It was quite a rough time for her

Peter Pettigrew: Guyssss

I have a question

Dorcas Meadowes: Shoot Pete

Peter Pettigrew: Why is the group name curly squad?

I mean only Dorcas’s hair is curly I only gathered that much

Dorcas Meadowes: Lol no Pete

Sirius Black: LOLOLOL

Marlene Mckinnon: lolll

Dorcas Meadowes Ohk so

None of us here are just straight so we’re curly lol

Sirius Black: lil nd i r bi

u r ace

dorcas nd mary r pans

remus is gay

jamie is lesbian

Marlene Mckinnon: i am bi too

u already knew that but still

Sirius Black: so yeah thats why

Peter Pettigrew: Oh wow

Thanks guys

Sirius Black: np pete

Peter Pettigrew: Jamie just leaned over to brush the remnants of pasta from lilys lips!!!!!!!!

Mary Macdonald: thats soo cute they r perfect

Sirius Black: nauseating more like

Dorcas Meadowes: I’m just revelling in the fact that she didnt brush him off

Marlene Mckinnon: thats second year of uni lily

even first fits in the category

Peter Pettigrew: and she held her hand!!!!!

Bold

Sirius Black: is that…...snep

Remus Lupin: snep?????

Dorcas Meadowes: Where

Sirius Black: behind u guys

Remus Lupin: OHHHH FUCK

Mary Macdonald: do u think that he knows abt their date

Sirius Black: well jamie did post it on her insta so…….

Dorcas Meadowes: Oh shit

Peter Pettigrew: Shit alright

Marlene Mckinnon: hes coming over ig

Mary Macdonald: yup hes in

Sirius Black: WHYYYYYY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME GOD

COULDNT YOU LET MY SHIP LIVE IN PEACE!!!!

Remus Lupin: well u know what they say abt cannons sinking a ship :/

Sirius Black: remus theodore lupin u dare say that jily lames is not cannon

Marlene Mckinnon: remus ralph lupin wtf

Dorcas Meadowes: Remy, how could you?

Peter Pettigrew: Why would you say that Remus?

Mary Macdonald: remus john lupin u take that back right this instant

oh we r playing call remus wrong names

sry I didnt realise

Remus Lupin: i am sry guys I ship jily as much as u do

Sirius Black: LAMES

Remus Lupin: but i had to lol

i think v should go stop him from disturbing them

Mary Macdonald: hes already headed their way

its too late

Marlene Mckinnon: i s2g i will punch snep today if he does anything to them

Sirius Black: ill tackle him

Marlene McKinnon: perfect

Mary Macdonald: v might blow our cover too

not that im worried abt that

tho they might not appreciate the sentiment

Sirius Black: v shld go

Dorcas Meadowes: I feel like they'll want to handle this themselves

But ok!

Mary Macdonald: ok he hates u and remus the most so dorcas and i should go first

Sirius Black: but im their best friend

Dorcas Meadowes: Too late they’re already talking

Sirius Black: NOOOOOO

Remus Lupin: ig he just mentioned siris name

Sirius Black: seems that way

if he says anything abt jamie or reg i will lose it

Dorcas Meadowes: I think he’s berating lily for being out with jamie….

Mary Macdonald: ofc what else does the greasy slime ball know

Sirius Black: ok im gonna go

Peter Pettigrew: How to grease your hair 101??

Sirius Black: lol yes

Marlene Mckinnon: is he

is he pointing over to us

Mary Macdonald:k they r looking at us

Peter Pettigrew: Did Lily just call ur name out, guys?

Dorcas Meadowes: Mary, make sure Marls and Sirius don’t do anything stupid

_________

“Sirius, no!” Remus shouted, as the boy in question marched over to Jamie’s and Lily’s table.

“Well, hello there snivellus. Looking positively greasy today aren’t we?” Sirius taunted.

“What are you doing here Black?” Snape sneered.

Sirius hummed before responding, “We just fancied a dinner here. What about you?”

“Looking for something to grease?” Marlene chimed.

“Marlene,” Lily warned.

“Thought I’d visit my friend Lily here. That’s all Black,” Snape answered.

“More like crash her date,” Dorcas muttered, as she joined the group around Lily and Jamie’s table with Remus, Mary, and Peter.

“I am not your friend Snape.” Lily stood up, accompanied by Jamie.

“Lily!” The greasy haired man faced her pleadingly, “I care about you a lot. That’s why I’m telling you to not date Potter! Thinking that you’re bi may well just be a phase that’ll go away, Lily. Moreover, she doesn’t really care about you! She just thinks that you are some sort of prize to be won.”

Jamie looked like she wanted to dislocate Snape’s jaw, her fists curled at her sides. But the warning glance Lily threw her, made her insides calm down

“You know nothing about me Snape,” Lily said, with gritted teeth. “Now go away before I dislocate your nose.” Sirius whistled in support.

“Lily, we’ve been best friends since we were ten. I know you, Lily. Please listen to me,”

“If you were my best friend you’d have supported me instead of behaving like an ignorant ass. Now please go away.”

“Lily, please.”

Barely a moment later, Lily’s fist connected with Snape’s nose. Blood leaked down his front, while the rest of the gang rushed to vocally support her.

“You’ll regret that Lily!” Snape glared threateningly.

Before long, Sirius had tackled Snape to the ground, and accidentally splattered the lasagna the waiter was bringing over to their table, on Snape’s head.

“I...“ Lily began.

“You can save your breath, Lils,” Sirius started, “he’s a harmless, entitled prick”

“Looks like you have a lot of grease to get rid of, Snep,” Marlene announced.

“And Snep, pro tip: the only shampoo that keeps the grease at bay is the Sleakeasy shampoo. You should try it out!” Jamie, ever so helpful, advised, and moved to position her hand behind Lily’s back.

“Sorry about that Sir, we’ll cover the charges for the ill-fated lasagna,” Sirius apologised to the waiter as he helped him up from the ground.

“Could you please get him out of this shop? He’s been troubling us, as you can see,” Dorcas asked, politely.

The waiter simply looked baffled. However, he nodded and successfully escorted Snape out of the restaurant.

“Now this is going to be quite the first date story to tell at the wedding.” Peter spoke up for the first time since they gathered at the table between the hydrangeas and the windows.

Jamie blushed and looked around, anywhere but at Lily, though her hand never left Lily’s back, while the redhead laughed at her.

“Well, since we’re all together, we can have dessert and you can continue spying on us while sitting at our table,” Lily said. “Nice ears you’ve got there, Sirius. Though I’d prefer Dorcas’s floppy hat.”

“Yeah! I personally love the whiskers, Pete. Seriously, Marlene? A gily suit? Inconspicuous much? And Remus, you have enough sense to stop them!” Jamie put on.

Remus just shrugged, his big crescent shaped moon hat toppling Mary’s tree hat downwards. “Sorry,” he said, bending to pick it up.

“Thanks,” she said, when he gave the hat to her, “why did we agree to wear these again?”

“So we would be incognito, Mary”

“And we were successful! These oblivious dorks didn’t even realise that it was us until old snivelly pointed it out,” Sirius stated.

“Also, we did have ice-cream before coming here, so you guys should continue, we’ll leave,” Dorcas said.

“Hey! We didn’t get to eat that ice-cream! You and Remus took it from us,” Marlene reprimanded.

“Yeah! So we’ll be staying here and you guys can shoo away,” Sirius included.

“Well in that case you can all leave and get yourselves ice cream while Lily and I can finally enjoy our date,” Jamie, now pushing Sirius, and shoo-ing the others to the doors, said.

“Say what you want Jamie, I am enjoying our date,” expressed Lily.

“You are?” Jamie turned around, completely forgetting the others in the room.

“Well, looks like they’re more nauseating and lame than before. Should we go?” Asked Marlene.

“Nah. Let’s just sit outside and spy on them through the window,” Sirius smirked.

34 notes · View notes

clumsyclifford · 4 years ago

Note

hi! idk if you're still doing the prompts but if you are #47? whatever pairing you're vibing with atm 😊 -🦥

HELLO! first of all, the pairing bot gave me malum after it gave me cashton twice but i didn’t feel like doing this for cashton so i wrote it malum, hope that’s cool. ALSO. one day i am going to write a real proper epistolary fic, mark my words, but for now this is all i have to offer you. i know it’s rather different from like. a Normal fic. but i had fun writing it so :)

read on ao3

Dear Calum,

My mum suggested I write you a letter because of the whole data thing in Brazil. I don’t know what that really means but apparently calling would be extremely expensive so I’m doing this now. Maybe it’s weird. Don’t really care. Deal with it.

So how is Brazil? I don’t know the time difference. Wait, I can look it up. Google says 13 hours. That means you’re a day behind me half the time. I’m in your future! It doesn’t look good for you, Cal. Future is pretty grim. If I were you I would stay in the past. Although by the time you get this it will be way in the future for both of us…oops. Oh well. I tried.

Anyway. What was I saying. Brazil? How is it? Hot, I bet. Probably playing loads of football. Luke and I have been playing FIFA but it’s so not the same. He sucks at it and he doesn’t even cheat because he’s boring I guess or has “morals” or whatever (his words not mine). I miss playing FIFA with you. Always beating Luke is not fun. Okay it’s a little fun. But I still miss you. As soon as you’re back you’re reclaiming the player 2 controller. Did I mention that I miss you? You probably get it.

What can I update you about here? There’s not a lot to say. Nothing has really happened. At least not in my life. Oh! I can tell you a secret but don’t tell Luke I told you because he will definitely kill me. Not that you have any way to reach Luke. Don’t go behind my back and write a letter to Luke telling him I told you this. Anyway: Luke fancies Ashton! I totally got him to admit it during one of the FIFA games I mentioned. It was almost cute if I’m honest. He turned really red and got all blushy and stammery. I am now wondering if I should meddle or not. On the one hand, Ashton must like him back, right? Have you seen the two of them? I don’t want to deal with intra-band sexual tension. Unless it’s ours. We’ve already claimed the “insufferable band boyfriends” role though, so do we really want this to happen? I don’t really know what I’m arguing anymore. I don’t think I’ll do anything for now. Will keep you updated in case anything dramatic happens. Then again I have no idea how long it’ll be before you receive this. Something very dramatic might happen while this is in the post. Let me ask my mum. Okay she says it could be two weeks. That’s fucking long. You might just have to come back and get the Luke/Ashton updates in real time.

Besides from that there isn’t much to report. Everything is the same. Except I’m a lot lonelier now. This is what you’ve done to me Calum. I’m returning to my natural introvert state. I need you here, Cal!! Otherwise I’ll just have to become a turtle and by the time you’re back it might be too late.

I’m joking by the way. I hope you’re having a good time at football camp. Making new friends and learning Brazilian(?) Portuguese and kicking everyone’s arse and showing them up. I’m sure you are. I just miss you lots. :( Counting down the days!

Sending you lots of kisses and cuddles through the post,

Mikey

Dear Michael,

I don’t care either! I think writing letters is cool. We’re like lovers at war. Except neither of us are going to die. Probably. (Some of these footballers are CRAZY good. You never know!)

Actually, Brazil is pretty nice. It’s winter so the days have actually been not too hot, thankfully. It’s exhausting enough playing as it is. If it got any hotter, I might actually pass out. Forever. They’d have to ship me home in a body bag. (Are those only for dead people? Maybe not a body bag.)

It’s been almost two weeks since you sent your letter (I assume you sent it soon after I left?) which means there’s a good chance this one won’t get to you until I do, but in case it does I’m going to write and post it anyway. I hope by now you’re getting on better with Luke. If I’ve said it once or a million times, you guys have a lot in common and I really think you could be best friends if you weren’t both such stubborn shitheads. Which I say in the nicest way possible!

Of course Luke fancies Ashton, he’s liked Ashton since…honestly I don’t know when. Months and months at least. And Ashton clearly likes him back. I’ve never seen two people less capable of hiding their feelings. I’m surprised you didn’t notice before. Please tell me you decided to meddle in the end. You’re right, we can’t handle more sexual tension in the band. Don’t worry, they can’t possibly be more insufferable than we are. We are the most annoying boyfriends on the planet. We’re writing each other letters. Basically, it’s best for everyone involved if they get over themselves. Suck it up and kiss already! My friend Gustavo agrees with me. Also he says hi. (Well he says “oi” but I translated for you. See, I can do stuff like that. Kinda cool, right?)

I miss you too, you know. Very much. This might sound weird, but I keep having dreams about you? Like…I’ll be dreaming about whatever (usually football these days) and then you’ll just be there. Clearly my subconscious also knows I miss you. You know Ashton says that when you dream about someone, it’s because they’re thinking about you, so I hope that’s true. It’s kind of a cute idea. I hope you’re thinking about me. I’m thinking about you. Obviously. A lot. A lot.

There is one thing I want to tell you, though. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this, and the more I think about it the crazier it feels, but also more right. So…I think I’m gonna do the band. Not football. This is cool and all, but everyone here is so scary good, and…I don’t know. Maybe this is stupid but I don’t like the idea of a future without you when I could have a future with you. Like with the band, I mean. And I know it’s not the most practical dream, but imagine how cool it would be if it actually worked out. You know I like a challenge. So, anyway…that’s kind of where I’m at now. I’m going to keep thinking about it for the last two weeks here, but I don’t think I’ll change my mind. Don’t tell anyone, please. I just wanted to tell you as soon as I knew. My parents are going to be soooo mad. Not excited to tell them, but this feels like the right decision.

Anyway…this got weirdly deep. Sorry. Here’s something super not-deep to make up for it: one of the football coaches here has a dog whose name in English is pasta! PASTA! (It might be apple. Apparently they’re the same word just spelled differently and the Brazilians here can clearly tell the difference. I cannot. But I think it’s way funnier if the dog’s name is pasta so I’m going with that. Not that apple is much better? Imagine seeing any dog at all and thinking, “You know what this dog’s name should be? A common food item.” LOL.)

This letter is so long and I’m running out of space on the page and I also really need to go to sleep! The boys are telling me to turn off the lights. I miss you so much. Football camp is fun, but I can’t wait to be back. Counting down the days!

Thank you for the cuddles and kisses I am sending them right back to you,

Cal

“Oh my God,” Michael mumbles into Calum’s shoulder, “you smell.”

Calum laughs, but he doesn’t loosen his grip on Michael. “Seriously? I haven’t seen you in a whole month and that’s the first thing you say?”

“Ugh, I missed you so much, but that’s boring to say, you already knew it,” Michael says, drawing back to kiss Calum for a second. Then he buries his face in Calum’s neck. “Seriously, I’m not joking, if you ever leave me alone for that long again, I will die.”

“You had Luke. And Ashton.”

Michael groans loudly and overdramatically. “Ashton is busy with family stuff all the time and don’t you dare compare yourself to Luke.”

“We’re going to talk about this,” Calum says. “You’re going to be friends with him if it kills me.”

“Then prepare to die,” Michael says. Calum laughs, pressing a kiss to the slope of Michael’s neck. “I tried, okay? I promise I did. I said in my letter we were playing FIFA! Did you get my letter? I didn’t know how to check if it ever actually arrived.”

“I got it,” Calum says, stomach lurching with nerves. Ignoring them for the moment, he squeezes Michael and then steps back to give him a full once-over. “I loved it. It made me laugh. God, I really missed you, you know?”

“Join the fucking club,” Michael says, smiling. He’s been smiling this whole time, Calum realises; he’s just good at sounding like he’s whining even when he’s smiling. That’s probably the most Michael thing Michael can do.

“Alright, boys,” Mali says from a ways away. “Come on. Let’s go. And seriously, Calum? You hug Michael but not me?”

Calum throws his arms around Mali, and Mali wraps him in a hug. “Missed you,” Calum says sweetly in her ear. “Thank you for coming to get me. And for bringing Michael.”

“You’re welcome,” Mali says drily. They separate and Mali just gives him a small smile. “And I missed you too, you punk. Come on, you both. Baggage claim awaits.”

Mali takes off and Calum lingers behind until he can throw an arm over Michael’s shoulder. Michael leans heavily into him. It’s been so long since the last time Calum had Michael in his arms, but it’s so immediately familiar that it almost knocks Calum off his feet.

“So…” Calum bites his lip. “Did you get my letter? I sent it just after yours arrived, but I don’t know if it got here before me.”

Michael shakes his head. “Nope, nothing.” Something in his voice tells Calum he’s making no mistake. He’d probably checked the mail every day, just to see. There’s a pang in Calum’s chest, all mixed up with the anxiety flitting out to his fingertips from inside his rib cage.

“Oh,” Calum says. “Well, there was something in there that I wanted to tell you, but I guess I’ll just tell you now. Um.” He drops his voice to a half-whisper, clears his throat. “I don’t want to tell Mali or anyone yet, but…I decided I’m not going to do football.”

Michael jerks. “What?”

“I want to be in the band,” Calum says quietly. His heart is racing, but at least it’s racing towards the finish line instead of away. This is the right decision. He’s…ninety-five percent sure. That’s enough to know. It has to be enough to know. “I just, you know, football is fun, but music is more fun. To me. And anyway, um.” He rubs the back of his neck. “If I have a choice between a career that has you in it or one that doesn’t, I choose you. Obviously.”

“You’re gonna be in the band?” Michael repeats lowly, looking over at Calum like he’s seeing something he’s never seen before. “Seriously? You’d give up football?”

Calum shrugs, nods. “Yeah. I know my parents are going to kill me, but I don’t care. This is what I want.”

Michael stares at him. “I love you,” he says, and then kisses Calum too fiercely to give Calum adequate time to process that.

By the time they break apart, he’s processed it. And as he inhales to catch his breath, licking his lips, he knows with one-hundred-percent certainty that this is the right choice.

“I love you too,” Calum says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Where Michael is concerned, it usually is.

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hotchley · 4 years ago

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“how am i a whore?”

morehotchcontent day three: tooth rotting fluff (a cooking lesson/ “i love you more.” “impossible.”

tagged: @ablogofthecriminalmindsvariety @whoreforthebauteam (the hotpocket references come from their fic, found family)

as always, they didn’t all cook. after the first time, they’d arrived at the conclusion that spencer, emily and [enelope should not be trusted with any sort of cooking utensil, and so the three of them stood to the side, watching and assisting.

jj’s would go home to will and henry, who were both always eager to try out her new dishes.

derek’s would be the only one actually consumed on the day, because he was one of the only competent cooks. well, dave called him competent. which meant he was actually a wonderful example of how to boil spaghetti properly- because yes, spencer had set the smoke alarm off by burning boiling water. how, dave had no idea. aaron was helping dave this time, and theirs would go in the fridge for jessica and jack.

a cooking lesson at rossi’s is also the subtle reveal of a relationship

i can’t write fluff okay? please don’t be too judgemental.

read of ao3!

When David Rossi woke up on a sunny Friday morning, Hotch wasn’t in bed. He sighed, assuming that meant his partner had already left for work, but hadn’t wanted to disrupt him. One of these days, he was going to forcefully prevent Aaron from leaving before eight.

But when he exited the bathroom to get dressed, Aaron was perched on the edge, a tray next to him.

“Hi Dave,” he greeted shyly.

Dave smiled. He was the only one that ever got to see Aaron like this: messy hair, Harvard sweatshirt and jogging bottoms, feet bare and wide grin on his face.

“Good morning my darling,” Dave replied. After he discovered that his partner was an absolute sucker for cute nicknames, he started finding any and all excuse to use them.

Aaron blushed, the same way he always did when he was the centre of Dave’s attention. It never failed to make Dave’s heart melt. As he went over to kiss his partner, he took stock of what was on the tray. Two mugs of coffee. A plate of pancakes for each of them. Aaron’s were covered in syrup and marshmallows, his own just a thin dusting of icing sugar and some berries.

“Well, whatever did I do to deserve this treatment?” Dave asked.

Aaron started fiddling with the bedcovers, not quite meeting his partner’s eyes.

Dave pressed two fingers to his chin and tilted his face upwards. He smirked at the slight exhale Aaron released. “Tell me.”

“Well, you know how the team are coming over tonight? For the cooking lesson?”

Dave nodded. Cooking lessons had become a monthly tradition within the BAU. He liked to pretend it was a massive inconvenience to him and his life, but actually it was one of the things he looked forward to the most. Not only was it a chance for him to get his family together and help keep them alive by feeding them actual food (because Aaron, hotpockets aren’t real food), and show off his own culinary skills, it was also an opportunity to watch aforementioned profiler in his kitchen. And whilst Aaron was careful to never betray too much knowledge of his kitchen, it was still nice to watch him move around with ease.

It was domestic.

“Yes, I am aware of that. Why? Did something happen?” Dave asked, careful to keep his voice gentle.

“No. It’s just- I want to tell them. Or at least make it obvious,” Aaron blurted out.

Dave stared at him. “Are you sure? I know I like to show off the beautiful things in my life, but if you aren’t ready, then we don’t need to rush.”

Aaron shook his head. “Wait, no, I am ready. And maybe… maybe I want you to show me off? Just a little bit? Not too much. Just enough to make Strauss a little bit jealous. Like a really small amount.”

Dave’s jaw dropped. “You little minx. Who knew the stoic and uptight Aaron Hotchner wanted to turn up to work all marked up because he knew of the short fling between his boss and his partner? Imagine the field day Garcia would have with that information.”

In response, Aaron pushed Dave away slightly, careful to not spill any off the coffee. “Shut up. I hate you.”

“You love me,” Dave sang as he slid off the bed to go and get dressed for the day.

“Why is completely beyond me, but yes, yes I do,” Hotch said with a sigh, as he himself also started to tame his unruly hair and change out of his pyjamas into the suit that Rossi handed him with a smirk, because he knew how good Aaron would look in it.

And maybe it had something to do with the fact that when they both went to pick up Jack and the other parents would stare at him, Dave would be able to link their pinkies and Aaron would give him that small, subtle smile reserved only for him.

“I’m so excited for tonight! What are we making?” Garcia asked, as soon as Rossi had taken his seat beside her in their morning briefing.

“That’s for me to know and for you to discover later,” Rossi teased.

“No, that isn’t fair! The others can just profile the answer out of you. I’m not like that. Please tell me,” she pleaded.

Rossi shook his head, smiling when she pouted.

Hotch entered a moment later, and Rossi was careful to school his features into a look of neutrality. It would definitely raise suspicions to be smiling when Hotch was talking about Strauss coming to observe the way they worked when based in Quantico.

7pm was fast approaching, and Rossi was beginning to wonder what exactly Hotch was doing. He wasn’t worried that he’d passed out or anything like that, but it wasn’t like him to take so long getting ready. If an event was casual, the most he’d do would be to change into a polo shirt and jeans. Which took a maximum of ten minutes if Dave wasn’t in the room.

Hotch had been getting ready for a good forty minutes now. In that time, Rossi had wiped down the kitchen, repositioned the photo of him, Aaron and Jack at the zoo (it had been kindly taken by Jessica) so that it wasn’t hidden, and set up the dinner table.

When Aaron came down, Rossi didn’t immediately turn.

“I was beginning to worry about you. If you don’t want to go through with this, you don’t have to,” he said, careful to keep his tone light but his words serious.

“Could you turn around before you make assumptions?” Aaron said.

Dave turned.

Aaron was wearing his shirt. There was no way it could be mistaken for his own, because Aaron would never wear purple, despite Dave constantly saying it enhanced his beauty- because every colour looked stunning on him. And it was a little bigger on him than it was on Dave.

“I’m now very tempted to call this cooking lesson off,” he commented.

Aaron blushed, but smiled nonetheless. “Please don’t do that. I was actually looking forward to you making pesto pasta.”

Dave wrapped his arms around Hotch’s waist, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder. “You look stunning, my darling rose. Absolutely stunning.”

Hotch snorted. “Darling rose? Really?”

“I can and will start calling you Hotpocket if you insult another one of my nicknames,” Dave threatened.

“I love your nicknames for me. And you. I love you,” Aaron said.

“I love you as well darling. Now, any moment now Penelope is going to arrive, so prepare yourself.”

He was right. A few moments later, the doorbell rang to reveal their technical analyst with a cheesecake. As Dave answered the door, she didn’t see Hotch till she entered the kitchen, where he was sat, casually looking over the recipe nobody else was allowed to see.

“Well hello sir! That shirt looks much better on you than it ever did on Rossi- no offence,” she said.

Hotch visibly relaxed, the tension in his shoulders bleeding off of him. “Thank you Pen,” he said. “I like your butterfly clip.”

She grinned. He gave her a small smile.

The others noticed Hotch’s attire, the ease with which he moved round Dave’s kitchen. The photo on his coffee table also indicated a family, as did the drawings pinned to the fridge with magnets. But nobody commented. They knew Hotch. They knew the only reason he did this was because he wanted them to know, not because he wanted a congratulations.

As always, they didn’t all cook. After the first time, they’d arrived at the conclusion that Spencer, Emily and Penelope should not be trusted with any sort of cooking utensil, and so the three of them stood to the side, watching and assisting.

JJ’s would go home to Will and Henry, who were both always eager to try out her new dishes.

Derek’s would be the only one actually consumed on the day, because he was one of the only competent cooks. Well, Dave called him competent. Which meant he was actually a wonderful example of how to boil spaghetti properly- because yes, Spencer had set the smoke alarm off by burning boiling water. How, Dave had no idea. Aaron was helping Dave this time, and theirs would go in the fridge for Jessica and Jack.

When the day was over, and everyone was leaving, Hotch seemed hesitant to let them go.

Garcia realised first, and hugged him tightly, She whispered something that Rossi didn’t hear, but he could only assume what had happened, based on her smirk and the slight rosiness of Hotch’s cheeks. JJ kissed him on the cheek, said that he couldn’t blame this one on gas, before grabbing her coat and leaving. Morgan patted him on the shoulder, a silent conversation between the two leaders. Dave almost felt like he was intruding on a private moment. Emily just winked at the two of them before leaving. Spencer rocked back and forth on his heels for a few moments before also hugging his unit chief.

“I’m just- you’re the first parent that taught me what it means to actually love someone, and I’m glad that you’re happy and in love because you deserve it,” he said. Hotch found himself cradling Reid’s head, the same way he often did to Jack. “Thanks Spence,” he said, voice a little rough.

Reid pulled away, hastily waving goodbye to Dave before he left.

Aaron let out a sigh of relief.

“Are you glad they know?” Dave asked, hugging him from behind.

Aaron nodded. “They’re our family. I feel like now, there are no more secrets. And I can relax.”

“Will you dance with me before you do that?” Dave blurted out. Truthfully, he’d been thinking of dancing with Aaron for a while now, just so he could hold him close and feel his heartbeat steadily against his own.

“I- of course. But I haven’t danced since- in a while. So,” he said.

“That’s okay. Let me lead you,” Dave said, moving Aaron’s arms so they were positioned correctly. There was no music, aside from the occasional sighs that left his mouth, and the slightly repressed gasp of pain that came from Aaron stepping on his toes.

“I love you,” Aaron whispered, when they finally stopped moving.

“I love you more,” Dave said, feeling very much like a teenager.

“Impossible,” Aaron said, mock-offended.

“Whatever you say, Hotpocket,” Dave teased.

Aaron grabbed the nearest cushion and threw it at him.

They ended up falling asleep on the floor, surrounded by all of the fancy cushions Dave had spent precious hours positioning just perfectly.

But it was worth it for the smile that greeted him the next morning, when Aaron realised exactly what they’d done last night.

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maxbegone · 5 years ago

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Schitt’s Creek Fic Recs

In lieu of everything upturned and crazy in the world right now, I wanted to go ahead and share some of my favorite sc fics! You can see them all below the cut!

Warning: There is a lot!

He Sees You by Distractivate

summary: Patrick gets glasses and thinks about identity. David helps.

why you should read it: It’s a little fic about Patrick getting glasses but it’s more than that, really. It’s about Patrick finding himself, and it’s about David loving him through it. It’s sweet, futurefic, and husbands!

my heart was broke, my head was sore by blueink3

summary: the morning after Grad Night goes somewhat differently when Patrick gets a call from home.

why you should read it: This was the first fic I read since coming into this fandom. I’m not usually one to delve into anything that diverges too much from canon, but this was just too sweet. I’ve come back to it so many times. And as with anything, Marcy Brewer is an absolute blessing.

they paved paradise by blueink3

summary: Patrick wakes up five years in the past. He reacts accordingly.

why you should read it: I don’t usually jump to read magical realism or even AUs, but this just hit it out of the park. What truly makes it is Marcy and Clint’s unwavering support for Patrick despite the situation. It’s good to know that’s a constant in every timeline.

Cleanser by @cypress-tree

summary: David teaches Patrick about skincare (David teaches Patrick about a lot of things).

why you should read it: This fic right here is the definition of self care! Put on a face mask! Do your skincare regimen! Make some tea! Put on a cozy bathrobe and read this fic that is literally balm to the soul! (If I told you that I wore a facemask while reading this, would you believe me?)

You Could Be The One by bigficenergy

summary: David has big feelings about Patrick, and he's listening to a lot of Carly Rae Jepsen about it.

why you should read it: I’m not a fan of CRJ, but that didn’t stop me from reading this. I’m usually a sucker for oneshots, I don’t love chaptered or even longer fics. All of David and Patrick’s big moments paired with a bunch of Carly Rae Jepsen lyrics make for a cute little story that delves into missing scenes. Chapter 6 is by far my favorite in the entire fic. Boyfriends! In! Suits! And they’re both breathtaking!

This Will Be Our Year: An Epistolary Peek by MeadowHarvest

summary: A random sampling of text message images from the year after the finale.

why you should read it: It’s a texting fic! What more could you ask for? But seriously, you need to read it! It’s full of funny insights and there’s a goose in an American flag dress that will make sense I promise you. It’s a running joke.

No Matter What by my_middle_name_is_awkward

summary: The Soulmate AU where everything is the same except everyone has a soulmate and you can feel your soulmate’s physical pain.

why you should read it: I was a total sucker for soulmate AUs for a very long time. I said earlier that I don’t love AUs - this category is an exception. Really it’s David and Patrick falling in love like they always do, but this time they’re soulmates. They’re also big dummies who miss every single clue that tells them they are soulmates. @stuck-on-your-heart had it in her ficrec bingo earlier tonight so I immediately read it and said, “This needs to be shared with more people.”

Exposed Brick by swat177

summary: Three years down the line, Rose Apothecary opens a holiday pop-up shop in Brooklyn. David and Patrick head to the ~city that never sleeps~ to set up and run the store. Patrick thinks David

why you should read it: My New Yorker heart is nostalgic for the city she can’t visit or live in right now. There are so many things referenced in this fic that just brightened my day. Patrick dealing with his insecurities about not being enough for David and about how he fears David still wants to move to New York is so well-written.

Dear Jurisprudence by Likerealpeopledo

summary: They’ve never talked about Ray this much in bed before. David doesn’t think he likes it.

why you should read it: The summary doesn’t do it justice. I’m a total sucker for soft, tender, domestic fics. Patrick wants to go back to school, David supports him like the wonderful husband he is. Just read it - it’s so tender.

give me one good movie kiss and I’ll be alright by imbrokelyn99

summary: It's pouring rain and David is dancing around the store and lip-syncing to "Nobody" by Mitski. Patrick loves him so, so much.

why you should read it: Um, Mitski. What else could win you over? They kiss in the rain because it’s cute as hell!

Let it Snow by @princess-tiger-lily

summary: In an alternate universe, Patrick never takes David out for his birthday. Now it's Christmas and his feelings for David have only grown. It's lonely at Christmas when you can't have the man you love.

why you should read it: There’s a coziness about this, and it’s probably all of the snow and the title. But really, it’s Patrick seeing how the snow falls on David and his, “God, you’re so beautiful.” that won me over with this fic.

Morning, Love by Point_of_no_return

summary: “Will you lay with me? Cuddle for a minute?” “David, I have to get to work.” “I know, just a minute, please?”

why you should read it: I don’t think I really need to sell a cutesy cuddling fic, but please know that you won’t understand how sweet this is until you read it. Plus, we already knew that David was clingy in bed.

no matter what the storybooks say by wardo_wedidit

summary: five times Patrick reads a book of David’s, and one they read together.

why you should read it: The whole idea of David and Patrick reading together makes my bibliophile heart swell with happiness. It’s strangely so intimate and oh so comforting to read.

Is this what marriage is? by @startswithhope

summary: David and Patrick finally get back to their apartment the morning after their wedding.

why you should read it: I definitely do not need to sell you on any of Dee’s work at this point. We get to see a little glimpse of David and Patrick after the wedding festivities subside and the exhaustion hits. I’m getting cavities just from thinking about how sweet it is!

those days by blueink3

summary: Because, every once in a while, David cannot get out of bed. If pressed to explain why, he can’t. It’s a melancholia that has no trigger, no warning, no reason. It doesn’t need one.

why you should read it: On a bit of a serious note, please take a second to read this. I relate to every last fucking word in this fic. I can feel the exhaustion of that kind of day in my bones as I read it, but it never ceases to amaze me how that summary alone matches how I feel on a bad day. This whole fic is gentle, yet it hits home. Please read it.

How Easy Is That? by this_is_not_nothing

summary: He walks over to the table, pulling everything out of the bag. “I was actually thinking I could just make us a pasta with these,” he says, gesturing with the mushrooms. “If that’s ok with you?” He didn’t mean for it to be a question.

why you should read it: Super domestic (give me all of it!) evening of David cooking dinner for Patrick. Wine, a hot stove, a hotter boyfriend, this whole thing makes me want to cook, play some soothing music, and have a night for myself.

#schitt's creek #schitts creek #sc fic rec #schitt's creek fic #sc fic #schitt's creek fic rec #my post #fic rec #fic recs #david rose #patrick brewer #david x patrick

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snowdice · 5 years ago

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Road Trips and Missing Persons (Part 1)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Patton & Virgil (more to be added)

Characters: Patton, Virgil (more to be added: probably everyone)

Summary: Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

Notes: Secret Agents AU, knives, carjacking, kidnapping (more to be added)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve affectionately named it the Goblin Brain Fic because it’s helping my brain actually get motivated for studying. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined!

Patton had just been getting himself groceries. He was planning on making homemade macaroni and cheese for himself this weekend and went around the store grabbing all kinds of different cheeses (some which he did not recognize the names of and might not actually make good Macaroni and Cheese, but how could he resist the cute little goats on it) and little mini shell pasta. He also picked up some heavy cream and then headed to the cash registers with his spoils.

He’d been a bit distracted with his plans for cooking when he’d gotten into his car to drive home and hadn’t been paying as much attention as he probably should have.

The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat. He paused. “Hi?” he said tentatively.

“Put your keys into the ignition and drive,” a dark voice said into his ear.

Patton took a deep breath. “Sure,” he said, reaching forward to slowly do as the man asked. “Any particular direction we’re going in?”

“Fucking, I don’t know. Just drive,” he said. “I’ll decide later.”

“Alright,” Patton agreed and put the car into reverse. “Can I turn my head to make sure I’m not backing into anything?” he asked.

The knife retreated a bit in answer. Patton turned his head slowly and looked back while letting his foot off the break and quickly scanned his new friend out of the corner of his eye. There wasn’t much to be seen. He had a dark hoodie covering most of his frame, but a few tuffs of dark hair stuck out of it, framing a pale face with a streak of blood down his cheek and a purpling bruise near his eye.

Patton didn’t indicate that he’d seen any of this, instead choosing to turn back to face front and drive out of the grocery store parking lot.

The knife returned after that, though it didn’t touch him this time. It just hovered. Patton chose to drive towards the interstate, careful to keep his hands on the steering wheel and make no sudden movements.

“Why are you getting on the interstate?” the man behind him asked. There was caution in his tone, but he didn’t seem too suspicious of the move.

“You wanted me to drive and I don’t know where or how long. There’s a lot more driving to do out here than in town,” Patton explained. “Is that okay?”

“I…” he responded. “Yeah, sure.”

So, Patton continued to drive.

Eventually the knife started to retreat a bit, though it was still there. About 30 minutes into the ride, Patton decided it was okay to speak. “Would you like to come sit in the passenger seat?” he asked softly. “You can lean the knife across the console at my side. It’d probably be a bit more comfortable.”

The knife returned to Patton’s neck. “No,” he said firmly.

“Okay,” Patton agreed calmly.

Yet, despite his initial reaction, it was less than 5 minutes later that the knife dropped a bit again. “… I’m moving to the front seat,” he grumbled. Patton suppressed a smile.

There was shifting around in the back and then a body threw itself up into the passenger seat. He scrambled into a sitting position and rushed to point the knife back at Patton. Patton just kept driving. After a few minutes he relaxed a bit again.

Patton bit back the words ‘Put your seatbelt on,’ and instead said. “Figured out where we’re going yet?”

“Uh…” he replied. “Do you know any places associated with Green Bellow Foods?”

Hmmm... “There’s an abandoned factory near Livington. Would that work?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Let’s go there.”

“Okay, but fair warning, it is about a 3-hour drive from here.”

“Great,” he hissed.

Patton glanced over at him. He was still just a blob of black fabric for the most part as the hoodie still covered most of his body, but when he looked over at Patton, he revealed a bit more of his face. Patton was surprised by how young it looked. He looked like a teenager, likely not even a legal adult. “Since we’re going to be driving for a while,” Patton broached after a few more minutes to let him settle in the front seat. “Can we get something to eat? I have a lot of cheese in the back, but I’m lactose intolerant so that’s probably not a good idea for a closed car.”

“You…” the boy started. “If your lactose intolerant why do you have an entire bag full of just cheese?”

“And heavy cream and shell pasta! I was going to make mac and cheese when I got home!”

“That doesn’t answer the question.” Patton noticed that the knife had drifted away from him as they spoke.

“I like cheese,” Patton said with a shrug. “Anyway, I can go through a drive through,” he tempted.

“I…” Patton saw him bite his lip nervously out of the corner of his eye. “Fine, sure. I guess. Just… just you’re going to have to use cash so no one can track your credit card.”

“Okay then,” Patton agreed with a small smile in his direction. “We’ll get off at the next exit!”

“Uh, yeah, okay,” he said. “Er… Don’t… try any funny business?”

Oh goodness. He was a baby. “Of course not.”

Signs for the next exist started popping up a few minutes later. They passed a blue sign with a couple of restaurant emblems on it.

“Looks like your options are Wendy’s, Chick-fil-A, Hardees, or Freddy’s. What’re you thinking?”

“Uh I don’t know? I don’t care.”

“You have to have some preference,” Patton said. “Go ahead and pick.”

He hesitated. “Maybe Freddy’s? I don’t think I’ve tried that before.”

“Sounds good!” Patton chirped. He pulled off at the exit into a medium sized town. The exit dumped them straight onto the town’s main street and Patton could see the sign for Freddy’s a bit down the road. “So…” Patton fished while they were stuck at a red light. “Why Green Bellow Foods?”

“No reason! Why do you care?” he asked, suddenly intense and defensive.

“Woah,” Patton placated. “I’m just curious. I’m the one driving you over three hours to get there after all. I just wondered why.”

“Right,” the boy said, curling in a bit on himself. After a moment he mumbled. “My dad knew the owner.”

Did he now? Patton thought. He didn’t comment on the use of the word “knew.” The light turned green and Patton glanced over at him. “How old are you?” he asked.

“You don’t need to know.”

Patton hummed as the light turned green. “What if I guess and you tell me if I’m right?” He didn’t respond, instead crossing his arms over his chest defensively. “Let’s see,” Patton said anyway, glancing over at him. “Twelve?”

“What?! No! I’m 15!” Then he paused. “Hey!”

“Fifteen, huh?” Patton asked. “Is that why you didn’t just steal a car? You don’t know how to drive?” His new friend gave him a wounded look that edged on a pout. “What do you want to eat?” Patton asked.

He bit his lip. “What type of food is there?”

“Mostly burgers and fries, but also chicken sandwiches and hot dogs. And ice cream! Well frozen custard, but ice cream!”

“Er… just order me a cheeseburger and fries.”

“And ice cream!”

“I don’t need ice cream,” he mumbled.

“Well, I’m getting ice cream.”

“Do whatever you want,” he grumbled.

Patton narrowed his eyes at him. The kid wanted, no he needed ice cream, Patton decided.

Patton pulled into Freddy’s drive through and ordered two burgers with fries and drinks and a Dirt ‘N Worms concrete. Patton reached for his wallet and the boy startled, but he didn’t instinctually reach for the knife, Patton noted.

“Just getting my wallet,” Patton soothed, continuing to move slowly to take it out. He flipped open his wallet and took out a $20 bill. The boy relaxed again.

Patton greeted the drive-through worker with a cheery “hello” and exchanged the money for their food before thanking the employee and driving off. He pulled into a parking space in the Freddy’s parking lot.

“Do you mind if we eat real quick before hitting the road?”

He hesitated. “No funny business?”

“No funny business,” Patton swore.

“Then, fine.”

Patton put the car into park, and they started to eat their food. “So, what’s your name?” He got a suspicious look in return. “My name’s Patton,” he offered. “You can just tell me a nickname.”

“…You can call me Anxiety.”

Patton frowned a bit at the name but accepted it for the moment. He balled up the burger wrapper and stuck it in the bag. ‘Anxiety’ who had been just holding his awkwardly, followed his lead.

“Now for dessert!” Patton enthused and then made a show of freezing. “Wait. I forgot. I’m lactose intolerant.”

“How do you forget-?”

“And I forgot my lactaid pill. Guess you’ll have to eat it while I drive.”

‘Anxiety’ glared at him but took the ice cream. If Patton caught him smiling just a bit as Patton started to drive again, he didn’t mention it.

Want to read more? Click below!

AO3 Part 2 My Master Post (since it won’t show up on mobile. AHH.)

#sanders sides #patton sanders #virgil sanders #platonic moxiety #knives #kidnapping #carjacking #study break stories #adriana writes #road trips and missing persons

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lokitrashfan · 4 years ago

Text

Benefits // Part 4

A/N: Okay, this fic is going to be a little longer than planed, but I just can't leave it like this, I have to wrap it up nicely. Also I am struggling a bit with my writting becouse I sometimes have problems with english, it's not my first language and it's had to write something well made.

Warnings: As usual, mentions of sex, torture and bad words.

Word count: 2100

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Once in the kitchen again, you looked at the sweet man while he finished cooking. He seemed to have a permanent joy in his face. Always smiling a bit, always talking, always joking.

You found yourself smiling at him. It was strange, having your lips move in ways that they weren’t used to.

You ended up helping him put the table. It was nice to do something normal. It almost made you forget that he was there to keep an eye on you. You tried to empty your mind of those thoughts, The ideas came, how to escape the tower, how to kill this man, how would you be tortured the next time…

It was a difficult task to think of anything else, you had a mind trained to think about all the possible alternatives. You tried to concentrate on putting up the table.

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Loki came into the room as Ravi was serving the pasta to you. His hair still damp from the shower. You looked at him and bit your lower lip. It felt like a triumph, he knew you liked his damp hair. It was one of the things that made you lose your mind.

He took a plate and looked at you, half-smiling, but you did not look at him, you were looking at the agent, smiling. He felt rage arise, you had never looked at him that way. Smiling, a sincere smile. He felt jealous. - She’s teasing me- Yes, it was the only logical answer. He had left you wanting before and now you were taking revenge on him.

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Ravi was charming, he seemed sincere in anything he said, he talked about normal things, and he looked at you the way he seemed to look at everyone. Like if in his eyes you were a normal girl and not a dangerous assassin. You liked to be seen like something normal.

Loki left as soon as he finished his plate. He did not say a word, not even when Ravi introduced himself. Loki just stared at him until he stopped trying. You could feel Loki’s murderous stare on you.

You stayed, you talked and smiled, and listened to this man. He talked a lot, but since you talked so little, it was good. No awkward silence. He told you about his cat, about his car, about his clothes. He could talk about anything.

“Ravi, I’m having a really good time, but I think that I need some sleep. It has been a long day”

“God, sorry, sometimes I talk so much that I lose track of the time. See you tomorrow. And rest, I think you deserve it after listening to me all day” he replied with a smile. He was genuine.

“Good night, see you tomorrow”

Walking to your room, you thought about him, about all the differences between him and Loki. You liked Ravi, he was sincere, and good, and kind. And yes maybe he was not as attractive as the god of Mischief, but he was cute. And you liked him. Part of you wanted to be his friend, and part of you wanted to hug him and feel secure in his caring arms.

What was happening to you? You just knew him for one day and you could not stop thinking about him.

You were smiling as you entered your room. You could not help it. You felt good thinking about him. Well you were smiling until you saw Loki sitting on your desk, waiting for you.

“What are you doing here?”

“It’s late, I have been waiting for you”

“Answer my question Loki”

“Isn’t it obvious, do you remember what we do when the avengers are gone, or your mind is too occupied with that agent?” He was clearly mad.

“His name is Ravi, and yes, I remember what we do, but I don’t really feel like it.”

When the Avengers weren’t at the tower you and Loki enjoyed yourselves in all the ways you could. You had sex everywhere you could. Just having fun and giving up to pleasure. But now… You didn’t feel like it. Your mood had shifted since this morning. You wanted a book and silence.

“So you don’t want me to pleasure you?” He said, even more mad “Would you prefer to sleep with that man?”

“That’s not what I said, I just want to read something and go to bed”

“I could read with you” He said without stopping himself, you saw the regret of what he had said painted in his features.

“Just go to your room Loki, I don’t feel like having sex today” You said ignoring his last comment, it was to weird.

“You don’t have to keep the deal, I can find somebody else, maybe someone from downstairs. Maybe someone who isn’t scared of getting caught…” He was really mad. You had made him mad.

“I did not say anything about our deal, I just want to rest” You were annoyed. You just wanted to sleep, why was he saying those things. “But if you want to find someone else, go ahead, I won’t say anything.”

He was mad, it was not the answer he was waiting for. You felt his rage, his eyebrows pierced together. But what could you do? He was acting as if he was jealous of Ravi.

“Okay, maybe I will find somebody else” he whispered “You won’t find anyone like me”

“Maybe I don’t want to” You said, now he had made you mad. You knew there were no men like him. He was a God after all. But why was he acting like that, like a jealous teenage boy.

He went for the door but stopped with his hand on the handle “What has he that I don’t have?” He wasn’t looking at you. “What can he give you that I can’t?” His voice sounded sad, all you could hear was agony.

“Loki is not like that” you said unsure of what to say.

“You never looked at me the way you look at him”

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After leaving her room he felt the regret coming, all the things that he should not have said. Why was he so sad? Maybe he envied the way you looked at the agent. No one ever looked at him like that. No one ever would.

Maybe he didn’t want to lose you. You were just friends with benefits, but he felt that the part of being friends was important too. Not that it was a regular friendship, but he knew you and you knew him. After all the nights you had spent together, you had come to know each other. The intimacy you shared… All those things seemed nothing, but they were important. Secrets whispered in the ear of a lover.

-Lover-

Maybe he wanted to be that, not just a friend but a lover. He wanted to know you better. But most of all he wanted to be known, to share his secrets and his depper regrets. Maybe he just wanted someone he could trust. You were that someone, but another man was stealing you from him.

He didn’t want to lose you. Part of him wanted to slap hiimself and make him remember it was just sex. Nothing else. Just sex. But it was something more. Is was sex, it was nights spent togheter, it was the coffee in the morning, it was the kisses in the neck… It was intimacy. He needed it. He needed you.

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Next morning you found a box on top of your desk. A hand written note on top of it.

The only thing I will ever break.

The box was full of your lingerie. The lingerie that Loki had torn into pieces, but it was good as new.

You smiled, maybe it was how Loki asked for forgiveness after all the things he said.

----‐-------------------------------

After the realisation that he could lose you, Loki did not know how to act around you anymore. He did not want to lose what he had with you. Maybe he liked you a little too much for his own liking. After all you were only a mortal. Maybe he just liked the way he felt when he was with you.

Or maybe just liked the power he felt. The power he felt when you were beneath him.

He did not like that he realized that he liked you. But he was not going to deny it. He had spent enough time lying to himself, and now he could not risk one more lie and to lose you.

-----------------------------

Your relation with Ravi continued to flourish, you felt more and more comfortable with him. Talking with him was really easy. You started to enjoy his company more than you liked to admit. As days passed, you started to know him very well.

On the other hand your relationship with Loki was strained. You didn't want to break everything you had with him. After all you two were kind of friends. But was being kind of friends enough? Even if you had a deal, you were all for just sex no feelings, you had to admit to yourself that you kind of liked him. You liked how he treated you, not just in the bedroom. For him you were normal. There was no small talk or nervousness in his side. For him you were just you. Not a dangerous assassin.

Also, he never asked. He knew you had a past, and that you had done some things that could label you as a villain. But he never asked, he never pressured you to tell your tragic backstory like the others did. He had things in his past too. For him it only mattered who you were now.

It was what you hated the most, when people started making questions. And you hated the look on their faces when you told lies, but it was worse when you told the truth. The horrible truth.

For now, Ravi had made no questions, but something inside you knew that he would ask. If you liked him so much, would you be able to lie to his face? To make up some tragic story of how you ended murdering people? Or should you tell the truth, tell him that you did what you did only because it was fun?

He had already told you all about his life. He talked alot about himself really, but you couldn't blame him. He would not understand your past like Loki did. You were sure of that.

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Loki went to the kitchen looking for you, but he found Ravi.

Loki’s mood changed as he saw the man, he did not like how he looked at you, always talking about himself. How he put his hand on your shoulder. How he was so confident around you. Loki was jealous, he had to admit it. He was jealous of the way you looked at the agent, of how you smiled at him, of how much time you two spent together. He was mad that you did not come to his room. and he did not come to yours. It was pride, he knew it, stupid pride. But he had just admitted that he was jealous of a human. That was enough for now.

He went to your room, and found you just walking out of the door. Without thinking he put a hand around your waist and approached you to his body.

“Darling, you look stunning right now” he whispered into your ear. You were always stunning, but he had never told you before.

“Well, thank you very much, this is my favourite sweater” You said with a small smile.

Loki noticed that your cheeks had warmed up a little bit and that you bite your lips while smiling. Little things that meant that he had made you nervous, the good kind of nervous.

“I hope you are wearing some of the clothes I put in that box”

“Ugh, you were being really adorable, but of course you had to say that” Your voice was hard to him. Just seconds ago he had delighted you, and now he was making you angry.

“Hey, just forget that I said that, I just wanted to know if you want to go for a walk”

“A walk? Where? From side to side of the tower? You remember I am basically a prisoner, right?”

“Well you remember I have wonderful powers, and that I can make anything happen?” he said with a cocky smile.

He had a plan, a plan to make you forget of agents, and torture and everything else, he just needed you to say yes.

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TAGLIST:

@country-cowgirl-101

#loki marvel #loki #loki imagine #loki laufeyson #jotun loki #loki fanart #loki fanfic #loki x reader #loki x y #loki friggason #marvel fanfic #marvel #marvel loki #loki (marvel)#loki x y/n #loki reader #loki slow

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